Whiskey Ginger with Andrew Santino - John Stamos

Episode Date: November 10, 2023

Have Mercy it's John Stamos! The Greek god graced the show with his appearance to promote his New York Time bestselling book: If you would have told me. What a great time Santino had on this one! Except for maybe John's face to face with his mom. You'll just have to watch to watch to find out. #johnstamos #whiskeyginger #andrewsantino #podcast ============================================= SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS RABBIT HOLE $5 OFF with Promo Code: WHISKEY https://rabbitholedistillery.com/drizly BETTER HELP Get the help you need from a licensed professional 10% off your first month https://betterhelp.com/whiskey IBOTTA Easy Cash Back Everywhere You Shop DOWNLOAD APP *Google Play Store & Apple App Store* USE CODE: Whiskey ========================================= Follow Andrew Santino: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ https://twitter.com/CheetoSantino Follow Whiskey Ginger: https://www.instagram.com/whiskeyging... https://twitter.com/whiskeyginger_ Produced and edited by Joe Faria IG: @itsjoefaria Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Welcome back to the show. If it's your first time joining the show, welcome to the show. We've got a good one for you today. Like my man Steve Harvey Dunn say, it's John Stamos. What a handsome Greek god. He's out touring around talking about his brand new book, if you would have told me. Brand new memoir. It's incredible.

We tell some stories from the book itself and so much other juicy goodness in there for John Stamos. Congratulations on the book. Very successful. When we did this, I think it was number four on that bestseller list. So go pick it up or listen to it if you want to hear his sweet, sweet voice. Also, I'm on tour for a couple more dates. This year, me and Bubby Lee were doing stand-up and bits from Bad Friends. Go to badfriendspod.com.

We're in Milwaukee, Chicago, Minneapolis, then Madison. Then we do a bunch of new dates in the new year, like Atlantic City, Tucson, Sacramento, Reno. We're all over the place. Go to badfriendspod.com

for those tickets. Badfriendspod.com. Enough rambling from me. Let's go to the episode. In here, we pour whisk, whisk, whisk, whisk, whiskey. You're that creature in the ginger beard.

Sturdy and ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are beautiful. You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse. Gingers are hell no. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Whiskey Ginger. My guest today is one of my favorite people in the North. I say gingers. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Whiskey Ginger. My guest today is one of my favorite people in the world. I say that for all my guests, but I mean it once again. Today, you've said that before. It is a beautiful,

wonderful, intelligent, sweet, smart, composed, great head of hair, John Stamos. Now,

we got you two different bottles of water. You can choose whichever one you want. Can I say, I'm a big fan of yours. Nah, come on, don't. Let me just, that choose whichever one you want. Can I say I'm a big fan of yours? Nah, come on. Don't. Let me just, that's what I do. Okay.

I compliment first. Well, then wait till I compliment you because I finally read a book. That was your first book. That was my whole book. Listen, after To Kill a Mockingbird, I hadn't read a book till I read your book. Kind of the same. It's pretty, there's a lot of similarities. So, I was flipping around Netflix about, excuse me, a year ago.

I got something from McComb. Yeah. McComb. But by the way, McComb, that's even funnier. Yeah, McComb. I'm not going to call him by his right name. Tell me something honestly real quick before you move on to the Netflix thing. Because you do have what a head of hair.

Take off your hat real fast. We had an argument yesterday. He's got good hair, but pull it back. He's worried he's going to go bald because his dad is bald. What do we think? Yeah, he's going to, yeah. Yeah, I know. I told you yesterday. How old are you?

McCarn. 24. Got to get it done. Yeah. We told him yesterday, get it done. You can go to Turkey or somewhere now. Oh, yeah. Just get it done.

We said we're going to create a fund. But if you do it early on, you're not going to go bald. You look great. And you would probably be a handsome bald guy anyway. So I'm flipping around. I want to get to Beach Boys stuff in a great. And you would probably be a handsome bald guy anyway. So I'm flipping around. I want to get to Beach Boys stuff in a second. And my wife and I love watching comedy. And I'm obsessed with stand-up comedy.

Yeah, I know that. And you. And so I'm walking. And I said, this guy, first of all, he's too good looking. You get these arms and you walk out there. I cut my arms out, yeah. And you have this great face. You're too handsome to be funny.

And then you started off with something. I was like, oh, okay. Then you get into your dad having COVID. Then that vibrator up your friend's ass. face too handsome to be funny and then you and then you started off with something like okay then you get into your dad having covid then you that that vibrator up your friend's ass it was a doctor yeah and we're crying laughing so hard i couldn't believe how smart i mean you just didn't i hadn't seen you before great and um i was just really blown away you were really really fucking funny and then i just started checking you out on stuff and did yannis is he the one that got us on here yanni yeah yanni has been on the show a few times i've been friends with him for a long time he's one of my old old buddies and a great guy oh we

should call him if you want because i just i would love to and he says so many good things about you and i said yeah i said like get stamos to me and i'll decide that's what i am i say you get him here and i'll decide and he did link it up up. But your depth of comedy in terms of being linked to the world is similar to a lot of guys, kind of like how Mayer is too, where people wouldn't maybe know that you're a massive comedy fan unless they knew your relationships with people in comedy. You know, and Saget being one of your old best buddies. Were you friends with Bob?

No, you know what's so funny is I met him, but I wouldn't ever. A lot of guys say that they know people, but they don't know him. If you die on this show, it'll be great for the numbers. I'm not going to lie. Yeah, I might have something. You have something?

No, no, no, no. I was, but I just got off this book tour and I met about 20,000, I shook hands with about 20,000 people. Yeah, you're sick. So then I'll take it back out. I'm just happy to be a man.

No, I didn't know Bob. Right. And a lot of people do that thing when a celebrity, especially if a celebrity passes where they go, we were so close and they didn't know him. So. And a lot of people do that thing when a celebrity, especially if a celebrity passes where they go, we were so close, and they didn't know him. So I would never pretend. But I met him and was always a very nice, cordial dude,

but I didn't know much about him. I think you guys would have got along great. Well, I enjoyed him from a distance. Yeah, he was one of a kind, which is hard to be these days. So fucking smart, so funny. It took me years. You know, we didn't like each other at first. On the show?

On the show, yeah, when we started. You said you read the book. Yeah, what show was it? Full House? Doesn't ring a bell? But no, you didn't like each other at first.

And I would never admit to him that he was so brilliantly funny. He was, but he had, you know, he had comic Tourette's. Like, he was addicted to laughs.

Yeah. And some of you guys aren't. I see that you're cool If it's if you laugh at that but he had to have it and he wasn't getting it on the show Because it just took a more I'll to figure out what made that character funny So he was just all he cared about was could the crew making them love which was fine, but very distracting Yeah, yeah, and his process was different than mine, so it took a little while so how like how long did you find when did you finally admit that you kind of liked the guy to yourself oh well i to myself i always said i always knew that he was brilliant a comic he he was so fast when did you kind of realize that you were like was there a moment where you're like you know what i actually do like this guy why am i doing because, because I know as a small time actress myself, I've done a few things. I know, you're on Dave.

Well, yeah, and then sometimes you go, I don't know if I like that person. We don't really click or mesh. And then you give it some time and you go, I'm wrong, man. And I think that happens a lot because there's two really like big personalities. And you're also burgeoning stars. That show was making you guys stars. So everyone's kind of

rising in these weird ways and it's, I don't know bet that that that hinders your openness to being like i bet you this guy is actually okay yeah you're right it did take away and you know he i i this i did a show jack klugman before called you again he played my dad you know jack yeah and he was you know he's a brilliant man but we would dissect every scene and why am I saying this and why would I cross here and let's work on this. And then on Tuesdays, they had a punch-up night

and he would have Gary Marshall, Harvey Miller, Jerry Belson, these titans of kings of comedy. Goliaths. And Jack would make me sit in the corner and say, don't say anything but watch. And I'd watch these guys work a scene

and reconstruct a scene and find the heart of a scene. Jack would always say, where's the love scene? Because we'd yell at each other the whole time, like the odd couple. Where's the love scene? And we'd put something nice. So I came from that. Bob came from, here's my cock, here's my dick. He would be like,

I hate my, he would take a fork in the middle of a rehearsal, or if the audience was there at the beautiful full house, iconic kitchen table, and take a fork and stab him pretend to stab himself say I hate my cock and you know

try to stab his penis he would do were the producers ever scared of this what about the mothers or the kids I mean yeah

they would get he would get a talking to once in a while and Dave too but you know so that didn't really go with my process yeah

but eventually you know maybe season 3 I can't remember really go with my process. Yeah. But eventually, you know, maybe season three or four, I can't remember, but Bob's sister got scleroderma and Bob spent his whole life, uh, raising money for a cure to that. I don't know if you have done any of those comedy things.

And then, um, and then Dave's sister got cancer and then they found a brain tumor in my sister, my sister's head and Bob's sister died and and dave's sister died luckily my sister's misdiagnosed with um ms so she did okay but that's when we bonded we weren't just three guys on a show we were three brothers you know grieving their sis our sisters and we put our differences aside and and started to learn from each other i think yeah that's that's the best

part of growing do Do you think, and I have to say this, because it's right there, do you think Full House gave all your sisters the disease? Do you think it was because of Full House? I think if we're going to blame it on something. Because I know they watched it a lot, and I know... Did you watch that? Oh, you're 40. I'm 40, and Full House was a definite feature of my...

Sisters? Well, my sister is 10 years younger than me, 9 years younger than me, but it was a definite feature of my sisters? Well, my sister is ten years younger than me, nine years younger than me. But it was a feature of something I saw all the time. It was in the zeitgeist of America. It was embedded into the culture of America. It was something you avoided.

No, it's not true. I would watch a couple episodes. You know what it really was to me? A nightlight? Had a big time crush on someone on the show. Can you guess who? Me. No. No chance.

You're not my type. Well, you're showing your asshole to Giannis, which we need to talk about this. It disturbed me. Who do you think I had a crush on on the show? Lori. Kimmy Gibbler, dude. No shit. Kimmy Gibbler.

You're a weirdo. You know what it was? Yeah, she was like off and goofy and strange and I liked it. She kind of... She had like some darkness to her. She wasn't tied up. Something was so off about her that it was like she was like off and goofy and strange and i like that she kind of she had like some darkness to her she wasn't tied up something was so off about her that it was like i was into it were you are is that your bag like you're into like weird yeah weirdos look at this fucking idiot i keep a bunch of bozos around here yes i do dude never mind that's how you get employed over here whiskey ginger studios is your dad still around i got two of them yeah gay i got two of them yeah

they're both gay that's yeah well one of them just found out because he was married to my dad and he found out he was gay by marrying my father that's when he knew that's when he really found like if i'm not gay i'm blowing guys for no reason right he took what am i doing and they both came back gay oh i took it is there 23 and me is it what do you spit into it's all it's just called me and me yeah it's called me and me no i got my dads are alive my dad but my my biological father and my stepfather. And I like to rub that in on people that have lost their father. but do you have a gay,

two gay parents? No. No, sadly, I'm sorry. I'm leaving. I know. That was such a good, but you, so,

but you came from a broken, world? Yeah, I'm Irish Catholic and Italian. My parents got divorced when I was one, before I was one years old.

Wow. And I saw some weird, wild shit. Was it your fault? Yeah, it was. It was. Look at him. I was one before I was one years old and I saw some was it your fault yeah it was look at him I hate you I hate you too that was it huh

I think it was I don't want to raise this thing it's a creature it's red and I don't like it who had the red hair my mother's mother

was a Lucy a little Irish lady yeah can you imagine Lucille Ball my mother was Catholic Irish too. But you're a Greek God.

You're not Irish. My dad was Greek. Yeah, I know. But you don't look like us, dude. You come to my land, we kick you right out. Too pretty. Get out of here, dude.

When did you start being funny? Like when did you know you were funny? I think when people made fun of me as a kid right i went to the i went to school in chicago when i was a kid and i was single mother and i was insecure about a lot of stuff and then you know i would go on the playground and people would say stuff about you know opie taylor they would that was a big one for people that don't know that yeah that's that was Andy Griffith. Or like, you know, Howdy Doody.

The black dudes always loved that shit. Yo, here go Howdy Doody in this motherfucker. Look at Howdy Doody walking down the hallway. Hey, Howdy. And they would, you know, they'd fuck with you.

And then as soon as I learned to fuck with them back and people laughed because I thought all these thoughts that were quicker than what people were making fun of me for. You're fast. And I just didn't say them because I was scared I was going to get in trouble or something.

And I think I probably started saying them, you know, around fourth grade, fifth, fourth, third, fourth, fifth grade. And you'd snap back. And then everyone laughed at mine. And then I just realized I was like, oh, shit, I should. All these weirdo thoughts I have, I should utilize them. Yeah. For you guys, and you're a great one at that. Bert, I just did his thing a couple weeks ago.

He's so funny. You guys just get up on the stage and tell these stories and make them so fucking funny. And that's what I just love. We try. By the way, I wanted to tell you this. This reminded me.

The first time I saw Bob at the factory, I want to say. I think I was at the factory. And it was when I first moved to LA. And all I knew of Bob Saget was Bob Saget from what I'd seen on TV. I didn't really know he was a stand-up when I first moved to LA and all I knew of Bob Saget was Bob Saget from what I'd seen on TV I didn't really know

he was a stand up when I was younger and then he starts off with a bit about the Olsen twins no the Olsen twins

one of them blowing him while one of them is like putting stuff in his butt and they were trying to see if it could go all the way through his butt and she could taste it from the front

and I was like holy shit I mean it was like a shock from the front. And I was like, holy shit. I mean, it was like a shockwave. I had no idea. I was like, is this? I mean, I think I asked somebody. I was like, is this what he does? I had no idea.

Did you ever see The Aristocrats? Yeah, of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Were you in that? No. Too young. No. I want to go back to, I brought,

you probably got to be a fan of Rickles, right? I mean, huge. And we could talk about him. He was like a second father to me. But I finally got... So Howard Stern, you know... Have you been on Howard? No, I've only done the wrap-up show.

Yeah, they won't put me on the real one yet. We'll get you on the real one. Yeah. One day, one of these days. I just did it last... I mean, I've known him a long time. And anyway, so I brought... So he always told me that Rickles...

He said, you don't know Rickles. I said, well, I kind of do, you know. And he said that Rickles was his number one influence, why he got into comedy. And him and his mother used to watch Rickles on the, you know, Tonight Show or whatever it is. So I finally got Rickles to come in, but I didn't tell anybody.

So I said to, I came in, I said, hey, guys, I just kind of showed up when they were doing the news. I said, I don't mean to interrupt, but I got this new girlfriend and I want you guys to, I want your approval. Let me know what you think of her. I said, come on in, and Rickles walks in, and they hit the, they couldn't fucking believe it. It's amazing.

Already, you know, almost stopped doing heroin. Just to straighten up for a second. And they both, it was a beautiful, you should watch this on YouTube. They both connected on being, you know, like you said, like being picked on at school, and they had to be funny yeah and don told us the whole story about that and then and howard stood up he called him mr rickles took his glasses off it was really a special moment and um uh howard said you know the same thing happened to me when i was kids oh really yeah you look like a jew zulu you called him what is that come over jew zulu uh so i get that i was picked on too i didn't um it didn't make me funnier i got a black guy from a great asshole i know i read that in your book that you see you got you got socked out

was that the only time you ever got knocked out or punched i think so but i've but but there's been so many years of people wanting to kill me. There was always someone that's, even to this day, I think it's him, McCormick. Yeah, but the only reason that, but back then it was just because people were mean and kids are assholes. Now it's because you're you. You're beautiful and successful. That's why they wanted to beat me up? Yeah, man, the hotter and cooler you are and the more successful you are, the more people want to punch you.

The guys, there's a chapter that I cut out of the book where I talked about Mickey Rourke. There was for years he wanted to, I had a death threat on Full House. Talked about that a little bit, but it didn't make the book. And then Mickey Rourke. Give me the death threat. What are you talking about? Yeah, I can't, I can't get disgraced by that, huh? Yeah, that's insane. I had a death threat, but so Mickey Rourke, no, that's a huge, but I'm sure, I'm sure you've had your, a litany of stalkers as time has gone on. Yes? Well, yeah, but we didn't really, you know, you didn't know about him because there wasn't the internet and everything.

So there was a guy who showed up on, on, uh, we were shooting it on a Sony lot and he showed up across the street at the, at another lot, but the dummy thought we were there shooting for him. And he, and he said to somebody, he said, you know where John Stamos is? And the woman was like, uh, no. And, uh to somebody, he said, do you know where John Stamos is? And the woman was like, no. And why? He said, because I want to kill him. He said, oh, I don't know where he is, the lady.

And then she ran to the security and they didn't get him. Then he even started to call the ABC, the hotline, or whatever it is, and say, I'm going to kill Stamos. So it got intense. And I remember going into the room, the producers, they said said you know so everything's okay but somebody want to kill you

I'm like how's that everything okay don't worry about it we had this security guy and they had this FBI guy you know live with me practically for like two weeks

two three weeks and he took me to a place and bought a gun and everything it was a real trip so he was staying at your house yeah in my house

what and I kept trying to ditch him like an idiot and stuff it turned out the guy was just a jealous idiot or something. Although Saget had a funny thing. Before the show, we would do this sort of huddle. We would just make up. We would go, and break.

And then usually Coulier would say, you know, don't ever poop in your shoe or something like that. And then it was, someone's going to kill John. Can I have your parking spot john when you die or something bob said uh mickey rourke wanted to kill me because so i was dating this girl and we we broke up and i was in i was at the china club in new york with uh kin schreiner from general hospital and and funny enough um ray liotta was. And it was before Goodfellas, I think. And Ken and Ray were on a soap together.

And so he joins us. And we're sitting there, and the girl, this Mickey Rourke comes in with this girl that I was dating. And she goes by, and then she comes back out. Hey, Terry, hi, hi. How you doing? Great, great. And it's great to see you. Look at that.

Dating a big time. It was in his prime, too, man. And I said, oh, great. And, and, it's great to see you. Look at that. Dating a big time. It was in his prime too, man. Yeah. And, I said, oh, okay. She goes to the restroom and then Ken goes,

Mickey Rourke's married, man. What's he doing with that girl? Oh, I don't know. It seems, comes back out. Okay. Oh,

one more thing. What are you doing with a married guy? Like, I told this girl, like an idiot. And Ken's like kicking me on the table.

Oh, I don't know. He's separate, whatever. She goes back and then we're carrying on and all of a sudden they hear this rumbling and they were in the VIP room and we were at the bar.

And the manager of the place comes in. You gotta leave. I go, why? Mickey Rourke wants to kill you. What do you mean Mickey Rourke? What did I do? I'm not leaving.

No, I would leave, John. I'm not leaving. I'm gonna sit here and if he wants to talk, what did I do? I'm not leaving. No, I would leave, John. I'm not leaving. I'm going to sit here and if he wants to talk, what did I do? I didn't know. She went back and said what I said to her.

And then Ken says, well, I know him. And so he goes and he comes back to me and he goes, he just broke a bottle and he wants to slash your face open.

Let's get the fuck out of here. And for 10 years, it was no matter where I went, somehow he was at these restaurants and things. He's like, Mickey Rourke,

he's here. You better leave. I'm like, I'm not. So that went on for a while. You never buried the hatchet with a guy, huh? No. He could still want to kill you. I know. I don't want him to. I don't want him to either. Good God.

But guys are now, now they're different. But we're all over the place. You were talking about. No, I like being all over the place. That's my favorite. Bullying. I had this guy. It was right when I realized that girls... I was a goofy, dorky kid. You say that in the book, but how much of that is...

I can show you pictures. I see the photos. My mom covered my face when she brought me home from the hospital because I was so ugly. No. She told the neighbors we got a pet monkey. She didn't do that, but she did cover... I'm funnier than you. We went to the San Diego Zoo We picked this thing up

This thing up yeah We call him Johnny So you said you were picked on Cause what You the big nose thing Was the thing you said Yeah but I was also I was into puppets and magic

And you know things that aren't Girls don't really like Did you take the gay test? Uh What is the gay test? You failed just by saying that That's a big fail No no no

We got one What do you mean? No You were a big saying that. That's a big fail. No, no, no. We got one. What do you mean? No. You were a big Disney guy too, right? I'd say gay adjacent. Gay adjacent, right next door. Yeah. No, I'm not.

I've done a lot of theater though too. Yeah, well, so you said it, not me. No, but you, so. No, no, but you. I started to become, I think the butterfly, right? Out of the caterpillar thing. But I didn't know it. And this kid that I knew said,

so-and-so wants to go, she thinks you're really cute and wants to go out with you. Don't tell anybody because I told everybody. And I was at this block party, and I was at the dorky house, and I told everyone, and I got down to the cool house, and there was a football player who was her boyfriend.

He came and, bam, popped me right in the eye, black eye. Did you ever get in a fight? You probably are a fighter, right? Yeah, oh, my God. Chicago. Yeah. East side. No, we were just, fighting was kind of fun.

Really? I mean, I didn't like it after some point. You know, when I got to college, I didn't like it anymore, because it was always, like, bro-bros, drunk guys, assholes. I went to Arizona State, where people were begging to fist fight for no reason. What did you study there? What did I study there? You want to be a doctor or something?

Journalism and minor in English. Have you ever written a book? I told you, I finished yours. You said that sex hurt. I didn't say read. You said that sex hurt. We didn't finish the bully story. Did it hurt?

I don't, yeah. I was like, this is what the world, the first time, not recently. But when you said that, I didn't finish the bully did it did it did it hurt i don't uh yeah i was like this is what the world revolved the first time not not recently but when you said i didn't get it what do you mean sex hurt it just it hurt the the it just was ask yannis you guys have had sex so this this fucking this this this on this thing he yanni says are you are you uh red all over and this guy gets stands up and pulls his pants down and spreads his ass cheeks. Yeah, I show him. But why at the park? That was weird.

People were picnicking around that. Yeah, I hope their meals are done because they have to watch. I can't get out of my, it's like the two girls in one cup or something. Like, I can't get out of my thick cliff. You stood up and you spread your cheeks. Yeah, people that want to see, I spread my cheeks cheeks to Giannis On one of his episodes in New York And that's how we bond If you want it I'll give it to you babe

And it was like hey it's smooth Isn't it pretty yeah it's beautiful Guys don't say that to each other Guys who are secure with their masculinity do Oh yeah We're cronies No yeah we got in fights We did get in some fights as a kid but I didn't like it

I didn't enjoy it it wasn't fun it was just kind of like a it was a thing that happened right like in college one of my buddies Colin made me get into we got into fights because those guys were always something was always on the rise it was young filled with cum dumb college boys

drunk and yeah as an adult I don't want to get into a fight anymore. It hurts. But I had this black eye and I had to go to school. And there was no bully talk back then. There was no counselors. And it was so fucking humiliating. It is.

And I'll never forget. I said, I'm going to be, I looked, oh, he wrote in the mirror, I'm going to kill you big nose. And I was looking at it like, oh my God, I got to do something. I got to do something drastic. I'm going to kill you big nose. And I was looking at it like, oh my God, I got to do something. I got to do something drastic. I'm going to kill you big nose. Yeah. I said, I got to become famous.

This was my thinking. I'm going to become famous. I'll have bodyguards and they'll beat him up. And every level, every plateau that I hit in my career, I go,

nah, I'm going to show this asshole. Get on TV. I'm going to play with the Beach Boys and I'm going to invite him backstage and I'm going to beat him up during a drum solo and fuck him.

Now, I've gotten over it over the years have you? well I do wish to see him again you did play with the Beach Boys I've done all that stuff I mean you manifested it

yeah so I shouldn't really you really did say it but I do wanna see him again cause I don't think he's gonna read the book cause I don't think he reads but

he's a big fan of the show is he? you wanna say hi to him? say hi to your single right there that'd be great yeah if he likes he loves my show I get an email it's like you had on the one guy that i loathe more than anyone in the world i didn't have like a mortal enemy like that i had i had guys i had

people that i never wanted to see ever again and did you like when you started to become successful was it like fuck you guys you know, I never had any of that stuff. I never, I never, the only, yeah, I told you, I wish I could have said,

was there was a teacher who is now dead. There was a teacher who told my mother, she said, it was the first time my mom ever defended me and I really did mean a lot to me

because I was a rambunctious, wild kid. Did you have siblings? She was nine years younger than me. my parents just had me and then my mom got remarried so i had nothing except for my little sister oh yeah they divorced but we were so you know i graduated college before she got to high school the gap was massive so i was i she when she was a baby i she was on like a little ventilator and i remember holding her and it was like our gap was so big we didn't really grow up together but are you close are

you friends with her now I love her now yeah now we're good friends not because she's an adult you know what I mean it's funny it's like now we're friends because she's grown up and are both of your parents

still alive yeah are they super proud of you kind of what do they say like what did your dad say when he said why are you talking

about the COVID no no no he would say you do impressions I want to talk about that yeah my dad to comedy and anything I've ever done,

he's like, I'm glad you love it. But you make dough. You're so successful. Yeah, he doesn't. They don't care. They just want, they're like, they just wanted me to go float and be happy. But that was the thing I knew,

that moment with this teacher, this woman, Mrs. Rose. I'll never forget. She said to my mom, Rhodes, Rhodes. She said to my mother, um, is Andrew on medication? And my mother said, no, medication? And my mother said, no, why? And this is way before

everyone got on whatever the fuck that is. Is this in what grade? I was probably in, I don't even know. I want to say fifth grade. Something like that. Yeah, fourth or fifth grade.

Okay. And, uh... I just winked at Macron. Yeah, Macron. Just... Don't do that. He'll get hard. And she said to my mother, I just winked at McCrone. Yeah, McCrone. Don't do that. He'll get hard.

And she said to my mother, is he on, is he on medication? And my mom said, no. Why? And she goes, well, he really should be,

uh, because you were hyper. Yeah. Yeah. I just, a school or a traditional school was not good for me. It was bad. I couldn't do it.

Were you too smart? Were you ahead of everybody? I was probably quicker than I applied myself. Right. You know, but then she said, he really should be on medication. My mom said, no, I don't think you need to tell me what my fucking son should be on.

And she goes, well, I don't enjoy having him in my class. My mom was like, I'm sure he doesn't enjoy being in your fucking class. And then she grabbed my arm and she was like, let's go. And she was angry, but also proud of me in a weird way. Because she was like, you're an independent thinker. You're going to be this way your whole life. You're going to be different. Maybe it'll pay off, but I'm not going gonna punish you for being unique different i was just different yeah

yeah i didn't it didn't work for me did you what happened then did you go to another school or did you no i mean i just fucked off the rest of my mom just told me she was like just don't talk to her just shut your mouth in her class and get by right and cut it out because i don't want you to get kicked out of school because i got suspended all the time did you were you did you get great really good grades and everything i was just bees i was all bees but barely i didn't want you to get kicked out of school because i got suspended all the time did you were you did you get great really good grades and everything i was just b's i was all b's but barely i didn't do anything i got b's yeah i would get a sometimes i didn't even fucking show up i didn't get i didn't get them teach like i didn't want to learn about cutting fraught what was that gonna do but like no interest i said well it's you know it's it's a it's to see how

you learn it's a tool to learn i said what use the tool on shit i need like dealing with women you know later or a checkbook or whatever. Right. You know, they don't. So you were that. But did you struggle in school? I didn't try. I didn't.

You're like me. You didn't really do it. I barely got through it. I cheated a lot. And then they said, this asshole, they called me Stenos. Come on here, Stenos. Why? My name is Stenos.

I don't know. But Stenos? Is that an insult? No. Why? My name is Stainos. I don't know. But Stainos? Is that an insult? No, I just didn't get my name right. I don't think... Stay Moist would have been better. Stay Moist is way better. Right, that's what Macron... Stay Moist! Stay Moist. And you would have been like, you got it, baby! And so I wasn't going to graduate until I had library books. They didn't like

me. But then I went to that little room. Well, I couldn't, you know, a college. You went to college, right?

Barely. I went to Arizona State. Is that a party school? It's, it's, yeah. It's not Harvard. No.

It's not in the Ivy League. But you're more of an intellect than, I just never thought, school was never going to be for me, right? So I thought of, how can I get to California?

That was my whole secret. How do I get to the West Coast? Do you want to be on TV first? I just want to do comedy. going to be for me, right? So I thought of how can I get to California? That was my whole secret. How do I get to the West Coast? Did you want to be on TV first or stand-up? I just wanted to do comedy. All I wanted to do was comedy. I didn't care how I did it. I was just itching to do comedy. And I actually didn't know at the time I wanted to do stand-up.

I just thought, can I get to California so I can do comedy? Did you audition for TV shows and stuff? Yeah, yeah. I mean, when I first moved out, no, man. I didn't know anybody. I had nothing. So all I did when I first moved out was I tried background once. Did you really? What show? One time. No, no, yeah. I mean, when I first moved out, no, man. I didn't know anybody. I had nothing. So all I did when I first moved out was I tried background once. Did you really?

What show? One time. No, no, no. It was a College Humor was a website at the time. Oh, yeah. And I did a sketch with them. I think it was like a David Cross wrote it or something like that. I remember they baited us with a name and then we showed up that day.

None of those people were there. Right. And it was just me in the background of a field in Malibu, and I got sunburned, and I was like, I don't think I'll ever do this ever again. Right, right. But I thought, college humor, it's a comedy sketch, it's da-da-da-da, and fuck that.

It was, you know, what a bad idea. Bob and I did this great one called, it was the Snuggle Fest. I don't know if you ever saw it. I was teaching him how to cuddle in bed, and it was my patented technique. It was for college humor. And he didn't want to do it. He didn't want to do it because he thought it was this game. And then he loved it. It was my patented technique. It was for college humor. And he didn't want to do it.

He didn't want to do it because he thought it was this game. And then he loved it. It was really funny. You should check it out sometime. Snuggle Fest? Yeah. You teaching him how to snuggle?

Yeah. Are you a snuggler in real life? No. Well, my wife is. She wants to snuggle. You don't want it. I want to. Are you a big spoon or a little spoon?

Well, you have to watch the video. I talk all about that. You do? Yeah. Okay. You want to put it on now? Hi, I'm John Stamos, one of the most handsome men you could think of off the top of your head. Being a no to Lothario, people often ask me for sex advice. But guys, if you truly want to win

over a woman, the real key is the cuddle. So as my gift to you, here are the techniques of my patented Stamos Snuggle Fest. You and your lady will probably want to start with a Stamos Soother. She lies next to you, her head resting on your chest. Not only will she feel protected, the pitter-patter of your heart will reassure her that you're still alive. From this position, she could kiss your neck, caress your gallant chest while you run your fingers through her raven hair. Now don't be afraid to use your fingernails.

A good Stamos scalper will leave her relaxed and tingling. Next you'll want to move into the Stamos Spoonful. It's a gentle way to show your lady what she has to look forward to later. Traditionally the man plays the role of the big spoon. But folks, it's 2011 and even the most feminine woman can feel equally at home spooning her man. And be careful not to let your arms get trapped beneath your special gown. This is worse than death. Instead, your inside arm can go behind you or above her head, while your outside arm is free to rest on her firm yet tender belly. Hold her fragile hand, gently cup her perky

breast, or, well, the rest is up to you. Advanced cuddlers may want to try the Stamos swaddler. Nothing brings you closer to your lady and if you sleep with your eyes open the Stamos way you get to stare at her face all night long. You can also caress her leg with your foot or allow your toes to intertwine doing an affectionate little soldier boy dance. Feel free to improvise you can nuzzle noses, butterfly kiss, blow on, or even gently nibble her ear. Perhaps the most important cuddle

is the stamos touching her with your fingers, lightly running the tips or backs of your fingers along her tender curves. You're like a cartographer of the female form. Your exploring fingers are like Lewis and that other guy, mapping the peaks and valleys of her body's terrain, traversing her every womanly crevasse and claiming it for your own. With the right mix of affection and tenderness,

my Snugglefest guarantees that your woman will stay most cozy. I guarantee it. That's right. Bob, what the fuck? In here, we pour whiskey. This episode of Whiskey Ginger is brought to you by BetterHelp. I've talked pretty openly on this show about depression, anxiety, and why I think therapy is a wonderful thing that helps millions and millions of people get where they're going.

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the free Ibotta app and use the code whiskey. That's Ibotta, I-B-O-T-T-A in the Google Play or App Store and use that code whiskey. Ginger. I like gingers. That's our college community. So wait, so what was your first success then? You auditioned

for TV? I think the first thing I ever landed, I got a pilot for ABC called Mixology that was about one night in a bar. The whole season was about one night in a bar. It was actually a great, great concept. Who else was in it? Nobody you know. I don't think so.

I don't think anybody you know. It was about your young, up-and-coming actors. Why wouldn't I know? Okay. I mean, they're all kind of doing their own thing now. It was a pilot that didn't go? No,

we got one season. Oh, you did? Yeah. And it was really bad. I do, I think I, who ran that show? It was

John and Scott, the guys that actually wrote the first draft of The Hangover, which is kind of fucking insane. Yeah, they wrote the original

Hangover draft. And I think they wanted this to be like crazy and fun and weird and ABC, ABC did it. Yeah, it was the wrong network, right? Yeah, it wasn't gonna happen. So that went for a year. I do remember the mix-up. hangover job and i think they wanted this to be like crazy and fun and weird and abc abc yeah it wasn't gonna happen so that went for a year i do remember that was a crush for a year it was a little smash and then uh after that i did uh well i i started my career doing punked

i mean i did the reprise of punk oh really yeah that's the first thing i ever did and then um then the mixology and then i did uh a show called I'm Dying Up Here on Showtime that was about stand-up comedy in the 70s that we got criticized to no end. Was that Jim Carrey? Yeah, Jim's show. We were pre-Miss Maisel. We were pre-all that stuff.

Why didn't that show work, I thought, for sure? Showtime didn't really give a shit. I think they thought that it was going to be something else, and it was dark. It was based on a book. It was based on the book I'm Dying Up Here, and I do think it was dark yeah you know i think it was based on a book it was based on the book i'm dying up here and i do think it was miscommunicated they promoted it kind of like it was a comedy it wasn't a comedy at all it was a dark drama he was in it once in a while right jim just produced the shit out of it jim didn't uh didn't show any fun wasn't he in another show

like a comedy show like yeah he did another one he this one of the guys that wrote on i'm dying up here actually wrote that show called Kidding. Do you think anyone's still awake during this? No, no chance. There's no chance. You know Mike Binder? He's a good friend of mine. Of course I do, yeah.

He did the comedy. I know the Bind. He does a bunch of benefit stuff too. He's always helping out the community is the best way I can say it. Well, he did the comedy story. Yeah, the doc. Were you in that?

Yeah, I did a little piece up there upstairs. And they put me right before he interviewed Letterman, which I thought was cool. Yeah. A hero of mine. Like, that was my guy. As a kid, Letterman upstairs. And they put me right before he interviewed Letterman, which I thought was cool. Yeah. A hero of mine. Like, that was my guy. As a kid, Letterman was... And you went on Conan for the...

Conan was my first stand-up on TV set, and I thought that... I mean, because, you know, for my generation, Conan was, like, the guy. Like, doing The Tonight Show was cool or whatever, but Conan was the guy, man. Especially because he loved comics, and they promoted stand-up

in a way that no other network did, where Leno had stand-ups on, way that no other network did where Leno had stand-ups on but you had to be really you had to be Leno's flavor which is fine

Conan didn't give a shit he just wanted you to be funny and didn't they wanted they wanted stand-ups from all kinds of walks to come

and I was proud was that the during the time when the shows could go longer or well I mean for us it was still

a gun to the head you still had to do you know you had to do your exact five minutes in fact if you go over they tell you they're like

it's okay but also it'll get cut you know what did you what was your opening joke um what could you do that was

Warner it was on TBS or something like that then wasn't it TBS yeah I think it was Warner Brothers yeah was that the

yeah a lot and uh what was my opening joke my opening joke yeah i sleep naked i like to sleep naked and and i say i like to sleep naked and people always say like you know well you can't sleep a naked night what happens if the fire house catches on fire right it's a common but i said where did that come from and what era of time were so many houses just setting ablaze and people were outside naked? Like, oh my God, what a mistake. Tell everybody, don't sleep naked.

I'm a fool. And I said, also, what kind of asshole of a neighbor would I have to have that would make fun of my penis while my house is on fire? Like, what a dick. Like, what an opportunity to mock my cock. My house is on fire. That was my opening Conan joke, I think.

And I remember when they booked me for it, I did that joke at the improv, and then I followed up with this other joke about trying to get a lady of the night on accident in Montreal when I was, you know, whatever. And it, immediately, they said, you can do that on TV.

And I said, well, is it the prostitute joke? And they said, we don't give a shit. What was it? I say I was in Montreal, and that was when I first got Just for Laughs and I was walking the streets. Howie? Is that Howie's thing? Just for Laughs?

Yeah. No, no. Just for Laughs. Old, old comedy festival. Been around for a long time. Not Howie Mandel's? No. That's his one in Montreal.

He has that comedy festival. Well, I mean, he may be a part of it, but I don't, it's not his whole thing. I don't think it's his whole thing. Okay. He's been around for a long time,

but he, but I said I was walking the streets and I saw a sign that said uh uh what i thought said a lover but it's a louis l a l-o-u-e-r right yeah it means for rent in french for rent or to rent so i called her thinking i was calling a prostitute for rent and i said how much and she said 1500 and i said that's that's a lot of money. And she said, I also want to remind you there's no pets. And I said, lady, for $1,500, I'm going to bring a pet. More petting. Yeah.

Oh, you're bringing a pet. Yeah, I'm bringing a pet. So it was just a little word tease. Your thing was like about the finger in the ass, the little pinky, that it went to a couple fingers. That was brilliant, man. Thank you. I was just watching that again last night

and we were laughing so hard. And I said to my wife, he's going fist. And then you were going fist. That was, and that was Saget's. That was Saget's. Yeah, he was that kind of way.

I remember watching him. He kind of had that, he liked a little bit of trickery misdirection, but his favorite thing was misdirection with a wink of shock. But he would smile when he would do it. That's why I think Bob was so lovable to a lot of people in the comedy community

because he always had a nice wink behind everything. He was really sweet, which is hard to do. I think a lot of people think that's easy to do because anybody can be dirty. Everybody can be dirty. It's really easy. Everyone does it when you're young.

But to have that. But to have a little bit something behind it to make it, to still be affable when you're being dirty, it's a tough trick. I could watch Tim and studied him. I study all you guys because I love the mathematics of it, the timing of it, the way you guys construct jokes,

what words work. And he was great at it. And you'd see him on Letterman, and he would come out with something about his daughter. She's at home. She's passed out because she's drunk or something. And then Letter Leonard would say now Bob

you're the audience and then you'd see this flick do I did I go too far did I cross the line do I bail or do I go full fraud I was like no you're right

we don't get her drunk we chloroform her you back up and then you attack again exactly Rickles was the king the best he's the best at it

he was we became friends we were at dinner we were back to back seats he didn't like who he was with we just started jabbing each other

and it was during a time when he was not relevant people thought he was dead you mean he had like a lull in his career yes people that don't know

he did have it was a gap period from like he was 70 to 80 or something but it is weird how people floated away and then it was like Rickles! And you're like, yeah, Rickles. Yeah, well we did that documentary

Mr. Warmth and then everybody started doing these tributes to him AFI and the Friars Club Bob and I did a great one with him. So then he was big again. But I just paid attention to him. First of all, I would study him. He was the master.

And we became very, very close. He was like a second father. We would talk on the phone once every couple of days. Like two schoolgirls. He really wanted... He didn't like comics. I wedged Bob in there. And then he loved Bob.

I love that he didn't like comics. He didn't. And then Jeff Ross, I had to really cram in there. And then he ended up loving... Yeah, I don't know. Because I think comics felt like they had to be funny around him. And you just can't do that. You know, you just have to roll with it.

You could have introduced me because I don't really do that. A lot of times people, I'll meet people and they'll go, oh, you have a stand up. Yeah. I don't really try to gun for the laugh when I meet people in the world unless it comes naturally with the rhythm of it. Right, right. Because it's a little off-putting. it's just like not my character but i do know guys that are sure they just need to like shotgun it in there and he doesn't he wouldn't you know he's not like that he would he would mow them down guys some beat the shit i'm not physically out of uh love it's

one day we were in vegas that sounds that sounds about right. Yeah, yeah. And who else did he hammer? Well, Jeff Ross, at my 50th, I just turned 60, at my 50th birthday. You just turned 60 years old. I know. It's disgusting to hear.

I know, but I'm so tired. I'm just... Are you really tired? Yeah, I came home from this really successful book tour and yesterday, number four on the bestseller list. Not only is it number four

on the bestseller list. Yeah. it number four on the bestseller list yeah I mean you should have opened audio why am I having to well because we do that before we start taping the show oh you're gonna say it

yeah we do a whole nice intro and give a really nice sweet I pre-tape it before you even come here and I give you a lot of credit for a book that I told you I haven't finished a book

in many many years yeah did you really finish yeah I did the last book I finished was American Buffalo I just got sent do you know American Buffalo?

Yeah. Yeah, I just reread that because our buddy Jake Johnson said I have to read it again. When was your – wait, so that book, yes, we could talk about it. I do. Well, a lot of the stories that we talk about now, we did – there is some of that in the book. And what I do want to make fun of you for a little bit because I want to know the depth of it. Please. You're a Southern California kid.

Yeah. You had this fascination with Disney. And as a Chicago kid, Disney didn't mean anything to us but a place to go when you're a little, little kid. Right. But you grew up so near. And you talked about kind of your love of Knott's and all that stuff. Uh-huh. For people that don't know Knott's Berry Farm, another part of the amusement park monolithic world of orange county but do you still do you

still have disney stuff in your blood are you still a big like do you love the world of disney still as an adult disney did you go to disney world ever disneyland i mean yeah disney world i only went to i never went to disney world land until i moved here when i was oh really 24 5 years old let's go now let's go finish the podcast. I don't want to. So you're saying it's adults going to Disney. I never got it when adults

had this fascination with it. I could never wrap my head around it. But do you still have the thing for it? I don't have it as much, but my wife does. She does.

Before I met her, I was like, I think enough with this Disney. I've done it. But she pulled me back. I was at, I think enough with this Disney, you know, I've done it. Um, but then she pulled me back. I was at dinner once with Rickles and, and, uh,

Kimmel and Kimmel brought, uh, Ryan Gosling. And just what I thought, like, that's so lame to be a Disney guy. He was like, I love Disney like you.

And I go there and I go there by myself. And I said, Oh yeah, I'm a Disney guy. And then you got back into it. You were okay. If Ghazi was into it, you're into it.

If Ghazi's in, I'm in. It's, um, you know, it's, it was a place to just, and I had a beautiful childhood

unlike yours. I would just, it wasn't like I was hiding from anything. It was just that, You are now though. Now I want to go in there and just forget about my life.

No, it's, it's, it's been a nice thing. Did you like, like growing up, like shooting people and stuff,

like gunfights and stuff? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got in a lot of gangfights. Did you ever go to Ravinia? I played there a lot. Yeah? That's a good place. The RIV?

Yeah, right. You played there with who? The Beach Boys. You played with the Beach Boys? I was there. We were there a couple years ago, and it was Ringo and the Beach Boys are a double bill, and that was pretty cool. Tell me this.

When you got to become a part of the world of the Beach Boys, because again, you kind of manifested it as a kid because you loved them so much. Just like you manifested this. Did it feel as satisfying to you when it happened? Are you kidding? Yeah. It's the greatest. But isn't that, what a great payoff because it worked.

What's your, yeah. What would I want to manifest like that? Who's your, besides having sex with me, who, let's go to a, he just winked at me. He just winked. No, I didn't. No, I didn't. You winked. No, I didn't.

When you put this up, I want you to slow-mo it. I'm not winking at you, bud. Relax. Who would be my manifestation like that? But not who, well, I mean, what's your favorite band? Yeah. Who's that on your shirt? This is the Fetals.

This is the Beatles spinoff. It's a foot fetish band, the Fetals. Really? What would be my like... Yeah, okay. But music isn't my... Music is your world, right? And you want to always play music.

So for me, it would be like... It'd be like doing a tour, a stand-up tour with like... George Carlin? Prior Carlin. Like just being in the room with him i would say i would never deserve it i'm just saying like that would be my yeah beach boys is like fuck man if i could like be in the room on a massive tour of the guys of old yeah right that because i've been with the presence guy the guys that are now big you know like chapelle and those guys and i've been around them and been on been with them at shows and you do but are you in the big big theaters now i just we just do theaters not that big i don't do like arenas or field house we do like we it's just you it's me but we talk about

as the royal well i do them alone and then me and bobby lead tour them together so i do probably 2,500 seaters up to 3,000 and that's huge man we do up to five together five or six yeah you don't need bobby no we do need by need Bobby. I love him very much. I did. Giannis was staying at my house, and he was going to do his podcast. What's it called? Giannis.

No, Bobby Lee's. Oh, Tiger. Yeah, we don't talk about that on this show. Oh, sorry. I said, can we tag along? And we went, and we just sat in with him. And hung out? Yeah, and Bobby was great.

Giannis stays at your house every time he comes to LA? Well, he usually stays with Whitney, who I'm going to see after you today. Can I stay at your house when I come to LA? You live here, don't you? So you think. Is this your house where we're at? Yeah, this is where I live. Yeah.

Things are not as good as they seem. You must be making a lot of dough now, huh? Not making that much. You are. You have to be. Not like Stamos money. I don't make it anymore. Let me tell you tell you something let me ask let's let's be honest go ahead when you did network tv that was when it was absurd they had a fucking minting

print printing machine at abc and they were like come pick up your bag of cash yeah you guys you guys but i wanted it was different back then tv was different i wanted out after i knew i only had a six-year contract and i i'd learned to love the show by that point, but I wanted out, and I knew I had them by the balls, so I wanted to ask for all this stuff. But the main thing was, I said, I want a point or two of the show.

That's huge. That's what I should have got. I didn't actually. You didn't get it. But this, I went to, You sold it like you got it. Yeah, I know. It's a schmuck bait, they call it.

Yeah, here. Here it is, right here. That was Rickles. Who, by the way, who did get the most benefit out of that show? The girls, eh? Well, they, yeah, I don't, money-wise, I don't, I don't think that, they didn't have a point, but they made a little bit, but then they went on to, you know, they own. It's amazing they managed to, like, never work ever again, but become the most successful.

Well, they worked hard on that, on their empire over there. Their brand. Clothing, like, yeah. But, I mean, they never worked on TV, really, ever again. They didn't they manage to never work ever again but become the most successful? Well, they worked hard on their empire over there. Their brand. But I mean, they never worked on TV really ever again. They didn't want to. I tried so hard to get them back on. I came up with the idea to do Fuller House with Jeff Franklin. Huge hit, by the way. It was okay.

I think people really love that. No, you should have seen the reviews. I went on Seth Meyers and just read the reviews. I know, it's a fuck-up. Who gives a fuck about the reviews? I'm talking about the humans that watched it well I got a lot of good reviews

for the book so I can't there you go no I you know the first year the first show the first run of Full House

they got let me finish the money story so Les Moonves takes me to lunch and talks about all the stuff and we're gonna

thing and they gave me a lot of money and I could leave anytime I wanted and they gave me a movie a shitty movie and we're walking back from the commissary and he puts his hand on my

shoulder like this and kind of it was like this and like that side of his shoulder and this part of his uh elbow what's that called the forearm forearm was up against my throat just just enough because you know well you're gonna get all that other stuff you're not gonna get any points on this one you know maybe the next one but you're not gonna get point you're going to get all that. You're not going to get any points on this one. You know, maybe the next one, but you're not going to get points. You're like, fucking mafia shit, man. There is no next one. This is the one. Yeah, that was the one.

That doesn't make sense. People are lucky enough to get one huge hit like that. All the stars have to line up and magic has to happen. I finally realized that if you didn't get the show, fuck off. We didn't make it for you. And, you know, in lieu of sophistication, you know, these critics talk about what made up for that,

it wasn't sophisticated, but sweetness moved in and the brain moved to the side and it actually gave you room to feel something. During a divisive time right now, it's like a good home-cooked meal of decency. And that's what you are. A home-cooked meal of decency with a decency yeah and that's that's what you are a home-cooked meal of decency yeah with a couple of pieces of uncooked meat a little dirtiness

there's a little bit of uncooked meat in there and you're gonna get through it right you're gonna get through it yeah it's been sitting out for a day or two the reason i said is because the success of the show did lend itself to having some sort of callback comeback whatever and i think it was a fuller house i think it was a brilliant idea i i really do i mean that because uh we tried to sell that show for a year nobody wanted it really we went everywhere and the last place with netflix i'm like come on netflix wasn't netflix like it is today but it was it was on the rise it was gonna yeah and uh i said come on i didn't even go to that pitch meeting my mom was sick and she was dying and um she saw thanks for bringing it up

mccomb well she saw one why... Why would you have to bring that up about his mom dying? Come on, McComb. That's insane. Why would you... He flashed it on the thing. Oh, I got a photo of your mom. McComb.

McComb. Sickhead. You're sick. You're sick up here. That's a good name for a TV show. Hi, McComb. Yeah. Officer McComb on the case.

He's always combing his head. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I do people that I've encountered in my life I don't do like celebrity impressions okay you do your dad like I just know people that I've heard around the way like if I hear you

I can mock you the guy who used to do my the restaurant by my old house in West Hollywood he used to say I'd go there and get breakfast every day because I get two eggs and coffee in the morning back in my first apartment what was his name?

no no no hold on I do know Armando Armando Armando and he would go he'd go hello how are you?

and I'd say good and then I'd go two eggs, coffee and then he'd go fruit o' potatoes that's what he'd say every time you get fruit o' potatoes

fruit o' potatoes he'd sing it so I would sing it on the way home I'd go fruit o' potatoes. Fruit or potatoes. He'd sing it. Yeah. So I would sing it on the way home. I'd go fruit or potatoes, fruit or potatoes, fruit. And it became, so that to me, I can imitate people I meet in the real world. I cannot do, I don't do like, you know, it's almost like, do you want to hear my walk in? I don't do those.

But I want to do someone I've seen or heard before. Right. So like, like, um. You did some gay voices on your special. Yes. That's pretty good. Yeah. That's too's too good no it's got to be simple uh i first listen dude i grew up around it i grew up in a part of chicago all my mom's co-workers were gay men and beautiful women where'd your mom work she worked at a property management company uh in the heart of the most affluent part of downtown

chicago got it and we lived in these buildings because we could my mom was a single mother so she filed to get you you know, help. Right. And we could live in very fancy apartments even though we didn't belong. You could tell we didn't belong. When we left and I saw the way that other people lived,

I was like, oh, right. This is, we don't have money, but we live in a place where people do have money. What streets? Where was it? We were down in what's called the Gold Coast of Chicago.

You know, it's a hotbed. They're both there now, your parents? Well, they're all over Chicago now. Right. They don't live in the city anymore because you get old and you leave. We used to be there all the time. At Ravinia, there's another couple places we played there. What would be a second home to you outside of California?

California. I got one house, one wife, one kid. One car. One car. Yeah. One pair of underwear. No. I don't wear underwear. I've heard the rumors. I don't wear car. One car, yeah. One pair of underwear. No. I don't wear underwear.

I've heard the rumors. I don't wear underwear. You wash every day. Yeah, you don't wear underwear. Not with that fucking pipe. Sinatra would throw his, he would wear underwear once and throw it away. Yeah, they used to say like Jordan would wear different shoes every game and throw them away. Who's Jordan?

Michelle. He was a, John Michelle Jordan. I didn't know. He was a painter, basketball player. I don't know much about sports. I'm not a sports, I had a great, did you see that, I had a show called Big Shot on Disney Plus? I didn't know. He was a painter, basketball player? I don't know much about sports. I'm not a sports... I had a great... Did you see that show? I had a show called Big Shot on Disney Plus

where I played a coach. I was sort of like a Bobby Knight guy who just passed away yesterday. God bless. Rest in peace, Bob Knight. One of my favorite stories about me... Go ahead. ...getting over turbulence.

Bob Knight. He just did the side of the cross, but you did it wrong. Bob Knight. That's not the... He threw it up to the world. What kind of Catholic are you? It goes... It was here. Father said, Holy Ghost. I just did it. I went here, here, here, and then you go it wrong. Bob Knight. That's not the... He threw it up to the world. What kind of Catholic are you? It goes,

Father, Son, Holy Ghost. I just did it. I went here, here, here, and then you go like this and you throw it away. I went, I just did this. You're going like this, like you're playing a crossword puzzle. No, I'm going like this.

My mic is in front of me, Stamos. No, no, no, no, no, no. What do you want from me? Father, Son, Holy Ghost. I go here, here, here, here, and I throw it up to the sky. Were you an altar boy? Huh?

Were you an altar boy? You want to see my butt and you tell me? No, I was not because my mom knew better. Really? She goes, I'm not going to let this kid get trapped in that whole organization. She's too handsome. We got kicked out of the Catholic Church.

My mom got divorced. We were scum. Trash. The Catholic Church. What a lunacy. Let's send some money to them, too. Yeah, give them more. Have you been to the Vatican?

They need a couple more bucks. Yeah, they don't have enough gold. It is remarkable when you go there. They're like, anything we want to you been to the Vatican? They need a couple more bucks. Yeah, they don't have enough gold. It is remarkable when you go there. They're like, anything we want to happen. To the Vatican? Yeah. Just to see how beautiful it is? Was it?

It's incredible. So your mom, you guys kicked out church. No, we just. Oh, Bobby Knight. I'm sorry, Bobby Knight. Oh, no, so Bobby Knight was why I was flying back. Then they thought you were ADD, huh? You too.

Look who's talking. Pot calling the kettle. Except you get more tan than me. I'm the white pot. Pot calling the kettle black. We'll call the kettle that was a character i played on uh general hospital i do love that you played a guy named blackie and the security guard who was black in that part of the book was very funny sammy if you go to a black guy and go excuse me i'm blackie jesus and they and they introduced me like that the first time one of the first time i played

with the beach boys in in dc there was a million people there. It was the 4th of July, 1985. Was it at the mall? Yeah. They said, go out. As soon as we got there, we were late. They said, you, kid, you're on TV. Go out there and tell the million constipated, drunk people to step back. Everybody step back or we're going to shut the show down.

And the DJ from the local thing's and here he is a blackie and i came out race riots and then they saw it was me as i um wait a minute we got to go back i'll give it to you right now so the bobby knight story was i i i've trapped you know we travel for a living turbulence doesn't really scare me but at one point i was traveling so much and i was just feeling the anxiety of the movement of like i wouldn't stand still i was doing tiny clubs getting paid no money, jumping all over. And I was going from Indianapolis,

I think back to the East Coast. I think, I don't remember where, but I was so scared and they kept pushing back the flight and they were like, oh, the weather was real bad. I mean, you could, you know, when you feel the windows in an airport, like from the wind. And I thought, dad, I don't want to take off in this.

That's when I stay in that town. Well, and it was a regional jet too. It was a baby plane, you know, a little tiny one. And I kept freaking out, freaking out like, fuck fuck i don't know if i should get on this plane and then sure enough i look over to my right and calm calm as anything is bobby knight reading a newspaper everyone's kind of pacing bobby knight's just standing there reading a newspaper he's looking up just waiting for the plane to get on and we get on the plane and i see him just read a newspaper and as we're kind of everyone's a little tense because it's so bad, the storm.

And Bobby Knight didn't even look up from the newspaper. I just kept reading the newspaper. And it made me, he's sitting right one row back like that for me. And I thought, God's not going to kill me with Bobby Knight today. This isn't how I go. It's not how he goes. It's not how I go. But you know how he does go?

Yeah. A couple of days ago. Yeah. Yeah. God waited. So thank you, God. Thank you, God. Look, I do it again. Do you still have a have a good strong belief in god do you pray at night i believe

in a thing i don't even know what it is i don't like to call it anything because i think as a kid i lost faith in a in a formal religious manner i get it man yeah so i just kind of i was brought up as well yeah yeah and i just grew up with such weird the the word uh god got thrown in my face a lot because of the my relationship with the my mom and the church and the catholic got thrown in my face a lot because of the my relationship with my mom and the church and the Catholic thing and my mom's side the Irish

and then my dad is Sicilian who is an addict and spent a lot of my childhood in prison and so oh shit

yeah and so then from my father's perspective I used to hear the addict's words about God so I got these weird two higher power higher power

and then you hear a lot of that stuff and then you try to decide which god are they talking about because they seem like two different gods to me Bobby Lee has a different god too

his god is sleep yeah he's the god of the rest how do you get that girl on there for so long well she's gone now they're not together anymore how do you get her

yeah money you're around Hollywood long enough you know so Bobby Knight she'll sit on his belly and he spins her

no but that got me off, Bobby Knight got me off of, got me off of turbulence. I got a call from my agents a couple years ago and said, we got an offer for you for the new David Kelly show.

I'm like, oh my God. Great. I always wanted to work with him. Brilliant writer. I said, what's it about? And they said, basketball. I said, oh, fuck. Oh, no.

I'm so lame at all sports. I don't get them. You don't like any sports? I don't like them. I don'm so lame at all sports. I don't get them. You don't like any sports? I don't like them. Someone has to lose. I don't like it. I don't. I never.

My dad said, you got a way to hate sports. I just don't like them. So I had to sort of play this coach, which I didn't know how to do. My good friend, Roger Lodge, who used to host Blind Date. You know Roger Lodge? I know Roger Lodge. I mean, I know who Roger Lodge is. No, you don't.

Yeah. Who? What's he look like? Handsome. Okay. You're right. See? up to hollywood with him when we were young but he he was my sort of my technical advisor but in the show my character is a college uh coach and he throws a chair and gets kicked out of the league yeah exactly and then i have to work my way back up at an all girls private high school in lag. And it was a really well-written show. It was very, very good.

And I, so I studied him as much as I could. I got all these video of him. It was a funny fucking guy, this guy. Yeah, he was hilarious. Well, because he was like a, he was a wonderful coach. So I think the thing that extended his abilities were that he was such a good coach that his blow-ups and anger and chaos, it all kind of complimented how good of a coach he was. It didn't really matter.

It's kind of like when you meet someone who's like a really great actor but they're a fucking lunatic and you're like, I'm a pretty good actor though. What are you going to do? You know what I mean?

You know, they say those scenes where you'd hear a lot of stuff about Joaquin Phoenix going ham. And then someone's like, it's a lot, but it's a good scene.

But then you see, I've worked with people that don't do any of that stuff and they're fucking brilliant. Yeah, that's the same thing that, you know, they don't do any of that stuff. I know. And they're fucking brilliant. Yeah, that's the same thing. I see more of those people than I see the other way. Yeah, but you have to respect that.

I don't get to work with, you know, Daniel Day-Lewis. Yeah, me either. He doesn't really do comedy. Can I ask you about the sauce? No. Yes, you can. But let's, but Bobby, wait, I was going to turn over to Bobby. Oh, so my friends hooked, someone hooked me up with Jerry West.

And I went down to meet him. I said, Mr. West, and I brought Roger, thank God. I said, Mr. West, nice to meet you.

Thanks for letting us come to the rehearsal today. First of all, it's not called rehearsal, but practice. That's right. And he was with the, what's the name of the team, the basketball team a couple of years ago. I'm not even kidding.

I'm not being, I'm just lame. Jerry West? No, I know, well, I knew him then. Right. I went to meet him. Los'm not being, I'm just lame. Jerry West? No, I know, well, I knew him then. Right.

I went to meet him. Los Angeles Lakers. No, but it was after that, recently, the Clippers. So, right?

Right. Was it Clippers? No, what do you mean? Jerry West and the Clippers? Yeah, he was a, like a,

not the coach, but sort of an owner. Yeah, GM. Yeah, GM, yeah, that's right.

Yeah. And that was during the, they were doing a rehearsal, and he said, those aren't, you know, costumes, those are uniforms,

and I have it all on tape. The stage is beautiful. Yeah, well, that's what I thought. John, that's a basketball court, buddy. And then I thought it was like, I thought they were a college team because I was playing a college coach, but I guess they're not.

The Clippers. Yeah. Some would say they're a college team at some points in their career. Yeah, when they went to college. No, they're incredible. These are premier athletes. Were you not impressed

by the level and their ability? Yes, of course. Have you ever been to a live sporting event outside of doing a work for the show? I sat on the floor for the Lakers one time.

Somebody took me and my friends Dude, I love a guy that hates sports. He's like, they put me on the floor when the guys are They hated me

because I'm not even paying attention. I'm talking to people in the stands. At least, I said, my friends, at least a kid could,

if a kid's sitting there, it's tough to watch too, but at least they could grow up to be a fan. Sure. You're never going to be a fan and that's just how it is. So you got tickets once

at a Laker game? Yeah. Was it Kobe era? I don't think so. No, no. Yeah, maybe it was Kobe. I went with Gary Marshall.

It was a long time ago. Gary Marshall. You went with Gary Marshall. And Gary Shandling was there. You sat courtside with Gary Marshall, Gary Shandling, watched Kobe play. Yeah. And you don't give a fuck. Well, there were girls.

I looked at the girls. The girls are more important. So, honestly, that's your only live sporting event you've ever been to? Would you go to one with me if I invited you to go to one? Wrestling? I went to a wrestling once. No, let's go to, let's go to, have you never been to a Dodger game? I went, yes, I went with Saget. And we couldn't find the car, let's go to, have you never been to a Dodger game?

I went, yes, I went with Saget. And we couldn't find the car at the end of the night. And I was so pissed off. And people were like chasing us. And I said, I'm a celebrity. What, did you find the car?

Fucking Bobby. And he couldn't find the car. You didn't get a driver? No, Bob drove. Bob. Bobby. Bob, what are you doing up there, dude? God, you would have loved Bob.

You would have really loved him. He was such a good guy, man. He was about as normal of a celebrity as you could get, eh? No. No? But he... No. He wasn't like a guy's guy?

He felt like a guy's guy to me. I don't know about that. Here's what's his deal, though. And this is what kills me about him. He didn't know... When he died, it was like Princess Diana or something. The outpouring of love was incredible. Didn't you think?

Yeah. It was so tragic, too. He didn't know how loved he was. Because in his mind, if he's not doing eight Netflix specials and selling out arenas, then he's not successful. But it was too high. He saw himself too high. And then it was a disappointment. He worked so hard towards the end there.

And he was alive again. His last post is really incredible because he took a picture on stage. I feel like I'm 20 again or 40 or something. I remember that, yeah. And he was on for two hours, and it was tough. The last dinner that I had with him, it was my wife and his wife, Kelly, and the two of us,

and he was everything that I wanted him to be. He was calm and listened and asked questions and didn't talk about himself too much. And even like, it used to drive me crazy like to take a picture with him. It was like, here, my neck fat's too hot. You did 50 pictures to get a thing. And that night it was like, it didn't bother me.

And you know, his famous joke was tonight's specials are cake and cock and we're out of cake. And he, by the way, I asked him to host my father's um funeral and he opened with that and then he went into some calamari jokes uh circumcision calamari something my mom's like ah but it was um and so we go into this place and i said uh tonight's specials are cake and cock we're out of cake, yeah, yeah. And we ended up staying longer than we normally would have. We weren't in a rush.

And I said, let's stay and have dessert. Okay, we did. And it was like, if you're with someone that you love and you care about, order the cake. Because you never know, you know. Yeah. You never know. Yeah. I miss him.

He was a... Don't cry in front of McCrome. Don't cry in front of McCrome. McCrome is such a yeah I love this show because you can talk about just about anything right

you can talk about anything on the show and there's no I stopped drinking about 8 years ago a little longer 8 years 8

June 25th 8 years he winked at me again I want I'm telling you you do a slow-mo of him see do it

I want to know what was your what was the sausage choice but can we slow it down yeah let's slow want to know, what was the sauce of choice? But can we slow it down? Yeah, let's slow it down. Who's they? What was the sauce of choice for you? Oh, everything.

I would just drink everything. You didn't have a particular? No. But then you talked. I know. You went and got in an accident real bad. I didn't get in an accident, but I got a DUI. And that's how I opened up the book.

The first thing I remember was people rolling down the road. They said, pull over. Pull over. You're fucked up. Uncle Jesse, pull over. You're fucked up. Yeah. I was like, oh, Christ.

I was just driving around and around. I was like an idiot. And Bob was going crazy trying to find me. Then I woke up in a hospital. And I saw this light. And then I saw this shadow. And I thought it was Jesus, but it was Bob. Same, same, same. And then I checked his zipper, and I thought it was Jesus, but it was Bob. Same, same, same.

And then I checked his zipper to see if it was undone, and it was. Taste this. You'll be fine. That's his kind of joke. Yeah, he would have liked it. So I stopped. I mean, I went to rehab, and I just haven't drank since. You feel good now?

I feel great. Better than ever? I really do. I was confusing. I had a great childhood. I feel great. Better than ever. I really do. I was confusing. I had a great childhood. I had great parents. I grew up in Disneyland. Like, I had no reason to be a fucking, you know.

It's just, you know, I was getting old, and it was, my dad died, and then I got a divorce, which was very hard on me, and then my mom died, and I just went, you know, down. I spiraled down. And I just wasn't the guy that my parents raised and i was just disrespectful to my childhood and the universe and i all i wanted was a wife and a kid and now you got it yeah isn't that amazing you got everything you wanted yeah so are you happy yes you are i really am everything feels kind of whole now yeah and this book was like i don't even i don't have you honestly though have you written or do you want to write a book someday?

Oh, no, no, no. I can't. That's insane. That was how I felt. I was like, no fucking way. I don't even, I'm not that interesting. I don't have that great a story. I'm not going to talk about who I fucked.

And so who wants the book about? I would read a book about who you fucked. You read my book, didn't you? Yeah, but I would read a book exclusively about fucking. I don't want to read about your childhood. Oh, that's bullshit. Just give me who you porced. I did rush through the childhood part because, you know, what I read about.

Because of trauma? No, I didn't have any trauma. I just, it's boring when I read other people's books. Like, let's get to the... Right, the Jews. The Jews. Huh? Did you say Jews?

Yeah, I did. Let's get to the Jews. I did. It's a joke. Jesus Christ. No, we're not done. What time do you have to do Whitney? Five, but I have to do something in between.

Yeah, well, then you tell me when you want to go. We've got time. Are you good? I'm good. Because we should call Giannis at some point. I want to call Giannis right now. What about your mom? Let's FaceTime her.

Oh, you want to FaceTime my mom? Yeah. She won't pick up. Would she be better than your dad? Well, let's see. Or should we FaceTime? No, my dad won't pick up. My dad will literally be like, what are you doing?

I'll go, I'm with John Stamos. She'll go, what are you doing? Who cares? I go, I'm with John Stamos. She'll go, what are you doing? Who cares? Right. I'll go, no. Why is that? How fun is that? What if I brag about you to your dad?

No. He wouldn't. What about the sister? He'd go, that's nice. Yeah. That's what he'd say. That's nice. I called him.

We'll call my mom, and then we're going to call Giannis Papas, our mutual friend who's linked us together, the Greek freak, the real Greek freak. He's real. He's real Greek, though. You want to talk about Greek history? That guy knows everything about Greek history.

He knows about all history. Yeah, but he's really good with his own. Do you know Stavros? Alkias? The other Greek? This guy you should know. Who's the most famous person on your phone? You?

Yeah. Is it the me category? No. Who is? Seriously, who do you think is the most famous person on your phone? How about you? Baby! Who's that? I I gotta tell you something

yeah go ahead Stamos came in the studio he said the n-word like three times spit on my producer and left I tried to tell him

not to be himself you know I said it on Bert's show and I'm gonna say it on this show why is he not playing stadiums or big gigantic things Giannis can play whatever he wants you know what it on Bert's show, and I'm going to say it on this show. Why is he not playing stadiums or big, gigantic things? Giannis can play whatever he wants.

You know what it is. He's a family man. He's a sweet boy. I love him. And look at him right now. He's curled up with his children. Look at that. See?

See? Right there. Curled up with the kids, and he's watching what? What are you watching? Bullhouse. Boss Baby. Boss Baby, dude. You got to watch Boss Baby.

I watch Boss Baby. Well, we just want to tell you how much we love you, man. You really, you're looking, really, you're looking. Not good. You look. I saw him earlier. Yeah. Yeah.

You look okay. You look okay. I want to thank you for, I want to thank, not for getting me on this podcast, but you got me on Burt's and that was fun. Yeah, thank you. Thank you for putting him on the other ones, man. It really is nice of you. I just got off the Burt cruise,

so I'm pretty sure I got AIDS and COVID. Yeah. From Burt? Yeah. Burt's passing it around. Well, I'm glad you got triple boosted on the boat, dude. I love you. That's it?

Let me talk to him. Hold on one second. Stamos wants to talk. Hold on. I know. You said this was going to be fun. Hey, man, go back on the boat and tell jokes, you fucking dickhead.

You guys are good. Thanks for getting me on here, Giannis. I couldn't do it on my own, and I wouldn't have. He wouldn't have done it, really. But I told him I'm a fan of his, and I really am.

I love that. I watched his special again last night. It was so fucking funny. Remember the joke he's like, like about first, when he jerks off, it's just the pinky, and then two fingers,

and five fingers, and then he fists himself. That's so brilliant. Yeah. It's my clean stuff. Now my queef stuff is my next special. The big queef. What do you call it?

The big queef. What was the other this one? Cheeseburger? Tiny queef. Yeah. Cheeseburger. Yeah.

This guy's really funny. Not today but on his work. Yeah. Usually I am. Yeah. Nine times out of ten. Today's the one.

I love you Giannis. Bye bye. Bye. Wrong number. No. You got to hang up on that guy. Yeah. Otherwise he'll keep talking today's the one I love you Giannis bye bye bye wrong number no you gotta hang up on that guy otherwise he'll keep

talking like he knows you like he knows us yeah he doesn't know us really so we did that tell me this yes one last thing

before I kick you out of my studio who's your biggest who did you meet that you got oh man that was probably comics right like who

doing your first when you came to to hollywood and oh i would just say doing curb with larry was like the pinnacle for my career kind of no matter what else i've done what did you play on that thing i just did a we had a the latte larry episode i was a plumber who built him a toilet that would have a thing that came down that did a penis detector and if depending on your size of your cock, would open the door to a certain level. It was a great moment. Did you, and it was just ad lib?

Did they say, like, talk about this? Yeah, I pitched it during the session, the audition session, kind of. Oh, and they stole your material? No, we put it in the thing. He said, you know, I said, I walk up to it, and it goes, do-do-do, penis detected, and it would open up,

and Larry thought the noise was hilarious. And then when JB's move came into set, That guy's funny. And JB's like, well, Santino! And he goes, do you want to be in the scene with Santino? And he said, come on, yeah, let me do it with him. Let me do it. So then JB took over.

You know, JB fucking takes over. And then so I'd be, you know, I go, for you, do a black penis detected. And it's, whoo! The door has to open up much more. And then Larry let us play him about it. So that was kind of a pinnacle. I kind of watched that.

What was it for you? Who was it for you? What was your like pinnacle of working or partnership or meeting? The Beach Boy thing was. That's the top of it. They were my, you know, I just idolized the Beach Boy. I love the music. And so to play with them.

Wouldn't it be nice? Yeah. God only knows. God, it's so wild. Do you like the Beach Boy music? Yeah, I like them. Not like you. I mean, music yeah I like them not like you I mean fuck

I don't play with them you know I mean it's that's did they pay you by the way when you go play shows with them yeah they don't do they

of course they do I mean it depends on the on the show on the event yeah is that ever a point of contention where they were like no I don't give a fuck about money

no I know but I mean it is funny that you're like guys yeah I'm in the band I would like a kickback no they were you, I know, but I mean, it is funny that you're like, guys, I am in the band. I would like a kickback. No, they were, you know, I would certainly do, like, we went to Australia, and that was a big money,

but I didn't give a shit about that. I wanted to bring my parents, which I got to do a lot, and, you know, that band, the Beach Boys, just became family, you know, and they had their families, and, you know, it's been incredible. This is a very corny question, but I don't give a shit. What is the next thing For John's name What do you want

Whitney Cummings She's pregnant She is dude You can't have that No Well at least you want to raise the kid You want to raise the kid No

Okay well She texted She emailed She FaceTimed me once And said something about The name Jessie And I'm going to have a baby And I thought she was kidding

No she's going to name her baby Jessie No Really Yeah Seriously Yeah Are you serious jesse is the name of the baby how do you know boy or girl whitney and i are very close really it's a good friend of mine she uh um she said her boyfriend loved full house or something and they're naming him jesse yeah my my original name on there was um adam or something andrew is not the right word name for you by the way people People call me Santino. Nobody says Andrew.

The great Santino. Santino, Santino, Santino. Did you do Brando or anything? Did I like Brando? Yeah. Did you do him? The real spin is that Santino, you know, Mr. Khan, who passed away. I know his son now was a friend of mine.

He's so strange. He's great. He's so weird. I played. There you go. It's so weird. Like his father. Because my name is very rare. Santino is almost never a last name. played. There you go. It's so weird like his. Because my name is very rare.

Santino is almost never a last name. Santino is Sonny. It's a first name typically in Italy. Oh, it means Sonny? Sonny is the nickname for Santino. Do you go to Italy? Yeah, every year. Yeah.

How long have you been with your wife? Seven. What's she like? Is she cool? Poof. Tough. She's pretty hard. Yeah.

Did you meet her out here? She's 6'6", 325. Yeah. Met her down there. Met her at the Rams training camp. She was training to be a linebacker. Really?

Big lady. Yeah. How's that going to play when you get home tonight? She'll be fine. Do you make jokes about her in your act and stuff? Not really.

What about your dad? Did he watch your special and go, hey, come on. No, no, no. Yeah, they know what's coming. Yeah, they do? Yeah, yeah.

They like it. Actually, they love, my dad, when I talk about my dad and he thinks know what's coming. Yeah. They do. Yeah. Yeah. They like it. Actually, they love my dad. When I talk about my dad and he thinks it's like my favorite, like I do this joke now about him not being able to connect the Bluetooth, the Sonos to the Bluetooth. Yeah. And how,

I mean, I really do fuck with them. I like to fuck with them because they fucked with us when we were kids, like all the time. And I say, you know, my, to my dad, he would say like,

how do I fix the fucking Bluetooth speaker? Like he would get so mad and I lie and I go, Oh, I'll bring up the manual and I'll just pull up my phone, but I, he would get so mad. And I lie. And I go, oh, I'll bring up the manual. And I'll just pull up my phone, but I'll be on Instagram or something. And I'll go, this says you have to unplug everything inside of the house. And he'll do it. He'll go around and unplug.

So I just like to plug it in. But I put stuff in the show because he knows he's very like, my parents are so not in this world. That it's such a wealth of genuine, honest, real material. Right, right. Because this world means nothing to them. They don't like- That's great though, right?

Yeah, no, I love it. They're totally disconnected from it. They're happy about it. Do they talk? Are they friends at all or no? No, no, no, no. My biological, no, no, no. They don't talk.

No, they don't. Do you have a stepfather, stepmother? That's who I was referring to. Yeah, my stepdad ends up in my show a lot. What about your real dad? He ends up in the show sometimes too. Who were you talking about who went to the hospital with COVID? That's who I was referring to. Yeah, my stepdad ends up in my show a lot. What about your real dad? He ends up in the show sometimes, too. Who were you talking about who went to the hospital with COVID?

That's my real dad. Yeah, I interchange them without delineating. Well, it'd be too hard to explain. Yeah. Like, this part's my real dad. When I say dad again, it's going to be my... Well, you could put subtitles. Yeah, I could do that,

but we do that for Spanish and for Italian and stuff like that already. Did you... I see you talk about it a little bit, but I mean, and I think you, I think you mocked, and the thing you're saying, people say,

oh, comedy's changed so much, but you really are pretty brave and you don't change for anything with the whole, you know, with being... I don't care. Because it's all fake.

I'll tell you why. It's all, it's, you, you would feel the same way about making some sort of art for television or film. It's fake.

It's fantasy. It's fantasy. It's all fake. Right. I just think that like my favorite comedians or performers or artists always stayed a little grounded in the idea that it's like,

you know, this isn't real. This is all for fun. This is for your entertainment. But they've taken people out for, I mean, I guess not for their act, right? Not really.

When you think about it, not really. You had a great joke about Chappelle on the trans thing. Yeah, yeah. Could you imagine if that was a long game

for him yeah it actually came out as trans no I just think it's like Chappelle showed up for Bob's stuff

he would and he was true comedy fan and he was great and I said to him I said you know the last couple years you know you're the goat

oh he did funny goat jokes that's the GOT the trans he loves it when I talk about it I do but you're not as bad as Bert I went with my friend Greg Garcia to Bert and I said Funny goat jokes. Greatest of all times. He loves it when I talk about it. I do. But you're not as bad as Bert.

I went with my friend Greg Garcia to Bert, and I said, because I like to learn about you guys before I go in. He said he loves to talk about himself. He loves to be famous. Bert does. And so I just did that, and it was great. And you're kind of like that too. No, I'm not. Yes, it's okay, though.

You keep putting it on me. That's what I do. I keep trying to ask you questions. That's what I do, because I'm fascinated by you. You put it on me. You know what it is, because you don't like answering too many questions about me. No, I don't mind at all. I swear.

But I'm interested in people. And if I ever did another podcast or something, I would be an interviewer. I like to interview people. I won't because it's too much. Does that shirt have buttons? If I hit, if I throw a stick out the window right now, I'll hit six people with a podcast. More successful than this one. No chance. No chance. No, I know. This is with a podcast. More successful than this one. No chance.

No chance. No, I know, this is a big one. This is a good one. This is the bigs. I know what you're getting. But wait, we were talking about comedy and crossing the line and being canceled. Well, no, you were just saying,

I just don't believe in that. I think some of the best artists I've ever loved, you can get mad at what they say for like a heartbeat, then it goes away. Do you, what's the, but I mean, is there a line for you? That's a good question. Like, would you make fun of,

you don't really make fun of people that much, do you? I don't make fun of people. I make fun of like myself for the situations that I know people that get into. I mean, but like, there is no line. If you have a good 9-11 joke, you got a good 9-11 joke. How soon would you wait?

9-12? I would have done, honestly, I would have done in October. Yeah. Yeah. You know, September, October, right. Yeah. You know, Gilbert October Right You know

Gilbert Remember Gilbert Did that on On one of the roasts Yeah Did you watch the roast Yes I watched all of them No

Never did any of them Never was asked Comedy Central was not a fan Really That's right Comedy Central I did a half hour with you You got two albums out of me

You didn't get me on No I'm not a roast comic I don't That's not my forte Do you Do you have a deal with Netflix Are you gonna do another special I might do another one yeah I don't know when Should my forte do you do you have a deal with Netflix are you gonna do another special I might do another one yeah

I don't know when should we get Ted on the line he's a Greek you know no are you good friends with him I'm yeah you guys go do

do you know how do you know how Jewish people have dinners like Seder together do you guys do Greek dinner together yeah you do what is that called for you guys

Greek dinner dinner that's pretty simple yeah he's a good guy Ted Sarandos yeah the guy that runs Netflix yes yeah I don't know him I'm sure he's a great guy. Ted Sarandos? Yeah.

The guy that runs Netflix? Yes. Yeah, yeah. I don't know him. I'm sure he's a great guy. I know nothing about him. Now's your chance to kiss his ass. Hey, Ted.

How you doing, man? I know you're a big fan of the show. Yeah. He's a big fan of comedy, obviously. He is. No, he isn't. And they run a good little ship of... Fools. Of fools, of selecting people that are moving on to next stages of their career.

Yes. Like our friend Taylor Thomason just got a late night show. She's taking over for James Corden. Oh, really? Oh, good for her. Yeah, we're really happy for that because it's like a good thing to see comics slide back

into the public world. Well, here's why. Go ahead. For a long time... Did she have issues? I don't know her story. No, no, no. I'm saying it slide into that world

of like the commercialization of comics again. Right. We did this a long time ago and then they took it away a little bit. They were like, we're going to stick in stand-up comedians being commercialized. Right. We did this a long time ago and then they took it away a little bit. They were like, we're not sick of stand-up comedians

being commercialized. Right. You know, with Nate Bargatze hosting Saturday Night Live. Saturday Night Live is a huge step for comedy, stand-ups.

Yes, yes, yes. That's great. Well, people need it right now. This world is, you know, Discord is at an all-time high and Decency at an all-time low, I say all the time.

So we have you guys to watch. And now with the strike, there's, you know, we're not working there's no new shows but you guys are out there killing it and making the world a better place we're trying i mean it one we're trying our best it's and is business better is good right now for you guys i think it's amazing because people want to go see live shit yeah they couldn't see it for

covid and now they want to see live shit because there's so much television i think they're inundated with new with tv slop yeah channels channels, with things. There's too much. I'm not saying the shows are bad. I'm saying it's so much going on. I have no idea what to watch. So for a live show, you can just go disappear for a couple hours. I love it. I love seeing comics.

Are you going to tour this book and do live shows? I did it already. I did everything. But I mean, are you going to do live shows with the book? I did. What do you mean? Like book signings and stuff? No, no, no.

Would you ever do a live show reading of the book? Oh, oh, oh, oh. Well, you do a lot of these. I'm doing something at the Nakia Theater, I think, next week. But you mean like life? Like I think Tyson

read his book live in front of people and he kind of like personalized it. Then they made the TV show about it where he would like... Who's Tyson? Is that... Michel Tyson.

Oh. Yeah, Michelle Tyson. He was a French boxer. Is he fucking with me? No, man. What are you talking about, Tyson? Mike Tyson, he wrote a story of his life, and he kind of performed it live a little bit on stage.

Rob Lowe did that. Jeff Ross is going out doing that. Do you know Jeff? Yeah, what he's doing... Oh, for his... He doesn't have a book, but... No, no, he's got a thing about his dad, right? About to take the cookies or whatever the fuck it was called?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why can't I think of that name? It's take the... Take the cannoli leave the gun no that's from the is that your favorite movie the godfather yeah not even close what's your favorite movie my favorite mob movie and what's your favorite casino rickles casino it's not even close yeah what do you mean do i ever billy yeah i mean my favorite scene we can't even say we'll have to blanket say it what is it oh when he calls him and he goes you know that guy ace you know that guy was with me he goes no but you know what he did he called me he told me to go fuck myself he disrespected billy he goes what you call my friend you told him to go fuck himself he's beating him with the fucking phone and then he goes he's already very sorry he says then he goes he's already very sorry Ace he's already very sorry

I mean that's one of the funniest I laugh every time I see that fucking scene because it's like you see this finally you see this relationship of these two characters who are balancing their power dynamic you know I know I'm reading into it but it's beautiful that like

Ace, Sam Rothstein is becoming who he really always wanted to be was the king right and his friends his peers are are going down and down and so as you see this weird shift of the scales they send in their yahoos which normally wouldn't have bothered anybody but when he called him that it disrespected him he disrespected his staff don and it was like you watch the power shift over the phone to this weird thing and he's like sorry about that but you could tell that is one of the beginnings of the oh wow that's it sam will ascend you will go down you'll end up resenting him and then it all explodes it's the beginning of the end i love it

it's i that scene is so funny to me it's so good I was having dinner with Don and Barbara his wife in Vegas after a show once and she said well you said we can't say that

she said Don you have to stop saying the word you said what? the word you said what? the F word fuck?

you can say that on the show I don't know yeah I know I understand and he said I didn't say it John did I say it? I said yeah about 7 times

shut up that's how dinners would be I'd sit in the middle of the two of them and we'd fight and they'd argue and she would say you know he had diabetes

don't eat that cookie I didn't order it no he ordered the cookie he said who ordered the cookie John I didn't order the cookie shut up and back and forth I'd stick him with a bill

and I'd run but he it was a discussion about that you know and I said you said it about seven times and he would add he wouldn't just say just the word and then he was saying you know it's a funny word you said it about seven times. And he would add, he wouldn't just say just the word.

And then he was saying, you know, it's a funny word. This was a while ago. Still is a funny word. That's what he would say. Yeah. But he would add like

F, Mau Mau, what am I, an F, Mau Mau pilot or an F, werewolf or something? We were like,

why do you put Mau Mau pilot? Fighter, what am I, F, fighter, Mau Mau pilot or something? He was, God,

he was so fucking good. One year for my birthday. He said, what do you want for your birthday? I said, I want to something. He was, God, he was so fucking good. One year for my birthday. He said, what do you want for your birthday? I said, I want to listen. He had one album that he did called Hello Dummy. And I said,

I want to listen to it. I want to ask, stop it, and I'm going to ask questions. No. I said, that's what I want for my birthday. No.

Come on, Don. All right. So we were listening and it stopped and I said, how did you do that? I don't know. I'm just being reckless.

I'm just, stop, let it roll. I'm funny. I got to show him himself on YouTube on on all the old uh you know tonight show stuff yeah right you stopped and started the whole album with him yeah did you get through all of it yeah because he told me to stop stopping he just said I'm doing Rickles he never had writers he didn't like people writing for him he didn't like Jerry Lewis well the new age guys we don't

none of us have writers which is kind of. There was a weird leak of the old guys that we started to find out they had writers. Yeah, like Bob Hope and Jerry Lewis. It turned us all off. I couldn't believe it. Well, if you're on a TV show, it's okay to have Kimmel and those guys. Yeah, you're not going to write a monologue every day.

Right, right, right. But I never understood when guys should act that other people wrote. It never really landed with us. Yeah, he didn't like it. And he didn't... Talk about Jerry Lewis on Letterman once somehow. But Jerry had written some jokes. He didn't want to do them. He said that guy, he couldn't, he didn't like it, and he didn't, he, uh, I talked about Jerry Lewis on Letterman once, somehow, but Jerry had written some jokes, he didn't want to do them.

He said, that guy, he said something like, uh, Walk-a-lon, you know, he was doing Walk-a-lon, and Letterman's now Don. Same thing with Bob, that nanosecond, you think, like, do I bail, or do I go forward? He goes, you know, when he sings that song, those kids get worse. Right. Letterman's gone bad.

But, um, it was that talk, and know it's so fucking like towards the end there you know he would get some flack and he did a joke about obama yeah he got he started well he didn't get it here's the deal you lose a little bit of touch oh or like presence of what's going on right like i said before i don't believe that you should censor anything that's going on in your brain but if it comes from a place of of honest comedy and no malice behind it well then it's harmless it's just it's just it's just floating thoughts right and they come and they go it's sort of like but but if you thought that was like you're a racist yourself if you're thinking that he was he was sort of like um archie bunker where he would you know show how fucking stupid it is

and make fun of it and if you know, and show how terrible it was. He didn't make fun of, you know, his comedy was hard to, I don't know if people would get it today, obviously. I don't think he knew how to do it. I think they would. I just think that people know, the hard thing to communicate sometimes

in a world that's so serious is that a lot of, most entertainers are being entertaining. They're being characters. They're playing something for you. That's the whole point. Right. So when you get lost in the idea of this life that you think is real, right, that's on you. So who we are to you in the world there is who you choose to make us be.

Who we really are is someone that you'll only get to know if you meet me. Same as you. I don't know who these people are that are listening. I'd only get to really know the real you if I met you. Not by a YouTube comment or by what somebody said you are or who you are or what you do. Right. The only real version you're going to get of someone is if you sit and speak to them. I know John Stamos now.

Now you do? Yeah, I know a piece of you for sure. I can feel you by the way you sit, your mannerisms, the way you walked in. Right. Yeah. The little kiss you gave me on my nose. I mean, it's strange, but lovely. Tell the truth.

It was on my mouth. I wish you'd kiss me on the mouth. People got to go buy John Stamos' book. You can get it audiobook by the way. And I do. I just listened to it a little bit on the way over here because. Terrible. It's not fun.

No. It's not good. Just read it yourself. I did Sammy Davis Jr. I do a lot of impressions of that. Yeah, very strange. You did some really bad ones. You didn't listen.

Did you listen to it? Yeah, you did like a Trump halfway through. No, I didn't. Yeah, you're like, I grew up in Orange County. I was like, this is not Stamos. That's a good Trump. It's not bad. Give me some more.

You really walked the line in the middle there. Was it a full house? How full was the house? Some say. Some say it was full. Some say it was full. Some say it was not full. Full of shit is what I would say.

Liberal agenda shit. Trash. San Francisco trash. Gay. Poop on their doorsteps filled with gays. Yeah. He came to a play

I was doing Cabaret in New York. Really? And he wrote How long ago was this? 15 years ago maybe. Right. And he wrote me

a letter after I got the note and said me and Melania thought you were great. It was a very nice letter and he signed it. Every time I saw him after that, Howard, he was at Howard's wedding. Did you love my note? Wasn't my note

the best? Just like he does this stuff. And no one else sent you notes, right? Yeah, no. People sent me notes. What was his name? Donald. He said, no, I got a lot of notes. I got a lot of telegrams. No, but mine was the best. It was okay. It wasn't super what did you do with the trump note i have it i'm gonna put in the book is it framed no gotta frame that dude i know i had it up i had yeah i'll frame it when i get home beyond all of the chaotic hatred of the the the the chaos that

trump called it caused the divide of the. That's a frameable note. You're right. And throughout the chaos, I was never into politics. I didn't grow up. Yeah, you don't vote. I vote. You voted?

Have you voted every time? Do you vote from the primaries? You vote? Yes. You vote every time? Never missed a vote? The last six years, I have not missed a vote.

I haven't voted since Bush won. I just did something. So, but my point was that when he came around and started kicking up all this dust i go what's going on over there and i really dug in deep into the political world and it's fucking scary bonkers yeah yeah i mean we're not we're we're we're you know i was just in dc hosting the points of light which was a bush thing oh yeah no political jokes i said no political jokes. I said, okay. What else am I going to do? Yeah, I guess I'll return this barrel of oil that I had right behind me.

Yeah, yeah. Burn. Bush. Bush. I want to let you go because I want you out of my studio. Right. No, but you do have to go do another one.

I don't want to keep you too much longer. Can I have your phone number? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I'll give it to you right now. Yeah, I don't care. Oh, my mom just called. Let's do it again.

Hey, mom. Let me talk to her. What's her's her name ma you want to say hi to john stamos yeah no you don't she's mad she's gonna be bummed are you all right you want me to send it all right there you go maureen oh hi maureen oh you look young your son looks beat up you look no wait a minute you look like his sister No I look good Aren't you proud of him? Yeah He's a good man

I was a big fan Well I became a fan About a year When that special came out I was like This guy's First he came out

I said he's too good looking To be funny And all of a sudden He was so It's quiet man Yeah He was so funny And I just enjoyed

Being on his podcast He was a really sweet man what do you mom did you um are you in Chicago yes I played at Ravinia all the time

with the Beach Boys at the Riv with the Beach Boys would you like yes I think we're playing I think we're doing it pretty um right after the

yes I'm coming up there would you come to the show if I got your tickets yes come backstage and say hi? Yes. Okay, I'd love it. Hey, Mom.

You're still married to Dad, you know what I mean? I'm talking to her. Just hitting on my mom. What were you saying? Sorry, I'm not hitting on her, but she does look... John Stamos hitting on my mom, live on my show. But she's pretty. Yeah.

She's very pretty. I don't know... That's why I look like this. You should have turned out better. Your real dad must... Did... Okay. Very pretty. I don't know. That's why I look like this. You should have turned out better. Your real dad must. Did, um. Okay.

I promise I'm going to. I'm going to make. Where are you at now? Are you. Downtown at work. Oh, you are. Where do you work? He doesn't know Chicago, Mom.

Yeah, I think so. I know that. Is it by Gibson's? No. Okay. Do you have any other workers around there? Yeah, Mom. Show him off to the crew.

Yes. No, she doesn't want to go out in the office. Yeah. Well, it's nice to meet you. Is it... Maureen. Maureen. What's her last name? Vaughn. Yeah. Yeah, show him off. Show him off. She wants to go show you off now. Yeah, all right. Well, it's nice to meet you. Is it, what's, it's Miss? Maureen, Maureen. What's her last name? Vaughn.

Yeah. Yeah, show them off. Show them off. She wants to go show you off now. Yeah, sure. What's her last, what do I call her, Miss what? Vaughn. Oh, I like that.

Vaughn. Theo Vaughn, too? Is that the separate? Yeah, that Theo is my dad. No, that's V-O-N. V-A-U-G-H. John Stamos. Hi, Jamie.

Yes, hi. Yes, hi. Yes, I turned 40. I lost a bet, too. I lost a bet, and now I'm on this guy's show. I just turned 40. John's much older than me, you can tell. I'm 60. I just turned 60. Okay, good.

My mom, this will be all day. You did this. This was a mistake. Yeah, you did this. Why would you do this? Hi, Caroline. My mom, this will be all day. You did this. This was a mistake. Yeah, you did this. Why would you do this? Hi, Caroline. How are you? My pleasure. Nice to meet you.

I have a book that just came out last week, and it's number four on the New York Times bestseller list, and I'm working promoting it. Your son said he read it, but I don't think that happened. I did, Mom. I read it, Mom. You know I read the book. He's a very smart guy, and I really enjoyed my time

with him. No more jokes. I'm serious. No more. Thank you. I really like him. He's got a story about his teacher said he was too hyper and ADD, and you went in there and said fuck you, and I'm defending my... You didn't say fuck you, but you defended him. Mrs. what was it, Mom? Mrs. Rose or Rhodes?

Rhodes. Yeah. So she looked at me very seriously, and fucking but you defended him mrs mrs what was it mom mrs rose or roads roads yeah she looked at me very seriously and she said uh is your son on medication that's right yeah and i i needed to take her out yeah that's beautiful he told that story i thought he was lying but no it's true that's so when was the first time well he told me he said it was a really important true. When was the first time? Well, he told me, he said it was a really important moment because it was the first time that he realized that you were standing up for him and everything. And then how about when he started to become successful? Were you just so proud and his special is so great?

I could be him. He's talented. Grateful. He's gracious. Tell John Stamos what I got you for Christmas last year. What'd you get him for? She made a face with her eyes. Tell John Stamos what I got you for Christmas last year. What did he get you for Christmas? It better be a car.

It better be a car. Wow. Bought her a car. I bought her a brand new car. My mom's never had a brand new car her whole life, and I bought her a brand new car. My mom's never had a brand new car her whole life, and I bought her a brand new car. That's beautiful. Zero miles, right, Ma?

Zero miles. My mom, I was very close with my mother. She passed away. I talk about it a lot. And my mom wrote me these really beautiful notes, and my sisters as well. And when I was trying to figure out how to write this book, I gathered those up, and my sisters sent me copies,

and I sort of laid them out. Did you write any notes to the little guy over here? No, never. I used to write her notes. That's okay. That's great too. It's never too late. You should write them. Tell me what are some of the things he misbehaved about? Well, I mean, he got some of the letters

and sent them. I would say, I'm sorry every time I screwed up. I did bad stuff. Well, like, what was his...

I got caught doing drugs or getting kicked out of school or, you know, all the fun stuff. Right, Ma? You know,

yeah. Anything, basically. Yeah. I could see, I could see that. His face is the same color as his hair.

But he's a good boy and boy and you're proud of him. I find you so much more interesting than your son. I was like, please call your mom or anybody that I could talk to besides him. Mom, I'll call you later. I'm so sorry about all this. This is the book, Mom. Will you send this to your mom? Yes, I will.

I'll sign this for you if you want. It's called If You Would Have Told Me. If You Would Have Told Me. If You Would Have Told Me. One day I'll be on the Santino show. Yeah. All right. Bless you.

Yes. I heard you guys were brought up Catholic and then, you know. And we had to leave. My mom taught CCD. Oh, really? Yeah.

Yeah. We weren't that active because my mom was a bad Catholic. So we didn't really. Terrible. You mom was a bad Catholic So we didn't really You're not a bad Catholic to me Yeah, you're all grown up She's very pretty

She is That's why I'm so hot That's why I'm so hot, John Bye-bye Mom, I love you I'll call you later I love you too, Maureen We'll see you

Bye-bye Thank you She blew a kiss I know she did That was beautiful Honestly, I'm going to have to talk to her about that I love you I'll call you later I love you too Maureen we'll see you bye thank you she gave me she blew a kiss I know she did and I'm gonna have to talk to her honestly I'm gonna have to talk to her about that that was a beautiful thing

I'm not okay with that I thought that was very sweet wasn't it you gonna sign this book for me to send to my mom yeah alright listen but wasn't that a nice moment

it was really nice I really do appreciate it I wanna tell you that I really appreciate it no we won't cut it out I mean literally it was way more interesting by far by far

by far um i want to thank john stamos uh for for being there for me when i needed him most when today yeah i need you today i will be i will be there with you i'm available um you can go buy his book anywhere books are sold uh if you would have told me is a phrase that, as he says in his book, many people would say, uh, in their real life. If you would have told me X, Y, Z. Do you have one? Um, if you would have told me I'd be sitting here doing a podcast with, uh, John Stamos, uh, 15 years ago when I first moved to Los Angeles, I'd say that's a crock of shit. What's a podcast? That's what I would have said.

Yeah. What is a podcast? What about McCrone? crock of shit yeah what's a podcast that's what i would say yeah right yeah what is a podcast what about macron macron if you would have told me that uh i would literally make a guy's life a loser from minnesota and like give him a life in the industry um i would say sounds right sounds like me i have a big heart what's how do you spell your mom's name m-a-u-r-e-e-n maureen the loveliest. And while you do this,

I want you to think about something. Yeah? I can't think and write. Interesting. We end the show the same way. When we end it, I want you to do this. This is important to me.

I never got it. It's one word or one phrase. That's stupid. No, no, I want it. It's amazing. You're so smart. And I want you to look at that camera. Okay, come over here and bring your mom over here.

She's hot, he just said. She's hot? Oh, she's high. John Stamos wants to say hi. Who? She's hot, he just said. She's hot? Oh, she's high. John Stamos wants to say hi. Who? She's driving. Oh, hi. She's beautiful, too.

Hi, McCrone's mom. How are you? She just got in an accident. I'm kidding. You guys should start a band. All right, McCrone's mom. Nice to talk to you. Nice to meet you.

My pleasure. You, too. Bye-bye. She's pretty too Yeah His moms are hot Yeah but his mom is like 25 He's a kid Yeah

Maureen You are What did you say? Little Red Sunshine? You are lovely You are lovely I'm lucky to have met your son I'm lucky to

I'm lucky to be such good friends With your son That's what I like With love and peace And it's J-O-H-S No no please I know you were thinking about it And I know you think it's stupid

But honestly Listen this was a great interview We talked about a lot of things. In my opinion, I listen to a lot of podcasts, and this was one of them. This was funny. This is a good one. So we should not crap it up. I mean, you asked great questions.

We talked about really interesting things. This one-word bit, I have no—what is it? Because it sounds dumb. I mean, you don't need gimmicks. No, it's not a gimmick. It's gotta be a gimmick. It's a sweet,

sweet moment to end the show. Here's how we end the show. You look into that camera, you say one word or one phrase that's meaningful to you in any way, shape, or form.

Could be funny. With you, it probably won't be. It could be anything under the sun that you want. And then? To end the episode. It's a way to close it off

kind of beautifully. You know an old, you know, remember the old Looney Tunes? That's all folks. This is my That's All Folks. I gotta go. I really do have to pee. So right there, look into that camera. One word, one phrase. What do other people do? They usually use their brain or their heart.

But this is a gimmick. Santino. Say that under the camera. This is a gimmick. This last this is say that under the camera this is a okay there he goes this is a gimmick this this this last bit on santino's show i could think of something better but i refuse no no that's good really that's good do it did everybody do this yes everyone literally everyone's done it you know we've had we've had so many good ones what good guests have you had on here uh tony hawk skateboard yeah like the greatest skateboarder of all time. Is it skateboard? Yeah.

I took a guess. Wait, really? You don't know Tony Hawk? The greatest skateboarder? But skateboarding, what? I mean, I can't do it. I'm sure he's a fantastic athlete. Tony Hawk!

Yeah. Who have we had on the show that John Stamos would know? That's, who have we? Dana Carvey? Did he do Voices? Sure did. He's funny. He's incredible.

Who else have we had on the show? Kenan Thompson who just came on from Saturday Night Live. One of the funniest guys. Who was it? I believe it was Steven Soderbergh.

Do you know who that is? Yeah. The director. How did you get him? By the way. Look at me. Are you on? Did you do something with him?

I had John Cena on this show. Yeah, but oh, because you did a movie. We did a movie together. Yeah. I bet you're a really good actor. I'm an okay actor. I'm not, I'm not, I bet you're a really good actor. I'm an okay actor. I'm not, I'm okay.

I'm good enough. We're going to cut this down to a tight 20 minutes. I would hope so, yeah, at this point. Thanks for having me. Thank you, and I'm going to say a last word for John Stamos, okay? Now it's cut to me for the first time in the history of the show. Really? Go buy this book.

It's actually very, very good about a guy who you think you may know but you kind of don't and this may open up a few doors into the world of stamos that makes you fall in love with them even more than you already have in here we pour whiskey you're that creature in the ginger beard sturdy Sturdy and ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are beautiful. You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse. Gingers are hell no. This whiskey is excellent.

Ginger. I like gingers.