Whiskey Ginger with Andrew Santino - Fortune Feimster

Episode Date: October 28, 2022

Santino sits down with his longtime friend and hilarious comedian Fortune Feimster to talk about rude kids, getting sloshed in a Neiman Marcus, her new special Good Fortune on Netflix, & much much more! Visit fortunefeimster.com for tour dates and tickets. #fortunefeimster #andrewsantino #whiskeyginger #podcast COME SEE ME ON TOUR!!! https://www.andrewsantino.com ORDER SOME MERCH!!! https://www.andrewsantinostore.com Join our Patreon : https://www.patreon.com/whiskeygingerpodcast ============================================================ SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS! BETTER HELP Get the help you need from a licensed professional 10% off your first month https://betterhelp.com/whiskey HELLO FRESH 65% OFF & FREE SHIPPING Promo Code: WHISKEY65 https://hellofresh.com/whiskey65 MIZZEN + MAIN $25 OFF with Promo Code: WHISKEY https://mizzenandmain.com/whiskey RABBIT HOLE $5 OFF with Promo Code: WHISKEY https://rabbitholedistillery.com/drizly Follow Santino on Insta and Twitter: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ https://twitter.com/CheetoSantino Whiskey Ginger Insta and Twitter: https://www.instagram.com/whiskeygingerpodcast/ & https://twitter.com/whiskeyginger_ Whiskey Ginger Clips: http://www.youtube.com/c/WhiskeyGingerPodcastClips Produced and edited by Joe Faria IG: @itsjoefaria Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What up, Whiskey Ginger fans? Welcome back to the show. If it's your first time joining the show, welcome to the show. We got a good one for you today. Like my man Steve Harvey say, it's Fortune Feimster. Love Fortune so much. Known her for so very long. She has a great special out on Netflix right now called Good Fortune. Please go watch. Check it out. So funny, so talented. And she's on the road. Go check her out. And I am doing one more date. That's it. Doing one more date in Boston. Boston, Massachusetts.

Come out and see me for New Year's Eve and New Year's Eve Eve. AndrewSantino.com for tickets. AndrewSantino.com. We've released a new show. We're doing tree shows now in Boston. So New Year's Eve and New Year's Eve Eve. AndrewSantino.com.

AndrewSantino.com. Enough rambling from me. Let's go for the horse. Gingers are hell no. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Whiskey Ginger. My guest today is one of my favorite people on Earth.

I say that for all my guests, but I mean it once again today. the fantabulous, the ferocious, the fiery, the flamboyant, the flummoxing Fortune Feimster. What's up, Santino? Cheers to you, Fortune. Thank you for coming. Thanks for having me. Link, see if you like it. We did a mmm at the same time. We did.

Wow, that's strong. Is it good? It's really good. Knock your little socks off. What is that? It's good jazz. Don't worry about it. It's really good. Knock your little socks off. What is that? It's good jazz. Don't worry about it. It's good jazz.

I'm drinking jizz. You're drinking jazz. Jazz, not jizz. Oh, jazz, good. You do that on your own time. I don't know what jizz tastes like, so it's good to know. You've never tasted it? The guy's jizz.

You've never had jizz ever? No, I'm a gold star. Wow. Yeah. Well, I guess they should say, get that but i mean i've never tasted it either there's guys that have tried their own no come on absolutely that's a real thing that's not no it's not necessary well think about like this i i feel like a girl would probably at some point maybe try to taste herself no never. Never? Never. No. All right.

We're really getting started today. Well, you did it. You started off with the J word. I didn't do it. That was my bad. You're bad. I take one sip of freaking bourbon. A little bit of bourbon and you start talking about jizz.

Yeah. Well, okay. I turned straight. You did? And I flopped. I'm gay now. You are gay. You're about to taste jizz.

What do you think my percentage is of gay, truthfully? You don't have a lot of gay in you, I don't think. Thank God. God bless. I don't see that in you. You don't see any in me? Not really. What if I had a dick in my ass right now? Then I would say chances of you being gay are high.

Pretty high. Pretty high. I don't have any... You have some sensitivity. True. You can be like... You have like some sensitivity. True. Like you can be like... I have... This thing is... You have a good heart.

Yeah, I care. You care. But also, but men to me are... Boy, are they unattractive. Yeah, I wouldn't think that you'd be into it like a caress. Not really. Yeah. Because my type of guy would be...

Very macho. Macho. Sportso sports guy yeah because i'd want to be able to hang out because some of those gay guys are ripped like i lived in west hollywood for 15 years and it was i didn't go to one of the popular gay gyms because i didn't want to be embarrassed they're so i went to like a schlubby straight guy gym yeah east down by swingers it's a schlubby straight guy west hollywood gym because you don't want to go to the hot gay gyms because they're jacked and they're judging you yeah they're like they're super judgmental freaking slob well your outfit has to be has to be on point you you know you kind of have to be doing the right exercises uh in the right circuit okay

at schlubby straight guy gyms you kind of just can fuck off a little bit and do your own thing. What do you binge? Yeah, the what do you bench? Yeah, what do you bench? 4-4-4-8-5. But anyway, I guess I have zero. I guess I'm not on the Kinsey scale or whatever.

Your gaydar is low. No, no, my gaydar is good. Your gaydar, you can spot the gays. But yeah, you yourself. Yeah, you're low on the scale. That's fine. It's not that big of a deal. I mean, I'm a little hurt by it.

Fortune and I have known each other for a very long time. Yeah. Fortune is on her, what number special now? My second hour. Your second hour, but you've had three. I've done two half hours. Right. And now two hours.

Okay. So that counts as three, right? I think those 30s are specials i mean yeah for sure i know it's a different ball game than the hour but there's still something i think it's the same thing to be honest with you it's like because the time doesn't mean doesn't make up the idea of a special because you could have a variety show special be 40 minutes yeah or longer i mean who did i see some yeah some comics have like 45 minutes uh just joked What's his name Gabriel Fluffy His was two hours

An hour and 45 or something What are you doing Fluff what are you doing And he just said that he filmed Three hours And they cut it down In what world can you do three hours I don't know what you would talk about for that long i'm

exhausted after one i'm like we're done right yeah i'm like you guys don't want more like we should all go home go home go home i'm asking people 45 minutes in text the valet get your car ready heat it up because we're out of here you got like 20 to 25 from the opener i'm gonna give you like an hour hour five you got it that's good what else do you want from us yeah no I don't get the hour 50 or whatever he did that's um that's I look if that's what the audience wants and also I think you know that's I guess that's the rhythm of him but like like do you stick exactly to speaking of which we we jumped over it fortune has a new special out right now on Netflix click on it it's called good fortune and you will receive good

fortune if you watch the whole thing if you watch some of it you're fucked yeah even if you don't want to watch it just turn it on and let it play in the back put it on in the background come on and let it ride baby that's how people get specials now. They just want to know that people watched it. I know. That's so funny. It is weird that the viewer length is a part of their algorithm being like, well, they only viewed it for 37 minutes out of the whatever. But it only counts it if you watch it continuously. So if they pick it back up, it doesn't count, right?

I think you have to watch past a certain amount of time. So if they pick it back up, it doesn't count, right? I think you have to watch past a certain amount of time. I don't know what the cutoff is, but I know if they click on it and only watch for a minute or two, that doesn't count. That stinks. So don't fuck me over, guys. Don't fuck her over, you guys. Please. It is so funny to think they have the power a little bit.

Do you know what I mean? Like the, it never used to be that way where if you put out, you know, if a network TV did something, the viewership does matter, but like you still control the narrative because it was appointment viewing. It was like, you got to watch on Friday. Right.

