Whiskey Ginger with Andrew Santino - Joe List

Episode Date: August 18, 2023

On the show by popular demand Norm MacDonald's favorite comic Joe List! They talk about Morgan Wallen's N Werd bump, how embarrassing dreams really are, Joe talks about his favorite Jewish recording artist, and what he would use his clone for. It's a fun time folks! His new special "JOE LIST: ENOUGH FOR EVERYBODY" drops tonight at 10pm! #joelist #andrewsantino #whiskeyginger #podcast ========================================== SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS BETTER HELP Get the help you need from a licensed professional 10% off your first month https://betterhelp.com/whiskey AURA FREE 14 DAY TRIAL https://aura.com/whiskey ========================================= Follow Andrew Santino: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ https://twitter.com/CheetoSantino Follow Whiskey Ginger: https://www.instagram.com/whiskeyging... https://twitter.com/whiskeyginger_ Produced and edited by Joe Faria IG: @itsjoefaria Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What up, Whiskey Ginger fans? Welcome back to the show. If it's your first time joining the show, welcome to the show! We got a good one for you today. Like my man Steve Harvey done say, it's Joe List. Joe List, a great New York comic, a great actor, great writer, great comic, has a special out right now. Please go check it out. We love Joe List. It's available right now. Click on the link in the description down below. Joe List. It's available right now. Click on the link in the description down below. Like Roddy Rich doesn't say down below. Check out Joe List. We love him. He's also on tour. Go check him out. I'm on tour in the fall, baby. Come see me and Bobby Lee on the road. Go to badfriendspod.com, badfriendspod.com to see that. Chicago, Denver, Milwaukee, Madison, New York, Cleveland, Pittsburgh, D.C. We're all over the place.

Go to badfriendspod.com. Badfriendspod.com. Enough rambling from the old redhead. Let's go to the episode. In here, we pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey. You're that creature in the ginger beer. Sturdy ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse.

Gingers are fugitive. You owe me $ ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are beautiful. You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse. Gingers are hell no. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers. All right, is it recording on all of them? In focus on all of them, kiddo?

All right, we'll see. Hey, Joe. Joe's my editor. Say hi to Joe into that camera right there.'ll see. Hey, Joe. Joe's my editor. Say hi to Joe into that camera right there. Oh, there's another Joe. Yeah, there's another Joe. He was just here actually 10 minutes

before you were here. Yeah, he didn't want to meet you. Did not like you. I wanted to meet Joe so bad. He said he's a fan of your comedy but not of you as a guy. Wow. Which I think is very specific.

Yeah, my wife says the exact opposite. Oh, no. I think so, Gray, but the stand-up. I bounce bits, and she's like, nah, sucks. I love you, and let's get started. Use that part, Joe, by the way, because it's gold. Anytime a guy's letting us know how much his wife hates him,

we like it on this show. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Wistia Junior. My guest today is one of my favorite people on Earth. I say that for all my guests, but let me say it once again today. It's Joe List. Yeah. Joe List. Yeah. Joe List. Yeah.

Joe List is in the house. I disrespectfully did not have him on the show last time. You f***ed me. Bad. And I said, I don't want this guy in my studio. I got caught up in the scheduling, so I told you I am so sorry about that. It's all right. And now I have you here.

So I told you I am so sorry about that. It's all right. And now I have you here. And I'm happy that you came because we ran into each other in Phonics in Tempe at the Improve. The last place that I saw Mitch Hedberg before he died. Oh, wow. Yeah, I went to school at ASU. And I saw him there. And it was a terrible, terrible show.

Terrible. Because he was just laced up out of his mind. I often ask people when I would go to clubs who who's the toughest person to work with, who sucks to work, who's an asshole, and a lot of people, they said he wasn't an asshole, but they said Mitch Hedberg was one of the toughest people to work with. Yeah, because he was probably just never there. Yeah, I think he went short or long

or late or whatever. I never met him. And had really weird requests. No, I mean, I never met him either. How old are you? We're kind of the same age, yeah? Yeah, I think so. I'm 41. Yeah, I'm 40 this year. He was... Yeah he i was in college when he had done what he's doing his last shows right and i remember it being like you know i had seen so many comics there when i was in college uh and i was like obsessed with comedy at the time but like secretly doing that thing where people were like are you ever gonna do it and i'm like no you know but i was like lying because i

just didn't want anybody to know. Yeah, yeah. Because I didn't want anybody to use it against me and be like, you're never going to fucking make it. Well, dreams are embarrassing. They're so embarrassing. You don't want to tell people. I want to sing.

They're so embarrassing. We were just talking. I was talking to Henry Phillips about this. You must know Henry. Yeah. One of my favorite people ever. Yeah. Like, he started off as like a singer.

And he is a singer. He's a comedic singer. But like, the idea of, as hard as it is to be a comic and come out as a comedian, the idea of being like, Andrew, check out this thing I just wrote that, I love you so much. My friends would beat me up. Yeah, immediately.

I kind of wanted to hit you when you started singing. Yeah, it's bad. I thought about it. And so God bless Jackson Brown and all these, James Taylor, all these people that just had enough whatever to be like, I don't care how many people call me a homo. I'm going to do it.

It's impressive. It is. And I'm grateful for them. I love it. That's all I listen to now is like Avett Brothers and like really, I need people with like skinny pants and fedoras to tell me how I feel. I like this. So you're stuck in that era. You like that era the most musically.

Yeah. Well, I like a lot of stuff. I mean, I rock still. But the older I get, the less I'm like. Not the way you just said that. I don't believe it for a heartbeat. Well. I rock still?

I mean, I will. You sound like my stepdad trying to sell me on. No, I'll go to a rock show. Morgan Wallen is good. We rock with Morgan. Dude, it's so f***ing crazy you just brought this guy up. Can I tell you a story? Yeah.

So, not a story, but I guess it's a story. Morgan Wallen, I've never heard of this man in my life. My sister texted me and said, my niece is going off to college this year. And she said, hey, do you have an in? Because she knows I have an agent and a manager who can sometimes get us tickets to things. She goes, do you have an in for Morgan Wallen tickets?

I want to give it to your niece as a going away present. And I never heard of this guy. So I thought it was going to be like at the House of Blues or something. And I was like coming right up. And I messaged my agent. I just looked online. He's doing three shows at Fenway Park.

Yeah. Like he's bigger than Springsteen. Yeah, he's huge. Never heard of the guy. And then so just today, my agent sent me a thing being like, here you go. But it was two tickets at face value. I thought I was getting free tickets. And they were like 300 bucks.

So now I'm like $700 in on my niece and we're too far in to tell my agent because he's been working on this to be like, never mind. I don't want them. So now I just bought my sister and niece $700 Morgan Wallen tickets. Wow. They're $350 a pop? They're like $295

with a fee and that's face value. Like on Ticketmaster or StubHub, they're like $900. I never heard of this man. It's amazing. He did two shows at Petco. This is the guy that said the N-word. Yeah.

He said the N-word on Accident Drunk. Well, that's why I like him. Yeah. I didn't like him. His music is shit. But the N-word clip, I thought, this guy is my guy. I can get on board with this. But apparently they tried to like cancel the guy publicly.

You know, like it was like a big backlash, blah, blah, blah. And then he just played Petco. I think he did two shows in San diego at petco park yeah and the same radio station a country radio station down there that was like shaming him they did a whole week dedicated to him the week that he did the shows they renamed their channel like the wall wall wall an hour or whatever and it's it's just so funny it's like that like, that is the that is the scope exactly of what canceling people are. It's like, livid, livid, livid.

He's coming and we're going to make money off him. We kind of like him, like him, like him. Like, let's get him back in our good graces because we're going to make a lot of money. Two shows at Petco. It's nuts. And they sponsored it. It's crazy. Yeah, it's all silly. I mean, Roman Polanski won Best Director in 2002. Like, standing O. Woohoo! Like, they loved it. Yeah, it's all silly. I mean Roman Polanski won best director in 2002 like standing. Oh

They loved it. It's crazy. Oh funny. Someone told me a story. I think it was It might I forget what comic it was but somebody told me a story like second I think my man Alan havey it was secondhand. He heard a story from someone else that was at a Hollywood party and There was a few guys Polanski one of them maybe whoever Nicholson and Bruce Dern or somebody, whoever, whatever people. And they were like, look at that girl. That girl looks so young. And somebody was like, she looks 15.

And Polanski looked at her for like an extended period of time and went, 14. He like eyeballed her and was like, no, no, you're four months ahead. And I was like, that's really creepy. Like the people that guess your weight at the carnival. He does that. He's just on it. But I mean, circumst was like, that's really creepy. Like the people that guess your weight at the carnival. He does that. He's just on it. But I mean, circumstantial evidence, but very creepy. He knows right away.

He goes, look at her knees. You can tell that's 14 year old knees. I know when I see them. Yeah. They, uh, going back to the Morgan Wallen guy, they tried to cancel him. Now he's selling more tickets than ever, which is of course like the response that everybody would expect when the guy who sings country music says the N-word, for some reason they were like, we're going to get him.

And his fans were like, I like him so much more now than I ever liked him before. Yeah, we're good. He was going to do one show at Fenway. Now he's doing three. At Boston, you think people at Boston don't like the N-word? It's part of their vocabulary. It's the N-word bump. The N-word bump?

Remember the N-word bump that he got? Yeah, that was something special, man. Yeah, I saw all this news about him just recently. I don't know who he is really, and I never heard of him until the news about him selling out all these baseball stadiums is going around. Look, I just did this tour with Burt, and playing outside, to me, would only be easy if you were a musician because it doesn't really matter there's no call and response needed right at the

end of the song they get to clap right and they will anyway but doing these outdoor venues like we did 15 000 seats at the gorge in washington which i'm wearing now i think and it was amazing but you feel i talked to norman about it you feel so anxious because you're like it doesn't sound great yeah it can't you'll never hear laughter as loud as clapping and yelling right so when you first get out there it's like and you're like oh my god yeah and then your first couple of jokes it's like oh no it sinks in your chest it It's outside venues. They're tough.

I know some comics love them. I just, I can't do it. No, it doesn't seem fun. I mean, I haven't done an outdoor gig in quite a while. And it was probably a college in like 2006. Or COVID. Did you guys have COVID outdoor gigs? Oh, yeah. God, I fucking blacked out COVID.

Yeah, I did a lot of, I don't know what I'm talking about. Like rooftop gigs. I did like 300 outdoor gigs two years ago. I'm an idiot. But they were small, right? At least it's like when they're. But they were small, right? At least it's like when they're outdoor and they're closed, you can see and hear all of it.

This was so big that there are people on the lawn that are legitimately 400 yards away where you're like, how do they hear me? Yeah, I don't understand how that works as an audience member. I think you're just like... Well, it's an experience. Yeah, yeah, the experience is great, but it's hard to like... It's electric in here with laughter. Yeah think you're just like, it's an experience. Chuckling. Yeah. Yeah. The experience is great, but it's hard to like, it's electric in here with laughter.

Yeah. You're never going to get, I mean, Bert definitely got it because it's his fans. Hardcore. Like he definitely got those roles that were, it was incredible. And you know,

the rest of us like big J and everybody did great, but like the difference is he did get the role because they're so excited to see that guy. They're like, they're so enthusiastic. It's like they're, they can't wait. And poor Stavi, in the middle of Stavi's set, a guy passed out. So he had to stop the show.

15,000 people are like silently looking on, and they carry this guy out on a stretcher. And the whole time, you know, we can see him from the side stage, and this poor bastard is like, I can walk. I can walk. And everybody's laughing, and they're like, let him walk, let him walk. And the paramedics are like, no, you don't get to. And he's like, I can walk i can walk and everybody's laughing and they're like let him walk let him walk and the paramedics like no you don't get that he's like i can walk please let me walk and stop in the middle of it goes why couldn't this have happened during santino set and i'm on the side stage just like losing i felt so bad for the guy but it that broke it up in a way where it also was even harder for him to crawl back into this rhythm of all

these fans outdoors so it's just musicians i get it when they play outdoor stadiums you're like i'm sure that's incredible for us it's so hard yeah no it doesn't seem uh great i did uh indoor 15 000 people with louis ck um and i did we did madison square garden three he did like eight times i did it three times with him but one time it was the last show and i think he sold five that year, and this was the fifth show. So it was people that didn't seem to be into it, and I just ate shit so hard. And he didn't do great either, that particular show, but I fucking bombed.

And you know how every once in a while you'll do a joke, and one guy laughs, and the instincts will be like, this guy gets it. Look at this guy. I almost did that at Madison Square Garden there was like one guy in 317 you just hear

oh oh oh and I was like I won't address it but fucking that guy he gets it he got it yeah and that's indoors

with the fucking roof so an outdoor bomb I mean especially a gorge it like resonates through the mountaintops yeah but that's the thing

it's like nobody bombed but nobody it's it's it's like you're just doing jokes. Do you know what I mean? It's almost like... You know what it felt like auditioning for Last Comic Standing? Right. Where they're like, no, you did good.

And you're like, oh, okay, I guess. They're like, we're never going to use it, but it was fine. It was totally fine. Did you ever audition for that, by the way? I did. I've actually... I've had two Last Comic Standing... What do you call it? that, by the way? I did. I've actually, I've had two last comic standing, what do you call it, sessions?

Showcases? Well, I did well both times. I made it to L.A., what do you call it, season whatever, 2010. They did a thing. It's funny because I just saw Felipe Esparza. It was the year he won it. I love that guy. He brought it up to me.

It was so touching because it was 13 years ago. And he was like, what happened to you on that show? I can't do accents. No, no. Please keep going. What happened to you on that show? He's Japanese. Good old Japanese Felipe Esparza.

Felipe Esparza. I'm not good with voices. It all turns out pirate. But I did Last Comic Standing 2010, and it was the Tommy Johnigan-Felipe Esparza season. Oh, yes. And they did a thing. I guess the previous year, they had told people, you're going to the next round, and then afterwards called and said, we said that to too many people, so you're not going.

You got that call? No. So this time, they said, we are not doing that again, because we fucked everyone over last year. We're not doing that. If you say you're going to the next round you're going so i got called and i mean this is like a long story but i had a girlfriend that was lived with me i was in love with her and she moved to uh argentina i was like devastated she went to teach english in argentina it was like ruined my

life and then like a month later i did last comic Standing, and I fucking went on to the next round, to the semis or whatever, and I looked in the camera, and I was like, I miss you, Becca. Like, I was like, I'm going to get her back. This is going to be crazy. And then I got my ticket to L.A. I went to L.A., and we did the semifinals, whatever, in the theater.

Yada, yada. Did well. And then it came time for the show to air, and I told everybody I'd ever met in my life. I'm on Last Comic Standing. And they just totally cut me out of the show. I never appeared for a second. Just nobody warned me, no appearance.

And everybody was like, hey, were you just fucking with us? That's hilarious. You weren't on there? And I was like, no, I was. They cut this. Like, I got completely edited out. Oh, man. It was devastating.

At the time, so I lost my girlfriend and my TV credit. And I email i have emails from her i'm like i'm gonna be famous when you get back i just i'm on last comic standing i'll be a household name hope you're not fucking too many argentinian dudes and i'll still be here waiting for you yeah whatever happened to becca becca uh i think she has like she's married with children now but i did go to south america and hung out with her. Tried to get her back. I tried to get her back, and she was like, no, no good. And I was like, all right, I came a long way.

No bueno, Mr. List. No bueno. Take off. But I think she's doing well. I auditioned once in San Francisco. Me and my buddy Kenner, who doesn't do comedy anymore, we drove up there, and we spent the night outside. It was like an experience, you know? I was so excited about it. It was at Cobb's, I think the auditions were.

Oh, wow. And ate such a fucking humongous bag of dicks that, like, I couldn't believe that we did it, that we drove up there. I was, like, mad about it. Like, after I got off, we spent the night in line, slept outside. It was a great experience, but then I was like,

I would have rather just driven to San Francisco, spent the night, and then eaten food and hung out and drank instead of doing this like terrible audition at 10 30 in the morning eating shit and then being like i guess we'll drive back to la were you pretty new at that time yeah that had to been god i don't know what year that was i don't honestly probably like yeah it must have been 09, 08, 09, 010, something like that. 10, 2010. 010, 010, 010. Well, it is technically, it's 2010.

Yeah, it's 2010. 2010. So I wasn't wrong, Joe. Asshole. But, uh, and whatever it was, yeah, I was a couple years in. Like, I started in 06. So, but I wasn't ready, but it was still like i just should have known better than to even drive up there and to do it it was like what the fuck am i doing

right i'm not gonna get on this show i and i also didn't want to be on it i felt like it wasn't a platform that i'd be good at anyway so it was all for not but after that people were like the following years ensuing years everybody we knew was like are you gonna try out you're gonna try out it's like no no way, never. Well, it was exciting because you could get on network TV. And I did it again, I guess it was 2050, the Norm MacDonald year. And that year I was a finalist.

I was in the top 10. And Norm was very sweet to me. And I did well. That one I made a bunch of money because it was like union. Oh, wow. So it was great. Yeah. Was it Roseanne too? Wait, who else was a judge?

Maybe it was Roseanne. I feel like it was else was a judge? Maybe it was Roseanne. I think it was Keenan Ivory, Will Wayans, Roseanne, and Norm. Yeah, yeah. And, yeah, I lost to the guy who won, whose name is... God, I'm a fan of him. Buka de Beppa.

Black guy, Clayton. Clayton English. Clayton English, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's funny. Big fan, huh? Yeah. I mean, I'm not,. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's funny. Big fan, huh? Yeah. I mean, I'm not, you know, I don't have posters. When I see, I like seeing him, and I think he's very funny.

You get a picture of him every time you see him. Yeah, yeah. Clayton, big fan. I don't know if he signed headshots of the guy. But that was great, and I made money, and Norm was incredibly sweet to me, and tweeted about me. It's on the record. That's huge. Because some people at home are probably like, Norm doesn't like this me and tweeted about me. It's on the record. That's huge. Because some people at home are probably like,

Norm doesn't like this fucking hack piece of shit. And I have the receipts, folks. I'll text you. He did like you. He liked you very much. He talked about you right before he died. That's what everybody says. I can't tell if you're joking, but he actually did.

Tell that list guy. It sounds like you're kidding, but on his deathbed, he said Joe List is number one. Joe List, number one. The list guy. It sounds like you're kidding, but on his deathbed, he said Joe List is number one. Joe List, number one. Love that guy. Gone. No, no, he was great. What year did you quit the sauce?

I know you've been sober a while, but come on. Yeah, 10 years. End of 2012. December 28th, 2012. I feel like I remember maybe you posted or someone did. There was a picture of you, Bargatze Soder, a bunch of guys like shit-faced on a patio with your shirts off

Yeah, that sounds right, yeah, that was at Nate's house and for some reason we all took our shirts off and DeRosa was there DeRosa's always there And that was shortly before you got sober Yeah, maybe a year A year or two, right? I don't know what year that was

Maybe I talked to Soder about it, but he was talking about how like you know it was a that group was just like you guys were partying constantly together yeah and a few people cleaned up went away and then a few people just kept partying yeah we got after it it was fun i mean that's all i ever wanted to do i mean i really fucked up a lot of, I wasn't real good at the career stuff. I'm still not. Great. Every time I text you, I throw my phone

across the room asking if I could do your podcast. It's horrible. I did it with Burr when I was like, I just did a new special. I'm so sorry.

Could you promote it? If not, don't worry about it. And I fucking whipped my phone in the other room and didn't look at it for two hours. And then it turned,

he wrote back like two minutes later and he wrote, yeah, I think I like you more than you do or something like that, he wrote back like two minutes later and he wrote, yeah, I think I like you more than you do or something like that, which was very sweet. He's probably, that's probably true. But yeah, we got, uh, yeah, we went, we went fucking crazy.

We went hard till 2012. Yeah. I put in a good, yeah, 12 years of drinking or so. I started drinking late. Did you drink in high school? I started after high school. Yeah. Yeah.

I definitely have a, I definitely like it a lot. I do. I've been doing it a lot. Well, that's very nice. I started drinking. I started drinking when I was probably 14, 15. And then, you know, but not really partying. It was like once in a while you'd sneak stuff.

You go to a party and. Yeah. And then in college, I really learned how to let it rip. And then after college, I moved out here and I was broke. And so, you know know when you could afford to we'd go out right and then now it's more of a casual thing unless it's like i have to go like out with burt and those guys and then you they're just like get ripped and then you just like feel like this weird universal force to just continue to drink but i now i dry out a lot like i'll do

weeks and weeks with drying out now because i just can't do it anymore. Yeah, that's good. Well, you start to get hungover. Once I hit 30, my hangovers were, like, devastating. Yeah, it's disgusting. At my 20, I'd play, like, hoop the next day and be like, fucking yow! Yeah. You know?

I did a left tomahawk jam. I can really ball. Yeah. But, yeah, it starts to hurt more. And I don't know. I never did any drying out at all. Yeah, it never was a, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Maybe a couple days. But I don't, I never did any drying out at all. You just continue. Yeah.

It never was a, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I would, maybe a couple of days. But I think as you continue to drink, as you get older,

like when you start to reach around 40, you do become cognizant of the ramifications. So you go, let me just, let me just temper this. And if I can't temper it, then I need to go get help. That's kind of,

that was like always my thing was like, if I have a problem where I just can't go, well'm not drinking for a little while yeah uh then i then i that that to me was my key indication but there's no you know what it is i also talk to people that go like i have a lot of friends that are sober i mean bobby's my best friend he's been sober i mean he's fallen off a few times but um you know the one thing i always noticed was there is no such thing as like a, uh, you know, an idyllic alcoholic where it's like, this is exactly what every alcoholic does.

Everyone has their little things. But the one thing that the response to stress or pain or trauma usually is people say like, man, I, that's when I really want to have a drink when I'm like bummed or sad. To me, it's the opposite. Like, I don't want to go home and drink by myself. Right. I'm a social slut. Like I cannot wait to go home and drink by myself right i'm a social slut like i cannot wait to go see people to have drinks with them yeah but if i'm alone i have zero

interest in drinking alone at my house well that's good well that's that's what i'm saying that was one thing i learned because for years i'd be like man i like to party a lot but it's always with humans it's i've never enjoyed being by myself and drinking or with my my lady it's like her and i rarely drink at the house like we do sometimes but usually it'll be like do you want to go get dinner and have a drink whereas most of my friends who had substance abuse problems were like i couldn't wait to drink alone right that was my favorite thing to do was to drink solo yeah i liked both i like to drink with everybody and get after it and play games and fuck around and then be my room by my i mean still now the times i want drink, a lot of times, I'm like, I was in Vegas.

I was in Vegas when you guys were there. Yeah. But I had some corporate gig, and they gave me a suite, and it was full, mini bar, and it looked like this. And I was like, man, I could really fucking do some damage right now. Nobody would have to know. See, that's where it's scary. Yeah. Honestly, you might think this sounds like a lie.

I've almost never, I can't remember drinking from a minibar in my hotel room. Unless people came over to my room where we're like shooting something and then everyone's in my room drinking. But I've never been alone in a minibar in my hotel room and had a drink. It like reminds me of, what's the Denzel movie where he flips the plane? Yeah. Love that film. Like I remember vividly that scene where he's just like like just cannot wait to rip that thing to shreds yeah great film that movie helped i watched that movie right before i got sober it was like that movie's like

a two-hour aa meeting it's amazing and i didn't i thought it was like an action movie thing or something and i was watching it like crying being like that's me. That's a great film. It is a good film. Zemeckis. He's so good. Oh, yeah, that was a Zemeckis movie, wasn't it? Yeah, he's awesome. One time I went to Iraq with Bargetzi to do comedy. You were fighting as well, yeah? Yeah, we did a little fighting.

It was a make-a-wish. They put us up on the front lines. They wish you would go die on the lines? Yeah, they're shooting at us. My wish is for Joe List to be on the front lines and get clapped. Nate's like, I mean, we're not even ready. That was a decent impression, I thought. That was pretty good.

It wasn't my best, but yeah, we went for like 10 days. I remember coming back and talking to my friend who was a sober guy and being like, dude, I think actually I might be good. Like, I just went 10 days without drinking and I feel great. And my buddy was like, well, that's not really a test to go to a Muslim war-torn country where there is no alcohol. Like, you were unable to drink. If there was a bar there, I'm sure you would have drank. And you're like, yeah, yeah.

I mean, after the end of the show, you're tired, and it's hot. What am I going to do? I'm sacrificing for the good of the American people. What was that? A USO thing? Yeah, this guy, Scott Kennedy, who's also dead. I was his favorite also. Another guy on the deathbed.

He was like this. Was he a comic or just a Kennedy? He was a comic. He was a comic, and he ran all these tours. He just went over there all the time. Did he die over there? No, no. He seemed pretty on the nose.

He was a big guy. I think he, I don't know, his heart gave out or something. That sounds like a Curb Your Enthusiasm bit where he's like yeah man he died in iraq and like oh my god i'm so sorry but you don't want to tell them that it was he had a heart attack it wasn't yeah he was just fast he was organizing us host stuff he had a heart attack um you were on curb right i did an episode yes it was like one of the best moments of my entire life i even said i remember saying when i got the check i think it was like $800 or something.

I don't even remember. It was something menial. And I remember thinking, I couldn't even care less about, I would have paid to be on the show. Yeah. But when you're young,

like when you, when you first start out in the comedy world, you're like, I would kill to be on that show. You also do think, and you're on TV, you get a nice big check and

but then you realize no no you work super hard to get on these things and it's the moment that matters because the money doesn't exist on those things you do guest stars you get paid dog shit you don't make any money that's why they're out there marching in the streets baby i keep driving by with my hand out the window and they get really excited nothing's gonna nothing's gonna fucking change i know i feel happy though when i i the window and they get really excited. Nothing's going to, nothing's going to fucking change. I know. I feel happy though. When I, I give them and they're like, yeah,

it is fun. I don't care. I, you know, it, that whole thing is, uh, such a convoluted back and forth.

It feels as political as like when you watch election stuff and you're like, everyone's making so many points. I wouldn't even know who to follow. I hope the writers get what they want. I hope the actors union gets what it needs, but you're also like, that's all, that's only only that's the only effort i'm putting into it right right i can't do anything more than that i'm like dude get pay these guys also i'm gonna walk away yeah i feel kind of similar and sometimes i'm driving around here you get excited i'm like i want to put

on some pete seger and like if i had a hammer and get out there but it's hot out it's too hot it's a little toasty i saw on the today, as monotonous and stupid as weather conversations are, the heat index in the Middle East, look this up, was 151, the heat index. Wow. It said it was detrimental to human life and existence to be out in 151 heat index. 152 was the heat index. And that was in where? What country?

What did it say? Persian Gulf International Airport, was the heat index. And that was in where? What country? What did it say? Persian Gulf International Airport. So the Persian Gulf. But when I saw the article, I thought, maybe people will start to believe it now. Like now is it finally when you're like, all right, 152 heat index. 152, that feels too high. Well, heat index. So not actual temperature.

Right. But still. Doesn't matter. That's like a wrestling weight class that's bad news as someone who's been to Iraq and fought

and performed thank God yeah God bless God bless I can really I can connect to how difficult that is

were you over there complaining did you think we were like we could have had a better suite than this we should have been treated a little bit nicer

no but there was I mean a little bit there was times where because you're the least important person there, that's their rules, not ours. That's them talking. Any helicopter or transportation, anybody needs it. They get it before you. So there'd be a lot of times where you would wait for a helicopter for like 90 minutes or whatever. To get back to where you needed to go.

Yeah, and you're like, we're on the next one. And then some fucking dickhead in the army would show up and get it. So we had to keep being like, ah, ah, ah. And so Nate and I were just like sitting in a car. And it was very warm. I don't know if it was 152, but it was very toasty. Yeah. And so it was annoying at times like that.

And then Nate and I can be competitive, know, competitive. Not in comedy, obviously. Well, yeah, because he's below you in comedy. Yeah, yeah. I've destroyed him so much. You've surpassed him so graciously. I wasn't going to say it. Yeah, I will. You heard me, Nate.

But, yeah, we would play basketball and stuff. And then, like, you know, someone would lose and we'd be fighting. Did you beat him at basketball? Nate and I were actually, when we played, we were like pretty similar. Yeah, we would kind of cancel each other out. Nate and I have golf competition, him and I. Him and I are competitive in golf together. Yeah, you're a good golfer, right?

I beat him when I was in Vegas. What's up, Nate? How are you, buddy? No, no, he's actually, and he's quite good. But we're very similar in our game. Interesting. But I went out to Vegas to go see him because he was playing the win. And we share an agent.

And I had a day down. And I was texting him. I was like, I think I'm out to Vegas to go see him because he was playing the win and we share an agent and I had a day down and I was texting him and I was like, I think I'm going to come just play golf. It's a 36 minute flight. I was like, why wouldn't I do that? So the luxury of life

is nice that I was able to come home on tour and go play with him because it was great. I also hadn't seen him in forever. But he is competitive. I'm the same way.

I think most comics are competitive by nature. If you're not, it would seem hard to succeed in a business because beyond the fact of, like, you're a very funny dude. I've known you for a long time. You've always been funny. If you had no competitive edge, you would just be a guy that's funny.

I think you naturally have to have some kind of dog in you a little bit. I think so. I don't know, but don't you find out there, you meet these comics, they're not like like not our kind of guys but there's plenty of fucking dorks that are doing jokes they don't yeah but are they but is their career on an ascension uh like are they growing i think like it's okay it doesn't matter if you want to continue to do comedy and be i'm just saying like the guys that i see that nate's a great example the guys that i see like nate who are competitive and hard working they begin to edge out and right right it that, Nate's a great example. The guys that I see like Nate, who are competitive and hardworking,

they begin to edge out and edge out. Right, right, right. It's a natural progression. Yeah, I think you're right. I mean, if you look at any great comic that you like, Louis is quite competitive. Chappelle is un-fucking-believably competitive. I mean, would argue with you about, you know,

the color of my hair, and it's my hair, you know? And I'd lose. Yeah. It's just, that's a natural progression for people at a certain level. You kind of have to be, it's kind of like when somebody says every CEO is an asshole and you're like, kinda, it's kind of hard to get there without being a little bit of a dick. Now, do you think you can become a billionaire without being an evil piece of shit? Cause that's a very popular. No, I don't, I don't think so. I think you become a multimillionaire

without being an evil piece of shit. Because at some point I've, I know a few, I know three billionaires and I don't know, I don't know them well, but I've met them. Nate Bargatze. Nate Bargatze. Um,

no, I know, I know these few guys that I've met through the grapevine of other people that I know, and I don't know them well, but what I know is they are they share something in the way that they interact with people and the way they think about people and the way they like talk to you it feels very much uh very divisive they're extremely calculated usually like Jost had a great joke on SNL on on um trump trump's initial running maybe uh it was a

phenomenal joke because that's now constantly was like fuck trump fuck trump and finally he was like yeah but also i can't stand people going he's an idiot he's a moron you're like i don't know a lot of moron billionaires i know a lot of asshole billionaires but he goes you're never gonna hear someone go yeah remember that kid that used to eat paint chips in sixth grade he's a billionaire it's like no that's not that's never the case so in the same way these billionaires the few that i've met through other people and i again i don't know them on a personal level but they feel the same and it's hard to describe and i'm not saying they're bad people they're just you have to be extremely divisive and not afraid to step on people to get stuff that's the only way to get there it would it's it's impossible to use the workforce at that level to get that amount of

money without taking risks and losing people and losing things. It's impossible. Right. But like a guy who's like a multimillionaire that runs a small business, you know, that makes three, four million a year, you know, yeah, no, you could be that and still be a giving, good-hearted human. Yeah, for sure.

I mean, we know comedians that are very wealthy. Yeah, that are good people. Very nice, yeah. But billionaire, I don't know, man. I just don't think that's a, I think that's a weird, there's a guy, I wish, I don't know, man. I just don't think that's a, I think that's a weird, there's a guy, I wish I would never say it, but there's a guy who I know, we played golf and he lost and it was like 30 bucks and he didn't want to pay.

He was like, live it about. And I was like, 30 bucks? 30 bucks! That's got to be some other kind of competitive thing. But I feel like that runs in that same vein of like you know you heard about jordan right jordan is one of these notorious golfers who never wants to pay but always wants you to pay up when you lose and he bets hundreds of thousands of dollars and it doesn't matter if he lost it all but he wants you to pay fast right right that's the rumor

i don't know if that's true but but it feels right because he's so competitive and he's so successful it's a part of it's. It's a part of the thing, you know? Right. Would you ever want to be that rich? Not billionaire? Billionaire. No, that feels... I'd be too afraid I was gonna die. I feel like as soon as you have a billion dollars, you're like, life's gonna end,

something bad's gonna happen, I know it. Well, that's when you drink baby blood, dude. That's when you really live forever. Those guys are all on that stuff. Yeah, they drink baby blood, and don't they have f***ing children too, as far as I understand. That's part of the baby blood. That's when you really live forever. Those guys are all on that stuff. Yeah, they drink baby blood, and don't they? They have children too, as far as I understand. That's part of the baby blood. That's where it comes from. I see. In here, we pour whiskey. This episode of

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That is Aura, A-U-R aura.com slash whiskey to sign up for a 14-day free trial and start protecting you and your loved ones that's aura.com aura.com slash whiskey certain terms apply so be sure to check this out ginger i like gingers but like you know like like a lot of these guys the richer they get everyone wants to stay young like derosa and i were talking about how everybody is on t now. Everyone's on T. What's T? Testosterone. Oh. I'm not on T.

Should I be on T? You're on T? I'm going to look at you and say, yeah. What are you talking about? I'm not on T. Are you kidding? Look at this. Pow! You are yoked.

Pow! Yeah. No, I was talking about your libido. Your wife has said a few things to me online. Uh-oh. What? Get Joe on T. Yeah, it's pretty embarrassing.

Fuck. Can you get Joe on T? That was the subject line. And there was nothing in the body. That's all it said. I drink tea, folks. No, I have libido. I want to fuck all the time.

All right, Joe, relax. You don't need to sell me on it. Hit the camera. I'll fuck this fucking twink right here. Are you kidding? Can you go twice in an hour? I don't know. Let's get you on tea! guess i mean if i had to

my wife and i well she's not she's gonna have sex twice in a day yeah we've had sex twice in a day one time your whole relationship our whole relationship when did you start how old were you when you started dating uh 11 no um 29 i was 29 but it's not about me. It's about her. I think she looks at it as like, we did that already. We knocked that out. We had orgasms. That's it. Plus, I found that pussy. I mean, there's only so much ice to go around.

I can't just be destroying this woman's vagina. You're a monster truck of a guy. But now, I mean, maybe I have low T or something, because now when I come, I'm good for a while. But I'm on like a 12-day road trip, and I was jerking off daily the first three days. Well, that's because of being away from home. That's like the empty nest thing where you're like, I got to jerk off.

I'm somewhere else. Right. You feel so free. No, the reason I ask, I'm not. The guys like Bert and those guys are all openly on T and they talk about it. And Bert's was because of a fatty liver. They were like, this can fix a fatty liver. It'll also help you in your, you know, it does a bunch of different stuff.

But it's like a new craze. And it's like where HGH was always kind of like, oh, man, you know, steroids or HGH and everything's look bad on. And testosterone is one of these things where it is a steroid. But, you know, everyone slowly HGH and everything's looked bad on. And testosterone is one of these things where it is a steroid, but, you know, everyone slowly is okay with it. This is going to happen with everything where we slowly become like, okay, we're like, listen, dude, so you drank a little bit of baby blood. I mean, you know what I mean? My doctor said it's going to help my vision.

I'm having trouble driving at night, so I drank a little baby blood. No big whoop. No big whoop. I think that stuff bleeds into culture so slowly until we don't notice it. Like watched that documentary we talked about it on the other show about the cloning did you see that the cloning doc no oh my god is it good dude it's so creepy they were cloning camels to start and it basically turned into you know this japanese no this what am i saying korean doctor yeah there it is you. I was searching for it. South Korean doctor that he basically was like,

we can just clone humans now. I mean, we're ready to go. Just say yes and we're gonna do it. And they don't know if it actually already happened. You know what I mean? Like, we can't check down enough of these international billionaires that paid for him to, like, go to their lab and secretly spend time there.

So if you clone someone, do they have the same... Well, you're talking to a moron, so all I know is what I've seen. I've heard that they share the exact physical DNA, so they will look identical to you. But they don't have the same memories. Well, there's no chance, no. They have to build that all from something, from environment. You know what I mean? Right.

I mean, I don't know what I would do with it. What would you even do if you got a clone anyway? I would double up on my wife. Oh, so he would get the second round. The one that you can't do. No, at the same time. Oh, yeah. Well, that would give you no pleasure. You don't receive the... There's no receptors

for you with him. You're just giving your clone some... Right. That's a good point Yeah, you're not gonna gain anything from that. Yeah, she might not be into it The average person would say put them to work do the shit. I don't want to do you want this kind of That's what I meant clone cock Your whole thing that's a porn clone cock that could be a good porn with the twins Yeah, which wins this is always the thing as a kid where someone's like, go do my homework. Joe's immediately like, fuck my wife.

Yeah, eat my wife out in front of me. With me. While I'm there. Well, I guess I goofed. We'll cut this in post. No, no, leave it in. I got to ask you because I've always been curious about comedian couples. Do you find it that you guys do get competitive

and you have arguments about it, or there is no place for that in your home? I don't know. Do you fight ever about comedy in the business? No, not really, no. We're not big fighters. The only thing we ever fight about is that I want to go on trips all the time,

and she's like, I have work to do. And I'm like, I know, but it'll be fun. We'll just go paris for a week i like that that's great yeah i'm a big you've always spent your money huh yeah yeah i like to go out well i'm a very work life balance guy to much of the detriment of my career but i mean we were just talking about i come to la and i'm like hiking and going to movies i'm like this is great yeah but that's what you should do looking at stars houses and people like you're gonna do uh fucking uh such in this pod and I'm like, this is great. Yeah, but that's what you should do. I'm like looking at stars' houses and people are like, you're going to do fucking such and this pod? And I'm like, no way. I got to hike.

Yeah. Because probably some of it's fear. But yeah, I like to go and travel and go all the places and take a lot of time off. And she doesn't want to do any of that. She loves it and she does enjoy it. But she's like, I'm trying to move my career further or do this or I have a script I'm working on

or whatever it is. So we'll argue in that way. No, we get along great. It's great. And now you've got a kid on the way so that will shape the future of traveling anyway. Yeah. Are you doing the baby moon thing?

A lot of people do that. No, we are going to the Cayman Islands in a couple weeks, next week. Next week Joe will be in the Cayman Islands. If you're there, please call. This is the number for the resort right here. We're going to put it up right on the screen. Come down.

Please call and ask for the lists. Yes. She didn't change her name, though, right? She kept her name. No, she actually tried. She was going to keep her, like... She got denied. Yeah.

DMV was like, no, no, no, no. It's a pain in the ass. You have to go and do all the shit and send the stuff and all the stuff back. And she got detained in Parisis for like 12 hours because she sent her passport to this company that was supposed to help you change your name and then she didn't hear back from them so she was like oh i think i got fucked i think i got a bad whatever like a scam a scam so she was like my passport's been stolen and then they did send it back eventually and they're like here you go. So she was like, my passport's been stolen. And then they did send it back eventually.

And they're like, here you go. And then she was like, oh, it's not stolen. I have it back. And then we went to Paris and we got there and they were like, yeah, you reported this stolen. And she's like, oh yeah, but I got it back. And they were like, well, that doesn't matter. That's not how it works.

She reported it stolen. So they detained her and it was a whole, it was a whole thing. So anyways, long story short, no, she did not change her name. So she kept, she kept it. And that, that's, long story short, no, she did not change her name. So she kept it. And that's actually better for her in the long run. Yeah, because we're going to, you know, I'll cheat on her eventually. Is List a Nazi name? Yeah, that's right.

It's got to be. Yeah. List. Bingo! How fun! It wasn't originally, but we changed it. We changed it to be more Nazi. We wanted it to sound more.

Listenstein is what it was before. No, I haven't done a 23 and me, but according to my grandfather, and this might have just been because he was around during the war, is that all... And this part is true, that a lot of Germans migrated to Ireland

in like the 16th or 15th century. So I had many generations of lists in Ireland. So they're mostly Irish. Yeah. Your mom and dad are Irish sides. So I had many generations of lists in Ireland. So they're mostly Irish. Yeah. Your mom and dad are Irish sides. Yeah, my mother's side is Scottish and Irish, and my dad's side is Irish,

and there must be some German along the way, but literally his grandparents immigrated from Ireland. Something's got you. You guys had to have some German. And I know they're hiding it from you. They don't want anybody to know. There's German in there somewhere. Because you feel like you could have they're hiding it from you. Oh, yeah. They don't want anybody to know. There's German in there somewhere because... Because you feel like you could have had some of it in there.

You're tall, slender. Yeah. Irish are short. I'm superior to most, it feels like. Sure. You know? Yeah. Is that written somewhere?

On my... I'm superior to most. No, so I think there's some German in there. There's got to be a little bit. German, my favorite line. I'm German-Irish. Well, let me tell you something, my Kraut-McFriend.

What is that from? The Godfather. Oh, yes. He says, you greasy guinea-wop, and he said, I'm German-Irish. He goes,

well, let me tell you something, my Kraut-McFriend. He immediately just switches to great film. Greasy guinea-wop is what a great, what a great little jab. Greasy guinea-wop. Great film, everybody.

Check it out. Godfather. The Godfather. That's what I'm here jab. Greasy Guinea Wap. Great film, everybody. Check it out. Godfather. The Godfather. That's what I'm here to plug. Watch the third one. Part three. Plug the third one. Nothing else.

I do like that you're a traveler guy. I mean, I don't know you well enough to know that that would be something that you're like super. Like with Ari, it's glaring that he loves to travel. He'll break his phone and leave for like seven months at a time. We went and visited him in Ecuadoruador we were the only ones every he said everyone said we're coming to ecuador and uh sarah and i were the only two that went i always bail on all these trips that they push out to me anyway ari will be like you know come hike the andes for a week and that's like how the fuck i don't know where i'm gonna be in seven months and he's like just do it for me

vacation has to be extremely specific and it's got to be slotted out of all this shit that i've got going on so like like we're going somewhere in october i mean we're going a bunch of places actually but it's like i know it has to be so dialed in planned out right it's just so hard because work schedules are nuts for me and her so it just gets harder but like i don't that's it's cool to know that about you like now i want to know i'm curious to know like what's your your music taste you gave me the 70s like what's your dirty what's your like dirty guilty pleasure music what shit that you're like i hate that i like this because it doesn't music wise yeah what doesn't match you i don't know i mean

i listen to a lot of stuff i mean like i like, I'm a big Jimmy Buffett guy. I like Jack Johnson. I try to settle my anxiety with some, like, Jack Johnson-y vibes. But I'm a big, I'm a huge Pearl Jam guy. I've been to, like, 48 Pearl Jam shows. Really? Huge Springsteen guy, yeah. Man, the different spectrum.

That's amazing. Because Buffett to Pearl Jam. Yeah. Like, if you put a Buffett fan And a Pearl Jam fan Next to each other You'd be like These guys aren't gonna get along at all But they're both Both great

Wonderful artists But I'm a big Like I like that Jackson Brown a lot Love Jackson Brown But then I'm also I'm a huge Pogues guy And Ramones

I'm a big punk guy too Love the Pogues A lot of You're touching all the bases Yeah What don't you like? I don't like Jews

He said it What? You heard him say it. That was Joe List. That was not... You heard what he said. No, I like... There's got to be a Jew that's a good musician.

Gene Simmons I do hate, but... What's it called? Beastie Boys? I'm not big into. Not really, though. I don't love them, but... Modest Yahoo. You're a big Modest Yahoo fan.

I don't know who that is. You don't remember that guy? No. You remember that guy? Vaguely. He had a one-hit reggae hip-hop. Joey Ramone. Joey Ramone.

He's Jewish. He's Jewish. Boom. Thank God. We got one. I was nervous for you for a second. I was like, dude, there's a bunch out there. You just don't know.

You know what I mean? Yeah. All right. Who's your favorite Palestinian artist? Cat Stevens. He converted. He converted.? Cat Stevens. He converted. He converted. Love Cat Stevens.

He converted to Islam and hated America or something like that. They didn't let him back in the country. Remember this? The guy that wrote the peace train? They were like, you don't get to come back, dude. Fuck that. But no, I like Jews. Jews are cool.

All right, we don't have to keep doing that part. We get it. We know. Trust me. It's okay. Ari and I are very close. Yeah, the internet believes it by now, Joe. Everyone online.

Seinfeld, favorite show ever. Now, do you know Seinfeld as a guy? No. I brought him on stage one time. I was opening for Burr, and they asked me to emcee the show because Jerry was coming. So I got to bring Jerry on stage, and then I stood next to him while we watched Burr, but I didn't bother. And at Colin Quinn's wedding, he was there. And he was dancing, and I was dancing, like, next to him.

Seinfeld was dancing? Yeah. Cannot see that. He was dancing. And then when he turned his back, I did the Elaine. Just as, like, everyone was like, oh, that's funny. And then Colin's premiere, I'm very close with Colin Quinn it sounds like it

yeah and at his premiere of his most recent show Jerry said oh this is a funny story I've told in a couple podcasts so I hope people aren't mad but I was standing around in a circle with Chris DiStefano who you know and Mike Cannon I don't know if you know Mike

so we're hanging out and Sarah Sarah was there, a few people, and Jerry was there doing like a step and repeat, and then he was walking by, and he recognized Chris DeStefano, and he said, oh, hi, Christopher, and Chris, they shook hands, and Jerry kept walking, and I went, oh, my God, I love Jerry. Let me smell that hand. Give me that hand. Mmm, Jerry.

And I did that, and then Mike Cannon was like, he's right there looking at you. And I kind of did one of these. And Jerry was like, what's the deal with this guy? He was like right here and just watched me do a bit. At least it was like a bit, a funny thing. Joe? Yeah, I was trying to be funny.

Mostly I just want to, I was hoping to get a whiff of Chris's cock. It's more him than Jerry. Well, it's always Al. But yeah, so if Jerry knows who I am, it's... Well, he does know, right? He's got to know who you are. I think he knows who I am. Because I really am friendly with Colin,

very friendly with Colin. And Colin did say one time, he's like, I was telling Jerry about your something. So he's heard of me at least. About a bit that you did. Yeah, but I don't know Jerry. The best thing the legends can do is when they pass a bit to someone else. was like when i was at the cellar it

made me feel really good because i you know i'm not there enough for the guys that i know are guys like our generation that that i know over the years but like colin doesn't really know me from a hole in the wall and uh although he does love glory holes but i was walking off stage and he he kind of like grabbed me a little bit, like as I was walking by, like, and he's about to go on and he goes funny bits Santino. And I was like, that feels really good.

Yeah. Cause he doesn't know me. You know, it was like, that felt really good when it's, when he was standing there in the hallway, he was right next to him, but that felt really good.

And same thing, dude, at this Bert thing, uh, Louis black was, did a, did a couple of dates or did a date. And I was like,

I love, I've always loved that guy I just loved how he played his own chord the whole time and he gave me a little thing that meant the world 16,000 people yelling and cheering and doing a good set you're like whatever who fucking cares

but when he was like the janitor bit I was like oh man that's fucking it just like it makes comedy worth it in the sense you're like that feels so good

of course it feels so good that's the bit I loved I loved all your bits but that bit the janitor bit yeah yeah we said that it's so funny

and when Lewis said that it was like it felt almost as good as a Joe List compliment I appreciate that I gotta tell ya well that's what it does

you do feel like okay I'm on to something with this. Yeah, when they validate it. Yeah. You ever have this where a comic goes, I should do this as a bit. It never worked because I guess maybe it's too inside. But people will go like this, dude, what was that? You did one bit that I fucking loved. And you're like this, the whiskey bit?

No. The TV bit? No. And you're like this. Oh, okay. About my stepdad? No. You have a this. Oh, okay. About my stepdad? No. You have a bit about that?

No, no. That one wasn't good at all. Anyways, I can't remember the one I liked. But yeah, definitely I didn't like the six you just mentioned. You're going down the line of your entire set list. You're like, any of these? You're like, must have been a while ago. What hurts even more is they go, you know, that wasn't even you.

Who went right after you? That's who that was. Yeah, I've had that. Yeah, where you're on a big showcase with other people and they go, you know what? That wasn't even you. Who went right after you? That's who that was. Yeah, I've had that. Yeah, where you're on a big showcase with other people and they go, dude, the Cheez-Its thing is so funny. And you're like, that was so-and-so. And they go, right.

That was good. I liked that bit that he did. Yeah, not me at all, but thank you. I'm sure you liked something I did. But yeah, so I don't really know Jerry. No, you don't know Jerry. I don't know him at all. I've never even...

The only time I've seen him is when he came here once and did the store after Mitzi died. And I've told this story a lot, but he kind of just talked about why he never came back to the stores because she didn't pass him. Yeah, he can hold a grudge. He had such a fucking grudge. It was unbelievable.

Yeah. And he said he bought a house above... Do you know the story? He bought a house above theirs just so he could drive by and say hi to them above them when he was. Isn't that fucking insane? That's great. I mean, that's that competitive edge you're talking about. That's what we were talking about.

That's a very Jerry Seinfeld, like, I'll show you. Yeah, yeah. Okay, I'm not funny. We'll see. We'll see. Colin probably is quite familiar with your act, though, I imagine, because he's a guy that keeps it. He knows what's going on. Maybe, but, you know, he wouldn't see.

I'm here so much, and I'm not there as much, so maybe he's seen me a few times, but. And you have stuff online, right? A little bit. Not really. I kind of avoid putting stuff on the Internet for no other reason than I'm a coward, and I'm just like, I hate it. Surely you have comedy specials.

Yeah, but, you know, like the Netflix one is up there, but I don't put enough of it on the Internet. Right, but, I mean, he probably has Netflix, this man. I don't think so. I actually think Colin Quinn doesn't have Netflix. If I'm being honest, he seems like he doesn't have Netflix. He has Hulu Plus. As somebody that's close to him, I could text him.

I wouldn't. I wouldn't do it. Imagine he only has Discovery Plus. You can't break me away from Discovery Plus, bud. I think he's got things. Plus, he has a wife. She probably watches things. Organizes all his life and does the thing.

I think so. What's the balance in your house? Does your wife do a lot of the shit, or do you also do a lot of the bullshit? She does a lot of the paperwork-y things. I'm pretty stupid. I'm not good at the thing. It's very much... I pay the rent, though.

I do that. I have a relationship with the landlord, and I do that. I take the trash out and stuff like that. She handles the important stuff. She pays the credit card bills. And then I do stuff. I mean, my taxes, well, I guess she sends it off. I put it in a folder, and then she sends it to an accountant.

Look at my wife sent me to do this to you. I'm basically just manipulating you to feel. She also said that you don't, you don't ever make the bed. That was the one thing that she mentioned. I don't, you do not

ever clean up the bathroom. That's another thing she said. No, I clean, I clean, I vacuum. I like vacuuming. I'm telling you what she said.

You do? And I do dishes too. You're a big vacuum guy? Yeah. What do you got? You got a Dyson? I do have a Dyson. Yeah,

I figured. If you're going to do it, you might as well get the best, right? I got a nice Dyson and that thing, it's a motherfucker. Like, I empty it out before and vacuum and I'll like, look at it for a while. I'm like, yeah, yeah. If you're going to do it, you might as well get the best, right? I got a nice Dyson, and that thing, it's a motherfucker. Like, I empty it out before and vacuum, and I'll, like, look at it for a while.

I'm like, look at that. That was on our floor. I'm like, it's like I'm on mushrooms. I'm like, this is crazy, man. Have you ever vacuumed on mushrooms? We should get you to do that. No, I never did mushrooms. Never?

I missed out on the mushroom scene. Man. I know. Now, that's a whole thing, right? There is, like, California sober, where people are like, I don't drink anymore, but I smoke weed or I'll take mushrooms. Yeah. That's, it's such a, it's such an LA thing that people do out there.

They justify it by being like, well, it's, you can't get addicted to weed. No, there's people that do that. And you're like, yeah, but you smoke it every fucking day. No, I come out. Yeah, exactly. Like sometimes I come off as like a narc. I'm not anti weed. I enjoyed weed and I'm fine with people that don't drink and smoke weed.

But there's a lot of people that like smoke weed all day, every day. And they're like, yeah, I'm sober. And I'm like, no that don't drink and smoke weed. But there's a lot of people that smoke weed all day, every day. And they're like, yeah, I'm sober. And I'm like, no, you're fucking smashed. Like, you are on drugs. Like, I've smoked weed. And I was out of my fucking mind. I'm like, yeah, man. Like, I'm like, you're fucking, you're cooked.

Yeah, you're, yeah. So, yeah. I don't understand that whole, like, I'm L.A. sober. I hear that a lot now. People are like, I'm L.A. sober. Didn't you do ketamine like a week ago? They're like, yeah, but it's not booze. I'm't understand that whole like I'm LA sober. I hear that a lot now. People are like, I'm LA sober. Didn't you do ketamine like a week ago? They're like, yeah, but it's not booze. I'm not getting fucking drunk. Yeah, I don't. But it tends to be

to be honest, not to be fair. It tends to be everyone I know that does that had their life significantly more in order than when I knew them and they were hitting this stuff. Of course. Because they were driving and they were just doing wild dumb shit that was more detrimental to their life. That it's like, hey man, if that

balances you, good. Whatever works for you. Yeah, I mean there's a million bits about it. It's a common premise. But like alcohol is way worse than weed. It's worse than anything. Yeah. It's poison. Again, it's been done to death. No offense to the people that have this as a bit.

But most people don't get high and are like, fuck you, motherfucker. I'll fucking get you. Although there are a few. I'm sure there are. There are a few aggressive stoners. I was a big break stuff when I was drinking. I would like to go out and just raise some hell.

Just crack shit? Break shit? That was like a night out on the way home. You're the guy that rips out the stop sign. You're that guy. Yeah, that was me. I know that guy. Yeah, yeah. I'm a friend of that guy. You gotta twist and pull.

If you twist and pull at the same time, it'll come out. That guy. I know that guy. Yeah, I did a lot of that. What if we fuck up a mailbox? You're like,

why are we doing that? Yeah, I did a lot of that. It was... Property damage was your thing. That was one of my things. I mean, it wasn't the thing. It was one of my things. One of them.

Fucking fat women was also a thing. Yeah, I had a bunch of things. My biggest yucky shit when I would get drunk in college specifically was I would disappear from everybody. I would not tell anybody I was leaving. And I have a car, so it's not like I could get in a car and drive. But I would go on my little nasty fast food hunt like a little pig and get as much as I could and then eat it outside by myself. And I did this all the time.

And it was like shameful. I'd walk home because I was like, why don't I just want to eat with somebody? But I would just go get as sad and fat as I could. I'd get like two burritos. It was gross. But it made me feel like really like why am I doing this? Every time I get drunk, I'd sneak away and go get food by myself. Yeah myself yeah well people don't talk about booze making you hungry people always talk about weed oh i can eat way more on yeah what i'm drinking i i always was like let's go fucking eat oh yeah

dude i can eat way more on alcohol when i actually have like a bad week of like if we're partying like on bert's thing if i got high uh i i'm not immediately rushing to get food we were having a couple of drinks like on the river I couldn't fucking wait to get back and eat and I ate way too much than I ever needed to eat then I got on the bus and I felt like shit and I was like it wasn't the booze it was that I just overate

and it's a buffet when you go on these tours it's like what do you want they have all of the bullshit now do you black out ever now still are you ever like fucking legless and cross-eyed and crazy? You're laughing immediately, so that makes me think. Do I black out? Do you beat him up on the road?

I've never blacked out with you on the road. No, I didn't black out. No, no. But do you hit him? Do I hit him? Yeah. Physically, yes, I do. But I assault him sober.

That doesn't mean, that means nothing. People that are listening, they can't see. McCone is back there. The Bad Friends fans know McCone. No, but you know what? I'll have a couple of random nights where I don't black out, but, you know, like I'll get in an argument with a buddy over bullshit. Right, right.

And I regret it because we were drunk and we were just arguing for no reason. Yeah, yeah. There was no reason we needed to fight about it. Yeah, I was big into that. Yeah, right. And I regret it because we were drunk and we were just arguing for no reason. Yeah, yeah. There was no reason we needed to fight about it. Yeah, I was big into that. Yeah, it was no reason. I hocked a loogie on my own car one time because I was arguing about it. What'd you do? I hocked a loogie on my own windshield.

My buddy was driving because whenever I drank, I didn't want to get arrested. I was never afraid of dying. So I'd be like, someone else drive, even if they were fucked up. Right. I just didn't want to be the one that got arrested. So I would give, my buddy was driving drunk and we started arguing over whether or not

the East River was a river. He was saying it was an estuary or whatever. Maybe you can look this up. But it's called the fucking East River. It isn't a river, right?

And I think technically it says like the East River is an estuary or something. But this is pre-smartphones or whatever. The saltwater tidal estuary.

It is an estuary. But it's called the East River. I mean, that's the fucking name of it. You were right and wrong at the same time. So I was, we were screaming at each other like, fuck you. It's the fucking East River. And we got to a red light and I got out of my own car and hawked a loogie like at him, at the windshield.

And it just went like, and it was just, it was my own vehicle, and I walked home and let him drive my car over the river. Over the estuary. And we were screaming at each other. We had another one. Norman was there for this one. I first started hanging with Norman a long time ago. We were on pills and booze and up, and we got in a fight because we were talking

to our favorite comedians of all time, and this friend of mine said Mark Twain was his favorite comedian. were talking to our favorite comedians of all time and this friend of mine said uh mark twain was his favorite comedian mark twain and i was like he's not a fucking comedian he's like he look it up he did show like he would speak and they were jokes and you can read them and it's funny and there's recordings and i'm like but you know what we're talking about he's not a comic like you know you're being a fucking asshole right now And we were screaming and Norman was like you know 11 years old doing comedy for six weeks and just sitting there like Just horrified freaking me out. I was like fuck you just say Cosby you fucking piece of shit

I mean like screaming at each other so yeah Mark Twain same same yeah, same guy anyway So yeah, I could get like that when I was drinking was fun But never never the drinking and driving things, hilariously, I like that you don't care if the car flips, but you're like, well, I don't want to get pulled over. Yeah, and I drank and drove also plenty of times. You did that a lot. Yeah, I did that one time.

I called the cops. This is at the Cape Cod Comedy Lounge in Hyannisport. Sounds like something from the Family Guy. Cape Cod Comedy Lounge in Hyannisport. Well, it's funny because my buddy, he looked and sounded just like Peter Griffin. But anyways, I literally called the police the next morning because my car's stolen. And Hyannisport is where the Kennedys live. It's like a very nice area.

And I was like, that's it. My fucking car got stolen. What are you going to do? And I called the cops. And literally, they're taking down a report And everything And like Over the shoulder

Of one of the cops I just see in the distance My car is like Way over there Cause we went out The previous night Oh Like I

The car was parked here But I forgot We went for a nightcap And I drove And then reparked it over there Oh shit And I was like You know what

That's my My car's over there And it felt shit. And I was like, you know what? That's my, my car's over there. And it felt like this thing that, like, clearly I drove drunk, but it was the day before. Like, they were like, all right, dude, glad you found it. You fucking idiot. And I'm like, okay, thanks. Sorry about that.

That's tough. But anyways, so yeah. The drain and driving thing was never on the cards for me, thankfully. My parents were like, you know, I couldn't afford a car when I was in school. And my dad was like, I'm not going to help you. And he was like, for multiple reasons. One, because, you know, I don't have enough money to just throw you to get a car.

And two, you don't need a fucking car in college. You'll figure it out. You shouldn't be driving anyway. You're going to be drinking and you don't need it. Right. And I was bummed because, you know, like a lot of guys i knew had them because tempe is spread out you were just you know it's not a you can walk around the campus right but if i wanted to go to someone's house it was impossible right so he's like you'll figure it out get a bike or a skateboard

you know and i was like whatever and then sure enough like my second year into asu legitimately couldn't have been happier all and i mean all of my friends had DUIs. Yeah. And all of them had spent time in Tent City. You know about Tent City? No. In Phoenix? There was this, you know, well-known Sheriff Joe Arpaio, who's no longer there.

He used to put people with DUIs in the desert. You'd live in a tent, and you'd wear pink jumpsuits, and they'd give you bologna sandwiches. Wow. You've never heard of this lore? No. Sheriff Joe Arpaio? I don't think so.

It was a, I mean, tent city I think is still out there, but it was a big deal. And this guy was, no, it's done now. Yeah, they just did. Yeah, they just did. It was a big deal. It was, I mean,

it's definitely a violation of human rights. You have to sleep outside. In the middle of the day, you'd be in a tent. It'd be like 125 cooking in Phoenix. That's insane. And he'd put men in pink jumpsuits to, you know, as to demean them.

And you'd get bologna and mayonnaise sandwiches. Most of my friends did it multiple times. Wow. My buddy Shu did it, had two DUIs, and then they tell you the third one, three strikes and you're out. And so after his second DUI, he had a breathalyzer. They put a breathalyzer in your car. Yeah. And when the program was done, they were ready to remove it, and he took it to the place and asked

to pay for it to keep it in there, because he didn't trust himself. He was like, can you just keep it in here so I don't ever drink and drive ever again? Oh, that's thoughtful. And they were like, well, the state's not gonna pay for that. You have to. He's like, no, no, I understand. And they were like, okay. I mean, they had never heard someone, like, wanting to protect themselves more. He was like, uh,

they were like, you're an idiot? And he was like, no, no, no. It was the smartest thing he ever did. Yeah, that's very smart. He's like, just keep it in there. The machine's already there. He's like, can were like, you're an idiot? And he was like, no, no, no. It was the smartest thing he ever did. Yeah, that's very smart. He's like, just keep it in there. The machine's already there. He's like, can I just pay for the system to just continue to be in there? So what does that cost? It was a couple grand. Wow. Yeah. He had a couple of bucks in his pocket, I think. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. They wanted the system

back because it's theirs, you know, but he was like, I just want to keep it. I don't ever want to have to, you know, drink and drive again. Yeah, that's smart. That's right. We should have done that. Should have had a just want to keep it. I don't ever want to have to drink and drive again. Yeah, that's smart. We should have done that. Should have had a couple grand to throw around. I know. I should have kept drinking and just had a DUI machine. You don't miss it at all, though?

Not too much. I mean, every once in a while. But, I mean, you know, it sounds whatever is like they say, like don't think of the first drink. Think of the last drunk. Certainly a beer sounds nice when I'm hanging out. Like we did Norman's bachelor party. I'm like,

oh man, I would love to just get fucking ripped or the wedding, whatever. There's times where you're like, it'd be fun to get fucked up. But I'm like, I know where I, how it would end. I would just be like,

fuck. I texted my ex girlfriend. I sent a picture of my dick to my mother. I fucking fought a guy, whatever. And broke shit. In that order. Yeah. Text, text, my dick to my mother. I fucking fought a guy, whatever, and broke shit. In that order. Yeah, yeah. Text, text, send dick to mom, fight a guy. Yeah, so I don't miss it that way.

I love the mornings. I like to wake up in the morning and I'll run and meditate and whatever the fuck. You meditate, huh? Yeah, big meditator. You do yoga? I used to do a lot of yoga. I don't really anymore. No. I mean, I stretch in the morning because I'm old and I like to do athletic things.

Stretch and run, that's your biggest thing when you exercise is running? I run, I play pickleball this morning, I'll play tennis. Cardio I have to do competitively. The idea of like, you know, running on a treadmill or doing jumping jacks or something is not fun to me. But yeah, I'll run or pickleball, tennis, basketball, whatever.

I will say late night runs in Los Angeles in the summer, every time it turns summer nights here, I can't wait to run at night. It's my favorite because the air is usually really calm. There's, like, no wind, and it's, like, 70 degrees, and I can run for hours. It's, like, shocking sometimes. I'll have run seven miles. Wow. And be like, holy shit. It's like shocking sometimes. I'll run seven miles. Wow. And be like, holy shit. I used to run a lot more.

I had hairline fractures in my back a couple years ago, and I had to fix that through a lot of therapy, which sucked. But back then, I was running five to seven every day, if not every other day. Yeah, I used to run like that. And I loved it, too. Yeah. But night runs.

Night runs are my favorite. I don't like during the day because, you know, the sun is no bueno. Right, right. But I love night runs in the summer because my favorite. I don't like during the day because, you know, the sun is no bueno. Right, right. But I love night runs in the summer because the temperature is literally perfect. Yeah. No, L.A. is the best. It is pretty good. You could never be out here, though.

No, I love it. I mean, for me, I don't know how you guys work the road. And now it becomes easier, obviously, when you're extremely successful because you can get first class or fly out the day before, nice hotel, all that. But working the road from L.A. just seems like such a fucking nightmare. But New York is far, too. So for me, if I could have gone back in time, I would have told myself to be central. I'd have been like, go.

Right. It'd be easier to fly out of, like, Dallas or Chicago or Nashville. But New York, though, it's like so many markets over there. I mean, like Columbus, Cleveland, Detroit, whatever the fuck, Buffalo, D.C., Philly, those are all 90-minute flights or not flights at all. Even like Tampa is like a two-hour flight. Yeah, no, it's way easier on the East Coast for sure. And you're not working against the clock where L.A.,

you're three hours behind all of those markets. Yeah. So you got to fly out early or whatever, and the one airport sucks. But I love L.A. I mean, I could have done it. It's weird because now, I don't know if you're similar, like we're getting to an age where like you start to think about life. You're like, because now I don't know if you're similar Like We're getting to an age Where like you start to

Think about life You're like Oh I won't Ever do that Yeah Like it's like Oh there's things I'm like

Oh what if I had lived in LA And I'm like Oh that's Gone It's over now Yeah yeah Half my life is over Well you could just make the change

Now that you're having a kid too It's like make the change We're actually We're actually making A little bit of a move But We want some changes in life So We are going to do Something different Because make the change we're actually we're actually making a little bit of a move but uh we want some changes in life so we are going to do something different because i what exactly what

you said almost as like an add-on to it i did say well i don't know if i want to spend another 20 years here right and we both were like i don't know if i want to spend another 20 years here either i've i've almost like done my time here yeah Yeah, yeah. That's how I feel about New York. Yeah, it's like you did your time. And so maybe now time for something else. Because I do think, you know, once you're established to some degree, you can kind of duck out to somewhere else and still be a part of the culture of the other place.

Yeah, yeah. You can. I want to move to Jersey, like Jersey Shore. You like it down there? Yeah, I want to be near the ocean. I like the ocean. I like Jersey. I do like Jersey.

I want to be near the woods and grass. And I'm having a child. I live in Queens, which is suburban New York City, if that makes sense. It's like being in the valley, I guess, or whatever. But for my kid to sit in grass, we have to, like, take a train. I have to walk up three flights of stairs with a stroller and a baby and then, like, walk eight blocks to be like, here's what grass is. And there's, like, an elevated train and there's hobos and fucking all that stuff.

And, yeah, I just would, like, have a backyard. I want to smoke a cigar in my backyard and see stars. Is this going to happen, you think, or no? Yeah, I think so. You do want to make it happen. Yeah, yeah. Does she want to leave Queens? No, but I'm calling the shots. You this going to happen, you think, or no? Yeah, I think so. You do want to make it happen. Yeah, yeah. Does she want to leave Queens? No, but I'm calling the shots.

You're calling the shots, baby. No, I think she gets it. She's worried about being away from the city, and it is. It's a change, obviously, but... Is it really that far? It's like an hour car ride or train ride. Yeah, but for you to get from Queens in the city to half an hour? That's how I feel. I'm like, late at night, if you're taking the subway it can be 45 50 minutes right so

what's the difference yeah you just do it in a car yeah see i never understood that the same thing about la like people also have this like mismanagement of time in their brain where like where we are you know we're not i'm 15 minutes over the hill to the to the city and people be like oh the valley it's so far and you're like what what do you mean when the hill to the city, and people will be like, oh, the valley, it's so far, and you're like, what? What do you mean? When you live in the city sometimes, it takes people that I know that live in the city, and I say in the city,

we don't really have a city, but in the center of Los Angeles, it takes them just as long to get to the comedy store that it does for me because they've got to go through all the bullshit. I'm just going into it from one angle. So it always makes me confused. I just think people's time management

they see it as like well if i'm closer to it it's easier you're like not always well i feel like people just naturally you present something that's different than what they know or a change they're like no that's stupid yeah don't do that yeah or people also when they and i'm sure i'll be the same way when they do something like do what i did did. You got to do what I did. And you're like, well, I don't want to do what you did. And they're like, but please do it. Validate my dumb decision. Please do what I did. But I'll be that guy too.

I'll move to, I'll be like, come down here. We've got the ocean. Come on. Yeah, but that's also like when you're starting a family, it makes the most sense when you're like, we have to duck out and change something. Because I feel like all my friends that did that are happier now that they instigated a change with the kid because I know some people

that didn't and they stayed in the spot and they were like, it was fucking driving us nuts and we finally had to leave whatever the spot was. Yeah, I think raising a kid in New York City

is fucking inhumane and like... It's crazy. They're just going to be like all like twitchy and fucked up which I already am and I wasn't even raised in the fucking city. Wait till your kid starts vaping. Right out of the womb it's going to be all twitchy and fucked up, which I already am. I wasn't even raised in the fucking city. Wait till your kid starts vaping.

Right out of the womb, it's going to vape. Yeah, he's going to be all fucked up and crazy. I don't know. There's too much. Also, I was saying this because I was just in Irvine for three days at the improv, and it's very affluent. I'm like, I forgot what it's like

to not be clocking every single person from walking around L.A. and New York. Literally every person. You're like, I forgot what it's like to not be clocking every single person. Yes. From walking around L.A. and New York, like literally every person. You're like, what's this guy? Okay, he seems, he's got a nice shoe. He must be okay. What's that guy? Why is he yelling?

You know, it takes energy. There's like bandwidth being used up. Totally. By seeing like, am I in danger? Is this danger? And that's without a fucking baby. Yeah, now when you have one, you're even more on high alert. Irvine's like robotic.

No one even exists. It's almost like they're holograms of people. I had never been there before, and I was like, now I'm getting older, I got a little bit of money. I'm like, this is all right. I like this. Orange County is very nice. It's super isolated.

It's its own world. They don't even associate with us. This is yuck town up here. That's fantasy land. That's like, oh, everything is okay. There's super low crime levels. Like, they don't worry the way that we worry in L.A. about bullshit. Yeah, it feels like.

No one's going to steal your catalytic converter in Irvine, you know? It feels like if a homeless person walked through that mall where the Irvine improv, they would just fucking shoot them and throw him in the ocean it's like by his belt and be like sorry everybody sorry for the uh blood we'll get that up the moment he steps onto a piece of the irvine mall he just evaporates they're like yeah we just built a new system for hobo evaporation to get rid of these scum they all they're up here big time there is they're the worst they've ever, which is not a reason for me to move, but it's a bummer. It's great.

Well, Hollywood has always had a little bit of seediness. Oh, it's worse now, yeah. But yeah, I was here a month ago when you blew me off, and I was driving up Hollywood Boulevard, and I was like, this is fucking wild. Because downtown was always crazy. It still is gross, yeah. But I mean, and someone just told me, it was always crazy it still is gross yeah but i mean

and someone just told me it was always 60 000 homeless people was the number i just heard it was more like 73 or 74 000 now god i don't know which is like the coliseum number i would have assumed it's more than that i feel like it's in the hundred thousand what is it now over 75 i bet you it's closer to 100 that's's more than a Morgan Wallen show. That's insane. By the way, how could they document that? That's one of those weird stats where you're like, they count it? They're just walking around.

Yeah. One. Oh, this guy. Two. Sir, please don't move. Sir. You're talking to like mentally ill people hoping they stay put. No, I bet you there's so many more than we could ever wrap our little heads around. Well, L.A. too, there's much more of an edge to the

homeless people here it feels a lot more like i don't know what drug or whatever well because you're allowed to do drugs in the sun so it promotes this like air of uh i can do this forever in new york it's like those homeless people are like fighting for their lives out here they think they can get away with it for as long as they can and then that probably creates some sort of like anger when it doesn't continue to be as fun as it used to be right right like people in new york probably doing drugs just like people that are that are homeless that are on something are probably doing it just so they can survive out here they're like i thought i was gonna live this way forever it was a party i was fucking partying on Hollywood Boulevard. You know, I was fucking doing smack, dancing on the Lucille Ball star. Like, it's almost like too fun to do drugs out here that you get homeless.

If you're homeless doing them, it's probably like a dreamscape instead of like a hellscape. Yeah, yeah. I always think it's funny, people that come to la on vacation because it never occurred to me i guess my family were from the east coast so it was like people went to disney world nobody was like we're going to hollywood yeah i mean i'm also from the suburbs whatever but you see like tourists and they must think because like nobody that's never been here isn't from here in show business has any idea like what hollywood the neighborhood is people think hollywood obviously they think of the hollywood hills and fucking you know well they really think of beverly

street yeah exactly they think of that thing yeah yeah i mean hollywood if you went to like take us to hollywood you'd be like get us the fuck out of here go back to lax this is nuts no it is it's like uh when they when i always say whenever they show like the laker games staple centers is that is downtown they'll always have sweeping shots of like Beverly Hills and then the ocean. You're like, that's 35 miles away. Yeah, yeah. That's literally like showing Yankee Stadium

and then showing something in Jersey. And you're like, these things are nowhere near each other. Well, they do that with the Yankees and stuff too. They'll do like the Empire State Building in downtown. You're like, what is this? No, no, show the fucking South Bronx is where we're at. Show the place where it's at. I'm happy that you're in town.

You're such a funny dude. We're on a show together tonight. Yes. I'm excited because finally I can see you. I had to duck out and go to the other spot. Do you want to plug anything right now? Yeah, sure. Before I let you fly.

I don't know when this comes out, but I have a new special coming out August 18th on YouTube. August 18th on the YouTube. Yes. Joe List special called? Called Enough for Everybody. Enough for Everyone. Yes. Enough for Everybody. Yes. And there's another one that is also currently there because it's YouTube. This will be my third YouTube special. There's one called I Hate Myself and there's one called This Year's Material. Those are out now and we'll put the link in the description below for you guys of all three of those specials to watch. Please support it. Is there a place where they click to give money?

Do you put that up there or no? Yeah, that'll be in the comment thing when it comes out. I had a conversation with a few other comics that put it up on YouTube. Like, oh, I don't know if I should. 100% you should. If you're giving away the special for free, what's it to a fan to give a couple of bucks? Yeah, no.

I think, why the fuck not? I know there's weird, some people are like, oh, I don't know if I want it. It's like, why? No, yeah, I made, I mean, I didn't make, I lost money. But I may, I got, I received money, quite a bit of money from people doing that, three bucks, five bucks. If you're a real fan of mine and want to support us,

please support Joe. Thank you. Watch the specials, donate, because putting up content for you guys that we do every single fucking day if not week, depending on who we are, it costs a lot of the money to do the thing, so it's nice

that you can put up the special for free for people to watch, so hopefully they'll share some of that love and share it around to people that you know. Spread the word. We end the show the same way. You look into that camera right there. You say one word or one phrase. It used to be a long time ago.

It was a word. And people were like, I don't fucking have one word. So they did a phrase. You can pick one word or one phrase to end the episode. It'll be embedded in history forever. This will end up in the Smithsonian. I'm calling it now.

Whenever you're ready, look into that camera and say one word or one phrase. Oh God. Yeah. I gave you enough time to think about it. All right. Suck your own dick. In here, we pour

whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey. You're that creature in the ginger beer. Sturdy and ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are beautiful. You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse. Gingers are hell no.

This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers.