Whiskey Ginger with Andrew Santino - Duncan Trussell

Episode Date: November 15, 2019

Santino sits down with the beauty queen of comedy, Duncan Trussell to talk about torture haunting in the afterlife, the devil that lives in the core of the earth that controls the lizard people and why Duncan had to walk away from standup for a while. FOLLOW DUNCAN: https://instagram.com/duncantrussell FOR ALL THINGS DUNCAN: http://www.duncantrussell.com FOLLOW CHEETO: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ FOLLOW CHEETO TWITTER: https://Twitter.com/cheetosantino TICKETS AT http://www.andrewsantino.com/ STAND UP DATES NOV 15-16 SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA NOV 21-23 INDIANAPOLIS, INDIANA DEC 6-7 BREA, CALIFORNIA DEC 14 PASADENA, CA JAN 9-11 EDMONTON, AB, CANADA JAN 16-18 DENVER, COLORADO JAN 24 MINNEAPOLIS, MINNESOTA JAN 25 MADISON, WISCONSIN FEB 15-17 VANCOUVER, BC, CANADA FEB 22 BAKERSFIELD, CALIFORNIA FEB 28 DETROIT, MICHIGAN FEB 29 ATLANTA, GEORGIA MAR 6-7 PHILLADEPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA MAR 13 CHICAGO, ILLINOIS MAR 27 CINCINNATI, OHIO MAR 28 CLEVELAND, OHIO APR 10 PORTLAND, OREGO APR 11 SEATTLE, WASHINGTON APR 16-18 MIAMI, FLORIDA APR 19 WEST PALM, FLORIDA MAY 9 PHOENIX, ARIZONA JUN 5-7 SAN DIEGO, CA DRINK BUFFALO TRACE AND ENJOY THE EPISODE! GET MORE PUSH OUT OF YOUR PUMP FROM THE COMFORT OF YOUR HOME AND HELP YOUR SEX LIFE https://bluechew.com ENTER PROMO CODE “WHISKEY” FOR FIRST SHIPMENT FREE THE BEST LUGGAGE ON EARTH, GO TO https://www.awaytravel.com AND ENTER PROMO CODE “WHISKEY” FOR $20 OFF! THE MOST COMFORTABLE SOCKS, SHIRTS, SWEATS AND UNDERWEAR GO TO https://mackweldon.com ENTER PROMO CODE “WHISKEY” FOR %20 YOUR FIRST ORDER! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What up, Whiskey Ginger fans? If you want to come see the Red Rocket live, we've been through this before. I got a couple of dates left before the Red Rocket tour in 2020. Got some great dates right now, currently at this very moment. I'm in San Francisco, California, one of the greatest places on planet Earth. Beautiful bridges, beautiful people, freaks, geeks, lots of hills. I love it. I'm at Cobb's Comedy right now this weekend. Next weekend, I'm going to be in Indianapolis, Indiana at Helium. As you can see right here, that's where all this stuff is. And then I take a break for Turkey Day, fill my belly, and I go to California again. I come back to California to do a couple of shows. I'm doing the Brea Improv, and then I go to do the Ice House in Pasadena. That's it for the year. That's it for me. And then I'm doing the Brea Improv. And then I go to do the Ice House in Pasadena.

That's it for the year. That's it for me. And then I'm going to go party a little bit. And then it starts the Red Rocket Tour, as you can see right here, this beautiful art. How sexy is that? Thank you, Jenna and Joseph, for killing it. It's beautiful, man. We're going to be touring around this beautiful country, kicking out fun.

And all these dates, I'm trying to do a fridays with a fan or i kick it with a fan i'll put it up on my instagram so follow me on instagram subscribe to this please um like it go to the podcasts uh and leave a comment give me five stars do whatever you got to do to promote this push it around spread the word man because i really do appreciate you guys very very much i mean that It means a lot to me to be able to do this and connect with the fucking fans. I love it so much. It is incredible for me. And I want you to help keep this thing running so I can keep doing it for you.

So subscribe and do all the good stuff and do yourself a big favor and enjoy the episode. This episode of Whiskey Ginger is brought to you by Blue Chew. Blue Chew is going to take care of you, dude. Listen, you having a little bit of trouble with the Peter Piper Pector Picker Peppers? If you're having a little bit of trouble with the man downstairs, do yourself a big favor and go to bluechew.com and get yourself

some excellent enhancements, okay? Blue Chew is for every dude. You don't have to be embarrassed about it. It's something that millions of American males face. They've been in a little bit of trouble keeping it rough and tough and tumble. You want to go more than one time? Listen, I've had a little bit of trouble going two or three times. You know, by the time I get to five, I'm a little sleepy.

So I pop a Blue Chew and I feel good. I'm being real. The Red Rocket takes off after you take one of these things. You can do it from the comfort of your own home. You don't got to go see a doctor. You can do it on your computer. Get it sent to your house. It takes care of all that weird anxiety and all that creepy feeling about, you know, asking

someone for help. This you can do from the comfort of your own home. Go to BlueChew.com. Use the promo code WHISKEY to get yourself a first free champagne. Pay $5 for shipping. That's it. So go to bluechew.com. Use the promo code whiskey

and get some more boost to your red rocket. In here, we pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey.

You are that creature in the ginger beard. Sturdy and ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are beautiful. You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse. Gingers are hell no. This whiskey is excellent.

Ginger. I like gingers. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Whiskey Ginger. My guest today is one of my favorite people on earth. I say that for all my guests, but I mean it once again today. It's Mr. Duncan Trussell. Duncan, thank you for coming. My pleasure. Thanks for having me. We're drinking a little bit of Eagle Rare, for those that need to know. Dunk and I are

both having it straight up. Which is what we talk about off air. A wise Irishman once told me, there are no rules to how you drink whiskey some people like it on the rocks some people like it straight up you like it up i like it well you know i don't i really like just like whiskey i don't have a preference when we i do like it i like whiskey gingers i like just whiskey in. I don't drink it all the time, though. I haven't had whiskey in probably four months or something.

So this is really special. Is this good? Oh, yeah. Wait, why four months? Consciously? You were like, I... Oh, yeah. What happened?

No, it was sort of conscious. I don't know why. It's a weird... I don't know why we have not had whiskey at the house. Maybe it's because the baby, something about drinking whiskey around the baby or something. But I think that's... Do babies drink whiskey? Well, the baby loves whiskey.

Like that's the other thing. The baby got a hold of the whiskey? No, but the baby's doing that reincarnated, like in Tibetan Buddhism, it's called the tulku system where they take children and they recognize stuff from past lives and they'll like pick that and that's how they know like the next dalai lama is going to be who is the next

dalai lama do we know well they don't know yet because you have to die could it be your kid no way because technically the way that would work is no because the the idea is the soul of the awakened being, when the body drops, chooses another incarnate. Ooh, another portal. Portal. Another portal, yes. And then there's all these signs, and the signs lead. It's very much like the three wise men in the Bible. It leads people to the child, and then they bring the possessions that used to belong

to the former incarnation, but they mix it in with all this other stuff. Wow. And the baby picks the glasses and picks the thing, and then that confirms it's the baby. And then they take the baby. It's a huge honor for the parents, but it's also very controversial. And the Dalai Lama has, I think, kind of hinted that maybe that system might be on the way out, actually. Why? I maybe that system might be on the way out, actually. Why? I like that system.

Well, yeah, but then, you know, there's the criticism. I do, too. I think it's cool, but the criticism of it is like, you mean it's some kind of like theocracy where the priests essentially steal a child and like condition the child to... Yeah. That's the... Yeah, that's right. There has to be a sacrificial lamb, right?

Someone has to be the thing. I love your attitude about... I mean, I think it's... The way it's been explained to me is, at least in those times in Tibet, it was just a huge honor. It would be essentially like someone coming to you and saying that you're a royalty,

or that you would have a child, and they're like, oh, your child's a royalty. They anoint you. Yeah, you're like... It's as if you have a child and your kid becomes a Kardashian. Like you get anointed in American culture. You become holier than thou. That's right.

Well, we can only dream. Do you believe in reincarnation? Yeah, totally. You do? Yeah. In what form? See, my mother believed, there's a lot of different versions. My mom believes you come back as not another human being,

but another form of an animal. She loves animal reincarnation. She believes that like a cat, a dog, whatever. She doesn't believe you come back as another person. Well, I think like the analysis of that stuff, it starts with like this life. So we kind of talked about it for a second, but it's sort of like you can look at your life

and see that in the continuum of just your life, you've basically reincarnated. If you look at you now versus when you were a baby. You have reincarnated. It's two completely different forms. Right. And then also if you look at the phases of your life, you realize like, oh shit, it's some like far back.

It might as well have been a different life. It's a different house. It's, you know, and the older you get, the more you realize just how true that is. And yet there seems to be some kind of thread running through it all, which is the identity or the sense of self or being something. So the way I've been taught about reincarnation is that it's more like a momentum thing. It's like anything that has momentum in the universe, that momentum in some way, that energy keeps going. Right.

It gets transferred into other things. Yeah, that's it. I think that's just a natural... That's a super scientific approach. Like, your energy literally is going to go to somewhere else. One day I was high as shit, and I was thinking, my heart is like this little machine that beats using its own electrical energy

created by itself. So it's completely self-sustaining. And at some point, it just stops. The machine turns off. Yeah. So the energy goes to a thing right it has to be displaced but it's wild to think that the little machine just works on its own on its own just because on its i know that's fucking crazy fucking crazy and then all like when you doing that analysis, how many things are automatic that require zero input from you, and then you take that, you extrapolate that to like the next time you go buy anything. Like just watch how you buy something, and it's crazy because your body just goes into a completely automatic series of movements

in the most fluid way. And you really don't think about it. You pull out your card. You swipe the card. You look at the person. You say thank you in some fake-ass way. Or maybe you're serious. Maybe for a second you, like, catch a knot.

Like, you look at them and you're like, thanks. And then you leave. But you really, if you look, it's mostly just completely automatic. None of that exchange really has any connection to the person that's given it to you. I guess the parallel could be like when you first started exchanging gifts or first started exchanging

goods for services, there was a literal connection with the person that gave you the thing. They either made it or they're exchanging something for you because it's worth something to you. In this case, everyone we're purchasing things from or obtaining things from has zero connection to the thing they're giving you almost always almost like a car salesman doesn't give a fuck about hondas he just has a job he didn't make the honda no yeah he doesn't care but the place that we come from is a place where we used to make the thing to trade

or sell the thing to get things in return yeah so that's why like human connection i think is severed a little bit because when people complain like customer service is dead it's like it's not that it's dead it's just that's not a part of our world anymore we just that's unfortunately it's just a truth it's like right we don't not that we don't need it it's just that's not it's not a high functioning way for us to operate any we we no longer yeah can create all of our own stuff and use that for exchange any longer that's right yeah it's it's true it's in the shit that we're like even the manufacturers of the things you quite often the manufacturing process has so many little parts yeah that there's no one even invested in

the final product it's just a thing that's gotten woven together yeah and no one will even some people don't even know what they're fucking making that's the create there was a great documentary on netflix called um american companies i think it was called american company and it was basically about the the um the re um the rebirth of the gm factory by this chinese company that bought it and essentially just the idea that most of these people are just assigned one little job, and they do it to extreme, by the way. I mean, the Chinese work absurd hours, and they make fun of the Americans for only working eight-hour days,

and wanting a lunch and shit. They just mock them. And so they stay after. They're like, we just stay. And they're like, till when? And they're like, till we're done with the amount that we had to do wow it's fucking dude it was crazy to watch i mean it was just it was basically it started this harmonious thing of like a little town that's going under being rebirthed by this chinese company coming in creating more jobs all this stuff really turned

into a it was warfare it was just like us versus them at some point really that's essentially what happens because their way of life is so different. Our way of work is so uniquely different. Fuck. It was nuts. So they were like, Americans are lazy. That's literally what the whole... The documentary is essentially like Americans getting mad at work conditions being poor

and unhealthy and Chinese saying American are lazy babies. That's literally what the documentary is about. So, wow, that's incredible so they're sort of like that's just like late stage industrial capitalism reaching the the apex which is that the worker not only is unaware of their that they're being exploited but the worker has started taking pride in the level at which they're being exploited. Yes. And it's like other workers are like, they're like, yeah, we don't want to get exploited as much as you. They're like, you fucking pussy.

Let them exploit you. Don't you have any pride? Be a grown up and let them eat your soul alive. It's almost like if you're going to be, it's like, it's like if I'm, it's like the idea, like if I'm dead, if I'm dead, just bury me in the ground. Let the bugs have me. You know, it's like, well, I'm already, it's like if i'm it's like the idea like if i'm bed if i'm dead just bury me in the ground let the bugs have me you know it's like well i'm already it's like if i'm already sacrificed to this thing then let me get eaten totally alive totally just ravage me use every single piece of me because i don't give a shit yeah that's what they did it's a it's a wonderful documentary it shows i mean many other angles that's not the that's not the only point but that seems to be

the pinnacle of the the apex of the documentary is all about the sacrifice that that culture makes versus what our culture needs and is used to right and by the way every single second of the day you're like yeah fucking people shouldn't work in fucked up conditions like like of course not that's insane like they just have been conditioned to not complain because they're lucky to have jobs and it's part of the social zeitgeist. It's like, you just don't complain. Did we talk about, I don't think we did. And I don't know how true this is. It's a thing I heard, but I think it's true how during the industrial revolution, they started putting clock towers in towns. No, I don't know this. Oh yeah. And people were like basically rioting because they didn't want the clock towers.

The clock towers were getting put there because they wanted people to come at a certain time. Right. And before that, people didn't really function like that. Yeah, you just made it when you made it. Yeah, yeah. Or when the sun was coming up, you would want to go work on the land. But then the clock tower replaced the sun. But then the clock tower replaces sun.

And so people viciously resisted it because they recognized how fucked up what was happening was. And then over time, we just got used to this concept of, well, 40-hour work week, 60-hour work week, overtime, commutes, and all that. We all kind of were like, yeah, that's just the way it is. It's what you do. But it doesn't really have to be that way. No, but we think it's that way. So we keep doing it. Do you ever think about that thing of like, what would happen if everybody just stopped working for a week? Yeah. What would happen?

I think the economy would collapse. Maybe if we just stopped spending money for a week and didn't go to work. If everyone stopped at once. Well, yeah, you would need like 80%. And then that 80% would have to be organized with just a set of demands. The problem with any of this is, when somebody says like, these massive problems on paper should be easy to fix, right? Like massive starvation and hunger

and like poor water sources around the world. There's many a smart people that go, well, if every billionaire literally got together and was like, I'll donate 10% of my worth to make sure that this can happen. Yeah. It still wouldn't solve the problems. This is the same, follow me,

because what I'm saying is like, there's so much bureaucracy to getting anything done. Like if you do a TV show or film or really anything, or even a live standup show, you begin to realize how many puzzle pieces need to like fit to make one thing happen. So the only thing I can think of is when you're like, God, if everyone just stopped doing one thing all at once,

we could do it. But even when we all are doing something at once, we're still not doing it in unison. You know how hard it is? Like at a football game, thousands of people group together, but they're all kind of on their own system. They're all in the same place.

But to get everyone to do the same thing is almost impossible almost impossible it would require like a bioweapon it's crazy that's what i mean it would be the threat of the threat you'd have to say like we either all need to stop doing this immediately or i'll hit this button and we will die oh that but i mean more like somebody would you know how there's so many things people don't want to talk about right now. Like right now we're really worried about Trump. Let's talk about him.

Yeah. And we're really worried about the government. We're really worried about the environment. But like people don't seem like they want to talk about some of the other shit, which is CRISPR, gene editing, and – That shit's insane. AI. Yeah.

Yeah. Gene editing. That shit's insane. AI, yeah. Yeah, and how much of what we do is just genetic data that we're reacting to and imagining it's free will. So I remember interviewing this guy at Singularity University, which is like Ray Kurzweil, and this, I think his name is Peter Diamandis, and they're all these like they just study technology

and look at like what you're talking about, which is what are like the main problems on planet Earth, one of them being dirty water. Filth. Filth, yeah. If we could clean the water, if we could figure out a really low-cost, environmentally friendly mechanism clean the water, if we could figure out a really low-cost, environmentally friendly mechanism for cleaning water, then we would instantly eliminate a huge swath of diseases

that are waterborne illnesses, and that would solve one of the big problems of the world. So they look at that top-down stuff, like what's the very pinnacle of this. The pinnacle of the real issues. Right, yeah. And what they found now is the real problem is that in the center of the earth, there is a being, a very evil being. And he goes by many names, and it's essentially what we call the devil.

And so, yeah, if we can kill the devil, then the world, all the problems of the world will stop. But you, you want the devil to thrive well look it's like i don't see why we're gonna do some kind of bigoted shit against the devil what is it that he lives in we're gonna keep colonizing all the way down into hell is that our plan yeah chop the head off some subterranean being if you think it has a head it has a lot of heads but that's one of the problems is the heads grow back right away. But they grow back as your parents.

So like you cut the heads off and then you have to cut your parents' heads off and then it's a real fucking mess. It's just a continual – it's just a big domino effect. The problem I think people aren't realizing it. This guy in this interview, he was telling me like, oh, like the problem is that as technology becomes more accessible for everybody then that means that people are going to get more access to things like for example right now if you and i want to shoot a satellite up in the sky and have a successful satellite we we don't have the technology to do that would be very expensive but could get it done but it'd be very hard.

It would be a lot of money. And probably there's crazy licenses you might have to get to. I don't know. We would break the law to get it done. Yes. We could. You could. But one of the things he's saying is in 20 or 30 years,

that's going to be a thing people could just do. Yeah, to be like, I just want to send a satellite up just to bounce information to somebody else. Or just to shoot a satellite down. And then the other thing you said is like, you know, based on the way we're beginning to understand 3D printers, we're going to have biological 3D printers. You know, let's say it's like 50 years,

you know, which isn't that long. No, but it's long for technology. It's long 50 years, you know, which isn't that long. No. But it's long for technology. It's long for technology. It probably won't even be that long. But let's just imagine it was going to be 30 years before people are going to be able to use 3D printers to print viruses. What? Yeah, that's what he was saying is like, oh, basically where we're headed is it's going to get to the point where the shit people are

doing with like ar-15s they're going to be able to do with ebola holy fuck yeah so you're just print and print print disease tens and thousands of versions of disease yeah and then not only that but like if this crisper stuff were if you were able to like somehow print a virus that when it got into you, it didn't give you a disease, but it just changed your chromosomes or your genetics so that it made you more docile or maybe it made you more like, I don't know, just less interested in nationalism. Or if you could find genes associated with specific personalities, specifically let's just say schizophrenia,

and you weaponize some virus that makes people schizophrenic, then you could theoretically drive a country insane. What? This was genetically engineered. Yeah. Where do you think they would start? Oh, I think it would probably here. But I mean like what group of people do you think they would target?

Because I feel like whenever diseases or, you know, whenever things are created, whenever the government is aided in pushing out of something, whether or not you believe that to be true is your own opinion. But whether or not you think that crack wasn't targeted, that's your opinion, I guess. your opinion i guess but like when diseases and these things are kind of not just created or pushed they tend to be kind of like uh push it an extremely specific group because they know that that'll be the funnel effect to like all the other things yeah who do you think they would give the diseases to first whoever's sitting on the fucking oil man see i think i think the homeless would be the first to get these diseases yeah and it will activate them to spread it in major metropolitan areas. Sure. Because I already think, I read this article the other day about,

there was 9,000 attacks by mentally unstable and or intoxicated homeless on civilians last year. 9,000. Yeah. And they said it's up it's up up 30 times are you talking about the hot bucket of diarrhea story bucket of diarrhea i saw that yeah that's the worst thing that like a woman got hot a hot bucket of diarrhea dumped on her head yeah by a homeless guy downtown now so i love reddit and i was reading the red comments because some of the comments are so funny, but some of them are really smart.

Yeah. And somebody was like, if it was hot diarrhea, there's a chance that he heated it on a fire. Yeah, because it couldn't have come out and stayed warm for that long. Well, someone was like, no. He probably was storing it up in a bucket. I think it sat in the sun for a long time. Yeah, and then the response to it was, if someone's crazy enough to save their diarrhea up in a bucket, all bets are off.

Meaning, why not? Yeah. Why wouldn't you heat your diarrhea up? Yeah. With like a little Coleman stove and a wooden spoon right next to his soup there's his actual dinner is there and then his shit party is there yeah right next to the soup that's like getting processed through his body to make his fucking horrific bio weapons and it ends but i gotta tell you man to me that's i feel like that would be my luck is i'd be the guy

in the tent next to the guy who's slowly heating his fucking diarrhea and just smelling the the waft of cooking bubbling when it just starts bubbling that first moment when your diarrhea just starts bubbling because who eats because in human history like outside of like nuclear i guess when when like Hiroshima happened, there was probably places where diarrhea naturally started boiling or something. I imagine. Or in pits. There must have been when there was. Diarrhea pits?

Shit pits. Yeah. People had shit pits for a long time. You know what I mean? People had shit pits. Prior to bathrooms, people just had shit pits. Right. You dug a hole and I'm sure shit pits that got filled up by certain...

I mean, that's a problem in India. I was watching the dung party. Do you know what that is? Yeah. Once a year, for good luck, there's a town maybe in India that they rummage through animal dung, and they throw it at each other, and it's for fun. It's because of the overwhelming amount of shit in the town, but they think it's good luck because it's animal poop and it's going to bless

them into the new year, I guess. Right. Yeah. Cow shit. Why don't we do that? Why don't we just have a cow shit party? Well, there's no cows around here. I know. We've got to go up north a little bit. You would have to go up north. You'd have to, like, I think probably we could do it. Well, let's have a shit party. I think we should throw a shit party.

That's funny because it's just like somebody has fond memories of when they were a kid. Throwing shit at their friends. And their parents. You get to have a little bit of sweet revenge at throwing shit at your parents because it's joyful. It's a celebration. Can you imagine? That's like having a punch party. You know what I mean?