So they were kind of subject to you being like, we're only going to show you this on Friday. Yeah. Now we're like, here, please. Please watch this. Please,

please look at me now. Well, also there's so many standup specials. There's a lot for people to consume, which is awesome for our field, you know, that people have these opportunities. It is. You know, you're just trying to find your, like, where's your place in that kind of thing. You found your place. I think so.

I mean, I was really happy after the first one. I got, you know, people watching it because the world shut down yeah so that you know you did that by the way i did people i i think people don't know this pandemic thing they were like where did it come from where's about it's fortune i have that power i was like i need people to stay at home and watch my special she's been cooking this up in the lab for a couple years well i was really bummed that like everybody else, because I was about to go on this big tour. Same. And then the world shut down, and I never thought the byproduct of that would be that everyone needed stuff to watch.

They did. And they watched, and isn't that good? Yeah. And now they're going to watch Good Fortune. Hopefully. So I heard that you followed Chappelle's model, and you had a bunch of anti-trans stuff in there. That was all you. Oh God, no. God, no. Now though,

there is this weird conversation about what comics can say and can't say in the specials. And at the end of the day, you know what you can say and what you can't say. I mean, I think that I found my voice in Sweet and Salty, my first special, where I really love the storytelling. I was like, this is my lane, I think.

Yeah, telling your story. Yeah, telling my story and making that into a narrative. And so when people are like, what can you or can't you joke about? I'm like, I'm just telling stories of my life. Most of your stuff has gotten super personal, which is great because you do then sly away from all that other stuff that you're like, I don't need to approach any of that shit. Well, because there's so many more well-equipped people to talk about politics, to talk about world things. I'm not that person you want to hear that information from. I went to a state school. talk about world things you know i'm not that person you want to hear that i went to a state school i'm not yeah i'm not telling you i say

often openly if i do talk about those things i'm always like you do know i'm not yeah i don't know this is you should not listen to me i'm kidding about the idea of it existing right i don't know what it really is yeah but i think uh i think it's there that narrative is false though when people like oh what can you guys say you're like pretty much anything I mean you can say what you want it's gonna come back at you

right people hate it you know what I mean but how's married life I just drank another thing of another sip of bourbon

and set you back five years yeah your brain just goes I do forget everything now because of this I know that's so strong

it's good though I made it strong on purpose you just want me to tell all my secrets yes I don't have any secrets spill it baby everything now because of this. I know. That's so strong. It's good though. I made it strong on purpose. You just want me to tell all my secrets? Yes. I don't have any secrets. Spill it, baby! Married life is good. I got married in October of 2020.

Right in the heart of the panty. Right in the heart of it. We were like, let's just do it. Because honestly, we were stressing out about the idea of throwing this big wedding and who do we invite and who's going to be offended and how are we you know we gonna like make sure our families are okay it was just becoming too much yeah and we were like this is the perfect time to get married because you can do whatever you want. Yeah. So we invited like four friends and-

Courthouse? No, we rented an Airbnb and hired like this same day marriage type of place, you know, to come out. They sent someone out in a mask and we got married on the porch, the deck of this rental. Here in LA?

Yeah, in Malibu. I know. Over the beach? Yeah, looked out to the ocean and just got married. We Zoomed our families. It was perfect. Did you sleep in the Airbnb? We did.

What's the cutoff? Did you make those people get the fuck out? Yeah, they left at like, I don't know, 10. How did that conversation go down? Oh, they knew. We didn't have to. Yeah. It is funny, though, because I have friends.

I know one of my friends would be like, we should just stench to do some shots we should all hang out you gotta get the fuck out of here man you're like don't you know that we just got married now we're gonna go have some fun yeah yeah i know but we just another more hour that's my friends would never have left my friends were like we ate dinner and we're hanging out and then they were they kind of they got it yeah they got it what was the what was on the menu um we well again it was like you know crazy times we thought about hiring like uh someone to like a chef or something but we were trying to keep it as little amount of people as possible uh so we just found a restaurant a local restaurant and ordered like steaks cool and salmon to go that's nice yeah easy easy you want to do it easy i mean it was the easiest best way to get

married and honestly it makes me now want to suggest to people to do a small thing well yeah i mean we did getaway we got out of the country because i was like i don't want anybody to be oh you did like a like an elope kind of thing no we did it we did it's so funny to say destination wedding wasn't destination because nobody was really invited right so we left y'all were the death y'all had a destiny it was our family so it's just that made it easier it's like no can no one can argue of like why wouldn't i be the best man or the best it's like fuck that i don't want any of that what was the destination costa rica okay yes it was great it wasented a couple houses. Did it at the house. That's great.

Just like you. Except we stayed in another house. Yeah. Away from everybody. Yeah. I was like, I'm not fucking staying in a house with you psychos. So we let them sleep at the big one, at the really nice one, truly. And we were at just a little bungalow.

Well, it was just us two. Yeah. And there was family down there. It was like you had to, and the nieces, the kids. So it's like, I don't want to wake up to that yeah no yeah you don't want like a niece and nephew running in your room no thank you yeah i'm pulling on his penis like get out of here yeah i don't want that so yeah that was that's my same idea was yeah i just didn't want um i think there's so much weird pressure in this day and age of like who gets to do the thing and you're like i don't just didn't want, I think there's so much weird pressure in this day and age of like,

who gets to do the thing? And you're like, I don't want any of that. Yeah. And even, and it's expensive. It's a fucking rip off. Like we,

ours was small and it still was not cheap. I know. Mainly because of the, probably the Airbnb. Malibu rental. Yeah. That was probably the price tag.

That wasn't a hundred bucks. You're like, how much is it? This is pretty cheap, right? They're like, it's probably the Airbnb. Malibu rental. Yeah, that was probably the price tag. That wasn't a hundred bucks. You're like, how much is it? This is pretty cheap, right? They're like, it's on the ocean. You're like, okay, so. You're like, I'm going to pay a lot. But the setting was perfect because the back porch was a complete view of the ocean. It was gorgeous.

Stunning. Yeah. Would you ever live in Malibu? I don't want to because it's a tinderbox, but my wife would love to. And every time we drive in there and I go,

that'll burn down and that'll burn down and that'll burn down. Or it'll get washed away. Either one. I'm afraid it's just going to get eaten by the ocean. Well, the people,

some of these rich people that post these videos of them on their deck, the waves are like crashing into their deck. In their kitchen. And I'm like, that will eventually wipe this house away. That's a $12 million wave coming at you. They're like, look how beautiful this is.

I'm like, I have heart palpitations watching this. That's what I see. As a guy who is constantly doing something bullshit around my house, we're nowhere near the water and i'm like even this is annoying yeah i don't want to have the thing we get swept away from the malibu ocean i don't want to have the thing where that's a thought where they're like hey man we have to raise the house up 10 feet because now the tide is so high yeah and you have to retrofit everything and it's only going to cost like seven million so can you do it and malibu's got what two ways in one yeah you got yeah you either go south or north yeah you're right yeah and the canyons are fucked one across right and that's it so every time there's a fire it's an eight hour um you know back-to-back traffic although the walk

away from your home as your house is burning on the beach is beautiful. It is a gorgeous view. As the sun is setting and your house is going up. There was that video that went viral of the most gorgeous sky and a thousand cars trying to get out of Malibu. So sad. But it is really pretty. The smoke makes really pretty sky. Malibu's so pretty though

it is in general it is i just have no i don't surf i think yeah i think you gotta if you're like it seems like you gotta be near retiring right because it's far from everything yeah you got to kind of be ready to just sit there most days and then yeah or or serve or you're fancy rich enough where you can go in and get out and that's kind of like a, we can stay there for a week at a time. Yeah. That's a thing.

I don't have to work this week. I'll go shoot my movie. That's like what Sandra Bullock does in my mind. Yeah, she has like 15 houses or something, I think. Seriously? I think she has a pretty big real estate profile, portfolio. She's putting up decorations at 15 houses on the holidays. Can you imagine?

I think she might be selling some. She's downsizing. Yeah, I think I would too. There's too many fucking houses. Would you ever move back to the South? I had a place there for a while. I just sold it. Oh, why?

I just was never getting back there enough. Right. It was nice in theory. Every time I did go home getting back there enough. Right. It was like nice in theory. Like every time I did go home, I loved it. But then I was like always on the road touring or. You didn't use it as like a midway point when you went east at all? No, because North Carolina is not central enough. We're thinking about maybe getting like a condo in Chicago as a midway point.

Who are you talking to? I know, right? You know I've been looking at that for a long time. Have you? Can I give you a warning? Okay. Illinois, nightmare. Is it?

It's like California. Well, first of all, it's extremely expensive. Aren't the taxes really high, too? They're fucking gross. Because we're already dealing with that here. It's basically making another movie. And I'm not saying you're getting a second place to save money.

Yeah, because I wouldn't be trying to save money. But I will tell you, HOA downtown in the city. Really? for yeah but i wouldn't be trying to but i will tell you any hoa downtown in the city oh my as one time we looked at a place uh like a bullshit little baby cute condo just to have as a little spot when i go home uh and the hoa was more than my mortgage more than its mortgage oh my gosh i don't know yeah i mean i kind of like Anderson I like Andersonville oh Andersonville yeah very nice I don't know

but we'll see because you know I met my wife she was living in Chicago that's right was she living in Andersonville she was no she was more west

but I don't know Andersonville and Boys Town a lot of competition between these two places I know well the lesbians are in Andersonville yeah that's right

lesbians are in Andersonville they own it yep and then the gay guys are in Boys Town I also like Lincoln the Lincoln Park that's probably. Lesbians are in it. They own it. Yep. And then the gay guys are in Boys Town. I also like the Lincoln Park. That's probably pricey, though. Lincoln Park is, yeah, it's very nice. That's kind of, that's close enough. Look, the gays are everywhere. What do you want me to say?

Thank you. I only want to live around gays. I don't want to live around you straight people. You just walk into a store, you're like, there's no gays in here! I love that you're like, well, let's find you somewhere where gays are. Well, we gotta get you where the gays are. You can't go, Andersonville is the spot in Chicago, though. But also, that's like, everything is so nice now. Anywhere in the city like that, you're gonna be paying out the schnoz.

Anyway, get a place. I'll get a place. Get a place. We'll hang out. Yeah, we'll hang out. I'll scoot over to you. If you get a place, I'll get a place. If you get one, I'll get one.

All right. If you do it, I'll do it. Don't you let me down. Imagine you do it, and I'll get a place. If you get one, I'll get one. All right. If you do it, I'll do it. Don't you let me down. Imagine you do it, and I'm like, I can't do it. I can't do it. I got too scared. I was like, I only did this because we were both going to do this. Your wife was like, what the fuck were you thinking?

Well, I just- Well, Santino said he was going to do it. Santino said. I like the idea of having a place in the middle of the country- Same. For the touring. Because there's so many back-to-back East Coast dates sometimes, and I just don't want to fly all the way back to LA. Look, I love New York, but flying to New York, it's a fucking nightmare.

There's so many people I know that do it all the time that are like, it's not that big of a deal. I'm like, yes, it is. I don't care how comfortable it is on a plane. It's forever away. I'm like, yes, it is. I don't care how comfortable it is on a plane. It's forever away. I know. I even thought about fucking Europe. Nashville at one point.

Yeah, a lot of people down there. It doesn't fly direct as much as Chicago. No, yeah. It's not as big of a hub. Yeah, but then I also want my wife to have somewhere to go where her friends are

and stuff when I am touring like crazy and she's like sick of the road. Like I cannot do this anymore. So she's on the road with you most of the time? She does a lot of, yeah. Isn't that kind of crazy for her? She was a kindergarten teacher for 12 years

and like right around the... And now she's a third grade teacher for the rest of her life. Exactly. Right around the pandemic, she's like, I can't do this anymore. Or at least for now. God bless her, by the way.

Being someone that taught little tiny developmental minds. Because they're little assholes. It's hard. I went to her classroom. They don't listen. Yeah. I went to her classroom for like an hour. And I don't know why I said this, but my head started throbbing.

And I don't even go to this place like ever. But I was like, I need a Jamba Juice. And she was like, why? I was like, I don't know. My head hurts. But I just want a juice. I just want a Jamba Juice. Cut to you in a circle,

sitting cross-legged, just sipping on a juice with the other kids. I think I've had Jamba Juice like three times in my life. I think I've had it maybe once. I don't even know. I'm like, why is that what I need? Because it sounds comforting at the moment in time. But that was a testament to how I could never be a teacher.

I don't have the patience. I'd be one of those teachers that ends up in the paper when you see the photo and it's like teacher loses it on class and throws a child physically like out a window. Oh, yeah. You should not teach. I'd pick up a kid by arm and legs and just right out the window. And kids don't know what to do with me. I walked in the class and one little girl immediately raised her hand. And she was like, is that a boy or a girl?

And I was like, that is offensive. To you or to the teacher? She asked Jax about me. But, you know, they don't have any qualms about. Their filters don't exist. Yeah. Which half of that is beautiful, right? Because kids don't have any qualms about their filters don't exist yeah which half of that is beautiful right because kids don't get it but then also then you're like we that's why we

have to teach you right so you understand the world yeah but it is kind of nice when kids are like that looks gross and you're like all right well i understand what you're saying about that but we can't say that about what that person did because that's mean and they're like oh yeah it is gross you're like okay that's sit down i said well to be fair i do get called sir sometimes when i walk in the bathroom so sure yeah what do you respond i just gotta go i'm a well i don't know why i said this is one lady i went i'm a ma'am like Instead of saying I'm a girl, I just said I'm a ma'am. I'm a ma'am. I'm a ma'am. By the way,

how easily misconstrued she's like, a man? I know, I called you sir. You're like, no, bitch,

I said ma'am. By the way, if you don't have merch shirts that say I'm a ma'am, get yourself some I'm a ma'am's. That is a great response.

I'm a ma'am. In here, we pour whiskey. Now a word from our sponsor, BetterHelp. Hey, guys, I've talked about BetterHelp on this show many a times for a couple of years now because I believe in it, I use it, I really do enjoy it, and I think it's great. Look, a lot of people have a lot of things going on in their life. It's hard to organize your brain and what you've got going on in your schedule and your calendar and also take time for yourself

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I like gingers. But speaking of which, I just walked in the bathroom on a guy today. It was so funny because I thought nobody. You walked in on him. A guy on a stall because no one ever uses this stall, right, at the gym. It's just like no one ever is in this last. It's in the corner.

Yeah. And I busted in kind of quickly. I was talking to the guy. I was saying bye to somebody. And I pushed in real hard and he maybe locked it you know it's one of those little um elementary school locks where sometimes it doesn't snack right and i pushed it wide open and he was on the shitter oh no he was he was on the shitter and i felt bad because i laughed a little bit i was like oh i'm sorry but the wild thing was and nobody knows who this guy is going to

take a poop i was gonna go take a shit okay but i would have locked it all the way yeah but nobody knows this man so i'm not being mean but his little penis oh no was above the toilet seat it was up you know he was sitting like this and it was pointed like kind of upwards at me almost where he could have shot me if he wanted to yeah and his little tiny pieces up and it's almost like my it's almost like my sight for if i was it went right to the penis yeah it was like a fighter jet like where my sight was like i focused right on his little tiny penis and i i couldn't i couldn't i couldn't stop looking but it was so teensy weensy yeah and i that's i chuckled not at his penis at the situation But I think he thought That man laughed at my small little penis He probably did

And I said I'm a ma'am not a man And I slammed the door on him Now is there a world in which Because you know I don't understand the anatomy of a penis that well Where other stuff It could be tucked down And maybe it was bigger than it looked If your penis was long enough it should not be above the

It would be like hanging It'd be in the toilet bowl. Oh, okay. Yeah. If you have a regular sized penis. It shouldn't be pointed up at the sky. It should be pointed down. Yeah, it should be a regular penis. I guess I've never thought about a dude on the toilet. Yeah.

And why would you? True. And why would you? Well, you know how sometimes your vagina kind of falls out of the toilet. You know how that happens. You know how that goes. But it was, I feel bad for this man and he'll never know this, but. He's a big fan. He's listening.

He's like. He's on a toilet somewhere and he slowly takes out his headphones. He's like, oh my God, this is miserable. He's like my hero. My hero. My hero. Saw my penis. You meant everything to me me and you mocked my tiny penis and i'm not mocking you yeah man he loves steve lofeld here's his address and phone number right here please text or call and send him mail letting

him know we're just shaming do you get fan mail i mean uh not like physically in the mail. Like, do people make art for you, though? People like to draw those caricatures. You know, like the cartoon where everything's very pronounced. Yes. They're the most horrifying, god-awful. Did you get those? Yeah, because, you know, I have these chubby cheeks and this crazy hair. Beautiful hair, though.

Well, thank you. Look at that thing, huh? But every time people draw a cartoon of me, I go, oh! Like, it scares me. You should frame them. Put them up at the house. They're awful.

They're awful. But that's what's fun about them. They're so bad that they're good. I know, but, like, even my own merch people, like, sent me, like, a potential cartoon, and I go, never do that again. It's so bad. I go, do you want me to sell the worst version of myself?

We thought it was cool. They're like, we thought this was slimming. Yeah, oh, rude. It's not great. You're like, listen, let me meet the animator. Let me see the artist. I just think big girls such as myself, we don't need to be animated. That's funny.

We don't need to be animated. We don't need to be animated. Does anybody funny. We don't need to be animated. We don't need to be animated. Does anybody need to be animated? Some people are cute. Animations always bring out the worst weird characteristics. And at least those caricatures because that's like

even bigger heads and faces. It's totally hyperbolized. I don't want mine to be bigger. It's big enough. That's great. You have one that's really cute, don't you? Well, I mean,

this is a drawing. That's kind of just like a... That's like a very realistic... That's kind of where this came from. But this is... But that's good. That's a good one. It's just my dumb face.

Yeah, your dumb face is great. It's orange. I'm just an orange man. That's what I get annoyed when little kids... When little kids, they stare at me. They're so confused. Because very young kids... Because they don't see red hair. Well, they've rarely seen one of me. Yeah. So when they see you, they're... me. They're so confused. Because very young kids... Because they don't see red hair.

Well, they've rarely seen one of me. Yeah. So when they see you, they're... You're a leprechaun. They're stunned. I am. I'm the tallest leprechaun they've ever seen. That's a tall leprechaun.

And they just stare at you for a very long time. Until I hiss at them. And then they fucking walk away, little shitheads. You little low-to-the-earth piece of shit. Daddy Santino. Yeah, Papa Santino. Fucking crack on them. No, but I... Yeah, they... away little shitheads you little low to the earth piece of shit daddy santino yeah papa santino crack on them no but i i yeah they they little kids uh little kids will stare at my big orange because it is a lot of orange i have looked in the mirror stoned and seen myself and been like

jesus so much fucking orange i like it i think it makes you stand apart it does i like it a lot for now and you could not name your podcast Whiskey Ginger if this weren't the case. That's exactly true. Ted Munns did this. Shout out to... This was the nicest piece of art I ever had

from a fan friend. A friend who's... They made this? Yeah, Ted. That's cool. He's a fan of the comedy community. He made a bunch of these

for a bunch of different artists but this was... Yeah. It was very nice. This is the kind of thing where do you have one of these bugs where you can make stuff? Do you have any sort of other than comedy i have no skills

me neither i can play sports i'm really good at sports well but i yeah but i mean like art stuff like i'm good at golf i'm good at basketball but i've tried to drawing fuck out of here insane i i i'm like a kid i'm like a five-year-old trying to draw yeah Yeah. I did one of those, you know, you drink wine and you paint. Yeah, paint bad numbers. I did one of those years and years and years ago when it was like first came out. It wasn't good? It was the saddest shit. It was like embarrassing.

You had too much vino. But even still, the teacher was like, this is bad. It was like we laid it out for you to do. You're like, I don't even want to be here. She was like, what is that? I'm like, it's a boat. She's like, a boat? You couldn't do just a boat? I couldn't paint a boat know what i was like fuck you yeah i don't have artsy skills i don't have that either i feel like i feel like male

comics get more fan art than i don't think i don't know how much fan art female comedians get well i don't know if that's true i mean it depends on like what you're putting out there like yeah this was different this was kind of like a you know he's commissioned pieces for different people and yeah that's different but like as far as fan art goes i i think uh i used to get some and then i kind of just it got overwhelming oh really well because it was like sometimes it's just junk right sometimes people just like send you junk yeah you're like what the fuck is this it's like i made you out of bottle caps you're like i don't i don't what am i gonna do with it i i'll never forget i was with i opened for rogan like six

years ago for the first time or seven years ago or whatever and we were we were at a theater and a guy had painted a 10 foot tall 20 foot wide like mural i mean it was fucking insane yeah and it was like people from comedy world where it was different faces kind of floating in the space abyss and it was unbelievable yeah and the guy was like what would you like me to do with it and rogan was like i don't know like what and then and i thought because he can't fly. What the fuck is he? Well, also, even if they shipped it.

I'm sure Rogan was on what, Southwest? Yeah, he was on Southwest. Well, we were flying at the time. We both flew Southwest. I was a pilot. He was co-pilot. There you go. Yeah, you know I'm the pilot.

But he literally said to me, I said, you're not going to take that home? He's like, I don't even know where I could put it. Right, because it was so big. Oh, right. I mean, I think he ended up putting a studio or something like that but i was also you probably get so so much but i forget you don't think about that when you get something you're like where am i gonna put this fucking thing what you know unless it was just something like knocked my socks off yeah if yeah if you'd make room for it i talked to i was on the phone with joe de rosa today and he was talking about how he wants to get a new apartment because New York is fucking miserable.

And he's like, I'll buy a book, a new book, and get home and be like, where do I put this new book? No, really? He's like, I'm out of space. I was like, that is the advantage of living out here, at least as we're not shoeboxed. You have some more space. Yeah, we got some living room, you know?

I know. I just got back from New York, and even the hotel rooms. It's comical. They're smaller than this studio. And they some more space. Yeah, we got some living room, you know? I know. I just got back from New York and even the hotel rooms, you're just like- They're smaller than this studio. And they're not cheap. No. I'm like in the bed

like reaching for the bathroom sink. I'm gonna take medicine. It is too- It's a tiny life. It's a beautiful life, but it's a tiny- I've considered moving there a dozen times.

Really? Even recently? Just for the fun. Yeah, just for the fun. I don't know. I'm trying to build a new act now, obviously. And everyone's like, oh, it's hard. I'm doing the same thing.

It's my least favorite part of this. It stinks. It stinks. There's no way around it. You just have to do it. Yeah. I did this seller when I was back in New York. And they were like, well, you just need to move here for a month.

And you'll have your act. I'm like, God dang. I mean, they're not wrong. They're not wrong. Just because the reps there are different. The intensity is higher. It's like it's more churn and churn and burn. Seven shows a night.

Yeah. I'm like lucky. I like go to the comic store. Seven shows a year. Improv like once a week. Yeah. Not even that. It just is.

Well, because it's a different culture. week. Yeah. Not even that. It just isn't. Well, because it's a different culture, right? Yeah. And that's what gets harder out here, especially as you get older, as you just, like anything in life. I used to make fun of my parents for certain things that now I've adopted. Like wanting to be at home more? Yeah. And also like their time evaluation of like, I don't want to do that.

And I'm like, come on. Yeah. And now I'm like, I don't want to do that. I just want to, come on. And now I'm like, I don't want to do that. I just want to make a steak, sit on the couch and do nothing. Watch the Housewives. I'm sure that's what you're doing. 100%. But which one? Which? Not just Roni.

I'm watching all of them, baby. No, you know what we watched the other night? We watched the... I'm a documentary... I'll watch even those shittiest documentary. I don't care how bad Oh that made you upset You coughed your way out of there Sorry

Do I reach for bourbon or water When you have a good cough get some water And then get some bourbon afterwards We watched a documentary about the girl who got lost at the Vatican Oh I haven't watched it But I saw it was in the top 10 It must be a popular thing it's

it's did she get lost or kidnapped she got kidnapped I figured but it was really sad really it was just so many

twists and turns and you know look I grew up a fucking catholic kid so I can say it but those dirty scumbags

oh it was just so twisted was it part of that that crazy thing it was so twisted about like who was involved and why they were able to cover shit up and it was just you know it was just so twisted part of that that it was so twisted about like who was involved and why they were able to cover shit up and it was just you know it was a whole it just made you sad and it's also um one of those documentaries that bled out she was sitting next to me like

couldn't take it because she's like it's so slow you know when they drag a shit out oh my god there's so many documentaries that could be like two hours less and they make them seven seven episodes or something like that yeah you're like just you're like get to it well that was like the uh tiger king i was like i get it yeah we already know stop making this a five series arc and that oh that wild wild wild country the wild wild west no will smith one of what movie. No, the documentary about the cult. Oh, Wild Country. Yeah, that was pretty late. We could have trimmed some fat on that one. Yeah, we could have knocked it out

in 30 minutes. Yeah. These people are fucking nuts. You're like, I get it. Right on. The end. Yeah, the end. That's it. Just you get on, you go, these people are nuts. These people are nuts. The end. But I like a documentary too. It just is, it's a way for me to ingest

some real life information. Yeah, it makes you feel like you're learning something. Because I don't read anymore. I did get a Jeopardy question right in the comfort of my own home thanks to a documentary. What was it? Do you know what it was?

I honestly now can't think of what it was, but it was like the most random, like my wife looked at me like, how did you know that? I was like, a documentary. See, we're learning.

Yeah. Because I stopped reading. I was about to say, I'm not a book gal. I've tried. I'll buy books, but they're on my desk, my computer desk.

Yeah. And they pile up. And then sometimes if someone comes over and sees it, they're like, look at this fucking guy. Like on the way to go take a piss in our guest hall room bathroom you can see my little computer desk oh yeah and so it's kind of neat to stack them so people are like whoa they're like wow what is this guy reading very very well read they're fucking the creases are so fresh my mom

can read like a book every like three days. She finishes them in like three days. That makes me sick. I can't do it. My grandmother was like that too. And I did not get that skill. But what did she, what did your mom do for work? She was a teacher. Right. So she has that studious way about her.

You and I, we're losers. We're fucking clowns. We're fucking clowns, man. I like that she went to, we're losers. I'm like, sure, bud. We're clowns. I like that she went to we're losers I'm like sure bud we're clowns we're losers

but also you've never seen a clown at the circus on a unicycle also reading a book right yeah no he's juggling for your entertainment

everything we're doing is for you guys we're putting it out to you guys for you guys we're not taking it in no we're putting it out all of the limited shit

we have we're spewing it out to you. We don't have time to read. I'm not reading a Chuck Klosterman novel. Fuck you. Why is he being clowns? Watch me juggle, bitch. My mom's the same way.

I get jealous. She can read on the train or on a plane or whatever. I get on a plane. I'm watching Netflix. Yeah. And if I'm not doing that, I'm sleeping. I know I should. I know it's good for the old noggin but i'm doing other things because i read this whole i got scared i got in this spiral

about uh alzheimer's and dementia and all this stuff say dementia yeah and i started reading all the other things that you can do other than reading a book that can still keep the brain firing at high levels right a crossword puzzles okay sudoku uh any sort of intricate game where you're trying to have where you have to do math a lot okay or do or or like even tetris i read this thing is saying like tetris keeps the brain firing about shapes designs i was like so best fiends on my phone doesn't count no it does not yes i think it does i was like do you have to like eat spinach and stuff too because that might no fuck that might be hard for me no but you're supposed to keep doing actually do you know what's really good for alzheimer's and dementia is what oh bourbon whiskey well alcohol

in general at very low amounts okay over over the course of time apparently there was an article that came out that said one person said one guy yeah one black house is like one it's good for you to not get alzheimer's loves whiskey no you know it's good it's good you don't get alzheimer's they're like okay no it said that it's i think what it is is and i'm wrong just i'm probably wrong but it's something about how it um alcohol helps uh synapses continue to fire because you know how how when you do drink, sometimes you'll enter a crevice in your mind you haven't been in in a long time. You're like, look at this bin I haven't really been around. And then if you drink too much,

those bins could all get closed. I had that happen last night. You got lit up. I went shopping with my wife at Neiman Marcus. And they all have like a bar in them, which is very smart. And I hate shopping. Same.

I was like, why don't you go shop? I'm gonna go get an espresso martini. Fuck yeah. This guy gave me like four, where they leave the shaker. Shaker, oh yeah. I think there was like four in this and I was a little lit.

I didn't even mark it. I was spilling, I was spilling. And I was by myself. I looked't even mark it. I was spilling. I was spilling. And I was by myself. I looked like a fucking loser. But it's genius. It's genius because then you're more apt to be like, yeah, buy it.

Yeah, I'm like, whatever you want, yelling down the escalators. Get it, baby! Spilling. Get it, baby! Get it! It's seven pairs of jeans. Forget it!

Get it. I'm like, this is for my brain health the extra shaker the extra stuff in the shaker the reason they do that in my mind yeah is because it reminds us of when we were kids and you'd get the the metal with the milkshake yeah when they give all that was the best fuck when you're like there's still more treats and the way that the guy would drop give it to you and just be like, a little bit extra. And you're like, you son of a bitch. And I think that the bartender was smart because he knew I'd tip more.

And I did. Of course. I was like. Do you feel like because you are, you know, famous is a weird word, but because you're known. Right. Do you feel like you got to over tip? Yeah, for sure you be over tipping i well i i am so bad with math truth be told i came on here just to tell you

what a dumb ass i am i'm really bad at math i'm that person that has the like tip calculator sure but so now i just tell my wife i go you have to just just be in charge of the bill and the tip yeah i get that. And she's good about that stuff. And she knows how to over tip and do the game. Yeah. Because you do know when they know you. I know.

Especially if somebody goes, Fortune, I'm a big fan. But I'm not like, I don't have like, you know, like Price is Right money or like. Very weird reference, but I get it. The rock money. You could have said anything else. I don't know. Where, you know, you hear like some stories

that are like, oh, so-and-so, everywhere they go, they tip like a hundred bucks. That Drew Carey. Yeah. That's exactly, I think that's what you're referencing.

I think that's probably what my brain was singing. He used to eat often at a similar place and then I would, one of the girls one time told me he tipped a hundred dollars whether he got eggs

or coffee or a meal. And I was like like every time she goes every fucking time without fail and that's amazing I love that I don't quite make that money $100 bills just thrown around in the sky like they don't exist $100

I do alright but you know but that seems a lot that seems much but it's great if you have the means to do that I think that's amazing by the, but if he does go out for a steak dinner and the meal is like $300, he's still leaving only $100. That's not enough. He's just leaving $100. In here, we pour whiskey.

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with me. Ginger. I like gingers. So yeah, I go, I say to my wife, please, can you just be in charge of... Yeah.

You don't even need to ask me. You leave what you want to... You do it. Leave what you want to leave. Does she indulge in the sauce? Does she like the sauce? She does, yeah. She don't even need to ask me. You leave what you want to leave. Does she indulge in the sauce? Does she like the sauce? She does, yeah. She didn't like whiskey and bourbon when we first met.

I have turned her on to it. Well, because anybody from your region, it's almost embedded in the culture. It's around everywhere. Yeah, it's just so good. I love it old-fashioned. That's my go-to drink. Yeah.

She likes Manhattans. Okay, she's my grandfather. She'll get lit off those. Yeah, dude. Because they're sweet. There's sweet vermouth in there, right? Yeah, so she doesn't realize how much she's consumed. Well, because the sugar kind of catapults the alcohol.

I think people forget that. Whenever people love sugary drinks, they're like, I only had one. I only had one sugar drink. There's had one nine thousand grams of sugar in there you're just chugging glucose and stuff that's going to turn into sugar again yeah so that's so i like uh yeah like i and i i feel like i've gotten more into like learning about them and like the nicer ones because her stepdad is a big collector of bourbons like rare rare, rare bourbons and whiskeys. Right.

His collection's like unbelievable. He's one of those guys. Yeah. And he'll like drive like two hours because someone's told him that, you know, I don't know, some willet or- Willets around. You know, something's around. Those kind of guys I'm always blown away.

Like I have a great collection. It's been awesome. I don't go out of my way. I know, yeah, me neither. Because I have a whole life going on. You've got things to do. I can't drive two hours just to get a... That's wild to me that people...

People really dedicate. They're like, I have to do it. But when I go visit, he'll send me back with like four, three or four really great bottles of something. That's very cool. It's really nice, yeah. I mean something that's very cool it's really nice yeah i mean that's very generous too because a lot of those people a lot of people hold on to

stuff because they want it for that's the one thing i learned about special occasion whiskey and i've got a couple special but i don't really save them for special occasions i save them for special people like if somebody says i really want xyz well then i, well, then I'll give it to them. Yeah. You know, because if somebody doesn't care about whiskey or doesn't know it. Yeah. They're not, they have no idea what they have. It doesn't matter. Yeah.

And it's not going to taste any different. But I don't need a special moment in time because I will say I had a bottle of, somebody gave me a bottle of like a Johnny Walker blue scotch and it's expensive bottle. This was many, many many many years ago when i did i got something it was something in the business i actually don't remember sadly what it was but i thought i'm gonna crack this too many accolades well you know look at me now but it was something like i maybe booked a pilot that probably never ever went but and it's something agent or someone gave it to me and i thought i'm gonna save this until the time is right and it's still uncracked really but i do this i keep it in my home bar as a reminder to crack all the other ones crack them open crack everything open so i keep it uncracked

to be like remember how you thought there was going to be some like moment in time right because there's never going to be there's never like a perfect champagne to the like really expensive fucking open it up open it up actually i think opening good champagne on a night that means absolutely nothing is the most fun it's pretty nice if it's like a popcorn and shitty movie night some fried chicken with it fucking smoke open that expensive bottle do it speaking of which i started a movie the other night that we had nice uh nice booze with uh the gray man i don't know what that is boy oh boy do you not need to see it okay well good to know was it scary i'm not sure i should say no it was just like it's you know i was moody it was uh uh

billy bob thornton uh chris evans and chris evans chris evans wait chris evans oh the there's like an action thing yeah oh ryan reynolds no no it's uh it's um it's uh uh uh ryan gosling that was yes yeah and no hate to any of these people okay i think that movie cost like a bazillion dollars to make but it was just like it's just i it's when you do an action movie and it's not up to par yeah it's gonna let you down so much more. Right. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like a shitty rom-com bothers me less than an action movie

that's like half in. No, they spent $5 million. Who cares? Also, especially on the heels of Tom Cruise. Top Gun was so good. That was good. In the next couple of years, everything's going to be kind of shit.

Yeah. Like everything you see, you're going to be like, well, Top Gun, man, fucking. Right. A buddy told me there was a theater in maybe pasadena or something that they have 300 degree um they were showing in 300 degrees so you're out of your peripheral you can see planes flying by that is that's why i was like that's crazy we made so much money i know why didn't we do that movie over a billion dollars we

could have done that movie i just filmed a thing with uh the female uh lead well um not um not tom's love interest but the girl the pilot the the yeah uh why can't i think of her name she played phoenix i know i know who she is oh monica lowinsky she's making a comeback and comeback is right no you filmed what? a new show? it's an action series which is crazy with Arnold Schwarzenegger I spent five months in Toronto with him

and now you're republican now I am straight and republican did he give you a big watch? dude that guy that guy is still so jacked he is it's shocking how old is this man? 75 Dude, that guy is still so jacked. He is. It's shocking. How old is this man?

75. Wow. And he was on his feet all day every day. He was in all the scenes. He had to memorize so much and killed it. Killed it? Killed it. Wow.

He just has that thing. He has that movie star thing. He moved here for a reason, dude. Yeah. He knew when he came to America, that's what you got to do. Yeah. You got to love God. He has that movie star thing. He moved here for a reason, dude. Yeah. He knew when he came to America, that's what you got to do. Yeah. You got to love God. He had a vision.

Guns. Okay. No, but that's great. When does it come out? I don't know. Sometimes next year on Netflix. On the Flix. On the Flix.

You're like a little darling over there on Netflix. I mean, I've been bopping around. That's great, though. Because I do their radio show. Yes, you and the pop. And the old Tom Papa. He texted me the other day because I'll show you. Well, I can't show you.

One of the texts I can't show you because it's a nude. But Papa. I would love it if Tom sent you nudes. Sent me nudes? Well, so Tom and I, I ran into Tom. A golf thing? No, no, no. Tell me how much this is just like a tom pop attack it's just a coaster oh yeah it's a very pop but so the broom street bar in soho yeah um both of us love to go and visit sometimes oh really i've always loved stopping by so once a trip when i'm there i'll swing by and I ran into him and he's like, what are you doing here?

I'm like, I was coming here to get a drink before I met up with somebody. Yeah. And he's like, I'm kind of doing the same thing. Oh, y'all were both pre-gaming. Well, kind of just. By yourself? Well, because he was reading and having a drink and I just wanted to like. Sounds like Tom.

Yeah. Reading in a bar. Reading in a bar. I just wanted to have a drink and relax before. I was meeting up with someone hours later. Yeah. And he was like, I'm kind of doing the same thing. Yeah. and a bar I just wanted to have a drink and relax before I was meeting up with someone and hours later yeah and he was like I'm kind of doing the same thing

yeah he's like I always come and I was like I love coming here too and what are you doing in a situation like that do you feel pressure to then sit together

or you're like no because a friend of mine was in the neighborhood and was like I'm gonna come say hi gotcha and I said to Tom I'll be outside

if you want to come say hi yeah but he wanted and he did say the very Tom Papa. He was like, I'm going to sit alone for a while. Yeah. So I respect it. But he came and said bye. He has his boundaries. I know. I like that. And this is me time.

It was. Truly. And before he left, I said, you could come give Papa a kiss. Give me a kiss. So he gave me a kiss. Give me a kiss. Before you go, give me a kiss. But no, it's just so funny that he we both share that thing. Even though like I do like being give me a kiss. But no, it's just so funny that he, we both share that thing. Even though like I do like being around people a lot.

You need a minute. I like to do a little disappear me, be me alone thingy. I need that too. I usually do it at my house, like on the couch. Home is your getaway. Do you tell her to fuck off? I mean, my wife is really good about. She takes her own time yeah

because she like we spend a lot of time together but she definitely like the kind of retreats herself too so that's nice yeah they got you got to know you got to have like a i also have times when i'll say like i'm going for a drive and i just want to go yeah i know how funny how antiquated going for a drive is remember as a, we would go for a drive. I always feel like I need an excuse, though. I just say I'm going to CVS and I might go take a drive. That's interesting because I'll just be like, I'm going to go get gas into the bank. But I'm essentially doing that, too.

I want to drive. I like driving. I'm doing the same thing. But I've now admitted that I'm going to just go for a drive sometimes. But I'll say, like, I kind of want to drive, you know, down to so-and-so and come back. Yeah. And obviously she doesn't care, but I do kind of love sitting in the fucking car. My favorite time is like late, late at night.

Yeah. Because no one's on the road. You can two in the morning it all over the place, 1.30 in the morning. And I kind of fucking love it. Yeah. Sometimes I'll like pull into the driveway and sit for a minute and like finish whatever i'm listening to oh i do that yeah i've done that and then sometimes they come out to the window like what are you doing what are you doing are you okay

just having a breakdown especially just bawling especially after a set late night after a set you're humming you're vibrating a little bit particularly if your mind is in a place where you're like god i had a great set or i loved that or that was fun or trying to remember what right piece stuff together and i think you do kind of need a little um it's either that or yeah you need something in between it's either that or i want like a drink or food which is my like instinct is to be like have a drink at home and write and think or go eat and so instead of the two I'm like if I just like hang out and go take a drive or take longer to get home take a longer way home yeah it helps my engine cool off a little yeah I get that I love I love driving anytime like my wife's like we can order it um

to be delivered I'm like I'll pick it up I do the same thing yeah I'm always like I'll just go pick it up I did it last night I went to go get ramen I was like I'll get it yeah she's'm like, I'll go get it. I'll pick it up. I do the same thing. Yeah. I'm always like, I'll just go pick it up. I did it last night. I went to go get ramen. I was like, I'll get it. Yeah. She's like,

no, no, no, I'll pick up. I'm like, yeah, she's like, they can just deliver it. I'm like, I kind of want to go get it. Because it's nice to get up

and get out. And then you come back and then you realize they fucked up your order and you go all the way back. You gotta go all the way back. And you go, and I said spicy

and this is also, this is not, these aren't the thin, these are the thick noodles. And they go, oh, we didn't see it in the toolkit. Okay, James Corden. And this is also, this is not, these aren't the thin, these are the thick noodles. And they go, oh, we didn't see it in the toolkit. Okay, James Corden. And so then they. So then you spit on the guy at Balthazar.

And you say, I'm never coming back here again. You know how it goes. That's so funny. And he responded to it or whatever it is. And when I read this stuff about how people are to people at restaurants. Yeah. You know, and who knows? I wasn't, we fucking weren't there.

We don't know how this all went down. But in your mind, you immediately are like, you can either see someone doing it, and you go, I can see that. Yeah, I can see that. Or you're like, oh, this is a bullshit story. This is bullshit. You know right away.

When someone's like, and then they went to the da-da-da-da. You can always tell if it's exaggerated with a, you should have seen how they were at the place. The other ones I love though. The thing I like is when I'll go to a restaurant somewhere in a town or something that's, you know, on the,

on a tour on the road and they'll go, you know who we had here? X, Y, Z. And they'll go, man, it was,

they, they, they had the staff there late. They told a great story. And that always makes me feel like, like I'm going to be the let down version. You're not as fun. I get that all the time.

Especially when I did Chelsea lately. They would be like, so-and-so went out with everybody afterwards and bought shots for everyone. I was like, can I get some chicken wings to go after the show? I got this hotel calling my name. I gotta go watch Netflix and eat some chicken wings.

It is true that when they go, yo, you know who came here before and really just fucking blew the place apart? And then they'll go, how was Fortune? It's like, oh man, she did great.

She was awesome. She went back to the hotel with chicken wings. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They changed their pitch. Yeah, they're like, oh, you know, they would tell me that

and I would be like, I would just straight up be like, I'm going to let you guys down so hard this weekend. Well, because sometimes I am in the mood to have some fun. And there are certain clubs that when I do go back and do them, I'll always have a drink with the staff. And I want to hang out because I know them for years. And sometimes you're like, oh, fuck, I'm tired. You're so tired. Yeah.

I mean. You did a bunch of work. Yeah. But people are like, for some reason, I'm tired. You're so tired. Yeah. I mean. You did a bunch of work. Yeah. But people are like, for some reason, they don't feel that way. And so they're like, you're like, I just built the house. They're like, I know, let's party in it. Yeah. Like, it's really.

I know. It's a little exhausting. But that's because part of our job is to be fun and. Yeah. Bring fun to the crowd. I know. So everybody else is like, well, let's keep that going. I know.

Mateo. I ran into Mateo when we were in Wisconsin, in Madison. fun to the crowd so everybody else is like well let's keep that going i know mateo i ran and ran into mateo when we were in uh in wisconsin in madison and you know this guy he he hugs and kisses every single person that comes to the show really he does free and he does like ass grabs to everybody and then he'll do he'll fan for life he'll well and also do uh yeah custom paintings of everybody he really no he doesn't he does a polar opposite i was gonna go say hi he's like i'll be right upstairs i'll see you in a minute but it is it's hard now to pay it's it it gets harder to dedicate the time in between because you you want to be ready for the next show or the next thing yeah and i think as the

older you get that that scale of like the older you get the less you can give all that extra time yeah unless you're chrysler who seems to be fucking oh man unlimited he has more energy than anyone i've ever seen he's a he's a teenage boy he's a good fucking 14 year old boy and i did his um i did the um fully loaded oh the fully loaded yeah one of the shows in rochester and it was at the end of their weekend, so he was feeling it for sure. So that was the only time I've ever seen him quiet, but he was building it back up.

You could see that he was kind of like this, and he got his big coffee, and he was conserving everything he had because he was going to go blow the roof off. And then the switch hits, and he's like... And then the shirt comes off on stage and then they party again all night. That is fucking wild.

You've been taking your shirt off a lot on stage as well. Yeah, you know, I got to give the people what they want. They did yell for me to take my shirt off because I'm built similarly. They were like, take it off, take it off. I think Nikki did, but I was like... Really? Not on the one show I did, but I was like. Really? Not on the one show I did, but I think she, I saw her post a picture.

Of doing the, taking the shirt off. Yeah. But Nikki got a whole different body than me. Nikki. Nikki took her shirt off. That makes sense. I get that. That's, that's, uh, it's a very, I, I, um, no, won't.

No, no chance. No, you won't do it. I'm quicker to take my pants off than my shirt off. You seem like you would no, no chance. No, I'm quicker to take my pants off. You seem like you would, you're working with something quicker to take my pants off than my shirt off. Really? Yeah. Cause that bit's funnier to me.

My body is normal enough in my own mind where it's like, if I take my shirt off, they'll go, Oh, it's not, you know what I mean? With him, he's got that beautiful belly and it's funny. It's like, he's a, it's he's a it's like a it's like a weirdly fit belly yeah i just have like a i look like a guy like some people have like a flabby yeah big belly but this is like tight yeah it's tight it's rock hard rock hard from years of booze vodka just forming that stone belly i gotta clear my throat do it baby clear that throat i've been needing to do that for like 30 minutes.

Keep it in, Joe. Don't keep it in, Joe. Take it out, Joe. I didn't want to like spit all over your mic. Okay, thank you for letting me do that. I don't care about that. You can spit all over that thing. But we skipped over this pop-up because you and the pops do your own pod.

We do, yeah. I know. We ran through it because I wanted to mention we love Tom Pop over here. But you guys have your pod for Netflix. We do. Are you still humming along? Yeah. Three and a half, over three years in.

I can't believe it. I can. We do it Monday through Thursday on SiriusXM. It's great. Netflix is a joke radio. What number is that? 93. 93.

Three? Yeah. Because the comedy is 90 to 98, right? Yeah. It's so funny when you go through the comedies on SiriusXM and it's like Netflix. 93. Three? Yeah. Because the comedy is 90 to 98, right? Yeah. It's so funny when you go through the comedies on SiriusXM and it's like Netflix. You'll hear your friend on the radio. That's so weird.

That's annoying. I immediately call someone. Yeah. I'm like, fuck you. This joke sucks. But then they'll also have like Throwback, whatever, Throwback Channel. Yeah. And it's like a comic from the 80s I've never heard of in my entire life.

I know, yeah. It's so wild. That library that they've built up and they're probably not paying anybody for any of that fair use shit, but good on you, Sirius. I'll get one of those checks

sometimes from Radio Play like once in a while from that service, whatever that's called. And I'm like, oh, that's pretty good. Yeah. But then I think,

how many times is this playing? How many times? Yeah, you don't, because they don't put that. They don't got to tell you. It's like, here's that's pretty good. But then I think, how many times is this playing? How many times? Yeah, because they don't put that. They don't got to tell you. It's like, here's a little dough to keep quiet. Here's seven bucks. You shut up. You shut your mouth.

You shut your fucking little mouth. You shut your dirty comedian mouth. Shut your mouth and take this money. And we're like, all right. Yeah. Fine. That's fine. All right.

Yeah. Fine. That's fine. No, and I actually got a residual check for 16 or 17 cents the other day from like my first TV stand up on Carson Daily. Wow. Up late with Carson Daily. Yeah. Is that what it was called

where did that rerun it was like an international buy it was so weird I was like why would this be like some guy in Latvia is like gotta watch Carson Daly

Carson Daly you're like you're like cha-ching yeah pockets 16 cents to the bank anyway that's why

they played it 16 times it was a penny per play they just looped that episode they really loved that episode. They really loved that episode. I like looking back at some of these old... It's particularly the ones that are like, you know, 20 cents or 45 cents. And it's funny to think that will go on for as long as someone is willing,

some salesperson is willing to sell it to an international market. Yeah. That's creepy as shit to me. That someone around the world is going to watch that in some weird little hotel room somewhere, and it's 20 years old. Yeah, because I've been in random countries and some bizarre stand-up set from someone I know pops up.

That's so creepy. And you're like, what? Yeah, like I read somewhere, somewhere in the world at any hour of the day, Seinfeld is playing. That is crazy.

But I, yeah. But I get it. Yeah. Kramer. Kramer. Kramer's probably the most, he's probably the most

global character that you could, you could, no matter what, because he's so animated, no matter what country on the world, they would go, this guy,

that's funny. That and friends everywhere. I know. Just a bunch of whites in an apartment. What a show. What a show. What a white apartment show. Are you making your own show,

by the way? Uh, no. You should. Really? Why not? I tried. I tried.

Not, not to say I won't try again. You're so apt to have your own thing. Well, I appreciate it. I tried to do my own I won't try again. You're so apt to have your own thing. Well, I appreciate it. I tried to do my own sitcom. I shot it for ABC like 2015. Yeah.

But it didn't get picked up. So then you're like, mm-mm. Well, then I just, development's so, like you know, it's so hard. It's a nightmare. It's so long. Yeah. Then I shift, I was like, oh, I'm going to write movies. And now I've sold three movies but it's like

a four year development like where it's still a possibility yeah no it exists four years later you know people don't know when somebody goes

this took forever to make and they're like how long as long as you've had that second job you had yeah I'm about to do like an animated

I sold like an animated pilot cool so I I'm gonna write it and they'll decide if they want to move forward. You better fucking take it. You know who you are.

You better fucking pick up the show and do it. Otherwise, we're going to have to have a talk with you. That's right. Regardless of all that, I want to say thank you. I love you. Same shoes, by the way. Thank you.

I love you. It's a complete accident. Twins. Complete accident. And the bluebacks? Shoe kiss. Bluebacks. Yeah, baby.

We're twins. Twinsies Complete accident. And the bluebacks. Shoe kiss. Bluebacks. Yeah, baby. Twinsies. I appreciate you coming. I want everyone to please do me a favor and go on the Netflix. Go on it. And put on Good Fortune, whether or not it's in the background, whether or not you're putting the kids to bed, whether or not you're actually sitting and watching the whole thing. Please. Either way, watch her special right now.

And if you don't- We're going to be so mad at you. We're going to be bummed. We'll be so sad. But you have to be nice about it. That's right. You should, though. And I'll be working out new material at some clubs if people are into that.

You're going on a little club tour? Yeah, like Huntsville, Alabama, Ontario, California, Oxnard, California, San Jose, and Irvine. Let's go. Those will be over the next three months. California, come out and see. What's the website? Fortunefeimster.com. Fortunefeimster.com.

We'll put it in the description below. And then also Huntsville, Alabama. Very, very fun. Very underrated. Didn't know about it until I left Nashville, went down there. Yeah. And my driver said, go be a bunch of nerds at the show. That's what he said. Oh, becauses at the show that's what he said

that's what he said and I was like really? he drove me by NASA, I looked at it and I go that's really cool and he goes that is the cool part about this area and I was like yeah and he goes cause about a mile down that way is where the KKK got started

I was like interesting and I was like I hope they don't come to the show he's like I highly doubt they'll come see your show I was like, interesting. I did not know that. And I was like, I hope they don't come to the show. He's like, I highly doubt they'll come see your show. I was like, okay, cool.

They're like, that's good. He's like, they're not into you. I don't have KKK stuff. Yeah, you're doing something right. I guess.

It was so weird. It was like that, the juxtaposition of putting NASA and where the KKK. Isn't that wild? Yeah. Well, I'll be there trying to write new material.

So come out, NASA folks. There you go. What's the date? When are you wild? Yeah. Well, I'll be there trying to write new material. So come out, NASA folks. There you go. Get on out, nerds. What's the date? When are you there? November? It's like 17th or 18th. Go out.

Go out. My mom's coming. Oh, really? Yeah, she'll be there. Well, if you want to meet Fortune's mom, which is probably a lot cooler than the set. She's delightful. Then come out and see her, Huntsville. FortuneFeebster.com.

Thank you. Thank you. Do me one favor. We end the episode the same way you look into that camera and you say one word or one phrase to end the episode forever

I don't remember what you said the last time I don't either no then we hope it's different just end one word or one phrase right into that camera

whenever you're ready um buttholes in here we pour whiskey whiskey Buttholes. Buttholes. In here, we pour whiskey. Whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey. You are that creature in the ginger beard. Sturdy and ginger.

Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are beautiful. You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse. Gingers are hell no. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers.