Whiskey Ginger with Andrew Santino - Gary Vider

Episode Date: August 23, 2024

Gary Vider is a stand-up comedian known for his dry, deadpan humor and clever observations. He gained fame as a finalist on "America's Got Talent" Season 10 and has performed on shows like "Conan." Gary also hosts "The #1 Dad" podcast, where he humorously explores the challenges of fatherhood, sharing relatable stories and insights with his signature wit. #garyvider #whiskeyginger #podcast #andrewsantino =========================================== Sponsor Whiskey Ginger: https://public.liveread.io/media-kit/whiskeyginger SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS SQUARESPACE Get that site up and running now! 10% off your order https://squarespace.com/whiskey HARRYS GET YOUR $13 TRIAL SET FOR ONLY $3 https://harrys.com/whiskey USE PROMO CODE: WHISKEY PESTIE EXTRA 10% OFF YOUR ORDER https://pestie.com/whiskey BILT REWARDS EARN REWARDS WITH BILT https://joinbilt.com/whiskey ======================================= Follow Andrew Santino: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ https://twitter.com/CheetoSantino Follow Whiskey Ginger: https://www.instagram.com/whiskeyging... https://twitter.com/whiskeyginger_ Produced and edited by Joe Faria IG: @itsjoefaria Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What up Whiskey Ginger fans? Welcome back to the show. If it's your first time joining the show, welcome to the show. I am on tour. Come see your boy. Starting off at September 14th. I'm over there in Friant, California. Then I go to Vancouver with Soder and Norman, a bunch of funny dudes come up and see us. I'm in Indianapolis, Charlotte, Pocola, Oklahoma, Waukee, Iowa, Omaha, Kansas City, Cleveland,

Elizabeth, Indiana, St. Louis, Grand Rapids, Detroit, New Orleans, San Antonio, Chicago, Durham, Atlanta, Charleston, Philly, New York, Phoenix, San Francisco, San Diego, Boston, and I'm done in Minneapolis in the new year. Go to andrewsantino.com for those dates, those tickets. We're adding shows, we're adding cities. andrewsantino.com. year but anderson tina dot com for those dates those tickets were adding shows were adding cities anderson tino dot com in here we pull

jimmy jimmy jimmy jimmy You owe me $5 for the whiskey, $75 for the horse. Ginger's a hell now. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger, I like gingers. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Whiskey Ginger. My guest today is one of my favorite people

I don't think I've ever seen before. I guess what I mean once again today, it's Gary Vida! Pumped to be here. A beautiful New York comedic genius. Gary and I met 10 years ago. How long, is it 10? Yeah Gary and I met 10 years ago. How long, is it 10? Yeah, 10, about 10 years ago. 10 good years.

You wanna tell the story of how we met? I think I've told the story on this podcast before. Well, I wanna make sure I remember it exactly how you remember it, because it was 10 years ago, but we were doing- It was at a meeting, White Hoods. We were burning a cross, I think it was? Yeah, I mean, I was like, should I do this? And you're like, yeah, do it, do it. What's better than a Jewish guy burning a cross, I think it was? Yeah. I mean, I was like, should I do this?

And you're like, yeah, do it. Yeah. Do it. What's better than a Jewish guy burning a cross? Yeah. You know what I mean? You gotta fight, take the word back. But yeah, the first time I met you, it was incredible.

We were doing a gig together, it was for Jim Beam. That's right. And it was in Vegas. And I just heard about you through friends, Sam Rouse. We have a lot of mutual friends, Sam. Dan Soder. Yeah, Danny Soder. Everybody spoke very highly of you, but I didn heard about you through friends Sam around we have a lot of mutual friends Sam yeah any soda everybody spoke very highly of you but I didn't know you personally and then we get this gig and it was a real shit gig we were doing it in a basically a conference hall at the Aria hotel and I

never had one of these corporate my agent got me the gig and I was like all right I'll do it it was decent money for me at the time and I was like all right I got to go to Vegas good hotel room And everything but you get there and then immediately the guy goes, you know, you can't say anything bad. He was really strict I remember him saying No sexual innuendos He was like no cussing first of all, he goes no cussing obviously and then he said no sexual jokes

Keep it and I and I made a joke and I said sexual jokes, keep it, and I made a joke, and I said, so like, NC-17 or something, and he was like, let's keep it more closer to PG. But he wasn't kidding. And as soon as they give you all those restrictions, you feel handcuffed and you know that it's gonna be fucking terrible. Because you're in your head going,

even though you have a, I mean, you probably more than me too, but like, I'm not a dirty comic per se, but I just say what I'm saying. But in my mind, then you go, is this a dirty joke? Right, and a lot of the stuff I have, it's good. It's like, it's adult humor,

but it could cross the line if you're with coworkers. Sure, sure. But you don't know, so you start analyzing everything I'm saying, and I don't want to lose the money potentially. And this is before the gig even started. I don't even think we've seen the room yet. No, we didn't even go to, we were in a back, like a holding area.

Yeah. So then, but then you see the room and you get out there and they're eating dinner before the show starts. Joe McHale was hosting the event. Joe hosted it and they're eating dinner at circular tables, you know, banquet hall tables where they can fit like eight people at a table. It's a huge circle. And so half of the people have backs to us. It's not like they're all facing forward. You're just in a conference room. Not ready for comedy whatsoever. No idea who we are. Not that they would, even if they, you know, they were told at this point, you're, I mean, me still, they wouldn't know. You would

know. They definitely wouldn't know me anyway. Even if they did, they wouldn't have cared. They'd be like, the kid from the sitcom thing? No, thank you. But then we go out and I don't remember who went first, but I ate it for sure. It was bad. You're getting silence. You're not getting any momentum. And then, I don't know what your experience was. I don't wanna say that.

It was the worst bomb I've ever had. I was saying the clock was on stage. I remember it was a big red clock. It was 20 minutes. Yeah, and I don't remember if it that. It's the worst bomb I've ever had. I was saying the clock was on stage. I remember it was a big red clock. You gotta do 20 minutes. Yeah, and I don't remember if it was countdown or count up, doesn't matter. Either way, the numbers looked huge. I remember it was like.

You just wanted it to end as soon as you got up on stage. As soon as you think that you're gonna do, like Joel went up and when he came off to introduce us, you could tell that his face, he just looked like he was beaten up. Yeah, he looked like he got into a street fight. But you go on and you're like, I'm gonna get him. And then you tell your first joke and it gets nothing and you're like, I'm fucked. Most people, most people take their own life in Vegas because they've lost their mortgage and their wife leaves them.

But mine was- We were down before gambling. and their wife leaves them. But mine was- We were down before gambling. Yeah, yeah. Mine was after a Jim Beam gig. We didn't know. And it was also, Jim Beam is owned by Suntory Whiskey. And so it was a lot of Japanese men who I imagine,

A, didn't give a fuck about American comedy. Or B, maybe didn't speak English. I think there was a high faction of people from Japan who were like, English wasn't their first language, so this wouldn't have landed, even if they did wanna see comic. Right, that's what I know we were telling ourselves that, but then we get off stage,

Alonzo Bowden went up and just annihilated. Crouched, yeah, crouched. And we're like, oh, maybe they're pretty good at English. To be fair, Alonzo said a universal word to start the show. Alonzo being black used the N word and they loved it. What is that word? What is it? The N word?

Niceties. Oh, okay. And it crushed the niceties. Yeah, he said, have you ever seen a nicety this big before? That's literally what he verbatimed him, and it destroyed. I've told him that. I've run into him a bunch, but I told him, I said, man, when you said that, it like leveled the room in a way where they could finally laugh because the guy said we can't say anything and then as soon as he breaks The ice because you and I would have said the n-word to start our show. Oh, absolutely

Did you grow I want to I want to touch on a million things beyond our long lasting love and relationship And then we went to the bar. Okay. Well, this is it's this is why we go way back first of i've seen you since then i know it's crazy which is insane because i've come to new york a bunch but you hide whenever i'm there i know i get scared you're on the road so much you live you i see i see you uh by way of with nate online and you're always traveling so you're moving constantly yeah i'm trying i mean i open up for a lot of good guys fortunately Fortunately, my friends are doing very well, so that helps pay the bills. You're next in line.

Yeah, hopefully things keep picking up. But yeah, that was a crazy night because I also, I was four years sober at that time, completely stopped drinking. And then we got annihilated. I broke my sobriety. I was like, that gig fucking sucked. And I told you, I'm like, I'm four years sober, but I kind of feel like drinking. I'm in Vegas.

And you were, you're a good friend. You go, you shouldn't, you shouldn't drink. And I'm like, I kind of feel like I got so nervous. And I was having problems at home with the wife. Yeah. You told me you were like, things are really, I'm struggling a little bit right now with a lot of stuff. Yeah. And without even digging in, I was like, well, maybe not now, man.

And, and I even said, because we were getting dinner and I was like, well, I don't, I don't have to have a drink. If you, I mean, I was like, well, maybe not now, man. And I even said, because we were getting dinner and I was like, well, I don't have to have a drink. I don't have to have one. And you were like, no, you can have one even if I'm not having one. I was like, nah, no, no, no. But you kind of pushed the fact that you were really wanting to. I felt like, I was like, I cannot. I don't want to, I was like, I don't want to influence you at all. And before I knew it, I was fucking black out. I mean, I was like I don't want to influence you at all and you're I knew what I was fucking black Yeah, I was I mean I was toast I kept on I kept on pounding it and then you're just a great hang

So I was having a good time We're bumming cigarettes off of people gambling in the hotel and Then I had a 6 a.m. Flight the next day and I don't maybe I slept maybe for 30 minutes And then I got home I was just hoping by the time I got home that I would be sober by the flight I was still fucked up by the time I got her sure I didn't drink for four years Did you like did your wife say anything when you got home? No, she was I mean she hated me at that time

So it was it was just we were just on completely different levels. She doesn't hate you anymore though. No, we're doing great I had two kids. Yeah, see what they hate me now No, and what's the proof you break sobriety after four years you fall back in love with your great. We have two kids. See what happens? And they ate me now. And what's the proof? You break sobriety after four years, you fall back in love with your wife and you have two kids. Yeah, well we went to marriage counseling, we had a lot of stuff that had to go down. Let me just make it my version. Yeah, right, right. Alcohol helps everything. Yeah, of course. Marriage counseling, counseling, dual therapy sessions, couples counseling, all that stuff.

From the outside world, if you've never experienced it, I get why people are like, mm, nah, I don't fucking know. And then you do get to go to those things, if you do try that, it does work. It does help, I should say. Oh, it definitely helps. You have to just figure out the whole communication between you two.

And also as a couple, it's good to go through things together. So we went through things, not the drinking. Actually, she doesn't even know about that yet. Well, she does now. Yeah, fuck. No, she's cool. And it happened long ago.

So she's okay. It was a long time ago, it was a decade ago. She's like, wait, I thought you've been sober for 20 years. I'm like, no. I have. Yeah, right. You stepped out one time, that's all right. And by the way, if you're gonna do it with a good buddy over a steak and in a casino in Vegas, I feel like that's in a vacuum

It didn't exist completely didn't exist. But also she so the reason why I stopped drinking I never had a problem I should should say that but she is a in a she's in a I'm gonna tell people that but no you can say whatever you want Yeah, but anyway, no, but she was it she was in a she doesn't really go to meetings anymore But she's completely sober. And she actually encourages me to drink if I go out. She thinks I'm more fun anyway. So I'll drink every once in a while now when we go out.

I didn't know that. So it's fun. That is interesting. AA is somewhat treated by many of my friends who have longstanding addiction. A lot of times they slow down going as years have gone on because life gets busy and whatever. It's the same way with like physical therapy

or going to the gym where you're like I'm going a lot yeah as time goes on people like hey I don't see you around anymore you're like you know dude I got stuff going on well a lot of things with a I think after a while these people just keep on talking about the same same story and over so do you want to keep on living that so I think after you know a few years you're like all right I'm moving past this I don't need to talk about how terrible that was because now I'm a mother, I have kids. Well at some point it works, it works. And I guess if you're not, you know, I'm, you know, stepping out of line here because I'm

sure there's people that are listening, they're like, you don't know you're fucking talking about it. But I'm a child of addiction so like I know that part of it where, you know, my father is an addict so the thing I learned or I saw over years was like as long as you're being communal, right, because isn't the 12th step to then help another addict? Isn't that to like take one under your wing and then you become the mentor? I don't know if that's a 12. I don't know what number it is, whatever man, this is innocuous. But if you are still being active helping other people in the world in the program to stay sober, I think that's like, that's the going to church. You know what I mean?

It's like, do I need to go to the building or can I also still pray at home? Yeah, and she's a productive mom and her life is, you know, completely... She hits the kids though. Oh, she hits the kids. Well, that's how she's productive. She hits them and then she gets her shit done. So it flows. I got to do dishes. You guys now, like, do you find that, because I do want to bring up your dad because I've heard a couple of your dad stories because your dad from what I've seen and heard is the greatest con man of all time do you live a life now where

you're doing everything to make sure you're nothing like your father do you do that compensation completely yeah well overcompensate sometimes yes I mean I don't know if maybe it's compensate sometimes yes I mean I don't know if maybe it's like consciously you know when I'm with my kids I want to make sure that I'm not repeating any of the things that my dad did now it's very easy not to repeat him because he was just a liar he was a thief and he was oh he was always trying to figure out a way how to screw somebody over but also he had his he was very selfish in everything that he was doing. It seemed that everything that he would do and I'll get into more specifics

of course, cause that's what my podcast is about. But he, yeah, he would just do everything to, to screw us over in a, but it would benefit him and he wouldn't care about any backlash. So you know, if we're going out for a meal, I mean everything, he was, he was a con man. So you may want to tell me to tell you about the idea but also is he's is he gone now or no uh... no he's so i think that he's alive and i think in past tense though uh... that do you because yeah cuz that we have zero relationship and what that my podcast is about is me tracking down we stopped speaking twenty

four years ago in the goal of the podcast is to learn more about why he made the decisions he made why became the became the con man that he did, and then to see if he changed at all. So I track him down in the podcast to see what he's up to today. And then, yeah, he, I mean, not ruining anything, but he is, he lives up to the hype. He's still a fucking con man. He's still doing stuff. I don't get into specifics in the podcast only because I don't want to fuck him over in his present life, but he is not a good dude.

Where is he still in New York? Where is he live? Yeah, tracking down, he's still in New York. And then, yeah, he's got two homes, always found a way to make money. Always found a way- Does he have another family? I find out that I have a sister that I never met

that was in France. Whoa! Whoa! She's 16, she's smoking hot. And- What a bummer. Yeah, she's probably gonna listen to this and be like, okay. But yeah, she, yeah, I didn't know her, but I get to speak to her very briefly on the podcast

and find out about her. Did she reach out to you? No, I was able, he told me about her. Oh, he came, yeah. So I had no idea that she existed. But a lot of fracturing of my family came from the way that my dad was raising us and the way that all his actions and my parents got divorced. But when they got divorced, it took like 10 years because my dad would delay the whole court proceedings and represented himself firing lawyers.

And then he would then he would take over the court case. And then eventually my mom was pretty much left with nothing, didn't wind up with the house, because my dad changed the deed in the house to his father's name, so if you're suing in a divorce for the house, well, you're suing my dad, but the house is in his father's name, so you get shit. Holy shit. So he figured out ways to get ahead, and everything he was doing was lying, and we had a famous story that was,

I say famous, but it was in Sports Illustrated, because I wrote this article about my dad and I, we were impersonated in Sports Illustrated because I because I wrote this article about my dad and I were impersonated Sports Illustrated for Kids reporter and then we would go to a whole bunch of games saying that We work for Sports Illustrated for Kids. He was a photographer I was a reporter went to over 50 games back in the 90s completely for free and then I interviewed Michael Jordan Do you know about this? Yeah. Yeah, so then I interviewed Michael Jordan. You would go to the garden, right? He was the garden you go to the media the press Entrance yeah and say my son is a reporter for Sports Illustrated Kids.

He would call ahead, so they would already be expecting us, and then he gave us press access. And we went to over 50 games between the 92, 93 season to about the end of the 96, 97 season. Wow. Yeah, and for the Knicks and the Rangers games for free. And then I would go in the locker rooms after and meet all the players. And then that's how I met and interviewed Michael Jordan. It was wild.

It's incredible. So that's the good friendly con of my dad. But then the other ones were. But it was, but also not friendly because this is the manipulation to you're making your son play an illegal game, not an illegal, but a, you know, it's a bad game to trick, make a kid think that he is this thing. Also, he's telling you.

I knew I wasn't it, but if you're going back to, hey, what am I, when I'm raising my kid, am I trying not to make the same mistakes as my dad? My dad would do all this other bad shit and the way that he would treat my family, but meanwhile, we're going to these games together. So I'm like, I kinda needed him. I get to meet all these athletes.

I'm seeing the benefits of his abuse, but in this good way, but then also I'm seeing it also behind closed doors. I'm like, it's not good. But that's severe manipulation. That's so bad because he's tricking you into being like, you need me because you like this stuff. Exactly.

So dad's not a bad guy. It's like, no, that's fucked up. Obviously everybody has a different relationship with their parents, but this is like, yeah, know it's obviously everybody has a different. You know relationship with their parents But this is like he he was never drinking or anything like that No, not a drug user this was like is no But this was like his his kind of like both ends of the spectrum It's like this is the good dad even though he's lying, but then also bad behind closed doors so fascinating It's been in your parents got divorced how old so they by time I was 15

They were done, but then that divorce didn't end till I was 25 Yeah, so my mom basically left with nothing and except lawyers fees which I think She or him one of them like I think he wound up having to pay her her lawyers fees Which is like 60 grand, but she didn't get the house or anything. She just got it. Just the divorce. Is she okay now? She's fine. She remarried and I mean, she's happy it's in the past, but this podcast brings up a lot of stuff and she didn't want to be in it as a fear of just any like, you know, him basically ruining her life again. So she refused to be on the podcast. Wow. But you're not scared. You're like,

you want to take it on? Part of the manipulation that I learned from him is I think that I could get away with saying this shit that he's not going to come after me. And I also promised him, I'm like, cause I do track him down. I say, Hey, this could be made into a movie or a TV show. So I think in the back of his mind, he's like, that's good. So that's holding off probably the potential lawsuit

of anything going down. Well, but it's not, it couldn't sue you cause it's your truth in your story. Yes, but there is defamation. Defamation is impossible. Yes. It's impossible. It is very hard. So I back it up with all the information. So, and then we had to like consult lawyers to be like, this is stuff that you can say. So, but there is stuff that they're like, you cannot say this. Right. You can't fabricate, but if it is true, I mean, it's, it's your version mean and also Your version and his version are probably very different. That's what's interesting about You know like growing up, you know

The son of someone who who's an addict is like I'm sure his version of what happened when I was a kid was significantly different Than mine and different than my mom's. Yeah, do you know what? I mean? Like so all these stories none are less valid than the other it's their viewpoint of it that is What's to be told it's just this is your this is your view point is completely skewed and totally wrong to write But in his mind it's not oh, yeah the problem. It's like his from his perspective. It's like I Wasn't I was doing this because I loved you so much I wanted to that's the trick and that fucks with you as it even as a adult hearing that, you're like, you don't see anything that you've done wrong. And they'll, and it's part narcissism,

it's being a sociopath, it's all that stuff. That's the classic case though, that's beautiful. It's almost like, if you can puppeteer a second life within your own life through your children, that's right, that in the history books, that's like almost impossible to do. Everything I did, he would try and get his hands on if I was playing Little League I'm going on the all you know on the ulcer team. He's coaching it

He's trying to figure out how he committed to the system And then then he's also then he's you find out that the equipment's missing and that where the hell the equipment go because he fucking Sold it like I'm feeling like I'm tons of bats like Louisville slugger like those bat all that equipment And then they have a fucking like Louisville Slugger like those bat all that equipment and then they have a fucking Strange robbery in the Little League because he had have access to the clubhouse He never got caught never got caught but he would he went to court He was in court a lot during growing up. Did people suit him or what was it? He would get sued or he would sue people

So what I tracked down in the podcast was that he was in court from 1984 that I was able to figure out 24 times where he was either a defendant or a plaintiff. In the first year of your birth on earth? Yeah, so my first year. Exactly. When you were one, this guy's in court. That's at least what it tracks back to.

But he had stuff even going before where, I mean, he was in a furniture business where he was sued by the New York State Attorney General for over, uh, stealing from 2000 people for, it was, back then it was over $200,000. So 200, so back in the 80s. In 84, man, that's like 700 grand today. I know. So, and this is, he basically, he wasn't giving people their furniture. He would give some people their furniture and then other people, he wouldn't. So, but it's hard to track that down back in the day. That's so great. I'm laughing cuz it's like insane It's like you read about this or you see this on a TV show, right?

And you're kind of like why would you do that? Why don't you just give people your furniture and then I you know when I finally talked to him He goes the reason why is because I was felt that I needed to get ahead I didn't have enough money to keep on going. I didn't have enough money to support our family so I had to figure something out. And part of you feels for your dad because he's saying that but also it's part of like well don't lie don't do that stuff. Yeah. Because eventually you made things way worse. But did he ever have a job job? Like if somebody... Every job involved some some bullshit. Eventually

he got into the telecommunication business where he was he was putting in phones in different places like Costco and Toys R Us and he had all of their all these big accounts over I wound up being about over 200 accounts across Long Island New York City and New Jersey and he would put in their their pay phones and also their whole telecommunication systems and that was seemed legit but he was saying that he worked for AT&T, even though he didn't. So they believed that they were dealing with AT&T and that AT&T was putting in this system.

And when you call my dad's phone, he would have their chime. He would have AT&T shirts. He would have a hat. He had a truck that said AT&T on it. They completely thought that he worked for them. And they eventually, AT&T got wind of it, it reported him had a whole bunch of different cease and desist letters sent to him completely ignored it and then he had this big court case where he went against AT&T and he eventually wins this court case he wins

this court case against AT&T because the evidence that they had against him that that they took from our house they one day US Marshals came to our house and they took a whole bunch of evidence day US Marshals came to our house and they took a whole bunch of evidence. This evidence magically, midway through the court case, goes missing. It was like a Breaking Bad thing where evidence just fucking vanishes.

And they accused my dad of stealing the evidence in a guarded facility that's locked under surveillance for 24 hours, seven days a week, and it magically just goes missing. So my dad always had a way of, now in the podcast I ask him about this and he kind of like tiptoes around it, but everyone, and especially when you listen to,

I have this whole court scene reenacted, they completely believe that my dad was behind this break-in. And it's insane, but he always had a way of, he impersonated a cop, he impersonated a cop he impersonated lawyers. He did a Impersonator photographer, you know of a sports illustrator for kids This is his way of living and everything that he did was completely a you know, a fabrication Where does it come from from him? What happened with his parents? I tried figuring that out and Everything I know about his parents. They were legit. I mean, they're my grandparents.

They were normal people, just hardworking immigrants that came over from Europe. But my dad, I think, just grew up in a time where kids were sneaking in on subways, sneaking in around, going to baseball games and stuff, regular things that kids would do. But as my dad grew up, he just kept going. He just kept on doing the same stuff that kids back in the day would do.

Stealing a candy bar turned into pretending to be an AT&T employee. Exactly. That's just genius. Yeah, just figuring it out. The levels of that. He would drive around a cop car, one of those old Chevy Caprice cop cars that would have like the light on the side of it and he would go just driving around and drive past drive behind people to make them move over and

then he would even pull people over and impersonate a cop. One guy who I interviewed who used to work for him told me how my dad would pull up to crime scenes and then act like he was a cop with this guy in the car. What would he get out of this? Just he was fun for him? I think he loved the rise out of it. He loved figuring out how he could, he could do all this stuff without actually having to become a cop, without having to be a photographer or a lawyer and he could get away with it.

And he could just be just as good as those people. In here, we pour whiskey. This episode of Whiskey Ginger is brought to you by Squarespace. Hey, I've been talking about Squarespace for quite a while because I love their stuff. If you've ever designed a website, you know it's not so easy. It's kind of a pain, but with Squarespace, they take care of all of that. They make it so simple.

Back in the day, you used to have to know C++ or coding or somebody that did, and what a nightmare. But now, Squarespace Blueprint AI and SEO tools, they help you completely personalize your website with a new guided design system. You can choose from professionally curated layout styling options to build a unique online presence from the ground up tailored to your brand or your business.

And optimize for every single device, no matter what people are viewing you on. I love it because with this this you can sell content, you can sell exclusive content by adding a paywall, memberships on your site, there's invoicing built in. There's so many ways to sell yourself or sell your product or whatever you're doing, whether you're a chef, a comedian, an artist, a public speaker, someone that makes shoes out of old clothes. I don't know what you're up to, but whatever it is, Squarespace has got you covered.

And the analytics are incredible. I've talked about this. It's my favorite. You can measure your end-to-end online performance with powerful website and seller analytics. You can get insights on top traffic sources, understand how your reach is growing, track sales metrics, where the hits are coming from basically to get fully integrated and clearly displayed in front of your face so you know where your brand is the most successful and what part of the country or the world or even down to what county people are viewing your stuff in.

That's why you got to try it. If you're looking to create a site, I don't know why you're toying around with anything else. You got to do yourself a favor and do Squarespace. Head over to squarespace.com slash whiskey to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using that code whiskey. Once again squarespace.com slash whiskey, 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using our code whiskey.

Well as you can see your boy's a little bit cleanly shaven or cleaner shaven than I usually am and that's because of a little job I had to do. And I got my Harrys on. I don't know if you know about Harrys, but boy oh boy you should. Harrys is incredible. German engineered blades made in their own factory that stay sharp much longer. If you're someone that shaves every day for work or for yourself, for your own lifestyle, and you want to clean up your facce, you must use Harrys. It's a five blade razor, weighted handle. It's so nice. That's my favorite part. It's a five blade razor, weighted handle. It's so nice. That's my favorite part.

It feels nice and comfortable in your hand. When I'm cleaning up my neck and my facce, I like to feel it in my hand. It's all about feel. It's all about touch. Rich lathering skin softening body wash like scents like redwood wildlands and stone they also have. Extra strength, high quality, amazing smelling deodorant for just $5 plus hair and other grooming products that fit your unique look and your needs.

They got it all at Harry's. They are a multi-faceted company to make you look, smell, feel so good. They get the highest customer satisfaction in the shaving industry. Boom! In your face. No risk trial. If you don't like your shave, no worries. It's on them. Come on. It's on them. Convenient subscription option. You can cancel it anytime. You're not going to be brialed down by something where you think you can't get out of it. All right. But Harry's has got you covered with classic, but also stylish and beautiful and durable

shaving razors, man. Why not? Give it a whirl. Stop getting ripped off. With Harry's, you can get a shave that's a cut above the rest. Get started with a $13 trial set for just $3 at harrys.com slash whiskey that is harrys.com slash whiskey for a $3 trial set. Let's go. Ginger. I like gingers.

Your dad is uh what's his name? Frank Abagnale. Yeah. Yep. It's the same guy. It's like the same guy Yeah, like 10 years after that guy. Right, not a bad person But just stuck in a loop and a lot of people say oh he couldn't do that now Because all this stuff, you know, this is before surveillance technology about internet all that things But my dad would always find a way and I don't think he's doing great stuff now either Doing in his own version, figuring it out. Well now, what do you mean? It's probably easier now.

You don't become honest. Right, this is easier now. Like there's, the internet, people get scammed on the internet every fucking day. I mean, that's like, we had a family friend that almost got caught by one of those like, you know, like princes, you know, when someone sent you like a prince email?

Yeah. Someone in our family almost got buried down. It wasn't a prince? No, dude, turned out it wasn't. Just princes, just in conversation with a prince. Yeah, I really just love a prince. And his email is prince at yahoo.com. Right?

Well, my grandmother, when she was alive, this was terrible, and thankfully it didn't work, but some piece of shit called my grandmother's phone, right, some scam guy, and it should have been the first giveaway. She actually said in retrospect, she was like, that should have been the first giveaway, because the kid would go, grandma? And she goes, who is this? And we never called her grandma. So that should have been the first note. And she said she realized it a little bit after, but he was like, it's me, I'm in trouble. And she elicited the name, which I bet, you know, they do that all the time. They go, it's me, it's me. And she said,

you know, my cousin's name. And the kid obviously was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm in trouble because I got caught with pot and I'm at the police station and I need you to go get cash out and come and I cuz I can't tell my dad he'll kill me you know and my grandmother was like okay okay she panicked she's like I need to help him like I got to get him out of here and then as she hung up and she was going to go to the ATM it clicked that she's like well why wouldn't I just call to find it if they know where he is? Right. So she did, she called, he was at home, it wasn't him. So thankfully... Say, grandma, I'm getting butt raped now! Please! But thankfully they didn't get her.

It was like insanely just, it was like right so close. Also the irony being, she's gone now, but if she were alive, she would have known. The person that she chose, my cousin, does like to smoke a lot of pot, and he smokes it with his dad. So it's like, she didn't know that, but it's like, the irony of her being like, you gotta cough her pot, it's like,

he smokes way more pot than his son does, Yeah. Yeah. My uncle smokes way more pot. Part of what a good scam artist does, it's just strength in numbers. You don't need everybody to buy your bullshit. You just need one. And now you're, you're good. You got some good money coming in. I was, I was tricked on some good lies, but then also, well, I feel you're pretty, you're quick witted now, especially in the business that we're... It's probably because I was exposed to the chaos. Right, you have a heightened awareness to what's going on right now.

I think most things are bullshit. Exactly, especially in this business, you're dealing with people that are constantly blowing smoke up your ass. And it is bullshit, this whole business is. So this whole business is a lot of con artists, ironically enough, like you work in the world of con art. Most people that we work with, because our con, if it was, is on display.

So like telling jokes, although comedy is subjective, it's pretty objective from a standpoint of people either like it or they don't. So if nobody likes it, it's going to stop at some point. You can't keep tricking people into thinking, that's why when somebody goes, I don't know why XYZ got famous, they're not that good. It's like well. They must be fucking good enough absolutely Because it's you may not like it, but clearly it's working with the con world

You can suck one person into a hole you don't need a full entire That audience for us is one brain we don't for a con artists You don't want everybody's brain together. You just want them kind of separate from one another. Right, and because you and I share that, I think that's why we got on pretty quickly, that we come from that world of height and awareness, or I'm very weary often of bullshit,

because I do feel like I might get fucked over. Because I did feel like I often got fucked over as a kid. I did have a good childhood anyway, because my mom remarried and I had... Oh, look at you. Yeah, well, you know, look at me. But I had a guy who really raised me, step into the light,

but that other stuff really stuck in my head. So it really does a thing where you're like... When did your stepdad come into your life? My parents were when I was one, like right around when I was one. And they started seeing, well, they got married when I was seven. Like right around when I was one. And they started seeing... Well they got married when I was seven or eight, something like that.

So they saw each other... Your stepdad's like, I don't know about this kid right now. Would you? I mean, come on. A little redheaded kid? I joke about that all the time. I'm like, what an idiot.

My son, one of my kids is redheaded. Poor bastard. Poor bastard. He's got beautiful red hair. I think of you when I look at my son though. Okay, good. So when I kiss you, you'll think of your son after this is over? No, but I think I just, I learned about, you know, like that image of like a kid waiting on a stoop for someone to come pick him up and he never does.

I mean, that was literally me. Like in that Rockwellian, like with the baseball mitt, like sitting on the porch waiting for someone to come. So your relationship with your father We never talked about this. What was it your actual father? He would wait for him You would you get you on weekends or every he would often no it wasn't like that My mother had full custody He would come and go as she deemed appropriate like when she felt like it was when he was out of prison

Yeah, really and so it wasn't like a scheduled you go every it was like a when when you can, when you will. Do you know what I mean? Because my mom never asked for child support, never wanted a dime. I think actually at the beginning she did and he was so evasive that she was like, fuck it, I'm not gonna chase this down. It's not worth it. Because then she's like, he's my whole kid.

I get to do, you don't get to just. She doesn't wanna need anything from him. I could do this all. She's a badass. She did it, she was like, fuck this, I'm gonna go. So. My mom was like, let's just keep this guy around for a little bit longer.

What is she thinking? I mean, I can't take it a game. So he was probably tricking her. He's manipulating her. Oh yeah. She was a stay at home mom. So the situation she was, and uh, she had, I have two older sisters. There was a need for him to be in our life

and she felt trapped. She couldn't do anything. See, that's the trick. My mother was, it was just me and you know she was a working woman anyway. You know we don't, they, that's important that is very important to have both people work. Well neither of them came from money so it was no, it wasn't a choice, it wasn't an option. Do you know what I mean? Like my mother grew up, no, so my grandfather was a firefighter. They weren't rolling in the dough. So it was kind of like, you had to work. You go to work, that's what you do.

So for her, there wasn't like a, maybe I will, maybe I won't. It was, I have to get a divorce and I'm gonna, I have to figure out how to raise this kid. But he would come and go, but the stories, the lies are that, oh, I'll come on this day day or I can't come now, or my car broke down or a thing.

It was always, there was always something back then. And I blanket out a lot of it because it's like, you know, it piled up to a point when you were like, you know, I don't even, I stopped giving a shit. I think around early teen, you know, like late, at some point you're like, fuck it. that kind of stuff has such an effect on you Especially when you hear to me My parents relationship and then seeing how my dad treated everybody and all the shit that we went through

When somebody would tell you something serious like death or something happened of an injury I just wouldn't give a fuck because I became this shell of myself because I dealt with stuff before in my life already Right just like I dealt with stuff in my life already, just like you dealt with stuff. I would lack empathy for people's situations because I'm like, I've been through a whole bunch of stuff or I felt like I had and then until later in life I was like, oh you need to be a human being and really care about other people. Well, I think that comes with time though. Yes. I think the empathy for me has grown significantly because I've gotten more sensitive with age. I think just because life is has grown significantly because I've gotten more sensitive with age. I think just because life is, it's, you're going to die. Yes. I think as you get older

you're like, oh it makes, I get it, I am gonna die. So you start to get your, you just start to get more empathetic through nature. When you're young, it's also hard because you're a little hard-headed and driven and forward and like whatever man, fucking things happen, blah blah blah. Right. You grow up a little bit, especially you have children, you're in a, you know, you get married to somebody, I think you just start to, your view, your worldview shifts, organically. And then you really start to lose people from death,

or people that leave or move or leave your life, and it hits you in a way where it never used to. Right. When you were young. Completely. Yeah, you see all these famous people, and you're like, used to do movies that were so silly, and then you get, they get older, and you're like, but now you're doing people and you're like used to do movies that were so silly and then you get they get older And you're like, but now you're doing that you like why because they are their whole mind changed, right?

Yeah, they grew up and I definitely feel like I'm growing up. I never wanted but I always kept in mind I'm like, I don't want to lose that I still want to say some messed up shit Yeah that I said when I was you will but yes, but I want to I still now care more I care more about living. I care more about leaving my kids in a good place and their lives and all that stuff. But you think about death. I think about death every day. When I wake up, I'm thinking about dying. Really? I mean, it just comes across my mind like it's gonna happen. Sure. And time is time goes so fast. How do you think you go?

God, well we were talking of at breakfast today just about You know, I guess somebody died of like a was it like an it was a pulmonary embolism. Yeah I'm like, I don't want to go that way. I definitely don't want ALS I don't want Alzheimer's. That's number two, but ALS is my number one that I don't I could tell you what I don't want Yeah, but I don't want and I also don't want a car crash. No, I was got a car crash here That's why I got the big I got that big car. I was gonna say I even said I even said a Matt I was like look at this look at look at little Gary in this big fucking car

I got a fucking huge cuz I got a tank cuz I'm I know everybody in LA is a bad driver So I'm like, let me kill them. Sure. Yes, yes, yes. Let me kill them. And right when I was coming from the airport, I'm 20 minutes into the drive, this truck cuts me off, so I'm like, I veer a little bit into the right lane, and then I see a guy with a motorcycle, it was literally Final Destination, where I'm about to kill this fucking guy on a motorcycle, and he's like, what the fuck, and I'm like, there's a truck there. I'm like, what, you want me to hit the truck? No, I gotta kill you.

Yeah, I'm gonna kill you. I have to make that decision. Well, instead I just shot him was he Was he lane splitting was he or no he was so I'm in them I'm in like the middle lane that the truck was veering into my lane So the truck was coming into my lane and then he was passing me on the right which he shouldn't have been doing anyway, right? That's true. So everybody was fucked up and right well, but the motorcyclist the most fucked up He's yeah

He should never pass somebody on the on the right and it's what like there was there's total time for him to just wait behind me and not go on my right side yeah also in California you know that that was the first time I ever saw that when I moved out here was lane splitting is totally legal here you know a lot of places it's illegal to drive in between the lanes but here you can on a bike you can do that oh I didn't like splitting is legal here right okay but I think look this up to make sure I'm almost positive I mean I know it's legal totally legal but I think if they split lanes then they have then they assume responsibility.

So if you hit a biker who's splitting a lane yeah right like if you if you rear into that or veer into them on accident it's their fault because they're you know they're foregoing their right they're right they're laying right when they split lanes is that true it says here who's at fault for lane splitting accidents in California since it is not illegal a biker will not be held liable for these accidents just so they don't they're not held liable they're not if a motorcyclist was riding while inebriated for example he or she may be held liable well yeah yeah blah blah blah if blah. If you're drunk, you're drunk. But so it is just a regular wow.

But yeah, it's totally legal here. People are driving like maniacs here. But that's why, why would you split, when I see people split lanes, I'm like, you know how crazy this is. Insane. At any moment. Dude, there's videos on YouTube of guys going like 85 splitting lanes on, like 85, 90. I have a death wish.

Oh, dude, there's guys that are doing it for five, six miles. Oh, it takes, and some of the, I mean. It's a side mirror. I'm drawing, exactly, it's dude those guys that are doing it for five six miles. It takes and something. I mean, it's a side mirror I'm drawing exactly. It's a side. Exactly. It's a side mirror. It's just going a little bit to your left It's like you checking your GPS. Well, I'm on my phone the whole time. I mean, I'm gonna I'm gonna I hate to say but it's like how do you know I'm posting I'm doing everything. I'm working. Yeah, I'm working There should be a lay. There's a fast lane. There should be a lane right next to it for people on their phone. Yes, there should be a phone lane exactly You know how they call it the what do they call it the HOV lane the high occupancy vehicle lane here?

Where it's a carpool lane. Yep There should be just one more that has bumpers on it like bowling bumpers and it's people on their phone and your car can just Bump slight my slightly off the side shouldn't driving at this point be the safest thing? How do we not have a way of your car could go? Yeah, 75 miles an hour. That's the limit. Why am I coming home at, you know, late at night from a spot? And then you see a car going like 120.

Yeah. And if they ram you from the back, you're dead. You die. They're totally fine. Yeah. Well, so then you're pro automation of cars. Like then it's then just do fully automated. Yeah.

You're into this. I mean, I know that then you add the government, the government could be like. Right, then who's controlling it? That's what's scary. Self control is still, it's still popular because we all wanna be able to make our decision. I wanna die at my own hands, not at a computer's hands.

We're dying at a computer's hands anyway. You think we're gonna die at a computer's hands? Do you think, what do you think it's gonna be? Yeah, take over? I mean, things are moving so fast. AI will rule the world and computers will. Dude, we've been doing, making movies about this for like 30, 40 years. Computers are taking over, everyone's like, oh, robots taking over. 100%. We gave them the ability to do so. It's only going to get worse. Yeah, I heard that robots are gonna be, they're're now they could they're gonna be picking up on emotion. They can't do it yet They're like little by little they're getting close though. So it's like they're gonna start fucking our women soon

Yeah, that's so funny, I mean you're not satisfied he's not taking care of you No, I do think that's the impending doom is of course this and by the way, we'll be dead What do you mean you're not satisfied? He's not taking care of you? What are you doing AI me? No, I do think that's the impending doom is of course this, and by the way, we'll be dead, which is kind of great. It'll be over. Your kids, they're screwed. But they're gonna feel it in a way they will interact fully with.

Like we already use the technology now. You've ever seen those robots that like roll into the room? Yes. And they use those at hospitals a lot now for like terminally ill patients or people with communicable Yes. And they use those at hospitals a lot now for like terminally ill patients or people with communicable diseases. So they make it so less disease are being passed in hospitals. I think at some point, hospitals will be fully automated.

Doctors will be satellite. There won't be anybody in there. Because some of the highest diseases transferred in hospitals are like, you know, it's like, what is it, a hospital acquired pneumonia or something like that. It's really bad too. Okay, yeah, I hear people get pneumonia in the hospital. But the hospital acquired pneumonia is

way more detrimental than if you just got pneumonia. Because I guess it's just like, you know, it's circulatory in there. So it's even, it's doubled its strength or whatever. But old people go to there for one thing, They're sick, and then they die of that Way faster because it just kid so I just think too. They'll have fully automated. You'll be Single cell bubbled off in hospitals and doctors won't be there and if you need to operate the machine will just be I'm gonna be on my deathbed in the hospital and make fucking Santino is right

Robot role and it's me? I go in and go, fuck you, Peter! The robot pulls the plug. We can't stand your bullshit anymore, Gary. Yeah, or delete, just delete. Well, dude, I just had to write a will about that. I just did the wills about, do you want to be on the machine or off the machine and all that stuff?

Did you do a family, have you done a living will with your wife? Yeah, I know we have something going on. Dude, it sucks. I gotta look into that. We just redid one because we did one, but your wife? Yeah, I know we have something going on. Dude, it sucks. I gotta look into that. We just redid one because we did one, but now there's like, you know,

now we have to have like, they can change, but he was like, we need some permanent, we had like a really light one and now we need like, what happens if this and this and this and where does this go and what do you want? Cause now that we have a house, it's like, well, who gets the blah, blah, blah. And part of it was this section about if you're on a, if you're, you know, incapacitated

and you're on a machine, how long do you want to be kept alive? And I like it's, it's an impossible question. I do not, I don't know. Like my, how bad, like if you're on a machine, it's not good, but how young are you? That's what I'm saying. Can I fight this out? You hear people coming out of it too, somewhat. Imagine you're in that kind of like purgatory,

but you're cognizant and you like hear a voice that's like, hey man, in a day or two, we're gonna get you back out to the real world. And they pull on you and you're like, you can't. I just have this gripping fear. But also if they tell me I'm gonna be, I'll be in a vegetative state for the rest of my life I think you got to let me ride. Just let me go. Yeah, I don't want to I don't want I don't want someone else to ruin Their life taking care of me. I agree. You know I mean like I don't want my wife dad

It's like just fuck the gardener already. I mean, I don't want you to have to well. Yes, or she is Vegetative while you're doing yeah, I don't want to hear it happening upstairs Yeah, just blink twice if you want me to fuck the gardener Like I think I was a blink. I'm gonna fuck them anyway I just think the fear of like being alive and feeling the world happening around you but not being able to participate And then burdening my your loved ones. I'm like just let me go. I'm fine. You guys live your hap, I lived a life, I'm good, you guys do your thing. Exactly.

Cause you can be out right now, right? Forty, you did it, you're done. I know, I look at that as like, you know, my kids are everything, so whatever I have to do to, if I have to go, I'm out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like if it's a gun to your kid's head and your wife's head and your head and they're like,

you gotta, we have to sacrifice one you go with yeah your wife wife yeah you gotta get yeah she's gotta go yeah yeah that's me and the dog you know her side of the family all that all the in-laws gone yeah you get on with these people they're good yeah they're good they're good yeah they're very helpful especially I'm traveling so my in-laws help so much they live up by you guys yeah okay yeah nice. There. It's I could not do it without their help good This very political. I'm glad you're saying this now is my Circle but my wife she's she's a stay-at-home mom so yeah, I'm very lucky that she

And it's a tough job. It's not easy what she's doing I always say I joke about it on stage, but I'll say that what I do is much harder than what she does. But she is a trooper. Well, because you're doing comedy and in OnlyFans. I think you have a lot. I have a lot of stuff. You have a lot of stuff. I have a lot of pressure too. I have to support the family. You got to keep those feet looking nice.

The fact that those guys had second families, the fact that that was like a thing. Yeah. That people could have a whole nother family in another town. Well, you didn't have to FaceTime your family back in the day. It would be one phone call. It was, you could do it during the middle of the day

and then you could go on living your other life. Yeah, but it's so funny. And the phone call, by the way, the phone lines are down, honey. I couldn't call you all week. It's almost like They made it convenient For people to have second families and like the town would be quiet about it You know, I only way to live like I don't know who it was There's a guy that we know his dad had a family in the same neighborhood had an entire second family

Do you know what I'm talking about? It's a comic his dad had a fucking family in the same neighborhood. That's crazy blocks away So they're obviously running into each other. But also how- That's ballsy. How nuts in the same, dude, at least go a county away. I've never seen anything, that's insane. That's just stupidity. Your dad could have pulled it off.

My dad could have pulled it off. My dad would be gone for weeks at a time. So you don't even know, he could have- Well he has that- He has a French girl. He has a French girl. Was that a't even know, he could have- Well, he has that- He has the French girl. He has the French girl. Was that a woman that he wasn't in France? What I found out, he was in Israel.

Sorry, everybody, I'm a Jew. Jesus Christ, don't say we're gonna lose viewers now. Sorry, I'm a Jew. Palestinians are out. By the way, that's the name of your next special, Sorry, I'm a Jew. Yeah, sorry, I'm a Jew. Sorry.

That would be great. I actually probably would get both sides. Right, right. So he would be gone for weeks at a time. Nobody knew where he was gone. But it was a relief in my household that he was gone and he would come back and then shit was hitting the fan. So what do you go to Israel for birthright as like a 50 year old man? Yeah, he figured out a way. He's like, I'm 13. I'm here for my bar mitzvah. But he went to he would go to Israel. He would say that he had he had family there. He also would say that he was born there.

I don't know, nobody ever knew if that was true or not. There was a lot of misconceptions of who he actually, where he was born and a whole bunch of his... But what about your grandparents? Were they, they didn't ever vouch for this? Or they were gone? They were gone before I could ask them. But and or family could like vouch for it.

He probably had him killed. Yeah, I mean, he probably did this. They were Holocaust survivors too. So they, I I mean they dealt with a whole bunch of stuff But they were very supportive of their son, even though he was a pathological liar Well, yeah, because they've been through such trauma that that's they didn't want they didn't yeah They didn't want to lose a family member They actually wound up Choosing him over us when time came because we couldn't keep a relationship going with them because they would let my father into our lives by just communicating with them so by

time I was 15 I cut my dad off and I had to cut my grandparents his parents away because they they were supportive of his life they were like look it's our son didn't want to lose yet they didn't want to lose a son now it's it was insane they didn't they were all lived in a world where you have to respect your parent no matter what fuck yes. Yeah, it's fuck. Crazy. It's old school. Yeah, that's well, it's, it's, it's, okay, there's also immigrant pieces of that where

their survival mode is so high that they probably think this is how he survives. Right. This is how he needs to survive and support his family. His family should support him. Exactly. Right. It's a, it's a fuck. They justified it.

It's so dark. Now, nowadays kids don't respect their parents whatsoever my kids don't respect Yeah, your son calls you a bitch. Yeah, yeah, that's enough yesterday He goes or two days ago. He goes smell my he goes smell my finger I didn't just stick it in my ass, and then I I'm like I 100% you suck that thing What do you learn that from though? Yes mom? Yeah? And I smell this finger and he definitely suck it in his ass in here We pour whiskey.

You know what bugs me? Bugs. Not a fan of bugs. You see someone creepy crawling around your house and you're like, what do I gotta do? Well, you can handle anything with Pesty. Thank you for Pesty. Pesty is the best.

Honestly, this summer has been so hot, so many spiders. I should show you guys the photo I took of a spider that was outside of my front door that wove a web so big. It was disgusting. And also impressive to say the least, but other pest control companies charge hundreds of dollars and make a one size fits all plan. Pesty makes a customized treatment plan for you

based on your locations, bugs, and climate. The bugs are different everywhere, baby. Plus the specific chemicals that are rotated so that bugs don't build up tolerances. That's big. They could fight back at some point. Not with Pest-E. That makes it, you know, effective over time. When you fight back the right way with Pest-E, you're going to control those bugs creepy

crawling around your house. For anyone who thinks you need to be an expert to take care of pest control around your house, think again. Pesty is super easy. It takes just 10 minutes to apply and it comes with everything you need, including a cool reusable electronic sprayer.

Applying Pesty is even easier than mowing your lawn. It is very simple. I used it myself around my house on the back patio that I got outside of the back. That's where the dog and I like to play. And the buggy buggies are a little bit annoying. So, you know, Pesty helped it out. They cleaned it up, made it a little bit simpler

and it's kid and pet friendly. Huge, cause I don't want my dog ingesting something that's gonna make her sick. Pesty offers a 100% bug free guarantee or your money back. Seriously, they will refund you if you're not happy with Pesty. Give me a break. You gotta clean up your area.

Get rid of those little annoying bugs. Now is the time to protect your home from bugs for less with Pesty, give me a break. You gotta clean up your area. Get rid of those little annoying bugs. Now is the time to protect your home from bugs for less with Pesty. Head to Pesty.com slash whiskey and use the code WISKY for an extra 10% off your order. Once again, that is Pesty.com slash whiskey for 10% off and make sure you use my promo code WISKY so they know I sent ya.

Listen up there renters, if you feel like you're stuck in a loop, which many of us do in this day and age, times are a little tough in there. Up and down the economy keeps shifting and gases either $30 or 30 cents. Who knows what the next turn is? And if you ever feel like you're stuck in a weird loop of rent payments,

just giving out to somebody else, watching your money vanish into thin air, it's time to turn that rent game around and start earning some serious rewards. That's where builtwards comes in. Man, do I wish this existed a long time ago. We've all been there feeling like we're burning cash for these rent checks, and BILT is breaking ground as a neighborhood rewards program that hooks you up with points on your rent. Every single month you pay your rent, you can watch the BILT points roll in. Use points to jet off on a dream vacay, huh? With your girlies. Make a TikTok out of it.

Put your points towards a flight or hotel stay with 500 plus airlines and 700,000 hotels and properties. That is so many. That's not whittling it down to something small. It's all over the place. You can also use your points to book fitness studio classes, redeem them towards future rent payments. They're designed to meet your lifestyle, whatever that is.

You can pay rent hassle-free through the BILT Rewards app. Your rent game just got a major upgrade. BILT points have been consistently ranked the highest value point currency by the points guy and by bank rate. And I'm telling you, if you're someone that's renting, you've been doing it for a long time, you want to get some kickback for what you're kicking out to the world, you must try BILT. What are you waiting for? Take that trip, earn those points,

put it towards your rent or other things. Why not try? Earn points by paying rent right now when you go to joinbilt.com slash whiskey. That is join, J-O-I-N, Bilt, B-I-L-T, joinbilt.com slash whiskey. Make sure to use our URL so they know. We sent you.

Joinbilt.com slash whiskey to start earning points with your rent payments today. Ginger. I like gingers. It is weird. Do they call you dad? When I hear the kids call their parents Gary, or that's why.

They call me dad, but I know that Gary's gonna come along where it's gonna be like, that's our guest Gary. And it's such a name that you would definitely call your Dad if that's your name. Gare! Yeah. Yeah, it's cute. I mean, I'm sorry. It's it's cool at a certain age You know to call your parents by their name if it's a friendly sweet thing, right? But I see little kids do it

To reference their parents. Little kids do it. Like I see it all the time in LA when I hear a kid say that. Yeah. Like there's a kid in the neighborhood. How old? He's gotta be eight. Eight's a good name. Eight looks right in my mind because eight is like fourth grade, isn't that right? Third grade, fourth grade?

Yeah, third, fourth. And I don't want to say his name, but it's an annoying fucking name. But when he responds, he says his. It's called Sawyer. Yeah, Sawyer. He responds. He calls his mother by her full name. Well, and I know she goes by something else. Do you know what I mean? It's like if she went by Jen, you know, and he says Jennifer.

But he does it in such a diminutive way, in such like a rude. Right. I get mad. You know, I want to go over there and beat the shit out of that well It's hard that's the thing is a decision as a parent you have to pick your battles. You're like if this kid's calling me Gary Okay, I guess I'll go with it Yeah, you know if he's being rude to a person at Starbucks. That's where you fucking but don't you think that's the tipping point? It starts with the it it starts with the... I think there's a... there is like a respect of mom and dad thing. Well, that's mom and dad.

That's not fucking Gary. It's true. It's not Gary. That's dad. You're my dad. But also, I understand concessions. I get when, as a parent, you're probably like... As a comic, you're like, oh, that's kind of funny.

Yeah. So I don't want to handcuff him like they did at fucking Jim Beam. Right. It's like if he's trying to express himself as a comic you're like, oh, that's kind of funny. Yeah. So I don't wanna handcuff him like they did at fucking Jim Beam. Right. It's like if he's trying to express himself as a comic. Right, let him say the N-word. Right. Let him fly free in the house.

Yes, yeah. Just go, it opens up the crowd. It really does. If you learn anything from Alonzo Bode. Shout out to Alonzo Bode. If we learn anything, you smack him with the truth, hit him with the N-word, and boy, it rains down, man. You smack him, smack him with the truth, hit him with the N-word, and boy, it rains down, man.

You tour a lot with our good friend, Nate Bargazzi, who I love, who I think I wanna clear the air here and say it on the show. Nobody wants to talk about it, because everybody has nothing but good things to say. He's really mean to you, he's brutal to you. It's been bad, and I think you should just come clean and say all of it here.

He owes me a lot of money. He hasn't paid you once. No and he keeps on saying that his business manager will pay me and nothing so I'm owed I mean upwards of it's like six figures now. Really? Yeah. And this is a Nate Bargatze that we know and love this is the Tennessee kid that we know and love and then so he's doing this to you. I say that I'm gonna file a lawsuit. He goes, go ahead, I'm too big. Is that what he says? And he goes, I'll crush you in court. Yeah, I'll crush you in court.

It sounds like Nate, I'm too big. I will crush you. So my dad's representing me. And I'm like, Nate, you're fucked. That's crazy your father represented himself, by the way. It's like my cousin Vinny type of vibes. Oh, it's wild. But does he, he he must be intelligent very intelligent

I found that he would sit in on court like you could go into a courthouse and sit in on cases So that's what he would do So he figured out what lawyers were saying and his his whole thing was you could just delay things if you delay things that cost People more money. So that's how he operated and he would do that with the divorce and it's costing my mom tons of money with attorney's fees and then when it came down to AT&T he knows exactly what to do He's telling people different dates of depositions when they should show up and it would be the wrong day

So then they're not there. So then that court has to it's really pissing off. How would he have AT&T lawyers? How did he have the resources to do this is what I think he just got off on all this stuff that he could be outsmarting these people who are supposed to be lawyers from you know Colombia right by the way it doesn't like Jews and they would they would go he would he would fight them in court and feel better than them and that's what gave him the energy to keep on doing it. Wow. It's mind boggling to me. Well, how about this? This is something that my wife has asked me.

What do you think is good qualities you took from your father? I think he was very funny, very charismatic. Do you think that's where you get it from? Not your mother? Is your mother funny? I was able to see him do things and the way that he would interact with people.

And at least that first meet, when he would meet somebody, that first impression, he had them in his pocket. So that's something where, not that, I would never want to take advantage of somebody, but I would want them to like me. And he was very likable in the beginning. So that's something that I've tried to do where he's affable yes

yeah he's got that like people's piece of piece of people's person people's person and politician and I remember him making people laugh and I remember thinking when I was a kid oh I can't wait till be able to make adults adults laugh and I saw that and my mom had zero personality whatsoever. So I was like, all right, well, I don't want to be that. I'm sure she loves to hear that. Yeah. So she was no personality, never like could tell the joke. If she did, it would be the worst thing ever.

But my dad would always make people laugh. And I remember really taking to that. And I would see him do all these amazing things, get us into a locker room and become, you know, be a lawyer, whatever, be a cop and I was like, well you could have done those things if you worked hard. So I was able to see that if you put all that effort into the way that you do it with lying, you could actually have been something. So that gave me the ability to think, oh I could do that if I worked really hard and I wanted to do comedy so I was like Oh if I work really hard it is possible

And I was able to meet famous people at an early age too So meeting all these athletes people that you realize strive to be great early on and worked really hard Seeing that made me realize. Oh, I could do too if I worked hard Who was it who did you meet that you that was truly like a mind-blowing experience for you? Well definitely Michael Jordan. But that was I mean as soon as you meet Michael Jordan obviously you're Chicago guy you're like this is nothing gets fucking bigger. But I met Mario Lemieux, I was a big hockey guy. Love. But I met a lot of these guys also at there's a now that it's different and you do it but it's they

had a it was called the CGA Celebrity Golf Association they used to have a tournament on Long Island and I would go to this tournament and I would meet a bunch of people but I met John Elway there Joe Namath cool and a whole bunch of other hockey guys I was such a hockey guy so it was just Mike Arruzzione who won a gold medal with the USA team and you play hockey as a kid I played hockey as a kid my dad eventually started a basically what it was was an a a a you hockey team where we'd go to tournaments but he would overcharge parents. So he was the head of this organization but meanwhile

he was charging people instead of $200 for a hotel room he's charging them $450. Pockets it. Pockets it. Genius. Parents are yelling at him at these tournaments. He's creating two teams that, we were born in 83, he was creating two 83 teams and they were competing against each other. Parents were furious because one was better than the other. So he was just, they shouldn't be in the same tournament. But meanwhile he has two teams of figure 15 kids, that's 30 kids that he's making money off of.

And then I'm on the best team even though I wasn't deserved, I was a good hockey player, but I wasn't deserving to be on either of these teams. What position were you? I was a forward. Yeah, because though I wasn't deserving. I was a good hockey player, but I wasn't deserving to be on either of these things. What position were you? I was a forward. Yeah, because you're small and quick. I was small, I was quick, but I was also, I was maybe 110 pounds when I was playing against kids

that were 175 pounds. I was going to say, hits haven't hurt. Oh my God, hurt? I broke my leg in two places, I broke my arm. My dad didn't care because he was making money. So this is the kind of selfishness that he would take with him, because he needed me to keep playing hockey for him to keep making money. So that was another one of hisness that he would take with him because he needed me to keep playing hockey

for him to keep making money. So that was another one of his schemes. That was after the payphone business. Jesus, how'd you break your leg? You got taken out? I got hit and this kid fell on my leg and my leg fucking snapped. Yeah, the pretzel sticks, I was saying.

Dude, it was brutal. I had a cast up to my fucking hip. It was just right in the beginning of high school too. My first month of high school, I broke my leg at a hockey tournament and the cast was up to my fucking hip. I had a cast on from October till January. It was brutal. So, and you start your freshman year like that, it's-

And the winter, because kids that grew up with winter school? I was home schooled for the first month and a half of high school too. You had teachers just come over my house and my parents were fighting at this time. So they saw how much of a mess my house was. Just my parents just fucking going at it. How old were you when the Marshalls burst in your house? I was... That was when I was 11.

So U.S. Marshalls burst my house, it was like 6 in the morning. My dad made me go downstairs. Cool! Yeah, it was for AT&T. I had no idea really what was going on outside of these guys taking boxes. But he made me come on down, he was for AT&T. I had no idea really what was going on outside of these guys taking boxes, but he made me come on down. He had an AT&T hat. So he made me put it on. No! I would go down and he made me say this. He goes, why are you taking my daddy's stuff? He wanted to make them feel bad for doing what they're doing. Whatever

that is. And you did say that. And I said it, yeah, because I was coach. So you're in contempt then? You were a participant. Yes. I had to give a deposition to during the. Yeah. I had to give a deposit because my dad would ended up winning. Not only did he win the court case because or basically they threw out the court case because the evidence he countersued them for losing the evidence. That's a genius. He is. So you fuck my dad over by filing a lawsuit against him and dragging him through court.

But when you lost the evidence, he said that there were valuable items that they took, such as autographs, medals that my grandfather received for being in World War II. So he sued them for loss of evidence? He sued them and then they paid him. It was something over, it was at the time, it was over a hundred grand that they had to pay out to my dad in a counter suit. How much money do you think your father earned doing all this shit? Truly. I couldn't even put a number on it because obviously inflation and all that stuff. But I would say that this is how he lived. So every and of course there's some legitimacy in his business as he was going on. So it's hard to defer from what was real and what was actually part of the scam.

I mean, it's got to be over a million dollars. This guy made. Yeah. I mean, he always he always had money. And then when it came time for the divorce he had no money of course Right, I'm not gone that money's all gone. It's in the walls. Yeah, it's so fascinating. It's to me. It's like Only because I know you Not super well, we know each other through friends so well and we have this like love and respect for each other, just because comics and our friends are close.

I would never have guessed that you lived such a crazy life, because you're a pretty balanced guy. I had to figure out how I wanted to live, because in the beginning when I was in high school, I would fuck around. I saw that you could get away with stuff. Part of what my dad's thinking was and if we talked about what were the good traits that I took from him, I also, the bad traits I realized was a lot of people don't want to go through the process of being like this guy did something bad or believe that this

guy would do something bad. If I was going to steal an exam, I would steal exams in high school and in college. I sold midterms in college, I sold a final exam in college. I figured out ways because you just have to figure out what these people didn't think. They're very trusting. In college they used to lay out exams in alphabetical order for a lecture hall. I was in another lecture hall later that day, so I'd go to the first lecture hall, take a random person's exam, and then I would have about two hours. I would give it to somebody to fill out the exam and get all the answers.

So it's all, yeah, ways to just think about how can I do something without actually having to do the work? I sold drugs. Part of the reason why I sold drugs was like, I was like, I could get away with it. I look innocent enough, I could figure out. You do. Yeah, so I figured, and I had hair back then,

so I was like, I was definitely very, very innocent. So I was like, I could, I could sell a hair back then, so I was definitely very innocent. So I was like, I could sell drugs, get away with it, because nobody would suspect me of being the one, and maybe that's a faulty way of thinking. No, but it seems like- Part of it is that you're young and that you feel that you could get away with everything

and that you don't care about consequences, but I realized my dad was able to get away with a lot of stuff because he didn't fear consequences, and I felt that, and didn't think that he would get caught of course I felt the same way especially when it came down to selling drugs, so I sold coke I sold coke is a big one. Yeah coke is a big one in high school in college Oh college, but I got as you like to do coke. I did but I never got crazy with it I was doing it like it sounds like a lot, but I was doing like twice a week

I never got crazy with it. I was doing it like, it sounds like a lot, but I was doing it like twice a week in college. I had a point. Like I could have been done it three, four, five times a week. But two, I had it on the weekends. On the weekends you were getting bumped up. Well, you know in college there's party nights that would be like a Tuesday or a Thursday. Every night of the week. Yeah, so I would do like two of those nights and but I would do it like a little bit. Other people would be going crazy, pounding on my door, trying to get me to give them Coke. Who's scary on Coke?

What do you turn into? Are you like the- I'm literally the same exact thing. Nothing? And that's part of why I was like, I don't need to do this. It had zero effect. Outside of my jaw going crazy.

Yeah, outside of chewing your teeth. And I would be up late at night when the sun came up. But I would never, my whole like tone, everything just is this. The same, because I always had guys in college that would do blow and I never did coke. Probably because that's my, was my father's thing. So I, I had friends that did it and I never did it.

And there was like one guy loved playing guitar. So he'd get ripped out of his fucking head and play guitar for people. So one night he was playing guitar. That's annoying. So dude, night he was playing it's our doing so dude And he was so aggressive with it and I walked in the room and he was yacked out of his mind playing guitar in his His his cuticles were bleeding because he was strumming so hard on the guitar There's blood on the fucking guitar the two other chicks were coked out of their mind to like keep going

I was like this is a fuck. This is my nightmare Take me to the weed room one thing you think and this is when I was in college this is a fuck, this is my nightmare. Take me to the weed room. One thing you think, and this is when I was in college, when I started doing coke, and I did it in high school too. I had a friend that was selling it. So that kind of got me very comfortable. I felt very mature that I did it before I even went to college.

Yeah. Took ecstasy and did a whole bunch of different drugs. But when I got to college and you see a bunch of people doing it, was kind of thinking and my friends too that everybody does this they just keep it hush right especially when you get in the the working world but that's not the case at all everybody is not doing coke the people are doing coke I have some real fucking problems and they're probably gonna have a heart attack at 35 well on the people that are doing coke are

supplementing people that aren't they're doing enough of it where it seems like everybody's doing it because you're like, man, there's so much coke. It's like 10 guys. You do not want to be around people on coke. It's very, it's gross. It's just the worst kind of drug for some reason. It brings out the most annoying version of people. Where alcohol does that too,

but because alcohol does bring out the worst in some people, but I feel like the coke brings out the worst in everybody. I don't think anybody's more cool on coke. No, it's just terrible. Just the jaw, the sniffling, the coke residue that you see in their schnoz. Also the money. The money seems like such a hilarious waste. Oh, and a lot of it, they're like, oh, this is bad coke. But they'll still do it. It's no matter what. They'll pay high price for the worst thing ever. It's terrible, but we have to do it. It's no matter what, they'll pay high price

for the worst thing ever. It's terrible, but we do, we have to do it. I mean, we do have it. People would accuse me of cutting the coke, and I never got into cutting it up and mixing things in. That's your dad's stuff. Yeah, yeah, that's my dad. My dad's actually what brought, he brought fentanyl.

So. Your dad's in the cartel too? Yeah, yeah. He actually had, what I was able to find, he had interesting interactions with people that were in the mafia. This guy, Vinny Palermo, who he was supposedly

the main person that Tony Soprano was based off of. So Vinny Palermo, he had a strip club that was in New York City. Badabing. Yeah, basically that's what Badabing, it was called Wiggles. So that's what Badabing was based off of. No shit.

And Wiggles was a place that was in Regal Park, Queens, and my dad had pay phones in this location and he would interact with Vinny. And this is according to one of my dad's workers, apparently my dad found the bug in Vinny Palermo's phone. And from then on, after my dad reported it back to Vinny, Vinny was like indebted to my father. This is from one of my dad's workers.

Now, whether, apparently this worker heard it from my dad, but he said that was a fact and this guy was very warm to your father every time he was coming in. Most likely my dad either lied about that interaction or he placed the bug in Vinnie's phone so he would be indebted to him going forward. So who knows?

Either way, genius. Yes, but so I followed up and I, in the podcast, I don't want to ruin everything, but in the podcast I do ask my father what the situation was and my dad responds to that. And you gotta hear it. Yeah. People gotta listen to the podcast.

I could ask you hours and hours of questions. Number one dad, that's what it's called. Number one dad, please listen to the podcast. I could ask you hours and hours of questions. Number one dad, please listen to the podcast. But also more importantly, you have a special that is out right now on YouTube. You guys all have YouTube, you're on it right now. If you're watching the show, please go watch his YouTube special.

We'll put the link in the description below. It's called, It Could Be Worse. Could Be Worse, and it could, honestly. Yes. Right, when you think about it. My life could be worse. Yeah. Everything could be worse.

Everything could be worse. That's a good way to look at life. You know, there's an old phrase, this too shall pass. You know that? I do think that often when you're bummed out or I'm fucked up about something, I'm like, this will change. This nothing is forever. That's impossible.

I mean, it's, it is what it is. Right. You know? I try and tell myself that too, cause you have these down moments where you're like, this sucks. I gotta get this, whether this thing didn't work out for me, but it's gonna go away.

Everything's gonna be fine. And then you'll be back up here. Now everybody's heightened version is different. Like this always stuck to me where somebody goes, when I'm normal, I'm at an eight, but when I'm down, I'm at a four. But some people, they are at a six always, and then they could go down to a one.

So everyone's different in how they react. I'm more like that one. You're that one? Oh, fuck. I'm more like a- You get really low. I can get dark. I mean, can I get that dark? I get dark, don't I? Yeah.

He just beats you? No, I have moments. My breaks now are, I want to be left totally alone. They're very quiet. Very quiet. We were very busy. I think you need some alone time at a certain point. Yes, but I had an emotional breakdown on the road and I wanted to be alone. In Dollywood. In Dolly World. In Dolly Part. Yeah, the most big emotional breakdown. While you were touring? Yeah, Bobby and I got into kind of a, what is it? A quarrel?

A quarrel, yeah, we got into a quarrel. By the way, use some big words on here, that was one I was able to get. Quarrel, yeah you got me. You know what's so funny? I was gonna say, we got into a tiff. I said Q but I thought tiff and I said I've gone too far. But quarrel was right, yeah. We got into a little bit of a confrontation. We were all living together. It was a lot. Just living together on the road and the bus and the stuff and Bobby and I's dynamic is, that's my best friend, but also like, you know, we were, we, the reason the show was successful is because we're polar opposites. We're very, very different. It's beautiful. I love, somebody has a clip going of Bad Friends,

obviously you've seen it, just like you guys going at it, and it's so, just the, when you guys are doing that, it's just unbelievable. It's so fun. But that's a real, that's real. That's what I think what people like is we love each other very much.

That's my brother. But also we fight like a brother. And I had a fucking emotional breakdown and I told everyone to kind of leave me the fuck alone. I didn't say anything mean. I didn't say- No, you didn't say anything. You just left.

I just left. I turned off my phone and I left. Like I think Andrew just killed himself. That would be a funny way to go. Well they did think because there was only one Uber in Pigeon Forge and we all take the same Uber to go to. Like, and I'm not exaggerating. There's one guy that drives Uber,

that drives an SUV that could take us all. And I asked him where a local airport was because I was going to fly home to Chicago to see my parents because we had a break. Yeah. And. It was the same guy that picked us up in the morning. Right. So he relayed that information to them so then they thought

your friend earlier well I turned off my phone but where was I did you learn yeah so they're like we had your friend earlier and we were like oh he was our friend like as a joke yeah like yeah no he was asking about where the airport was earlier yeah holy fuck and he still wasn't picking up his phone yeah I turn off my phone but he was at Dave and Buster's well I know I started at Margaritaville yeah yeah I went got, I started at Margaritaville. Yeah. Yeah, I went and got blacked out at Margaritaville.

Then I went and played video games with David Buster. I go to Dave and Buster's now with my kid, man. It's great. Yeah. I had a day. I just sat at Margaritaville. I bought a bunch of people drinks and dinners. I literally just bought the bar.

I was just like, I need to just escape and feel something else. And how did that make you feel? You felt better after? Phenomenal. Phenomenal. I had a great night Because I just, I sat at the bar, I chatted some people up, a young couple that just got married, I bought their tab.

Then this other couple, I bought them a bunch of drinks, these young guys. I don't know, it felt good. It's so funny. My depression is like, if I do for other people, it'll make me feel better.

That's good. I just want to be left alone, let me go have my little moment. So I got a little drunk, and then I went and played video games at Dave and Buster's, had a blast. Do you ever feel, I feel I mean obviously you don't seem like somebody that has a lot of those moments So how often do you think you do have this? I don't know how many I mean you've only seen it once I guess in that game

I mean that was a big one, but there's some days where you're just like more You're tired, and you don't want to talk about not like tired like you're yeah sleep because you have to be on a lot and that's I don't want to talk about, not like tired like you're asleep. But you're just tired of shit. Well, because you have to be on a lot. And that's part of this business is that you go, you're on a plane, you're exhausted, now you have to work. It's a little, there's times where it gets old.

What are you doing? I got a bloody nose. Are you all right? I sold him coke before. Bloody nose. Yeah, for my coke. This kid, I gotta fire this kid. Yeah, his dirty pants.

Yeah, his dirty pants and bloody nose. But I have the moments pretty rarely but when I do it's I need a break. We need a break. I think the older I get the more we need to learn to take care of ourselves a little bit better just because it's gonna it'll catch up to you dude. I've talked about this twice already but I watched that Charlie Trotter documentary about that chef from Chicago and he basically you know his body met his demise because he overworked himself to death. The guy worked himself to death basically. And you know that joke it's like that's a phrase, you work yourself to death. You really can. You can give yourself cancer for sure.

Somebody always, there are a few things,. This is a marathon. It's not a not a sprint Yeah, so you're trying to just go just just take your time Obviously you want success you want things to work out But you just have to be patient both at the same time think about dying all the time all the time And during a marathon there are moments where you run a little faster right a guy just died in one of those like tough mudder things Yeah, I get that yeah. Yeah, what are you doing? What do you don't should never training for the fucking army? What do you I hosted one of those one time and they were like, would you ever want to do one?

I was like why yeah, yeah I saw then there was a clip of I don't know if it was from this one But they were under like a fence and it's a mud barbed wire. Yeah barbed wire and they're trying to breathe What in when do you even if you were if this happened again in life Where you needed to be prepared for this you're gonna think back No, you're gonna be it's not gonna be set up like this where they're trying for you not to die It's gonna really want you to die in whatever scenario you're in yeah And you will die and the future of war is not gonna be hand-to-hand combat by the way

It's all gonna be tech combat so yeah In a room with a gallon of Mountain Dew trying to figure out how to attack the enemy. I've done stuff with the US, whatever, like the armed forces for shows, and they show you the drone, like the room. And there's one guy, just the fucking guy with glasses eating a Twinkie, and he's just like a finger away from pushing a button that could just fucking blow up the world. It's crazy. Well, it's nice to know that it's over soon. You know what I mean? We're out of here.

And your kids are, your kids are the next up and they'll screw it up too. Yeah, well, my kid's finger is up his ass. That's all we know. Smell this. Please watch, please watch a special. Listen to the podcast. The links will be below.

I appreciate you coming. I really love you, brother. And we end the show the same way. Look in that camera and you say one word or one phrase to end the episode. One word or a phrase to end the episode. Man. I know. It's tough. It hits people. Our good friend Alonzo Bowden. The end. No. I'll just say yeah. Alonzo Bowden. How about

that? That's perfect. In here we pour whiskey. Whiskey. Whiskey. Whiskey. Whiskey. Oh that creature in the ginger beard. Sturdy. Sturdy. Sturdy. Sturdy. Sturdy. Sturdy. That's perfect.