To your abusive parent, just being able to punch them for one day. Yeah, watching that streak of fucking cow shit smatter in their face. They have to act like they like. Those kinds of things. They're kind of wonderful. It's kind of wonderful. Kind of wonderful. But, you know, those traditions start with a charismatic, crazy person.

I would imagine it's like a person who's got some charisma or has like an entourage or people that are afraid of him and he's like let's throw shit at each other and they're too weak to be like no i don't want to do that they're too weak because they have to go along with it yeah okay sure it's like if a famous guy did that like that's that's it that's the level of popularity that's what power and fame can do. If a local famous guy was like, we should throw shit on each other. Everyone's kind of like, I don't know. But the famous guy is like, do it. You should do it.

You want to be like a part of this thing that I'm doing? Do it. And people are like, I guess. I really do like him. The one deep kiss ass dude will be like, fuck yeah, that would be awesome, man. Can I throw your shit? If you poop in my hands, I can throw your shit at some of the common yeah, that'll be awesome, man. Can I throw your shit? If you poop in my hands, I can throw your shit at some of the commoners. That'll be awesome, man.

That'll be awesome, man. And then the guy who's like jealous, but we'll like, fuck, man. I guess that yes man wants to throw shit, so I'll do it too. And you resist for a long time. Yeah. But then you realize it's the smart move. It's the smart move. It's the smart move. Everyone's doing it.

Trauma bonding. That's what that's called. Trauma. That's trauma bonding. You ever heard that? Trauma bonding? Yeah. Trauma bonding's a big thing.

I mean, that's how people kind of get rid of shit from their past, pun intended, when you get to execute it out with other people who have something similar. Yeah. We've lived through the same pain. Yes. And then, yeah. Yeah. It's why soldiers are always like,

it's why the VFW is this beautiful place for soldiers to reminisce about the hard times. We love getting together to group about how hard it was for us together. Do you know what I mean? If you ever work in a restaurant,

one of people's favorite things to do in the service industry is complain about working in the service industry. It's probably the pinnacle of the service industry is being like bitching about customers about what it's like to work certain hours you ate tables i did dude i bartended i bust i hosted cool i served i did everything i did literally everything except for make food i washed dishes i did it all i I washed dishes. I bused. I waited tables at Applebee's. Bus boy at Chili's. My big move was Applebee's. Washed dishes at Chili's. I was the only, I'm only pausing because I'm like, well, I guess maybe I am disabled a little bit. But like,

I was the only like not disabled dishwasher. All the other dishwashers were like yeah they were like trying to like give people work who so mentally disabled yeah physically disabled both mentally disabled so you were the only uh by by science terms non-mentally disabled yeah yeah and i loved i was like of all that and comedy have been my favorite jobs on earth washing dishesish washing? Oh, fuck. Why was it so nice? There's a lot of reasons. One of the reasons is I think a lot of people don't understand that you can get really good at washing dishes. So you can get really fast.

And anything that allows for that ability to get really, really good is somehow quite satisfying. Also, weirdly having your hands in water all day is quite nice. Spraying water and stuff is cool. But then also, the expectations of the dishwasher are zero. No one has any expectation but that you're going to fuck up probably or that you're just like, you're the dishwasher. You're just washing dishes. There's nothing else that's really expected of you. All the servers are losing their shit over fucking up an order,

or the chefs are wanting to kill somebody because they ordered a steak that they made, but then it wasn't a steak, so they have to throw it away. There's some metric that gets the chefs in trouble or some shit. All this intense drama. You're just over there just washing fucking dishes, humming Led Zeppelin to yourself, not thinking about anything. And also it's like, what, you got pride over your job? Hell no.

You are not a slave to the sad pride that many of us are encumbered by when it comes to our particular profession. You might be proud because you're doing a good job, but that's not going to be the first thing you tell somebody that you are maybe trying to like uh hook up with you're gonna be like well you know i'm a dishwasher no you just say i work at the restaurant yeah what do you do i do a bunch of different stuff i love acid i like going on hikes and i love acid and then they're like what do you do as a job i wash dishes i do i do some shit at the restaurant but i mostly do acid and then they're like what do you do as a job i wash dishes i do i do some shit at the restaurant but i mostly do acid and hike yeah that's what that's the exchange yeah i did i did

a bus boy which was great because i would just get high and put on headphones and nobody bothered me another job where it's like don't yell at me because you don't want to do this job it's great to work a job when no one can yell at you really because if you quit, it's harder to find someone that's willing to do that kind of at a common pace. Like a lot of times you find someone that does these laborious jobs and they do it for a short period of time. They basically half-ass it. So if you're just kind of doing it the way you're supposed to be doing it, you can kind of meander through it and it's fine. And it's – what are you going to – you're going to yell at me? can kind of meander through it and it's fine and and it's what are you gonna you're gonna yell at me fire me yeah i fucking i fucking clean up shit fire me fire me just go get another guy then yeah so to them it's like it's more of a

hassle to find another guy that is cool with cleaning up shit than just dealing with your right either incompetence or lack of care that's right it's kind of wonderful like busing was really fun because i would just get to you know know, clean up shit, get stoned, and then sometimes flirt with some of the servers. Like that was always fun. For some reason, it was attractive to be a bus boy because I was... You're attractive. You're like the cute bus boy. But it was something about it that was like my carelessness was attractive to the servers.

Right. My talking shit. Like I would fuck around with tables just because I could. Then when I became a server, the strain was immense. My talking shit, like I would fuck around with tables just because I could. Yeah. And then when I became a server, the strain was immense. I fucking hated it. I hated it.

That's it. It sucked. You had the, the dealing with people, the taking someone's attitude. I also worked at a place for, I was at Outback Steakhouse and then after that

I worked at like a bar and they had dollar wing nights and people would come in and order two wings two like give me two wings yeah and then you're like what kind of tip would i get from this why would i want to work where people are going to get a four dollar bill well you do bear witness to this, like, to the, quote, clever consumer. Yeah, right, right. Which is ironic because typically they're not the smartest people on earth. But they're coming in there like they feel like they have, like, truly cracked the system.

Yeah, they cracked the system. It's like the people who bring, like, secret, like, compartments in their jacket to buffets. Secret, like, compartments in their jacket to buffets. And, like, slop mashed potatoes into the compartments to, like, get food out. It's that kind of thing where it's like their sights have been set on a weird form of, like, it's not theft. But it's like they're in there to, like, okay, so I just want to make sure this is all you can eat, right? All you can eat breadsticks. I just want to make sure this is all you can eat, right? All you can eat, breadsticks. I'm going to order a million breadsticks.

You want all of them? Yeah. That's a fucking weird thing where these corporations, they've created these fake ass places that are modeled after a place that once really existed. Right. Like Applebee's, it's like, this is like the neighborhood place. It's like, cheers, this is where you come. Talk to the bartender. Even like the, you want to see a creepy fucking place, man.

God, it's the Wendy's in Panorama City. Panorama City, the Wendy's in Panorama City. Panorama City Wendy's is one of the most surreal places. You end up there because you're probably going to buy furniture because there's like a furniture store by there. Carpet. There's carpet up there. Big carpet stores up there.

Yeah. So you're already probably arguing with your wife maybe. 100%. You're starving. A fight is happening. A fight is going to – which means that like that Wendy's in Panorama City is sort of like a fight vortex. It is where couples are struggling with something already.

Something does. And this Wendy's just so happens to be the thing that catches all the shit. It's just a place in the middle of the stores, but it's also in the middle of one of those parking lots that should be in like a Philip, like what's that documentary Philip Glass did the music for that? I can never pronounce the name, like called Cowan Squatsy or whatever.

I know, I know. Yeah. I can't remember. I know how to say it. Yeah. Where it's like, look what has happened in modern times.

It's like one of those, like, you know, it just goes on and on and on. And so my wife and I are sitting there, I think post fight, but we've made up. We're sitting there. We decide, fuck it, we'll just order some food.

But you go into this Wendy's, and for whatever reason, that Wendy's is really trying to seem like a down-home nice place. So what they've done is in the middle of the Wendy's, there's a fake fire with something rolling inside of it. Like an there's a fake fire with like something rolling inside of it. Like an image of a fake fire or like a – Like a mechanical log. Like a machine. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But they need to oil it. They haven't oiled the log, so it's literally going – like just this awful sound as the log is rolling in there. And then we're eating the burger. We both got sick for like two days from the burger which we should have eaten but then we're like looking out in the parking lot and that's when you see like the guy who is like beyond homeless like he's in a loincloth he's given up all right homeless is the is a step above where he's at yeah He's at squalor. He's at... Or he's enlightened.

Maybe he's like an enlightened being or some being that's like transcended society altogether or he's just someone dedicated to just really, really being like... Free, maybe. What? Free. Free. Totally free. But like if he was like in a set department,

if there was a set department, they would be like, you got to take some of the grease off of him because no one's going to believe that. He's like, but so as you're eating this weird burger, listening to the squeak, in this fucking place where they really have, someone's like, let's just make this seem like a ski lodge.

In the middle of a parking lot. And then you look up and there's the guy gesticulating weird like hand mudras or gestures that appear to be some kind of sorcery staring up at the sun and you're like what dimension are we in yeah are we still even in earth it's the kind of place where if you saw like the shimmering hologram of a predator or something zipping by, you might not be that surprised. You might be like, oh, if I keep going deeper into Panorama City, at some point, I bet it's not a parking lot anymore. I bet it turns into like just a crater or something, you know, which leads to hell. You never know. Another portal. Or something, you know, which leads to hell.

You never know. Another portal. Why is it that these places, these outskirt places, tend to be the portal to another world? Why is it that typically they don't happen in major metropolitan areas? Do you think there's a connection between that? Because the more I watch ghost shows or apparition finding or even places that have a lot of energy, whether it be negative or positive, overwhelming,

it's always outskirts. It's always outskirts. Why? Why do you think? Why in the center of a metropolitan area does it not tend to have that thing you know like the the the the the the apparition worth of a place tends to be how far it is away from the center of things i wonder why well it's like this is what one of the you know i don't think we're gonna have it in our lifetimes and we're probably never gonna have it but it's one of those dreams i have is is like a rewinding device so that i could you know you always think like know, man, I have no idea how this works.

But like we were saying earlier, this momentum, it carries on. Yeah. So then that means that theoretically, if light has been bouncing off the earth and is going into space, then we had a way to travel faster than the speed of light does that mean that we could then beat the light that emanated from the earth in like the 70s or the 60s or 50s and look at what the earth looked like then like theoretically can we have some kind of time telescope and look back but because in a place like panorama city in that parking lot i would like to rewind i would like to rewind right and see what it was like in in the 70s and then what it was like in the 1870s and what it was like in like 70 bc and because my theory is it always

sucked like it was always just shit it was never a good place it was like you can keep going back it sucked from its inception yeah which and suck by the way transcends time yeah to a degree that we couldn't explain things that suck tend to always suck yeah why it just can't get over the suck it's just like it was a sucky shit place for beings prior to right like like organisms hated it or yeah just even though even like the like whatever the fuck it was even the pre pre-life materials didn't look right compared to other didn't want to live there yeah they were almost escaping panorama city yeah to try to get closer to any other area anywhere else yeah i that. Suck makes its way through time very well for some reason.

Right. It's hard to change. Or is it like maybe at some point someone did some horrible thing? Like we don't know. There could have been some ritual, some warlock just was like. Something cursed that area. Yeah. Whatever it was.

Ruined the energy of the area and now it exists forever like that. And sometimes I do like when I'm – you know, I let my mind go where it wants to most of the time. Which I love about you. Thank you. But I don't believe this stuff, but it's fun to think about. But sometimes I think, wait, maybe just one very, very evil person lives nearby and we're experiencing the hell radiation coming from their heart and it's just like cursing.

Like maybe there was a time when people were like, oh, you've got a darkling around here. Just find him and like cut his head off and the place will be cleansed. Right. But we don't know that now. It's just like, oh, something's off here. You know, there's lots of places like that, though, where there's like tendencies for things to happen.

You know, there's places where there's more of a chance that a thing will happen for better or for worse. Not just metaphysically, but literally, there's places where there's types of weather that show up. So why wouldn't that be true for like metaphysical stuff too? Wet, dark weather patterns. Well, like I've tried to explain to many people that yesterday my wife said something. She goes, your strongest emotion is nostalgia.

And I was like, really? And she's like, by far. That's cool. Nothing is even close. She goes, even like the love you have for me is not even close to nostalgia. I was like, how could that be true? She's like, because the way it connects to you is so unexplainably unique. The way you act is very strange.

And I was like, wow, because I can't see the way I act in regards to that stuff. But I do know what she's talking about. Like, I do know that places from my past make me feel a type of way that I can't fucking, I cannot articulate. I wish I could. It's almost gross. It's almost overwhelming. When I think right now about going to Phoenix, it like,

is that my phone? I don't know. That's the most unprofessional fucking shit. No one cares. You know what? This is the kind of shit that really pisses me off. This is the kind of shit that pisses me off. Like real pissed off?

No, not even a little bit. No. But how weird is this? My ringer is off, but it's ringing. I think you should answer. Can I have more whiskey? Yeah, I'm going to get

some more whiskey for us. But isn't that fucking weird that my phone is off, but it's ringing? Why is that? Is this because I need a new phone? Who knows? Maybe it's an Amber Alert.

Who's Amber? She's like... We'll be right back after these messages. Let me go get a little. Well, pour some. Here, you poured. Go ahead.

Thank you. Not even a little bit. Thank you. You're a guest in my home. Whiskey is good. It's delicious, right? Should I go fill up some more? Yes.

In the meantime, you did. That's good. You need to tell, I'm going to go get a little bit more from the other room. You need to take

this question and run with it. So while I leave the room, you can go. Okay. Okay. If you could come back as a quote-unquote typical ghost or like an ethereal being, where in the United States would it be? Can't be the world. Where in the United States would it be?

You want me to think about it until you get back? I want you to talk about it until I get back? I want you to talk about it until I get back. Okay. Start to explain to the people your process. Okay, great. So,

all right, we're going to have to deal with a few things. Like the first consideration is what kind of ghost am I going to be? That seems almost more important than where you're going to be.

You know, are you going to be a poltergeist? Are you going to be a lich? I'm probably going to want to be a l to be a poltergeist? Are you going to be a lich? I'm probably going to want to be a lich over a poltergeist, I think. Poltergeists are just annoying. Throw shit, drag little girls into closets for no reason. A lich.

I'm going to be a lich. Yeah. I think I'm going to be like a Hawaiian lich. A Hawaiian lich. Yeah. You want to be a Hawaiian lich? a hawaiian lich yeah i like that like where in hawaii which island though i'm gonna do probably hana hana okay yeah yeah yeah and i like a nice lava tube right that's got a ocean view that ends in the ocean it's gonna have definitely like dark parts

it's gonna have skylights from natural openings in the lava tube yes but for some reason people aren't gonna go in there that much for some reason and also maybe like a badass mid-century modern Also, maybe like a badass mid-century modern house from the 60s collapsed into some part of the lava tube. So I've got a nice like Brady Bunch style house I could go into if I want to. And yeah, so a Hawaiian lich. A Hawaiian lich. A nice spacious lava tube that's ocean front views. If I could haunt, if I could be a being after this and get to haunt anywhere, it would be Orlando, Florida.

Whoa. Yeah, Orlando. Because I like almost nothing about it. So I feel like they deserve all my haunting. That's a lot of work. Yeah, but you know what? I'm ready for the work in the afterlife. Okay, but you're thinking-

I'm ready for all the work. You're a vengeance ghost. Yeah, it's a lot. But you know what? I'm ready for the work in the afterlife. Okay, but you're thinking. I'm ready for all the work. You're a vengeance ghost. Yeah, I'm a vengeance ghost. Why? Because I just feel like it's going to help pass the time until whatever comes next. You're an immortal being. Yeah. Do you know how bored you're going to get of scaring people?

Not scaring people. Fucking with them. Okay. Okay. I'm going to do fun stuff. Like what? I'm going to do fun stuff. Like what? I'm going to, you know,

it's always going to be families that are visiting Disney World, by the way. That's my whole aim. It's like families that come in from other places. So I really get a collection of the entire United States.

Sure. But do fun stuff like tuck a guy's wiener in his butt so when he wakes up his wiener's in his butt. That's cool. I'll never be able to explain

that to almost anybody. That's cool. Do you know what I mean? No, but we'll never explain that to almost anybody. Switching a car tire out from one car to another how okay i have ultimate ability i've thought about this i can do almost anything listen man i'm not trying to shit on don't

shit on my plants like i want to talk about getting that wiener in the butt okay sure that's my i've thought about this a lot so yeah first of all a lot of people sleep on their side so technically not to get ghost nerdy on you you, you're a poltergeist. Yeah. Because you have the ability... You're not a wraith. You're not a phantom. No, I'm a poltergeist.

You're a poltergeist. Yeah. So you're going to have to figure out a way to do this without the guy waking up. You're assuming you can just... A lot of people sleep through a lot, especially someone that's not drunk or on drugs. Okay. So it's like people who are doped up at Disneyland. Yeah, like some fat dad who doesn't give a shit about his kid that's also like,

I'm just doing this to keep this marriage together. It's falling apart. He hates Mary, his wife. He cannot stand her. So he blacks out. He goes home, back to the hotel. He just falls his fat body onto the bed. Then he lays with one leg, you know, half over the sideways, so his cock is kind of between his legs.

Okay. All I simply need to do is grab and tuck. It's grab and tuck. No, you're going to need adhesive. I don't know. The adhesive comes from probably the sweat from his ass, from the swass. You don't think the swass is going to keep it in there? Fuck no.

There's no way that— So I need to purchase some—I need to have something that's going to keep it in there. What if he's just well-endowed? I think if he's well— If it's a that's going to keep it in there. What if he's just well endowed? I think if he's well endowed, it changes everything. Well, then I'm looking for guys with big dicks that are passed out on doors. Yeah, but how much is that?

How often are you going to get that? I feel like that's more common than you think. Yeah, that's more common than you think. I've seen a lot of fat, drunk losers at Disney World. With big dicks. Well, I can't, that's hard. See that part, you're right. That part, that's hard.

I don't know about that. I think you're setting yourself up for disappointment. You get adhesive, you have access to every dick. I just feel like I don't need to use items, though. I don't want to use items. You know what I mean? I want to do it because adhesive is going to be like, he's going to go, somebody superglued my dick. Was it one of my kids?

Somebody did it. That's great. It's going to fuck with it. That's truly fucking great. Okay, okay. Otherwise, you're just going to be like, oh, my dick got in my ass again. Again? Yeah, this guy's great. It's going to fuck with it. That's truly fucking great. Okay, okay. Otherwise, you're just going to be like, oh, my dick got in my ass again. Again? Yeah, this guy's dick probably-

Do I follow one guy for the rest of his life and just keep tucking his dick in his ass? Yes. You're going to have to haunt this guy's dick. That's a haunting. That's a haunting I would love. This guy goes on Dr. Phil. He can't explain why his dick keeps getting put in his ass every day.

They try to do one of those sincere 60 minutes things, which I love, which is like when like 60 minutes or any of these shows takes a person. It's like what was great about the freak shows, and I think maybe liberating for some of the performers, is that you were just like, yeah, people, this is like a freak, and the people are here to see this insane thing. And there is like a community of freaks.

I think that's kind of what the comedy store is. It is. Because we're all kind of freaks. Yep. And like, we know it. And so like, there's something wonderful about that. But these days, like you take this man who is being haunted by this fucking crazy ghost who could be doing any,

you could be going to Paris. You could be like going to the great places of the world as a ghost. You're an immortal being. You could be helping people. You could be, but instead you found one man and you're just tucking his dick in his asshole

for his whole fucking life. Isn't that beautiful? There's something amazing about that. So, but you know, what I love is like you take that guy i could see the interview with his wife yeah and like no one is watching that show nobody because they feel sorry because he's this is they're watching because like holy shit hey come in here look at this crazy motherfucker he's like dick goes in his ass every night and they know how to stop it it's like ruining his marriage in his ass every night and they know how to stop it. It's like ruining his marriage. It's fucking up his colon.

They don't know what to do. He's getting infections in his dick. But they filmed it. It's coming up after the commercial. They put cameras on his ass and dick at night and look, oh my god, it looks like something's actually grabbing it and pushing it in his ass.

But they would play it all sincere yeah the interviewer would have to be like wow this is like we don't know what it is science can't explain it they've taken him to like caltech or whatever yeah yeah yeah yeah it's a movie they can't wrap their head around why this guy keeps getting his wiener in his butt it's yeah at some point he accepts it in the latter half of his life he just accepts this is a part of who he really is yeah so you know what he does what before he goes to bed he puts his own dick in his own ass and he beats me to the punch and that's it then he's learned his lesson then i then he's finally gone then that's it then he goes i'm gonna beat you i'm

gonna put my own dick in my own ass and that's all i wanted to show him oh i see that's it. Then he goes, I'm going to put my own dick in my own ass. And that's all I wanted to show him. Oh, I see. That's it. He's learned. Wow. That's beautiful. That's all this is about. You taught him so much.

That's like a huge breakthrough. It's like a breakthrough moment for him. This is like a teenage hijinks film. Wow. All I really wanted to do was show a guy that he could put his own dick in his own ass. Man, that's beautiful. That's actually really, for a second, I'm like, wow, it seems like but now I get it, man. Now you get it, yeah.

I love it. That's like an, honestly, it's like a holiday hallmark film. That's like a Lifetime movie. Yeah. Yeah. It's beautiful. It's a guy from the little town goes to the big city for the big, you know what I mean? Or is it big city goes to little town? This is the reverse. This is little town goes to the big city

of orlando orlando is big okay big and fancy oh i got it roller coasters buses but he like cuts in line or something you got to do like some why is he an asshole yeah you know what he's done he's he's printed printed fake tickets fake disney disney disney world tickets and he sells them to families this guy's a scumbag. He's a piece of shit. He deserves literally all this. He has printed off fake tickets, and he sells them to families. So I think if we're going to do the backstory of this, what happens is you are alive, and you buy one of these fake tickets,

and then you've spent the last bit of your money. $800 with my wife and my two kids to go in to Disney World. They're so happy. And you just got out of prison. Yeah, just recently. And this money, you were working for like 30 years

in a prison factory. 26 years, yeah. 26 years to save up the 800 bucks. You kept telling your wife at the end of this, your wife and your now 26-year-old kid,

you're like, I'm using this money. I'm going to take us to Disney World. It's always been my dream yeah and so you're out there this guy comes up

he's like hey don't pay full price yeah what are you doing that's for suckers I can't make it man my wife's sick let me just sell you mine

cause you know we're not gonna use them and they rip you off I won't rip you off that's it this will be half the cost so you bring the ticket

and then they don't let you in and whatever that shit that happened to you in prison activates. Hold on. Here's what happens. They don't let me in and they scan. It's a fake ticket. Yeah. And then they arrest me because they're like,

someone's producing these fake tickets. We're going to investigate. So I get arrested. Yeah. In that regard, I go back to prison. I violated my parole for trying to use false tickets right i'm back in prison and i die in prison yeah i get epstein'd in prison i get killed yeah frame it as a suicide they epstein me and as my ghost i begin to follow that man

so this guy yeah well then it gets really great because i mean this now we're getting into more like an action movie but you kind of an action film it film. It's a cabal of like fake counterfeit Orlando ticket people. Yeah. So now it's a revenge flick where you're shoving all their dicks in their ass. Everybody. Everyone that screwed me over. Yeah. You want to fuck him over?

Now he's going to fuck you. Yeah. He's going to tug your dick in your ass. In here we pour whiskey. This episode of Whiskey Ginger is also brought to you by Buffalo Trace. Buff Trace, the only bourbon with balls. I've been pushing this stuff for a long time on this show, and I also love when fans send in pictures of drinking some of the sweet sauce,

because you know I love it. On this very episode, we were having some Blantons and some Eagle Rare, some of their top-tier stuff, which I love. They've been pushing out the good sauce since 1773. It's fiercely and independently owned out of Franklin County, Kentucky. Their Buffalo Trace is made in-house. It is stored in their barrels. They don't do it anywhere else but here in the U.S. of A.

We love this stuff, man. It's nice and strong. It's got a great kick to it. And also, it challenges all these other big corporations because they do it on their own without somebody wrangling them down, telling them what they need to do. Go grab yourself a bottle of Buffalo Trace while you enjoy this beautiful, wonderful episode. Sip it. Tag us. Post us. Let us know that you're enjoying it as well. I'm a traveling man.

Made a lot of stops all over the world. I don't know if I can sing that because I might get sued, but I am a traveling man. If you're like me and you're always on the road, always on the move, you need to get yourself an Away suitcase. Away is awesome, dude. I see so many people using this now. Away is more than an Away suitcase. Away is awesome, dude. I see so many people using this

now. Away is more than just a suitcase. It is a lightweight, durable shell that's made to last a lifetime of travel. It has a 100-day trial, lets you just give it a whirl. It comes with, in certain forms, a charger, which is perfect to plug your phone in because we're always losing power on the go. 360-degree spinner wheels. You can wheel it all over the place if you want to get fancy and dance in the airport. These are incredible, man. I really am such a big proponent of pushing stuff that I also use, and I use away. You can see me at any airport using it because I think I'm always trying to find the most convenient,

durable, and accessible thing to get from city to city to city. You need to experience it yourself. You can try it for free if you'd like. It's durable and hard. It's got two separate sections that zip. Keep everything separated, neat, and organized. And if you're interested in doing this, you should be because it's for the youth. Got a nice travel charger in there for your iPhone or whatever Android you're using.

Go to awaytravel.com slash whiskey. Put in that promo code whiskey, baby, during the checkout. You're going to get yourself $20 off a suitcase by once again going to awaytravel.com slash whiskey. Throw in the promo code whiskey and let them know what's up. A lot of you might be listening to this podcast right now in something comfy. If you like comfy lounge around clothes, something durable and delicious, Mack Weldon is the company. They're the most comfortable underwear, socks, shirts, undershirts, hoodies, sweatpants that you'll ever wear. I promise you. When I talked on the Rogan podcast about getting food poisoning, I was wearing Mack Weldon clothes that I threw up in. That's a real fact.

And they were great. They helped me through a very tough time. I'm not going to lie. And I washed them and the puke came right out by the way. But they don't only just do underwear. They do socks and shirts, sweatpants. They do all sorts of stuff now. People just know them as an underwear company. They're more than that. Okay. Mack Weldon does make some phenomenal stuff, including underwear, but not just exclusive too. I enjoyed it. I really do like their sweats and their throwover workout shirts. Their athletic shirts are daily wear as well. It's my kind of stuff

when I'm traveling, especially because I like to just throw something on, have it be loose and comfortable and also warm. You know, because it's really difficult when you're on the move trying to do 50,000 different things. You just want to feel comfy. I highly recommend Mack Weldon. They are super dope.

And go ahead and go to MackWeldon.com. Enter the promo code whiskey. You're going to get 20% off your first order if you go there and do that. Holler at them. If you like it, when you wear it, tag me. Let them know the Whiskey Ginger podcast sent you over there. Show us some love. Go to MackWeldon.com. Type in the promo code whiskey. Get 20% off your first order. go to macweldon.com type in the promo code whiskey get 20 off your first order ginger i like gingers but this is a weird parallel thought but i uh what we fly so much as comics do you ever think when turbulence hits the plane that that's literally like forces doing that just to like check you a little bit whoa now for some reason i feel like i'm like why that's got to be like that's that there's this weird i know it's not but every time i'm like

why does turbulence happen in very specific chunks and they almost happen the way you exactly how you think they're going to happen right like when you feel a few small ones and then you know there's going to be one big one and then a few more small ones after that. It's almost like the pattern is planned. It's very creepy. The worst turbulence I ever experienced on a plane was when fucking Rogan took me to the UK to do a show with him because the UFC was in the UK. Right. The UFC flew him first class

on Air France. I've never experienced that. Is it one of those like you can lay down and all that shit? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, man. It's like they drive you to the plane. There's a secret lounge

where Robin Williams walked in for a second and like for a second you just before he killed himself or after this is after dude we're talking ghosts right yeah he walked in and tucked both of our dicks in our asses weirdly i didn't mention it he was like oh i gotta mark and mindy shit but you're not gonna say no it's robin williams ghost yeah why would you say no but this so we hit we're over the ocean and i have taken some crazy edible and so i am as high as you can be yeah do you like that on planes no hate it it was a huge mistake i do not get high on planes anymore but it seemed like ah it's a comfortable seat they give you slippers nope you're looking around you're like for a second you are witnessing

you know something like the illuminati it's like people you know because i'm like when i've got a bag of shit that comes with a seat yeah i'm like holy fuck toothpaste you? Socks? Yeah, they blessed you. They blessed you with these items. Yeah, pajamas. But then you're looking. I'm like, holy, what the fuck is this? Then you look over and there's some guy who definitely looks like he could turn into a reptile.

And he's just like, oh yeah, time to put on my flight pajamas. You know, it's like no big deal for him. That's what you do. You put on your flight pajamas. Very normal. That level of insane crazy wealth but yeah we hit this fucking like ocean turbulence hard and somewhere in there i'm high and i'm like maybe joe is satan right it kind of makes sense you know like he's lured me into maybe he does this every maybe this is one of the things he just does in hell is he like you like takes you into

this beautiful place and then just the plane crashes and you just you you know crazy thoughts like is it well why did you think you deserve this what in your mind did you really imagine this made sense? This is what you got? Yeah. Fair France, first class with Rogan, with your fucking plain pajamas and shit. You thought this was real. Come on. God is going to take you out right now. You're like, the simulator is going to annihilate you. You're out of your level.

And then in like a thick fucking French accent, which I can't do. Do it. Try it though. M accent which I can't do. Try it though. Mothers. I can't do it. Mothers. Mothers. Mothers. Mothers.

Mothers. I can't do it. Mothers. Mothers. Mothers. Hold your infants. Mothers hold your infants. That's what he said.

He said it. Mothers hold your infants. Yes. Hold your infants. Ding, ding. Weird bells. Ding, ding, ding. Mothers hold. And you're like, hold your infants. Yes. Hold your infants. Ding, ding. Weird bells. Ding, ding, ding. Mothers, hold.

And you're like, oh my God. This is not good. People are sleeping and he's waking them up telling mothers to hold their infants. I'm thinking about this fucking awful book that I saw. I didn't buy it, but it's like the transcripts from Black Boxes. Oh, fuck. Yuck, yuck, yikes. By the way, the phrase mothers hold your infants sounds like it's one of those things that's on a black box before Oh, fuck. Yuck, yuck, yikes. Yo.

And by the way, the phrase mothers hold your infants sounds like it's one of those things that's on a black box before it goes. It is. I'm sure it is. Mothers hold your infants? Yeah, mothers hold your infants

so that you're holding them when you crash into the ocean. But then... Yeah, man. There's one in that book. One is very sad, which is the pilot just started singing lullabies.

Over the PA system? Yep. As the plane was going down the pilot just started singing lullabies. Over the PA system? Yep. As the plane was going down, he just started singing lullabies. What do you think your instinct would be if you were piloting a plane and it's literally going down and you know it's crashing? What's your instinct? You're a pilot. It's you.

And the co-pilot is crying. He has no idea what to do. He's lost. The plane's crashing? It's literally, there's no chance of pulling out. This is it. I would say, guys, we're done here. Very casual. Guys, we're done here of pulling out this is it i would say guys this is we're done here very casual guys we're done here hey this is uh your pilot guys we're done here

hey gang hey fellas um we're done we're done here i would so i would be torn between being like well i would want to be honest with everyone because it's like you know they deserve to know they're all about to die yeah why don't they give us more honest approach? When they say like, we're going to experience a little bit of chop. Why can't they just go, hey, over Iowa, it's going to be shit. I'm going to be real with you. It's going to suck. Yeah. Okay?

Yeah. We're going to get out of that by the time we hit Illinois. And after that, smooth sailing almost until we get to New York. We might hit some more fucked up shit. I wish they would just get on and talk about it. I would love to be talked through. Wouldn't it be cool to be talked through turbulence? Like, I think you could just get on and talk about i would love to be talked through wouldn't be cool to be talked through turbulence like if they could just get on and be like whoa that sucked right fuck that listen we're gonna keep this moving yeah it'd be awesome it'd be

also cool if there's a like you could choose what channel you dialed into on the plane which is like you want hyper formality where we're like oh we're gonna get some turbulence do you want like to choose which version you want to hear. That would be fucking wonderful. So the pilot is like, oh, yeah, this fucking sucks. I've been this climate change probably. I don't know what it is, but it was never like this when I was a kid. I'll tell you that.

And that being said, that means we don't know what's going to happen. That's cool. That's kind of what I would want to hear. Fucking golf ball size hail could easily just smash through the window right now. Ruin this whole thing. We're all dead. We plummet down and we're dead. I don't know what's going to happen.

P.S. You know how much I get paid? Shit, baby. I just want you to know that. Shit money. Shit, baby. And I don't feel good. Just so you know.

I don't feel great. I don't want to be up here anyway. So I just want you to know I'm not going to crash the plane. But I'm not going to. If it's going, it's going, kiddo. Yeah. If this is my time, then this is my time and i'm at peace with that very realistic channel yeah it's a very just realistic chat do you what if there was a um

what if you could tune into one of those for your daily life what if there was some sort of like headphones you could put in that was telling you what's going to go on in your daily life and give you the real breakdown that'd be great yeah like listen man this next thing is gonna suck you just got to get through it it's not that big of a deal. Just get through it. If it coasts you through it. Well, that's one of the things I fucking love about Buddhism is that one of the invitations in it is just stop trying to change for a second. And so it's an interesting thing.

Just be, right? Yeah. Yeah. It's basically like just the truth of suffering. So sort of, it's like, and I mean, I'm not very good at doing it because I always want to feel better if I'm like that. Do you think anybody's really good at doing it? Yeah. Happy people. Well, see, but you say that, but don't we all, don't we continually kind of have this comparison of others' happiness and in some regard we're all kind of hunting for a higher level of happiness and satisfaction? Don't you think most people are that way?

Yes. So who is ultimately happy? Well, what's so paradoxical about the whole thing is that the moment, like when, I guess the best way to put it is, have you ever gotten in a huge fight with your wife and you wake up the next morning, you haven't resolved the fight, but when you wake up, you forget that you got in a fight. Do you know what I mean? Like some awful thing happens. You wake up in the morning. You don't remember the awful thing at all.

You're just laying in bed. And in that millisecond before your like biocomputer boots up, you feel like wonderful. Like it's just like there's a sense of like, whoa, this is great. Like you're alive. You're just existing. It's before you even know where you're at. It's before you even know who you are.

There's just this sense of like, ah. And then all of a sudden you remember. And you're like, oh, God, oh, God, oh, no, oh, no, no, no. But right before that happens, ah, this is nice. Yeah, there's a moment of peace. That's what you are. That's what you are. That's what you are. So that's like the fundamental nature of you. And then a story appears that you're telling yourself.

And in that story, there's all the suffering and pain. So the idea is like before all that kicks in, you're wonderful. And then the other stuff starts kicking in. So now we have anxiety or whatever. We have fear, you're wonderful. And then the other stuff starts kicking in. So now we have anxiety or whatever. We have fear, anger, whatever. But then what's really interesting is if you don't resist any of that for a second and you just look at the anxiety, you look at the anger, you look at whatever it may be, feel it, you realize it's a perfect feeling. The anxiety is perfect. The anger is perfect. The sadness is perfect. When you really look at how incredible it is that your body is just effortlessly manifesting perfect anxiety, this like resonant, real feeling, it would – like imagine if you had to make it yourself.

Like if you had to do it, you know, you had to make the anxiety. You couldn't. It's so perfect. No, yeah, you couldn't do it you know you had to you had to make the anxiety you couldn't it's so perfect no yeah you couldn't produce it stunning and then if you look at like the thoughts that are then begin to surround the anxiety the horror stories you're telling yourself the vividness of it it's like holy fuck i must be some kind of genius that my mind can just instantly shit out hyper realistic prognostications for some kind of dark future with me exerting no effort at all, but with a kind of realism that if it was on a canvas, people would think I was one of the great painters of all time, and my mind just spitting it out,

no problem at all. So when you really start looking at the individual pieces of the suffering, you realize each individual piece is perfect. It couldn't be more amazing. It's startlingly beautiful, even in its worst, like even the worst configurations. And so then within that, in Buddhism, the diagnosis is like, yeah, really the problem is just more that you're resisting the feeling than the feeling itself. You know what I mean? That you're trying to get out of it. Right. You want it to change.

You're wanting to not be there anymore. We don't like sitting in it. That's it. Yeah. We just don't like sitting in it. Yeah. It's hard for us for some reason. Really, really hard.

Because it's instinctual, right? That's instinct. That's got to be instinct-based. That people are uncomfortable with their own discomfort. Yeah. They don't know how to live with their own, they don't know how to be uncomfortable

even though they've created it. Yes. That's my, I want to like, so if like, something is malfunctioning, I want to fix it now. Right now. Within the next 10 minutes. Right now. Now. I want to fix it now. Right now.

Within the next 10 minutes. Right now. Now. I want to come up with a plan, and then I want to change it right then. And so you get reactive in that way because it's just hard not just to sit in the pain, but just to sit in insecurity and not knowing. To not do anything is almost even harder. That's almost more challenging.

That's why it's so hard to be at peace with oneself because you're like, I have to change this. I have to fix all this stuff. I feel that all the time. I feel an overwhelming sense of I have to do it right now. If I don't get it done right now, I'm going to have a fucking panic attack. Yeah. And she's the opposite.

She's more like the old bag, my old ball and chain, the old anchor, you know what I mean? The old slag, the old slosh bucket. Shut the fuck up. No, she's more balanced in the idea that she's fine with it. That it's like, yeah, just, you know, we'll figure it out. I'm more, I'm pure panic. I'm more like, if I can't get this done.

I'm so far away from being a Buddhist. I wish I could learn more about how to calm. You know, I learned about SRF. That I liked. Her dad's into that. What is that? Self-real to calm. I learned about SRF. That I liked. Her dad's into that. What is that? Self-Realization Fellowship. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Paramahansa Yogananda. Sure. The original. Yeah, I read some of that. Probably the hardest, thickest read I've ever had in my entire life. It's just extremely arduous. It's just so thick. It's kind of like I'm reading this book right now. My neighbor gave me called At Swim Two Birds, and it's impossible. I mean, it's so hard.

What is the book? who lives with his alcoholic uncle trying to go back to university. And it's just this very deep, dark, rich, thick, divulgent essay. You know what I mean? But yeah, you have to really dig through it to find little wonderful pieces. I have to read things like five times. I haven't had that in a long time.

We have to re-read, re-read, re-read, re-read. That's cool. Yeah, it's heavy. It's fun when you're high because at least when I'm high, I can read it slower. When I'm sober, I'm trying to rip through it. I find that when I'm sober, I'm trying to read a book to try to get through it.

It's odd. I'm just trying to do it because I'm like, I want to get it. I want to go to the next page. Right. All the goddamn high school, elementary school conditioning, which is rewarding you for finishing books. Go, finish, go finish close it go not even understanding or anything or really paying attention yeah i'm kind of absorbing some of it you know what i mean it's almost like uh when i'm sober and i read any anything really not just books but like articles or things online that i'm like trying to like sift through when i'm sober or you you know, in complete, you know, without chemical space, it's almost like a 99-cent store paper towel.

Like I'm getting a good amount of it, but there's a lot left behind. God, I love reading stone, man. Yes, it's so wonderful. Reading stone is like wiping up a milk spill with a fucking beach towel. You know, it's like I'm going to get all of it. Like I'm going to get all of it like i'm gonna get i'm gonna get all of it there'll be nothing left behind yeah it's like so much more consumable for some reason when i'm high it's beautiful yeah it really is man i'm a big i'm a big proponent of that some

people like working out stone we've talked about this but like i i like small things high i like writing or reading high i cannot do physical activity high really just, it's not in my wheelhouse. I've talked about it before. It's just, I'm the, please, please, please, please. That's why I brought it. This is Blanton's. This is good. This is some of the good sauce, baby. Are we having a good time? Yeah. Yeah. I can't do physical activity high and I've talked about it before, but it's not, it's not for me. I want to, I want to change to something else. You took, we've talked about this. You took somewhat of a small break from stand-up or from comedy you said not a small break i took a huge break from stand-up well you but like

on the scale of comedy maybe not right like well not to you or to the community feels big to me it felt big right it'd be nice if it felt big to the community my assessment of most comedians would be like well maybe they noticed but i don't know if anybody i think i think comics do i think comics notice sweet but i also think people assume when you take a break from comedy yeah it's for your own well-being yes right you're so like i i almost always find the one thing that's i mean the comedy community is incredible people know fans have kind of the people that are listening that kind of listen to a lot of comics they kind of, the people that are listening, that kind of listen to a lot of comics, they kind of understand that like, it's a tough fucking game. That's right.

So when someone goes away for a little while, the first assumption is, they probably need to go away. Yeah. It's not like, what the fuck, man? Fuck that. Back in the,

yeah, bitch. No, it's never that. It's more like they, fans assume, you just need that time. Like, he or she needs the time. Whatever the reasoning, family, personal.

I think it's so nice to be this connected to fans in this generation because now they understand. I think 20 years ago, that wasn't as clear. That it was just like, what the fuck, bro? I mean, even what, 10, 15 years ago when Chappelle went away, they called him a crackhead. That's right. Can you believe that?

He needed a little bit of self-preservation, and they called him a crackhead. That's right. Can you believe that? He needed a little bit of self-preservation, and they called him a crackhead. That's right. They said he was smoking crack. Yeah. I mean, first of all, pretty on the nose racist. Oh, yeah, right. The behind the scenes of that was just so disgusting. Why wouldn't it be some other drug?

Right, why crack? Why wouldn't it be painkillers? Why wouldn't it be morphine, opium? Or weed or booze, the things he actually really does love. Yeah. He loves alcohol and he likes smoking weed. Yeah. Why crack?

Why'd you jump to crack? Because that bothered me. I never made that connection. It bothered the shit out of me. You're fucking right. That's so lame. I can hear some fucking dipshit being like, well, that's because he's probably a fucking crackhead like i can just

hear idiots saying that and then getting resonated in like uninformed ways that you're like no this is that's just do you not know that that's phony rhetoric that got pushed out that you just bought in like fuck i did no one check in to find out if that was real it's like how fucked up to just be like he's a crackhead like anyway when he left and and took a trip to africa by the way just because he wanted to you know they were like why africa you're like why the fuck not that's right yeah i i that's such an annoying why would they go there why wouldn't they dude they have the ability to do so what a what a what a great advantage anyway that's only 15 years ago and they called him a crazy person yeah so when you went away you took some time off

you you you took what you say is a big time what was your what was the honest moment that you realized you wanted to take some time off and go away and why oh that's a great question it was so i started realizing it when i was in new York, and I realized that I was not – like, some of those fucking New York comics are such hard workers. They are. They're prolific. They're focused. They love comedy. Like, they're purists.

You run into some purists in New York. Big time. They're purists. You run into some purists in New York. Big time. And I think what started happening there is I began to realize how much I was taking comedy for granted. I realized how lucky I'd gotten. I realized how special the stage was. And I realized that because my mind was not connecting with it in a way where I was loving it and that my material was not up to where I wanted it to be and the shit I was writing I wasn't that interested in

and I was writing out of a sense of desperation or fear. I just didn't like what I was saying up there. All these things started connecting to where I just realized, like, this is not the kind of standup I want to be doing. These audiences deserve people who love what they're fucking doing. And God damn it, if I'm taking like 11 minutes or 15 minutes or whatever the time is in New York away from a comic who's really in love with the art form at the time so I could get up there and regurgitate jokes that I've been doing forever that was to me it seemed kind of unethical it

seemed like really not cool to the audience it seemed disrespectful to the fucking art form of stand-up it seemed to fly in the face of like a lot of the comics I love who taught me stuff. And so it wasn't a sudden decision, but that was how I was feeling. Then my dad passed away, and that hit me pretty hard. But then I had a baby at the same time. And then another thing I can't talk about happened. It's a great thing that people find out about soon enough yeah so all these things intersected and it was like oh well

i've got some excuse really good excuses to take a fucking break from doing stand-up and and then i just took a break and i uh not not to cut you off. I'm interested, though. Please. When you started having this lull in your writing and or performance, you knew your father was going to pass away. And was that present in the reason that perhaps that's why your comedy was suffering? No, that wasn't. That was... It was, you know, a lot of things were sort of... Converging at once.

Converging at once. And it just was like, but all that bullshit aside, man, it was just I wasn't being funny. I wasn't funny. I don't know how to explain it except it was what I felt like I was being mediocre. Right. And I was not putting the time into it that I'm putting into it now, and my heart wasn't,

my heart wasn't in it. And it was just like, it was embarrassing and it was not right. And so I don't know how to, I, you, I think you're saying it. I know, I know it's frustrating to try to say, but I know what you're saying. Like, I understand. Um, I, like, I understand what you're saying because it's, we all had these lulls and moments and yours was heavy. Heavy, man. And it was just so heavy that, I'm not gonna say the comedian's name, just out of respect,

but I remember when I first started comedy, I was waiting in line for Last Comic Standing outside of the Hollywood Improv, sleeping on Melrose Avenue outside of Fred Siegel. Yeah. And it was maybe the second season or something. I don't even remember what it was.

And then this comedian, she said, she had kind of been around for a while at that time. Like I had known her from, she had done stuff before and she was waiting in line behind us. And she said, you know, I took two years off when my brother died because I was so unfunny that it was rude to pretend that I was a stand-up comedian anymore.

And I was like, wow, did you think you were going to quit forever? And she was like, no. But I just knew I just needed to not do comedy right then. Fuck yeah. It was kind of a weird awakening because I was just getting to the beginning of my career. And back then, I was like,

fuck that shit, dude. Like, what do you mean, dude? Once you quit, you're gone. Because I was young. I really did feel dude. What do you mean, dude? Once you quit, you're gone. Because I was young. I really did feel that way. I remember thinking that. It could be that way. Well, but in retrospect, now that I'm older and a little bit more informed,

both in life and in comedy, it makes more sense than anything I've ever experienced in comedy. Sometimes life happens, and you have to figure out what your adjustment levels are for your professional life and your career like there's a balance that people don't understand that we also have to be humans and be comics and i think that when these things are coexisting it's hard to fucking admit that you want to not do something anymore. Well, the thing is, it's not hard if you're not a comedian. Sure, right.

It's fucking hard if you're a comedian. Yeah. But to me, if you can stop doing stand-up, then you're probably not a comic. Right. Period. If you can really just stop and you just, it's over, and you're not going to do it anymore, then that's, to me, a victorious realization

because it's like you have freed yourself from an endeavor that was bringing you no joy. Right. And more importantly, you've freed the audiences from witnessing a fraud. And these are really more importantly, you freed up stage time for people who are spending the night in front of fucking clubs because they love it that much. Right. These are all really good decisions to make. And I knew in my mind, I was like, if I stop doing this and I don't want to do it anymore, then that's okay.

Right. I don't mind fully admitting like, oh yeah, that wasn't for me. I don't know why I was into that shit. And I was prepared for that. But really the reality was a bunch of shit happened in my life that was incredibly stressful, incredibly heartbreaking, and that produced a good time to not do stand-up. And then now I fucking love it. If I don't call into the store, I'm like, holy fucking shit. if I don't call into the store, I'm like, holy fucking shit.

If I have to fucking cancel now, which I had to do because I was sick, I'm like, fuck, fuck, fuck. Do I just go in there sick as fuck? I just want to do it. I want to just do it. And that's what it used to be like for me. And now it's happening. Now it's that way again, thank God. And it's wonderful, and I'm writing again, and I have all new jokes,

and it's like great, but there's no way I could have gotten there by fucking just getting on stage like a zombie, like someone stuck in some horrific loop, like some, literally like someone who wandered out of a senior citizen's home or something and was just muttering the same 15, like someone with a head injury. Is that the car accident guy?

He's back. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You don't, if you're like, I remember like if like something came up where the spot wasn't happening or I would be happy. That's not good. That's a bad place to be. That's a bad place to be.

Bad place to be. You're not working in a fucking factory, man. You're not like, this is like, this is like a beautiful thing that you get to be a part of by some crazy stroke of luck. And so anyway, so I agree with you, man. I think like in any pursuit that involves creativity and art, you need to find, well, there's a saying in Buddhism that I love, not too tight, not too loose.

So it's like if you, with comedy, if you get poverty mentality not just about money but about the abundance of your imagination to produce jokes right and you start trying to like squeeze jokes out of the asshole of your brain like you're constipated you know what i mean and you're just like and now you're writing fucking stupid jokes about shit you saw on Twitter or whatever. And stuff that you don't really even find funny. Yeah. That's what happens. You'll start writing stuff that you yourself read back and go, that's not funny.

I know that's not funny. What, am I going to fucking sell them this product? And even worse, you're not interested in it. Yeah, not even a little bit. At the very least, be interested in the shit up there that you're talking about. Right, because they can smell it on you. Yeah. Isn't it weird when you say a shitty, when you are saying shitty, worthless jokes, they can smell it on you.

It's like you radiate the bullshit. They know. Yeah, as much as people say, like, someone's like, oh, you think audiences are dumb or smart, or are they getting smarter or dumber? I will say this. I don't give a fuck how smart or educated the audience is. People instinctively feel your bullshit. You could be the best salesman around, the sociopath genius of being able to manipulate someone's emotions. When you're telling a joke that you yourself don't find that funny, they can fucking tell.

They can tell. They could be the most blank-minded, empty-headed idiot, and they could tell that you don't really think it's that funny. Oh, yeah. Even if they don't care. If the crux of the joke is something they wouldn't even get in a thousand years, they can just tell in their being that it's like, this guy doesn't fucking think that's funny. He doesn't think he's funny.

Yeah. It's remarkable that is the determining factor to me over being a stand-up who's really like putting the effort in and someone that's kind of waning through or or kind of like sitting in it it's really strange when you're like kind of just sitting in it to be in it for a little bit and do it you can feel feel it. That's why when someone's like, the thing, quote unquote, like the, oh, he's got, she's got the thing. The thing is just being able to buy into your own shit. You have to buy your shit. Like, if I'm not eating it,

why the fuck am I feeding it to these people? What a weird world, you know? Why would I, yeah, that's fucked up. It's like the old, the idea of why you cheers a glass. You know, you would cheers a glass to have your beer spill in my beer in case you poisoned me you know that was kind of an old really that's an old adage yeah that because everything was wood so wood would smash hard and not break right glass would crack now but you would

smash beer to make sure that someone that poured you a drink or a beer wasn't diluted or poisoned or have any that's why you look people in the eye to to make sure they're not a liar crazy Crazy. Yeah, you use the cheers to make sure people aren't full of shit. Now this may be an old, you know, what are those called? You know, like social adage

or something or whatever. But whether or not that's true, that's the same kind of idea. If I'm not believing it, why the fuck do I think that, why would I think you're gonna believe it? Right. The hardest part in comedy, by the way,

is to make sure that all of your shit, for me personally, I guess, I shouldn't speak for, but the way, is to make sure that all of your shit, for me personally, I guess, I shouldn't speak for, but the hardest thing is to make sure that I really do think that's fucking funny. Because if I don't think it's funny, I promise I can't sell it. If I think it's funny, I sell the shit out of it. I'm a fucking genius salesman if I really like it. Yeah.

You know what I mean? Yeah. Like sell an Eskimo, an icicle. You know what I mean? Sure. I could do it if I buy it. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, sell an Eskimo an icicle. You know what I mean? Sure. Like, I could do it if I buy it. Yeah. But if I don't, nope, get ready.

Get ready to watch me know in front of you it's bad. Right. Yeah, that's right. And when you came back, when you finally decided you want to, what was the spark? What was the impetus to be like, I feel like I need to do this now? Right.

Well, I realized that I was ready to get back on stage, but I wasn't getting on stage because I didn't want to get on stage. It's Morse code. Hello? No, it's Morse code. It just said everything's okay. I have a private jet flyover once in a while. Oh, it's sendingse code hello no it's morse code that it just said everything's okay oh i have a private jet flyover once in a while oh and send me morse code to find out what's going on in our neighborhood

yeah those are cool man those are important too cost me seven hundred thousand dollars fucking expensive it's really a rip-off but you know things are okay now that's the relief the relief that washes through you knowing i feel fine you're fine i feel fine i feel fine the impetus was so suddenly i began to realize that my not getting on stage was no longer my lack of inspiration to go on stage but fear right now i was not going on stage because i knew that i would be punished by the gods of comedy and i would have have to eat shit. I would have to eat big fucking buckets of hot fucking summer diarrhea. Hot, warmed up diarrhea. Yeah. And I knew that.

And so I knew that I was going to have to more than likely deal with that level of deep humiliation. And because I had not done, I had not been working out and I was going to go to the comedy store and which is a place for like champion level comedians. Yeah. It's the pinnacle ring. It's like the top tier.

Yeah. And I would have to go there and fucking eat shit. So then I started, then I realized, oh, cool. Now I'm just being a coward instead of being a fraud and that was pretty cool because it's like okay awesome i'm just scared now because i don't want to eat shit and then luckily i have an amazing very supportive wife who was like just go and she just started telling me every week you just call in. Just call in. Just do it. And then I did

it. Thank God. And they gave me spots again. Thank God. And then it wasn't what you would call comedy special level material because it was all fucking brand new shit. But it was a delight. It was wonderful. And it felt good. And it worked. And it felt good to

be home and hanging out with you. We've got to hang out there and hanging out with the comics and the community and being back in the place it's just so vibrant and alive and now my heart feels good again i feel okay again and it's like oh cool i'm a comic i just my dad died i got freaked out and like yeah and that that's the best because it is important you know you can separate comedy as the art form that it is, and that's true. But it's also the community. It's also the whole thing, the connections. Standing in the hallway with like Whitney Cummings and Jeff Garland,

they're helping me punch up a fucking joke just on the fly. And you're like, this is, I am in heaven. How do I, this is the best thing ever. That is one of those things i mean listen more to whitney than jeff but but yes but definitely she has a great joke she's phenomenal man but that in itself is what i'm talking about the joke of the jokes that we get to have with one another is so fun to be able to like yes those things are so what makes that place the thing yeah well i'm happy you're you're i'm happy you're back i think it's

i think it's when i the first time i saw you come back and you're i'm happy you're back i think it's i think it's when i the first time i saw you come back and do comedy i don't even know how long ago it was but i was sitting in the room with eget uh watching you and i was like it's so fun to watch you specifically but the reason that i was enjoying it was because the difference in personalities that go up on that stage yeah it's so unique that's i know from like joey diaz to you to jessel nick to me yeah to dalia to like none of these people have anything really comedically in common other than being funny yeah no that's it and that that's the great job that adam's doing because that was mitzi's when i was a talent coordinator there man that was like really one of her focuses was how do we make this the most diverse show?

Not diverse in the way like – In race. It didn't have to be race. It was just diverse in comedy. No, she meant like, literally like the way comics dress, the way they look, the shit that she would know the shit they were going through. Yeah. You know, or like, you know, and she also understood the conflicts comics have there and how fun, she thought it was funny to take comics who are fighting and make them bring

each other up. Yes. If you were to break up. Adam does that sometimes. It's one of the funniest things you can do. Well, like, Brendan and I had, like, this weird bullshit beef that we've squashed, and it's gone. We talked about it on the show and all this.

I had him on the show to talk about it. Which Brendan? Neil Brendan. Oh, Neil Brendan. You guys had a thing? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Damn it. The fans know.

I fucking went over it, like, hardcore. But Brendan and I butted heads, and we talked about it pretty openly on the podcast over why and why we've since resolved and everything's okay again but adam would fucking make me bring him bring me up or vice versa that's great yeah it was why and he knew and he would just kind of was like i don't know man those are the good slots you're getting the good times but i knew he knew you know what i mean like he knew but i was also like you could move me one down it's still in the best time slot that i'm getting i was getting i'm getting phenomenal time slots you know it's like you can move me one away but he wanted it to sit

a little bit and by the way i will tell you um it made me a stronger comic yeah it was crazy because vindictively i wanted to perform so hard when i would go up after him like i wanted i wanted to murder you know what i mean not not to like blow him out of the water or anything i just wanted to make sure that i still shined as a comedian because of my insecurity of our fights our fight was bullshit and i was angry at the fact that i lost a friend so i was mad i wanted to crush yeah and i fucking would i would go on and i felt on top of the world and it wasn't a fuck you to him at all it was a testament of my own like frustration and ability to use that to fuel whatever i was writing or whatever was going on so i think it

was extremely divisive on adam's behalf but but good it wasn't like i never went up there was like fuck neil or i know it's never like we, he always gave me great intros. It's not like he used any of that negatively towards me. That's the one thing you could fucking hate the next person at the, at the store. You could literally be like that person's a bad person who I don't enjoy. I'm still going to bring them on with as much professionalism as I have anyone else. Yes. To me, that's one of the, like, you have to do that. Yep. And I don't, like,

apply many rules to comedy. Right. Most don't exist. But God damn it. Yeah. When you bring up the next fucking comic, you better make it seem

like Jesus Christ is coming back. Because it's like, at that point, it's not, whoever you have beef with or don't have beef with or you don't like their comedy, whatever the fuck it is, it's not them.

It's a comic that's coming on stage in front of an audience. To perform. And that fucking audience got babysitters, and that audience is paying a two-drink minimum. People are on a fucking date, and they took a risk on a date to a comedy show. You don't know what's going to fucking happen. So that audience is like really the sum total of all the energy that went into the, you know how it is when you're married. Date nights are important, man.

Yeah, they must. And then you add a fucking kid to that. And so you've finally gotten out of the house for a second, maybe the first time out of the house since you had the baby. Yeah. That's a big night. baby yeah that's a big night so you're bringing the next comic up for them in that spirit which is like i know you guys it wasn't easy to get out here here's an amazing fucking comic and then if the comic bombs or whatever it's on them it's on them right but it had nothing to do with your shitty thing i hate that man yeah when a comic brings somebody up in a this just a slightly

snarky fucking way unless they're doing a character yeah and if they're if things are different if you're doing a character yeah different if it's a character we know when that we know when the difference is yes you know when someone is being defiant just because like you know when someone is you know when someone's just like uh who who is it and they bring them like uh i hope you like this guy uh he's what uh this is uh bob uh bob weiner you know i mean like it's so rude it's it's like saying i don't give a fuck about anybody but myself and you shouldn't even care about these guys other than me you should only care about me i don't give a fuck if i've never met you

it's the same as if i hated you if i had blank feelings about you i'm still gonna go oh shit oh this next comic phenomenal yeah yeah but it's not it's not me being dishonest to the audience it's me setting the comic up to achieve what they've worked hard for it's just being like hey i'm giving you the ability to run through now if you fall well that's on you that's on you but i want to pass the baton well you know what i mean that's that's how they get you fucking do you ever run track have you ever run track yeah like the relays are fucking by the way it's they're impossible relays are so hard to do it's so whenever i if i like whenever i see it in the olympics and shit you're like

just running is the challenge how can you outrun other people right that's the challenge when you add a fucking device to it that you have to that you have to hand to someone and they have to time your speed with their speed and they have to begin running at a certain distance so they can catch to you. I never thought of that. It is a bananas technique. It is a crazy, some weirdo was like, and what if they had to pass off a thing? And you don't just stand there and wait to get it

you have to start running and they have to get it within your rhythm of your you got new speed they've got old speed they're dying down on their part you're just beginning so that to me is that that's kind of the metaphor for handing a baton off to the next comic is like you have to match you know your end of you're done with your set but you still have to just kick it into fucking fifth gear so you can hand this off so they can fucking start up the ramp yeah that's right man yeah yeah that is what you just said is really trippy to me only because like that baton handing thing yeah on a symbolic level is really cool because like that's one of the crazy things about stand-up and the way so so it's like stand-up comedy is a very pure i like the comedy store because it's like the purest form of university there could be which is that you don't apply you don't send in a fucking thing you don't have a gpa they don't

care about your credits they do a little bit but like i know because i've talked to adam about people i have great fucking credits and he's just like you know let me show you something i remember once i was trying there was someone a friend of mine he's got great credits fucking funny person too but he's like i want to show you something i've got three three spots maybe that i can and then like he was like telling me the comics that wanted those spots i mean these are people who are like sell at carnegie hall and shit yeah you know what i mean it's like but it's not just that he's got he's he's thank christ honoring mitzi's system which is there's also people there who no one's heard of yet yeah and they have to be heard to developed and they have to be so it's like the way you get in there is mysterious it's different for

everybody yeah everyone's got a funny story about how it happened yeah and i love that about that place which is just such a pure fucking thing. But then the other thing that happens there is really beautiful, too, because it's like you don't get a professor, but you might get like somebody like Rogan or some successful comic sees you and thinks, shit, I think that person I think that person's funny. Yeah. And then they just start hanging out with you or talking to you or just whatever. And then they start passing the baton in this fascinating way. And so you see this, and you see the very same thing in spiritual communities. You see the very same thing in all kinds of communities where it's like, and I love what you said about having to sync up, because it's like, if you're a really good mentor, you don't expect someone

to be where you're at. No. You sync up with where they're at and then like figure out a way to like pass the baton to them in a way. In the right time. At the right time.

Right. That honors them and also respects the fact they might run with that baton in a completely different way. Right. But that's cool, man. That's a really beautiful.

Pass the motherfucking baton. Pass the baton if you can. Cheers to passing the baton in a completely different way right but that's cool man that's a really beautiful pass the motherfucking baton pass the baton if you can cheers to passing the baton passing the baton dude this is uh this has been wonderful yeah man thanks for having me on i'm so happy that you can honestly this was like i'm being genuine i don't i haven't said this the reason that i was so excited to have you on is because you're one of these people that I can have fun with and be goofy and then get deep and very real and then go right back into goofy. And I feel like that's the rhythm that I enjoy the most.

And you've got a great comedy brain and a great human, regular, deep, caring brain. And these things that come together make me want to have sex with you. We'll do it, man. We can't. Dude, I can't, man. Well, what? She's home. So? Shut up. She's home. She'll like it. They love that.

So, plug, are you going out on the road or anything like that? Yeah. Say it, baby. So my first set out on the road is going to be happening. It's late January at the Denver Comedy Works downtown. Outside of the comedy store. The best. The best.

Wait a minute, dude. I think I'm just before you. I'm at Denver Comedy Works. This is funny. What if I'm the week right before you? I go to Denver Comedy Works January 16, 17, 18. Are you 23, 24? Yeah.

Dude, you're right. It's so fucking cool. We'll be consecutive. I'll leave you a gift, by the way. I always like to leave a gift. Yeah. That's cool, man. I'm going to leave a gift for you.

I did it for, I've done it for a few people. Sickler, Ryan Sickler, I left him some weed in Arizona. I'd like to leave a little bit of gift if I know the comic that's coming next. That's sweet, man. I'm going to fucking pick that up. I wonder who's following me there. I want it to start happening. Like, I don't know why we don't do that.

If you know a comic is coming next, we should start giving a little piece of encouragement or fun or I don't know. Drugs. Drugs. Drugs is really what I'm talking about. Drugs is the best thing. Pass down drugs, please. Xanax. Yeah, Xanax. Xanax or even something

simple. Maybe a little bit of cough medicine because you heard they're not feeling that good. Something real simple. Something really nice. A pair of heard they're not feeling that good. You know, something real simple. Something really nice. A pair of socks. Ketamine. Yeah. I mean, we're really going at the opposite ends of the spectrum. But I say socks.

I was thinking of shit. I would want someone to leave me. If you could leave some ketamine. So you can go to Duncan's website. We'll put it in the description. Is it DuncanTrussell.com? That's it. DuncanTrussell.com.

We'll put it in the website to go see him in January and the rest is it duncan trussell.com that's it duncan trussell.com we'll put it in the website um to go see him in january and the rest of the tour of for him in 2020 uh also uh check out his podcast i imagine literally everywhere podcasts are humanly available audio boom is what it's on audio audio your podcast goes up this week this yes yeah yeah they're available everywhere if you have access to podcasting you know exactly how to get them i know people fight all the time over what they're on and what they're not on. I promise they're everywhere. Larry Struman, 798 Oak Glen Terrace has my podcast in his house.

He does? You have to go get it from him. Does Larry have it? They're on little USB drives, yeah. So you just have to go pick it up. So go to Larry Struman's house, pick it up. Please send him a voicemail. You have to call this number.

It is a fax line. Yeah. But if you speak your time of day that you're coming, it will fax him the time of day you have to call this number it is a fax line yeah but if you speak your time of day that you're coming it will fax him the time of day you obviously have to do it in military time

you pull his dick yeah out of his ass yeah and right there tucked in is an episode of my show is an episode of the show

in his ass so take the dick out there will be a USB in there that's right of Duncan's show so please yeah please go down there

he's an awesome dude too thank you Larry go go see larry shrooman um i uh i'm gonna walk away for a second and i want you to say one final thought it's either like a word or a phrase okay right into camera go ahead and do it whoa okay uh acknowledge the wave but stay with the ocean. In here, we pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey. You're that creature in the ginger beard. Sturdy and ginger.

Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are beautiful. You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse. Gingers are hell no. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers.