Whiskey Ginger with Andrew Santino - Jack Whitehall

Episode Date: February 17, 2023

Andrew Santino sits down with UK's finest Jack Whitehall to talk about being the overshadowed by Robert Pattinson, his intervention for his dad Michael Whitehall, and much much more! #jackwhitehall #andrewsantino #whiskeyginger #podcast COME SEE ME ON TOUR!!! https://www.andrewsantino.com ORDER SOME MERCH!!! https://www.andrewsantinostore.com ============================================================ SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS! RABBIT HOLE $5 OFF with Promo Code: WHISKEY https://rabbitholedistillery.com/drizly SQUARE SPACE Get that site up and running now! 10% off your order https://squarespace.com/whiskey Follow Santino on Insta and Twitter: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ https://twitter.com/CheetoSantino Produced and edited by Joe Faria IG: @itsjoefaria Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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$5 off your first order with the promo code rabbit. Drink responsibly. What up, Whiskey Ginger fans? Welcome back to the show. If it's your first time joining the show, welcome to the show. Like it, subscribe it. Leave a comment below for the Al Go Rhythm. We got a boy from over the pond.

Jack Whitehall is on the show. What a funny guy. He's on tour right now. Please go see him. Go grab a ticket to go see him. Very smart. Very clever. Very funny. He's a good looking cat too. It's easy on the eyes. He's on tour. I'm not, but I do have a special out. Go watch Cheeseburger on Netflix right now.

Please go watch it on Netflix. Watch Cheeseburger, rate it, tell a friend, let everyone know what I'm up to making you laugh. So hopefully I'll be back out on the road soon. But for now, enough rambling from me. Let's go to the episode. $75 for the whiskey and $75 for the whore. Gingers are hell no. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Whiskey Ginger. My guest today is one of my favorite people on earth. I say that for all my guests, but I mean it once again today. It's the first time this British lad has graced us, and I hope it's not the last.

It's Jack Whitehall, ladies and gentlemen. Cheers. Cheers. We're having a little something something, just a little snifter, a little something special for the boy that comes from overseas. Some fine bourbon. Fine, fine bourbon. It's good stuff, right?

That's really good stuff. You look good. We've never connected until this moment in life right now. But your long hair is really nice, man. Yeah. I'm jealous. You look like that. It's a real choice, right? It's a choice, but it's a good choice. Yeah. It looked, you look like a, you're, you look like a California guy, but you're not. Yeah. I'm having my kind of lockdown moment. You are two years too late. Right. So after COVID is when you decided to grow your hair. Yeah. I thought I'll do that now.

Every day during COVID you were shaving, cutting your hair. Keeping it really tight, really tidy and then I was just like, I'm just going to let it go. Also, I think when you have hair like this, it's just a marker of being out of work. It's a good way to let people know that you're not working. Or that you're ready to work.

Or that you're ready to work, yes. It's like protest. If my agent sees me, the hair is getting longer then he's not doing his job. See, but it's interesting because you look good. So I think you're doing a reverse psychology. You're like, oh, I'm not really working. But you are.

Yeah, you are. I'm just putting it out there into the world. I know. Agents, managers, lawyers, listen up. No, but you work enough. You do so much of your own stuff that what's the difference? I mean, you're an accomplished stand-up comic who also has shared a career with your father, which I think is insane. It's wild. I mean, it's wonderful.

It's wonderful. Yeah, yeah. Because most of us have dads either that weren't around or weren't present, right? Or they were, you know, like my stepdad worked in sales. Like if I tried to put him in a part of anything, bad, bad, bad, bad content. Bad things would happen. Bad content, yeah.

He would say stuff that we'd have to edit the whole episode. Yeah. Well, I mean, there was a fair amount of having to edit stuff out that would be very, very bad if it ended up in the finished program when I do stuff with him. And he genuinely, like, even more so the older that he gets, it does feel like there is just this, like, loose cannon that's out there in the ether that could potentially, like even more so the older that he gets, it does feel like there is just this like loose cannon

that's out there in the ether that could potentially like do some real damage to my career. And I have no, yeah, but like for most comedians, it's what's coming out

of your mouth that you're worried about. And for me, it's that I have this like human hand grenade just wandering around. And now he has like a platform he's on,

you know, not only is he on all social media but he's often doing like his own stuff now and he's doing tv shows without me he's talking about doing a tour who is this like it's insane he's ditched me you better get a kickback from that yeah yeah like your father better kick you back if he starts touring he better kick you back 10 of that that's you you need royalties on that i want royalties on that i don't know who he thinks he is dude what did he do for you other than raise you and clothe you

and feed you and put you through life? Exactly. Yeah. He's also, there have been a couple of things like our version of Dancing with the Stars got in contact with him. And because the other problem is like

he's got my mom behind him who's like pushing him to do more and more stuff because she fucking loves it. Right. And so Dancing with the Stars came and said, you know, would you like to be on this? You'd be the oldest contestant that we've ever had. And he was genuinely talked into considering it by my mom.

And then me and my brothers and sisters found out and we literally had to stage an intervention where we went round to the house. You're like, you cannot let him do that show. It'll be an absolute like car crash. Yeah, but I like an intervention where it's not about drugs or alcohol it's all about him

being on a reality show yeah it's like everyone's crying and sad and they're like your choices to do a reality show has affected me

in the following ways just a whole script on why you shouldn't do it yeah but I think what is it called it's Britain's version right yeah Strictly Come Dancing

what's it called it's called Strictly Come Dancing dude you guys make everything you make everything so wacky. It's got to be wacky for some reason. Say it again. Yeah, Strictly Come Dancing. Why?

Why wouldn't they just call it? It's old-timey, doesn't it? It is. It sounds like pre-war. It's so stupid. You guys have to make things cute and wacky. I think a part of the British sense of humor is that you guys are always in on the joke. Americans have this thing where we don't like to have pie on our face.

You guys invented that shit. It's just the best. I do like that. And this is just not just to tell that show I'm just saying in general my favorite thing about

British comedy is it's okay that they're part of the joke where culturally there's something about us that like we

always want to look cool or we always want to look like we're just a little bit ahead of it yeah which you can do in British comedy but

they're in it with you. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I always love that. Like, I've always, one of my favorite shows lately is What We Do in the Shadows,

and because I love Matt Berry. Oh, he's hilarious. I think he's one of the funniest people, and I say this almost every episode because I'm trying to get Matt's attention because I have a crush on the guy. Yeah, yeah. But I just think he's brilliant,

and I've always loved, like Toast to London was one of my favorite shows. And I just, his rhythm was something I always caught on to because he didn't mind looking a fool. I was like, he's so comfortable with himself. When he looks the dumbest, it is the funniest to me. I just, I love him. I love his style.

And he is literally someone that could read out the phone book and it would be funny. Well, he did on that show, right? He read the train stops. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's hilarious. It's so good. He did my friend's wedding.

He adjudicated my friend's wedding. Wait, really? And they got him to do it, which was lovely and great that he did it. And it was a lovely ceremony, but there is a problem when you are that funny that even when he was trying to do the serious bits,

everyone was cracking up because they thought he was doing a bit because he just, he can't speak without it being funny. Right, because his cadence is,

it's almost, he's from another time. Yeah. The way he speaks is, he's so sure of himself, but it's also, again, he's like in on the joke a little bit, which I very much like.

Big fan of British comedies, by the way. Not The Office. That thing sucked. You heard me, Gervais. That shit was true. No, imagine I opened this whole beef with Ricky Gervais for no reason. Ours was better. No, but you're a well-accomplished stand-up comic actor.

I mean, and you're a very handsome guy. I was going to compliment you when you walked in, but I feel like doing it in the chair now. Oh, thank you. You're more lengthy than I thought you'd be. I thought you might be shorter. A lanky streak of piss. You are a lanky streak of piss? Is that your next special?

That would be a great name for a special. You have a special out now? No, I'm about to go on tour. You're about to go on tour. I'm just about to start doing this. And then you're going to put that, when this is done, are you going to film it for a special or no? Yeah, I mean, weirdly this time around,

I've gone the other way around. So I've started doing a tour here and then I'm going to go and do it in England after that. And then I'll probably do the special at the end. Doing the States first, yeah. Wow. Anywhere you're excited about? I mean

I've never really done anywhere other than LA and New York so I'm getting to travel outside of those two cities you going to the South?

I'm not going to I'm going to Texas to Austin that counts Austin Austin doesn't does it? Austin's kind of like

you know that's like our... It's like a principality of hipsters in the red state of Texas. It's still Texas for sure, particularly when you travel outside of it a little bit. But in the epicenter of the city, you know, there's a Soho house and a Whole Foods. Do you know what I mean?

Well, I do say that when I book a tour, it has to have a Soho house. That's part of it. I will it has to have a Soho house that's part of it yeah I will only do cities with a Soho house it must be a Ludlow or Soho house

it's in your contract what's on your rider by the way do you have a specific rider I haven't changed my rider since I was 18 years old and I started doing stand up what is it

so it's um lollipops six diet cokes and a bag of Haribo star mix that's it yeah six diet cokes and Haribo star mix I don't even of Haribo Star Mix. That's it? Yeah. Six Diet Cokes and Haribo Star Mix.

I don't even eat Haribo anymore, but I like it there because it feels familiar. That's cute. Reminds me. That's cute. Mine is a bag of Coke. I always got to have a bag of Coke. A bag of Coke and a couple of knives. I always want random locally fashioned knives in case I get into a fight in the streets.

My riders are so minuscule. It's kind of shitty. And every time they ask me if I want to change it, it's always Coke in a bottle if they can find it because I love Coke in a bottle. A diet soda of some kind for me or the opener or someone that comes with me that doesn't drink regular. Popcorn. I love popcorn. I want a bag of popcorn. And a veggie tray because I feel like on the road I don't eat well enough.

And I'm like, at least I'll snack some veggies. Yeah, that's a good idea. It's kind of boring. Because I always feel like if I ask for something too demanding, they're going to be like, this guy's fucking annoying. Yeah, and I don't want that attached to my name. I know. You have so much negative stuff already attached to your name. Exactly.

Why add another thing to the list? I don't want that. The diva reputation. I did a show with Mick Hucknall. Yeah. And his rider was Jeroboam of Cristal Champagne and six Activia yogurts. Which I just thought was the weirdest stride ever.

That is so weird. It's so specific. Well, loves his champagne, but also likes to keep it nice and trim. He loves his gut. He wants the... Gut health is good. Gut health is good.

And he doesn't know what, you know, vibe it's going to be after the show, whether it's going to be a, let's champagne spray or... Let's get some natural biotics, some probiotics. Get my bacteria balanced inside of my gut. I do understand that. Maybe every city I should.

I thought about on the next time I tour, which won't be for a long time, because I just put out a special on Netflix and I was like, I don't. Me and Bobby Lee are doing a tour in April of our show and stuff from the show. And then I was like, I don't want to tour until the fall, I don't think. But if I did, I was like, I do want to do something different. I don't want to do like the same run of shows and cities and theaters. So it would be nice to integrate something like this. I'll do a different rider in every city.

That would be very cool too. One city will be my gut health city. One will be my gluttonous city. You know what? I'll just do the seven sins and break them over and over my gut health city. Yeah. One will be my gluttonous city. You know what? I'll just do the seven sins and break them over and over again in every city. Yeah. Right?

And you can do a homage to me when you do the London show and get the Haribo and the Diet Coke. I'll get the Haribo Star... Star Mix. Star Mix. Yeah, yeah. What is that?

I know Haribo gummies, but what's Star Mix? Haribo Star Mix is like the blue packet. Like, just the sort of standard. You say that like we all know what that is. I need to look it up. Haribo Star Mix. Okay.

Ah. Yeah. Ah. I spelled it wrong. Yeah, I got it. I got you. Yeah, it's just the old school. Just old school.

Simple. It's kind of sad, to be honest with you. It is pretty sad. Yeah. Sat on your own in a dressing room just to have Harry in a bag tucking into a bag

of children's sweets just very lonely yeah imagine solitary are you single man or no? I'm not a single man okay

I was going to say if you were it would be very funny if a lady friend came back to say hello she's like what do you got back here Cristal and yogurt?

I have Harrybo and Diet Coke just sit here and chuck them into each other's mouths it back here Cristal and yogurt I have Harrybo and Diet Cokes it's just a sad little party actually put the Harrybo in the Diet Coke that's actually kind of fun takes it back to your childhood

you know but they're a bit racy for me oh that's too over the top that's too over the top come on I'm not an animal I was going to say yeah I don't want to cross that line

on tour though presumably you're not like wanting to come off stage and get fucked up after every show. No, you know what's funny is I like to drink. I'm a drinker. I've always been but I balance

it pretty well. So when I was young, I would do a couple of drinks before the show with friends and eat dinner. Now, if I'm going to have drinks at dinner, it's after the show. Yeah. And depending on the city, I may go out with the opener or some friends and go party,

but it's pretty rare anymore. I don't want to, I don't know. I just don't want to like, and then the next morning, like have that, you know, anxiety. I mean, I'm almost, I'm from 40 this year yeah so so they hit you hard now it caught up yeah all caught up yeah how old are you now i'm 34 yeah you still got two more years left 36 is when they it comes knocking is it yeah 36 death will come knocking he shows up to your front door and he's like hey man enough enough enough Enough. Enough is enough. It might be one trip to the ER.

Yeah. After you fell off a roof in Jersey somewhere. That happens. But no, I think I've slowly but surely learned. Also, question for you, when I'm done, I want to sit in complete silence for at least 10-15

minutes after the show. Are you like that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. A little bit of time to myself. And then I would just want to get out of the venue and I want to go to a... Leave. Yeah, if I'm going to have a drink, I want to get out of the venue.

I don't want to be sat in a dressing room and entertaining loads of people. Because people don't know the aftermath of the show is quite sad. It's pretty lonely. Pretty lonely. And you're just sitting in a room staring down. Even if you had a great set, you're like

just kind of going through your head and the emotions of the night and your emotions are finally registering. It's interesting, we're allowed as comics to just kind of throw all that stuff away. All these real emotions about life. And then they come right back into play as soon as you like sit still for a moment. And that's why

most comics you know try to get out of there have a drink or go eat food or go talk because they don't want to start letting their brain think normal thoughts you know what i mean we like trying to wash it away as fast as we can i did my last tour though it was a completely different experience because i did this show where at the end i did a massive like song and dance musical number with like 15 backing dancers. And it was a whole like production. And so I toured with all of them and did, you know, a 30 night tour. And then every time I came off stage, you would sort of share in the excitement with all of these other people that you were going on tour with.

And it was like being in like a company of people. And it going on tour with and it was like being in a company of people and it was a completely different experience because every night you're like, oh, this is quite fun when you come off stage and you've got people that you're sharing in that kind of excitement with. Yeah, it was like being in a Broadway show. It was great.

Doing a play, you get to the camaraderie together, the pain, the success. That's the difference in stand-up. We're singular failures and singular successes but basically you can pay people to hang out with you as well

yeah yeah yeah I've heard that about you yeah yeah I've heard Jack half of your budget is paying people to hang out with you you should Venmo me

for this at some point during the show some completely self indulgent song and dance number just so that you have some friends on tour maybe I should do that at the end of my show.

And for no reason at all, 50 dancers just to hang out. I mean, part of the thing that we learn is bringing openers, features, and friends so you can have a good friend on the road. Yeah, yeah. Because I don't care how good you are at jerking off. Hotels are sad. And they just turn it.

I've done the tub thing where I've been in a really nice hotel with a standalone tub. And I've eaten dinner in a bathtub, which is, it sounds fun at first. And then when that chicken sandwich gets a little bit of soap on it, it's not as good anymore. It's just, it's just, there's, and you know, going out in a city is also tough sometimes.

So bringing someone to at least go fart around town with you is kind of nice. Disappearing into the night, you know, you do meet fans after the shows. Uh, yeah, yeah. I tend to do that.

All of them. You meet as many people as you can. All of them. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I do. I do a little bit of that. Meet and greets.

Yeah, I'm always really worried that then there's going to be the day you come out and there's no one there. Oh, there will one day. There will. I think you're nowhere near. Come around the corner. I think you're okay for now. I think if I surround myself with enough dancers, then I won't be lonely. You keep putting these dancers on your show, you're going to be just fine. Yeah, I'm going to be just fine.

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But now, this new tour, how many people do you bring with you on this tour? Do you have people coming or no? No, this is just me and my tour manager. No opener? No, I get a local opener in each city. Wow, that is, can I tell you? Is that dangerous?

That's a foolish endeavor. Oh, foolish, why? No, no, no, I'm kidding. Oh, no. No, no, no. No, it's fun no it's fun it's that's very fun you get to try out new stuff you get to have new people like new experiences you don't get in the same kind of rhythm yeah sometimes the it's funny we love rhythm as comedians but

sometimes uh uh these like habitual rhythms of shows and touring and playing and hotel and it gets a little monotonous and it's dangerous sometimes it dries me out comically at least now you're becoming you get something fresh yeah it feels new and then it feels like another experience you're getting to have with someone different something different so no i think that's a good thing i did that for years and years and years when talking about a city when you get there with with someone that's got a good comic brain as well it's so nice it's always really helpful and yeah only be additive to the show if you've had like an hour or so in addressing.

I hope, or it'll be miserable, but you'll find out either way. Yeah, I'll find out either way. How many cities are you doing? I'm doing 15 cities. Do you know them off the top of your head at all or no? No. God bless.

Good for you. Chicago, New York. My city, Chicago. Chicago. I'm from Chicago. What are you playing? Chicago Theater? Chicago Theater. Nice. How many shows? had it all or no no god bless good for you chicago new york my city chicago chicago from chicago what are you playing chicago theater chicago theater nice how many shows uh one show one show in each city although some were doing a couple in one night and then yeah doing the beacon theater in new york great theater beautiful yeah i went there yeah amazing stunning yeah so i'm looking forward to doing that and then doing some dates in Canada as well and then finishing in San Francisco.

The Palace of Fine Arts. The Palace of Fine Arts. Which sounds like an appropriate name for me. Have you been to San Francisco? I have once before. There's shit in the streets. Yes, it's quite a lot. Yeah, it's disgusting.

Great city. Great city. Great city. But just... Is there an area of London? Excuse me. Is that what happens when you think of San Francisco? Yeah, I just start coughing.

I love the city. Is there an area of London that has that sort of wealth disparity? Because I don't know if you know, San Francisco, probably one of the richest, wealthiest per capita places where you'll have someone that's worth $50 million homes and right next door is some of the worst poverty. Is there something like that in London or no? I don't think, to be honest, I don't think it's as bad in London. We do the best, don't we? Say we're number one.

American exceptionalism, you are the best. Homelessness, you've absolutely nailed that. Our wealth disparity is number one big tick yeah well like the big outliers gotta be good at something gotta be good at something

what part of London are you originally from I'm from Putney and I live in Notting Hill Notting Hill we all know very well because of Grant Grant

Hugh Grant no no no Grant Hill the basketball player lived there for a short amount of time I don't know about you Grant didn't you

Hugh Hugh Hugh oh Hugh oh Hugh a lovely man by the way what's the original town called

the original town that you grew up in Putney Putney Putney Putney yeah which is

Putney yeah it's more Putney oh Putney yeah yeahney. Putney. Yeah, which is... Putney, yeah? Yeah, it's more Putney. Oh, Putney. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Putney, isn't it? Yeah. It's very posh. It's very fancy.

It's where they start the boat race, the Oxford and Cambridge boat race. Wow. Full of gastropubs. It's very fancy. It's this, right? Yeah. Everyone has a window by.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Everyone's like that. Oh, Putney, yes. Yes. Lots of gilets and red trousers. Wow. So as a child growing up in such a pretentious area, how did you manage to find a sense of humor?

A sense of humor? Because honestly, you know, like many of us know, sometimes fancy people take themselves very serious. Yeah. And they don't know how to find the gap. How did you find the gap? Yeah. Well, I actually, I think what helped me is I went to university in Manchester.

Call it uni. We call it uni. Uni. Can you imagine? I start teaching you phrases that you say. We call it uni here, but nice try. You went to Manchester. Manchester.

And so I started doing stand-up up there right and then like that i think that really helped like my development as a comedian because uh different from what you're used to so different to what i was used to and you had to work so much harder to to like to nail gigs and also i've sort of found like what my like space was in in terms of like what my kind of comic persona was. And it was sort of sending myself up and doing that outside of the confines of Putney was probably quite beneficial. But when you go back to Putney, are you a hotshot over there when you go back to the Big P? A hotshot in Putney.

I actually got the poshest heckle ever in Putney when I did a gig in Putney. The poshest heckle? So, yeah when I did a gig in punny the poshest heckle so yeah guys do you have argers in America come on man

you speak English will you do we have what argers argers spell it I think A-G-A argers

this is this heckle is definitely not going to work can I tell you something though it sounds like a racial epithet, and I'm nervous about it. The way you're like, have you got augers here?

And I'm like, oh, no, what do they look like? This is one where I'm just like, just reverse. No, no, tell me what it is. No, because it's going to require so much explanation. No, you have to say it. And then it's going to be the lamest hackle ever. An auger is like... Say it into the mic so I can hear you. What is it? It's like to be the lamest heckle ever. An agar is like... Say it into the mic so I can hear you.

What is it? It's like a big oven. It's like a big fancy oven. Got it. Ceramic oven. Right, right. Got it. Now, the other key element to an agar

that you need to know for this heckle to make sense is that an agar is always on. So you never turn off an agar. It's always on. Is this for cooking in the home? It's for cooking in the home, and it heats the home as well because it's always on. So like a stovepipe furnace almost.

A stovepipe furnace, yeah. It's like that kind of vibe. Okay, that's an agar. And I referenced an agar in my set, and I referenced switching. I mean, there's so many elements to the AGA. This is going to land. I promise this is going to land.

I can feel it now in my bones. Oh, God. So, also, AGAs are associated with posh people because big country houses always have AGAs. Because they heat the whole home and it's also very expensive. They heat the whole home. Got it. Anyway, I was doing my AGA bit bit, which fucking kills in putty. It's a killer aga bit.

Oh, my God. This aga bit crushes. Probably won't be doing it in Austin, Texas. No, no, no. Or any of the days. I think you should. Definitely not. I think you should try.

Open with it, maybe. And I'd done a little bit about the aga, and I'd referenced turning on an aga. I'd switched on the aga by accident because I don't even have an aga but I was trying to do a little bit of aga aga humor

to endear myself and a gentleman very aggressively shouted out you can't switch on an aga that is the point and so he was

furious yeah that I hadn't even nailed like my knowledge of agas. Simple aga knowledge. Simple aganomics, which you now know. They're always on. I cannot wait for you now to do a gig in England and do a bit about agas.

There is a challenge. You just spell it A-G-A. Just A-G-A. Aga range cookers. Aga range cookers. And they're cheap. This is only $37,000 for one of these things. Holy shit.

I mean, that is like the Rolls Royce of stoves. Well, it's $37,000 fucking dollars. It better come with a Rolls Royce. The cheap one, by the way, is $23,000. Oh, yeah. That'll be some knockoff ratchet. Argy, you won't want to go near that. If you're going to get an Argy,

you want to... I mean, that's why... You know, this is the thing. This shows my trash colors. I know nothing about this. The closest thing we have on here that I can see an American made is Viking.

Viking, the company that makes stovetops. They've got one for $31,000. And this is for a fucking industrial kitchen, by the way. But the first one you told me about, this is just for someone's home. Just get one for your home, dude. And this is for a fucking industrial kitchen, by the way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But the first one you told me about, this is just for someone's home. Just get one for your home, though.

I'm going to get it. Let me call my wife and ask if we can get an AGA. That would be a real flex. Babe, can we get an AGA? How much money would you have to make to get an AGA? Like, what's the number? What kind of income would I be? What kind of income would you have to be making

to be able to burn 37,000 pounds on a stove. I just feel like, let's see. Let's see what a regular, what's a regular stove, what's a regular stove cost over here? Okay, you can go get a KitchenAid, four grand. Four grand. That's probably the, yeah, right? The highest end one I can find over here,

the cheapest one is a buck and a half. It's like $1,100 for the cheapest one. $800, you get a $600 one. We can go way down. These augers are getting blown out of the water by deals down here. An auger's not about cooking because it's also fucking hard to cook in an auger.

It's about status. And having an auger is like, you know, it's like having a dukedom or title. Another word I don't know. Dukedom. What is that? Oh, no, you don't have dukes here, do you? You mean a jukebox? No, no, like D-U-K-E.

Like if one was a duke, if you were made a duke by the king, then it would be a dukedom. You know, we left you guys a long time ago because of this kind of nonsense. This is why we got free. I was like, I've just managed to get through the aga conversation without having all egg on my face. Jesus Christ. I'm straight into dukedoms.

You know what? Do some aga dukedom stuff when you get to Austin, Texas. They're going to love it. What? What did he say? Is he talking bad about us? I had a friend who is like aristocracy and he has this inherited title

that he will one day become. I think he's like an earl and he lives in Scotland. And so he had to do this thing where he was sent over to America to do one of those functions where there's all these people that have, like Americans with Scottish ancestry that go and visit and learn

about their heritage. Rich people, just say rich people. Rich people. Yeah, just say rich people. Rich people go and then they have like highland dancing and stuff and they happen in like big convention centers in wherever, Nevada. This is the Illuminati, by the way. Yeah, it's nuts.

They're drinking kid blood. I know what this is. Yeah. I know what this is. Yeah, I know what this is. And he said that when he was coming over and he was going through like security and being asked about

like the purpose of his stay and what he was doing over here. And he kept saying that he was over here with his clan. And I was like, I feel like that's risky. It's a bad idea.

That's a bad idea to be talking about although he although he had an accent but he has an accent yeah he had an accent so they can get away with it so they just about got away with it but i was like i definitely probably wouldn't be like shouting about that when he's like the boys and i the clan yeah it's my fellow clansmen no no what what makes your fellow clansmen we share the same ideologies and hatred and love that is a loaded word

yeah get rid of that word get rid of that word that's just not gonna work out I need some rebranding yeah we need to get rid of that bad but also shame on the clan for taking the word clan

because I like clan like me and my clan my clique my friends my group why do they get it just because they had it they tagged it

also they have clan with a K. We have a clan with a C. We'll take C. Why can't we take the C clan and they take the K clan? They've ruined it. They really have. It's like Hitler with that mustache.

Nobody can do that. Nobody can ever do that again. Nobody can ever do that again. It frames the face in a nice way. It is quite nice. The little Hitler mustache is actually very nice. He took away a lot of fun stuff, that guy.

You know, when you think about it. I mean, like inherently every time I see a Mercedes G-Wagon, immediately. I'm always like, well, that was a war car. That was a wartime Nazi car. My dad has that car. I know he does. I can feel it. He does.

I can feel that he's got one. You can feel the tension when you said it. Yeah, when I said it, you were like... And he's also not a shrinking violet when talking about it. He's very much... This is Hitler's car. Okay, please do not announce that. It makes it now seem like that's why you bought the car.

I mean, it could be part of it. But yeah, he would have had that knowledge before purchasing it. Yeah, we all knew. But I think he bought the car so that then he could make everyone uncomfortable by announcing that it's Hitler's car. Yeah, that's a fun bit. Then that goes back to fun again. It's a fun dad bit.

It's a dad bit. It's a dad bit. Get on in. Hitler's car. And then that's a quick, and everyone goes, come on. Yeah, that's fun. I've actually seen, I'm not going to, I cannot disclose any more than this. I've seen with my own two eyes one

of hitler's cars really i know a gentleman who's a very very uh wealthy car collector yeah uh who has collected mercedes uh for i don't know 40 years 30 years and his collection is extremely extensive. And one of the cars that he has is so old and so specific, they assume years later that it could have been one of his cars. When it was purchased, that wasn't the knowledge. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was just one of a few very special versions of this Benz. And years later, he learned that that might have been his car. There's no proof of it at all.

Yeah. But it's crazy. And I thought, well, the value just goes way up then. I was like, what do you do with it, knowing that knowledge? He's like, well, I mean, you can't prove it. So it's only for car collector conversations and speculation. Yeah, yeah. Because there is no paperwork to prove it whatsoever.

But I thought, how? Copy of Mein Kampf in the glove compartment. That is in speculation. Yeah, yeah. Because there is no paperwork to prove it whatsoever. But I thought, how? Copy of Mein Kampf in the glove compartment. That is in there. Yeah. Yeah, that is in there. And there's a whole bunch of swastikas all over the place, but I just figured that could be just a coincidence. Yeah, that could be a coincidence.

That could have just been the previous owner in a fit of rage. There's a guy. This is a good Google, and I've lost myself down a rabbit hole once and it was I was right

it was because I was researching for a script and doing it again how to join a clan how to join a clan there's a one of the big

I think the biggest owner of Nazi memorabilia is this English guy who lives on a farm in Norfolk and he has just so much stuff

and then the weirdest detail is that he paid like I mean, aga money for Hitler's bed and he sleeps in Hitler's bed I mean, what? Wait, he sleeps every night in Hitler's bed? I think he's married as well

I think there's a Mrs. Nazi Nazi memorabilia collector and they have sex in Hitler's bed. They sleep in Hitler's bed. Ugh. I mean, how has his life

led him to that? I would love to know what it feels like. I just want to know. I know it's good for people to have hobbies and interests and stuff. Is it a comfortable

bed, do you imagine? I don't. I bet you it's hard as a rock. I don't think Hitler slept well. He had the energy of a man that

maybe he'd got out of bed on the wrong side every morning I received no sleep this evening why can't I sleep the talk is on this tube

why hasn't my aga arrived that's why he started that whole thing his aga was late he ordered it months months ago and they just

finally got around to it you know the comedians Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer they give each other gifts every year for their birthday, and they always one-up each other. One year, it was a jet ski, a wave runner, and the other year, it was a car. And this year, Segura got Kreischer, you should look this up, it's a great video, he got him Hitler's teacup. Oh my gosh.

Like, literally Hitler's teacup. Wow. One of his teacups. So, Bert took a sip, his lips touch Hitler's teacup. Oh my God. Like literally Hitler's teacup. Wow. One of his teacups. So Bert took a sip. His lips touch Hitler's lips, hypothetically. So he's Kiss Hitler. It's a great bit. That's great.

It's repulsive, but man, what a good bit. But also this stuff has to get bought at some point. And also I realized in talking about this great car collector who I know who's in our business, everyone immediately at home is- Is going to know who- Well, they're probably thinking it's Jay Leno because he owns a million cars. Jay Leno owns Hitler's car.

That was the car that Seinfeld drove in Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee. By the way, props to Jerry. That was bold, but I really, that was bold. I always wanted to do one of those with him. I don't know Jerry at all, but I thought, because I love cars. I really, really love cars.

Cars and golf. I love cars and golf. It's the only two things I— And whiskey. Those all kind of—golf, whiskey, got to go hand in hand. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I love cars and golf and whiskey, and so probably the only thing I spend any money on. I don't like fancy stuff.

I like to play golf with friends, to have a really nice conversation. And I really enjoy vehicles so much. And particularly now because we're turning into an engine-less society, which I know is coming. I really enjoy engines so much. I think there's something so sexy about hearing it and feeling it. And knowing somebody built it with their hands is wild to me. If you can still get your hands on a hand-built car but i just uh i have a that's one thing i think if i made a a lot of money

i would waste it on cars yeah like i i think if i made so much money like a leno type of guy i get why he has a garage full of toys yeah because it's like you could take it's how you know how these shoe collector guys that have like 800 pairs of jordans other it's the same thing it's like you could take, it's how, you know how these shoe collector guys that have like 800 pairs of Jordans? It's the same thing. It's like, oh, I get to do that whenever I want. I could take it out for a spin. Yeah.

But. Well, see, I would not be a petrol head. Nor would I be a sneaker head. Sneaker head, you would be. I would not be a sneaker head. What are you ahead of?

I would be an auger head. You're an auger head. I would get a big garage and I would just fill it with augers. I can't drive. So that prohibits somewhat my interest in cars i physically cannot drive you have an astigmatism you can't see that far what is it though you just have never driven i just have never driven as a london-born lad yes you didn't have a car i didn't have a car i was the youngest in my year group so everyone had already learned to drive by the time I could learn to drive,

and it wasn't cool anymore or exciting. Yeah. But I should have done it then, and then I just kept putting it off. I've had like one lesson, and I was crap, and then gave up. Was it manual? Yeah, manual. And that's even scarier because it's on the wrong side. And I was terrible.

You guys build them on the wrong side. Yeah, we do. The irony of that is, correct me if I'm wrong, the reason that you're on that side is because it was mimicking, when jousting, right, you joust on your right side. You're making that up. No, I'm promising. Really?

Well, you joust on your right side, correct? Most people are right-handed in the world yes and by the way shout out to lefties yeah but my the imagination was you joust on your right side yeah so you pass on the left of somebody yeah so that right well no i think it definitely holds up i think i think that's why i read that one time that was a theory of why and you know what for the sake of the show it's a fact it's a fact but I imagine I read it somewhere and maybe I'm lying

but who gives a shit but that's what it made sense to me when I read it that it was like right you would use your right hand to joust meaning you must pass on the left because two righties would go that way I think that's great and even if that isn't a fact it should become a fact well let's make up another one the other reason that the car is on the right-hand side,

you pass on the left, is because during, in 1640, what is it? 1646 or 7? I don't remember. 1646, one of the Louis, his brother attacked him over his, over his right shoulder, right? He stabbed him in the neck

and from thence on, from thence on, he decided, you must be able to quickly turn this way. Yes. But you can't do that if you're on the other,

so that's the other, one of the other reasons. Yeah. You know the other reasons that you guys drive on that side of the road? Yeah, everything is jousting based

in our law and everything that we do, if you dig into it, it all, it's all jousting based. All roads lead back to jousting-based in our law, and everything that we do, if you dig into it, it all... It's all jousting-based. All roads lead back to jousting. Even Argus. Even Argus.

Even Argus, which are from jousting days. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because the jouster would come in having had a hard joust and wouldn't have time to turn on an oven and wait for it to heat up, so he needed a device that was always on, which is why the Argus exists.

He would walk in and go, can't this just stay on? Jousters. Can't this leak gas all day? Have you ever ridden a horse, by the way? Yeah. You have?

Yeah, I've said that like, yeah. Yeah, you did. You did. I've just admitted that I, a 34-year-old man, I can't drive, but of course I can ride a horse.

I'm not an idiot. Putney. Yeah, that was a very Putney response. That was a very Putney response. Have you ridden a horse? To be ridiculous. Of course I've ridden a horse. You're that was a very Putney response. That was a very Putney response. Have you ridden a horse? To be ridiculous. Of course I've ridden a horse. In Putney, you're born on a horse.

Your mother's on a horse and shuts you out. Can you imagine coming out of the horse and then riding away? I've been on a horse one time. How did it joust in Poland? That's right. Off you go. As you begin life. As you begin life.

I've been on a horse one time. Miserable. Scared. Hated it. You or the horse? both, we agreed, we turned to each other never again the power of the horse

is so scary I think when people see a horse and they see people riding a horse because it looks effortless they're like, what's the big deal? get on one of those things it scared the shit out of me because I had zero control.

And in my imagination, I don't belong on a horse. He don't want me on him. So what, holding him back from at some point being like, fuck off me, and throwing me off

and breaking my neck. And I don't, I don't like it. I'm a no-no horse guy. And they can sense that. That's why he threw me off. They can sense. So when you're nervous, they know. Yeah. But you, a Putnam boy-no horse and they can sense that that's why he threw me off you can sense so when you're nervous they know yeah but you a putnam boy oh no they know they can tell

that like we're kindred and when i get on a horse they they relax i've done the horse dancing the dressage you do that i've done that where it does this yeah with a little clippity clop just man you know when you walked in and we talked i liked you a lot now I don't as much anymore let me ask you something else because we people's bingo cards are filling up by the way as well

we've got Argus Dressage Jousting it got heavy yeah it got heavy but also I'm reserving some of my judgment because I do know

you're a fancy Brit and I want to keep you in my good graces yes just because I know at some point I'm going to be back over there yeah I'm going to I want to keep you in my good graces. Yes. Just because I know at some point, I'm going to be back over there. Yeah.

I'm going to be able to call you. Yeah. And go, show me around town, baby boy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Show me around the Big P. Oh, yeah, the Big P. Show me around the Big P.

Round Potters. I do, man, do I have a soft spot in my heart for London for some reason. Of the many times I've been over there, it's just a place that I really fall in love every time. And I refuse to go to London when it has, well, this is an oxymoron, but good weather.

I refuse. I refuse to go to London when it's like your nice week or whatever you guys have. I don't like it. Summer. Yeah, yeah, some summer. I always go in the winter. I love the dead of winter.

Yes. It's my favorite. Cold, dark, miserable. Because also you guys aren't that cold. I'm from Chicago. You couldn't even come close to the cold that we feel. No, that's true. So your winters are shit anyway. They're bullshit.

Yeah. They're fine. It's a little bit of snow and it's, you know, whatever, 34, 35 degrees, which is whatever nonsense backwards, upside down number scale that you guys have in Celsius, which makes more sense than us, but I'm not going to admit it. But anyway, it's never that bad. It's always like, oh, this stinks, but who cares? It was in Chicago, it was negative 12.

Yeah, it's not real. At some point you're like, is this fake? I feel like this is fake. Is someone doing this? This is a bit. There's got to be a good bit. It's a bit. But I've always had this very sexy fantasy of London

because every time I've gone, I've been showed such a good time by friends. I have friends that live over there now, people that are from there. And it's never let me down. I've never once gone and been like, man, it was kind of a whatever trip. That town just always has something to discover. Hub culture, do you like that? I do, I do like that, but what I really like is, I like to go see, you know, the local shit. Take me to a good museum.

Take me to like a good sexy area that has certain nightlife. Not just pub life, but that there is, there's a lot of artsy bullshit around London you can get yourself into. Yeah, yeah. I'm not going to leak any of these spots. There's a few things I could talk to you about off air. But I feel like every time I go, I get into some kind of fun trouble with a group of goofballs.

And it's just so freeing. And I thank you for that. Thank you. Thank you for all that you've done. As the mayor. As the mayor of London. As the mayor of London. As the mayor of London.

I miss it. I miss it. You should, because it's beautiful where do you stay when you're here do you stay long periods in LA or do you just bounce back and forth until you leave I stay with an English friend of mine

who now lives out here do I know who it is is it a famous person no just a bloke don't care about him because he you know I surround myself with British people when I come out here. You have to.

How long are you here for in LA? I'm here for two more weeks. Let me say this. I'm gone tomorrow. I'll never see you again. But no, I'm gone. But when you ever come back, you ring me.

I'm as close to British as you can get. You okay? Yeah, you have British energy. Because I'd like to hang out with you and do this thing in the real world because um i really like your rhythm and boy do you got long legs and i want to see that out in public i want to see you what i want to see these bad boys for his i want to see those fancy horse steppers out in public baby yeah uh tell me this before i get away from it because my my brain is like tree roots it'll just go into places it doesn't belong I want to know about

your whiskey investment because we talked about you and your friend are getting into the are you pulling to sell or are you pulling to give away? Like are you making

a batch to sell? A batch yeah yeah to sell like quite a limited run of it initially I bought two casks

and I'm going to do a blend You got two casks two casks and how'm going to do a blend. You got two casks? Two casks. And how long has it been aging? One of them is called, what's it called? Dundas? I think it's called Dundas. Dundas.

It's like 15-year age. 15 is good? Yeah, yeah. What about the other one? Do you know? The other one? No, no, less. Much less.

Yeah, and then we're going to blend them and call it Soho Whiskey Soho Whiskey Soho Whiskey I like so much and I will send you some please honestly I

like I love to try new stuff especially shout out to my boy Whiskey Pete Whiskey Pete sends stuff all the time he's the boy that sent us some of the jazz that we had up there

amazing and honestly going to pull from a cask yourself to taste and mix the blend it's so I feel like a child. That's my Harry Bow moment.

Yes. When I pull from there and I get to mix and taste like the different versions that whatever distiller has put together, it's fascinating to me. Because I think people – it's easy to be, whiskey kind of all tastes the same to me. People do say that sometimes. Like, I don't really. But I think once you really get a couple of good ones, you go, oh, oh, this is different. Like the first time you really got into good wine, like I was never a wine guy. My wife loves wine.

And we would go out and finally when we got a couple of bucks, we'd buy a nice bottle begrudgingly because I was like, it's foot grapes. Why do I want to spend all this money on foot grapes? And when you have a good bottle,udgingly because I was like it's foot grapes why do I want to spend all this money on foot grapes and when you have a good bottle you go oh shit fuck

the difference is unbelievable right I feel the same way about this so hopefully Soho Whiskey will live up to its name I was not into whiskey at all

and then I went and did a whiskey tour with a friend of mine he taught me into going up to Scotland and we visited loads of distilleries and I was like

it's just not really my bag and then within a week i was just like a full-blown whiskey ball i was like i'd found my dram what you need to do um and if you ever do another um netflix series uh don't take your dad take me and me and you can go do the bourbon run oh my god american whiskey bourbon in kentucky have you know i really want to do that i gotta tell you man you would because the difference is right like um you know scott the scots and the history with with with scottish whiskey is generations and generations similar to what happens down in the bourbon world right yeah but for us and not to be diminutive because these are my people i love them very much,

but it's, you know, like what we would say, like good old boys. It's kind of like people's people. Do you know what I mean? There's nothing really fancy about it. Even the most expensive, high-end, successful operations. And you're talking, these companies are making hundreds of millions of dollars a year. They're still the same old, good old boys where they were. Yeah. Because it's a cultural, it's a cultural thing. It's a part of their world is not, they're not driving a Ferrari around Louisville because they're multimillionaires. No, they're reinvesting it in these companies to build out these whiskey brands, to make them sexier and bigger and more available. And it's just, there's something different about bourbon run when you go down to all these distilleries that have history to them and a lot of times you'll meet somebody whose dad's dad's dad has been working there and it's passed down and they teach them all of the intricacies of it

i think it's fascinating i mean because there's something so rich about preserving the culture because like anything else not to sound like an old fart, but, you know, things like that can die very easily. And if you don't preserve stuff at all, if you don't have any kind of tradition, it's like, it goes away. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And it's hard in America because every tradition, you know, tends to get criticized because a lot of times here, they're like, was that a racist tradition? And you're like,

I didn't know. I didn't know. I just thought, I just thought it was fun but I do think one day if you get a chance let's do the bourbon run together

I will do seriously I'll fly to Kentucky a Brit Brit and a Ginge Ginge and the Brit Ginge and the Brit Ginge and the Brit

Ginge and the Brit would be great Ginge and the Brit whenever I go by the way they think I'm one of you when I go to the UK they think I'm British yeah so people talk to me like a local

yeah yeah you know how you change your tone when you realize it's an American? Like if an American's in London and a Brit will come up to me and give me kind of like a you alright and I'll go, oh yeah, hi, yeah, thank you. And they're like, and they immediately

check out because they know I'm not one of them. You fuck me right off. It's so wild. Which is the opposite. When we meet a Brit here, we're like, like you're a new toy for us to play with why is it you guys don't like us that much

no I think I do speak for the country not you I do you do I do they don't

they yeah they don't they hate us I mean yeah they don't probably recent current affairs hasn't helped

yeah yeah our track record's tough yeah i mean but hey dude you guys did brexit you're not perfect either don't fucking look at us like we're bad boys all right you guys are bad boys too yeah we're bad oh no i mean don't get me wrong we're definitely bad boys but i think don't get me wrong we're bad boys yeah you're bad boys but also it's it's just like the way that you guys understand or treat Americans

is always very funny when we go over there I try my best to not be super American when I'm there because I know you're judging me the whole fucking time

I just can feel it in my bone unless I go to a shitty pub shitty pub there is no judgment but even if you order loudly

in your American accent, you don't feel the like, velociraptor heads. Nah, they're all drunk. They're all drunk. If it's a local spot, like a local neighborhood spot, I'm very quiet and sneaky.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. If it's a loud shitty pub, I don't care. At that point, you could just be so drunk that you're talking in an American accent. One of the locals.

You know what I mean? One of the locals. A local that lost his accent. Yeah. He's just doing it for James. Can you imagine waking up one day losing your accent? You sound like me. How wild would that be?

If one day you woke up. Can you speak with an American accent? I think people think that when I come back, I have American affectations. Well, you probably lose a little bit. And they absolutely destroy me. They do? No, because you have to get into little habits

when you're out here, like asking for water instead of water. May I have water? So you don't have someone constantly going, Let me hear your American accent. Can you do it? Say, hey, it's great to be here on the Whiskey Ginger podcast. Hey, it's great to be here on the Whiskey Ginger podcast.

That's wonderful. That sounds way better than the other shit that you've been doing the whole time. That is really good, actually. You do a very good job. Would you ever do an acting role of an American accent the whole time. That is really good, actually. You do a very good job. Would you ever do an acting role of an American accent the whole time? I did do one. You did?

Yes. When did you do it? I did Clifford the Big Red Dog, and I was American in that. Okay, but wait a minute. No. Animated? No.

Live action. And I had an American accent in it. And I thought I'd done quite a good job of the American accent, and then the movie came out here, and it was well-received received and no one said anything. And then it came out in England. And oh my God, the amount of abuse on Twitter for my American accent from British people

going, why the fuck is he talking like that? It doesn't sound anything like an American. I think what you just did sounded good. Fuck all those people that criticized you. Yeah, fuck them. How about this? Say, great job, Clifford. Now let's go to the. How about this? Say, great job, Clifford. Now let's go to the park.

Let's hear that. Great job, Clifford. Now let's go. Sorry. You sound Spanish. No, I'm a bit Spanish. Great job, Clifford. Great job, Clifford.

Now let's go to the park. God, that sounds so good. Yeah? That's pretty creepy. Yeah. See, that's how I think that you guys are putting on the other thing. What? This is what you really sound like.

And this whole war is all fake yeah you fucking phonies get some of those parts that Tom Hiddleston's unavailable for so there was a lot of discourse about my American accent which people were obviously able to suspend their disbelief to buy a 10 foot

red dog but the idea of me being American was just too much and that just took them out of the movie why couldn't you have been British in the film it's baffling as to why I couldn't be British in the film as well that always bothers me my sister's British in the film as well and then the daughter

is American it's very confusing I don't like that when they do that why couldn't you just be British I never got that look unless it's such a I don't like that when they do that. Why couldn't you just be... I never got that. Look, unless it's such a... It pulls such a big part of the story, I understand. But Nicole Kidman, for the most part of her career,

speaks with an American accent. You almost always see her as an American. She's not. But every role I fucking see her in, she's an American. Gerardler's nailed it because he has a sort of and liam neeson where they have like a little bit of a transatlantic lil but it's basically their own voice butler more than more than liam because butler kind of sounds like he's from everywhere a little bit he sounds like an american doing a scottish accent

yeah and even when he tones it down you're like this is just a traveled guy my dad would have business men friends sometimes I'd meet and they didn't live anywhere they lived everywhere they would have this kind of like a little bit of an accent but not really you didn't know where it is and you're like what is that are you British or sometimes you get Australian in there and then you're like what are you

and they're like well I lived in London for like a couple of decades and then you're like what are you and they're like well I lived in London for like a couple of decades and then it would like it travels around the globe how the fuck did you and he has that it's like a composite he does he kind of has this like I've touched everything it's like what Johnny Depp wanted it to be

but it didn't it turned out to just be creepy my kids was like very confused and you're like no no no it's not working Madonna does the same thing too god bless her but like fucking when I heard her sometimes she's got like a British

it's like it's like it's like if someone was doing a jokey British accent yes but they didn't mean it yeah when they're like you know

yeah that's how it's really gonna be you know it's like a but and a piece of you would be like are you fucking around they're like i'm just kidding i'm just kidding but she's stuck with it for some reason it is infectious i love um my one of my favorite performances in any movie is uh sean connery in the untouchables where he does american for like two scenes and then he's like fuck it i'm sean connery just suddenly turns back into Sean Connery.

Well, you know what happened. I'm sure during the filming too that they were like, this is, we just cut it out. This is fucking awful. Even the editors are like, I don't know,

we're never going to be able to do this. Just let him just do him. Just let him do him. Well, most of those guys from that generation too, you kind of banked on them being them. Right? It was kind of like, that was what was so appealing about them

was they were so uniquely them that you were like, well, that's what people want to see until you got the new generation. Not to say that it didn't happen before, but the Daniel Day-Lewis or people that kind of like shape-shifted. It's a newer idea. I know it's been around for a long time in cinema,

but it is something wild about in the last I would say 20 years 30 years you would see actors like go so far away from themselves that sometimes you wouldn't even fucking know who they are which I always Tom Hardy did that a lot where I was always like who the fuck is this guy

who is this guy I'm going to throw something at you give it Tom Hardy fellow party boy I went to the same school as Tom Hardy who the fuck is this guy? Who is this guy? I'm going to throw something at you and it's going to blow your mind. Give it. Tom Hardy. Yeah. Fellow partying boy.

I went to the same school as Tom Hardy. We are from the same neck of the woods. Our parents are friends. You know him? I've met him a couple of times. I met him. No, I met him. My wife wants to have sex with him.

Yeah, he's a very handsome guy. She said it a lot. She says it a lot. Yeah, it's kind of a lot. At some point I was like okay that's enough of that yeah but she really really likes him I saw him

when I was in LA if you can get my wife to fuck Tom Hardy yeah well I don't think we're that close I don't know whether I would be able to just

call him out of the blue and say would you fuck Andrew's wife you fuck my friend's wife cheers that's all it would take yeah

just give me a little bit yeah just try I might I think I feel like I might need to not break him down and that's not being

disparaging about your wife I just feel like I might need to reach out and cultivate this before he gets with old fatty bones at your house old

the old slag that you're with no she's always said and it's so funny because she always that's she thinks he's so handsome and

so lovely and so talented and I agree, which is annoying. I want to disagree. You know what I mean? It's like if your significant other is like, oh, he or she is so wonderful. You want to be like, they're not that good. They're fine. But with him, you're like, it's fucking annoying. I'm like, I know.

I'm another girl in the room. I know. He is. He's so fucking talented. It's just one of those people where he's polarizing. I'm like, I know. I'm another girl in the room. I know. He is. He's so fucking talented. It's just one of those people where he's polarizing. He's got that thing. He's able to just get away with stuff that I think normally would come across as, you know, I don't know, contrived. I mean, sometimes people do stuff and when they transform, you're like, that's corny. But not that guy.

Okay. But also, I don't know if he, like, what his base level is. Like, he doesn't really, no,

because he's like, they don't exist. Why does it say, like, he should sound like me. And I met him and he came over, and he's like,

oh, Jack, how are you, mate? And he's got, like, the gold tooth and the tattoos.

But I think he's just like, I don't know, like. He is one and the tattoos. Great to see you, Jack. But I think he's just like, I don't know. He is one with the universe. He's not ours anymore, man. No. That's why he's such a great actor. So he's a P-dog. He's a P-dog.

He's from the P. He's a P-dog. By the way, we jousted together in sixth form. You said P-do for some reason. P-do, no, no, no. He's a P-dog. No, no, he's not a P-dog. He's a P-dog. He's a P-dog. He's from the P. From said pedo for some reason. Pedo? No, no, no. He's a pedo. No, no, he's not a pedo. He's a pee dog.

He's a pee dog. He's from the pee. From the big pee. Big pee. Back in the day, we were jousting, homies. Yeah, we were jousting. So he grew up in your, anybody else from your area

that's like of note? Like on the Wikipedia page from your high school, are you the one? No. I actually have a bit about this in my routine. Do you?

Yeah, because I complained about it. Do you want to burn it now or no? Do it. Put it on tape. So no, it's a genuine gripe that I went to a school

that so many famous people went to that I'm like the dirty secret. And so it's Emma Watson and Tom Hiddleston went to the school. And so Robert Pattinson. Oh.

Yeah. So whenever they write about the school in newspapers, it's always them and I'm the dirty secret. And on the website, I'm right down the bottom. Where's Jack?

Also, it doesn't help that W is your last name. It's either the bottom of the bottom anyway. Bottom of the bottom. And they figured he won't care. He's just white. It's not the bottom. It's not that big of a deal. That's sad that so many nice, famous people went,

successful, famous people. But then, so the bit I do is I complain about this and say that I've complained about it a lot and then this is true that there was a news story about a teacher that had been arrested because they'd found

a load of indecent images on his laptop and in the Daily Mail it was pervert teacher arrested at Jack Whitehorse former school and I was name dropped

for the first time ever and there was a picture of me and there was a picture of this like pedo teacher. Were you smiling, Vic? Fucking carted out in handcuffs. And then finally, I'm now the one that they want to talk about when they reference this school. And it's that fucking story.

Claim to fame is claim to fame. Claim to fame is claim to fame. That's who you are. That's what you represent. Emma Watson, Robert Pattinson. Yeah. Hiddleston. Yeah.

Wow. Emma Watson's got to be younger than you for sure. She's two years younger than me. Right. She got cast in Harry Potter when I was at school. Which one is she in Harry Potter? Is she Harry? She's Harry.

No, Hagrid. She's Hagrid? Yeah. You're the same age, but Pattinson's got to be the same age though, isn't he? Yeah, he was the year above me. Were you friends with any of these humans or no? Tell me you had some Robert Pattinson's got to be the same age though. He was the year above me. Were you friends with any of these humans or no? Tell me you had some Robert Pattinson beef. Yeah, well, I basically did two whole shows

that were all about my vendetta against Robert Pattinson because he got cast in all of the plays over me and my mom would always compare us. So I did these shows where I just fucking torchedbert pattinson and it was me being really angry and jealous uh and like one show that ended with me like reading out a load of um unofficial biographies of him sat on stage like just just fucking trashing him basically and that was like two shows that i that i did on tour and did it on TV and did it on that cut runs deep

huh yeah but then I then I bumped into him six or seven years later and he was so nice and I just felt awful

that's what you get for being a bad boy yeah for being a dick you're a dick that's what you get and it was and also it was all

all of the slander back then was about how he was a terrible actor and Twilight and how wooden he was. And not only did he have the last laugh in as much as when he met me, he was lovely, but then he also proved to everyone

that he was a fantastic actor and has now done all these brilliant films where he's really good. And look at you. Well. Long hair. Batman trailer was released on the same day

that Paramount released a trailer for Clifford the Big Red Dog where Clifford urinates on my chest. And they were both put out into the world at the same time. Who won that war? Who won that war, eh? Listen up, Pat.

Me getting a golden shower from the Big Red Dog and you are the Batman. He wins again. I feel like that should be, you should continually now dog him because now it's fun. Now it's punching up forever

and it's nothing but fun. You should. I also did a thing. Oh, it's so awful. I did like a charity pantomime. You know pantomimes? You know pantomimes. Yeah, but a charity pantomime. You know pantomimes? You know pantomimes. Yeah, but a charity pantomime?

What do you mean? It was like some one-off show that they did in Notting Hill to raise money for a theater. And they said, we do this silly pantomime. Would you come and do the cameo? And I was like, well, fucking no one's going to find out. And it's one night. And so I'll go and I went to do this pantomime and it was dick

whittington or something and they had to be this costume and it was like tights and job pers and it was a it was a humiliating costume to get into but then i looked out and i was like 300 people in here and again you know no one's gonna know no one's gonna know 300 people are gonna know went out on stage and i and doing some fucking embarrassing tawdry dance dressed in jodhpurs and

and then there's a load of children on stage sort of hurling abuse at me because that was the bit it was good bit it was humiliating

yeah and then I looked out and I saw Robert Pattinson and he was just sat there with his hot girlfriend and they he had some the girlfriend had some connection

to the person that ran the show patty wins again patty wins again me there dancing in period costume i wanted my nemesis just like the the grin on his face and he doesn't really smile much but he was fucking ear to ear he was was like, look at this prick. You know what? Career's going well, eh? Honestly, fuck him. You know, I like him, but fuck him now. Now after all this, fuck him. Fuck him.

He's too successful. He's too successful. He's winning all over the place. I know. And still living rent free up there. Yeah. What do you mean? He's got a huge flat up there.

Oh, a huge flat. That's got to be 10,000 square feet up there. 10,000 square feet up there. That's massive. He's got six huge flat oh a huge flat that's fucking that's like gotta be 10,000 square feet 10,000 square feet that's massive he's got six bathrooms up there six augers he needs his bathroom yeah six augers

up there as well yeah and every hot woman he's ever dated is just dancing around dancing around in my head yeah but you do fine with women

there's no way you don't you're a handsome guy you're affable you come from P-town I got long legs you got long stems yeah you know what I mean

I imagine that you've always been fine with imagine that you've always been fine with the women you've always had no problem did you have a problem when you were young yeah yeah what do you talk about

hideous child were you really a young boy yeah hideous child had big goofy teeth yeah glasses braces British affectation

you had very British but then how did you look so American now you look normal well do you want to hear a big humble brag? Uh-huh. Have the same orthodontist as Prince Harry and Prince William?

Whoa. Smile for the camera real fast. Look at those chompers. Oh, yeah. Now, who do we like more, Harry or William? Also, which one's which? Harry is me Harry is you

Harry's the redhead right Harry's the redhead yeah yeah I go there people joke Harry that's a bit people think it's funny

yeah I go down Southern California to Mexico people think I'm Canelo the boss oh yeah yeah yeah Canelo wait I'll hear that all the time

hello it's funny Canelo very accomplished great Harry also you know the breakaway king of the royal fam, the breakout star,

you know. Not a great lookalike to have these days back in England. You might not be as welcoming as pubs. Yeah,

I know. Well, the ginger thing is a weird, I don't know what it is with you guys. I thought this was a word that you don't use.

Ginger? Yeah, I've been told to change that one. I've made, not that I make ginger jokes. Go on. One I have referenced.

The redheaded community in my show. In America, I've been told to tweak it. No. So here's the deal. The reason that is is because ginger is – that's interesting. You saying ginger in America yeah

it may be lost on people yeah uh just because of your fanciness yeah but

um it's just it's a term of endearment yeah for us to say that's our word yeah now you can call

you say ginger at most but you can't say ginger no just ginger yeah yeah you better not say the hard R can't say ginger. No. It's ginger. Yeah. Yeah. You better not say the hard R.

Don't say the hard R. Don't hard R me. No, but also when you guys say ginger, I do think it just comes off different than when we say it for some reason. But people don't call me ginger. We,

I do it. Brits do, right? Yeah, no, yeah, Brits do, but in America they don't.

I've used it just because I've, I've loved it. I think it's, it definitely is a term of endearment. It's funny how it's an insult from Brits do but in america they don't i've used it just because i've i've loved it i think it's it definitely is a term of endearment it's funny how it's an insult from brits but you're like that's not an insult at all it's yeah yeah it's interesting it's uh because the ginger root is red or well orange is red yeah it's not really an insult no it's it's a pretty shitty insult i mean it could there's so many other things you could say yeah like we say fire crotch was kind of our favorite as a kid. Fire crotch?

Fire crotch. What's that, sir? Well, like your pubes are red. Oh. Fire crotch. Fire crotch. You could take that back over the pond. Yeah, oh my God, yeah.

Don't lose that in the air. Keep that one in your pocket. Fire crotch. What's some other good ones? I mean, I don't know. I'm trying to think of the ones that we would say in America that would be similar. But ginger is an insult over there to gingers, but I don't know why they would trying to think of the ones that we would say in America that would be similar. But ginger is an insult over there to gingers.

But I don't know why they would get offended. It's not an offensive word. It's just not. I don't get it. But also, I think many, if not most, if not all of the redheads, men in Britain are very ugly. And I'm one of the ones that got out. I got away. When you brought the gene to America, for some reason, we made a handsome version.

Yeah. But over there, a lot of fours. Yeah. A lot of fours and fives. Prince Harry was probably one of the anomalies. Might be one of the closest to being against,

but now he's gone. I'm still better looking at that guy. Vote down below if I'm better looking at Prince Harry. But you know I am. And you know I am. And you just know I am. I don't care that he married a girl off TV

who forced him to leave the royal family because she just couldn't keep up with everything. What a pussy, by the way. Stick it out, you bitch. Stick it out, lady. Just buck up. Stick it out. Do the rituals.

Do the rituals. Just a little curtsy. That's all they asked for. That's all they want. That's all they want. And a blood sacrifice, but it's like, you'll get there. You'll get there. No, it is funny to think how I remember when I went, I went, God, I can't believe I haven't even said this to you.

I went, I couldn't afford study abroad when I was in college, but I did an exchange program. And I found one school that would exchange with my school. And they were called the University of Sussex in Brighton, England. Shout out to the University of Sussex. And this is 2004, quite a long time ago. And 2004, I think, four or five, something like that. And I went down there and London was much different. So much different now over the years that I've gone back.

It's so wild. But I went down to Brighton and I learned about the ginger hate that London has for some reason. They really do. And when I would go up to London, I'd get a couple mockings for the ginger, you know? And then they would also be like, where are you from? And I'd say, oh, America, Chicago. And then they'd go, what are you doing here?

I'd say, oh, I'm going to school. Where? I'd say, oh, I'm Brighton. And they would lose it. They'd go, are you gay? I said oh I'm going to school where I said oh I'm Brighton and they would lose it they'd go are you gay everyone what's the other one

what's the word like a mincer or something like that or whatever it's another derogatory term for gay people but they would say that and I had no idea

what the fuck they were talking about but I guess it was like a big gay port town or something like that yeah I think it still has that connotation because I think it probably

just has a really vibrant gay scene. Well, the whole time I was there Which is why it's so fun. It is very fun. I had a great time. It's a great place. And I would say, every guy that I blew, I don't know if they were gay or that was just, I thought that was just British stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'd blow a guy and he'd be like, you know, carry on

and I would be like, I guess that's just a cultural thing. I didn't understand that. I loved Brighton so so much i had such a wonderful time down there my heart still is heavy for brighton i i that's where you learn to joust as well there's a couple of jousting clubs there it is it really was on on the rocky beaches by the way worst beaches worst beaches tip to tip oh yeah they're not even beaches. My God. I couldn't, I was like, this is fucking awful. I went with a group of friends. And I was like, this is one of the worst beaches I've ever been to in my life.

You can't even lay down. Freezing cold. Yeah, and it's. Like pebbles and then getting pilloried by the wind. And you walk out like this because everything hurts. You can't step normal. No, I did not like it. But Brighton as a city, the people, the University of Sussex, the town,

the idea of of disappearing there. Man, I'm thankful for that for the rest of my life. It was such a wild experience. Then I would take the train. Or no, you know what, I did twice, but one time I took the Megabus. Oh, my God, the Megabus, yeah. It is? Yeah, you can get on that for like a pound.

One pound. Yeah, one pound. One pound to London. I thought it was fake. I thought, well, they're going to charge me at every stop or something. Because in America, nothing is what it seems. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I thought a pound is never going to get me to London.

It was an hour to London. I've traveled on a Megabus once, and I went on a Megabus when I was coming back from Edinburgh Festival. And I got onto the Megabus, and it was perfect timing because the following day, was a justin bieber concert in london so there was also some justin bieber fans that were on the bus and some young kids and then the normal um patrons of the mega bus who were some very like dodgy alcoholics like grizzled like men with no season we say seasoned seasoned. String vests and missing teeth. And there were these two girls

and they were rabbiting away about the concert and they were talking about it for like 15-20 minutes and then this man turned around and said, Would you two stop talking about cunting Bieber? I never heard cunting.

Like cunt deployed in that way. It's kind of nice though. It's great, right? Cunting Bieber. Not cunty. No, cunting Bieber. God, I love that guy. That's good.

He meant it though. He really didn't want to hear about it. He really fucking didn't want to hear about Justin Bieber. Because he couldn't go to the concert. He was living. He couldn't afford it. He tried to get the ticket. He was like, I can't go to fucking cunting Bieber. Because he couldn't go to the concert. He was living. He couldn't afford it. He tried to get the ticket. He was like,

I can't go to fucking cunting Bieber. He was so mad about it. Well, because he was trying, he was searching cunting Bieber and nothing was coming up. It's Justin. Ah, damn it. I thought that was his first name.

I misheard it. The Megabus was a, the Megabus was an experience of a lifetime. I feel I can smell it even when you're talking about it. It does have a distinct air to Megabus. Yes. People that were on it, it was very sketchy.

And I smoked a joint before I got on it because I thought, or a spliff, sorry. I smoked a spliff that Rachel had rolled for me, the other ginge. She was a little tiny gingeinge and she rolled it for me and she said um good luck and she was so sweet about it but she didn't tell you i didn't understand i was like good luck yeah because coming from american cities buses and it was like that wasn't the thing yeah it didn't matter it was like it's not a big deal i'm taking the bus to london who gives a shit and i got on there i was, this is not nice. It went through probably the worst parts of London

before we got into where I needed to go because I was going to, oh, where did he get my stop? I can't remember the stop. I'm trying to remember. Hold on.

I'm going to get it. Gloucester Road. Gloucester. Gloucester Road. That was my stop. Gloucester Road. That was my stop. That's my friend. My friend Tyler was off Gloucester Road. What was my stop. Gloucester Road. That was my stop. That's my friend.

My friend Tyler was off Gloucester Road. What part of London is that? I don't even remember. Like West London, Central West London. Is that bad? No. Gloucester Road. Yeah, no, not particularly.

Fucking snobby. Not particularly. No. You fucking cunting white hole. Cunting white hole. Cunting white hole, you son of a bitch. Okay, so listen. A, I appreciate you.

B, a new friendship has blossomed. C, I want you to tell all of the humans in the United States where they're going to be able to see you. Okay? Just what website can they go to to click on? Is it Cunting Whitehall? CuntingWhitehall.com. CuntingWhitehall.com?

www.JackWhitehall.com. Jack Whitehall. We don't do the wwwcom www.jackwhitehall.com jack whitehall we don't do the www over here you don't have to do that you know it automatically does it without you how old are you

jackwhitehall.com go see this brilliant brilliant comedian live a wonderful person a great presence a very funny human being the 10th most famous person to go to his school

as well probably lower by now some of the people have come out of there for sure by that time they've been gone I'm sure somebody's

beaten you again. What about what's her name from Stranger Things? Did she go to your fucking school? Yeah, probably. That kid?

I gotta think of her name. What is that kid's name? Millie Bobby Brown. Millie Bobby Brown. Too many names by the way. Stick to two. Millie Brown. Go to jackwhitehall.com

Go see this man. He's gonna be touring all over the place. Austin, Texas. He'll be there in the south. That's part of it. Chicago. Go see my boy. That's my city. Support my.com. Go see this man. He's going to be touring all over the place. Austin, Texas. He'll be there in the South. That's part of it. Chicago. Go see my boy.

That's my city. Support my boy, Jack. Go see him. New York. Uh, you go to jackwhitehall.com. See all the dates. Um, we end the show the same way with one word or one phrase. You're going to look into that camera and you're going to say one word or one phrase.

It ends the episode. It's going to be cemented in history. One day, the Smithsonian is going to call and say, give us a compilation of all the one word, one phrases. And I'll say, no, thank you. This is from my private collection. So whenever you're ready, one word or one phrase, go ahead. Augur. You were that creature in the ginger beard.

Sturdy. Ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse gingers are beautiful you owe me five dollars for the whiskey and 75 dollars for the horse gingers are hell no this whiskey is excellent ginger i like gingers