Whiskey Ginger with Andrew Santino - Jackie Tohn

Episode Date: April 12, 2019

Santino sits down with Jackie Tohn (Netflix’s GLOW) to talk mostly about the love she has for her dog, playing the iconic Gilda Radner and why she is ashamed of success. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In here, we pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey. You're that creature in the ginger beard. Sturdy and ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are pugilist. You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse. Gingers, oh hell no. This whiskey is excellent.

Ginger. I like gingers. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to whiskey ginger my guest today is one of my favorite people on earth i say that for all my guests but i mean it yet again today miss jackie tone thank you for coming hi don't don't introduce that yet cheers me real quick thank you thank you thank you and today hey. For listeners, yeah, today we're drinking a little bit of Eagle Rare. This was brought to me as a gift from a friend that came to see me

do a show and he said, I got to leave you something. I said, no, no, no, no. He said, I want to leave you a gift. Funny because when people say

they got to leave me a gift, I say, yeah, leave it. Is that all? Well, but you get me, yeah, right. You get really mad if they don't give you something that you really wanted.

You're kind of a brat. You came all the way here without a gift from me. That's insane, yeah. That's it. You do that to them. They walk in. This feels like it's not pointing in the... Yeah, you just got to get it right to your...

Here, you can move the arm closer to you. But I didn't want to do any facial coverage. You're good. You're good. All right, so introduce this sheep that's sitting on your lap. Well, you're not the only person with a guest today, okay? I come to podcasts with my own guest to interview. Yeah, right. I know. So I like to sort of derail the whole thing and then, you're not the only person with a guest today, okay? I come to podcasts with my own guest to interview. Yeah, right.

I know. So I like to sort of derail the whole thing and then, you know. He needs to sign an NDA, by the way. He's so fucking stupid. Why is he not saying anything? One day, I swear to God, I'll break his ankle. Are you telling me the dog can't talk? The mic is at his mouth.

Did you bring a dog that can't talk? I'm embarrassed. There he goes. Why did you name your dog Glenn? Now that he left, I'm actually sad because... He's going to chew right through the camera wire. I don't give him human emotions often. I think it's absurd.

But then I'm like, oh, did I make him mad by calling him stupid and saying I wanted to break his ankle? But every day I call my dog something else. I go, get over here, you little fucking bitch. I say it all the time. Right when I got here, he was showing me a picture of the dog, and he was like, she's a little fucking bitch. She is a little fucking... I go, get over...

Hey, I go, get over here, you fucking bitch. Look at me. I'm like putting my nails into my own because of how much I love Glenn. You murdered Glenn once. Well, listen, when you love a thing too much, sometimes you need to break it you broke his ankle no i just love him so much that sometimes i imagine not hurting

i don't really want it on public record but i do hate love him where i have to grit my teeth and i feel aggressively toward him because of love. Do you ever play too rough with him? No, I'm a little bit of a pussy. So like, I'm careful. Like I just, the other day, he was at the top of the stairs and he was looking down and he looked like he saw, he was seeing a ghost.

He wouldn't come down the stairs. So I'm like, bitch, I might carry you down the stairs. You can handle this. Then a couple of days later, I was at some store and someone was playing with him and being all sweet with him

and he yelped so loud. Like when your dog yelps like you step on their toe or foot or something and you like want to kill yourself. When I step on her neck she does that. I step right on her neck.

I remember that last time you kicked her in the face. So I did that and then this guy was playing with him and he made a huge yelp and it was at his low back and he was like,

yeah, these long dogs have low back stuff. And I was like, you know, he hasn't been going down this. This is a stranger. I'm like, he hasn't been going down the stairs lately and the guy was like

you need to carry unfortunately you gotta carry a bag you're getting dog advice from a complete stranger that you don't know at all don't do that ever again but then I looked it up

because with dachshund mixes they're so long that it's so much fucking pressure on their backs that dog is so tiny he's so nice his back is smaller

than my foot my foot is longer than his back. But that doesn't mean he can't have an issue just because of his size. Who told you that? A stranger. I don't know his name. Okay, so get the fuck out of here. If a doctor said that, okay?

But then I looked it up on the internet. The internet was like, careful with dachshunds and their low back. Another thing that doesn't mean anything. I have AIDS according to the internet right now. I can't answer both of us. It's bullshit. It's total bullshit. Jews should not be allowed to look stuff up on the internet.

Especially when it comes to health stuff. Then it's gone. 100%. Speaking of, I almost just choked on my mentholated holes. I did. I breathed in

and the whole thing almost went right down the trap shoot. I'm glad it didn't happen. I would have been very embarrassed. But listen, I don't trust people anymore because people give me advice about my dog

and it turns out it's fucking... She's never dead. You know what someone said? You know what someone said? Somebody goes, she had diarrhea. The dog had diarrhea. diarrhea oh you got to put these crunchy things on there because we usually do like sweet potato and rice and all that stuff oh no uh she needs uh

these crunchy things um to balance out the diet or whatever made it wait i mean exponentially worse out her butthole she would fart she. She would fart. And you know how like slow-mo videos on YouTube, this is what I compare it to, when they drop like a marble in like paint or something and you see like, I mean, it was like, but it just kept spraying. And what's crazy, it was in slow-mo. Yeah. Well, I see in slow-mo. Yeah. Everything is in slow-mo to me, but that's, it's just the visual of paint splattering out of these things on YouTube. It looked out of her butthole just, I'm gonna throw up. It was like a puff-poof of air.

Anyway, she's fine now. Cubs are fine now. How I named him Glenn, he belonged... Glenn, get in here. Glennie. Nah. Glenn, come here. He doesn't give a shit.

I named him... Darius. What up, homie? Come on. Yeah, good work. You named him Glenn. No, my friends did. My friend adopted him first.

Do you? Now I just feel like an asshole. My friends, I think you might know my friend. Go ahead. I know now. Tom Cruise. Do you know my friend Tom Cruise? Yes, I know Tommy.

Dax. Oh, Shepard? Yes. Sure. I thought so. Yeah. That's why I was like, it's less weird because you know him. Dax adopted.

So Dax and Kristen adopted him. Right. And they were, I was over there and Dax was really allergic. And Dax named him Glenn. And they was like, meet our new dog, Glenn. And then I came over and he was like, we're so fucking allergic. He and the baby. And she was like itching her little baby eyes.

And they were like, we don't know what to do. Allergic to? To Glenn. I mean, I guess certain dogs are really allergy-ish. Hypo-allergenic. They-ish. Hypoallergenic. They're not hypoallergenic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How do you know?

Is there a test for that? There's got to be, yeah. Is it hyper or hypo? He's hypo. No, the term is hypoallergenic. He's not that. Yeah, that's what my dog is. Yeah.

Because my dog has hair, not fur. He has fur. Must be. But it sheds? Does he shed? Yeah. A lot. See, right?

It's hair hair not fur I mean fur not hair I have she has hair all that hair doesn't come off it's great let me tell you something

it's fantastic it's great until I pull it off fabulous I go get the fuck over here and I pull it right out of my head one time I cut it off wouldn't even make me sneeze

I don't know what the deal is he's not I guess he's not hypoallergenic and they were super allergic and they were so bummed because the reason they adopted him, that's right,

they were going to put him in front of a truck. The reason they got him is because when they have two young girls and he's so friendly and delicious, he just doesn't,

like when babies are like playing with him too rough or whatever, he just is like. Loves it. He doesn't even go the other way. He's like here for the face batting. He doesn't even care.

But some small dogs love kids. Yeah, he does. They have this weird connective tissue to kids 100 well maybe i'm talking about you and you know it so you know yeah he knows so they just named him glenn because no nothing and the dog before glenn that they adopted that they this sounds terrible like they give all their dogs away they don't kristen's a huge dog rescuer and a dog foster mom. Well, then eventually you do give them away if you are fostering. Right, so she's trying to find them homes, but often she thinks she'll keep them, and then if it's not a fit, so she had a dog before Glenn

that Dax named Pat Sajak. Oh, that's good. Pat Sajak Full. Love Pat Sajak. Yeah. And that one went to his... By the way, one of the best gigs on Earth, Pat Sajak. Well, not as good as Vanna's gig, but actually maybe better than Vanna's gig. Way better.

Because Vanna's got to be in hair and makeup, full beat, tight dress, keeping that body tight with heels. Pat's schluffy under that suit. Yeah, 100%. He's a schlub. You don't know. He's got to be a schluffy. Also, I looked him up one time.

He's from the East Coast. He comes here, films something like four months out of the year. Then he flies. So they just pack it all in. Then he flies back. He's one of these dudes. This is nuts. People should look this shit up.

He has like a fucking hospital, a library, like a school named after him. He put tons of money back in his community because he's a fucking billionaire. He's a billionaire. He's got so much money.

Do you think they make the same money? That's one thing I wonder. Don't. Look, I am. No, they might. They might. I feel like I'm first in line

for obviously equal pay for equal work. I don't know that, I am. No, they might. They might. I feel like I'm first in line for obviously equal pay for equal work. I don't know that they're doing equal work. No, they're not at all. Right. So then for me. Equal pay for equal work is a good. That's the sentiment that we all should be echoing. A hundred percent.

When somebody says equal pay, I go, right. Yeah. For the same thing. Sure. Yeah. A hundred percent. You're not going to tell me that. Yeah.

Guest stars don't get paid the same as the guy that's on the thing. A series regular. Absolutely not. That doesn't make sense. But that whole thing is such muddy, weird water too, because there's other semantics about that in the industry that no one talks about. Like, you know, someone's name for movie stars, someone's name draw is worth more monetarily box office than others. So that thing is going to take into account.

Yeah, that is challenging. Nobody wants to talk about that. You're like, if it's like me and Matt Damon, and it is the first big movie role i ever get and it's like me and matt damon i'm in the whole fucking movie i'm his little i'm his brother or something you have a bigger part than him yeah you're still not gonna get and i wouldn't deserve it nor should you yeah because who the fuck no one's going to see me right they're gonna see sexy ass matt fucking damon and then they see me go that goofy guy is funny that's funny guy i like him but they'll be like the goofy guy's body got dope recently and then they'll go let go, that goofy guy is funny. That's a funny guy. I like him. But they'll be like, the goofy guy's body got dope recently.

And then they'll go, let's put him in something. And then everyone will say no. And then everyone will say no. And then I'll do an indie. It'll bomb so bad. They kick me right out of Hollywood. That's right. You still have the pod.

I got it. I got the pod. And now I'm living in Sundance. Things are bad. Yeah. I actually moved to Sundance. Did you know? It's a city.

Okay. I don't want to talk about business stuff, but we're going to. Great. I have other stuff I want to talk to you about. But is Glenn sleeping? That's really fucking rude in the middle of my podcast. I'm not going to lie. You brought a dog just to sleep?

Wow. Okay. Okay. You, let me say this, and I'm not placating. You were in a movie that made me so jealous that I wasn't a part of it. I didn't deserve to be a part of it because I had no business being in it. Well, you did not deserve it. Maybe there wasn't a spot for you.

No, but I mean, I had no room for me. But I was so happy for my friends that were in it. And it was also jealousy, but also like not in an angry way. Like I watched it a few times because I thought it was so good. And of course, it was called Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. Sure, Bogus Journey as well. Bogus Journey. No, you were in a futile and stupid gesture.

Yeah. And it was such a good fucking movie, man. Yeah. So cool. You got to play, tell people. Gilda Radner. Gilda fucking Radner. And it.

What was that like for you mentally? What's so crazy about this thing is that not only was it like easily one of the greatest experiences in my life and something that i'd waited for for so long and worked toward for so long that was so excuse me glenn um gratifying he's a real piece of shit so gratifying but also and i'll get to that in a second it changed my life yeah because then i people went like oh that girl played girl played Gilda Radner. Everybody wanted to get that part. And then people were thinking of me for other things and considering me in a way that nobody ever had.

That's awesome. And I've been sitting, I've been acting since I was nine. Wow. And so I got. And now you're 49. I'm 80. I'm eight. I look unreal.

You look really fucking good. So much. Perky ass titties. So then I got, so what happened with that movie, actually, so I played Gilda Radner, but I,

when I got the audition, I had like a small agent. And. You brought a small Asian to the audition? Yeah. I just think it's cute. You brought a small Asian to the audition? Yeah. I just think it's cute sometimes to take a tiny Asian, bring them with you to stuff, and then ask them to pop out. A tiny anybody.

They could be white, Asian, black, anything. And if they're really small and they pop out, sometimes I think that's a way to have casting and certain people like that remember you. Secret to the biz. Yeah. A lot of people don't know that. Yeah. Okay.

And if they don't like you, throw walnuts at them and run out. Oh. Yeah. I feel, okay, that's, okay people don't know that yeah okay uh and if they don't like you throw walnuts at them and run out oh i feel okay that's okay don't do that like if you feel like they weren't paying attention or they didn't give a shit about you yeah fuck you and throw walnuts all over the floor because they're annoying you got a lot of walnuts but that's part of your deal so tell me my rider you off so So, when I... It's probably the cleaning crew. Somebody's here with Glenn. Hold on, let me look. Okay, I just want to make sure nobody opens any doors. Don't eat him.

They kill him. Hi. That's okay. Did he run away? Yeah, thank you. Glenn, come here. Glenn, come here. Come here, Glenn.

This is so peaceful. This is the way it is. Great. We've never had a break like this. Perfect. It's exactly what we wanted to be, I think. And we're back. So you got to play Gilda. So I got to play Gilda so I got to play Gilda

but it was so cool so they called for this audition but since the part of the movie it's not the SNL years but they were like look if you want to show us that you sort of

get her essence you could do a character from SNL like a Rosanna Dano or an Emily Littell just to like show us what and it's for David Wayne who's like

one of my heroes it's just crazy and they were likeell just to like show us what, and it's for David Wayne, who's like one of my heroes. It's just crazy. And they were like, if you want to show us a character. And so I, this could have gone either way. It's could have gone two ways. I prepared them all. All the characters. You did?

Yeah. And I had costume changes and it was a whole thing. They were going to give you the role. Well, or they were going to be so embarrassed that they were like, thank you so much. You actually don't need to keep changing your shirt. You're in the middle of changing.

We get it. But I have these outfits. I have these different costumes. Can I pronounce them costumes? I don't have time in my life to not do this. I need this more than anything in the world. That was actually just the case. I had no opportunities. There was nothing coming coming in i'd been acting 20 something years

at that point and was just like you had bounced around and done stuff it's not like you hadn't done anything but i also hadn't done a ton like i was making a living on commercials yeah and honest there was a godsend i was actually really psyched i wasn't like sitting around kicking a can i was like cool i'm in that secret commercial and I like made a little bit of money and I'm earning a living this is fabulous

that is good but I but I wasn't the Vagisil one was a bad choice by the way yeah and the Herpes one and the Imodium next time don't do them

that's a okay in the future that's fine hopefully that'll be there'll be a long time since they need although the dry pussy stuff

feels like as you age it will you probably do get drier, it will come at you more. I just saw a commercial for that today. That just said, a KY commercial that said, our moisture is all different for all different kinds of girls. And nobody wants to talk about it. But let's talk about it. So they do.

But then you're just going to moisturize your puss on a Tuesday with just KY? Well, I think if you're if you're if you're ready to if you're ready to f you uh f you kk yeah i pronounce it fcc weird you're ready to fuck well if you're ready to fuck you're ready to fuck cuties oh you know what hold on before you keep going the one thing i should probably fill it we should fill in the audience on what stupid futile gesture is because i think maybe i think you maybe people don't know or haven't seen it. I think you're right. It was a book

and now an amazing film. It also, there was a movie before this movie. There was like a documentary on Netflix. Well, it wasn't initially for Netflix,

but it was, and it wasn't called that. It was like Wild and Crazy and Drunk. Like it was also three. Right. Something like that. And it was essentially about L something like that and it was

essentially about lampoon it was about the beginnings of the harvard lampoon and and then what led to the beginning stages of probably the most iconic controversial subversive comedy ever yep because now we can do and say anything this was a time when you couldn't do and say almost anything and they were they were offending equal opportunity offenders. Which is what I still want today. I still think today that should be comedy. It's 100%. But I think there's more of us than there are the other side of the fence.

I think more people- Of comics there are. Well, that's what I mean. Of humans. I feel like everyone's like a little- I don't know. See, I don't think so. I think that's echo chamber rhetoric that we hear because we live in a liberalistic state of Los Angeles in a bubble like New York.

And I believe most Americans still have a great sense of humor. They want to talk shit to each other. They want to make fun of each other. And comics like Gilda, like Chevy, these guys and girls, they fucking broke this awkward barrier of not talking about stuff, which is what we need to continue because that's how, that's how anything is like made light of and fee and feel normal. It's how we heal. Yes.

And I think it's also how both sides of the aisle, which used to not even be a term because it wasn't so such a chasm. There was like, at least you could have a conversation with a person who was on the other side. But- Not anymore. No.

Isn't that crazy? It's a crazy time. I have a friend that literally stopped talking to another friend because he found out that he voted Trump. And what I find so fucking disturbing is like, you can do that. That's fine. That's your life.

But like, you're going to fucking not be friends with someone ever again? you don't want to have a conversation about it i mean you i'm sure friends do things that you disagree with all the time you know i think when it becomes challenging is when you support immigrant families and you support gay rights and you support all these things that you know that this person doesn't support and then you look at your friend and you go like but wait a minute there's people in cages and then it becomes i think it becomes hard when these issues are this huge yeah to look pat i mean it becomes hard to but i agree with you i mean i think the whole point and i think sarah does so silverman does a great job where it's like she's at least she's very specific with her with her views but she's really trying to have the conversations and love

all the people and love the people that she well because sarah is sarah's somebody that loves to fucking talk shit and joke around and push the buttons of other people and and and doesn't necessarily adhere to the pc thing right of what of what many people would in such a smart way too yeah but that's what we should that but that's the PC thing of what many people would. And she does it in such a smart way too. Yeah, but that's what we should, but that's the whole point of all this shit. So, Talon's Stupid Gesture is basically about the beginnings,

the impetus, the catalyst of the freedom of speech comedy boom that eventually turned into SNL. And in an amazing way, I kind of don't want to spoil the movie, but it's the story. I mean, it's this age-old story. So he did the Harvard Lampoon, this guy Doug Kinney, played by Will Forte.

So fucking funny. Sick. So he did the Harvard Lampoon, and then he did National Lampoon Radio Hour, and in the Radio Hour was Harold Ramis, Bill Murray, Christopher Guest, Dan Aykroyd, Chavvy Chase, Gilda Radner. I think I said everybody.

Ramis Guest. I think that's everyone. Belushi. Belushi, right. And that was everybody in the radio hour. And then I think it was Doug Ebersole, somebody Ebersole, Dick Ebersole. Dick Ebersole, yeah. He was running NBC and he offered Doug Kinney National Lampoon Saturday night.

And Doug was like, TV is ridiculous. I'm a filmmaker. And he said no. And then Lorne snatched every one of those motherfuckers and was like, we make an SNL. And then they made SNL. And then Doug... Well, this part's a spoiler of the movie, so then I won't say it.

Yeah, don't spoil for people. I highly recommend watching it. But to me, me what i'm curious about is as a woman in comedy um and for back reference we met because of comedy and and for someone like you who is so deeply embedded into the world of being a comedic actress and a comedian what gilda did and what people like her did that's really it was so big for women so that's such a to me it was such a cool thing to have you play because i knew you right if i didn't know you i'd go fuck that chick who cares but it's but it's cool because i know what that must mean to you both during the filming and both outside of it right that well it's what's crazy is I think a lot of people,

I think a lot of younger women, they like have an idea of who she is, but I was raised on her. Like her greatest hits, VHS, it's so funny. I remember when I wasn't really working, I would hear an actor talk about something and I'd be like, that's such a fucking lie. They'd be like, oh, I can't believe I get to play her.

I wore out that cassette tape till it broke. I literally wore out the Guild of Greatest Hits VHS until it broke and we had to the gilda greatest hits vhs until it broke and we had to throw it out and there was no ebay and i cried yeah and i was like how are we ever going to get this and i vividly remember what the cover looked like and i don't have it it's funny that i haven't replaced that for myself but even if i did i don't have a vhs player but the point is i was obsessed with gilda and we have just similar ways about us we're like just these jewy Sprite things that have way too much energy.

Chewy little Sprite things. That have too much energy and are too much for a lot of people. But then other people are like, no, that's the right amount. And we have similar S's and our voices are similar. The only difference is that she's from Detroit. So her voice is in the back of her throat. She's Gilda Radner. Literally, our voices are almost,

like when I was little and I felt like I was too much or too raspy or too scrappy or too, it was like, but Gilda's like, but I'm,

but I can, but I'm, it's Gilda. Yeah. And then I get to play Gilda. You didn't have to do much to change your look. You look exactly like her.

I didn't have to do. You like curled your hair. I didn't even curl my hair. When I don't have a stupid hat on and my hair is parted in the middle and then I put

these little pins in. Yeah. That's just what. That's kind of it. That's just hat on and my hair is parted in the middle and then I put these little pins in. Yeah. That's just what. That's kind of it. That's just it. Because your hair is naturally kind of wavy. Yeah, that was just all I did.

Wow. Isn't that fucking. That's mind blowing to me. It was wild. It was weird knowing you for so long and then seeing. It was weird knowing you for so long and then seeing you play her and going, oh, that's so weird because yeah, of course she looks exactly like her. But I didn't even think about it.

I didn't even really think about it. And then I got the call and I was like, oh, and what's really crazy about getting that audition is that they had seen every other person in the whole city. It was the only reason I even got, they got so to the bottom. I'm not like shitting on myself. They got so to the bottom. They got so to the bottom of the barrel. They were like, we'll see her.

What's in the basement? What's it? For real. Go downstairs and go get what's in the, what's in Valley Village adjacent. And I was like, my unit. So then I popped over

and the other two girls in the waiting room for Gilda were Latina. Oh shit. Not JoJo. They were really fishing. Holy fuck. They were like,

well maybe, you know, like what, and that's fine. Like God bless, anyone can play any part, but like, there was really like,

that's pretty specific when you're playing, when you're playing like one of the, a real person's really hard. A real person who's like a Jew. Characters are easy, but a real person that's kind of, that's why I'm always like, it was really like, that's pretty specific when you're playing, when you're playing like one of the, a real person's really hard. A real person who's like a Jew. Characters are easy, but a real person that's kind of, that's why I'm always like,

why did they get that guy to play that thing? They didn't just get someone that fucking looked like him? That's crazy. That's always weird. That weirds me the fuck out when they do that.

100%. But, but you being a part of that thing, for us, for comedy people, I guess, was so cool to me, seeing and knowing people in it you know i

know john daly um who played bill murray rick yeah rick rick um rick played harold ramus um uh who else did i know that was fucking in there i mean joel mckay i was gonna say you know joel you know everybody yeah seth green he played christopher guest i don't know him but he's yeah he did a fucking great job um oh do you know john gberling he played john belushi right yeah um i mean that was a stack filled with great great comics and and and i i know i'm rambling on about it and i'll move on i just i really did a thing for me because um it's the reason that we get to be the way we are and we're so like unapologetically goofy or mean or rude or fucked up or crazy it's not always funny and i think that movie really did a thing for me where

it's like and not everything is fucking funny some things are mean or hurtful you know there's a couple of moments with doug where you know his first girl uh girlfriend or first wife or whatever was like you're a fucking asshole like you're actually you think this is all so fun you're a piece of shit yeah and and we don't really get to be honest about that all the time that we're totally flawed people comedians and comedic actors and i think the times when we talk about how flawed and depressed and anxious and sometimes mentally ill yeah we are as comics it's we're talking about it because it's too late and we lost somebody right that's what's like i just got you know it's like no we could talk about and there was a comics are

so sad i'm like yeah we're also so joyful and giving you such joy but also yes yeah i debunked that so many times somebody goes aren't you guys all depressed and i said that's insane you know who else is depressed a majority in hr yeah exactly a majority of america yeah exactly she's nothing going on her husband's fucking the secretary Yeah, exactly. She has nothing going on. Her husband's fucking the secretary. This is her groundhog day is going on. I mean, we all have shit. We just, ours is on display.

And also I think it's a, it's in such stark contrast to what you think, how you think we feel. Right. And that I think is a fascinating thing because with Linda and HR, she's walking around every day, shopping at Aeropostale, doing her thing in the Midwest. And that's fine.

God bless. But it's not as surprising to find out that that person might be sad. But this really funny, smiley guy who's making 500 people laugh is sad? Yeah. How? How is he sad? How? He's making all these people happy.

Oh, he loves the leaf. Completely unrelated. But I think that it just did a good thing for me education wise for people that don't know anything about national lampoon in the history of lampoon and harvard i think it's a beautiful educational piece to like really learn like where that comes from and then from a comedic perspective what what it really took to become a comedian in this weird cutthroat world of what would be snl the greatest institution of live television comedy of all time.

But anyway, go watch that shit. But more importantly, Parallel Business, you're on probably one of the most successful Netflix shows has had in the past, I don't know, decade. I mean, is that not true? Is that a silly statement? It's so exciting. Don't you think so? Well, Netflix hasn't even been around for a decade, but has it? Yeah, it's been around for about 20 years.

But there were DVDs back then. back no I mean like when it you kids you kids I mean we're the same age no making content making content because Orange was the first show Orange is the New Black was the first probably 10 years ago by now I think it's only because they're on there like six or seven seasons I think it's like only. But anyway. Then this is it though. But she's on Glow. Jackie's on Glow. And I think objectively it's one of the most successful shows on Netflix. And people fucking love that shit.

They just made a comic book of us. Isn't that fucking crazy? It's fucking crazy, dude. It's crazy. It's so. Look, I have a little bit of success guilt but I have mostly joy but what I was gonna say is like I am highly cognizant and I'm putting a lot of pressure on myself because of this but that I'm in the time of my life yeah this is it yeah you're feeling I'm in it but that's amazing

and maybe and look maybe I'll do do, and I hope to live my dreams of a one-woman Gilda style, Bette Midler style, musical comedy Broadway show, and then maybe that'll be the time of my life. But this Glow situation is... Fucking incredible. Yeah, I sometimes,

as a person who, I hate that I always have to preface, but I feel I do. As a person who tried I hate, I hate that I always have to preface, but I feel I do. As a person who had, who tried so hard for so long to get anything going and it, it feels like exponentially more, I don't know if this is true, but it feels exponentially more satisfying to be part of such an incredible

thing. Right. When all the things I was scratching for that I didn't get were maybe not even as cool. Well, of course not. I mean, you like look back and you're like,

how devastated I was that I didn't get that one pilot for FXX. And seven years ago was the last thing I was even close to even being considered for. And I was like, this could change my life. And it didn't even get picked up. And then of course not. I moved on,

but I, I, I hate inside baseball But I hate. That's a little inside baseball, folks. I hate when people say everything happens for a reason. It really irked me, but it's disgusting because it's partially true. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's annoying. Yeah.

Because somebody, well, you know, everything happens for a reason. And you're like, yeah, well, fucking. Rejection is protection. I'm worried about bills and life, so suck ass. Like, I hate hearing that, but I know it is to be true. It is to be true it is to be true but then it's also like how many years can i walk around and try and convince anyone that i have any skills well without anybody going like long enough you're not kidding yeah that that

without being like without having somebody go like yeah she she actually is all right right that's actually she can do the stuff she says she can do but i think you have that because and you have this guilt aside the fact from that the jew Jewish thing, which you'll never get rid of. No, no, no. You can't get rid of that. You know that. Fingers crossed. I know.

They tried. They failed. They cured HIV, but they can't cure being Jewish. They cured HIV? It's gone forever. It's gone. It'll never come back. I'm really embarrassed that I didn't know that.

I feel like they just did it. Well, the second person documented was cleared of the virus. I just thought they've been doing the pills that makes it so you can't. Yeah, they're doing that too. But it just came out in the news that a second person was completely cured of the virus. Magic Johnson? No. But he beat it with money.

He didn't beat it with pills. He beat it just by having money. Sure, sure, sure. Yeah, he was just rich. But the guilt thing— Did Scotty Pippen help him? I think—what did you say? Did Scotty Pippen help him scotty

pippen has nothing to do with that mugsy bogues is that's the cure if you kiss mugsy bogues because he's a tiny guy uh if i think the reason that you have that i think many people have that in our position quote unquote um is because you didn't crack when you were super super young and by that i mean when people blow up when they're a kid, like when you're nine, if you blow up at 10, 12, 13, it's hard. You're Corey Feldman. It's just so hard. Honestly, God bless.

You're lucky if you're Corey Feldman because otherwise you're Corey Haim. Oof. And that's, I mean, right? I mean, the options are. He gone. He gone. The options are gnarly. Because look at it like this.

What are the, like, who were the people that were famous when they were kids that like lasted through? Drew Barrymore might be like one of the best success stories that was gnarly for 15 years she was like so hard drug addict and sick and bad

she went through all of it but I mean most people that blow up young have a really tough time sustaining making it out of that muck era I mean fucking Justin Bieber

has gone through all of these different phases and I bet you in 20 years he'll be like a George Clooney figure in the business where people are like, oh, we love that guy. And they don't think about- Right, or Robert Downey Jr.

Yeah, you don't think about the shit. There was like 15 or 20 years where we were all like, Robert Downey Jr. is gonna die. Right, and he was a tremendous train wreck. Tremendous train wreck. But it's also because achieved fame at a young age, I think does something both to the person and both to the people that surround them.

But the flip side of that, and it's interesting because I've been thinking about this lately, because if I got successful, it's a new kind of fun word about when you get successful as a kid. If I got successful when I was little, yeah, that would have been cool for things. And OK, but the flip side of that is how when you're like 34 and you've been doing something since you're nine. And I don't mean nine and i don't mean casually i don't mean like i was in a school play when i was nine and i hoped like my mom was

flying me to and from la for auditions and i was having development deals with these monster people and the guy that created roseanne and these huge things that were like put your fucking seat belt on kid because this is going to be on eight o'clock on tgif and you're the star and this is your development deal and you're 14 and this is going to happen we already have a time slot go and then it doesn't go and it's like all right it's back to hot ninth grade like to be in my literal like gift baskets from studio executives and then you don't get picked ninth grade back to being me like literal

like gift baskets from studio executives and then you don't get picked up and then those people don't answer the phone from your agent anymore it's like

learning these things as a kid when I was 21 I got a I got I replaced so 23 I replaced a girl

in a pilot then I booked the series and I was like it was with Daniel Stern and Judd Hirsch it was on NBC I was like I'm gonna be I was at ABC it's like I'm gonna be a TV star this is unreal and then I got fired and I got replaced by the girl

that I that I replaced Jesus and I found out that I got fired because I showed up to work my parents were in town it was the it was the Thursday night dress rehearsal and they'd called it off and nobody knew why I wasn't that they'd fired all sorts of people but i didn't know this and when i showed up to my dressing room the producers wanted to have a meeting with me so i was going to park my car by my dressing room and walk over to meet the producers it was like on the cbs radford lot and as i pulled my car if this isn't a this is a fake story it has to be as i pulled my car into my parking space a man was paint rolling my name off of it shut the fuck that's impossible age 23 he was literally a long snow he had a long stick he was not bending down he had a long stick they wouldn't even get down for it no sir and he was

paint rolling my name off my parking space and my parents were like are we in the wrong space like we just thought it was we didn't even think anything of it then i went to go talk to the producers and they fired me and i freaked out and they were like you're hostile told me i was hostile wow and i was like and you are yeah turns out you are it turns out i keyed one of the cars i put a banana in one of the tailpipes and i took a dump and the guy left his front seat open that's not on me that's what he gets you don't fire me you don't fire me i wish i remembered his name but it was at what abc or cbs stein um something something stein is cheap but funny i'll take it i'll take it something stein goldman also doesn't really doesn't really thin out the

options but he was at this was for abc but for some reason we shot at cbs radford but anyway like these were the things that i'd gone through so many times. So I recently was thinking, I had a conversation with a friend, and he was like, you know what's kind of cool? And I'm not saying this to be a dick. I'm saying this as a compliment. It's kind of insane you didn't quit. That you kept getting these punches to the throat,

these curb stomps to the back of the head. And you were like, okay, payroll, my parking space, and all these amazing things that were. But i kept feeling like i was close enough like i was like that was almost me yeah and that was almost me it wasn't like i was like alone in a canoe being like anyone anyone like it was like they that's why you kept going yes people that keep going when they don't have anything that's a little bit hard when you watch american idol and the person is just like embarrassingly terrible and but just their parents were like go honey live your dreams and it's like okay find a different dream maybe yeah maybe you should switch it up do you like other things do you think you like other stuff well see that's funny because your parents seem super supportive, right? They were like, no.

Yeah, they were like to a degree that was like unheard of. Right? Like mine, the opposite. My mom quit her job as a physical education. My parents are both phys ed gym teachers. And yet you're so out of shape. I mean, not only am I out of shape, I can't kick, throw, catch to save my life. I can wrestle.

Really? I can actually wrestle. Well, because of the show. But prior to the show, could you wrestle? No. No, right, yeah. But it's funny, I went into I want to hear about your parents, but I went into the I don't want to talk about it. Fair enough. I went into

GLOW, and on the very first day, the stunt coordinator now Emmy winning stunt coordinator, Shauna tip of the hat and Chavo Guerrero is like wrestling royalty. On the first day of training season one,

I walked in and, you know, we're comics, we're insecure, we're fucking loony bins. And I walked in on day one and I was like, we're about to start training. And I was like, if anybody feels like this might be scary

or you might feel insecure, feel free to look in my direction because I guarantee I'll be worse at this than you. and it turned out that was super not true but they bring it up to me all the time now you look like an asshole sort of but also in this like learning way someone's like i've never done this before and they just shoot three threes in a row like oh i don't know who knows who knows how to do that i guess i do do. Practicing forever. Yeah. But I mean, I'm not like unreal. It just wasn't.

I had told myself this. I'd read myself this story for 20 years that like, I'm just not an athlete. Right. Like I just, I do other things. I sing, I play music, I write jokes. I do artsy shit, but I don't do the athletic stuff. And when given the opportunity and like not making a joke of something and taking it seriously for a second,

it was like, I could do it. And you're good at it. Yeah, it's really cool. See, isn't that a little embarrassing? Now that you show up, the other girls that aren't that good, they must kind of talk shit behind your back.

I think maybe, but this is another thing that I feel, not insecure, but like I always think about how other people will look at the way I say things as a working actor, because I judged everything working actors said when I wasn't working. And I was like, oh, really?

You guys are actually sisters. You guys really love each other. It's really, you guys are really tight. You guys are all on a WhatsApp thread and no one hates each other. That's not fucking true. But it's true. It is. We love each other.

It can be. It can be. But it's true. It is. We love each other. It can be. It can be. Sometimes it's definitely not. No. And season one, there were like energies where there were like pockets where it was like, oh, you're not great in a group and this is challenging for you. You've been like a solo person.

But then that person is even way more a team player now. I mean, I think even I was probably far more out for myself season one than I am now. Now I just see what this is and this thing we're making and I just feel like genuinely like I won the lottery to be able to be part of it.

Yeah. And it's because of the Gilda thing. Well, it's not because, that's one of the reasons. Thank you. But that's not the only reason. I appreciate that. I don't believe in that that thing i think there's a million things that contribute to one thing oh yeah kind of like how someone's like it's my soulmate it's like it's not

your soulmate it's just because if you were born in czechoslovakia that you wouldn't have ever met them so don't fucking yeah so all these things kind of come together i like to think it's like we're where there's billions and billions of bubbles of energy and we are also just a collection of energy cells and all of these things kind of coagulate and amalgamate to kind of make things work in a certain way sometimes and if you got out of your car that morning with your right foot first instead of your left foot first your entire day could have been different 100 so i think like the butterfly effect is so real so i think so real i think that that saying it's gilda it's not it probably was a great movement a needle mover for

you but you did it on you do it on your it probably was a great movement a needle mover for you but you did it on you do it on your own accord and obviously you're good enough because they didn't fucking fire you from that bitch you ain't firing me from this bitch birch i mean we've and we've all been fired by the way when you talk about that like it's funny because everyone's been fired from stuff or seen people get fired and you go sucks for that guy but then you've been that guy when i got fired my agent at the time who worked out of her back office the most amazing agent amazing woman she worked out of like a little office in the back of her house in long island and she i remember her like reading me a list of of all the like she's like lisa kudrow got fired from her pilot before friends and this person got

fired from this and every george she's gonna have to build you yeah yeah but she would build me up but also just like this is true yeah like i thought it was the end of my career right i was like this is the my biggest opportunity i've ever gotten and all i had was this little manager working out of her back house in long island and i was able to like do this and climb up and screen test and get the part and And it was this whole big thing. That's incredible. And then I didn't have it anymore. But look at you now.

Baby, look at me now. Look at you now. I like all the art in here. I can't stop staring at it. This is gripping. Can I say something? This is gripping. You like it?

I keep staring at it. Well, it's also supposed to be a little threatening. It's supposed to be a little threatening to the guests. Meaning like, what's over there? What am I looking at? Oh, I don't find it threatening. But be a little threatening to the guests meaning like what's over there what am I looking at oh I don't find it threatening but I find it hard

to not look I could kill you I could kill you also like yeah of course look at me I'm gonna kill you alrighty

but like you could totally I wouldn't I wouldn't I wouldn't I wouldn't kill you oh my god

thank you you know why because technology today is so good yeah they'll catch you you can't get away with it. Can I tell you, though, too?

A lot of people know I'm here. Yeah. They don't know the address. Yeah, that's annoying. Don't give the address away. I'm not giving the address. But when I was walking up from my car, I texted Santino to find out where it was. I couldn't see the address.

I happened to be across the street. He's like, the address is in big letters. Big letters. Big numbers right outside. Can't miss it. It's a black plaque. Placard. With black numbers.

How artsy. For your guests to not be able to find, he's like, fucking numbers right on the side of the building. On a black placard in black. By the way, this building is fucking huge. Like this building has got to be like 50,000 square feet. And that thing is probably like one foot by one foot. I was going to say, that's one inch by one inch.

It's a one by one. It's so small. It's a postage stamp. I don't know why they do stuff like that. But that's what art districts are. That's the thing. Yeah, that is the thing. It's hip.

It's cool to be unknown. Because I was like, it must be this enormous, cool, hip-looking building. But I see no address. I don't even see a sign where an address could be. Yeah, no, it wouldn't be. Actually, there was a big sign for an address. And they ripped it down. Oh, well, fuck you.

They were like, fuck that. People don't even know. Too easy to find. Figure it out. How about figure it the fuck out? We don't want to put a sign. There's a place on, we might have a sign now,

but there's a place on Virgil called Squirrel. Oh, yeah, Squirrel, right. It's a breakfast place. And it doesn't have a sign. Nope. But if you are inside and you see a menu,

do you know how they spell Squirrel? S-Q-R-L? That's right. S-Q-R-L. That's right, yeah. Fuck you see a menu do you know they spell squirrel sqrl that's right sqrl that's right yeah fuck you yeah fuck you it's so annoying so god forbid you ever be able to find this place like can't google because i'm like sqirr and by the way squirrel in and of itself challenging word to spell because it's got two r's two l's or one r two l's no it's it's one r two l's square but no no square roll square square roll this is embarrassing that's what i'm but for my whole life it's been that weird word where you're like one r two l's two r's one l what is but then they're like oh okay no vowels then you can't find it it's the most hipster bullshit la loves that stuff and there's a place

right around the corner from here i don't want to blow it up. There is no sign. There are two security guards that stand out front. It's an invite only boutique high end bullshit. You should drive by. Is it a Ouija? No, no, no. It's close.

Two security guards? Two men in suits every day. Okay. And it's a high end boutique clothing store, which I'll tell you all about it off air. And it's every fucking time

I drive by these guys. Line. They always have this look of like, you don't belong here type of shit. Bobby Lee is coming into the podcast. This was a month ago. He parks his car over there and he walks up and he goes,

Bobby's so inquisitive. He's a child. He's a literal child. He's a 50-year-old child. Kindergartner, sure. So he walks up. Built like one too. He's got his box of crayons.

Yeah, 100%. He walks up to the guy and he goes, what is this? What is this? What is this? And the guy's like, it's a private. And he's like, what is it? What 100% he walks up to the guy and he goes what is this what is this what is this and the guy's like it's a private and he's like what is it

what is it what is it and he was like sir you have to keep moving please because you can see inside the fucking thing which is so which also by the way

I don't have to keep moving no I don't there's nothing that says I have to keep moving and it was so rude and you know when you tell me to keep moving I stop

what am I going to do tell me to keep moving what am I going to do I'm going to stand right fucking here and stare at you tell me to relax no don't tell me to keep moving. I stop. What am I going to do? Tell me to keep moving. What am I going to do? I'm going to stand right fucking here and stare at you. Tell me to relax. No, don't tell me to fucking relax.

Very similar. So looking inside, he can see the clothing and he says to me, you know, you can tell, it's a fucking, it looks like a store. And he's like,

well, what is it? Why are you like, what's the deal? And the guy was like, please, you know, please keep going. So there's an invite only location. And Bobby,

I'm not, I'm not being cute. I'm getting hot. Bobby did a good job. Bobby did a good job of holding, because Bobby loses it a lot bobby can fucking lose it but it's and he said he was an inch away from being like fun when he does because the guy goes private invite only type thing and bobby said to me he goes you know how bad i wanted to be like i'll buy your whole fucking store and be that asshole guy he's like he's like just because bobby doesn't look like

a guy who's has anybody looks like that guy that goes there probably you know what i mean he's in like a yellow crop hoodie and shorts and fucking flip bobby's smoking four jewels at once you know what i mean he has three hoodies on but it's like he could buy everything in that fucking store but he said i wanted so bad to be that guy but inherently comics are so ashamed and fucking self-deprecating so much that to do that would kill us. It would murder the inside of you that you're like, I don't, I want to say it so bad, but I won't just because I know it'll hurt my feelings more to hear myself say that. 100%.

Than it will to hurt him. That's why I have trouble talking about like, I think I call it success guilt. You should though. We talked about it. You should have success guilt because I think everyone should feel a little ashamed of the stuff that they have and the success that this town brings, but don't not enjoy it. Like, I don't like the fact that like, you know, it was always a shameful thing to have a nice car or to have nice things in our world because we come from

the grubby world of like working from the bottom. And so it's like, I'm sorry, but like I didn't land a movie role at 15 and then get rich overnight. Like I worked hard to get things. So when I have a nice thing, I know I will forever hide it and feel guilty about it. But, but to myself, I go, I deserve it. I'm proud of you. I'm proud of you. And I deserve it. I'm trying to honestly i'll go there right now i'm trying to stand in my power i can't even say it without feeling like a fucking piece of shit but i'm trying to so much more because this self-deprecating value bullshit i it's so exhausted it gets old it gets really like isn't there something just fucking cool about, like, I got, I find it so attractive in another person when I'm like, they're not braggy or boasty or full of shit, but like, their just shoulders are back a little.

Yes, their air is different. And it's just like, oh shit, you like run some stuff. Yes, it's nice. They, I don't know that they feel that way inside, but when I look at a person that way, I'm like, oh, that must be so nice. Yeah. Over here, like, yeah, it's a Lexus, but it's a certified pre-owned and I got it, I got the 2011 and 2013. side but when i look at a person that way oh my god that must be so nice yeah over here like yeah it's a lexus but i bought the certified pre-owned and i i got it i got the 2011 in 2013 you can't just cut it off at what it is when someone's like it's got to be like this diatribe of like

uh but i got it from my uncle who bought it from a guy and you know it was used you know it also it's got a dent in the front of it it's like it's got to be this verbal diarrhea explanation for all your success and i was like and i always have to say like you know i i i went a really long time without working and you know i was acting since even even with you you were talking about yeah you said it was from you were nine and i was like i started when i was nine it's like well that wasn't the fucking question but i wanted everybody to know that like you know i'm out here yeah you're you're working w-e-r-k-n yeah for correct correct squirrel squirrel working squirrel working but you hate vowels here at whiskey well they can't do it yeah we can't do W-E-R-K-N. Yeah, correct. Correct, squirrel. Squirrel working. Squirrel working. We hate vowels here at Whiskey Ginger.

Well, they can't do it. Yeah, we can't do that here. That's not part of our agenda. Also, by the way, side note, this happened to me, that squirrel reminded me, I was going to meet people at a thing downtown,

and downtown LA, when I first moved here, sorry, was fucking no way. Oh, you would never. I ran into you downtown. Yeah, I was like, what the fuck? It used to be a place where- And even in that time, I had a couple of friends live down there.

And I was like, you're going to get killed. Sketch. You're going to die. It used to be so sketch. Brought to you by Sketchers. Brought to you by Sketchers. But now it's so fucking beautiful and nice. And it's moving at such a pace where I'm like, wow, this is not, it's getting so nice.

It's getting so nice. And, but if you go out of that, you're still like, oh, that's anywhere to some degree. But downtown now, you know, all these cool places and the cooler they are, the more you don't fucking belong there. The more there's two guys in suits at the door asking you what you're doing in your flip flops. You can't afford it. Like I can fucking afford.

Yeah. The, I was going to meet people and no shit like this experience but way worse there was no door there was no sign there was no shit and i find out much later when i run into a friend you have to go through the back side the other way i mean it's like a bad already home when you found out how to get it yeah i'm back i'm asleep home. I'm asleep and I'm like, oh, that's what it was. I wake up. Oh, you live in the middle of the bay alley. Sure, sure, sure.

But it's like a shitty SNL sketch about LA, which is so obviously true that it's like, they do- I remember years ago I went to a place and- They try so hard. So hard. Years ago I went to a place and the only indicator was like a, I'm angry. I'm getting hot. A very dim red light.

Oh, fuck off. Outside. It's so annoying. And I was looking and I remember it was similar to this address where I was like looking and it was so dim

that it wasn't like across the street. I could be like, oh, the red light bulb. I knew there wasn't going to be an obvious entrance. It was so dim. I was like under it and I was like,

that's what they're calling the red light bulb. Like I was so hot and so angry. Bye, Glenn. Bye, Glenn. It's a little tiny sticker on the wall

it's one little tiny sticker it wasn't a label but it was a sticker of a label it was infuriating that's just get the gun I got taken by

my manager to like this unbelievable sushi chef here who like has three tables and you know only managers

and agents know that bullshit where they're like we can get into this place when I say I went to the address and I'm not going to say where when I say I went outside and was actually scared

I'm not kidding in all my years of being in LA I was like this is a danger this is a danger yeah I'm not safe this is sketchy and of course

then you walk in and you're like who's what is am I this is like a door to Narnia it was a completely different experience. With like the richest, with like the richest Japanese businessmen of all time.

Like you can see that they're so wealthy. Yeah. Funny, I went to a sushi place recently. It was in a okay neighborhood, but same thing, you wouldn't be able to find it. Never in a million years. It was like in a shitty strip mall. And then you have to go through the kitchen of another restaurant, but it's like fully invite only.

Love that. There's like four reservations a night that whole thing see this is the thing and I feel a little guilty about going to those places sometimes but at the same time

I go fuck it man that's awesome I get the access to do that once in a while but I'm also the guy that looks out at that and goes

yeah I'm not that guy but then I feel like is what being a comic is you're like yeah this is kind of dope also I'm gonna judge the shit out of it and observe it

and write 20 minutes on it. I'm going to talk shit about everybody in here. Some of the best fish I ever had. Ever. Ever. I don't want to interrupt us.

I wonder if the person who is in the other room has left the door open. Go see for Glenn. This will be our commercial break hour. We'll just keep cutting to stuff. I just want to make sure

that the door's not open. That's okay. Just make sure the the door's not open. That's okay. Just make sure the dog doesn't follow you. Thank you. Good night. Good night. Wouldn't that be so funny? Here's what would be the funniest thing

for the fans that are listening or watching. Jackie keeps looking at to see if Glenn's going to follow the cleaning lady out. What if the cleaning lady really hated dogs? And she came in and she was like, no, no, no. I like it. I like it. And then she's just kicking him when we don't see. Is he okay? No, no, no. He's okay. Oh, cute dog.

Cute dog. Is this your dog? Is this your dog? Sweet dog. Both of us doing this terrible accent. Yeah, yeah. But it's nondescript. You don't know what that is. Not only was it nondescript, it was almost identical to how that woman sounded. Mm-hmm. Well, we were just repeating

what we heard. Performance artist. Does it bother you when people don't know how to feel about your dog? Because it bothers me when somebody goes like, my dog is fucking harmless.

When she goes up to somebody and they go, huh, huh? And I'm like, really? This is the dog? Sometimes old women I feel are like skittish around dogs. Because they're afraid?

I have no idea, but like kids love him like I don't think. Big dogs make sense. But I do know what you mean when people are like, uh. Or when we're walking and I don't pull his leash tight because he's 14 pounds. Hi Bonnie. Like what could he really do? Come on Beanie. Like imagine he couldn't even get up

on the fucking chair right there. No, because he's a dumb idiot. But imagine if he bit you. Hello, sir. It wouldn't even hurt. Yeah, but do you know something? His heart is the size of a Cadillac Escalade.

That's how you talk to your dog. Yes. Everybody has dog voice. And one other thing that people at home should know, these ears are made of 100% silk. Silk? Yeah.

Silk from silkworms. You know what my dog voice is? What? He goes, get over here. No, you don't. I do sometimes. But you do go like,

you fucking bitch. I go, hey, come here, you son of a bitch. Yeah, I grip my teeth when I talk to him. Me too. I love him so much.

You have to. It's my third costume change. I feel fine about it. This is? Yeah, because I'm so hot and I had a leather, then a sweater, now a tee.

What is it that's making you so hot? Is it the thing on your hat that says anxiety? Do you think that's what it is? What are you talking about? Just putting it on there. No, I just feel, I feel warm.

I feel great, but I feel warm. Also, like, this is one half a shot of nothing, but I think it's making me a little warm. Cleanse in my lap. I'm having a great time. He's falling asleep.

Dunn is falling asleep Yet again You wanna have some drink You wanna drink a drink Of some whiskey Do you want some burpin You're a whiskey man Hello Hi

I'm glad And sometimes I love whiskey That does kinda sound Like what he looks No we're gonna leave that in I'm a CPA Now

My number one job Crunching numbers Oh Guess I'm pretty tired Too much taxes This tax season. My dog just got fired from her day job. Which was? We're pissed. We are actually

pissed off. I'm not going to lie. I fucking got her job. I reached out to an executive at Sony. She was an executive assistant. She got fired. I'm sorry. That sucks. It is public knowledge that you're not supposed to be on Facebook on the work computers.

Here's my dog. She's on fucking Facebook. Right. She's supposed to be organizing a general that they're going to have that afternoon. She's on Facebook. She was on Facebook. Talking shit about her boss. Oh, I was going to say.

That sucks. So she got fired. And that was, what's his name? Stein? It was Bergenstein. Yeah. Yeah. Mike Bergenstein.

Ari Bergenstein's brother right of course Daniel Bergenstein's son son he runs the studio it's like you have to at some point you can't be on Facebook

yeah yeah yeah no so she was on Facebook so now you know every day I'm in the room I walk into her room she's on her fucking phone and I'm like are you gonna get a job

right are you gonna get a fucking job are you gonna look for a job but at this point it feels like she's addicted to social media you know what she does she knows

sniff at me and then just gets right under the bed. Sometimes when he does that, I go, God bless you, and I get the fuck out. She does that. My dog does the nose thing. He does. And I always go, God bless you, Glenn. God bless you, Glenn.

You sleepy Glenn. He's so done. Hey, so I want to talk to you for another hour and a half, but your time is valuable to me. Good. Tell me when GLOW would be going again. So exciting. So we wrapped season three a few weeks ago. Right.

When is it air, I guess is what I meant. We actually don't know. So normally we, they're funny with you know release dates and get and pickups and netflix is kind of weird about all that and numbers like they're sort of don't tell us a lot so we don't know when it's coming out we had the last two seasons were like beginning of end of june but this season it might be later because stranger things looks like it's coming out in early july season three uh-huh i didn't know they were doing another one i think season three yeah okay right so season three of stranger things is coming out those kids are like 30 now yeah

they're 30 it's crazy um 11 doesn't track she is now a grown up we were she dresses she's so pretty for a young girl and it's like gross to say that because I know that's like not right but I'm like

what the fuck dresses like that a woman can say it and you as a man can't but like yeah she's like a beautiful young thing she's a pretty young girl

and it's gross because I'm like wait she shouldn't look like that she should have braces and look stupid and have bad hair she's like maybe 13 now

oh my god it's really annoying to watch there was like some real public thing about her having a boyfriend and i was like we shouldn't know about any of this hopefully they're just holding hands this is like oh wait no but that's repulsive that shouldn't even be the rhetoric shouldn't even be boyfriend it should be like first of all it shouldn't be it shouldn't be anything it should be just she has friends and she's in school and she's living her life 100 that's that they're like she and dadada broke up and it's like this big he he's like this big pop star.

See, that's why, that's why I'm saying. I should, this is good. This didn't happen to me when I was 10. I'm telling you because I think it fucks with people. Well, looking back, speaking of all things happen for a reason, looking back, I have truly nothing but, I mean, there was a lot of gnarly ups and downs, but those really young ones,

I think it's a godsend. Relationship-wise, you're saying with you? Like when I was a kid and I had a boyfriend and he was 20, I was 11. But I think it's really good

that career-wise that stuff didn't... Yeah, but here's what I mean. They dig into you. Okay, I don't know. No, you wouldn't have. I just don't think so. My anxiety.

Because I think, yes, you being your personality would have not boded well in that situation. In fact, I think most people don't, but you would be way more susceptible. And you being the, I'm the same way. I know it would have been really detrimental for me to have any sort of success as a young, And if people think I'm like, you know, feisty and a lot at this age. I mean, I was off the rails. When I met you, you were out of your mind.

I was off the rails. You've landed the plane a little bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it still does bounce off the water a couple of times, I was off the rails. When I met you, you were out of your mind. I was off the rails. You've landed the plane a little bit. Yeah. But it still does bounce off the water a couple of times to get back in the air

and I'm like, Jesus. We ran into each other again at sushi and that was like the most anxiety-fueled sushi I've ever had in my life because we had about

an hour and a half conversation in 15 minutes. We packed everything in. But that was also, I feel like that was before all this stuff was going on. It was, it was. But you were doing,

you were about to try something. I was like on an audition or something. And it was just like still just, I think also at that point, I think I was 34, 35 and just like being in the rat race and it makes you crazy. When you're in the race for so long

and so close so many times, it makes you a little it makes you a little nuts like it's really challenging i've reconciled most of these emotions it's really challenging to be happy for other people yeah it was just do you ever be honest have you ever been really unhappy for somebody but then have come around now and been like you know what i'm actually oh my god i i don't have i genuinely i'm so this is one of the things i'm most grateful for about being in the place i'm in now career-wise i i'm happy for everybody hmm everybody great i appreciate that um no but like it's very like like my friends. Yeah. But like when a random person still like is taking over

or whatever, we'll talk about that off the air, but like, of course certain things are hairs across my ass, but often, like I can't think of a time

in the last many years where like a friend of mine got anything and I wasn't just fucking overjoyed for them. But it used to be like, well here I am banging my head

against the wall. I paid $25,000 of money I don't have. I'm going to be in debt here i am banging my head against the wall i paid 25 000 of money i don't have i'm gonna be in debt to make this album when i was making music and then a friend of mine made her album for no money in her closet and that was jewel and got she lived in her van she lived in her goddamn van made her album in her closet and got like all the songs placed on like gray's anatomy and this show and that show and I was so bitter yeah you would we would you would because I was like I have nothing to show for any of this this town is very everything or not it's all or nothing and I just was like and this was my really close friend who by the way is it was was wonderful and talented and also broke

and also had dreams. Like, I look back on that time and I'm like, I'm grossed out by that person. That happens most of the time. You act like that the most when you are at that low position, right? Because when people get success, they usually go, I'm really happy for everybody. But it's because you yourself are gaining. I feel satiated and I feel good and I feel seen and valued and validated in a way that I was scraping for for so many years.

And I've used this term quite a few times since I've sat here, but like too much or, you know, oh, she sucked all the air out of the room. And then when I went into Glow and did the exact same thing, they were like, just right. So it's like, that was- That psychopath was perfect. Right, 100%.

Get her back in here. She's nuts. That fucking bat is what we're calling for. But isn't that the beauty of what this business is and not to be too meta for some of the people

that are probably like, oh, these fucking idiot actor bullshit. But I think there's some of the beauty of what happens is your thing does eventually kind of fit into a thing.

It's just difficult sometimes. That's all. Like, it's really hard. That's so funny funny it's such a comically profound way to put it because it sounds shallow which is like your thing finally fits into a thing and it's really true it's like when you find your person you're like oh my crazy fits you're crazy it's such like a fucking facebook quote but it just does it is true yeah it does and for all the years and things i'm trying to change and be maybe i can if i talk in a higher register then i won't be so fucking gruff all but it just does. It is true. Yeah, it does. And for all the years and things I'm trying to change and be, maybe I can, if I talk in a higher register,

then I won't be so fucking gruff all the time and turning into Louis Black in my 30s. But like these things, and then you just go like, oh, cool, the times where it really works and fits and it's the most exciting for yourself and the people around you who are looking for that. It's magical. Yeah, it is.

Because they are. They definitely are looking for it. Also magical yeah it is because they are i they definitely are looking for it also i just imagine you as lewis black for the past like 14 seconds of you going you don't fucking know me just the finger wagging around i mean you're very profound like that you have that kind of that similar kind of energy just anger jewie raspy anger juraspy anger juraspy yeah have you ever seen Jurassic Park? Also tiny. Jurassic Park? Jew,

Raspy Park? We've got to get out of here. It's just that everyone's in a jungle. So Netflix, hopefully we'll release that in June. Have a girl.

June or July. Actually, yeah, we think probably July or August now because of Stranger Things, but we don't know. Wow. They haven't told us about

a season four pickup. They haven't told us when we're airing. But they don't do that, right? That's not their thing. They usually just don't say anything We don't know Yeah

I mean we think people Are watching the show People seem to like it They're making a comic book Out of it They're making dolls And they're Yeah you're an action figure

Huh I'm not an action figure Just the two The two lead girls are You shall be at one point Marin isn't even an action figure He should be but Really

Uh uh I think it's just the two girls Like they made like Those Funko things Yeah yeah yeah And then But we're a comic book. That's cool.

And we're on t-shirts. It's like a crazy thing. Do you get on with Marc Maron? I do. Because he's the only other stand-up comedian on the show, right? Is anybody else do stand-up? No, just me and Maron. Right, that's it.

But then there's like another live performer. Like there are these girls, Kimmy Gatewood and Rebecca Johnson. They're improvisers. They're in a comedy trio called the Apple Sisters. Oh, cool.ate nash who's like a british pop star yes she's in the show so singer kate nash yes she has a great song that that i loved and now i'm the name is escaping me it's uh i love that fucking song She goes Rather be with your friends mate

They are much fitter That's a great fucking song Yeah she's good And she's still making incredible music And she's indie now And she's Talk about She's like amazing

She's great But as far as like the stand ups goes You guys are That's it Yeah Marin and I get along great You know He's such He's so himself that when he's himself you can't ever take it personally but sometimes you want to like in the more like i remember season one i was like morning mark because you

know he's not feeling it at that hour morning when is he what hour is he feeling you're not wrong you're not wrong but you know, especially in the morning, you're like, oh, God, this isn't going to go well. It doesn't go well at 5 p.m. It's not going to go well at 7, 15. I've never seen him before 10 p.m. Yeah, fuck that.

So I'm like, morning. Or I said something like, what did you think? I was just being silly with him. And he's like, it's a lot. And I went, you know,

in the time it took you to say it's a lot, you could have just said good morning. Oh, and? But it wasn't, but nothing. But he's like, all right, all right, tone. He was always making fun of me for being super Jewish. We got in an argument at the Arclight said good morning oh and it wasn't but nothing when he's like all right all right tone he was

always making fun of me for being super jewish we got in an argument at the arc like because we were doing a q a a sad q a and we were all in the elevator it was an elevator for six and there was i think 15 of us in it and we were packed in and it was supposed to go up and it was going down and i was like i don't like it so when it went down i got out yeah me too i would have gotten right the fuck out and i was like i'm gonna get out and he was like everybody already knows you're jewish you could just stay in the elevator you don't have to make a jewish scene in the middle of the arc like whatever so then i got out and then when i went downstairs i was like okay the guy wasn't feeling

it and he was like you're being real sensitive today and i just i think what it is is like he wanted to get out of course he wanted to get and then I got out and then he was like all right Judy is like but we I think we're a lot more similar than either of us oh my god we are yeah I think he's like surface more curmudgeon than I am but we're the same you're the same you're just you're the the curmudgeon the curmudgeon is, yes, anxiety fueled. Your energy is just way higher. His comes out in a different format. 100%.

His comes out with his cats. And his comes out 100%. His comes out in like a can't be bothered, very low energy, nothing. Like everything bothers me, but I'm quiet about it. And everything bothers me, but I'm frenetic about it. Yeah, I'm the same way. Everything bothers me and I have to talk about it. And if I don't, I feel like I've let myself down. Yeah, I'm the same way. Everything bothers me and I have to talk about it. And if I don't, I feel like I've let myself down.

Yeah, 100%. I might have to tell you how much this makes me mad. I have to. I like him so much. No, he's fucking great. Yeah, and he makes me like, I opened for him at Dynasty

a couple months, like a month ago and it was glorious and his crowd couldn't have been kinder and he couldn't have been kinder and like, I just think it's really,

I think the little bullshit talking that we do for me. It's love. I hope he feels that way too. Yeah. But it feels like love. It doesn't feel like I'm talking out of school

about it here. It's like, I'm sort of saying it as a badge of honor. No, of course. Well, listen. We talk shit to each other and it's cute.

I think that's the way he is. Listen, from the comedy store and seeing Mark, this is a story that I don't know if he wants me to tell or not. I don't give a fuck at all but it was just really, it was the sweetest moment I've ever seen from him because we say hello and we, you know, from the comedy store and seeing Mark, this is a story that I don't know if he wants me to tell or not. I don't give a fuck at all, but,

but it was just really, it was the sweetest moment I've ever seen from him. Cause we say hello and we, we, you know, it's a, it's such a community at the store that whatever. But,

um, when I was doing the Showtime show, I'm dying up here that got fucking canceled. Rock on. Um, we were going to be, it was like put in a nomination. We didn't talk more about that.

No, I don't want to talk about that fucking thing. It's gone. It's about it being canceled. No, I like it so much. Oh, well, that's very nice. But what happened was is they were putting on our name and a hat to be considered to be Emmy nominated. And they were fishing it around to people that are a part of the Academy voting or whatever.

And Marin came up to me in the hallway of the store. And he kind of like grabbed me by the arm a little bit. And was like hey i uh i just want to let you know i voted for you and i was like what i didn't even know that i was in this thing oh in this pool to even i didn't know i didn't know that's how it happens yeah emmy voters vote for who they think should be the nominees yes which you know it's all a craxus it's all such a fucking scam anyway the whole thing is like but anyway but when he told me that i did i had no idea what he was talking about and he and then vote. Which, you know, it's all a craxis. It's all such a fucking scam anyway. The whole thing is like, ugh. But anyway, but when he told me that,

I didn't know what he was talking about and he explained it a little bit. He was like, did I vote on you for the thing, for the show, because you're great on the show. And for Mark to say that in a very condensed format, it's like me saying

how much I enjoy you for about an hour. I was just going to say, it's like you going on and complimenting someone for 20 straight minutes. Exactly. Him acknowledging your presence

is like, yeah, you got it. Well, he said, it was just very nice and and it's and and mark is a peer i mean he may be older but like you know the comedy store does a thing where i don't give a fuck what level you're at you're a fucking peer when you're there because we're all respected on this level it's like dude we work the same stage and the comedy thing is like you give respect no matter who what level they're at you know sebastian maniscalco is one of the richest comedians in the fucking world he does the same 15 minutes that you do right after him and he respects you the same because it's that thing and when mark did that it really didn't mean a lot the richest sebastian yeah he's one of the highest earners yeah he's one of the highest

earners yeah he's incredible i know he's incredible probably one of the best live acts in comedy sickening yeah period he'll go down as one of the best. But Mark doing that was so, it meant a lot. Anyway, it just showed me who Mark really, really, really is. Even though Mark does the other thing. Oh, he's a sweetheart. He's a sweetheart.

It just, I think he just also has to still be who he really is, which is chromogeny and, hey, get out of the elevator, you Jew. We know it, you Jew. That has to exist, but the other thing is so real. But that's probably why I really like him because you see who he really is.

Like you get to see who he really is, you know. And also quite talented, it turns out. You know what I mean? Like it's so funny of like here's a guy. He's so good, Uncle. He is very good. And he's a consummate comedian. He'll always be a comic.

But, you know, this is the first time, maybe I'm speaking out of turn, but this is the first time I've'm speaking out of turn but it's the first time i've ever seen him in something extended character he's probably done a bunch of small stuff but you know i'm not being rude he would even agree yeah this is the first time i've ever seen him like do something big and and and lead heavy and you know anyway and uh it's just it's it's cool to see because i think it's a it's a good group of people and there's no one that's bad except for one person. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. It's you. You're the worst on the show.

Oh, you're great. This has been great. She goes and cries in her car. I should probably hit that. Hey, hey, hey. Thanks for having me, Andrew. Never called you Andrew in my goddamn life. Never. No one does. No one.

Santino's always been it. I am. You barely touched your fucking whiskey. Now, I'm not asking you to shoot it right now, but. Well, no, I've been sip-sapping it. All right, sip-sipplinas. Well, because I just, you know, I like the conversation so much. Still my beating thoughts.

Are you flatted? Are you flatted? Fata. I'm fata. Fata. I'm fata. Yeah, fata you flattered fatter i'm fatter fatter i'm fatter yeah fatter i'm flat and i'm fatter um so hopefully hopefully it'll come out in the summer the late summer and we'll get to see you um i do thank you generously for coming and doing the podcast this is super fun do you want to plug anything else do you want to say anything else do you want to you want to say hey to your grandma if she maybe watches do you want to do you have one that's alive nope but i wasn't

gonna until you do they do they have youtube in heaven well you have dead tube you gotta believe in heaven first that's right right that's right what do you believe in i don't know i i have trouble wrapping my brain around reincarnation will you come back as that i have an easier time wrapping my brain around than a heaven because i feel like i don't know what this is and how it got here and if there's a spirit and if there's energy and if energy doesn't die where does it go so metaphysically but also scientifically i don't understand how where the energy goes. Yeah, into things.

It goes into things. Into this, into that, into that. It goes into things. Because they need it to build new things. So you'll be in stuff. Cool. This is amulets, pretty beautiful jewelry. You'll be jewelry. Oh, cool. I'll be in jewelry. You know what I'm going to be?

Shoelaces. Yeah, I want to go everywhere. Work boots, work boots, hiking boots, different boots. Work boots, different boots. I want to be in so many different kinds of boots. I love boots. I want to be a boot guy. I'm a boot guy. It'd be cool if you could pick where your energy ends up.

You're reincarnated and you're fully. I'm a boot. Yeah, you're. I'm a gay boot. Why did I become a gay boot? You're gay laces. Yeah, I'm gay laces. You're gay laces in a boot.

Ooh, tie me up. Not so tight. Ooh, why so tight today? This is a good bit. This is a good bit. Okay, well, I love you. I thank you. My pleasure.

If you don't have anything else to plug, I will plug me. Oh, yeah. Look at how sad I just got right now. I have one thing. Oh, plug it then. Follow me on Instagram. Yeah. At Jackie Tone.

At Jackie Tone. We'll put it in there. J-A-C-K-I-E-T-O-H-N. out right now i have one thing oh plug it then follow me on instagram yeah jackie tone at jackie tone we'll put it in there t-o-h-n t-o-h-n that's right jackie tone you know cheeto santino on all the platforms go to andrewsantino.com for all that stuff and i'm not really in june i'm gonna be in san diego at the la jolla comedy store uh but for now i'm kind of just bouncing around doing things and going on tour with rogan doing I'm doing arenas for the first time. Isn't that crazy? I'm going to do an arena with Joe Rogan. It's wild.

Yeah. 13,000 people. I was just going to say how many people. It's like 12,000, I think. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

It's going to be gorgeous. It'll be incredible. Just like when you go out with the store. Yep. Same thing. Same thing when the store has 400 people. 12,000. Same, same thing.

It kind of is. But what is, what's the most you've played too but well you probably played thousands a couple thousand but that's nothing like i don't think i've ever cracked i don't think i've ever cracked 10k is a monster number look at they we just zoom in on me having a panic attack right now thinking about it um yeah it'll be fun so um we'll see what happens but thank you thank you it's fabulous air kiss me thank you you're that creature in the ginger beard sturdy ginger like, the ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are beautiful.

You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse. Gingers are hell no. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers.