Whiskey Ginger with Andrew Santino - Dustin Nickerson

Episode Date: March 7, 2025

Dustin Nickerson is the self-proclaimed “World’s Most Average Person,” but don’t let the modesty fool you—his comedy is anything but ordinary. A master of observational humor, Dustin delivers razor-sharp takes on marriage, parenting, and everyday life with the skill of a seasoned pro (and the exhaustion of a father of three). Seen on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon, Comedy Central, and Netflix alongside Kevin Hart, he’s the relatable, hilarious voice of the modern-day family man—if that family man also had a killer tight five. Catch him on tour or on his hit podcast Don’t Make Me Come Back There. http://dustinnickerson.com Check out his set on the Tonight Show: https://youtu.be/AfYMAdj6--k?si=wsts3-qEyL29gxPz #dustinnickerson #andrewsantino #whiskeyginger #podcast #dontmakemecomebackthere ============================================================== Sponsor Whiskey Ginger: https://public.liveread.io/media-kit/whiskeyginger SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS TONAL Promo Code: WHISKEY GET $200 OFF YOUR ORDER https://tonal.com SQUARESPACE GET 10% OFF YOUR ORDER http://squarespace.com/whiskey PROPHET X Promo Code: WHISKEY Get Up To $300 in Prophet Cash https://getprophetx.co ETHOS COVERAGE FOR AS LOW AS $10 A MONTH https://ethoslife.com/whiskey ======================================= Follow Andrew Santino: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ https://twitter.com/CheetoSantino Follow Whiskey Ginger: https://www.instagram.com/whiskeygingerpodcast https://twitter.com/whiskeygingerpodcast Produced and edited by Joe Faria https://www.instagram.com/itsjoefaria Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What I wish you as your fans, welcome back to the show. It's your first time joining the show. Welcome to the show. Like it, subscribe it. Put a comment down below for the Al Goh rhythm. Ladies and gents, I am doing, I'm doing a couple of dates, a couple of dates that I said I would do earlier before I filmed my special.

And I'm happy to do a couple of dates. Also, Bob and I are doing a couple of dates together. I'm gonna be going to Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, May 22nd and May 23rd, I'm playing Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada, two shows, May 23rd there in Winnipeg. So I go Edmonton and Winnipeg and then I'm done for a little bit longer. I'm traveling around the globe,

doing a totally different show, which I'm excited about. But go to andrewsantino.com for those tickets, andrewsantino.com and also, Bein sohn thuis, me and Bobby Lee are gonna be coming to London July 18th and Dublin July 19th. 18th and 19th of July, London and Dublin. The tickets are selling fast.

Go to badfriendspod.com for those tickets. Andrewsantino.com and badfriendspod.com. In here, we pour whisk, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey. Oh, that creature in the ginger beard. Sturdy and ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Ginges are beautiful. You owe me five dollars for the whiskey and seventy-five dollars for the horse.

Ginges are hell no. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Whiskey Ginger. My guest today is one of my favorite people on Earth. I say that for all my guests, but I mean it once again today, it's Dustin Nickerson. Thank you. You've got to be careful saying your last name. Yeah. You've got to be careful.

Well. I do. When people say that, I don't, you hate to like do your act. Yeah. Or your bits. Yeah. But like one of the most viral bits I have is about, is me performing for a black crowd about the delicacy of my last name. Oh, that's good. or your bits. But like one of the most viral bits I have is about,

is me performing for a black crowd about the delicacy of my last name. Oh, that's good. And so when people bring it up, I'm like, are you referencing the bit or just the fact that my last name sounds like a racial slur? I've seen the bit, but it's also hard to get away from. I mean, you really, it's awkward if you don't.

I mean, that's why I say you gotta, it's the most important K in history. You have to stick it like Simone like a gymnast like Nick Like you don't even really need to say there were you need to cuz it where it happens the most is it shows Yeah, where someone's like what's your what do you want for your credits? What was your name again? They know you're they don't know you're they're bringing You up at the store something and they're like and they just don't hit it hard enough. And everyone's like, what is? And then I come out. And they're like, mm. This guy's like, cosplaying as Commissioner Gordon.

And just, I was like, really? That's the guy with the racial slur last name. Interesting. That's the last name I inherited. To me, the like, and our family has had that for a long time. To me, the more interesting one is the Steve Kerr's kid. Oh yeah. Which he named Nick. Yeah. Why would you do that? What are you doing? What are you doing Steve?

What are you, why? He's doing that deliberately. Yeah. He's trolling his own family. Maybe it's the, are you a country music fan, the Johnny Cash song, A Boy Named Sue? A Boy Named Sue, yeah. Maybe it's A Boy Named Sue. He's like, listen I'm gonna be busy coaching Steph. Yeah. I can't be there for you. Right. So I'm gonna give you, your last name's gonna be maybe the, probably the worst racial slur. And you're just gonna have to deal with that and then we'll meet at a bar and fight later. Also, because I'll be busy, this will make you stronger. You're gonna come up in a privileged life. Yeah. Because your dad is the most, one of the most famous coaches and players of all time. So I won't be around.

No. So I wanna make you tough because your life will be a cakewalk. Yeah. So why don't I give you some adversity? Yeah. Yeah, I guess that's a good idea. Yeah, it's kind of a reverse boy name, Sue.

Also, you're gonna be in basketball culture. So there are gonna be a lot of black people around. Yes. You're gonna be. Yeah. How do you, Nick, how do you get invited to the cookout? That's the challenge with a name like that. Can you still get invited to the cookout? That's the challenge with a name like that Can you still get invited to the yeah?

He'll probably go the other way and get it in like graphic arts or something. He'll probably far away Basketball yeah, do you change your name or is it just you go my Nicholas? Yeah, Nicholas Kerr is fine Yeah, still sounds bad did you say I thought it and then you said it and I was like it almost sounds more insulting Yeah, Nicholas Kerr. Yeah, you go or you go by your or you go what if his middle initial? It's like it's like I go by NA or something like that I mean, but then you're in basketball culture again because you're trying to be cool with the initials I'm not gonna lie Andrew. I don't even want to come up with alternatives. Yes, not yeah, let's not let's stay far away Let's stay as soon as you said Nicholas. I was like, oh, that'll be fun

We'll do a bit riffing on it, but or not I'll just continue First that is my last name. All right, I'll give you one. That's even worse. Remember the guy we brought up There's a fisherman. There's a famous Bass Pro fisherman. Mm-hmm, and he sells shirts and they're very viral Okay, because his last name is his name is James Nijmeyer nice Nijmeyer. Nice. Nijmeyer. I mean, guys. Buddy. Oh my god. And it's written on the back. Right. Yeah, Nijmeyer. And he says it the other way. And I'm not gonna. How about that? I'm not gonna pronounce it the way that he pronounces it. Yeah. He pronounces it the real way. And I still say it's Nijmeyer. And he goes, when he sells shirts. By the way, I think on TikTok,

he reported he sold out of all of his shirts on the first day Which just shows you how like the majority of people have a great sense of humor about this kind of stuff They actually I mean that was like the the Red Sox player who dropped the homophobic slur Oh, yeah, and then his jersey sold out the next day like I mean there's nothing you could do to be more popular in Boston That's true. That's yeah, that is true. They're right. They're number one racist. He's team captain Yeah, they gave him the team. He owns the team now. It's kind of crazy. Yeah. Yeah, that's this is the This is the world we have to live in now. This is going to be it and that's okay. We're fine Yeah, I want to have fun. They do I like the delicate walk of it again with the last name. I have I feel like I've been training for this moment all my life

Yeah, you've been doing push-ups in the gym. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, I'm not worried. I gotta see a word coming out. Okay, I Got this. Are you are you a Seattle kid? Yeah, so South Seattle originally like Federal Way Tacoma area, but Tacoma Yeah, technically Federal Way, Washington Which is right next to it, but then so I grew up Federal Way, but I'm I went to UW in Seattle I was think around up there. Oh huskies go huskies. Go where uh, I'm Arizona State Arizona State Congrats Thank you. We did I did a great job. I don't know people don't know this but if you go there you can say we Yeah, which we that's why college is more fun to me than you can't say that for pro No, cuz I didn't pay the Seahawks like 90 grand, right?

Well, although the tickets are getting so expensive NFL games that you're like how much is this? Well, that's part of the issue with the Seattle's like they forever they had like the 12th man Yeah, it was like the loud we would go with KC like they're like who's the loudth man. Yeah, I saw it. And it was like the loudest. We would go with KC like, they're like, who's the loudest? And the tickets got us so expensive that all like the Microsofties go to the games. And that's not who you want. You need like a union plumber who if the Hawks lose. Will hit his kids.

The mom's like, don't talk to dad. Yeah, no, I don't want him to come home tonight. No, no, no, no, please don't. We're gonna get him a red roof in and we're gonna go back to the house. Yeah, yeah exactly He's gonna drink away this pain for a little while. Yeah, and be the tickets were cheaper so he could afford the red roof in That's right. That's right. But now and that's allowed that's a football fan. We don't need a software engineer like When you see that by the way when you go to the games LA has that too in droves because there's so much like There's so much weird crazy money. Yeah, you'll see in the booths at

Sofi these like extremely rich like Suits, you know almost like what finance guys are in New York and you're like these guys don't want to watch football because they're out there They're like canodling and networking. They're not yeah for the game It's a it's a little bit of a bummer how but that's that's been that's the fault of the organizations have priced out They priced out their og fans. I mean you look at look at what happened in Oakland. It's like right You know Oakland did such a disservice to their teams So I mean between the A's and the Raiders that might be the saddest downfall of a city's team I've ever seen in my life, and they took the basketball team. Yeah, and put it in San Francisco

That's like the meanest shit. Yeah, yeah cuz downtown SF so great right right right what a nightmare It's a nightmare we went to that stadium stadium beautiful, and then everywhere else not as so nice San Francisco is great as long as you don't do a full 360 mm-hmm like you can never do a full view And I love everything I just saw right yeah, but I But you feel for Oakland because not only they weren't like, like, I mean, I'll do respect. Like if the Carolina Panthers left, I'd be like, sure. What are you going to do? What are you going to do?

That's all you have. Who cares about the Panthers? I'll do respect to the Panthers. I'm not anti-Pan. It would make sense. Oh, those were iconic teams. Those were teams that won. They had famous players.

They had great looks. They had good fans. They had good branding. Some of the best jerseys I've ever seen. Both. Yeah, the A's to me more than anything. Some of the coolest style, history jersey. I mean, you could make an argument

that the Raiders and the A's are two of the most top five iconic logos in their sports. Yeah, I agree. The only reason that the Raiders, I don't get as much credit because they came here, right? Like they came here and then they won. Yeah, they left again. Yeah, that was like a weird that That's where I get teeter-totter when a team move like if the Chargers won up here. Well, they're gonna too now that Harbaugh's here Yeah, that's what's part of the reason that LA sports fans are the worst not the diehards. Of course. There's great fans They're in the valley right like they they're not they come from a specific area. That's the reason that LA sports fans are the worst, not the diehards. Of course there's great fans. They're in the Valley. Like they're not, they come from a specific area of town.

And they're great fans, but what sucks about LA is like a team does move here and you're like, you'll be bad fans, and then they win a Super Bowl. And then maybe they, the Rams might move back in a couple years. They do that. They just kinda, they're like tenants. They just like like they come and do a little stint here. I know so when I grew up in the 90s like Seahawks are the big brand in town now in Seattle, but we were awful in the 90s.

And we were like no one else was wearing Cortez Kennedy jerseys in the 90s. It was me and like eight other kids and there were, we always had that threat of being a team that moved to LA because that's what LA teams are like just get one every once in a while oh USC's a dynasty now cool whatever yeah big deal yeah maybe I'll go maybe I won't I don't know there's no hometown pride in a lot of but here's my problem with a lot of the pro sports now is a lot of these guys move so much, basketball in particular,

who do you root for anymore? The players? Because your players are, like, I was hanging out in, um, I was hanging out in New Orleans, and my buddy Caruso, Al Caruso, was a Laker. It was a Bull, and now he's an OKC. Yeah. Which is, he's happy. Yeah. He's very happy, but, you know, you buy your kid a jersey, Yeah, which is he's happy. Yeah, very happy, but you know you buy your kid a jersey And it's it's defunct in like a season. Yeah, which is crazy I think there is no like I grew up in Chicago in the 90s, so we were you know Yeah, the best you know I never need anything ever again No, and I can still rock a coup coach Jersey, but it still has some resonance

Yeah, because they were so because it was so powerful. That's how big they were yeah, yeah You could put like a Horse grant Jersey on a wedding and I could throw that on wedding. Yeah people know yeah, you can't but nowadays I don't think you know your secondary fifth man Because he didn't stay for long like he just didn't it just didn't have the same kind of yeah Because look and I don't disagree with them These guys are in it because they're athletes that wanna make a living in the sport of entertainment. Yes. Let's make no mistake. It's an entertainment sport.

Oh yeah. You know what I mean? This isn't like, college is totally different. Yeah. And that's why people get mad when the college player moves, but these guys wanna make a living and get in before they're expired, or they get hurt. Well, you can see it because the leagues are adjusting.

They're like, okay, you can do bat flips now, or you can do celebrations now. Ratings are down. Yeah're like, okay, you can do bat flips now. Or you can do celebrations now. Ratings are down. Oh, pitcher, you want to take your time? We don't care. It doesn't matter. People are bored. I know the guy doing this, keeping score in the stadium, doesn't like this, but he doesn't know.

Well, he'll be dead in ten years. And you gotta move on. He'll die in that seat. That's where he wants to die. The radio guy, I love radio, man. die in that seat. That's where he wants to die. Yes the radio guy I love radio man. I see that love when I listen to radio Yeah, yeah, I go on dog. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I see those guys at Wrigley. They're still there Yeah, and and it's beautiful to watch but you know, that's a dying breed. Yeah, that's why they sped up baseball Because they were like this enough. They sped up hockey, you know, like they sped up everything to be like it's got to be more

Yeah, you remember in hockey when they tried to do the puck on the box is enough, they sped up hockey. You know, like they sped up everything to be like, it's gotta be more. Yeah, you remember in hockey when they tried to do the- The puck on Fox. Yeah, they tried, the puck. The puck on Fox, follow the hot puck on Fox. Everyone got mad. Yeah, is there a sport that has a bigger drop off from live to TV than hockey?

No. Because live, I think it's the best sport. Best live sport I've ever, unequivocally, we've talked about this. Yeah. It is Untouchable life the most energy. I've ever seen you're on your feet I can't like it's awesome. So it's so good. There's gonna be a fight Unwatchable unwatchable. It's tough and I like it Yeah, I'm getting into it now because we just got the crack in and I'm like learning All right, that's right. I seen you know, like it's funny to pick up a sport at 40

You know, how are they offsides when they up a sport at 40. You're like- How are they off sides when they're all on all sides? I don't get it. It is interesting. And then they explain it to you and like, I still don't get it. Well, line changes, like changes or something I had to learn as a kid,

because I didn't understand. Oh, they're coming and going. Well, because I was a basketball kid. And so subbing is such a big deal, but that's, you have to sub in at the break. Oh, subbing, you have to like call the president. You gotta like check in, you gotta sign your, you gotta give them your social security number.

It's so grandiose. My daughter plays volleyball and that same thing. It's very, you gotta do this like weird little tag in with the teammate and stuff. I'm like, just hockey, they're like, Go! Yeah. Get out, go! They literally, you're putting your foot over the thing.

I love that. It's great. It's very fun, yeah. It's so fast. You're right, that's the biggest dropoff I've seen live, live to television. And also, let's do the, the, the inverse of that. I prefer NFL on TV. Football on TV is so much better. It's just so much better. I'll never, the last, the last NFL game that I went to was, I went to the Beastquake game where the 7-9 Seahawks is the famous Marshawn Lynch run. Caused an earthquake.

Seven and nine Seahawks shouldn't have been in the playoffs. Hosted a playoff game. And we're going against the Saints who had won the Super Bowl the year before. That's right. And Marshawn has the crazy run. It's unbelievable. He does the crotch grab going into the end zone.

I remember walking out going, I'll never go to another game. That's it? It'll never get better. I'll never go to another. I'll never pay for an NFL game. You know, our job has hookups every once in a while. It's like one of their perks. And I've gone to college game since,

and college is different, and I went to the Sugar Bowl last year with my kid in New Orleans, I was great. College is different, but the pro, it's unbelievable. It's just tough to be at. Well, we went to go see, we went to University of Michigan to go see the Big House in Ann Arbor go see the big house And yeah to see them Get smushed by the ducks Which you know like as an old-school pack 12 guy you do love to see that I do even though they're all dissolved now

I don't at all. I mean I I know you do I know you do yeah, you're not rooting for, Arizona I just like that. I just like that a pack 12 team because look dude I grew up my dad went to an SEC school went to Tennessee so okay I always heard like you know those schools are bullshit you guys are bull. Yeah, there's anything Tennessee knows about its winning championships Hey, I love to hear your lecture on this T Martin T Martin Martin soon as Peyton leaves Yeah, the next guy comes in and does it I? This is so funny. I was on Nate Lambergazi's pod about this, like a couple weeks ago, yelling about this.

So you're a Midwest guy, went to Arizona, live on the West Coast. I'm all West Coast, but we go everywhere. Where I actually live is in a courtyard Marriott. That's where I actually live. I live at that executive lounge, baby. I have an impossibly high status. They don't even know what the...

After I got Titanium Elite, they're like, we don't have anything more for you. Mr. Nickerson, are you a partner in Marriott now? Yeah, no, they go in there like, dude, you should go home. Yeah. They just say, look at it, it's the name of my children. They're like, Joel misses you. Like, oh, all right.

You have pictures of the hallway on the way to the room of your kids and family. Yeah, yeah, yeah, instead of the Marriott family, it's just my kids. Pictures of me phot on the way to the room of your kids and family. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Instead of the Marriott family, it's just my kids. Pictures of me photoshopped into them. No, I'm a very involved father. But this is like, the SEC does this, and respect, but you were an ASU guy, as someone who follows college football, I'm not scared of the SEC.

We were scared of Nick Saban. 100%. Nick Saban, and yes, LSU won in there, and yes're scared we were scared in Nick Saban 100% Nick Sabe and yes LSU won in there and yes Georgia which but it was Nick Saban's era we were scared yeah the Goliath that was the Goliath I mean Washington with the college football playoff twice during there one of them we lost to Saban like that's what you do but now ASU winning the Big 12 Oregon not just winning the Big 10. Sweeping, crushing, destroying, annihilating. Beating Penn State, Ohio, and games that are close.

And they go in to have a little team from Eugene, Oregon, which by the way, if you've ever been to Eugene, which I'm sure you have. I have, yeah. It's all they have. And to go in and win the Big 10 is so satisfying. But that being said, I hope their stadium burns down. I was thinking about this, because if you're a, like, Oregon, now that it's pay for play,

it does take a little of the shine off a college football to me, like a little, because everyone's transferring. It's now, it's a matte finish, it's not shiny, it's matte. Yeah. You're like, it's nice, but it's still like it. It still just doesn't look as cool as when it's shiny, shiny, and pretty. It's like when you like, he's nice, but it still like it still just doesn't look as cool as when it's shiny shiny and pretty It's like when you like he's like, oh, is that a vintage sure? Oh, it's like new vintage. Oh, so it's not remade it. Yeah

Yeah, I mean it's cool. Yeah, I see the vintage clothes over there. Yeah, well this kid this kid is he's a 25 year old So all of I know about fashion from when I was a kid is literally being handed to him now It is so funny that yeah, you know that the old, your parents are like, oh, we used to wear that when we were blah blah blah. And I'm saying the same thing to him because he's like my son. And if genuinely he wears shit that I wore when I was 12. So anything I have around the house, I just give to him.

He loves it, dude. So my son, we had our kids young. My son's a senior in high school. Holy shit. Yeah, yeah, I got like old kids. He's almost a full adult man. Is he bigger than you? He taller than I hate that yeah, I see that that makes me so sad Yeah, I Yes, but also I'm 5'8 so I'm happy for my son. He's not 5'8 right yeah, but you landed a beautiful woman

So even if he was short he can do your short kings do when you have to be so charming yeah, and you are well Thank you. Yeah, you're blessed. Yeah, you're blessed Thank your son doesn't have to have as much of a personality. No, and he doesn't He's actually Oddly like he's very cool like he's so we live in San Diego, and he's just like a chill San Diego, bro, right like just big lifeguard a surfer guy skates surf love so He's a runner. He's pregnant running college surfs. Love. So he's a runner. He's probably gonna run in college.

He's a distance runner. So he clocks about a 420 mile. 420? Yeah, yeah. In the mile? Yeah, yeah, very fast, yeah. That's insane. Yeah, we were out a while back.

I mean, a couple comics, we were on like Lime scooters and we got up to 15 miles an hour and I go, hold this for a mile. That's my son running. Oh my God. It's crazy. It's so- That's crazy. It's so there's beautiful It's so we went to stay up in Fresno like a couple weeks ago like and you're your kid being there qualifying like Going to stay if like you're like a small school in you know

Iowa is one thing going to the highest level like D one in California in the state of California Yeah, the the state that is the country basically in size-wise. This is my favorite thing too, to bring it back to the SEC, when they're like, it just means more in the South. I'm like, all these kids are from California. Right, literally all of them, yeah. These are not all kids who are out of this. Every single line says, Riverside, Fresno, Sacramento.

Every one of those kids, when you see where their hometown is. Yeah, they're all from Florida, Texas, California. Those are the three loud states in America that produce athletes. They're the most vocal people, family members in America. So it's so crazy to watch your kid do that and achieve that, but in addition to that, he sells vintage clothes. He goes to bins, like Goodwill bins, not like Goodwill.

The bins where he's... It's like him and Mexican families looking for sheets And he's like, what's up? And like they and he's just thumbing and and he'll get it He has like he has his own depop as you probably know. It's like an online app that you sell stuff He's like doing a vintage market that he sets up. It's unbelievable. It's so fun and same thing he'll like he like His grail you pregnant that's when you find your grail was he found a pair of jinkos Oh, no, I like jeans and I was like, he like, his grail, you probably, again, when you find your grail, was he found a pair of Jinkos.

And I was like, they're probably mine. They're so popular right now. I was like, you didn't know this? No, are they back? Oh, Jinkos are back, back. If we would have held onto them. God, I gotta call my mom. My mom does still have stuff at the house.

I know, I described, he's like, dad, did you ever have Jinkos? I was like, oh dude, we were poor, so like, that's all I got one year. That's high shit. Yeah, that was like and it was a pair of black jinkos They were called the skunks and a white stripe going down Oh and my my single father union working for the at the airport was like well This is all your back-to-school money. Like this is the full thing 96 dollar are $96 jeans. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, back then. So $500 now.

$1000 in today's cap. Yeah, and I was like, I guess I'll just wear these every day, Dad. And what was below them, by the way? Skate shoes? Oh, oh. Are we talking air walks? No, no, air walks because we were poor.

Edneys, like, Edneys was high-end. That is a little fancy. Yeah, yeah, air walks you could get for cheaper. Air walks are in payless shoes now, yeah. Really? Yeah. Man. That was, because you grew up with some humble roots too the shoes were always so embarrassing well shoes were here's the problem is like the shoes became we were in the

era especially in Chicago when Jordans were they feel like they were gold plated they were such a coveted things right so when I got my first pair of Jordans I was so scared yeah kind of wear them I didn't really want to rock them. Right, right. A because you don't get the creases. Yeah, you don't get the smudges Yeah, screw them up. And then also you're like, well, I don't want anybody to like beat me up for these. Oh Beat up for these. I mean the starter jacket was the big fear My mother never wanted me to have a starter jacket Yeah, and I did end up getting a bull starter jacket But she knew because the news the WGN would be, so kids are getting beat up for starter jackets left and right.

And my mom was like, you're very beat up-able. I don't want to give you this. Sorry. A redheaded, skinny white kid, it's like, you're very beat up-able. I love when parents give you an honest moment like that. So the neighborhood we grew up in, it's all nice now, which is crazy, because it was very bad when I grew up there.

But we were in an area that was pretty rough. school you couldn't ride bikes to school because that kept getting stolen And I remember my bike got stolen by this kid named Jacoby. We know him. Yeah. Yeah, we know him well and Constant thief yeah, and my dad goes. I'm sorry son. I was like dad my bike got stolen We got to go get it and my dad goes your bike got stolen by the wrong family Like in other words like I'm not getting involved I don't do that. I'm gonna get my car stolen right I get involved in this Kid steals bikes the dad steals yeah, yeah the kid who's stealing bikes now He's going to home to some great home and some my dad's not gonna knock on that door Yeah, not so like leave it to be for

Like good old-fashioned. I'll go tell that dad what his kid that dad was probably told the kid to do it Yeah, it looked at like little 90 pound mean is like that's a stealable like Dustin. Yeah, take that kid's bike. Yeah Yeah, I don't need to see him Dustin Dustin take his bike Dustin. That's a that's a bike In here, we pour whiskey. It can often feel like there's not enough time in the day to get everything done that you need to do, whether it's work, family, kids, other responsibilities. No matter what you've got going on tonal, you can ensure that you're checking workout off your to-do list with the convenience of having an at-home gym 24-7.

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save yourself 10% off your first purchase a website or domain ginger i like gingers. The fashion, the rise of when we were kids of how expensive things started to get was kind of, it was crazy. Like I remember like if you had a lot of Abercrombie, that's crazy money. Because those shirts were like really expensive. So kids that had a lot of it,

like girls in school that wore a lot of it, I was like, that's big money. It just like looked expensive too. That was the first store that I remembered like, oh I'm too poor to even go in. Right, they even said that at the door. Yeah, yeah, yeah, the mannequin said it. Excuse me.

Yeah. There's just that shirtless mannequin going, Not you, sir, not you. I always felt ugly going into stores where cool kids could shop. Yeah. So I kind of avoided it a little bit. Yeah.

I was a lanky, redheaded kid. I thought I was cool I probably was okay on the cool scale Yeah, but stores like that really upped my insecurity because everybody that was hot they looked like a hot high school Yeah, you know that you know the image that they have when they're like and I tried to be it sometimes But it's never worked. Yeah, and they had money too Yeah, and high school seemed like it was such a correlation between hot and rich Well, I know it looks like every time I go past a high school or see high school kids in public, right? They're all rich when you're looking at them. Yeah, are they are they all rich is every high school kid rich?

Yeah, everywhere I go I see high school kids eating at like nice restaurants in here Oh what if they even here but even no dude, but even when I'm in the valley, yeah where I stay Even in the valley. I know it I stay, even in the valley, I know it's kind of crazy. Even if they don't, like it's, yeah, they are, everything is so expensive that if you even see a kid like showing their face in public, then you have to assume they come from money.

Because the rest of them are working. Yeah, they're also, yeah, they're working. They're at jobs, yeah, they're not at school, they're trying, they're the third job. Well, I had jobs, that's me. I had I had a job I had to have a job unless my sport was in season that was my dad kind of rule Yeah, even though was your first job. My very first job was McDonald's. I was 15. Yeah, it's a Mac dough Yeah, it's a Mac dough working the window and we got fired. Oh, I heard you tell Papa this. Yeah

Yeah, it was like you were like stealing well Chris Chris Chris knows Chris stole more than I did to be honest like those guys stole Chris and Colin stole more They stole cash. Yeah, I stole food I Mean you were gonna throw that out anyway. That's what I'm saying It was gonna go in here, so we would give our friends meals through the window Yeah, did I steal money to I did for sure, but it was not a lot It would be like I'd keep the change from You'd steal from the customers, not the business. No, I'd steal from the business.

Yeah, of course. They've got enough. They don't care. It's McDonald's. Yeah, so I did McDonald's was my first job. And then it was YMCA. I was a basketball. I wanted to coach basketball,

but it was really babysitting. It's all right. I mean, it wasn't, it was like- What age It's all I mean it wasn't it was like what age I've been around a lot of you they were like five They were like five to eight five to nine so they was babysitting yeah Yeah, but you're still gonna have some crappy parents in there. Yeah, they come around yeah Well the hardest thing was then they pushed me into they were like Lifeguarding paid a little bit more. I think it was yeah two more dollars an hour

Yeah, so I was like Jesus Christ, so I can buy a house with this now two more So when I got like I was like McDonald's now billionaire And then they asked if I wanted to coach swimming because that that that was even more and yeah, are you good swimmer? No, I never swim in my life. I was a basketball baseball football, but I had no idea about swimming Yeah, so you could swim yeah, but I mean I shouldn't be teaching these kids how to swim No, I don't you're just like go do it yeah go or I would just steal instructions from another coach Oh, yeah And then the parents listening the parents especially the Asian parents would get very mad at me because I had no discipline

They actually wanted their kids to get good yeah, and the parents would have conversation with me would be like what do you what are you teaching? The kid what what is this drill? I'm like you know this is something that we believe also, it's a YMCA, lady. You wanna go get a private coach? Go get a private coach. Yeah, this is not the place. I'm a high school kid. I'm barely here. Yeah, you're not paying enough to be picky.

And I also used to fall asleep in the lifeguard chair a lot. I got yelled at a lot for that. Did you have sunglasses on? No, no. It was indoor. It was indoor, yeah, it was indoor. Out here, all the pools are outside here in California, and I'm always there looking at him sometimes I want to be like to my kid. I'm like just pretend to drown see if they See if we get a 17 year old fired

Because genuinely it'd be so hot in those indoor pools. Yeah, and the oh yeah would be radiating in the winter And it was so cozy these Californians don't know about indoor pool life. That's all we had growing up Yeah, it was such a big deal to go swimming. Yes. Oh huge It you'd make a birthday party out of it I'll never be a huge deal federal way with a federal way public pool had a diving board nice It was so fun till I got back knee and then I'd swim with a shirt on Cuz you know what that's still embarrassing you want a fat kid though no it's a very scrawny kid yeah I had bad acne because a fat kid with bad acne is even worse with back knee that's bad yeah that is the can't I know it doesn't

it doesn't cancel each other out sad you'd like it too you'd like actually fat with pimples works but it doesn't it's like my theory about adults and this is a rude theory but if you're fat you can't be bald and if you're bald you can't be fat you got a pick No, which I'm trying to lose weight as I lose hair Yeah, you have to I sense these two things need to go like I need to go like this is that goes because a bald skinny In shape guy still hot cool Yeah, a lot of a lot of people you see in the older years like when you're still like yours your dad is your dad bald

Yeah, he's bald, but he's in great shape yeah, and he's a good-looking guy Yeah, but if he was charming see money. He's Ish does he have enough? Does he have money is that what he said yeah? They don't have my they come from very like normal Midwest like great nice Midwest people Yeah, he works for the Special Olympics. Oh, yeah, that's nice. Yeah, so he's good-looking He's not stealing from that company. Yes They'll never see it coming McDonald's

Never see it come ironically those kids also work at McDonald's. That's kind of the transition They go right from the Special Olympics to me. That's how they recruit They don't even need to see their 40-time. They just go who's on the line. I've never seen someone set up that job fair there When I was at my son's not not the meat, not state meat, the one right before that where he like, he qualified for state. You know, they have all the things that like, hey, you know, this could be, think about your future here.

There's college recruiters and stuff. There's like little job fairs. And there was one that was Raising Canes, the chicken company, right next to the Marines. And I was like, I mean, these are, is that what they're saying? Like, these are high schoolers' two choices. They're like-

Work at Raising Canes. Yeah, you get Raising Canes at the Marines. And honestly? You're gonna end up there anyway. Yeah, yeah, yeah. One of the two, you're gonna go. Yeah, based on the care that we give our veterans, it's actually, you're just delaying

until you get to Raising Canes, unfortunately. It sucks. By the way inside a local raising canes now They're gonna implement a lot of the VA. So the hospital will be inside of a raising canes If you want to know where the future for veteran care is never mind the fact that we're giving away hundreds of billions of dollars To other countries, but our veterans are struggling It's just all chicken-based. We're doing Chicken-based medicine they prescribe you a hot spicy. Yeah, a veteran's like my neck is killing me like let me tell you something about our number two. Yeah We're gonna send you home with a belly full your neck will still be in pain. Yeah, we're really sorry about that

I live with a guy who is a comedian I won't mention who was a veteran and you go to the VA and would tell me how Unbelievably atrocious it was. Yeah. And he would be like, dude, it's so crazy I couldn't get an appointment for like months and months for something that was really plaguing him. Yeah. And when he would go in, he's like, it's a joke. It's like they gave him Advil. He's like, I have Advil. Yeah. I have Advil.

It's so sad. And it's like when you see a veteran on the street, you're just like, really when you see almost anyone on the street, you're like, this is a government failure. Big time. Like, you know, you put drugs on the street, like overprescribed, underprescribed, whatever we do, we didn't care for our veterans, we didn't provide mental health stuff, like, this is just our problem.

Okay. Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah, it's us. It's on you. Yeah. The government's wasting away billions and billions of trillions if not Yeah, at least fill the potholes if you're gonna do that at least give me smooth roads If they're gonna be littered with homeless people, I don't hit bumps while I'm looking at sad stuff

You know, I want a smooth sailing when I'm looking at poverty Yeah, and they make you feel like you're a bad person for me like this is an issue. We should do something, right? No, like oh, is it? Yeah, is it really? Yeah, you know, you feel like you're a bad person for me. Like, this is an issue, we should do something, right? And they're like, oh, is it? Yeah. Is it really? Yeah, like make you feel bad. You're like, oh, like, oh, really? You're so upset about homeless people? It's like, no, that's a person, I care about them.

Yeah, I'd like it to be fixed. I would like it to be fixed. I care about these business owners here. I care about all that kind of stuff. But you're right, this is my fault. My bad. 100%, yep, my bad. I should have cared for the Vietnam vets better. That's on me.

That's 100% on me. I should have told us the Vietnam vets better. That's on me. That's a hundred percent on me I should have told us not to go Vietnam in the first place That's on me. And then I should have cared for them. Yeah, it is my bad And by the way strap in because the draft is coming back baby. We're going oh is it it's gotta be yeah I can feel it brewing. Yeah, this has got to be to think that World War three isn't going to break out I think is very arrogant. It's a lot of arrogance to be like, we already did two of them, we're done. Right. You really think?

The problem was... Well, I don't think they... Well, go ahead. The two were started by the same cat. Yeah. Okay? But this one, the new world, we just assume that... Like, oh, some chaotic dictator that's trying to eradicate a race of people out in Europe,

that's never going to happen again. But you're like, it is happening in a million other ways. You're just pretending that that... It doesn't look the same. It just doesn't look the same. So to think that World War III is not coming, especially with technological warfare,

good luck, dude. We're in, dude. Strap up. And by the way, they're only gonna take people in their 50s, so it'll be us. Oh, man. I got nine years, huh? Yeah, I got a I got eight. Do you don't when you think about like these big world events?

I'm like so petty and selfish cuz I like that'd be awful and then I'm like what's gonna happen to comedy Yeah, oh, I mean I was like am I gonna still have a job. No, do I? Yeah, we're running out We better save that money baby. Yeah, I say that damn. I'm like there the boom is about to pop I think we are- Oh, the comedy boom? Yeah, we're- Well, the good news is I haven't gotten in on it yet. So I'm trying to get that next boom.

Everyone's like, there's so much money in comedy yet. I was like, let me tell you about my sales in Oklahoma City this last week. You're waiting, like when a plane continuously breaks the sound barrier, you're just waiting for the next- Yeah. You're like, oh, I couldn't get that one or that one. I will get that one. No, no, no you're just waiting for the next you're like that I couldn't get that one or that way I will get that no no no I'm hoping for the next boom I'm hoping for the next recession so I

can buy a house and the next comedy boom well San Diego tough place to buy a house my god yeah that's like one of the richest I mean are you in your your North County too no we're kind of by the college's not as ridiculous, but North County is like yeah It's crazy like do you want to buy a house between mint Romney and Russell Wilson? That's what they have right here Broncos money Russell Wilson, okay, right right right right so yeah It's I don't even really care like home ownership is fake anyways It is which is what you tell yourself when you're a renter

No, Ian Edwards used to talk to me about this all the time Ian Edwards the great Ian Edwards would say Even when it's paid off. Yeah, you still pay on it. Yeah, how was it yours? Yeah, it's never paid off and they could take it a hundred percent It's any given point. Yeah at any given point that thing's gone You're still paying property taxes in a place if I can't dig a hole without having to call a number, this is not my property Yeah, I got a call before I dig you moved a pipe. So we're gonna find you. Yeah, but it's my house Yeah, it's not your house buddy. No, it's it's your it's you have you own some of the wood Yeah, but you don't own the grass. Yeah, do you do you get the mind like some I think as I get older

There's a couple things I get as I get older But one of them is like the go disappear in the hills guy I get it well not to not to Not to sniff your tush, but we for a long time looked at Washington Only because I have there's a little weird crush on it, so I looked at that as my getaway I've always wanted to end up on a lake. Yes one end up near water mm-hmm So yeah, I've sniffed around up there. I'll tell you off the show. A little Chelan area, a little central.

I'll tell you. After the show, I'll tell you some of my sneaky spots. Some spots that I kind of, I don't know, that I just always had a little crush on it. My wife likes it too. This will be the last house I ever live in. I do know that. I had a conversation with a...

You're gonna kill yourself in it? Yeah. Yeah, you were talking about that before. Yeah, I know, and don't leak it gonna kill yourself in it. Yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm talking about that. Yeah, I know and don't leak it don't leak and join the patreon you can see No, but I've always thought this will be the last house that I yeah own because I just figured even talking to my money man He's like you yeah renting is just as feasible in this current world Yeah, we have like we have enough money that we have a guy that we talk to about our money.

And he's like, just rent, which just shows you how, usually you would own a home before you have, I talk to this guy about my money guy. Right. You know, but- Not here, not here, not in California. California's not, it's not feasible. I still like it. I mean, I choose to live it.

We could live anywhere we want in comedy. why San Diego? Well, I started there So like my I'm from Seattle, but my we move I didn't I had like a late start to comedy I was 27 when I went to my first open mic 27 that old that's not like 35 You're not like coming how old you started 21 20. Yeah. Yeah, but I was the oldest one at open mics Sure who well, I shouldn't say that I was the oldest one who was new to open mics There's a couple 30 year olds there they're still trudging around Yeah, you miss some of the characters of open mics Yeah, but I had a cool mic scene like I have like a very so San Diego is like a why had a it's great start like

Bobby's out of San Diego originally and there's been people who've come like before my era Like Taylor Williamson and stuff like that. They were you know, San Diego Vicki Barbala stuff like names like that But my particular class was very strong and very driven. It was mostly do you know Derek Poston? He opens for Schultz like they're posting a son of mod, right Brian Simpson Oh, yeah, and Taylor Tomlinson. And me. That was kind of... Taylor's like my sister. She's like very close to me. Taylor and I are close, but we weren't close when I first started,

because that would have been age inappropriate for me to be friends with her. Well, because she started when she was 17 or something? She was like a child. I'm like, what am I going to say? Like, how are classes? You know? You got a date for prom? But we got on the road around similar times. But it was like a very driven class. And there were other really good comics down there too.

James Schrader and Ryan Hicks. There were strong comics. So I started down in San Diego, but had a day job. And the reason I'm still there is because my family's happy there. I would love to live in LA. It would be helpful to live in LA. But A, you don't need to.

And B, it would be such a dick move to my family. Hey, everybody's happy here. You like your schools? You like your life, your friends? Hey, the guy who's already gone three to four days a week wants to live somewhere else. Yeah, it's not feasible. So that's why we're down in San Diego.

Well, it's good. I mean, look, for me, I always wish I did it right. I mean, I started in Los Angeles, so I'm an idiot. Right. I'm a moron. I moved here. It's worked out okay. Well, but what a, I mean, in retrospect,

proud of it, but also shocked, because a lot of people didn't, they always are like, oh, you started in Chicago. It's like, no, I'm from Chicago, but I moved from Arizona to here. I just started in the gut of this. Did you do any mics or anything at Arizona State? Yeah, but that wasn't really a real thing.

I've talked about this. Phoenix has like five clubs now. It's huge. When I was there, dude, Tempe Improv. It's like the fourth biggest city in America now too, right? It's insane. Tempe Improv was the only club. Huge room.

They had one open mic back then, and you didn't't that was not a reality. It was just so hard and so Back then it was hard to do that's why I wanted to get out as fast as I could so the summer that I graduated I packed up a u-haul and moved to Long Beach, and I started doing Not just open mics, but like you know bringer shows right side book shows where I Friends some stuff yeah, and I didn't pay money to perform Yeah, that always kind of broke my heart because I didn't have any money So I was like this is kind of a bummer to pay to suck What were you doing for work at the time my first job in Long Beach was I worked at a I worked at a I

Worked at a physical therapy office As like an assist as like a they just needed like a someone like a cyst as a yeah I wasn't I was growing on everybody Yeah Such physical drain yeah, no, but I was just kind of I was dating a girl. I started seeing a chick Loosely dating like how you got less respectful on the second yeah telling of that well we didn't a girl I was seeing this broad yeah, yeah, I'm telling you about this bird. I was porkin We were we were barely I mean we were hanging out a lot,

but she got me the job. It was actually really nice. She's like, they need kind of like a gopher around the office. I was like, I need that job. So I took that, that was my first job. And then I was fighting to get a PA job in Los Angeles. That's because I wanted to move up here.

We were living in Long Beach. So I finally got the PA job, which, oof, I mean, I was rolling in the money. It's 400 bucks a week before taxes, dude. I think I walked away, it's like, you know, I think I was rolling in the money. Yeah, 400 bucks a week before taxes You know I think I walked away. It's like you know. I think it was like 326. Yeah I was a you know I was rich basically I was rich. I was like lifeguarding Yeah, I was exactly money. I made in high school genuinely the PA was like my first Yeah, and then I had different day than I worked in an office on the road and got paid less

Significantly I lost a lot of money on the road Yeah, you lose so much money on the road early on and don't talk about speeding tickets and parking tickets I got those rental cars love that yeah big fan of getting speeding tickets. I got five my first year on the road Oh, yeah, and then you nice congrats Yeah, there's one and then you you're so especially those like early middle days where you're like you have to avoid tolls Yeah, you can't afford a toll. You can't afford a toll. That's insane.

You can't afford a headliner? Yeah. You're like I can only afford the toll if I do well in merch this weekend. If I sell 10 stickers and three shirts. Yeah, yeah, can I trade the toll booth a koozie? You go up to him, you just hand it to the guy. He's like listen dude, we don't take those anymore.

No, it's one of my punchlines. It makes sense if you saw the whole 25 minutes I can I can send you the Facebook link I can send it to you if you want to if you want to watch it You can't it's on there. Yeah, that was those were the days of like humming around doing mics and then Bouncing away from Long Beach now. I finally got to move up here right in like oh seven I moved finally got a got I moved to a place in LA with a bunch of UCLA kids okay in Culver City Culver City nice not no No, no different world back then different world. Oh seven Culver City was not no 2024 okay, yeah my Hyundai Sonata got broken into they sold my and they stole all they stole was my CD book and to this day

Still want that book back man wherever you are. I mean what a book Sonata got broken into they sold my and they stole all they stole was my CD book and to this day Still want that book back man wherever you are. I mean what a book I collected what a more value would there be then in this it was unbelievable Yeah, it was and it was you know for and yeah, how what thickness level unless it's like a single one No, no book for and for for on each side and just yeah, just layers of card collections. It's unbelievable Yeah, weighed 20 pounds So many burn CDs in there from people that like great like I love how you weren't supporting artists I couldn't yeah couldn't afford it. Yeah. Yeah. Well a lot of the other CDs were stolen as well I mean that was the other thing whether or not I stole it or I burned it

I was stealing it either way it was Kazaa or Napster or I was stealing all of it I like to think in my heart that Eddie Vedder understood. I was poor Yeah, he showed up like he hated ticket master, and I did too. I still do I still do yeah Yeah, you do you your your sales are on ticket master. I don't reach that level thief. I'm through seed engine still I think Whatever La Jolla uses Let me tell you thank God for those lower those lower still exist, because Ticketmaster is wiping the world. So criminal. When we put up our tickets, we're like, yeah, our tickets are $35. Then by the time they're done, it's like $86.42.

Yeah, yeah. And they're like, oh, it's sold out? And you're like, oh, but no one's coming. Yeah, they can't afford to get there. Oh, that's great. This will be a great show. Yeah, they can't be there. It's a sad reality I've talked about with a lot of comics that I wish there was an alternative version of selling tickets direct to customers But it's so sad because people will say hey, I overpaid for these tickets You know like I didn't we don't price it like that right this machine that takes over And and by the way, you can restrict it you can try what I've tried to do is create artist sales for longer So when we have artist code I go just make it two weeks

So they have two weeks instead of see so they have more time to buy it at tick at artist prices Yeah, but that's the problem the pre-sale stuff like people are like, I don't know if I can be there in June. It's right It's January. Well, the government's doing such a good job with our veterans. I'm sure they'll get on this one on the same Yeah, one on the same one on the same. It is so funny It's a another big corporate scam that we have zero control over nine people do have to take it Yeah, we just get this is this is why like I mean, I this is why that guy got shot in New York All right, we'll be right Sorry about that wasn't me though. It wasn't no

This is like of course left and right are like a real thing like you're a line But the bigger gap is top and bottom a hundred percent. We're all bottoms. We're all bottoms. We're all bottoms. I'm a power bottom. Yeah, you're But we are all bottoms yeah Bottoms up Good good water By the way by the company that doesn't sponsor us that's even funnier too Another another supporting a machine that doesn't sponsor us at all no these are good people You know they you know the story here. I don't know anything about him, so I

When liquid death first came out I was making fun of it because I was like this is how hard it is to get guys to drink water Can you kill your thirst You know, liquid dirt. Can you kill your thirst? There you go, alright. And then the story of it is the guy that created it got sober and it was for people to drink at concerts so that you could hold something. Right.

Because that's one of the great parts about being at concerts, holding a beer. So it looks like this and it feels like this and it kind of feels like you're having beer. So it's good and it's helping people get clean. I like that, that's fine. Isn't that fine? Well I like drinking N.A.'s now. Like if I don't really feel like having a night. Oh yeah, and the placebo kind of works.

It definitely works. Yeah. My buddy Chris O'Connor, do you know him? He's a great comic. O'Connor says when he's doing a run of just drinking, he's like, I'm a non-alcoholic tonight. Yeah. Tonight I'm a non-alcoholic.

Yeah. He's like, traditionally I'm an alcoholic. He's like, but tonight I'm a non-alcoholic. And well that's like, traditionally I'm an alcoholic. He's like, but tonight I'm a non-alcoholic. Well, and that's a very grown-up of you, too. Every once in a while I'll text the wife. I'm like, hey, I don't want to, you know, get too ahead of myself here, but you want to crack a couple N.A.s tonight? You know, get a little skinny pop?

A little skinny pop and N.A.s? It's gonna be a little wild? Am I throwing a kombucha and catch a buzz on the patio? Yeah, good gut health. Maybe re-watch Brooklyn Nine-Nine. This is romance in your 40s. Oh, 100%. Yeah, that's it. Well, you have three kids,

so that's also hard to even get into one each other when you have to pay attention to humans in your house. It's gotta be hard. Well, and they like, this is, they stay up late, and it's like. They're always around. No, you have to like, yeah, it's just, And you guys do staycations, where you go to always around no you have to like Yeah, it's just kind of guys do staycations where you go to a once well That's another nice thing about San Diego and stuff you know, but they're also old enough that sometimes. We're just like bye You know we're out of here 18. He can take care of everybody

Yeah, and that's exactly it and he is like I'm going to New York next week And it's like it's like a fun big thing that's happening and stuff So I'm just like alright mom's coming. Bye, and we kind of have that like mindset in our house I'm like mom takes care of you and I take care of mom That's like kind of so like we'll go like I'm home for like three or four nights this week and like one of the nights We're going to a concert. We're like see you guys. That's you need that. That's good. How old is the youngest? She's ten. Yeah, she's fine. 10's fine, and also it's a girl. Girl 10 is basically a boy 16. She's way more mature than the 17 year old boy.

That's what I'm saying, that's kind of, that, they are the same age. Yeah, yeah, 100%. Culturally they're the exact same age. No, she does our taxes. It's very, very, she's way- Does she charge or no? Yeah, it's pretty high rate too, actually.

Oh, she's good. Yeah, she's the top. She comes in the room and she rate to actually oh, she's good Yeah, she's a top she comes in the room, and she takes over glad she lowers. She's like you know some of these charges I'm gonna have to talk to you guys a little I'm a little scared line by line Can't write this off. What are you doing? I know that wasn't for work What what's the trip for New York for you said it's special you want to know it's coming out Whenever what I actually don't know in a week week or two? Well it'll be over. I'm doing the Tonight Show on Tuesday. You'll have already done it. How did you do?

I did great. I hope. This will be so funny if it airs post and I just bomb. Or it doesn't go out at all. Our friend Laura Peek who opens one, she just did it. And then they showed it at the Cellar this week. We watched it and thought it was very... You were at the cellar. Yeah, that's great

Yeah, it was just a nice moment to watch yeah her do this thing I thought that was a beautiful cuz she kills she's so talented. She's so funny I have her in another comic named Zach Townsend another X great Nashville guy, Nashville Technically even though Laura's here, but it was cool to have people that I'm trying to help support to grow Yeah, watch and she's so good. I'm not like so good. I'm not like I'm like I'm helping her She's fine. Yeah, but to watch her do that is Trying it's I think our top. It's just a power top in this moment. I'm a power top Yeah, but it's hard in this generation to help because young people have so much more

They have so much more agency now. They have so much more ability to like Get it on their own so to speak you know that we didn't really have when we were young It was kind of like if someone big didn't reach out a little bit right it was really really hard Yeah, I was talking to a guy who was opening for me Who's based in Austin? What's his name? Do I know? I don't know yeah, he had he's he so he started a little behind me in San Diego Which is how I know him and I was in Oklahoma, so we drove up and did him. And he was just talking about, he's like, you know, I mean, Austin's its own unique environment, right?

And it has its own kind of cache. But like those things of like a guy seeing you and taking you out on the road, it's not as common. And he's like, and it's so hard. And when I started, especially in San Diego, because I've never been LA or New York based, I've only been, I was like, I was on the road immediately. road immediately like guys like this is if I'm gonna have a career in this I have you had to be yeah, yeah and someone and people I've been so

Blessed by comics taking me out. Who's the first person that picked you up? So I had First person that picked me up in clubs was a guy named Don Freason Freason I gotta look up Don Friesen. Don Friesen is, you'll love him. He's such a pro. Like just one of these guys that has been a pro since the 90s. I've seen this guy.

Very funny, great writer, just a pure joke guy. He has great, but he's just a comic. And he had a rule where he goes like I'll bring an opener to any club once. You can come with me to every club I do once. And I got good at getting those clubs to bring me back as a feature maybe once or twice more.

I tell comics, that's the goal. Whenever I bring someone, I'm like, suck up to the management, say, can I have a one-nighter? There's only one person here you're trying to impress. That's right. The Booker. That is the only, the first club that I got passed at, the very, when I, you're an open mic'er and you're just trying to get stage hum,

like I was funny, I was doing well, and one night at midnight, he posted, I'm being evicted, can anyone come help me move? And I went and helped him move, and then I was passed the next day. You're like, I'm gonna buy a truck today. I have to go buy a pickup truck. I'm gonna lose $17,000, but I'm gonna go do this.

Exactly, I mean, that's like, and I held on, that's why I tell comics, and all I know is the route that I did is like, hold onto your day job as long as you can, because you can do, if you can afford to lose money on the road, it's gonna help you. When you roll into Oklahoma City to do the Looney Bin there,

and you go buy one subway sandwich footlong or two footlongs for five ten dollars and that's your meal for all weekend. Meals. Oh yeah, you know you're cutting you're not eating a full footlong. What are you nuts? What are you rich? What do you have six t-shirts you're selling after the show? You better slice those off. Yeah, I still have a real love for all those road guys that I used to work with. For sure. I love and Friesen was the first guy to bring me out and then another comic who's based in San Diego who's crazy funny is Zoltan Cassis Yeah, I love him. I know he's so funny. Yeah, and I think he's most underrated comic in the country. He's really talented

He's also not even he's like one of those guys that doesn't get talked about but then you're like, oh he just sold out Gramercy, yeah, like are we calling that underrated still like he has a pretty big fan base we just say that because it's not a commercialization exactly right yeah and he's so great in comics know him and love him he brought me out and then I also just got a lot of bad like like the bonkers rooms you ever do bonkers no oh dude hate to tell you hey yeah did not go through that run no the I didn't go on the road until I could do right Well, you were LA you took a totally different path. Yeah, I didn't have to do those things

I did well I did like triple runs. We've talked about yeah I've done some sure so I did those when I was alone, but then after that I was like I'm just gonna work at LA until I can get to a right improv or a funny bone or a helium I had three mouths to feed There was a good five years there where I would open up the rec center that I was working at, at like, I would do the 4 a.m. shift. Go stay around till like nine or 10.

I was middle management at this rec center. Go to the airport, go to the gig. Go Friday, Saturday, Sunday, sleep in the airport. Wake up Monday, fly home, go to work. Like I would close the rec center on Mondays. Because you could afford to lose money if you had a day job you know it was supplemented those bunkers rooms like I always joke like there was a while where like I I had to

like go all around Vegas before I could perform in Vegas I was like Prim yeah rump yeah blithe yeah yeah Loughlin I'm like I got it surrounded and then when I first got booked in Vegas I'm like I made it right and then I did Vegas is like this actually crappy I don't enjoy these crowds, but no Vegas is a tough tough. We have well. They're not from there No, nobody has anything in common in Vegas, and they also have more stuff to do than come see you. Oh, yeah I hope my night. I always say it's either come see me or go see the Beatles on rollerblades Yeah, it's what are we talking? They're doing both that night by the way right there like and and so those Those bonkers rooms you would do a cold 25. Oh

No intro you would just walk up on stage. Hey Oftentimes you in a room, and then there was like a curtain that was open just playing to the casino Yeah, those people are walking by and then they'd have you for a check for $100 and like a you know a steak coupon You're like I did it and I'm a that's a coupon No, huh? Yeah, like eating in the basement of a casino that'll change your whole life forever That'll make you that when you eat in the employee rooms in the basement. Yeah, which is I mean genuine torture It's like actually like when I use either some bones of the MGM. Yeah, it's gross Yeah, you see the bones of the employees. Yeah when they die there. They just keep them in the basement

Oh, yeah, they don't let their family see them. No, they wheel them around for a couple shifts. They just put them their hands out on the cigarette girls and like, nah, she's still cute. You know? The basements of casinos will do something. Well, it's also the bowels of anything. They just put them in the Mickey Mouse thing

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When you see the basement of an arena, you think, okay, you're playing an arena. Yeah, but you go down there. It is the most sad, cold. Oh, yeah. It's pipes, wires, and it's everything is painted a really like an like kind of a cream Yeah, like I just have very like a boring cream with fluorescent lights Yeah, and you're sitting as the hum of the lights when you're writing. It's like Yeah, it and it smells like wet old food the basements of these things. There's no glory. Yeah, no no, but the laundry It's so gross laundry. Yeah, There's so much laundry at an arena.

It's absurd. You're like, what's going on down here? Is this for the city? Are they also doing the city employees laundry here? It is so, I know people think like, the shine wears off of those things when you do them. I think it's true for a lot of these old theaters too. Theaters too have that.

Some of them are nice. Like I know as an opener in these theaters, like you do the Pabst in Milwaukee it's unbelievable. Yeah. Everything's new. Yeah well they just yeah redid it. It's so nice but dude some of these old theaters you go down you're like I'm gonna I'm gonna stand outside. Yeah it's bad. It's really tough. No it is kind of strange how sad and you and you know you can't poop in that toilet. No. There's no way that's going down. That'll stay. No. Unless a ghost takes it down. Which they do sometimes. If you're lucky. I'm still working. An old rigger upstairs is like, I heard you saw the poop ghost.

You're like, alright. I know you've been here for 142 years. Yeah. No, it is, the clubs still to this day have by far the best customer service to the comic and the best green room experience. Well, the good clubs. The improvs. Yes, but no, no, a lot of mom and poppies, like, you know, Comedy on State, Denver Comedy Works, they still have these things that are like- The A-Clubs, is what I'm saying, yeah, yeah. But they still do the thing where they make you feel like it's a nice place to wait to go on and you feel warm.

And you're happy for your fans? Yes. It's a nice experience down there. I remember, I think you just said it in passing once, I remember Burr saying once, he's like, all I ever wanted to do was work in profs. And the idea, there's like, I just want to play the good club. Right. Where they'll feed me and it'll be nice. Every once in a while, they'll give me $20 for my ride to the airport. Ooh. Unbelievable. Like just little things. And a TV with a nice warm dinner and a couch. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's something about a game zone. Small rooms rooms small green rooms to me are always my favorite

Yeah, because it feels warm. Yeah when you're in the basements of these theaters a lot of times It's a bit and we played a bit of literally cold. It's freezing cold. It's freezing cold I brought a jacket one time to wear just because it was it was a little crisp out and I thought this will be a freezing Room. Yeah, and you're downstairs and he's they've sat with us on the road They're big and empty and weird and sad unless you catch one with like where were what city in Australia We had someone had a an upright piano, and we're he was playing piano and singing songs like that was that's cool That was the other times. It's literally a cold dressing room. It's a bummer down there It's creepy and and sometimes they're not in like a place that you even want to walk around And do you bust when you're doing we bust on the firm Bob and I bust together

But when I'm when I'm headlining by myself and on my tour like I don't bust I fly in fly out I fly hotel fly out. Yeah, it's too. I love the hotel man. Yeah, I don't like the bus Yeah, I don't like the bus is also very um you I think it's super disorienting Yeah, because you do wake up in a new city, and you're like what happened Where are we now when people tell me they sleep well on the bus? I'm like you might have some bad home problems. Yeah, so he's troubling running from out here I sleep like a baby on that thing the thing that's like this on yeah on 66 years Yeah, it's I don't I do not I will not go back on the boat. We always were like feels dangerous. Yeah extremely

The people that are driving it are driving from 1 a.m. Yeah, 7 a.m. Yeah, that's not a healthy time Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I don't care who you are. You're like, how'd you sleep? You're like well at 2 I went yeah, and I hit a thing and I fell out of my bunk, right? So not great Bobby take a fall out of a book. He did he hit his lip or what was his lip? He's like boss's lip and also this guy Notoriously on tour has night terrors so he would wake us up Every on the bus on the bus Bus I sleepwalk sometimes I'd wake up running in the just down the hall and let me tell you something

I'm not sure you would run down the hall. Yeah, you take over the wheel No, but he would walk around but his night terrors concerned me I was concerned the first couple of times then I got used to it Yeah, but they were the shouts were very I was I was abused as a kid because it was please don't know stop It was a lot of please don't know stops. It wasn't like a do you feel like the pressure on the thing or what? Do you get in what's your what's going on subconsciously when that happens I Don't know a lot. Do you not remember him? He was molested Yeah, you know what are like about that? I'm I'm running in a place, and I'm gonna be trapped They're like alone

Yeah, I die like one of them was I was like running down in the woods well following someone with a flashlight And they look back and they turn the flashlight off and I'm he was molested This is and I'm trying to get to the bottom of it I want to get him into therapy to find out who did it bottoms are the theme today. That's exactly right Yeah, but he's a bottom bottom. Yeah, he's a basement bottom. Yeah, it just goes with fine. I'm a mid-level Right. Yeah, we're three stories of bottoms Or I'm that like remember the split level houses where you walk in and there's not anything on that level But you can go up or down right right where I am. That's a very Midwest. We're not we're not sure which

We're not sure where you belong. So I'm not sure some weeks you get to go upstairs Hey, you know this weekend in Spokane. I'm near I might go upstairs, but do you say where do you sell the best? It did markets have toured a lot like I'm a touring comic. That's how and I have a decent online following But it's not crazy. It's like this good enough. You're popular enough. It's good enough. Yeah Yeah, I get a lot of people in airports going Like that have I seen you before yeah, yeah, it's not them yelling Bobby's mom or whatever at you. Yeah. Thank you Yeah, my favorite things together. You're talked about in my home with my 17 year old boy I apologize friends target demo. Oh, you know he likes it. Yeah, and I have to be like

Here's why it's okay that Andrew does Asian voice This is why you can't do it. This is why you can't. You get yourself a Korean best friend. The key is that you have Bobby right there. That is the main key. That's right. Especially with your last name boy. Be careful We have to be really delicate on this thing. We are so Safe man. We are really safe. I get that. Tell him to get a Korean best friend and it's all taken care of. Yeah. No problem. Go get a Korean from Poway. I just don't think that that's gonna serve him long term. No. Well there's a word I actually want to say so I gotta go get a black

best friend. Yes. Yeah your real last name. Yeah enjoy Kil Tony. We're moving to Austin son. 100%. Well, your son could be on Kill Tony if he was extremely incapacitated. If he only fell while running and broke every bone in his body, he would destroy on Kill Tony. They really are kind of like AGT for people that still say racial slurs. That's literally what I said.

It's AGT for the most traumatic handicapped people. I respect it. I respect it. Yeah, it's fun. They're like like cuz AGT does the same thing like yeah but what's your thing right how hurt are you I do are you are you yeah are you like young but look old that'll work do you know Ryan Neemiller do you know him oh yeah yeah like Ryan AGT yeah when he did AGT he talked about he like they would even press me more yeah to like you know he's like isn't this apparent enough that my my disability is literally visible?

Yeah. It's not like it's hidden. Yeah. Where someone's like, I have a speech impediment or I have a thing from a, Right. He's like, it's here and they're like, yeah, but just give us more sad about it.

Make it a little bit sadder. Could you like, make some noises or something? Yeah, yeah. Could you like, just do a thing with the shoulders or something? If you have a tic, could you have a tic? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That would really help us.

Could one of your arms have a tic? Gosh, I need a tic. Yeah, they're pulling it out out at least kill Tony. They do it. They actually pull it out. Yeah, they pull it Well, I'm sorry that's the golden buzzer, I'm sorry your son repeats us in the house Oh, it's funny. He likes comedy and I like kill Tony for the record. Like I like that. Yeah, it's fun We've gotten so big as an industry that we have genres. Yeah, we do like we're like if I like that. Yeah, it's fun. We've gotten so big as an industry that we have genres Yeah, we do like we're like if you like that, that's great If you want this plate if you want that if you want like well, that's what we said about You know when people comment about someone like Matt rife and they talk about that world. It's like Matt. I don't care for you Well, but but I was saying I was gonna say I promise you though whenever comic complains about him

I'm always like I promise he's not taking away any of your audience No, whoever goes to see him. I bet my bank account would not go see you No, and so just let that exist if there's enough to go around There's enough to go there are very few Matt right fans are like give me that 40 year old dad Talks about how hard it is to be married. That's my guy right there. Yeah, these are two worlds Like that's what I never got when people get frustrated someone's like it's like yeah Yeah, you he's you selling out arenas. It's like you write to people that do don't see you Yeah, also when people are like oh, he just says crowd work. Well, you do good Craig do crowd. Go do it

Yeah, it's not it's not by the way what industry is wide open go do whatever you want to do and then make it doing Your thing I I'm against crowd work only because my crowd work clips don't do well, right? I'm against crowd work only because my crowd work clips don't do well, right? Otherwise I would be like this is actually real comedy see I'm making it up I don't I also think that a lot of comics who know Matt were like Hey, man in 2021 this guy was stacking chairs at a show we were doing out of the back of trucks That's right Yeah, and was doing one-nighters in Lexington. Like you can not care for his comedy, whatever.

If you like it, you like it. If you don't, I don't care about that. But like most comics who were in and around Matt at a certain time, you're like, ah, he worked really hard. He did, he did the whole thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He did the whole thing. So it's not like he skipped the line.

No. This isn't like, what's the kid, what's the young kid actor there? Barry Keegan or Kogan, whatever his name is. Barry Keegan? How do you, Barry Keegan? It's like if he just did a, he started selling out of readers, you'd be like, all right. Didn't you get it all already, Keegan?

I don't think there is a lot of skipping the line in comedy. Like you can maybe get some fans like online and go get a show or whatever, but like, especially in the clubs. Yeah, it's a different world. It is a different world, and that's the currency that we all care about, like in the clubs yeah, it's a different world It is a different world And that's the currency that we all care about like is the clubs and you're like yeah But they don't care if you're famous like if you bomb you bomb you don't care your dad is right mom

It doesn't you just got to go have a good set. Yeah, you have the wills one day Fingers crossed Spokane early show I don't have crowd where I don't do a lot of crowd work because I turn it turns very mean with Me right and they don't want you to be mean right just get up annoyed Yeah, I want to hear more about this like cuz you I don't post crowd work clips. I'm not really good at I'm good at crowd work. I just don't we do crowd work in our own way. I just don't like Making a meal out of it cuz it's not it's not what I love the most right and Like writing jokes. I just like performing comedy. Yeah, I just want to do I want you to hear me say some dumb stuff and laugh at it

Yeah, but when I start to get into crowd work sometimes I get frustrated because a lot of times a crowd work their responses are so Annoying that I'm like well I'm gonna come off mean because it's not fun And this is not where I want to go and you're not mean on stage normally No, I don't my stuff is very either self-deprecatory or a comment about culture, and that's kind of it I don't do a lot of political shit I don't yeah well even when you are having like a point of view on your stuff you still come across kind and likable Yeah, I try. It's like it's a

We're in on this huh yeah, it's one of those things that it's so much So that if people are offended by it, you're like well, you just don't like stand up. Oh, yeah You see yeah, you know you yeah or Tammy Pescatelli said that she said comedies for everybody stand-up comedy is not for everybody In fact, and so when people get mad at I'm like this just isn't for you. That's fine. And that's okay, right? Yeah, it's fine. Right you may not you just may not like the way this this sounds We're bigger than we should be as an industry right now anyway Yeah, we're growing supposed to be underground grimy little clubs, which is why I still do small rooms, right? That's why I wouldn't get a guy why that's why I would get bigger if I if I wanted to

We are the slugs of the entertainment as purists here who's talking about how hard it is to fly. That's right finally Someone has a great bit on first class Actually, I just saw someone do a great bit about it I'm not gonna say who but my god is it so fun It's so funny to go see guys in New York that I haven't seen in a long time Yeah And when I go back to see like the new material cuz you when you when you're here when you're with people you see All the time you see a lot of the stuff that they do and yeah

But then when you when I go to New York again, I go see people I haven't seen in a while, it's so fun to go see what everyone's working out. Yeah, and listen, I like, I do a premise that we've all done, but if you have a unique joke, I think about Demetri Martin's plain joke, first class joke all the time. I've never sat in first class,

but I have farted in first class. Yeah, it's so good. I think about it constantly. It's just such a great- It's such a, there's no fat on it. It's a perfect joke. Where do you, it's like, Seinfeld says, well, where do you go? We're done. You know arrived at the destination So yeah, I

Do whatever you want. Yeah, do whatever you want a Seinfeld one of your heroes Yeah, he is yeah. Yeah, I mean I think cuz you're cuz you work pretty clean. I do work clean I don't do it out of like some like moral version of it or where I think it's like I've heard people say like it's a higher version of it, and I don't do it out of like some like moral version of it or where I think it's like I've heard people say like it's a higher version of it and I don't buy that I like to work clean because I like to make something that families can watch. It's great because there's not a lot of it Right. That's like bargot see the same thing. Yeah. Yeah I don't and any and it's good to be able to work clean because anything that makes you edit is good Yeah, like that Demetri Martin joke,

that joke was edited perfectly. And that's the good thing about working clean is you kind of give yourself some restrictions of like, okay, well what word can I state here instead, you know? But yeah, Seinfeld, obviously, I mean, but I don't, like, my favorite comics are like, Regan, Attell, Maria Bamford. Because when I look at those guys, I'm like,

my favorite thing about them is they're silly. And I think silly is like the hardest version of what we do. I love being silly. It's so hard to be silly on stage though, and you're very good at it, but it's like, you're kind of being vulnerable up there. Totally. Because if you're silly and it doesn't work,

then you're just embarrassed. It's very true. You're like I showed you a part of me. Right. It's like. But sometimes being profound is more threatening to me because when you're trying to be profound it's almost like I'm a college professor. Yeah. And that's harder for me to swallow if it if being like see I told you so does wrong yeah it feels is I'll go on out on a limb here and say comedy is important but if you are a comic acting like it's important just trouble just end it yeah I don't want any of this trouble and there is there's a bunch of them there are and

we're gonna look like it we're gonna listen right here in the middle no yeah by the way my editor now is being like I will do that so don't do that I would actually be curious to see your lists of his list yeah, but they would make it mine. It would be like it's mine Andrews Yeah, yeah, I can't wait to see that. He knows less. Yeah, and Tino This will be on variety said you know trash it who he hates live on his show and I pull it out of context I'll be like and then they were talking about Matt right no They'll give you the benefit of the Dow they always do Always do everything is all you know context. It's not dead. I think it's it's at its perf. It's perfect context

Nuance nuance never people have never had more of it. Oh man. We're alive and hum and we threw AI in there, too God bless thank God. Thank God dude really kind of makes enough in fact nothing's real anymore. No neither is this Imagine now we just disappear this whole thing was AI. Oh, man. We haven't recorded any of this No, it's gonna be a big bump for no this is just for us to get in this room the walls fall down You're on one of those Japanese game shows. I pull off my mask. You have no idea you're on You're so much taller and you were Bobby mom yeah Oh, you're so much taller and you were Bobby mom yeah Yeah, the whole time I do I do love seeing fans in public I do love it Yeah, I but I but it is funny when they yell at you they yell something out of context racially inappropriate at you

Yeah, all the time in the Indianapolis Airport. Yeah all the time Come say hi yeah, we'll have a good chuck chocolate, but please don't scream it drinks will be monsters No not a gate for we're in the pre-check line come on Please urine you're over here if you weren't clear with me Maybe and even the guy the guy in clear just this past this this past weekend the guys like how do I know you? The guy who's like beeping me. Yeah, I'm like. I don't know man. I don't know I don't have to tell you that That's the hardest thing to answer. Yeah, guy who's like beeping me. I'm like, I don't know man, I don't know. I don't have to tell you that. That's the hardest thing to answer

because I feel like a dickhead. I'm like, I don't know man, maybe something's on TV or something. He's like, no, no, what is it? And then I'll say, Mark, how do we know him? It's like, oh dude, please don't do this. I'm like falling apart on the inside. Like that gives me the worst anxiety.

I want to, I'm Forrest Gump Jenny. I want to make me a bird so I can fly far far away I wish I could just shoot up into the sky and disappear sounds really hard I don't mind the recognition. I don't Yelling out makes me aggressiveness to of like I feel stupid. Yeah, it's stupid cuz then everyone looks around like who's that? Yeah, we're on yeah, that's a big insecurity for me to feeling stupid I feel stupid in the clear line when it's not shorter than the pre-check line. Yeah, I do it all the time I'm like I'm an idiot. Why did I do it for this? Yeah, and why am I dad would be so mad at me

He is my dad is furious my dad traveled for a living for 35 years still didn't have pre-check Like refuse he's like just get there a few minutes earlier. Yeah, well Why are you not there an hour and a half before the flight anyway? It's like dad I don't why I want to show up and leave he's yeah too bad My dad also flew for a company for 30 some odd years and never once did they put him in first class never once Never one time isn't that insane the first yeah like that's And you're like well sometimes I have to sit in like the back of first class So sometimes sometimes I'm close to the pores. Good God same.'s kind of the same. No, I'll get off the plane. Shut the curtain.

Shut the curtain. You'll shut it yourself. Do you have a thicker curtain? There was a woman that was like, can you help me put up my bag? And she was sitting right behind first class. And I said, no ma'am. No.

You take that back to the scum. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I help. I help. Some huge guy back in 35E. I'm Bobby's mom. No! No, you're not. No, you're not.

She'd be up here. Her son's doing well. All right? That is, by the way, that is very true. Her son does take very good care of her. For the record, Bobby Mom gets taken care of so well. That's great. We flew her out.

We flew her out to Vegas. That's great. She's the most fun. Also, she doesn't want to be there at all, which is even better. Even better energy. I love it. She hated it. We brought her out to Vegas. That's great. She's the most fun. Also, she doesn't want to be there at all, which is even better. Even better energy. I love it. She hated it.

We brought her on stage. She was like bummed in Phoenix. Yeah. She wanted to be on her iPad the whole time. That's great. She actually wanted to bring the iPad out because she was shopping. I was like, this is exactly the energy that he has.

Right. It's identical. But it's also funny, right before the show, they both were just sitting both on their devices. Yeah, both on their iPads. Both on their iPads the whole time no, I mean I I my dad has come to like two of my shows and Both times he's just sat in the green room, and I'm like I mean you could watch I'm right. I bet I know what you do yeah Yeah, I can only connect with my dad so much with this line of work

Yeah, I'm like guys like are you close to your dad? I was like my dad worked for Alaska Airlines throwing bags into planes for 35 years So he was on the ground crew so he started he started in Fairbanks, Alaska when only that's where Alaska Airlines comes from is he born there? No, my dad is from rural, Oregon like Coos Bay, Oregon, which is like a little more tourist down now It's nicer now But it was like he famously went to school with pre-fontaine like that was like, yeah So so he graduated from there and he was like a carpenter

But he has a tough family line and which in proxy makes means I do as well But he but he took a job I don't even remember how he got it But they moved up at Fairbanks and he loved it, Fairbanks, because it was like, Fairbanks was like, Alaska was like barely civilized at that point. It was like the old west, it was like Alaska in the 70s, it was crazy, you know, barely any law.

And so Alaska Airlines is at that point just exists, like Fairbanks, Anchorage, Juneau, Nome, like all those little places down there. And so he works up there, my sister's born up there, but he's like in Fairbanks in the winter throwing things into hands and knees like, you know, and and then I'm like, people are like, did your dad relate to you? I was like, I put on moisturizer, man. Like I, I like, I do this. I have a nighttime routine. Yeah, I have a mouth guard Like I would I don't know a CPAP machine. Yeah, there are multiple times people put makeup on me man

Like that's a thing and then I just go around with my little book my little music little book That's not proud of me. Just doesn't relate to he's not no no spoke to him before the show He was proud of The Tonight Show, because that's the first thing I've done he's heard of. Right. He's like, oh yeah, he goes, and he goes, ah, that's great, I'm so proud of you, so then he goes, that used to be like a big deal.

Thanks, Dad. Yeah, you know what, it did. But he's right, it did. Thank you. It used to be like a huge deal. Right. You know, because he watched Carson. He's like, I remember comedians talking about stories,

and if you got that and you come over and I was like yeah I mean, it's cool now, and now it's like doing this yeah. This is like the same No, I have two tonight shows this week I've said that to multiple comics this week cuz I've we confirmed this and I got the email from the tonight show and I Was like these are actually pretty equal You know which is makes me sad as a comic that this is the same as that yeah, because this sucks Nobody wants to do it. Yeah, this is bullshit. I'm enjoying This is the longest we've talked by yeah, have we come across as friends here in any way?

How is this because we barely know yeah, we don't know each other well No, I've seen we've seen each other a few times. We just don't know each other But you know what's so funny is like I like that a lot of us are a lot of us are ships a lot of us Yeah, yeah Louie and rock were at the at the cellar and I but they both followed me three shows in a row one night and Louie afterwards had some nice things to say about me, and he was like I've never met you yeah I was like no we've never we've yeah

No, so you are stuff like that matters so much as a comic cuz like even though we're a similar age like you Started before me and you're ahead of me So even like you I remember like you followed me on Instagram or whatever and we mess with connect I'm like I'd like to know That you know who I am. Yeah. Yeah, it feels nice. It feels good Yeah, especially as a road guy who's never been in a scene well because you have well I respect the hustle and people that are working hard and that are funny

and you're very, very funny. And also then it's also you're connected with people that I also like and respect. And so that even from afar, I mean, I follow people all the time or I get into watching people that I don't really know at all and never met. And it's nice to see if they're humming along in this other part of the, I really do feel like

it's just we're a bunch of boat captains, we're all out trying to catch a bunch of fish. Yeah. And sometimes you'll dock together. Yeah, everyone's gonna see each other in an airport. Right, that's the best. Oh, an airport hang. Yeah, I do love that. You run into someone, you're like, you wanna go get a drink?

You wanna go to the lounge? Oh, you're... I'll be in the lounge. Well, I'll see you there, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you'll get up here. You'll get up. Do you have a friend in town on the lounge. Well. I'll see you there man. Yeah, you're here Give her a friend in town on the road, and they want to meet up and you're like All the time yeah, what do you mean all the time? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? That's like in my bed That's like the bane of my exit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, if you come to the show if I'm already there. Yeah, that's great Otherwise, I'm leaving no I I'm in and out dude. It's Saturday. It's college football season

I just want to sit in this room I'll be in my hotel room eating room service. Yeah, yeah fapping fapping happen. They don't have room service at courier Marriott Yeah, yeah, they're good. No. They're going to next next year. We did upgrade you guys did that Yeah, I said I told them to I think down to the bistro. It's only for titanium's You are titanium. I'm very yeah only for titanium level by the way have you have over a million miles Yeah, yeah, same. Yeah, I almost have it on Delta I almost have it on two. Oh really what's your number two? Delta's to Americans number Americans number one that's except my country, and I love where I come from yeah

That's great Delta red white and blue out of Atlanta, Georgia. Nothing American about that place But at all you you you said it not me. Yeah, you said it not me. Yeah, American is the one We're out of Dallas, and guess what? Dallas, America. Dallas, America's team. Great team. Great team. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Great winning team, like American Airlines. A great winning team. Great winning team, always happy. How about this, who's crash more, Delta or American? And by the way, if I can give Americans some credit, we did take down two buildings. So. Wow. What's more American than that? I thank God.

Domestic terrorism. Build it just to break it down. Yeah. That is what we do culturally, so why not? You showed that you were such a strong American product, you could destroy a different American product. That's right. A weaker American building.

The airline with the most crashes, number one is a tie between one of the ones you guys listed. Yeah. And Air France. Oh, Air France, they do be crashing. They do be crashing. Air France be crashing. American Airlines.

Yeah! Congrats, man. You got a little risk to your flying. I told you. I don't like safety. Well, you're dead on the inside. That's right, dude. Sometimes you start to feel something in our age.

I'm sitting here and I'm rotting. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I want some jeuge. Yeah, Air France. Delta's not in this. They got like 11 on there. Delta's too safe. No, Delta.

There's not a lot of them. A lot of them are Air France, China Airlines, Korean Air, Pakistan. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. USA. USA. Jesus Christ, good slow down, all right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Are those commercial airlines?

Yeah, I don't know. China's just a guy out of China, just a billionaire out of China that flies once in a while. No, I was a Delta boy for a long time because the planes are nicer but American has way more options all the time everywhere I go that's all I care about at this point like who has the most options and who's the cheapest yeah so I jump around a lot yeah I'm Delta and Southwest almost always yeah I like Southwest because it's different every once in a while but I'm gonna be one of

these I can't do that yeah I do it it once in a while when I have to your power bottom. It's no it's more that I feel so uncomfortable It's very uncomfortable the seats are church meet-and-greet. Yeah, everyone's shaking hands. They're also happy on that It's physically uncomfortable and everyone's very extroverted on there. Yeah, they're doing jokes. They're doing like that thing either No, no do open mics like the rest of us. Yeah, dude line up, but my wife loves it She loves she laughs it cuz my wife's like a normal human being right not a monster like me and you she's not shattered Like if I even if they're funny, I'll just go that's funny That's all I'll give them. I hate it, but really I'm mad I put on my headphones and I look down but I like the two free check bags

I like that is status on airline doesn't matter anyway on Delta. Yeah Yeah, no, I just don't I Southwest to me is just because being a little bit taller the seats are comically uncomfortable Yeah, they hit my knees. Yeah, that is one of the things that I heard rejoice That about tall people's that you heard on planes if we want and I've that's one of the few yeah That's even worse. Yeah, I deserve it. No, not the bad back. Bad knees, sure. Bad knees, I deserve it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But bad back, no one deserves that. You spend so much time on these things at the beginning of your career

that you just gotta pay for it later. Yeah, again. Shout out to Harvey. Yeah. Miss you, buddy. Again, telling my dad that. I was like, oh, it's just all the sitting. I know.

It's just this thing, you know, I go in the sky in my little adult high chair. I had your shit down all that time. And they bring me my well snackies my water But sometimes if I sit too long my back he hurts And then dad I'm in a different bed every night That's not good. That's like I made a medal and I have to drink pills for breakfast Hey, it's like I literally built your bed as a child It is no incredible that we're the weakest we're the weakest where our profession has me so much more money than him

It sucks. Would you give any to him? No? Yeah, you shouldn't know do not pay it No, as a matter of fact when I first started my career. He lived with us and I charged him rent Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah, San Diego is expensive It really is dude the rec center was not great money in that road, you know as much as you think Whatever you think Middle weekend at the Looney Bin in Tulsa pays, it's less. It's half. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Half of what you think it is. Freezin told me that once I was doing Chicago Xanies. Good club, this is a good club. Downtown. Yeah. And I like the Rosemont one too, they're both nice. Yeah, it's great. It's like, it's literally in the O'Hare parking lot. I know, I don't wanna go up there.

It's not an area of town where you're happy to be in, but the club is beautiful. And anyway, so I do it it and at the end of the week I've done like six shows or something like that some run and and he goes Can I see your check and it was for like six hundred dollars or whatever and he's like I don't know if it's gonna make you feel better or worse. I Featured here in 1996 and that was the same amount of money. I was like you way worse Do you think there's gonna make me feel better?

That's way worse. Yeah, what are you talking about? And then I get to the airport and it's an oversold flight and I'm coming back to my daughter's dance recital and they're doing that thing where they're auctioning. Oh, the money for the tickets? The money thing. Love that.

And I'm like, but I'm like, how much? I'm putting a monetary value to attending my daughter's dance recital. Won't be her last one. Yeah. They're gonna have another one. I was like, you know what you really like they're giving out thousand dollars to Best Buy right now Flatscreen daddy's gonna bring home a TV. Yeah, that's gonna be that is a big actual That's a big problem that we've talked about a lot of comics headliners. I really get a frustrated about

The same pay has been the same for features for a long time now. Yeah, and that does need to stop I've said that to a lot of clubs I talked to a lot of managers and owners of clubs and they kind of give me a runaround But I've said it enough where I need to start making other headliners spread it because I do think you know Headliners typically supplement like I'll pay I'll pay my features more than obviously than the club was gonna get them And and I don't mind doing it. We shouldn't have to yeah I do think it's bullshit that these clubs are paying the same money because Inflation and the what money is worth and what things cost now the fact they still get away with it

I'm not I'm not cool with it. I think it's I think it's gross people would do it for free Yeah, but that's not the point of I know it's not yeah, it's the reality I know But I think I still think they need to adjust because they're making more money now than they ever have they're selling more wings and more Beer at a higher price yeah, and they're still making a lot of money on those tickets and tickets are more expensive than they were in 96 too yeah so I don't like it so all these clubs were built off of rooms that were like 90 seaters like those old models they're based off an old zanies so they're like hey we

actually have a cap on how much money these 600 C clubs the improvs you have like 500 see yeah yeah yeah give me a fucking break you're they're making plenty of money I don't really like it as much it bothers me. It's nice. You pay I tried to yell about that because I don't like it But all I do is it doesn't do anything and then I just supplement by paying Paying more than right what they were gonna make well good the artist pays more great. Yeah, right That was that's what the clubs really wanted. Yeah, it's on us and as it should be All right, this will be out by the the way, after your Tonight Show appearance. And you did great.

No, you did really good. Did it? And we'll put the link in the description below to watch it on YouTube, because they put it up the next morning. So you'll be able to watch it. If you want to go see him crush. If you want to see him crush, crush, crush, crush.

Oh man, I hope this is a bomb. Click in the link description. Also, he's on tour, and his website is called the Big Burley Daddy, or the the big burly bear which one? Dustin the n-word calm Dustin the n-word Dustin Nickerson Dustin Nickerson calm go see him live You are one of the funniest people that I've had on this show and that doesn't say much because I've had a lot of really Really really funny just losers. Yeah on the show

Name names. Oh easy money put up that list again of really really really funnies just losers yeah on the show but name names Oh easy money put up that list again but go to Dustin Nickerson comm go see him watch his watch his tonight show appearance and also watch his special that's also on YouTube we can put that in description below it's called runs in the family runs the family and and the only one that does is actually your son who is 420 mile on my. My wife ran in college too. She's very fast. Not like your son though.

Let's be real. I mean, she's a woman. What does that mean, dude? What does that mean? You can't compete. She runs from domestic violence. I get that. Yeah, yeah.

She runs from violent men chasing her in the streets. Go watch him live. Go see him live. Support live comedy. It means a lot to us. Look in that camera right there. You say one word or one phrase to end the episode. Whatever strikes a chord.

If you feel like it's a word that's powerful enough to end the episode, so be it if you need to get something off your chest, you can do that too. Bottoms. In here, we pour whiskey. Whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey. Oh, that creature in the ginger beard. Sturdy and ginger. Like that, the ginger gene is a curse.

Ginger's a pugilist. You owe me five dollars for the whiskey and seventy-five dollars for the horse. Ginger's a pugilist. Ginger's a pugilist. Ginger's a pugilist. Ginger's a pugilist. Ginger's a pugilist. Ginger's a pugilist.

Ginger's a pugilist. Ginger's a pugilist. Ginger's a pugilist. Ginger's a pugilist. Ginger's a pugilist. Ginger's a pugilist. Sturdy and ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are beautiful. You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse. Gingers are hell no. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers.