Whiskey Ginger with Andrew Santino - Eric Andre

Episode Date: June 26, 2020

Santino sits down with Eric Andre to talk about pretentious coffee shops, in home urinals, smoking weed with Tiffany Haddish and eating turkey legs and elderly nudists rubbing their genitals on my arm at Eric's birthday party. TICKETS NOW ON SALE FOR THE WILBUR THEATER IN BOSTON!!! https://thewilbur.com/artist/andrew-santino/ Tickets now avail for NEW DATES FOR MIAMI AND PHOENIX!!! https://www.andrewsantino.com SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS! SHADY RAYS SUNGLASSES 😎 https://shadyrays.com/ Get 50% off two or more pairs when you use promo code WHISKEY SCREWBALL WHISKEY- Drink the original and most awarded peanut butter whiskey. Enjoy it responsibly. Don't be a dummy. WATCH ERIC'S NEW NETFLIX SPECIAL: https://www.netflix.com/title/80216229 Join our Patreon : https://www.patreon.com/whiskeygingerpodcas Follow Santino on Insta and Twitter: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ & https://Twitter.com/cheetosantino Whiskey Ginger Insta and Twitter: https://www.instagram.com/whiskeygingerpodcast/ & https://twitter.com/whiskeyginger_ EDITING AND PRODUCTION DESIGN BY THE AMAZING WHISKEY GINGER TEAM JENNA SUNDE https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday/ JOE FARIA https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria Intro Music by Rocom: https://www.youtube.com/user/RocomTelevision Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What up, Whiskey Ginger fans? Welcome back to the show. This is your first time joining us. Like I say, please subscribe, like, share it to friends. Tell everyone you know about the show. This week's episode is with Eric Andre. I love Eric. Such a funny dude. I've known him for a long time. I've written on some shows with Eric. I've written on his show. I've helped with his movie. He is phenomenally funny, always prolific, ever-changing, a chameleon of a comedian. He's a great dude, man. I love him so much. We're trying to get back on the road. AndrewSantino.com has all the new dates that are up there. I think I'm supposed to go to Houston and Charlotte and North Carolina and Dallas, Boston. There's a bunch that are up there. For right now, we look like we're going,

but it's hard because we're just waiting to see what happens. So go to andrewsantino.com. We're trying our best to get out there, but it's hard. The pandy got us grounded for now. But also on the website, you can go to the Patreon. andrewsantino.com has the link to the Patreon. That's where I'm doing Cheeto chats and one-on-ones and all that stuff. And also, it's got the merch, which we're launching a new merch store.

If you want to wait and see all the new merch, it's coming out July 10th. July 10th, we'll have a brand new merch site up and running. Hot, quick, fast, and cool. Hopefully, you'll love all the new stuff that we're putting out. We worked very hard on it and we hope you like it. I'm rambling on enough. That's it for me, my friends. Go to andrewsantino.com for all the information that you need about everything that you need. Oh boy, it's summer, summer, summertime. High quality shades, baby, for far less than expensive brands. Shady Rays are the peeps. They're the best. Shady Rays makes some of the best sunglasses I've ever owned.

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Ginger's our hell now. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Whiskey Ginger. My guest today is one of my favorite people on earth. I say that for all my guests, but I mean it once again today. It's Eric Andre.

Eric Andre. I love that you wore your finest threads for my appearance. Thank you. Thank you. Well, the audience at home is only going to see this much they're not going to see they're just going to see from my boobies up they don't know what i'm wearing i crop it in dude they don't need to see these uh floral pants that i have on with a little tiny Soviet bunker i am this is my Soviet bunker is that is that a swell bottle is that a swell bottle no cotopaxi oh cotopaxi okay very cool

cotopaxi dude from the cotopaxi region of france is that south or north france right in the middle it's a dead center cotopaxi dead center for people that don't know you live in space eric andre is a very funny comedian, actress, painter, pilot. Used to be a pilot for a couple years. And it has a new special out on Netflix called Legalize Everything, which I think is offensive and rude. And the entire Republican Party is trying to get you shut down. Do you want to read what

my mom emailed my family yes yes um first of all she put like her whole facebook and like her her like whole chain of friends that are all in their 70s and 80s on blast for the special and i'm like i'm naked in the special i talk about smoking weed with my mom. I talk about doing drugs. She goes, she emailed me, my sister, my dad. Saw your show. Loved it. Particularly the

interview with that hit mother. Waiting for my friends to weigh in on my Facebook page. On which I announced I saw it and provided literally a disclaimer. Just saw my son's Netflix special. Really, really funny, but please, disclaimer, I'm not a fan of anyone using drugs. Legalize Everything is its title.

And while legalizing drugs definitely has a place in our conversation, again, I'm not a fan of actually using psychedelic drugs. That said, go and enjoy. I'm like, you're being a fucking narc, Mom. Let me live. live your mom is your mom a lawyer i don't know like what is it it was like a legal disclaimer before that's like that's like showing up to a party and just being like look i want to enjoy this party that being said if there's anything illegal going on i will exit immediately i don't want to be tied to the

conversation any of you gentlemen want to purchase narcotics? Your mom's an undercover cop. She's a narc. Yeah, she's a narc. Well, dude, I'm so happy that you're putting a special out. It's out right now. You can watch it on Netflix. I think that's incredible, man, because as a guy who, this is your first month of comedy.

You started comedy one month ago. You recorded it and you put it out to the world, which I think is brave. I mean, most comics want to spend years doing comedy cultivating, but you spent the majority of your, the beginning of your career in Shakespeare and drama. That was it. You just did Shakespeare and drama. A lot of Shakespeare in the park, Macbeth, Othello, the other guy. And now why, why, why in the month of May did you transfer to comedy and then decide to put this special out? Because it was recorded two weeks ago, right? Yeah, you know, this is a really good year for stand-up.

Probably one of the best years for live performance. Yeah. So that's why I figured, tape it now. Why not? Tape it now. Get into it now. Well, I mean, some would say, and maybe you would agree, that 2020 might be arguably the best year we've all ever had. I mean, without a doubt.

Yeah, I mean, it started off great. It continues being great. And everyone's happy this year. It's just nothing but pleasure. I feel like I'm at the spa. I feel like it's such a joyous, warm year. I haven't heard anybody fighting. I don't know anybody that's mad at anybody.

No fighting, no complaining. But the special is out. And I know it's funny because we've worked together. People might not know we're friends, but we've worked together in the paste. Eric and I have done some writing together. I helped write on a little bit of Eric's television shows, a little bit of Eric's movies, a little bit of- Remind me your name. You're Ed Sheeran, right? Hi, I'm Opie Taylor. This is Opie.

Do you remember me? I'm, no, my name is Andrea Santinini. And we, Eric and I go back- Sant is Italian no well Sicilian you're Sicilian I thought you're like Irish yeah I'm half and half that's so you know you know how knowing that is to hear that's like me going like Andre that doesn't sound half black that's such an annoying thing Santino you don't look Italian like well when two people meet and they have sex and they're not the same

kind of person something happens I'm going to say that from now on Andrew Santino right you know what's so funny is when old school guys when I'm introduced to like that older generation whether it's like on a show or something always yeah there's some old guy that

always goes oh i didn't know you were gonna look like that i thought you're gonna look like an italian so now i bring a uh a soup ladle and uh and an apron with me everywhere i go chef's hat yeah no i dyed my hair a red i am an italiano yeah i don't know what by the way that's oh that's such a generation above us that will not exist in in another generation because so many kids are you know so many generations now getting mixed and crossed whether it's like race or ethnic background that no one's going to look like their fucking last name anyway. That won't even, at some point it won't even exist, but I do get it. Clearly triggered by that comment.

Okay. No, no, no. Let's dive right in. So let me tell you something about racism. Eric is in the process of brewing some cafe. Um,

what's your, what coffee brand do you drink? What are we talking? Ground work. I like, I got to go get them tiger i got oh yeah go get them i got whatever so so many people don't know go get them tiger is go get them tiger is a very pretentious coffee shop on the east side of los angeles well they're all over but they don't

have a don't don't promote getting dug with high on my show. Don't promote that. Oh my God. It's a great coffee, bud. No, it is. And that's why your mom is against drug use because you're promoting it all over the place. Go get them tiger. The interesting thing about the first time I ever had them, they're on the east side while they were in Larchmont or something like that.

And they don't have, it's just a bar. Like you just go up and you ordered a bar, but there is no line. Is that still like that over by you or no? It's a bar. No, there's a few of them. Like there's one in,

what I mean is there's a bar top and you just walk up and order. There is no like line though. It's almost like as if it's a bar to order a drink. You just get up. It's not like that. Well, there's one, I mean,

there's a go get them tiger in Los Feliz. There's a go get them tiger on Larchmont. That's what the one in Larchmont used to be when I, when I was down there, that's what like that. Well, there's one. I mean, there's a go get them tiger in Los Feliz. There's a go get them tiger on Larchmont. That's what the one in Larchmont used to be when I was down there. That's what it used to be. Oh. You just walked up. There was a line. There was a line.

No, it was chaos and I didn't like it. I got angry. I like a line. I like organization. I like coffee. You know, with your Italian accent, I can't understand what you're saying. Oh, yeah. Sorry.

So, no. When I order coffee, you know, a latte or an espresso, what happens to me? When I first came to Elvis Island, I said, a mozzarella boba latte. I see the statue of Liberty and I say, I'm here. Statue of library. The library statue, I kiss her foot, her big blue foot. Dude, you know what I... She kicked the goal for Napoli.

For Napoli. She wears a flip-a-floppa. A flip-a-floppa? I have to have shitty diner coffee now. I only drink coffee from little tiny... Because I kind of like the burnt shitty coffee. When I just get a regular coffee, I like burnt shitty coffee. You're officially like middle-aged. Yeah. No, you know what it is? I'm a glutton for the pain. I'm a glutton for how gross it is. I

like that it's... I think coffee should be just to flush me out. It doesn't really wake me up. Does caffeine give you a boost? It doesn't do shit for me. Yeah. Give me a boost. Yes. You're not drinking the right coffee, my man. No,

I drank it all, dude. Let me tell you something. I want the Machu Picchu. I got the beans that come out of the monkey's butt. I brewed it, broke it. I'd done it all.

Are you a whiskey guy? Is that the premise of this pot? What's the premise of this pot? Usually we have a drink together when we're in the studio. Eric was too afraid to come in due to COVID-19. And also, and also, cause he knows whenever we're in the same room together, we're going to kiss. No, but we've had, we've had to do guests via satellite, but no. Yeah. Usually I have a glass of whiskey and we talk, um, and we talk about nine in the morning. You have a glass of whiskey with your

guests sometimes i do but most of the time the guest doesn't want to do it at 9 a.m this was on you this this is your schedule this is your press schedule i go i go throw santino the graveyard shift yeah yeah seriously eric says he can meet you from 4 a.m. to 4 a.m. No, yeah, usually people are in studio having a drink, but it's too early to have a drink right now. But we'll just have coffee. But there's whiskey in my coffee. I just can't drink it straight up.

Do you drink whiskey? Every time we party, you don't really like... I don't gravitate towards the brown spirits. I do like... You want to see my bar? By the way, racist, racist statement. Oh, my God. Look at that, dude. I do like tequila. You want to see my bar? This is my- By the way, racist statement. Oh, my God. Look at that, dude. I'm like a rum guy, actually, and a tequila guy.

I like tequila. I like it all. I like gin. I like vodka. But I just made a whiskey drink. It actually had rum and whiskey in it. I juiced a poblano pepper mixed it with agave mix the juice with agave and then added lime juice pineapple juice and uh uh just a little

bit of bourbon and some rum agricola it was really good you want to see a picture of it? I got it from this cookbook. What's the book called? Yeah. I will shout out Ivy Mix. Ivy Mix. Spirits of Latin America. Spirits of Latin America. These are like my two new favorites.

This one is insane. So are you into making mixed drinks? Is this like a nightly thing? I was so depressed when quarantine started. I was like, I need a hobby to get me through quarantine. And I know how to cook, but I don't know anything about making cocktails. And then I really got into making cocktails. And it's like the same joy of cooking, but it's instant gratification because it only takes a few minutes to make a cocktail. And then also you get drunk.

So cut to me drinking every day and I gained a bunch of weight. And then this last month, my girlfriend looked at me, she was like, let's take a month off drinking because we are 255 pounds. Well, I don't,

I'm not going to lie and I don't want to sound like a jerk, but you look unbelievably fat right now. I mean, you're the fat, you're the fat. I was 205 a month ago. I'm 189 as of this morning. You weren't 200 fat. I was 205 a month ago. I'm 189 as of this morning.

You weren't 200 pounds. I was 205. I gained weight for season five of Eric Andre's show too. And then we wrapped reshoots. Then quarantine started. Then I started drinking pina coladas every fucking day. So this is the drink I was just describing. Did you pour ice like that and make it look dramatic and spill all over the

guy? I did. I actually poured it in slow motion. Like 120 frames per second. I know how to do it. That's how much of a professional I am. Yeah. But a Pancho Perico. Pancho Perico. So it's rum, whiskey. Oh, Manzanilla Sherry. A little bit of sherry, like a sweet dessert wine. Like Manzanilla, is that uh what what's manzanilla sherry i don't know what that is sherry is like dessert wines that you're like oh the kind of wine right right right right yeah it's a kind of sherry uh poblano syrup that i made pineapple juice and

lime juice it was goddamn delicious see this is my problem with that though you have to get all those materials i don't i don't that's you you have to go collect all that stuff no keep it simple if you want a simple whiskey drink all you need for whiskey is like vermouth. I don't really use, well, whiskey I usually drink on the rocks. If anything, I'll drink it with like soda water or some shit or maybe a little bit of ginger. Like the name of it. But even if you just do whiskey ginger,

squeeze like half an ounce of lime juice in it. Sorry, lemon juice in it. So you're getting, is this like a... You don't have to make a drink complicated to make it good. Actually, the most simple drinks are the best, I think. Is this now going to become a thing if I come over to your house again and you're going to have like a mixed drink thing? Are you going to make mixed drinks or no? Is it still free for all?

If you want or you can just drink it on the rocks, sip it. I have good, I have pretty good whiskeys. I have great rye. I have killer bourbon and I have a big bourbon guy. I love bourbon. Yeah.

I got, I got some like real Kentucky bourbon. Like I got, I had a bottle when we finished it off. It was like this bottle of Kentucky bourbon that you could only get in Kentucky. But right now I got old granddad and I have another great bourbon. Oh, granddad's good. I want to say that I don't want to, I don't want to call you out, but I love

the one thing about your house that I can, I can see in my house. I see in my head, the pattern of your house. You have a urinal in your bathroom and it's maybe the coolest thing on planet earth. You want to show it? Look at at that score look at that look at how dope that is oh when you bought the house what was there was there anything there and then a regular that was all that was there was a standing urinal and i built the house around it nice dude uh no it was actually a sink and i have a sink right it made no sense it was like a sink here and a sink there. And I was like, no, flushless, waterless urinals save 10,000 gallons of water. It is so funny that I've said that before that I want one of those. And of course, like if you

move into a house, a single man, it's your home, different story. You move in with someone, if you're married, they're never going to let you put that in. That has to come in before. if you're married they're never going to let you put that in that has to come in before oh for some reason women have this adverse reaction to that thing i guess it's a symbol of masculinity because every woman that's ever coming to my house like you have a urinal uh i always get this like uh and then i go i save 10 000 gallons of water a year for the environment and then they go yeah oh and i'm like oh you're coming around now aren't you you hippie you got the toilet seats always down my girlfriend never complains because i never you never pee on the seat there's never pee on the toilet seat the toilet seat's always down the toilet's like her domain i pee in the urinal don't we want our separate spaces like

that wouldn't that make sense to be like this is is you, this is me? I don't know. Women are threatened by the urinal. It's really crazy. I get over and over again, not just girlfriends, but just my platonic friends come over like, you have a urinal? It's always like a

barista eye roll. I'm like, why the eye roll? Why the eye roll? I'm shaving, you know, water. You want three pumps of caramel? I guess. Dude, the worst barista I've ever experienced. I'm in Brooklyn.

Say it right. Say it right. Say it right. I'm in Brooklyn. I'm in Brooklyn. It's just my New York. I'm in Brooklyn. I'm in Brooklyn. It's just my New York. I'm in Brooklyn. I'm in Crown Heights. Predominantly black neighborhood.

Jamaican neighborhood. But it's being gentrified. I go. I'm on my laptop at this coffee shop. I want to write. I'm looking for the Wi-Fi. And I ask the barista, who's this white blonde girl. I go, what's the Wi-Fi name? She's like, it's the name of the coffee shop.

And I go, oh, sorry, I didn't catch the name on the way in. What's the name of the coffee shop? She's like, you know, if you drink at a coffee shop, you should probably know the name. I'm like, why? That's not even true. You're from like Connecticut and you're pushing working class black people out of this neighborhood. You fucking asshole.

And you're fucking, you're rolling your eyes at me. Cause I don't know the name of your shitty coffee shop. That's not going to exist in three weeks. That's the name. What if the name of the coffee shop was white women from Connecticut, pushing out black people in this neighborhood? What if the name of the coffee shop was,

you should probably know the name of the coffee shop. And she was just politely telling, it's like an Abbott and Costello routine. By the way, I bet you don't know what the name of the coffee shop was. No idea. And I went back there like a year ago. So it has been around a couple of years,

but it was like a much friendlier barista. But it is so funny to catch attitudes for stuff like that. Well, there used to be a coffee shop here that I used to go to in the old neighborhood that they would make, okay, so when you buy a coffee or buy a pastry, they give you a receipt. On the receipt is your code for the internet.

Yeah. But it was only for 30 minutes because they want you out of there. And then if you want to stay, you got to buy something new again. And you would literally see people just lining up and being like, hey, will you watch my computer? And they would stand in line. So they didn't want to lose their seats.

But they wanted to get more internet. And I heard a guy one time, because I never really stayed. I would just see that they would do it. I would get coffee and go. A guy goes, can I buy a bunch of shit just to give me internet for like two hours? Yeah. And the dude was like, no, it's, it's one time at a time. You would,

no matter how much you buy, you get 30 minutes. That's it. Like this is fucking, this is like militant bullshit. And by the way, they shut down. We shut down.

Good. Fucking love the sayonara. That's what we said. Yeah. When they shut it down. Are you, are you trapped in your house? Have you done any social quarantining?

Have you had any friend time? I'm not even going to lie. We have nonstop partying. We've had... Makeout sessions. We've had 50 to 100 people over at the house at any time. I've said online, I'm quarantining to my best of my ability, but I did join this Monday night off of Craigslist Tackle Football League with strangers from the Studio City area.

Full contact. And it's skins versus no pants. So it's either tops or bottoms. No, dude, we've been good. We've had a few friends over, um, with their kids to swim in the pool in the backyard. But you know, what's so funny is like, people are so people don't even want to use the bathroom.

They don't want to go inside. Cause they're like, do you not want us in it? And I'm like, dude, you can use the fucking bath. Like go, you can use the bathroom,

but there's such an air and not sweat. So like, yeah, you can't get it from sweat droplets i believe i'm not a doctor you can yeah you're not what am i why am i i start taking notes i'm like so wait a minute you can't get it from sweat but you can get it from the air okay great thank you no dude we've had our friend brought uh and his wife brought their kids over just to swim in the pool and kick it and like that's been the most has been like one or two their kids over just to swim in the pool and kick it.

That's been the most. It's been one or two friends coming over just to hang in the backyard. But it's hard to have people inside the house. More so, I don't really care as much to have a friend over, but people are so scared to go over to people's houses right now. Yeah, I've had a couple people over for like, I got to grill outside. We'll stay outside. We hand sanitize. We keep our distance. It's quarantining. You know what I mean? Like everybody's doing their best.

I'm not like packing 20 people inside my house, but. I've been to your house when it is packing 150, 200 people inside of your home. I've sat where you're sitting smoking a joint with Tiffany Haddish at your birthday party. turkey right yeah eating fried turkey legs a massive fried turkey i think her and nick price went on a date because of that night yeah i thought that was so funny that was such a surreal moment yeah what a couple what a coupling you have thrown you've thrown some uh some some phenomenal parties that everyone's aware of not to talk about the thing that people who know you know, but the funniest thing that happened the last time I went to your birthday party was as I walked in, I felt someone brush against me,

and I thought it was someone that knew me, like hit my arm. And I turned to see who it was, thinking it's going to be someone I know, being like, what up, dude? But it was just an old guy's penis. I'm not kidding. Yes. Yes. There was an old,

cause you know, there was a bunch of people just walking around naked and there was an old dude with glasses, long hair who had his penis and his penis brushed me, which was cool. I was cool with it, dude. It's always cool getting a penis on your arm,

but he just kept walking that. Do you hire these people as like a exhibitionist? I think so. Oh yeah. No yeah no i told my the guy i have a producer who produces my party and i go yeah hire a bunch of elderly nudists of any gender and have them walk around the party but i'm not going to mention it or act like it's act like it's not normal right also also were they told not to talk to anybody? Because I didn't talk to any... No, no, we just said it's not a performance. You behave as if you have clothing on.

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Well, I got some new sauce for you to try. I've talked about it before. Screwball whiskey made right here in Southern California. It's delicious. This stuff is unique

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Can you imagine these guys getting into character? They're so deep. They also still think they might have clothes on. They just are so deep in it. What's the issue? Dude, his balls. That was the one thing that I think somebody said. Somebody was like, that guy's balls are so big.

Just so big. At some like, that guy's balls are so big. Just so big. At some point, at some point, you're going to have to outdo yourself at the party and just kill everybody at the party. You have to throw a party where it just blows up. Everybody dies. There's nowhere else to go.

I'm collaborating with ISIS on my next party. ISIS, some of the guys that shot up Charlie Hebdo. I reach out to them. I love that email. Eric, we've got a few great ideas brewing. Which of these do you like? Which of these do you not like?

You just go down the list. By the way, getting on a Zoom call with ISIS to discuss your next party. Is everybody here? Everyone's in? They're like, no ego about any of these ideas. Take it or leave it. Just tell me.

Just cross off what you don't want. Eric, you're not going to hurt our feelings. You're not going to hurt our feelings. I mean, look, you can't. You can't. But we did put a lot of work into this. So please take it seriously. ISIS party coordinators.

Well, dude, I want to mention. I know it's not the point of this whole thing I wanted to do this With you a long time ago but genuinely I am happy you're putting on a special Because you are such a funny sweet boy And the bit that they promo'd Is the bit one of your One of the bits that I love the most is the

Cops bit and the irony Of the cops bit that I've known You to do Now coming out that they cancel cops is fucking incredible. Like the timing pennies from heaven. I mean, it's insane. I wrote that joke like when I was 22,

you know, I've known you to do that joke for years. That's so, when I, when I saw the promo that Netflix put out with you doing that joke, it came almost on the heels of them canceling the show. Oh, it was like the same day. I was like, Jesus Christ, dude.

Either someone has magic fingers and knows exactly when to push that stuff. But also, this is a question for you. Did you want that bit to be out or they just tell you what they're going to put out and they're like, we're doing it this way. Do you say, I want that bit to be pushed out? No, no, I pushed for that bit.

I think we wanted at first, so the Girls Gone Wild style trailer that I put out yesterday, they wanted to put that out first. But I was worried that because of the Eric Andre show, I was like, I want to convey the message that this is me doing standup and not like an adult swim style thing.

I want to differentiate like like eric andre show stuff from stand-up so like let's lead with the cops clip so it's like ah this is clear this is him telling jokes this is pure comedy and then we can do this i don't know if you saw we did this like faux girls gone wild trailer which is great it came, but I just, I didn't want to lead with it. It was just an ordering thing. So we put the cops clip out first last week, like right on the heels of cops getting canceled after the 33rd season. And then, and then we put the Girls Gone Wild trailer out yesterday.

Dude, it is. And there's, you said there's nudity in it, but what do you mean by that? Like, are you, do you, are you showing your peen? Are you doing full frontal? We'll have to find out. Find june 23rd only on netflix i guess you'll have to by the way if if the you know how like when you go over a title on netflix and it's and it plays the trailer behind it yeah yeah it would just be great if it was a loop of uh like a grandfather like your penis just swinging across the street it was the nude guy from the party brushing his dick across. It's my elbow.

It's just this freckly elbow in the shot. And the penis just keeps brushing across it. You know, that's Andrew Santino's elbow. And shut up. Is it really dude? Pause it. Pause it.

Let me see. Had trips coming out on Netflix to the movie. Ah, yes. Ladies and gentlemen, the world ended a week before our premiere i worked with eric for a little bit on his movie bad trip and uh uh so fucking funny and it and as this thing was going on the world was collapsing right right

as you guys were about to put it out so the movie officially drops when we don't have a date yet i honestly secretly we keep asking netflix for a date because they're like this movie's awesome we love it yeah we want to buy it let's put it out we're like awesome sold it to them now they're like when's the date radio silence i i secretly think they're like trying to see how well this stand-up special is going to do before they give us that's the money let's see how well this stand-up special is going to do before they hit us. That's the Monday morning news. Let's see how well Funny Man can dance. Yeah. Let's see if he gets any real fans out of this

or it's just because of his big, beautiful penis that we like showing. No, they're all, they told me over there, they're like, honestly, we're all slaves to the algorithm. Oh, the algorithm. Algorithm is king. By the way, the name of the next server or the next one of those things that fights Netflix

should be called the algorithm. I don't know why they just like walk right into the fire. Why are we even hiding it anymore? They know anyone who's smart, people make up reasons over why Netflix does what it does. If you have any brains, you just know it's a computer, dude. They literally give it to the computer and the computer's like, beep, bop, bop, bop, beep, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop.

Like they don't. The computers have taken over. Instagram's a computer. Twitter's a computer. Facebook, all media is just a computer. Yeah. It's not like there's one guy in a room being like, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Yeah. Like he's in a control room smoking a cigarette. By the way, I wish, I wish there was a dude just ripping unfiltered Paul Mauls, just being like, all right, now we got to put this smash on here. We got to put this smash on here. I wish it was the hot robot from Ex Machina doing it.

Oh, yeah. If we're going to have a robot take over, let it be her, Garuga. Tell me about it. You could put a chip in my head if I... I hope she murders me in my sleep And traps the other guy in the thing Or whatever

Dude I want to say this Are you not going to do any more seasons? Are you done of the show? I thought I was and then I got to the end of the show And I was like I really love having my own show Why would I end it? It's better now than ever.

Well, when we talked, you said you were probably going to be done. Like the last time we talked, you were like, I don't, I don't know if I'm going to do it anymore, man. This might be it. No. As I was in the editing bay, I was like, two things happened to me. I was watching TV and I go, huh? Always Sunny in Philadelphia is on their 17th season. South Park's on their like 300th season. And I'm like, why would I retire a show where I have total carte blanche to do whatever the fuck I want?

Like leave the door open. I might not do it like every year on the year, like back to back to back. I might like have to like take another project and come back. back to back to back. I might like have to like take another project and come back. But yeah, I like the Larry David approach where it's like, take a project, come back,

whatever golf, come back. Well, because also because I think there's something genuine nowadays about having this like anticipation of like, are you going to do another season versus if you're just giving them more seasons, it gives them more reason to be like,

I don't know. This season wasn't as good as last season It's like this way the time gap helps Kind of be like oh shit I want to see it again Also I think It keeps it from you putting out content That you're not reciprocating From last year just to like pay back stuff

You're like uh I can just break And make up new weird fucked up shit In a year or two Because I feel like that's the biggest problem with whenever we're writing stuff. Like when we were writing, um, and with you,

it's like, it was so fresh and new and I hadn't been in the room writing stuff like that in a while. That's so much fun stuff was coming out of just the conversation. So I think when you take big breaks, people just expect that you're going to be like this vomit bath of like good bits that's just like you just walk in a room you're like guys and it's just all good shit right right yeah yeah you need you need like time yeah creative space yeah it's like it's like

um you got to be hungry for it again it's like it's like dishing out all that like creativity whatever right being a big meal you're like not hungry after a while you got to be like you got to have some well tell me tell me this did standards and practices which for people that don't know they're usually the ones that check down the cuss words and i think the legalese and all that stuff did s&p have a problem with your special was there like one of those emails where like're like, we can't do this. No, Netflix was like really hands off. Like that's all fucking awesome. Yeah.

Netflix and adult swim. I'm like so fortunate that they were like, let her rip, have fun. So many times SMP has to come into play. I mean, as someone that's worked for like the Viacom family and all that stuff, like anything I've ever done for comedy central MTV or any of that stuff, we had just a barrage of like legal.

They're like, we can't say that. We cannot say. We used to get that on Eric Andre's show when it was TV 14. And then we just asked the president of the network at the time. We were like, can we just be TVMA? And he was like, oh yeah, shit, sure. And then as soon as we knocked up to TVMA. And you do whatever you want.

Because sometimes TVMA, it's harder for us to get advertising. he was like oh yeah shit sure and then as soon as we knocked up to tvma you do it because sometimes tvma it's harder for us to get advertising and then like they were then we kicked it up to tvma and then s&p was just like yeah we just have to bleep fuck when it airs but not even when people downloaded it they're like let it rip and no pubes genitals crack, crack, taint, crack. Those are the four. No pubes, blur pubes, genitals, taint, crack. I just love a lawyer typing out taint and getting on Google to be like, what is a taint? Ah!

We made costumes where it's like right to the edge of my pubes on one side and then it's just a strip that covers just the top of my crack. And it's like, you see my entire body except for the, the four no-nos. And like, I shaved my pubes to like the brim. So you get as much as my.

Why? Cause they, why, why is pubes? Why is pubes the thing that's so weird that you can't show pubes? We're in a puritanical society. That's like, Oh,

the teenagers, the hormones would be in a rage if they catch a glimpse of the pubes. We're in a puritanical society. That's like, Oh, the teenagers, the hormones would be in a rage. If they catch a glimpse of the, if you show Eric Andre's pubes, the amount of boners that will get erect around this country, just little boys. The teenagers will be instantaneously corrupted. It's like old school shit.

Well, that's why, that's why I find so ironic about that whole thing is like you know like now that my like my show is on hulu and i didn't know that we could say fuck so much i had no idea like until i saw it i was like oh they got a blanket out they have to beep out fucks but they don't anymore i think i i guess you don't anymore fucks are all good to go fucks are all they never had to outside to outside of ABC, CBS, NBC, and Fox. Cable doesn't even have to.

That's a choice. The FCC regulates network television only, and that was the FCC's standards and practices. But cable is private companies, so that's why HBO didn't have to, but some do. Some just choose to bleep. Like in the 80s and 90 to but some do some just choose to bleep like in the 80s and 90s cable basic cable networks just chose to bleep so that moms wouldn't turn off the sure channel but it's not a it's just a made-up rule I mean even the FCC is a made-up rule but

it's only network television that had to actually do it because of the government well that's also because it's it's free tv right they can be found in any home for free. I think that's the other thing, right? Like ABC, you can just plug in your, like you don't have to pay for it. So I think their whole thing is if it's being pushed out to anybody, there's no regulation over who can purchase it. But it's always been nonsense. The idea of a curse word, a word that will curse you is from the medieval times. Right. That's what that means, huh? It's a curse word. It's a word that will curse you is from the medieval times. Right. That's what that means, huh? It's a curse word. It's a word that will bring a curse upon your family.

All right, ready? That's what it means. I'm going to say the word. It came from the bubonic plague. And it was like, oh, if you say shit, you'll be cursed. You'll get the plague. It is medieval nonsense. All right, I'm going to say a curse word,

and you tell me what my curse is now. Ready? Fuck. What happened? What happened to me? What your what your curse is yeah what's my curse now i mean we all know skin cancer's coming around dude that's so mean like you look like the chart at the dermatologist's office like getting too close he's getting a little too close to the sun as soon as i said it i was like i feel so horrible if like you just got like a malignant like melanoma removed

or something you know what but you know what it is scary to think that like i used to joke about being like i lived in arizona for four years before i moved here i live i've lived in the sun for fucking 18 years of my life. And I do put on sunscreen. But now that I'm getting older, if I don't put even on my arms when I leave the house, I burn now. I didn't used to just burn. But now it's like... No, it's no joke. My friend, I know the only white Haitian in the world, he's white and he lives in Haiti. And when he drives, he has this disembodied sleeve that he tore off a button-up

shirt and he puts it on his arm because he's like, my arm cooks. My arm fucking cooks. So I have to cover it up every day. By the way, can you introduce me to the white Haitian? Because I think that's the coolest. His name is Ale. He's

one quarter black, but he looks like he's in Sons anarchy he looks like a hell's angel bike and they call him Santa Claus wherever he goes in Haiti Haiti is like an entirely black nation so my dad's from they killed all the white French it's the only successful slave revolt they killed all the white French colonialists hell yeah and there was a dictator named uh uh Duvalier who killed all the mixed people. So it's only black people left. And he's like a one white drop in a black bucket. Wait a minute. Why did they kill all the mixed people as well?

There was a guy, there was a really bad, that's why my dad left. A lot of people left Haiti in the 50s. There was this guy Duvalier, Papa Doc, who was this horrible dictator. I think he was a puppet of the American government. he um he was psychotic he resented all he's like mixed people picked on me when i was a little kid let's start just killing him so it's such like a hitler complex yeah it's like he has no legitimate reasoning besides like just one kid said something mean to him one time you know like he tripped and some kid was like idiot and he's like i will kill all of the mixed kids yeah yeah something like that your dad left in the 50s

no he left in 1969 1970 i was gonna say the 50s he probably was born in 1950 something right yeah he's born in 46 oh damn papa papa a little bit older Papa's a little older Papa's a little older So where'd your dad go when he left? Where did he go from Haiti? Where'd he move? He moved to New York And he met my mom New York This is my New York

Did you ever think you were going to be living In Los Angeles and having Like this as being your almost semi-permanent lifestyle now that you're going to be living here and doing what you do? I lived in New York beforehand and I just came out to LA thinking I'll just be here for a few years. I'll give it a shot and then I'll probably move back to New York. And I always feel drawn back to New York, but then I like bought a house and I'm just like, like everything is just made here. What the fuck? I always try to go back to New York. I feel like you're Chicago guy,

right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You feel drawn back to Chicago. Yeah. I wish I could, I wish I could move back honestly,

but it's like what, where I like New York is more feasible for you. There's more work to be had there at least. But for Chicago there, I can't, what, what, you know,

what am I, am I going to, there's, there's, there's actors that, I mean, Vince Vaughn was out there. There's,

there's plenty of comedians and, uh, Cusack. I mean, Vince Vaughn was out there. There's plenty of comedians. Cusack, I'm naming the most successful movie stars. Yeah, like two dudes that have had massive careers for 25 years, and you're like, come on, you're just like John Cusack. You didn't say anything type of thing. You did one of those movies. No, dude, you have to be so unbelievably successful to leave L.A. and just go to anywhere. But Chicago, but Chicago,

uh, I, I joke at some point if I'm just done with all this shit, I'm just going to go try to beg to be like eighth lead on a Dick Wolf show, like Chicago fire, Chicago med, Chicago P like he just keeps making. Yeah,

that's true. Do they shoot in Chicago? Those shows? Yeah, they do. All of them. Yeah. Which is what I want to do.

I want to, I want to be a wolf, the richest motherfucker. What is his... He's one of those guys that's like a pure mystery. I don't know what he looks like. I'm looking him up right now. Dick Wolf, what do you look like?

What a name. Dick Wolf. Dick Wolf. His real name is like Marvin... His real name is like Marvin Adelstein. He's... His name is like Shlomo Lipschitz. Oh my God. He's got a face for radio.

I'll tell you that. That's why we don't see him that much. They hide Dick Wolf. He's got it, but he's got to be worth unbelievable because the guys like that. 250 million according to Google. Don't you think that's got to be, those are always so wrong.

They're super wrong. They're not even like a half. One time I saw, but also sometimes they're flip-flop. One time I saw that I'm worth $10 million. And I was like, where? And you were 20. So like, that's- Duh.

You know what? I bet you Dick will, I bet you that number comes from like, the gross of all, everything he owns and asks like his value is a quarter of a billion dollars but um he probably doesn't have like liquid in the bag who cares so why are we talking about i don't know doing very well he's 73 years old he looks like how funny would it be that we're we're just like dick wolf uh promoters people don't even know this whole thing is based around trying to get

dick wolf names but i know i try to promote my specials and I'm like, you got to see the 29th season of Law and Order. Only on Dick Wolf Network. He should. Well, that's like, what's his name? Bought the fucking Weather Channel. Why can't I think of his name? Byron Allen. You know he bought the Weather Channel? Byron Bowers?

Yeah. Can you imagine Byron? Hey, bought the Weather Channel weather channel man him doing the weather horrible byron bowers yeah it was really bad i'm sorry byron i'm trying to think what's it like you need a hook when you do an impression i got but it's also byron's real slow so he's like slow and like oh he's like yeah the weather's nice no dude byron byron allen you know the host of that late night show he bought the weather Wet is nice. No, dude.

Byron Allen. You know the host of that late night show? He bought the Weather Channel. Oh, Comics Unleashed? I've done it, man. Eric, I've heard that you're scared of sharks. I've heard that you're scared of sharks. Tell us. Now, Eric, you were telling me the other day,

you hate sharks. I was? Norm MacDonald had the best line. He goes, comics couldn't be more leashed than when they go on comics and leashed. It's so true. It's like the worst setup. No, he bought the Weather Channel like a couple years ago, I heard, because he's going to make it rain all the time.

He just wants to make it rain all the time. And if you buy the Weather Channel, you control the weather, dude. You can say whatever you want. No, it's a weird investment, but he has to know something that we don't know. Buying property like that. Like I'm not one of those guys. I wish I knew how to invest. Do you invest in anything? No. I mean, like I have like a pension. Yeah, me too. But I'm not, I'm too stupid to be like, I'm going to, I put stock, I put money. Yeah. I don't have stock. I have my house. I have a pension.

That's it. I'm not like, dude, I'm trading Apple stock for Amazon stock. I'm not one of those guys. Dude, I have friends that know how to do that, and I'm so impressed. I wish I was smart enough to do that. Yeah, I don't know. That freaks me out, too, because it feels volatile, too. Also, the economy's collapsing.

I don't know. It kind of freaks me out. I also have to go. Not only do I have to take a shit, but I have to do some milk toast schlubs podcast. That's fine. That's fine.

How do you feel about that? Are you insulted? I can tell by your fucking... Let me see. You look like Michael Douglas in Falling Down when I said that. Yeah, I'm annoyed. Do you have that reference?

Does that reference... Yeah, that reference is going to stick with most of my audience as well. Eric has to go poop. Go watch his special. I honestly have to shit before my thing, and I know it's like a dead winner. I know. Well, I love you.

I appreciate you coming on the show. We end the episode the same way. You look in the camera and say one word or one phrase, and we'll end it on that. Go ahead. What? You just look in this camera, and you say one word or one phrase to end the episode. Shploof. just look in this camera and you say one word or one phrase to end the episode in here we pour whiskey

you're that creature in the ginger beard sturdy and ginger like vampires the ginger gene is a curse gingers are beautiful you owe me five dollars for the whiskey and 75 dollars for the horse gingers are hell no. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers.