Whiskey Ginger with Andrew Santino - Josh Adam Meyers

Episode Date: February 7, 2020

Santino sits down with comedian and ex strip club DJ Josh Adam Meyers to chat about being raised in the city that Trump occupies, taking 3 hits of acid and reenacting child birth in front of his parents, his celibacy while microdosing and rising up from being a strip club DJ to selling shows to comedy central. TICKETS AT http://www.andrewsantino.com/ FEB 15-17 VANCOUVER, BC, CANADA FEB 22 BAKERSFIELD, CALIFORNIA FEB 28 DETROIT, MICHIGAN FEB 29 ATLANTA, GEORGIA MAR 6-7 PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA MAR 13 CHICAGO, ILLINOIS MAR 19-21 - MOHEGAN SUN, CONNECTICUT MAR 27 CINCINNATI, OHIO MAR 28 CLEVELAND, OHIO APR 10 PORTLAND, OREGON APR 11 SEATTLE, WASHINGTON APR 16-18 MIAMI, FLORIDA APR 19 WEST PALM, FLORIDA APR 24-25 - SPOKANE, WASHINGTON MAY 9 PHOENIX, ARIZONA JUN 5-7 SAN DIEGO, CA JOIN OUR PATREON!!! https://www.patreon.com/whiskeygingerpodcast BUY SOME MERCH https://shop-andrew-santino.myshopify.com FOLLOW CHEETO: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ FOLLOW CHEETO TWITTER: https://Twitter.com/cheetosantino FOLLOW JOSH ON TWITTER: https://twitter.com/JoshAdamMeyers FOLLOW JOSH ON THE GRAM: https://www.instagram.com/joshadammeyers/ FOLLOW WHISKEY GINGER ON INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/whiskeygingerpodcast/ FOLLOW WHISKEY GINGER ON TWITTER: https://twitter.com/whiskeyginger_ SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS OR WE’LL COME FIND YOU AND KILL YOU...FOR REAL CLEAN UP YOUR SACK WITHOUT NIKIN YA NUTS! THE NEW LAWNMOWER 3.0 WILL MAKE YOUR ROCKET SMOOTH FOR TAKEOFF 🚀 GO TO https://www.manscaped.com ENTER PROMO CODE "WHISKEY" FOR %20 AND FREE SHIPPING...COME ON. GET THE BEST PAIN RELIEF USING OMAX CRYOFREEZE GO TO https://omaxhealth.com PROMO CODE "WHISKEY" FOR %20 OFF Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Mom, Dad, I humbly suggest you save some money and shop Amazon for back-to-school. It's for my growth, meaning my body's growing at an alarming rate. And clothes you buy me this year will be very small very soon. Plus, the clothes I love today will be out of style tomorrow. But at least your wallet doesn't have to be my fashion victim if you shop low prices for school at Amazon. Hopefully this is helpful. Amazon.

Spend less, smile more. What up, Whiskey Ginger fans? Welcome back to the show. If this is your first time joining us, welcome to the show. Do yourself a favor and subscribe. Go on any audio podcast app that you've got. Please rate us well. Give us them five stars.

Leave a good comment in the comment section. Let people know that you're enjoying the show and spreading the love and spreading the word at a whiskey chinch. Thank you so much. This episode is a good one that you picked. I'm back in town from Louisiana. Had a phenomenal time taking some me time with some boys. I chipped my tooth. Uh-huh. Put it on Instagram. I chipped my tooth on a crawfish boil. I don't know what I'm doing, man. It's embarrassing, but I'm back and I'm ready to hit the road again. Next week, I'm going to be in Vancouver, Vancouver, Canada. That's how they talk up there. Vancouver, Canada. I'm going to be in Vancouver for JFL Northwest. Then the following week, I'm going to be in Bakersfield, California, back here in Southern California. In the final two days, two weekend days of the month of February,

I'm going to be in Detroit and then Atlanta. Excited for that. March dates are also up. Of course, Philly is the first weekend in March. Then I do Chicago, my hometown. Then I go to Connecticut, and then I finish off the month of March doing Cincinnati and Cleveland, Ohio. Shout out to Ohio.

To my boy Travis Kelsey, who won the Super Bowl. Pretty incredible. He's an Ohio boy. Big ups to that dude. If you want to see the rest of the dates, go to andrewsantino.com. That's where everything is. People keep asking, where can I find this? Where can I find that? andrewsantino.com is the only way to get all that stuff. Don't buy tickets from these fake bullshit sites. They're ripping people off. I'm sick of hearing about it. It makes me so angry. Go to my site, buy from my site. It's secured and it's legit. So you're not getting ripped off by some third party website. Go to andrewsantino.com for all the tickets, all the dates. Also go there for merch like this amazing

hat. I've got a collection of incredible stuff on there. Hoodies, t-shirts, beanies, or toques if you're Canadian. And also that's where our Patreon is. If you want to join the Patreon, it gives you exclusive access to things about the show that no one else gets. Special guests, special surprises. They also get live Q&A, different tiers. So go there to get the Patreon, the merch, and also all my tour dates at andrewsantino.com. That's the number one place to go. Don't be fooled by the rest. Stick with the best, okay? Whiskey ginger fans, a lot of you might be living with chronic pain, and it's the worst. I understand millions of Americans suffer from this. I suffer from pain myself from running. I've been running for years and years, and I have a lot of

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that's O-M-A-X health. You know how to spell health.com. Use that promo code whiskey, get yourself 20% off. And for now, enjoy the episode. In here, we pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey. You're that creature in the ginger beard. Sturdy and ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are beautiful. You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse.

Gingers are hell no. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers. now this whiskey is excellent ginger i like gingers that was um god it's it's so funny how you almost want him to win the presidency no because no way that's insane yeah but just you can utilize that i know that ben glebe yeah somebody said that so perfect world snl perfect world is is sorry is that you uh is that you follow him at the improv or at the comedy store. Yeah, and I give it up for my friend Ben Glebe. It's such a specific restaurant.

All right, here we go. Let me break us open. Ready? Yeah. Yeah, baby. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Whiskey Ginger. My guest today is one of my favorite people on Earth. I say that for all my guests, but I mean it once again today.

It's Mr. Josh Adam Myers. Yeah. That was good, dude. You have that fucking intro. You know I can talk from a million miles a minute. And my favorite part was how many people were like, Cetino's on drugs, dude. He's on Adderall or Coke.

You know I've never done Adderall? Really? Never, dude. Never, never. Have you done Coke? Huh? Have you done Coke? What? What are you, a cop? I mean, dude, your listeners do Coke. coke as i've you know i've never done adderall really never dude never never it was never coke huh have you done coke what what are you a cop i mean did your listeners do coke dude no no actually dude i haven't i've never done coke i've never done coke i've never done adderall i didn't do coke because my father was a coke addict ah ruined my family yeah no i don't do it but i've

done a lot of drugs but i did all the drugs that seem more fun to me you know like i loved mushroom i did mushrooms so many times in high school dude i did like three weeks ago i took mushrooms and went to see limp biscuit ah at the roxy really dude and you know it's funny it was the most beautiful experience of my life did he still have the red hat he was wearing it was right before christmas so he's wearing a santa outfit let me tell you something because i said that to somebody else i was like yeah you took you took mushrooms and you went to see Limp Bizkit? I was like, yeah, dude. And they're like, dude, those people?

And I was like, this isn't Nookie 1999. This is 40, 45-year-old Nookie. This is Nookie 2020, dude. Yeah, this is, dude, we've grown. And I'll tell you, dude, when he was performing, the energy in that room was unmatched. That was up there with going to see Cat Stevens. How old is he now? He's got to be 50? Give or take. that room was unmatched like that was up there with like going to see like cat stevens how old is he now he's got to be 50 um i'm 40 so i would say yeah i'd say about 50 like maybe late 40s yeah

no no he i don't think he's in his 40s i think he's got to be 50 by now because when he was having the peak of his career uh someone on the internet right now is like what the fuck you don't know they're freaking blowing up arm anyway i'm trying to get him on the on the 500 he'll do it right because we have nirvana coming up and you have let's make a reference for what you're what you're saying for people that don't know josh has a podcast called the 500 available where all podcast audio is r am and but listen to it on spotify because it's a spotify original they pay me and i love you spotify yeah they're not listening, dude. They don't give a shit.

Are you kidding me? They're in the bars right now. They're always listening, bro. Have you ever gone on your app and done the music where it's kind of like they pick the music for you judging by the rest of the stuff

that you listen to? Yeah, the radio. Dude, they did a playlist that was called Your Old School Jams and it was music that i haven't listened to in 20 years and i've never played it on spotify and they knew it they do remember that song that was like here we go here we go for the jupes and the booze and it's big david yeah yeah i get open

with that and i was like get out of my head i was like how do how do they know? They return back to your high school days. They dug all that shit out of your soul. Do they know? Spotify knows. So listen to the show. I did an episode. We did a review of the Fugees. Fugees' score, yeah.

The score, which is one of the best hip-hop albums in the history of hip-hop. So I'm going through Rolling Stone Magazine's list of the 500 greatest albums with other comics like Santino and christina p and i this week uh i had neil degrasse tyson grass tyson dude the scientist and we taped it uh in his office at the american history museum in new york city very very then i got like a fucking free pass like vip to the museum dude i was like touching like eskimo furs that like nobody's

it was the shit you go by yourself well you know i mean i'm not letting you i'm very charismatic dude i'm like i was like you also look like you might rig it to rob it that night you know i mean i'm not letting you and shit i was like oh this is great i'm taking photos of everything in these vents they just go throughout the whole thing like out to the roof yeah this goes right outside this goes right outside okay so one thing i want to broach with you before we even move too far forward as you know i'm a massive sports fan also a big time baseball fan very jealous very angry very annoyed very pissed off but you had yours dude i know but i couldn't fucking believe that it blew my mind but i think it blew my mind so i'm a nationals fan so everybody knows. You're a D.C. across the board fan.

You're not just a... Nationals here. You're a D.C. cat, right? You like all D.C. shit. Except for the Redskins. Trump, the Nationals. Huge Trump fan. 2020, baby.

And he's done junior in 24. That's right, baby. Let's get his son in there, dude. Now, I love the area that I was born. I love Washington, D.C. I love Maryland. I love washington dc i love maryland i love virginia much like you love chicago so yeah so when when it comes to when the capitals won in 2018 and then the nats won this year i just care about those people because we grew up you know not just the district but more like the outside surrounding areas much like chicago it's very middle class

very low middle class. And a lot of the people that live there have nothing. They have nothing, but they work, they have their kids, and then they work more. Which in essence, truth be told, is everything. Do you know what I mean? Like we say they have nothing. They kind of have everything. They have family, they have a job, they have friends,

and that's kind of as solid as it gets for them. Okay. You're 100% right. But most people aren't into Eckhart Tolle like we are, where they're not present. 100 right but most people aren't into eckert tolle like we are where they're not present so they're thinking why didn't i do this or like did i marry the right woman and it's just that's but that's a lot of people though man it is and a lot of dude and how many people that you grew up with dude are fucking like when they were 22 like had they it was all mapped out they were like planned yeah a lot of people's life is planned a lot of people

that listen to the, to the podcast, they probably are living that life right now, contemplating what they're going to do for the next move. And I'm going to tell you my advice and Josh will tell you the same. Leave the girl by the gun, sell your shit, tour the country,

do fentanyl, fentanyl, man. It's great. Proud sponsor of whiskey ginger, fentanyl ginger. We're sipping on a little bit of fentanyl today on the podcast. No, but I think, yeah, you're right, though.

So for working class cities, when they win championships, it does something to the city. It reinvigorates the city. It brings it back to life. Now, granted, the Nationals, you know, that wasn't like a working boys team. You guys had some gangster ass ballers on that. It's not like you were like coming out of the blue. Everybody on that squad was legit.

It's not like it was like one for the little guy that you guys had us. You guys were stacked. Rendon Soto. Soto is probably going to be one of the best, but he's gonna be up there with like Mike Trout. He's 21 years old. He's a child. He's a kid,

dude. But here's, what's the thing is that you have last year you have you have harper leaving yeah and which was great was great well in in the long run because because in my opinion when you have someone as big as harper and you know this being a harper for listeners that don't know phenomenal ball player but bryce harper brings an extra hundred cameras to the locker room and everybody's studying everything because you have this guy that's got perfect hair and he's a showboat media frenzy exactly so you get rid of him the team

could just play baseball that's right now the national started horrible not horrible i guess 19 and 31 is not horrible but that's like baseball standards it's fine actually it's not that bad but they had a 0.01 chance of of winning the pennant in may 31st and then they put 100 grand on that i mean but who knew i know and i don't bet on my teams dude because i've i've like one i've just i'm not like a gambler but also anytime i ever did like all right i'll take that bet skins are gonna beat the fucking 49ers and yeah i always lost and i get on the school bus and people are like the black guys like oh in your face in your face ronnie lott ran all over your ass and you're like all right all right tyrone so i don't want to go through that again but with an adult bookie yeah yeah yeah you don't i don't know if bookies

do they do that they go oh you just lost go, whoa, whoa, whoa. Oh, shit. You just lost $100,000. Give me your money. There was that one dude who bet all that money who was betting the mattress king that was betting all that money. Oh, yeah. I saw that. That dude. He was putting down-

On their Astros. Yeah, a million bucks or some bullshit. It was just promo for him, which is the smartest marketing media scam I've ever seen. That guy deserves so much more credit than he ever got. All that dude did, legitimately, was trick the media into thinking he's spending money. That was his marketing budget. That's actually quite smart.

He's got free media. Anyway, congrats on all that shit. Bought two mattresses from him like three weeks ago. Oh, you did? Yeah, Sotva. I don't know. Sotva's a popular, that's what everybody likes. It's all Sotva.

They don't sponsor the show. I'm not going to talk about Sotva's. No, but I do think what I want to talk to you about that I've been kicking around in my head over whether or not to talk about it. But lately, a lot of people have been posting a lot of Angelo stuff. Now, people that don't know, he's one of your closest friends of all time who passed away tragically, unfortunately. And you've been posting a few things about it.

A lot of people have been posting a lot of stuff about it lately it comes back around again um for people who are unfamiliar with the comedy world um there's still plenty of stuff online you can find not there's like there's like maybe six sets that he has that are online that's a good amount i feel like i have that many and i'm alive like There's not a lot of shit out there sometimes, but you can go look up Angelo's stuff. It's great. Angelo Bowers was very, very talented, very funny. Probably your best friends.

And what was powerful about Angelo is in the same effect that people talk about Mitch Hedberg was a great singular joke writer. When I listen to old Angelo, it reminds me of the same stuff that I listen to with old Mitch, where it wasn't perfect, but it was great. Do you know what I mean by that? It was kind of like this sweet moment of him also finding it sometimes, or him denying that it was good, or him wiping away.

Mitch would do the same thing. The similarity I found was Mitch would often go, all right, we can cut that out, all right? Angelo had that same thing. He would do that often. I don't want to harp on him a lot, but it's been coming back up in my social feed, and I'm so curious about how that works.

It's like the internet knows when you're in a mood to feel, to give you some feels. Fuck me, because I was on some feel shit with the old bag and i were scrapping at each other and then that happened i'm on the shitter i see you posted some some and then it got me in this emotional kind of moment i think it helps uh ground us yeah because we get so floaty dude a stand-up so you know like in your podcast you're doing stand-up you're trying to do this and then and you kind of don't get back down to earth. And then I got grounded from that.

So it was interesting. He's probably taught me more about how to be present and live in the moment and enjoy this, this ride. And not get upset that you have to drive to, like I have to drive to Long Beach after this to do the Laugh Factory. Don't do that. And it's going to be, but it's going to probably be like 15 after this to do the Laugh Factory. Don't do that. And it's gonna be but it's gonna probably be like 15 people

there in a room that seats 600 but I remember one time we drove out to the city of Orange to do a bar show and we get there and there's two people at the bar and that's the show and I go what the fuck dude and Ange goes what are you upset about dude we're on the road

man we get to do this and it's by taking the lessons that that he taught me and you know i hate to say that it's like someone has to you have to lose somebody like brody brody was so positive yeah and it's so funny because he was so positive yet he was so he was down he was down and but he gave us all these life lessons and angelo taught me how to appreciate the moment how to enjoy art and really the reason i'm doing the podcast yeah the podcast is because angelo loved rolling stone loved that magazine and he he loved that list and we would talk about it and and then when when he died because barely before he died he's always shit on me that i

didn't know anything about music he's like dude every you should know which is ironic because you love music but i love you just don't you just didn't have as much of a depth as he did yeah well i dude i much like all of us i know the shit i grew up listening to so hair metal grunge and then i got my like the stuff in the 2000s that i was fucking with and then you just get busy so you start you just keep listening to the same old shit over totally so when i went through this like full like you were saying that moment on the toilet i went through that on a far bigger scale where i kind of had my midlife crisis when i was 38 and i know i look like i'm 60 so but it was only two years ago come on dude that's not true i look if i shave this off i look how old are you now 40 i just turned 40

i love it i love it i love it because i got a great life and like we talk about ang i've learned all the mistakes i made them i made all the mistakes when I was younger, man. And now I'm not selfish. I think about others. I know how to be present. I know how to really love. Yeah. And I know how to love myself.

And the best thing about fucking podcasts, especially doing Sickler and Jays, like the Crab Feast. Yeah. Dude, all those shitty stories of me fucking up are now these positive things because everybody loves them. Yeah. those shitty stories of me fucking up are now these positive things because everybody loves them yeah so they're not these things that i like carry around like i got three duis and i fucking did lsd once and reenacted my own childbirth in front of my parents now it's this great thing that that people love so it's like turning your you did that you reenacted your childbirth in front

of your parents yeah when i was uh 16 i took three tabs of lsd three hits of acid yeah that's heavy dude it was i mean there's some acid head that's just like not really dude it's like yeah it is man try to call me when you hit 15 bro he's like by the way and you reenacted your birth in front of your fucking mom well what had happened was we were all chilling in tasos's backyard in this 10-person tent, right? And Tasos was this Greek dude with, like, long hair. And, you know, we're, like, 15, 16 years old

and it's nighttime and we're smoking pot and we're tripping balls and Tasos is sitting on a couch in the tent and it's, like, gas lit. I don't know how he got one of those, like, those little, like, fucking urns that, like, Ichabod Crane would look around with. And he fucking he fucking is, fucking is philosophizing.

And the light is coming up on him. And he looked like a god. And then he's like, and the meaning of life is this and that. And then I start looking around the tent. And then bugs started crawling on everybody. And I started seeing swastikas all over the tent. What? Dude, I hate Nazis.

You do hate Nazis, dude. do hate them dude i hate them i love watching the documentary which is really and i gotta tell you gave some credit that's not conventional it's very like going against the grain for you to hate nazis they're in right now because they're back they're back they're back in full fledged you know i am i am one hardcore dude hardcore nazi yeah i don't care if that's taken out of context everybody knows that i'm not joking around even a little bit, you know? Yeah, no. So swastikas are everywhere.

And then I just like, was like, I got to get out of here. And then as I, everybody could tell I was a little agitated. Yeah. So then they all followed me out of the tent, which if you're tripping balls and have like eight other people like going,

are you okay? Are you okay? And then I just started running. And then I ran. Cause it was three miles from Tassos's house to my parents house and dude like running on mushrooms is fun running on acid I don't know dude like you have to keep in mind this is three tabs I haven't even hit the peak of it yet and so I'm running so my heart and my blood everything's just moving so that acid just got so strong and I dude I literally

I don't think I've ever ran that hard in my whole life acid run an acid run i was a usain bolt dude and i just took off and i remember i started peeling off clothes and as i was running like i started like seeing like my flesh peel off my hands and at one point i was running through the desert and then i ran into this field and i saw this enormous cricket and then i was like ah and i like finally get to my house by the time i got to my house i was holding on to my wallet and wearing underwear. And that was it. And I knock on the door and my mom opens the door and I like mush her face.

And I start like running through the house, like, and then I see my cat. I'm like, who sent you? And I throw the cat and my sister gets up and my dad gets up. And then I, all I remember is laying on the ground in my parents' bedroom. Like, like, and as I, and this is why i reenacted my own childbirth was that your brain is so powerful and you you don't realize that you hold on to these images so the way that you look right now when i see you in 10 years like your brain still has this image impacted into it so it just it knows it so i started looking as i'm laying on

the floor like making these weird noises i assume i was doing like everything in the room started benjamin buttoning and getting younger the tv changed to the to the tv they had right before and my mom got younger and then i just started like shriveling up and i just remember going it's a baby and then i just spun around the floor and then i fell asleep. Jesus Christ. 15 years old. Now, this is the best part. Then I wake up the next morning. And my mom's on the bed.

I'm in my room. My room's trashed. My mom's like petting my head, crying. Did she know if you were on drugs? I mean, come on. But she's like, what happened? What did like what happened what did you do and i just go i think somebody must have dosed me dosed you and she was like she's like well come downstairs and we're having breakfast and i went downstairs and we never spoke of it again whoa really that's

awesome never talked about it never brought up i went to the the denver broncos redskins game my dad the next day didn't say shit he knew saying in retrospect he never brought it back up no one ever brought it back no one ever brought it back up wow nothing the first time i smoked pot was inside my buddy's house and we were blowing hits into a into the vent yeah thinking we were never gonna get caught and we went down to the basement the basement had all these string lights on it we were watching like a some mtv show and we were losing it, man. It was so incredible. I was like, this is the greatest thing I've ever.

And we had the giggles and I was like, this is, I want to do this for the next 30 years. And I did. And I do. I was like, okay. It was awesome. And his mom came to the top of the stairs and yelled down to the basement. And she's like, whatever you're doing, you're in deep shit.

And I was like, fuck, she knows. She smelled it. We thought blowing pot through the fucking air vent was going to work in the bathroom. It didn't work. This is because

it was the middle of winter. We weren't going to go outside. It was fucking like negative nine in Chicago. It was ice cold, dude. So anyway, then that, then that,

we were like, fuck it. We'll just face the consequences in the morning. We had fun. We go to bed. We wake up the next it. We'll just face the consequences in the morning. We had fun. We go to bed. We wake up the next day. I'm thinking, we're fucked.

Like, she's going to call so-and-so's mom. And so-and-so's mom's going to tell my mom and all this shit. And we walk upstairs. And she's got coffee made and eggs scrambling. And there is a box of like 50 does like 50 donuts you know what i mean like when it's like the these like it's like a massive costco it wasn't costco it was sam's club that's what they were a box of fucking donuts just open on the table for like us four boys or whatever and she's like sit down and eat and we didn't say one fucking word about it just we just i was just like thank

you for the donuts she and she was just cool i think she just was like i thank you mrs weaver for the donut yeah yeah she i think she was just like boys are they're like the least they they did the least damage that they could have been doing we just got a high in the basement like my parents same like exactly story not like nowadays my mom is like wanting to give my grandma drugs she's like can we get marijuana i'm like yes but when i was in high school my parents were like weed is the devil now my mom was like can we get thc for the family to heal i'm like yeah so i get my mom my mom's got fibromyalgia she's got a lot of back pain she's had cancer twice i get my every time i go home i'm bringing her fucking cancer two times she had she had cancer twice but like very my mom is she has health insurance and she

fucking uses it like she's at the doctor all the time if you have anything so she had breast cancer and it was small so she had to do radiation for it and they caught it and they cut it out demeaning it's still cancer no i know i don't mean to i don't mean to like poo-poo it but what i'm saying is if my mom had like they're like they'll never nothing will spread to stage four she'll get it at the before one how great she's she's very fucking incredible most people they're like you're dying and you're like well how much do i have they're like a week you're fucking when was the last time you went to a doctor and you're like i don't go i think about that all the time i don't go oh i need to go so i just went to uh i just went to visit my mom for the holidays and i haven't been to a doctor probably since i got in the car accident with ang that was last time how many years ago eight years wow eight years i thought

i was gonna say six or seven now it's eight years it just passed through the anniversary january 3rd and my grandfather my dad's dad died at 41 of a heart attack my dad didn't he he had a leaky valve had that fixed and then had an aneurysm when he was 69 and the stroke killed him because he had all these procedures done he just couldn't handle it so he passed but in my head dude i was like there's been nights where i've done so much cocaine i'm just like hey, hey, God, like, like, is it? I'm going to go. I'm not. OK, now do more.

And then you're on your 15th set of teeth. Yeah, dude. I mean, it's I just should have like I have these weird neuroses about my heart. Like, dude, if a girl spends the night and she puts her head on my heart to like snuggle with me, I'm like, you got to get off. Please just don't. Oh i have this it's weird but not anymore because my sister who's a doctor her husband's brother-in-law works at a hospital and does the ultrasound for hearts and for like babies right yeah and they fucking gave me a stress test and for all free free stress test oh yeah free ultrasound on the heart heart is perfect got that

money heart so i was like that night i started eating all this fatty food i was like i'm fuck this shit dude i was like yeah you want more nacho cheese but that's the logic of americans that's like my dad dude my dad has to take heart medication you know has to take blood pressure shit and all sorts of other stuff he'll eat the most fucking dog shit food and i'll be like dad that's not good for you. And he'll be just like, I got medicine. Like he thinks because he's got the medicine,

he's like, fuck it. Now I can rage. I'm like, no, this is supposed to make you get better because you fucked up so much. I think it's hard though, too,

because his generation, you know, meat and potatoes, they paid their dues too. They're like, I'm done, dude. I'm gonna eat what I want.

I've luckily with all the years that I took, didn't take care of myself for the last, well, even when I was taking painkillers all the time, dude, I still- What did you take? Fentanyl. Big fan of fentanyl. Yeah, fun. Dilaudid. Dilaudid's big.

It's the best, dude. Oxycontin. Oxy30s were the best. Don't do them. People at home are like, I always say to people, you gotta do fentanyl once. You're gonna do it again.

That's the problem. For real, that's gonna be your book. You gotta do fentanyl once. Josh Attenmeyer's, you gotta do fentanyl once. Just do it. Sit around, scratch yourself, dude. It's the best. Ketamine, it's the best like ketamine it's the same type of thing people get these k-holes and they like just like drug binge disappear out

i don't i don't like drugs like that i like in a super interactive drugs yeah k is not an interactive drug which is funny because i used to take that at raves and like i would like meet the hottest girls and and like hook up with them at the nightclub in dc high on k jesus and not be able to like function and say words like i would just still get it done dude it was dude it was the language of dance it is it was the language of dance so i'd be like i'd go up and all liquid yeah go all liquidy and then be like oh what's your name and i'd be like, oh, what's your name? And I'd be like, that's fuck. That guy's hot. That's fuck. He can't even speak. He's so hot.

But K was, that was 19. K's a fun drug. I would never do it again. My neighbor is constantly trying to push K on me because he gets it from his psychiatrist. So K's big and it treats depression and PTSD and all this other shit. Yeah, I've heard this. They to trying to learn how to dose people with it very small amounts to help

that stuff i don't know enough science about it i just feel like uh anything is going to get abused so if they can find ways to do it good but i just feel like you start with that stuff you're like i want more well i take i take mushrooms once a week once a week once a week how much like a little cap maybe a stem no but no booze for you no i don't drink no i smoke pot i'm la sober i'm that's like i always say i'm la sober no well no booze no pills here actually there's a better way to say it nothing that's man-made yeah everything that grows out of the earth like i do i i smoke pot but only pot i only do at night because it fucks with me a little bit. Well, see, I like productivity levels. I don't like to get high during the day.

Something about the moon that I'm like, I'm going to get fucking high. But I like the sauce. I like to have a couple of the drinks because that's like the perfect, to me, like having a drink and getting a little stoned, it's like the perfect chemistry. Some people it doesn't work for. I love it. Really? Yeah.

Oh, my God. I love it. One of these and one of these? One of those. And then if I take one or two glasses of the sauce and then I smoke a couple hits of a joint, I am in my perfect place. I've seen you like that before. JFL 2013.

Well, that was fun. I've never seen anybody work a room like you dude i was on mushrooms really oh wait no no no that was brooks on mushrooms no that was that was the last couple of times i was there maybe not that time maybe not the 13 but i did mushrooms ari gave me sounds like something you do yes somebody gave i think ari gave me mushrooms the last like two or three times ago and i was i had way too much fun i had like oh rick glassman's parents were there right wasn't rick's dad there i can't now i'm fucking confusing things anyway yes i i that that's my perfect spot though a couple of drinks a couple of hits and i feel great now the

problem is if i'm out with friends i have a couple of more drinks a couple more hits and you're just like and i fumble into the i don't think i've ever seen you wasted I don't get you've always been like dude you're fucking fun party dude you're the fun dude you're the fun confident funny guy that's like cool and then you get a couple drinks you know you are you're Dean Martin dude I'm Dean dude that feels good

if I'm Dean you're who Sammy yeah dude just a Jewish black guy tap dancing not as talented If I'm Dean, you're who? Sammy. Yeah, dude. Just a Jewish black guy tap dancing. Not as talented as everybody else through words, so I'm fucking like, I'm not going to be a ski Latin, dude. But behind their back, he's like,

fuck these motherfuckers. More talented than everybody, just nobody recognizes it. But that was the truth. His talent was actually being the best at being him. He was the greatest at being like, oh, dude, i'm a fucking self-made dude sammy davis jr had to deal with racism and segregation and he was a movie star

a television star a music star and could dance did broadway like dude sammy davis jr was the fucking he's probably one of the greatest well-rounded artists of the last hundred years it isn't that funny that you used to have to do all those things? Like you used to have to be so much more. No, if you were black, you had to do that. Not if you were white. Dude, fucking Dean Martin could barely sing. Those guys were pretty specific.

They couldn't act for shit. But what I'm saying is like that generation was, you got a lot further along in the business if you were Lucille Ball. If you could sing a little bit and act a little bit and comedy a little dance a little bit like if you could do if you could do everything a little do you mean judy garland or lucille judy judy judy yeah like she's yeah there was a there was a that because people used to do that people used to do everything because you kind of had to to make because you wanted they had that drive of being the star but isn't that ironic we're doing that now like now yeah you're not just doing comedy you're doing podcasts you're doing comedy you're doing sketches you're doing this you're doing stand-up

like now we're going back to you have to be a a multi-talented juggler it's just a different media that's all it's just a different form you know yeah which is dope i think it's great it gives us more opportunities to like meet people and see people and shit also the communities that created from these things i think are the richer this is this is the one time that i've ever been like fuck yeah social media because the community that we get to create through these things and the bouncing of ideas and artists that get to collaborate this could have never happened without the fucking without that shit it's the greatest thing on earth i think i think for me stand-up has has helped me but stand-up also gave me a lot of neuroses. And the way to fix that has been through podcasting.

Yeah. Because I'm sitting, I'm having a conversation, I'm present, and then acting. Learning the art of acting is like, that's been more therapy to me than any psychiatrist I saw. Do you know what I mean? Yes. Just the idea of being able to listen yeah be there and and just be still it's like those two things and and that's like i can't like it's invaluable for the growth that the growth that i've had over the last few years well we jump we jump forward but let me jump back real fast

good so once a week you do mushrooms and how much do you take just a little bit enough so i'll do a gram so like there are nights that i because with the podcast i spent dude like because i'm getting ready to do lil wayne with delia and wait what's up so i'm getting ready lil uh delia's doing your arch enemy is doing the carter three he's doing the carter three and so i want it to be good and i have these writers and they send me all this info and then i fucking like you know read all the shit and then i do my password i listen to the record so i spent six hours yesterday listening to lil wayne the card of three and breaking it down it's a great album and then i had nothing to do afterwards so i was like all right i guess like the rest of my week's busy so

i'll just take a little bit of mushrooms you know meditate walk the dog, take the dog up on a walk in the hills. And, and I just take just enough where the colors burn a little bit brighter. And then the rest of the week after that, it's like, it's just like, there's like a, all right, I'll give you the better example of just the way to explain it. So, cause you were talking about ang you know ang dies january 3rd uh from january 3rd until may 16 2012 i was on at least 200 a day of opiates because like all these people like donated money to me they give they basically gave me like here josh take care of yourself you know use this for doctors and i'm like this suicidal depressed guy who just lost his best friend and his girlfriend. And I was like, cool,

I'm just gonna eat this in painkillers. Ainge was your girlfriend and your best friend? I remember Brittany left me two weeks before. Oh, really? Yeah, you didn't know that? No, I didn't know it was right around that same time. She left me for a guy that, because I said,

I was like, yeah, hang out with this guy because I thought he was gay. You remember because- Wait, wait, who's the guy randall you had oh can i tell this you had lunch or dinner or something and they were at a table and you came back to me and you were like dude you got out easy dude you're good yeah yeah you are good yes and i love britney to death but you know that guy randall was a fucking was a nutbag yeah but regardless it was at the time during a breakup you don't realize that it's the best thing for you sure like we were done but i just couldn't see it in that moment but i also she leaves me and then i'm

like well it's all good i got ang and now i can finally hang out with ang every second of my day and we can just chill and he can stay at my house and blah blah blah and then he dies and so now i'm just like i'm completely empty and then all the people all the comics that came to visit and love me and my friends because i got out of the hospital and was so high on painkillers everybody was like oh well you seem all right so see you later dude we're not gonna text you every day we're gonna go back to our lives as they should and so i was just alone so i'm on opiates until the end of may then i go through my detox i finally had my moment where i was like i'm done and then i was like happy for like a week or so because you have that like pink cloud where you're like you're like dude i beat it oh my god this is great i'm the best i could do anything i can do anything and then the emotions and the depression hits yeah and it hit hard man and that's so june was rough and then

july 4th was um 4th of july and there's that big party that uh nate craig and chris fairbanks throw it's in venice i don't think they do it anymore but it was a shit because it was like the club comics and the alt comics all just high on mushrooms and weed and whatever and uh i mean it was like you know pete holmes was there and cumel and fucking canane and everybody was taking mushrooms and i had been sober but i was just like you know what i'm gonna do some mushrooms and i took maybe a cap and a stem and and it was just like it was like this awakening of of emotions of of like being able to like deal with stuff and and then the next few weeks i was riding this like high

yeah and then the funny thing was i didn't do mushrooms again until maybe six months ago and i did them at skank fest of all places too that sounds like the place you would do well it was that's the funny thing about Skankfest. I don't know why you haven't done it. You gotta fucking do that festival. I was supposed to go do it, but I was on the road. And now I'm on the road again when they're down in Houston. I'm not gonna be able to make it.

You'll come into the one in June in New York. You have to. Summer, I'm coming. You have to. Yeah, summer I'll be there. Because you would just, it's the best. The reason I did it was because the people at Skankfest, even though they look like juggalos,

it is the best energy of any festival I've ever been at. And so supportive. And then the jam is like the craziest shit ever. And I remember I was like, you know what? A lot of people are taking mushrooms. I'm going to take a little bit. And I did the jam. And it was just this beautiful thing.

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And I think that's what mushrooms do that people forget is that it's this, if you take too much, you could trip balls and yeah, colors look cool and music sounds good. But if you take just enough it's it's literally like it's prozac yeah it just gets in your blood and it awakens like serotonin and all this other shit so since now over the last few weeks i found this guy that gives you like little capsules and he like crushes it up and so like little pill like little pills yeah but but it's mushroom pills it's not like it's it's not like chemically made. He literally just grinds the mushrooms up, puts them in a capsule,

and it's just enough where you might feel just a little different, but it's the days after mushrooms that really help you. Right. That's where I really like it. The post-growth, right? So I'm telling you, I went from being miserably depressed in 2012 to being this like

just being able to like be there and connect and love and you know the the emotions that that when you go through like a tragedy or if you're depressed you just forget about that you have all of those the there's so much good in us and sometimes we just get fogged up with all the bad and like you choose to be depressed regardless of anybody says well my life and my this and my job now you can there's people that are like dirt poor you know fucking who's the the wasn't that jiminy cricket who's the you know fucking christmas everyone yeah that dude they're fucking broke the motherfucking that's what i'm saying it's like dude you choose to you you choose to you choose to let it um

anchor you down and drag you right like chemically yes depression is a very very real thing that's undeniable for sure but also yes you can choose to make it worse that's all right dude good grab you got it you got it in time dude just a little more that's a little moisture dude that make you nervous about depression a little bit man it's Did I make you nervous about depression? A little bit, man. It's the same thing where you're like, we're being videotaped, okay. Jesus Christ, they're all gonna call me out at minute 22. By the way, no one's ever gonna see this.

This is only for my private collection. I'm not even posting this fucking episode. Are you kidding me? This is just for me to jerk off to later. I just imagined you'd just be here. Tell me about it. Are you single right now? I am.

Yeah? Yeah. Hey, ladies. There was one recently. Dude, I took two years off from dating because what does that mean so like if a girl just was like hey let's fuck oh i still fuck no yeah but but there's you took two years off from paying for someone else yes and no uh you're you're right in the sense that that is what a date is yeah you're paying for somebody paying for somebody so all right so you go back i'm married i i know what it is dude i get it

out of the game for so yeah but i get like what i'm saying i'm not being diminutive homeowner i'm not being diminutive towards women but the biggest fucking scam and feminism that nobody wants to talk about is the fact that dating is simply us paying to to you. That's a fucking rude, fucked up, unfair, one-sided. And when women are like, I go dodge or I pay, every woman, I don't care what stretch of life they're from, always agrees in the majority, okay, if a couple may fight me on it, the majority like it when a man pays.

It shows initiative. It's nice. It's sweet. It's a great gesture, okay? Yeah, and I actually like paying for things. I do too, but that's not the point. I'm going to fight you to pay the check for the table for the if you're that guy i'm that i love with a woman for with with my guy friends i just want to pay i just want to just being generous

well no because it's like you hang out with like ari and fucking and soda it's soda and big j yeah just pay for everything and i'm like i I love that about them, but it also shows that it's like, dude, we work hard and we all make money. So it's like, let's all just, I'll get it this time, you get it next time.

And it just feels good. It's a good feeling when you show up at the table and you're like, don't worry about those guys already. It is cool. It's cool that you can do that. I like that.

I'm just saying when it comes to dating, that's the one thing that I was always like puzzled by that I'm like, why is all this burden on this dude when it should be a mutual thing? I'm getting know you you're getting to know me type 100 yes it's not fair that a guy has to we have to spend you know what is it two months salary on a fucking ring like why don't they buy us a ring yeah why don't they chip in on the ring i don't even i don't even fucking wear one because

i think they're silly bones but i do think that no you're like you're like uh you're like shades from uh or the lead singer from that thing you do where it's like people can't know you're married people can't know you're i didn't know but i mean i talk about it so fucking much it doesn't even make it now i didn't know you were married for like i think it was like two years went by you're like oh yeah but then you know yeah she's my wife now and i'm like yeah you were in a relationship i like to keep it i like to keep it under the my private life and my comedy life for a long time for the stand-up world was so separate i didn't i wanted to keep them like away from one another and now with this it's like part of the fun is me talking about the old bag you know they love that and like you know i i just think like that from comedy perspective it was a professionalism thing it was like i don't need that

thing to overlap because i really it was like i'm giving these people everything already what do i get what do i get for me do you know what i mean that's how i felt all the time i was like you know i just didn't want to you know like some guys like you know like uh kreischer you know like leanne is just as much involved in comedy now as fucking he is like she's everywhere and that's their comfort level i couldn't operate like that because it would just be hard to balance for me emotionally yeah so i always needed to separate them so some people are so much better at it but it's hard dude but in the podcast world you almost have to be real because they you know what i mean

people that's what people love they want to know yeah they want to hear what you're dealing but we only give them what they fucking need would you ever get married i want to you do want to get married so yeah so so the the short kids and shit the short story is the reason i took the break was because i went through like i went through a midlife crisis at 38 because i started thinking about like like death in the sense that i'm like dude my my great my grandfather died at 41 like my dad died at 69 like i'm lucky if i get another 38 years we all are if you're 38 if you're 40 and you get another 40 that's because nothing is guaranteed so i went through my crisis created the podcast out of that crisis because i was like i want to be moved i want to i need something to to make me cry and give me emotions

and i was like music and then i got out of a relationship that with a girl that was depressed she was depressed and i was depressed because i was coming out of a depression and i got her out of my life and not and it sounds worse than it was it was just like dude i just think that we gotta we gotta move on we gotta move on yeah she's so sweet this girl but it just wasn't what i needed and then i just was like i i started then i started going to therapy and i started going to my guru and and then i started like meditating and i started reading all these books and it's just like dude i was like i haven't loved myself ever. And so I was like, I got to figure out how to be okay with just being me. Cause I had all this like survivor's guilt. And then, you know, all those, like I said, all those stories and shit that I, that I

told on all these podcasts, it's like, I wore that. So I was like, I need to fix that. Then I can, then I can learn how to love somebody else. Right. And so I just, listen, listen if if like you said if a girl I met a girl at a at a place and we're just vibing and she's throwing you know this let's just fuck vibes I'm not gonna turn that down and I didn't but it was like the idea of like of like really meeting somebody I just wasn't even looking and I was almost like oblivious to the girls that were throwing shit at me.

And then it was probably a few months ago where I had friends that I knew that I liked. And they were like, we want you to meet this girl and go out. And I took it really slow with her. We went out on like four dates. First of all, most of them were like, you were talking about. What were the dates? Fucking daytime. Coffee?

Well, first one was coffee because i was like i'm not gonna spend money on this chick if i don't know her smart you know what i mean i want to get it's like it's like a pre-interview yeah you don't get my money yet you do she did get a scone soon you do she got a scone bitch got a scone who's gonna get a nine dollar scone all right can i have a piece you say that to the register like she wants a coffee and this bitch wants a fucking nine dollar scone this one's got so she got a scone all right can i have a piece you say that to the register like she wants a coffee and this bitch wants a fucking nine dollars scone this one's got so she got a scone and a coffee yeah scone and a coffee but we talked for like four hours in one sitting in one city holy fuck and then i was like oh because we had a lot in common and she worked in music she was a songwriter and

i was like i do what the fuck i do and fiona apple go ahead god i wish that's who it was nope it was natalie and brookley and we and when then i was like all right and then we went out we went on we went actually on two lunch dates then we went out then dinner and then we did dinner gotta do the official then we went out on a group date with other people fuck that to an escape room oh fuck that times two but it was it was fun because the people i went with were fun the other couple yeah you like that i because i never done an escape room so i never actually no that's not true i did one with sickler which was the greatest thing ever so how many people were in the escape room with four four people so me the girl and then another

couple yeah and then afterwards get out of course dude we took some clues but i never done i'm still in there dude i i found yeah i left them they couldn't figure it out fuck them dude every man for himself that's escape room laws they're dead they died there because they can't get out southern california couple dies in escape room more at nine on ktla uh but then we and then i was like remember after the date i was like after the escape room i said to the couple i was like so we'll all go out and get some food yeah and they were like no no no we gotta go home and they were like yeah you guys and then we went out and got like like really ethnic food because it was late so we went out for like korean korean food like the reason i say

like really ethnic is the only way to describe this restaurant is by being racist by being like it was like bong long like my dong was like, bong long, lick my dong, ching cha ching. I mean, it was loud. Bong long, lick my dong, ching cha ching. Is that what I said? Lick my dong? Perfect. I didn't know I rhymed like that. Dude, I'm Andre 3000 of racism. Yes, you are, dude.

And I'm big boy. I want nothing to do with it. I'm gone. I'm back in Atlanta. You're going to wear Muppets' pants? All right, I'll be over here. See you later. But then we were at this restaurant, and we started talking about something. And out of nowhere, we started both singing this random Stone Temple Pilots song.

Which one? You know, I got a girlfriend. She goes to art school. And at that moment moment that was the first moment where i was like oh i like this girl because all the other dates i was just getting to know her and i was like man i don't know i mean on paper we should i should date her but i don't know if i'm feeling it yet and then at that moment i was like all right and then i was like do you mind if i i was like can i kiss you now? And she's like, in this restaurant? And like I said, it was like, it was bong long.

Bong long lick your dong? Bong long lick my dong. Wait a minute, you asked to kiss? Yeah, just like a peck. Very, very, very polite. Very 2020 of you, dude. Yeah, and then we fucking. You were like, may I kiss?

May I fuck you now? Well, then, you've never done that? May I fuck you now? She did ask me if she wanted to. She was like, do you want to fuck me tonight and i was like no man me and the old bag been together a while i we skipped i skipped the time period when you had to ask for permission you never did like an annie hall type thing like where he's like let's just kiss now and she's like really we you know i don't think so because it breaks the tension it's

like there's certain times you go out on a date i think in high school i probably had said one of those uncomfortable things i was like i really want to kiss you it's only uncomfortable if you make it uncomfortable yeah i really want to get usually i would just go for it you know usually you know that's the thing every no one wants to talk about i think brennan neil brennan had a joke about that he's like every first kiss is like almost you know rape you know what i mean like it's like every first kiss is like this could go really bad but for the most part every time i ever kissed anybody it's like you knew i never had an instance where a girl was like what are you doing i've never had like i've ever had a girl uh dismissed one of my kiss attempts no because i think you knew you were like this is i knew and i'm also

a good looking guy yeah dude you're not i'm not fucking you know i'm a babe dude even even this grizzled version of me i've only see that's that's the fucking that's the that's the the weird thing of life is that women have us beat from 18 to 35 but 35 on we like we got you it's like then we're in charge we look our best at 50 for some weird reason yeah but then they die away after us yeah we die we die first sounds good to me they get to take the brunt up up front like a marathon we get the long lasting end of it all they're just stuck with all our shit stuck with my bullshit dude later i think this is i think this is great but one day you do want to knock it down and do all that shit you want to have

a little i do i i so that ended uh because she didn't want to commit she had been in a long term relationship but she didn't want and she was like i'm not gonna which kind of pissed me off because i was like i was like i was like why would our friends set us up if you didn't want to be a relationship because what i want and i think i think this is like what i from years of dating and all that shit i now know exactly what i want. I was like, I want to be alone. I have about maybe two nights a week to hang out with a girl. And that being said, that might even change week to week. So I like being alone. I like my life now.

So I'm not going to get involved with a girl that, because all my other relationships, like we started dating and then they moved in immediately. And I don't want that. I want a girl that is focused on her career and has her own friends that's huge because none of the other girlfriends ever did they were always like what are we doing tonight and i'm just like we're gonna go i gotta go with my buds dude i don't

what i did i'm your bud uh okay do you want to get a blackbuster again i'm like oh no that's not even around anymore but that's what i'm saying is like i i am now being very particular and uh and not i guess thorough is another word too very picky yeah that's good be picky yeah i do want kids and what's good about being a guy is that i can create life up until my death yeah your pipe still works i could get milked on my deathbed as it's like, boop, boop. I could just be like, boop, and create life. Put this inside of something. Carry my seed.

I don't think you'll ever have the old man voice because of your voice. Yeah, he is. Because you're so guttural. But no, you'll never have the old man. You'll never have the old... You'll just be like this. You'll just be like an old black dude.

Hey, how you doing? Oh, my grandkids, it's it's your zady have you said hi to your bubby it's a part you do have the perfect and you worked in a fucking strip club you're the perfect strip club dj i was and you were that for a long enough time i was you know it's funny um because i i haven't worked in a strip club in over four years i used to go in there every once in a while just to remind myself why i need to work hard do you know what i mean go back when you and i'm talking like once a year right once a year i would i would drive by dames well there was there was yeah dude when i was mostly like because like there was some homies that worked at some of the strip clubs. Dude, I worked for like six years. And like I would go to like, there was, I worked at two clubs.

I'd go to one because this guy that I loved was like the door guy there. And if I was doing a show out in the valley, I would just be like, it's nighttime. I'd be like, oh, well, I can just go kick it at the, you know, at Spearmint Rhino for an hour and then go to the- Where was it?

Spearmint Rhino, where was that? Burbank? Van Nuys? No, there's Van Nuys. So it off uh sepulveda and oxford yeah dude they're always like when there's you know like strip clubs are always around where they make like cement yep you know what i mean yeah it's an airport it's always by an airport by where they make cement cement but in the middle of nowhere there's always a train track somewhere no trains ever go on that anymore by the way there's always a train track somewhere. No trains ever go on that anymore, by the way. There's always a dead track near a trip club. There are tumbleweeds and always a Mexican with an ice cream cart and the bell.

Like, hey, Yoss, you want a choco taco? No? Okay, have a good day. Does ISIS want choco taco? No? Okay. So, but I would pop in there. But that one was more like, that was to see a buddy to get the

awakening of how proud i am and and the reality check of that all of this could go away if you just don't if i do drugs yeah if i if i don't if i lose my focus so i actually did it fuck man like like uh maybe like a month ago i was i was coming up to five and it was kind of early and i was like you know what fuck it i'll stop by i'll stop by dames and games and i i pull over and i go in and dude it was it was fucking like a lot almost it's been four years same people damn all still working same dancers too there were a few i was gonna say usually they cycle out pretty fast dude there was a girl that was i remember when she when i was working there she got married this girl was so sexy and she's like she was like i'm out she's like i got married she's like it's my last shift y'all

and i showed up fucking four and a half years later and and i'm talking to the dj who i fucking hated that guy i almost walked up to him to say hi to him only so i could be like wow you're still here you still got my old shifts thursday and friday night the ones you wanted so much cool that guy i almost walked up to him to say hi to him only so i could be like wow you're still here you still got my old shifts thursday and friday night the ones you wanted so much cool man good for you dude and then she walked up and it like broke my heart and you could see it in her face seeing me knowing that i've because she's like so are you you're still doing you're still doing comedy because the funny thing is they don't know about any of my success when I was telling them, yeah, I sold a TV show to comedy central.

They're like, they just were like, okay, whatever. Can you put on that new Lil Wayne song? And then I'd be like, it was, nobody believed it. So, so it was, it's still like, it was, it was this moment where she came up and, and she was just like, what are you doing? I was like, I'm doing standup. She's like, you've been doing good. I was like, I mean, I, you know, I sold TV doing good i was like i mean i you know i sold tv shows sold a

podcast i'm gonna be on comedy central january 10 it's just like it's just it was it was only reason i went was really just like i said to remind myself but also it's that sometimes i need that little bit of ego feeding just enough yeah to kick you up into high gear yeah just to make me do that place broke me dude it made me a full-blown drug addict like i was well it's so available huh where are all the girls on some shit for the most part not all everybody's drinking they're all drinking because you gotta drink because you gotta be got it yeah you gotta be there's gotta kill all that shit yeah so there were some sober girls there but they didn't make any money the fucking girl the girl that's like yeah we're gonna have another bottle a sober strip club would

be so sad like if the if the if the girls and the patrons are all sober what a miserable weird uncomfortable strip clubs are no alcohol but now there's new trip clubs i saw a sign that said you can do full nude with booze no no there was something in la maybe you're thinking is it is it the wet spot or is it or xfinity or whatever the wet spot that's that's the part of the bed after you fuck on you have to decide who sleeps on it that's the wet spot right you're like no it's on your side of the bed you sleep in a wet spot no i uh i saw a sign somewhere that said i don't know the wet spot because the wet spot is attached to this other club called Excelsior or Xfinity or Spectrum or some bullshit.

Spectrum, Spectrum, Xfinity. She's like, coming up to the stage, Verizon Fios, y'all. She comes out. She's like, what's up for $49.99? You can also get phone. You're like, we don't want phone. Just show your snatch. Just stop trying to give us

satellite she's like you know you can add fucking you can add internet if strippers were sponsored had corporate sponsors that would be the future that would be so funny like i don't need this fucking money i'm sponsored bitch she's got a fucking she's got like a tramp stamp that says like you know wells fargo or cricket wireless yeah she pulls a phone out of her pussy she's like here call anybody it's on cricket but but there's definitely there's there's definitely uh depressing strip clubs in the sense that there is no alcohol people drink in the parking lot the girls drink in the locker room and they black out and then go out together um no there's a lot because a lot of the...

I mean, I've seen everything. I've seen girl... I have a video on my phone of this one black stripper laying on the couch with throw up all over. Her name was Brie. Her name was Brie. She was great. Nice girl.

You dated a lot of strippers. Did not date, no. You dated. No, I did not date any strippers. I mean that. I mean that sincerely. I fucked a few. You fucked a lot. But I did not date. No dated no i did not date any strippers i mean that i mean that i fucked a few but i did not date i know i didn't fuck a lot all right the reason being is because when i first got into the strip club djing business i worked at a place in van nye's actually it's north hollywood it's called desire it was a shithole and big john was this big black

guy that hired me and he goes he goes you never dj a strip club before no and i was like nah he goes all right you know you're gonna get trained by murder and murder was this big samoan guy i see him in my head already like from the booyah tribe like you know had like braids like like two pigtails yeah uh jacked not jacked fucking fat like power lifter like big motherfucker there's something under there though like that kind of fucking his forearm was like like a triangle you know what i mean and i remember murder was like he's like the only reason you're gonna be doing that this job is to get that money girl wants you to play a song five dollars because you're trying to get that money everything was for money

and he said to me in in a very you know ebonic way that there is so much money that can be made through hustling and if you fuck girls do drugs and just you know and or party or whatever he's like you're gonna lose that money. The only reason the girls are here is to get paid. They're not trying to get laid. So just focus on the money. So when I worked at like day clubs, I wasn't making much money.

So then I fucked around. I did drugs. I tried to fuck the girls. But then when I got to a club where I saw the potential, I mean, when I worked at Dames and Game, that shit was an ATM, dude. I was making 500 to 1,000 a shift. That's great. And I was, but I mean, I was like focused. It was making 500 to a thousand a shift that's great and i was but i mean i was like focused it was money money money i wanted it's the only reason i was there

i hate this job so i just want money it's a shitty place to be right it's and it but i mean i was fucked dude it was like i was like all right you want to dance to little wayne uh good cushion alcohol well just letting you know that's the most popular song right now. So a lot of girls are going to ask for that. So I'm going to need $200. You can be your song all night. $200 right now. And they do it. Oh, you want to go next?

Well, you've got about 25 more girls ahead of you. But the guy's going to leave and then you're not going to be able to make money? Alright, that's cool. I need half of the money that he throws on stage and I'll count it. Okay okay and they were all cool with it they didn't say no huh that's just how it works that's the system it's it's all a hustle they're hustling those guys i'm hustling them sure plus i get a dollar for every dance they do so if they do there's 500 dances on the board i'd get 500 bucks that's great it was it was great money

wise there's no salary They don't give you any No there's an hourly I'd get a paycheck I only work two days a week So the paycheck Came out to be Like you know

$200 for two weeks But You know You made all your money cash Yeah That's smart I was about to say something And I was like

Yeah I probably shouldn't say it For tax purposes What's his tax purposes The fucking government's Not listening to this. Dude. As I say that, they're tuning in. Okay, go ahead.

Now we're listening. Go ahead and let him say what he's going to say. We're both getting audited in fucking April. Come at me, dude. Let's go. Well, no, I'm just saying it's just like being a server, man. You're getting cash tips. So it's not real.

So you're just off the books and you're getting money back at the end of the year. Yeah, but you deserve it the most those people are working extremely hard to make not a lot of money dude when i was a server we used to claim you'd have to you couldn't claim zero you couldn't claim you made nothing that night because then catch on to you so i'd write down they'd be like i made 10 bucks tonight or 12 bucks it's like yeah just let the government have whatever petty idea of what i make anyway because i wasn't making enough to go dude i'm robbing i'm blind yeah i know but i put zero but you're not supposed to because then they then they really start to come at you i don't want to say what i was about to say just i pay my taxes i'm a good boy i paid

a lot of money because i didn't do my time i didn't do 17 and 18 i just did both those years finally and i'd pay a lot of fucking money yeah they'll get yeah i'm not excited about 19 you and wesley snipes dude they'll fucking get you. Don't get locked up for that shit. No, I'm not. That'd be the most bogus way to go to jail is for taxes. Like, how sad.

I know. Tax evasion is such a pathetic way to go to jail. I know. No, you're good. Now you're clean, right? I am clean, but I'm not excited about 19.

And you just told me you were all out of debt. I'm 100% out of debt. Dude, that's fucking incredible. You know, people like, it ruins people's lives for decades and decades that you're clean out of debt that's so huge luckily i i didn't uh pay back any debts

for seven years and they just go away so a lot of stuff just left you got bailed out but my student loans i'm i have a couple more payments but i mean it's nothing like how many how much was your total student 35 000 that's a good amount of money to have on your shoulders. Yeah, but when you don't think about it. When you don't think about it, it doesn't matter. And you don't use credit. Like for years, I didn't use credit. It's only been.

It's good debt. Student loan debt's good debt. Well, now I'm using it because now I'm getting back into filmmaking. Like I wrote a script that I'm making a short and I'm getting the production team together. So the two things I've been working on have been acting and filmmaking. And it's like, I always wanted to be a filmmaker. And then I worked on standup. And I feel like standup is going so well.

And in LA, it can only go until my credits get bigger. I can't really jump up to where I wanna be. Like I'm up at the store, I'm up at the improv, I'm up at the Laugh Factory. Would I love to get up more? 100%. But what I'm up at the store, I'm up at the improv, I'm up at the laugh factory. Would I love to get up more? A hundred percent. But what I can control is the other stuff I'm doing. Yes.

And so I, I was like, I mean, I went to film school and I, and I loved it. And then I just didn't do anything with it. And now I just am like, I've gotten this,

like there've been so many great movies coming out that have really just sparked that fire in me that I'm like, no, I'm going to write and direct. And I'm going to get somebody. I sold two things in my life. The two ideas that I had, I sold both of them. So I'm like, well, I'm going to get into a room with somebody that has millions of dollars and have them give me $5 million to make a movie.

the network to make you know to put fucking house sparks on television singing acdc and spend a million dollars an episode i'm pretty sure i can sell a great idea that i wrote well that's good dude yeah fucking pumping away keep swinging that bad dude will you be in it nope no fucking way no but of course dude i love you i know you will but you you you uh just to do some fun little plugs real quick that you, uh, you already have, uh, you already have your comedy central set. That's out right now. You can go to comedy central.com and watch it. Bill Burr presents.

Bill Burr presents. Yeah. Bill picked, uh, I think 18 comics, me, Rosebud Baker. Who I fucking love. Who else? Uh, Geordie Ploy, uh, JF Harris, uh, Eleanor Kerrigan. Eleanor the shit. Uh, Rick Ingram. Love my guy. It was, it was great. Oh, Eleanor Kerrigan. Eleanor the shit.

Rick Ingram. Love, my guy. Yeah, it was great. Oh, Brenton Biddlecomb, who I love. Love, also my guy. Who else? This guy, Kyrie Shabazz, that fucking killed it. Great name. Yeah, dude.

White dude, which is crazy. Blind. Blind. Blind white guy. Mormon. Mormon. Blind white Mormon big name in the Mormon religion

is Kyrie Kyrie Shabazz and Shabazz is a family woman so go watch that now on ComedyCenter.com CC.com I think is where you can see all that stuff it'll probably be on YouTube

it's probably on YouTube at this point it's probably on YouTube yeah and then go to Josh what is your website you got a website dude

it might have been shut down I love that you don't even know if it's still running I mean I hadn't updated in a long time we'll put you in the description we'll put all that shit

joshadamires.com I'm joshadamires on all social media but listen to the podcast that's my favorite thing in the world we'll put it in the description below about his podcast

called The 500 start with my episode that's what you should do no it's great his is great it's actually really we go into very great depths people

a lot of my fans I've talked music on the podcast a lot a lot of my fans, I've talked music on the podcast a lot. A lot of my fans are like, you got to give me new music suggestions. Because sometimes I'll suggest music when I'm on here. I usually go through my phone and tell you what the new clips of things I'm listening. The band Tourist, the Tourist I've listened to. You know Tourist?

You know that, man? Yeah. That's a new thing to check out. Check out the song Elixir. I really like that shit. Will you send me the link? Yeah. Share it to me.

I'll share it to you, baby. On Spotify. On Spotify, dude. Spotify. Yeah, I'll share that shit you said me the link yeah share it to me on spotify dude spot yeah i'll share that shit but um in the meantime uh listen to that shit listen to 500 he's got so many great guests that have already been on that fucking show and way more to come thank you for coming to this dog this is great this was so much fun you are the best so here's what i'm gonna do i'm gonna walk away you gotta look into the camera you can either say one word or one phrase by yourself with me out of frame to end the episode. Go ahead.

Fuck. Oh, shit. All right. Shabazz. In here, we pour whisk, whisk, whisk, whisk, whisk. You're that creature in the ginger beard. Sturdy and ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse.

Gingers are beautiful. You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse. Gingers are hell no. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers.