Whiskey Ginger with Andrew Santino - Jeff Garlin

Episode Date: April 16, 2021

Santino sits down with Curb Your Enthusiasm and The Goldberg's Jeff Garlin to chat about Lorne Michaels walking out on Jeff's set, what its like to work with Larry, Jeff doing shows post pandy and not taking any money! ORDER SOME MERCH!!! https://www.andrewsantinostore.com Join our Patreon : https://www.patreon.com/whiskeygingerpodcast SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS! SQUARESPACE - Help design your website today with amazing templates and the help of professionals https://squarespace.com/whiskey Use promo code WHISKEY for 10% off BESPOKE POST Get an amazing collection of home and bar and outdoor goods https://www.bespokepost.com/start Promo code WHISKEY for 20% off your first box!!! MAGIC SPOON CEREAL Get a healthy late night with Keto frienddly, gluten free, grain free, soy free DELICIOUS CEREAL https://magicspoon.com/ginger Use code GINGER for $5 OFF!!! Follow Santino on Insta and Twitter: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ https://twitter.com/CheetoSantino Whiskey Ginger Insta and Twitter: https://www.instagram.com/whiskeygingerpodcast/ & https://twitter.com/whiskeyginger_ Whiskey Ginger Clips: http://www.youtube.com/c/WhiskeyGingerPodcastClips EDITING AND PRODUCTION DESIGN BY THE AMAZING WHISKEY GINGER TEAM JENNA SUNDE https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday/ JOE FARIA https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria Y&S https://www.instagram.com/youngandsick/ Intro Music by Rocom: https://www.youtube.com/user/RocomTelevision Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What up, Whiskey Ginger fans? Welcome back to the show. Like I always say, if this is your first time, welcome to the show. Please subscribe. Click that notification bell so you know, but we post every single Friday. People know that. No. You want to know more about me? Go to andrewsantino.com. That's where the tour dates are. Oh boy, oh boy. I am coming to Southern California. I'm going down to Brea, Orange County to do hour. I'm doing an hour. Not just see me doing local spots. I'm doing a full hour. I'm doing four shows as of now, two Friday, two Saturday in Brea. Then I go to Dallas, which is Addison, Dallas, Addison, Addison, Dallas, whatever. Then I'm going to Houston and Madison and Boston. And we're adding more dates as we go.

So go to andresantino.com for those tickets, baby, especially if you're in Southern California. Come out and see me. I don't know how many more times I'm going to be in town doing an hour. Whiskey Ginger Patreon is at Patreon.com slash Whiskey Ginger Podcast. Go check that out. That's where the solo episodes live and the Cheeto chats and all of that good stuff for you. If you're looking for merch, it's right down below in the merch bar if you're on YouTube.

If you're not, it's Andrewrosantinostore.com. And all this stuff can be found at androsantino.com, particularly the tour date. So go check me out on the road. Enough rambling from me. Let's go to the episode. In here, we pour whisk, whisk, whisk, whisk, whisk. You're that creature in the ginger field. Sturdy and ginger. Like vampires, the back to Whiskey Ginger.

My guest today is one of my favorite people. I don't have to say that for all my guests but i mean it once again today it is jeff garland baby hi perfect hi hi you know jeff uh jeff and i have known each other uh for for a couple years now uh we met before that yeah but we knew we only knew each other friendly for a few that's right that's the way that's the way I think I've known you for maybe 10 years. 10 years, a decade probably. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The first time I really, I'll say this, the first time I ever saw you do a full set, because

as you know, comics, we'll see each other do set to the store and da, da, da, whatever. I saw you in Atlanta. You were there shooting maybe, and you went you went into the laughing skull and you did five shows i think and you didn't know i was there the first time because you went back and we ran i ran into you there right and that was the first time i ever saw you do a full hour of comedy and i sat in the back eating uh eating my little popcorn and drinking my little whiskey and it's eating my little popcorn and drinking my little whiskey. And it's really wild

to see someone you know do their thing and they don't know that you're there. Right, of course. It's really kind of sexy that you're like, oh, he has no idea

that I'm here. And did you do well that night? I don't know. You did. Oh, good. Jeff, you did. Oh, thank you. And it was just one of those things

where it's cool to be a fly on the wall because we don't really get to see each other do an hour except for on a special. You don't really see guys do club sets. Or someone says, I'm doing an hour in the improv or something tonight to prep for my special. Come tell me any notes you have. But even then, I don't get, you know.

I know you're there to give me notes. See, that's what I don't like. Because in the back of your mind, you're like, oh, people that I love are here. Like, you know, Catherine O'Hara came to see me one time. But I didn't know she was there. Beautiful. And I got told afterwards by Larry Charles that she had come to see me. And I thought that was one of the coolest things, that she came, didn't want to let me know.

I know, and I think she's so incredible, too. I've had fake sex with her. You what? On Curb. Oh had fake sex with her. You what? On Curb. Oh, fake sex. Yeah. She played Marty Funkhauser's sister, Bam Bam Funkhauser. Bam Bam.

And Bam Bam and I had a- You made love. We made love. You made love. But I had to record the audio of it with her, because Larry walks down the hallway and hears us. Right. So I was in the laundry room in this house we were filming in

with the boom and she and i and we had to have sex right it was so surreal because i'm an sctv freak and she's a hero of mine big time uh and i mean she and she's also one of the nicest people you could ever meet. It was one of the strangest. I easily top 10. And I've had a lot of weird experiences in my career. That was easily top 10. Weird one. Wow.

She's she's one of the quickest. I think what I'm always been impressed by her comedy comedy on a comedy acting is her face is remarkably good at kind of like taking on the emotion that a lot of times comics aren't really great at because they oversell it all the time. Comics like to do this on a lot of like, it's like over the top. She's really good at really subtle comedy in her face. I'm always impressed by people that can do that.

She does subtle comedy. Yeah, that's super hard to do. It's very hard to do. Okay, so Jeff, now you're coming up on 17 years of goldbergs actually 38 seasons we just finished i believe our eighth season of the goldbergs how great and i'm filming my 11th season of curb wow yeah that's a lot of what does that feel like though on it would, like when you started, right? When you started doing TV, did you ever really want to stay on a show for a long time? God, no. And I still

don't. Curb is different because it's truly, I'm dealing with someone who's truly brilliant. You know, throw that word around. Jeff Schaefer, right. By the way, Jeff Schaefer is fucking awesome. And he holds Curb together. He's our director, producer. When it's the three of us having a discussion about a scene, I'm just giddy. Yeah. But Larry David's mind, every season, it's interesting to me. I'm never bored. Right.

Even the other day, filming this one scene with Jon Hamm and- What an ugly guy, by the way. What an ugly, untalented man. It's gross. It's a gross guy. And I said to JB, I said, you know, weirdly, in this scene, we're pretty much extras or background. And he laughed. It doesn't happen very often.

But I still wasn't bored because I was watching. And I was part of the process. I would discuss it with Larry after we shot it. So it was always interesting. Other shows, I mean, to me, you know, Netflix is getting a rep now for canceling shows after like three seasons. Sure. And a lot of studios don't want to work with them, a lot of producers. I love that.

Yeah. Because I think most television comedy, three seasons and you're done. Well, right. Like 30 episodes. That's the British model. Right. Over there, they do two comedy three seasons and you're done well right that's 30 episodes that's the british model and over over there they do they do two or three seasons honeymooners was 39 and phil wasn't up look at uh faulty towers i think there's 10 total episodes maybe eight total yeah and it's just it's perfect yeah because you can tell the story. Move on to something else. I'm happy for Netflix to say, all right, we'll pick up the show three seasons, and I'm happy to go, fantastic. Great.

Do you want to sign me for my next one after, and we'll only do three seasons? I'm in. Because you want to keep, it's interesting. But when it comes to- That's why stand-up's never boring, because we're in charge of the content. Right.

We're in charge of the approach. Whereas, you know, how many times can I call my kids a moron? It's good. Well, as many as until they become adults, which is what's going on on the show. No, they've already become adults. Yeah, they're grownups. They're playing young people.

The youngest kid has a Chicago accent. He's from Chicago. He's from Park Ridge. Is he really? Yeah. So my grandma lives. Shout out to Park Ridge. Yeah.

You hear the planes every day. By the way, you know who lives near Park Ridge? Who? John Wayne Casey. Really? By the way, I recommend for anyone out to Park Ridge. Yeah. You hear the planes every day. By the way, you know who lives near Park Ridge? Who? John Wayne Casey. Really? By the way, I recommend for anyone watching. Good people. I recommend for anyone watching because to me, I'm of the age that-

48. I'm 58. 48. No, 58. Jeff, let me do it. He's 48. You're ruining it. Okay, go ahead.

You're of the age. I'm very happy to be proud. Look, go ahead. You're of the age. I'm very happy to be proud. Look at my hair. You're of the age. But my family moved to Florida when I was 12. Yeah. But I moved back to Chicago to do Second City and all that. I'm a Chicagoan.

Boom. Okay? No doubt about it. But my peers, two friends of mine, were even picked up by Gacy and escaped. Seriously? I swear to God. Two friends of mine were even picked up by Gacy and escaped. Seriously?

I swear to God. Two friends who, by the way, told me separately. And they're great friends and didn't know it. So the point being is I would have been the age of all the – I was the age. I'm watching all the Gacy victims, 61, 62, 60, year born. They were teenagers, same time as me. year born, you know, they were teenagers, same time as me. So I've always been, and also, you know, was it 30, 29 bodies in a basement or something? And I know if we're going dark here on your- No, no, this is what this is for. But I learned so much from watching that thing. It's on the Peacock Network and there's not a lot of motivations to get Peacock. But this is a motivation to even do the one-week trial and then cancel.

I mean, it is so well done and so interesting. And so, yeah, so Park Ridge and Morton Grove is where I grew up. I was born in the city of Chicago, but I grew up in Morton Grove, which is the suburbs right next to Park Ridge, which is right next to, I forgot the area where Gacy was. But anyhow, it's right next to Park Ridge, which is right next to, I forgot the area where Gacy was. But anyhow, it's right next to Park Ridge. But still.

Displains over there. Displains, right. It's right next to Displains. Right. A lot of those victims were from Displains. And Rosemont. A lot of Rosemont killings. Rosemont.

Shout out to Rosemont killings. The Rosemont killings. Yeah. Well, there was a comedy club I played in Rosemont on River Road, the Comedy Cottage. Wait, and they got rid of that in, well, because Zany's moved out to Rosemont. No, Zany's, yeah, Zany's in Rosemont on River Road, the Comedy Cottage. Wait, and they got rid of that in, well, because Zany's moved out to Rosemont. No, Zany's, yeah, Zany's in Rosemont. But still Cottage kept going when Zany's was in Rosemont.

Did you start at Zany's on Wells? Yeah, I started at Zany's. I mean, that's not where I started. I started at the comic strip in Fort Lauderdale. Oh, right. But when I went back, yes, I was the house MC middle act. Each week I was either the MC or the middle act. And I experimented so much and they never fired me. So my love for Bert Haas, Rick Hewitt, who owns it, he's passed away. He was like a father figure to me.

He passed away, by the way, so strange. I had a mother figure, Joyce Sloan at Second City, who looked after me when I moved away from Florida back to Chicago. And Rick Hewitt looked after me at Zany, same time. And my dad, all three of them died the same year. Joyce, Rick, and my father died the same year. It was very strange when your father, when your people that, my parents love these people because they took care of me. So I'm indebted. I do Zany's forever. As a matter of fact, in the fall, Zany's and other clubs, I'm doing a tour. I'm playing all the clubs for free. Are you really? Yep. I make a great living. you know come on i'm on two tv shows i'm not going to i want to look i need to get back in shape the longest before the pandemic that i didn't do

stand-up two weeks yeah so we're well over a year i'm still waiting till august to start up again which i'll do locally um but then i start every weekend and i'm doing zany's and rosemont which is uh i love that yeah um and you're getting so you're doing it you're all for free so so tickets are on sale and then all the proceeds are going right back to the club right back to the club so they're not on sale yet i don't think no no no but i remember i just came up the name of the tour it's called use me use me and that's and that by the isn't that a symptom of every comic? Use me, please. Just use me. And so I want to give back to these clubs. I'm bringing an opening act.

The club has to pay the opening act, you know, but I'm flying them out and I'm putting them up, the opening act. Is it the same person that features for you all the time? No, I'm going to have someone different every show

so I can spread the gigs around to comics that I like. So let me ask you an honest question because a lot of people don't want to talk about it. What? The pay for middlers or features has been the same for about 20 years from the club. When I was a middle act, which we're talking late 80s, I was getting 600 a week. Okay. And most middle acts now get what, like four?

Four or five. well i my tour i've demanded they get a thousand that's see that's what we all need to be doing every headliner should be doing that from now on by the way when a club has said we're only going to get 500 i've paid the difference well see i always give i always give money on top of what the club does anyway but let's say it like this though i don't think we should be responsible for the supplementation we should do it out of the goodness of our hearts. Which we do. But the clubs need to pay these guys more.

Without a doubt. It's greed. Yeah. That's what it is. And it's not right. But hopefully they'll change their attitude in some way. They're paying them. They're not paying me.

Let's see if that. And I will say something to every one of them when we go out on this tour. See, because in our world, you're kind of one of the, you know, the father figures. So it's like it's on you guys to help us get to the next level. By the way, it most definitely is. Yeah. You know, if we were a union, I'd be our union leader. And you would be a picture of just you.

I could play the union leader, too. Yeah. No. By the way, I remember, speaking of the of the comedy cottage and I remember one night where I negotiated a raise that was hard fought. Right. For, and I'm,

this is not even an exaggeration. The pay went from $4 a show to $10 a show. That's huge. And I argued with big Ed was the man's name. I argued on behalf of the comics for probably three hours. And I got us the raise. That's awesome. And by the way, to be honest, normally you'd go, nobody appreciates.

Everyone's so appreciative. Of course. I said, it's got to be enough even just to put money in your gas tank, man. We're not going to get rich i know we're developing that was his argument right i'm giving you a stage yeah but you're making a huge profit well this has become the debate right like now you know i've had this conversation with a lot of comedians the clubs are getting weirded out because they're shows now outdoor shows that take place right now right and they're paying the comics pretty adequately which is you know a change

because usually you do sets in and you're just working out. And not everyone is on a TV show and can have money coming in. Without a doubt. So I'm curious to know what that is going to look like when the clubs are back open, if they're going to change the nature of that. Because look, Mitzi set out this thing at the store and the fans have heard it over the years a thousand times. But she said, I'm giving you a free stage to work on and you get a couple of bucks, but this is about the next level. But nowadays times have changed. And comedy is different. It's way different. That was, that was a different world. Right. And you do have to pay, I think personally, if you're going to have a well-attended show

and let's say your headliner is getting 2,500 You've got to put the money into a solid middle act. Well, yeah. They've never heard of this headliner. Right. Give the middle act. And you're making this great money off it. Tons. If the people are sold out.

Now, I understand if you're having a weekend when your club holds $500 and you only get $100, people – by the way, speaking of Zanies, who I said never fired me. Yeah. 100 people. By the way, speaking of Zanies, who I said never fired me, if they had a bad weekend back then, they would say to me, let's say I was making 400 for the weekend. They would say, we can only pay you 300 this week. We had a horrible weekend. And I know I was there. And I didn't like it then. Now I completely understand it. But they were very reasonable. I wish the logic would have been, we had the best weekend ever. More drinks ever. You were supposed to get four. We're paying you six.

Right. But I tell you what, I had a fallout with one of the corporate clubs. Well, the only corporate club, the improv. Right. And I. That's because you fought Bud. You punched him in the parking lot. Everybody knows that story.

You headlocked Bud and you beat his life. No, I made out with Bud and people caught us. No, Bud Freeman, we're talking about. Right. headlocked bud and you beat his life no i made out with bud and people caught us no uh bud freeman we're talking about right but but no i i um they wanted there was a weekend i played at their club kentucky it was a it was the funny bone cincinnati but it's in kentucky right for whatever reason i did i did my part i did radio i You did it all. I didn't draw. And I was on curb at this moment, whatever. And I did not draw.

Right. And they wanted me to give money back. And I'm like, no, no, no, no. If you're a club I have a relationship with and this is your only club, I'm giving you a deal and giving you money back. Sure. You're a corporate piece of shit. You motherfuckers own 14 clubs. There's so much money flying in. Yeah.

This is the risk you take. 100%. You know? Yeah. And so I can't- It's like feeling bad for the airlines. You're like, what the fuck? So you know what they did?

They canceled all my shows. Really? And you know what's really interesting? Those shows that were only like two gigs left, it's amazing that Dave Chappelle was available. Yeah. I wonder if they canceled to prove a point or they could get Dave Chappelle. It's like, all we have to do is fire Jeff Garland and Dave will play here. Sure.

Jeff, we're sick of your behavior. Yeah. That's it. Yeah. Quick. Oh, Dave Chappelle's available. By the way, Dave Chappelle is, I mean, talk about making your own way during this whole thing.

I'm actually, I'm jealous to a degree of like all the shows and all the stuff he was doing out there because it was wild to see. He just was like, well, I'll just make a comedy club myself. And people just come to me. He invited me to play in Austin. And I remember saying, come on, Jeff, you won't get to Austin. And he got it. Come to Austin.

Now, mind you, I'm filming two shows. Yeah. And so for me to go to Austin, I'm putting that at risk, the people I work with at risk, all of it. And I love Dave. I love him. Yeah. I run through a wall for him.

I love him. Yeah. And he's like, you know, we test and we do this. And then five minutes later, he got it. And I didn't laugh because I wasn't happy about it. But I was like, wow, it's good that I didn't get it. Well, yeah. I mean, look, I was testing on the FX show I'm on.

We tested every single day. I got tested this morning. It was every day. And guess what? People still got it on set. We tested every day, and it was still like people, go home at night. We had, I can't share some of the details because it's not out yet, but we had in one day because of one person that came, 10 people got sick.

By the way, and that one person's always a dick. Yeah. Well, they're always going to be, that's it. But I'm saying for me, what I've seen is when that happens,

it's always the one person that you would have bet on before the season. Who's going to get COVID? Who's going to give COVID? That motherfucker. He's the one traveling and live, you know, fuck this. have bet on before the season who's gonna get cobit who's gonna give cobit that motherfucker because he's the one traveling and live you know but this you're going to cabo yeah we saw the instagram post jeff i want to i want to stop for a second let's stop wait i i just want to divert back to something i want to thank you before we continue on our wonderful banter yes because it did mean a lot to me i've spoken about it on this show when i was going in

uh for curb uh you know it was uh allison jones and jeff was in the jeff um chafer was in there and larry was in there and uh when i went in uh you your um your presence uh and your like voice to larry saying that you knew me and all that stuff, it really did change the dynamic. And on the day when I shot, when you were like, oh, look who's here, it helped more than I think you'll ever know. And it was a thing that, it meant so much to me

because it's a comfortability blanket that was just- Well, that means a lot to me. I have to be honest. It means a lot to me and i always want to make because by the way what's more awkward than audition it's already so weird and then you you're auditioning what i'm doing the scene with larry david yeah no it's just i just want people to be well what you did made me go like i'm competent in my comedy skills but there are all those moments when you go well when you go i'm gonna get i'm gonna get uh you know you get a little anxious not nervous

but anxious i want to perform well so you're like do what you do well don't fuck this up don't don't get in your head just do what you do yeah and then when you do something like what you did i mean this it just makes you go ah fuck great perfect now i can drive full speed yeah i take off my seat and then you leave having done what you wanted to do 100 that whole logic of what are they looking for fuck that fuck that you go in and do what you do right and then if you leave feeling that you did what you wanted to do yeah it doesn't matter what they think right you know agents you say do you want us to find out i go go, please don't. You know, I got the gig or I didn't. In here, we pour whiskey. Are you guys trying to turn your cool idea into a website, blog, publish content, whatever you

are thinking to do with that material? You got to use Squarespace, man. Squarespace is incredible. That's how I built my site. And I'm not a smart man. I've told you guys that. I'm a little stupid. And I was able to do it. They've told you guys that I'm a little stupid and I was able to do it. They have these beautiful templates that you can use or you can do it on your own. Go rogue, do your own thing, man. Be that lone wolf out there trying to design your own stuff. You can, if you'd like, I'm not competent. So I needed to use the templates that they have. Plus they have award-winning 24 seven customer support, which is incredible. these people at Squarespace know how to set you up for the W if you're looking to just sell some stuff online or you

or you wanna publish content you just wanna write your feelings out and yell at the world on the internet you can do it with Squarespace it's very very convenient and easy to promote your business and they've got powerful e-commerce functionality let you sell anything online and it's optimized for mobile right out of the box, which is great because, you know, everyone's on their Telefonos these days. It's free and secure hosting, nothing to patch or upgrade ever.

So that's why these guys are so good. Go to squarespace.com slash whiskey for a free trial. When you're ready to launch, use the offer code whiskey to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Again, squarespace.com slash whiskey for a free trial. When you're ready, hit that code whiskey to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Again, squarespace.com slash whiskey for a free trial. When you're ready, hit that code whiskey to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Late night snackers. I love to have some late night snacks.

I got to tell you, Magic Spoon sent me four boxes of their delicious cereal. The peanut butter, come on. I love peanut butter cereal. It is so good. I was skeptical at first because let me tell you something. Magic Spoon has zero grams of sugar, 14 grams of protein, and only four net grams of carbs in each serving. It's only 140 calories a serving, and I was like,

this is not going to be good cereal. This is going to be hard rock, flaxseed, unchewable, you know, cement. But it's not. The variety pack came. It's great. It's cocoa, fruity, frosted, and peanut butter. And let me tell you, keto-friendly, gluten-free, grain-free, soy-free, low-carb, and GMO-free.

So I was skeptical, but, dude, I loved it. It is really good cereal, and I like late-night snacking on cereal when I get home after I've had a few, you know, a couple of sody pops. My favorite thing is to have a late-night snack cereal, and this is a healthy alternative to eating all that nasty junk food that's laying around your house. So trust me, try Magic Spoon. You will like this stuff.

It's very good. And it's pretty good for you. So, you know, you're winning on both ends. Go to magicspoon.com slash ginger to grab a variety pack and try it out today. I promise you will love it. Be sure to use the promo code ginger at checkout to save $5 off your order.

Magic Spoon is so confident in their product. It's back with 100% happiness guarantee. If you don't like it for any reason, which is insane, they'll refund you your money, no questions asked. Come on, man. You can't do that at the grocery store. Go grab some cereal and be like, I didn't like this. They'll be like, kick rocks. Who cares?

Remember, get your next delicious bowl of Gilfrey cereal at magicspoon.com slash ginger. Use the code GINGER to save $5 off. And I want to thank Magicrey cereal at magicspoon.com slash ginger. Use the code ginger to save $5 off. And I want to thank Magic Spoon for sponsoring this episode. I like gingers. And is the casting director going to tell you the truth? Right. One time I read for Melissa McCarthy and Ben. Her husband.

Her husband, yeah, for this movie. And she had liked me and said they wanted to see me again. And I was in my head and I was going through some nonsense outside of it. I just was in a bad place and I bombed so bad. But in the middle of it, I stopped and I said, "'You guys, I'm gonna have to say goodnight.'" And Melissa started laughing and I said,

"'This is not the time for me. "'I don't think this is gonna work out.'" And she was like chuckling a little bit and she thinks I'm kind of like doing a bit. And I said, no, no, no, I'm going to continue to bomb for the next 10 minutes and fuck up these lines because this isn't going to work. And she was like, okay, do you want to come back? And I said, I just think it's not right right now. And she thought that was hilarious. And then I walked out, my agents were like, what did you do? And I was like, I was just, it wasn't, it wasn't right. I had to say goodnight. You will live life like that. You will be.

I remember Dana Gould and Janine Garofalo are sitting on the side of the stage at the improv. I'm going up to the stage to audition for SNL. Lauren's in the room. Okay. And it was the night that I think Spade auditioned. I can't remember who auditioned. It was around the time when they're hiring Farley and all that. They hadn't hired him. Well, they had hired him because it was Chicago.

Anyhow, point being is as I walked to the stage, Lorne left. Lorne walked out. She got up? During my – he must have just looked over and went, no, I don't want to see that. And I went on stage and I was heartbroken. Yeah. And I told the audience, do you know what just happened? They had no idea.

I said, Lorne Michaels, the producer, I explained it. And I said, I just don't have the heart. And it's about you. And I should be doing the show for you. But my head was not there tonight. This was about me being seen by SNL, a dream of mine. And I said, I can't do my set. I am so sorry. They gave me a standing ovation. Right. Because they knew it was real. Because there's nothing fake about that. Real wins. Real wins. Always. And by the way, what's the best advice you can give someone who's bombing? Acknowledge. Yeah. Let them know. Acknowledge. Don't spew out at them. Just go, this is not going well. Make fun of yourself. And by the way, how many times do you recover because of that? Oh, it's- That humbleness.

Honestly, it's only 100% of recovery if you acknowledge that it's not going well. Yeah. If you don't acknowledge and try to trudge through, you got a 5% success rate. Right. And by the way, you can plow through. Sure, but it's- And you'll be done and you'll come off and you'll go, why am I wet? Right.

And it's not enjoyable and you usually do too long. Right. You always go over because you're trying to find a good closer. Which is not fair. No, it's not. You already ate shit. You have to acknowledge the elephant in the room, which is you are sucking.

Yeah. And the worst feeling in the world, and I've had both of these. When I bomb sometimes, and I know the audience just fucking blows because an audience is chemical. An audience is what did they eat? What was their day like? Who were their parents how were they like they're educating everything about their

lives yeah and they're mixed in together so you don't know what you're gonna get and there's some nights i go on stage and i fucking um i'm on fire i feel funny i know I'm funny and it's not grooving. I know it's the audience's fault. I do the best I can. I have fun with it, whatever. I acknowledge that enough. The nights where the audience is fucking perfect and delightful and I eat it are so hard on me emotionally. I drive home and I'm just like, I'm so sad and angry and upset, but I was off. I'll admit it. I sucked. It wasn't you. I sucked. So, but that's when I feel bad. That's when I feel like shit. But there are nights where like, I mean, come on, at the store in the original room, which is the hardest room, but the best room.

By far. If you groove in the original room, which it's one of my favorite rooms, and it's a room that I do well in. But when they're not having it, and you're not grooving, that is the toughest room, I think, to bomb in. The toughest room to bomb in. I had to follow. This is really unfortunate. Rock came. Seinfeld started coming back a few times maybe like five years ago right and he told that great that great story i've told it on here but he said

how mitzi didn't like him and out of resentment when he got his show he bought a house right above theirs on queens or whatever just just so he could see them on the way down to cbs radford and wave out of his porsche because he has that much resentment for them and well you can do that it's amazing he did it i know so seinfeld was back and rock was in town for something and rock was no one rock and jerry would park their cars in front and they would get either ticketed or towed didn't care yeah didn't care and rock was coming and he was staying late and i had skipped enough i skipped my skipped my first set because I had two others, and I came back late, and Rock was still around, hanging out in the buckets.

And I was really flustered and not prepared, and it was not smart. I should have just given up the spot. Without doubt. Yeah. And I wanted to do it because I thought, well, maybe I can clip a couple of good ones out there, have a couple of base hits at least. Right. I get up there, and I'm spoonfuls. I mean, spoonfuls of shit ones out there, you know, have a couple of base hits. At least I get up there and I'm,

I'm spoonfuls. I mean, spoonfuls of shit I'm eating. It's remarkable. It's almost other friends are just like, but who is this guy that's doing a bad version of Andrew's jokes? And I get off stage and I sit down, uh,

two seats over from rock next to, I think it was like court McCown or somebody that was sitting there. And, uh, rock, uh, kind of sits silent and then he, then he uh goes to get up you know to get away and then he turns and he goes good stuff and the good stuff was his funny way of saying it was fucking terrible like good stuff oh yeah no i know exactly what he meant when you said that's why i laughed terrible they don't know good stuff from chris rock means that was fucking embarrassing the worst you ate shit yeah work go back to work yeah but it hit me so hard that i was like i should have

just been real with myself and said i shouldn't do this set don't ever do the should have should have just i i i could have i could have just all could have not done it and by the way female comedians there's female comedians stop it because i'm about to say the word brotherhood oh right uh it's a brotherhood yeah and a sisterhood and we're all together but we all know who the real deal is yeah and we all know the people that are doing it to get the rewards yeah that come with becoming a famous comedian as opposed to hey man i just want to work out tonight yeah all i want you know right and that and when you and by the way how what's his name i love rick ingram yeah i love rick i just i can sit in the back of that fucking original room

and watch rick ingram for hours yeah he just he's so fucking good and by the way i've tried getting him a special that i would produce yeah for netflix it's like banging my head against the wall because you know the the the science of the business is is such a programmed thing it's such a predetermined thing you know we're dealing with something now where i'm putting together a show a tv show a few shows. And it used to be, and this is always, I thought the great rule and it was true. TV made stars, TV made stars. If you look at the big TV stars for years, it was because they were created on TV, not movie stars moving to TV. Well, now it's so cross-pollinated that if you want to do a show

on Hulu about a pottery shop, the lead better be a fucking star. A movie star. A movie star. Yeah. Yeah. So it's kind of like the same thing. You know, we want people that everybody knows are ready to give them a special. Right. Oh, really? You don't want to discover someone. I think the last person to be discovered was Ali Wong. I'll, I'll tell you Tiffany Haddish. No, no,

but you're Tiffany Haddish in the, in the movie. I'm sorry. Right. But then, Oh, you mean through comedy? Through comedy. Oh God.

Yeah. Probably, probably Ali. Cause that was the last special that Netflix gave to someone who was an unknown. Complete unknown. I mean, when she, when Ali got she when ali got that when when she got that special she probably couldn't sell out the or by herself no no no you know she couldn't yeah she couldn't yeah trouble drawing right oh my god shortly thereafter she's a star yeah but she's a fucking star she was selling out this is crazy when i went to when we went to montreal to promote that showtime show that i'm dying a beer show we went with jim carrey and we

sold out this they sold tickets to watch jim speak with with the cast next to him uh in in one of the like the biggest gallery theaters that they had and they said you know we've got to clear out of here by um 8 30 because there's a show here afterwards and said, who's fucking who's selling this fucking thing out? And they're like, Ali Wong. And Ali came up there. She was like, Santino. I was like, Jim Carrey just did a speech here. And we sold out.

He sold out these seats because they want to see him talk. You're the only other comic that's selling this thing the fuck out. She came from that specialist. Wow. Which proves my point. Make up. Yeah. Make stars, you Yeah, make stars.

You know, make stars. That is the way to go about it. And it's financially a better way to go about it. This whole thing of paying 15 million, which by the way, everybody expected it to all go up and- Right. Well, that was what, what's his name did with Quibi, you know, with Katzenberg. The idea was like, if you gave all these people all this money and all these stars went there wouldn't that draw the crowd but i think kids youth knows they know what they like

and they can't be fooled as easy anymore it's not they just know exactly what they're getting into before they get into it all you can do is have some stupid star some stupid like a reality fave person right put them on quibi and you're going to get the the mentally challenged young people are going to because they don't care no they don't care they don't care but the smart people that are young you're not going to fool them no no you can't well they already know what they like i knew quibi wasn't going to fail when my kids were now 20 and 25 so i'm saying 19 and 24, told me, no one that I know has downloaded the app. No one will watch that. And I'm like, done, you're done.

They're the only ones that should be interested in the app, right? By the way, that's the point. They're the only ones that should be and no interest. But being genuine, just like I you know with you doing the thing even in an audition you have a wonderful career if you're who you are and you're genuine right be fucking genuine yeah you can't well you can't you know i think that comes from where we come from too let's i'm going to take to some chicago stuff two things one it is big can they see these chicago kicks can you lift up a little bit just so the chicago bears are so cool by the way i bought four you had to this is the second one that i'm going through i've got two more because i was afraid these will never exist again and i don't know

when they won't exist again yeah no they'll go i've got two other pairs especially because the bears and they give you an orange it comes with the orange laces and they give you a pair of blue right first one i wore the blue laces. This one orange. I'm going back to the blue. Why don't you do both at the same time? Because I'm not 12. Lose your mind.

Jeff, do it. Just do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. And you got your Peyton shirt on today. Oh, yeah. I'm wearing it. By the way, someone said to me,

I love your shirt. And I was like, oh, yeah. I love it. Wonderful. It's from Roots of Fight. How many people do you think know who that is still? Sweetness or Walter Payton? Sweetness, the term sweetness.

Do you think a lot of people who don't know, you don't know who sweetness was, did you? You did? Did you? You know Walter Payton, did you know he was sweetness? Yeah, see, that's what I mean. I think people, I think a very rare amount of people. Well, I mean, Chicago.

Chicago fans, yes. He was as big as Jordan. Right. In his heyday. To my yes but he was as big as jordan right in his in his heyday to my dad he was that he was the to me he's the greatest of all time ernie banks right mr cub uh michael jordan right i mean you know and there's a few others you can mention in there you know ryan sandberg and ryan sandberg yeah yeah no there's heroes you know other you know, other, you know, heroes on the bulls, what have you. But Peyton was so much that city. Yeah, he was. And his work ethic. Unbelievable. I'll give you a good Chicago athlete story. As a kid, my parents lived next to it. They had the Michael Jordan Celebrity Golf

Classic happen at this golf course near my parents' house. And we would run there, seven bridges. And we would run over there. after school during like the practice rounds. And we were down there and what we do is we put chicken wire in the water in the DuPage River to catch golf balls, clean them and sell them back to them, right? Well, we would sell them back to them, you know, a buck a ball or whatever. And this guy goes, give me a dozen balls, kid. So I give him a dozen balls and he goes, you ought to go to your house and go get a Frank Thomas baseball card if you have one. And I said, I had gotten a Frank Thomas rookie card. A Leaf one.

Yes. Did you have a Leaf one? Yes, I have it. And I said, I got a Frank Thomas rookie card. And he goes, oh, yeah? You see that guy over there on 10 or whatever it is? He goes, that's Frank Thomas. And it was so far away.

I was like, he's not in that group. You're a liar. You're full of shit. He goes, go get the card or you'll regret it. So of course, my friends are like, just go do it. Just go do it. So I sprint to my house. I get this card. I come back. Sure enough, I've never seen this before in my life. He was alone in the golf cart and still had one leg hanging out the other side. That's how big the hurt was. Oh, he's gigantic. I've met him before. He's fucking huge. And he pulls up and and i go oh my god frank thomas i'm had to been 13 something like that yeah yeah and i said i said mr thomas

will you sign this card and he goes over and he goes all right guys like you can tell they didn't really want to be bothered right but we you know it was just three of us and he grabbed the card and he goes how did you uh how did you, how did you know, how'd you know we were going to be here? Cause it was an off day. And I said, the guy, the group in front, you know, he, he, he told me you guys are going to be here. And he goes, son of a bitch.

And he signs the rookie card, gives it back to me. He goes, you won't make that much money on it now, but someday you will. And of course I still have it signed, framed at my mom's house. By the way, that's a question. You got to keep it., framed at my mom's house. that's the question. You got to keep it. Even though I was a Cubs fan, by the way.

I am too. But you, like me, don't hate the Sox. No, why? Why would I? Why would you?

No, but plenty of Sox fans hate Cub fans. Well, that's a Southside, Northside thing. It is a Southside, Northside thing.

But that's, you know what, that's how I feel about Northern California. Like San Francisco, they hate us. We don't mind them. Yeah, that's the same relationship. LA, San Francisco, it's the exact same relationship.

San Francisco goes, fuck LA. And LA goes, you're fine. You're fine. Beautiful city. Yeah, I enjoy going up there. I enjoy going up there. By the way, that is the exact same relationship. South side of Chicago, oh, they hate us.

Hate us. And that's okay. I get it. I understand. There's plenty of people in the northern suburbs who are Sox fans. They have lots of- I have a couple of friends that are Sox fans that are Northsiders. Yeah.

And by the way, I have in my collection a red Sox hat from the early 70s. Right. Because I love Dick Allen. He was my favorite. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, look, I am diehard Cubs fan through and through. Yes. I took my dad to the World Series.

It was like the greatest thing I've ever done in my life. I wish I could have done that. My dad's dead. Thanks for bringing that up. I wanted to rub it in, by the way. And I have two dads, but I have Step and my biological, and I took them both. By the way, I love what you and Bobby talking about his dead dad. Oh my God. That was so great. Our friendship was bonded over this idea that when he relapsed and was really lost when his father died, he kind of just needed someone to like help him acknowledge the fact that like all this fakeness that he was doing, all this like, I'm fine. He called me the next day and was like, it's not that big of a deal. I was like, you're so fucking disconnected from reality.

So disconnected. But everyone around him other than his girlfriend you know who was saying the same things i was which was like dude you're snap out of it friends and other people were like i mean you know people handle it different it's like no dude you have to actually fucking handle it so i think that's really we've been friends for 13 years we became really really good friends because of that like and that's why we were able to joke about it because what are you doing with it we worked through yeah we're being real with that so that's all it is and by the way when the cubs won yeah i i didn't want to go to cleveland i didn't want to experience anything in cleveland although i'm going on my tour i'm doing hilarities

yeah uh which is a love but you're keeping that money by the way you're not going to give them that's too funny yeah no that's a lovely club and they've always been very nice no but i watched it in my basement here in los angeles and uh my my younger son my boys were with me but i weeped and it was primarily because of my dad not being able to see it but here i am seeing the cubs win a world series because i shared so many cubs memories with my father yeah so many bears and cubs well that was the bonding stuff for my dad and i was uh you know like my dad was never a big he liked the bears a lot he bulls and the blackhawks and we went to everything as a kid but um the cubs were the only one where we were that was the one where i knew we could always get on the same page about.

Like if I said, Dad, let's go to a Bulls game or a Bears game, you'd be like, ah, you know. But if it was ever a chance to go to a Cubs game, he would drop everything and go. It was the only one. Ridley is truly magical. Oh, my God, I know. That's the thing about it. It's an actual magic place that exists. Like in the middle of summer when the walls are green and I'm sitting there i literally will think to myself am i in heaven yeah this is just the vibe

and you hear the the organ it's just it's magical yeah it's it's really i mean and if you're a baseball fan it's like a whole other level yeah it's something else because people who love other teams will sit there and go, what the fuck? Yeah. This is like nothing I've ever experienced. The only thing I've come close to was my first trip to Boston. Me and the old lady went to a Red Sox game.

And I will say that is... By the way, it's the only thing you can compare it to. It's the only thing that feels similar. It is apples and oranges. Yeah. But they're uniquely apples and uniquely oranges. No, I went to the Fenway anniversary of the stadium, and they had all the players come out and managers come out from center field.

I had goosebumps the whole time. I've always liked the Red Sox because as a Cub fan, we could always understand. We had a bond. But their curse was Babe Ruth being sold to their arch rival. Our curse was a guy wanted to bring a goat. But is it the goat? All this stuff about the goat for so many years,

that is embedded in... No, I know, but the Babe Ruth curse is a real curse. It's a real curse. That's always been my thing. It's a real fucking curse. But the goat to me, it sounds like, in my mind always as a kid sounded like what any of my uncles like any chicago guy would do to get out of the would be like oh you know it's a fucking goat and you're like the goat

there's nothing to do with baseball but we were just able to put the pressure on the players that's what it was pressure yeah not one that's why I love the last out of the World Series. Chris Bryant picked up the ball and smiled. Yeah. Because he knew this shit is over. I know. Finally. Here you go, Rizzo.

Yeah. And it was just like seeing that smile, that's when it overwhelmed me. Right. Not even the throw. The smile was, there's not going to be an error. Right. There's not going to be a major screw up. It's over. I got goosebumps screw up. It's over.

I got goosebumps right now. This is over. This thing that has hung over me my whole life, my father's life, was my grandfather. My grandfather wasn't even alive when they won in 1908 was the last time. That's right, yeah. My dad was alive when they were in it the last time versus the Detroit Tigers, 1945. But 1908. The last time.

Imagine a team. I'll hear like Stanford won the world, won the basketball tournament. They haven't won since 92. Oh, how terrible. Big fucking deal. How terrible. Truly, when I hear that stuff, I'm like going, what? Why are you even mentioning it?

Why would you even mention that? You know, we're talking about lifetime, generations. Yeah. That's why the moment that we got to the series and I was so elated that I was like, we're going to go to the World Series. And I said to my wife, I said, I should buy tickets for my dad and I. And she goes, get your computer and do it now. She,

she, she was so supportive. She's like, don't even think about it. We'll buy the plane tickets. Just get on your fucking. And I was shooting at the time, uh,

the Showtime show. And she was like, put in, tell them that you'd rather miss the show and do this. And I, and I did, I told him, I was like,

I'm telling you, I might miss a day. I don't give a fuck. It was in my contract. Yeah. Yeah. And actually it's always in my contract. Well, but I's always in my contract well but i couldn't do it anymore but then i could do it and say cubs are in the world series i'm not available yeah i don't have a choice it's not it's not

it's it's the universe making me go do this it's the universe that's right and thanks theo by the way uh bye theo but thanks theo no god bless yeah god bless him he's the best yeah you have you have to take off. He's going to be the commissioner of baseball. Can't wait. He should just, he really, he could do whatever the fuck he wants at this point. He could. He could be president and show.

Tell me a better way to become president of the United States than say, I ended the curse of the Boston Red Sox and the curse of the Chicago Cubs. Me. Vote for that guy. He's got my vote. And then just go. Anything else? Yeah, that's it. In here. of the Boston Red Sox and the curse of the Chicago Cubs. Me! Vote for that guy. He's got my vote. And then just go. Anything else?

Yeah, that's it. In here, we pour whiskey. Hey, this spring, as you get back into the outdoors and you want to get some gear together to do so,

you've got to try out Bespoke Post. I love these guys. We've talked about them on the other show as well. They create this thing called the Box of Awesome. You take a little quiz

on their website. It's very simple. It's very easy. You tell them what you like and what you don't like they provided me with stuff like I got whiskey decanters and some whiskey glasses that were cool on the go I also got an outdoor bag and some connives which of course I gave to little Rudy over there on bad friends but it's got great outdoor gear and it's got this this like huge mix of stuff from cooking tools to you know hardware that you can use.

And all you have to do is take a simple quiz, a quiz that you can get no answers wrong to, my friend, okay? Don't worry about it. This isn't back in school. They're not checking your notes to see if you're cheating. You just let them know what you like, what you don't like. They provide you with this thing called the Box of Awesome, which has $70 worth of gear, and it's only $45. Extremely reasonable and very much so worth it. It's free to sign up, and you can skip a month or cancel at any time,

so there's no schemes or scams underlying what's really going on there. Go ahead and get 20% off your first monthly box when you sign up at boxofawesome.com. Enter the code WHISKEY at checkout, baby. That's boxofawesome.com. Enter the code WHIS code whiskey for 20 off your first that's who i want as my next president by the way i want theo don't think that the democrats haven't thought about that sure they have sure yeah well the republicans got a tv guy

so why wouldn't the democrats get a good tv guy you you know? And I know, and I know you don't like to talk about this at all, but you, of course, you voted for, you voted independent twice. You know, you didn't want to vote for Democrat or Republican. I know you voted for Joe Jorgensen of the, what is she, the middle green party or whatever. I know that's who you voted for. Go ahead and talk about your political views, Jeff, if you want to. Well, basically my polling place has to show one of the pirates of the Caribbean movies for me to even walk in.

Yeah. To consider it. And there was a lot of argument, like, is that legal? Is that, it is. And they most,

by the way, ironically, so as not to offend anyone, they did number two. Right. They showed a lot. They didn't want to make a strong statement, so they went right in the middle.

And then I went in, and I only voted for Jorgensen because the Olsen twins, can I be frank? Please. They come with me whenever I vote. 100%. And they just whispered in my ear at the same time. One in each. And it tickled.

One in each, and they said, Jorgensen, Green Party. Jorgensen, Green Party. They said it like that, and it tickled. One in each. And they said, Jorgensen, Green Party. Jorgensen, Green Party. They said it like that and it tickled. We'll do it more if you vote. Right. Boom. Because you- They went outside, they continued.

You say to me, being uninformed is better than being informed. I do say that to you. That's a Jeff thing to say. Can I say something to you? Yeah. I don't mean it, but I love saying that to you. Well- And by the way, I say it to you and I say it to young kids kids i go to sweden twice a year i get all the young people i can yeah i speak to them i fill

auditoriums and the last thing i say is don't get informed don't get informed don't get informed you it's not worth it little swedish bastards and they listen and say, and then one kid stood up. And by the way, white as can be, sweet, but a big black afro. Really? And he stood up. He said, Mr. Garland? And I said, yes. And he went, it's a wig! That's all.

That's the story I want to tell. I loved it because I was very confused that he had a big black afro. And he knew I was confused. He knew you, yes. And then he went, it's a wig! And I said, now you've made me informed and I don't like you. And I'm leaving Sweden immediately. Leaving Sweden immediately.

Before we start. By the way, I'm very happy if you want to ever do your podcast and everything you say about me is false. I mean, most of the things I do. Yeah, that's it. And then by the way, and then I have to justify it. I love it. It's my favorite.

By the way, Joe Jorgensen is a, is libertarian. I messed it up. She wasn't the green party. I fucked up the improv. You know what? No, you did not fuck up the improv because you act as if people really know. No, these people have no idea. Yeah.

The Olsen twins, by the way, are people that don't know. Jeff did joke about it, but you've been very close to them for a long time. You were a mentor to which one? Ashley or Barbara? Which one is it? Sheena. I'm sorry. This is the third one.

She's the oldest. She's bald. And she needed a mentor because they said, you're not blonde. Get the fuck out of here. Right. By the way, true story. I'm not going to go into the whole story. But I have spent time with Ashley Olsen, who is lovely.

I've spent a few times with her. And not dating or anything. But why? You have to say how why but i kept on calling her hey olsen twin that's all i referred to as was also because i do have a name i go i know but for me you're an olsen twin it's i'm sorry hey you chose this life not me it's a package deal it's a package deal that's that's like that phrase i can't stand that she was very sweet when she said that she goes i she wasn't like mean what did you guys shoot together it was obviously i didn't

shoot no no i i actually two um uh situations one was this strange thing at the tribeca film festival and the other one was after a broadway show we had a mutual friend in this broadway show we had a restaurant together right but she's a lovely person and um yeah but she i i didn't call her that the second time it was so much fun the first time just hey olsen twin you know i called her ashley after tell me tell me of all of the people that you've worked with on curb because you we were talking before this about how many comedians have come through or comedic actors or whatever you want to call us who's somebody that you didn't really know and didn't have experience with but uh really fucking blew you away or was really like holy shit they killed on the show and you didn't know them or didn't

know much about them no because i because i am one of the producers i know about everyone that comes on the show and i i don't there's we don is there, there's not a level of risk taking in the casting because it's improvised. And you got to make sure that somebody can do what they do. All right, who's eating shit on the show then? Who's showed up that never showed up? I cannot say, but it's not. Jeff, do it. Here's the thing.

What I love is when I approach somebody of stature that would be right for something. And I say, would you ever want to do curb? What I love is sometimes they do say to me, I'd say about a third of them. I don't improvise, man. That's not my thing. I know that's not what I do. And I love that. I love there was no ego involved. It was like, they say, I love the show. I wish I could, I can't. And then there've been people who go yeah I know and then they show me their improv in a comment I'm like oh this is to be avoided I will not mention names and then there's people you know come on there did they do just great and they don't my favorite person that I've gotten to

know doing the show who's just one of my heroes is uh uh Ted Danson yeah Ted Danson is such a dream and he is a hero of mine. Now I've worked with other people on the show that are heroes. Albert Brooks just did it, you know? Yeah. I mean, Catherine O'Hara, we talked about. Andrew Santino. Tracy Ullman's not doing it. Andrew Santino.

But Ted Danson is just, you had to have had have scenes with him I would imagine your character was around no I didn't it was me Larry and JB we're all yours by the way JB's the fucking best I mean come on he wasn't even supposed to be in the scene originally showed up was there early hanging said what's up to me and we were kind of chatting it up and then Larry was like

JB just just just walk in just enter because he had him working there so it makes sense yeah why not why not? Why not? Yeah, no, JB's a joy. Man, I love that. By the way, look, I love to make money. I love to.

Me too. But man, with what we do, joy is so important. Yeah. I know he said me too. It was funny. My girlfriend's like, they don't know that she's here. Yeah. I know he said me too.

It was funny. My girlfriend's like, they don't know that she's here. But joy is the most important thing about it. Yeah. Like when I film Curb today and it's just joyful for me. And I'm so humbled by it because I appreciate being there and appreciate being part of it because it makes me so happy. I get a bounce in my step. It's completely true. Yeah, you did come up.

The energy you came in with was so like warm and ready. But I would have done that no matter what. No, that is kind of your personality. Well, that's the way you got to be. Specifically when I see you. By the way, look, I get argued with that I'm not an old man, but fine. I'm middle-aged, upper middle-aged. Sure.

Point being is what I know this like what do you know here's what i know attitude is everything yeah attitude is everything you gotta be kind to yourself be joyful don't by the way you have friends who will say how is everything you can and if they want to discuss it yeah tell them the straight dope right tell them the straight dope but don't bring them down. But tell them, I'm having trouble with this or that. Like you and Bobby. Right.

You're like, Bobby, tell me the straight dope. Yeah. I'm here. I'm your friend. Straight dope. But in general, people don't want to hear the straight dope. No, usually not. And they've got a job to do.

You do a show. You do whatever. Just being joyful makes so many people happy yeah and there are times for a myriad of reasons that i might not be joyful on a particular day i do the best i can but man attitude is fucking well it is kind of your your way and that's the only way i kind of know you when you were running your hour at the improv, you were doing it, I think you did a couple nights in a row, right? And I was there and me and Rogan were there

and he was doing like a Rogan and Friends show on the lights or whatever. Right, right, right, right, right. But I remember that you were pretty smooth and even keeled even though you were running that. And I know when I run stuff like that, I'm not, it's really difficult for me to be even. I'm usually kind of in my head and I don't want to talk to anybody.

And I really, I'm not so pleasant. I'm not mean, but I'm kind of like. No, you got a job to do. Yes. And you still had a good, a way about you that was, it's honestly, it's impressive. I wish I had more of that in me because sometimes the brain will get ahead of, you know, the action. Well, maybe when you get older and maybe when you've

done it i'm not being saying this no no yeah no maybe when you get funny like me yeah yeah but maybe in in time you'll do that by the way i aspire now having done this for 38 years and being joyful and also i improvise so much on stage including in my special yeah it's on netflix our Man in Chicago. Watch it right now. Stop this right now and go over there and watch it. They don't promote it. I know.

So you got to, anytime you can. No, they really don't. And I'm still very proud of it. It's still exactly what I do. It captures what I do. But I am, as I get older now, looking towards really being more precise and having an act that I do because I don't want to rely on, I mean, I'm always going to improvise, but as I get older, I don't know that I can go up and make up an hour physically or mentally. And I'm being

totally sincere. I mean, I don't see the immediate future being a problem. Right. But who's to say I'm 58? Who's to say when I'm in my late 70s that I'm like, you know, I can't do this anymore. So I want to build up a set that I pull out of, add to, pull out of, add to. Until you feel like you're, I mean, until you reach a point when, and I don't know when this is, this is my, like I think I die when I stop, when I want to stop doing standup. That to me is the biggest fear. If I have the vibe in me, that's like, I don't want to do it anymore. That's when I feel like when somebody retires and they say they slowly die. Let's say that comedy, look, I got to tell you,

it's a challenge for me. Show business right now, the way show business is, it's a challenge for me to get motivated unless I have a creative idea from the standpoint of what show business is now is not what I signed up for. It's not why I went into comedy. What did you sign up for? I signed up to comedy. I'm closer to when I started is closer to the Magnificent Mrs. Maisel than it is to what goes on now. Right. You know, and when I go to the comedy store, a great deal of people bring me dread. Like, I don't want to see you.

What you do isn't comedy to me. I don't know why you're here. You're here because you want to be famous. Right. And it's just everything, you know, look, I am depressed by social media, but it is part of what we do. And by the way, the only thing that I enjoy, only thing, in terms of all the things that go with it, are podcasts. Yeah. Because podcasts gives you a chance to really dig.

Do you know how depressing doing The Tonight Show is for me? And I'm not picking on the tonight show all of them yeah because you're up there and it's over and you're like really i did all this for that and then the next day no one's seen it yeah unless whatever you did can be on youtube for a pullout thing you know right a clip they need a clip. A little clip. Yeah. That's where it tracks. Yeah. And that's not me. I like, I go on YouTube and I deep dive on the Dick Cabot show. Yeah. I watch everyone from Muhammad Ali to I was watching Michael Caine today with Larry.

You know, and people react, people are, I'm a raconteur. I love sitting and talking. Right. I love it. I'm sorry if i've talked too much during your thing you've talked a perfect amount all right well we have it we guys right here vote down below has he talked too much there's a i love that if you like it click here click down below follow us now tell me this do you ever do you look back on your career do you

ever regret all of the times you did blackface you regret perfect perfect with the water i waited i waited oh my god you don't regret it though huh it's just how could you do blackface ever and not even when it makes sense like i i know there's dark moments where Robert Downey regrets it, even though that was funny as shit. Funny as shit. Oh, my God. That was perfect.

And it was done with the right attitude that he was a douchebag actor who wanted a Academy Award. He'd gone full out. He goes, you never want to go full on retirement. Anyhow, but the point being is that was hysterical. But, boy, if he did that today. They'd him they'd kill him and it's just we live in this that's another thing i didn't sign up for political correctness i love respecting people sure and by the way i have i have a nephew that was in second city and he's doing a scene with someone who is physically a woman. That's what I'll say. Right.

Improvising. When they got off, he, she was, he, whatever, was so mad at him for referring to her as a woman. Because she wanted to be referred to as a they. Whatever it was. You don't know. Right. How could you know? But the point is, set those boundaries. If I work with someone and they want me to call them he, she, Barnaby,

King Jehoshaphat, guess what? I'm in. Sure. And I will show you the utmost respect. But we're living in a time that you're supposed to know this and better and you cover your bases. Fuck that, man. Fuck that. Political correctness, fuck that. Being respectful of other people, beautiful. You should. You should. That's human nature. that. Being respectful of other people, beautiful. You should. You should. That's human nature. But you can't expect other people to know what's going on with you.

What's going on? What's your inner monologue? There was a guy that I went up to and I was totally sincere. He was working in a food place. And I said, is your man bun, like, do you like that? Or are you doing it because you're behind the counter? Like, what's the reason? like do you like that or are you doing it because you're behind the counter like what's the reason he said to me in a very hurtful manner yeah i refuse to be identified with my hair i go what

are you talking about don't identify i was completely confused right then i understood man bun and then i said well what do you want me to call and then i said i'm only asking you sincere questions but i'll leave you alone and he was angry angry at me. And he was, he was furious at me. This was in Chicago, by the way. Really? Yeah. I don't want to say where, I know I'm always doing that. I know. I want to know in case the guy still works there. I don't want it. Cause I didn't complain. And I told him when I left later, I said, I never wanted to hurt your feelings. And I'm sorry if it ever came to that. And just, just know that. Right. Cause I didn't i didn't but that's not that's all you can do that's all you can do there's nothing else by the way he wasn't like don't worry about

it he was like thank you yeah no and it's like it was a panera bread on ohio by the way that it's like with all the things now the political correctness i think it's a lot of squeaky wheel shit of course so we're more scared of just because people but it's not the majority and i do think the majority of people want to be respectful and are okay with stuff right you know so i have no issues with anyone's thing except for something that's truly against the law right right other than that other than that and by the way things that were that are accepted now uh weren't like you know uh anal sex in the it might even be against the law some places shut the fuck up obviously that's wrong but i'm talking

about with common sense right if you're not breaking a law have at it right enjoy i i got nothing i do think anal sex should be against the law but that's just a personal gripe i have with the whole you don't have a penis that's exactly right so you, but that's just a personal gripe I have with the whole thing. Well, you don't have a penis. That's exactly right. So you're jealous. That's exactly correct. Okay, well, I understand that. Well, and I'm allowed to stand on that hill. By the way, can I be honest with you? Yeah. I no longer have a penis.

Really? I removed it about two weeks ago. Just said, get the fuck out of here. Sick of it. It walked away. It on its own? On its own. It's got two legs.

I didn't even know this. Wow. My penis walked away, and now I'm jealous of any activity with a wiener. Do you have any idea of where it went? Spain from what I hear South of Spain

there's a plane of penises that goes to Spain once a week from LAX I know it yeah it's a 1030 AM

I know it it's a 1030 AM filled with dicks yeah and it always Barcelona sorry it's always Barcelona

Barcelona I had heard this I didn't know for sure yeah it's a there's a couple of sites about it in fact guys click right here down below

this is the site there it's penises2spain.com and sign up if you're looking to get rid of your penis mine of course is still here in the Southern California area oh really

mocking you yeah found a nice place in Orange I mean at least mine mine went to Spain right Zygazunt

yeah have a good time. I get it. But your penis is still in the LA area. That's not good. And purchased property, no less, which I think is a little rubbing it in my face. Oh, fuck that penis. I know. Fuck that penis. I know. And I don't mean that as a joke. I understand. Right. My God, I'm sorry. That's fine. Yeah, fuck it. Jeff, you've had what some would call the greatest career known to man. Some would. Some would. Some would.

Some would call it. Our local garbage men have said to me, you have the greatest career. Tell me the moment, not going to give you a cheesy question, but tell me the moment, tell me a moment in your career that you actually felt like oh this is going to be it for the rest of my life oh that i can tell you i knew i saw jimmy duranty the comedian when i was eight years old downtown uh downtown chicago my parents took me i looked around when the show was going on i'm watching him watching the people laugh and mind you at eight years old i was the funniest kid in school right and i asked my parents on the way home if that was a job.

They said it was. I said, that's a job that I want because I didn't know it was a job. Right. And I was a kid who watched comedians on the Ed Sullivan show, the Tonight Show, the Flip Wilson show. I was talking with Albert Brooks. I've seen him as a kid on the Flip Wilson show. Yeah.

And it blowing my mind. No, I knew that. I thought you were going to ask me when I knew I was successful. No, no. I want to know the moment that people realize it's the thing. Because I used to sneak out of my crib

as a kid and watch Carson. Seriously, I did. Oh, you did? Yes. I love that. My mom. But that's why we're brothers. Yes.

Don't you get that? Yeah, no, I know. That's why we're doing what we have to do. We're doing what we're meant to do. Right. And there are not a lot of us. I know. That's why we're doing what we have to do. We're doing what we're meant to do. Right. And there are not a lot of us. There's a lot of people, especially now, like when I started in comedy, I was 20 years old. And I can tell you, because I've gone over it, I think there were four others my age in the United States. That were doing it. That were doing it when I was 20. Wow. Now, 20 years old doing comedy, there's easily 400.

Oh, my God. Maybe more. Maybe more, yeah. I mean, you know. And there was, do you know the next oldest person that I knew doing comedy? We started together, Brian Regan. I was 20, he was 24. And I remember thinking, he's so old.

I swear I thought that about him. But I want to say, because I like telling this, the moment that I knew that, oh my God, I'm successful. What was that? He was a mentor of mine, a friend of mine. Harold Ramis, a famous director and writer. Groundhog Day, one of the Ghostbusters. And he asked me to lunch. And we're going to lunch. We'd had lunch before, but I'm always so excited to hang with Harold. And he asked me a favor, a show business favor. And I drove home and went, Harold Ramis just asked me a show business favor.

Well, can you share we want to develop this one show right and he wanted me to show him and help him get a show made a tv show made wow and i drove home going are you fucking kidding me harold ramis who since i'm probably because first time i saw him was on sctv he had a lot of small parts he did. But Ghostbusters, all this stuff meant so much to me. Caddyshack. Caddyshack. Oh, yeah. He directed it. Yeah.

So, I mean, Caddyshack meant the world to me. So, holy shit. That was the moment where I went, wow! Wow! Look at that! I couldn't believe it. I was just in shock. Yeah.

Harold Ramis needs a favor from me. And I helped him, you know. Of course. And that show was Friends. Did it pan out? No. It was Friends with a Q. Oh.

Because there was already the Friends show. I understand. I said, just put a Q in front. Right. No F. Q Friends. No, not Q Friends. Quins.

Quins. But pronounce it Friends. Like a French version of Friends. Yeah. And it starred Richard Kind. Cue Friends. No, not Cue Friends. Crens. Crens. But pronounce it Friends. Like a French version of Friends. Yeah, and it starred Richard Kind. Love Richard Kind. And a poodle. Just them two. That's it.

It's kind of like a new Turner and Hooch type of thing. It was, well, actually, the subtitle was Old Turner and Hooch. Older. Oldest Turner and Hooch. It might have been successful. We went with oldest. You should have called me. Turner and Hooch.

It might have been successful. We went with oldest. You should have called me. It was called Crens, pronounced friends, starring Richard Kind and the Poodle. And the Poodle didn't have a name. I thought that was a problem bringing people in. Sure. I mean, you can't sell tickets on that.

It's a great show. I'm being serious. Yeah. A show that was on FX called Terriers was the greatest fucking show. But you wonder, I remember a friend of mine who was on it. She said, please watch me. I'm in this news. She sent an email out, a new show called Terriers.

Well, I merely thought of some reality show about terrier dogs. No, it was like a detective show. And it was fantastic. What happened? It was called Terriers. It got canceled. It's got a bomb.

Nobody, it ain't it. No, it did. And by the way, because of the name, Donald Logue. Yeah. Really? Yes. It was a great, he and I have discussed it.

The greatest show with the worst fucking X-E. And you know, the worst name of any television show ever was actually a hit. And that's According to Jim. Yeah. According to Jim is truly truly in my eyes the worst name for a tv show it sounds like a network uh specifically said that's the name we want for the show yeah they go we need to have a call according to jim there's no other way around what's going on well according to jim according to jim what's he saying can i say i hated that i played golf with

richard kind a few times we became kind of buddies. Did you play over at... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. And let me tell you something. Yeah. I love Richard. He's been one of my dearest friends, Second City. Yeah. But he's on Curb. He plays Larry's cousin.

And he's on the Goldbergs. He now plays my partner in my business. He's the most worked guy I've ever met in Hollywood. He works constantly. No, he does. And we were golfing. And I'll tell you one thing I learned about Richard. I liked him before i met him because i was a fan of who he was right then we started golfing together then we became kind of came buddies while he was here

from new york um and i will tell you remarkably competitive like like like like oh golf like unbelief like well because richard people that knowbearable to be honest he's very like he's very lazy going and very smooth can I play golf with you I don't think so I don't think so no that's not going to work today he's so competitive though

and he doesn't you don't feel it when you meet some people when you you feel it when you meet them he doesn't have that vibe but then when we were out there man did he get competitive it just turns the switch

it was wild yeah he's a character he punched the caddy he punched the caddy the caddy. He punched the caddy. The caddy said to... By the way, if that was true, nobody would enjoy that more. If he's dealing with a lawsuit from Crunchy, I really didn't hit him. It was a tap on the shoulder.

I said, what is my lie? Right. And he said, go fuck yourself. And I cold cocked him. All right, I let it out. I didn't tap him on the shoulder. I cold cocked him. I hit him when he wasn't. I didn't tap him on the shoulder. I cold cocked him. I hit him when he wasn't looking.

No, he's a very competitive, sweet guy. And he doesn't like cuss words, by the way. He doesn't like it because people were swearing. And he says, don't work blue. He always said that. Don't. He's like, sugar. Come on, sugar.

He doesn't like. I asked him. You actually sold that. Huh? I believe that. I was like going, I didn't know he was going to work blue. I believed you. You just, going, I didn't know he was a black bookie, but I believed you. You just, you did it just for him.

Yeah, no, he's got That's an acting lesson. He's got a brilliant mind. You don't need a spin. Just be who you are and give out the information. Yeah, just let it sit. Just set out, you can give any piece of information you want, and if you just say it, people are going to go,

you know, and if you're on, if you're say it, people are going to go, you know, and if you're on, if you're filming, they're really going to believe because you're playing a character. Well, like this, this is interesting. I read this the other day.

Paramedics, EMTs, they check for a male pulse. If they find a body in your wrist to find your pulse, in your neck, and if they cannot find it in there, they will, you'll check your penis, underneath your neck. And if they cannot find it in there, you'll check your penis, underneath your penis.

You said male? Oh, yeah, because he has male pulses. Yes. You're going towards the penis. I was like, what's the difference? So they'll check your wrist, your neck. Have you ever heard this? No, because it's not true.

But if I say it like that, it almost becomes... By the way, I believed it completely. 100%. And I thought to myself, my mom was right about wearing clean underwear. Which, by the way, I believed it completely. 100%. And I thought to myself, my mom was right about wearing clean underwear. Which, by the way, whose mom says clean underwear? Wear clean underwear, Jeff. I don't wear underwear.

By the way, do you have to be told to wear clean underwear? Yeah, in what world? Oh my God. Like, you know what's funny? My dad was a military kid, so our whole house was, I mean, it was strict as fuck. So showering or keeping clean, not an issue for me. Never was I ever a dirty kid.

Oh, right. You can't be. How could I? You can't be. How could I? Your dad used to watch me shower. Well, that's, yeah. And I would do what I would do.

Cameras. No, no, no, no, no. I freaked him out. He'd say, get in the shower. Now. Now. And I said, you talk to Andrew this way. He goes, you bet.

But I don't have to. He's always clean. You know what I would do in the shower now now and i said you talk to andrew this way he goes you bet but i don't have to he's always clean you know what i would do in the shower i'd have a butter churn in there and i churned butter in the shower and that's where you got your fresh butter from as a family really your daddy would watch me shower i'd give him butter we would eat butter on everything i know because i made i gave you watch me shower so much right that i gave him so much butter right that's how your family ate butter and that's why we wrote the movie porkies guys pick up porkies right now on dvd or blu-ray at the local where do people buy stuff anymore by the way a family that eats butter together makes a teen comedy from the 80s that's exactly right well what jeff what was um

what was the teen comedy or what was the youth comedy for you? Oh, no, it's Porky's. That you wish you could have been in as a kid. Oh, Animal House is what my dream would have been to be in. And to know a lot of those people and know Harold. Yeah. You know, oh, come on. By the way, the Belushi documentary that was on Showtime, fantastic too.

Loved it. Well, speaking of which, let's go back for two seconds. Jim Belushi, not John, who people, I don't know if even some of the audience will know the difference. But Jim's show, according to Jim, made him a multi-multi-millionaire. Did he deserve it? You want my honest answer? Yeah. No.

Go ahead. No, I don't have my honest answer? Yeah. No. Go ahead. No, I don't have to expound. Yeah, okay. I do. I think anyone responsible for according to Jim should not get paid anything. That money should be turned over to any orphanage or any food bank. Okay, I'm going to tell you another fact. The fact you asked me that seriously.

Is this a true story? What's that? Get that seriously is this a true story what's that get ready is this a true story uh steve mcqueen yes used to did you read that that that steve stop it hold it did you read the recent one i did how awesome was that i mean he's the coolest guy but then you find out at the end that it's that it's an april fool's joke i thought this is the best april fool's day joke ever ever because you're reading it going god damn do i love steve mcqueen yeah and then at the end you're like oh fuck not real not real but did he take did steve mcqueen you can answer yes or no too did steve mcqueen take clothes from every single film he was on and donate them to orphanages when it was when it My gut feeling that I would, I don't know the answer to that, but I would say yes.

What do you say? Yeah? That's a real story. Yeah. No, I was about to say, I love McQueen. You know why? Why? Because he was in an orphanage as a kid, right?

For a short period of time. Was he in Boys Town when he was a kid? In- Oklahoma or wherever? Yeah. I'm just saying. No, no, no. He was. It was Oklahoma. I do believe that story because- It's true. It's true. But I know he was. It was Oklahoma.

I do believe that story. It's true. Because that sounds like that dude. But you know, they used to talk shit about him, right? So the union, the wardrobe union, whatever, they didn't like that he would take the clothes. They thought he was being selfish and they had no idea he was donating the clothes because he knew Warners or whoever was keeping it. And and he was like what the fuck are they doing the clothes when they're done guess what yeah all my curb wardrobe donated to a charity in new york that helps men

who who are have penises that went to spain penises that don't have a throbbing penis and i don't want this is not to give me credit no i want to but I do know that it fucking sits there. I do know I get a new wardrobe every year. And so my garage and part of my deal was I got the wardrobe after. And all it was doing was sitting in boxes in my garage. This year, I sent it out to a place in New York. I wish I could remember the name where they give clothes to gentlemen to do job interviews so they feel good about themselves and mine was all suits right I'm sure there were a lot of heavy set guys like that and yeah it felt so good to do that yeah you know what I believe that yeah totally cool but it's you would do it it's like well yeah because you realize as you go along in this

business the amount of well waste is number one like the business waste shit that you're like what happens to all that stuff and they're like oh fucking nothing and you're like what you can't you don't want to this is you so it already got paid for right so then it's just going to sit in a fucking storage unit for the rest of time you see that all the time it but that stuff blows my mind when you hear and you're like oh they didn't want to wear it so we can't uh yeah but that that to me sounds like steve mcqueen right a hero man but that interview that just came out i don't even know where it was i saw it on your flipboard on your uh uh the flipboard's like an app yeah yeah on the phone fantastic you can you have whatever kind of stories what you're interested in and they plop on and uh

uh i saw this and i'm like loving it i said to sarah i go holy shit this is the best interview i've ever read in my life you know him telling the guy you're full of shit i need real people and and just everything that he was saying i'm like going yeah steve m Steve McQueen didn't hold back. He knew it was his last movie. He knows he's dying. He's not holding back. And then at the end, April Fool's. But I appreciated it because someone put work into it. Someone tried.

Okay, so the Rich Eisen show. Yeah, I love Rich. I do too. Best guy. Best guy. I fucking texted him that morning because his show on their website said that the bears had acquired uh russell uh wilson from the seattle yeah and i'm like i thought we didn't and wow they have the thing on it and then it then you found out it's april fools well it was his fucking uh social media guy and i go

what's funny about that see i actually now look now look at April Fool. As a sports journalist, that's tough. Well, no, but Rich goes, I had nothing to do with this. Sure. Didn't know it was happening. And it was so, all these Bear fans are on the Instagram thing going, fuck you, fuck you. And I went on the show and ripped the guy and told him, look over your shoulder. Yeah. Which is true.

They're going to kill you. No, no matter if killing, I'm going to get that guy so good. He's not going to know what it is. I am going to fool him. Well, are you happy with Andy Dalton? Is that a selection that you're- Oh, stop it. Don't even do that on this show.

You said we weren't going to get negative. Don't do that. That's not right. I'm going to spin it in a positive way. Ready? Okay, yeah. I'm so excited as a Chicago Bears fan to have a redheaded quarterback in Chicago, Illinois. I knew that was coming, you fucker.

I knew that was coming. What other way could I look at it? By the way, you can't. Yeah. You have to. And by the way, he's a good quarterback. That's enough of that. He's just not better than good.

That's enough. And he's not. He's just good. Fine. He's always been good. Fine. I think he's actually better than fine. He's had a very nice career.

Sure. He made the Pro Bowl. No, he's good. But he is not He's had a very nice career. Sure. Made the Pro Bowl. No, he's good. But he is not what to lead a team to the promised land. Here's the trouble about coming to Chicago. And everyone knows. And Javi Baez said this. Chicago is the toughest fun city to play in.

Because, you know, the fans are fucking ruthless. They're mean as shit. You know, they're mean even when you're doing well. Yeah, but they respect you. But they support the fuck out of you so even in chicago andy dalton's first day getting drafted i saw a meme that went up some bar on the north side had a sign that said come try our whiskey our jacket jack and ginger our whiskey ginger it's a it's a it's the it's a lot better than the other ginger we just got in this city. Oh, God. Right away.

Right away. I mean, they're ruthless. No, but by the way, it's just all, it's a bunch of crap. By the way, another thing people need to know about Chicago, we're talking about love of the Cubs. Your father's love of the Cubs, and I love the Cubs and Bulls, Blackers, all you, but the most popular team in Chicago is the Bears. Yeah, by far.

It's like you can put all the others together. Right. Even during the Michael Jordan thing, he was the most popular athlete, but the Bears are the, they run Chicago and they live and die by the Bears. And the Bears have been bad now. And making the playoffs with a mediocre team, holy shit. Since I was born, they were bad. I mean, I shouldn't say that.

We went to the Super Bowl. I suggest bring your girlfriend. Yeah. When you do a podcast. My wife was born, they were bad. I mean, I shouldn't say that. We went to the Super Bowl. I suggest bring your girlfriend when you do a podcast. My wife. Yeah, my wife. Your wife. And watch her. Be on her phone. Yeah.

And watch her. Check her watch. Yeah. It's so fun that you're so happy you brought her that she's just looking like, oh, this is- How bad is this for you? Is this that bad that you can't- I don't know what I'm thinking.

What? What are you thinking? The dogs. The dogs. Yeah. So I do have to go. Wait, wait, wait, I don't know what I'm thinking. What? What are you thinking? The dogs. The dogs, yeah. So I do have to go. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. No. How old are the dogs?

They're... They'll figure it out. Well, by the way, they will figure it out. They'll go, I'm just going to go here, but they're such good... When I was 11, I could be left home alone. So I think the dogs are fine. I have a dog at home as well. No, you are taking the dogs, and I will give you that.

But there's no excuse for you looking at your phone three times. Even to your assistant. Yes. All right. Well, shut out the outside world when you're in, what if I, what if that was the rule? What a weird relation. Yeah. What a horrible thing. You look at me the whole time I'm on a podcast. Yeah. You stare at me in my eyes and then every once in a while and go, you're great. at me in my eyes and then every once in a while and go, you're great. Oh, shut up, it is. I did notice you on the phone, but I did assume that you were on with Holly. We'll be right back with counseling, relationship counseling here with Andrew Santino. Okay, look, I do want to say thank you very much. I'm going to take two seconds real fast. I love you very much. I appreciate this wholeheartedly. You meant a lot to me,

what you did over at Curb. And we end the episode the same way every time. You look in the camera. I'm going to walk away. I'm going to say one word. You say one word or one phrase when I'm off camera. It's going to end the episode and it's how everyone's going to remember you. So make it count. When I go off camera, one word or one phrase into the camera

when you're ready, okay? So you said phrase, so it can be one word or one phrase, the camera when you're ready. Okay. All right. My bad. And so you said phrase, so it can be one word or one phrase, but it's going to, that's what we're doing. Chantilly Cock Rogers. Now here's the one that's ridiculous. Take what you do seriously. Don't take yourself seriously. And by the way, I did know that I reversed, which was ridiculous and which was serious in here we pour whiskey whiskey whiskey whiskey you are that creature in the ginger beard sturdy ginger like vampires the ginger gene is a curse gingers are beautiful you owe me five dollars for

the whiskey seventy-five dollars for the horse Gingers are hell no. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers.