Whiskey Ginger with Andrew Santino - Ken Marino and Santino become friends! | Whiskey Ginger

Episode Date: August 7, 2026

Welcome to Whiskey Ginger a Wave series presented by Fanduel. Andrew Santino sits down with actor, comedian, writer, and director Ken Marino for a hilarious conversation about decades in comedy, improvisation, Hollywood, friendship, and somehow still finding new ways to make each other laugh. From *The State* and *Wet Hot American Summer* to writing, directing, and acting across film and television, Ken has spent years building one of comedy's most beloved careers. The two dive into sketch comedy, making cult classics, life behind the camera, ridiculous auditions, and why the funniest ideas usually start as the dumbest ones. It's the kind of conversation only two comedy lifers can have equal parts absurd, insightful, and completely off the rails. Be sure to check out Ken's latest film, *Gail Daughtry and the Celebrity Sex Pass*, which he co-wrote with David Wain and also stars in. And don't miss **Middle Aged Dad Jam Band**, Ken's touring band with David Wain and Craig Wedren, celebrating 25 years of *Wet Hot American Summer* with comedy and classic rock. Learn more about the film and tour: https://www.middleageddadjamband.com Follow Ken Marino: https://www.instagram.com/kenmarino Follow Andrew Santino: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino Follow Whiskey Ginger: https://instagram.com/whiskeygingerpodcast #WhiskeyGinger #AndrewSantino #KenMarino #ComedyPodcast ===================================================== This episode is sponsored by: SQUARESPACE USE PROMO CODE: WHISKEY GET 10% OFF YOUR ORDER https://squarespace.com/whiskey FANDUEL Play Daily Dingers and make your FREE pick on who’s hitting a homer. http://fanduel.com/whiskey SHADYRAYS PROMO CODE: GINGER GET 50% OFF 2+ PAIRS OF POLARIZED SHADES https://shadyrays.com HELIX Go to helixsleep.com/Whiskey for 20% off Sitewide, 25% off Luxe Mattresses, and 30% off Elite Mattresses Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome back to Whiskey Ginger, a Wave series presented by Fandul. Hey there, Whisk Ginge fans, I am in St. Charles tonight. St. Louis, St. Charles, whatever you call it, I'm here tonight. One more show before the end of the year. Go to Andrewsantino.com for those tickets. Andrew Santino.com. In here, we pour whisk, whisk, whisk, whisk. You were that creature in the ginger beard.

Sturdy and ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. is a fugitive. You want me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse. Ginger's, oh, hell now. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger.

I like gingers. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Whiskey Ginger. My guest says that is one of my favorite people on earth. I say that for all my guests, but I mean it once again today. It's Camarino. Hi, how are you? Camarino, thank you for coming. Thank you for rolling the yard.

Marino. Marino. How does a guy from New York feel about the Knicks? Do you care? I love the Knicks. Was this a big deal for you or no? It was a huge deal. You know, when I was living in Manhattan in the 90s, I lived on 26th and 7th and a shared

a place with like three other guys, and we all bought two seats, season tickets, and we would split, you know, we would all split it when we would go. We watched a pre-game show at our apartment, then walk down the street and be in our seats by tip-off. Wow. And it was the year that they went to the finals. and lost. And it was incredible. And, you know, I was, so I was a Nick fan during that whole time and sort of unhealthily, unhealthily obsessed with them. And then, and then followed them throughout the years.

And then sort of like, you know, when it was really down and ugly, and I was living in Los Angeles, I sort of lost touch a little bit. And then got back into it when I was shooting in New York. I was shooting a show called The Other Two in New York. Love that show, man. Thank you. It's fantastic. Thank you. I love it. to two. Because I've known him for years. Who? Drew. Drew. Yeah. He's the best. He's unbelievable. So we were roommates.

We were like, hey, they gave you a, you know, relocation fee. And so after the first year, we were like, hey, should we just pull our money together and get a better place? Yeah. And so we did. And we got a slightly better place. But it was nice. And we had a great time. That show was so good, man. You, by the way, underrated on that show. Thank you. Like the show was well received, but I think it's one of those things where, like, There's a few people that really know it. The people that really know it are like in love with it. It's one of those shows.

Like, did you ever see a show called Getting On? They made it in Britain and then we remade it here with Niecy Nash. Oh, no, no, I haven't. See, this is one of those, it's another, it's a gem like your show where you're like, this is, if you watch it, you'll fall in love with it immediately. All right, I'll watch it. It's very, very good. If you like Niecy Nash. I love Necy.

And Lori McKaff. Well, one of the best actresses on the planet Earth. She's incredible. But let's talk more about you in New York. Mostly about Laurie McKeff. Yeah. She is very good. Yeah.

No, I'll say this. We've shared, whether you know this or not, we've shared moments together in a room on camera. We were on camera for five seconds together, I think. I did an episode of Children's Hospital. Oh, my gosh. I don't know. We'd have to look it up. I could look it up.

It was a long time ago. What was this scene? I was Jasper Pants. I was a dead old Irish golfer. I was like in the hospital. I remember that. Jasper Pants. It was me, Mollen.

And Malin and I then would go on to do an unbelievably bad television show together. Which one of the worst of all time? Unheard of. It was called... I've done a lot of unheard of. Dude, I've done way more. I don't know about that. I've been around a long time. It was called Sin City Saints.

It was Yahoo's first TV show, but a basketball team in Vegas. This was my favorite. Actually, speaking to critics, the first critic that wrote about it goes, the show is terrible and the concept is bad. They'll never be a professional sports team in Vegas. And then now there's going to be all of them. But he was like, this is already a bad idea. And that was kind of in it was we're a franchise team that moved to Vegas.

But Malin and I did it. And it was great, but I had met her for the first time doing children's hospital. Yeah, yeah. Mullen's the best. 2013. A couple years ago. But are you saying, and maybe I'm reading between the lines, but are you saying the reason all the

the, uh, sports, uh, I mean, all the teams are going to to Vegas now is because you're your show yeah that's exactly what I'm saying yeah and I'm glad you caught it because I thought this man is a smart man he did go to NYU but is he going to really grab onto something I grabbed onto it and then I stuttered for a while I don't know if you were there I don't know it's a maybe at a certain point you were looking at me and you're like I hope he says something yeah I just didn't want you to have a medical emergency I've not we're not we don't we're close to a hospital aren't we no unfortunately no that one just shut down about a week

and a half ago man that was my favorite one it was that one was good that one was really good. Because I had all the extra medicine. It's so much more medicine. You know, when you walked in, they had like a bowl full of medicine that you can grab. It was just in a free open popcorn bowl. Yeah, grab some medicine. How can I help you?

What was the color of your popcorn bowl as a kid in your house growing up? There was a color of a popcorn bowl. What was it? We got into this discussion before. The color of my popcorn bowl. When family ate popcorn together, what did it look like? Oh, oh. Well, that's presumptuous because we didn't eat popcorn together.

Oh, it was all in separate rooms. Yeah. Yeah, and my dad's was blue. My wife, because I was when I was married, I very young at five. Nine, right? Yeah, all five, yeah. My mother's was green. My sisters was purple, and mine was white, like an off white.

Yeah, okay, so not eggshell. We were eggshell. Egg shell. Yeah, okay, it was. No, actually, the real answer is Egg shell. Egg shell, that was in this ex-cell. We had a discussion about this because there was this iconic, like, 90s, 80s, 90s popcorn bowl that was wood, and it was like different grains of wood

facing different ways and this was like this what did your popcorn bowl look like as a family and now my father if I go home and I put popcorn in anything but the old wood bowl

he's like that's not the popcorn ball I put it I put popcorn in a wood bowl now like we have a solid a wood salad bowl that's where it goes and that's where and I but you know you do the real popcorn do you like do the microwave popcorn no on the stove

you do the on the stove oh yeah yeah we will sometimes do do the popcorn in the microwave, but the stove is better. Yeah, yeah, but, you know, sometimes I just want to drop it in the microwave. Don't do it, man, there's P-FAS in there. But I, there's what? Pete's ass?

Pete's ass is in there. Oh, Jesus Christ. And you remember Pete, he was never a clean guy. No, this guy never washes. P-FAS, forever chemicals. Dirty Pete. Yeah, dirty Pee. Well, that's what we call them on the street.

Dirty Pete, dude. Yeah, the, the, his ass and another bag of popcorn. What was he doing that for? Was that for clout or something? He just put his ass in kernels, and he was like, It was sort of a bragging thing. He's like, I got my ass and some more kernels. And then, of course, those kernels show up in popcorn bags.

You know what that reminds me of? Ass pennies. That sounds like it. It does sound like ass pennies, right? Yeah. Because then I know the change is in his hands. His delivery, just his, his delivery is one of the most, is one of my favorite deliveries of all, like, comedians.

Oh. He's just like, and, you know, it's sort of, he has a similar delivery is, what's his name from, um, uh, God, see, I'm gonna,

never mind. Put the drink down. Yeah. Well, we'll give reference for people that don't know if you've never seen the sketch ass pennies.

Please Google ass pennies. I don't want to give any more away because it's one of the funniest. It's just so good. Super Dave Osborne. Who's the guy played Super Dave Osborne? Uh, ba,

ba, ba, but, Einstein, Bob Einstein. Bob Einstein. Same delivery. Yeah,

same kind of dry and deep. Yeah, a really good voice. I'm going to give you a little bit of props real fast before we move on. Big fan, big fan from far away. I've always, I've been following you literally for a long, long time.

That's me with the flashlight outside of your home. Oh, that was you? Because there's a lot of people outside my house with a lot of flashlights. Not as often as I am. There's no chance. But you know a couple of the guys. I took care of a few of those guys.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, thank you very much. Honestly, man. The state. Because we didn't have any outside lighting, so. Yeah, no, we needed. I know.

You got to fix some of that stuff. I will fix it on my own. What's the deal with outside lighting? It just doesn't last too long. It's not supposed to, built to break. Built to break. Yeah, because they want you to have to buy a new one. More lights. I don't like it. That's why I don't have any lights outside of my home whatsoever. I have one that works, and then six or seven that are just out.

How many lights does it take of a piece of lighting? I love this joke. Two Jews are changing a piece of lighting, and a Muslim guy walks in. Who changes the lights first? Oh. Which I had a punch left. Okay, me too. How many lights go out in a lighting piece in your home before you actually start changing the bulbs?

Let's say it's a six-piece thing of lights. How many go out? Oh, oh, oh, and like a, yeah, like a... A lighting fixture, chandelier, whether a thing above your kitchen. Two. Two gone? If one's gone, I'm like, I've got to get to that. I wait to the last soldier's standing.

Really? Yeah, my wife is always like, what are you doing? It's dark in here. It's holding on. I want to see what that guy can do. I just want to see how long you can look. He's a champion. And then my father-in-law comes to the house and is like, these are all out.

Let me fix them all! He built their child at home with his hands. So you want to talk about emasculation at its finest. It's embarrassing to a degree that's like, I leave. I would go away for a while. I don't have a choice. I would always like when my dad would come visit because then I can, then we would fix everything. Together.

Yeah, we'd go around and fix it all. See, I never had that. Like, I can't do the... Like, were you a kid that could rebuild shit if it broke when you were a kid? Not so much. I mean, I learned a lot from my dad because he was a guy who would, like, there would be a Jeep on the side of the house. And then he would be like, yeah, I'm just going to fix all the parts, take everything apart and put it back in. I'm like, you're going to what?

That's awesome. And so then I'd watch him, like, clean up. I wouldn't sit with him because I was a kid. Child. I had no desire to watch my father, like, clean a camshaft or whatever the hell, you know. Right. And, but, but it was, but I did admire it. And I was like, wow, that's just a very different generation.

Oh, what did your pop do for a living? Well, he was a plumber. He's a cesspool guy. He cleaned cesspools, and he was a clam digger before that. The name cesspool is so, it's like, it's so negative. When you say, oh, the place is a cesspool. Yeah. It's actually a beautiful thing, a cesspool.

Well, look, I mean, without it, it'd be shit all over the place. That's exactly right. It'd be England a couple hundred years ago. Yeah. Just shit everywhere. We went to Italy and went through this one old, old town, and it was just like open, just like little river, you know, concrete, like, or stone river. Poop rivers. Poop rivers.

Yeah, little poop rivers. And then the shit goes through town and on its way out. You get to look at everybody's shit. Oh, there's Kevin. Kevin took another shit today. The idea that you can identify who's already awake. Who's awake? Oh, that's Mike. That's got to be Mike. Mike's up.

Wait, have you, did you spend a ton of time in Italy? Is this one of your favorite little getaway spots? I do like going to Italy, but I haven't spent a lot of time, but I've been three, three, three times, three, four times. I've got a big crush on it. We go almost every year. That's like our one. Where do you go to the same place? No, we try to jump around, but my family is Siciliano, Sicily. So we mostly go to Sicily. I've not been to Sicily. My dad's Sicilian. You got to go. My dad is part Sicilian.

His dad was Sicilian and his mom was from Rome. And then, but I've never been to Sicilian. I really want to go. I highly recommend. I wanted to go find where my dad's town was, you know, like his parents' town. And I asked around and I had the incorrect spelling because it was communicated through, you know, telephone. I was like, I think it's Cachimo. And I was like, it's Cachimo.

It's Caccummo. It's Cacammo. It's Cacammo. Cacomom. Yeah. He's like, why do you say catch? And I'm like, it's kotch, right? He's like, cock, like, cock, kam.

And I'm like, oh, okay. Okay, that's good too. Can I tell me where that is? He's like, it's up above the cesspool. So you admired your father's handiwork, but then I know this is an annoying, corny question. But I do. There are no, look, we're in a safe place. Well, I do want to know.

There are no annoying corny questions. Okay, because I admire you, your work. I think you're a fantastic comedic actor. actor why did you what what led you down the why didn't I choose the path of cleaning cesspools yeah my dad never wanted that he never kind of pushed me in that direction and I early on in my childhood I did a play and I and I and I and I people laughed and I got like I've been chasing that dragon ever since yeah that's what I mean because I it's I hate it as a comedian someone's like who got you

you to stand up and I'm like it's annoying but also It is interesting. I come from a family of no one is in the arts. Yeah, nobody was in the... No one's in the arts. So it's always interesting to me when people don't come from the arts background. When someone's like, my uncle was a writer and my grandmother was a, you know, then I'm always like, right, yeah. But my family was very much... What did your parents do?

My dad was in sales. My mom was a property management company marketing for property management. So like in Chicago, this, I was the only guy that left and they were like, did it in the house? So do you remember the moment that you were like, that you guys? got like the itch that you got the bug? I think, I think. Or do you even think of it? Yeah, no, I do.

My mom was a single mother for a while. And so I think then like making my mom laugh, like always trying to make my mom laugh. And it was a big thing in our family. My grandfather was a funny, jovial guy. So I think we always were trying to tease each other. And then I sang and told jokes at my mom and my stepdad's wedding. And I killed. I killed.

And I was like, I want more of that, right? Yeah. That's the thing. It was a moment. I was like, this is, I'm the, and everyone's like, you're so good. I'm like, I'm so good. Thank you so much. I thought so good.

I'm eight years, seven years old and I'm like, yeah, I'm the shit. Can I tell you something though? And I don't want to, this might fuck you up. I don't know, because it sort of fucked me up for a little while just recently. I thought about it. I'm like, I did this play, right? And I wasn't supposed to be in a play. Like, they threw me in this play.

I was at a summer camp, and that's what you did at the end of the year. And it was in third grade or whatever. And, and I, and I was. went out and I got nervous and I locked myself in a bathroom. My sister talked, my older sister was at the camp too and she talked me out of the bathroom and I come out and then I do it, right? I build up enough courage to do it. Everybody's laughing and I'm like, this is fucking great. I'm really terrific. And then just recently I thought, you know what? Everybody just might have been laughing because I locked myself in the bathroom and they're just trying to make me feel

good. And maybe I'm not as incredible as I thought I was at age, whatever, eight or seven. That's a microcosm of the business as a whole. We think we're... We think we're... But everyone's actually like, I feel bad for that guy. This is his thing. He's so silly.

He's standing up there by himself. What a silly boy. I should laugh. Yeah, I was a little freckle-faced pumpkin-headed kid in a suit. I was wearing like a three-piece suit. That's very funny. Off the jump.

Yeah, you don't have to... That's it. Visual. Little red-headed men in suits, you're like funny, little tiny red-headed man. Like, now he's going to say some jokes? How cute! Yeah, I think I thought I was...

and then this sounds trite, but I don't really remember getting Johnny Carson, but I'd watch it a lot as a kid. My mom would catch me watching it, because I was obsessed with the rhythm. I think I just enjoyed this comedic popping. I thought that was so funny.

So as a kid, I would watch it, but I don't really I don't remember like the, you know what I mean? I don't remember the core moments of it. Right. I just remember enjoying the thing, and I was like, I like that. I don't know what that is. There was a looseness and a fun, they had a fun time back then. It was like, Yeah, it doesn't feel like that.

When you do like very like standard tonight shows or those shows, do you feel like you're set up against the wall a little bit or no? I don't, look, to be honest with you, are we talking? Real talk? Yeah. Podcasts and talk shows are not like something that I'm like, oh, I got to. I can't wait to do that. Sure. Because I don't necessarily, the reason I chose what I do is not to show, to be me.

Yeah. Like I like escaping into characters or just like acting and playing different parts and all that stuff. Like the idea of like me talking as myself and being entertaining and like that that's that creates a little anxiety from it. Nerve-wracking. Yeah. But then I'll fuck you up. You're playing a character now too. This isn't you either. I know. We're all playing a character. Well, but that's what I that's, you know, that's, I have to snap into some version of that. and that's, but, but, but then it's like, then I feel like I'm being, like, it's bullshit. And then I also feel like, just on certain podcasts, I remember like, can I talk about other podcasts? If they're good. This is a while ago, I went on Mark Merritt, right?

Like when, like, you don't want to talk about that? No, I'm kidding. No, no, no. No, but I went on his, I went on, you know, like, you went to go listen to his show. This is early on. Yeah. And, you know, I remember listening to it,

And then I got invited to be on and I'm like, I don't want to talk about like skeletons in my closet and dark moments in my life. I don't. That's what he does. I have no desire. Like, and who wants to fucking hear that about me? Now, maybe there are people who want to hear it. And there definitely are people who want to talk about it. But that's not what I, what I'm comfortable doing.

I don't want to talk about like the time that I really was just in an awful place. And so I got real nervous. And I went on and it was perfectly fine. But then when I went back and listened to it, it was. perfectly fine. It was like I wasn't giving any deeper thing for him to be like, ang, gong, gong, let me know more about that. Because that's what gets, I think, clicks him off as well. But like he likes to talk about it, right? And then I was also like, did you, I heard he'd like party down. But then he didn't ask me any questions about party down.

I was like, God damn it. I got some questions for you. Okay, good. By the way, did you send you send you home with the cat? Uh, three. Yeah. Oh, you got three. Yeah, I got a calico. I got two Siamese. You got two Siamese? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is it Siamese or Siamese? I don't know. Caribbean or Caribbean? It's a little offensive.

It is. Yeah. That's why they don't. My mother was Siamese. She was. Yeah? She was. Got rest her soul.

And you made her laugh a lot. Just for my mom. Oh, we can be quiet. Okay. Yeah, just from my mother. In here, we pour whiskey. This episode of Whiskey Ginger is brought to you by Squarespace. I've talked about Squarespace so much.

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Tinger. I like Tinders. It also slowed me down, so I appreciate it because I started getting real revved up. Least favorite cast member on Party Down. Go fast. Don't even think about it. Right away. I know who it is. Scott. This guy. Pig, piece of shit. I don't see a future for him. I don't see a future for him. And he's out with his family or something.

Yeah, like being all like handsome and funny and charming. Give me a fucking break, dude. What an asshole. I'm not a fan. Never have been. No. Never will be. He's a brilliant, funny guy.

He is great. Martin, on the other hand. Martin, Martin said to me, so after we shot the first season, it's a long time ago, Martin, Martin said, called me up. And he left me what was a loving message for Martin. From, you know, in Martin's heart, it was a kind message. But he left me a message.

He's like, hey, Marino. So I watch the shows. And I got to say, you know, you're pretty good. I never really liked anything you did. He's like, but you're pretty good on the show. I just wanted to tell you that. I was like, thank you. That's mean, funny, true, but good?

At least he turned around. It was great. It was fantastic. He's like, yeah, I've never been a real fan of yours, but... Really? Yeah, it's great. It's kind of mean and great. But that's Martin.

Like, he was just being honest. It wasn't... It wasn't, he wasn't, it wasn't meant to be mean or like biting. He was just like, I just didn't get your shit and now I get your shit. Right. Who do you go up against the most for shit? Who's the guy that you're like, that fucking guy when I was, when you were young that you're like, that guy and I go for the same thing all the time?

Oh. I don't even remember half the people's names anymore. I mean, it's good because they're, they're down there and you're up there. And you know that's true. No, or I just forget everybody's names. You do? I'm Andrew Santino. Santino.

Yeah, Santino. Sanino. Do you ever do that? You go, Marino. Marino. Well, you did it when you introduced me. Marino. Marino.

Yes, see, see. From cacatoo. From cacamole. Wackamo. Wackamo, cackamol. I do that whenever I travel, I do the thing where I go, like you're them. You know how they pause?

I get nervous. When I went to Italy, one time. My wife makes fun of me. I was so nervous, and we were in Italy, and I was trying to say goodbye, and I went. I went, Ola, as we left, and she's like, not only did you speak the wrong language, but you also said, hello, as you were leaving. I get nervous.

Yeah, but Ola may mean hello and goodbye. You could say that, couldn't you? He's from Spain. He's from Spain. He should be our... Fans, you can't do that? Oh, so I nailed it? Yeah.

You did. What's the young kid's way of saying high and goodbye? Like, what's a what's up? Chow. Chow? Chow? Chow? And chow is high and goodbye.

You can do chow for both. Yeah, yeah. So, not Ola. I think hello is... You know what? I'm going to start saying... But in Italian, you don't say, Ola?

No, you say chow. No, you say chow. Chow? In Italian? No, but I'm saying... when I was in Italy, I said, as I was leaving, goodbye. I'm trying to support you. There's nothing to support.

It was a mess. It was a hunkin. It's a goddamn train wreck. And your wife is like, it's not mine. I don't know who that is. That's a man we found. I don't know what to say to you. Just say goodbye.

They'll understand. I always do the English. I don't even pretend. We were in France. My wife tried to, like, the cabby tried to do the thing. Because she does speak French, but not like them. And the Parisian cabby was like, what is what what why

he was fucking livid about it and she turned to me I was like hey man she's just trying I'm sorry dude now you get the apps you can just talk it to it happen and it says it beautifully to have you seen the uh what Carlos got him right the our buddy got the headphones and they translate live I've seen that I haven't seen it in real life I've seen ads for it

yeah and it works though he said it works incredibly well so what happens you hear it and you speak to me translates it. And it receives it the way you would. I'm talking on a call and it translates it live. And then you can talk and the app can translate for you. Jesus Christ, it's too much. Yeah, we're going for it. I know. I've got too many things in my hands and my ear.

Wait till you see the new AirPod ass. They put it right up your ass. I got like a prototype. You got a new one? Yeah, I got an AirPod ass. That'd be great to do those commercials. AirPod ass. Is that Marino doing the AirPod? ad-ass? That's... I finally got a spot. I finally got a commercial. Did you do a commercial run when you were young? I did. A lot of, a lot of them? Not many. No. I was not good at it. I didn't like

going in. Do you remember auditioning for commercials? Dude, 200 South LaBreya. I lived at that place for years and years trying to get... I got Mike's Hard Lemonade was the first commercial I booked. Oh, that's good. Yeah, it was good. It was fine. That's when commercials sort of paid, right? That saved my life. That was one of those where, like, my rent was barely getting paid with the day job that I had and then I was when I got that I was like awesome I can I can go out to eat once a week now

Steve Aegee was at my house yesterday and we were talking about like commercials back then he's like it used to be you can book a commercial and you can like buy a house like if you got a good commercial that doesn't exist anymore does it Carlos he did YoCaro Taco Bell the dog why can't I think of his last name

I'm going to fuck it up. Carlo Acquisiri or as I don't know I don't know. I think if you rewind the tape I said earlier I'm not good with names

hola. Look up Carlos Taco Bell dog he was a comedic actor he is Yo Chiro Taco Bell? And he did that dog voice and that made him

I remember somebody being like you know that guy bought like three houses in the Hollywood Hills from that because it blew up and he was a comedic actor

I think he was a New York guy but he did the voice that Yeah, back then, if you got a big campaign and you were the guy, that's it. That doesn't exist anymore, does it? No, I don't think so. Al-A-Saraki. Uh-huh, say it?

Al-Sarraki. Al-Sarraki. Hello. Carlos Ar-Lasaraki. Yeah, he was the voice of the Taco Bell Dog. I remember that being like, people, it was like lore. People were like, you know, if you get a voice on a, you go buy a house. Do you do voiceovers?

I mean, do you do animated stuff? I did an animated movie called Goat. That came out just now, Steph Curry. Yeah, can we roll the tape? Okay. I did that, but I don't get to do much. You get to play. I get, I get invited to like Bob's burgers and stuff, which is always nice.

Oh, we did? You did, um... What did I do? Royal crackers. Royal crackers? I did? You did an episode of Royal crackers. I'm almost 100%. Look at them out.

Look at up. I'm always positive because I was going down the list of names because, you know, you shoot individually most of the time on those things. You don't really see who else does it. Yeah. But I remember them saying, and then I think Marino was going to do it. And I was like, oh, that's cool. Forgive me.

I told you I'm a fan, dude. I appreciate that. Royal Crackers was a two-season show. It was fucking brilliant. I thought it was so good. It was about a... He did, right? The character of Keith that appears in season two, specifically in episode three.

The character of who? Keith. Oh, yeah. Royal... You remember Keith, of course. There goes Keith. Classic. There's Keith.

Royal Crackers was a disgruntled... family taking over their families, young kids taking over their families, uh, literal saltine cracker business. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. So we work together. It's nice to see you again. It's nice to see you again. And Gilbert, have you been since we last work together? I'll send you an email. Gilbert Godfrey did one of our episodes and he did it. Um, I highly recommend it for you, uh, and the fans. It's one those beautiful episodes. I don't want to give it away, but something brilliant happens in it. and I remember he passed away, you know, shortly after this thing came out.

And I was like, the episode is like a, it's almost like a perfect send-off, so to speak. Oh, my God. Yeah, it was awesome, man. Like, when they told me, they were like, do you want to hear some Gilbert stuff? And I was like, yeah, can I just listen to it? Like, I just, hit some raw Gilbert stuff. I just wanted to hear him fuck around. Yeah.

Like, he was, he was. That was sad. Brilliant. Yeah. My God. Let's bring it back up again. All right. Let's bring it back up.

I'm sorry to do that. Let's talk about some people who didn't die. Who's alive? I don't know. Again, I'm terrible with names. Wayne, Wayne's alive. David Wayne's alive. Your boys alive. I was going to promote the movie that we... The movie's out.

The movie is out right now. Right now. Gail Daughtry and the Celebrity Sex Pass. What a great name. Well, you know, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom was taken, so we were like, what do we do? Yeah, who did that? Spielberg? I know he did Disclosure. Good movie.

Okay. Gail Dautry. Gail Dautry and the Celebrity Sex Pass is a movie that David and Wayne and I wrote, and it's about Gail Doughtry and a celebrity sex pass. And Zoe Deutsch plays Gail Dautry and the celebrity sex pass that she is trying to cash in is John Hymn.

Who would want to have sex with that guy? Gail Dautry. That's it to me. That's probably the only person. I mean, maybe there's some other women out there. I doubt it. I highly doubt it. He doesn't seem like a very, like, he's not like a fuckable guy.

He's not a hot guy. He's not really a hot guy. It's a very funny movie. I mean, you know, not that I pay attention to, you know, the reviews, but 82 on the fresh tomato thing. That's rotten tomatoes. That means something, right? Yeah, 82 on rotten tomatoes?

Oh, rotten tomatoes. 82% fresh. 82% fresh on rotten tomatoes. That's how you have to say it. Otherwise, the kids, I'll be very confused, yeah. That's good. 82 is really good. Right?

That's not bad. That's good. What's the lowest you ever got? I was just going to say, I think my average was 16. We looked it up one time. I think I was 16 or something like that. I'm down there. What's it?

Look up his word. I do need to see it now. This is my favorite game. I'm down there. What's the lowest rated Camerino thing? I think mine was, my lowest was, I think it was, what was a house party? That was really, really bad. What did the house party landed?

I think it was about four, four, four, five. Yeah, give or take. They redid house party, and I was token neighbor, Wike. guy and I thought this will be fun man house party was a great movie yes kid and play oh so this was a this was a remake of how the original kid and play movie I what I'm fascinated with when it's that low is who's who's the 4% who's like my family yeah my family my family my mom my dad my aunt you know people are like that's our kid leave him alone 34% is that's his lowest which movie masterminds masterminds mastermind yeah but I

I had a good time doing Mastermind. I got to meet Owen Wilson. I got to work with Owen Wilson, which was fun. I got to, I got to, the director. The director is the guy who did Napoleon Dynamite. Come on, help me out here. No, you got, let him find it on a sound. Stutter his way into his comfortableness.

What is the director of Mastermind? Jared Hess. Jared Hess. You know Jared Hess? Jared Hess. And he was wonderful, and then I got to hang out with Christian, you know, No. Kristen Whig.

Kristen Whig. I don't know. I just threw that out there. Zach who? Galaphanacus, yes, the artist. A good Italian boy. The writer. Who?

Since when? Just turned. Just turned. Yeah, just what's going on internationally. I think he just switched. Oh, they changed the line? They're allowed to the Europeans. I mean, he's Spanish for now.

For voting rights. Yeah, well, he just, well, he became naturalized. He just became a U.S. citizen, which we don't know if we're comfortable with because... I'm not saying. Yeah, oh, so go ahead, say USA. USA. See, yeah, we have to do that when you take the test. You have to chant USA.

Did you? Yep. Oh, God. It's question 19 or 20 on there. In that order, you have to say the letters in that order? Yeah, and if you fuck it up, that's it. I'd fuck it up. By the way, we took the nationalizing test, like with the guys.

I was like, let's just take it to see if we... Oh my God. We all failed. We all fucking failed. He was like, I'm going in to take my test. I'm like, how hard is this? It's fucking impossible. I bet.

It was so hard. I just got, I just pan-I had a panic attack just thinking about that. It was nuts. I think we got like three questions right. And I was like, we would fail our own. He knows, he was informing us. He's like, did you know? And I was like, no, we didn't know.

We knew none of this fucking stuff. We don't have to know that. We're born here. We live here, baby. We're real Americans. We don't know shit about this place. We're just proud of it. It is kind of the, that is kind of the vibe.

That while you're taking it, you think, man, None of these guys even know. Well, good for you. And now he's here so we can't kick him out. Thank God, because we do need him. He's a valuable resource to us. When did this happen? 2022.

2022. We're holding on strong to it, though. Congratulations. It's a big deal for us, you know, because we were afraid they were going to take him. No one's going to take them now. Pajamas? Sweatpants or t-shirts? Sweat pants.

You don't get too hot? When I get hot, I wear just like, cut up sweatpants. You'll send us a photo so we can show it to the audience? Now? When you get home? Sure. Thank you so much. I like sometimes just a t-shirt. Nothing on down there. Because my shoulders get cold. Is that weird? My shoulders get cold. That's the Winnie the Pooh. That's what that's called. And sometimes I'm like, you know, I like a birthday suit when you're in a hotel. I'm like, ah, I'm just going to just take a shower and

and get in bed and be naked. But then my shoulders always get cold. I don't know why. You get those little shoulder pads from the 80s that they used to put in women's suits. Yeah, I just need a little shoulder warmer, like hand warmers, but just stick them on my shoulders? Why don't you just drape a towel over your shoulders?

Like a... Because I roll around all that. I'm like a rotissory chicken. I'm constantly like... Hmm, sounds like an invention that needs to be made by Marino and Santino. Marino and Santino shoulder warmers. I think we should do that.

The Marino Santino shoulder warmers. Keep you warm at night. It's a market that has... not been tapped into. The Marino Santino shoulder warmers? I mean, let's not say it without our names because we are patenting this. Yes, Marino Santino. Shoulder Warmers.

People do need, well, because look, scarves, you know, they do shoulders and necks. We're not worried about the neck. No. Our company's only worried about shoulders. Shoulders, my brother. Cold shoulders. Do you have cold shoulders? Is your wife giving you the cold shoulder every night?

Get yourself a Marino-Santino shoulder warmer. Is it plug in or is it battery? How do we do this? I think it's, well, I think now with everything you can just Bluetooth it, you just plug it in, and then it's charged for it. It's like a phone charger. And use it? Use it if you want. That's a little bit more.

White noise. Yeah, that's a little more expensive. White noise would be nice. Yes. Guys, please go buy it right now. Go to Marino and Santino Shoulder Warmer's.com. Use the promo code, hey, hey, for 15% off. Ola.

Lola. Missed opportunity. Yes, use the promo code, Ola for 15% off at the Marino's Settino Shelter War. By the way, my wife and I got in this talk last time. We stayed in a hotel. It's good that you guys are still talking. Not, well, this is only on Sundays. Oh, okay.

Right there, big dog. We stayed in, he's up there. We stayed in, uh, don't come down. He's coming down? Yeah, he will. Oh, shit. All right, don't look up. Don't look up.

Please. We stayed, we were in a hotel in New York, and I got out of the shower, got in bed naked. And I always sleep naked. And she said, you know, I just can't do it in hotels. I don't know who's in here last. I said, they cleaned the sheets. Yeah. She said, not the comforter.

I said, you think they don't? She said, no chance. I don't know if they clean the comforter, but I think about that. But you're not sleeping on top of the comforter, right? But I kick around. So you're rotissory chicken, and I'm a kicking and screaming. I move the sheets a lot. I kick them off of me.

Pull them out, yeah, yeah, yeah. So then I get worried. Do you like, some people wear socks? Crazy people, that's insane. I don't understand that. What are we talking about? I need my feet to get air. Yeah.

Yeah, otherwise, because that's what regulates the temperature. You said to sweatpants so I get too hot. Not if I could stick my feet out from underneath the sheets, but the rest of me is under the sheets except for the t-shirt that's covering my cold shoulders. It's complicated. It's a, it's a whole thing. Math equation. Do you have to check stuff off before you go?

I do, I do. I also tape my nose. You do that. I tape my nose. And now I have this, and I tape my mouth. You do mouth tape. Yeah, but I just stopped because I found this thing because I grind my teeth. Me too.

But now I got this thing that I bought, I don't want to go. My dentist is like, you grind your teeth. Let me, come in here for fitting, and it's a $400 mouth guard that you got. And I'm like, I want to pay $400 for a thing. And then I went to CVS. Yeah. And you get one for, you know, at $25. Yep.

Works great. Yeah. So what the hell is my dentist trying to do to me? The medical industrial complex is trying to take over, and you're fighting the good fight. Big dentist? Big dentist. Big dentist is out there. Big dentist is out there.

Just one big dentist. Hey, did we have a nice time in Children's Hospital? No. We did not. Did you have a nice time? I had an incredible time. I was remarkably nervous. Were you?

Yeah. I mean, I was, you know, I was very new to like, I was a stand-up and I wanted to try to do comedic acting. And then I was so new to the world I had done, and I think around, that was 2013. So I had done like the office. I got to do like a cameo on the, like I did a few pop around things. But I was a fan of the show and I was a fan of a lot of you guys. on the show. Not everyone. There's a few people I didn't like on the show. Oh shit. That's what I want

to know. You know who it was. Okay. Sure. Say it on the kind of three. One, two, three. Again. No, I had a great time. I was just very nervous. I was genuinely very nervous. Which is funny because like, then years later, someone's like, are you nervous doing this or that with these people? And I'm like, no. I was way more nervous on like a comedy show of people that I admired more so than like some A-list, whoever the fuck that, like, that was like, They're coming in for a day. The superstar coming. I don't give a shit.

I don't fuck. I was more about people that I admired. So, yeah, I was very nervous in bed. And I was like, please be funny. Don't fuck it out. Oh, wait. I saw you at the celebrity family feud thing. We were there.

We lost, by the way. We won. I know who we played? Do you remember? You guys played... The fucking Osmond. Oh, yeah, Danny Osmond. That's right.

I remember seeing him. Yeah. We played the Osmonds. Which was the reason I did it. Like, I'm going to, me and my family are going to play up against the Osmans? So cool. It was great. And you cooked them.

Yeah, we were rubbing it in a little bit. We took him out. We took them out real quick. Backstage. You go, fuck you, Osmond. Yeah, we got into a little bit of a little stuff. Yeah, you beat his ass. I didn't beat his ass, but, you know, we did.

It looked like it, dude. You were, I just, I saw you staring at me smiling. Yeah. Well, I said, yeah. I'm a little bit country. Yeah, I'm a little bit country. Why did you? Yeah.

Well, I was down. I was like, yeah, get them. We lost a flavor, flayf. You did? Yeah. Did you have any good answers or did you? We did. We actually got screwed.

If you look at the tape, kids at home, one of the questions was, and you're going to be on my team about this. Listen, how this is insane. What do you do at night that you regret the next morning? Things you do at night that you regret the next morning. Drink. Of course. Give me a couple easy ones.

Drugs. Yeah. things that you do at night that you eat eat you eat late you know um you know like you then you can't sleep and what's a thing you might feel regret if you're a single young person and you're out drinking late at night and you meet someone yeah might you regret somebody you're like or you sleep with someone you sleep with somebody one-night-s-fus sure you might be like I wish I knew that that's okay these are literally all of our answers yeah if you're winding back those are the four we gave all X's and the

winning one of them was right and the winning thing that we missed the one that we missed was working out. And I looked at Steve Harvey. He looked at us and he was like, I don't know. Why would you regret working out late at night? I was so mad about it. And Steve, off camera, he's like, man, that was terrible. Y'all got screwed.

I was like, working out. Like, even he was like, that was really bad. Insane. But we had a great time meeting Flav and his family. Flava, Mr. Flav, as it were. Sir Flav. He's John Flavre. Is it Jonathan Flavre? John Flavaricious or something like that, I think.

Originally it was... He had so many kin, so many young people, that two of his children met for the first time at Family Feud. How about that? Backstage. Did they feud? It was more family than feud. Oh, well, that's nice. We watched it happen, too.

He was like, they're meeting, and I'm like, who are these people? He's like, those are my kids. I was like, that's amazing. They literally were like, what's all, man, it's good to see you. I was like, oh, that's very cool. So that's why he deserved to win, and we deserve to lose. even though our charity was much more important, but it's fine.

Who was your charity? Who'd you play for? We played for a... The Santino-Marino? No, we played for a homeless... What the heck's the name of it? Oh my God. I can't remember names.

It's okay. Here in L.A.? Yeah. Yeah, homeless thing. Yeah. A homeless... It was great. It needed it.

We did children's. We always give to the kids. I've always said this. This is very dark, but it is true that when an adult gets cancer, you're like, oh, that's bad. but when a kid gets cancer you're like that's actually bad it's not that adults

I don't care if you get cancer but it's just I don't it happens it happens yeah with kids you're like that doesn't deserve to happen with an adult you're like what are you to do man yeah and what was flavor flavors uh it was uh shoe laces yeah shoelace chain extenders it was just extension you could make your chain longer or shorter given the occasion

it's a good it's great it's a gig no it was all about clocks it was actually he was trying You want to make sure... Save the clocks. Him and Doc Brown were in on this whole thing. Save the clocks. In here, we pour whistle.

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You are going to get some of the greatest deals possible and some of the best sleep in the world. Ginger. I like genders. Who directed, did Wayne direct this movie? Yes. Bullshit, dude. Isn't that crazy? A fucking waste of time. Since when does he direct?

I know, man. I'm like, what is he directed that's been funny? Or good. Yeah. You don't ever, is this part of your, you want to direct? I have directed. But do you want to like, is this going to be the next chapter for you? Big directing?

I hope so. I like directing. I've directed a couple of movies. I did a movie called How to Be a Latin lover with Ohenio Der Bez. Do you know him? No, but I love the name. name. Yes, he's like one of the biggest stars in Mexico. He knows, you know that is, don't you? Eugenio, say it. Elginio der Bez. See, isn't that how niceer when he does that?

Did you ever see how to be a Latin lover? Yeah. Yeah, I directed that. Awesome movie. How many, what on the Rotten Tomato scale? Can you give us yours? Give it to us on the rotten empanada scale. Selma Hayek's in it. She's awesome. She's amazing. So good. Rob Lo's in it. No. You don't know? Okay. Can you imagine? 40%. Yeah, but that's not right. That's wrong. That's got to be incorrect.

It's a funny movie. It's 400%. 61 on the pop... There it is. Popcorn meter. We've got to just level you out. Yeah. You know?

It's a good movie. I want to watch it. It's very funny. You'd like it. How to Be a Latin lover. How to Be a Latin lover. Okay, good. Would you direct me? I'd love to direct you.

I'm not a good actor, but I do take notes well. I don't think you have to be... a good actor you just have to be you and I think it would be easy for you to be you what I'm asking right now this whole ruse was set up so you could give me a job let's do it oh I have to get you on I thought you had something for me give me give me a job oh yeah yeah but I needed you to give me the directing job shit we're to crossroads here we really are how do we do you want another refill yeah a little bit more no but I need another goddamn ice cube yeah will you go get him a little bit of I here will you grab

we grab this no it's a mice in there we got well what is this is this Oh, that's liquid IV that'll make you healthy in between. Oh, yeah. Yeah? Will you go get that from the, look at Fancy's going? Thank you so much. Are you limping still? Is your foot still bad?

Yeah. What'd you do? I hit him with my car. I have a bad knee. What hat? Why? I don't know. I think, I mean, I just heard it over the years, and now it's, like when I drive, when I drive,

and I hit the gas pedal of the brake, I get pains shooting up and down my leg. Getting a bad knee is such a, it's a thing that, like an old, old white guy would have. I hate it because, like, I like, you know, I like moving around. Yeah. And now I'm like, I'm limited to certain movements. What are you doing to fix it?

Nothing? Yeah. My first thought was don't do anything. Yeah. And see if it just fixes itself. It should level itself out. Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. Yeah.

Take it easy. I will say that over time, any, most, you know, until I, until it doesn't work. Say it. Until it doesn't. Thank you so much. No, it's OLA. It's OLA. until it doesn't work you know um most times you just like wait and then it's it goes away yeah

a physical therapy can help but that seems like cockamamie me that's a lot of just that's a lot of time i don't have the time for that i do physical therapy once a week what do you do on what i just go hug this guy for an hour straight oh it's for him yeah kind of for both of us oh it's an emotional therapy for him yeah he tells me i'm a good boy yeah i hurt my back years ago and i just keep going and I have this fear if I stop it'll yeah I had I had hurt my back and I got a couple of epidurals love you know what it was great love it really worked stick that needle deep inside yeah and then all of a sudden it didn't hurt anymore and then it never came back I don't want to jinx it but yeah do you have sciatica I don't know I just I messed up my name it's just bad it sucks

no the back thing did it cause any sciatic nerve pain oh oh oh yeah I was getting a little bit it just I couldn't down in bed. That was bad. Yeah, especially with those sweatpants on that must have been tough. I didn't, at that point, I didn't. I just went, you know, bare naked, except for my shoulder heaters. Once again, you guys, that's the Marino Santino Shoulderheaters.com. Use the promo code, Ola, for 15% off, if you don't mind. Is bourbon your drink a choice? I like red wine. I like a cold beer, and I like whiskey. Give me a beer brand that you like.

Well, I drink my buddy and I, we were roommates in New York when I was telling you about the New York Knicks, and he started brewing beer in our apartment. Shut up, really? Yeah, and then he went on to become one of the biggest brewers in the country, and he does dogfish head. Have you ever had dogfish head? I love that stuff. Yeah. That's your buddy? That's my buddy, Sam Caligening.

Shut the fuck up. In fact, our band, David, and I are in a band. Yes. Called a middle-aged Dad Jam Band. We're going to Dogfish Head on the end of this month,

well, July 23rd of 24th, to go play at his brew pub. Is it in New York? It's in Rojobith, Delaware. Rehubith. Yeah. So we're going to go to Rojubith, and then we go up to,

we're going to play on Long Island, and we play Irving Plaza. Whoa. And then we go to Rhode Island and Connecticut, I think. Dogfish Head is your roommate. Yeah, that's my good. So you were drinking that as, In college, or I mean post-college, sorry.

He had a three-cake setup in our apartment, a two-cake set-up, three-kakes set up, where he would brew beer. And then when he got the money to get a place in Rojobith, me and my buddy, Joe La Trulio, we all went down there, and we painted his place, and we were helping him, like, fix up the restaurant. And then he became, you know. It's huge.

He's like the Elvis Presley of, like, of, like, craft brewery. beers. Like he's been around. He's like he just makes these, he does this incredible, he makes incredible product. He knows how to just do this self-promotion. He's just, and he's a cool guy. His like story is pretty amazing. Is he handsome? Yes. They always are. They're always handsome those guys. When we live together, he was like, you know, pursuing his modeling career. No joke. No joke. This is what happens. The guy who's handsome, you're like, and guess what? He bruises his own fucking beer. Yeah. I mean, it's like on a dating game show. It's like, a contestant for, it's a I brew my own beer. I'm also a model.

I'm friends of what will be extremely successful as actor and comedians and dignitaries. Anyway, huge hog, too. I think he does, actually. I know he does. There's no fucking way he doesn't. That guy has a massive donger. It's supposed to be. It's supposed to fucking meet.

I don't know for sure, but I did see him take a leak a couple of times. I was like, hey. Hey, look at that. Now, does that always drag like that on the floor? Or is that? I remember the first time I ever saw like another man's penis in public at a Chicago Bears trough piss like a trot

you know we used to have to pee in with the ice yeah oh yeah and I remember like looking across and being a young young lad and seeing a grown man with a very small penis and going I'm gonna be fine yeah like this is I was so scared to pee in that I remember as a kid my dad was like it's not a big deal

just don't you know one's going to be looking at your pee pee and yet everybody is yeah well especially one guy I was like eh I was like, eh, no, but I remember seeing another... And he works here, he was right out front, right?

Yeah. You hired him. Danny, get in here! He's our favorite. Coffee running. Yeah, let's go get coffee, Danny. His penis is still out. Jesus, God, well...

No, I remember seeing a grown man's penis that was small in public and thinking, fuck, all right, cool. They all come in different shapes and sizes, you know what I mean? And colors. That was new to me. I didn't know... Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, because mine and yours, totally different color. No, no, no. Yours is... I've seen. Oh. I subscribe to your only fans. Oh, okay.

Then you have seen. Yeah, I have. It's really good. It's a little bit overpriced, if I'm being honest. You're asking... You're paying for the inch. I know. Pay by the inch.

God damn it. Oh, you're right there. Camerino's only fans. Pay by the inch. Only one payment needed. Oh, dude. Promo code. Ola.

I had a girlfriend to buy and tell me. She goes, yeah, this guy. online was like, hey, I'll give you, it was like 10 grand or something, just for different pictures of your feet with different colors. What? Yeah, and I was like, do it. She's like, no, I'm not, that's not what I do.

I go, if someone wanted to offer me 10 grand to paint my, I'd paint my toenails a thousand colors, whatever they wanted. If you want to see my feet, I'll show you my feet for 10 grand. Wait, wait, wait, I'm lost. Somebody wanted to see your feet for it? Yeah, this, because now I'm in a second class. Yeah, I noticed. No, no, she, a girlfriend of mine,

was like, hey, this, a guy online hit her up. She's like a popular, she's not an influencer as a bad word, but she does something online. People see it, blah, blah, blah. A guy hits her up and is like, hey, you only fans? She's like, no. He's like, I'll give you 10 grand to like, let me see different colors of tones on your feet. She was like, I would never. I would do it now.

Yeah, you would do it, but nobody wants you to do it. Why not? Well, because you're a guy. You're saying I don't have nice feet? I love, hey, listen to me. Ken. I love your feet. Well, you have some of the best feet in Hollywood.

Why wouldn't anybody want to see my feet? I'm not saying that I don't want to. It's just that I don't know if a lot of people want to. Is that why no one wants to work with me right now? It's because of my feet. I'm not going to say it. Say it. People don't want to work with you because of your feet.

I knew it. And big long paws. What is this picture over here? You seem like you're crossing your eyes. Oh, that was. That was no, that was, no, yeah, yeah, I'm crossing my eyes. Yeah, what is that? That was at an event, and a photographer was taking professional pictures of me,

and I was very uncomfortable, and so I crossed my eyes in it. Do you get uncomfortable with photos in general? Brother, can't do it. Don't like to do it. Let's get a photo. Every time I get into a photo, like, have you worked on a smile? Do you ever work on a smile? You ready? Santino, over here.

wait that's what you said oh oh i thought that was i thought that was a bit but you know i'm going to you you're going to do it to me i thought you look in a different direction i thought that that was a bit like here say santino over here you say it to me first you say it to me first this is what i thought the bit was you look at me first say santino over here marino right so that's i thought the bill is okay so now call me so santino over here Awesome You look the other way Give me yours

You ready? Yeah Yeah Focus No, I got to fix my hair Ken Ken, Ken, Marino

Ken over here Ken That's great That's so good God you look good It's for me But every time I see it I'm like

I look like I look good That kind of turned me on No No no no no but I do anytime I smile for a picture with somebody

it's a little creepy if you're next to me because you hear me go that's like a murderer I have to put a little sound into it to make it otherwise it's this I can't even do it

like yeah I have to go like I'm laughing or something so it seems like it's I do the thing where if someone's with me and I'll keep tapping on their back oh God I keep tapping and silent. So most of the pictures, the person you're with is like,

What the God, man? This one? I try whenever I do public photos. If I have to do a photo, I try to get uncomfortable photos. I think it's funnier than me trying. Like, if I try to do the smile. Right. I try to do the uncomfortable one where I go like, like it's, yeah, I try to make them know.

And you don't regret the uncomfortable ones? Don't care. No one's hiring me. Because every time I do the uncomfortable ones, I'm like, God damn it, I feel weird. No. Because sometimes I'll go... What do you mean? That's so good.

That's who I love. That guy, I love that guy. That guy fucking scares me, dude. That guy scares the shit out of me. No, give me the... Here's why. I get it. I used to think, my mom's going to see this.

Like, the first time I went to a premiere, I'm like, my mother's going to be mad if I don't get... And then you look at the photo, and you're like, that doesn't look like me anyway. Like, it just never... You always look like a figure. You look like a Madam Tuss figure of yourself whenever you take professional nice photos. I don't, I hate, I just, I don't like still photos of myself.

I like when I'm moving around because then you get, uh, but as soon as you see a still photo, I'm like, ah, shit, that's what I look like. Candid is better. I don't like that shit. That's where my mom refuses, refuses to do like a setup photo. My mother's always like, just take a picture to people that are taking pictures and my dad can't stand it. Pose pictures suck. Drive me nuts.

I don't like it at all. Also, we used to have to do that because it took a long time for a photograph to happen. So they were like, stand still. Right, right, right, right. Okay, we don't have to do that anymore. We're digital. It can be moving, it can be free. You can take thousands of pictures and just pick the right one.

Just pick one. There's so many. I like now, because the youthful generation, like if a fan, if like a 22-year-old fan and a dude's like, go, take a photo to be mad. I'm like, yeah, you got it. They'll take a hundred of them. And I'm like, wow, then you get whatever you want. Pick whatever you want.

Yeah, and then I keep moving around until they get it, and I'll make fun of them. They'll get a couple of me going, how many photos do you have on your phone? 17,465. That view? Yeah. Let's actually look. Look at your phone. Let me see.

You've got to have more than me. Oh, yeah. Got to have more than me. Just based on popularity alone. Where does it say the... Where does it say the... Mm-hmm. Oh, recently saved, by the way.

Here, look at this. What's you recently saved? I want to show you. Check it out. Chest day, by the way. In case you want to do chest day. Save that video. Just if you want to go...

I take photos of like, oh, yeah, 15-minute workout. Okay, I'll take that. Never look at it again. Okay, wait, hold on. Let's see. The number has got to be in. Where do you put the number?

I go to library and I feel like it used to be at the top. So recently filter options? Filter. This is great for your show. Yeah, no, well, they like. The fans are going to love it. Hold on, let's see. Memories, people, pets, shared photos.

Here we go. Here we go. Wait, wait. Where did you go? Live photos? You could cut this shit out. No, no, leave it in. What do you mean?

This is fantastic. How come we can't get an actual number on any of these? I thought it said. Oh, got it. Got it. Got it. Just go to library. Yeah.

Look up top. Library items. What's the number? No, I get library with library items. What are you talking about? Move it around there. Okay, now click, go to collections? Where's collections?

Whoa, what's going on? I don't know. Because mine at the top says... Well, collections, here we go. All right, now click library once at the bottom. It should work again. Nothing. It doesn't even say.

All right. That's too many. Mine says... Oh, this is why, Ken, this is why. Zoom in. Zoom in. Zoom in, and go to your... Okay, now go to your most recent photo.

Click... Click library again. Yeah, exactly. Jesus Christ. There you go. It should say it. Where? Mine says library item.

It doesn't. It says sinking paused. Oh, that's... Am I? Oh, because I'm on maybe... Oh, you know what it is? Airplane mode. Airplane mode. We're figuring it out.

Hold on. There. There is. 48,000. 48,737. Holy shit. Almost 50,000 photos. I'm 10,000. I'll never look at any of them.

I'm 10,000. I thought that was a bunch. How many you got, fans? I'm trying to figure this out. See, it's hard to figure out. We're not this. 70,000 photos. Ken, what could you possibly be doing?

What are you doing? Are you a spy? I am a spy. What's your other job? Well, a spy. Oh, I guess so. Why don't we want to, you want to, I do spy versus spy.

That'd be great. I would love to do spy versus spy. Are you a Mad Magazine fan? I collect Mad Magazine. I was when I was a Ute. I have a huge, when I was a Ute. When I was a Ute, two Uts. I have a large, very large

Mad Magazine collection. I did, I did enjoy individually bagged. Yes. So this is your, this is your, when you say I don't want for much, you do love this. What's, like if you paid a lot of money for some of these?

for Mad Magazine? I paid not that much. I had collected them over the years, and then I didn't pay that much for any, but there were a couple of like really early, early ones. Like I got a damaged number three that I paid a little money for. Do you have a number one?

I have a, I don't think I have a damage number one. No, I think the earliest one is like a damage number three. The irony would be that Mad Magazine, in perfect condition would be worth less money. It should be damaged. That's mad! Yeah, that's crazy. Alfred E. Newman, which I got called.

Actually, my biggest insult as a child was Opie Taylor. Yeah, from Andy Griffith. Yeah, Ron Howard. I went to... Any red-headed boy... About him especially, because black people in Chicago at my school would always go, and he'd go Opie, he'd go a little dumb-ass Opie. And I loved it.

Sure. I thought, here comes Opie! Specificity. I ran right into it. Here's Opie. Here I am. And they liked it. If I made fun of it, they liked it.

Of course. But Opie was... Do you think that's why you became a comedian? Because you discovered... I think partially that's why I got into comedy. You got picked on as a little lad? Yeah. I mean, throughout my...

At times, I would get picked on in junior high and high school. What was the insult? What was the reason for the picking? The... Well, there were two junior highs. And so if you were from one junior high and somebody from the other junior high didn't like you, they would come after you.

And I was from the junior high on the wrong side of the tracks. So like the, you know, the fancier, wealthier kids, you know, if they didn't like me, they would make fun of me. Just like the bad news bears? Yeah, sort of like the bad news.

Basically, yeah. But your, your, your, your idea to exercise your gift came, you think, partially from this, or was it all, as a young kid, were you always like, I kind of like entertaining for people? Well, just going back to the other thing, I, you know, I did get that, I got the bug early on, and then for whatever reason, everything that transpired afterwards kept leading me down that path. So there were always people who were pushing me in that direction.

Do you have people supporting you and pushing, interesting. I'm on an island alone. So wait, so you said. My mom sends me a text every day, quit. No, that's not true. Quit. That's not true. She spells it wrong.

She says, quiet. Maybe she's just telling me to be quiet. Quiet. No, I do. My, no, they're very supportive because they don't understand it. So they're very like, go do it. So they're very supportive. Oh, my God, yeah.

But throughout your early career, did you find that you found people who would continue to push you in that direction or try to dissuade you from like? No one ever dissuaded me because it was, to be very honest, you're an intellect. I was never a smart guy. I was like a dumbo and they were like... You think I'm an intellect? That's very kind of you. Well, I mean you went to a prestigious university, right? For acting. So what? Brother, I went to Arizona State and I barely got through.

Yeah, I went there for... I acted like a student. I did a very good job and I would go to class and I would go, classmates, and I would leave. But I don't remember any classes I took other than the acting classes. And really, I remember the acting classes because that's what I wanted to do. And I remembered the state. because that's where I met them there.

Yeah. So, but everything else, I don't recall. You met Wayne in school, David Wayne in school. David Wayne and, uh, David Wayne and Craig Wedron, who scores all of our stuff and is a musician. He was in Shutter to Think and he's an incredible musician and scores any movie that David does and I do and he's an incredible person. I met the both of them day one, my first day of college. So don't you think? And yes, it's a little bit of whiskey.

Don't you think this was supposed to happen? What? Us being here? You and I? Just you guys making it together. It's almost like the universe was like, I'm going to make this. Look, the luck I had meeting David and Craig, and then a year later, meeting everybody in the state and becoming a group, you know, becoming a member of that group, which was Tom Lennon, Michael Ian Black. Carrie Kenny.

Joe LaTrulyo. Carrie Kenny, Michael Patrick Chan, David Wayne, Michael Schoalter, and Kevin Allison, and Todd Hollebeck. Like 11 people who are, like, most of those people are still here creating stuff and we're creating stuff together and separately. And like, I don't even know what to say about that. It's insane. annoyingly I feel like sometimes the universe is like watch this like I think it's like it's weird it's weird that we

it's weird that we all got together and that we're all like here doing our shit 30 years later yeah I mean I feel like it's something I don't like the word luck because I think luck is a but it is luck no I don't think so what would you I don't believe in luck I had a very a much smarter man one time my

my buddy's father who's a very brilliant guy he was a he was a programmer and he was like I got my first sitcom and I was having dinner at their house and he was like, how great, huh? And I go, lucky dude. He's like, no, man. I was like, what? He's like, luck is a, that's a lie.

He's like, the lottery is luck, because you have no influence on it whatsoever. This is just kind of a gift from the universe if it happens. He's like, you did a lot of stuff to get the thing to happen. So fortunate, for sure. It's interesting, but I mean, luck has, but you could, you could do a lot of stuff to put yourself in a position. You still need some luck.

Well, then what is, then what is, What is winning a lottery ticket? You have to buy it, right? Yeah, but almost no effort on your own. But you have to do something. You have to be proactively have to do something. Kind of. And put yourself in a situation where then if luck happens, then...

But buying a lottery ticket is so different than you creating. Sure, I was just going with you said... I know, but I think it's just like that gap is so big of like... So what are you saying? So if it's not luck, what is it? Something, man. Something in the universe is. Well, put a name to it.

Uh, Yahweh. Now you need to define that. Now I think sometimes the universe wants something to happen. I don't know why. So what did the universe want to happen with the state? You become a successful, cult, beautiful moment in time for culture and comedy, and then grow you guys outside of that. It was almost like it was supposed to be. That's what I mean. Like it's like, you met the dogfish head kid. It was like it was supposed to be your roommate. Right. Because not everyone gets the dogfish.

My roommate had gout. Right. You know what I'm saying? It's like not everyone's going to get this same. I just feel like sometimes the universe does these things to you, whether you deserve them or not, and it just puts things in position to be a beautiful life story. And I don't think it's luck. I just think it's something. I don't know.

I don't know what it is. What do you believe? I don't know. What is your... Are you a religious person? I don't like, no, I don't like the word religion. Are you a spiritual person? Yes, spiritual, yeah, I'd rather say that.

So what does that mean to you? I just think that not everything's going to have an explanation, but I, but for the things that are so powerful or inexplainable, that's what I mean, that something had something to do with something, that I don't, I couldn't even pinpoint. A greater being, like something outside of us? I don't want to pin it to like a guy in the sky. No, no, no. But I mean, like, something wanted this to happen. Why can't we just put the name Luck to it? I hate that word.

Johnny Luck. Because I'm Irish, and it's offensive to us. Oh, I see. I get it. Oh, the luck of the Irish. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. The luck of the Irish? So you're Irish and Italian. Yeah.

So who is Italian? Hey, put them up. I see the little green guy. Hey, what's the matter of you? Hey, go. Oh, that's so dumb. Wait, so. All right.

My mother's Irish. My mom is a little leprechaun woman. Oh, she really is. Yes, yeah, we got one. We caught her. Is she digging into that little pot of gold? She won't give us that fucking pot of gold. We don't know why the potter gold.

All right then, lad. Where's the potter gold? Oh, yeah. I just think luck, the luck word, it always made me, I, like, scoffed at it because I was like, yeah. luck is a thing that exists, but you didn't get lucky. Look, whatever it was, I'm thrilled to be a part of it. You're too hot to be lucky.

Hot people don't get lucky, pal. Smile, do your smile right in the camera. Wait. No, I just think I can't, yeah, I can't pin it. I don't know what it is. So you were, you, you, you, you, You're familiar with the state. You know those guys.

Yeah, I want it. Have you had anybody else from the state on the show? No, they were all refused. You were the only one. That's not true. No, no. No, I have it. You know, also...

I was intimidated to come on to the show. You're a liar, dude. Well, can I tell you something? This is one of the best episodes we've done in a long, long time. That's not true. It is. The chemistry is... The rhythm is great.

Come on. Anytime I get with a... Anytime I get with someone with either a comedic sketch or improvisational background at all, It always feels like it's like we grew up together or something. That's my favorite, by the way. And I was, I don't know who I was talking to about this, but like, you know how you have friends who you maybe haven't seen in a long time, but you connected with them and then you cross paths with them again. And it's like, you saw them yesterday.

Yeah. You just start bantering and just joking around about stuff. That's my favorite type of, you know, connection. and it's wonderful to, you know, kind of meet you and talk to you because it seems like you desire that as well, which is that sort of just, you know, an easy conversation, you joke about stuff, you go in different directions, it doesn't matter where it goes, you come back to it.

You know, it's your show so you know when to bring it back, and it's delightful. So, you know, but I was intimidated to come on your show because I didn't know you. Yeah. I think you're very smart and funny. and very quick. And so I didn't want to, I guess I let you down,

but I didn't want to embarrass your show or do something. Come on. No. So I appreciate it. And I think pumping whiskey into me probably was some helpful, yeah. Every time.

And also made it a little sloppy for me. No, but it's good. Is it, though? Well, are your kids going to watch? Yeah, we didn't say anything too bad, did we? Do I get to say, hey, you know, take that out? No. Soft cut to us saying a compilation of all the bad things that we said, please.

Oh, no. No, you're right. It is a thing, like my wife says to me all the time with friends. She goes, if you met him today, would you still be friends with him? She says that often about friends from guys from home. You know, and I'm like, ah, he's a guy from home. And she always says, would you be friends with them today if you met him today? And almost all of them, I'm like, yep.

There's rarely a guy, unless I've kind of fallen out with him and we just go different. paths in life. But do you, do you, I don't mean to interrupt. No, I'm going nowhere. Do you, do you reach out to those people that you have that connection with? Or do you just wait for them to sort of like, you know, kind of fall back into your life? A few of them I connect with very often. And then some of them, we kind of, we kind of see each other, or talk intermittently, but like, well, my buddy Baldino's coming out here in a couple of weeks to stay at the house. And it's like, we often. But you think about them from time to time. Do you ever, like, reach out and just be like, I'm just going to hit them up with just something to let them know I'm thinking of them? Oh, yeah. Or do you let it just happen? No, I love

them a call. I'm a big call guy. People don't like it. I'm in the car. I'm giving you a call. Yeah, I like a good conversation. I'm going to give you a call. It's really fun. Especially if I'm like, God, I got a pretty big drive ahead. I'll call Marino real fast. It'll be 35 minutes. Well, look, you know, I know we've just really sort of gotten to know each other a little bit more in this meeting. But, you know, if you're ever on a long drive

and you want to call. I'm not kidding. I'd like a good conversation. You say that. I don't like, and I also like a good message. A voice message or a type of? No, not a type of fucking message.

I like a voice message. Yeah. Ken. Hey, man. The longer it is, the better. The more meandering it is, the better. I would call, I'd call Joe La Truglio a number of times. throughout the years and I just start I just laugh for a while like for a good like four or five minutes

you know and and ride the waves of wherever that takes me and it's some of my favorite things to do you know my favorite and buddy you know you can leave FaceTime videos yeah recorded videos he he made it it was very deliberate it's very smart he looked like he didn't know that the face time was rolling and so he put the FaceTime down and he's like talking driving and talking I'm gonna steal that. Oh, it's so funny. I'm definitely gonna steal that. He's like, oh, fuck you!

And the face, the phone's looking up, like he has no idea. It's still there. That's great because, because of course the person's gonna watch and be like, oh, what are they going to say next? And then like, three minutes into it to be like, hey man. He picked it up, he goes, fuck you, bye. And I was like, oh. That's so good. I'm thinking I'm going to catch him in the middle.

I'm like, oh, what is he doing? Is he? That's great. Yeah, I know. But he got me this motherfucker. I watched the whole thing. It was probably three minutes. I mean, like, you, fuck.

I'm staring and going, where's he gone? Where's he headed? What's he going to say? I'm trying to figure out. What's he going to say if he gets cut off? I'm excited to watch that. I'm going to call you, though. I promise I'm going to call you.

Great. Great. And if you'd like every phone call, I'll give you a call. I do love a phone call. I say that all the time. Wouldn't it be great if you were like, no, that's all right. Yeah. I'd rather you not.

No, thanks, man. This is my talk show. Who do you? Who do you call when you're in need of like a big pump-up? Whether it's like a laugh or like a just like a good change your mood. Again, I'm very lucky to have that whole state group, right? So like, you know, I mean, you call Tom Lennon, he'll do, you know, five minutes of new material. You know, like you call Joe La Trulio and he'll go wherever you're going and support whatever bit you're doing.

You know, David, Craig Wedron, who I talked about, my buddy Sam Caligone is a delight to call. Are these weekly calls or is just like once in a great while? It depends. I mean, it really, you know, like sometimes you want to talk to people. Sometimes you're feeling, I don't know, is it lonely? You just want you want a connection, right? Yeah. And so I will say this.

A lot of times I will, when on a long drive, go down the list, you know, of like the people I just want to like make sure that they know I'm thinking about them. Yeah. Right. and so I'll like, you know, do four, five, six of them, you know what I mean? This is a bit, though, in my mind. I'm like you going through the miss calls and you're like, not him. I'm like going to the names in your miss call log and you're like, I'm not going to call that guy. I don't want to listen to that.

Delete. No, no, it's, you know, it's, so it's, it varies. You know, sometimes when you're feeling like you need to connect. Yeah. Because I ask this, I'm curious what you think about this. and maybe this is a dumb question, but why do you think we learn to speak? Too many? I mean beyond nonverbal communication?

Yeah. At a certain point, we were like grunting, right? And then we learned a language. I'd love to go back to grunting. It would be great, but we can't. So why did we learn? Can't we? Well, I guess, huh.

Why do we, I think because the noises couldn't really express how we feel, and language expressed how we felt. Okay, so express how we felt. Why? Because we're the only species that needs to have a deeper connection other than food and mating. With other people? Yeah. So to let us know we're not alone. Yeah.

So we don't feel like we might die soon. I feel like if you're just alone, you die. Unless you're on the show alone on HBO, which is great. And they do survive for a long time. They just survive. And then at a certain point they're like, I can't take it anymore. Let me off this island. My foot is bloating up.

I don't know what's going on. Why do you think? You think it's just because that, right? Because we need to... We need connection. We need to know that we're not alone. I think that's what I think it is. Even if we are with millions of people,

you're like, I feel really lonely. You feel lonely. Yeah, that's crazy. Because that's just more, like, you know, most people walking by you are just props. Bodies. They're bodies. They're moving...

Background. They're background. They're trees. It's just a living thing that you have no connection with. Yeah. Right? So to then, you know,

reach out to the people who have touched you in the past or just people that, you know, you have, you know, warm feelings for to hear their voice and to hear their thoughts makes you know that you're not alone. And that's important, right? That's huge. Yeah. And so, you know, friendships with people and, and long-term friendships are super, super important. Well, you made a new friend today. Well, I know you're being corny, but I hope that's true. I'm not. I'm being genuine. Ah, you were. But that's all right. That's I'm being genuine. How about this?

I'll be vulnerable. I just made a new friend. And we both admitted to each other that we were like, you know, we're both men, grown men. He's got family kids, you know,

and I was like, it's kind of cool that we can admit we're like new friends. He was like, isn't that kind of a fucking relief? It's nice. I went to, I flew to San Francisco to see the guy.

Wait, so wait, I thought you were talking about us, but now who are you talking about? No, I said, I made a new friend. Yeah.

And we admitted to each other. Yeah. And I was like, it is cool to admit it. That's why I said to you, I'm being joint, I'm not being coy. I'm admitting to you, vulnerable, new friend. I'm accepting it. Okay.

I'm absorbing it. I'm taking it in. I'm happy to hear it. And the feeling is mutual. I told you. You owe me 100 bucks? Wait, you bet against me, you son of a bitch. Ola!

I mean, damn it! I mean, damn you! No, I think it's hard to make new friends as grown men for some reason. we do this thing we're like well that's the thing what is that what is that i don't know because we're just but there's a whole thing of like men can't be friends with each other and like it's like what is i think after a certain age two people have families and kids and so you go ah you know i'm a childless goon you know my wife and i it's just us so it is often i meet people and i go he's got a fucking family's busy he's got kids he's got you know we do you like eating do you like

food you like going out to restaurants not anymore yeah i haven't eaten in years you haven't eaten in years You look great. Thank you. No, do you like going out, like, if I called you and said, hey, last minute and been like, I'm going to go to Korean barbecue with a couple of friends. You want to come? Chosanggobie. I'll be there in 20 seconds. Oh, baby.

Meet me there. We're going to exchange. Because, you know, my best friend is Korean, and that's the one thing that we do the best is Korean barbecue. So I'll take you some secret spots if you're big into Korean barbecue. Yeah. I'll take you to the ones where you have to speak Korean to get in. Great. And I have to show them my phone.

I make him type it in my phone what we're supposed to know. Love it. And I show it to them, and then they go this way. Great. And they show us the way. Let's go. I've done it where I'm like, you know I'm friends of Bobby, right? And they're like, yeah, we know who you are.

Come on. Let's go. Okay, good. Oh, my God. We're doing it. We're going to do it. I'm down. I'm 100% down.

If you guys see both of our marriages broken up because we're both in love with each other, that's what happened today on the show. Before I let you go, I know, I don't want to peel off too much of your time. but um blossoming of a new friendship I appreciate you coming on the show um please go see the movie right now

Gail Dautry and the Celebrity Sex Pass It's out now It's out now and if it If this comes out when I think it comes out Yeah enough people are going to see the Odyssey Don't worry about it The Odyssey will be fine

You know what I mean I don't think it's going to be I don't think it's going to be that good You don't? I don't Too did it That is a very old story. It's been around for a long time. Please go see that right now. I appreciate you dearly.

This meant a lot to me. You look into that camera and you say one word or one phrase to end the episode. That's what we do. We say a word or a phrase to wrap it up. Doesn't have to be anything profound. It could be. It could be a word of wisdom. It could be a word. That means nothing. But will you do me a favor? We've never done this. Will you turn? Give a face look and then say the word or phrase. Okay. Okay. No sudden movements. In here, we pour whisks, whisk, whisk, whisk, whisk. You were that creature in the ginger beard.

Sturdy and ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Ginger's a fugitive. You only $5 for the whisked horse. Ginger's our hell now. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers.