Whiskey Ginger with Andrew Santino - Frank Caliendo Becomes Everyone! | Whiskey Ginger

Episode Date: February 6, 2026

Welcome to Whiskey Ginger a Wave series. Andrew Santino sits down with legendary impressionist and comedian Frank Caliendo for an episode that turns into a masterclass in voices, timing, and controlled chaos. They talk about building iconic impressions, staying sharp after decades in comedy, and why commitment is everything when you’re stepping into someone else’s voice. Frank jumps in and out of characters effortlessly, leaving Santino (and the audience) scrambling to keep up. 🌐 Frank Caliendo tour dates & info: https://www.frankonstage.com IN THIS EPISODE: • How Frank develops and maintains his impressions • The mental speed required to perform at his level • Santino and Caliendo talk comedy longevity and craft • Why impressions still crush when done right Drop a comment with the impression that broke your brain. #WhiskeyGinger #AndrewSantino #FrankCaliendo #ComedyPodcast #StandUpComedy #Impressions #PodcastClips #Comedians ======================================================== SUPPORT OUR SPONSOR SQUARESPACE USE PROMO CODE: WHISKEY GET 10% OFF YOUR ORDER https://squarespace.com/whiskey Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Local news is in decline across Canada, and this is bad news for all of us. With less local news, noise, rumors, and misinformation fill the void, and it gets harder to separate truth from fiction. That's why CBC News is putting more journalists in more places across Canada, reporting on the ground from where you live, telling the stories that matter to all of us, because local news is big news. Choose news, not noise.

CBC News. Investing is all about the future. So what do you think's going to happen? Bitcoin is sort of inevitable at this point. I think it would come down to precious metals. I hope we don't go cashless. I would say land is a safe investment. Technology companies.

Solar energy. Robotic pollinators might be a thing. A wrestler to face a robot, that will have to happen. So whatever you think is going to happen in the future, you can invest in it at WealthSimple. Start now at WealthSimple.com. Amazon presents Juan versus baby. Drunk on milk and power.

This bundle of sheer chaos only comes with three settings, crying, pooping, and crying while pooping. But Juan shopped on Amazon and saved on pacifiers, diaper cream, and a colossal bag of coffee beans. Hear that baby, Juan just rocked you to sleep. Save the everyday with deals from Amazon. Welcome to Whiskey Ginger, a Wave series. Hey, hey, hey, I'm jumping around. Come see me. I'm going to be up in Canyonville, Oregon, February 14th.

Then in March 14th, just one month later, the bad friends. Bobby Lee and I are going to be over at Lincoln, California, which is basically Sacramento. Then at the wind casino, I'm playing Vegas. Viva Las Vegas, March 21st, March 27th. I'm going to be in Providence, Rhode Island at the Little Rodey Fest. Then April 3rd, I am going back to the Borgata in Atlantic City to that make-up date because of the weather. And finally, bad friends are playing.

Netflix is a joke fest at the YouTube theater here in Los Angeles, California, on May 8th. Go to Andrewsantino.com for those tickets, Andrewsantino. In here, we pour whiskey, whisk, whisk, whisk, whisk. You were that creature in the ginger beard. Sturdy and ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Ginger's a fugitive. You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse.

Ginger's, oh, hell now. This whiskey. is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to whiskey ginger. My guest is one of my favorite people on Earth. I say that for all my guests, but I mean once again today, it is Frank Caliando.

And you have to say it with an accent. Yeah, but apparently at the beginning, the CA, you went Caliando. Well, Chicago. Caliando? Frank Caliando over there. You know Frank Caliando? It's fantastic. He was on his way.

He was on his way to Armand's Pizzi. He stopped at River Road Hot Dogs. What was he doing over there? I have no idea. That's what I was saying. spent most of the time. Well, his brother's ex-girlfriend was working across the street there. That's what I heard.

That's what I heard. She died. She did? She died. Nobody tells me anything. Well, I'm sorry. You don't get those phone calls no more. But you know, why?

Because when you moved, you know, you move, where are you out? You're like at Edgewater or somewhere you live? No, I'm in Elwood Park right now. Oh, you are? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Well, that's all right over there. Just across, just across from the circle over there.

Oh, you're right next to it. Yeah. Oh, that's nice. Yeah. Yeah. Good for you guys. Look, you move up. You know where a park is? Sorry to cut you off to you.

But you know where the park is, right? Of course. They're just like two streets over and it's us and you're just right there. Oh, okay, yeah. I know that. Frankie's son was there for a month and a half doing a gig. He was building over there. You're thinking on the other side.

Oh, now up on our side of the street? Yeah, it's all right. Oh, yeah. Frank Callianda, what a pleasure to have on the show. Thank you for coming to the show. I love the speed of your intro too. I have to get through it really fast. Why is that?

Just because everybody doesn't care. Nobody cares. Nobody cares. Nobody cares, which is the name of my. of my new tour. Nobody cares. Already taken. I've already doing it. I've been doing, I've done three of those. No, stop it. Yeah, no. I, uh, yeah.

It's a pleasure to have you on the show. We met in Las Vegas. We were in, uh, in a suite at the palms at an after party, uh, which had a basketball court inside of the hotel room. Did you play it all? When I was a kid. No, but I mean there? Oh, I shot a couple times. And then the young guys took over. You can't get in their way. No. The guys in their 20s, they really wanted to hoop.

And I'm just an old fogy now. Hold on, I'm sorry. Is the mic okay where it is? I feel like it should be closing right now. No, no. I got you loud and clear. Or you got me great. But if you want me to fuck with it, I can do that.

No, and don't edit that. Just I want people to see how rude I am. You're in the middle of the story. No, no, I do like it. And then I just. Well, the mic, we did this. We put it at a position where if you move, it moves. It moves.

Well, it's that thing where people tell you get real close to the mic and eat the mic, all the time and then I don't have to eat the mic here. You don't have to. But yours looks closer. So I started to worry. We want to hide his face. We don't want to hide yours. Correct. Come on. We don't have to be honest. No, but that is very, it's very, very true. A lot of times the comments are, hey, could Santino not be on the show and just speak to the guests from off camera? Like, it's a documentary. Really? Oh yeah. Most of our fans would like that. Everybody looks to the side?

They'd prefer it. Yeah, they'd prefer it. There's a guy named Vlad TV. Do you know, Vlad Vlad only does interviews like that where he's not on camera. Very smart. It's so interesting. Well, it works. And it gets, oh my God, they get millions of views. And that hits the algorithm. Yeah, I think because people, his voice doesn't sound like what he looks like. Oh, yeah.

So I think it's an interesting twist. A lot of like hip hop gossip. A lot of hip hop gossip. Oh, that's, big into. Yeah, yeah. What is your musical taste? Hold on. Let's get back. I don't have one.

Really? Maybe classic rock might be. Like, what's your band of bands? Oh, see, I don't know. I know a little bit of music, but like in high school, I wasn't into music. so I started faking it. So I started getting like jukebox kind of songs. Like it was like everything was Steve Miller band.

Yeah. A lot of journey thrown in. Yeah. Trying to think what else. The Eagles. Yeah, then I had friends who were like really into like up and coming grunge. So like Saigon kick the lizard. Whoa.

They had their CD. Wow. Yeah, it was like weird stuff. If somebody else got into something, I would pretend that I was kind of into it too because I knew nothing about music. I do like, I know what to see a Billy Joel concert. Yeah, he's good. I'll tell you this about Billy Joel.

You know him personally, I imagine. No, I don't. I'll tell you this about just seeing him from a film. Oh, okay. He has so much fun on stage. I've never seen anything like it. I've never seen anybody who entertains, outside of comedy, somebody who has that much fun just messing around

and is that good at it. Like a lot of time you see a band and the lead singer wants to be a comedian the whole time. Oh, we know all these bands. We've seen these bands many times. And it's the opposite. A lot of comedians want to be a rock and roll star. But he is so good at just from top to bottom, just weaving in and out, changing words and lyrics. Like I was thought impressions were a cheat code, you know.

There's a cheat code to an impression. But there's an even bigger cheat code to me. musical comedy. Oh, yeah. Because when you can strum the guitar in between the the the jokes, you can play, as we're coming up, I'm assuming you did this too, you play like colleges or something like that, and you play the lunchroom at noon. Oh, yeah. And nobody's listening. No, people are just trying to figure out, you know, how to shut you up and get the TV volume back on. but you can strum that guitar and fill the silence. Oh, yeah.

It's a great tool. People have done it with the piano a little bit too. Yeah. But the guitar is just so great because you can just go into a little riff and then you can rhyme something. And if you can rhyme something in a voice that sounds like somebody with a puppet,

now you're doing it. Now you're hitting strides. There is a little trick. There is a little magician's trick to it all, right? Like even in comedy, you hear people's beats, you know, like, and this isn't a negative, thing, but everyone has their bag of tricks. And like Sebastian

has a very rhythmic beat to the way he does his comedy, right? Or like, you know, it's like we all find our little trick that helps the way that we write jokes. And musicians do the exact same thing. And one thing I've seen, and it is like playing music. It's like playing, I talk, this is somebody I did talk about it, Michael Boubley.

Name drop? Boobbies. He talked about how he pulls from lots of different famous singers to get his satisfaction. He's like a camele in that guy. Yeah, yeah. He really does change the shape.

Yeah, he's, you hear sometimes when he sings, I can't tell that that's Michael Boubley. Do you know what I mean? Like if, um... Well, if it's a Christmas song, you have a chance. Well, yeah, but that's about it. Okay. But if Celine Dion is singing, I know it's Celine Dion. Right.

Like, Michael Bublay is a kind of guy where I'm like, he can do ten different versions of... Because he knows how to do, he can sing in different songs. How'd you get in, uh, hooked up with him? On the TikTok, believe it or not. I said something to him on TikTok. I just, uh, uh, I just left a comment going to see you in Vegas with my wife and daughter and my mother-in-law. And he said, is this really you or something?

I think it was verified. And then he's like, do you want to come up and do something? So we go to the show. I don't tell my family at all. We're there in the crowd. We've got pretty good seats, really good seats. We actually got moved to the seats where he could talk to me. And in the middle of the show, he starts doing Elvis, right?

And he goes, listen, I'm not a great. I can't do a great Elvis. I'm no Frank Caliando. My family looks around. My kid, my daughter's like, like, what, do you think he does? My wife goes, do you think he does that every show? I'm like, I don't know.

I don't know. You know, I'm kind of like, is that the moment he's going to do? And then he dedicates a song to Juliet, my daughter, in the audience. And my wife goes, you didn't. Yeah, it kind of did. Did you go on stage? I didn't go on stage.

He just came out to me and I did some Morgan Freeman with him. It was funny because, he had me do Morgan Freeman and he's kind of a guy's guy too. So he's most of his audience is, it's a lot of women. A lot of ladies. A lot of ladies. He's a lady killer that guy. He is.

Yeah, handsome boy. Yeah, tremendous. But he had me, he had me do the Morgan Freeman. I don't remember if he had me do some mad or something, but then he had me do some Trump. And it was kind of like the audience wasn't sure how that, like, that wasn't like the Trump crowd. It wasn't exactly what we were talking about. and I did the quiet Trump, the one where it almost looks like him a ventralquest.

You don't say other words. You just say, am I talking right now? Am I not talking? Give me something to drink. I can drink. I'm going to drink. I'm one of the best of this. I drink while I'm talking. Trump would try that. Oh, yeah. He would talk while he's true.

But he wouldn't be able to, but he's the claim. I'm the best at talking with the drink I talk with the drink and the best and the whiskey ginger there's a lot of paper that are the whiskey ginger

and the whiskey ginger they would have a lot of trouble I try to do a different trump than what everybody else does a lot of people's trumps are up here that's the common one the high one where he does this

and you're a piece of crap but if he goes down little piggy no you're a little piggy it's that pushing yeah strain.

Yeah. But you do the... Such and there's something different. Something low. Something at the episode. Then we spoke to them and we didn't like anything I was saying and that's what it is. Have you always done impressions? No?

Oh, yeah, maybe. Because you're good at it. I'm okay. I think it was... Well, you're better than okay. I've seen what you do and I've seen more and more because I see something and then it shows up in the algorithm. Sure, yeah.

And I try not to watch a lot of impressions because I don't want to be influenced by how somebody else does something. See, that's my biggest. So my thing was always like, I do more impressions of people I've met versus people that are famous. Right. That was always, like the Chicago thing, or if I do another accent, it's someone I've met or something I've heard and it's stuck in me. Well, that how, I mean, when you, but the thing is, it's probably because you haven't met as many of the people you could do, you have thought to do an impression. Maybe some of them. I mean. Because once you meet somebody, it unlocks something. There is a thing, and that's, I did a sketch with Trump maybe 20 years ago

at Trump Tower, dressed as Trump and like we're just, you know, doing the stuff and my Trump has changed since then, but his voice has changed. Totally. He's, he does less of that one. Now he still does it where he does the power through. Yeah.

But they quiet when shows are below it because they haven't slept. What did you do with? Hold on them in the middle of a tremendous pause. I'm doing a great post. A lot of people have regular pauses. They have have pregnant poses and we're going to make them keep the babies. So what was the...

What was the... I think we just found a social media... Bing! Yeah. What do I call... I like honesty and stuff too. Like I love like... That's one of the things I like about you is like just complete honesty in the moment is

Just give it to them. That's what the people are thinking. But I'm scared a lot. I mean, I think you're right. But I've done so much corporate work for so long. Yeah. And been part, you know, with the NFL and stuff like that that I've always, I always bring it back a little bit. I get worried about it.

Well, it's hard to do live on air, right? Like if you're talking. You can't do it. No, because you won't get ass back. Yeah. And if you're doing Madden. And I'm sure John said wild shit. Oh, yeah.

I mean, for legends. Legend has it. He was like rough. But you have to do this PG version. Yeah, on there, right? Yeah, you have to. But live, you can do whatever you want. Right.

I'm clean, though, because I had so many people coming out. It wasn't anything other than I knew the people that were coming to see me. So I was always really careful with that. But that might be getting unleashed more and more. We'll see. As time has gone on. Yeah, you know, I just start to feel. I do less corporate work now.

So it's like, well, now I don't have to be as careful with it. But yeah, Madden was known as like, you know, this is like second and third-hand stories, but like, your name's Dickhead. I'm going to call you Dickhead because your head looks like a dick. So you got your body right there. That's a regular body. And then boom. I mean, if you look at that, boom.

Dude. So, but back to the, this is my life. I don't know if you always, but meandering the way. No, we meander. This show is a meandered show. But you hit the right, like the things on it. There are very people who do very generic impressions. And then there are specifics that are the tougher.

I heard you do it in Mark Norman. I heard you and Adam. Adam, yeah, going back and forth. And do some of the Norman. Hey, Kelly Endo, he's gay. He's not. Who knows? We'll see.

See, and that's, it's real close to how I would do Drew Carey. It's like, yeah, man, sounds pretty good. But if you bring it in, it's like more throat. Yeah, it's way in my throat. And you do, in that, it's like, that comes from there. I buried Norm, I found Norman one time because I said something that sounded like it was him. And someone was like, it sounds like Norman said that. And then I wrote a joke that wasn't my kind of joke.

It was a Normandy joke. Right. And then I started saying it as him to our friends. And that's kind of how it started. They were like, that sounds just like Mark would say that. I wonder if when Mark Norman, when people were with, maybe he'd, brings his own people the most time. But it was like when Dave Attal, when I was younger,

anybody I saw work with David Tell and then I work with David Tell, by the end of the week I was talky talking like this. Hmm? Yeah. Like all my, like, what do you think John Madden would say? Yeah. How about this? And I'm just going, hokey dokey. Hmm? Yeah. And I'm going, well, now I'm just doing Dave. Dave. Dave Atel.

Through you. Through me. Like, and I got to fix that. I mean, there's, there were those things. You see Brian Regan, you start repeating. Start going to go over here now. Going to go, going to go the right side of the stage. You're going to go the right side of the stage, Donut, lady. Okay. And then you got to go from the big, you go from the really big, you know, from the big one over here.

Okay. Yeah, and then you kind of just do the aside. So I was one, I said, you ever been over there? Okay. Doing some of that? All right. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay. On Krypton, the big red one was the son. Okay. The face when you end on it is that's the, that's the, that's a thing. There's, the faces, like the faces are cheat codes for when you don't have an impression. I always tell people, the mouth tells you how the person talks. The eyes tell you how the person thinks.

So when somebody does a Trump and they do the fish fish, you know, the, that, that. Yeah. Okay, they get that. But they don't always, especially if they're copying somebody, they don't get the acting part of it, which is the, you know, this is just doing Trump talking like this. You're talking and you're talking. But then when you, okay, you add in the thought process, and it's a tremendous thought process. And a lot of people, a lot of people have a good thought process,

but I had the best. So you add that. I talk about Jeff Goldblum. He looks like he's a painting in a haunted house. Like, oh, yes. Ooh, yes, you're going up the stairs. Where are you going? Ooh, look what's behind the door, I'll tell you,

but not before the wolfman grabs you. He also looks like he's eating an invisible hamburger very good. The mustard ketchup relish. Pickles, not relish. That would be on the hot dog. That's from a bit I've done before. And I just threw it in an accent. Muscle, what?

Muscle memory. Ooh. Ah. Ooh. Ah. Ooh. Ah. Oh.

Sounds vowels make but aren't the classics. Ooh. Now what I'm doing. Ooh. Yes. I don't know I'm conjuring something. That's how I find a lot of stuff. I lost my brother.

Have you had someone get mad? Now the mic did fall a little bit. Pick it up so we can, there we go. Did you, that should be good. Did you ever do anybody that got mad at you for doing them? Oh, yeah, yeah. I mean, the sports people are tough, which is what, you know, people know me for a lot of time. Like Gruden liked when you did.

Oh, he loves it, man. Yeah, Gruden's the best. I'll tell you what that should do that all day, man. It's like Captain America. I can do this all day. You see that? Let's use the first Avenger, man. There's a lot of Avengers.

But Captain America, he was just this little guy, man. But he had intestinal fortitude and a shield, man. He didn't have that shield right away. He got it from Howard Stark. You know who Howard Stark is, man? That's Tony Stark's dad without Howard Stoke. We're going to find out about Dr. Doom. You see that, man?

Dr. Doom, he looks like Tony Stark. They're not saying why. We're going to find out. Yeah, he likes it. He loves it. He gets it. He gets it because he gets it. Because, you know, I even asked him one time, and he kind of, he said no, but he's like, no, I love you, man.

I love. But I was like, am I like keep your friends close, keep your enemies closer? Is that what it is? Because what you're doing is not, it's a tip of the hat. It's not like. I don't do impressions out of hatred. When you do impressions out of hatred, that was an improv person told me that. You can do a character, and I just said it was the same with an impression.

You can do it out of love for somebody, but attach an emotion. And find something you like about the person. And that's what I always tried to do. It might be something I, it might not be something I like personally, but I'm amazed by the fact that they can do it. Right. That's what I mean. It's like, how do you, oh, come on.

Like, you were talking about tells with comedians. like a like a rhythm that that's very familiar from from the beginning and maybe it started with like Jack Parr but I saw it through Johnny Carson Leno

Letterman Bill Marr the step forward like there's the step forward like in the punch lines here right punch lines right they're telling you so you know it's giving you the information of when to laugh

and so you don't need a swear word you don't need a curse word right you just give it like if you if you say F and this You know, effing, you know, I mean, I can swear on this, but... Don't, don't. No, you can. I know I could. But I almost don't want to. Don't do it. I shan't.

Yeah. But it's, but it is, it does give them the, it gives them the, hey, it's right here. Yeah, it tells you it's the, it's the tell. But the audience doesn't really, it's subliminal. Right. But it lets you know. Right. But who, I want to know who got pissed at you. Who really got pissed? Jim Rome.

phenomenal incredible right now i am not looking at caliando in the eyes i've walked past a bunch of times and it's like and not seeing you like madden did not like me at the beginning i i finally made his grandkids laugh i did it my act i've told the store a bunch of times but it's i made his grandkids laughed in dallas at the four seasons hotel and it was like i get it now like it just was a moment for him because if you're not in the if you're not in the club you know nifference guys, football guys, it's like anything. They can make fun of each other. But this guy, I come in and it's like, you're an outsider.

What's this guy? Five, six, you know, thinks he's, you know, being me? I see him and then, you know, people hear them and they think that he's me, but he's not me, and then that confuses the people that don't see either of us.

Yeah, but you don't do the Madden because you kind of got... Yeah, I didn't do much of it, but now with that movie, that Nicholas Cage movie. I'm like, well, that's going to open up doing it all the time. Everybody's going to talk to me about it. Why weren't you cast over Nicholas Cage?

And why weren't you? Which is the stupidest. Why weren't you? Well, you know, there's a whole evolution of it. It was first, I think, Will Ferrell. Will Ferrell was the, and I could see the look from Will Farrell. He's got the, like, one thing that I've noticed in that movie and just the promo

for the, you know, the teaser trailer for Madden, that, the way they did, Cage, like, mannerisms in the body are phenomenal. Yeah. Like it, that was almost Chicago. Phenomenal. Phenomenal.

Phenomenal. Phenomenal. Oh, she's phenomenal. It's phenomenal. It's double phenomenal. But, so, you know, first of all, they were looking for an A-list type of star. Hugh Jackman, I think, was going to be it at one time. Like, there were rumors of these different, and people along the way would always ask me,

why not you over Hugh Jackman? Come on. I don't know. I mean, it's, it's not. No, any given day. And you give a day. Anybody I could be. Yeah, I was almost Wolverine. You were. I was, I was, uh, yeah, I was, uh, yeah, I was, uh, the suit didn't fit. Is that what it was? No, uh, I was a little too gruff. Yeah, a little too tough. They were like, hey, I got a squint. Although Wolverine in the comics is like a tiny little guy.

Is he really? Yeah, yeah. Well, Wolverine is a very small animal. Yeah. The irony being a big man cast for a tiny little animal. Yeah, that is true. Yeah. So the Wolverine is like, like in the, in Deadpool, when they had the little Wolverine, That was, like, the joke for inside comic people. Yeah. That, like, oh, that's the real Wolverine. See, you should have been. He's 5-3 in the comics. Five-three.

Yeah. Bobby Hyatt. Yeah, that's Kevin Hart. Talk about Wolverine, man. On draft kings. I just find a word or thing they do. Like, I use a lot of impressions as, like, in and out. That's what we talk about.

Yeah. Snap, snap, clap. Here we go. What do you think, Shaq? I think it's pretty good. But I do like to use impressions almost like a radio producer pressing a button and sound effects. Yeah. I mean, there's some where I like to go way off and do it for a long time.

But with that Nicholas Cage thing with him, but the thing is, that's going to have a lot of young people thinking that that's what Madden sounds like. Because he's still Nicholas Cage. Right. Yeah. Here. Right. Yes. Right.

Hey, folks. John Madden here. Boom! So it's going to be like, well, people talking to me about, you know, you don't sound anything like John Mann. I'm like, I'm pretty good at the results. It sounds identical. That sounds exactly what I heard as a kid. That's what Madden sounded like to me.

Yeah. I mean, that thing right there. Yeah, that. Yeah, that there. There. There. There. Yeah.

Yeah. It's like almost like you have a ping pong ball stuck in your mouth and you've got to talk around it. Like the ball is just there and your tongue's going around underneath it. You're trying to... It's almost like you're trying to balance the ping pong ball inside your mouth with an airflow, but at the same time, you're still trying to communicate. But I get why you don't...

It's funny because a lot of these people, as time goes on, their voice changes, their intonation changes, right? Yeah, oh, yeah. With TV and time... And older people get, their voice gets raspier most of the time. Oh, yeah. And a lot of times deeper. So...

But you did the... That sounded like the original. Like as a kid, too, like the way that Will Ferrell did Harry Carey as a Chicago guy, I started to only hear Will Ferrell instead of, because I remember Harry didn't always sound that way, but it was always so big. But did you ever hear John Caponera? He was the Caponara. Oh, yeah.

Caponara is the... That's the Caponara. Hey, that's the kid in the sombrero. What's he doing over there? That's my opener. So that's that But that's the fun thing is you take the impression

and then make it into a character Right Like my madden became the I mean I just swallowed my face Yeah That's that's what it's like Like with Gruden

I can just He's doing that man And now with him at barstool It's like he's doing it so much He's buying into it Yeah Oh yeah Because it's going crazy

And he's the only guy I've ever seen Like he can be wearing a pizza hut shirt With a Domino's hat man I'll tell you what We're selling the shit out of this thing, man. I do, but it is funny because you, it's like you pick an era of an impression

and you have to stick to it. Or you keep changing. Or you talk about how it changes. Right. You can do, there is some of that. I mean, I'm trying to think of a, you know, people have done, I used to do something like it, but I've seen plenty of people do it since the eras of Pacino.

When he was younger, just talk kind of like that. Yeah. Just very, very, very at the front of the throat, at front of the front of the mouth and then it came down and then by the time he was instead of a woman he was Southern somehow US Army retired

I got something in my teeth the whole movie him playing blind is really what it is almost the time it is it's like when he went when he goes blind that's when it became like a I'm blind and my sense of taste

has become greater than I ever thought possible. I would to give you one. You tell me who you think this is. Because this is as a kid. Tracy Morgan. Got it. I would do impressions of announcers. So I have an announcer, but it's a nobody,

but it's like 10 different announcers. So I would say, Dodgers are up to the plate. What's going to happen there is, he's going to swing away no matter what. the call is. It would be like I would take a little bit of... There's a little Steve Stone. Yes, a little bit of stone. And then I would try to do...

Scully? Scully, but Scully was never that high. A long fly ball deep into Shenterfield. Center field. Center field. Center field. But I would steal from all these announcers. And now for a little political moment. Yeah, yeah. He would throw those...

He would be so much... People would come after him so much the way he used to... threw in stuff. He'd throw in... My friend John Holmberg who I told you about the radio guy, he and I are working on coming back with a podcast, we did it for a while. But he has that great sculli, and he does the thing where he's like,

he just goes on diatribes in between balls and strikes. Oh, it's one of my favorite things. And it's fantastic. Father lost his legs at war, and that's two strikes at the play. And I'm laughing at this. Yeah, it would just be like a peeling off of... But that's because as a kid, baseball was like my first love.

Mine too. And so I would hear all these different announcers. And they all kind of, they had the same thing, which was, the baseball announcer is not evolved. No, it's the exact same thing. Oh, long fly ball deeper to Sheterfield. Like, what's his, what's his name from the Simpsons who does? Hank Azaria?

Hank Azaria. Yeah. He hit on that somewhat with, uh, Are we playing password? Yeah, we are, we are. Round. I don't know. I can't. I have a problem with name.

Oh, I'm so bad. I'm 52. But this might, like, maybe it is for you too. But that's my whole game. It's like, I'll forget the name of an oppression I do in the middle of my act. I'm like, oh, and I start to sweat. I'm like, ugh. Was it Azaria or was it Harry Shearer?

No, it was Hank Azaria. Hank Azaria did. Because Shearer did Vin Scully on that now as well. He did. No, no, that's, but I wasn't thinking Vince Gle. he has, he had the show. Brock Meyer, Brock Meyer. Brock Meyer. I got it.

And Brock Meyer, I think, talked like that most of the time. Yeah, it was like a tip. It was like a little shout to a few different guys that had that same wild inflection. But there is that, I don't know why baseball has involved, maybe because they have to fill so much time. So much time. But football announcers, like, I don't think they could do what they did back in the day with Madden and Somerl. When Someraw would do that, to the 20. to the 25.

There's a flag. Maybe Al Michaels a little bit. He'd be the only one that could get away with it. And he gets blasted all the time. Why? Because he doesn't have a ton of energy. I don't need that. He was doing this thing,

and Holmberg texted me this too the other day, so I know it's true. And I'd heard it. I only heard it once, but he'd heard it four times. Al Michael started saying, the entire arena rising is one. And it was like, that's a Bill Walton. The entire arena rising is one.

And Michael's doing it. I'm like waiting for a throw it down, big man. Unbelievable. Do you believe in miracles? Yes. So it was like what? Why is he channeling Bill Walton this night? Because they pull, I think everybody pulls from something else they've heard and it's hard

to get away from it. There is that, but that's such a different, the entire arena rising is one. That's such a Bill Walton. Very much. That's like the conference, football conference of champions. The NFC, unbelievable. By the way, a true statement there, by the way. NFC is the best.

Wait, are you Bears guy? Bears guy? Chicago Bears. It did a little damage there over there against Green Bay. Slackers. Someone wasn't doing their job kicking a bunch of bad, bad kicks over there. Did you see what happened between the middle of the floor? That was fantastic.

Fantastic. You know that? Love that. Two seconds in and out. In and out. Not even two seconds. I'd like to put a stop watch on that. I tell you what I'd like to do.

I'd like go over to a floor myself. I have a little couple words with them, you know? Because I, look, I played high school football too. What exactly is LaFleur? What is it? The flower? Yeah, that's a flower boy. Flower girl, as far as I'm concerned.

And it's not me being mean about women or nothing, but. And why would you? I don't know. We get the ladies. We do get a lot of ladies, you and I. Well, you know, Oh, you're single again, though. Yeah, yeah.

It's falling that way. Yeah, it's going to keep going. It's going to keep going down. Well, just the winter weight's going to come off. I mean, that's the problem. It's like summer comes. The winter weight will come off. We go to the lake.

You know, it'll be nice. I'll get my body back. I'll get my body back. Did you say body back or body bag? I'll get my body bag. Beck. Don't worry about it. Okay.

Don't worry about it. I understand. I said on the. the show for a second. Cut that. You're going to cut that, right? My favorite thing about Chicago is, like, when I go home, my biological father will meet, he is, like, so Chicago, it's, like, painful.

He does this that many Chicago people do. They talk to you as if you're aware of all the people they're talking about. So he does these, like, kind of tree conversations. And I learned it from listening to him about how he'll go, you know, when grandpa worked at Arlington. He worked at the dog track and the horse track. When grandpa worked at Arlington, remember Sheila who worked in a window with him on six? No, of course I know. Sheila's son moved to Los Angeles. I'm going to get you guys together. I don't know him, Dad. I can't. No, but you should meet him. He wants to be in Hollywood, too. What, it's all for you now? Hollywood. Yeah, but it's almost,

they speak and, and that's a very Midwesterny thing to be like, take him in. She'll give, take him to dinner. We'll make connections. His mother went to school with your aunt. Your aunt Lisa sent him. That's why I sent you to ASU to make connections. We paid for all that. You went there for four years. Never forget, okay?

No. That was a lot of money. You think that money grows on the trees? We don't got money trees, Bill. No. And the roots and the way it all forms underneath. I mean, it's just, it's not, people think about, you know, the branches of money, but it's underneath. It's underneath.

It's down. Going into the soil. Down there. It's down there. Grabbing onto the minerals. It's a lot of work. In here, we pour whiskey. Hey, this podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. Squarespace is incredible. It's the all-in-one website platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online.

I've talked about them so much, man. Whether you're just starting out or scaling your business, Squarespace is going to give you everything you need to claim your domain, showcase your offerings with a professional website, grow your brand, and get paid all in one place. They're incredible. You probably heard me talk about Squarespace. If you haven't, you're new to the show. Because the SEO tools on there

help you get discovered fast with integrated Squarespace SEO tools. Every website is optimized to be indexed with meta descriptions. This way you're going to show up all the time, much more often for people that are looking for stuff that you are offering, whatever that may be. Whether you're someone who's creating video content on there, Squarespace makes it easy to embed that stuff on your site, or whether you're someone that just wants cutting-edge design

that showcases whatever you're creating, whatever you're making. Whether it's work or you're someone that's selling your content, your products or your brain, you can do it through the help of Squarespace. So go over to Squarespace.com slash whiskey to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using that code. Whiskey, you got it.

Squarespace.com slash whiskey, save 10% off the first purchase of a website or domain and use that code. You know it. You love it. That's whiskey. Ginger. I like gingers.

Yes, I am a proud, proud of the Bears. Hopefully this will be out after what happens. My son texted me When that game was on, I go It's done. I go, second half is going to be bad. The Packers seem to fall apart A lot in the second half. I grew up in Wisconsin. Yeah, outside of Milwaukee.

And I was like, I just think Caleb Williams, he doesn't make a lot of the easy throws, but then he makes these crazy Great plays, like fantastic moments. And as soon as I saw a couple of them, I go, and when Green Bay, would they miss the extra point? Yeah, and I was like,

that's over. You can't do that because Caleb Williams just has something going, especially this year. He did. And Loveland, shout out to Loveland, one of the best rookies I think I've ever seen. I mean, that kid can catch anything in the sky. It's just, it's, yeah, the game was great. It was amazing to watch it. The roller coaster we had at my house, I was like, so upset, so happy, so upset, losing my mind. Yeah, I just felt like, I don't know. In the first half, my son said to me, he goes, it's over. I go, it's not over. I've just seen this before because the Packers didn't have the pass rush. And especially when Caleb Williams would get out in that open field

and he would just do some crazy. And I was going, there's too much of the crazy stuff. Too much crazy stuff going on. Did you raise your kit? Packers has been passed down or no? No, we kind of just, I don't know. I was working with the NFL stuff a lot during the time, so it wasn't really picking a team.

Sure. Because I would meet players and no players. and then I have my son meet people. And that's always my goal. It's like when we came to see you, like my son, and this is not, this is going to sound like a backhand of compliment.

It's 100% not that. He goes, he would always call you that Andrew guy. That Andrew guy, that Andrew guy, he went to ASU. He's like, that Andrew guy.

But he knew who you were, which is what is important with him. Yeah. He's a smart kid. He's a very smart kid. I could tell. But he doesn't, like, he goes, who's that Jimmy guy at night?

Like, like, Fallon or Kimmel? He goes, I don't know. But he doesn't care about it. He can tell you the 12th man on the bench of the New Orleans Palicans. But he has, like, in Hollywood, it's like he's, maybe he's just decided to do that to me. It's because it's you. It's my business. Yeah.

But it's like he'll talk about that guy. Although he does know Shane Gillis. Yeah. Because he likes Shane is the one. So much more than me. No. I text, like, Gilles followed me on Instagram, and I said something, I go, my son went to go see you, and he likes you more than me.

And he just, like, I'd never met Shane. I mean, I found it very funny, but it was like, the people my son likes, I'm like, he's got good taste in comedy. You like Shane Gillis and that Andrew guy. And that Andrew guy. Well, you raised, I mean, he came under you watching you go to your career. Getting raised under that, it's got to be a little wild. It's hard to.

My kids didn't pay attention that much as much as, yeah, they just like the free stuff that it gets you. I think that's what, you know, my daughter and with the, you know, agents and stuff like that, I'll get tickets. Even if I had to pay for them, I get really good tickets to things like Harry Styles and like really good stuff. That's why I stay just enough above the fray and in the, you know, public ether, I guess, in the ether. so I can still ask for things that my kids are like. My son meets like lots of pro athletes and stuff like that because they all know me from coming up. NFL on Fox.

Yeah, NFL and Fox. And coaches don't meet even more than... Like, it's weird because when you think about, you know, some of the players, some of the players are like 21, 22. Yeah, they're kids. It's unbelievable. When you meet somebody and you go, my God, you're really young. Yeah, they're children.

I mean, they're men out there on the field, but men, you meet them. You're like, oh, you're a young guy. Yeah. Well, and as we get older, they get younger, so it is funny to watch. I'm 52. I'm 42, but I feel like any of the pro athletes I know, I meet him and I forget sometimes. I'm like, oh, God, yeah, you're 20.

You're at the end of, like, the fall. You're done. I'm in. You could play for the Rams or the Steelers. You think I could sign up? I think they still take me? You've got the height. Pretty good wingspan.

We'll do measurements on the way out. We'll check your... Yeah, check my stats. It seems like you have the intangibles. Yeah. My 40's pretty good too. Really? Yeah.

I got to run like an 8 second 40, 8.5 second 40? I'm getting down there. Have you tried to... Have you tried to run a 40 in the last? Oh, my God. My son was playing flag football. I tried to run a 40. This is maybe...

This is probably eight years ago, something like that. I was fairly fast as a kid. I ran... I ran just under five. I was a running back. It's good. I tore my leg. I was probably a 4-9.

You tore ACL? Yeah. Oh, wow. And, but I was, compared to fast people, I wasn't fast, but I, you know, growing up in Waukesha, Wisconsin, I thought I was fast. Sure. Until you see what fast really is. Yeah. But, where was I going with that?

Running a 40. Oh, running a 40. Then I tried to run the 40 when my son was playing flag football, and all the slow kids on the team beat me. Like the 12-year-old, like the 11-year-old fat kid. He's chunk from the Goonies. And, you know, I'm going, I'm doing the trouble. I'm like, and I get the time. I did it one of my own ran and the guy's like 6.5. I'm like, 6.5.

Yeah. That's two, you know, almost, that's, I'm second and a half slower at least. I'm like, that's, let's do this again. Yeah. Let's short a, give me a 20. Can I do 20? I can't. And 40 yards when you're young doesn't seem like much.

No, it's a fair. When you're 40-something years old, it's like 60 feet, six inches to the plate. When you're a kid pitching, you're like, okay, you get back out there and you realize how far it actually is. Try and shoot an NBA three-pointer. It's nuts. You're like, I can't see, can I get my readers? Like, what is going on here? Like all that stuff that you just as a kid, I could just pick up a bat and head.

I could do whatever. I try to swing a bat now, and it just, I don't, there's, the whip isn't there. No, you throw your back out. Yeah, and 50, you know, last time I tried was like, 45 or something, I picked up and they're like, man, you can rake. I was like, but I was barely getting it out of the infield. Like, I'm hitting the sweet spot on the bat. I'm like, I'm going, floopers. And it's just, yeah, it's just doing this.

I'm like, I got a hold of that one. It could be. That's to the second baseball. Boarding for flight 246 to Toronto is delayed 50 minutes. Ugh, what? Sounds like Ojo time. Play Ojo? Great idea. Feel the fun with all the latest slots in live casino games

and with no wagering requirements. What you win is yours to keep groovy. Hey, I won! Sporting will begin when passenger fisher is done celebrating. 19 plus Ontario only. Please play responsibly. Concerned by your gambling or that if someone close, you call 18665330 or visit Comex Ontario.ca. Bet mode activated.

The score bet app here with Trusted stats in real-time sports news. Yeah, hey, who should I take in the Boston game? Well, statistically speaking. Nah, no more statistically speaking. I want hot takes. I want knee-jerk reactions. That's not really what I do.

Is that because you don't have any knees? Or? The score bet. Trusted sports content, seamless sports betting. Download today. 19 plus, Ontario only. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or the gambling of someone close to you, please go to conicsonterio.ca.

With MX Platinum, almost every person. is made with your card can be covered with points, including new tastes, new fits, and virtually everything in between. That's the powerful backing of Amex. Conditions apply. See, that's Will, right? That was close. That was kind of in between. I was trying to, holy cow, if a guy, that's more actual hearing. Right. If there's a guy on first base and the guy on second base, who's on first? It's been so long since I did it. Like, And then that the Will was the, hey. Will was so much more like, hey.

Yeah. My grace, one of the greatest calves. He would do, it's almost like painful when he would do. Just go blue. If I was a pie and I was on a conveyor belt, would you eat me? Yeah, that's right. If the moon were made of cheese, would you eat this? But that, I always heard that as a kid.

And so I remember hearing Harry and being like, that is the funniest version of Harry. Yes, I think, but that's what Will Ferrell does. I mean, Will Ferrell didn't do the best George W. Bush. Not even close. He did the funniest. Funniest one. Yeah. And his was that college, his was the college frat boy.

Yes. Bush. Yeah, bad boy, but like party and drinking. Mine was like a bush as a little kid. So it's like, it was like he was amazed by everything. That sounds pretty good, man. Just, you know, subtle, which I guess in subtile, the bee is more subtle than I am saying it right now. God, that's so good.

Yeah, that was when, I mean, that was like, that was back in the hay. I used to work on these so hard. When you're working out stuff, when you're really working it out, are you doing it to a small room? Or you're just doing it on your own? You got to do it a bunch. And then I do it on the radio and back. bounce it off of people. Right.

It's like when you bounce it off people, you can bail it out and people will give you feedback because you can't always hear what you're getting wrong. Is there another impressionist that you kind of look to for the help for stuff? If you were like, hey. Well, that John Holmberg and I, Homeberg was the one.

Yeah, he's like, we go. Because we think very, he's like an evil version of me. And it's, he has no whole barred. And, but we've developed quite a few together. And,

you know, it's just, but there are other people. trying to think along the way there have been some other people but I always take the notes from like I'll work with somebody or I'll meet somebody that work with somebody who worked with Bill Walton

that'd be like Bill says this and does this and do this and then and then I'll listen for that even closer because those phrases are cues into like yeah they let's what what people always say everybody has like you said those beats that they it's and for for me

even getting into an impression there are the little starters. There's the, with the gold, oh, yes, yes, I. Another of all, but there are those, wait a second, wait a second. Yeah, yeah.

But you find what they are. What's the starter for Madden? You know, you know, there's, and he used to do this thing, yeah, and he would do, he would yes and whoever he was working with. And that's, when that's really what it is. So that's what...

I want to give me the starter from Morgan Freeman. Ah, yes. Or truth of the matter is, sometimes a man decides to talk the way he does, and sometimes it just happens. It's unreal. And by the way, Morgan Freeman sounded the same for 30 years, 40 years.

He has age, though. You can hear... No, he actually, if you listen, you just hear a lot of older Morgan Freeman stuff. If you hear him now, you can tell. Do you know who Josh Robert Thompson is? I don't think so. Because he loops for him some, and he's got probably the best.

Oh, the guy who does him. Yes, yes. I do know who that is. He was even telling me one time about how Morgan Freeman sounds so much older, but we don't hear it all the time. Sometimes you hear a little bit of it. You know, it's a little bit up here, and there's not as much power behind it. But it's, we all think about that.

If I climb through 500 yards of the fifth of the slop, I can't even imagine. We think Shawshank is good. I'm trying to think of some of the other starters for people. Well, Gruden is, I'll tell you what, man. You can go anything. I tell you what, man, that sounds pretty good, doesn't it? I'm nodding. I'm nod at my, there's it.

You see that microphone, man? Tell you what? Tell you what? I was just going to ask, what's the starter for Robin Williams? Oh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, no. Who knew, huh?

Kind of an amazing thing. A lot of people did the over the top, Robin Williams. What I went for was the one where you grow a beard and win the Academy Award. Just get quieter. It's an amazing thing, isn't it? Did you know Robin? No. And he was, his son came out to see me in San Francisco.

And he was going to bring Robin out to meet me. He's like, he's like that. I don't know if I've ever seen anybody do my dad better than you. I was like, thanks. That's the coolest thing. He was, I'm bringing him out. And he was going to bring him the next day. And then they didn't come.

And I was like, heartbroken. Then two or three days later, I see Robin Williams in rehab. Oh, man. Yeah, so I was like, I was still mad. Yeah, you should be. You should have. I could have been on you. I could have been your patch Adams.

I saw a different Robin when I saw him return to the comedy store. When he came back to the comedy store after years and years of not coming back, it was a different Robin. It was quiet. It was very, like, pensive. and it was interesting because as a kid, all I would see was how explosive he was. And then when he came back, it was just at a different time in his life. And it was so different to watch him. It wasn't the same comedy.

It wasn't even the same rhythm of comedy or the same kind of like style. It was like a different guy. It was kind of not a bad thing, but it just, you're like, oh yeah, we all, the comics, especially, we all keep changing. But you saw him change dramatically. That and less cocaine. Yeah, much. Must cocaine. Less cocaine.

That's kind of a stepping back. He did. This, the biting of the lip thing is what he does a lot too. You've got to just think about it for a second. It's a wonderful thing, you know. I'll just be over here. Who could you never get? Lots of them.

Who's the one that you always tried that? You were like, God, I wish I could get it, but it doesn't work. Who is my? I don't. I mean, there's just so many that I can't do. Chris Berman took me forever because it just turned into Al Pacino. When they're close to somebody, that always makes it tough. I'm trying to think of somebody.

Jack Black, I hit every once in a while, and I can't figure out how to keep it there. To get it back? Yeah, it's like I'll get it. Dude, ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen. See, it's in there. Yeah. It's in there. And you've got to get the R's. Dude.

Legend. of the Kung Fu Panda. Ladies and gentlemen. That is it. It's there, and then it goes in and out. But I don't work. I have to just do, I have to, it's repetition.

Yeah. I have to do it over and over and over. And if I can't think of a really good bit, I'm just like, well, I don't work on it. I'm just like, I'll just do social media things and just do two words. That's kind of what I'm.

Well, if you're doing it for the stage, like if you're doing it for the show, you'll write the bit with the person of mine or you'll write the bit and then try to I try to make an observation about the person and then act it out and then take it

to wherever that takes me so for example Pacino they teach you in acting to be curious like you don't really you know the script but you're not supposed to know what's coming but he takes that to the next level he's like

okay so what happens here? Well, you turn on a light switch. Wait a second. You mean I flip a switch over here and a light goes on over there? Oh. That's sorcery. Or he yells in movies for no reason.

So that's a, I cast him as a librarian. That was the bit I originally did. So it's like, what is their persona and how can I take it out and make it something else? So for example, in my act, or even, you know, When I'm doing publicity or whatever, Morgan Freeman can narrate anything. A joke doesn't work, and that's when Frank realized he needed a better punchline.

See, what he should have done was gone from this to that way. Yes, that would have made it a lot better, wouldn't it? Ooh, I was sitting over here still somber. I'm trying to laugh, and it's not happening. So it's those, you know, that's kind of my cheat code is just go between voices. So the rest of my show, or Trump will try to, I'll explain it it, make it better, I'm going to make it better, I'm going to make it. So much better. What do you think, Joe?

Folks, I don't even know we're doing this. Come on. Where are we? My joke with Biden is he's the only guy I've ever seen listen with his eyes. Mr. President. Folks. Hey, I hear you. Come on. What are you doing? The guy with the thing, I don't have to tell you. You did have to tell us. You're the president. I would have told you it wasn't your turn. Well, guess what? It is again.

I'm back. And that's how I kind of like, I kind of, like I like to stay in the middle in terms of politics and just, I like to make fun of everybody. The tough thing is audiences are so narrow nowadays, except for the super, superstars and politics. That's why I do the politicians, like the presidents. Like I do those because everybody knows them. Right. But if I was to try and do Saul Goodman, I can kind of, did you know that you have rights? The Constitution says you do.

Hi, I'm so good. Like, there's, I can get that. You would know who it is, but that's all I can say. But at the same time, like you do that in a show, and like 90% of the audience doesn't know what it is, even though it's like my favorite show. Yeah. So it's one of those weird things.

And that's why sports works so well because most people that know A-Sport know most sports. Yeah. And if you do it, Charles Barkley, that guy's a knucklehead. He's really, really bad, and everything he does. It's really ridiculous. what I said to it. I said, Caledino has no idea. There's a story that I kept quiet for the longest time because Charles Barkley had told me. He goes, you know, John Madden wanted to sue you. And I go,

I know. He's like, I talked them out of it. I was like, how did that go? He's like, well, he called me, he called me and said, this Calliando, he's a problem. We got to, we got to get them. Because I'd done these Dish Network commercials years ago, and I did impressions of them on the commercials and Madden he probably was in the right like he's like even though you could tell it wasn't him but it was like hey they're using our likenesses to try

and sell this stuff and to me it was kind of it was definitely parody so you could tell but at the same time you're trying to sell something so it's in a gray area right but Madden didn't like it at all he just didn't like me and he didn't know me the only guy who didn't care really was

Dr. Phil at the time and he doesn't care Adam does him He doesn't, live. He couldn't care less. Yeah. Although one time, Dr. Phil was doing a promo.

I don't think I was dressed as Dr. Phil for that. Maybe I was dressed as Dr. Phil. But, no, I wasn't. On that one. The first time I met Dr. Phil, he comes and he's like, he's like, so you're, so you're doing me here? And he just grabs me like a Vulcan nerve pitch. He's like, I think it's pretty good.

But he did a sketch with me at the Super Bowl 15 years ago where I'm doing, I'm like, did you know? and not just going off, and then he come, Dr. Phil comes walking in behind me. I'm like, and that's what, oh boy, one of those guys. Wait, so did Charles really stop Madden from suing? Yeah, so he told, he never told anybody in the story. But then with the Kelsey brothers on a podcast, Barclay told the world about that. And I was like, okay, now I can tell him talking about that story.

Because I'd never asked Charles, I was too scared to ask Charles, like, can I talk about this? But he never talked about it. And then he did talk about it, and I was like, okay, I'm going to start talking about it now. But Madden, he did want to sue. Then there was countersuits and said, I had myself indemnified from the beginning because I was like, I don't know if you can do this, but I will take the money. Yeah, but that's on direct TV, not on you. Yeah, but it was DISH Network, but it was back in the time. I mentioned their only competitor.

Yeah. That's so funny. And then it was funny because then recently there was that Barry Katz thing going around where Barry's telling the story. Listen. So, Frank Calliando. He gets the. this deal, this commercial. And I said, how much would you do it

for me? He's like, a dollar. You would do this for a dollar? I'm going to get you more money. So I went to the people. And Dish Network, I don't know if it's around anymore. So maybe look it up. I don't know if it's around anymore. And he was telling, I think he was telling

who was he telling it? There's another, it was a comedian, wasn't it? It wasn't Swartson. But who are, he's like, and so so I said, there's more than a dollar here. So I go and I come back and I tell Frank, it's $50. I got you $50. And Frank's like, I'll take it, man.

And I'm like, I just think there's more money. And I just, I don't know what it was. But there was something inside of me that told me there was a lot more money. And then so I come back and it comes back and it's $200 million. Like the gist of the story was 100% correct. The numbers were not right. But it was so funny, the way he told the story, for people don't know it was a legendary comedy manager.

But the way he told the story, he's like, so let me tell you this story. I was working with Frank Caliando at the time. You know, he does the voice as he's very good. And I don't know if this company's around anymore, but Pizza Hut. Have you heard of Pizza? So Frank said, I want to do a Pizza Hut commercial,

and I said, I'd love to get to that, man. to be incredible. I go, I'm going to talk to him. So I talked to him, and they offered him one pizza. Frank says, I'll take it. I said, I think there's more pizza there, man. So now I go back and forth, and I come back, and I get him, I get him 50 pizzas and a bunch of money. And Frank says, I'll take it.

I said, I don't think so. I said, I think I can get you more. And now I come back the last time, I'm like, you're not going to believe this, Frank. He's like, what did you get me? I go, you fucking own Pizza Hut. You're the biggest Pizza Hut franchise owner in the history of the world. There are people that don't know. You have to see the original Barry Gads.

Who's it with? Did you look it up? I'm trying to find it. God, it's so funny. But the gist of the story was kind of correct, but he goes, Frank had never even made $25,000. I canceled, I canceled another gig. that was over 50 at the time.

But people... I don't like to talk about the... Like, I've never been one that talks about the money. Sure. But I was like, he's making it sound like... He wasn't doing it a purpose. He's making it to have himself sound good, but he was making me sound pretty dumb.

Yeah, but he was doing it to make him be like, in managers, they can really do it. They can do anything. You can do anything as long as you put your mind to it. Dane Cook. I was working with... Dane for many years. And he's like, I want to do a 5,000-seat

theater. I said, Dane, you're going to sell out Mars. You're going to be interplanetary. You're going to be the first interplanetary comedian. Elon Musk, nobody even

knew yet what he was going to do, like try and colonize Mars. He was ahead of the game. Did he, he repped you for how long? Quite a few years. Are you one of those guys that stuck with someone for your whole career? I was with him for a long time, yeah.

I mean, he was great for me. To a certain point that I was just kind of like, I don't know. Do you still have rep now, or you do? No, I just have an agent. I mean, I just, people try to manage, but I, in a book, my brother works for me and he kind of advances everything and books travel and everything like that. So I'm like, well, I can always get a hold of my brother. Yeah, it's my brother.

Like, if it's Saturday and, you know, a flight goes down, he's not, you know, in Malibu right now. Right, right. Or dealing with 50 other clients. Yeah, but it's not like my brother, my brother's not my manager. I wouldn't have him make entertainment decisions, but... Administrative. Yeah, and that's a big part of why you're paying a manager for them to do all that. Yeah.

Do you have management? I haven't had a manager in, gosh, it's got to be eight years. now or something like that. It's like if you're not good at the business side of things or if you don't understand how to get yourself or you don't have somebody you can trust, they're great or fine. They're helpful. And they can tame

the agents with, you know, a lot of times agents will have terrible ideas and the manager be like, this is a bad. Like an agent, I always tell people the agent, the idea behind an agent is like, we're going to get you every piece of work in the world. And the manager's job is like, we're going to shape your career. Correct, yeah. So if you kind of know what you want to do

and I just wanted to do live dates. I was just kind of like, well, I don't know why I need that right now. Sure. I tried to have a couple. I had another really good one, a couple, but I tried, because they would ask me, do you have management? I'm like, no, and then they wanted to work with me, and then they got annoyed with me because my brother did everything.

And if somebody did something, I'd be like, well, I'd get mad if somebody books something poorly and be like, well, let's just have my brother do that, and you just make entertainment decisions. And I actually, with Tim Sarkas, I had that he was great. And his office was great. But I was like, at a certain point, I was like, I'm just doing the road. He goes, I get it. But at the beginning when you, like, you know. I couldn't even get a Comedy Central and Barry got me into rooms with people. Like, you didn't get a half hour out of them or no? I did. Yeah, I had that back in the, back in the day. I was trying to get on Make Me Laugh, and I couldn't even get on that show, make me laugh, and that was in Comedy Central.

What about the Mad TV, SNL world? I went to audition for, I never auditioned for SNL. You never did? No, because I went to L.A. And I had, like, such a crazy L.A. experience where everybody just started offering me tons of money. Because I would do, like, 50 impressions in five minutes. And I would do it all, we call it the five minutes of fury. I don't remember what it was, but it was kind of my act condensed.

Yeah. And it was just going from impression to impressions. to impression, and it just blew away rooms. And I would go in there, and they're like, we're going to offer you a deal. Like people were offering me, the WB offered me a deal in the room. NBC offered me a deal. The president of NBC that week was a guy named Scott Sassa.

That week is great. Yeah. He's like, do you want me to put you on Saturday Night Live? I was like, my answer was it would be an option. So after that meeting, Barry says to me, he goes, I can't believe you've said that. I'm like, what? he goes

the president of NBC asked you if you wanted to be put on Saturday night live and you said it would be an option I go yeah but you told me never show my cards

in a meeting goes yeah but I didn't think you could fucking do it but I was like you know Hamman Darrell Hammond was there already and Jimmy Fallon

had just been cast so I was like well I'd be third fiddle at best you know and I didn't really have any live experience I was just doing stand-up. So I took a deal with Warner Brothers.

That was the chicken deal. You remember chicken, Michael Roof? And they put us together in a show called Hype that was more like Tripe. But we were, you know, the whole night was hype night on the WB. Three weeks into the season. The W.B. Sunday. I'm like, uh, the WB Sunday's back. It's not Hype Night anymore.

It's back to Steve Harrow. I guess. So, so he, I got a bunch of stuff. And then they, I went to Mad, I talked about this with Bobby too,

a lot of time I was on him. I got a deal from Fox behind the scenes and like, can you, do you come do Mad TV? Because I'd auditioned for Mad TV that first time I went out there before I did that show. That was a show that just, you know, kind of went by the wayside. It wasn't very good.

It was trying to do, it was trying to be comedy, as opposed to being comedy. and Mad TV I didn't even audition the second time I was just I was just blown away the room in the first time they're like we'll just we'll just offer you the show and I took the offer and then Fox gave me something to do that and then behind the scenes the NFL on Fox

in a different thing Jimmy Kimmel was still there and they were bringing me in every once in a while I'm like well this is getting me more play than anything at Mad TV right because Matt TV very good incredible cast great writers but they would always dumb it down. And you're like, why are we dumbing everything down? And because the demo was like 14-year-old boys.

I'm like, but I'm 30. Right. Like, I just don't know. That's not what I thought this was. And it wasn't always like that. It was closer to the Ben Stiller show when it started. Yeah. And it just devolved down to, and Fox never had any money for it

because their network programming was always in the dumps. Yeah. So they had cartoons and they couldn't promote mad TV. because they had to promote they were just fighting so hard for their shows to stay above water and Saturday Night Live you're never going to beat it because they can do, they can change the show

that moment. Yeah. They can change the show an hour, 30 seconds before the show. They can change things during the show if they need to. And weekend updates always going to be the most topical thing. So you're never going to beat that.

So, so that was the route. So I never ended up even trying to audition for S&L because I did say to Barry, too, I was like, well, listen, if the president of the NBC tries to put you on it doesn't go through Marcy Klein and Lorne and all the people there, they don't want that. They want to find you too. Right. So I knew that was going to be another challenge. Yeah. And there have been, you know, there have been so many great people that you're like that Elon Gold, Godfrey. Yeah. People that you're like, this person would have destroyed on SNL.

Yeah. And you're like, I can't, but did you ever audition? I tested. Oh, you tested? Yeah, I tested. I audition, flew back here, then I flew back, and I tested, and then it was me and Dan Soder. Do you know Soder? I think I heard this.

Yes, yes. Yeah, and then it was me, Dan Soder, and Pete Davidson. Oh, wow. And you know how that story went? I don't. A lot of ups and downs in that story. Lauren flew me back. Yeah.

Well, Lauren flew me back. Yeah, he flew me. I did it. I talked about it on Dana show with Spade. and Lauren flew me back and that's when my agent was like, you get it. They don't fly you back unless you're gonna.

I flew back, I was in the hotel all day and then supposed to have like lunch with Lauren or like a meet him in the afternoon and then hours go by and I went in there and he was just very blunt and nice about it to be honest. It was kind of weird. My experience was wonderful.

So what he, I flew you out here to tell you you didn't get it. That's exactly right. Yeah. He said, you're not the puzzle piece I'm looking for. And I, and he said, you're going to have a great career. You're going to be just fine.

See, we have, we have, we've got a Santa Claus puzzle. And you're like the dogs playing poker. You know an Advent calendar? It's already been open. You're one of the numbers that have already been opened. But it was partially, the irony of there is I had already done television. I'd done a shitty sitcom and I'd done some other pilots.

And I think he wanted someone that, I mean, Pete was a kid. Pete signed up when he was 20 or something. I don't even remember. Nine, I believe. Yeah. But so I remember me and Soder are the same age. And it was like, well, these guys are kind of, we weren't by any means developed, but we were much further along in the process of TV and film and blah, blah.

So I think that also was a little bit of a turn off to him. By the way, Robert Donnie Jr. And one, two, it's a, you just got to burp out the punchlights. The funny thing is that Robert Donnie Jr., actually Tony Stark, is Dr. Evil. Throw me your freaking bone here, please. If you add a little air, quite frankly, throw me a freaking boat here. It's a dad a trap. That is kind of, I think people don't know that Dr. Evo was Mike's impression of Lauren.

I mean, people have talked about it since then. The lay person doesn't always, like some people, like, you'll see somebody in the comments. You know Dr. Evil is, yeah, all comics. We know, yeah, we know. But it's funny because then you find out as you go on that Mike, I don't know him. I'm speaking like I know him, but you find out that he kind of has infused a lot of characters from his life and all of his stuff

and you go, oh, I know who that is. Personal impressions are just, they become characters. Yeah. Characters are impressions of people nobody knows and you just have the right setup and the right point of view that enough people can identify it. And it kind of feels so commonplace. Well, that's why I never really didn't do celebrities well. But I would do like a character I did if I tested for us.

I did this repressed Southern High School football coach who, you know, was kind of into some of the boys. And I stole the voice from one of my dad's friends. He used to belittle me when I was a, he was a big lumbering man. And he would, you know, he'd go, Andrew, I bet you $100, you can't do 100 pushups right now, right here from the dinner table. And he would make me do stuff like that as a kid because he was a big football guy. And I stole that. But that's not stealing if you take the, well, yeah, it would be if you took it like somebody's present. No, no, I just took the world and put it in this like repress because he would say stuff.

He'd be like, go, go, go and take your shirt off and do it. And I'd be like, why do I have to take my fucking shirt off? And so I would put that in of this repressed Southern High School football coach that was, he's like, yeah, just talking about the boys as they run. Y'all are sweating good. Want to see more sweat. Want to see more sweat. And so I did that as part of my test. And the character did fucking phenomenal. I was like stoked about some of the characters I did that had pop because in my mind I did them at I did them at

a couple of venues in L.A. You know? And they did okay at like the improv and stuff in the store but not until I did it in front of I-O-West and then at UCB I was like oh they're because they wanted it more. Right. They were like oh they're

into the characters. When I did it when I was doing them at the store I was just so not what I always did that people were like what the fuck is he doing? Right. So I kind of hit it. I didn't really tell all my friends I was doing it. Did you ever work Stanford and Sons? I did.

So there's the... Oh, yeah, man. Craig Glazer. Yeah, Craig Glazer. I'll pick you up from the airport. I think of a couple stories, but he had the greatest thing because one time, I'd just gotten mad TV. So this is a guy who was like totally... And he's gone.

He's no longer with us and we rest in peace. Craig was a wild character. He's not in heaven. Well, is this? It's a little warmer here. He's almost beetlese. Hey, hey, come here, I guess. I'm for you.

Hey, come here. That's where, that would be funny. Michael Keaton's like, you know, hey, you ever go to Sanford? You ever been there? You ever been there? That's where I got beetlesias. There's a guy there, Craig Glazier. Here you're here.

Here, you're him? I guess, okay, so. So, Glazer's like, he's like, I'd never been there to Kansas City, and he was a promotional maniac. Correct, yeah. And everything, he was on the radio TV and everything. And so he was.

He's talking about all the stuff. He's like, so, so I go, as long as you don't mention Mad TV, we're good because it's not out there yet that I'm on there. He's like, I haven't mentioned it anywhere. Nobody knows about him. Don't worry about it. We're driving in his, like, Corvette over a hill. There's a giant billboard. Mad TV's Frank Kelland.

He turns to me, he turns and goes, are you pissed? Yeah, dude. He goes. I went, hi, are you pissed? You could have told me that you didn't know or you just had done it. But it was like two days until we see that billboard. And I said, are you pissed? But I would do a thing, like he claimed to have created every comedian in the world.

Of all time. He takes credit. So, Seinfeld came in. He's doing prop comedy. I said, what are you doing? Start making observations, the minutia and the little things in the world. Next thing you know, he's got the Seinfeld shows making millions of dollars. Where am I, Stanford's sons?

Think about it. Carrotop, on the other hand. Carrotop wanted to do intelligent, high-level thinking type of comedy. I said, that's not for you. What you got to do is get a couple of trunks, pull things out of it, keep the hair. You quit, quit cutting your hair.

Next thing you know, he's in Vegas making millions of dollars. Where am I? Stanford, Sons, think about it. But I said to Dave Chappelle, I said, have some cultural comedy. Think about things that are going around. I said the same thing. Bill Burr, go on rants. Bill Burr wanted to stick to his act. I said, don't stick to your act.

The back's incredibly, you do tremendous things. But I said, here's what you. do. You go on the opening Anthony show, you talk to the crowd, you go on a 12 minute rant. Next thing you know, he's making millions of dollars. Where am I? Stanford? So I'm thinking about it. So I created pretty much every single comedian that has ever been through

Dane Cook. He didn't want to have any animation. Sebastian Mascalco didn't repeat things. I said, no, you got to do it loudly. Move your arms around. Move your arms around if they're offering you peanuts. You don't have to have a punchline. Just tell them they're offering you peanuts. Say it three times. And you will get people to

enjoy what you're saying because it'll make you think about it. And you'll make, there is Sebastian Manascalco. I said, and he wanted to go by Sam Manas, Sam Manuscott. I said, no, Sebastian Manuscalco. I said, the longer name, the Italian, the spaghetti people get in their mind. I understand. Next thing you know, he's making millions of dollars. Where am I, Sanford, don't think about it.

So I have these ideas. I give to people, they understand. But, you know, that's just, I'm a giver. I'm a giver. Except me even take from your fucking check. This guy, I'll never forget. He picked me up. No, he had a lotus.

He had a lotus at one time. If you know what this is, it was a very small little two-door car. He had a tiny lotus. Got it down to one door for a while. And he goes, I'll pick you up from the airport. And I was like, oh, you're going to pick me up? I thought, because I'm thinking it was going to be an opener or a runner or something. No, I pick.

I'll pick you up myself. Okay, he picks me up. We're in the front seat. And he's taking me by down to Kansas City. He's like, best restaurant. I don't know if you can't afford something like that, but that's the best restaurant in Kansas City. and then he's driving around

he goes, hey, before we go to the hotel, you cool if I pick up my girl? And I was like, you're a girlfriend? And he's like, yeah, you're cool? I was like, I'm cool, I guess. And he goes, we're going to get Black Barbie. That's what he called her. Black Barbie, we're going to get Black Barbie.

And I'm thinking, what is this play that he's talking? And then he pulls up to this like apartmentoblex and this like 6-2 woman wearing like a tiny little miniskirt, I mean, boobs out, and he goes to go ahead and scoot over. I was like, it's a two-seater car. And he goes,

oh, she'll get in the back. Blackberry doesn't give a shit. And he makes me get out. I pick up the seat of like, you know, all two-sort sports car. And this six-two woman in heels is like smash in the thing.

And I'm like, I'm continuing going, are you sure? Is this okay? And he goes, she doesn't care, man. She'll fold in anything. It doesn't even matter.

You ever see when the magician puts the lady in a box? That's what she does. She worked with Copperfield for years. I said, originally Copperfield was trying to get really fat ladies and put them in boxes. I said, no, grab the thin ones

so they are limber. And you get them around, you can twist them in a pretzel. I put her in the box next thing. You know, Copperfield's got his own island doing whatever he wants. Got makes his own rules. Where am I? Sanford and sons think about it. For people that don't know, God damn, Frank, that's so...

God, it's so funny. You just got to set him up right enough and just find the right thing. It could be outside of comedy. Yeah. And it's the guy working somewhere that claims to have he invented he invented velcro yeah there was and people were tying their shoes they said what are you going to do tying her shoes you're going to end up you bend down you got to tie the shoe you got to memorize the knot a lot of people can't don't have the dexterity to do

that you get older i said how about we take two strips of some type of fabric one that has kind of like tiny little hooks and another one that's kind of a fuzzy type of deal have the hooks attached to the fuzzy and then make a funny sound when it opens up next thing you know the velcro people they're making millions of dollars where my sanford so I think about it God, it's so fucking brilliant. And that club, that club, everyone had to go through that club. Like, everyone did that fucking club.

And I did it because I had heard other other headliners go, well, you could do it. They'll headline you even if it was early, because it was early for me to even have my own weekend. And they were like, he'll do it. They'll do it. They'll do the headline you early. And you'll get fucking no money.

I'll lose money on the trip. And I did. And then I was there for the second iteration when they had like a catwalk. It was like in a, you had a long theater they had bought. You had to go out on a cat walk. He's like, use it. Use a catwalk. Go out there, man. Show on.

Perfect. He wanted to walk out of a catwalk. It was nuts. But you, I mean, you live through, you live through a lot of the changeover clubs, right? Like, the generation above me, you guys kind of get a lot, you saw a lot of those go from one, one company to another one, then be bought, or either all the mom and pops that closed down. Like, you saw that revolution. That was actually, some of that was before me. I saw, I saw as the improvs were starting to come around. Yeah. And so I actually started in, I graduated from college in 1996. I got on the college circuit for the first three or four years and did mostly that. So I got to that about about 2000s where I'm doing clubs. Okay. So it was on the, it was on the, the back end of a lot of those

types of clubs. That switch over, the change over. Yeah. There was some, there was some go, but I didn't know, I don't even know the story. Like there were so, many clubs in Chicago I'd never heard of. I just did Zanies in Chicago. Bert, huh, Zanis in Chicago? So I would... Chicago. Chicago.

Chicago land area? Be careful going through the magnometer. Whoever that was at the O'Hare Airport. O'Hare were the only toilet seats that had like the condom that went around. Yeah, the rotating condom seat. Winginging. Yeah. That's so gross.

It was a weirdest thing. It was like a full-on lifesaver. Yeah, but you knew. I always thought, there's no big role in there. They've got it just rotating the same thing. This one looks stained multiple times. So now you're touring again this. Yeah, I'm starting to do a bunch more because my wife's spending a lot of money.

I put a lot of money away. And then I put like so much that I don't want to touch. And I'm like, well, now I've got to force myself to go do some stuff in green. some new thing because I don't want to pay the penalties on the money I put away. That's right. So it's... Got to go to work. So I'm getting myself out there and doing some more stuff.

And I create on stage. I just, I find stuff hits me in the middle. Like, things have happened here. Yeah. And I'm like, okay, this is a tangent I can go on. And that's where the fun is going to be. So, and I want to tell more stories and do more about me. Because that's a difficult thing for people.

They come out to see the, they come out to see the, act. They don't always come out to hear what I have to say. They can come out to see what I'm going to do. There's a difference. Yeah. Like people come to hear what's what's, what's Andrew kind of annoyed by? What is what what is what's getting what's getting his goat? What's people don't do that as much for me is they're like what's he going to do what's the next thing. It's a magic trick. What's the like, you don't care about the magician in the middle all the time. You're like, okay, we get it. You're conjuring demons to make an ace of spades. Fantastic. But just, Show us the answer.

It's table magic. Just show me how, tell me how, I want to not see where you're, you know, pulling that card from. Right. So. But have you started to? Yeah, it's been on it off.

But I, I just have to get on stage more and more and more to do it. Because if you take too long of a break, you don't, you don't get in the flow. Right. And it's like, I build each night. As I'm on the road, I build little bits here and there,

and then go back and go, okay, so I can add this, take out that, you know. Yeah, but I, I think with you, it's like as time goes on, I think for someone like me, I'd want to see you obviously do what you do the best, but also build out your storytelling and not just the, you know, like you're saying, show the Aces Spades. Like, I think you're at a point in your life and your career when you've done so much that you're like, I can tell the straight narrative. For example, a bit I've been doing is about that Madden movie. So I get a call from my agents and I've told the store a bunch, but it's different because you're here. Yeah.

But it's, they're like, and the reason I keep doing it is because I sweat on my upper lip and it really looks bad. Oh, I was staring at it. I liked it. Yeah. Is that the football coach? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Andrew. You're watching the sweat drip down his lip, boy. Man, that looks good, don't it? Next thing you know, he's on NBC is I'm where am I, Stanford sons? Thank God this time. So I get a call from an agent. And he goes, well, first of him, First of all, they want to be to audition for the Madden movie

for the part of Howard Cocell. And I'm like, I don't really do a Howard Cocelle. And the only thing I can think of is, if I even got this movie, I'm going to be, this is Howard. I'm doing a terrible house. Right, just terrible. I'm like, people are just going to say the whole time,

that's terrible, should have done Madden. Right. But Nicholas Cage is mad. So then I get a call later, after I just didn't even want to do the audition. I'm like, I'm not going to do it because I'm not going to be good. But I was also thinking at the time, they probably want to just talk to me about. Madden. Like there's probably, that always happens to me where somebody wants to meet with me

about something. They want somebody, a much more famous person, they're like, well, we're going to just kind of work on some of the stuff you have. We're going to have them, we're going to tell them what you do. I'm like, I'm not giving away the formula. And my agent calls me, I can't like, Nicholas Cage and the director want to talk to you about this movie on a Zoom. I'm like, no. He's like, what do you mean? No. I'm like, I don't want to do a Zoom with Nicholas Cage. I want to hang out with Nicholas Cage. I want to go to Vegas. I want to ride sidecar to the Ghost Rider. I'll do Leslie Stahlwalk and talk. I want to be in there. I want him

to take me around and he's got his exotic animals, be in his basement, here's my monitor lizard. What would John Madden say to this monitor lizard? We're going to steal the Declaration of Independence. That's the bit, right? But those real things, I'm trying to take those real things

and make them stories in my act and then elaborate on the more in the act and build those out. That's the key to me is the first step of just getting people that because they want to hear anytime i say a person's name people think the impression's coming next sure so it's it's it's like i could say um i'm trying to think of somebody that's uh brad pit they're like oh he's gonna do brad put no i'm not i'm just mentioned

his name right i could do brad pitt you'd think i'd stop doing it i do it all the time right i could do brad bit he's a hard one to do though yeah i think some of it's going to be the look Yeah. And he's not much of a cartoon character. He's a pretty subtle actor. A friend of mine can do a great one too, and I've seen him do it, so that's another reason. Ross Mark Juan, so Ross is like unbelievable with it. He's got it nailed.

Oh, yeah. How about Obama? Let me be clear. That is what this is about. It's one, two, three, four, five, six, seven. I can break down. That's how I like great. One, two.

whatever you got one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, that, that, that. You're gonna read, six, uh, folks, pie. The presidential number count is yeah. Well, a bit I talk about

is like Trump would make up his numbers. He's P.T. Barnum of president. Biden would struggle with the numbers. Yeah. By, you know, and everything goes back to Scranton, Pennsylvania. What's the young man going to Scranton, Pennsylvania? He's like a drunk auctioneer. He's like a, 6008, come on.

600 AD. It's the fall of the Roman Empire, the Romans. The Romans, Salad Guy, Caesar. He's defeated by Mario and Luigi. Folks that were plumbers. Folks that were plumbers. So it's like, but it's like finding those. Where were we going?

Where are the voices? Yeah, so, but you find the cadence. How many Christopher Walkins have you've heard low, you've heard hi. Yeah. You've heard in the middle. It doesn't matter where the note is. It's what's the music that's played? What are the notes actually, not the tone?

So with counting with like Robert Downey Jr., it's just one, two, burp, three, four, five, six, seven. Liam Neeson is 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7. You can even do that better. 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7. That's a better. But there's those cadences, like Michael Keaton. 1, I guess, you're going to go 2?

3, 4, 5. five, six, yeah, yeah, seven. One, one, one, two, one, two, one, two, three. A few of them up, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven. Has it been embedded since you were a kid? I think so. Like when you were a little kid, were you fucking around doing that? No, no, no, I was very quiet.

Until about middle school, then I kind of broke out of my shell and I was a little bit more, you know, There was a guy, the kid Darren Barsh. I always talked about him. Like, he was a good-looking kid, but he had frosted tips, like, before anybody had like that. Like, he had bleached part of his hair. But his nostrils always flared out. And he just kind of, he had a rhythm to him like this. And he always, he had that comb.

He'd feather his hair kind of a thing, the two-hand featherer. But it was like, I would do impressions of him. And Mark Christensen, Coach Christensen. The basketball coach I had him for U.S. history, like Mr. Kellyanneau, can you go up to the map and show us where the United States is? I'd point to the blue, go sit down, Mr. Kellyando. That's water. That's water. Well, I got to say, this has been a clinic. It's like an exercise. I mean, it's like amazing. Well, you can do so. It's funny. No, but you're, it's just different. I used to be better, too. That's the crazy thing. I used to be, I used to work at it so hard, which I need to get myself working hard at the, I've done this. Maybe. Maybe.

You probably never see it. But there's so many voices that are so close to each other. And I take two things. This is the thing I did on social media. There's two voices. You can take Kermit the Frog and Fuzzy Bear. Kermit the Frog is Jim Henson. Hinghammed the Frog here, right?

And then Frank Oz is Foszie Bear. Ah, waka, waka, waka, right in there. And if you take Kermit the Frog and you bring it down, it becomes John C. Riley. Did you touch my drum set? And then if you might bring Bad Samar to it, It becomes Mark Ruffalo. I see this as an absolute win, and you bring it down even more.

It becomes Paul Giamatti, I believe. That is one of the craziest things I've ever seen in my entire life. Now, if you bring it back up, then you tighten it up and go back to Jossie Riley and then bring it back to Seth Rogen, I don't know, which is actually the Burt Laugh. And then you could take those Fossi-ish voice. and you get Joe Rogan. Wow, oh my God, Jamie, that is fucking nuts. Jamie, pull that up.

Oh my God. That's crazy. That is fucking crazy. So everybody is in... There's a lot in that... Everyone's a mix from Fossey to Kermit. Yeah, there's a bunch in that grouping. Right.

I mean, there are others that you can take them too. Like John Madden, you go, hey folks, John, if you take... If I took Nicholas Cage, Cange here, and I brought it back into the... They made it glottal. So you've got to get rid of the air. You can actually hear and it gets in there. That gets right before you get to Fossey.

So it's here and then you tighten up right and now you're talking in here. Jesus Christ. Because Cage is up here. Yeah. Yes. Of course. How did I not see that?

But you bring those which is Keone Reeves is in there. You know, those, they're like those voices that are up in the front. Right. Okay. Have you insured your voice? No. You should.

What would I insure it? Ensure your throat. Ensure your, you can insure it. What if you lose your voice? I'm done. I'm a mime. And it'd be the best mime. A lot of people said, you can't be a mime.

And I said, watch this. I'm running into the wind. I'm a windrunner. I'm a windrunner. I'm a windrunner. Now, like, you know what I am? I'm stuck in a box. I'm in the box.

Now I'm pulling rope. Now I'm pulling up. He's the only mime that would tell you what he's doing. He would like, listen. He'd give it all away. I do a mime who speaks in the best. I don't even need the clown makeup. The only mime that speaks.

I'm the only mime that speaks. And I'm in a box here. I'm in a box. Not alone. There's, of course, a couple of supermodels in here. And a lot of mimes do the box. And a lot of mimes do the box. I'm pulling the rope.

I do them both. I'm pulling the rope and I'm in the back. Well, I'm going to tell you, I want to say something. I hope I can see you because I want to see the full new act. I hope I see you soon. Yeah, well, it's developing. And now that I'm on the road, it's, I've got to get more of the stories. That's funny because I have a lot of things that go back that I have to, like I pull from stuff that older stuff and then I go off on tangents to build it.

tangents to build it. Yeah. And it's like, I got to figure out how to get rid of the stuff that's at the beginning that's kind of old and then get the new things. But, I mean, that's going to be trial and error with you figuring out with the stories that you like and that you don't, you know, that you get over. You know what I mean? The stuff that you're like, it's almost like when you're trying new jokes and you're like,

God, I like that so much, but I just want a piece of it to fill this other joke. Yeah. You know, we beg borrow and steal. And there's, that's so funny because you can, you can take your own joke and just switch the situation slightly. and it's like, well, that's the same joke from 10 years ago. Nobody cares. They don't care.

They just want to see you do it. I think that one thing, I don't know who told me, but there was an older manager. Oh, David Steinberg, who just passed away. Steinberg was Robin Williams' manager, Billy Crystal. And Steinberg said to me, he's like, you guys are so fucking obsessed with throwing away material. And he said, well, I mean, I don't know.

It's kind of like a comics code thing sometimes, where you do an hour and you do it. And he's like, who told you to do that? I said, I don't know. I just think we all kind of do that instinctually. He's like, cut it out. He's like, it's your stuff, you made it. He's like, you can do it as freely and as frequently as you want.

I've done the same thing so many times. I'm doing it up here now. He was right. Look down there, quick glazer. Things are heating up. But that's the thing about hell. They have the greatest, you get great fire, and you can make tremendous.

marshmallows. I said to Beelzebub, you're not doing everything you can with the fire. I said we can make great things. It's not like Frankenstein. It doesn't have to be bad. That's not to be bad. The cavemen, without fire,

they would have been frozen. It would have been just a bunch of swanson meals. I said, no. I don't think they had those around back then. Of course they did. Yeah. He would actually convince you that they did. How could they not have TV dinners?

They weren't the same. They didn't have, they didn't use plastic. Because they didn't have plastic yet. But they used, they used leaves. Oh shit. Frank, I want to thank you. Very graciously for coming out. My son knew the Andrew guy.

The Andrew man, yeah. The Andrew man. The Andrew man. That Andrew man? It was, it's been an honest pleasure. When I met you, I told you that, man. I was like, God, I can't wait to sit with you. For the fans, please go see this young lad on tour.

I imagine it's got to be Frank Caliando.com. It is, but you don't have to... You can spell Calando, the letter C, the word alien, and the word do, Frank C. Alien do. But I also got Frank Onstage.com. Frank C. Alien Do. That's a pretty great way to do it. I thought, I didn't think I came up with it. Somebody told me I did.

I still think it was Harlan Williams. That sounds right. Hey, buddy. Did you know there's an alien in your name? Yeah. Did you know that? Why are you doing that? Because I always do that, buddy.

Hey, buddy. Hey, can I get around? Santines. Hey. Hey, Andrew Santini. Isn't that your, is that your uncle the great Santini? Harlan, one of the funniest. Oh, unbelievable.

But I can do. Harlan is, hey, there, with your Hardin's Greek Santa going around the Whiskey War. He just looks at it. around the room. Yeah, he just finds it. These guys are sese. Take the whiskey ginger there with the frame picture of yourself making a funny face and the guy with the name I can't remember, but it's awkward. Look at these cameras over there and the golf clubs next to the skateboard with the scorpion

on it. There you go, my friend. Go to see Frank Onstage.com. Frank C. Alien do. It means the world to me that you're on the show. I appreciate you. We end the show the same way. You look into that camera right there, and you say one word or one phrase. Used to be a word, and it became a phrase, and then kind of switched around, but you're imparting this wisdom

upon our audience, so whatever you want to leave it with, leave them. Um... That was it. In here, we pour whisk, whisk, whisk, whisk, whisk, whisk. You were that creature in the ginger beard. Sturdy,

and ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Ginger's a beautiful. You want me five dollars for the winter. This is $75 for the horse. Ginger's all hell now. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers.