Whiskey Ginger with Andrew Santino - Earthquake Gets Real About Comedy | Whiskey Ginger

Episode Date: January 23, 2026

Welcome to Whiskey Ginger — a Wave series. Andrew Santino sits down with comedy legend Earthquake for a raw, hilarious conversation about stand-up, longevity, and telling the truth on stage no matter who it makes uncomfortable. They talk about Earthquake’s Netflix special Earthquake: Legendary, his decades in comedy, the difference between old-school comics and today’s scene, and why authenticity always wins. This episode is packed with perspective, big laughs, and real comedy history. Watch Earthquake’s Netflix special Earthquake: Legendary now streaming In this episode: • Earthquake on building a long-lasting comedy career • Stories from the road and the early days of stand-up • Why honesty still matters more than trends • Santino and Earthquake talk comedy, culture, and crowd control #WhiskeyGinger #AndrewSantino #Earthquake #EarthquakeLegendary #ComedyPodcast #StandUpComedy #PodcastClips #Comedians SUPPORT OUR SPONSOR SQUARESPACE USE PROMO CODE: WHISKEY GET 10% OFF YOUR ORDER https://squarespace.com/whiskey Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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a wave series. Hey, tonight, tonight, I'm in Hanover, Maryland. Come on out, Baltimore, or anybody in the surrounding area, come out and see me, the Hallet Live. Tomorrow I'm in the Borgara at Atlantic City, New Jersey. Then I'm in back to Southern California by San Diego at the Harrison Valley Center. Then I go to Canyonville, Oregon for Lovers Day, February 14th. Bad Friends is doing one show up there in Lincoln, California by Sacramento. Then I'm at the win in Las Vegas, Viva, Las Vegas. Then I'm at the Little Roadie Fest out there in probably. at the end of March. Come see me at Andrew Santino.com.

Those tickets are at Andrewsantino. Dot com. In here, we pour whiskey, whisk, whisk, whisk, whisk. You were that creature in the ginger beard. Sturdy and ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Ginger's a fugitive. You only $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse.

Ginger's, oh, hell now. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Whiskey Dinner. My guest today is one of my favorite people on Earth. I say that for all my guests, but I mean once again. Today, it is Earthquake.

Ladies and gentlemen, the joke-telling business. Joke-telling business. That's right. Cheers. We're having ourselves. Earthquake walked in and said he didn't want to have anything to drink. Then he saw a little old Rip Van Winkle here 10-year, and he said, you know, maybe go get me an ice cube or two, and I'll have a little sip. Yeah, I got a little bite to it, too.

Yeah, it'll kick you. Oh, God damn. Worms your soul. Yeah. I feel like a cowboy just ran in, you know, came into the saloon. I'll take some say, spirilla. Yeah. Through the motherfucking corn on the bar.

Lead a bottle. Oh, this is strong. It's good, right? Yeah, it's a little strong. It's, I think it's 107 proof. Woo. Delicious. Shit.

What do you drink when you're drinking? McCallin 18. Your big Scotch guy. Yeah, I'm a Scotch. I do a T-DOT when I want to go white. The world is white, so you've got to mix it. For some of us. For some of us, it is.

Celebrate. Y'all are in a good time. It's your season. Wait, but you didn't hear what happened in 2025. Last year, I'm a redhead. We got nominated as like black adjacent. The black community embraced us as black adjacent. Ain't nothing wrong with it.

We know what y'all been through. Well, because we're different, right. We're so different that they kind of, they grouped us as non-white but not black. We're kind of in an island on our own. like we were when we first were right How many of us? I mean, which are count? How many redheads are left? I don't know.

How many redheads are on earth right now? Let's take a, we'll gamble, let's take a guess. I'm thinking on earth, out of 8 billion people, there's got to be, I would say, less than, I would say maybe two or three million redheads. What do you think? Maybe. If it's, fucking, get y'all five.

That's what I mean, y'all can't do that. How many? 140 million. 140 million. There's more of us than you think. 40 million redheads. 13% of Scotland, 10% of Ireland. You got to remember, most of us are in hiding.

Why are you hide? Well, I don't need to because if you're above a five on the look scale, you're allowed to be out in public as a redhead. But if you're an under five, if you really are a decrepit ginger, they keep us away. You got to hide. You have to go away. Yeah, I need some self-esteem.

Because, you know, ugly people come out in all the nominations. They don't care. You know what I mean? Yeah, they do. in your face. But ugly and redhead is really a double man. That's a two-for-one. No, the redhead, I mean,

in Latino, like Mexican, redhead means you're the chosen one, ain't it? That would they used to say that about Camelo. Canelo, Conello, Conello, Conello, the redhead. He was the chosen one. Yeah. If I'm in a...

I don't know that's for a fact. No, no, it's true. How would they used to say? If I'm in a big Mexican neighborhood, I will get a Canello yell. once it'll go, Canelo, hey Canelo from across the street. Have you ever smashed a redhead? Yeah, I did.

Yeah, I did a red on red. Naturally red? Yeah, natural. None of the fake shit. No fake. So is it red down there too? Yeah, well, it was shaved, but yeah, I imagine before it was shaved. It was red.

Damn, that might look creepy. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. That might look creepy. Damn, you got me curious, but I'm married now. Have you ever had? Have you ever had a red? Never.

Never. But have you tasted all the continents? No. No. What are you talking? Only? I'm a segregated. Only black guy.

I mean, they're the only one to hit on me. I mean, no way. No, I've never, no. White girls never hit on you ever? I don't believe that shit at all. No, really. Really? No, I'm never.

Why do you think that is? Well, women don't hit on me period anyway. Not anymore. No, I mean, before. Because you're married. Before I was married. They didn't. Hell no.

What are we talking? You're telling me about self-confidence. What are you saying? You walked around. You're a successful comedian who's been famous for 40 years? 305. Okay. So what are you talking?

You're saying women never hit on you? I don't say never, but women don't hit on me. Certain dudes we call it closers. They meet a one who they know. I'm not a closer. No? No. You're an opener?

Beyond an opener. Yeah. For me to get on a woman is she has to be, I like you. My reconnaissance is terrible. And I'm not a hunter because I hate to be rejected. Right. Oh, that one walk, when you walked over there, asked that girl to dance,

and she said, no. And all your friends lied out of it, last time I ever asked any of you, you motherfuckold for anything else again. You won't get me again. Do you have a story like that, a bad rejection story when you were young, all the time.

I mean, in the community, you have women dancing on the floor, and you come dance with, and they go sit down. To my motherfuckering story. They sit down. Yeah, they're dancing. That hurts.

And you come on the back on all that. They turn around and see it as you and stop dancing and go sit down. Kind of bullshit is that. How do you get that kind of shit? You're like, no. No, you're good. I'm good, man. I wrote a note to a girl my freshman year, and I've slid it under her door.

And I saw her laughing with other friends about the note I wrote her, and that one stayed with me for a long fucking time. It scars you don't. It hurts. I still remember me walking over there. I was like 11. We had the school, dance, or house party.

She's standing over there. All her friends are dancing. I come over there and ask her that now I want to dance. I had to walk back with my friends laugh. Next, my fuck, couldn't even been a hot minute. Motherfurt come and ask her to dance, the football dude. She got up here grinding with him in there, man.

Not let me new. You can't trust these, my father. You can't. Oh, no. You could have danced with me, y'all. Yeah, she should have. That's why, to be honest with you, people would be saying, I dance with everybody when I be at the club.

Sometimes my friend, like, man, you're dancing with this chick. I mean, some real non-show business type dancers. You know what I mean? My friend's like, well, I said, I know how she feels. Somebody got to dance with her. You know what I mean? Somebody's got to dance with it. I mean, it don't cost me nothing to make her day.

You know what I mean? I've been there before. And now you're in the day making business. So I reversed it. Fine chicks to ask me and dance. They're like, no, I'm straight. That's your charity. Yeah, I come back over there and dance with a chick with her feet all out.

Dressed the outfit. The coat girl. You know what I? Yeah. The coat girl. She watched the coats while everybody else go dance. She watched the drinks. Yeah.

Yeah, stay back. Yeah, she usually the driver. She just drive them there. Don't know why asking the dance. They're the ones I'll be knocking off. Dance with a Coke girl. That's the lesson learned today. Yeah, she watched the coats.

In the purse. Why they go dance. You know, you know, you stay right here. Don't know why ask her to dance. We'll be back. What is her name usually? Oh, man. Who's the Coke girl? You know she's got a name.

Yeah, she got a name, but nobody knows it because nobody never asked. Only person knows what the motherfucker checking for. her ID. They let her anybody else in. They want to see her ID. They're looking for a violation. Yeah. It's a student ID you need a government one. Oh, stop that Todd. Let her in. No, I'm not losing my job over her. She needs a goddamn state ID, not a school ID. The feet out of the shoes is hilarious. I saw that right away. Falling out of those sandals? Yeah, falling, toe over the side is so funny. And she slide. It's a, it's a, it's a, It's a constant slide when she walked, because the shoes are rotating. I watch she got big calves.

Because it slides when I dance with her. Yeah, you'll dance with her. No, because I know. I know how that feel. You've been there. Oh. When you were a kid, were you in high school? Were you popular in high school?

No, my brothers were. And then I hung around my friends that was in, we have go-go bands in D.C. And he was, his name was Dave, and he was part of the go-go-bo-bans. and I hung with him. So I got to see how women treat men that had a little juice with him. Well, you had that great perspective. You got to sit back and watch,

you watch the angle. Yeah, that's pretty great. And they was crude like that too. Like, we're in 10th grade, but they are grown. They have schedules like grown-ass professional musician. I didn't know it at the time. Because they are, on a school day, they would go and play at an arena, a big-ass theater.

And we're being at 4 o'clock in the morning at 14 years old. And they'd be cranking, playing the instruments called red asses. And we go, and we used to get our ass for being out there that late. But it was worth the ass for because when you go back to school, everybody was there. And you ain't want to be the only nerd that I was saying, hey, man, they was cranking. And you were there? I was at home. Good fuck out of here.

So it was worth to ask for them. That being said, I learned how women treated because one of my friends, like I said, Dave, he had come to school, and girls would be waiting for them in class, talking about, I know you had to work last night. Y'all was cranking. I was there.

You didn't get a chance to do your homework, so I know you ain't a chance because you was working. Here, I did it for you. Just put your name on the top of the tape and turn it in. And I said, well, I was there, too. She said, fat nigga, get an education. You ought to be a shit. with yourself out here hanging in anything else.

They're not going school. I ain't doing your shit. I said, bitch. I said that to myself. I was like, all right. Yeah, so I knew nobody was going to do my homework, but they did his homework. Dave.

And yeah, his name Dave and Little Benny. He was light skin, so he had all the women. Little Benny, little Benny. Where's he today, you think? Do you know? He's rest in peace. He's gone. Yeah, he's gone.

We all went to high school. I'm still. No of them. We ain't been in contact. The band is still there, but the original players has changed. Dave, Dave's not around either?

No, Dave is. He in North Carolina. Now that motherfucker. He got kicked out the group when we was in high school. He just couldn't stop being, you know. I never understood. How are you late for band practice?

Yeah. You made up the time. Yeah, it's your band. It's a band. You know what I'm saying? The fuck is, you know, they used to suspend them for shit, like that, I was late for band practice.

It's a bad. It's a band. It's all this discipline in the band. Figure it out. Y'all are musicians. You're the sex drug, rock and around, down. They hold you, I said, they want to put you out, man. They did.

They kicked his ass out. Yeah, they kicked him. So, well, you didn't play sports at all when you were young? No. No. No athletic ability at all. First of all, again, you just ain't going to holler at me. As a coach.

Yeah. Once they start hollering. and shit. Like, who are you talking to? You went into that shit? No, you don't talk to me like that. Football, that shit was too painful. Yeah.

Basketball, they holl at you. Fuck running up. And football hit me. No. I'm hitting you back. Fuck this shit. You know what I'm saying? So I just sat in the bleachers in Washington talked about them.

Were you talking shit in high school? Is that where you kind of started? Well, I never said it too loud because they, you know, back in them days motherfuckers they can take constructive criticism ass whippers

was included just we have the pundits I think my job is to talk shit about you nah and my job is

to whip your motherfucking ass you know what I'm saying you couldn't haul a shit to grow big motherfuckers like that

you saw a motherfucker shoot the ball you get your ass who so it was more internal when did when did the comedy

really start to get in your blood, though? Like, when did you really start to figure out that that's what you wanted to do? Was it around high school? No. No, this was an epiphany, man. I never did anything comedic. First of all, I didn't even know being a comic was an occupation.

Sure. You know what I knew about the Richard Pride and all that, but I knew him theatrical. I did the movies. Yeah. My mother and father, him watching his, hearing his tapes and shit like you heard about it, but the guy ain't doing shit with my mother if I'm trying to get outside. I can sit around and listen to no shit with them.

You understand you? And plus, they're not there to, you know, to allow us to hear it anyway. So I never knew that. And what got me into it, as usual, I was in the military for nine years, and I hated my job. I just hated working anyway.

And I was trying to find anything to get out of not doing my job, which was loading nuclear weapons for a living. and I just did Tops and Blues, tried that shit out. And then I knew I was getting out to the military after being in the nine years. I said I got to find what I'm going to do. So I started looking at other motherfuckers do different stuff. And I took this girl to see this comedy shit.

She was playing it on her TV and it was a dis and everything. And this motherfucker was laughing like shit, falling all under the table. I ain't going to say who comedian was. And I just say it too. I said, if you want to fuck them, you just say you want to fuck them. But if you ain't that funny. She's like, you're just hating on the man. I'm like, no, that's funny.

But they ain't the funny shit I ever heard for you to be all under the table. Just fuck them. So she was like, if you think you could do better than do it. I was like, I don't know if I can do better than that. But, nigga, that ain't the funny shit I heard for you. Let me out of here. She said, you want to fuck that dude. So the next time we went to a comedy club and I tried it and it was cool.

And, you know, I'm going to go ahead. And it was just the options of what I'm going to do. I'm going to try this and that. And I just got with coconuts and they put me on. Tom Wilson just put me on a couple of things. You were with Tom Wilson? Mm-hmm. Yeah, doing like doing co-headlining shows?

Yeah, well, he was headlining. I was opening. Right. Yeah. And I went to see Steve Harvey and said, I want to be a comic. He told me what it takes and this and that. I said, let me try it out.

I'll say, well, something else to come along. Let me just try the shit. But it was never an occupational desire of this. I am more surprised that this is my calling than anybody on this world. Really? Yes. What did you think was going to be your land?

What did you think you were going to land at eventually? I don't know what I was going to do, but I knew I was going to be successful because I'm not a struggling type. You know what I mean? You're not good at that. I'm not good at struggling. And you know what I mean? I have to produce certain amount of income to take care of certain things I ain't doing. Like, I'm not cleaning up.

I got to make enough money to find something. somebody to clean up for me. You get what I'm saying? So before I can get a woman, before I can get this or this, these are the certain things in my life that I have to accumulate enough. And I knew I was going to be successful enough because my mother told me you don't, you're going to have to hire a lot of people.

You're going to need more than the average person. Oh, you're going to need a lot of people. Because this is the shit you say you ain't going to do that you ain't going to do. and not to do it. You need somebody to do it for you. So to ask you a question on it, it was just tried it one day

and nothing better as came along. How old were you when that happened? 26, 27. Okay. I was in my 20s. Yeah, I was in my 20s. That's what I'm saying. When I hang with Dave and Chris Rock

and he, all the comedians, I knew it in high school. I knew it in it. That's why I don't do shit for my family. motherfucker was like, nigga, you knew I had this and there ain't nobody tell me shit.

Fuck out of here. You don't deserve shit. Look at the middle of living great. Right. Y'all, if you've seen all this, you ain't ever bringing them my attention. Yeah, you should have told me. Yeah.

I'd like to know. Thank you. Yeah. Just tell them all fucking, son. Nothing better came along is probably one of the funniest things I've ever heard in my life. Nothing better came along.

But you hated the military. You hated working so much in the military. He was like, I got to get the fuck out of it. Well, I knew they were getting tired of me. Well, you weren't going to be a lifer. You weren't going to work. I mean, if ain't nothing better, came along, I would have stayed for 20 years. You know?

Collect a pension and say goodbye. My thing is, why get out to just do something that you already got? So what made me get out, the war broke out. So I told the motherfuckers, I don't mind practicing for war. But y'all fighting for real. This is with this relationship. Right. Yeah.

You know what I mean? I'm down for the drills. I just don't want to do it. Yeah, man. I'm not going over here and fight for war. No oil. I don't even have a car. You've got to send BP or Exxon over that.

Right. I don't give a son. Solomon Hussein take all the oil in the Middle East. Fuck you bringing it to a nigga in the car for. The tongue on is our natural interest. No, it is. My fucking yours. The gas station.

Right. It ain't mine. I ain't going on. Oh, shit. I could have stayed at home to get shot at. What the fuck I'm going over there for? And y'all got to understand. This is the time that they told us he had chemical warfare.

for chemical war, I mean, war agents. Right. That he had all of... Weapons of mass destruction. Yes. Weapons of mass destruction. But more than the chemical aspect of it. That we had to be over there fighting in our goddamn suits with the air mask on and everything on it.

We trained on that shit. I always died. With the simulated war, nigga. I was the first one of the motherfuckers die. Shit went underneath my mask I ain't put on. Fuck I'm going over that real one for. nigga you killed me every time we do this exercise you tap me on the shoulder you dead

motherfucker you got your gloves out in the can't live fuck I'm going over there phone you died every time every war every simulated war I died fuck I'm gonna go over the real my fuck fuck that fuck that's that's the you'll be the dumbest motherfucker you die I've been in nine years

nine straight years I have died in every exercise in a simulated war and you want me to be be the first go for the real one. Somebody's trying to kill me, man. Yeah, you got to get out. I got to get out. When you left the military, did you go to the West Coast first?

No, I went to Atlanta. Oh, that's right. I do know that. I went to Atlanta because CNN said that's the blessed place for black men to prosper. And is it? That would they say, and I've never been there before. I said, fuck it. Why not?

No, because I'm from Washington, D.C. You do nine years in the military. He didn't go back to where he was at. And as black, that's acid to be in illegal pharmaceuticals. That's an episode of power, nigga. 50's writing that line right now. Right now.

Got out the military went shit for him. My uncle Sam gave him 20G so he copped the key law. Say that's believable. You understand? That's my option. I go up that mom and say, man, I know you got all that discharge money. Yeah.

Keys going for $14,000. You can just give me the $14,000. I'll bring you back $20,000. I bring you back $20,000. Right. In here we pour whiskey, whiskey ginger is brought to you by Squarespace. I've talked about Squarespace so much on this show. You must be nauseated, but I got to tell you, I built my site with Squarespace.

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Ginger. I like gingers. What'd you do in Atlanta when you first moved? How were you making money? I just, no, I was just, first of all, I got my unemployment. Yeah. And the money that I had for getting released. It's about 20 Gs.

And back in then, Atlanta was affordable, motherfuckerank. Rent was $450. $450. 400 the month? 400. And I went with four of my other friends. So all them got out to the war broke out. I was telling the same thing.

You died in simulated war. You just ain't your war, man. Tell the motherfuckers hollering at us when they get to the United States. Right. Call us when you get back. We ain't going over there. You don't even know no Kuwaiting. The fuck you're defeated to Kuwait.

Who is this, nigga, Kuwait? Nank of a lot. So we all four got out. And we moved to Atlanta. And that one, Atlanta was Atlanta. Atlanta was, I mean, we were city boys. We were from Washington, D.C., New York, Cleveland, Denver. And we had seen the world.

We're going to Atlanta. Atlanta was still with the southern part of it. It was so ripe. They even allow you to pump the gas and then go pay them. Oh, that's wild. We are the reason why you have to pay for shit. Because we ain't pay for shit. We like, this motherfuck is on.

Yeah. This pump, we're looking around and then they look at this car. We all, y'all's on, too, y'all's on, too. Let's go. No, we was shocked. We were like, this got to be a setup. Right. So the first time you pay.

And you're like, and then you talk to the cash, you like, man, my pump was on. You say, yeah. And they look at us like we're stupid. Right. No, you pay when you finish pumping. We're like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, y'all leaving moon all the time. You're like, yeah.

Fuck around with you. Like, shit. Pump that gas, lay that motherfucker. Holes on the ground. Because, see, when you put it back in, that allows the beeper going in and let you know they finish. That you finish and you look out and see you. But if you lay that bitch on the ground

and the machine think it's still pumping, you're like half-win Marietta. Before that dink to look out there, Well, I thought it was on, but I don't see nobody. Because that motherfuckers is in the trash can. That's why you don't see no fuck about it. We're gone, motherfucker. We was robbing them.

They was on the news. There's been a rash of gas stillers in our city. We're like, that's us. That's why, what is it in Jersey? They won't let you pump your own shit. You've got to pull in Jersey and they come out. They have to be. Them you and you're going to keep a job.

Oh, yeah. You can't pump your own. listen, man, we'll sell you a gas station, but we pumped the gas. That's exactly right, yeah. Let me understand, you don't pump the fucking gas. Because we need to know who getting gas in this motherfucket. So we can get our fair shit. Right, they're counting.

So when you're in Atlanta, you're with your friends from the military. Yeah. And then you started doing stand-up in Atlanta. Yeah. And then what took you to L.A.? Was it being on tour with deaf comedy and all that stuff? No, man. Me and we had to fallout with my partner because I owe.

three comedy clubs and, you know, Uptown Comedy Corner, Quakes, Quakes Comedy Club, and another one in Texas. And I had no ambition or desire to come to Los Angeles. All my friends, when I first started doing this, and it was it. Like I told you, it was no, it just was a blessing that it happened, but I didn't have the desire to be in L.A. Right.

You got to understand. I got like a military, and I'm getting a lot of money for standing on stage for just being me. And, you know, Chris Tucker was like, come on, let's go to Hollywood. I'm like, Nick, go down to this sweet motherfucker. You've been living here your whole life. I ain't going nowhere. And all my friends was telling me, come on, you need to go to L.A. I'm like, nah, man, I'm sweet down here because I'm all my own comedy club.

I was doing my investments. And anytime somebody wanted to see me, they had to get me. out of Atlanta you had to pay a retail on the sole. Me and my partner had failed out. The story is, ain't worth discussion. And to keep from doing anything ignorant about it

on the other way of the betrayal of it, I just went on the left of Atlanta and came straight out to LA. And me and Billy Gardell was Love him. Yes. That's my friend. Me and him had the same manager, Krista Petter. And Billy was coming out

here. So we both came up at the same. time. He's the best. We lived across the street from each other. And me and Billy used to hang every month and day and just sitting there. Like he had his son, when I had my son, he got married when I got married for my first marriage. He moved out the neighborhood and I was so fucking happy that he got his show and he was on and it was it. And I was just out here like, do I really want to do TV?

I was still making a lot of money on the road. It's a different location from flying from L.A. to Atlanta. But, yeah, that was the whole fucking story. That's the only reason I came out to L.A. And now that I got out of here, you wake up one morning. You're like, damn, you've been up in this bitch for 15 years. Because it's perfection of it. There's no season.

Yeah. So, you know, when you live out east, that bad winter of 94. You know, it gives you this motherfucker is the same every day. Every day. You know what I mean? So you have no season changing of the growth. You lose the time that you have been here because the seasons don't change. Oh, big time.

I've been here 20 years. Yeah, you just felt like you just got to this moment. Somebody, you came in 2000. I'm like, God damn. That's right. I'm going to 26 fucking years. I've been out here longer than I've been anywhere in my life. And I tell you, it's a weird thought

because then now you're California is home, home, home. It's home. It's weird. Definitely now. Yeah. I mean, I've been out here so long. I get some money.

I gotta get this. No, you're doing good. No, you're doing great. You got a new special on on Netflix and please go watch that. The joke telling business is out on that. But you have two specials on Netflix, but this one's out now.

Yes. Yeah, you got a new one out now. Yes. Would you film this? I think it was May. I filmed it in Atlanta. Oh, in Atlanta, yeah. Yes, I did Legendary at Home, because I'm from D.C.

And then I had to do the second one in Atlanta because that's where I was born and raised in comedy. They made earthquake. Yeah. You know what I mean? So I will always be indebted to Atlanta. What theater was it at? Buckhead Theater. Oh, I love Buckhead.

Yeah, Buckhead Theater. It's my most proudest special. because man, I call it the Michael Jordan flu game. This is your flu game special? Yeah, it was my flu game special. I had bad sinuses, and the motherfuckers that pop up any fucking time, and it popped up there. Drainage and sex sinus infection.

And you know when you can't go to next one, say, I don't feel good today. Let's shut all this production down. We're going to come back a month from Thursday. Only Dave Chappelle can do that. Yeah, he can do that. Dave can tell him like that. Me, me, me.

No, there's the me. Ain't feeling it. He's the man. But for us, I mean, for me anyway, you got to play that game. Or assume the responsibility financially of what it costs. I don't want to do that. You don't want to do that.

I don't want to pay for everybody. No, thank you. I'm good. Twice. We'll shoot. We'll shoot. You understand. Cameras up.

You don't want to pay for them twice. No, no, fuck that. You paid them for the night, and then they got to come back and shoot the one that you feel better at. Me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, and what people don't understand this about comedians is this ain't nothing different than any other time

that occupational hazard that we deal with every year. Right. No time to, just like a football player, athlete, no comedian gets on that stage 100% healthy. No, no, you're going through something. No, no. through something. Something is up or down.

Something is up and down right there, and we have to play anyway. The true professional ones. Yeah. You get to me? You do. Like, some of them leaned on, like for me, for my special,

I just leaned on the material. Yeah. You understand? Yeah. Tick-like the material, get it is, and it'll speak for itself. Well, you did it enough. You've done it enough.

Like you're professional enough that you just know what to do, but to be sick during a filming is crazy hard. It's the hardest, man. Everybody coming with their home remedies and shit. Take this goose and soak it in the clear your throat out. Just, you know what I mean? Because they want to see you heal because they see it.

And it's love. But you'll be amazing, all the home remedies that you get from the crew, the staff at the theater, your own people. And I say, if I take all this shit, I'm going to die. Is that what you really? want. Is that what you guys really fucking want? If I take all y'all motherfuckers' remedy, I die. Adobe Acrobat Studio, your new foundation.

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Learn more at adobe.com slash do that with acrobat. What do you think now that this is out? Are you touring a new hour after this? Oh, yeah. A whole new hour. Yeah. See, I don't tell jokes.

I don't write. I'm mentally right. Right. So I don't physically write. So once the subject matter that I was talking about that I made funny is over. there's no recording of it mentally in it because it's gone. That situation is gone. What had me mentally thinking about it is gone.

Now what I'm seeing now that I can make funnier. So when people come to you sometimes say, dude, this is a joke. And you're like, you'll remember it, but it'll sound fucked up. It's not the same joke. Because you're not there no more. Right.

See, I write like, it's the truth. It's a subject that's the truth And then I elaborate on it Sure If a brother got shot Boom Then by the time I feel He got shot 11 times

Fell under the tree Then he ran up the street After getting shot 11 times I'm talking about Where's my pistol You should say We're the hospital at But he didn't say that

He kept running And it just goes all the way Expand expand And you flip it And you flip it and flip it And then when you get it to the point Like Steve Harvey say A number one

And the number one It's a Joe that it work anywhere. And I make a motherfucker laugh at a funeral. Everywhere you said it, where you put it, how you did it,

it always killed. That's the number one. And when you're ready to do special, you line up all your number ones and then tape it. That's how you've always done it. That's how always done it. Right.

And then now, we'll see now, there's a thing going on with the internet, with specials, but there's a million of them out there. Like a lot of people are doing them. Do you think you're going to continue

to keep putting out specials, Or is it now slowing down? You just want to tour and do live for a long time? No, right now. Me and Bill Burr is doing a TV show for Fox this season. Oh, that's great. Yes. He's the production company.

And I want to show my version of funny in a sitcom form. Good. Did you write it? Yes. great and um we are slated for this season and um i want to do that and then i'm gonna after i do that i'm gonna drop another special let god be my witness be healthy on that day you will you will you will and um put it together and i'm gonna shoot that one uh probably uh this time next year wow that's good i mean you already got a planned out yeah yeah eve i think

the show going on hiatus for the first season I'm going to shoot a special right after because I got like 30 minutes

of it what ones right now and by the time the end of this year it'll be all together what I want to do and sell it. Put another 30 and sell it. You know what I mean? Sell it.

off of it. That's great. What's the name of the show with Bill? Still quake. Still quake. Still quake. Didn't go away. No, yeah.

Still quake. Still quake. Bill Burr is a great guy, man. And it's a pleasure and honor and God bless of we sitting there of having him be the executive producer on my show. Giving notes. Yeah. No, but Bill, when I submitted my treatment for my show and, He said, I get it all the time.

Nobody has came with complete understanding and the thoroughness of this fucking show you got. And I'll say, this is the shot. I know I will never get another opportunity like I'm having right now with Fox and get this opportunity because they have mandated they want an earthquake show, not a water down show. They don't care what I put fetish. as my occupation, as long as it captured my own voice. And I surround myself with the people that understands that,

and we're going to take advantage of this opportunity and put my version of funny out here and see how it does. Thank you, Fox. Oh, thank you. Words can never ever express. Thank you, Fox. Thank you. Thank you is below.

It's so weak of a. where I can't even found it yet. I mean, it's just sometime I, I really, I sit back in, because I didn't have 18, 20, I didn't have every deal that it is in my 30 years. But to deal with the opportunity and a person that wants you to be you, and that's what they're buying. And they're supposed to see Fox is going back to their origin. When they first got married with you.

children, in living color, you know what I mean? All of that. Original shows with original takes. Original Martin. We're about to be the flagship of bringing that multi-camera back to Fox with the edge. We're not CBS with your grandmother. We're not NBC trying to be the happy with Fox. You understand what I'm saying?

We're the Simpsons. You understand what I'm saying? We're there. You know what I mean? We hear you, you know, comedy. sent to y'all. But we're Fox. When it comes to broadcast, this is

where it is. And I was told that. And Michael was told. Bill Bill Perr was told that. And we came together and said, we're going to give it to them. That's great. And we're going to give it to them.

And to give that opportunity. You know what it's an opportunity. And that's the network president that said that to us. That's a big deal. You understand? There ain't no hiring in the shareholders.

I was saying this is what we off of it and it's just and I plan on to answer your question to touring and out now is dedicate um this next

this year to my to my TV show to the show to the show wow are you how much your real life is in the show is it like taking from what's going on in your life right now yeah I mean but on a comedic area

certain things have based that we have similarities but like I said previous take that and then run away, run with it and make it as scrab as possible. As big as possible. Yeah, the biggest. And I got characters that's in, really, my life that I just expand on them on their worst day. Right.

It made them day. On their worst day. On their worst day. It made a day every day. Right. You know what I'm saying? You get a thing? On their worst day, made it day every day.

And take it that way. That's what I'm saying. That's why it's called steel quick. And all this is happening, but I'm still quick. At the end of it all. At the end of it is all, I'm still quick. When you go, when you do like bounce back after doing like a show or a movie or something like that, when you go back on the road, does it take you a long time to readjust? Or are you one of these guys that's, it doesn't even skip a beat for you?

It doesn't because it's stand-up is my sanctuary. And now it's even going to be better for me because it's no longer my only, um, only, source of income. Right, right. Right. There is ancillary now. Yeah. Yeah.

When stand-up is your only source of income, you can't fucking around get booed. Fuck with your ticket sales. Uh-uh. No, you need it. Yeah, you need to work. You gotta be that motherfucker. Yeah, night. You gotta bring that motherfucker' end night.

Ain't no commercial money. Ain't no mufflers. This is, yeah, we need to sell all these mufflers out. Yeah. Yeah, and two most shows. Because I just took my woman shopping, and nah, nah, nah. You give a bad show Friday, you're going to show up Saturday and Sunday.

Yeah. And get out. That's why your first shows on Friday is important. Because people call them like, what you do? I went to go to Sierra because, man, it was funny. Let me see you get out and get some tickets. So it's as they is. So you understand that.

Yeah. But if you got a TV show, you're coming at that moment. Listen, man, I really don't want to be in this, my mother. I want to tell you, I want to throw it back. One of the nicest things that ever happened to me was your buddy Billy Gardell, who I love. I got asked to go down to, I think it was Irvine, Irvine Improv to do host when I first, you know, was hosting out. And they said, oh, it's going to be with Billy.

And so I showed up real early. I was there a couple hours early and I was in the green room. And Billy walked in with a couple of guys that he was with. and I'm not going to say any names, but so he walked in and I got up immediately and I got out of the green room and he's like, where are you going? I said, well, it's the headliner's green room. I was just waiting for you guys to arrive, you know, just to say hi and introduce myself. He said, sit down. He said, sit down. And I said, no, no, I'm okay. I'm okay. And one of the men that was with him sat in the seat that I was in the seat. And I said, no, I'll just go out to the bar. This is a headliner green room. He said, no, you're a comedian. Sit down. And I said, no, no, it's okay. And then he said to his buddy who was sitting in the seat. He goes, get up, give him back his seat. And his buddy was like, what? And he goes, get the fuck up, give him back his seat. And so I reluctantly sat down.

But I was also like, now this guy's going to fucking hate my guts. Right. But Billy was, you know, Billy was being very hospitable. And he was such a nice guy the whole time. Because I was so young and nervous as shit. You know, you're hosting these shows for these guys. And I was, you know, they don't know me. And so you just want to do good and shut the fuck up and get out of the way.

But Billy was such a great dude. But I forever remembered that as like one of the, One of the greatest moments as a young comic when somebody does that to you. Because that happened to Billy before, and Billy know how that feels. Yeah. Don't matter where you start among, you should have some sense of, just love for your federal comedian. Because you once was an opening. You know how it is to be in there.

You know how it is to be shitted on by this Eric and fuck who happened to start. before you did. Only different from me and you, you started first. Right, that's it, right. You've been in here for 30 years, you old man, motherfucker, and you're telling the rules. It didn't work for you. Maybe you are the most disciplined comment,

but it ain't helping with your progression in your fucking job, all your career. And Billy knows that. That's why me and him are so friends, the humility of him. And why he told him to get out the seat is, because that's your seat because you was already sitting there

as a comic. Yeah. Yeah, it was a big moment. It was always, you was already as a comic. And even if this dude is a comic, he should know that. And if he ain't a comic,

you need to get your motherfucking ass up anyway. You ain't a comic. I don't get a fuck he started today. You ain't ever start. Shut the fuck up, get out to sleep. That's the mentality of Billy. It's evil or. So, evil way,

if the person who was sitting there was a comic, you should have had some empathy understanding that. That's his fucking seat for a comment. And if you ain't, you don't probably be sitting down any motherfucker. You ain't no goddamn comic. It's a green room, bitch.

This ain't no sitting there. Well, see, we all expect, like, do you have one that sticks out and you're not trying to start some shit, but do you remember something that happened to you when you were a young comic that kind of fucked you upstayed with you? It's hard, I know.

I don't want you to have to throw anybody. No, I mean. But sometimes people do that to us when we're going on. I mean, I have some of them. my best friends fuck me over. I mean, with the star shit.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, when they get famous. They get famous. They get the star shit. Yeah, the attitude changes. Yeah, I mean,

they flex. You know what I mean? Yeah, I do. You know, I never take the shit personal because me anyway. I make even one's decision. I'd like give you a pass and give you grace on that.

Well, I'll never come see your ass again. Those are two motherfuck's choices. You had a bad day. You felt that way. I'd be your huckerbird. Right. That's your friend. I'm your huckaburr.

I ain't going to be your hunkerburys. You're right. You know what I mean? Singular. You know what I mean? Because I had one of my friends. Friends. Still with my friend.

I came to see this motherfucker had me waiting for him for 45 minutes like I was one of his bitches. Ain't nobody saying, man. He'd be a bit. You're doing it? Just waiting. My respect for him, I didn't leave. Yeah, that's huge.

Because I had already told him, I'm here, and he said, give me a minute. Okay. You understand? So I'm waiting. And you justify, we say, I'm going to get this motherfucker, 10 minutes. 10, 15 minutes, yeah. Then you are all right. I can't believe this.

Then the motherfucker come. When you sit there, like, all right, you just mark it. Yeah, it logs in. It logs in. You're like, all right, I've seen that shit. Don't come over with that bullshit. Don't move my fuck. You got to get your dick wet on somebody else.

I ain't your hole now. You know what I mean? It stays with you. But I do get mad at other comedies that snap off that and carry that shit like it's a... A vendetta? Yeah, like you were scarred. Right, right, right.

You know what I'm saying? Yeah. You know what I mean? He's thinking bad about a joke 30 years ago or he snugged me with it is and I asked for an autograph or... Right. The fuck. And this is me. Maybe it ain't you.

Let's say, for instance, that is what happened it is. You are a blessed motherfucker. Yeah. That little incident scourge you that bad. shit else happens in this world and what that's carried you with fuel and venomous

revenge rule I mean you got to get this motherfucker is because the nigger did not and I mean this sign an autograph for you yeah you got to let it go

sign an autograph for you or said a joke that was yours right I got friends that took my job took my jokes. Really? Yeah.

Was that, like, we all know that's like the ultimate in comedy. That's like the one thing. You still talk to people that took shit from you? Yeah. Why?

It's just a joke. Yeah, it doesn't matter, I guess. I mean, I'm in the joke-telling business. Yes, you are. I make these. Yeah. There's no joke you can take that can fuck with me because it's me.

Do you call them out? No. Because, see, I know where I got mine. from. I got you now. Because you're running out. You're over here. If you had enough, you wouldn't be over here. Right. I got you. Right. I ain't running out.

I'm in a joke telling business. I make these. This is what I do. This is an on and on me on it. Now, I'm not going to let you take it off of it. We're going to acknowledge this point on it. And we, they know. I have said, oh, hey, man, I'm on the show. Can you not use my this, this, this today? I would like to use it.

Since I wrote it, I'd like to use it. You're going to say? I would like to use this one today. Yeah. See, that's how you know what? Not confrontational. Yeah, you don't need it. For what?

Yeah, it's a joke. Yeah. It ain't my manhood. It ain't in my tech. It ain't my kids. Right. It ain't none of this a joke. So you the one put so much motherfucking emphasis on it of it is.

If you end the, you think McDonald's getting mad at the hamburger, the hamburger? No, no. He and the hamburger making business. He ain't about hating the motherfucker that stole a hamburger. If you're in a hamburger now, if he only got four hamburgers, then he's maddened the motherfucker for 20 years. But if he's deuceing them motherfuckers out there, bitch, one hamburger. You're good.

You know? Yeah. You know, the hamburger ain't around this month. I can't believe this nigg stole this hamburger in 1902. Can't stand this motherfucker. Yeah, it's true. He don't care because he ain't a half. I'm in the joke-telling business.

Yeah, you are in the joke-telling business. That's why I name it. It's a good name for a special, too. Yeah, I'm joke-telling business. That's all I am. I'm not your pastor. I'm not, none of this shit. None of it.

Yeah, you've never done this high horse thing that a lot of people do. It happens in comedy, right? Well, people in comedy kind of feel like their voice or opinion or thoughts on something matters more than anybody else's. But I don't think you've ever talked to people like that in your whole career. Because...

It's not your style at all. Not, well, it's my opinion. It's just an opinion. Yeah. So I'm not going to tell you what my opinion should sway yours because you're still entitled yours. I'd rather tell you the hypocrisy that goes along with it. And that's how I came to my opinion on it.

Right. You understand? And you do what the fuck you want to. Right. You give it to you. Right. Here you go. Right.

There it is. What you see is. It's the hypocrisy. And it's how I. I'm hanging. That's how I'm doing it. Good luck to everybody else. I ain't tell you what you're supposed to.

No man is put on this earth to tell another man how his destiny is supposed to be. And no man should tell another man what he ain't. Who are you to tell this man what he's not? Who ain't known it's you being over here to tell this man his shortcoming, what he is not, what he should be doing? And why on the fuck you over here worrying about what I'm not doing? Why are you worrying about what I'm doing? Who's fucking working on you?

Oh, in my fault, you got your shit all together. You're a made motherfucker. So you got time to evaluate everybody else's life. That's why I tell my fucking, I have no time to tell you what you should be doing. Because I'm still working on me. I'm fucking me. I am behind. There's a lot of shit.

I am, man. There's a lot of shit that I need to learn and sit there and understand. But I also have the. Empathy to understand. And more than that, the sympathy understand. People go through shit and they take them longer to get to that destination and who am I to tell them they should be there now. Right.

That's what I'm saying. Because who knows what people are going through? You don't know what they're going through? And it's God. It's their growth. That's their journey. That's their testimony. They're not there yet.

Just because your fast-ass made it. And you can pop the motherfucker. Pop, hold on at the end. Go on fat bastard. Come on, you know. You're to pop the tape. Come on, you fat, motherfucker. What you're sitting down for?

You can't get here if you sit down. Because you're quick. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? You still got shit to run. You just stop right here to look back. Right. Unless you say that's the end of your race.

But I want to go farther than that now. I just ain't got there before you did. So stop hauling me. But when I get up here, I'm going to fuck you up. for hauling this shit out fuck you fuck you when I get there

I'm going to fuck you fantastic approach I mean that's what it also because look you've been through the game so long you've seen it change so much

right your perspective is so much more solid I think that's the one thing is I'm 42 as I've now got into my into my 40s in this part of my career I've started to change

what I carry about more, right? Like, you're a father. You're married. Like, there's certain things that just shift the way you give a shit about the business and your life and your career. I think as when we're young, you're so hungry that you only care about the machine a little bit.

It kind of dilutes you sometimes. Then you get older and then you start to feel what really is important to you. Yeah, because more responsibilities, Scott. Yeah, well, life happens. Yeah, I tell my wife all the time, I make enough money for me. It's your ass I can't afford.

man i'm only work hard for you right if it was just me oh it was just me it was fine shit one show a month we're good we're good i make one show of enough it's good for me yeah i ain't let this shit i don't live out my price range no no no it's you motherfucker that broke the bank not that you ask what shit i want you to have yeah you understand so no i'm making enough for me if i was a no good motherfucker i cut everybody off i'd be nice If I say, fuck everybody, I'd be nice. But that's not who you are. It's not who I am.

You'll never be who you are. Never who I am. Also, that mountain is lonely when you're at the top over there. We know people. You know people that have all of it by themselves. Well, let me try. This group love is fucking lonely too. Yeah, it is.

Yeah, because you have no safety net. You are the provider. Right. You have no one to turn to but God. That's why I tell my people, before I come to ask me for something, try God. Try God. See what he says.

Get Jesus' time to work it. You are an impatient believer. It's only been four days in you over here. Yeah, relax. You just asked him, seven to two hours ago. Wait. It's in his time. You question them.

You have no faith. I believe in God. He's going to work it. for you. You said you never live beyond your means. You always have been pretty careful with your money. I try. You've never lived.

Like, you know, you hear some guys that live kind of crazy and irresponsible. That's not who you are ever. Have you never were foolish? No, my money always was spent on other things. Right. My biggest expenses always be the woman in my life. People. Yeah, but a woman in my life.

My people, then he can get something. But my baby. No, let's don't give it off. Oh, everything. Yeah. I just, I pride myself on making sure that the woman in my life live, a standard of living that I, maybe she might even know for herself. It's no better satisfaction than that.

You want it more than she does? You think sometimes you'll, you want this lifestyle more than she wants it? No, I just want the life, I want, it's not the lifestyle I want. I want the income that allows me to provide the things that I want her to have. And the only way I can get it is to have this lifestyle. I open up the one-ass and ain't nobody paying me this kind of money. I ain't qualified for shit in there. I told my wife the other day, I said for our income right now,

if I went into Affilat, I would at least have to be the head coach. I would have to, you know what I mean? The income that comes along with those things. I couldn't be in sports as a scout. We'll starve. We'll starve around this motherfucker. If I'm a scout, an assistant to the assistant, starve. You'll leave me.

You got to be the head coach. Oh, man, so I got to run with these jokes. But it's no enjoyment. It's no better satisfaction than enjoyment than making a woman in my life, which happened to be right now. have forever. It's my wife happy. And the things that comes along with

telling these jokes and being at this point allows me to do that. So that's what my money goes. Well, thankfully for the joke telling business, it's going good. Oh, it's good. And you better go watch that right now. Please. We should tell the people at home before we sign off

to please go watch the joke telling business right now on Netflix. You can also watch Legendary, which is also on Netflix. Yes. Produced by the great Dave Chappelle. One of the greatest dudes Oh man, he's a great dude. Thank you for the opportunity. He is the man. He is the man. He didn't want to bring me to next week. I am only there because of Dave. Did you have you gone you've gone out to Yellow Springs and done that whole thing? Yeah. Did you do the

outdoor or the firehouse? Both. Both. Yeah, we did both both. I mean he let us come do the firehouse first and that was incredible. And then when I did we did the summer series this last year that was one of the most fun times I've ever had in my life. I mean like he created a world that I've never seen before. I mean, it's just nothing. There's nothing like that thing. He's wrong because how do you fuck with me? Like, Nick, I'm doing this all wrong.

Yeah, yeah. What am I doing? How did he create this shit? The freedom, the artistic freedom of it. And it's just, it's to me, I'm like, this is what I want, the freedom of it. Yeah. The freedom. He's in that town and he's able to bring people such as us in there.

Greg Hollywood to him. Yeah. You come to me. You come to day. It's outside in the summertime and the cornfield, the inside, and the firehouse and there, different on it. It's brilliant. It's only one hotel in the whole city.

You got to stay in that hotel. You got to stay in that hotel. There's nowhere else to go. Everybody know you. And it's just and it's beautiful. And then he goes out and do the rest of it. It's a beautiful thing. And I was on the show that It's unstoppable when he did it in D.C.

And he called me and said he wanted me to be on the show. And I didn't know he was filming. And I walked in there and just looked around, and I was like, this is it. This is the sweetness of the sweetness of our profession. It's like the Hall of Fame. I see what football players feel when they get that gold jacket. Yeah, yeah.

It's just that controlling. your own destiny, your own how you want to do it, when you want to do it. It's seductive to me, to be honest. Well, you're doing it too. You're doing it too. You're doing it. No, I'm just joking.

There's some good shit right here, man. This is fantastic, see? You got me drunk than a mom. I told you. Mom, I love you. Go see Quake on tour. And watch a special right now on Netflix, please. It means the world to us that you came by.

Support the show. We support you. we end the show the same way. You look into that camera and you say one word or one phrase to end the episode. Some people impart a word of wisdom. Some people have a phrase

they want to pass on. But in that camera, one word or one phrase whenever you're ready. And you could take your time. One word or one phrase. So sometimes people, it used to be a word years ago

and then I said, well, if you got a phrase, like a coin that you like to leave people of like, you know what I think about before I go to bed or something that wakes you up or something powerful that someone told you.

Leave it with us. Oh, that's beautiful. Persistence. And consistency can't do nothing but bring you the results you want and need. In here, we pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey. You were that creature in the ginger beard. Sturdy and ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse.

Ginger's a fugitive. You won't be $5 for the whiskey for the whiskey. I've got to spend a horse. Ginger's, oh, hell no. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers. I like gingers.