Whiskey Ginger with Andrew Santino - James Donald Forbes McCann Comes to Play | Whiskey Ginger

Episode Date: June 26, 2026

Welcome to Whiskey Ginger, a Wave Series. Presented by FanDuel. Irish comedian James Donald Forbes McCann joins Andrew Santino on Whiskey Ginger for one of the wildest episodes yet. James shares his unfiltered take on the wonders of America, what happened to Hollywood and why nothing gets made in LA anymore, and his bold plan for fixing American cities. Plus Kanye West made a surprise appearance at the Comedy Store and James was there. And in a moment he'll never live down, Ms. Pat publicly humiliated him in the best way possible. 🥃 NEW EPISODES EVERY FRIDAY 🎙️ Follow James Donald Forbes McCann: Instagram: @jdfmccann Website: http://jdfmccann.com 📲 Follow Whiskey Ginger & Andrew Santino: Instagram: @whiskeygingerpodcast Podcast: Available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts & all streaming services 🕐 Timestamps: 00:00 – Intro 04:00 – Ivy League Guys 08:09 – The Wonders of the USA 17:06 – Kanye at The Comedy Store 23:03 – What Happened To Hollywood? 32:55 – I was humiliated by Ms. Pat 41:43 – Looksmaxxing 51:43 – McCann's Plan For America #WhiskeyGinger #AndrewSantino #JamesDonaldForbesMcCann #jamesmccann ==================================================== This episode is sponsored by: FANDUEL Bet on a match and get Bonus Bets for every goal scored in that match http://fanduel.com MARS MEN For a limited time, our listeners get 50% off FOR LIFE, Free Shipping, AND 3 Free Gifts at Mars Men https://mengotomars.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I'm Andrew Santino. I'm Bobby Lane. And welcome. It's the Bad Game Show. And once again, thank you to Bobby's mom. Back off. I mess you up. Let's start this game. Each of you guys write down the slang term for what we're pointing at.

What's this right here, guys? What is this right here? Kevin Spacey, Epstein, Weinstein. What do they have in common? They're all scumbags. Incorrect. These are all classic New York guys. Oh, my God.

Is this the game where we have to figure out what they have? your mother is saying. Gn-N-N-N-N-N-G-G. How old is my fucking wife? I'm gonna put as many marshmallows as I can in Bobby Lee's mouth. If you were in prison, dude? Easy access. I am thoroughly aroused.

Is this your son? Oh my God. How did I get here? I'm so thrilled that I'm only a lesbian. Oh! Wow! Yeah. Stop hitting on my mom, okay?

Our next game. Time to get Hansy. Buzz in before he does because it's a fucking game show. Asshole. Was that a good? consider that a good episode? What's the barometer? Welcome back to Whiskey Ginger, a wave series presented by Fandul.

Hey, Wischinge fans, this Sunday, in two days, I will be at the Sound in Del Mar. San Diego, not going to be back there for a long time. So come out and see me. Get off your butt. Get off the beach and come see me at the Sound in Delmar. Go to Andrew Santino.com for those tickets. I'm also playing St. Charles slash St. Louis, Missouri, August 7th, before I go to the internet invitational down there in Missouri,

August 7th, come see me. And this weekend, come see me in San Diego. Andrew Santino.com for those tickets, andrewsantino.com. In here, we pour whiskey, whisk, whisk, whisk, whisk. You were that creature in the ginger beard. Sturdy and ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse.

Ginger's a fugitive. You only $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse. Ginger's, oh, hell no. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like ginger. Ladies gentlemen, welcome back to Whiskey Dinner. My guest says one of my favorite people on Earth. I say that for all my guest. My guest, my name is once again. Today, it is James, Donald, Forbes McCann. It's great to be. You like that. Thank you for having. I love it. Full name. Full legal government name.

It's what must happen. It's what I demand. No, it's not. I'm just hanging out. He did. He said his team was like, make sure you do the full name before we get into it. I can't believe my team. I have a team. Yeah, you have a team. Well, I got like two Jews. You have two? Yeah. What, you have one Jew? Well, Jews are like those old little... They're like those old little things we put in the tub and they just, you know, they grow.

So once you get one, you're going to get 10 on your team. No comment. But I love my Jewish team. They're the best. I thought about, you know, I could get anyone for that team. Sure. You want the Jewish team. Do you a non-Jewish agent?

I sometimes meet people who have a non-Jewish agent. And I think you're doing harm. Taking a risk. Taking a risk. You're swimming upstream, pal, and everything is way down there. Maybe there's a chance you're getting like a consiglione. You know, like, who's the guy in The Godfather? What's his name's it, Tom?

Consigliari, is that we're saying? Consigliere, you know. Maybe you're getting that one guy. Doubt it. Never heard of it. But, you know, it could be. It could be. Enough with this before this gets banned by YouTube.

Do you start now? All right. No, I'm saying it's good. No, it is. We're kidding. We're obviously, we're kidding. It is a good thing. Yeah. I'm saying I prefer that.

Sure, man. It would be bad. It would be negligence for my family to look up to my family. Yes, you do. You do need to take care of your family. Oh, an Irish Catholic. Agent? Although they used to be, right? What happened to those guys? That's very sad. We don't talk about that, no more.

Well, you were your Chicago person? Chicago. When did you come out here? I left home when I was 18. Straight for here. No, well, I went to, I went to Harvard. Is that true? I think you know the answer. I don't. I went to Harvard in the desert. I went to Arizona State. Okay. It's a similar, similarly accredited school. You seem like you could be a Harvard person.

Fucking no chance. Have you met Harvard guys? Yeah. No. Yeah. Hold on. No. I'll give you one. You ever my Colin Jost? Yeah. Harvard. Do you get it? Wow. You see the difference?

They don't do stand-up. They get the good writing jokes. Harvard men are... He might be a stand-up. I don't want to... No, he has a stand-up, but I mean like their particular brand of, like, writing and style is very distinctive. Conan. Conan. Yeah. It's odd.

List of Harvard comics. Bring it up. I want to see it. The British ones who are like Oxbridge... type stuff. They can part. For me, I find that harder to pick. Yeah, but here's, I think that's a cultural thing. Like, in the United States, if you go to an Ivy League school, the old joke in the U.S. is, how do you know someone went to Harvard? They tell you right away.

That's great. Because they do. They interjecting in Harvard. Now, Joe's isn't like that, actually. If you didn't know him, you probably wouldn't know that he's not that guy, but most people I know that went to any sort of, like, very high-end school, they'll toss it. They'll go, dude, these shorts are, I love these shorts. A buddy of mine at Harvard, my roommate at Harvard, he had these shorts.

And they have special rings, these people? They have special everything, handshakes, rings. How many comics went to our Harvard comics? I'm just looking at a Harvard Lampoon. We got... Well, the Lampoon is, yeah, right. Jim Downey, Greg Daniels, Robert Carlock, who did a party rock, Al Jean from the Simpsons,

B.A. Novak, Bill Oakley from the Simpsons. A lot. Simpsons loved Harvard writers. True, you love The Simpsons. Of course. And when you watched them as a kid, this was the clever, the most clever thing about that show. It was for young people, but very much for adults.

I was thinking about this on our walk yesterday. It's like a gift. They were like inviting you into another. It's so smart and it's so well done. And it really is. And they're very broad. The fact that that was the biggest show, that for a moment, the best show was also the biggest show.

Before the bigness took over and ran the, you know, ran into the ground. It ran into the fucking ground. And where's your Harvard education now, writing team of the Simpsons? Anyway, that grew up it's time. But we all know that. But it was like, it's a generosity to make something great for everybody.

Sure. It's a beautiful tension. Well, it's like a great joke, right? The show in and of itself is like a great comedic joke where the bit is two and half kids is the American average. So that's the joke. The kid never grows up. Yes. And then you have a big, doofist dumb guy with a beautiful woman.

He's hitting out of his league. This is like a quintessential all-American family. Yes. So it looks like it's another goofy sitcom, but beneath it is just really cleverly written. Jokes for adults. Isn't it crazy that that was what it was like out there? Oh yeah. That was the California dream.

100%. It still is, dude. A wife staying at home and a man going off to the world. I don't see it. Drinking beer is the moment he gets off work. Yeah. Although, you know, your people do that. Drinking beer the moment.

You guys are, when do you drink on the job? You guys are social drinkers in a way that's more accepted than ours. So we go to happy hour. Right? Yeah. Work drinks, all that stuff. But like, you still have to be careful. You do.

we are getting a very very drunk is permissible socially totally loved but the flip side is there are then more safety nets around you because the government won't trust you so plastic cups because too many guys are drawing beer bottles glassing yeah you run up you know or when i got when i went on the statemarland ferry and is it called glassing by the way doing a glassing yeah glassing yeah That's crazy. King hits is a punch to the back of the head. A king hit? Yeah.

They changed it to coward punch, but I prefer to say king hit because I think those guys have suffered enough without being called cowards for a punch in the back of the head. This guy can never do it over here because it's not a cowardly move, though. We call it a donkey punch. A donkey punch? Yeah.

The Mandra handshake. What is that? It's a rough town. Mandra's just a rough, shitty area. Yeah, it'd be like saying that's the, I don't know, the Arkansas handshake. Bang, right in the back of the head. And the Oxnard.

You can drink in public here to a much greater extent. On the ferry, on public transport, you can have a drink. Well, you're not supposed to, but the cops are too busy. We have much more crime, so the cops are busy. They're not going to bust you on the train drinking. I love this. Yeah. I love that it's a sufficiently poorly run country that freedom can exist here.

They won't get you. No, they can't. They're doing other things. Right. There's not enough money for them. Do you have any police in your family at all? No, I know. cops but not in my family so we have cops in our family and they'll tell you they're

you'll ask candidly you like why don't why doesn't cops ever like bus these guys on the train that are like blacked out trying to fuck it with people can you say that sure what do you mean oh it means okay I'm sorry going come on come on we're having fun and they go dude what am I going to do it's going to be more paperwork and time out of my day that I don't want to deal with I'll let them just be blacked out and ride the train and just don't take that train as often I mean it's not yeah but that's just the way it goes that's sort of beautiful because there are definitely things they could do

and choose not to do that would increase the efficacy of policing but make life worse for everybody. They got the AI now. So in my country, they got these cameras that if you're on your phone, they're going to get you. When you're driving?

When you're driving, and it just can tell what holding the phone looks like. Crocker shit. Evil. Crocker shit. Evil. I'm better when I've got my phone. I got that ADHD brand.

I need to watch soap carving videos while I drive. When you're watching a movie, you're on your phone as well. Well, yes. There should be a movie theater just for having your phone while you're watching a film.

I went to the Chinese theater yesterday for the first time. You know the Chinese theater? The actual Chinese theater. The Chinese theater. The Chinese theater. No, I went to the Chinese theater. Right.

Down on in Hollywood. Yeah. And I watched The Devil Wears Prada too. How was it? I got through about 25 minutes and I left. You got out. It was a big hunk of shit.

It was really fucking bad. Couldn't do it. I love the first one. I don't mind a girl movie. I love the first one. Fantastic. It had no tension. It had no plot.

Everybody looks terrible. I mean, no stakes. There were no stakes. Yeah, that's a big issue with film these days. It feels like they're not putting any stakes in anything.

You're like, what's the purpose? And they're like, well, they got to go on this thing together. And you're like, yeah, but what's the... All or nothing. You know, because if it's like a marbly thing, it's they got to save the fucking world or everyone's dead, which is too much.

Too much. I'm burnt out on that. We've got a lot of everyone's going to die movies. It's the apocalypse over and over again. Or it's nothing. Or it's like, well, she's 39 and she hasn't have a husband yet, but she likes this guy.

But the career's also pretty important. Pretty good. But she's got a backup job if she needs. It's just comfort, ease. But I wonder if that's, I mean, is that, have people lost the ability to do a good story? Or is something changed in the human character

where that has become what people would prefer to see? I'd argue it's a reflection of the, it's a mirror, it's a mirror of our culture. Our culture now is either like, I'm lost and I don't know what to do and I'm almost middle age and I feel confused because people are having less babies, getting married, less,

It's like we're all kind of like in traumatic, in traumatic purgatory from our parents' age, right, from the baby boomers. So you're like, I don't want to follow that road. But then they get to a place and they're like, well, who am I? I'm lost. And so if it's not bad, it's, is the world going to end? Let's see how it looks. And maybe this will, I don't know if this will. I mean, a lot of children are divorced out there.

Are you a children divorced? I'm an adult of divorce. They split up later. When you were old? I don't know, like four years ago. Oh, really? Yeah. What are you?

What are you? What are old? 35? I was in 31. That's great. It's better. It's nice of them to wait. It's better.

And I can see that now I just got, bam, what if I, because it's obviously it's horrible that they're splitting up, but I don't have to live with them. Yeah. Imagine have to live with them and have one fight all the time. And then I understand all the people I grew up with who had, you know, a split-up family, broken home, and then they go, oh, I don't know about having kids. They don't want to pass on. There's a respect they have.

For me, I had a relatively happy childhood, so we're just going nuts. We're just going nuts. We're having as many kids. I'm like, I don't, if they, you know. Are you going to have more kids? We'll have as many as God gives us. God bless you, man. God bless you, my son.

You're going to keep rolling. I like that. Keep rolling. Why not? I mean, so far we're okay. Four is not that much harder than three. A buddy of mine said that he's like, once you get past the hump, you're like, it is what it is. Three is hell, four is cattle.

And then five is. It's just cattle. It's a basketball team. You're the basketball team, dude. Yeah, well, not for you. Unless, is your wife also? look like you? She's a Samoan woman.

No one in this family is really basketball. My children's grandfather, my father was a great. Great athlete? He's a teacher. He's like in his 60s, and he's still plays in the staff student basketball game. Those who can't. Dominates the kids. Those who can't.

Because once you learn how to, I mean, shoot a three, that doesn't really age badly. No. And that's our white secret weapon. A white guy's secret weapon is a three. His name's Darrell. He's a white Daryl. And when he came to America, being able to play basketball, just unlock something in the black community for you.

So he's like a 65 year old man, whatever. And we would go for a walk and there'd be like a bunch of black guys in the basketball court and he'd go over and go, hello, I'm Darrell, the joy on these guys. Oh yeah. What, Darrow, I can't believe. Shit, we got a white D in this, motherfucker. And he goes, give me the ball. And then he's like, he just shoots a three and then he shoots another one.

And he didn't play like hard one on one. But they respect. They were so thrilled that this old white man. I guess that also doesn't happen as much for someone born in America. you learn over time, hey, they're doing their thing, you do yours. Yeah. But Darrell was just like so excited. It's like, man, it was a beautiful moment.

It earns you street credit, though. It's like when a foreigner runs into someone that speaks the same language overseas, and they're like, oh, my God, it's like your home again. Doesn't matter what they look like. It's like when you run into a fucking Aussie. The Aussies are out of control. They are. But they're great people.

I'm learning. I don't want to make everything about the Black experience, but I'm understanding now I'll have an Aussie who's a friend and this is aimed at no one in particular That's all right Go ahead But I have an Aussie who's a friend And I'll be able to get them in somewhere

And don't you know There are four, five other Aussies Just around the corner Who I don't know And all of a sudden I've got to do it for the culture It's for the culture And all of a sudden I'm mobbed by Ozzy

And I like being, I don't mind being around them I love Australians But it's that thing of like We're just gonna, come on we know you we're the same help us but true though I see it in every group everywhere all the time yeah

but Aussies stick together though because all I know is the Australians that I know out here they all are in business together right they'll open up restaurants and they'll hire all of their friends and their cousins I don't know this because in the rest of the country I mean we actually we kind of only go here in New York that's it well this one this one makes the most sense

yeah because it looks the same feels the same it's the exact same as Sydney and it's also so much closer I feel so I'm an Adelaide person I feel it's for Adelaide, those hills. The hills are Adelaide. Yeah. But I'm talking about the L.A. culture is very Sydney. There's the face.

Yeah. Everyone's got the same face. And our Silver Lake Echo Park is there, Melbourne. That's like the same thing. It's like hipster, cool. A nice Australian man who I don't have a problem with. It took me to, is it La Fez? It's something, Fez.

Faz. Oh, Los Felas? Los Felas. Yeah. And he took, and my goodness. But call it the Fizz. now on it was it was it was just like being in a hipster suburb in Australia there was no table service right there were jackarandas everywhere yeah the lady from the dirty

projectors walked in all of a sudden that's a big band for me huge I've oh my god I've heard an album about you getting broken up with you know I didn't know what to say did you say anything to her no I went love the love your album and she went all right that's nice I felt like it's odd because yeah I see people in my industry. And how I think, people go, oh my God, they go to your friend. If I was here with you, we were in public, someone would go, Zena, look at that.

They'd go crazy. Even if someone who was my friend, they'd still be so jazzed to see you. But with the musicians, when I'm, I'm a little boy, I can't stop. I get off on the musicians. I like music. I don't care about any other famous kind of people that I see. Just musicians. Well, just because you have this weird connection with, yeah, you feel like they've got the answer.

Yeah. There was like, there was a girl that I was a huge fan of that I, I loved her stuff and I had seen her on the east side as well. Like, I think it was in Silver Lake. And I got, like, nervous to say hello. And I almost have never been that way. But she's a, she's a, not going to say her name because I don't want to have an offense. She's not that famous.

Okay. But she's, she's like, an marginal on an indie rock group. You'd be like, people who know may know. But I was like, fuck, I can't believe. I just wanted to be like, hey, I love your shit. Yeah. But then I thought, I'm not going to fucking interrupt that girl. That's what a waste of her time and I don't want to, I don't want her to go, thanks, go away.

But they won't. But they might. Maybe they might. But they might. And they might write a song. Met this dipshit at a bar. I saw, I was in the, Kanye went to the comedy store this week. I got a story for you.

Well, yours is going to be better than mine because mine was just, I saw him from afar and I wanted to go up and say thank you, but I didn't. Why not? Because there were heaps of guys. But his rejection of you would have been worth the other side of it. He was sincere. Do you know he just stood in the room? He played his own song eight times. It's such a great thing.

Someone said, Dave Chappelle said, give him the orcs chord, let him DJ. He played his own song eight times. He just looked at everybody in the eye. Then he played half of Groovers in the Heart. What a good song. And then he played, but then he interrupted it for his own song again. Went back to his own song. I love them.

His music is better than Grooves in the Heart. Grooves in the Heart is one of the only truly important songs of the last 30, 40 years. Fact. Grooves in the Heart could come out now and people would go, that's cut an edge. That's great. Other than the rap, which has dated. Yeah. I love grooves in the hot.

Slide whistle, Boots of Collins in it for no real reason. It's a great song. And great changes, great tempo changes to the song. It's a great song. It's a great song. It's a modern song. I'm going to give you a weird... He doesn't even know. I didn't even talk to you about what happened last night.

Last night? Boy, do you wish you came with me? Boy, do you wish you came? He didn't let me. I did not let you because you had too many... See? He'll understand. He had too many...

You know how the Australians bring 10? 10 of theirs. He brought, you know, he had five of his stragglers from the east side. Four. That's too many stragglers, bud. I know. If you had one stragglers, I'd let you come. So I go to Chappelle's after after party. We go to the first one and no one's there. It's like for agents. It was like the decoy party. I was like, fuck, we got foiled. And then I went outside and I texted Dave and I said, look, I know you're getting blown up, but I, you know, I want to say hi. Because he had said the night before, come by the Palladium. And I said, we have a show. Bobby and I had a show, but I said, I don't think we're going to make it. Anyway, I said,

I'm here. I know you're getting blown up. Don't respect a response. Love you. Hope the show was amazing. See you later. Right away. He must have had his phone in his hand because he usually doesn't. He's usually kind of having fun. He's living in the moment. Yo, come to the spot. We go to the spot. Me and I text, I said, is okay if I bring a few people. And I did also, in parenthetical say, three of them are black men. Young black Hollywood is with me. So like that was a great pass. If I brought four whites. Your son is here. Yeah. Can I come? Can I come? So I bring these guys. We walk in. It's only about 50 people at the time and Talib Kuali and most deaf are on stage and they're doing black star. Wow. And then it starts to fill in and I'm like, this is amazing. Dave says hi.

Talib says hi, which, you know, you don't even know the inner child in me. He's on stage and then he sees me and daps me in front of everyone. And for a moment in time, I was like, well, I'm Jesus Christ. It's a big moment. And then it packs in even tighter because someone must be outside texting. Buster Rhymes gets on stage. Okay. Then Kanye gets on stage. Okay. And they start, because Kanye produced, you know. Yeah. So Kanye starts, they start doing, produced Kanye songs.

Then they start playing college dropout songs. And I stood there. I was with four other people, my cousin and some of my oldest friends and Devontre Coleman who opened. You know Devontre? He didn't tell me this whole story, but we gave him a lift home last night. Oh, you did? Yeah, he was actually way more interested in talking about how we would get to the McDonald's

than sharing the details about this party. That's my boy. So we're these I came in with these men But I left them immediately because I was like I got a front and stage and I wasn't gonna go back Once you're in the front of the cage you can I can't I didn't piss I didn't get another drink I was like I'm here and it was beautiful cast and I still I mean I was dancing But at one moment I was standing just looking at Kanye being like it's almost as if everything he said Disappears like he looks so good he looks great right now he said God know if he's a good work done

He's in his 50s or something. I thought what you just said. He looks slim. Incredible. His face was like he was very poised. He was statuesque. He had on these like high boots jeans and he stood there like militant, staring at people's eyes. And like occasionally going like this.

Like smiling a little bit of people. I thought this is it. Boy, you fucking missed out. That's crazy. I loved it every second of it. Kanye coming around the comedy scene makes me feel like he's going to come back. Like he's going to. You think he's getting ready for a podcast run?

100%. Yeah. He will do. He's got to have someone in the room with him this time. Yeah, dude. So Kanye, dude. What, Theo? So yeah, dude.

So what's up with all that Jew shit, dude? Imagine him preface it. He's like, did you really like Hitler, dude? How do people? I don't see how people can live here and get work done. Because there's all these famous, successful, exciting. And if you just even know someone, you can get in the orbit sometimes. It's so wonderful.

Yeah, but this is also because Netflix is a joke is going out. I know. So the rest of the time, I mean, I got to. to bring a person that night where it was like Chris Rock, Dave Chappelle, Shane, Louis, Kanye, they were all there. Yeah. My friend Fuzzy had never been to the comedy store before. And he got to go, is it like this all the time?

And people are going, no. No. No, that's insane. It's been two years since it was like this. But it was, I mean, it must have been, there must have been a time when there was that energy. Oh yeah. Pre-COVID, it was, it did feel like that.

Pre-COVID was incredible. At one point, the comedy store felt like, I don't know. It was like a dream sequence most nights. You were like, I can't believe all these fucking people are here. But, you know. Do you think people are not disposed to do the, I mean, because there are, there are not as many big podcasts in L.A. as I think they maybe should be. I mean, you and Bobby Lee do three of them.

Yeah. Out of the five. And I've said this before and I'll say it again. And then I think there's probably a couple other, I mean, goodness knows how you get on the Burrcast. Yeah. And the Monday morning podcast. Well, you got to bring a nail polish and who he will let you on. If it's a color he likes, then you can get on.

He loves painting his nails. I said yesterday he had bright blue ones. He said, for the 5K. I said, you could wear shoes. He was like, yeah, but it's for me. I was like, okay, it's good for you. We've all got to do what we can for ourselves. But I mean, why isn't it?

It feels like, I mean, this is where Hollywood is where the glamour was, is where all the industry of show business was. Yeah. And that it's just sort of, I was speaking to someone who worked with, like, Fox. And they said, we don't make any shows here anymore. We don't make one show. We do two animated things that are done overseas. and there's one that is happening in Norway.

But all the offices are here, all the studios are here. We don't make anything here anymore. But no one's even in them. They're just kind of empty spaces. I mean, Netflix just bought CBS Radford, is that right? Yeah. For 400 million? It doesn't say CBS on it anymore.

It was on the market initially. Look it up $2 billion. What they get it for in there? 400 million. We should have gone in on that. No, I mean, you may be better than I. I'm just, I'm trying to earn enough to pay taxes. Don't, don't.

Don't. Don't ever do it? No, Snipes got away with it for a long time. I'm on a visa. I'm on a visa. Which one are you on? O2? I'm 01. You're the alien of unusual size?

Yes. The rodents of unusual size? I'm the big fat, big fat Zeno problem. How much was the original sale of CBS Rafford? By the way, CBS Rafford, historic, it was where Seinfeld was taped. I mean, the amount of shows that were filmed there historically for Hollywood. Wait, but it's everywhere and everything where you go, can't they? Are we just getting ready for AI to come and...

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, settle in. Although I do get a little bit of humility or peace of mind through AI when... Do you see these little robots that carry food? Yes, whenever someone kicks them over. And they don't work, and I go, we're good. If they can't figure that out yet, we've got a couple more years left.

Whenever I see a Waymo stuck somewhere. Waymo stuck, it's not impending, do. I did see a Waymo pull a move last night that blew my mind. Everyone was... The valet line was clogging up the right lane, right, of a pass-through. And you know how you immediately put on your signal to get out of that lane because you're like, it's valet's chunking. The Waymo did that.

And I was shocked. Fanged it. What? It jetted out. It accelerated out. I thought, wow, Waymo. It's learning. It's learning.

I've never seen that. Usually they're very slow. No, it did it last night. And I was a little, I was a little shocked. I've never had one problem with a Waymo. I've been in them countless times. Never ever. I've never had one serious issue.

And also, I think they're pushing. I once said no to a Waymo because they won't go on the freeway. And then, like, so in Austin, you've got to. You've got to, all right, I've got to get to the club. It's going to take 30 minutes and the Waymo 10 minutes with a person. So I said, no, I don't want a Waymo this time. And they sent me the worst person in the world. And I think they're doing this on purpose to punish me.

And to go, you'll take the fucking Waymo. You don't have a choice. Look what a person can be. It was a lady showed up. God bless her. She had a dog in the car. You don't often see that. She was playing Centauria full volume.

She was an old lady who was not happy with me. I couldn't get in the car. I had like a push her thing. She went, I knocked. Like, hey, I don't know how to do that. It was like a Tesla bit it had no handle. Or something. The handle was like Ian, it was like some new fucking look-at-a-slidy-da.

And you had to put your thumb on something for it to open. So I didn't know that. I knocked. And she goes, Santa Ria's playing. Dogs run around. She goes, knock and won't open it. I mean, okay, I'll get the Waymo next time. I know what's being...

Look into that car companies. Knocking should open a door. That would be nice. Hello? Come on in. Did she have a crystal ball? No, she had beads everywhere, though, on the chair. It was like a very, it was like, there was a lot of shit going on.

Yeah. God bless her, God help her. I did wish I was in the way. God bless her, God help her. God, God, help her. That's a nice way. What we say, what we say here in the States. God, comma.

God, comeer, bless her. God help you. We say, we say, what's the phrase that parallels that in the South? They say, bless her heart. Bless her heart means we feel bad for you. Yeah. Bless her heart. I love, have a blessed day.

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It's made right here in U.S. Hey. Every batch is third-party tested. You've got to grab yourself some. I feel very good. Man, I've been doing a lot of kettlebell workouts. You can make fun of me in the comments. And I love taking Mars men.

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You got overwhelmed. You're like, enough. It's not. that slow down. But I had a crush on Melbourne because I shot a movie there and then we toured there. When I was shooting a movie, I was there for three months. I brought my parents over. I loved it so much. Yeah. I just thought this is, it's like a version of a major metro city that we have, but it feels more playful. That is true. It doesn't feel as angry. There's not as much bullshit. We didn't have, we didn't have the white flight in the 70s and the downtowns stayed pleasant.

I mean, there's not that many places. LA's a bit different because it's so big that there's a thousand little villages all over the place. But my goodness, a lot of the places,

you go to the middle of it and it's fucking hollowed out. And you've got to go way out over there and everyone's living in a band, you know, everyone with money and privilege and a lack of melan. They're living way over there in the outside.

And we rich people are in the middle. The culture's in the middle. The stuff is in the middle. And so a town of one or two million people, you know like Adelaide, Brisbane, Perth they're nice. Yeah. You can walk around.

It's like France. We love Perth. We love Perth. And we loved Adelaide, by the way. Look, Adelaide is my... We did enjoy Adelaide. Yeah. What's the one we didn't like?

Auckland. No, we liked all of them. No, we liked all of them. No, no, there was one that we were confused because the venue was so odd. Was it Brisbane? They were all... That was like a fever dream.

We did so many shows. You got to think of the venues and the clubs. It's just not quite enough cities to get a... Major tour. People can do festivals. Tell that to Arge Barker. But he's a big festival guy. But doesn't he just live in tour the whole time down there? I don't know if it's even a secret Because for a long time I think he was he was like hiding that he'd moved to Australia and we all know all the comics Talk about it. Wow, here I am

Right Right, right. Yeah, it's like, it's been over there. I think he married. It's like it's like Jimmy Carr. Yeah He lives on an airplane. He does. He does not he's like a live in London like no, you don't. I've seen New Austin for the past four weeks straight and then you're in California before that and then you were in Florida like he lived on the go. I can't do it. I can't do it. Well, you have someone you love at home. So many people. I like my wife and my children. It's great. Yes, but I, sometimes I, man, life on the road gets so, I've just been here for a week and that's great. But after this, it's like every city is one day, two shows, one day, because I'm just trying to get, I'm trying to make as much

money as I can to go home in the shortest amount of time possible. Have you thought about bringing the family with you? I mean, they lived here for two years with me. No, no, I mean, on the go, on the road. Yeah, I think, I'm thinking of at the end of the year, maybe I'll just get like, house and three months because I can bring father I can bring father-in-laws and like people come and help and I just go out on the weekends and three months that's how you know wouldn't that be good I think that would be nice I get a nice house maybe in the valley you're like a long shorman's schedule just do three months on three months off three months off it's genius I don't know you could do it I what I really want to do is hire somebody to do my act for me it's in a man on the road

who could we hire that you're going to get a lady I'm going to hire a lady oh yeah because people like that. Although that work thing is over. I should have done it five, ten years ago when people were looking for a lady. A lady could do your act. I got a cool black lady.

Oh man. I met Ms. Pat last night. They had a very embarrassing moment. Why? I did the Story Wars show and I had to get my dick out. You pulled your cock out. Well, Ari Shafir was on it

and he did the first round and he won and then for no reason he had his penis out. No, there is a reason, but it's not a good one. It's a beautiful penis. Right. But there was no choice for me.

I felt comedically. Had to pull your dick out. I had to, when I was next, and I won, it's like, well, it's really funny if... Do you have a nice penis? Well, a lot of the time, yeah, but I didn't like get it ready and I was very scared, so it was like a nub. It was teeny tiny. You got a prep. I did not rub any blood into it whatsoever.

Got it. It's nub-like, and I shook it around. And then her voice comes out of the crowd going, hey! Hey! And Ms. Pat comes on stage and goes, after my, Dick's back in my pants, she goes, this is the smallest penis I've ever seen in my life.

Ever, Miss Pat? She's doing three, four minutes on my small penis. You want to, and I'm told they're going to blur, because I didn't know that there was a gas digital, uncensored version as well. I thought I was getting full blur, but I hope they blow that one too. Doubt it.

Well, I've asked. And, but it was this, do you ever feel that? When you're on stage, you go, this is funny, to do this thing. I don't really want to. With Bobby, we do a lot of bullshit that I don't really want to do, but we do it. But I don't do nudity because... Smart. Bobby, well, here's also why. Smart. Your presentation also has to pair well with the nudity. If I get naked, it's almost like

an odd threat. But Bobby is a short little dumpling, goofy, weird. So when he gets naked, they go, funny, if I get naked, it's almost like an assault. People are going to be like, I don't, that's not, I don't want to see that. That's not okay. Like Bobby shows his asshole. If I showed my asshole, they'd go, no, no, no. Padji, Ginger. bearded, right man. You know, we all want to do it, clearly. So we should be allowed. People should get hip to it.

You are allowed. I am not allowed. You're more disheveled than I am. You think being disheveled is helpful. For the nudity part, yes, it is. Really? Yeah, 100%. I think we could take a poll.

Guys, can you vote down below? Does dishevel ginger get more points for showing nudity? If I do it, I feel like it's going to be. If I do it's going to be able to go away with it? Would have helped. You can find a clever way around. It's like writing a better version. of the joke. How about if you man Gina, that's, everybody laughs at that.

God, I came close last night. It was, and there's no threat. It was a nub like, I thought I had a reasonable pain. Unless, by the way, we talked about this today, unless it's clever, like puppetry of the penis. Are you aware of the puppetry of the penis? Yes, one of my friends, Mickey D. was a standing. He was the small penis. Oh, that's, dude, that's so, what a great role. Yeah. Because then there's no, then you're the comedic relief. You're also like the, you're also making people more comfortable because you're like, here's a average person's penis. You too.

They did, someone did one with tits, two ladies with boobs were doing the boobs. Boobes aren't as funny as penis. Yeah, it's pretty exciting the whole time. Look at us, we can rub them together. It's like, can you now, all right? For those that don't know, cock origami is so much, it's an entertaining thing to watch people do origami with their cops. I'm sorry, I took it to this place. There's a high-minded discussion before, and it just happened last night, and it was really early in the morning, and I was...

It's fine. Also, this odd thing happens at two, where, people have to get all the alcohol off the stage? Do you know about this? Because you can't serve after two. You can't even have it. It's not that they can't give you a new one. Really? I don't know that.

People storm the stage and stole it. Can't crack a new beer, but you can drink it until whatever. They just can't serve it after two. That probably was the store trying to regulate. Yeah. It's a real fascist. If you know a guy that owns a bar. Smoking indoors is a bit of a revelation in this country.

Not a fan. Oh? Not a fan. You're a bit old. You might have grown up with it. I hated growing. My dad used to smoke in the car. Drove me nuts

With the windows up I've quit recently But I like It's something romantic about it It is I'm still a consumer of nicotine I'm not gonna pretend that I don't But I just don't I can't smoke

You as inning? No no What are you taking? In fact Like I do a plug for them I do a thing called Nick NACs NICNAC Oh the Nick Nat Naturales

I get their mailing list I love them They're like little mints Yeah And they dissolve And there's no I think the hits are stronger I don't get chewing them by I couldn't stop chewing them and then I'd feel weird.

Yeah, it says dissolvable. They tell you not to do it. Yeah, they do right on the thing. They really make it clear. It's not their fault. No, it's like the whole package. But I couldn't, I mean, they taste quite nice. They do.

It's always with a lozenge, I can't help. You crack it right away. Oh yeah. Like how many, how many times? How much time does the world have as original? Two, three, four, and then I was feeling pretty sick. Yeah. But man, I do like them.

They're good. Fantastic. But I've come off all of it. I've come off all nicotine. So nothing? Nothing for three. There's caffeine. Yeah, we had a new baby.

Lots of caffeine. Yeah, have to. And I think I'm getting fat. I'm getting more fat. Getting fat. I was fat before and I'm becoming more fat. Got it. I think it's just important to stay the weight you are.

Even if you are fat, if you stick at that level of fat, it's fine. How fat are you? Oh, I'd be like 2.30? No chance. What? 2.30? 2.40? You think I'm more?

No, less, brother. You're not fat? Well, you think that's not fat? It's 240? No, I'm saying you're not a fat guy. I carry it. I wear a big shirt. I carry it all.

on the gut and the tit. There's no dick weight. Let me tell you that. Miss Pat told us. That's the smallest dick I ever seen. I didn't. She's going to use that one of her shows. She was out there going, I couldn't suck that dick.

I swallow it all. Oh, damn it. Hello. Nice to meet you too. You never met her before? Never. Great timing on Miss Pat. Wait, 230's wrong.

I bet you're 2-17 to 2-25. No, I'm fatter than I look. I was away for four months. I went back home. We had a baby. I came back here to tour. And some people look way better. In just four months, Shane lost white.

Shane looks better. Yeah, lost weight. And then other people who I will not name, you go, oh, fuck, what's going on in your life? Just give us initials. Just give us the initials. No, I couldn't do it. Don't do it. But it's like, it can happen fast.

Your life can come together or fall apart really quickly. You're three months away from a much better or much worse version. It's oddly, there's this happy middle ground. If people are making no money, you have to eat unhealthy food. so typically in your lifestyle is harder, so you're getting bigger, quicker. Yeah. And then when you get too much money,

like the richest people I know, they get very unhealthy, very fast because they're eating nothing but delicious, high salt, high fatty, high-end foods all the time, and they just don't care. They don't have to exercise. They're overworking. The middle ground is the perfect,

where you're not poor, you're not rich, you're making enough money where you're like, well, I can still take care of myself and eat good once in a while, but then eat bad sometimes. Who is this guy who has the bit about rich people and poor people being the same? Kumia?

Kumil, Najiani? No. Anthony Kumia. No, it's a good premise. Yes, I think it's Anthony Kumia. And it's, am I getting this right? Rich people, poor people, because I tried to do a bit about it, about rich people and poor people being the same.

Yeah. And then someone said, it's his bit. It's one of the best bits ever. Damn. And I had so many examples, and they're all different, but I couldn't. Couldn't plug it out. I couldn't do it. Am I getting it right?

There's a lot of bits about rich people and poor people. All right. It's back on. Back on. It's too broad. Fairground. Everybody's doing it. It's pretty broad.

It's back on. I mean, it's lots of cars. Rich people and poor people. People in the middle? One kind of cars you need. But poor people, so many fucking cars. Yeah. Having a boat.

Hitting your kids. Yeah, these are all the same things. There's a lot. I really think that rich, this is why the Trump working class vote goes together. Yeah. Because poor people can go, fuck, if I had money, I'd have a big gold plane. And it's people in the middle who go, that's gosh and wrong. Right.

But really, isn't that what we all? Is it Adam Carolla? It might be Adam Carolla. Yeah. It was very good. It was very good. I had something like that years ago about religion. That the most religious people I've ever met were very, very poor and very, very rich.

Everybody else in the middle is busy. Yeah. It's like, do you go to church? Like if you're a working class family, you got to. You have to go, you know? But if you're like upper middle class, you're like, we can't on Sunday. We have stuff to do. But if you're super, super rich, you're so rich and bored.

they're like, I need justification for how I got so rich. I need, poor people want hope, rich people want reason. You know, there's something odd happening at the moment with, like, young men going to church, and that's become sort of hip. It's back. Yeah, I think it's back. That in breaking your jaw to make you grow. Yeah.

Which way, Western man? You're going to go to Mass once a week, or are you going to have an overdose? You're going to have your chiseled jaws? slam into the ground at a night. I love this concept. I think it was such a funny, it was such a funny bit that turned into a real thing. People are like, yeah, you got to break your jaw. And at some point the internet's like, that's insane. Months go by and they're like, have you tried, have you seen anyone that's tried it? Because it could work. In the flesh? Yeah. Listen, I don't want to start any shit. What did Matt Rife do?

You think he did the jaw thing where you break your jaw? I'm not saying he did anything. He could just be chewing a lot of gum. I've seen photos of him before. He didn't. Look great. Yeah. Now, he looks very different. I'll say another one. John Mullaney, what happened to that face? What happened?

What did happen? Have you seen the man's jaw? No. Transformed. Really? Yeah. So he's gotten sharper? Broader, sharper.

But you think he brought up? I don't know what's going on. I mean, I know Tony's got more testosterone than he used to have, all right? I'll go people I know as well. And Tony's open about it. Yeah. He's a butch-burly boy now. Tony. It's a big, strong masculine man.

Okay. But tell me, John Mullaney's face isn't... New. Something's going on there. I don't know this. Do you know this? No. I haven't noticed it, but now I'm gonna be... Now I'm gonna look at it's like blue car theory. We were like, I haven't seen a blue car. Blue cars everywhere. It's gonna be. Am I wrong? Have you got it? What are you gonna do to your face? You gonna do anything? No, come on. No. Oh wow. Yeah. No, it's different. I bet you know what my guess would be? What?

HGH and or testosterone. Maybe. Growth hormone. Because it's going to make you, growth hormone's going to naturally make you. Gender affirming therapy. And we should all be getting it. You should be getting it.

I don't believe in it. You should affirm your gender. I mean, I thought I had a pretty big penis until last night. You might have to switch it up. It's scary up there. Jamil McCann. Is that, this Kamail Najiani? Something's happened there.

Well, it's got to be steroids. And then also, I see him in the commercial with that man from, it's always sunny. Rob McElney, yeah. And they have the same face and the same body. Beautiful, man. They used to look like totally different guys from each other. And now they're in baths together.

Looking the fucking same. It's like some hunger games, weird. Yeah. What the fuck's going on with these guys? The Illuminati gets a hold, do you think? Hey, I'm not here to Cat Williams. I'm not here to do a Cat Williams. This is not Shee-She-She.

Come on, James. Come on, man. No. My favorite is Cam Newton. with his many hats trying to rein people in. So funny. Such big hats. Please.

My favorite Cam Newton, we talked about it, was what's a guy's name? He's like, I'm going to name one person. You're going to say one word. He's like, gay. What was that dude's name? Yeah. Oh, I see him. Tiny guy, small little dude.

He's like Michelle Obama. He's like, a dude. He's just like name one word responses to everything. It's great. Oh, the bald guy? Yeah, Charleston, Charleston, Charleston White. He's wonderful. He's hilarious, dude.

He's a terror. The best part is, I know he knows. It's great. You're like, oh, he knows. It's amazing. I'm starting to understand how it all. It takes time for me to figure out what everyone's angle is. Yeah.

Because you just, you come in and, like, Cam Newton, he hates Notre Dame. I'm fine. Just the more time I spend with, it's like, well, he'll be finding something nasty to say about Notre Dame. No matter what it is, because he knows that. It gets them fired up. It gets people riled up. And that someone else, you know, shoots back. And, but it's all, you know, it's a game.

It's a dance. It's a constant. And I don't think, I don't think Stephen A. Smith can be allowed to be president. I think the Democrats have time now. Listen, he's going to win if they don't do something. Stephen A. Smith? He's so good. You think he's going to.

He's going to run. He talks about it all the time. Have you seen this? You know there's literally no chance he would run. No, I don't. That's what they said about Trump. No, but Trump was such a public figure in that right where he was best friends of politicians. Stevens baiting people.

He loves bait. It's his favorite thing. We're more likely to get Spencer Pratt in office. Let's go, SP. People like him. People love him. Yeah. Here's why.

He's following the exact same playbook as Trump, except he's doing it from a middle. he's doing kind of like a centrist centrist nonpartisan like but he's tickling the rights brain enough and then tickling the left's brain enough it's very clever running as a Democrat I think he is as a way he's registered as a Republican but see what he's running as

because Nathania Rahman and Karen Bass are both Dems yeah I think he's probably maybe he's an independent but he was like fixed the harmlessness that's all I well his whole his whole basis was that his house burnt down with his parents childhood home burned down in the palisades and so does all of his friends and they couldn't fix it and there was so many and so much of what he's saying is true in the fact that like they fucking shit the bad with that yeah real real bad

real real bad and so then he's saying hey I'm gonna run for the people yeah but that's what you just talked about yeah Trump's like I'm running for you I mean yes I'm a billionaire but I'm running for you also it's when you have things that are glaring that you point that you go the border's not secure you can't have a country if you don't have a border right I'll do it and people are going How dare, you can't do it. It can't be done. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it.

I mean, this is also, I don't understand. Gavin Newsom, he doesn't have numbers on the board just because that $20 billion in a train that doesn't exist. Yeah. You can't. His hair and his face carry him so far. It's not enough. No.

Tell us where the $20 billion went, whatever it is. They don't need to because they go, don't worry about it. But you can see that he went, if I can get that train built, how good that is for me. And he just couldn't fucking do it. I don't know why. I don't know if it's corruption. There's a couple things here that I, like, it's so beautiful.

And you go, why can't they fix that seemingly easy thing to? Well, we're also the fourth largest economy in the world. Yeah. This is an impossible state. It shouldn't be a state. We should be broken up into. Where would you cut it off? Well, I mean, you could divide this into northern central and southern California, for sure.

San Diego and Los Angeles is one. Southern California. So, yeah, anything. So Stockton, Sacramento. Yeah. The middle. Bakersfield and everything in the middle, where the four. farm country is, it would be Central California, the Central Valley.

Yeah. And then above that, the Bay Area and up, its own thing. You could do it. Well, Texas is allowed to break up. They should. Do you know about this? This is like, everyone says Texas has like the right to leave America. To see the union. It doesn't. But it has the right to break itself up into five different states. Zones. So if ever they're losing, if the Republicans or whoever Texas is backing, they want extra seats in the center. They can just break themselves up and have like, 10 extra guys. Smart.

They've never done it. They haven't done it. There's a couple things like that. People go, oh, the norms of democracy aren't holding. It's like, no, there's like so, you guys have so many. It's weird to have a country where the Constitution has like holstered guns that it just had to.

Like, we can't stack the court. Whenever we need to stack the court, we can't. We haven't done it yet. But maybe we will. The filibuster. You got it. I'll get rid of the filibuster if we have to, but we haven't done it yet. Yeah, you got to keep loopholes.

But it's like, everyone knows they're there. And whenever, and people go, he's a fascist. It's like, well, he hasn't, Trump hasn't stacked the court, he hasn't gotten rid of the filibuster, he hasn't broken Texas up into all the, I mean, you could do all those things within the rules. Yeah? And people just go, not right now.

But it's finger hovering over the red button. It's saying, we can do this whenever we want, just letting you know. This is also long term, a bit stressy. That's why I realize this season in America now, it's like pre-midterm is so important where you go, it feels like nothing's happening. Feels like, what are we, you know, where is the, where's the opposition? And then all of a sudden the election comes around.

You go, fuck, where the hell did that come from? Oh, yeah. This is, I want to get out. And then after the election, it's like, come, everybody come right down. They're plotting, planning, and scheming right now. At all times. No, but right now, harder than ever. That's why everything is quiet.

Yeah. They're like, you guys go, go play. Go play outside. The parents are going to talk inside. Calm before the storm. Huh? The calm before the storm. This is...

Happened them flies. It happens every single time. Yeah. Every single time. And then everything will explode. Yeah. Panic, freak out, chaos, and then goes back again. It's a great cyclone.

movement. You love Texas, though? Do I love Texas? Yeah. I love some of the, I love so many of the people in Texas. Okay, dude. I love so much of what's going on in Texas. It is geographically hideous. It's really, with like small exceptions. The, you know, like East Texas where it becomes the South, you know, the hill country in Central Texas, beautiful. Summer West Texas, when you're driving a hundred miles an hour everything looks pretty nice but in general not flat

they go big scar it's because it's flat it's because it's flat nothing there I on I had a great time in Texas and I owe people in Texas a lot and I loved it

but fuck it's not a real you got like you know we've got to have more than one I want a little cafe that I can sit at it and watch the world go by a little bit

you can give me that option Where do you want to be if you could be anywhere in the States? Oh, in the States? Yeah. I'd like to be, man, if they can figure out New Orleans and stop people stabbing each other in the French quarter? It's not going to happen. Come on. Now, dude.

Superful. I believe. It's about to be underwater. Yeah, it's about to be fucked again. Don't say that. Don't say that. What do you mean? Well, that's just what's going to happen.

Yeah, you're probably right. It's really great. I mean, there are so many great cities. I love, I started out in Stubmanville, Ohio. I loved it. Stub. East Ohio, River Valley. Appalachia

Fuck, driving through West Virginia was like gorgeous Almost heaven I'll, I'm about to head back I'm about to head up back there Very good Portland again there's so many places It's great but it's like

If you could just sort this out If I could just fix Like 30 guys Even a 30 guy swing Would turn this town around So much It's not gonna happen Sanitarium

Sanatorium, what are they called? We've got so many fucking head doctors and therapists, and they're all helping young professionals assuage their guilt and feel better about being barren at, you know, whatever. Get out there with the crackheads. Get them in one of these and help. Those are the people who need their head doctor. If all these billionaires are going to do one thing, you don't have to clean up America's downtowns. You need to build institutions that people can be ushered into and get treatment and help. We try here.

Really, I've started rounding them up? They do, but it just doesn't work because I think, unfortunately, there's a lot of mental health facilities and centers in Los Angeles. They do not work because they don't work. Yeah. It doesn't work. People don't work. It doesn't work. You can't convince someone who's... I just want a concentration.

Yeah, I know. And we'll bring it back for you. I'm trying to make it sound much. That's because your grandfather own a train company, and this is your whole thing. I was trying to buy for his family business. Yeah. You think I don't know. We looked you up, guy with four names.

Something has to happen. You can't. You can't, I mean, you watch a movie from the, in Rocky, sorry, Rambo, in Rambo. He's just trying to get a fucking sandwich and they chase him out of town. Right. It's not like, in Cape Fear, they're like, you know, the original Cape Fear, they're like, fuck this guy. Get him out of here, vagrant.

But you, like having that in your town makes it more likely that that becomes worse as a problem. Sure. You need a society. You need like a village green and high trust. If people's trust arose, then when people are down on, they're like, you don't take them in. You don't help them.

You go like, well, fuck, this is spooky. You've got to build back the trust. We're way far gone. You have to find another trick. I mean, LA's done a bunch of different ways of failing itself. Remember they bust a lot of people out to the desert? Do you remember that? What?

The city got sued. They put people on school buses. City buses or school buses? They threw them out to like Joshua Tree. They were like, bye. They got sued. It was crazy. Yeah.

And they're like, there's facilities out there for you. Got to put them in the army. Here's the other things. There are beds. This is what Mao did with the opium crisis. Mao Zedong. Mao Zedong put them in, I'm sure they just killed a lot of them. But what they said they did was they put them in the army.

You take an opium addict. You give them meaning, you have in purpose. You give them a uniform. Obviously, like, a different division. You're not going to have them with all the... They're frontliners. That's a real job. Someone has to do that.

Someone has to be on the front line. They build big statues of you. They say, we love you. And who wouldn't, you know, if that was coming at you. you'd think twice the crackhead front line that's an important guy yeah it is

they'll find a way to get drugs in the military berserca they well yeah it's tough hey I'm not saying it's not tough I don't think the answer

is a full Singapore style you know anyone brings drugs in and we just take them out break their legs I do wish cops had those had those

belly clubs no no they have those like long sticks oh that yeah they're like malleable sticks they can smack you with you've watched the videos Oh yeah, I've watched the videos, dude.

It's insane. It's like the way they stand. It's crazy. It's so like proper in the way they snap. It's the same way that like the British Royal Army composes their horse when it's biting a woman right next to them. It's one of my favorite

videos. I've seen that one. Oh, there's always like a woman that goes too close to the horse in front of bucking him. And they pose, there's huge signs. Do not get close to the horse. Complete ignorance. They kind of way. And they get, oh!

And they get their fucking arm. And the soldier will sit there and go, get away from the horse! And they'll stare right like they don't pay any mind. And these tourists are getting their arms bitten by horses. It's my favorite thing to watch. I'll be careful if I... You have to watch that. It's so good.

And they, because if you're in the way, they will just march over you. They're instructed to march through you and over you. I reckon that they enjoy that. Let's payback for... Love it. It's payback for when they have the big hats and people are getting right up in the face and they can't do anything. Okay, you can't do anything to me, mate. See what happens when you try it with the horse.

Yeah. See, when you try that. With the horse on the whip. The Singapore hitting videos are pretty full on. That was an American, you got, you had a guy, right? In like the 90s, you had a kid who was going to get, hit by the Singaporeese. Oh, right, yes.

No, we had an American tourist who went over there and like, fucked around and found out. Was this where people like, don't you hit our guy? Yeah, we do that all the time though. Yeah. Britney Griner brings drugs into a country they told her don't bring drugs into. Is that what she did? Is that what she didn't?

That's what she didn't? We did that. And then we're like, we got to save you! I remember when Wiz Khalifa was being arrested. Yeah, dude. Trump went in and like saved Wiz Khalifa. We have to save Whiz. Was it Wysklaef, was Aesk?

Is it right. We got him back Aesop. He got him back Aesop. They're all the same to me. I like them all the same. I'll pardon you. Pardon me, that's our, that's our A sap. But if it's happening, if it's here, people go, let the law.

Handle it. Handle it. But if it's overseas and they also do something bad, people go, how fucking do that? I think, like, the Hague, is it the Hague? Yeah, the Hague? The American policy is that an American has ever tried for war crimes in the Hague, you're just going to bomb the shit out of the Hague and take them back. Yeah, dude.

Like, there's no, everyone goes, oh, international norms, international rules. No, no, no, no. It does not apply. No, there's rules of war, but we break them religiously. And I mean that, pun intended. Yeah. This is an odd time. This is a bit of an odd time.

Let's talk about something lighter. You and I are on a run though. This is actually very fun. Pormuzi and straight. I do like it a lot. They got to open up that straight. Let's talk about your happiness right now. You're going to the beach.

The kid's going to go to the Malibu. I love it. Did you bring a towel? Yeah, I did bring a towel from the Airbnb. It's not a great smell and towel. It's one that's been overwashed and used. Yeah. Towls do have a shelf life.

It's set there for too long. It's so gross to me. That smell. Everyone on Earth knows that smell. Yeah. By the way, it's global. Anywhere you could go around the world. You get that smell. That smell is in a towel. Always. Good towel. I don't want to travel with a towel. Some people must. I know people to travel with pillowcases, because when they go to a hotel, they don't like them, so they put on... And it's thin and easy to pack. You travel with a flip-flop for the showers at places? I'm shocked that my... I'm not getting foot fungus, and I've been in a lot of different places.

That's funny to think. I've never done that. When we were on the bus, you did? Because we were showering at the venues. Yes, because we had to shower on the bus. You had to shower at the theaters and I was like these are repulsive undergrounds. I mean it was honestly it was like going into Narnia underneath the theater and they're like there is a shower one of the lights will get you all the way to the end of the hallway. Best theater best best theater slash venue you had a shower at ever. I'll start radio city musical. Well that's that was pretty nice. That's fine. I mean the Riemann was cool. Well the Riemann you took a shower at the Riemann.

We sure did. We did laundry at the Riemann. The Riemann is a Laundriette the Riemann felt amazing. So, wow. Like folding your underwear in the basement of the Riemann is incredible. And you think maybe Johnny Cash had someone do that for him? And he's like, hey, these aren't dry. This is where Johnny kicked the lights in. If you've seen, walk the line.

That's where he falls down. So Johnny threw June down these steps twice, and she did not get hurt because that's why we put padding on them. It is so, the South has such a way of presenting tragedy as such like. It was a moment of time for us. Like, that's just what we did. And they'd yell at blacks out this window right here. Bless their hearts. Bless their heart.

They'd be walking back. So we had to cast that Emmett Till statue in concrete because people kept shooting at it. They were breaking it. That's my favorite one. I think it's steel. I think they had to make it steel. Yeah, because people were fucking it up. Yeah.

Which doesn't, I struggle to square what I know about the South with what I've seen about the South. But the South is so, it's not, you can't encompass it in one little, it's so dynamic. When you said New Orleans, New Orleans is the South, nothing at all. I say Alabama. But I mean, New Orleans is the South. It is. But it's nothing like Mississippi.

It's nothing like North Carolina. Like these things are all remarkably different. Yeah. It's the same as, you know. We have to find out Texas is not the South. It's not. It's its own thing. It's really its own thing.

Texas is Texas. Maybe in the deep, you know, Texacana. No, it's, it's always been its own little. Yeah. That's why they carry that out. attitude. Yeah. Because they're like, we aren't the South, we're Texas. But it's just another style of the South. They're very similar. No. No, I can't. That, all that weird, gay, Frenchy South stuff that like, New Orleans. Well, yeah. Literally. But like when you watch the,

oh, man, do you, oh, fuck, who, what's the James, um, like a gone with the wind? Paul Gi-a-Mari. Oh, oh. The Poe-Gi-Mari show. Um, where it's like, the hell of Southern is there. But they're all like, John Adams. There's none of that. John Adams, the John Adams show. It's like, all the, well, governor.

The great state of Virginia. There's none of that in Texas. Texas is very like, I have a ranch. You better never come with that kind of attitude. No. Those are like British, though. That's like 1700s.

Those are like, that's a dead. No, that lives on. But that exists. We know there's politicians from southern states who still have a sense of that flamboyance. But that exists at a very, very high. Egalitarian. Yes, correct. It's way up there.

At a lower level, it's all dissipated. That's not really there as much. No, I've met campy. Well, then you're a fancy boy. Also, I mean, I did, I think it was Montgomery. It was somewhere in Alabama. And I said, well, take me out to a bar. I've done a show there.

I was like, let's go to a bar. And I think they took me to the only fucking trans bar in all of Alabama. It's like pride flags everywhere. It took one look at you and he goes, we know where he wants to go. Not like flashy, big city trans. small town autistic trans someone went up and saying

no children a trans went up and sang no children by mountain goats it was great and then like sat in a corner of the bar playing counter strike on a laptop and you go

well this this is not what I thought Alabama would be that's like the Starbucks and Burbank That's all that is that's just a local Burbank Starbucks

No but I get I get what you're saying yes that does still exist that fanciness like that highfalute fanciness but it is it is dying

It's sad. Your favorite region of the states? Oh, I couldn't. Oh, maybe. I mean, they're all great. I think I can. I love Arizona. I do the Arizona drive a lot, but then, I will say, you get to Phoenix and you go, what the fuck of, why?

A different story. Why is it here? Yeah. But there's so, the alpine, I mean, in the east where it's like Mars. Go up north. You've been up north to Flagstaff? So I go through Gallup, and then I went through Route 66. But I saw mountains.

I saw fucking trees. And then you come in and it's just extended California in the west. And it's like there's five, six states here. They're all great. And Phoenix is the most hideous landscape there is. So like why, but why? I mean, you're going through fucking forests, 45 minutes out of Phoenix. Yeah.

And they go, nah, put it in the desert. Yeah. What are they doing? I used to have a shitty joke about that that that I said, I went to Arizona State and I lived there. And I fell in love with the state of Arizona. much beauty to it but whenever I met a white person who's like ancestors like who's from there from there from there I was always mind boggled I thought that's crazy your family

gave up like they were so close to getting to the west coast yeah the only reason people went west was to was because of the gold rush and opportunities of work you just slowed down and they go this is this is it it it will be fine here they're lazy like can you imagine Arizona is so close to California, and they were like, we're going to get there. And they're like, I just think this is it. I think Nana's sick. The canyon you've got, I stay at Hotel El Rancho. Oh, yeah.

Which is on the border of New Mexico. Oh, so New Mexico. Yeah. Insane. Insane. No, I love New Mexico. I enjoyed it. But I don't like Albuquerque.

That's odd. I liked Albuquerque, but it's also the only way that I can really get 150 Hispanics to watch me perform. That's exactly. To do the show in Albuquerque. Because they, and they don't identify us. to identify as ethnically Mexican, I found out. They're Mexican. They're like, we're Mexican, but they'll tell you,

they'll be like goth Mexicans, some of whom don't speak Spanish. Like, they've been there forever. Yeah. That's, and they're American. Goth Mexican. Goth Mexican. Metal Mexican is really exciting. It's, my favorite.

Like Mexican that loves Pantera, that's my favorite. That's by far my favorite. First time I've been offended by whitewashing is going to Albuquerque and thinking about Breaking Bad and going, they didn't cast anyone from here. No. That's just because he's obsessed with that city. Albuquerque? He did it with Pyrubis too.

He put it in fucking Albuquerque again. Gilligan? The hills are crazy. The watermelon hills? I don't know what they call. Watermelon hills? I think the translation is watermelon hills because they're the color of like pink watermelon at night.

Pretty beautiful. And the little, man, the mountains are, look, they look like tiny rocks everywhere. As you come in to the California's where you go, I look at these hill, these fucking hills with these boulders, tiny boulders. You go, how is this holding? How doesn't this all just fall down over time? Why are we driving next to it? You know what I'm talking about?

It's all Hollywood set. You know that. That's all real. No, I get very impassioned about, we got to go to San Diego for the first time, which was I had heard about La Jolla. Only because Tim Dillon won't stop going, I was in La Jolla.

He loves La Jolla. Whatever. Yeah, I loved it. I loved it. Yeah, it's beautiful. And the culture, it's different. It's really something. Yeah, it's unique.

Everyone is very, the laissez-faire of San Diego is so embraced. It's unbelievable. It's like it you're wrong if you're trying to quicken the pace down there. They operate like a 90s surf movie and they're never going to change. And they don't need to. Like point break is San Diego. Point break was here. Point break is really San Diego. It's not Malibu. Malibu is, you know, Mel Gibson yelling Jew tits and fancy restaurants. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. We go there every Sunday and we go pray. We go pray at where he did it. now. What did he do?

Is he back? He's directing again, isn't he? He's never stopped directing. Yeah, nothing to stop them. I think he did Passion of the Christ, like... He's doing two. He's doing the follow-up. That's what I'm saying, right after the thing, wasn't it? Oh, after Jut-Tis. Right after Jut-Tz? J-Tis is not the worst one that he said.

No disrespect. No, like, I'm not trying to minimize Jut-Tids, but I hope you get awed by a pack of ends. That was pretty tough. That's, to me, that one was tough. The harder one, when I'm defending him in public, that's the one that takes longer to get across the line. I don't even know how you get it over there.

So passion was, 04, Jutitz was 06. Wow. Right after. Well, he was riding that high, I guess. Yeah, because people also found that movie controversial because he blamed more of the killing on the Jews. But then he said the quiet part loud. He changed it.

Change a bit of the tail. He didn't change it. Full respect. I mean, it's in the... Before read the book. Have you read the book? the book. You know how it ends. Happy ending.

Pretty much. Well, the very ending is a very happy. But boy, some of that revelation stuff is pretty full on. But, um, yeah, we don't blame the, we don't blame jury for the, for the death of our Lord. We don't do it. Are you big Jesus guy? Yeah, I love, I'm going to go to the Latin Mass in the valley tomorrow morning. Let's go.

Yeah. It's great. It's great. They speak full Latin the whole time. The homily is in English. But the rest of it. in Latin. It's much better this way. You sound like my childhood going to Catholic Church.

I love it. Every, man, I've seen some, I got real angry because I went to the Jesuits last week. Whoa. Rock band, Hollywood. This is the problem with New Age Church. Some of these. Yeah, a lot of dancing. I see the evangelicals around that. Last night, I was walking around Hollywood and I saw, it was like an office

block that they'd turn into an evangelical church. People doing that. That's what it is now. Like old studio spaces are now becoming dance hall churches. And they got to have cool pastors with nice cocks and a lot of jewelry. Listen, it's crazy. People, I think about this a lot. Why is there an uptick?

Because I think there is an uptick. It's because youth is lost and they're trying to re- So lost. Everything helps and flows also. But they're also trying to, they're trying to rebel against your parents. Yeah, and they're trying to interest young people and go, hey, hey, hey, this is not your dad's church, dude. We sing.

You can take a smoke break mid-mid-mass. We hang out. That's their pitch. And by the way, it's working. It works massively. It works sometimes. The most heinous one is the baby boomer trying to be hip. That one's very sad.

Very sad, because there's no one there. The Latin one, which is just an organ. I mean, that's a lot of young people crowded in there. 100%. You're gonna go tomorrow? I go every week, yeah. Your Twitch live streaming from these, from the Latin church? I think that actually is allowed, but I won't.

I try not to grift on it. There are guys who, there are guys who make that their identity. And I'll go around, and some people. I'll see like the fucking bulletin. Yeah. And I'll go to Mass and some weird town. They're like, this guy's coming to... Some other comedians like,

what the fuck are you doing? Why are you getting in the bulletin? Well, he's trying to tap in. Well, he's trying to sell tickets. Someone's got to... So you gotta up your rep, dude. What's the guy's name that's famous? KSI.

Speed? All those guys are up to... Now they're going to fucking... Latin Mass. That would be so fine. Like the most famous Twitch streamers in the world. Kaisana. I like that.

I like that. The guy who went to Africa and was like... That was Speed. It was Speed? Speed, I show speed. I love. People going everywhere. I want to.

You could be him. You could be the new I show speed. I don't really believe in streaming. I show pace. You'll be I show pace. I slow down. I show pace. I lie down.

I have net. I have stress streams that we live stream and then you guys say things we're not supposed to say and we're live. Well, we do that often. Yeah. I mean, you're the one recording all that stuff. I know, but we're never live. Yeah, so I hated that last night. People were on their phones.

I thought, God, they're probably just capturing some of the bullshit. There was a lot of people on their phone was. YouTube theater down by SoFi Stadium. Yeah, so far. Very far. It was cool. When Bobby ran into the crowd, I've never seen that many phones come out at our shows. I know, I know.

That's why. Wait, is this in Inglewood? Yeah. Wow. It's like in Sofi Stadium. It's like a part of it. It's like a part of it. It's like connected the stadium.

Right. It was cool. It was cool. It was very cool, but it was also very odd. Are they just knocking down big parts of Englewood to build all this stuff for the Olympics? A lot of them took place where something else already was, right? Like Kia Forum took over the old forum.

like Kiev for reinvigorated. Into it was like a lot. So they made that down there. They're bringing in a lot of money into the neighborhood. It was a point of contention, I'm sure. Yeah. But I think it's benefiting more than it's hurting. The first place I ever went in America.

Englewood? Yeah. God bless. It was near the library. Really? Well, I got off the place. It's the library closest to LAX and I had like a 10-hour layout. The first place I went to Venice Beach at 10 a.m.

It was terrifying. I just went, I'll just hang out the library that's close to the airport. I just walked around Englewood with a big trundle bag. I had like all my fucking baggage It's as scared as I've ever been Venice antennae yeah Those two things back to back Those guys are all the drug addictics are reanimating around then

They're like just they're just starting their gig They haven't really like gotten up yet But now they're about to Just a guy screaming into the ocean Calling calling himself An N word An N word It's the first time I'd heard

You do hear that a lot If people just yell Wild shit down there It used to be a So if I see him used to be a thoroughbred race court That's right. It's the race track. That's right. And it's also Englewood, I thought, would be all black. And it was half black.

Mexican. There's a, yeah, but then it's like, this is how it works in America. There'll be, you know, you go like, oh, it's like half black, half Mexican. And I think, oh, it'll all be like, no, no, no. There's the black bit. You cross a road, and then it's all Mexican. Yeah. And then Crown Heights was the same.

It's like, they go, it's half black, it's half Jewish. No, it's a Jewish bit. And then. Yeah. We love division. We love division. I mean, kind of, but it's self, at some point you go, like in Englewood, that's self-selected. Like, those Mexicans have come in the last 20 years.

I've done a lot of reading about the race placement in America. Like, it's not all, there's self-segregating that seems to happen a lot. Everybody does that. Everybody does. But I think that's a, the fucking Australians do. People do that globally, yeah. That's a very, like, common thing. To be among someone that looks like you, you're like, I'm going where these people are because I know them.

I think it's a result of not having a lot of government. involvement because you need each other to look after each other. Right, community. Yeah, you need a community. Like in Australia, it is, it happens a bit, but it's like much more blendy. It's not like everyone's buying up that block. Right. Don't set foot in so-and-so. Well, someone's buying up those blocks. Hmm? Black Rock. Black Rock, dude. A little Mel Gibson, my own Black Rock. All right. All right, we got to get you to Venice, dude. I want you to go to the beach. I want you to go to the beach. I want you to have a Malibu Day. I want you to plug some.

dates. This has been fascinating, by the way. I got so many dates. What's your website? You don't have one. J.D.F.McCann. I'm coming to your town. Is it on punch-up? Did you do the punch-up thing? I don't even know. Someone's doing it.

Okay, J-DFMcCann.com. James Donald Fawkes-Macon. Please go see the boy. He's very talented. Very funny, man. I do like you very much. And I do think, I do think those who come see you live will be Thoroughly satisfied. Come on now. They will do.

You got a powerful energy. You got a big boss energy. Do I? Yeah. Yeah, I like it. You are, you're on top the whole time. Sometimes you go on people's podcasts and they turn into a little boy. You're a strong, you're a real, you're a man.

I like to sit in the pocket. You've got a spine. You know what I like to do? Yeah. I like to meld with my guests. Interesting. I like to feel what you're doing and I catch your energy and I try to roll with it. Some people, they just fold you up and they slam you on your back.

And some people, they go, I'm a little boy. Be in charge of me. Sit on me. But you're a real, you come as a peer. Thank you. I hope it's a compliment. It is. And if it's not.

It's a height of compliment. It's a high compliment. Thank you, brother. I appreciate you. I do think you're very, very, very, very, very funny when I met you on tour, stoked. See, I was afraid of you at first. Why? Well, because you seemed great and very personable.

And I knew you were from L.A. Oh, from Chicago. But you mean live in L.A., but now you're in L.A. Yeah. And I'd met enough L.A. people to go like, all right, he might be better. me up, he might be... And then it's like... And then it's like, and I mean, you're gonna say, no, he's not.

And it's the next time. And it's like, oh my God, he's a nice man in the business. And it just like, it was about like three... It was when we hung out in, uh, someone was taking other people to a strip club. And I peeled off and came and got to hang out with you. And your opener, whose name is escaping me, Nashville. I want to say, Zach Townsend. Zach.

Oh, dude, this was in, it was... And it was wonderful. In Minnesota. In Minneapolis. You just filmed the special. Yeah, Minneapolis. And I realized that you were a, you were a... That bar was awesome.

Like a real fucking guy. Yeah. It was so nice. So nice. And, um, anyway, I just wanted to, I just wanted to say it's all, it's all real. It's a real good guy. I love you. Go to JdF.McCand.com.

Go see him live. Uh, genuinely. So funny. And, uh, I'm happy to continue to see your ascension. I'm not saying that, you know, with any semblance of being facetious. I do think we're about to see something good out of you. I mean, I think you're going to blow up. I got nothing.

I think you already know. I got fucking nothing. He already knows. That's, that's that comic bullshit. No, you're fantastic, dude. It's a matter of time until you fucking explode and you don't call anybody anymore. And you become that guy who privates jets back in Farfmastrow. We know this guy.

This is happening. It's coming soon. You went until I get my Jimmy Car surgery. Crazy. Start breaking your jaw. We end the episode the same way. Look into that camera. Say one word or one phrase.

This one right here. One word or one phrase. You could be a phrase. It could be a word of wisdom. You could apart. It could be something that you just have inside of your bones. But whenever you're ready, go ahead. Hello.

In here we pour whiskey, whisk, whisk, whisk, whisk. You were that creature in the ginger beard. Sturdy and ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Ginger's a fugitive. You only $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse. Ginger's, oh hell no. This whiskey is excellent.

Ginger, I like gingers.