Whiskey Ginger with Andrew Santino - Jamie Kennedy

Episode Date: August 9, 2019

Santino sits down Jamie Kennedy to talk about getting clean from booze (don't worry, we still drankin') the everlasting GUN debate here in the states and about what the fuck is going on in the world. KUSHY CBD https://kushycbd.com (use promo code WHISKEYCBD for %20 off) FOR ALL THINGS CHEETO http://www.andrewsantino.com FOLLOW ME ON INSTA https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ FOLLOW WHISKEY GINGER PODCAST ON INSTA https://instagram.com/whiskeygingerpodcast?igshid=mztm4g3wy0gq FOLLOW JAMIE ON INSTA https://www.instagram.com/thejamiekennedy/?hl=en Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Get yourself 20% off. It is good. It is worth it. Use it. Enjoy it. Enjoy the episode. In here, we pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey. You're that creature in the ginger beer.

Sturdy and ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are pugilist. You owe me five dollars for the whiskey seventy-five dollars for the whore gingers oh hell no this whiskey is excellent ginger i like gingers they have no idea they have no idea ladies and gentlemen welcome back to whiskey ginger my guest today is one of my favorite people on earth i say that for all my guests but I mean it once again today. It's Mr. Jamie Kennedy. What's up, dog? How are you?

Bam. What's up, bro? You feeling good? I feel good now. You got your coffee bean. I've got my Joseph Magnus air cheers. We can't really cheers

because, you know, that's against Irish law. Do you know that? No. Like, off the record, Irish law, they say that you can't

cheers non-liquor with with liquor you can't do a non-alcoholic it's kind of bad luck when you cheers just to look someone in the eyeballs

and cheers them yeah and then it's promoting good health and good luck okay but when you do that when you cheers non-alcoholic beverages

it's almost like what are you hiding dude are you trying to fucking poison me bro hey you trying to poison me but you're Italian I i'm italian and irish but you don't you're irish to me you look like my relatives racist piece of shit i'm a what is the wordist i can be both i'm gingerist you're a gingerist yeah what are you wait but but what are you are you 100 something

oh no so what do you yeah i just 100% something? Oh, no. So what are you? Yeah. German, Irish, English. White. Dominant. White dominant. White. We got another white dominant guest in here. White piece of shit. White privilege piece of shit.

Were you privileged as a kid? Did you grow up with money or no? Our freestanding house in the suburbs of Philadelphia. Yeah, but what are we talking? Middle class? Upper middle class? I would say middle class. Like right down the middle? Yes. A lot of kids but our own house. I never

had a want for anything, but I wasn't like bawling. Did you guys go on big family vacations and shit? Ish. Ish? Down the shore. Yeah, that's a big deal, right? Yeah, Jersey Shore. But you didn't go to like your family didn't go to like Hawaii and shit? No. London one year. That was pretty good. How many kids?

Six. Yeah, that's a lot. I couldn't, think about doing that shit today. I was thinking about when I was in Aspen skiing, I was like, for just me,

this is a rip off. If I had fucking two little shithead kids and I had to take them skiing on a ski trip, dude, I mean the average, I think they did the average to go to like a place like breck or aspen or something in colorado to a ski resort to rent a hotel yeah to rent depends on if you have rentals for the kids or not or your own equipment plus food and booze and drinks and all the other bullshit they want to do you're talking about five to ten grand easy for a little baby bullshit vacation in the united states i just went to a good mountain not aspen where and i think part of it was because of you because i ski and i haven't

skied in a couple years and i think i saw your post and you were kind of like ripping it up and i got a little jelly so i don't know i think it was like two years ago i saw that so and somebody else i saw the not breckenridge a good mountain but not aspen yeah and i bought a pass and the pass was way better than the whole per day thing yeah they have a epics path epics owns all the mountains epics epics they're all under one kind of uh under one they're all i mean they're all owned by the same fucking people at this point but i went four days this year you did and i fucking loved it here's the thing i was just thinking about the kid thing on the way over here it's like my fucking life is so crazy and i'm 49 years old now could i stop and just do one or two things probably will my brain let me no fucking way yeah we're in the multitask world now where everybody has to do 10 things

if i had a little rat no offense to little rats, I'm like, dude, pick it up. Let's go, kid. You'd fight. Yeah. I mean, so it's like I can't right now. Keep the bag on. Well, OK. Here's the deal.

Well, yeah. I mean, look, I. But I know these things are supposed to be gratifying when I want to have a kid because I want to be able to take out my anger and aggression on something. Yes. You know what I mean? Like you can't. I can't.

I don't want to break stuff because it gets expensive, but you can hurt a human. You can manipulate them. You could take out all your anger on them. You know, I mean? Like you can't, I can't, I don't want to break stuff because it gets expensive, but you can hurt a human. You can manipulate them. You could take out all your anger on them. You know, I can physically fucking. 2019, you have to let people know

that's in the safe space. It's not to me. I'm going to hit the shit out of my kid. I don't care who finds out, dude. I don't fucking care. I want to talk to you

about a few things. Jamie, for those that don't know, an extremely talented comedian, actor, artist, performer, chameleon of sorts um who does uh a million things

and uh you know i'm and now you're getting more more i've seen you more in the la stand-up game than i've ever seen you now you're embedded back into the culture because you kind of were on the road or doing your own thing but now you're in town my dude yeah you like it right yeah i it's i think it's you tell me like i think it's the best it's ever been it's the You're in town, my dude. Yeah. You like it, right? Yeah. I think it's, you tell me, like, I think it's the best it's ever been. It's the best it's ever been. Because I started my first set was in 1990. Okay, so that's 29 years ago. How old was I in 1990?

You were in a ball bag. Were you born? No, I was born in 1990. You were like six. Seven years old in 1990. Were you born? No, I was born in 1990. You were like six. I was seven years old in 1990.

My first sign up was probably 1990 at the comedy store on the Monday night. And it was, I think I went up at like 3 a.m. I tell everybody this. And it was still jammed. Yeah. And it was, I think it went till like 4 a.m. I don't think they would stop at 2. And so you get busy.

The scene has changed where it used to be stand-up, TV, movies, peace. Peace. And now it's stand-up, TV, movies, podcasts, blogging, touring, never stop. Kill yourself. Yes. Yeah. At some point, you're like, do this, do that, do this, do that, do that. I'm tired.

I'm going to kill myself now. Because, so I really started hitting town again three years ago. But I feel like town, tell me because you've been in it. I was past at all the clubs and was doing that. But the clubs were different doing that but the clubs were different they weren't as full and I feel like they started getting full

like four years ago and I feel like everybody started podcasts took off Netflix took off so everyone's like yo I see you do my thing

do my thing do my thing do my thing right so is that right yeah it feels like it's the resurgence is what's going

the resurgence of like what's happening in the comedy boom is because of Netflix because of YouTube because of podcast everything kind of happened in the exact same time you know when they say it's like perfect harmony for somebody that yes yeah it's it's almost like the biz the comedy boom is having its fame harmony where it's like everything happened at the exact same time so i'm in town like you said hardcore but i feel like other people that

you didn't see are too i mean you see everybody there's a lot of people that are getting back up now yeah well I think it's all we didn't stop no no one stopped it's just you're coming back more often yeah and Bobby Lee was like yo dude you want to be in the mix you got to do 15 minutes who's Bobby Lee exactly but you know what I mean and he's right everybody's right yeah you got to keep moving you have to keep moving keep moving also because like other opportunities come from that and also you can kind of pick and choose now a little bit more i love stand-up so much it takes over you know like um dude i gotta you know i should not talk shit but i'm gonna i fucking no i just got i got an offer to do um another guest star role on nbc's this is us okay i'm gonna be delicate with my words because I'm not trying to be mean.

Was this the big audition? No. No, no, no. This was an offer. Straight offer? Well, yeah, but I did two episodes. I did two episodes of This Is Us. I did their pilot. Of the creepy ginger? I did. I played the director of the TV show in that show that

one of the main actors is on. I fired him and shit. You're kind of perfect for that. Yeah, it was wonderful. Because you look like a director. You're intense. They put a cap on me and put glasses on me and I was just an asshole to him. It was fun as shit. Dude.

It was so much fucking fun. But here was the deal. Here was my problem. They were like, does he want to come back in episode 404 or something like that? It's a big show. And the fourth season, it's a huge show. Dan Fogelman, like all those people attached, like it's a huge show i like dan fogelman like all those people attached like it's it's wonderful actually in fact i fucking ran into one of the

cast members when i was um in st louis as crazy as that is sterling k brown who's so fucking dope such a dope actor i'm going to breakfast this is literally last week i'm going to breakfast at this random spot in kansas mean in St. Louis oh Missouri people are like fucking big big difference I mean two and a half hours it's the same shit but um but I'm going to breakfast in the St. Louis place and no shit I look down I go god it looks like Sterling but then I go to sit down I'm like that's not him there's no way and then I also thought in my head if I just go up to a black guy and go Sterling and, and he's not, then it's like, once again, perpetuating.

He's the biggest racist piece of shit. Yeah. I'm like, sorry, you look like this other black guy that I know. And I show him a picture and he'd be like, that looks nothing like me. And it's like, I'm racist. But no, but anyway, but I sat for a second. I thought, why the fuck would he be in St. Louis? And then I didn't know if he was.

So I get up on Wikipedia. I'm like, is he from here? He was. So I went up and said, what's up to him? And it was dope. Yeah, it was incredible. He's like, what the fuck are you doing here? What are you doing here? I'm like, I'm doing standup. He's like, I'm back home with family. Anyway, respect, from here? He was. So I went up and said, what's up to him? And it was dope. Yeah, it was incredible. He's like, what the fuck are you doing here? What are you doing here?

I'm like, I'm doing standup. He's like, I'm back home with family. Anyway, respect, respect to that whole crew. I like all the people on there, Milo and Mandy. They're all great. But they sent me an audition from up top. I mean, they sent me an offer and they were like, unfortunately, it's just not going to be the same pay grade as it was before.

It's like they're cutting budgets and stuff in network TV, which says a lot to me. That's like ooh really because that fucking show won like seven fucking Emmys if you're gonna slash the Emmy budget show like woof dog like

I think it's a top five show right what two years ago it was the number one show in the world yeah I think it's top yeah I think it's might be the top show

so it's crazy it's like no disrespect to them but I'm like that's a big sign of what's going on in the business is like TV is struggling, struggling,

dude. Cause if you, if you can't, if you can't like, thank God I'm more than just an actor thing. Like I'm a comedian who also acts. That's how I look at it. You know,

you are a comedian who also acts in my opinion. So like, thank God that we don't just do one of those things. Cause for real, I don't know how you would survive things because for real i don't know how you would survive on just doing these day jumpy things props to actors they're able to get through that shit i don't know how they fucking do it i don't get it it's never a career that i would want on its own i would never want to just be an actor i i fucking i thank god that i love

stand-up as my first love it's yes it's just not too it's just i think i started stand-up because i was starting i kind of started both at the same time because you wanted to be an actor or you just loved comedy and you when it got to the point like acting to me is my side bitch that's my side piece really yeah i'm married to comedy for the rest of my fucking life i'll just stand up to the day i die yes but but acting is like my little side bitch it's like my little sexy side piece that's like it's so much fun. But also I get sick of it. You know what I mean?

I'm like, I want to go back to my fucking, to my old faithful, you know? Like comedy will never really let me down. No. Even if it does piss me off, it'll never let me down. Dude, I was telling, I answered that question. Acting is my side bitch. Comedy is the only thing that has always been there for me. Yeah.

And that sounds really annoying. But what I mean is. That's true. The clubs have always welcomed me. On the road and in town. They have always given me time. And I'm like, why don't I. This is what I have to always accept that. Yeah.

Because TV hasn't always been there. It's great, but you know- Comes and goes, baby. It likes when you're hot. It doesn't. Movies is the same way. And comedy, no matter how low I have been in my career or how high, comedy has always been like, you want to come to the Improv and do 15.

Because it's the most pure, honest form of like, we want to see you at your lows and your highs tv and film they don't want to fuck with you when you're not hot as a pistol when you're hot the phone starts ringing and they want you for the dude they love you because they saw you on and this is comedy is like no no come on we'll see you fail we'll see you tumble over your own feet and we'll see you get up next week and murder and the next week we'll see you write new jokes and not do so well and like they want to see like comedy loves to see the process. I don't think anything loves it as much as the world of comedy.

Now it's like the beast itself. I don't know what it is that does that, but it's incredible that it likes the failure. Do you know what I mean? It embraces the struggle. Whereas an actor, you look at so many fucking actors that were struggling dude they disappear they go away they fuck they they they just can't the business doesn't hold on to those people like comedy does comedy like accepts you even when you're eating dog shit why is that because why is because it's an extremely delicate it's an extremely um it is a very risky art form.

You have to constantly be, imagine if a fucking painter, there's a friend, there's a friend of mine who's a fucking phenomenal artist. Yeah. And he painted this, it got famous in LA. He painted this spaceman. I'll show you pictures of it afterwards. He's an incredible man. And he got, these were so visually stimulating and dope that everybody

wanted one so now he started painting tons and tons he didn't want to do it as much but he was selling it and it's paying your rent and you're you know making a good living so he kept doing it kept doing it kept doing it kept doing it and now he's you know shied away from it because he's like i don't want to paint that fucking thing anymore but so many people commissioned this spaceman and he got tired of it because he's like i don't want to do the same thing we don't have a choice you can't do the same thing like the beauty of stand-up is like you're forced to paint a new painting fucking often otherwise ain't nobody buying your shit anymore yeah you know you can't do the same shit over and over and over because it gets old it feels stale to you yes we don't have a choice but to continue to reinvent. So I think that the art likes the fact that it's a vulnerable thing.

You have to fucking reinvent, recreate, re-up. Otherwise, you're out. And to that, I say why I am doing it is because I have to do it. Yeah. I will say, sitting in my trailer, making a fuckload of money, I still thought about doing stuff on stage. Yeah, every time I was on a TV set, I was thinking about what set I was going to do that night on stage. So that just shows you that when people say they want to do comedy, I tell them, you're not going to do it. It's going to do you.

Yeah, you don't have a choice. Because you'll just fucking... Comedy's going to rape you. Yes. Yeah. And you're like, yo, maybe I can get a fucking half hour on Comedy Central. Even when you're doing tons of other stuff. Because you just want to express that part.

Of course. And comedy, it is, dude. It is beautiful. I think it's bigger than it's ever been. And the community, for me, I've never known more people than I do now. Yeah, it's dope. Right? You're connecting.

Yeah, you're connecting. And we're all connecting. And from different levels, from the top to the bottom. I'll do a show here. I'll do a show there. And it's, I think it's dope. Right? You agree with that? Yeah, you're connecting. We're all connecting. And from different levels, from the top to the bottom. I'll do a show here. I'll do a show there. And I think it's great. Because you're all peers at some point. Ego gets sidelined.

Ego gets sidelined when someone like Sebastian Maniscalco, who sells out Madison fucking Square Garden, comes up and he's the same cat that he is at the store now that he was 10 years ago before he was selling out the garden. Same guy. So ego goes out the window in our community a little bit. I mean, it's there, but it disappears a little bit because I just feel like we all came through the ranks. Do you know what I mean?

Like nobody had, nobody really, it's really hard to skip the line in comedy. It's really easy to do it in acting. People do it all the fucking time. Yes. Some little bullshit ass kid gets a job at 12 and fucking he becomes a billionaire and they don't fucking know if he's actually talented but they put this little shit head on for some reason and that's it that's his career he gets to jump the line of struggles but it's like you know fucking comedy that don't it doesn't happen you have to be able to deliver yeah even people that are on a fast track like even someone like dave chappelle who was a

prodigy who started at like 17 or 16 or whatever still it took him years to get publicly known enough to a level where it was popping off granted he was in his 20s but that's because he had a decade under his belt by the time he was 26 years old you know it's like so you know yeah there is no fucking fast track there there's uh it doesn't exist in stand-up. And if it does, it's one in a billion. None of the biggest people you know in stand-up, male, female, whomever, there was no fast track. No. I mean, you look at fucking the females. You look at Ellen's ass.

Dude, Ellen was a stand-up before people even thought she was a stand-up. That's how long of a track she was on. Yeah. And now she's dancing and shit on sitcoms, is around her little on her show that's cool but you know it's like she was she'll always be a stand-up to me because when i remember her she was a stand-up that's who i know she that's who i knew she was evening at the improv dude yeah man mid 80s yeah she was she was a i remember her and paula poundstone remember that elevator button uh bitch yeah i used to fucking thought that i thought that was one of the funniest because it sounded like a joke my mom would make like my mom

has a great sense of humor and i heard it and I was like, God damn, that's that's that's some smart ass shit that my mom would say. That's where I think I get some of my darkness from my dark sense. My mother, I was on the phone with my mom today. This crazy fucker. She this is insane. We're talking about we're talking about my grandmother. My grandmother's getting a little bit older and was a little bit. She's getting older, man.

She's getting she's not she's she's going through it you know what i mean she's all she's up there 80 80 plus you know what i mean above the above the 80s so anyway um and i was talking i was like i was like oh what is gonna happen when you get like that age am i gonna put you in a home you know she joke we joke around all the time and she goes now i'm gonna find myself a cavorcian doctor that can just take me out you know what I mean and I was like damn you're wicked bro that's no I was like

I'm not gonna let you assisted suicide and she's like what get out I gotta get out of here at some point I was like

you're dark dude she is dark dude she's dark as night sometimes my mom always had a twisted twisted sense of humor yeah I could tell she always had some

she's got some deviant in her like when we would go to the grocery store you know when you can lift up the bins and there's little chocolates in the, you know what I mean? Like you can do candy by the pound at a grocery store. She would just put her whole hand in there and just eat shit while we'd walk to the grocery store.

Damn. She's a thug. She didn't give a fuck. She is a little klepto too. See, it's not even thievery at some point. It's a taste test. It's just, I'm just trying it out. Yeah.

Yeah. Get there. I don't think we ever bought bags of candy, but she would just put her hand in the Raisinets and just eat that shit, walk through the aisles. You gotta try it. Well, she's thuggish. Ask me this. Tell me this.

I wanted to ask you, because I heard a comic internationally died on stage like a couple weeks ago. I was just reading about it. Whoa. Yeah, a guy died on stage. Oh, I remember hearing this. Yeah. What do you want to ask me?

If you died on stage, would you be okay going out like that? Because there's guys that are like, please don't let me die on stage. And there's guys that are like, this is the perfect spot for me to die. If you died on stage, would you be comfortable with it? I mean, I don't think I'm comfortable dying. Well, you're going to. Yeah, I know. Newsflash, motherfucker.

You're going to die. I know. I think that. Not anytime soon. I hope not. Well, let me check your prostate. Bend over real fast. Thank you.

You know, I use my tongue when I check prostates. Thank you. People do fingers, but I use my tongue. Well, no, it's lubricated. Yeah. So it's easier. I want to get right in there. You know what I'm saying?

Fish around for a minute. So wait. I don't know, dude, if I want to die on stage. I'd probably like to die like that dude from Hill Street Blues. Remember that guy who's the old sergeant? Yeah. He died under a 25-year-old. That's kind of tight.

That's the kind of way to go. That's kind of tight. It was the ball. No, it was the guy from Night Court. Night Court. Bull. Bull. He died having sex.

Do you want to die? Would you? But I mean, dying on stage would be great. You want to be on the bottom, by the way, if you die fucking. If you die fucking, you want to be on the bottom. You don't want to be on top smothering some girl. Yeah, you're just kind of already there. Do you want to die right before you die fucking you want to be in the bottom you don't want to be on top smothering some girl yeah you just kind of already there do you want to die

right before you come or right after you come I think you have to get one last in I think it would be funny if you died right before you came that would be terrible that would be a good joke

by God if God was like pulled it from you right before you nutted right you even say it you go I'm going to come

I'm dying and it doesn't even come out but you're still going to nut you'll nut you'll dead nut yeah because yeah stuff comes out dead out but you're still gonna nut you'll nut because you'll dead nut yeah cause yeah stuff comes out

dead nut dog you be dead nutting dead nizzle I had with a scare in the neighborhood last night a kid had a seizure literally next door the ambulance

the amber lamps was out front and I was like tripping because you know middle of the night amber lamps comes and you're like oh my god what happened

but he was sitting up in the thing he was alive and we come to find out that he just had a seizure and he's all good but I thought this is very mean of me

but like you know when they keep the lights on in the neighborhood they like keep them lights flashing for like three hours while they're in it's like

yeah if he's not dead like turn that shit off you know what I mean like I'm trying to go to sleep bro yeah I get it I don't understand that

when like cops do that same shit they keep the lights on after they pulled you over it's like it's almost like instigating your hate Just sleep, bro. Yeah, I get it. I don't understand that. When cops do that same shit, they keep the lights on after they pulled you over. It's almost like instigating your hate. It's like, I gotcha, I gotcha, I gotcha, I gotcha. It's so fucking annoying to me. Yeah.

Turn it off. You got me. He's alive. He's breathing. Turn them shits off. All right. But they're letting you know it's still an active scene. I think they want attention.

I think paramedics love the attention. Like, we're here. Look, we're here. We're here. Their lights are gay. Yeah, their lights are like a flamboyant gay guy we're saving lives we're saving lives we're saving that should be the siren saving lives saving lives i like it i think you got a new bit no it's so fucking so stupid it's so dumb i just think like it annoyed me because i was like how disrespectful if somebody was really hurt or something bad was really happening it'd be like oh my god whatever you need to do he was fine they were talking to him he was chilling it's like turn off the fucking lights man dude i hate it when they go hit my window and they don't really commit oh yeah and

they're just zooming by yeah and it's like what are you doing in philly do the cops um run red lights yeah fuck yeah but like in chicago they do this thing where they turn on their lights to go through the intersection and they turn them right back off when they get all the way through. Chicago cops, man, they're so fucking shit. They love breaking the motherfucking rules. Like you'll see a cop sitting at a red light with you and the light will be taken forever and they'll just go with their lights and they'll go right through and they turn it right back off when they get through.

You're like, oh, was there a fucking... Also, who are they doing that for? You're the cop. Just go through the fucking intersection. Who's going to say shit? Yeah. What are you doing it for? Another cop?

Cops don't pull over other cops. And if they do, they're like, hey, what up, Steve? And they let him fucking go. Yeah. They're like a wonderful conspiracy theory, man. Cops are wonderful to each other. They've got each other's back. You know when you read about a cop busting another cop doing something real bad?

Yeah. Do you know how many times he had to do that to get caught yeah you know what i mean if a cop catches a cop doing something bad for the first probably dozen times you're like mark come on stop drinking on the fucking job you got a hooker in the front yeah mark keep the bet don't take all the coke from the back from the bumping and throw it away yeah i can't catch you doing this so you're saying to get a cop in. If you get caught as a cop from another cop, you had to have been fucking up. You have to have been fucking up. And I'm talking about minor bullshit. I'm not saying if a cop kills a human, it's like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

If a cop does something huge. But like, you know, cops are doing shady shit just like everybody else is. People are shady, dude. Yeah. Cops are not exempt. Cops are people too. So to get caught by another cop, I learned that in a DUi class they said um you got a dui no i had your two urinating in public tickets when i was in college my second urinating public ticket i had to take there's a class for

duis it's like that when you have your when you i dui class for urinating well i'll tell you so so so i took a dui class for um the threeI. So on their third strike, they have to take a mandatory state-adjourned class. This was in Illinois because you get your license revoked for life. On your third strike, you're out, dog. Three strikes. I think we have that in California too. You get three DUIs here. Yike, you're gone.

You can't have a license anymore. Wow. And this was a class in, I think that's right. I think it's in California. But in Illinois, this was a class in in I think that's right. I think it's a California but in Illinois This was the this was this was their third offense and the judge sentenced me to community service and to that class for Because there was because because she said it was for Obnoxious behavior because I was fighting with a police officer drunk about he busted me peeing behind my buddy's bar

I was pissing by my second time the first time I was drunk at a football game And I was and I was peeing out the bed of a pickup truck okay that one i kind of understand that's two my cock was out and i was in the bed of a pickup truck i was peeing off the side yeah and the second one i was peeing behind my buddy's bar because i had to pee and we were smoking weed outside or something like that so i took this class so you were peeing and doing drugs yeah yeah they kind of go hand in hand yeah you got You got a couple now. Yeah. Well, you know, couple, couple, but no, but I was on my feet. I wasn't behind the wheel of a fucking car. Got it. Good. You know what I mean? Good. Like, you know what I mean? I'm not a fucking, I'm not trying to endanger other people. I'm just pissing and drinking and getting high. Nothing wrong with

that. So go ahead. So then I'm in this DUI class and, uh, I'm in this DUI class and it's everybody in there. It's like 56 plus, you know, they're that they've lived a long life you can tell like and she goes 80 of people that um get caught for multiple duis uh they have had over a hundred plus times drinking and driving like it blacked out under the influence what yeah she says like because these people these people statistically that end up getting caught that drunk means they drive that drunk that often. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. That they drive that drunk that often, they finally got caught. Because let's look at it like this.

I believe that. You can drive after you've had a couple easily. And people do that all the time. Bars have parking lots. People drive home drunk on a constant basis. I'm not saying it's okay. No. But to get caught for multiple times means you do it every single day.

Yeah. Your whole life is like, but you know, when you go to a hotel in a new city and you go down to the bar and there's like the regulars that are there and. Yeah. You know, that woman, you know, Carrie is just like, well, you know, Marcus, he's always here. And that's kook. He's always here.

You're drinking a bottle of wine, you know. It's just like those guys, they drive every fucking day home drunk and i that blows my mind so i made it did do the right thing the judge made me feel bad about my behavior because i was like damn i don't want to be one of these dudes i don't want to be 58 with three duis like sad as shit dude there's no reason you got an uber no i just walk i just Or I do it at my house and I just chill. Yeah. Just chill at the house. I don't know.

I don't like drinking that much when I go out as much as I used to. Dude, I haven't drank in nine months. I know. Do you feel good? I feel amazing. This is a new trend, man. Another one of my buddies just put away the bottle. Another one.

Not because of like alcoholism, but they were like, I don't feel like it. I'm going to tell you what it is, dude. I'm telling you, A, I think drinking makes you look older. Sure, it does. I think drinking makes you bitter. As I sip it, yeah. Okay, I think drinking, you wake up and you feel like shit. When you drink, drink.

Not when you have a drink. You're talking when you get liquored the fuck up. Dude, I just just think and i lost a fuckload of weight well you weren't fat no i wasn't but i had that like you know the spare tire yeah and i would drink wine with dinner or like with a like italian meal i drink sake with sushi and it's awesome sounds great but i'm you, this shit sneaks up on you because then I would like go to bed and I'd have like,

I'll have a glass of wine to fall asleep. Right? I wasn't crazy. I've never gone to an AA meeting except for like women I've dated to help give them a chip. And in LA, you give a lot of chips.

So you know this dog. You give a lot of chips. So I just stopped and i feel fucking great and to the point where for the first month i was definitely like i wish i got a drink now wish i got a drink now after two months when i was at dinner i was like still that after two months i didn't even need it at dinner to like with a meal. Italian meal, Japanese meal. Now, I don't even, it's weird, bro. I don't even want to do it

because I don't want to break a streak. It's weird. Now it's a competition with yourself. It's not, yeah, it's just like, no. Now you're trying to beat your own, you know. I feel good. If you want to go down the fucking deepness of it, dude, I think alcohol is here to make us fucking

do not pay attention i'm telling you on the deep level you think it's here to get people deluded with sadness of life so they don't have to focus on what's really going on yes all right dude well yes i really love it i know you do i know you do but what i'm saying is i get what you're saying i don't think it's that deep if you were to try cbd not that i do that that much, but once in a while. I love CBD. What do you mean? CBD enlightens you, but I'm not even doing that.

Sometimes. But alcohol, what is the positives? What's the positives? Think about it. Yeah, so from a chemical standpoint, it engages your brain to give you a little bit more loose sense of thought. Sometimes it opens up memories. It's a good conversation starter. It's a great way to connect people from across the world.

If you don't speak the same language, everybody does speak alcohol. It's the most consumed beverage on the planet other than water. But that doesn't mean it's good. Well, there's a lot of things that aren't good. Living in Los Angeles isn't good. Breathing air isn't good. Yeah, so just because it's popular of things that aren't good. It's the most consumed. Yeah, there's a lot. Living in Los Angeles isn't good. Breathing air isn't good. So just because it's popular doesn't mean it's good. I'm not, listen, I'm all about it.

But just because it's bad doesn't mean it's also still not good. Dude, there's nothing more fun than me and going to Vegas and going to fucking Encore Beach Club. Drinking, partying. The best. Hitting the 1942. Yeah, fun. I'm all about it okay let's go if i could do that and be patty positive and not have the after effects and not feel like shit or look older i would do it it affects you differently that's really what it comes down to i think so

yeah i'm not like a bitter drunk but i just but you're also drinking cafe i've only i've seen you drink coffee every time you come over. Yeah. How many coffees do you have a day? Probably four. Maybe that's bad. Of course it's bad. Maybe that's bad.

See, that's the thing. It's like the world of addicts. They always substitute one addiction with another because you have to. At some point, if you're an addict, you're an addict, right? Most addicts smoke and drink coffee. Go to an AA meeting one time. Am I an addict now? Yeah, you probably are.

But how come I didn't have to go to a meeting? You probably could use it. Maybe. I'm definitely obsessed. You're probably a high-functioning addict. I'm obsessive as fuck. So you're probably a high-functioning addict. There's nothing wrong with it.

Yeah, maybe. You have an addictive personality, right? Most comedians have addictive personalities. I would argue the high majority of comedians have some sense of an addictive personality or a straight addiction. I mean, how many comedians do you know are sober because they were addicts? A lot. A lot. A lot, a lot.

But also there's a lot of comics just not drinking. Right. There's a lot of guys that don't. I'm still trying to hold it down. I'm trying to hold it down. By the way, you can do whatever you want. I had this made. I can't do a stop now.

No. And you are chill. I've been around you when you've had some. You're great. It just doesn't affect me in the sense that like I've had a few too many. I've had that. I've had. I'm not saying that doesn't happen.

I've had that where it's like, oh, too many, and I get a little too fucked up. But for the most part, I like to have one or two. And then, like, last night, had one at dinner because we had guests over, and then it was like maybe I was going to have another one at the club with Joe, and I just didn't. And then, you know, you get in the whip and then go home. And it's kind of like, I don't, I just, it's not on my mind like that. Like, it's not like, like so many people I feel are overtly conscious of it. Yeah. I'm not, I'm not on my mind. I'm not thinking about it anymore. Well,

not anymore, but you were for a long time, right? A little bit. Yeah. I do. Look, it is, it can be bad for you. It can be good. It's in my blood, dude. I'm Irish. I can't say no. You know what I mean? Also, for me, I do think the joys of having a nice drink with somebody, having a long late night talk. Dude, I'm all about it. Yeah, it's nice.

But like, here's the thing. I love those Belgian beers. I was taking down one of those. I would love those. Those Chimay's. Yeah, Chimay. And I was doing the Recons. Sure.

One with the little pig. So you were just smashing those things. Yeah, and I was a real connoisseur where to me it was a foodie thing. But the pounds started getting on in the feet. Well, yeah. And so, but look, I'm all about the cognac,

a late night cognac and a cigar. I could do it. And I just feel like It's fucked you up I just didn't look as good I look better now I do look I saw myself on camera And I'm like

You know what I mean You don't like the way You look on TV No But But look man There are people That can handle it

Anyone should be able To do whatever they want Everyone should be able To do whatever they want And I can drink Sometimes if I want I just don't want to do it right now. I'm happy for you.

It's not like a big deal. Do you want a drink? Should I pour some of this in your coffee? What I would like you to do. Main lighted in my dick. That's a brown, dude. You're in the... That sauce is intense.

I mean, you're basically... This is really good. This should be called sauce ginger. I mean, that's some gas, dude. That's gasoline. What do you mean? This stuff's great. This is cigar blend bourbon.

This is Joseph Madness. I never went really past the beer and the wine. Tequila at clubs. And that was it. Well, see, here's some gas, dude. That's gasoline. I mean, this stuff's great. This is a cigar blend bourbon. This is Joseph Madness. I never went really past the beer and the wine. Tequila at clubs. And that was it. Well, see, here's the difference. I like a very small amount of whiskey or bourbon. And that settles me in really nice. Beer, you drink fucking nine of those fucking things.

You become this fat, slobbingly. There's something about it that drozes me out. There's nothing classy about beer. Beer is kind of like this. I like to have one once in a while I'm not a big beer guy yeah it's just it's like a slob it's like a slob it's a slob drink I know what you're saying you just because the people that drink it nobody had like this there's a lot of people that drink liquor a small amount you have one it's smooth it's nice maybe maybe two with friends at the house or whatever but when you're drinking beer, you're out. You're getting fucking tanked.

Yeah. Drinking 19 fucking Bud Lights. I've seen these. I know these guys. I'm from the Midwest. People get fucking shithoused. You're also, exactly. That's a big thing about you.

You're from the Midwest. Yeah, they get shithoused. Those people like to drink. We love to drink. It's freezing nine months out of the year. Yeah. The minute it's above 42, you guys are like, summer! Close off, bitch.

I mean, you're out in that fake ocean on the edge. Hey, that's a lake, bitch. Exactly. And you guys are like, ooh, something without cheese on it. I mean, you guys get in there. Yeah, but you know what? Wait, I have a- That's a great culture.

And by the way, Midwest people live. They live. I do. I have a story. I don't know if this is going to come up. Give it to me. Give it to me. So I was doing the Jamie Cannon experiment.

Well, now that was your show. Yeah, that was my show. It's a guy named Jamie. So I'm doing that. Yeah. And by the way, I want to tell you two things. I didn't drink for a long time when I was struggling. You know when I started drinking?

And I got to remember this story. I didn't start drinking until I started getting successful because of rap parties. Yeah. And it would be like, we'll kill it. And it would be like, we did something and you should celebrate.

That's when I started it, really. Yeah. So, and then, it's in the culture. And then when I really started getting successful in the late 90s, apple martinis were the thing.

So every time I would like, you know, I was feeling myself, I would take a girl out every night, apple martini, you know, try to, you know, close the deal. That makes me so nauseous, apple martini. It was the biggest, I was feeling myself. I would take a girl out every night, apple martini, you know, try to, you know. The sound of that makes me so nauseous.

Apple martini. It was the biggest. It was so sweet and gross. In the late 90s, dude. Like Cosmopolitans were a drink for a while. Dude, the BMW, the Cosmopolitan, and the young girl from the Extra had been, all right, too much. That's just enough. Exactly.

You picked off Extras, huh? Did you ever say send them to my trailer? You didn't pick them off. They picked me off. Did you ever say send them to my trailer? Stop it. Did you ever say send them to my trailer? You didn't pick them off. They picked me off. Did you ever say send them to my trailer? Stop it. Did you ever say send them to my trailer? Never.

Don't lie to me, bro. Never. But I would be like, you know, I have a trailer. If you want to swing by. What are you doing after this? Nothing? Because you're close to poor? Come back to my trailer.

You made $48 today? What an apple martini. That's how much an apple martini was. So wait. So I'm doing a Jamie King experiment and I'm in Miami two weeks. And I'm living the dream. Boom. Hanging out with Puerto Ricans. Living. Having fun.

No stress. We did four cities. The second one we did was New York. Living the dream. Boom. Then we Vegas two weeks. living the dream boom then we vegas two weeks living the dream go to chicago amazing people chicago always is welcome to me yeah i've sung at the games i've been at the big games i've been at the ivs i've with the coach all this stuff yeah the greatest it's been very welcoming to me. Right.

Miami. What's up, girl? How you doing? Boom. Good time, fun. New York. What's up, baby? You know, 3 a.m.

We're hanging out at the club. Boom. You know, Vegas. No problem. Chicago, drinking 3 a.m. Hey, what's up? Ooh. Well, I don't.

Hey, you want to. Wait a second there. What is that? What is that, Wisconsin? I don't know where it wanna wait a second there let's just let's just hang I don't know where it was don't you wanna hang out well I do but I I don't know you that well

hold on lady I'm I gotta go I got a 6am call are we in or out well I well maybe we can do it tomorrow

have another date hold on lady I'm playing an old man tomorrow and then dude Miami what I'm trying to say is, in Chicago, it was like, you didn't close the deal right away.

And I'm like, hold on, I just closed in Miami, just closed in Vegas, just closed in New York, but Chicago wants to make me wait. They make you work, bitch. Yeah, and I was like, come on now. So you explain that to me. I gotta tell you something. That's because Chicago is quality human beings.

The Midwest is filled with good people. Turtleneck. I mean, girls in bikinis in Miami, whatever we need. Sluts. Turtlenecks. Sluts. Why are they sluts? We call them good people.

Sluts. But Chicago all of a sudden had morals. That's right. They have ethics and morals. Good people, man. They say, you take me out for a hot dog. You show me right, Jamie Kennedy. They would drink me under the table.

They would. And I would just fall asleep. Yeah, that's right. So all the cities had a great time. They don't want you to fall asleep. I had a great time in Chicago, but never handled it. Never closed. Well, next time we go to Chicago, we'll make sure everyone that's in Chicago, if there's

any girls out there that are looking to- I'm not saying you have to now. Slob on the knob of JK. Just come see him after a show. That's aggressive. You can catch a blowjob, dude. I'm trying to set you up for a blowjob.

Preach, preach. Preach. But you would have think the height of my WB fame, but they still wanted, they wanted two or three meetups. WB, man. Whatever happened to WB?

It became the CW. It's a CW, right? And the CW is something else now, isn't it? It's more sexy shows. We're at the WB. Yeah. So we had the frog. We had that.

That talking frog, man. People are, I don't think a lot of my fans are going to remember that. If you look at it. How do they not remember that? Well, dude, generationally, I think there's a lot of people that didn't, that weren't, that might be too young to remember that because the WB was gone a long time ago. Do they remember the Buffy the Vampire Slayer? He used to have a frog who had like a top hat and shit and he had like a fucking cane.

Dude. That was so weird. It was so weird. I think Chappelle did a bit about it, right? Didn't Chappelle do a bit? Like it was very like vaudevillian black guy or something. We had a frog and we used to have to do promos with the frog. Yeah, right.

It was an animated frog that you used to have to pretend to like talk to. And Milo, have to do promos with the frog. Yeah, right. It was an animated frog that you used to have to pretend to talk to. I would do promos with Milo. Oh, yeah, because he was on Gilmore Girls. I would do promos with Simon Rex. Me and Simon were just talking about it because he was on Jack and Jill. Right, right. I did promos with probably everybody you know because we were all in that time. But with the frog.

How degrading is it to do a promo with an animated fucking frog? Yeah. Network promo. yeah well you didn't know exactly where it was gonna dance so we had a stand-in frog oh it's so stupid and it was like that's so dumb he was michigan j frog was it a puppet it was a statue and then they were gonna animate it that's so stupid that was our boy that's how dumb like network network plugging is so silly. Like remember that, remember like on networks like when the heads pop up

from the corner and it's like, next on NBC. It's like, that shit was so dumb. Well, hard. It was like the worst marketing team of all time

was like, it'll be, it'll be, kids will think it's cool if they pop up out of the corner. It's just, it was so stupid. It was so dumb.

I love what you're saying because you do when you're a young actor, young comedian and you're there and they because you do when you're a young actor young comedian and you're there and they bring you in and then they're like give us something like wild yeah and you're like so a lot of times it looks like actors are like constipated because it's like they don't want to do it yeah they're doing it just because and it's just like come on man and yeah and then if you don't do it you're difficult right but when you you have to do when you're young because um you're a bitch yeah because you're a bitch when you're

young and you're like fuck it i'll just do it they're paying me more money than i've ever made i just quit my day job yeah you know what i mean so like you do it because you know it's the right thing to do but god damn some of that shit is so fucking trash because it's it's some 58 year old white guy who fucking is you know out of touch as touch as fuck. That's like, well, you know what? I bet the kid. What if you do like a fidget spinners and everyone says they're lit? You know, it's like they have no fucking idea what's really going on. So they just make up what they think is culturally cool.

They make people do it. And then you look like a fucking idiot. But everything in that corporate world is just, it's like light years behind. Because anybody that's young enough is making their own fucking material. That's the problem. but everything in that everything in that corporate world is just it's like light years behind dude because anybody that's young enough is making their own fucking material that's the problem

it's like you go to those up fronts and you go to all those things for network stuff and fuck me dude the questions they ask the dumb shit

that they ask you what's your what's it like did you now how did you get the role wait wait what's your motivation for the character?

I don't know. 60,000 a week. Yeah. Money. Yeah. I think they gave me a fuckload of money. Um, what, well, tell me how you get in the character. I show up.

Yeah. I thought about it. I practiced it. And I, I'm here. I'm here. That's, I think Seinfeld shit all over actors saying that they're like, they're just pretty people who play dress up. Like it's like not, it's, it's not like, stop pretending like what you're doing.

I don't, the word brilliant is overused in our business. So true. Oh, he's brilliant. Like, no, I mean, he's good at his thing. Brilliant is a guy who fucking cured cancer. Brilliant is a woman who does NASA equations. Like we're not brilliant. No standups are fucking brilliant.

They may say powerful shit. Yeah. Actors may do powerful things. They may have these abilities. I was clicking on somebody's fucking Instagram today. I won't say who it is natalie portman but i was on her instagram today for some reason and and i was just like when when did it start that actors are all political activists i want to know like the moment that it happened when like everybody was like everyone became this mega politician everyone's a mega politician. Everyone's a mega politician. Dude, that's such a good topic.

You can't just be like a regular, you know me from this stupid show that I did. And here's me and my family or my friends having a good time. Now it's like politically, so everyone's such a political activist. There's some good in it, I understand. I'm not saying you shouldn't be,

shouldn't have your own opinion. But dude, so many actors, they flood their whole fucking thing is like political activism and you're like yeah bro i get it you care but also like fucking you know i want to see you eating avocado toast and chia pudding dude dude show me who you are dude i try to stay away from that because i'm like i want to be the escape well i mean you told me i remember you texted me a couple days ago and said, you said, I can't wait till Trump wins again. We can have a party. Yeah. And I said, we'll have a

MAGA party at my house. Yes. Because you were, you gave him the idea for the red hats. Yeah, I gave him the idea for the red hats and I was also, you know, one of his chief fundraisers. You were. Because it was going to be a blue hat and you said it should be red. No, I said Don. Don. Donnie. Yeah. Do you think he talks to anybody?

Do you think Trump listens to literally anybody at all? I wonder. I wonder if there's one guy that nobody knows that he listens to. I don't know, dude. I think Trump does what he wants. Yeah. But the thing is, it's like what you said, going back to what you said, it's like, I don't, yeah, man, like the whole, that's another whole thing.

What? People becoming political activists now? Well, it's just like. That's what Twitter is. Twitter is nothing but politics now. I used to think it was fun. Now Twitter is like. Can't I just see you dance?

Yeah, can't we just have fun? Yeah. Can't I see a handicapped kid make a three-point shot in a high school basketball game? Like, can't we just have those moments on Twitter? Like, did you see the donkey that hugged the girl that raised her? Oh, that was amazing. Come on, dude. Like, that's what I want Twitter to be show me some light of happiness i see sadness all the

time we see sad shit in the news every fucking day i don't want to open the internet and also see more sad annoying angry shit it's fucking gross and i knew when the fucking mass shootings happened all it was going to be was an well i had i had a post on that and i usually don't do it but i had but here's my take on that bro because you think there should be bump stocks and you want more people to have guns. You're a part of a new campaign to get more guns in more people's hands, including underage kids. Listen, listen. Jamie Kennedy is for 14-year-old boys and girls strapping up and doing whatever they need to do. 14 with ID.

No, here's what I want to say on that, and I never get involved with this, but my whole thing is this. Make this funny. Don't be serious. Oh, I have to? I want to say on that, and I never again involved with this, but my whole thing is this. Make this funny. Don't be serious. Oh, I have to? I want to be serious. No, don't be serious. If people want to talk about mass shootings, which I can't talk about because I've not been a victim of it, okay? But I want to say this, is that we have to stop idolizing dumb fucking culture.

The minute that mass shooting started, within 48 48 fucking hours the bachelorette was the number one trending thing yeah so if you're a news network show the shit don't blur it out it has to be so you think it should be more polarizing than it is polarizing it has to be in our faces i think it is 24 fuckingrific shit so people will deal with it. Yeah, but what do you want people to do? What are people going to do? Dude, people have to storm the places that sell the guns. They have to sell.

Just finish all of it. Storm the NRA. Storm the mental health. Storm whatever the problem is. And it's a mix of multiple things. It's not a very easy issue. Yeah. And it's a very deep issue.

Yeah. But they have to just stay involved instead of talking about The Bachelor. Yeah. I don't know, man. I think The Bachelor is the reason. The reason The Bachelor. The Bachelor is the same thing as alcohol, dude. It takes people away.

Exactly. Yeah. People need to be taken away. Which goes back to my point. If you want to be taken away then be taken away but don't be surprised when that shit happens again i know i'm arguing with people are surprised it's because it isn't being dealt with all the time yeah but it's hard dude because people live why people live tough lives and they want to be taken away they don't want to they don't want to

bombard their life with you know how many people have issues lots most people have problems yes so they it's hard for them to also focus on other issues when they're like dude i'm just trying to pay rent i have three jobs two kids so then don't be surprised when this shit happens no but see it's up to the responsibility lies in in making people aware and then people trying to fight for the right things to happen but the problem is you can't expect america to constantly absorb sad sadness all the time that otherwise they're that we're going to be a really abysmal place dude murder and death is so constant around the world we're just not privy to it we have mass shootings but dude a lot of the world has has constant war dude i know this so i'm just saying america lives in a bubble. Yeah, it's nice. It's a great bubble. More than it.

But I think you and I are saying the same thing but differently. Dude, I think America has to realize it is in a bubble. Yeah. I think we know. And I think, but do we? I think we're getting it now. What would we change? Tell me what would we change?

First of all, people have to, we need people to be really blunt about it. You need people in there. Not these guys go talking about that. Thoughts and prayers? Okay. Thoughts and prayers. Get the fuck out of here. They never fucking work. Well, of course.

What is going to work? That's my thing. I don't know yet. That's the problem. No one has a solution. But constant talking about it. Yeah. Constant talking about it.

Constant talking about it. You think that's going to solve it? Show the shit on TV So it's so fucking graphic That you're gonna get sick to your stomach See they say that that glorifies it That many Glorifies it

It's happening No see that's the problem What you're saying is also Contradicting yourself How? When they say they show mass murder And stuff like that a lot That what happens is copycat syndrome

So when they show people Okay I'll give you The greatest example on earth People used to fucking run And streak at baseball games all the time they used to be like a it's like a pastime of baseball a lot different than blowing people away but go ahead just listen the reason that the news cameras don't show that anymore they used to show it on national television used to see a streaker they don't show that anymore because they they said it would it would it promoted copycat theory and guess what streaking has gone down because people don't do it as much

i'm not saying it's the same thing i'm just saying the parallel is the more you show things, the more you glorify, the more you say these people's names that commit murder, that get praised by the chaos that they create. It almost gives influence to other crazy people to go, well, I want to be the next name. I want to be the next Columbine shooters. I want to be the next. So there is no right way to do that. There's no right way to be like, check this out, check out this murder. Cause I got to tell you, bro, you can open up the internet after, after a mass murder. It's everywhere. You see interviews, you see clips, soundbites, cell phone. It's not, it's not like it isn't in your face.

Okay. What, what I'm trying to say is, is that if people will get so fed up that it'll inundate their lives that will it ever stop no probably not no way because people are are just crazy it's been happening i remember the first mass shooting i remember when i was in philly it was like in 79 and like a stocked in california mcdonald's i remember that so my whole life i have been hearing about this has it probably worse now i don't know probably but we see it everywhere because we have so many news sources. Yeah, media. But what I'm saying is that I disagree with you that if we tackle it in a real way, all those people, all the politicians after the El Paso shooting were going, just want to let everybody know this is not somebody from El Paso. El Paso would never do

that what the fuck does that matter well people are fucking dead yeah who gives a fuck where he's from he's a piece of fucking garbage crazy and he got a fucking gun i mean what the fuck does it matter his geographical location let's solve the issue do you agree yeah it's just too hard. I don't know. But the things that are being talked about. It's not from El Paso. Well, people want to do that because they want to protect the nature of where they're from. They want to go, well, he's not ours and that's not ours and that's not our problem and we didn't do that. Look, dude, here's the

bottom line. It's an impossible unsolvable. It's an unsolvable, impossible thing. You're right. People can say whatever the fuck they want. You're right. It is unsolvable. That needs to be talked right. People can say whatever the fuck they want. You're right. It is unsolvable. It's unsolvable. That needs to be talked about then. It'll never happen. Somebody needs to say, listen, it's unsolvable and it's going to happen.

But my Jamie Kennedy's two cents is put it everywhere so people see it go, yo, we got a psycho on our hands. Get that guy. Yo, we got a psycho on our hands. Get that guy. Get that guy. Get that guy. All I'm saying is alert us to go to all kind of be vigilantes.

That's all I'm saying. Here's the deal. We have a lot of people that live in this country, right? Yes. There's like 300 million, right? 330. You're going to get a lot of people. I agree with that.

You're going to get a lot of people that are unstable, right? I agree. So when they compare us to other countries, we're one of the most developed countries in the world. Yes.

Guns are part of our literal future. Yes. I mean our past and our future. Yes. It'll never stop. And until you convince politicians from both sides of the aisle to get their hands out of the pockets and other people's hands out of their pockets in regards to fucking gun production, because our military production is massive.

You're never going to stop guns because you can get them illegally. Well, they're everywhere, dude. Yes. I read the Chicago Tribune every day and every morning. There's a ton of people that kill themselves and kill each. I mean, they kill each other in the south and the southwest side of chicago so you'll never get rid of guns in our culture but to think that we can stop mass shooting it's an extremely it's an extremely like hubris filled idea to go we can stop you can't what you can do is you offer better solutions

for people who have mental health issues hopefully that that that slows it down but this idea of like gun buyback or turning the guns or stop production it's like dude that won't that will never stop i you're ready we've gone way too far you've made too many of these things they exist that's like saying that that that's this that's that's like saying um shoes are getting out control. If we stop production of shoes today and no one in America got shoes anymore, you'd be like, there's already so many fucking shoes. We'll never run out of shoes. Yes.

We'll never run out of guns. There's already been so many made. So it's kind of like, it's a moot point to me when people are like, there is a way to stop this. It's like, there isn't a way. There's a way to help these things get better. But I don't think there's any way to stop i know i know what i'm taking umbrage with and that is a big word is that i agree with shorts of the 80s and 90s yes i agree with you what i wish the news

would say is instead of how do we stop it i wish the news would say like that you what you just said there's a lot of crazy people this is what we got to do people are in nature fucked up and I don't know I just feel like we need more we need to have we need more honest news yeah we just need more compassionate well there needs to be more talk on a public level in my opinion about helping people who have mental health issues of all kinds yes but there's a ton of, that's never, people are always going to be crazy. Okay, I'll give you a good example. And you can't say that word, but I have them in my family. No, they're fucking crazy.

Those guys are fucking crazy. I'm fucking crazy. I just happen to be able to touch a microphone, so it helps me. And they pay us to be crazy. Yeah. But my point is like, I'm not saying we shouldn't be talking about it. I'm not saying people should give up. I'm just saying when people yell at each other about the gun thing, it's the same as global warming.

It's like you can yell all you fucking want. You can yell. It's definitely not going to stop what's happening. You're right. You have to find better ways to implement programs, right? So the government should take a stance on, okay, we can't really fuck with guns because half of these motherfuckers are getting paid out the frame from guns alcohol tobacco and firearms is a massive part of our government okay it's huge right they're never going to stop giving you cancer and they're going to love guns in the streets because it gets them paid yeah so

if we had more government funded or health programs more more public health programs to have open arms to people that have issues that are online, like 8chan and all these websites that are like promoting hate and violence. And, you know, if we had more ability to open arms to these people and go, Hey, if you're looking to talk to someone for real, we'll talk to you for real. You know, it may not work because people are fucked up in the head, right? People are fucked up, but that's the, you can't thwart it. Otherwise you just, it's it's a silly notion to take take away guns it's a silly notion to think that you're gonna if you cease production of ar-15s today and bump stocks today that won't be the call i'm not saying we shouldn't

talk about it at all i'm just saying find a new thing to yell about we keep yelling every time the same argument the way the same way that people go thoughts and prayers don't do shit those are the same people that go take away the guns and take away the gun and they have the same argument so if you're yelling at politicians for going thoughts and prayers don't do shit. Those are the same people that go, take away the guns. Take away the guns. And they have the same argument. So if you're yelling at politicians for going thoughts and prayers, then you should change your fucking narrative too. Thoughts and prayers is dumb though. It is too, but they-

I'm not saying take away the guns either. They all say it because it is the- It's stupid. Well, it's cordial rhetoric. It's something to say. I mean, I'm not saying they, whatever. They're saying that because that's par for the course. It's like what you should say.

But I just think like you want more public health programs out there that should be something we're fighting and i'll fight for that shit and i'll have my taxes go to that shit i'll have a tax increase to help out people that need help but i gotta tell you dude fucked up people are never gonna go away i read in the paper 100 i agree with that hour ago before you came over a dude at a rodeo a 39 39-year-old fucking adult male, choke body slammed a 13-year-old because he didn't take his hat off for the national anthem. He said, you better take your fucking hat off. And the kid said, fuck you.

I'm not taking my hat off. He grabbed him by the throat and he choked him and he slammed him to the ground so bad they airlifted the kid and he had to go to Children's Hospital in another state because he was bleeding out of his fucking ears. This guy, there's a lot of these guys bro they're not gonna stop that's my point i have to tell you it's gonna get fucking worse i don't think it's gonna i think it's gonna stay i guess it's gonna stay how it is it's gonna get crazy i think crazy people are always gonna get crazy remember this podcast you think it'll

get worse fuck yes i don't think so it's fucking technology too is getting into our brains and that's a whole other podcast. Here's what we need. We just need the ability to... You and I are in the same plane, but go ahead and then I want to comment. We need the ability to find out how to trace, track, and have better regulations on who gets guns where and and and why that would be cool if we could do that that would be cool street guns handguns guns that are just passed around you know some dude and fuck you can't that's the thing that'll always happen but but to be able to get a a massive uh automatic rifle it's not as easy as getting a fucking glock on the street

you know what i mean you can go to a bad neighborhood and get a gun probably this afternoon. It's a lot harder to go get a fucking automatic rifle. I don't think those are as readily available. So if they were more trackable, more traceable, more identifiable, it's almost like chipping a dog. It's like if we could chip guns, that would be fucking, that would be dope. My opinion is this. No good until people are talking about it.

I get that. I guess you can't solve it like you're saying. But I'm just saying the escape factor when this shit's happened is pretty quick. Yeah. And that is like, and then here's what my, and I'm annoyed at that. And then I'm annoyed with people going, oh my God, it happened again. Well, it's like, what are you guys doing? Like, i when you see these public programs bro i can't with that that would be that that would help programs it would help none of these fucking things they take forever

to implement there's so much fucking gridlock everything takes forever i know obamacare took eight years and people were so happy that he got that off the ground people that support that were happy okay things take forever okay things take forever i'm just telling you may not have forever but see that's my problem people think it's going to happen overnight that's bananas you're right you have to slowly plant seeds and let them grow america's a spoiled selfish we are inundated with information and technology to the point where we go well if i don't have it now then fuck it no dude you have to plant the seed and let it grow that that across any board the only way to have progress as our culture

is for us to slowly work on things chip away chip away chip away until it works you know what I mean yeah no

Sistine Chapel wasn't painted in an afternoon yeah but I just hate when these guys say you know it's just been said for a long time yeah but

of course we can fucking fast track Some of this shit I don't know what the answer is See we don't That's my point Nobody knows We'll never

And we'll be dead The big money Is coming from guns It's not Politicians are getting that money They're all shady Yeah They're all shady dude

They're all fucking Did you see Bernie Sanders Went on Joe Rogan I gotta see it But I saw he was He showed his dick Like an hour and a half in. Wow.

Yeah, he's like, you want to see my dick, Joe? And he pulled his cock out, put it on the desk. Joe? And the poles are up. The poles are way up. Yeah. His pole was way, way up. He was thick, dude.

Wow. Thick as a tuna can dick. This motherfucker was thick. Circumcised? Yeah. Okay. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Of course. Yeah, he had a helmet. He had the helmet shown there, and it was just thicky, thicky, thick, dude. I got to peep. It was like this mic. I. Yeah. Of course. Yeah. He had a helmet. He had the, he had the, he had, he had the helmet shown and it was just thick, thick, thick. I got a P. It was like this mic. I got to peep that.

You do. Yeah. You got to see it. Yeah. It's good. Jerk off. But we got real serious there. It wasn't an aggressive.

I commit to it. I commit. You have to go deep. If you're going to do it, you have to go deep. Yeah. Let's get on a lighter topic. Go ahead.

Ask me whatever. So you're strongly against gay marriage. Don't even joke like that. It's so scary, man. You can't do jokes anymore. Jamie, you're strongly against. Well, you are one of the leading proponents. You're against trans culture as a whole.

Now, you've said that multiple times. And you've said that to me off the record. You said, Jamie Kennedy, I am someone who I'm against gay marriage. I'm against progressive culture hell people will believe that nobody's gonna tell them that no one's gonna believe that

Jesus Christ cause it's 2019 look how much of a bitch I've become yeah but that's why people are gonna believe it cause you're being a bitch about it no they believe it

if you're being honest about the joke then they'll know you're bitch you're right well in comedy clubs here this is a this is a comedy podcast oh it's a comedy club

yeah okay let me tell you by the way i'm the youngest of four sisters every halloween i was some type of female i was transitioning before anyone you really yeah i did blackface every single year as a kid up until like i don't know six years ago seven years ago wow yeah and how did that go for you good i wanted to be michael jordan he was my favorite athlete. Yeah. Yeah. And you wore sneakers. Shoe polish. I just put shoe polish all over my, everywhere. Yeah.

I mean, I love it. You have those videos haven't come up yet. So you're fine. I hope they do. How many kids wore racist costumes when we were kids? We were all racist. Everyone's still a little racist. You know who laughs at racism the hardest?

Who? Black people. They're the most fun. Black people are the most fun. They know how to take fucking great jokes. I tell a joke about it on stage that i had for the first time in my life i had a black pilot i had a black pilot i never i've never noticed it i was like wow i don't think i've ever had a black pilot i've been flying for how many years and i got on the plane and uh he's greeting people he goes hey what's up and i go oh shit you did not do that i did i did oh snap oh shit jesus and i tell the rest i'm not gonna

tell the rest of the joke you gotta come see me laugh but anyway he laughed and we had a good we had an we had a hilarious time he had a good moment it was just so it was just so relieving to be like people can still take jokes it wasn't it wasn't like i was going oh man the black guys can't fly planes like fucking i'm, I'm an educated human being. It was a joke that he knew how to laugh at. Of course. Nobody knows how to laugh at jokes better than people that are not white. Whites are fucking annoying as fuck.

Whites can't laugh at shit. White women. Yeah, they're the most. White women. Fucking, you can't say shit. I call them the shabbily gangsters, white wine warriors. You can't say shit. Dude.

They will persecute They'll fry you At the fucking By the way And your next white women No no they're not They're up on the They're fine

They're untouchable They're untouchable No they're not White men are gonna be Hey We're gonna keep taking The hits for a long time We got

Yeah we're taking Here's the deal I'm not just hitting On white women White men are fucking White people Do not know how to Fucking take a goddamn joke we are so sensitive about nonsense about bullshit and if we had a little bit better of a sense of humor and more intellectual senses of humor

about being sarcastic and fucking playing with something and having fun and loving the idea of talking shit to each other we'd be much better off man no white people know how to joke the least about each other for some reason i agree with that but dude the whole thing is you can we can joke whenever we want but you have to admit that people are so fucking stupid and what they don't know is humor anymore well dude there's a lot of people that i think i think people are scared to laugh at things because they're afraid. You have to constantly explain, explain, explain, explain, explain. I don't think you have to.

I think you just do it and you don't give a fuck. And if they don't get it and they don't like it too fucking bad. Fuck that. I'm not pandering to people that don't get it. Yeah. Write me up. Write me up because anybody that reads the joke will understand that what I said was a joke. But the world has less funny people.

Yeah, good. Good. I agree with you, dude. Here's the balance. We're cutting out trash. You're cutting out trash. Comedy is getting stronger and better. Yes.

Because people are paying attention to what you're saying. You used to be able to get away with a lot more. Comics got away with stupid shit for a long fucking time, right? Meaning that shit they shouldn't have gotten away with? Just cheap. It was just cheap. Yeah. Okay, now people are paying attention.

It just means, it's not that you can't say what you want to say. You just have to be funny. You have to be funnier with it. Okay, well good. When people are like, well, what can you say these days?

It's like anything. If you're dope, if you're funny, I can make almost any joke if it's funny enough. I don't give a fuck what context it's in. It doesn't matter

who I'm making fun of. It doesn't matter who I'm making fun of. It doesn't matter what I'm making fun of. You know, when people went after Louis C.K. for making the Parkland shootings, they weren't mad at the Parkland shooting. They were mad at Louis C.K. for his behavior prior to. If Chris Rock made that joke in a different context,

he probably wouldn't have gotten as much hate. They were mad at Louis C.K., but they were also mad at that joke. Doesn't matter. He was working on a joke in a comedy club. Exactly. My argument is you went to a guy's office and filmed him when he was at work. Yeah, doing paperwork.

And he wasn't ready to show you his final report. Yeah, but also, I don't care what the joke is about. You can make jokes about anything. I agree. You and I are on the same page. The joke is first. Yeah, the joke is first. So that's my whole thing. I don't think you dumbed down ever for anybody. I don't think you changed for like- You and I are on the same page. The joke is first. Yeah, the joke is first. So that's my whole thing is like,

I don't think you dumbed down ever for anybody. I don't think you changed for anybody. I think there's an audience for everybody. The more that we change, the more that we're gonna be this weird singular unit of comedy. We're all gonna sound the same and look the same.

I agree. Fuck that shit. I agree. Like, you know, like we were going back and forth on the gun thing. We have two similar but different opinions about it.

That's a good thing. We should have different branches of, that's what all this stuff should be you know you're gonna show your dick on this show this has been about an hour in i'd like to get it a little you want to be bernie you want to have a bernie bump i would like to get a little wider do you will you vote for me i don't like bernie man i never liked the dude not to get political uh are you getting political but i will i don't like jesus god i don't like him what don't you like about him he's old i can't have someone that old old af i don't like i don't believe in a lot of his bullshit i think everybody believed his bullshit i think they're all phonies all of them i think everyone's a phony but i didn't buy into him for some reason

people bought into him but let me ask you a question are you are you registered to vote do you believe your vote matters uh do you believe do you vote? Do you believe your vote matters? Do you believe this? If you believe in anything. I believe that all politicians are puppets to the big money corporations. After they receive donations, they are. I think the initial intention of local government and when you go on to smaller levels of government as a small fish in a big pond i believe that they probably do a lot of them do care about policy but then i think at some point when you get those super packs and donors and you know when people are putting money in your pocket i think

everything changes it's the same way we are dude it's we just talked about this dude you're you are an independent artist until you have a sitcom on nbc and they're paying you a lot of money and then you're like yeah i'm gonna do that promo i'm gonna dance with the frog it's like that's what we do you fuck everyone does a dance when they're stuffing your pockets of money you're like I kind of got to do the dance I don't really want to but I got to do it I think a lot of them a lot of politicians in their heart of hearts had good intentions and good motives I think all that stuff gets lost it's like a child yeah you're a kid you have a clear conscious you get older and you get a dirty mind see my because the world

corrupts you yes my theory is this though is that what you're saying i took it in a different way is there's a dishonesty between what is being said and how people are for instance on the simplest level when i was watching fucking espn and they were talking about another player that called the player the B word. Bitch? Exactly. The B word. You could say bitch on TV. No, they weren't saying it.

These announcers were going, he called him the B word. What the fuck are we in in a culture where a grown man cannot report another story

about another grown man calling another man a bitch? I don't know if it was bitch. How do you know it was bitch? Because they never said it. Because there's another word called bagot. That's a more offensive word.

Oh. Yeah, bagot. Do you know what that is? Oh. It's like a Bilbo Baggins thing. But who also. It's if you're a bold. Yes.

Got it. A bagot. But he said bitch. Bitch. So what I'm saying to you is, is that the problems we have is because society kind of has this layer of like this is what we are this is what we are but really underneath we're not when you go to a comedy club think about the nature of what we do people laugh at shit that they never hear in the real world right and they laugh heartily because you're not supposed to so

i wish culture would be more honest so we didn't I wish the world kind of was a comedy club in that sense does that make sense I wish the world

was a comedy club and that's your next special yes coming out on Netflix this fall I wish the world was a comedy club with Jamie Kennedy

no I know what you mean yeah I wish the world was a little bit I wish the United States I should say had a better sense of humor because you go to other parts

of the world they still know how to laugh at nonsense yeah some parts other parts fucking yeah the Japanese

got a great sense of humor you ever been to Japan oh I did the chuckle hut in Kyoto you did oh it was incredible I did the funny bone in Nagoya

yeah it was fun I saw your poster I was on a small you did I was on a small boat and they said coming soon they animate me for the poster uh no look that we're not going to solve any of the issues on the podcast but i do but i do think it's nice that we talk about that shit because it does it does it deserves to be talked about there's a lot of bullshit going on in the motherfucking world at the end of the day best. We're going to be out of here soon.

Just do what you got to do. That's all I think, man. Try your best. Whatever. We're never going to solve issues. We're going to try our best. You're going to fucking put your foot forward. You make your little cul-de-sac better.

Everything else will grow. And I believe in that. I believe if you just like, you put your best foot forward and everybody kind of puts their best foot forward, we slowly can grow a little bit. It's not going to be easy. Yeah. Let people do what they want to do as long as it's not hurting you hell yeah right do your shit your shit just don't leave the fuck alone yeah that's what i say do your shit and if your shit's going into my yard i gotta say something to your shit i know you know what's so funny my fucking neighbor the pine needles drips all over our driveway all the time

and i have to and i got a extremely um that's a that's a upper class ginger. I got a powerful leaf blower, and I turn that bitch all the way up to 175 miles an hour. I do it on purpose. Are you having words? No. They hear me, though. They hear me blowing. Dude.

You hear me blowing? My dude has this. Here's the fence. My dude's tree's like this. So I chopped that shit. Hell yeah. And he was knocked on my door, but I wasn't there. So I chopped that shit. Hell yeah. And he was knocked on my door

but I wasn't there. I'm on the road a couple times. You're like, that was my landscape guy. I didn't do that shit. Yeah, I had a little assistant

helping me and she was like, we don't know anything. See, I know. I go out there with the I turn that bitch all the way up because the pine needles get all over the car

and shit like that. So I gotta get rid of it. Dude, that's something to be said to him because you gotta make a car. I know, I said, in two more months we're gonna fight. So we're to get rid of him. Dude, that's something to be said to him. Because you got to make a car. I know. I said, in two more months, we're going to fight. So we're going to have a lawn fight.

You said that to him? Yeah, we're going to fist fight in the lawn. And what did he do? He was ready to rock. He said, let's go. Let's do it. So we're going to buy. We're going to close down the street and have a block party.

We're going to have an ice cream truck. We're going to have a bounce house. And me and this dude are going to fist fight. We're doing a yard fight. We want to do a yard fight, toe to toe. So we'll see. If he wins, he keeps the tree. If I win, I get the tree, the house, and his wife, and his car.

You guys going skin to skin or weapons? Butt naked, dude. All right. Butt naked. We got to be butt naked. Buck. Buck naked. Wow.

Buck or butt. I think it's, I'd like to say. I think it's buck. Yeah, but I think butt naked makes more sense. Makes sense because your butt is out. Your butt naked. Yeah. Your butt is out because usually you hide your ass.

And it's submission only until they tap out. Submission only. And it's out because usually you hide your ass. And it's submission only until they tap out. Submission only and it's got to be a straddle submission so I have to be on top of him while he has face up.

Wow, okay. You have to have your penis touch his chin. It's just an old neighborhood rule. That's just what we've been doing for a long time. All right. Put your dick on a chin.

Yeah. Chin dick. Chin dick. Chin dick is my album. I Wish the World was a Comedy Club with Jamie Kennedy. Chin dick is my album. I Wish the World Was a Comedy Club with Jamie Kennedy. Chin Dick is my album.

You can go to jamiekennedy.com and find out all sorts of other dope shit of what this motherfucker's up to. He's a great comedian,

a great man. He has a great sense of clothing, as you can tell by these checkered vans and that dope-ass Mickey Hawaiian shirt. This guy doesn't

fuck around. Even got the CK socks on. Throwback. Meta, but you don't even know it. No, I didn't know you're looking fresh and uh go to andrewsantino.com for all the shit that you need to know about me i'll be touring again in the fall but i'm taking a couple of months off to cool my fucking heels

um i love you for coming over do it i love you and i'm gonna drink a little bit more now that you're leaving do it it's okay it won't age you cunt just rub some under your eyes it is gonna age me isn't it it will make you look like a bitter angry old man how old do i look right now 60 that's good i'm 86 wow that's good no grace now i pluck them okay just like my nuts play up yeah you don't want that shit right now thank you Thank you for coming, bro. Thank you. Love you, bro. Whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey. You are that creature in the ginger beard. Sturdy and ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse.

Gingers are pugilist. You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse. Gingers are hell no. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers