Whiskey Ginger with Andrew Santino - Howie Mandel

Episode Date: June 18, 2021

Santino sits down with Howie Mandel to chat about passing out in prosthetics, going into the void of silence on stage, finding his voice for Bobby's World and we prank Howie's daughter much to her dismay... ORDER SOME MERCH!!! https://www.andrewsantinostore.com Join our Patreon : https://www.patreon.com/whiskeygingerpodcast SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS! STAT HERO Daily fantasy sports book YOU vs. THE HOUSE http://stathero.com/whiskey Sign up for FREE!!! SQUARESPACE - Help design your website today with amazing templates and the help of professionals https://squarespace.com/whiskey Use promo code WHISKEY for 10% off! Follow Santino on Insta and Twitter: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ https://twitter.com/CheetoSantino Whiskey Ginger Insta and Twitter: https://www.instagram.com/whiskeygingerpodcast/ & https://twitter.com/whiskeyginger_ Whiskey Ginger Clips: http://www.youtube.com/c/WhiskeyGingerPodcastClips Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What up, Whiskey Ginger fans? Welcome back to the show. Man, what a good episode. Howie Mandel, what a cool dude. Transcends just stand-up comedy that he did for years. Became a great actor, a voice actor, a host. I mean, he does literally everything under the sun. I'm glad to have him on the show. He was great. I'm on tour. Come see me. Come on, let's go. AndrewSantino.com is where you're going to get tickets.

I'm going to be in Houston next. Then I'm doing Madison, Boston, Nashville, Colusa, which is up near Sacramento, doing a casino up there. Then we're also adding a bunch more dates. Madison, by the way, in Wisconsin, we opened up all the seats. It's full capacity. Let's go. No more Rona. Also, we're plugging out all these other shows. We're getting dates all over the country. So keep tuned. We're going to be releasing them soon. Just wait one second. We'll be there. But for now, Madison, Boston, Houston, Nashville, Northern California, Sacramento area. That's it for now. We're plugging so many more. Just in the next couple of weeks, we're going to come out with more dates. AndrewSantino.com is where you got to go. The Patreon is patreon.com slash Whiskey Ginger Podcast. It's where I do the solo episodes,

the one-on-one Cheeto chats with the fans, the Zooms for the top tier. One of my favorite things to do outside of doing the interviews on the show. If you're looking for merch, it's in the merch bar down below. If you're on YouTube, if not, androsantinostore.com.

But go to androsantino.com and get those tickets. Come see me live, baby. Enough rambling from me. Let's go to the episode. In here, we pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, I don't. I like gingers. Yeah, no, I don't. I have a fear of microphones. You do?

I do. Well, then the podcast is right up your alley. I know. I'm doing one now. No, but I do because there were always... The first thing I did when I... Are we rolling? Or it doesn't really matter? No, we're rolling.

Okay, but the first thing I did when I had any success as a stand-up comedian is I bought my own microphone. And you, I've heard that you went, you would show up and plug it in yourself? Yeah, because I didn't want anybody to touch it. And the thing is, you just said that you swallow your own microphone. It's close to your, you know, anything that is airborne,

anything that anybody has. Well, obviously you're a stand-up comic. Yeah. Are you still doing stand-up?. Well, obviously, you're a stand-up comic. Yeah. Are you still doing stand-up? Oh, yeah. Okay, so as a stand-up comic, is there anything that smells worse than going on at 1 and 30 in the morning and getting really close to that mic? And it's an amalgamation of every comic that's been up there, everything they've eaten or drank or spewed for the last three weeks. It's specifically the comedy store that you're talking about.

It is. Other clubs' mics don't smell as bad as ours, but that's also because the store never changes the mic. That's like their thing. They think it's cool to have these old beaten-up old Shure. It's just something about they like the grittiness and the grossness of an old shitty mic that everybody uses. Aesthetically for the look or the sound?

I think both. I think there's something sexy about a beat-up old mic. It just kind of sounds crunchy and not so— Like, this is extremely crisp and clear. They're going to hear everything. Well, I know, like listening to vinyl versus digital recording. But that being said, I really am not a sound phobe. You know, I don't care about sound.

I don't know. I've never had a good stereo or sound system. Never? Well, I probably have by accident, but not anything that I know about. Or, you know, if I've been in a really nice car, there probably was a really good sound system. Or at home, you know, when they built my house and I had a home theater put in, but I just said, I just want to watch TV. I didn't think about you.

So what's your, what's your, uh, what's the thing that you spend money on? That's your particular that you really like. Like I like a good sound system. So I made sure when I got a little bit of money and I bought a TV, I was like, I want a really good sound. So anything that keeps me bacterial free. So I'm like, I spent a lot of money on a, on a Sennheiser microphone system when I first started doing standup comedy,

not because I wanted good sound because I didn't want to smell anybody else's mic. Okay. I will spend money on any way to get away. You know, I, it's not really a splurge, but when I was doing,

you know, 300 live dates a year up until COVID, this is the longest I haven't been on stage in front of an audience. You know, I spent my money on, on traveling privately just so that I, for germs. Private jets, baby. Yeah. But that wasn't about luxury as much as it was. I didn't want to breathe the air that somebody else is breathing. Well, now that you've gone down that road, you can't go back. I'm not. Yeah, you never will. Well, I'm just not traveling right now.

But when you do, you can't go back. That's it. I don't. You did it to yourself. I did it to myself. So I travel privately. I have my own sound system. Everything that I've splurged on

can be led back to my germaphobe self. But you don't seem... I should introduce you. We started rolling, but I think this was so fun, I didn't want to cut it off. I think. But you don't seem, I should introduce you. We started rolling, but I think this was so fun, I didn't want to cut it off. I think at the end of the podcast, people have to guess

who your guest is. Don't even say who your guest is. Yeah, well, they know. Trust me, they know. By the topics we'll bring up. I'm a germaphobe, and I have no hair. Guess who I am?

Mr. Clean. Mr. Clean. Mr. Clean is on the show today. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Whiskey Ginger. My guest today is one of my favorite people on earth. I say that for all my guests, but I mean it once again today. It's Howie Mandel.

Howie already got into being a germaphobe a little bit, but the germaphobe thing that's circulated around about you, the mystery that is your germaphobia, do you intensify it? Do you think you play it up a little bit? No, no, I play it down. In fact, I play it to be honest with you. You know, I have OCD, which is obsessive compulsive disorder. Do you really diagnosed image and medicated? Yeah. Yeah. So, so am I. So that's one facet and people who don't understand obsessive compulsive disorder, you can get an intrusive thought,

and whether that is about, and it sometimes is about many other things besides the cleanliness of my hands or the air, then you can't, for people that are really suffering it, it stops my life. Like there could have been, I showed up today, but there are many times in my, in the past before I got really good help, coping skills and medication where I may

have not made it here today because of something that stopped me was usually like washing my hands until the skin came off. The truth of the matter is because I'm a comedian and because I have been forced to be open about this and I've kind of served the information along with a little platter of humor, people, so I magnified it because people know and that's become part of the brand. Sure. There is a brand.

Oh, there's a brand. Okay, so that's become part of the brand. But I think because I'm a comedian, people take it less seriously and don't think it's as serious as it is. And I've talked to people many times, you know, Howard Hughes at the end of his life was in the fetal position naked peeing into bottles. Really? Yeah, he was. You didn't see the movie no with leonardo dicaprio yeah but he was and that's that's the truth and he suffered from ocd

and at the end he was just a a recluse who couldn't really function in this world and didn't want to touch anything and i've said this many times but i'm I'm on the precipice of that, you know, even though—but humor has always been my, you know, panacea. And you know that from being a comedian. That darkness is where humor arises from. And I don't think most people really have a sense of humor, most. Yeah, I think it's safe to say—well, most people think they have a sense of humor. But I don't think many people understand what the sense of humor is. And getting a joke or laughing at something is not really a sense of humor.

It's a sense of humor for me. And this is my opinion, but I stand behind this, is finding humor where most people don't think there is humor. And most humor, all humor comes out of darkness and it comes out of negativity, you know? And even if you take your kid to the circus and he's laughing at the clown falling down, you're, I mean, if you break it down, you're laughing at the misfortune

of somebody you don't know. Right. Who fell, who kind of looks funny, but they fell. Right. And even if you tell a joke, two people walk into a bar, it's not a joke unless something horrific or embarrassing or awkward happens to one of them. So all humor, that's why you see those two masks of tragedy and comedy, comes out of darkness. And I think most people who are comedians have kind of identified the kind of laughter in the darkness.

Well, have you ever, that reminds me, and I've talked about it, I think on the show before, but there's an artist and I'm going to mispronounce it, but I think it's Stancic, Stancic, Stancic, the Eastern European artist. Keep saying it over and over. Stancic, Stancic. I don't know. Tell me when to stop. Would you keep repeating it? Stancic, Stancic, Stancic, Stancic, Stancic, Stancic, Stancic, Stancic, Stancjak. Stanjak. Stanjak. Stunjak. Any of those? Can I do it?

Do it, please. Good God. Stanjak. Stanchuk. No. Stanjak. Stanchuk. Yes.

Go back to the second one? Stanchik. That's it. Okay. He has a, he's created this beautiful piece of art, and it's about, I think it translates to the performer or the jester. And you may have seen this image. And in the background, you can slightly see a party happening. You know, this has got to be the 17th century.

And it's like a dinner party and everyone's dressed to the nines. And in the foreground, you see this clown in a jester outfit and the hat's drooping down and the bells are by his face. And he's staring off into space slunched over in a chair because he's just performed you can tell at this party and the moment i saw that i was like i felt that so many times it's unreal of like all this energy and giving it all for this crowd and it's reciprocated and you're loving it you're smiling they're loving it and having fun and the moment you go go backstage, it's like this, like, it's like somebody took the air out of a,

you know, a blow up mattress. Well, you know, I, I, once I was lucky enough in the eighties to do a movie with Blake Edwards and, you know, Blake Edwards was, you know, and I was a fan of all the Pink Panther stuff and everything that he did. He's an icon in, in comedy film. My film that I did with him is not iconic, but that's okay. I got to work with it. Yeah. And, um, but he told me a story which has stuck with me. I think I've told it many times on television and I told it in my biography, but it, it, it stuck with me so hard because it's kind of a similar story, but he taught it's, it's about, do you know the boffo, the clown story? No. Okay, so there's this guy who's been going to his therapist and he's been suffering from the tremendous weight of depression,

so much so that he doesn't think he could go on. And he's been going to session after session, and at this particular session, he's sitting in the fetal position, in the corner, sobbing and crying, can barely get, you know, a breath of air. And he says to the psychiatrist, he goes, you know, we've tried everything and I can't take this anymore. I cannot take this. I'm going to end it. But I wanted to tell you that I appreciate, you know, the effort you put in, but it's not working.

And through his tears, he's going, I'm going to, you know, just end it right after this. I'm here to say goodbye. And the psychiatrist says, listen, we've tried everything. You know, I tried hypnotherapy. It didn't work. We tried medication. It didn't work. We tried meditation. It didn't work. And I don't want to see you end it. I think you must never give up. And I have one more thing. I want you to try one more thing. And he goes, well, what's that? He goes, well, the circus is in town and the circus has this clown, Bafo the Clown. And Bafo the Clown is a renowned, the world's most renowned clown because he has the ability to make people laugh. I mean, people have died,

literally died laughing watching this guy. And you cannot stop laughing when you watch this clown. And I am a proponent of laughter being the best medicine. If you can, they even tell you in books, if you could force a smile, you will make your psyche rise and become a little bit brighter. a smile, you will make your psyche rise and become a little bit brighter. Just, I got two tickets here tonight to go see Bafa the Clown and just watch him. And maybe you'll get a smile. Maybe you'll get a laugh. And I think this is the answer. And through his tears in the fetal position from the corner of the room, he looks at the psychiatrist and he says, I am, I am Bafa the Clown. And you know, that's incredible. It is, but that's kind of the Clown. It's incredible. It is, but that's kind of the same story.

That's the same, yeah. And, you know, Blake told me that story because I think that was Blake. Blake had this kind of overtone of being tortured. And, you know, I think humanity is tortured in some way. Sure. All of us have our little cross to bear, but, you know, and then this real, this weird world of comedy and entertainment

is either exacerbates it or is somewhat of a panacea. And it does both. Sometimes I kind of drift back and forth between, you know, have I done good for myself? You know, in as far as everybody knows that I'm a germaphobe and they have fun. But, you know, and by the same token, I'll show up someplace and they go, I'm going to try to touch your hand. I'm going to try to touch your hand. Why?

But that's, but I get it because I'm a comedian. Yeah. And because we are on television or podcast, people feel that that opens a door. Oh, they're your best friend now. But not even. You know, my best friend would not say the things that. No, I know. But they were communicating to them when we do these shows that like we're butts and they feel this weird connection because you're in their head.

So then tell me why somebody can. And I love being recognized and I love, and I feel like, you know, I've been doing this for 45 years and I, you know, I started when, if you just showed up on TV, people knew your name and they knew what the third lead in a sitcom was. And now like a, you know, the number one show on TV, I defy you besides Mark Harmon to name the cast of NCIS. Mark Harmon to name the cast of NCIS. I'm on the highest viewed show, comedy show, in FX's history. I bet you don't know what it is.

Your show? Well, I've watched your show. Oh, you do? Yeah, so I know who you are. Yeah, Dave. Dave. And that's the rapper. Right, Lil Dicky.

Lil Dicky. But what's crazy about that is like, what you're saying I'm validating is like like we are the highest viewed show FX in the comedy world has ever had numbers wise. Right. But it still pales in comparison to everything else that's happening. You wouldn't. Well, that's because we live. So we live in a world now where, you know, it was just when I came to town in the 70s. Yeah.

You know, just being on Johnny Carson gave you a whole, you know, it just changed your life and, and you just had to show up and then you were a different person the next day. Everybody recognized you. Everybody knew you 30, 40 million people were watching in any given night. Um, happy days was a sitcom that was on. Everybody knew who Donnie most was, you know, and, or Anson Williams. And you probably don't

know those names, but they weren't the, they weren't the one playing Fonzie or it wasn't, uh, what's the redhead? Richie Cunningham. Yeah. It wasn't Richie Cunningham. And yet people knew those names because they were on TV. So right now with so many choices of digital listening to podcasts, listening to streamers, 600 networks. The fact that anybody comes up to me, I'm thrilled. You know who I am and you recognize me. But you have such a wealth of a resume, which I do want to talk about. We will. But you're popular in the zeitgeist still. It's not like you've been working for, what did you say? How long? 40 years. 45. But you still work, right? There's guys that started 40 years ago that got a lot of work, but they don't work anymore.

You're on a remarkably huge show. I know. I know. I'm hugely successful. Yeah, man. Number one show, AGT, just blew up. Forever. Yeah.

Forever. But that being said, what I was saying was I don't mind people coming up to me, but they'll come up to me and they'll go, you know, I have this 15 second rule where if somebody comes up and gives me a compliment, I got to be gone by 15 seconds. Cause it'll, it'll always turn bad. It'll always go, you know, I love you, man. I love you on AGT. And I, I keep telling my family who don't get you and think you're terrible that you're really funny. And that's, what's good about it. I didn't need to hear that. So that you said, it's like, they think you're your best friend. They go, you know, why'd you shave your head? You look so much better with hair or, oh my God, you're so skinny in

person. Like these are things that, you know, I've been married also for 40 years. You would never say to the person you love, if you want to spend another day or hour with them. But when somebody sees you on TV or hears you, they feel that they have the carte blanche to, and especially somebody like me, I will tell you, I'm like crazy sensitive. I get, it's debilitating for me. And I sit on, on, on those comments for days and months. Everybody does, right? Millions of you're the bests

never feel as heavy as you fucking suck. Well, we've talked about this too, we, not you and I, but I'm sure you have the same feeling. You can be in front of an audience of thousands, hundreds, whatever it is, and that audience is roaring. But there's one,

you catch the eye of one person that is not enjoying, that's sitting there as you catch the eye of one person that is not enjoyed that sitting there as you're doing right now with your arms crossed. And then it becomes all about that person. And you don't, I don't even hear the laughter anymore. It just becomes about getting that. And maybe that's the neurosis of somebody that has the need to be accepted by people you don't even know. Yeah. You know, which is ironic because then the people we don't know that do accept us publicly and face-to-face, then we get a little weird about it. Yeah.

So for me, stand-up comedy was more of a medication, and that's what's killing me during this COVID thing, than it was a, you know, a career. Are you going to come? I mean, time is now to come back, right? The next couple of months, everything's going to be open. Yeah, but I'll be honest with you. I'm really scared. Even with the vaccines and everything,

just to have a group of strangers who I don't know what they're, I don't see the vaccine cards, sitting facing directly my way and going, ha, ha, ha. I don't want laughter right now. I don't want you to blow. So I'm thinking of going out and doing a tragedy tour. Just like really sad story.

Anything so that the audience never has to open their mouth or exhale. I just want them to sit there. Really sad TED talk? Oh. Oh. Maybe, oh. Talk about tragedy the whole time. That's what I do.

Death and sickness. Suicide. They love suicide. Nobody's out there doing it yeah that's true no one nobody is doing a world comedic tour not comedic tragic but it's a comedy tour we'll call it a comedy tour we'll say the howie mandel's comedically tragic tour sold tickets are on sale right now at howie mandel supersad.com buy them i love that yeah i love that. Yeah. I love that.

I'm taking 10% of that, by the way. And you're welcome to it. Thanks. The thing is that I didn't realize that, you know, that today not only would I be a guest and get to meet somebody who I admire and watch. Ditto. But to come up with the seed of an idea that I think is the next generation of entertainment. an idea that I think is the next generation of entertainment. I think we're moving mountains here today,

and I think this will ferment your place in sad comedy history. Yeah. I believe that to be true. I love for the fact that even if I meant it, as people are leaving the concert going, that was so sad. What was that? That's perfect. That's a shirt we should sell in the lobby. It used to bother me when people said,

that wasn't even funny, but that's exactly what I'm going for. That's what I'm going for. And ironically, what will end up happening, people will leave and go, that was hilarious. That was the funniest thing I think I've ever seen Howie Mandel do. It's not what I want.

But that'll happen. I know. And the twist of that will be beautiful. And then we'll make a movie about the triumph of Howie's return to real comedy, ha-ha comedy, and you'll hate that too. I'm going to push all this stuff to Universal Pictures. I have a meeting with them in an hour and a half. Stan-chicked.

Stan-chicked. Stan-sick. Stan-sick. Chick. Howie, I, one of my favorite. You have a meeting to go to yeah right now

they're gonna come they'll be here at the studio in 15 wait so you invited me to be on your podcast I want you to see

the meeting with Universal Studios I want I said they said can you come to the office I said why don't you come

to my podcast studio that's where I'll be so all the executives are gonna be here it'll help me a little bit that you're here because of your level of success and fame

so you're multitasking I thought that like no that's what this is. I'm going to be sitting, and so is the audience, is going to be sitting in the middle of... Watching my meeting, my pitch to Universal Studios. You're pitching something? I'm pitching the short. It's a film short. It's a comedy tragedy, so to speak. Tragedy? It's a comedy slash tragedy. You know the two masks? It's that, and it's called Stancic's Journey to Howie Mandel's Future. It's a, it's, look. How do you come up with this stuff? Well, I write.

I write for hours and hours and hours. That's amazing. Howie, Little Monsters was, look. Hell. Was it, you hated it? Hell. I'll tell you why. Well, let me tell my side real fast.

Okay. I loved it as a kid. Thank you. Because it was so, like, what I think is missing in film today, stupid opinion, stupid guy's opinion, dumb guy. I think the fantasy of, like, total escapism and wonky reality is gone. Like, Big is one of my favorite movies of all time. I loved Big. I read for Big. You did? I read for Big. Because I think what Penny did was like, you were suspended in this vacuum of like, what do you mean a kid is just gone and turned into an adult? But everything else is normal? And I loved that. And Little Monsters was like this unbelievable fantasy of kids under the bed of like, what is going on under there? And what if there was this world and this human could exist with this other creature?

I love the idea of what the movie was. But you hated how it turned out? No, I hated doing it. So we had to, and I had no idea. You know, they asked me to do it. And at that time in the early 80s, I think Little Monsters came out in 89. 89. Yeah.

So, but throughout the 80s, every time I was on a show called Sane Elsewhere. Yes. Which launched Denzel. I was going to say, Denzel and Ed Begley Jr.? Ed Begley Jr. Yes. It was Kathy Bates' first television appearance. Yeah.

Tim Robbins. Like, a lot of people who were young at the time just took off. A lot of directors and a lot of shows and movies came out of our writers and directors on that show. Gwyneth Paltrow was always running around. She was like 10 years old because Bruce, her father, was our executive producer. Oh, wow. Yeah. But it was a – and I didn't even realize what that was.

I was a replacement and then ended up – maybe you know. I replaced a guy by the name of David Pamer. Do you know who David Pamer is? I know him very well. Yeah. I know him on a personal level. Oh, he was F very well. Yeah. I know him on a personal level. Oh, he was fiscus. Yeah. I love the guy. I always felt bad and I'm thrilled that he got his comeuppance on Mr. Saturday Night. David Pamer plays little Dickie's father on my show. Are you

serious? Yeah. I've seen the show. Yes. He plays Dickie's dad and Gina Hecht plays the mother. Do you know Gina? I know who she is. I don't know her. And I have met David since. They brought David onto the show. But I think my point was every break, season, a lot of us would do movies or get a movie. So I'd read scripts. I love the script for Little Monsters.

And so I went and I flew out. We shot it in North Carolina, Wrightsville Beach. And I don't know if anybody has been to North Carolina in August. There's such humidity. Humidity, baby. That is it. And I think at this point in life, in our industry, they have advanced the technology of, you know, costumes and coolant systems. But for this character, they just totally just glued for five hours from four in the

morning till nine in the morning, latex directly onto my skin. So I couldn't breathe. And every part that wasn't latex, they covered with leather and whatever. They had me wearing like three pairs of clothes. that wasn't latex. They covered with leather and whatever. They had me wearing like three pairs of clothes. The point was I passed out every other day because of dehydration, and I was running to the hospital. It was the hardest. I thought I was going to die.

And at the end of that movie, I made a decision to never do movies again. I just didn't. Really? Yeah. That was the breaking point. You were like, I'm not doing this game anymore. No, the truth I just didn't. Really? Yeah. That was the breaking. You were like, I'm not doing this game anymore. No, the truth. Well, I didn't enjoy the process.

I didn't enjoy the, you know, I'd come from TV. Yeah. And in TV, we were shooting seven pages a day, which I still felt was kind of boring. You know, I didn't set out to be an actor or a game show host or anything. I just wanted to do stand-up comedy. And I didn't care if anybody ever saw me or if I garn a game show host or anything. I just wanted to do standup comedy. And I didn't care if anybody ever saw me or if I garnered any notoriety or fame. I just love that idea that again, because of my mental health issues, nothing felt like, uh, such a distraction like standup comedy. And I was a guy who never planned anything and didn't really

write anything and didn't have it. But that kind of fear, the moment after somebody says, ladies and gentlemen, Howie Mandel, was what propelled me. If you look at old videos of me, and then it was just me trying to come up with – okay, okay, all right, all right, all right. You improvised everything? Mostly. If something worked and got a laugh, then I remembered it. But I didn't have an act, and this is not something that I set out to do. I carried rubber gloves because I didn't want to touch public restrooms. And I took my hands went in my pocket. The first night I was on, I grabbed one of the rubber gloves and out of

nothing to do, I pulled it over my head and inflated it with my nose. That became like a signature piece. It's not comedy. It's not brilliant. It's just a guy who just didn't know what the fuck maybe but that is what comedy is though it was pure you know it was real it was authentic and maybe that's what they because i got the young comedian special i did was the first time on tv was with uh the other young comedians who i don't know what happened to them but there's jerry seinfeld never heard of them no uh richard lewis no don't know har Harry Anderson? Not a clue. Okay. And they were, and the hosts were the Smothers Brothers. And this was at the Roxy. And then I exploded off of that. I was, I started playing, you know, at that time,

10,000 seats. I would play like all the outdoor. Amphitheaters. The amphitheaters, you know, like the Woodlands and Houston. And I wasn't even getting booked in clubs. Like nobody knew me or. Prior to that, you couldn't even get a club date. No, no, no. I was selling prior to doing that. I had done Make Me Laugh,

but I was still going back and forth to Toronto and I had a business and I was engaged to be married. And this wasn't anything I was going to pursue, but it gave me an opportunity, you know, at the time in the 70s, you know, disco was big, but I don't like, in the 70s, you know, disco was big. But I don't like, I didn't like, I don't dance. Did anybody like disco?

I think there was probably, Studio 54 seemed to work. I think it was just cocaine. People liked cocaine a lot. And then that was a thing to have in the background with cocaine. All right. Because when cocaine kind of got cleaned off the streets, disco died, right? You think it was the drug issue that killed the music? I think so.

Really? If you listen to disco today, it's such atrociously performed music that I'm blown away. There was a comic, Larry Horowitz in Toronto, that used to say the reason disco went away is because the drummer died. Because everybody,

everything sounded exactly the same. So I went to a comedy club, which I'd never heard of before. You know, I'd never seen, this is mid seventies. I'd never seen standup comedy aside from on television, on Ed Sullivan, The Tonight Show, Merv Griffin, Mike Douglas. So I went to this place and somebody dared me to get on the stage. But when I went on the stage and did what I did, I was so in the moment that I wasn't worried about, it's a distraction. I wasn't thinking about germs.

I wasn't thinking about, it's kind of like the same thrill. And I still love this. I haven't been able to go also because of COVID. I love thrill rides. I love going on. Oh, you do? I do. Six flags?

You go up to six flags ever? Yeah. That seems like a germaphobe's nightmare. Well, that, you know, it's a dichotomy because I don't want to touch anything. But when you're being shot, you know, five stories in the air at, you know, 115 miles an hour and then you're in a death drop, you're not really worried about what you're touching. It just gets me in. It keeps me in the now. And I need those kind of adrenaline kind of deals just to keep me sane.

And that's what stand-up comedy did. And I've said, you know, if I was a janitor someplace, but two times a week I could drop in on a small club with six people there and get my rocks off, I swear to you, I would be happy. That would make you happy? Absolutely. And my wife goes nuts because I do that. I was doing that before COVID. Even if we go out for dinner, you know, I said, oh, I got an idea. I want to, let me just go stand in front of some people, whether it's at the West Side Comedy Club, the Comedy Store, the Laugh Factory, that's in town.

Whether I have done a concert outside of town at a theater or a casino, I'll get back into the car and I say to the driver, are there any local comedy clubs where I could drop in? I love showing up at like midnight and not doing anything that I, that I know will work just to, I want to be terrified. I want to not know what I'm going to say. I want to be, uh, maybe even disappointing, you know what I mean? Because I can get, but for me, the fun is to get out of that, you know, like try to recapture what I captured on that first night of comedy when I was just terrified. Yeah.

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Most comics go far away from that, but it's brave to go back into it. No, it's... It's much harder to do. No, not for me because I need it.

I'm using it for... It's like the medicine that cures you that doesn't really taste good. You know, no pain, no gain. Right. That's the pain I need to gain. I need to, I kind of don't enjoy as much the, you know, showing up somewhere and getting a huge applause and roaring before I even do anything just because they recognize me for television.

And I feel like I didn't earn that. I want to earn it. I want to, I love trying to earn it. I love digging for that gold. I love when things go dark and they turn around. I have this one story that I've told before, we were talking about earlier being on stage and seeing the one person who is not engaged. And then we end up, so I, I always, I had this, uh, one of my highlights of my career was also in the eighties, you know, when I was out there touring and paying 10,000 C somebody said, you want to play radio city music hall in New York? And I said, I'd love to, you know, I've never even been to radio city music hall, but I would love to, to play there. And they put it on

sale and it's sold out within an hour or whatever. And then they said, well, we could do a second show. So I said, okay, I'll, well, we could do a second show. So I said, okay, I'll do a, I'll do a second show. And that one sold out. And I remember being in, in the dressing room in between shows and we're looking out the window and you see 7,000 people teaming onto the streets, leaving the first show and 7,000 people coming in for the second show. It's like 14,000 people in Midtown Manhattan. There's stanchions on the street. Traffic is blocked. There's cops. And

I'm looking out the window, not smiling. My wife says, what are you thinking? I'm thinking honestly that I'm in the biggest city. I mean a city that has 10 million people. Do you realize that 9,000,000, 986,000 people don't give a shit I'm there. I mean, that's how my mind works. And then I was on stage, and I was fucking killing, just killing. And it was like, you know, when you get them, you get them in a rhythm where they're not even really listening anymore. They're just waves of, it's like you start the engine.

You crank it, you crank it, you crank it, and then the laughter is just going. They just love you. But there's one guy, one guy in the front row with his arms crossed, not all, not only not laughing, not only standing there with a frown and a sour fit, he's not even making eye contact. He's not watching me. He's in the front row and he's not watching me. And every, it took everything that I had to try to make it, to just continue with what I was doing. But this just pulled my focus too much.

And I said, hold it, hold it. And I stopped that rhythm, that rhythm that we all go for, that we all want. I stopped the rhythm. I stopped the flow. I quieted it down the audience. I go, listen, you can't see this. I'm going to tell you what I can see. There's a man here right in the front row with a blue fucking sweater.

He hasn't even looked my way. He's not even looked my way. He's not even looking at me, let alone enjoying it. And the lady beside him mouths in kind of a whisper, enough that I can hear, but the audience can't hear, he's blind. Yeah. Do you know this story? No, I can feel it. No, I can feel it.

Yeah, yeah. He's blind. And I, my knee-jerk reaction, while I was thinking, I went, he's blind. So now the whole audience here. And you could hear the fun just seep out of the entire room. The darkness, the gasp of 7,000 people, like what the fuck, how he's making, that guy's blind. And I sat there, which I love.

I would have said he's not fucking deaf. Laugh at the goddamn jokes blind guy i love that jesus christ yeah so what i said i first of all i stood there for what seemed like an eternity of quiet which i love awkward silence silence is golden oh yeah i love sitting in that silence in that awkward just because awkward i don't know is so relatable that's my whole life but i finally just said can i ask you a question to the lady sitting beside him the man is blind the man is blind why the fuck would you spend money on a front row seat for a blind man you could put him in the fucking balcony and tell him it's a front

row and that way he cannot enjoy as much as he's not enjoying. And I can have a better night. But on that moment, I won the audience. The audience, they went from the gasp to poor Howie back into that role. And that joke, which I'm telling you, it's not that brilliant. It's not that good. It's not thought of. It's not planned. It's fine. But what I'm saying is that stands out more than my evening at radio.

The fact that I'm at Radio City Music Hall, the fact that I'm killing, the fact that I sunk into such a deep, dark hole and I was able to climb out. And I always look for those ways of just climbing. I just want to climb out of that. And that feels so much better. It's kind of like people who don't like to work out, but you work out really hard. It feels good when you're done.

You hate it while you're doing it. You're not enjoying the process. You're soaked, you're tired, you're achy, but when you do it, you feel like an accomplishment and that kind of feeling when I'm doing it, I'm not thinking about my neurosis. I'm not thinking about my illnesses. I'm not thinking about me. I'm just climbing out of this fucking hole. And if I could climb and hit the edge of that hole, and that's what comedy is for me. I love that. So I need to go do that's why my favorite kind of comedy is hidden camera and prank comedy. Oh, you like that?

That's my favorite. I did it for years. That was how I started. My first job was on Punk'd on MTV, the newest iteration of it. And then I did, I don't know, I helped write, I don't know, seven or eight other hidden camera shows over the years. Oh, really? That's how I came to comedy.

So I came to comedy doing hidden camera because, well, I came to my life doing hidden camera when I was four years old. Candid Camera was on. And that's the main, that's where it all came from. It actually started on radio with Alan Funt, and he was the host. And I didn't, my parents loved comedy and they bought albums and we would watch, they would watch late night TV

and we'd see stand-up comedy. But I was like four years old. So they would laugh at punchlines or even setups and I didn't even understand what the fuck, what is that? Would you laugh?

Sometimes they say kids will laugh because they think they know where the punchlines are. I would try to laugh to just be part of the crowd. That's why crowds are good for comedy because it is contagious laughter. So my mom and dad are laughing, and they're listening to a joke about a mother-in-law, and I don't know what the hell a mother-in-law is.

Right. But when I saw Candid Camera, and he was explaining to me, you know, here's what's going to happen. I've hired this receptionist. It's pretend. It's not really a receptionist, but she thinks she's here for a job. And I've told her as her boss that she has to answer the phone every time it rings. I cannot miss a phone call and I'm going out for lunch. What she doesn't know is we've attached a rope to the leg of the desk and it goes through a wall

into the other room. And every time she goes to reach for the phone, when it rings, we're going to pull the rope and the desk is going to fly across the room. And what happened is that anticipation, like at a surprise party, they're coming up the driveway. I remember turning to my parents. I was like four or five years old. And we were all like sitting there in that anticipation. So that's like the setup to the joke. We're waiting and we're having fun.

And the first time the phone rings and she goes to grab it and the desk flies across the room and you just see her reaction. That was the most guttural, fun reaction I ever had. And what, what, what I realized and what I, this is just my little two cents is that is the most relatable type of comedy in the sense that we're all human beings. And whether that makes you laugh or not, you can relate. Like, what would I do? Like, I wouldn't believe it if it, I would know it was a joke right away,

or that would scare the shit out of me. It's very relatable comedy when you put people in uncomfortable positions. I think we're always uncomfortable as human beings. That's why we get up in the morning and we comb our hair, because we can't just get up and walk like your dog does.

You know, just walk outside, take a shit. She combs her just get up and walk like your dog does. Right. You know, just walk outside, take a shit. She combs her hair though. Oh. My dog does. Well, you're a good trainer. That's part of her thing. That's her thing.

Yeah. She doesn't want to go out looking disheveled. Let me use another analogy. Please. A cat. What? Is that a good, like a cat doesn't comb its hair. Sure they do.

Oh. Howie, we got to get you a better analogy for how you get out of bed in the morning and start your day. Does it have to be an animal? It should be. Do you have an encyclopedia or something? I can Google. Yeah, you Google it. Thank God.

Animals. These wind guards don't work, do they? What is that? Wind guard. What's a wind guard? On your phone, on the speaker, or if you're going to shoot something outside, they give you a little fuzzy thing. Oh, for like a mic? Yeah, but I put it on my phone. Why do you do that? Because I'm often

outside and there's a breeze. Get inside. You got no business being outside. But it doesn't do anything. I just taped it. You just taped it there just because? I don't put a case on my phone. Why? Why would I? I've had this discussion with a lot of people. Sell me on why I should have a case.

I'll sell you right now. This is why. Look, I have my case. It's my wallet. Right, but it's so cumbersome and big. Do you have a wallet? Yeah. Let me see your wallet.

It's in the other room. Well, that's even more cumbersome. You have to get up and go to- I always keep wallets and phones see your wallet. It's in the other room. Well, that's even more cumbersome. You have to get up and go to- I always keep wallets and phones separated. They can't be in the same room. Are you crazy? But if you go out at night, so now you got, well, I guess your ass will look equal on both sides because you got a phone in one side and you have the wallet.

My wallet is this. It's only three cards and I don't carry cash. I don't carry any cash either. I know, I know. But I have cards and I have my driver's license. Too much stuff. I don't, I have three cards. That's it.

You don't have a, what about ID? Yeah, ID and a credit card and a company card. That's it. A company card? Mm-hmm. What company are you with?

Diners. Oh, okay. I have a Diners Club card. Oh, for this company that produces this? Mm-hmm. I didn't realize. You got to go out and eat.

You were very corporate for a minute. Yeah, I am very corporate. I didn't realize. Are you kidding me? We'll be right back after these sponsors. Speaking of corporate. I know.

Tell me on why I should have a case. So many people have tried. It was because I'm consolidating my three cards and my phone. So that alone. I just like the sleekness of the way they designed. If we prided ourselves so much, we used to, everyone talked about how beautiful Apple made phones, right? The whole thing was half of the idea of that. If we prided ourselves so much, we used to, we, everyone talked about how beautiful Apple made phones, right?

The whole thing was, half of the idea of that thing is like how gorgeous and how sleek and how small and every single time they do one of those press conferences,

they're like, and guess what? It's one millimeter smaller and everyone loses their mind. Right. But then they go right to a store, grab the thin phone and then clap a bunch

of cases on it, makes it as big as it used to be. Well, I got another analogy you may not like. I do. I'm going to. But people have often said, I was in Italy. I love art.

And I was in Italy and I was looking at all the beautiful murals and the statues. And most of them are naked. Yeah. Yeah. That's why I go. Right. I'm not an art aficionado, but that's why I like right that i'm not an art aficionado but that's why i like art nudist yes but you will hear when they talk to you about michelangelo and all that and even people

who are religious they say you know god created the human it's the most beautiful the human body is the most beautiful awe-inspiring image in our existence. Yeah. Why do we put pants on it? Because it's kind of, you know, I thought about this the other day because I was naked in here doing some work in the studio. Were you sitting in this chair? Yeah.

Oh, shit. I was naked in here doing work in the studio and I thought, what if the scissors hits my penis? Because I was cutting up stuff. I thought, what if? You were standing naked with scissors? Yes. You know, the two things that I was taught as a kid

is don't run with scissors and don't do arts and crafts naked. But why the second one? The running, I understand you could trip. But I feel the most free when I'm new doing my little designs with scissors and paper. I feel free when my penis is out. I feel uncomfortable that I'm sitting in the room with just hours ago,

you were in here naked creating things. And now I'm looking at some of the things around the room. I don't know what you were working with. There's a cock over there and a Buddha. And there's a lot of like little dolls. All of these things were made naked. Dolls and flowers and alcohol. All of this stuff was made naked. Dolls and flowers and alcohol. All of this stuff was made naked.

So I really am uncomfortable, but I'm going to try to barrel through this. What was the question? There wasn't one. There wasn't one. I forgot even you threw me off so much and I'm starting to sweat. I like it. You do? Yeah, I like it.

You said you wanted the uncomfortable. I am. This is sitting in the moment. You do? Yeah, I like it. You said you wanted the uncomfortable. I am. This is sitting in the moment. And let me ask you a real question now. Okay. Bobby's world was phenomenal. Did you hate that too? No, loved it.

And also, backtrack real fast. Let me get this out. I was hoping you hated Little Monsters because of Fred Savage. I was secretly wishing you were going to say that. You don't like Fred? Has he directed you? No, I know Fred. Yeah, no, he has directed me.

And he's not listening, but if he is... Fred, you son of a bitch. Anyway, he is a... I knew him when he was... He's a son of a bitch. He's a son of a bitch? He's a son of a bitch. How do you know his mom?

I know his mom. I do know his mom. No, Fred is a good dude. I know he did direct me in something, but I was hoping that's where that was going to go because I thought, ooh, is this some weird beef you had with Savage? No, not at all. Savage had just come off of, well, he did Wonder Years,

but he had just come off of the, what's the movie with the, he did the movie with, Rob Reiner's movie. I know. The dream, he was telling him a bedtime story. Princess Bride. Princess Bride. I don't know why I couldn't get it for a second. So I was the next movie after Princess Bride.

I always did movies. Princess Bride, Little Monsters. Yeah. I know. I know that's how you feel, but to me, I'm giving you the, I loved it. Really? It meant something to me as a kid because it was the fantasy. I always got the people off their hits and then their next movie

with me just tanked them. That's not true. I had Christopher Lloyd right after Back to the Future play my brother on Walk Like a Man. Yeah, but do we think we were going to make two Back to the Futures? Back to Back? Like, could you really come off a movie that big and make another great movie right after?

Well, Blake Edwards had just done Ten. Ten? With Bo Derek. Remember the movie Ten? Oh, yeah. make another great movie right after well i've blake edwards had just done 10 10 with uh with bo derrick remember the movie 10 oh yeah more yeah next movie was me god you bomb people i do that so it's your fault so has this podcast been doing well no the reviews are in it's terrible wait tell me no tell me how you found the voice for Bobby's world. I do really want to know that. The voice for Bobby's world came as a, I use it in my act now. I did when I was a kid, I was at a birthday party and I was choking on a piece of cake and I couldn't breathe. It was halfway down my throat. And I, I I'm sitting there, you know, when you get, I'll, I'll do it slowly so you can see how it's done. But have you ever had something that's halfway down your throat?

You hear what I'm doing? Yeah. I'm closing my throat. I'm closing it. I'm closing it really tight. And it's basically, if you took a balloon and you blow up the balloon, and you know when you take the nipple and you stretch the nipple. Yeah.

But I'm not doing a falsetto. I'm just pushing air out of the, so it was blocked. The air was blocked because of the cake. I'm going, help me. And they're all laughing, thinking I'm trying to do something so my, it was blocked. The air was blocked because of the cake. I'm going, help me. And they're all laughing, thinking I'm trying to do something funny, but I wasn't. I was dying. Luckily got dislodged. But that feeling of everybody, you know, I didn't have a lot of friends.

I didn't have friends, but I probably went to the birthday party because my mom knew the mom of the other person. How old were you? At the birthday party? Yeah. How old was this event? I was like, I think I was in my mid forties. Anyway, the thing is that I was probably eight, nine, but everybody was laughing at me. When I got home, I realized everybody was laughing at me and looking at me.

It was the first time I was, I was ever aware of being the center of attention. So I practiced without cake, just the muscles in my throat, and I can close it and talk. And then I would go to class and yell, Help me! from the back, and the teacher wouldn't know it was me. But sometimes when they found me and it became part of my act, she would go, Howie Mandel, if you have something funny to say, you stand up and tell the whole class.

And I'd stand up and go, Help me! And she'd go out in the hall. And I'd follow you out to the hall and it became a whole bit. But when my friends, uh, got a deal at Fox, when Fox started doing Saturday morning, they said we should do, I was using that voice in my act. Right. And I would use it for like inappropriate. It was funny, a little baby who was, uh, talking about the facts of life and it was not Saturday morning appropriate, but they were, uh, Jim Stahl and Jim Fisher, who were, uh, uh, alumni of, uh, second city had a writing deal at Fox and they go, let's

write it. And I go, well, I don't know how Saturday morning, I'll tell you some funny stories that happened to me as a kid or happened to my kids are happening to my kids right now. And we started telling real stories. We animated it and it was on for nine years. It was a top 10 show. We had the number one happy meal. We gave like away 40 million toys in one week. And you know, I would have, everything that has gone well for me in my career are nothing I could ever have even thought about, let alone do. I'd never thought about being a comedian that was on a dare one alone do. I'd never thought about being a comedian. That was on a dare one night.

Right. I never thought about being a dramatic actor of the likes in a show that somebody like Denzel Washington would be. And I, I ended up, I was at a general meeting at MTM that day. And because they do great comedies. And I thought the next way, the segue, I was getting some success as a standup comic. I'm going to get a sitcom.

And I met on a sitcom because MTM, aside from Hill Street Blues and later on St. Elsewhere, they were known for the Mary Tyler Moore show and Bob Newhart and all these great sitcoms. But she said, you know, we're recasting this pilot. Can you act? And she didn't tell me it was a dramatic pilot. And I said, yeah, I don't know. And I read the sides. And in one day, that was a Friday and I started on Monday. So St. Elsewhere is successful. When I got asked to do a game show, I said, no, three times, you're fucking crazy.

As somebody who kind of deals in irony as a comedian, up until 2005, the game show host was the punchline. You know, that would have put the nail in the coffin of my career it's retirement it used to be yes yeah and then i so but then my wife i was depressed and having a hard time my wife it's the only time i said no to something she said go do it and i went and did it and i was so embarrassed that i flew out of the country to a you know someplace in the caribbean where at a resort that didn't have TVs, I didn't want to

be humiliated. I didn't want to be here for the humiliation. And I remember getting the call going, this thing's going through the roof. What is deal is going through the roof. And in the first week we had like a hundred million viewers over the five days. And I landed back in Miami and within 30 seconds, the first person that saw me went deal or no deal like that was my catchphrase for a while so a game show which i thought was going to end me became it's probably still my biggest success to date like the one thing that i've done people know you think do you think that's your biggest success or you think people think that's your biggest success well it depends how you uh you know judge success. What do you think is your biggest success? The first night, April 19th, 1977, the first night I got on stage

at Yuck Yuck's Comedy Club in Toronto. That was it. That changed my life. And that's all I ever, and still today, as I sit and talk to you, that's all I want to do. I just want to do stand-up comedy. I don't care if it's on TV. I don't care if you know.

I just need to be in front of people doing stand-up comedy. I don't really care about anything else. When will it come back for you then? I don't know. Like, is there a timeline projection you have? I can't. You know, I'm doing heavy therapy right now. You know, this COVID and everybody's going through a tough time

has sent my therapist into a whole new tax bracket. And I've doubled my, this is hard for me. This is probably, well, I shouldn't say that because we did AGT, but AGT has a whole COVID team that does well. But I came here to do this.

This is hard. I'm very appreciative you did. Yeah, this is real. I mean, I lived through the COVID team. We shot the second season of Dave in the middle of the pandemic and it was so annoying. In fact, it made me lose my love for shooting stuff a lot

because it was just not fun. It lost so much community. Oh, yeah. The chatter is gone. The friendships, the relationships kind of dissipate because you're worried about you have to go right back to your trailer, you have to wear a shield and a mask, and everyone's getting tested, and no one's fraternizing no one's eating lunch together

it feels very like not good no it just feels like how the you know like you hear these things about the studio system in hollywood um you know a century ago and it was very much like you show up for work you do your job and you get the fuck out you don't talk exactly hang around you know did that feel like that on agt was that it felt militant almost no that we were the first show we were the first show back up during uh well you did stuff outside didn't you guys do outside shows right yeah but we were the first show that had as a as a non-scripted show that you know we we were the we went back to universal right we were the only show they shut down the park and everything and

we were there and we were shooting outside i saw that and then we were the first show to have to we came up with the technology to have that virtual audience which now you see on every show right right and um for me that was a little bit therapeutic in the sense that because i'm good friends with you know i'm good friends with simon know, I'm good friends with Simon and Heidi and Terry and, and Sophia. So we weren't seeing each other and we were communicating a la, you know, texting and things like that. So the fact that we could be on a back lot somewhere and even stand 15 feet from each other and say, Hey, we're out of the house. That was exciting. Yeah. That's cool. But that, that kind of ended really fast, you know, that excitement ended. And then it was, you know, cause that was Sofia Vergara's first year. And I can't tell you how many times I said to her, you know, it's not like this. This is not,

this is not fun. Like we have. How many times has she been told that as a woman in her life? It's not always like this. This isn't, this isn't always what happens. She's like, yeah, sure, sure, sure. I wouldn't be too worried about Sofia Vergara's, I think she's such a, from what I don't know of her, what I see or feel of her

is that she feels like she just floats with the wind with stuff. She's talented enough to like go along with the program and the way she inserts stuff. Like what she did

on Modern Family, all was, I think she was underrated on that show. Absolutely, and I will tell you this, and I say that she's probably one of the smartest, most adept comedians I've ever known. She knows exactly what's going on. She knows. And she also knows it's funny to play

that sometimes you don't know and you misinterpret well comedians know that we can i can feel that when i watch her yeah but america people in general sometimes will misinterpret that and it's interesting because to me it's like she's beating you to the punch people don't realize that it's like oh you you think that she doesn't know right it's very clever to do that and to like just bite into it's almost like um the iconic line that paris hilton and uh nicole rich you know or was it nicole that's hot no no no no no these uh oh i'm sorry i'm sorry it was uh jessica simpson said uh chicken of the sea yeah chicken of the sea which she knew yes but the play was so funny that America was like,

how does she not know it's not chicken? Right. And it's like, she loved, that's why she's saying it, because you're blown away by the monotony of it. Yes. Except that, you know, Sophia's doing it within the context of a comedy or, you know, a variety show.

I think Jessica Simpson, even though she said it. She didn't know. Maybe. She didn't know. Well, maybe she knew. Now, when the cameras are on, everybody knows. I think that when cameras are rolling, even if it's a reality show, everybody knows.

Right. We all know. Okay, so if she knew, I'm saying what she didn't know was what the backlash was going to be. Oh, right. Because when Sophia does it, it's in the context of a comedy. So it's a funny, maybe she doesn't know why it's funny, but she knows it's funny and you just go along with it. Yeah.

With what Jessica Simpson did, which I thought was kind of mean for, but the world is mean. Yeah, the world is mean. Yeah. It's just that she, I saw her apologizing for it so many times. Yeah, the world is mean. Yeah, is just that she, I saw her apologizing for it so many times. I know what it is. I know what it, because everybody was just calling her stupid instead of laughing at it.

But if she was, she should have just gone, see. But she's not a comedian. Right, I know, but when you do comedy well sometimes like that, even being not a comedian, she knew.

And so she just had to walk into the fire. If she did, the reason I said Paris Hilton is because I saw that documentary about her and I earned a huge amount of respect for her. Again, I'm not saying these people are comedians, but they understood comedy. Paris understood that the caricature she's made of herself was more successful than anything she could have ever done. So she would play into it all the time. It was really interesting to the baby voice, all that stuff. All her classmates were like, that wasn't her. She was one of the smartest girls in the class. She knew more than almost anybody at our school. It was just, she learned that that would earn her more. I hope you're right. I hope you're right. That she felt that if she did, then I feel better

about it. I felt like she, even if she did it on purpose, because she thought it was funny. I thought the backlash wasn't something she was ready for. You know, I love the comedy, for me personally, that never gets a laugh. My wife always says, like, who's the joke? If I could walk into a store and not be recognized and come off like the biggest idiot, like asking the dumbest questions or just, and she'll always say like, who is that? Who is that for? Yeah. What is that joke about? What is it? That's how I, you know, and we'll talk about it in a second, but that's how I started doing my podcast. Yeah. You know, I was really in, uh, you know, a rough shape, like a lot of people. And the only, what do you mean by

that? I don't want to stop you. Depressed. You could, you could- No, but I mean like, when you say that, because I like different bouts of depression. I've had, I've anxiety and depression. I've talked about it openly on the show about mental health stuff. And like, when some people say,

it's weird when somebody say, oh, I was having a tough time. And then when somebody says that about the pandemic, it registers in my brain of how I felt during it. And I go- I tried to sleep through it. I wonder, really? Yeah.

You didn't leave bed. You were like, I'm not even. Most of the, I probably got out of bed at one or two in the afternoon, and I was back in bed right after dinner. So I was up for like five hours a day, and I was eating a lot of gummies. Weed gummies, huh? Yeah. Fun.

Just to try to just. Just float through it. Ride it, float through it. I didn't want to. But when I was up, I would call my daughter because she's got a great sense of humor, and we would laugh. And then we would take out the newspaper ads for jobs or things that people were selling or places that were open and offering a service, and we would both sit,

and I'd start doing prank calls. I never recorded any of them, but we were just, and me and Jackie who's on a podcast with me would just, and my, my wife would walk in and go, what are you doing? I go, I got this prank call. This guy's just, and it wasn't, I didn't get clearance or anything. She'd walk in the room and there's a guy screaming on the phone. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you.

And she, that's all my wife hears and she goes what's happening what is that I go the guy's mad we just did a we're doing a prank call and she goes

what's it for and I go I don't understand the question like who's it for she thinks it's for a show yeah it's not a show so you just got this guy that wants to fucking kill you

you're not even recording it yeah and you're gonna hang up the phone and he just goes away mad he doesn't know I don't reveal myself or anything, which is my favorite thing. That's my favorite kind of comedy. Because you like the discomfort. You find comfort in the discomfort.

I find comfort in discomfort. I find it kind of really incredibly distracting because you're on the edge. The more angry you can make somebody, the more awkward you can make somebody. It keeps me on the edge. I'm not thinking about my – I'm not not inside myself i'm kind of outside focusing on right whatever's happening here and when they when they hang up the phone and like when i walk out of the store and i go that guy hates me it's that's with such pride i i just love you like that i do see i walked the other line of what prank stuff got i hated it at some point

because i didn't like making people feel bad not bad i know but but but but but embarrassed when people felt embarrassed i didn't like it i would go home at night and feel weird so the future goal which was became the coin of our the last season of punked was um look what i did can you help me which was a lot better than the first iterations of punked and a lot of the last season of Punk'd was, look what I did, can you help me? Which was a lot better than the first iterations of Punk'd and a lot of the other seasons were, look what you did or what did you do? What did you do was the main question. What'd you do?

Look what you did. And I liked it when we shifted it to, holy shit, can you help me? Or look what happened, we're in this thing together. That helped me write it better because I didn't love, like Eric Andre's movie, Bad Trip. Yeah.

Me and a bunch of other comedians did some punch-up work on the show, or on the movie, and that was one of the things we always were doing, was like putting Eric in the position of pie on the face. I liked it more when we looked like idiots because the reactions are stronger than embarrassment. Because they can show embarrassment for you. But when it looked, when they look stupid, I always was weirded out by it. So what I don't, my pranking doesn't make you look stupid. It makes you get mad at me and

believe or uncomfortable with whatever I'm doing. And as you should, if that, if that scenario that I've set up is real, you should be uncomfortable. Yes. And what I love, and I've always argued when I did shows for networks and I've done a bunch of hidden camera, I don't even want the reveal. There's no reveal. Don't show it. What? Don't show a reveal.

I never say I'm Howie Mandel. And it was a joke I was doing. Now people make me do that because of corporate, corporate, like if there's a, you know, if Don't show it. What? Don't show a reveal. I never say I'm Howie Mandel, and it was a joke I was doing. Now people make me do that because of corporate, like if there's a, you know, if it's going to end up on TV, and NBC doesn't want to be sued, then I got to go back and go, it's just a joke, it's me. Hey, it's us. But it's always, and I'm not trying to placate somebody who was mad or angry. I just say, hey, listen, buddy, I was the biggest asshole you could, the way you reacted is the way I would have reacted.

Of course. I'm not doing any, you should never be embarrassed by how you dealt with the fucking idiot that I was. Right. You know, I like, like, one of my favorite ones is just simple that I, years and years ago, I used to go, every time I saw somebody at a payphone, which doesn't really exist. The audience doesn't know what that is. Okay, so sometimes

there's these phones that are sometimes adhered to walls in public places. This is many, many, many, many, many, many centuries ago. You have to put a dime, or they probably don't even know what that is, a dime or a quarter in. You gotta explain what that is. It's a coin. It's like a token. It's like a... No, no they're gonna think bitcoin you're going down the wrong road you

gotta give them something else well google payphone but somebody would be out in public at a payphone on the phone just a stranger and i would always walk up within a foot and a half it was always uncomfortable that a stranger would be that close to you anyway when you're on the phone. And I would be on my cell phone screaming. I told you I don't want to. And like there's one guy on the phone. He can't move because that's adhered to the wall. Right.

And I'm screaming. I got a whole mall. But no, I've chosen to be within six inches of this stranger who's on the phone, probably on a very important call. It's got to be important for you to find a quarter or a dime in your pocket and touch that piece of shit that was stuck to the wall. Public bacteria. But you can see it, guys. Hang on, hang on.

You know, hang on. Can you just move back? Please, sir, I'm on the phone, I would tell him. I'm on the phone. I'm on the phone right now. So I'm this asshole. Nobody's going to think they're an idiot. Right. I'm acting the phone right now. I don't want to. So I'm this asshole. Nobody's going to think they're an idiot. Right.

I'm acting like an idiot. And if I'm, I'm always the biggest asshole in my pranks and I'm watching how you, the public react to the biggest asshole. The other thing is I don't reveal. I never, if it's not for NBC, then I don't go, Hey, it's a joke. We got you. You were punked. It's Howie Mandel.

We're doing a TV. I don't need to do that it's a joke. We got you. You were punked. It's Howie Mandel. We're doing a TV. I don't need to do that. I just want to walk away. And they have, and there's something about. Does this give you, do you do this just to do it? All the time. All the time. All the time for nothing.

I have a podcast because my wife said record these and put it. The podcast is me just fucking with people. What's it called? Howie Mandel does stuff. Howie Mandel does stuff. And it's you and your daughter. Me and my daughter, who's really funny, Jacqueline Schultz. She has her

own platforms. Is she a comedian herself or no? No, she was a teacher for about a decade in the inner city, and she's a mom. She has two kids, two grandkids. And she is incredibly funny, and she does social media

a little bit, but now we're just doing this, and it's really, she's become you know she's she does social media a little bit but now we're just doing this and it's really she's just really we have fun talking uh doing what you and i are doing right now and because we don't we you know aside from that she's got a very busy life and i have a busy life so we can sit down and just fuck with people and whether it's somebody we know like you should come on and do it i I would love to. Is it always calls? Is it a lot of calls? It could be calls or other things. We're doing this other thing now where,

um, I'm, I'm doing video, but, but you could, you can hear where, uh, we took,

uh, um, you know, people wear masks out in public in, in, uh, so we have a little Bluetooth speaker that we could put in somebody's mask and we send them into the store and we can hear, we can say everything. So it sounds like they're talking.

Does that make sense? What I'm doing? So I go up to the counter and just. Who have you suckered in to do this? That's, I, so what I'm going to wear, I'm going to wear a mask and you're going to be able to say anything out of there. Yeah. So you can go to the counter. That's very brave. Who's ever got the go to the counter. That's very brave.

Who's ever got the balls to do that? That's huge. Don't, you know, I'd send you to the counter of some store, maybe your McDonald's. CVS. CVS, and I would probably say out of your, and don't say anything. Just look at the guy. Hello, can you help me?

You know, and just look at my crotch. I have had this for over four hours, and I'm too embarrassed to call the doctor. Look at my, do you see it? No. Well, look closer. Just, can you bend over and look? By the way, you can hear the guy at CVS going,

come on, man, I've seen this three times today. How many men have walked in here asking me to look at their crotch? Get out. You go to Walgreens with that. You know, one of my favorite phone pranks you reminded me and steal it, use it, whatever. I've seen it on the internet a thousand times. It never not makes me laugh to watch.

Kids will take one phone and call dominoes on one side of town. Oh, I do that. I've been doing that for years. And they'll make them talk to each other. I love that. And it's just, what's so funny about see I like

my pranks my favorite pranks are like I just like ones that are mind fucks I love mind fucks where people can't believe

it's almost like you know we did a we did a show that never aired for Comedy Central and I've talked about it on here a million times

it was my favorite thing I've ever done but some of the bits they weren't cruel they were mind fucks and it was like almost Comedy Central, and I've talked about it on here a million times. It was my favorite thing I've ever done. But some of the bits, they weren't cruel. They were mind fucks. And it was like almost, we had this guy do this bit called Gangster Gardener where he went to Bel Air with like a huge F-350 rig with all this gardening equipment. And it was him, this black dude, and three other black dudes.

And they were dressed up, you know like like like you know they were looking like gangsters is what it was all those gangster gardener and they would start really well manicuring these people's lawns in bel-air and you can imagine people in bel-air don't really want anybody so people come out and they're like what the fuck are you doing and he'd be like oh my gangster gardener service uh free of charge no big deal we just you know we just got out we just got out and so we're just trying to redo our own lives but they're doing a really good job and so you're like watching these people like they're how did that not make it on comedy central had some issues with a lot we we had uh i don't know to be very i i do know there was a regime change at comedy central and it was uh i think

they didn't enjoy what the other people were working on and then it was like we're not gonna fucking make that and we we were like, what? That's brilliant. We loved it. But yeah, that's what I love. If you ever want to do more, let's do more. I would love to. I think you're really funny.

We should figure out even outside of that. And you kind of hit it on the head. I like mind fucks. And mind fucks, for all intents and purposes, you, you know, I said it. It's the same thing as I said when I was talking about Alan fund, you kind of put yourself in that position. I don't think they're an idiot for yelling at me. I think that's what I would, I would have fucking killed him.

I would have kicked him when somebody, you know, it's just, you know, walking into, I, I, I, I went into the dry cleaner with a, um, we took a dress shirt and I soaked it in blood. Well, not blood, but red paint. Sure. And with some slashes in it like that. Yeah. And I walked in, and I was wearing like a bad wig.

I didn't want to be recognized, but we purposely made it like a bad disguise, so it looked like this idiot with a bad, and I went to the dry cleaner, and I had it in a bag, and go can you get blood stains and he goes yeah we've we've done it before we've done it before i had it in a bag and then i pull this shirt out and i put it on the counter and it's a fucking crime scene right and i go when can i have it back and he goes well i don't i don't i go you said you can do it you said you can do it. You said you've done this before. You said you've done this before. And I just, one other thing, and there's an extra $10 in it for you.

If any cops, police, anybody asks about this, you did not see it. Okay? Please. And he's going, take the shirt back. I go, no. Deal's a deal. You said? Yes. And go, no. Deal's a deal. You said? Yes.

And just walk out. And even from the outside, you could see the guy. He called another employee. He doesn't want to touch the shirt. The shirt's on the counter. Right. Just from the outside, without any sound, just watching the gesticulating of this bloody shirt on the thing. They don't know what the fuck to do.

Yeah. And I'm not doing it any, it's not a gift of comedy right now verbally but i'm telling you visually no i can see it it is very funny to watch someone have to um and also the the immediate thought is well now it's on the counter and that guy's gone right i'm i could be implicated it's mine yeah yeah it's automatically my now it's my bloody shirt the cops come and you go the guy it's like when you tell the cops, like, that's not my weed. Whose is it? This other guy who's not here that I can't prove.

We actually said it like, I pulled it out of the bag and I said, this is the collar. Feel the collar. And he felt the collar before I. Pulled it all the way out. Before I pulled it out. Feel that. Is that the kind of fabric you can get blood out of? He goes, it's just cotton.

I go, okay, pull it out. And he pulled it out and saw the blood. And, you know, I said, listen, you get that out, and I would suggest you may want to, you touched it. Yeah. So you may want to deal with that. You may want to skip that. You ever been to Albuquerque?

You may want to get out of here. You may want to just ghost for a little bit. Well, I love it. I think it's a great idea for a show, by the way, and people should listen to it, Howie Mandel and his daughter. But it's Howie Mandel does stuff. Yeah, and she's upset with me. Why?

Well, because I didn't put her name in it. So what? Will you phone her and tell her so what? Yeah. Okay. I'll call her right now. What's her number? I'll call her.

You really? Yeah, let's call her. Okay. Here, you can type it in. I will. You type it in, and I'll call her and tell what's her number I'll call her you really yeah let's call her okay here you can type it in I will you type it in I'll call her and tell her so what

you know she won't answer a random number do you ever answer random numbers every day because I every day

because I I like to fuck with robocalls see I used to try but I got exhausted by how how like monotonous

and numb they were to the joke. They wouldn't even get in on it at all. How do you? Hit the big green one. Yeah, here. Let me do this. I'm going to tell you. What's her name again?

Jackie. Jackie, Jackie, Jackie. Let's see if she answers. Hello? Hey, Jackie. This is Mike over at Podcast One. Just calling about a little bit of an update about your dad and you's show. Can you talk for a second?

Okay. So listen, we had a little bit of discrepancy from the lawyers. They spoke with us about a title change, a name change. Have you suggested a name change for the show or did your father suggest it? What? We got a document this morning saying that we needed a title change for the show. I think you might have the wrong number. Jackie, Howie Mandel's show with you that we have at the network?

Yeah. Right. There was a name change that was submitted this morning to change the name of the show to Howie and Jackie's. Howie and Jackie do stuff together. Was that? Okay. Are you approving of that? Yeah. Okay. Are you approving of that? Yes.

Okay. Do you need to talk to Howie about it, or are we going to move forward with it? Because we're going to be printing stuff today. Well, who submitted it? I don't really understand who submitted the name change. Well, it was either your attorney or Howie's team. But we got an email this morning saying a name change suggestion. We assumed that it was you.

All right, well, I guess if it was submitted, then you can go ahead and change it. Okay, right. So you don't need to approve it with Howie. You'd rather it be that way, right? Yes. All right. Thank you much. That's it.

See, and to me, that's beautiful. That is beautiful. Now what's going to happen? Now we've created a wonderful storm. No, and that's my favorite. That's it. See, and to me, that's... Beautiful. That is beautiful. Now, what's going to happen... Now we've created a wonderful storm. No, and that's my favorite. It's a storm. And I don't know how to build upon it, but I want to build upon it.

My phone should ring in just a minute. I hope so. Yeah. Yeah. And... You can take it here if you want to take it here. I'll take it. Yeah.

I want to see if it rings in the next... She's obviously... She's with family. Well, her kids. She's got a kid. Oh, she's at a soccer game. I could see right this is soccer prep see that's where she is she just sending you video but that she sent me that before i called but good distraction by the way that we did that during that time yeah i'm sure she's like well what what'll happen now and i'll do this she'll

call and say did you submit anything about a name change and And I'll go, I didn't. I did not. And she'll go, well, somebody called me. And I'll go, you're fucking with me. Nobody called you. Yeah, you did. So what did you tell them? I said, okay.

Why the hell would you tell them okay? Why would you say it's okay to change the name? Without checking with me. Because they're going to publish it now like that. Yeah. Jackie. If you can't put your children through hell, what is life all about?

Thank you. That was great. You know what? I love, that's my favorite kind of comedy hell, what is life all about? Thank you. That was great. You know what? I love, that's my favorite kind of comedy too, where there's a seed planted. Yeah. And you may not be able to hear the result on this podcast. I'll never see what ends up happening. Well, you come on my podcast and she'll talk to you about it.

But I mean, in this meantime, it's kind of nice to know that things are going to happen without me. Yeah. Isn't that great? I do like it. So you flip a switch and something's going on in the other room and you know it's fun i know that she's pissed right now right i know that she's probably the only reason that my phone is not ringing right now is because she's in the middle of uh her children's lives yes yes but she's gonna get home she's gonna call me she's gonna be pissed but i'm

gonna be more pissed yes she should not be saying okay to anything she should have said. Who was I, by the way? Do you even know what I said? My name was? No. Yeah. And that's what I'm going to say. Who was it? Why didn't you take their number? Why wouldn't you just leave a message? Why wouldn't you just say call back? And it's going to end in her going, I'm sorry. I was right. I was distracted that I didn't mean it. Well, I'm sorry. And anytime I can get an apology from a child for absolutely nothing, it's good. That's a win for you. Win-win. As a dad.

Yeah. Well, listen to the show. I appreciate you being here. I have one thing to ask you before we let you go. Okay. Because I know we are going to untether you soon. Okay. Because Universal should be here any minute.

Universal is going to be here. Universal Studios, I told you that. I was pitching a movie, and you're going to be here for the middle of the meeting. I've never been to a pitch where they came to me. I always go out and pitch. You're big, man. It's not that I'm big. I just have a little bit and you were going to be here for the middle of the meeting. I've never been to a pitch where they came to me. I always go out and pitch. You're big, man. It's not that I'm big. I just have a little bit more weight lately, you know?

I've put on a little bit more industry weight, and I said, you come to me now. I don't go to Universal. What was the straw that added the weight? Soon inside information I know about the top executives there. Oh, not the numbers you're getting on FX? No. No, it's just I literally just know a lot of their secrets. So they were scared.

Wow. I'm just, I was excited to come here. I didn't know who I, but just in the short time that we've spent together, and we've never really spent any personal time together. I realize you have the number one show on FX that the studios will come here.

Yep, they'll come here. To hear ideas. I had no idea. Had I known these things, I would have been more nervous because I didn't realize it. I didn't want you to be nervous coming here i wanted you to stay in this comfort warm cozy place which is why there it is i'll put it on speaker it is my daughter oh it just went it went i will when she i will put it on speaker it's gonna come she's gonna call

back we have to hear disconnected of course it disconnected let me i's going to come. She's going to call back. We have to hear it. It disconnected. Of course. It disconnected. Let me all try to call her and see if she answers me. I'm creating family drama. It kind of makes me feel good. Really? Yeah, just a little bit of fun. What if it doesn't end well? Well, for who?

Here, I'll call her. Hello? Did you just call me? Yeah. What? Did you submit a name change for our podcast? No. I just got a call that we're changing the name of our podcast.

Who called you? I don't, like attorneys submitted, I don't have an attorney, but they said my attorney submitted a name change for the podcast. Was it yours? My attorney you know is Bill. No, he didn't. I don't, I didn't do this. What are you doing, Jackie?

No, I didn't do anything. I'm just telling you, I got a phone call saying that, um, they're changing the name of the podcast so that I'm included. Was it supposed to be a surprise? The only person that's surprised is me. Okay, well, now we have a new name and I'm included. This better be a joke, Jackie. No, but I'm in the middle of Abby's

and my daughter's, um... Hold on. I'm in the middle of Abby's end of the year, like, class party, so I'll call you later. You're joking, right? No. If you're not joking, I'm gonna be angry. Why are you angry

at me? I didn't do it. I got a phone call. But you should have... You don't know who you got a call from, so I can call them back and check... I'm in the middle of something else, Dad. I'm in the middle of... No, I know, but you're not... I can't really...

All right. I'm just letting you know, but they're changing the name. They are not. Which is better anyways. They are not. No. No, I'm angry. I'm angry.

Goodbye. Goodbye. We'll let it play on. Wow, that was great. It is fun, isn't it? Because also we exposed something a little bit. We exposed the fact that she really does want the name changed. Well, that's why you did it.

I told you. I know, but... It's really... It's been a bone of contention. But now it's a real thing. Yeah. Because now she's going... Well, that's why you did it. I told you. I know, but- It's really, it's been a bone of contention. But now it's a real thing. Yeah. Because now she's going- Well, she's kind of happy that they changed. I talked to my attorney.

She says, and I don't even have an attorney. Great. This is so good. Oh my God. Well, we're going to see the future of this. Yeah, you will. We'll skip over to your show and find out what happens. All right.

Before you go- Yeah. Is there anything you can tell me that you've never told about Gizmo? That's the same voice as Bobby, but I've told that. I know. I know that.

That I've never told. Is there anything about Gizmo that people don't really know that only you know? And by the way, for people who don't know what we're talking about, Gizmo that people don't really know that only you know and by the way for people don't know we're talking about uh gizmo is a character that uh how he played on gremlins uh and if you don't know what that is good god please watch i don't know he was a thing you don't get wet you don't

feed them after midnight yes and right now it's part of a uh i reprised it for a mountain dew uh campaign you did yeah that's that'sised it for a Mountain Dew campaign. You did? Yeah. That's awesome. There's a Mountain Dew campaign right now. If you look up the new Mountain Dew commercial, it's me going. But it was the same voice I did not only for Bobby, but I was also Skeeter and the Muppet Babies.

Correct. Yeah, I know that. Skeeter was this. Bobby was this. Gizmo. It's all the same voice. I did have a lower voice. I was also Animal and Bunsen Honeydew on the Muppet Babes. Wait, you were Animal?

Go, bye-bye. Oh, wow. Yeah, and then I wanted to tour and do stand-up, so I left and Dave Coulier took over. Oh. Well, he's a big voice actor, too. I do know that. Yeah, he took over. So is there one secret's a big voice actor, too. I do know that. Yeah, he took over.

So is there one secret that you can give me, you can leave with us, you can leave us with about Gizmo that maybe you've never talked about or people don't know? The fact that they, so I did this character, this little fuzzy little thing, which didn't really speak English. Right. You know, it was just. Light bright, light bright.

Light bright. Right, right, right. But it really didn't. And then they called me in. Right. You know, it was just, Light Bright, Light Bright. Light Bright. Right, right, right. But it really didn't. And then they called me in. As it became a bigger and bigger success, every country I had to rerecord it for in their language. Now, it wasn't English, but if I was doing Germany, I guess because has the intonation

of Light Bright. Light bright. It's not that. So I had to do it more Germanic. So if you go see the movie in Germany or you're watching it on German TV, he goes. Really? Yeah. It's more German. And then in the Asian countries, they had me do it.

And they'd have somebody there saying what they want. And I would mimic mimic a Japanese woman or a German man or a Yugoslavian person. They would have me mimic them doing things so that the young people of that country would really relate to this little character. Wow, that's so wild. Because a lot of times you'd think, well, it's such nonsense speak. It is what it is what it is. Right, and that surprised me. So I don't know that people know that it's different if speak. It is what it is what it is. Right. And that surprised me. So I don't know that people know that it's different if you see it. In other countries.

In other countries. And the actors may be dubbed, but that's me doing gizmo in other languages. That's pretty talented, man. I am very talented. That is pretty incredible. Oh, my God. By the way, there was an easy German joke there, but you didn't take it. I didn't go for it.

You didn't. And you could have. Yes. We didn't go for it. You didn't. And you could have. Yes. We must never forget. Yes. Correct. Okay, look, we end the show the same way.

You look into your camera right there. You say one word or one phrase that's going to end the episode. People are going to know you for this. This will be compiled

at the end of time as the word or phrase that you use to end this episode. Go ahead when you're ready. Enough! In here, we pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey. You're that creature in the ginger beard.

Sturdy and ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are beautiful. You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse. Gingers are hell no. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers.