Whiskey Ginger with Andrew Santino - Girls Gotta Eat

Episode Date: October 7, 2022

Santino sits down with the Girls Gotta Eat, Rayna Greenberg and Ashley Hesseltine, to talk about their sex toy line, guys who peed on them, Ashley and her almost fling with a stud from "The Bachelor", and much much more! Strap In! #girlsgottaeat #andrewsantino #whiskeyginger #podcast COME SEE ME ON TOUR!!! https://www.andrewsantino.com ORDER SOME MERCH!!! https://www.andrewsantinostore.com Join our Patreon : https://www.patreon.com/whiskeygingerpodcast ============================================================================== SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS! RABBIT HOLE $5 OFF with Promo Code: WHISKEY https://rabbitholedistillery.com/drizly SQUARE SPACE Get that site up and running now! 10% off your order https://squarespace.com/whiskey ROMAN Get your T up dudes and $15 off your first month and FREE SHIPPING https://getroman.com/whiskey FACTOR Get $60 OFF YOUR ORDER! https://go.factor75.com/whiskey60 SIMPLISAFE Get that house secured 20% off entire system and first month FREE https://simplisafe.com/whiskey Follow Santino on Insta and Twitter: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ https://twitter.com/CheetoSantino Whiskey Ginger Insta and Twitter: https://www.instagram.com/whiskeygingerpodcast/ & https://twitter.com/whiskeyginger_ Whiskey Ginger Clips: http://www.youtube.com/c/WhiskeyGingerPodcastClips Produced and edited by Joe Faria IG: @itsjoefaria Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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We got a good one for you today. The girls gotta eat. Girls are here. They're in the house. Ash Hess, Raina Greenberg. Very funny. They're running around the country doing their thing, doing that live podcast everywhere.

And guess what? I'm kicking in with a little Boston accent because I'm playing Boston. New Year's Eve tickets are available right now, baby. Go get them, andrewsantino.com. andrewsantino.com is where you get these tickets to see me on New Year's Eve in Boston. Come party. Come celebrate with me. Let's blow out 2022 and blow up 2023. AndrewSantino.com. AndrewSantino.com. Come see your boy for New Year's Eve in Boston. Enough rambling from me. Let's go to the episode.

for New Year's Eve in Boston. Enough rambling from me. Let's go to the episode. In here, we pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey. You are that creature in the ginger beard. Sturdy and ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are pugilist. You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse. Gingers are hell no.

This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Whiskey Junior. My guests today are some of my favorite people on earth. I say that for all my guests, but I mean it once again today. It is the infamous Girls Gotta Eat Girls. That is, of course, Ash Hess, as she's known online.

And Raina Greenberg. You guys. Infamous. Yeah, you are infamous. I guess that'sberg. You guys. Infamous. Yeah, you are infamous. I guess that's fine. You think you're not? I thought that we were one of your favorite people. Greenberg is Jewish?

Huge Jew. Get out! Huge Jew. What if I kicked you out just because, Heseltine? That's fine, I've done a lot of stuff today.

Heseltine. People don't know what to think. Because they're like, is that Jewish? No, no, you're white supremacy for sure. It does sound pure. Pure as the driven snow.

It's not Steen or Stein or Berg. Hassell Steinberg is what we do. Hassell Steinmanstein would be good. The Girls Gotta Eat girls are here. They don't have to eat because I just made them put down their food in the hallway. They brought salads like unprofessional scumbags. We stay on brand. You're drinking whiskey and we eat.

And that's how we do it. Well, I'm drinking a smoothie right now because Daddy's trying to thin up because I'm shooting right now. I was thinking you do look thinner. I meant to tell you that. I'll give you a kiss live on this show. I would. I have been hitting on you since I walked in. Yeah, you have.

It's a lot. No, no, it's actually. I'm really horny. You know what it is? It's outrageous how horny I am. It's exactly what it was in Cancun. Where were we? Cancun?

In Cancun. You were hornballed in Cancun. I think it's you. It's me. It's me. It's me. It's not. She wasn't horny an hour ago. Yeah, that's true.

And also, no shade to your wife because I suggested a threesome. Like, I would like to include her. But I called and she just. Here's the problem. You just got your tits done the second time. You said that. Great, yeah. But so I don't want to.

We don't want to hurt them. They're fresh still. They're ready. They're ready to be hurt. How many. What is the downtime of when you get a tit. Two tit reductions, right? Two tit reductions How many, what is the downtime of when you get a tit, two tit reductions, right? Two tit reductions, yes. What's the downtime of that?

It's not like an implant where they like separate the muscles from the bone. You can't use your arms and stuff. Like you get up after the surgery, you can like wipe your ass. You're fine. Everybody is like different. I was like up walking around the next day. Fine. Wait, and no pain?

Yeah, pain. But like I took a Tylenol the first two days and then no painkillers after that. I don't like painkillers, they make me constipated and itchy. So I took some Tylenol. I have like a crazy high

pain threshold. I don't feel pain that much. Punch her in the face. We do that in private. Hit her in the fucking face, dude. She fingers me while she does it though. When you said constipated,

my immediate thought is most women I know do have a little bit of constipate going on in general. Constipate? Yeah, because most women don't. You don't poop. How many times a day do you guys poop? I'm really regular. I like to eat a lot of fiber.

Fuck yeah. It's really important to me. Because I know some girls that poop like once every two or three days. That's crazy. I poop first thing in the morning. I drop a big one off. And then maybe sometimes in the afternoon as well. But at least once a day.

And you're more reserved. I hate being irregular. It's like stresses me out. Yeah. So I have to like figure that out. But I had a high fiber diet. When you guys travel for shows? Now we're so used to it.

I feel like when I didn't travel as much, anytime going really far overseas, you get constipated. But it doesn't have to do with like the altitude and the plane. I don't know. I don't have any problems these days. I'm like I'm healthier than I used to know. I don't have any problems these days. I'm healthier than I used to be. You look great.

Thank you. Yeah, you both look great. Relax. I saw her fucking face the moment I said you look great. I knew that was going to be like a whole, there was like a mental mind game she was about to play. I don't care. How good does she look?

Ashley and I don't have this jealousy thing, like which one's prettier. Lie. We are never into the same person. You guys definitely have a thing, a competition whether you know it or not okay, so here's the thing though We just look so different like yeah, like it's very it's not who's prettier. I know but something oh Yeah, everybody with their best friend you guys are best friends. I imagine I don't feel like that I don't really I mean I don't know that I am about other stuff a little more naturally competitive than Reina in general. Who's funnier?

Damn, Andrew. Oh, was this weird? Because that's what I mean. Everybody has this. Well, Ashley's also a standard comedian, so I don't write bits and get unstaged. Oh, so it's you for sure. I'm kidding.

See what I mean? You see what I mean? Yeah, we'll take that. That's fine with me. Who gets pissed on more? You talked about piss before the show. Oh, the most frequently? Mm-hmm.

I have never been peed on in, like, a kink way, but I did, in high school, I went to this, like, party. This girl's parents were out of town, and I woke up the next, woke up in the middle of the night or 6 a.m., whatever, and I was, like, so wet. And I'd been sleeping on the couch with this guy, Joe.

Joe? How is it we both got peed on by a Joe in college? Wait, I just realized that his name was Joe. That is crazy, Ashley. So I moved and slept somewhere else. A bunch of people just crashed all over the house. And the next morning, I was like, you guys, Joe peed on me in the middle of the night. And when you're in high school, and this was like, you know, a while back, people were like, oh, my God, that's insane. Like, that's the craziest thing you ever heard of back in, you know, Y2K.

And he, we all were dying about it all day. The girls were just like hung over in our pajamas, and he called the landline. And it's like he knew, and he called the landline and asked to speak to my friend who had the party. Her name was Abby. And he was like, hey, I think I maybe spilled a beer on the couch last night or something.

Like, he tried. No, you're a liar. No, that's not a beer, bud. You're a liar. He called the house to talk about it? Like, why didn't he say nothing? I think he realized, like, I pissed on this girl and on the couch, and I'm covered in my own piss.

And so he, you know, you're just a young kid. You think, like, let me call and try to cover it up. So I'm not known in school as, like, Piss Joe. But he is now. Yeah. Shout out to Piss Joe wherever you are. He's listening to this just polishing a gun like, this is it for me. I never pissed. i've never pissed

the bed drunk uh ever i've only i've spit in my sleep and woke up with spit on my pillow is it just drool no it was like i'm sure it was the i'm sure it was the the precursor to throwing up like i was i was drunk you know what i mean in the middle of the night and i must have been like and spit you know what i mean but i woke up and spit was on my pillow. But I've never puked in the night. I've never pissed in the night. I've never had a wet dream. Wow.

I've never cum. You're an icon. You don't talk about this enough. I just don't believe that. I just don't know. I mean, I've been like, I've woken up like insanely hard where it's painful almost.

Where I was having sex dreams and humping the bed. But I've never woken up, had ejaculated in my, I've never had nocturnal ejaculation. Is that happening now? I'm so curious. Because I've woken up like-

Many men have nocturnal ejaculation. But I'm like, I just want to know, is it one of those things that is actually less common and we think it's more common? I don't know. I mean, I don't know. I would say half of my friends I know have said that they've had a real wet dream.

And the other half are like, no. I've had sex dreams, but yeah, not wet dreams. They're waking up and cumming on themselves? Like, having cum? Yeah, you wake up and you cum. It's called nocturnal ejaculation. Well, I'm asking because I've woken up on the brink of having an orgasm, and I'll finish myself off and go right back to sleep.

Like, having a sex dream. Yeah, no, no. This is different. No, no, no. You don't know what a wet dream is? No. I'm not waking up soaking my pants. No, but, no, this is, no, no, no. You don't know what a wet dream is? I'm not waking up to like soaking my pants.

No, but I'm like, usually it happens to boys in puberty. Yeah, of course. Like kids wake up and they're like, mommy. I guess not kids, like 11 year olds.

Yeah, or like what happened? Yeah, like anyone, like you could, I would say all the way up to, because your horn factor when you're 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, I mean, and it continues, but at that nugget of time is, it's repulsed, it's like, 16, 17. I mean, and it continues, but at that nugget of time,

it's repulsed. It's gross. It's disgusting. I don't know how my friends who have sons, I'm like, what? They just, those kids, those boys just come all over the place, and they have to just deal with it. I just, I grew up, we both have one brother, and I just didn't, there was never anything about

cum growing up. I'm so glad I was shielded from any sort of... Well, yeah, you didn't. growing up. I'm so glad I was, like, shielded from any sort of. Well, yeah, you didn't. It's like me and my sister. It was like, you're, the mom and dad have to deal with it. I know, but, like, you'd think you'd have, like, a sense that it was being dealt with or something in the home. Only one time my father embarrassed me at the dinner table when I knew that they knew I was jerking off. At the dinner table you were jerking off?

Yeah, like, I was jerking off. Well, yeah, I were jerking off? Yeah, like, I was jerking off. Well, yeah, I mean, when my mom makes burnt chicken, it's, like, my favorite thing in the world, so I just have to. No, my dad brought it up at dinner, and I was so angry, and I just was so embarrassed because I had just gotten into jerking off, and they knew because you're all, you know, and he said, in the middle of, like, eating peas. How did they know?

Well, because dads know, dude. And they see stuff, like tissues and lotions and stiff socks. Yeah, and he had said he was, like, eating peas or something, like, know, dude. And they see stuff like tissues and lotions. Yeah, and he had said he was like eating peas or something like gross like that. And he was like, we haven't spent a lot of time in the bathroom. And my mom was like, hey. And I was like, they've been talking about it? It like ruined my life. It ruined my fucking life.

Dude, for days I didn't jerk off. And back then, you're jerking off every single day. So it fucked me up thinking, I guess I should never do this ever again and jokes on you mom and dad still doing it are your parents funny my mom is very very funny like i think it'd be so hard to be a parent that it's funny that a comedian whatever and not fucking make fun of your kids all the time oh they do my mom but it's got to be so traumatic i don't know maybe i think it shapes them a little bit it makes you a little that's why so traumatic. I don't know. Maybe, I think it shapes that a little bit. It makes you a little, that's why my sense of humor is dark or crass.

Right. Because it makes you a little bit more apt for the world. Oh, 100%. You know when you tell someone something and they do like a 1920s,

like they're clutching your pearls. Like, what fucking world are you from? And they're like, oh, I don't, that's, I don't know. And you're like,

you were never shaped with reality of comedy as a kid. Yeah. Because you're like, I'm kidding. And they're like, you were never shaped with reality of comedy as a kid. Because you're like, I'm kidding. And they're like, I have a friend who's got somebody new in their life, a person of their interest. And everything goes over her head.

And it's obvious that like. Do you say stuff around her? She's not insulted. It's just she doesn't really get that it's like a joke. Yeah, but also it's almost like she's like oh what it's like she's figuring out if she's upset by it or if it's gross or you know what i mean where well i'm gonna go get the sex toy that we ubered over here for you oh you did that's why she's been on her phone by the way so wait hold on wait till she leaves completely hold ready close close the door please thank you finally my god why would you

bring her to the show i texted you and. Why would you bring her to the show? I texted you and I said, do not bring her to the fucking show. I know. She thought it was both of us. No, it's not. No, it's Girl Gotta Eat. It was singular. It wasn't plural.

What are you guys doing in LA? We just came to do some podcasts. I'm doing shows. Where are you performing? Improv, Laugh Factory. Oh, like local shows. You guys aren't doing like a... You guys aren't doing...

Yeah, just... And you're not doing anything together in LA? We are. I mean, just podcasts. No, like local shows. You guys aren't doing like a... You guys aren't doing... Yeah, just... And you're not doing anything together in LA? We are. I mean, just podcasts. No, I mean a live show. No. Are you guys doing live shows right now? We are going to do a holiday show

at the end of the year, just as our tradition, but we just kind of pushed everything to 2023. Why? I mean, we did a bunch this year, like the first half of the year, and then we had some shows scheduled. We just kind of felt like we didn't plan it totally correctly.

Like we had some factors come up with some different venues and things were just seeming harder than they should be. And we were like, let's just actually do a tour like everyone else does and like list all of the dates, plan the year, have a fucking tour poster for once. Like we just always have been a little scattered with it. And we wanted, I don't know. Like, I don't know how you feel about people coming out right now. Like, are you just doing fine? As gay? What do you mean?

Coming out to shows. I mean, I'm supportive of LGBTQ+. I don't know about you guys, but that's like something that I've always been supportive of, for the record. What do you mean? People coming out to shows like, because of COVID? No, just in general, like the state of the world. Like, do you mean people coming out to shows yeah like like because of covid no just

in general like the state of the world like do you feel like it's i feel i mean i'm you know when this is out i have i will have just shot my special so yeah i'm stoked about it no no i think i think i know what you're saying which is like um is the is the world of comedy uh a place that you want to be out touring right now because of everything? Is that what you mean? No, I mean, we just kind of, I mean, ultimately it was just we had some hiccups with some dates. And then we just ultimately decided to push everything to 2023, do like a full-blown tour, plan it through the whole year. I did do a stand-up tour of my own.

That wasn't one of the reasons. But, you know, it's just to juggle both. But, yeah, I mean, we just, we were on tour until June. So it was kind of like we did the first half of the year and then now we're just going to restart up again in 2023 with the exception of we are doing a holiday show in New York, which we haven't announced, but I'm telling you guys. Well, it's going to be announced at some point.

Soon. It'll be around some point. People anticipate it. You guys, okay, a few things. Both, are you healthy? Well, are you healthy, wealthy, wise people? Like you don't drink alcohol and do drugs and any of that stuff or what? Well, I'm on antibiotics.

I told you. You can, can you have something? Do you, if you don't, you do not have to have anything. I'm okay right now. Okay, good. Thank you. That's fine. I have to offer because we're in the layer.

Are you going to have something? I won't have it alone. Okay. I'll have a little. Don't do that. Let's test it. No, no, no. Why?

Because then you got to go back. You're never going to get rid of that UTI if you keep doing this. It's so much deeper than that. No, I'm just kidding. What did you get antibiotics for? You know what we could do? We could mix it with some vitamin water and then it's healthy.

You guys, there's no need to fucking peer pressure yourself into drinking. I just always offer it because it's a polite thing to do on this show. There's many people. Most of my friends are sober. I didn't want to let you down. Oh, well then that's fine.

Have you ever met any comics? They're all sober. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I dated one. Everyone ruined their life. Do you want to talk about it? Do I want to talk about it? Yeah, no. Well, don't bring it up if you don't want to say it. I'll talk about it their life do you want to talk about it do I want to talk about it yeah no

well don't bring it up if you don't want to say it I'll talk about it what do you want to hear who was it who'd you date oh don't say the name I'm not going to do that

no because I don't want to embarrass myself yeah alright so for a while you were with Artie Lang and she that was wild

and no one knew about it it was quiet why are you on antibiotics so I had a, um, cyst situation. Go on. In my, on my tailbone. Um. Cyst on your tailbone. It's on my butt, in my butt, kinda. Not inside. It's close to the crack. And it got. I see it now. It's like, it got in. This is a very common thing. Oh, right. I hear about it all the time.

I mean, it's just the same as like an ingrown hair type of situation, but it's in your butt crack, so it's like hard to treat. What really happened? That's really a bad thing. I had to go to the pharmacy for her. How did you get the cyst? It's like, okay, I'll tell you how I think I got it. Yeah.

So. That's what I really want to know. It's not that. It's gross, but it's like not controversial. It's just like bacteria or hair. And I was in Delaware for two weeks, and I did a lot of beach, hot yoga, bike riding. So just a lot of friction, sweat, double time of bike riding than I normally would. You're a big biker?

I loved to bike. A Peloton or a real bike? Both. You guys, because you live in the city or no? I mean, I have a Peloton, but I love to bike around. Like, my brother, he lives at the beach. I take his bike out every day. I ride to yoga, ride to the beach, you know, ride around, go shopping.

Like, it's like a dream. You kind of, honestly, I don't take any offense to this. I don't even know what it means. You look like a bike girl. I mean, I'll take- Like, I see you on a bike. I go, yeah, that girl bikes. Thank you. I feel like that's not like a horse girl. Like, maybe it's like we have our horse girls and bike girl. I mean, I'll take... Like, I see you on a bike, I go, yeah, that girl bikes. Thank you.

I feel like that's not, like, a horse girl. Like, maybe it's like we have our horse girls and bike girls. We do have horse girls. Do you like horses as well, you guys?

No, I just feel like it sounded the way you said it was like the way you'd say something in a horse girl. I like horses. There's nothing wrong with them. I haven't ridden one in a long time.

I ride a bike, but I usually ride a bike. I always, 100% of the time, ride a stationary bike inside because I don't know how to ride a bike outside. You don't know how to ride a bike as in you because I don't know how to ride a bike outside. You don't know how to ride a bike as in you're – Don't know how to ride a bike.

You were never taught how to ride a bicycle? I was taught. I have a brother. I have three stepbrothers. And you can't do it. I can't do it. I tried it in – I was like this – I can't – it's crazy. I don't have the skill that four-year-olds have.

Like it's crazy that I have not mastered this. I don't know if it's a skill as much as it is just regular mechanics of – Can't do it. So I was in Miami and I was like I'm going to do this today. I'm going to figure out how to ride a bike. This is crazy. I don't know how to do this. I don't know if it's a skill as much as it is just regular mechanics of... Can't do it. So I was in Miami and I was like, I'm gonna do this today. I'm gonna figure out how to ride a bike. This is crazy. I don't know how to do this. And so I decided to do it in the Miami boardwalk. And so I got a bike with a friend and I was riding and I was killing it.

I was like, I got this. There was all these people coming towards us like a family. And I was like, do not turn the handlebars. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. And as right as they got towards me, I just jerked the handlebars. I wiped out this whole family. I wiped out this like whole family. I went flying. I'm bleeding.

So you had a traumatic experience. This is like a couple years ago though. Well. But I'm saying a traumatic like, yeah, it's still like you're not going back to that. No. And then this guy ran over to me. He was like, oh my God. He was like screaming.

He was like, is the bike okay? Was it okay? That's what I thought about. The bike was fine. I rented the bike. I know. I don't want to fuck up the bike because I have to pay for it, and I'll never ride one again. So that was the only time I rode a bike in my adult life.

I can't do it. So do you scoff at city bikes when you walk by them? I'm jealous of it. I feel like I love being outside. I feel really cool when I'm riding around on a city bike. No one loves to walk and be outside more. You feel better than her? No, I feel cool.

I didn't start city biking until I got back in the city from like quarantine COVID. Cause I always felt a little intimidated to like bike around Manhattan when it's super traffic-y. So came back in the summer and then was like, I'm going to start doing this cause it's really empty. The streets are empty. So it was like a good time to start practicing. I got an annual membership and now it's just like, I feel like one of those people.

How much does that cost? $169. $200 for this Friday. As much as you want all the time forever? The year. That's what I'm saying, for a whole year. You could use it all day, every day. Every day, all day, every day.

City bike. What is city getting out of this? Branding. The branding. Yeah, but I say city bike, and only if you really talk about it do people remember that that's a bank. But in New York, it's on every corner, and it says it. But what are they really getting out of it? Because I don't look at that bike and think, like, I want to switch banks.

Never. Yeah, that's so true you never thought about your finances when you're taking you're never like you know what i'm not like i want to rehome my money subliminal advertising i do understand how it works i mean to get city bank i mean to get like the branding on that like i would love to have like girls gotta eat bike and just it's on every corner in new york city let's get something else for you guys girls gotta eat what not a bike but something else. Sex toys. We brought you one. You got me one? That's what I went out to the Uber for. Well, give it to me then. What are you fucking waiting for? I was going to package this really nicely

for you. No, no, no. I'm a guy. So I just took the entire thing of tissue. So funny. It's more for, I mean, for you and your wife. Yeah. Thank you. Why does she have to get it? Just because I want it. You don't have to give it to her. You can use it. Well, there's two things in there for you. Oh, so, well, let's open one at a time. Okay.

While we chat. Manhattan, by the way, are you both living in the city or no? Yes, we are. You're never going to catch me on a fucking city bike. I'll say that right now and you can timestamp it. I'll never be on a bike in that city. Really? Two reasons.

One, I love walking. I'm obsessed. I'm probably the only, I'm like one of seven people that walk in Los Angeles. We feel so out of place because we're walking everywhere. Well, the city's big, too. But, I mean, when you live, like people that walk in Los Angeles. We feel so out of place because we're walking everywhere. Well, the city's big, too. But, I mean, when you live, like, in WeHo or something, we all walk everywhere. So I've been walking, like, home from spots, and then, like, I'm like, is this dangerous? I don't know.

No, no, no. You're in West Hollywood, right? Yeah. No, you're fine. You're fine. It just feels kind of empty. West Hollywood is our, that's our, like, cute little village. Look, it's as safe as the villages, where you're like, it's safe-ish.

You probably shouldn't. After like midnight. Well, no, it's not even a time thing. I think it's more like you're better off with a friend or a partner.

A. Yeah. Always. Hey, I'm sorry. That's terrible sexist the world that we live in. I'm five feet tall.

You could tackle me in two seconds. Can you imagine how easy you'd be to like just attack and steal? I think about it all the time. Someone could just throw you in any car and run away with you. I know. I feel like I'm bigger and I walk with like purpose.

Like I like just beef up. See, right? I'm not going to try to steal you. I see you and I go, that's a lot of work. People can steal me in a heartbeat. I walk with purpose. I see you. I can throw you in the basket on a city bike and ching-ching, I can ride away.

I'm not going to fit in your trunk. People look at me and they're like, the amount of positions I could do with that one. I was just going to say, just to use you for, use you for regular stuff like cleaning the house or something like that. Just chores. I go, look at that girl can do chores for me. I cannot clean at all. So joke's on you if you kidnap me. Okay, so here we go.

Vibes only. This is your sex toy. By the way, I've seen this on the internet. I've seen you guys promote your sex toy on the internet. Ooh, and big, big, by the way, big fan of this. Us too. Huge fan of a magnetic clasp. Every box should have this.

Oh, my God. We tested it out. Anytime I get like a gift. This usually comes in like gifts from like sponsorship shit that somebody sends me. And I got one of these. Like a Nike box had this. And I was like, oh, every time. That's nice.

We tested a bunch of boxes. It's satisfying. Oh, did you really? Yeah, of course. Did anybody test your box while you were doing it? Probably. You did using vibes only. This is a plug for you.

We've had to do a lot of R&D. What's your vibe is what you say. Now, what's this one called? The Hest? The Ashley. I guessed it. Didn't you see? I literally said the Hest.

It's bigger. It's big. Well, you need it. You need yourself a thicky-thicky. You can handle all sizes. If you have a large surface area on your vagina, that's perfect. You're saying you have a big clit? I don't have a big clit, but I mean, I just naturally have a bigger vagina than Raina.

And I have a long butt crack. What do you mean? I wouldn't assume that. I wouldn't look at you both and go, I bet you her puss is bigger than hers. It's maybe a longer butt crack, for sure. I would say they're different colors, just by your skin tone, but I wouldn't think about size. I have consistent coloring throughout. Raina says her vagina's puffy. Yeah, the lips, they're puffy. It's nice. Mine changes by the day.

People pay big money for that. Have puffy lips? Well, because you ever seen a pump puffer? You ever seen those things? That's not a thing. That doesn't exist. 100% look it up on the internet. If somebody has a sex toy, you should know. I did not know this. My boyfriend when I was 21 called me chubby vag. Oh, what a sweetheart. It's nice. Chubby vag.

By the way, this is not charged. Because I was going to use it live on the show. Well, let me see. Well, if that's the power button. To hold it down a little longer. There it is. There you go. Yeah. You hear that at home?

That's the kind of sensation you're going to get. That's good. That's good speed. This is your mic now. And you can, yeah. And you can speed it up. And then we have an app that pairs with it. So it pairs to Bluetooth to the app.

And it listens to your podcast while you're masturbating? And then you masturbate to the podcast. We actually have your episodes on there. So funny. Good pairs to Bluetooth to the app. And it listens to your podcast while you're masturbating? And you masturbate to the podcast. We actually have your episodes on there. So funny. Good. Because I'm the best. But there's erotic audio content. So they go with the stories.

So they actually connect and pulse along with the story. So when the story starts out slow, it starts out slow. Do you guys narrate it? No, we have like all, you know, voiceover actors in a whole like production situation. Wait, go in the bag because there's one more thing that's also for you specifically. Well, also for your wife's enjoyment, but. Blow gel. Oh, right.

Mango, this is flavored. So I spritz this on my wiener. Yes. And then. It'll be a nice experience for her. And then she sucks it. It tastes good. Yeah.

It's funny to think I've always pictured the person who's about to. And it's fully edible. Who's about to give the blow jobs putting it on there. But it's funny if the guy does it himself.

He's like, get ready. He just drops. It's nice, right? That is actually very good. We tested a bunch of flavors and that is good. So we narrowed it down to two and I sucked a dick

with both of them and that's how we picked and the mango by far my favorite. Did you do that in front of like a board like the company? You were like,

bring in some cock and you guys were just sucking and all these stuffy executives in suits were like, great, how does it taste? So this is wonderful. So you had to do some field research

and you found out that mango tasted the best for you. For me. We'll be talking calorie count on here, girls. I think it's zero. Oh, God. Less than 15. Well, you're also not supposed to ingest it. You're not supposed to ingest it.

Oh, because I just swallowed some. You can do that, but you're not supposed to eat it as food. It's not a food product. Correct. But it is fine to eat. I hope so because I'm sucking and swallowing. I just ate some. You can do that, but you're not supposed to eat it as food. It's not a food product. Correct. But it is fine to eat. I hope so, because I'm sucking and swallowing. I just ate some. Just don't dump the whole bottle in your mouth. You might get tummy ache.

Yeah, that's fine. It's not to be ingested in large quantities. Oh, it says right on here, please do not eat. Do not take a little dab on your finger and taste it in front of the women that created it. That's how Andrew died. You're gonna be fine. Well, thank you guys so much for giving me this, and also, this will be very great, because, you know, sometimes I'm gone. In here, we pour whiskey.

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Or sometimes, you know, we just need to use a toy. I think it's fine to use a toy while somebody watches. I think it's, like, really fun to, like, Sometimes I'm gone. You are, exactly. Or sometimes, you know, we just need to use a toy. I think it's fun to use a toy while somebody watches. I think it's, like, really fun to, like, put on a show. And I think that the Ashley wand is really great for that because you just have, like, more range of motion. Where's the Reina? It sold out twice, and it is... Oh, someone's product's better.

A million percent. I don't like their product. What is yours? So it has, like like a little hole. It's a double motor vibrator, the top of it. The bottom has just a vibrator, and the top has a little hole where you stick your clit in it. It's sort of like an air pulse.

It feels like it's sucking on your clit sucker. So it's got a vibrator clit sucker, and you can bend it and go inside you. So it really does it all. Oh. People have consistently said they squirted for the first time with it. Mine has rose gold on it. Oh, that's...

You're like the iPhone. It comes in rose gold. You're like, okay, well, I guess I'll get that one. That's all you have left. That's all I got. No, but you know what?

It's not a competition, but it is, 100%. No, it really is. It really is. And you know that they told you they were like, you know you're a sold way more. It was unbelievable.

Oh, we know. It's not even close. But who cares? You're paired together. You're partners at this endeavor. It doesn't matter. Yeah. And I will say the blow gel was my favorite product that we sell, and the lube is her

favorite product, and the lube outsells the blow gel. See? Great. Spit or swallow? Depends on the moment. I don't want to do either one all the time. I would say spit 80% of the time. Same, same.

Unless if we're in a car, I'll swallow. If I'm giving road, I don't swallow. That's a good rule. You can't go, pull over. And if you spit it out the window, it's going to get on the door. You spit it in a Snapple bottle. What if you spit it

and it just came right back in your face? I can't risk it. By the way, that could be a great Snapple commercial. That would be the best Snapple commercial. You're just like kind of leaning over, and then you read the fun fact. Snapple. Oh, babe, did you know that penguins mate with one person forever?

Yeah. With one penguin forever? We just found out penguins are necrophiliacs. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, they'll fuck a dead penguin. Oh, no. I was upset. I don't like hearing stuff about animals.

Why? That's nature, dog. Like when people were like DMing me like koalas have chlamydia, I was fuck a dead penguin. Oh, no. I was upset. I don't like hearing stuff about animals. Why? That's nature, dog. Like, when people were, like, DMing me, like, koalas have chlamydia, I was like, just stop. I don't need. That whole thing is, by the way, koalas have chlamydia the same way humans have herpes. It exists, but it doesn't mean everybody has it. No, I think it's pretty. I think it's more common in koalas than herpes is in people.

I'm a big activist. You really, you got a lot of koala friends out there? I am a koala activist. She follows all the koala influencers. I'm a big activist. You really, you got a lot of koala friends out there? I am a koala activist. She follows all the koala influencers. We did a fundraiser after the wildfires. How much money

did you guys make for koalas? Like 20 grand. That's really good for a koala. We did a comedy show. We gave it to the World Wildlife.

I mean, it was other animals too. We weren't like, hey, just strictly reserve this for the koalas. We did a comedy show. It was great. Nikki Glaser did, was there, just strictly reserve this for the koalas. We did a comedy show.

It was great. Nikki Glaser did. Was there a franchise? Did you guys have jokes? Do you have jokes about koalas? I did. Oh, you know what my joke was? It wasn't like. Hit me with one.

The jokes when I opened those shows were that like we are doing all this for the koalas and the koalas are like, we don't know her. Like we don't, like what does she, we don't, we don't care. Who is this bitch? Yeah, so. But I don't think I have any koalas are like, we don't know her. Like, we don't, like, what does she, we don't, we don't care. Who is this bitch? Yeah, so. But I don't think I have any other jokes. I mean, we.

The bike girl? The bike girl gave us this money? The horse girl? Yeah, I mean. Are you a horse kid? You've said that twice. No, no, no. It's just, it's funny

because it's bike girl. Like, in my head, I hear horse girl, but I know that they're different. You can reject whatever you want, but I said bike twice. I actually can be like butt crack cyst girl. Well, the cyst, cystic crack girl is probably where it's bike girl. Like in my head, I hear horse girl, but I know that they're different. You can reject whatever you want, but I said bike twice. I actually can be like butt crack cyst girl. Well, the cystic crack girl is probably where it's going to be.

So both of you are living in the city. Are you living near each other or no? So when we first met, I lived like deep in Brooklyn. It was like 45 minutes to an hour to get to her place. Now we live two blocks from each other. Gross. I could feel it. I swear to God, I asked because I was like, I bet you these bitches live right next to each other. It's really nice. It's nice. Also, we run two blocks from each other gross I could feel it I swear to god I asked because I was like I bet you these bitches live right next to each other

it's really nice but it's also we run two businesses together so if like I need anything I can like be our studio is also there so I can be there you guys too right isn't it like you and Bobby in the studio are all in like the same area no oh okay I mean within relative reason but no it's

not two blocks from each other my walk to her place is seven minutes. Yeah, see, no. Yeah, we're two and a half avenues. It's not like next door. That is next door. We're two and a half miles away from each other. Okay, that would take you like three hours in New York.

Yeah, yeah. But we are moving here temporarily on January 3rd. What for? To L.A. What for? Just to not spend the winter in New York. Because you don't want to be there. We don Just to not spend the winter in New York. Because you don't want to be there. We don't want to spend the winter in New York anymore. Well, you guys also,

neither of you are married, neither of you have kids, unless there's something that I don't know. Well, no problem. Andrew's like, best life. No, I'm saying that was a compliment. You get to fucking, you get to move here. Not everybody else can pick up and just move. That's what I've been saying, like, why would I be miserable in New York City? I've lived here for 15 years. I love it. I'm a New Yorker. It's

home. It's the only thing I ever want to do is live there. But why would I spend my winters somewhere miserable and cold when I don't have kids? I don't have so many time to be there and I have money I can spend on myself. Yeah. Where are you guys going to do your show from? We haven't really figured that out. Actually, that guy with that studio just texted me. I think that would be a good option. Gold Diggers, do you know? No. Okay. It's in East Hollywood. I think that would be a good option. Cool. Gold Diggers, do you know?

No. Okay. It's in East Hollywood. Really cool studio. We've recorded there before. So that could be an option. Or the Airbnb that I'm renting for three months is huge, has all this workspace. We could set something up there, too.

Where are you guys renting an Airbnb? You don't have to say the specific area, obviously. I'm in West Hollywood. I mean, it's just my best friend that lives here is in West Hollywood. I'm like two-minute walk from her house and all the clubs. Yeah, why not? It's just the comedy is like... When you say best friend, does that is in West Hollywood. I'm like two minute walk from her house and all the clubs. Yeah, why not? It's just the comedy is like. When you say best friend, does that do something to you

or no? I always mock her when she says it but I mean, no, I really like this person a lot, like very much.

Can you say who it is? Is it someone we know in our business or no? No, no, no. She's a human being with a real life and like love and interest and stuff like that.

Oh yeah, she's married. She's not shattered. Yeah, I mean it's just, it's different. Ashley's like my family. She's my's different. Ashley's like my family. She's my business partner.

She's like my best friend. It's like a different level. Like I have another best friend also similar to this girl. Yeah, we each have another best friend. Do you have a best friend? Yeah, we each have another best friend. It's like you're saying that like I'm your dad. You don't get it, Dad.

But who's your best friend? We each have other girls. Who's your best friend? She's said it on the show a lot. My best friend Kate. Who's my best friend? I think I've had a lot, my best friend Kate. Who's my best friend? I think I've had best friends come at different sections of my life. Okay.

Who is it right now? Well, Bobby is by far my best friend. Oh, okay. Yeah, because I care about him the most. I mean, I think it's like who I think about every day is your best friend because we work together. And also, you know, our lives are entwined in all this other stuff outside of work. We're planning a tour

for March of next year so we're doing a huge bad friends tour. Oh, fun. Yeah, I mean, it's just he's, yeah, but he's, I would say like

I have a lot of very, very good friends but like right now he's my, I think your best friend is a moment in time. Like my childhood best friend is someone I'll always say

is my childhood but we literally grew up together. Me too. But I only see him three, four times a year. I see fucking Bobby five times a week.

It's a qualifier. We both have like a best guy friend. Who's your best guy friends? Mine's name is Jeremy. Jeremy, what about you? He's a guy. Mine's name is Rob.

Ooh, Rob. And Rob's hot. Rob sounds hot. But then I reconnected with my high school guy best friend recently. We were like in Europe together and people just like

just wanted it to be my boyfriend so bad. Did you guys ever hook up? I was, like, this guy's, like, married with kids now. You never hooked up? I had a crush on him. I know, right. One of the people has to have a crush. A high school best friend for a male and female, it's one of the two wants the other one.

I totally agree. I was madly in love with my high school best friend, Anthony. I, like, he would fuck all my friends. He would, like, he would get blowjobs from all them. I was so in love with him, and now he's, like, married, and his wife is one of my very. He would like, he would get blowjobs from all them. I was so in love with him and now he's like married and his wife is one of my

very, very close friends too and I go to their house. Do you ever tell her that? You're like, you know, Tony got his cock sucked by all my buds. All the time.

I tell her constantly. He tells her constantly. I used to fuck all of Raina's friends. Ooh, I used to go to her after school, I'd get blowjobs. Do you find him attractive still today?

He's like a good looking guy. I don't feel that way towards him. I know. You know what I mean though. Like, are you still like, oh, he turned out okay? Because sometimes people we liked from high school turned out to be, no, thank you.

So my high school best friend is still smoking. Looks exactly like he did in high school. I mean, so people, people. I hope he doesn't look exactly like he looked in high school. That's why I actually isn't in them anymore. You look 17 and it's turning me on right now. Can I ask you a question? No.

Can we interview you now? What was, were you and Bobby really close before you started the podcast or did you become closer because of it? We've become so close because of the show. But were you like just casual friends? We were good friends before the show.

Okay. And now you're bad friends. We were bad friends, yeah. We were always good friends before the show and then the show was, the impetus of the show was that he relapsed and his dad died. Right. And that was kind of like the kickoff and i was there for him during this weird fucked up shitty time

i replaced him on his show a little bit when i did tiger belly for a couple weeks in a row and then they would call me and then i got close with kalilah because of it because i was concerned and i was worried about him and then that brought us really close and then when he was like i'm going to get out of rehab and I'm gonna be healthy and be good and we can do that show. Because forever we had kind of joked about it. And he was like, we really will. And Kalilah was like, you should.

I didn't really think much of it. But sure enough as soon as he got out of rehab he was like ready to fucking rock. So we did it. And then he relapsed again in fucking Cancun. You guys were there. It's your fault. He's like, I'm drinking because of those bitches. And I was relapsed again in fucking Cancun. You guys were there. Oh no. It's your fault. I didn't realize that we did that. He's like, I'm drinking because of those bitches.

And I was like, Bobby, please no. It was your fault. He was drinking because of that abomination on the beach. Remember when they pulled the plug on the power?

Were you there? What are you talking about? What? For what? Oh, for the jam. Remember the lights just, they just cut the power off.

I know. Would you guys ever do Cancun again? I would. I mean, we had a lot of fun. We had a lot of fun. You don't need to be coy. We're not gonna, I said would. I mean, we had a lot of fun. We had a lot of fun. You don't need to be coy. We're not going to.

I said no chance. No, we had a blast. No, I was just thinking. I haven't considered it yet. Like, yeah. I also think we were like their guinea pigs for that. Yeah, it was bad. I didn't know why we did it.

It was crazy. Well, that's where we became friends. They were like, here's 30 bucks and it's chaos. And I was like, oh, I don't know what this is going to do. Well, we became friends with you and got Bobby drinking again. So it was all worth it. Yeah, it was all worth it. I had a great time.

You just don't make a lot of money for those festivals. But it was COVID times. Like, none of us had been in the world that much, and so I was, like, ready to go. It was my first international trip. Were you single where you guys were there? Yes. So, and get this. You hooked up?

Are you—no, but are you a bachelor person at all, a bachelor, bachelorette, or do you keep up? Come on. Do you know the answer to this already? It's coming out of your mouth. I was surprised. We met this guy there. Like, he and I were flirty, and he DM'd me late night, but I was like, pardon.

No, no, this is how we met him. We did this show. It was like, they wanted us to do a live podcast at the pool at 2 p.m. on a Saturday. You did it. We crushed it. I remember you did that. But, like, we weren't going to sit down and, like, do bits at 2 p.m. while these people were drunk. We were like, we'll do, like, MTV Spring Break. We. on a Saturday. You did it. We crushed it. I remember you did that. But we weren't going to sit down and do bits at 2 p.m.

while these people were drunk. We were like, we'll do MTV Spring Break. We'll do drinking games. We'll get people. It was wild. People were taking their tits out, their buttholes.

It was in. And this one guy, I swear to God, this light hit him. He was so beautiful. His body was so sexy. And he, anyways,

you can pick up story. He DM'd Ashley in the middle of the night. We brought him up on this stage, quote unquote. Like, it was like the best 75 minutes we've ever done. Like, it was true MTV spring break. Like, it was wild.

We were like chicken fights and we were pouring tequila into people's mouths. It was crazy. So we brought these three guys up and we did like a fuck, marry, kill. Like, you know, in front of everybody. And I chose to fuck him. Right. Because he was like the hottest one. Sure. And just

then he DM'd me later that night but it was too late. Like I was like, why didn't you DM me at like 9? You know, it was like, I mean I guess maybe there was like other girls he was with but This is Cancun, mom. This isn't fucking back home. We were already in our rooms the last night of the festival. We were just being. 1am though?

We could have hung out at the jam. You know, like I was just Whatever. Oh, he just wanted to fuck. Sure. though? We could have hung out at the jam. You know, like I was just- Oh, he just wanted to fuck. Sure. It was 1 a.m. It's Cancun. This guy wanted to fuck. You might start laying the fuck bricks though

a little bit earlier. Yeah. You gotta lay fuck bricks. Yeah, but you know what? Maybe he was like, should I hit that girl? No, fuck it. We're on vacation.

This isn't like back home. This is vacation. So I will say, I will say, I think I would have entertained it if it wasn't the last night. That's what I'm saying.

Like we were so tired. We'd wake up at 6. I'd take my makeup off already. It's so funny. That's a guy's opposite perspective. Guy's like, it's the last night. She's just gonna fuck saying. Like, we were so tired. We'd wake up at six. I'd take my makeup off already. It's so funny. That's a guy's opposite perspective. Guy's like, it's the last night. She's just going to fuck me and leave and never talk to me again.

And by the end of a trip, I think girls are like, I'm tired. Like, I'm bloated. You know? And guys are like, this is the opportunity to get, like, the last. Right. Guys are like, I don't have to see her tomorrow. Right. Yes.

So anyway, we, he DM'd and he was super nice, but he opened and he was like, hey, it's fuck from the pool, you know? And do you want to get a drink? I'm like, where? Like, think about the resort. Where? Your room. He meant come over and have a drink in my room.

You're right. Okay. You're right. Thanks for putting this on. How do you guys not see all these fucking easy signals? Anyway. Do you want to hang out? Do you want to have a drink?

Are the bars open? I know. Oh, damn. You're right. They're not open. Just come to my room. It's like so obvious. Anyway.

Fuck, I forgot what time it is. This did not occur to me at all. You could have gone and just had a really fun last night with this guy and you blew off fuck. No, we had taken our makeup off and it's just- Put it back on. No, but it's how you do it. You take your makeup off, you do your skincare routine and you're in bed and it's a heavy lift for somebody. I get it. I felt full, I had some fries.

Look, if you were 20 again, you would have done it. Exactly. Yeah, when you're young, you're like, fuck it, I'll throw the makeup on, I'll do whatever I have to do. Well, now I really wish you would have done it because it's a crazy story. Because he's like going to be the next Bachelor. He'll be the Bachelor, not on The Bachelor. He just was on The Bachelorette.

He made it to like the end and there's, I mean, pretty much he is the next Bachelor. Well, can you say fuck's name or does that matter? Yeah, his name is Zach. Zach. So Zach will be the new Bachelor. Probably. Yeah, they're like 99% sure. Dude, contact ABC and be like, throw me in there.

They'll be like, she's the oldest person to be on the show. She's a geriatric contestant. What are you talking about? How old are you? I'm in my 30s. In here, we pour whiskey. Fall is officially here, my friends. I know everybody's ready for the pumpkin spice lattes.

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Claim a free indoor security camera plus 20% off with interactive monitoring. Go to SimpliSafe.com slash whiskey. There's no safe like SimpliSafe. Ginger. I like gingers. No, you can't. that can't be true. People have got to be in their 30s that are on that show. They're on the younger end.

I guess usually it's like 20-something. So here's Claire. Here's Claire with 39. One time Claire was like 39. And they couldn't stop telling everybody how old she was. However, even in the past when there's been a woman on the show that's like 33, which I am a few years older than 33, everyone is like she's

so old who says that like all the other contestants are like but she's older so that's how she when they do job description they just write 33 year old you know like it just says old hag yeah right they write like retired 33 yeah just got out of just got out of an old folks home but no they should bring you in there to be that rogue. You know how, because the show is overproduced, which is part of the reason why I think it's lost a little bit of a judge, is like they bring in all these other elements and they obviously have injected it too much with like production.

And so now, because I've seen it before in the past, and I used to kind of, it was fun. Like I'd watch a couple episodes, but I couldn't follow because it would get annoying. And I'd be like, this is fucking annoying. Like once in a while I'll grab it and be like, oh, this is fun. And then I'll completely lose interest in it. Yeah.

But I think what they could do with you, which would be great, is bringing you in as this rogue throw-in. And they're like, oh, is this a new girl? And you're like, no, I just want to tell you that Zach tried to fuck me at one in the morning. And if you lay that out, then see what they do with it. What if they brought us in as relationship counselors together? There you go.

And I'm like, if I know Zach, you know, and I just act like I'm his ex. By the way, a good opportunity to plug this, bring this to the show, be like,

hey, we're relationship experts. We're just coming out to bring you guys some product. Also. I am. Okay. Hear me out.

Like, yes, they go do those dates with like experts and stuff like they do like tantric yeah maybe that's not The Bachelor

but they do those dates where there's someone leading them through a situation so we could have us and I could be the surprise I'm like hey Zach and we make him like do the stuff we did at the pool

yep yep and see how the women deal with it that whole show is about seeing how people would deal your potential partner

would deal with how you are in different situations. Totally. How you are under pressure. How you are when it's, you should be having fun. How you are, like, that's the one thing that they do that's a little smart on the show is, like, make somebody look vulnerable and see how they act. Because some people, like, lean into the fire. Some people are, like, super turned off.

And you really, that's the thing I like where you're like oh show more of them feeling embarrassed because that's funny to me yeah when it's like a cat fight or a bro fucking argument

over then I go this is boring bullshit right I don't want to see it well the funniest thing about him was that he starts

talking about how like they went to the fantasy suite and then he has like a meltdown the next day you can clearly tell from their body language they did not sleep together.

It's the world's most boring interaction. That's the only way you're allowed to have sex. You're supposed to see if you want to have sex. When they wake up in the morning, you know if they've had sex for the first time the night before. And this was, like, the most awkward vibe I've ever seen in the history of the show. From Zach. From both of them. It's so uncomfortable to see them together.

And he has this, like, meltdown where he's like, you's like, the cameras went down and she became a totally different person. It was so inauthentic once cameras went away. I believe the guy. But our point was like, she's the real her when the cameras are off. Yeah, but what he's saying is that she stinks. She's a stinker. No, he was saying she became... That she turns on for the cameras and then for the off she's not fun.

He was saying it backwards. He was saying she became inauthentic when the cameras and then for the off she's not fun. He was saying it backwards. He was saying she became inauthentic when the cameras went away. Like he he got it mixed up. It's okay. It's fine. I mean listen

he's a nice guy and I feel like I keep telling this story and it's like he's gonna do Bachelor and maybe I can't wait for him to DM and be like

listen dude stop fucking talking about me on the podcast. I know. But it's like it's not anything bad. You haven't said anything bad. He's hot and he's nice.

They all didn't sleep together. It's not that deep. It's just some guy that DM'd you. You haven't said anything bad. He's hot and he's nice. They only didn't sleep together. It's not that deep, you know? It's just some guy that DM'd you. I'm sure he DM'd you. Was there any pics? No. No, we tried to find him from the pool pics.

No, but we actually, we went to Austin a few months later and he and I were DMing again and we just didn't, like, get up. Like, he was like, I'm at this bar. He was with a bunch of friends.

We were like, I looked up the bar. I'm like, I don't need to go to this, like, dive bar with these, like, you know, 25, he was like, I'm at this bar. He was a bunch of friends. We were like, I looked up the bar. I'm like, I don't need to go to this, like, dive bar with these, like, you know, 25-year-olds or whatever. We were a Chris Stefano show.

We were a Chrissy show. You wagging your finger at dive bars? You too high class for dive bars? It wasn't dive. It was, like, 20- A bunch of 25-year-olds

in Austin. Yeah. Yeah. What was it? On, uh, That Street. Third Street or whatever? Yes.

What is it? Second Street? I don't remember what it is. Sixth Street. Sixth Street. Right? Sure. What's one with all the fucking bars? I know, but the thing that you're thinking is, that street third street or whatever what is it second street sixth street sixth street right sure what's one with all the fucking bars

I know the thing that you're thinking is what it is that's where it was yeah yeah yeah like cowboy shoot em up fist fight street closed

it was college kids he was just like with a bunch of his friends and we'd been out all night and we just didn't want to deal with it and then I met that other guy during the day that didn't work out either

it's fine you meet a lot of guys it's not working out what's going on oh I feel great I mean I had a good summer that's not what I said yeah what's going fine. You meet a lot of guys that's not working out. What's going on? Oh, I feel great. I mean, I had a good summer. That's not what I said. Yeah.

What's going on? Why are you meeting all these guys that's not working out? What are these guys doing wrong? I'm saying. It's not you. They're all,

it's like always a different story. That guy was also like super young. Both those guys were like 23. Yeah. But that guy came back to New York and then that was the guy that we were going to get up and then he...

He sent you that weird message on the... Remember it was like at midnight he was like what are you doing 10 days from now yes that's what it was what are you doing 10 days sorry i fell off she hadn't heard from him in months or something and he was like sorry i fell off i've been traveling and then he was like i'll be back in town in 10 days if you want to get it it was weird and so then i didn't respond at all. I was like, I'm done with this. And then I hear that he was telling people I ghosted him. So some girl, he's out here telling people that he met me about the podcast.

And this girl sent him my DM. She was like, I met this guy. And he was saying how he met you in Austin at the pool. And then you ended up ghosting him. So I was like, sure. I don't think I did. But it was a weird communication. So then it had been a month since we last texted, so I just sent him a ghost emoji.

Funny. No response. He did write LOL, and then he was like, what are you doing tonight? It was like 2 in the morning. I forget. It was like 2 in the morning. Oh, yeah. He was trying to see you or something, and then at like 3 in the morning, he was like, so what about that or something?

I do a lot of stuff to entertain myself and reina like like dm wise yeah like just i don't it's if i was really interested in somebody i wouldn't use them for content clearly like i would you know love to be in a relationship and i wouldn't treat somebody like they were just there you know the purpose was the jokes but when i don't it's like, I'm just doing this for me. Like, Raina was laid up from the breast reduction, and this guy texted me that I slept with five years ago, and he was, we slept together in Montauk. We met in Montauk, and I guess he was back there for the month,

the weekend. He was like, are you in Montauk? Hadn't heard from him in, like, four years. And I just wrote back, are you still hot? Funny. I just do it to make myself laugh. Well, what if he's ugly now? And I want to see.

Yeah, show me. And of course he like sent a photo and he was like, you tell me. Did you say no? It's so funny if you're like, meh. Well, at that point I was thinking like he looks a little puffy, but I just said like. What an asshole. I just said I'll put this in my spank bank. You know, like know that's sweet

that's nice we do do things to entertain each other there was one day during COVID I think it was like just post quarantine I got a text message

from this guy in the morning and it was a photo of him and he said something about like it turned out to be the wrong number he was like

hey I just landed and I wanted to see if you were like around it was like really fun meeting you in the airport or something and I was like wrong number

but I'm gonna find out what this was about and so i spent the whole day text messaging with this guy and i got catfished what it was crazy fun this went on for like eight hours we were like sexting by the end of the day he was sending all these photos which by the way like i think all four of them were a different man like Like they all sort of. Was this like a phone service? How was this? Who is catfishing you? So it was just this guy. And the message was like a smarter person would have been like, this seems not real. But I.

It's COVID times. COVID times. I was bored. Yeah, you were hungry. And it was a picture of a cute guy with a dog. So I was like, okay, cute dog. I'll get into this. And we were.

He immediately was like, is this at least a girl? Are you age appropriate? And I was like, yeah, totally. And so I'm like, this is what I'm doing all day. I'll tell Ashley about it. And I was like, I think I'm in love. And we're like sending all these photos. I'm sexting with him like pretty hard

towards the end of the day. And he sent me a dick pic, which was the biggest dick. That was the tell. It looked fake. It was too nice. It was just an internet cock. Right. Yes.

And then, this is so crazy to me. We could probably reverse Google image it right now. A couple weeks later, we had Nev Schulman on the show from the show Catfish. Oh, right. We had him on our show, and we read him the text messages, whatever, and girls started reaching out to us. What was it, four girls that all got the exact same message

from this specific person that was pretending to be someone else, and then that guy's girlfriend messaged us. Oh, yeah. Remember he had stolen somebody's identity. Oh, of the Remember he had like stolen somebody's identity. Whoa. Of the pictures. Yes. The pictures was this guy who was like a personal trainer in Arizona. What's the reason for this though?

I'm kind of curious. What's the land? He didn't ask her for like her credit card info. Like what are you trying to get out of it? Well, maybe it's – The sexting really spiraled out of control. So it was good? It wasn't bad.

It was pretty good. It was? It was heavy? It It was pretty good. It was? It was heavy? It was pretty high level. It was like Armie Hammer type of shit where it's like I'm going to eat you and beat you and all that shit? No, it just was like really hot. But I was like, let me just, I'm a public figure. Let me make sure this is like a real person.

Yeah, and it's not. Yeah, it was just, I mean, it was a real person sort of. But it wasn't this like personal trainer from Arizona. Well, early on in the podcast, I got a wrong number. And it was this guy that sent a photo and same kind of vibe. But his photo was sexy. And he was like, I'm in bed thinking of you or something like that. So I was like, I'll do this.

So I just started like being flirty back with him. I'm like, it's the wrong number. But what's up? You know, where do you live? And then he said he was in, I think he was in LA, somewhere in California. And then he was like, what about you? And I was like, I'm here visiting my granddaughter. And he was into it. And., somewhere in California. And then he was like, what about you? And I was like, I'm here visiting my granddaughter. And he was into it.

And I said, my name is Esther. And I just kept going. What photo did you use? So he was like very much into it. And then I just like Googled saggy grandma butt on the internet. I think he said send pics and I was like

saggy grandma but and then he goes goodnight Esther oh what an asshole Esther needs dick too man Esther needs to get plowed as well

that's why you hear all these stories about people in old folks homes that they're passing on STDs cause they're all fucking you know this right they're fuck machines I've heard

I love that cause they're bored and they're tired and they're old because they're all fucking. You know this, right? They're fuck machines. I love that for them. Because they're bored and they're tired and they're old and they're like, I just want to get slammed to pieces. My grandpa was in one for four years. I hope he cleaned up. I'm sure he did. I hope so. Do you have grandparents now or they're all dead? None of us have any living grandparents. Neither of us have living grandparents.

Nah, they're all dead. I just think it's almost crazy to me when people still have a bunch. It depends on how old you are, I guess. I guess our age range is out of the thing. All of mine were gone by the time I was 19. What about you guys? I just lost my last one.

Oh. Last year. I'm sorry. It's fine. What about you? She was gunned down on the streets of Chicago. She was in a gang, my grandmother. She was a Latin king. It was nuts. Was she a crip or a blood she's a latin king oh sorry no she was a

latin king do they call them queens like when you're part of the group you know they don't talk like that it's very sexist is this a new tattoo on your wrist by the way is that is that what is that on your on your on your wrist which one this the one that's on you the only one that's on your life two wrists and there's three tattoos. That one. No, this is old. This is a sound wave of my dad saying I love you. It's from a really long time ago. Is your dad gone?

No, he's still with us. Oh. It does seem like a memorial. Well, yeah, when someone gets a thing, it's like, yeah, that was my dad's voice. It's like, oh, my God, you miss him? It's like, yeah, I call him. He's alive. Actually, I just missed a call from him recently. I hear his voice all the time.

No, I'm covered in tattoos. They're all over the place. I got these boobs. You got tits when you lost your tits. The first time around. I, like, drew this little picture, and then this guy that I was seeing bought me the boob tattoo. But now that I've gotten my second breast reduction, I was wondering if I should put, like, a little number two next to it or something. Or take this and just do a smaller one.

Or, like, squared? I like the other side. You mean tits squared? Like, put the squared two? Yeah, like squared. Yeah, that's cute. I like the smaller set on the other side. I do like the idea of just doing a smaller set over there.

People were laughing. Oh, you have a crown there. Never mind. There's a lot going on. How big were your tits when you were born that you had to get them done twice? So, when you were born, when she came out. I imagine when you came out, you had massive tits. Yeah.

Because how could they get that big over time without them having to start somewhere? I mean, I can show you. I don't know where my... You all... Just use your words. Just describe to me your massive tits. When did you grow tits? I probably had like

double D boobs by the time I was 12. See, that's what I'm talking about. She came out of the womb with something. I had huge boobs as like a kid. Did your mom have big boobs?

Nothing to write comes from the dad side. Did your dad have big boobs? He has huge balls. He has huge nuts. The bigger his nuts, the bigger your tits. He has my special pants.

I don't know if to fit in there. Are you being serious? No. All these years of friendship, this has never come up in the pockets. My dad has balls. He has to get special pants. By the way, Big Ball Bill is a great nickname. There goes Big Ball Bill.

I'm going to say that when I meet your dad. Are you Big Ball Bill? He'll probably just say yes. He's not listening. Uh-huh. He drinks a lot of whiskey. I love him. Have him on the show. I've got Big Nuts Bill on the show. Yeah. Are you Big Ball Bill? He'll probably just say yes He's not listening Uh huh He drinks a lot of whiskey I love him Have him on the show

I bet Big Nuts Bill on the show Yeah We'll get him next time We were on So you had double D's at 12 I had like E size boobs probably They were way bigger than a double D So I was like spilling out of double D's

So I They were like down They were like this big Not fun Well I mean they were fun for a lot of people Well they can't be fun when they're so that big. For you. It can't be fun.

They're not fun for me because I'm five feet tall and I'm petite and I just felt like that was my whole identity. It's like that girl with the big tits and I just,

I couldn't wear stuff like that because you just like, you would stop traffic. It's a lot. It's a lot. It's too much. It's too much. So then I got the breast reduction

and I said I wanted to be like a C cup and I woke up and like, I still had huge boobs and I was like, a little shrink because C cup. And I woke up and like I still had huge boobs. And I was like a little shrink because they're like swollen. And I still was like spilling out of every double D bra that I had. And he kept insisting I was wrong. And then like the fifth time because I kept being like you're wrong.

I'm not wrong. Like this isn't like subjective like I don't like my nose job. Like I have huge boobs. So finally he was like well sometimes you can't take out that much tissue the first time around. I was like oh. So this is a scam. Wish I would have known't take out that much tissue the first time around. I was like, oh. Oh, so this is a scam. Wish I would have known that. It's a scam.

Wish you'd have mentioned this. So he did it again for free. Like, oh, really? For free? For free. I was going to say, it sounds like most plastic surgery always has a little bit of tidbit of, oh, this is for more money. That's what this is. It sounds, at face value, it's him going, yeah, you got to do it two or three times.

It's just kind of what happens. Oh, crazy. That'd be crazy. Also, I need to dial it back. You can wear whatever you want if you have big tits yeah of course and i did no no but for her level of comfort probably not for her level yeah but it's like people can't help themselves by looking that's our problem like last night i went out with this like very low-cut shirt that had like buttons down the front with no bra and i was like thrilled i've never been able to do it in my life never ever just swinging titties nipples have you ever have

you ever dated a guy who's not a tit guy then who's like you know i'm not really into your tit i've never in my entire every guy would say that so funny though if he's like i just really don't like your tits i dated a guy dated hooked up with a guy a couple times that was just such a butt guy and i just feel like he didn't even know that i had tits like mine are fine like they're on the smaller side but i i love them i think they're fine they're like a small whatever i don't tell you my cup size but I just was like, are you, have you seen him? Like,

have you, he just was so all about the ass. He likes what he likes. Yeah. You like what you like, he likes what he likes. It's fine. But just like,

give him a feel. Meh. Maybe he just needs that ass, bitch. But my ass isn't even that great. So what? If he liked it. Yeah.

True. Did he eat it? It was before the cyst, so. Yeah, this is pre-cyst? Did he eat your ass Yeah. Would he eat it? It was before the cyst. Yeah, this is pre-cyst? Did he eat your ass? He didn't eat it, which is kind of funny.

Well, there's like less to do with boobs that are smaller. Like when I'm on top, I can suffocate you with them. They're smacking you in the face. I can tit fuck. Like you can't do as much of that. All right, rub it in, asshole. I love her boobs. I literally told the doctor I wanted like her exact boobs. I was there and I was like, don't tell him.

You don't want these. This is not. If you woke up with these, you'd be so upset. You'd be bummed? The first time around, yeah, I was fucking pissed. Yeah, you were bummed. Well, I mean, you cut your whole body open, and you have scars on your breasts, and you're like, what the fuck did I do this for?

This is crazy. It's crazy. So the second time around, they look great. I'm thrilled. They look so good, and my nipples look perfect, and I'm just very happy. Your nipples look perfect, they look great. I'm, like, thrilled. They look so good. And my nipples look perfect. And I'm, like, just very happy. So they look good. Your nipples look perfect?

They look perfect. Because is that a fear that when they cut open, they're going to fuck shit up and it's going to be bad? Your milk ducts. I thought they don't go underneath? So your milk ducts can clog and it can collapse your nipple. So, like, you can't get hard anymore. And no feeling. No feeling.

It's very, very rare. I'm not a doctor, so you can Google it yourself if you're listening. But it can happen, and it happened to my right nipple. The milk ducts got really clogged. Curdled milk in there. Unclogged. Did they have to unclog all that curdled up milk? Unclogged the milk. Get that yogurt out, baby. Now we're hard

24-7. Never not hard. Your nipples are always hard. Yeah, it's starting to hurt. Wait, they are all the time? Right now they're not, but they are constantly. Okay, it's starting to hurt. Wait, they are all the time? Right now they're not, but they are constantly. Okay, well, so they don't have to, like, they can go down. They can go down, yes. So they typically stay hard.

They're hard a lot. But also. It's a great look. Yeah, it is a good look. Ashley does it a lot. It looks great. It's weird when they're not. I'm like, ew, stop.

Don't look. When they're just, like, fleshy. I'm like, can you guys get hard? This is embarrassing for me. What's a trigger to get your nipples hard? I mean, I'm pretty, I don't know.

I feel like, it's pretty well air conditioned. Do you do that? Do you flick them before you go out? No, but I might start. Like if you're not wearing a bra

and you're just like, I gotta get these things prepped. Activate it. It's kind of like when girls do this to their cheeks, you know?

Yeah. Yeah, you pinch your cheeks and flick your nips? It's a good look and honestly, like that, when I wanted her size

because she wears this one tank top, it's really thin and her nipples just beam out of it and i was like i want that that's what i do love about new york i gotta tell you the fashion freedom out there is so fucking beautiful people's tits it's so beautiful because you're like look at how hot that curl is with her sexy body and her perfect tits just doing her thing i do love it it's not the same here i just here is more like um there i guess i mean like the same here? I just... Here is more like... There, I guess I mean, like, the style is cool.

They look sexy and cool. And, like, a lot of girls in New York summertime will wear, like, a top where they know you can see their tits. But, obviously,

they don't want you to say anything to them. But it's like, yeah, I look hot. Look at my fucking banging ass, nice body and this thing. Out here, it's, like,

always hot and nice. So it's just kind of, like... The vibe is different. Out here, it's like always hot and nice. So it's just kind of like the vibe is different. Out there, people are stoked to wear dope shit in New York because you have to wear bullshit layers all the time. Here, it's like, I don't know, fucking, I don't know. I don't know how to describe it. I've heard guys say this. I have a

guy friend, he's actually my friend's husband, that he's like, it's literally when women come out of the winter, tits out. New York in the summer is undefeated. I think it's the most beautiful women in the world, and I think we've traveled everywhere, and I think women everywhere are beautiful.

In New York, it's not like people don't try. It's just it's not cool to look like you tried. So there's not as much like hairspray, tons of makeup, like filler, fake boobs. I'm sure that's everywhere. It's just less so in New York. I think that women are so sexy in New York in like a baggy jean

and just like a crop and I think it's so hot there's just better style it's better street style it's a culture where you have to see people all the time someone has to see

your outfit good street style here you don't have to nobody has to see what you wear so it doesn't matter which I gotta be honest I like a little bit more

I don't need to no one needs to see me and I don't care maybe when you're young it's important but as you get older I'm just like oh dude

can I just be in my car in my house and go to my thing and then go home like I love the vibe of New York so much but that gives me anxiety that like fashion is a thing where people are looking at your shit all the time I hate it I'm always like I just these are I have to wear this I don't want to wear clothes this is only because I'm outside it is kind of crazy to like when I move there and like i was walking my dog in the morning i'm like i can't believe i'm on the street like this because you there's no like empty neighborhood where no one's gonna see you or one neighbor might see you like i'm out on a busy street in like dumpy pajamas you know which i don't really care but

i was like it's kind of crazy to leave the house looking this bad. Where are you guys at? Where do you guys live? The East Village. In the East Village. Oh, yeah, see? I have 175 apartments in my building. I see people in the elevator. I've slept with somebody in my building.

I see a doorman on my way out, and then hundreds of people if I walk a block. You're right. Yeah. That's what I mean. I think I would think about it a lot. But also, it's a city where no one gives a fuck. Everybody is- I know, but you give a fuck about your shit. You start giving less fucks.

There's nothing. Living in New York, you just give the least fucks. Like, I feel like in comedy, like, when I had to start doing some, like, mics there, I was like, oh, wow, okay, this is brutal. Like, you just, little things in New York, you just stop giving a fuck. Yeah. In a good way. No, it is a good thing.

I think, yeah, no, it is. No, it definitely is. I just, I feel like I was just there, and I just good thing. I think, yeah, no, it is. I know, it definitely is. I just, I feel like I was just there and I just, every time I go, I'm like, everybody here is just fucking, they just, they have, everybody has a vibe. Yeah. Which is a good thing.

It's just nobody here has a vibe. Everyone's kind of floating in their own little abyss. We think people here are so nice. I love it here. This is a good city. Look, it's just, it gets a bad rap, which is fine. I don't really care anymore. But I think that's, the media doesn't help the rap of LA.

Where like, when they show a sporting event in LA, like they'll be like, you know, it'll be like the fucking, it'll be like the Chargers or the Rams are playing and they'll show a shot of Santa Monica Beach. And you're like, that's not even fucking that's 75 miles away from where the fuck yeah but they do that all

but that's what I mean is like that's a metaphor for what people think of LA or they'll go like Hollywood Boulevard right and you're like what the fuck is it

that's like always showing Times Square for New York and you're like no one is there I just keep thinking about it because like people will say like you know everybody's nice here

but they're so fake I don't care I'll take it I'll take fake niceness over people will say everybody's nice here but they're so fake. I don't care. I'll take it. I'll take fake niceness over people that are genuinely shitty to me all the time in New York. I'm begging a waiter that I am paying money to just be nice. I think New York is more aloof than just outright shitty. But I'm guilty of it.

I don't look people in the face. I don't look up and smile. Here I'm just bubbly. I'm smiley to everybody. It's a little warmer. It's nice nice i would say this in new york people people want to be i guess what i was talking about the vibe thing now this makes sense people want to be cool in new york very bad like people want to be cool whether or not they even pretend like you know like like you're saying like a bartender that guy thinks he's the coolest motherfucker on planet earth yeah in new york at a cool bar he's like what you know? You know, that vibe. Yes! A million percent.

But out here, it's more like these people usually are trying to do something else. Most actors out here are doing restaurants or bartending. And so they're like attentive as much as they can be. But you know that this job isn't their life. So they don't fucking give a shit in that way. Yeah. Where they're not going to be like, you're not cool enough to be in this spot. Out here, it's more just like hey man

i'm fucking this is so i can pay bills like i'm barely here i'm doing this so i can get enough money to pay my fucking rent and go to an audition tomorrow well people are smiling when they do it yeah yeah well because they're making good money i mean i've had bartenders in new york i'm like am i bothering you yeah they're like yeah you are get out i've like i went for drinks recently i couldn't i was like am i making this up? It's exactly that. What? What? When you walk into.

Or they give you a smart ass answer. When you walk into Soho House. We don't do that anymore. You're like, oh, I didn't fucking know. When you walk into Soho House in New York, which is like a private members club, you spend $4,500 a year to do like every house. They are so rude to you in New York. They won't even look up from the desk.

Unless I imagine you're very famous. Then they suck their dick. Because that place is, any private club is going to be catered to the stars. But you're very famous, then they suck their dick. Because that place is, any private club is going to be catered to the stars. But you're not supposed to be in there very famous. Like, that's their whole thing. It's like, they want creatives, and like, the Kardashians couldn't get in. It's like, that's the whole thing. Yeah, but the Kardashians didn't want to get into Soho House,

and you know that. That's true. That would be weird. That's insane. How boring would that be for them? That is so true. Their house is so much, everything they've owned is nicer than Soho House could ever be. You're right, you're right. By the way, I saw a girl today who I said, this is the one thing that we have that you guys don't have the kardashians have and this is not i'm not saying it's good or bad i don't like it it's bad the kardashians are so influential that so many women out here particularly because we have a lot of middle eastern women out here probably much more than you guys do okay like persians

persians yeah they look exactly like her and i mean there i'll see women in the street legitimately women out here, probably much more than you guys do. Okay. Like Persians. Persians, yeah. They look exactly like her. And I mean, I'll see women in the street legitimately and I'll go, that bitch could double for a Kardashian. Yeah, it's a thing here. Because they copy everything about her. Totally. They do the same lips, they do the same clothing, the same hair, the same makeup. They look to a T. I saw

a woman today that legitimately looked exactly like her. If it weren't for her fucking, she was tatted up, which actually looked dope, but if it weren't for her tats, you'd be like, that's a Kardashian, and no one would know the difference. Yeah, you don't see it anymore. Well, the girl on the Empire, Bling Empire, What is that? There's just a, there's a reality

show called Bling Empire, and it's about these, it's kind of like the reality show of Crazy Rich Asians vibe, but there's this one woman, and she's an Asian woman, and she just looks exactly like Kylie Jenner. Like, the face is the exact same. The DJ though?

That one, the one girl that just looks, it's like she went in and asked for the face. Like, you showed a picture. Right. Because you can achieve a lot

with filler and surgery. Look what they did with your tits. Like, and the filler and the Botox that I got. They can do that with all the things. They can make you look like a new person.

It is crazy. It's like, it's, and I've seen a lot on like, you shouldn't want to look like these people who are still going to evolve their looks because they have all the money and resources too. Like they're saying that Kim took her butt out and now all you guys are stuck with these BBLs because you wanted them and now that's not the look anymore, you know, but they don't

care. They can do whatever they want, but now you're stuck with a look that's outdated. Like it's a weird concept. No, it is well they're super influential I don't know like whether or not you bite into that

is your I mean that's your own shit if people are gonna do it they're gonna do it anyway they were gonna do it with something else yeah whether it's her

or something else they were gonna follow some sort of trend or suit to make themselves feel good so it's kinda like that's why I never blame them when someone's like oh fuck the Kardashian

I'm always like nah dude they're servicing a thing that probably doesn't affect you. And they're going to exist in one way or another. Something like that will influence culture enough where people will either do it or they don't do it. I don't know. It's gonna, it always has existed.

Yeah. I've kept up. I've watched every 200 seasons of it. What is it, like 23 seasons? Good for them. Get paid. Fuck it. Who gives a shit?

I don't know why. They receive a lot of hate in a weird way. And I'm like, I just don. Get paid. Fuck it. Who gives a shit? I don't know why they receive a lot of hate in a weird way and I'm like I just don't pay any attention to it. It doesn't really matter. I think it's layered. I mean I think you can

say good things about them and bad. I mean You could say more bad than good for sure. Yeah. Of how they've affected society and the way women

look at themselves. Yeah. Sure. Something came out that said this past week that they had proof that Kris Jenner had looked at

multiple versions of the sex tape before. Yeah. Ray J has the proof. That's so funny. He finally came out that said this past week that they had proof that Kris Jenner had looked at multiple versions of the sex tape before. Ray J has the proof. That's so funny. He finally came out with like the contracts and everything.

What's funny about it is that they thought that was going to be damning for her but to me I was like that makes her look like a hero. I've seen nothing

in the news about it. She did. She won. No one picked it up. It's Ray J. It's on the shade room. I feel like that's where no one is talking about it.

Kim's not apologizing. Kris isn't acknowledging it. It's because it's so in the past too. What are you going to do with it? It's Ray J. It's on the Shade Room. I feel like that's where it all is. No one is talking about it. Kim's not apologizing. Chris isn't acknowledging it. It's because it's so in the past too. What are you going to do with it? Like it's over. Oh, I don't think it's over. I think it's like

the biggest thing ever and it was a big story arc on the Kardashians this season. That's what I mean. It's all planted then. But it's all planted. This is all part of the thing.

Yeah, it's all planted. Yeah, Ray J's getting a check. They're all getting 100% dude. That's got to be puppeteered. You think they're not puppeteering the thing that they talked about puppeteering? That's nuts.

Damn it. This is like a fucking... This is like Nathan for you. It's like Nathan Fielder. It's like the joke is inside the joke is inside the joke. If anybody says that she's clever and smart, that mom,

then why would you assume that all this isn't a part of the bit then? But that doesn't make them look good, but I guess a sex tape would make them look good. But how, what does it matter anymore? But all it does is validate what we've all known. So it's kind of like, it's no big surprise that it was like planned and everything. So who gives a shit?

It's kind of like. They win again. You almost feel better about it because you're like, that's what I thought. You're validated. You're like, yeah. But it's fine because all it's doing now is having us talk about it again. So it doesn't matter. I know matter I know

would you guys ever make a sex tape? with each other? would you guys ever make a sex tape with each other? no actually we're not that close I've never made a sex tape it's my knowledge

like I don't like I've taken fuck I hope you'd know that's shady to get taped without knowing I never would now I don't know if there is like

how my career would evolve and it would be like, you know, something. Are you down to film with someone you're with knowing that it was never, it's not going to come out? I don't know. It's really, what do you mean, like a boyfriend? Like a boyfriend or a husband. Someone you're seeing that wants to film. It just, it would have to be.

I have to own it. So I just have to trust them like so much. But I would have to own it. Like it would have to be on my phone. You can watch it on my phone. Ooh, that's a no. I've just never done it. It, it would have to be on my phone. You can watch it on my phone. Oof. That's a no, huh? I've just never done it. It's scary.

It's scary. I just don't remember. I think we always say, how well do you ever really know somebody? Like, if you do that, you send a nude, you make a sex tape, whatever it is, there is always the possibility that it gets out there. It doesn't, it just is. So you have to, I'd have to be okay with knowing that, like, worst case scenario, this gets out.

So, I don't know. We'd have to see how I felt. I think people that love you have the best intentions until they don't know we'd have to see i think people that love you have the best intentions until they don't and if you like break up something bad probably i think i'm gonna say no i just don't know that i'd ever like i think because i'm so close with my family like just that it would like really bother my brother to have people coming up and talking to him and things like that yeah i just like i don't think that's how i want like my legacy to go down with my dad and my brother, you know?

That's a good point. I feel like it feels different. It's actually very nice to do that for them. Because otherwise, you know. Like, my brother, I mean, he. Let's say they're both dead. Yeah, they both died tomorrow. Different scenario.

It could be really good for the podcast. Because I feel like people would come up to my mom and be like, I saw your daughter's sex tape. And she'd be like, oh, my God. She's so cute. How did she look? Wasn't it nice? And she did her hair different on this one, which I liked.

She learned that from me. She can really choke on a dick. I don't care about photos at all. That feels different to me. Every nude I've ever sent, you can put it on the internet. I don't fucking care. Listen,

I'm going to walk that back for a second. I was just going to say, some dude is like, oh yeah. I care. And my last boyfriend has plenty of nudes in me.

It feels different when it's on video. It wouldn't ruin my life if photos of myself came out, but if a video of me sucking a dick was on the internet, I wouldn't love it. Depends on how good of a job you're doing. I'm doing a great job, but it doesn't matter. Let the world see. Almost nothing is so intimate

to me that I don't share it. I share my whole life, but that feels... I know, I get that whole life, but, like, that feels... To see it, yeah. I know, I get that. It's private. That's your shit. Well, I used to say that, like, I wish some guy would release

some of the photos I'd send him because it's, like... Some of them were really good. They look really good and I'm not going to put them on my Instagram, so I'd love for them to see the light of day

and then it could be, like, a scandal. I don't know. I just need it to be, like, oh, my God. It's, like, a scandal, but I'm, like, happy about it. Well, they're also the best photos of you.

You know, it's like I work hard on those nudes. You put in a lot of work into those nudes. I printed out a nude. I forgot to tell you this. Printed it out from a printer? I printed out a nude. Yeah, I, like, got it developed in black and white because it was my first breast reduction. And, like, the scars, I just wanted, like, a nude of myself with the scars.

I liked it. It was artistic. And I forgot that I just, like a nude of myself with the scars. I liked it. It was artistic. And I forgot that I just like left it sitting out in my apartment and then we had, Ashley and I were in Europe and I had somebody

deliver a refrigerator and two air conditioning units and they laughed and my super had to like come back and install my air conditioning unit in my bedroom and the nude,

this big black and white eight by ten nude was just sitting in my bedroom and so he saw it. Oh man. Youx10 nude was just sitting in my bedroom. So he saw it. Oh, man. You're welcome. He has a picture of that.

What a nice day. He definitely took a picture of the picture. Well, that's the tip. That's the tip. Right, exactly. Take that photo on the way out. That's for you. You got my tits. No, thanks for the fridge.

Kick rocks. Would you guys ever do OnlyFans? Um, no. By the way, there is a connotation immediately. People say OnlyFans, they go to nudes. People are now doing OnlyFans, doing all sorts of fucking content guitar playing the guitar no people legitimately are doing not only just like there's comedy shit on there now they're trying to get and they're also trying to get like even if it's like you guys doing like like a

patreon beach photos together that are like yeah that you don't post the stuff you don't post on instagram but it's not naughty it's just shit that you like, I don't think I want to post it there. That's a new thing that's happening now. Wasn't that the whole thing that OnlyFans wanted to be less of a nudity platform? They tried.

It was kind of like a slap in the face to all the people. They were going to take it away from the full, like people that do sex work on it.

People revolted. Well, yeah, because that's also the fucking, that's what holds it together. Of course. Yeah. But now they're pushing

still for other people to put other kinds of shit On there, so I don't know I don't need to do it. It's if I had it if I needed a source of income Maybe yeah, I can't add another thing to our plate. I can't get you I can't even do I'm not doing cameos I don't have the time, you know like yeah, that one's tough They really are always wanting us to do it and I would love to... Every once in a while we'll get a request

and we'll just, like, shoot out a video and people, like, go crazy for it. Like, I wish that... We want to do stuff for our fans and our followers but it's like,

I just know myself and I don't want to sit down and do it. I'm not going to do it. No, no. Well, you got too much stuff going on. That's the thing.

We kind of feel already... Also, I don't want to say happy birthday, you know. Well, we just... Happy birthday, Kevin. This is from Sarah. Well, what? We say yes and we open the floodgates and say we do 20 a month and we split the money.

I mean, that's a lot. It's not worth it. But it's like I wish that it just you want it to be meaningful, but then you want to feel like you've got to put makeup on. It just seems like a big, seems kind of like a heavy lift. But sorry, anybody. No, I think that's part of it. People don't really remember. It's like you're on camera.

They don't think about it like that, but you've consciously thought about the way you're going to look because it's a video that exists now. Well, people post them. If you're going to pay for it, you want it to be good. Like, I don't want to phone it in, you know, so. And they are personal. Jared Freed made one for me for a friend of mine for her birthday, and it was, like, so personalized. People give you, like, personal information.

I got to think about this stuff. Remember to be safe. Right. Like, I think I would, like, it would be a lot of brain power. Yeah. And you don't like using your brain. I hate it. I hate it.

I'm too pretty. I'm tapped out. I'm too pretty to use my brain. I don't feel like using this brain. I just use this body. That's the OnlyFans. That's what they want. You know what?

Maybe I will. Fucking do it. Let's start an OnlyFans, us three. Would you do that with me? Rayna definitely will. I will. You do an OnlyFans with me? I feel like I want it too bad.

Yeah, you gotta pretend like you don't want it. I don't want it. Great, let's do it. Okay. We just did a podcast and they pulled up Wikiet, and neither of us were on there, so we're not even like— I'm on there. How do you rank?

What's your rating? Wikimen's Feet. There's a men's version. I feel like you have red hair on your feet. Oh, please. Don't even. You do. You have like a knuckle of red hair.

Don't, don't, don't, don't. You have red toe hair. Don't body shame me. Wikimen's Feet. I actually have nice feet. Wikifeet men. I didn't say they weren't nice I said I know that there's

red hair on your toes there is I don't have I'm not hairy I'm not like I'm not a hairy guy like look at how thin that I'm just not

I don't have any I don't have a lot of alright Andrew Santino we looked this up once a long time ago and I haven't seen it since so let's see what comes up okay I'm a

I'm a look at they got my feet. 15 picks. Five stars, first of all. Oh, my gosh. I'm jealous of this. Can I see it? Yeah, you can go.

You can have the phone. But it's me, like, it's on the podcast probably before we started shooting, and I was, like, just extra footage and stuff like that. They're fine. You look bashful with your feet. Well, that's probably because I don't want them out. Oh, my God. Are you in the toilet?

Wait, let me see that. Is that you? Am I in the toilet? You're on the toilet. Is that you? Let me see. And you're naked? Is that you? Is that your body? Yeah, well, that was many, many moons ago. Wait, you do have a good butt. What? That's not him. What is his butt? That's not you. Yeah, it is. Yes, it is.

Look at his face. Yeah, that's me. That is a photo I posted a long time ago. Andrew, I'm into this. That's not even your hair. That Look at his face. Yeah, that's me. That is a photo I posted a long time ago. Andrew, I'm into this. That's not even your hair. That is literally his face. That's me. That photo is under like a sepia tone for Instagram from 10 years ago or whatever that's called. Oh, that would be my lock screen.

Me in the Bulls jersey? I might do it anyway. Kim New Money, great photographer. She did a photo shoot and she was like- I love that. I was changing into that and she's like, it looks like you don't have any underwear on. And I was like, oh, shit. And she goes, let's take some photos with it.

And honestly, I use that for promo. I like this, the pedicure shot. See, my feet are fine. Yeah, they're fine. They're fine. They're fine. The pedicure shot proved – but that's what's weird. I must have done an Instagram, made a joke, and then somebody screenshotted it at the moment.

So there's people out there just waiting to see your feet. I know that. Waiting to see your feet. I don't know why I'm not on there. Like, I talk about my feet. I'm really proud of them. Like, I'm confused on why no one's made me an account. I guess just making yourself an account. You're proud of your feet? Yeah, I think they're really nice. You're proud of your feet? No, don't like them. Oh, you don't like them?

Not for me. Why not? They're just ugly. They're just chubby. Show me. They look like Fred Flintstone. Show me and we'll blur it on the show. No, I don't like Fred Flintstone. Show me and we'll blur it on the show. No, I don't want to do it. Show me, we'll blur it on the show. No, you're not going to want to do OnlyFans with me. Yes, I will. What do you mean?

I don't want to do it. I'll show you my boobs and not my feet. By the way, I wanted to comment about your shoes that my mom had when I was a kid. These strappy Reeboks. These shoes are hot. I'm not shitting on them. I'm just saying every woman, look, everybody knows trends come back. Every aerobics chick in 1989 had these fucking shoes.

I remember my mom having those exact shoes. So these shoes have like a little bit of a history with me and nostalgia. So when I was younger, I was like a tall, gangly kid, but my feet were so big. What a word, by the way. Gangly. I love it. So my feet were so big, and I felt, by the way. Gangly. I love it. So my feet were so big, and I felt so insecure about my height and my body, and my feet were so huge, and they grow first. So I was a sixth grader with a size 9 1⁄2, 10 foot,

and I was wildly insecure, and I didn't want any shoes that had any height on them because I was so tall. And my dad took me shoe shopping, and he came back home and said that my mom was like, your dad's traumatized. Like it was like, I had a meltdown at like value city. Like it was a mess. But anyway, there was like one pair of shoes and they were this pair in black that like make your feet look small. And my mom was like asking friends at school. They were like,

Ashley's having meltdowns about her feet. Like what sneaker can she wear? And then it was this shoe in a black and it's really minimizing and so they have a soft spot in my heart so now I got them now and I wear them. They're my favorite shoes. How many pairs do you have? I have another hot pink pair. Let's get, if any fans are out there that are willing to buy these Reebok classics, please send her as many of these as you can

because she really likes them. Our friend does do PR for Reebok and she's like blue balling me. So what size are you? These are nine and a half. You don't look like you have big feet. It's a shoe. Well, you're also tall. So it just doesn't matter. You don't see it like that.

You have little tiny human feet. I'm also five feet tall. So I'm size six and I have a little lift. Look at that platform. What about you? Twelve and a half. It's a regular man size shoe. That's like my dad's size. Is it embarrassing if a guy has a small shoe? I have never thought about it ever.

You know, because this- It's weird. Have you thought about it? What's a small size for a guy? A nine. I think an eight or a nine is kind of small for a man. Oh, eight would be crazy. For a grown man, yeah.

Eight? I think 10 and a half is- This is so many fans. Dude, I just can feel so many of my fans being like, fuck you, Santino. Like, there's a guy with a 10. They're going to take it out on us, yeah. No many fans, dude, I just can feel so many of my fans being like, fuck you, Santino. Like, there's a guy with a ten. They're going to take it out on us, yeah. No, no, no, I'll get the comment.

They'll just tell us right away. I think ten, how about this, ten and above. Ten and above for guys is probably normal. You've got to be double digits. Yeah, you've got to be. How tall are you? Six one and some change. Okay.

Okay, so that's like a nice foot to height ratio. This feels very normal for a guy. Your hands are a normal size. You know what, I don't, I've never looked at feet. Small hands we all love. I can't. I have bad hands, but they're small. Your hands are a normal size. You know what? I never looked at feet. Small hands we all love. I can't. I have bad hands, but they're small. Like, they're always dry.

I need to fucking moisturize. But they're a decent size. Like, I can't deal with a little hand. A little tiny hand, man? I can't do it. I don't want to. What is it? When he touches your body, it grosses you out?

Thinking of them touching my body grosses me out. There was this point in my life I was, like, in this dry spell. This was back when I lived in Atlanta. And I went out, and I was like, I'm fucking someone tonight. Like I was younger. I was drying way more. We fucking tonight. We fucking tonight.

We fucking tonight. I was and I fucked this guy that was like a little on the shorter side. He was probably like, you know. Short kings reign supreme, dude. Don't hate. I'm 5'10". He was probably like 5'9". Great face.

And we, I brought him home and we had sex. And it was actually like pretty good. And then the next morning he, my dog jumped up on the bed and he went to pet him and like his little hand on my dog's big head. I was like, like, I was like, it looked so tiny. And I was like, oh, he has to go. This was like pre Uber.

He was like, do you want me to walk the dog with you? I was like, no. I want you to walk This was like pre-Uber. He was like, do you want me to walk the dog with you? I was like, no. I want you to walk by yourself and pretend that me and the dog are there. I can't see you hold the leash. I know. The leash is this big. So sad. So sad.

But I'm big on hands. It's okay if he's short. It's just you got to have all the extremities have to be normal. I also think it's like actually a body part. I've talked to this before that I care about. I love like this part of me. I like forearm, wrist. I like a good watch. I also think it's like actually a body part I've talked to this before that I care about. I love like this part of me and I like forearm, wrist I like a good watch

I like hands like I'm really big on hands in general. Yeah. Well because you want to feel like they could protect you in a way. Yeah.

I think that's like your monkey brain kicking in where you're like if somebody if I need him to help me out of a bad situation can he grab it and break it

and pull it and push it? Like, I don't want, like, a slender finger. A soft hand man. I just, I feel like the last person I dated, I can't imagine him, like, stopping anything bad from happening. Also, they're better for, I like being choked also. Yeah. No, anybody can choke you.

You have a small neck anyway. Anybody can wrap around that thing. Yeah. I'm just saying, I don't want, like, a little. Yeah, let me see your neck. Little baby hands. Yeah, you guys are easily chokable. You're both chokable.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Any size hands can choke me. But the more bigger the hand, the better. Well, because it's nicer if it's one hand around the whole thing. It goes all the way around. Yeah, that's what you really want. I don't know. My hands are like a normal.

My hands are pretty small. Tiny, tiny, tiny hands. But like I can choke myself. Right. So I don't need that big. No, I'll do other stuff to myself, but choking isn't really one of them. Sometimes I talk to myself when I masturbate. What do you say? You're doing great. Keep going. of them. Sometimes I talk to myself when I masturbate. What do you say?

You're doing great. Keep going. I, like, dirty talk to myself out loud when I masturbate sometimes. That's kind of fun. Well, within our app, the stories talk to you, so it's just one person, and they're talking to you in second person. So it's not like an erotic story. It's like you're in it with the character. So it's like the congressman is talking to you or whoever, like the masseuse or your stepbrother.

That's in the app. There's a congressman that's in the app? Yeah, it's all fantasies. Everything you can imagine. You can talk back. Is he a Republican or is he a Democrat? We didn't say. We don't want to be polarizing. He's libertarian. He's like, let me take off my gun. You're like, alright, I know which guy this is.

It's the Green Party. Alright, listen girls. Thank you so much for coming. You've heard that many times. Vibes Only is supporting the pod, so thank you guys for this. I appreciate it. Can't wait to use it. Yeah.

Can't wait to use the Hess, which I'm going to call it. Sure, for sure. I think it's more fun to call it the Hess. Absolutely. That's what I call it. It's quicker.

It's brandable. So call me next time if you want brand advice. Call me. Go, hey, Santino, what do I do? I got you. I'll help you guys out a little bit. Also, when you guys do a male toy, fucking

let me be the... We have two coming out that are really going to be great for men. Fine. How's your butt? Do you like stuff in your butt? Feeling it? A finger? Nothing? It's okay. I like cock ring stuff. Okay. We need a tester. I like vibrating

cock rings. That one's one of my favorites. Say no more. Yeah, the topside cock ring vibrator. You know what I'm talking about? Yeah, that's for her too. Yeah, topside. Do you like a little vibration on your butthole at all? Or in your chin? Sure. I'm just more of like, put it all on my balls and my cock. Yeah, you don't like butt.

I do. Oh, no, it's not for me. I just think put it all on my balls and my cock. All the stuff. Wait, when you say all on the balls, what are you like done with your balls? Because I neglect the balls. Suck them, but they're soft. 100% of the time. I don't like them flicked or punched. I don't like aggressive stuff.

I like them feeling like they're- Massage is fine. Like a tongue flick? Chinese stress balls, yeah. But like a tongue flick. Sure, you could suck them. Lick them, suck them. But you cannot be-

I don't know how guys get just like- Some guys have like a fucking speed back. They want to be like hit with it. Andrew, I had this guy. We were hooking up and I was so crazy about him and we were on a lot of drugs. And we had been to a bunch of bars, maybe five in the morning and he, I was sucking his dick and he told me to tug on his ball sack. Oh, this is actually very common.

And he kept telling me to tug harder and I kept going and I was like, I'm going to like dislocate these. Like I'm going to rip something. He kept being like harder, tug harder. It like, it'm going to dislocate these. I'm going to rip something. He kept being like, harder, tugger. It freaked me out so bad I had to stop. I thought I was going to

rip his balls off his body. No, you can't. Didn't he want you to tie him up with pantyhose? Different guy. Different guy wanted me to tie his pantyhose. Amazing.

He wanted me to tie his balls up with pantyhose and then step on them. Look, different structure, different folks. And I'm not cringing because I'm judging. I just can't believe they would want that. Yeah, because I'm sensitive.

If mine get hit the wrong way, it's, oh, my God, am I in pain. This guy was the biggest pussy in life I've ever met in my life and just the dirtiest dude ever. So don't rule people out because they're a pussy just in real life. That's right. Don't rule them out. They could be tougher than you know in the bedroom. And they're ball sack.

You're trying to end this. Go listen to Girls Gotta Eat podcast. These two skanks are great. They're wonderful. I love them very much. You're going to be moving here. Hopefully, I'll see you more often. We end the show the same way.

You look into that camera right there and you say one word or one phrase to end the episode. You can either do that together. You could do it individually. One word. One word or a phrase. It used to be a word, and then people complained that they couldn't come up with one good word. Although some of our smartest guests have landed on one really

good word. But... One word like onomatopoeia? Like a word. Don't go out like that. Like snuffleupagus. Don't go out like that. Ball sack. Butt crack cyst. In here, we pour whisk, whisk, whisk, whisk, whiskey. You're that creature in the ginger beard.

Sturdy and ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are beautiful. You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse. Gingers are hell no. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers.