Whiskey Ginger with Andrew Santino - Josh Potter

Episode Date: September 6, 2019

Santino sits down with Josh Potter who is a cameo foot fetish sex worker and comedian from Buffalo featured on Your Mom's House podcast. He's blind in one eye but that doesn't stop him from seeing the truth in the world. TICKETS AT http://www.andrewsantino.com/ FOLLOW ME ON INSTA https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ FOLLOW WHISKEY GINGER PODCAST ON INSTA https://instagram.com/whiskeygingerpodcast/ FOLLOW JOSH ON INSTA: https://www.instagram.com/josh_potter/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Gingers are pugilist You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the whore Gingers are hell no This whiskey is excellent Ginger, I like gingers Welcome back to Whiskey Ginger My guest today is one of my favorite people on earth I say that for all my guests, but I mean it once again

Today, Mr. Josh Potter, how are you? I'm great, man. Thanks so much for having me, dude. Thanks for coming, dude. Cheers. Cheers. I'm drinking the whiskey. Yes, dude.

We're drinking Eagle Rare today. That's what's in the... What is this fucking thing? What is that called? What is that called? I was going to say carafe, but that's like mimosa talk. No, I think carafe might be right. Interesting.

Otherwise... My dad always had one of those. It's real cool, right? Yeah. I just got it. I think it's called... I think it's called a fucking... What's the wine one called?

A decanter. Yeah. But they call it a decanter for wine, and it aerates. But this is closed top, so it can't be decanter. This doesn't matter whatsoever. This is like fancy-ass madman shit. Mm-hmm. That's what that's for.

Yeah, dude. Yeah, that's the best. This is like fancy-ass Mad Men shit. Mm-hmm. That's what that's for. Yeah, dude. Yeah, that's the best. This indicates this kind of design of glass, and this thing means you... Are happy. You beat women. Oh, okay, yeah. Same thing. Well, they go...

They're interchangeable. Hand in hand, yeah. Did you finish that show? Did you watch that show? Oh, I was obsessed with Mad Men. Yeah. Dude, I loved that show. It's funny.

I like that it ended without an ending. Yeah, you like that it ended without an ending. Yeah, you like that it did kind of left you open a little bit? Yeah. Well, I mean, how could it end, really, though? I mean, it's a simple show in the fact that it's... What could have happened in that show that would have been a perfect bow tie ending? I don't even think that exists in TV. There could not have been one.

Yeah, but everybody gets mad about every show's ending anyway. So many fucking shows, and people are like, fucking dog shit, what a stupid last episode. You're like, tell me how you think it would have ended. Right.

Give me an example. If it's anything outside of their expectations or estimations, they're disappointed. Yeah, they're gonna be bummed. Yeah, they're gonna be bummed. Like, I didn't,

I hated Friends. You know, people loved Friends. And, you know, like, Friends is an, Friends is a show where I don't even know how they could have ended. I don't even know what they did to end it. I forget. I think they all moved away from each other. It was, like, sad. It was super depressing.

Not even happy. Joey died. That was how it ended. Joey does die. He became a heroin addict, from what I recall. Let's do our Friends ending. So, Ross comes out of the closet finally. Isn't this funny?

Like, I've never seen one full episode of that show, but because it's embedded in the zeitgeist of America. It is funny. You just know it. As someone who knows the show, it's funny that you, not seeing it, assume Ross is gay. He seems gay. He's David Schwimmer, right?

Yeah, yeah. But he had, like, the most pussy, I think, throughout, other than Joey, of course. But, I mean, as a guy, I would think he seems like a gay guy. Oh, sure, sure, sure. You know what I mean? So I would say that Ross comes out of the closet. Jennifer Aniston is called, fuck, what's her name?

Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. Yeah, if it was 2019. How about that? Okay, yeah. Rachel goes on a Bernie campaign, becomes like a Bernie campaigner. Oh, no, no, no.

See, your lack of knowledge of the characters. She would be a MAGA woman today. I was going to say it, but I thought that was going to be a cheap joke. Because she was like her parents were rich. Okay. And so she would have been like red-pilled by this guy. Can I tell you something? That was my literal instinct, but I was like, that'll be a cheap throwaway joke. throwaway joke that's stupid no no you were because it would have been i i wouldn't have

considered it cheap i would have considered it on brand all right so so rachel goes maga yeah she's part of anti she she she's killed a member of antifa with her car with her car yeah and uh and she's on the run um courtney cox's name was hold on monica monica right no no that's okay that's okay monica uh the i think the reason this is Monica right no no that's okay that's okay Monica uh the I think the reason this is relevant right now by the way is everyone's talking about friends on the internet for some reason why because it's getting taken off of Netflix good fuck off who cares I couldn't care less um and Monica uh Monica becomes Monica goes on Shark Tank. Monica goes on Shark Tank. This is good.

And sells a, oh, it's got to be something. You know, like the skinny margarita girl. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. It's got to be something along that. This is really on point because you have not seen the show, as you said. Monica was like a chef in the show. Oh, she was?

Yeah. Dude, I'm really good. Yeah, yeah. This is great. Okay. And then Phoebe is... What can I think of the character? What can I think of the actress's name?

The real Lisa Kudrow. Lisa Kudrow, yeah. She's phenomenal. Beautiful. She's so dope. I think she's so fucking funny, dude. So talented and funny. So funny, dude.

Yeah. Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion might be one of the funniest movies I've ever seen in my life. And if I'm not mistaken, she was on another show recently that killed it too, right? What was it called?

Like a Showtime... Dude, I do not know, unfortunately. I'm bad with names of shows. Me too. And if it's on a service I do not have, I'm like Ray Donovan. I don't even know what the fuck that is. You know what I mean? Yeah.

Well, I'm not even going to get into it. I tried that show, and I was like, they make fun of the fact that he gets sexually abused for the first season. Wait, is that on Showtime? That's on Showtime. That's on Showtime. Never mind. I have that.

I don't know why I don't know what it is i have showtime i love some of the shows kidding was fucking kidding's a good show yeah oh my god people tell me people have said to me it's too dark i can't watch it yeah that are like comedians yeah dude but all well comedians are pussies comedians have comedians used i feel like we used to have a bigger, a stronger backbone for fucked up weird shit. And unless you have a sense of humor about it, now like everything

is becoming too much for comics. Really? I feel like I am the opposite. I don't feel like I can feel anything ever again. No, but I've never had feelings. I've never had feelings. It's gonna take like 9-11 times 10 for me to be like, oh my God.

Yeah. You know what I mean? I think that I was, I mean, we're kind of close in age. That like fucked me up, I feel like. I feel like I still have. That's maybe the only thing that did fuck me up in as far as like huge events in America

that I remember that singed into my brain. Like, you know how your parents will tell you where certain huge events happen and they'll tell you exactly where they were. Yeah. I can't do that with almost everything other than nine 11. Well, yeah, I would hope nine 11 you could,

but I mean, but I mean, but I mean, my parents, they remember fucking all sorts of shit. Do you know what I mean? They remember when certain American historical American, I couldn't tell you live during a,

like they, my mom, for instance, will be like, I was, I know where I was when Kennedy got shot. That haven't been alive during a... Like, my mom, for instance, will be like, I know where I was when Kennedy got shot. That's huge. Or when Martin Luther King got shot.

People were getting shot a lot more way back when, I feel like. Nobody's getting shot anymore. Big figures. Yeah, nobody's been assassinated. We got more street murders. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But, like, look at, like, where were you when... Okay. Yeah, that's actually a ridiculous thing to say. No one's getting shot anymore. It's like the Mo shootings. We just put up a graphic of Chicago yesterday.

Everybody's dead. Fucking. Wait, like where were you when Obama got elected into office? I was doing my first ever road gig. Oh shit. So that's really. Election night that year. So that's a perfect coincidence.

Yeah, that is. An important part of your career. You could have picked anything else. Shut up. Because for me, like Obama, the first black president of the United States, huge leap, regardless if you like Obama or not, huge American historical moment. No fucking idea where I was. No idea what I was doing.

But I was doing a shitty bar gig in Rochester, New York. But that meant something to you. Yeah, to me, but it didn't mean anything. Like I wasn't celebrating that Obama got... If anything, I was insulting his election by just being like, well, this isn't a big deal. I'm going to go do this terrible road gig. I need this $16. And Rochester, that was your first gig? Yeah, yeah. So how many years ago did you start doing comedy? I started in 2008. 2008. Okay, good. So you've got mileage under your belt there. I have quite a bit of mileage. I mean, I only moved out here in 2017. So.

Yeah. You started, you started in New York. Buffalo, New York. Well, you knew New York state, I guess. Yeah. It couldn't be further from New York city though, without leaving the state of New York. Right. For people that don't know where Buffalo is, don't worry about it. Every time I get offered, I've been offered to go a bunch of different places in upstate New York.

Yeah. Helium's a great club. You should definitely go. I've heard. But no offense to them. It's tough to go to from here. It's tough to go. It's tough to get to, right?

Like I have to fly into somewhere then fly into somewhere else or fly in and take a car. There's only a few direct flights and they're like at a terrible time. Yeah, and it's like Spirit or I've got a WestJet. Like there's always,

it's always some creepy airline. It's JetBlue, but it's... JetBlue? JetBlue? JetBlue goes there? Yeah, JetBlue goes there, but it's like one flight. They go to Buffalo?

Yeah. Wow, I didn't know that. Their hub is in New York City, so they can... I know, I love JetBlue. Whenever I fly to New York, I fly JetBlue. And if I can finagle Mint,

if anybody knows Mint, that's the lay-down seats. Yeah, you get like a... It's the greatest thing in the fucking world. Capsule. Yes, dude. You're in your own pod. You're an astronaut. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're hurtling through the air, laying down, and they make your little fucking bed for you. It's so pathetic. That's dope.

Yeah, it's really... Wait, they make it for you? Like, before you get in, or like, after you... No, if you're like, ready to lay down, if it's like a if it's like an evening flight or whatever. I don't even know how to picture this for the record. I've never been in what the of what those pods look like. Yeah. Yeah. You know, are you like where you are now?

But then it just goes like. Yeah. Yeah. Well, the back lays down all the way and the legs go up all the way and you've got a leg pod so your legs can rest on a thing. Do you know what's funny is it makes me just feel like we're not using planes efficiently in any other capacity like we could just spread out coach and all have adequate seat okay this is dude dude many a night i've gotten high and tried to redesign a plane because of how much we fucking fly and i

get so annoyed at the at the the just the inconvenience of it all. And every time I'm on it, I'm like, there's no way this is the most efficient design at all. There's no way. There is no way. No way. Because look, planes have been designed the same way inside. Obviously not the exterior and the engines and the computers. But the insides have been the same for fucking 50 fucking years. Nothing's changed.

Okay. You know what has changed? Obesity levels. Through the roof. Through the years. Nothing's changed. Okay. You know what has changed? Obesity levels. Through the roof. Through the roof. We have to make something. In the 50s, there weren't as many 300-pound people. No, and you could smoke, and everyone was skinny.

Mm-hmm. So, dude. By the way, I think we should smoke on planes, though. I do, too. I think we should be able to smoke. I'm going to put a pin in that. You should be able to smoke on planes. Because I don't remember any planes crashing because people were smoking.

No. Yeah. Could be wrong. I have no idea. No, I don't think so. Planes usually crash because a pilot was. No. Yeah. Could be wrong. I have no idea. No, I don't think so. Planes usually crash because a pilot was hung over. Yeah. I feel like that was back then.

Or he was smoking. He was like, shit, shit. Burned himself. Yeah. That's why they got a co-pilot. It used to be just one guy. And then they were like, one guy burns his dick with a cigarette. I think, you know how tour buses, band tour buses have bunk beds that are layered on top

of each other? Yeah. Why couldn't we do that inside we had one on tom's i just was on one like three weeks on tom's bus yeah where i slept in one of those like drawers and i just had i can't sleep in them because i feel like i'm gonna get like cliff burtoned do you know what i mean yeah i hear like the bus hit the rumbles in the night and you're like and you're like you don't know what's going on dude you think you're gonna die in a bus yeah i mean like i feel it's it's. You think you're going to die in a bus. Yeah. I mean, like, I feel, it's not that I think I'm going to die in a bus,

but, like, if the bus did crash, I would die in that little box. Yeah, who cares, dude? I would think it would be dope, but, like, I would just be a blurb, you know. Because it's like Tom Segura's tour bus crashed. He's okay. Someone died. Yeah. You know, like.

Tom Segura's bus crashed. Some other bodies were found. That's what I'd say. Some bodies were found. No, but those little cubbies don't bother me. I think some people have claustrophobia, and they can't be in there. Dude, tuck me in that, bitch. I don't give a fuck.

You could layer a plane with those things, and I would be totally fine. Oh, my God. If I was on a plane of those, I don't think I could do it. Because it'd be just animals all around you. It's like... Oh, you'd be freaked out. I'd be like just animals all around you. It's like... Oh, you'd be freaked out. That's why I couldn't live in New York City because I think of like an apartment building as like a filing

cabinet of human beings. It's like a hive. Just the buzz of that would keep me awake constantly. I'd never be able to sleep. And I just... The idea of it freaks me out. It is a hive. I mean, dude, it is. You're in a creepy you are in a creepy filing cabinet. You know in Japan

they have like, you sleep in literal drawers. You know that, right? That's why I'm so glad we dropped those two nuclear bombs on them because I wish we finished them off. To be honest. You heard it here first. Yeah. Josh Potter loves Japanese people.

Make no mistake, that's what he was actually saying. I'm glad we dropped those fucking... Oh, wait. This is my other correction. I also think it's also slotted bunk beds on the side of the planes. And I also want the fucking carry-on luggage should go in the goddamn floor. There should be push-downs. You could push it down into slots on the floor.

That's where the other luggage is, though. No, no. Yeah, but the other luggage is though. No, no. Yeah, but the belly of the plane is huge. I guess you're right. Yeah, it's huge. There's definitely space for luggage to go down three feet. I say that they should put us like in a, not like cryo. That would be too expensive to like freeze us or whatever.

But just like put a mask on me and knock me out and then put me in one of those drawers until I wake up and I'll be so done with that. don't want to be awake i don't want to read a magazine yeah i do i do that to myself when i get on a plane anyway i just take copious amounts of xanax whatever i can get my hands on really and then i just am like this you get you gonk out every time i could be a do you smoke pot before you fly hell yeah see i used to smoke pot before you fly? Hell yeah. See, I used to smoke pot a few times before I would fly, and it got me in a fun, creative, I'm alive mode. I just want a knockout on a plane, so I have a little bit of daddy's juice, and I'm gone. You got to switch your weed up and get a sleepy weed.

I do, even still, dude. Even with super heavy Indicas, I'm resistant to Indica as far as tiredness goes. Well, I'll say this. I smoke weed before I go to the grocery store. Yes, I mean, like, but I definitely, like, when I was a kid, I used to have a fear of flying, and I would take, like, a bottle of NyQuil to my face every time I'd get on a plane,

and my parents would have to drag me onto the plane. It was, like, a real thing. But then, as I got older, I got into pills a little bit more, and I just did those i love how promotional this is of that i just got into pills no but i mean like now i'll take like uh tylenol pm that's like i've downgraded that's my like well yeah but you know like they say like advil kills more people than fucking any other prescription that's hilarious yeah yeah i do that a lot i do that fucking 7-ele Yeah, it's a gas station drug.

Yeah. But I pop them. They're so convenient to just throw in a couple of them. Do you do PMs or do you do regular jobs? No, I do regulars. I've never taken the Advil PMs. For PM stuff, if I'm sick and I want to knock out, I'll chug some NyQuil. I'm going to clear my throat.

Do it, baby. Yeah, NyQuil is my jam. I fuck some NyQuil. I'm going to clear my throat. Do it, baby. Yeah, NyQuil is my jam. I fuck with NyQuil. I've definitely been Tylenol PM, Advil PM, all the PMs. Yeah, because it all has some narcotic in it. It's got something that knocks you the fuck out. Something, I don't know. I should know. I don't do Z's Quill.

Z's Quill, right. Yeah, yeah. Is that what they call it? That's like NyQuil's fucking heavy shit. I thought it was the other way around because it's like without the like um things that fix your cold oh it's just for sleeping yeah it's just for sleeping that's why they have the z's little but i thought it i thought it was the heavy night i feel like it's not not to make you do as much it doesn't have the medicine

yeah you need the medicine because that fucks you up the combo i think fucks you up better and i feel like it's fortifying. Yeah, it is. Yeah. I love it. But yeah, so I would take that shit to fly. And now I just take like, I was taking Xanax for a little while, but that would just like fuck me up. And then, yeah, I feel like I can't drink before I get on the plane because then I'm

hungover when I get off the plane. Really? Not like hungover, hungover, but I would want to take a nap or get in like more of a nap. Oh, dude. the plane really not like hungover hungover but i would want to take a nap again like more of a nap oh dude see yeah when i have if i have one of these or two at the bar um the moment i get on there i'll start typing stuff on my phone i'll start like writing notes on my ipad and i'm out dude this is goodbye i like drinking and uh but it's not like one of those things where like every other drug i feel like i can forge through and do what I have to do. Despite having them.

Drinking is the one where it's like my day is fucked. You're done for? Yeah. Like if I get drunk, I'm like I'm going to be sleeping or like day drinking. I'll be passed out by like. Well, I don't love day drinking. I've talked about that on the show. I don't like fucking day drinking.

Like people that can drink at like noon and start chugging beers. Not my shit. Not my shit at all. We both don't like fucking day drinking. Like, people that can drink at, like, noon and start chugging beers, not my shit. Not my shit at all. We both come from, like, day drinking cities. Yes, dude. I mean, Chicago, everybody I know back home, day drinking. Like, this weekend, this Memorial Day past weekend, I'm sure everybody I know back home blacked out at noon to 5 p.m.

Do you know what I mean? Dude, Bears game on Thursday. I know. I know. I know. So, I mean, like. I'm nervous. Is it going to be tailgating going? Do you guys tailgate? Like, how I mean? Dude, Bears game on Thursday. I know. I know. I know. So, I mean, like. I'm nervous. Is it going to be tailgating going?

Do you guys tailgate? Like, how does it work for a Bears game? If I was back in Chicago? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I mean. At the stadium, I mean, like, there's tailgates, right?

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. In the parking lot. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, but, yeah, there is. There is.

But, like, Chicago people are such heavy drinkers that they're. I feel like people black out before they show up to the physical stadium anyway. Well, yeah. I mean, especially if it's an 8 p.m. game. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, they're tanked. They're tanked up to their fucking heads. Same in Buffalo.

Well, you guys have a bigger reason to get fucked up. Well, yes. And that's the thing that caused it. But it's always existed. Yeah, it's just a—but Buffalo is a tough place to live. Yeah, and people go to do— I think it's a great place to live personally yeah but i mean like uh tough sure i mean tough in the sense of like uh the weather in buffalo is not

kind ever no it's not but like you don't realize it when you're from there sure you know you're just used to it yeah but when you leave you go fuck that well yeah i came here and i was like why does anyone live anywhere else i couldn couldn't believe it, you know? But we get, like, at a 1 p.m. game, which is most of our games in the last 20 years. Yeah. People are there at 7 a.m. getting faced. Mm-hmm. Throwing each other through flaming tables in the woods.

Awesome. It's great. I love it. And then you go elsewhere and you go to a football game. Like, I went to a Rams game last season and they had their cute little tailgates and stuff. I went to a Bills game at the Chargers stadium like two seasons ago when I first moved.

When they were up here in LA? Yes. And then Nathan Peterman threw five interceptions in the first half. I wanted to kill myself. But I went to like a Bills game tailgate thing and it was cute. There was children there.

I'm like, this is not. Not the same. No, it's not the same. This is not the same. No, no. Yeah, in Chicago, by the way, this episode will have aired after this game has already happened last night. It doesn't matter.

Oh, okay, last night. Yeah, last night would have been the game. Let's just, and wow, what a game it was last night. Oh, my God, and I want to thank everyone who saw me in Seattle last night. God, that's crazy. Everyone came out to see you last night. Oh, my God. I sold so many tickets.

So fucking dope. No, I think the way that LA does sports is so significantly different than any other city because so many people aren't from here. People will support. Like, dude, I go to a lot of sporting events here, and I support the teams, but they're not my team, so it's hard to get wild. I enjoy the Rams. I'll root for them over the Chargers because they're not my team, so it's hard to get wild. I enjoy the Rams. I'll root for them over the Chargers

because they're NFC versus AFC. Those are because Chargers are a tough team to give a fuck about. And the Chargers are like, fuck you. It's like, you came here from San Diego. That was kind of bullshit. We didn't like you then. Now you're in that soccer arena. Soccer field, yeah, it's a soccer field.

12,000 people and you can't even sell that out? Dude, I went there. Travis Kelsey got us tickets to go watch him and the Chiefs play against them great episode by the way thank you and dude he's the best

and he hooked it up and I think I've talked about it on here but it's still to this day singed in my brain we walked into that stadium me and the fucking lady walk into the stadium

and no shit it is all red there was almost no Charger fans there every game was an away game it's fucking sad, dude. That's their home stadium. And then the fact that it's so small,

it's like, how can you have any pride walking in here and just like playing? It's like you're in high school. Yeah, dude. All these dudes played in colleges with way bigger. Well, of course, college stadiums are fucking massive. Yeah, exactly. Most of those dudes played to like 75,000 people.

I should have said high school. Their high schools were probably bigger than this sure for sure because because uh you know so many of these so many of these college stadiums if you've never known a college fucking football stadium god damn you got bigger than nfl they're way bigger and they're fucking beautiful like nfl is almost the way that they design stadiums other other than fucking Jerry Jones, but most other stadiums, it's like for multi-purposed, multi-functionality. They design these things because- For Taylor Swift to come. 100%.

That's why the city did it, right? So that's why most of these stadiums are fucking bullshit. You go to, you're like, this isn't even cool. This isn't cool at all. It doesn't even feel like it's their field, except for the fucking Cowboys. I love Ralph Wilson Stadium, which is now, I don't know, New Era Field, I guess. New Era, yeah, that's right. But it's so old,

it's like a college stadium basically still. And it's like, that's what people say they feel like. It's kind of that and Arrowhead are the only ones left, the only holdovers from like the 70s. And now... And?

And Soldier Field, obviously. No. Oh, I'm sorry. There's one more. Don't tell me it yet. There's one more. From the 70s? Oh, yeah, dude.

They haven't done shit to it. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Don't tell me it yet. There's one more. From the 70s? Oh, yeah, dude. They haven't done shit to it. Hold on, hold on, hold on. They... Let me do it. Let me... Not them, not them. I'm going to figure this fucking thing out. Yeah, you will.

You tell a story. Well, how about I tell you a story about the stadium and it'll click right away? I don't want to know... I want to be able to know this. It was the last remaining stadium that still flipped football to baseball. Oh, the Oakland stadium. That's right. Yeah, yeah.

Oakland College. They call it... Is it the overstock.com field or some bullshit? I don't remember because the A's play there as well. That's exactly right. And do you know that there's a rivalry between the A's and the Golden State Warriors, actually, not the Raiders, but- Well, they play in the same parking lot. They share that parking lot. Yeah, yeah.

And when, apparently, when the A's were better than the, because Golden State was dog shit like, whatever. Forever. 15 years ago. Yeah. And so the A's would be like, come hang out with us at our place. You have a suite, blah, blah, blah. Then when the Warriors got good, they were like, you can't even park in this parking

lot, A's. You have batting, you have rehab you got to do. I don't care. Uber in. Uber in. Yeah, yeah. Uber to work, bitch. Yeah, yeah.

That's so fucking funny if you've never been to that stadium stadiums uh well they're building the warriors a brand new stadium right well they're going that's why they're all excited they're like fuck the war it's the a's are like they're going to the east bay or some i think they're going to go to san francisco right or something maybe yeah i don't know where the stadium is going to be located my buddies my a few friends that are from up there they would know that place might as well be Mars to me. What, San Francisco? North California.

California? Yeah, Northern California. Yeah. It's actually fucking beautiful. It's wonderful up there. It is, but every time I go there, I feel like I'm in like a Star Wars city.

You are in a different world. It's a different, it's very, well, it's so much not like us. They hate us. They fucking hate us. Northern California.

They hate LA? They hate Southern California. They don't like anything about it. Everybody up there is, they can't stand us, and we don't care. That's our relationship. Nobody down here gives a fuck that they don't like us,

and they are adamant about thinking that we're assholes. They think we're assholes. Yeah. We think they're pretentious cunts, and they think we're... It's so weird, because it's the same state.

It's not at all, though. Well, it can't be, not at all though that well here you go i'll give you a comparison coast yeah i'll give you a comparison it's like north carolina being with jersey exactly that's exactly right it's it's essentially it'd be essentially like myrtle beach south carolina and fucking boston yeah it is so the humans are completely have so opposite of one another. So we're the same way. I mean, granted, it's just culturally Californians have a similar sensibility up the coast, I guess you could say. That's the only thing that connects San Francisco to L.A. is like a very liberal leftist, even though they're way more than us. Yeah.

But what was Buffalo? Was Buffalo a pretty conservative place? Well, the city of Buffalo is very artsy and liberal, and then the surrounding suburbs are all red. Hardcore, yeah. Yeah, hardcore red. I actually almost got canceled by conservatives on the radio, because I did morning radio throughout my 20s the whole time I was there.

But what did you say? Well, when Trump got elected, of course I was doing anti-Trump things I thought was what everyone was on board. Turns out no one was. And I got like tried. There were companies that wanted to like get me fired and stuff like. Really? Like local like car dealerships and shit.

Like, you know what I mean? Like I had to get this. I had a head shop in town that was sponsored, sponsored my show who like didn't like my Facebook jokes about Trump. A place that sells paraphernalia to smoke marijuana didn't like your anti-Trump jokes? Yeah, yeah. In a place where weed isn't legal, by the way. It's just like, this is supposed to be for tobacco use.

Well, then that's how you know it was run by conservatives. Yeah, I guess that's true. It's in a fucking place. But they knew what they were selling. I think that's so funny. This is a water pipe. No, dude, it's a bong. It they knew what they were selling. I think that's so funny. This is a water pipe. No, dude, it's a bong. It's a water pipe for tobacco. No, dude, it's for pot.

No. No one's ever smoked tobacco. Don't ever say that to them. Yeah, I know. Because they will be like, you can't buy it now. Well, dude, back when California was only medicinal, I had my card

for years and years and years. And you legally had to say flower when you... Like, they couldn't say... That means weed. Yeah, when you would say pot or weed like they they couldn't say that means weed yeah when you when you would say pot or weed they were like it's medicine or flower or they it's skirting around nonsense dude it means fucking nothing it's all semantics that's why i stick with real drug dealers that's right dude i just say i want some smack give me some smack bitch i want that baggie do you so now you you we talked before you came over about you going to the pot shop.

Do you? Well, there's a pot shop on my house that's not really on the up and up. That's why I like it. It's on the way out? Well, I'm scared that it's gone because this weekend I went there twice and it was closed. Yeah. And they recently moved across the street. It's holiday hours.

But they're called like a church. So they get it through that, you know, where you sign like a little thing that's like, this is my religion. So like, there's no taxes on it. Is it a Rastafarian church? Is that what it is? That's the way that they mock it up.

Dude, that's great. Yeah, yeah. So they don't pay taxes. So it's like, you know, you can get an eighth for like 20 bucks. What's it called, the place? It's called 420 Commandments. Follow them on Instagram

and tell them I sent you maybe i'll like get something 420 commandments is so fun imagine filing that with the fucking city and they're like no no it's a church and they're like but i'm scared it's gone because it's probably gone i went on saturday and they were locked up they're usually open till 2 a.m and i walked home from a show i did in north hollywood or in uh in regular hollywood and i jiggled the door and it was locked locked. And I was like, fuck, well, maybe because it's Saturday. You know, I'm like, I looked, it was like midnight. And I'm like, maybe they'll be here on Monday. So I went there again today before I came over here

in the daytime. Yeah. Locked. Nothing. So I'm scared. Last time it was locked, there was a guy, they like hired a homeless guy to sit in a chair outside the door

and just tell people it's over there. That's so dumb. We're not here anymore we're over there also could i look for the place i'm like yeah he's like it's over there now they gave him money to do that that's great i asked him i go is that is that what you're doing here you're sitting out here to tell people that he's like yeah they pay me you know i sit here anyway and i was like okay cool that's so cool. They're creating work. See? Marijuana is creating jobs. How dare the state of California shut them down if that's what happened? Yeah, fuck that. State of California can suck a dick if they shut that down.

All the old stores that I used to go to when I had my medicinal card, they're all gone. All of them. They either got bought out by like Med Men or these big dogs. I hate these fucking corporate ones. Well, the big dogs. They're taking down everybody. Like all the old, there used to be a place that had a comedy show on Melrose, and you could smoke in it.

They had the license to smoke inside. That's dope. There's going to be more of that, though, where you can smoke inside. That's becoming a new thing, but, dude, the license is hard to get. So this place used to have it for the medicinal licenses years ago, and they used to have comedy shows there, and you could sit and get um and watch shows and all that stuff and it was for patients it was actually surprising how many like patients that needed marijuana would go to these shows that were like there because of actual medical purposes like ptsd people a lot of people that were disabled

there was a lot of disabled people there was a lot of fucking That's interesting They would come watch the show Cancer patients Yeah So it was like a club It was a club That's cool Yeah it was a club And now it's something else

Now it's I don't even know I don't know what the fuck it is anymore It's not When I see it now I don't often go down there But whenever I drive by it I'm like well that's not the old place

It doesn't look anything like it Because it's been bought out by You know I don't know Some fucking dude I wish there were more like weed shows Weed shows would be cool Yeah Weed shows would be cool. Yeah, weed shows would be cool because there's bar shows.

When I could go to Canada, I went to one show in Toronto where you can smoke inside. Yeah. And like weed crowds, they're kind of just like, ah. They're subdued. Yeah, yeah. That is a problem. Yeah. That's why fucking clubs like alcohol because it invigorates people to kind of be more active.

But unfortunately. A little too active. Yeah, too active. That's the balance, right? We got to find something in between. Pills. Coke. fucking clubs like alcohol because it invigorates people to kind of be more active, but unfortunately... A little too active. Yeah, too active. That's the balance, right? We've got to find something in between. Pills.

Coke. Pills. Coke would suck probably. Yeah, but Coke is they'll want to talk. Yeah. It's got to be some kind of pill.

We've got to give them a pill where they get kind of fucked up but kind of in a perfect mood to just chill and be quiet and pay attention. I wanted to say lithium, but that doesn't work. We give a crowd lithium.

Dude, I would love to give a crowd lithium. They would not be work. We give a crowd lithium. Dude, I would love to give a crowd lithium. They would not be... Have you done many, many drugs? Yes. Well, like that kind of things. Like how about... Here and there, but not like to an addiction level where I was like constantly...

No. Only because I can't apprehend them so frequently. I probably would have. If you could get them more? Yeah. What about like... What about ketamine? I've not done ketamine.

Is that the, wait, what do they call it, special K? Yeah. No, I haven't. I've wanted, I've sought that out. If anybody has special K, can you please send it to Josh? I remember a kid in high school talking about it, and I go like, that sounds cool. Yeah, you slip into what's called a K-hole, which is where you kind of disappear into a little, a little center of your, of your mind's eye. And you kind of look like you're zombied out a little bit. I knew a bunch of guys in high

school that love that shit. You know what I was thinking at first, what you said was Klonopin. I've done that one. Klonopin is a muscle, muscle relaxer, right? Yeah. Klonopin is kind of easier to get like Norco's muscle relaxers. Yeah. People love shit like that. Youcos muscle relaxers yes yeah people love shit like that uh-huh you love muscle relaxers i mean all that stuff i was really into and uh because i had a lot of eye surgeries and i took a lot of percocets so then i was like how many eye surgeries did you have i've had six total in my holy shit yeah four in one summer and what do they do what do they do uh they go in you it's like real surgery they knock you out, and then they cut your eye open. Well, they don't cut your eye open. They peel a layer, right?

They do something where it's like on this particular surgery, they had to put a suture around my eye. So I don't know how they got that shit in there. They must have opened my lids and shit. I like how you say you don't know. Of course, you're not a fucking surgeon. Yeah, exactly. I have no idea.

I feel like when people have surgery, they know so much about it, and I'm not that guy. say you don't know of course you're not a fucking surgeon yeah exactly no idea i mean so i i feel like when people have surgery they know so much about it and i'm not that guy and i had six of these motherfuckers six yeah yeah how consecutive uh one was in my first one was when i was in seventh grade and then my second one was in 11th grade and then i had four in one summer when i was a sophomore in college worst summer of your life yeah so it's like over a decade i think four in one fucking summer it was the worst summer of my life yeah it made me i dropped out of school the second i got back in it because it was like i didn't even have a summer so why did you have to have so many surgeries because they kept fucking

it up sorry to laugh but that's insane this That's insane. This doctor. They kept fucking up? Well, it was like it didn't take. You know what I'm saying? So they didn't fuck up. So this one doctor I had in Buffalo at a specialty center, he went in, fucked up. Not fucked up, but he goes, it didn't work. And then so I have to do it again. So two weeks later, I'm in it again.

Damn. And then that one didn't work. And then he goes, I'm going to try one more time. And he did. And that one didn't work and then he goes i can try i'm gonna try one more time he did and that one didn't work so then he goes i can't responsibly try again yeah he sent me to a cleveland clinic where they had like a specialist in ohio yeah and then he did it and it worked out fine should have just gone to ohio it didn't work out fine i'm still blind in my eye but like at that point it was just to save my eyeball. What was the initial surgery for?

I had detached retinas all. But I mean, but the first one, but, but all of them are for the same thing. Both eyes. But I've heard that before, but I've heard that like a lot of people get it fixed,

like get it fixed. Yeah. And it works. But like what you're saying, a lot of times it doesn't hold. Well, what happened with me is there's a disease where it's degenerative. Yeah.

So the first one, I was in seventh grade, sixth, seventh grade, whatever, and it was a clean split, so the guy fixed it. He was like a savant. He made it. It's working perfectly. It's my only functioning eye right now. Your left eye, yeah. Then it happened in this eye in 11th grade, and that doctor was worse, I guess,

because I didn't get all of my vision back. It was like spider webs inside of it. And again, there was another tear then, five years later or something like that. Oh, shit. So then this doctor went in and tried to deal with what the other doctor did. And he kept like, it didn't work three times.

Have you ever, has, I'm trying to learn how to ask this the right way. Yeah. How did you communicate that you, that it, that you knew when it happened? Like, do you feel it? Because you can't see, dude. You can't feel shit.

It's just, you just go blind. You, you get like a curtain ascending across your face throughout a day. God. Like, the first time it happened, I didn't realize it till like, like it, I woke up in the morning and it was like, there's something weird going on. But I thought I got like soap in my eye from the shower before I went to school.

And then like throughout school, I'm like, something's up. You know what I mean? And I was like, something's really wrong. I went to the nurse and she was like,

I'm a school nurse. You know what I mean? Like, she's like, I don't know what to tell you. I make six grand a year. Like, I don't know what's wrong

with your fucking eye. I'm barely allowed to put a bandaid on it. I killed three kids with Advil last week. That's like, I don't know what to tell you. I make six grand a year. Like, I don't know what's wrong with your fucking eye. I'm barely allowed to put a Band-Aid on it. I killed three kids with Advil last week. That's interesting. But then I called my mom. Like, it was like eighth period or something. I called my mom at the end of the day on a pay phone. And I was like, I cannot see. She called my eye doctor, and I went into him.

And he was like, you're going to need surgery, like, immediately. Fuck. Yeah. Fuck. That's crazy. It's like something that happens to old people very often. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've heard it. doctor and i went into him and he was like you're gonna need surgery like immediately fuck yeah fuck that's like something that happens to old people very often yeah yeah i've heard it but i was in seventh grade so it's like i was the doctor even filmed me for uh research in here we pour whiskey this episode of whiskey ginger is brought to you by hello fresh look man i hate going to the grocery store i'm being dead serious about it it's one of my biggest pet peeves. I don't like walking around aimlessly, not knowing what goes into these dishes because I'm stupid. I'm not good at cooking. HelloFresh makes it easy, delicious meals at home, step-by-step, pre-measured ingredients

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I like gingers. Really? Yeah, like I'm in some... You're like, do I need to be naked? He's like, it's just part of the video. Why is my penis in the video? My eyes appear. He's jerking you off and he's like,

this is for your eyes. We want to make sure your vision is good. It's considered your third eye. It's the worst doctor of all time. We're going to make this one see. I do like this doctor because I've talked about it on this podcast that I get I used to get

very often ocular migraines, which is where you kind of go blind in one eye. Because your migraines cause that sensation. It's a trigger. It's a preemptive migraine. It shows you what's happening. Dude, and for sure, I thought I was going blind. And everyone that ever fucking listened to that episode

writes in and they're like, dude, I felt the same thing. Because you do, dude. For a day, I was like, it wasn't even a thought. It was just if I knew, I was like, I'm going blind. I'm going blind. With this, there is no pain. So this is unbelievable pain afterwards.

That's crazy. It's as if like, you ever been in a fist fight? You ever get punched in the head? I've been in one a long time. So anybody that's ever been in a fist fight, if I ever could explain it to you, the next day after a fist fight, your body vibrates a long time. So anybody that's ever been in a fist fight, if I ever could explain it to you, the next day after a fist fight, your body vibrates a little bit.

Like your head vibrates. It's not like a drunk hangover. How many punches are we talking about taking here? A few. I don't even know. Every time I've ever been in a fight. Do you get them all in your face? No.

No. Because a lot of times nothing is... The problem with fist fighting from an amateur, trash, drunk dude... A bar. Yeah. Is no one is accurate. So when you see a great fight on TV, the difference... You know what? This is the biggest difference. When assholes watch UFC and they're like, come on, man.

It's like, dude, if that was you, you would land zero of those fucking punches. You fucking moron. So when people are drunk fighting young assholesholes most of the time you're clipping people you're catching chins or you catch part you catch a part of a face or you catch a chest or

yeah you catch you catch a lot of parts of body clean shots are really hard unless you're a sucker punch and then you're a piece of shit sucker punching is for bitches yeah for sure

it's like square up motherfucker but the day after a bad fight you just you vibrate a little. Like, you feel kind of like it's like, almost like, you know, this, I'm going to do an alien noise. Like after you have sex?

Yeah. No, no, that's a good thing. Oh, okay. Do you feel like you've been punched after you've fought? This isn't good? Yeah. After you get punched, you don't feel good? It's kind of like, listen to this sound.

Yeah, okay. That's how your body and brain sound. Yeah, okay. That's how your body and brain feel. It's insane. It's like this, like, movement. It's almost like when you're tripping on a drug, you know how you feel like the earth kind of like having a heartbeat or a breath? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's how your body feels.

It's unfortunate as fuck. And so when you get ocular migraines, the headaches are absurd. Dude, they're absurd. I've had migraines but not i don't think they're ocular unless maybe no because i'm blind in my right eye so like you could have got it and not know i've definitely had the pain of a migraine where it's like i have to turn off all the lights or i feel nauseous yeah you'll throw i throw i've thrown up yeah yeah it was oh it's overwhelming it kind of feels yeah it feels like yeah, you feel like temporarily sick, but not like I have the flu.

More like I could, I want to, I'm angry at everything and I've got to disappear. Otherwise, I'm going to be so much more mad. Ooh, it sucks. Irritates, yes. Small stuff. Yes. And I feel like that's in me to a level for, in many ways. Just naturally?

Just naturally. Yeah. Like where I'm just like, I like silence and stuff like that. But man, yeah, those ocular, I've definitely, I've not had like, I don't know, like again, I don't know if I have the same type of migraine, but I definitely suffer from migraines. And it's that feeling for sure. It's that same kind of like super pain. So you're, I'm so curious, six surgeries later, are you ever going to need another surgery

ever again or no? I mean, fuck, I hope not. But I don't know, you know. It could happen. If it happened again in this eye, I'm probably fucked. You know what I mean? Then it's like dogged. Then it's like, you know, if I go blind, you know, I'll tell you this, me and you.

Yeah. It's heroin time for Josh. Really? Hell. Hell yes. If you go blind, you're on fucking. That's when I'm like. You're on the horse.

Inject me, dude. Yeah. Because like if I die, I die. And on fucking. That's when I'm like. You're on the horse. Inject me, dude. Yeah. Because like if I die, I die. And if I don't, then I'm just going to do heroin tomorrow. This is like the opposite of a 30 for 30 where like people are like, I needed to push through it. I needed to grow. I needed to change.

I wanted to beat this thing. You're like, give me the fucking horse. Dude, because I always said too, like if I get to a point where like I lose my facilities when I'm old, you know, then I'm going to do heroin for sure. Because I want to do it. Like what? If you can't walk? Like if you can't wipe your own ass.

Sure. Or you can't shit at all. You wipe your own ass? I mean, I'm not as wealthy as you. That's one reason to get married. You're much more successful than me. I hope that I can ascend to a level where I don't have to wipe my ass. Somebody's wiping your asshole.

Oh, your wife does? I thought you had people. She is the people. Oh. She's the person. Like, that's how we fell in love, actually. I hired her to wipe my ass, and then we fell in love. Said, do you take this man, and will you wipe his ass?

I do. That is in there. Yeah. You know? Yeah. Don't forget. That's what happens, though. Like, you're going to age with your wife, and eventually one of you is going to lose your facility.

Or die. Or die, yeah. If I get close to like, oh, this is really dark. What happens to people that are alone, by the way? Let's get real dark. I would love that. Let's get real dark. I feel like for people that get older and get lonely, and they don't have anybody, and they can't live in a home or whatever.

Yeah, what happens to those people? I feel like we should give them government-assisted, drug-induced overdose suicide. Heroin, right? Yeah. That's why I'm going to take it upon myself to do that. But heroin sounds too simple. I mean, give you one pill cocktail that's like, you're going to fucking be in space. You're going to disappear.

You're going to be so- But that's the end for them? Yeah, that's it. No, see, I like the heroin because I can overcome it and maybe do it again the next day. But the chances are low considering someone like you, the way you're talking. I bet you're going to do a massive dose the first time you do it. I would like to. Yeah, you'll probably do it.

It depends how much money we have at that point. That's what I'm saying. You'll probably spend everything that you have. I mean, no, I wouldn't do that because I would be like, I want to do heroin and I want to enjoy it. So I want to like wake up the next day and go like, man, that was, what was I waiting for? You know?

I should do it all the time. Yeah. Yeah. And then I'm like, well, I'm 80 and I can't wipe my own ass. So like, let's, that's the second one is probably the big one. You're like, if I'm going to shit myself anyway, might as well be on the horse. Well, you don't really shit when you have heroin. Oh, that's right. It clogs

you up. Opioids clog you up. Yeah, so especially if I can't wipe my own ass. This is a great thing. This is a solution for everybody out there. If you have a tough time with too many bowel movements and watery shits, go ahead and try some heroin. Any kind of opioids. This is really sad to joke about

because half of the country is dying from opioid addiction i know and it's all the wrong people it's like why isn't why aren't the people who are terminally ill doing it like let's find the good in opioids right and and weaponize it for our own good use them for our pot for positive yeah meanwhile your your part of the country is it has the biggest opioid epidemic in the world the northeast is like is very and everywhere in the north Northeast. I know a lot of people who passed away from it, and it's so sad. Really? It's worse for their families.

Yeah, it's way worse. Pennsylvania I know is a big problem. Boston, Massachusetts, that's a big problem. Literally everywhere. If you're not... Unless it's an impoverished part of... Because it doesn't come into the impoverished parts of the world. That's like meth.

Yeah, it's got to be... And they're trying to ascend out of it, so they're like methed out. They think it's going to help them. I don't know. It's so interesting to me. But it's usually the people that are... Because Buffalo has a lot of very wealthy suburbs.

It does. And it's a very white-collar epidemic. What does the money come from up there? What's the industry? Like, uh, well right now we have a very large medical corridor. Okay. And there are things springing up from that, but there's a lot of old money too. Like there is anywhere else. It's pretty much just, you know, doctors, lawyers, that kind of thing. Old money. Just like that exists anywhere else. But I'm saying like, well, like I'm saying like in Chicago, like the suburbs of Chicago has a lot of money because McDonald's headquarters is there and all state headquarters. Like whenever you go to these places that have like ridiculous massive corporations, you always find tricklings of tons and tons and tons of money.

And people whose children have that money now and they are bored and they love drugs. That's, that's how that starts. It's like, that's how that chain goes. I feel like it's like a lack of identity. Yeah. There's nothing out there. Like it's just a sad kind of like, what am I? My dad is this. Yeah. And how do I become something? I think about that all the time like what if i have a kid i want to push that's so funny i want to push so hard you know what i mean like oh my poor kid he's gonna have to live in my shadow he will that little fucking loser no i know that's great it's funny to think you should think like if i have a kid if i have a kid i i'm not even that

successful but you, you are. No, no, but on the scale of the world, I'm... Yes, yes. But I'm just saying like... That's what I meant to say. But I'm saying, I hope to God he wants to do or she wants to do anything but this thing. Like you were a main character in a long, like a TV show. On a TV show.

Yeah, that's... How many... What percentage of the world? Of the world? Yeah, that's weird. How many, what percentage of the world? Of the world? Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Oh my God, probably like, I don't know, like a tenth of a percent

of the world. Yeah, so like regardless of anything else, your kid is going to be like, my dad was that. Yeah. So like, what does he do?

But in this town, it means nothing. I guess that's true. But if I took him somewhere else. I'm very foreign to here, so I don't know that. Dude, same thing though. In Chicago, if, it's like if I took my kid back to Chicago and I raised him there and they

were like, my dad used to do TV shows. They'd be like, whoa. But out here, you're like, my dad used to do TV shows and everyone's like, everybody's dad does TV shows. That's what everybody's dad. This whole block is like. That's true, yeah. But that, right, that is a regional thing.

It's a weird regional thing that like, but I'm just saying like, I think about like from a kid's perspective of like, I think about that all the time in this town when I meet people's kids and they're getting into the business. I'm always like, fuck, that's so weird because there's this, what daddy did versus what I want to do. There's always going to be a competitive thing.

Do you know what I mean? Like, I think it's so weird when the kid is so much more successful than the dad. That's even creepier. Like Miley Cyrus? I mean, well, except for the Lil Nas X song, my friend. That's true. He did. You know what? Billy Ray, I forgive.

I'm sorry, Billy Ray, that I even just insulted you like that. Because Achy Breaky Heart in 1994 was like a banger. And then in 2019 he just put like one of the most successful songs with Lil Nas X. Of all time. Of all time. It topped the Billboard charts for like 20 weeks. I hate that I even said that.

But don't you think Miley Cyrus has a longer- No, no. She's way bigger. She has like a longer burn. Make no mistake. She's way bigger than him. I mean like- He's picked and choosed some brilliant moments.

He has actually. Yeah. He's done a really fucking some brilliant moments. He has actually. Yeah. He's done a really fucking good job. She is significantly more famous. In fact there's a slew of people who

are so much more successful than their parents because it's kind of like there's this shitty theory like in golf. It's like when you miss a putt if you

set it up again you almost always make it the second time because it's like you figured out all the bullshit. You're like oh I've already I get if that was my first try ever.

So you see the path. Yeah I see the line. I can do – if that was my first try ever. So you see the path. Yeah, I see the line. I can do it again. That's so easy. That's kind of how it is when a kid can do it. It's like, well, you have such a head start. It's ridiculous. Miley jumped into the game.

The shitty part about that analogy is like imagine if the golf balls were shaped differently though. Okay. That's true. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Because like it's like that with comedy. People like pick and choose a path that someone took. Yeah. But they're not the same golf balls. That's true. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Because it's like that with comedy. People pick and choose a path that someone took, but they're not the same golf balls. That's right.

Well, that's foolish. That is foolish when you try to do the same. Well, because the golfer is different. The ball is always the same, but the golfer is different. Right, right, right. But in this case, in terms of show business, I feel like the golf ball is even different. Yeah, the golf ball is significantly different, although a lot of people take the same path, and it does work out sometimes.

That's true. I will say. Sometimes it does. But then sometimes, also, how about this? Sometimes people sink a putt. We're going on the golf metaphors. That's cool. Sometimes people sink a putt, and they're garbage at golf.

Dude, I know. Because they saw the line. Or flukes happen. How about this? I've been playing golf for years. I've never had a hole in one. I know someone that has two, and he's dog shit at golf. It's like...

That happens in the business, too. See, that would be me. That would be me. You would just get a hole-in-one. Because I... You're fucking blind in one eye. You don't golf. I'll say it this way.

Yeah. I don't think I'm that way in comedy. I think in comedy, I'm the scratch guy who has no hole-in-ones. Do you know what I'm saying? You're just a good golfer who... Who's serviceable, who's always going to. Do you know what I'm saying? You're just a good golfer who... Serviceable, who's always going to provide. You know what I'm saying? I'm always going to be at a certain level, consistent.

When it comes to dating and relationships and stuff, I'm the hole-in-one man. I'm the guy that sucks. This metaphor is perfect, by the way. Hole-in-one for a dating guy. But I hit three hole-in-ones, and everyone's like, hey, is that some hole-in-ones? Yeah, it's fucking pretty good.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I know Tom and Christina were fishing hard for you to get some fan pussy. Yeah, no, I mean, that was like something that I didn't expect by joining the podcast. And like it's – my social life has ascended. When I first moved to L. LA, I had no social life. I didn't have any friends. Nobody has any friends in LA. Yeah, yeah.

So I mean- I still don't have any friends. When did you move to LA, by the way? I've been here since 2000. Fucking- How old were you, though? I moved here when I was 22. 21?

22. I'm jealous of that. I wish- Because that's when I like- I didn't- I mean, I was in Buffalo. I was working in morning radio from like 17 until 30, basically. But again, look what we're talking about.

Different golf balls, man. Different golf balls, yeah. Like, because I got to tell you, I moved out here so poor, you know. I moved out here very poor as well. Yeah, I know. And I didn't have a, Tom, I'll tell you this. But you had a big, but you were more ready. Do you know what I'm saying?

Oh, I was seasoned. So, yeah. I definitely had done a lot of comedy. I moved out here poor and inexperienced. You learned how to do comedy in LA. I started stand-up here, yeah. That's wild. Yeah, this is where I wanted to start. That's amazing. There's a handful of us that have started out here.

That's hard. I think Tom started out here, didn't he? Yeah, yeah. I mean, I'm fascinated by all of your stories that started out here because I started in a place where we had one mic a week for four years. But see, that's why it's beautiful. You saw that you were better than other micers, so you sought opportunity.

I wasn't during that mic, I'll tell you what. At some point, I got eventually, after the four years of that one mic existing, a club opened up in 2012. What was it called? Helium. Oh, Helium opened up there. Yeah, that's right. Before that, we didn't have a club opened up in 2012 what was it called helium oh helium opened up there yeah that's right before that we didn't have a club within an hour yeah right what would be the closest there was i would go to juniors last laugh yeah do guest sets where i'd go to rochester rochester right the

carlson comedy club or whatever uh it's it used to be just called the Comedy Club. Did you ever go to Canada for spots? Yeah, but until I was not allowed there anymore. One year into comedy, I was not allowed in Canada. Why? Because I got a DWR. Oh. Cool. Yeah, in 2009. Sorry, everyone. You can't cross the border. You can't, dude. You can't

for 10 years, and then they grandfathered the law. I was going to do in August a run with Tom in Canada canada yeah and he's like can you do this and i go no and he goes we'll just figure it out and then like you'll make enough money to pay for the figuring it out so i tried yeah and the process is way too arduous it by the time he notified me of my possibility of going there and it happening, I couldn't make it happen

because the process is so arduous. So there's one country in this world I cannot go to. Canada. Yeah. Dude, this is going to be crazy. I think I've talked about it before, but I used to do that for a living

when I first moved to LA. What's that? DWI? No. Yeah, yeah. I used to drive drunk for a living. I still moved to LA. I used to work. DWI? No. Yeah, yeah. I used to drive drunk for a living. I still do that. No. I used to work

with a Canadian attorney to get bands. I worked for a music company to get bands into Canada. Lifted for the tours. Yeah, to get them in. Because I know tons of football players have DWIs. Yep, yep, yep. And they all play because... Any criminal record, by the way. If you're a United States citizen and you have any criminal record at all, you have to file

for a temporary residence permit a TRP and truthfully all it is I just did all this I should have called you now you know

all you really need is to go to a Canadian attorney and look at me look at me right now I've got the guy dude I I can fucking get you into Canada

I wish I called you because I would have well who would know so much more money right now people don't even know people don't even know I used to do that it was it was my first date it was my day job it would have saved my life yeah next time uh i got you for sure no i mean i mean

i even remember the canadian attorney i don't want to call his name out but like i worked with this guy we could get dude i got ridiculous though considering canada is the land of beer and that i lived in buffalo and by the way they they all drink and drive. Yeah. All of them up there. Oh, my God. In Buffalo, you live in Canada, essentially. Yep. Dude, my first drinking experiences were in Canada. Of course.

Because you can go, the whole game is 19, 19. Oh, 19, 19. But that's the game. Canada's 10 minutes away. So we would go get drunk at 19. I've come over the border back into america destroyed right at 19 a million times and uh they started it by the way that's how that's what you want to say it's like drunk off their beer it's your fault it's your fucking fault that blue is what i drink you know but

regardless you know anyhow but the fact is like i could see canada from my house i don't think people know in america that they're banned from Canada when they get a DWI. Most people don't. In fact, they get to the border, and here's what happens a lot. They have to pay an extreme amount of money to go through. So Canadian government is— You can just pay? You can pay.

What's the extreme amount of money? It ranges depending on the crimes, right? Like, I had to get Flava flav in to canada flava flav has a record the size of a fucking highway of course i mean it's dude dude marshawn lynch got to play a game in toronto once a year when he was on the bills for three seasons he had like a gun charge yep oh no flava flav but flav had been arrested for a million things. And we got him in because you pay for the TRP to clear

them because these charges get exonerated or the charges get you know, what is that called? Like a statute of limitations. Expunged. Expunged. We get a lot of crimes expunged. Yeah. So we would have to fight. So I would get these guys fed records. I get their FBI records.

I apply to the Fed, federal, to the FBI to get their records back. And you would see how many of these actually aren't on the Fed, federal record.

But if they show up on a regular, when you get there, if they run your report, it'll show everything you've done. It won't show what the end result is. Everything you've done.

Right. They show everything, dude. Everything. They don't show what the settled. No that's why that's how they make their money so they decide it's it's an ambiguous number it's like they they decide it's this fucking mafia it is mob dude it is that's why i hate your country and i wish instead of the japanese we dropped two nukes on canada what parts though it's a a big country, dude. I'm going to not say Toronto because I spent a lot of time there.

So you like Toronto? I like Toronto. What about Vancouver, the West Coast? I say drop that nuke on them. Remember when they lost the Stanley Cup and they rioted? They were like little bitches. They did, dude.

They were such bitches. So drop it on Vancouver. And you can throw one up in the Yukon Territory. Who cares? Just huck it up top? Let the winds take it down below? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You kill more animals yeah you kill more animals than you kill people you kill some indigenous people or whatever kill some of the pipeliners dude fuck it some of the frackers this is all josh by the way no i don't want to bomb any canada i'll take it on canada i hate you and i wish we dropped the nukes on you i'm gonna be there in two weeks at just for laughs 42 in toronto I will never be there until Andrew fixes mine. I'm going to fix it. Dude, I'm going to fix it. How about this?

How about this? I want everybody to comment and say how many people want Josh to get up to Canada and then we'll make it done. We'll make it a thing. I really do. When I say all these disingenuous things about Canada, I don't mean them.

I just hate that their government won't let me in them because I spend so... Dude, Clifton Hill. I spend so much time on Clifton Hill. So you actually love Canada? things about canada i don't mean them i just hate that their government won't let me in them because i spend so dude clifton hill i spend so much time on clifton hill so you actually love canada this is like i hate you dad but i'm in love with you exactly like my dad won't pay attention to me and so i'm gonna be like fuck you fuck you dad nuclear bombs fell on you like every normal kid yeah yeah so but here's the thing like i love canada i uh drank beer in you when i was 19 inside of you inside of you and so many people when tom went to canada were like messaging me like are you coming are you coming because he had teased it on the podcast oh and

it never happened because of the we didn't think the legalities would be so extensive. Yeah, man. It's also kind of like we used to deal with Japan. In Japan, you have to get your lyrics pre-approved for musicians. So if you sing certain songs that are popularized that they know... Well, that's the country we did drop the nukes on. Oh, we did? Okay, so they're paying us back.

You can't even see a dick go on a vagina in Japan. I know, but they have the most obscure sexual panties. Yeah, they have panty vending machines. More than that, though. There's an entire area. Have you been there?

Yeah. Oh, Japan's the best, dude. I've talked about it. It's one of my favorite countries, literally. Maybe I will be converted. It's so dope. You would love it, too.

I would probably love it. Joking aside, it's so dope. No, joking aside, I would love it. They have an area called, it's run by, dude, it's run I would love it. They have an area called... It's run by... Dude, it's run by African mobsters. It's the weirdest thing.

And they're like the only black people you see in Japan. And they're in one area. And they run kind of like their... You make it sound like District 9. It is. It is. Sharto Copley directed this part of Japan. God, what is it fucking called?

Why can't I think of the name? Swiss! Swiss! What's the name of the area of Japan that's really shady? Roppongi. And it's run by who? Nigerians!

Dude, so there's a ton of Nigerians. I think it's very offensive that you have your wife outside the door ready to answer she's outside she's outside she's got a google by the way she's outside i don't even let her in the house she's outside outside yeah she's outside outside yeah yeah i don't let her inside gross yeah she'll get period stuff everywhere whatever they do you know these broads that's what's funny when you just said you're like oh i like uh like you're like oh i'm joking about canada we're joking most of the time i think the thing that people don't that people are like i love that you're a comedian and then sometimes you make a joke and they're like

slightly offended and you're like oh yeah dude didn't you love that i was a fucking comedian wasn't that the whole why are you taking i am a criminal slash mentally ill person. Why would you take... Mentally ill should have come first. Yeah. Well, yeah, you're right. Mentally ill, then criminal. Yeah. I'm not a criminal anymore, I don't think.

Yeah, you don't do much bad. I have not. I only smoke drugs and stuff. Smoke drugs is fine. I don't understand why people take comedians as more serious than politicians. But how about this? This is the irony of what you just said. Don't take anybody serious.

Politicians are phonies too. Of course. The idea, I tweeted, I tweeted a couple days ago, I tweeted, Calvin Klein has a new, like, a line for big girls, and it's obese.

That's fine. Let them have it. Yep, they That's fine. Let them have it. Yep, they can have it. They can have it. And I made a simple joke. The Lizzo line? Is that what it's called? You're fucked.

Why not bring someone up, and I just can cancel? No. No, I wrote, it was just a big girl in a Calvin Klein ad, and it said, you know, like, Calvin Klein is promoting big models, whatever. Great. I'm also allowed to make a stupid joke. And I wrote, this is one way to sell more fabric. And it was just, it's a throwaway joke.

But it's like. Allow the economy. Are you not a. I'm an economist. Yeah. I'm just trying to say Calvin Klein needs to make a comeback. Mark Wahlberg can't be showing his cock anymore with his clothes off. If you need to shift your perspective, I get it.

Fucking Wrangler and Levi's have been manipulating that. Oh, dude, for years. For years. They make jeans that they never imagined that they would make. Of course. Back in the 60s. Look, we're throwing away shitty, stupid social jokes, and the idea to take us serious is so lame.

It's get over it. It's over. Relax. It's not that big of a deal. We're such a privileged fucking country. We have so many great things that you're like, yeah, dude, we're going to get better. We also still need to shit on each other and joke the fuck around. Yeah, dude.

I don't get it. Well, I do get it. Here's the thing. I don't get it. Well, I do get it. Here's the thing. I don't think it's a thing anymore. This Chappelle thing is taking the sheet off of all of it. There's nothing to it. When I see a quote-unquote journalist, but they're really just a failed comic,

writing an article for Vice or something, and they have 2,000 followers, and they're really just a failed comic writing an article for Vice or something. And they have like 2,000 followers. And they're like, Chappelle's canceled. And then Chappelle sells out an arena without even promoting it on a website. I go, this person, does anyone think they're right? Yeah, no. Yeah, it's ridiculous. Well, I've said this.

If you're a civilian and you have a comment about the Chappelle special, I'm probably pretty likely to at least hear you out. Yeah. If you're a comic. If you're a comedian and you have this grandiose idea that you're going to pick apart his special, I have zero time. Literally zero time. What have you done? I try to put myself in the mindset of these people oh impossible and what i think they're doing is like jail where they're punching

the biggest guy in the room right they want it if you can knock out the beast you'll get a little respect they want the hit they want the clicks like they think it's a victory even getting people to go well you're completely wrong right so i feel like us giving any credence to them, even on a level of disputing them, is too much. If we just ignore these 1,425,000 follower people who write these articles, it'll be a fart in the wind.

Well, most of them are. But just like the jail theory, they do punch the biggest guy in the room hoping it'll get them some clout and clap. That's all that it is. And it may until next week when everybody wants to beat you and rape you and kill you.

Like you're Mr. Tough Guy until they all fuck you up. Take a shot. The woman who wrote the Splitsider article. I don't know who that is. Do you know the name? I don't remember the name. Take a shot. Fuck it. wrote the Splitsider article. I don't know who that is. Do you know the name? I don't remember the name. Take a shot.

Fuck it. I could Google it real quick. It's a woman who either wrote or appeared on Two Dope Queens. She's trying to get Dave Chappelle canceled. You know what's funny? I don't want to say her name because I don't want to give her credit. Do you know what I mean? That's fine.

That's why I really don't want to. You're right. You're right. Go ahead. Keep talking. She wrote this like it must be tough to be 40 and do comedy Dave Chappelle

so she's trying to get Dave Chappelle cancelled meanwhile her whole credit is a show that got cancelled that's great dude you know what I'm saying I'm nothing by the way you know what I mean I've had comics attack me be like suck that sagura dick some more you know what I'm nothing by the way you know what I mean that's funny like people I've had comics attack me be like

suck that sagura dick some more you know what I'm saying like comics come at me because like I've ascended to a level because of my relationships

and because I've done it for a decade I feel like I don't think Tom would give me any of these things if I didn't deserve it you know how about this

here's my opinion about comedy are you funny and a good I hope so and a good are you funny if I didn't deserve it, you know? How about this? Here's my opinion about comedy. Are you funny and a good person? I hope so. Are you funny and a cool person to kick it with? Mm-hmm. Yeah. That's all I've done for my decade of this.

Well, then you're probably okay. Thank you. I just feel like that's how I view anybody anymore. Are you not annoying? And do you work hard at what you do? And are you not a climber and it seems that you're just trying to get famous? Yeah, well, that's the other thing. There are people that try very, very hard, like this person that wrote this article.

They talk shit about other comics just so they can get up. How can you have the pride they talk shit about other comics how can just so they can get up well can you have the pride to talk shit i don't know like i just want to make what i do good yeah so that people like you and like whomever else go like hey you're doing it i don't make a statement about what other people are doing if i think they're shitty i'll talk to my friends and be like this guy sucks right you know right but i won't be like writing a article on a major website it's it is a it is a sad cry for help it is somebody that is saying i definitely need this attention well here because i've said this a million times here's my point about critics in general they're fucking bullshit almost all critics can suck my fucking orange cock.

I care about almost none of you. Your job is bullshit. You don't do the work. You don't do the art. What a wild job. This is bullshit. I don't care about your fucking opinion of what we do or what other people do because you didn't put in the work. So, like, you don't get to fucking show up to the gym and judge my jump shot.

You weren't there. You know who gets to decide what I do? Dave Chappelle. Yeah, that's right. Joe Rogan. That's right. Those people, if they were to be like, Josh sucks at comedy, then listen to them. Yep, I would.

And I'd go, you know what? Josh, quit. Yeah, yeah. Josh, you got to quit. And I would go, good night. Take it easy. Heroin. And it comes full circle.

It's true. I just feel like the idea to give these people any weight whatsoever, it doesn't mean people can't write articles and have opinions, have your opinion. But to get on a high horse like your viewpoint is worth everyone's time to listen to, to shut down somebody. It's so silly. It's the audacity. Just shit on everybody like we used to behind closed doors like an adult. Well, it's the audacity to think that you are in this field and you are ascending to a level

and that you can speak on anybody else doing it is wild. It's bullshit. Well, let me say this. I think this is important. You should have an opinion about comedy. You should feel however it is you want to feel. Whatever you want to think about this whole fucking thing,

you also don't need to like the Chappelle special. I'm not sitting here. Yeah, that's fine. I don't like that people are like, it was fucking amazing. You're a fucking idiot for not liking it. Dude, people are allowed to not like the Chappelle special. I'm not sitting here. Yeah, that's fine. I don't like that people are like, it was fucking amazing. You're a fucking idiot for not liking it. Dude, people are allowed to not like the Chappelle special. That's fine.

It's the fact that you are clout chasing. Clout chasing is the problem. And you are demeaning a titan. Yes, because you know it'll help you. Because you just want the action. Clickbait, baby. That's all you want is the action. And that's disingenuous.

You're right. Because if you were really, if it was real, it would be like a, if like a, if like a, like a, you know, a guy who usually writes music articles wrote an article about the Spell special, I'd probably read it. You know, if like, if like somebody wrote an article about nothing that, that doesn't live in this world, I'd probably read it and enjoy it enjoy it their perspective on it whether they liked it or hated it because i'd go well this is cool this is valid this is an outside third party but when you're inside the machine and you just are doing that because you know that's gonna sneak you up a little bit maybe in little factions of

it it's just gross i just don't understand these people that are like socially conscious, they don't recognize the fact that the people that like kind of galvanize that thought process are disingenuous in their intentions. Yeah, their intent, yeah. This woman wants to be Dave Chappelle. Of course. And she has more credits than me. I'm not even like disparaging her as a talent.

She could very well be a great comedian. I don't know. She's written for this and that. But at the same time, the things that you've been on, they failed. You know what I'm saying? So what gives you the authority to go to a guy who has one of the most successful TV shows? Special on special on special on special. Do you know what I'm saying?

Right, to tear it down. To say that you don't like it, fine. Then guess what? Just say I don't like it. To act like you are the voice of the world is ridiculous. Ridiculous. When Seinfeld comes out with his magazine and talks shit about what he likes and hates, then I'll read it.

I'll go, I'll read what that guy thinks. Even he can be off though of course of course everyone's most people are wrong how about that most people are why are you listening to people other than yourself like go see for yourself yeah check it out if you like it you fucking like it if you hate it yeah you fucking hate that's how i feel about everything with live comedy everything yeah how about this this weekend get your shit together and go to see josh in seattle because you're going to be at... I'm going to be actually...

Once this comes out, Seattle would happen last night. Last night, it already happened. Tonight, I'll be in Tacoma and then Sunday, I'll be in Portland. So tomorrow night, Saturday night, go to Tacoma. Actually, Sunday night. Wait, wait. Sunday... Sunday night, I'm in Portland. Tonight, Friday... This comes out on Friday? This comes out on Friday. Yeah, this Friday. Friday Sunday night I'm in Portland

tonight Friday this comes out on Friday yeah this Friday Friday night I'm in Tacoma Tacoma come out to Tacoma Washington if you're in the greater Tacoma area

please come out Josh does this great thing where he does comedy and then he hangs out afterwards to see if people will have sex with him I mean doesn't everyone

that's that's the goal and if if you do end up having sex with him. I mean, doesn't everyone? That's the goal. And if you do end up having sex with Josh after the show, please yell Whiskey Ginger as you're leaving. When you leave Josh after the night is done, go Whiskey Ginger when on your way out. On the way out? That seems like I feel like you should tweet

hashtag Whiskey Ginger when you have sex with me. Okay, okay. If you have sex with Josh, tweet Whiskey Ginger. Say, I just slobbed on Josh's knob, hashtag Whiskey Ginger. Guy or girl, by the way. He's not discriminatory. He'll take anything. It's really nice to have an open dog.

I'm not discriminatory. Whatever species. Whoever is in, who's in. Go see Josh this weekend the pacific northwest uh if you want to see where else josh is playing because uh he's all around go to oh can i plug it plug it baby i have uh i'm gonna be in my hometown buffalo new york baby buffalo headlining helium comedy club november 6th i'm so excited for that gig november 6th go out buffalo i'm to be in November 23rd

in Baltimore at the famous have you done that place I've never it's Sickler's whole deal Baltimore I've only done

in Baltimore I only did Comedy Factory Comedy Factory? Magoobies? no Comedy Factory is what it used to be

Magoobies is what I've only done Magoobies is I've heard that's the other one I did Comedy Factory and the Power and Light I think it's called is that the Black Person Club? It's the Black Club.

You did that? What's crazy, they made me put on blackface. That's cool. They made me put on blackface. You did blackface. Of course. They said, if you're going to come to the club. Sambo Santino.

I did it, dude. And they paid me. Guys, thank you so much for joining us for joining us i appreciate you coming dude go check out josh go peep his dates go to his website go to his instagram i'll plug all that bullshit in the description this uh this month i'm in toronto dude i'm in canadia at just for laughs at our jfl 42 whatever they fucking call it something else because it's not montreal but come out and see me in toronto i've never done Toronto, and we're already... That's crazy, dude.

...more than halfway sold out. I know. Come see me. That's great, dude. Come see me, bitch. We're doing one live Whiskey Ginger. Guests, I'm not going to tell you who because it's going to be dope as fuck.

It's a surprise. And four live shows. I don't even know how many. I'm doing a bunch. Just go to my fucking... Go to Andrew's. Dude, do the thing. Get the fuck out of here.

Go do the goddamn thing. You know what to do. Dude, thank you for coming. I appreciate it. I really appreciate you having me. I do the goddamn thing. You know what to do. Dude, thank you for coming. I appreciate it. I really appreciate you having me. I'm like a nobody, but thank you so much. No, no. You're somebody to me.

I'm trying. I want to try this. Give me one final word to sign off. Go ahead. One word. 9-11. There it is. In here, we pour whisk, whisk, whisk, whisk, whisk.

You're that creature in the ginger beard. Sturdy and ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are beautiful. You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse. Gingers are hell no. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers.