Whiskey Ginger with Andrew Santino - Kumail Nanjiani

Episode Date: September 6, 2024

Kumail Nanjiani is a versatile actor, comedian, and writer known for blending sharp wit with heartfelt storytelling. From his breakout role in "Silicon Valley" to his Oscar-nominated screenplay for "The Big Sick," Kumail has consistently pushed boundaries in comedy and drama. His dedication to representation and authentic narratives shines through in every project, making him a trailblazer in Hollywood. With a knack for turning real-life experiences into compelling and relatable art, Kumail continues to redefine what it means to be a modern-day entertainer. #kumailnanjiani #whiskeyginger #podcast #andrewsantino =========================================== Sponsor Whiskey Ginger: https://public.liveread.io/media-kit/whiskeyginger SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS SQUARESPACE Get that site up and running now! 10% off your order https://squarespace.com/whiskey DRAFTKINGS SPORTBOOK PROMO CODE: WHISKEY Earn Up To $250 In Free Bets! THESIS SAVE $60 OFF YOUR 1ST SUBSCRIPTION PROMO CODE: WHISKEY https://takethesis.com ======================================= Follow Andrew Santino: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ https://twitter.com/CheetoSantino Follow Whiskey Ginger: https://www.instagram.com/whiskeyging... https://twitter.com/whiskeyginger_ Produced and edited by Joe Faria IG: @itsjoefaria Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What up, Wichita Jinger fans? Welcome back to the show. It's the first time you're on the show. Welcome to the show. We got a good one for you today, like with man Steve Harvey. Don't say it's Kumail Nanjiani. What a name you could yell from the rafters, eh? He's on tour. I'm on tour. AndrewSantino.com is where you're gonna get those tickets, ladies and gents. Folks of all kinds, come see me.

I'm all over the place. I'm in Indiana. I'm in Ohio. I'm in Michigan. I'm in Ohio. I'm in Michigan. I'm in Illinois. I'm in California. I'm in, uh, where? Everywhere. I'm all over the place. I'm doing 26 cities and we're adding shows and adding cities as we go. Go to andrewsantino.com for those tickets. Andrewsantino.com. In here we pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey. You are that creature in the ginger beard. Sturdy and ginger. Like that.

The ginger gene is a curse. Ginges are beautiful. You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse. Ginges are hell no. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Whiskey Ginger. My guest today is one of my favorite people on Earth. I say that for all my guests, but I mean it once again.

Today, it is Kumail Nanjiani. Man, you could have been an MMA fighter with that name. Yeah, but not with anything else that's about me. Well, body. No, not really. Strength. These are useless. You think those muscles are all for show?

They're decorative. They're like beach muscles. Those are beach muscles? They don't do anything, yeah. It's kind of like some of the tchotchkes my wife buys for some of the tables in our hallway. Like little shelves and stuff? What is that for?

What is all that stuff? No, it's pointless. You have all this crap, right, in your house? That's what this is. That's what that is. We do have a bunch of crap in our house. We have like weird round discs made of stone. We have those.

And paintings on them. We have those. What is that for? Well, our interior decorator showed them to us and we were like, how much are they? And she said, and they were so expensive. We're like, no. And she's like, they're actually

from a very important artist. Oh my God. And that sinks you. You're like, I guess. Okay, if it's an important artist. Yeah, God, and that sinks you, you're like I guess. Okay, if it's an important artist. Yeah, yeah. Well she would do this thing, you know, where she'd be like, which of these pillows do you like?

And you'd be like, I guess I like that one. And then she's like, okay, so these are 200 and this is 5,000. It's like, well, tell us that. I don't like it that much more. Lead with that part. Yeah. Also those are pillows you probably will never use. No. They just sit there on the thing. Yeah. Also those are pillows you probably will never use. No.

They just sit there on the thing. Yeah. That was a big point of contention when we moved and McCone helped me move and we had a new couch and we had a whole new couch because the other couch of the house didn't fit in this house. So we move, we get the couch and then she's like,

I want these pillows, this is what she tells my wife, I want these pillows to be accent pillows depending on what kind of flower arrangements you have in the kitchen that day. And I was like. So change the accent pillows. That's not even, that would never exist in my house. Do you have different flower arrangements?

No, she goes, every week go to Trader Joe's, they have a great collection of flowers, which they do by the way, for the record. Trader Joe's has a great, when you walk in, you see the flowers right when you walk in. You a big flower guy? You know me, Kumail, you know me for too long, I'm a flower guy.

No, but it's just like, it's such a beautiful, and it is- You do smell nice. Oh, thank you. But I wish I could get into it. My wife, same way, she's like, I don't have the time of day to do that. No.

But the woman's like, just grab something when you go to Trader Joe's, when you're grabbing something, groceries. It does make sense. It does, it's nice to have flowers. It is nice. Well, you know what we do now We go She gets eucalyptus And we put it in the shower You know who got me into this? Jermaine Fowler

Really? Jermaine Fowler says he'll go to get when we were in Australia He get eucalyptus and he puts it in like a, just like a vase or a bowl. Yeah. And you put it where like the water like spritz it maybe off your back. It smells so good. I'm a big smells guy. Me too. When I go to a farmer's market, I'm picking up whatever weird soaps that that lady has

made. That soap lady. I cannot imagine it's actually doing any cleaning. No, no, no, no. It smells good. There's like chunks in there. There's like little Fennel seeds it should not be clogging up my shower drain The problem is have you tried a shower bomb? You know what that is? Just no, I know a bath bomb

Yeah, so a shower bomb is like it's like a ball of some sort of soap thing and you have a little Chemicals you put it but they're not strong enough because you put them on the floor the're supposed to... Chemicals. Chemicals. But they're not strong enough because you put them on the floor, the water's supposed to like fill up the whole thing. Technology just ain't there yet. We can't do it. We're not there. It just melts slowly and you gotta like with your foot shove it down the drain.

You have to push it up. I get really excited about it and it just, shower bombs don't work. But I like, you know, if I go to a mall, I love going to malls. I go into a Yankee Cand love going to malls. I go into a Yankee candle store. I'll spend 20, 30 minutes in there just smelling whatever they've come up with. You're a Yankee boy. Well, they're like...

I didn't see you as a Yankee doodle dandy. They're apple candles. The apple one does smell good. It smells like an apple. That's why they put it by the front. That's always a big seller. They really figured out the apple. Yeah. Everything else, they're like, I don't know, this one's called like cotton mornings.

I don't know what that is. It is. It's like sweet linen or fresh linen cotton morning. There's always like a Cape Cod beach house. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Very smart. They're actually very smart.

They know what they're doing. I wish I could get into flower. I wish I could just grab flowers when I go to Trader Joe's, when I go to pick up something from my wife to have new ones at the house. I don't feel like it. Because it's a thing, it's also, they die so fast. They're hard to transport.

They're not like, you can't just like shove them in a thing. They require their own, you can't put it in a receptacle. I have to drive and hold the bouquet because I don't want it to smash in my seat. Why don't you just hold it out the window, buddy? Yeah, that's right. It's really easy. Well, that's what my dog, I hold my dog out.

Do you guys have dogs? We have one cat. Okay, same thing. Yeah, same thing. Just different. Same but different. Same but totally different. How long have you had your dog?

She's going to be seven, which is so funny because just the other day in the neighborhood, a similar size dog, medium size dog, you know, is very like, very, very like slowly walking up to my dog. And my dog is a lunatic. He knows she's like, chaotically fun. She loves people. She could be stolen so easily. She could go with anybody. If somebody was like, come here, she's gone. And she goes up to this dog and she loves people. She loves dogs. She's obsessed with other dogs. She can't, she's like got this smile all the time when she sees other dogs.

And the woman goes, how old is your dog? Is she a little puppy? And I go, she's seven. She's almost seven. And she was like, oh my God. Yeah, that's not a good reaction. Yeah, well, and I was like, wow, she's just excited. Yeah.

But she is, her energy is that of a puppy, but people are shocked when she's, because she is a little too, she's just excited yeah but she is her energy is that of a puppy but people are shocked when she's because she is a little too she's fun she's part she's a party dog she's a party dog yeah she likes it she doesn't hide she likes to be out in public so hard on her sleeve she likes to show off yeah your cat hides my cat my cat it doesn't really hide no is out no my cats out in the all my cat's out and about. All my friends with cats, they hide. They're hidden when I go over their house.

No, my cat's out and about. She's a pretty social cat. Do we have her name? Yeah, Bagel. Oh, what a name. I don't want human names for animals. Give me things I can eat or items I like. Interesting.

The eat part I don't get, but yeah, I understand. The what part? The eat part. Just say stuff I like. Yeah. Yeah. Food, you're not gonna name it. Croissant, like a cat.

Oh, croissant the cat is nice. Yeah. Foie gras the cat. Come foie gras. Weird. Name a duck foie gras? That's so mean. Is that how you say it?

Foie gras? Foie gras. Foie gras? Well, I think it's frogois. Frogois. I struggle with it. Have you had it? It's repulsive. I struggle with frogwa. We had it in France one time and I was like, this is disgusting.

I don't know. And then when you learn how they make it, you're like, hmm. It's just. It's repulsive. It's awful. I mean, listen, I'm a meat eater, I understand. I think being vegetarian is morally more defensible. I find ways to justify it to myself, but but that would the dude do to those fucking ducks.

It's insane. I don't know why I'm laughing. It's insane. It's like, it's not even, it's so gross it's funny where you're like, I can't believe this is real. It looks like, what was the movie, what was the Mike Judge movie about the future? Idiocracy. Yeah, Idiocracy.

It looks like an Idiocracy where you're like, they don't force feed the animals. Like, do they really? It's disgusting. And then it goes to like the fanciest restaurants. It's so awful. No, I had it once and then I was like, I don't even like the I did not like the flavor. I don't like the idea of it, I don't like the texture of it.

I'm a big texture guy. Like, what food can you not have because of the texture alone? Well, definitely that. I'm a big texture guy. Like what food can you not have because of the texture alone? Well definitely that. I also struggle with the texture of mushrooms. I think that texture, the guppy, gloopy, whatever soft, but you know whatever that is. Guppy, gloopy.

I don't got room in my life for that. It's like spongy. You're right though. It's a thing you had to get used to. I used to hate them, but then I learned to love the flavor of them. I like the flavor of them. So if they're in like a soup or something, the flavor they impart into the liquid is good.

Same with olives. I can't fuck with olives. Whoa, I love olives. Weird texture. What about tomato? Took me a while to bring tomato. I'm not there. Took me a long time. I still throw them away.

They make a sandwich real wet, you know? Yeah, soppy. I don't want soppy meat. I just don't like tomatoes because they look delicious and they taste bland. Yeah. There's not much there. There's not much there. I mean, and also, you know, you go to like Italian food, everything's too much tomato, like, vary it up, guys. Yeah, slow down on the tomato. Like, when the Italians discovered pasta, they were like, this is going to be all of our food That's it. It's just different of the same thing. Uh-huh. Yeah pizza is pasta They're like we'll just make we'll just make that also that it's all the same

I'm gonna say something and I have no idea if it's true Oh boy, here is it one of those things that pizza was invented somewhere else and then Italy took it I don't know. It sounds right He'll look it up, but it does sound This sounds like something I've also heard that later we go. Oh, that was a fun rumor that yeah We just believed for long enough Could you also look up if they got pasta from like The Chinese people because I think China with China noodles for sure was first this This Chinese civilization now outdates. Right. So if they got spaghetti, so they someone went over,

brought it back and it was like now all of our food is going to be this. Yeah. So modern pizza was invented in Naples, Italy in the 18th or 19th century. But pizza's history can go back even further to Egyptians, Romans and Greeks. Egyptians have been making pizza. You ever had yourself a good Egyptian pizza?

Huh? Very good. You never had an Egyptian pizza? No. What is that, pita? What is that? They pile the cheese and little pyramids up on the pizza. It's delicious. You never had that? Oh, they've got pyramids there, don't they?

Little Egyptian pizza? No, nothing could be where it's from, ever. Nothing is where it's from You know what? I have an idea for a show I want to do I want to do a travel food show because if you look at like, you know where I'm from Pakistan If you look at like if you go to like if you go east, you know, you go to China There's Chinese food, but Thai food is sort of like mixed between Indian food and Chinese right? And then you start going once you go into, like East Africa is a lot like Indian

food, like Sambusa is like samosa, which is what we have. And it's all because of the spice trade. And so I want to like travel that part of the world and trace the spice trade. Trace the spice. Trace the spice. Yeah. Which is a new show on cops. Yeah.

Trace the spice. Trace the spice. And just sort of seeps. Yeah, Trace the Spice. Trace the Spice. And just sort of see how the food moved around. That's very smart. I'll tell you where it definitely didn't go is Scotland. I just got back from there. Did you have haggis? Yeah. I had haggis.

They have no idea about flavor up there. It's remarkable. I do think fries with vinegar is a pretty good idea. Sure, but I think that's the Brits. Okay. I attribute that more to the Brits. All right. The Scots, it's remarkable how England, okay, England is right there, right?

Yes. And because of their history, not a so good, but they have a lot of good Indian food and variants of Indian flavors. Yes. How did it not get north? They're just, no. It just didn't go up. Yeah.

Because you go up there and you're like, hey, do you guys have any good Asian type spots or Indian spots or any? No, really? And you're like, nothing? Nothing. It's fish and chips or fish and chips? Yeah, it's fish and chips.

They love fish and chips. I know, but give me some, there's no way the locals aren't like, cause the young kids, you see young kids there. And when I travel, what always blows my mind is you see the youth and they look like the youth of America They culturally they have the same kind of like attitude and wear their clothing and you're like Don't they aren't they on the internet enough to be like hey we want we want some of the other shit now We want some of the other food. Yeah, we've discovered the whole world is a global economy Can we get some of the other cool shit that you guys have where in?

Scotland were you all over the place, but Northeast you know I played st. Andrews golf course And then I went all over the place like for vacation Yeah, with somebody's yeah, we just did like a little boys little boys trip Little boys get away for golf for golf. Yeah golfer big big big big yeah We have to have hobbies. Who do you play with? Yeah, we do. We have to have hobbies. Emily's always like, you gotta get a hobby. She's trying to get me into like pottery.

No, no, no, no. That's Seth Rogen's thing. That's a big barrier for entry. But Seth does that. Once a celebrity does something and it becomes kind of a new thing for them, another celebrity like you can't do that. Well, I don't wanna be like known for that.

I would just do it and not try and compete with that. You wouldn't show it on the internet? No, I wouldn't. I mean, how would I not show it on the internet? That's what I mean. The moment you did, they'd be like, Rogan does this. And he's got a company now based on it.

He does. Yeah, he makes weird stuff. I have some of that stuff, yeah. You do? His vases and stuff? Yeah. He makes good stuff. Yeah.

It's actually pretty surprising. Yeah. What he was saying that he talks to like real like professional potter people and they say they like his stuff because he doesn't go in with any sort of preconceived notions about what a pot should look like. Yeah right. They have a very... it's almost like they went to film school, pottery school. It's like that it in the news is making party from his dick you know right that's where it comes from that's truly where it comes from yet have you ever seen that pottery show on netflix called

uh... uh... all high and i love it too now fortune fire not seen it there's a it's a pottery competition show on netflix degree party potter of chow throwdown no honestly dude go home and watch the pros one of my favorite thing i've ever seen it's a bunch of like

different variants of years of experience in the pottery world and they have the it's a great competition show like like like the great british bake off i love that show well this is the same to parallel potterie big problem with great british bake i'm gonna say it i'm gonna say that you don't we're gonna say it. I'm gonna say it if you don't. I'm gonna say it. Go ahead. The changing of the hosting too much.

Well, sure. Bothers me. Like, okay, here's the thing. If you're watching like Drag Race, you get to experience what they're good at. You're seeing them dance, right? If you watch Project Runway, you see the clothes. You get to experience that.

You don't get to taste the stuff on Great British Bake Off. Right. You just are like, I guess I'll take your word for it. I bet it's good, it looks good. Yeah, you can't really have an opinion on it beyond how it looks. This is actually a genius idea.

When the season drops, they send out little, yep. You know, I did befriend a couple of them online and they said they'd send me stuff and I just got scared giving them my address. Right. Well, give them a P.O. Box. Yeah, just let it sit there. Let it sit for a week. You're out of town. You're touring. When I come back, I will taste it, I promise. Are you touring right now?

I go back out here very soon in like a week. I go to Chicago. Where? Our beloved Chicago. No, I'm going home to throw out the first pitch and sing the seven inning stretch at the Cubs game against the Yankees. Wait, you're from Chicago? Yes, dude'm going home to throw out the first pitch and sing the 7-inning stretch at the Cubs game against the Yankees. Wait, you're from Chicago? Yes, dude. I started out here, though. That's why we never met back then.

When were you, when did you leave Chicago? When I was 18 for college. Oh, okay. And I never went home. So when you guys were Chicago guys, you know, Bronger, Yu, Kanane... Pete Holmes, Hannibal, T.J. Miller. Half of these guys aren't even from Chicago,

which is very funny to me. No, Hannibal is. Yes. But Pete Holmes moved there, T.J. moved there, I moved there, Kanaan's from there. Kanaan is, yeah. Braunger's from there. No, Braunger's from Portland.

Portland, yeah, that generation of Chicago guys, I all met when you guys were out here, because I moved here after school and I started here. It's a pretty crazy scene, like when I think of, like, that we were all doing open mics together so many people like doing great. Everyone you know is successful everyone from that crew. Well except for you don't know the names of the ones who aren't successful. And I don't want to. Yeah. I don't want to talk to them. Fuck them. They mean nothing. What are you doing? What are you performing in Chicago?

Well I'm not performing for a while. Oh, you're just doing that. I'm going home to see family and I'm doing the pitch, but I'm performing at the Chicago Theater January 11th. Chicago Theater. Wow, you just remember your dates, huh? Well, January 11th, it's Chicago Theater. The other ones I don't, I couldn't tell you what the other ones are. I'm going to record, so I, you know, I didn't do standup for like, I'd say 10 years, really

more like eight years. Yeah. And I'm touring again. I'm going to record my special next year in Chicago. At? I want, I know everyone does the Vic, but there's a reason they do the Vic. The Vic is like a great theater.

It's a phenomenal theater. Yeah. The other one we talked about at breakfast this morning was, uh, Talio Hall, which is in Pilsen. That's really cool. People like that. I think Kanaan did something there. Yeah, he did. I'm almost positive.

He did. Um, but yeah. I just love the Vic. I opened for Zach Alif and I kiss there in 2007 never heard of him, but was easy doing okay. That's a weird guy Yeah, the beards of yeah beardy beardy guy. It's just a wall of people. You know it's like it's very vertical Balconies are completely on top. So you're like an it's fantastic. It is a great venue. Have you played Chicago theater? I have not I Actually haven't done. I mean I haven't toured in so long. I haven't Headlined in Chicago ever well get ready bud

That's gonna. He gives a Chicago theater Like 2500 no no no no no no I'll tell you right now. Don't say it because I'll tell you right now, don't say it, because I'll tell you right now, it is 3604. Oh, big. 3604. Man, that's awesome. It is cool. I've got, this is my, this will be my fifth or sixth time doing it, the first time I did it,

I opened for Rogan years ago, and that was a big deal. And then the guy that worked there, who's no longer working there, which is so sad, he was like, you'll be back. You'll do this on your own someday and I was like, yeah, right Yeah, it was wild awesome. It was very cool. It was a very cool moment I was sitting back there and that they could tell I was a little emotional cuz I was like you don't know what this Means to me I came here as a kid to see shows You know like I think I saw Phantom of the Opera there when I was a kid with my grandmother And I was like Chicago theater was such a like,

I don't know, as a kid you're like, that's like a, that's where fancy professionals go. Right, yeah. To put on shows. It's like gods and goddesses get on stage. Right, and then I'm telling fart jokes for an hour. It's all fart stuff, it's a new tour. Are you crying really hard the whole time?

While I'm telling fart jokes? Yeah, because it means so much to you. It does. Finally. It does. How many dates are you doing? I'm doing like 15 cities this year and then probably another 10 next year

and then record it. Have you decided where the special will end up? Yes. Can we know or no? I mean, it's really not exciting. They haven't announced it, so I guess I shouldn't say. Are you doing? I'm doing Hulu. Okay? I'm doing Hulu.

Okay. I'm doing Hulu because. Me too. Oh, okay, great. Yeah, I'm doing Hulu. Netflix, you know, no knock, but they just, they offered to do another one with me, but Hulu was more enticing, I think,

and I talked to Burr about it and a few other guys. Yeah, he's doing Hulu, Gaffigan's doing Hulu. Gaffigan, Burr, Sebastian. Yeah. That would, to Stefano Roywood Jr. Roywood Jr. Yeah. Jessica Kiersten. Otzko.

Otzko, I mean, it's phenomenal. I was like, this is great. Like I just was enticed that they give you a whole month. Yeah, they give you a whole month. It's a month instead of Netflix is like, hey, Tuesday, and you're like, oh my God. And then on Thursday, they're like, it's a new guy coming out on Thursday too. And you're like, oh, a more famous guy

you put right after me? Oh, okay, well, thanks, I guess. They said they'll promote each one, so yeah, I'm going with them. Hell yeah, dude. So am I, I'm excited. I think it's good that the market's bigger than it ever was.

I mean, let me give some context. Oh, by the way, on the way in, I think it's good that the market's bigger than it ever was. I mean, let me give some context. Oh, by the way, on the way in, I think it's still up there, you should see, there is a old poster in the hallway of a show that we did many, many moons ago. Dave Clock, you know, Dave, remember Dave? Of course you know Dave Clock. Well, you don't have to get it now,

but he'll see it on the way out. But it's, I don't know what show it was. Not Meltdown. It wasn't a Meltdown show, I don't know what show it was. Not Meltdown. It wasn't a Meltdown show, I don't think. I think it was another show. I think it was at the Elysian. Oh, the Elysian, yeah. What was at the Elysian?

What show was there? I don't remember. Either way, the history we have, Kumail and I, Kumail has always been a wonderful guy beyond being a great comic, and I mean this, you've always been a great dude, and you haven't changed, except for your body. Everything else has been the same.

Your heart is still, well your heart's a little bit bigger, I would imagine, at this point. Yeah, it's working real hard. Yeah, it is. It's gotta work harder. I'm gonna die. Just more blood. More blood, that's all. But honestly, we met and you were doing Meltdown. Where did we meet Meltdown?

No, we met, actually we met the first time, this is such a blast from the past, we talked about this the other night with somebody, we met at, me and Brooks Wheeler were talking about it, we met at Gower Gulch Tigerlily. What's up Tigerlily? Was the first time I met you. Wow, those were like when I would visit LA,

that's the show I would do. Yeah, Tigerlily. When I moved here, I was, Monday nights. That was a big deal. Go to that show, yeah. I remember going in the back of that room and just hanging out sometimes if I was in Hollywood That's right, and it was like a I mean cuz Galifianakis would pop it people would pop in and and that was at the height That's when Zach was I Mean, you know as famous as he's ever been everybody would do that

It was so there'll be like 25 comics on that show. Yeah, but it was a great show Yeah, and the crowd would stay the whole night to be a three-hour show. Yeah, that's where we first met That's right. And then I would come around meltdown when you guys were doing meltdown stuff And yeah, you did our TV show. Yeah, that was fun. Yeah, it was wild You did that sketch that the audience did not know what to do And still to this day was it was the darkest, weirdest. You and Jamar neighbors. We still talk about it, Emily and I.

We're like, that's so intense. It was lunacy. It bombed in a way where we were loving it, but the crowd was like uncomfortable. And I don't even know if it's up anymore, but Comedy Central was like, I remember Jonas was like, it was weird, man. I was like, good, it was supposed to be weird.

That was the whole point, it was supposed to be this uncomfortable, weird, and Jamar was the one that was like, I wanna choke you out on stage. And I was like, okay. I can't say no. People who don't, I mean, so you play a cop and you're out there. Chicago cop, yeah.

Chicago cop, apologizing for like killing a black kid. And then Jamar's in the audience gets up and then he's got Skittles like Trayvon Martin. He loves Skittles. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Skittles and then he's upset and you guys get into a fight and what's really what, cause it wasn't really that rehearsed.

The fight kind of feels real and awkward. And the audience is silent. They don't know what to do. It was great. It's to watch two guys awkwardly wrestling on stage with a crowd that like does not know how to respond. They were very nervous. And this is fresh.

Like that Trayvon Martin stuff has just happened. Yeah, we hadn't rehearsed it. We didn't talk much about it. Jamar was like, we'll just do it. It'll be great. I trusted in Jamar, and I still do to this day, by the way, for the record. I trust Jamar neighbors with everything because he could also kill me. He could go toe-to-toe with you in the gym. That's probably the only guy that can live like you.

He's jacked. Yeah, he's absurd. I also think he has like kind of nothing to lose. I don't want to fight him. No, no. Yeah. You got to have something to lose. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got too much to live for. You have way too much to live for. I got my cat, I got my wife, I got...

Should've put the wife before the cat, but I do understand why you did that. That does happen sometimes. I got my cat, I got my wife. Well, I was thinking, like, if I'm gone, what's my cat gonna do? If I'm gone, my wife's gonna be fine. Did she love the cat as much as you do?

Yeah, cats are very important to us. I've never had a pet before and we don't have kids you know so I think it's the first time you feel like a new kind of love that's like oh this thing is completely dependent on me for survival. Yeah. So it's like a different thing and it's like very uncomplicated you know you don't have to like apologize to it or like. Although I do. Why do I do that? I talk to, so my wife's out of town right now, Emily's out of town. I talk to the cat constantly. I talk to my dog all day.

Morning to night I'm talking to her. It's really calming. I don't know, for some reason when I have conversations with my dog, like I apologize if I know I've been gone too long or something. Yeah, I apologize. Yeah, I go, sorry, sorry, babe, I'm sorry. And I know she's like, it's okay, but let's get back on the schedule.

Yeah. Like she's bummed, but she's also like, let's go back to where we're supposed to go back to. You just keep apologizing and doing it. That doesn't really count. It's funny how they're able to answer you without answering you. Yeah.

They're very good. She's very good at that. Very expressive. Yeah, well, my dog also at the end of the day, you know, when the, in the summer specifically, when the sun is behind the bushes and so it's not as hot in my backyard, she will, she'll hit your, hit your leg,

wherever you are, hit your leg with her nose, go to the back door and sit and just stare out the window until it's, you get the idea that it's like, come on, dude. All right. It's time to go outside. All right, all right, I guess, yeah. But if you take too long, she'll go up to you and she won't hit you again, she'll sit near you and go, huh, huh, huh. And it's like so, her levels of like,

she's like, I'm starting to get frustrated. Yeah. So let's either do it or I'm gonna start barking or being annoying. Like I could piss or poop on something, so you better speed it up. I've done it before, and you know I'll do it again. And I will piss or poop on something, so you better speed it up. I've done it before, you know I'll do it again.

Yeah, and I will do it again. Do you want it to happen right now? Your cat, but cats are so much more well behaved, your cat would never like piss on something or, no, never. No. My cat is very well behaved. They know. When we moved into our old house, this is wild.

He knows this, this is nuts. Our dog was digging like crazy under these bushes. And then when our friend's dogs would come over, they would dig under these bushes. And then one time, my dog came back with bones. And it was cat bones. They buried a cat. They buried all of their cats in my backyard.

There was like five cats. I'm not even, I'm not kidding. They buried all their cats in the backyard. And so we call... Are they just fully bones now? All bones, all bones. These people had lived there for 30 years, 30 some odd years, maybe more. Also there was, when we did move in, had to do a like a delousing project

because there was cat pee. Well, that cat pee smell is pretty hard to get out of. Well, it got to the wood and the wood floors. Horrible. Yeah, it was pretty wretched where there was a room where I was like, should we just light this room on fire? Yeah. Is there a way to do controlled burn of a house?

You know how they do it up in the canyons? Yeah. Can I control burn the front room of the home? Because it was disgusting. This is the new house? No, this is my old house. But they buried a bunch of cat bones. So then dogs would come over and just find cat bones.

And I was like, well, I'm not gonna dig it. I'm gonna let it happen organically because I can't like go digging for cat bones in my backyard. I think cats are cute. A cat's skull is not cute. It's horrific. It's honestly out of a horror story.

Have you seen pictures of like baby skulls with the teeth up there in their cheeks? No. No, thank you. You gotta see this. Bring it up. Look up baby skull teeth, cheeks. I don't know what else to say.

But you know, so the baby teeth, the normal teeth are up there. They're waiting. They're in here. They don't like get made. They show up with them. They're in the queue. And they're literally,. They show up with them. They're in the queue. And they're literally, literally in the queue. No!

Look at that. Oh my God, is that repulsive. Look at that. So that's their teeth out and then the next ones are like just up. Look at that. Take that away. So when you look at a gorgeous little baby,

just teeth all up here. Eye. Teeth to the eyes. Teeth all the way up to the eyes, man. Their cheeks, there's just teeth under there. You're shaking their tooth. Yeah. That's why babies pull away.

You're shaking on their tooth. That's my future tooth. That's my future tooth. Wow, that is, why do you know that? Why did you see that? I don't know, I'm on Reddit a lot. Yeah, are you a big digger? I mean, sort of.

Some people do it, they get into that, they just, they dive into Reddit for like hours and hours and hours. I don't do hours and hours. That's sort of pulled back on being online too much but I do like to look up like weird shit you know like I'll follow weird stuff give me something give me another weird thing like there's one that people I forget what it's called megalophobia people who are scared of big things so it's just pictures of like a massive ship with the person standing in front of it and that gives people panic a people makes people panic

Or there's tassel of phobia, which I think is fear of water So it'll be like someone in the middle of like a gigantic ocean like that kind of stuff Oh, the fear of water is pretty detrimental. It's tough to negotiate The fear of water is pretty detrimental. It's a tough thing to negotiate. It's like the aliens in science. I think big bodies of water. But does that creep you out a little bit? It kind of makes me feel something, yeah.

That's why I would never, you know, like a boats, boats if I can see the shore, fine. Boat go out real far? Boat go out real far. Andrew not on boat. Andrew not on boat. Andrew back on land. You know, I can't swim. Really? Wait, I don't know this.

You really can't swim? I know I can't. When I was a kid, one, we didn't have access to pools in Karachi, Pakistan all the time. No pools in Pakistan? I mean, we had pools, but you know, you had to like, I mean- It was very wealthy? Very few. Yeah. Like you had to go to like a sports club or so what about like? Rivers or swimming areas. There's nothing you nothing you swim. There's no like lakes or well

I live by the beach, but the water was pretty dirty you wouldn't go in that no I wouldn't it's melt yeah But I also had an ear problem until like my teens So I wasn't supposed to like put my head underwater. You had some kind of like canal disorder? I had something, I don't know. I got surgery for it. Oh, right. Yeah, don't look at my ears.

Well, I'm staring at it now. Stop it. Your ears do look like they're not submergable. Yeah. I wouldn't put those under. Yeah. Keep those above. These ears don't breathe underwater.

Stop looking at my ears, man. It's weird. Yeah, I wouldn't put those under. Yeah keep those of these ears don't breathe underwater Stop looking at my ears, man. It's uh Well, you can't swim though to this day, so I still don't know how to swim which is odd Your wife is an Olympic swimmer. Yeah, well she won bronze She still won. Yeah, but don't be so mean. I wanted the Olympics this year, by the way. You went to Paris Yeah, how amazing? Yeah Would you go see? Well, I saw the basketball finals with USA and France. Are you a basketball fan?

I don't know this to be true. I didn't know. NBA is your one? Yeah, I like NBA, yeah. Any other pro sports or no? Not really, I watch cricket. That's a pro sport. Cricket, yeah.

Cricket and basketball. That's from your youth, though. That's embedded in your DNA, right? Yeah DNA right yeah that is such a big deal over there cricket is huge we have we don't do anything about that well no people don't understand it actually do a bit about it where I talk about I love cricket because you know the rivalries are real like here you know like you're like oh Yankees and Red Sox, oh, like India and Pakistan have nuclear weapons

pointed at each other. Yeah, it's country war. Yeah, that's so funny. The stakes are very high. Well, cause the presidents will let go or whatever dignitaries will let go to those games cause you're representing. Yeah.

But that is, but the Premier League does that with soccer, which is daunting cause it's city versus city. But it's like the history of the cities, they hate each other so much. But do they hate each other independent of the sport? Yeah. Okay. It's something else going on. Yeah. I mean, yeah. And in this, because it's class stuff. It's all class stuff, which is like, you know, I think they're better than us. It's like that. It's always this like, it's always based on class, which you're right,

American sports has, it's just what area you were born in. And I find it so weird that players just get traded all the time. Well, that's a new world. I'm bummed about that too. Because when I was a kid, you could have a jersey of somebody. And then you have that jersey and it's not like, it doesn't go out of date.

Right, or you just could fall in love with a player who represented your city a little bit. Yeah. And you kind of like you own you you took ownership with them like yeah hey that's our guy. Yeah and now it doesn't exist. People jumping around all over the place. Did you like the the Olymp USA games the Olympic games with against France? It was the most energetic room I've been in ever in my life. Like that crowd was so fucking fired up. Oh yeah. I mean they really wanted to win and it wasn't really that close. I mean it's crazy you're sending like LeBron and Steph Curry and Steph Curry went nuts and I mean it was great. It was the weirdest thing when Steph, did you watch the game? Yeah. So he hit those

threes at the end. When he hit the first one, you could feel the energy in the room change and everyone was like, he's gonna hit every time. They knew it was coming. You just feel it. When he hits that first one, then each one's harder than the previous one.

Yeah, I know. As soon as he hit that first one at the end, people were like, oh, it's over now. Right. How does he, how does he do, I mean, that is remarkable what he can do. If you don't believe in God, whatever, a being, those things make you go, okay, something else gave him something. I don't know what it is. Maybe it's another

alien life force that gave it, but that is beyond work ethic, which he has in space, because my good friend EP runs his company, his entertainment division, so gave but that is why beyond work ethic which he has in space of course because my good friend EP runs his company his entertainment division so I've you know like seen kind of him for years and there's something else happening well it's got to be magic he's a magic man because that really it makes no sense he'll hit it over like seven foot tall guys it it really when you watch that or when like Kobe would get hot, you're like, something else is going on.

Yeah, something else is there. Work has to be there to a degree that's unfathomable to the average person. Which is why when any idiot says anything about anything, I'm always like, what are you talking about? Says anything about anything? In sports, when they're like, oh, how do you miss that shot? How could you ever even come close to doing anything near that? Exactly. You couldn't do anything, like, oh, how do you miss that shot? Like, how could you ever even come close

to doing anything near that? Exactly. You couldn't do anything. Like last night, we're at the bar, and we're at a trivia night with my cousin and some friends. And this guy says to me, I'm gonna run a marathon. I'm gonna run a marathon. I said, without training, I can finish it.

What? Exactly. But people have this idea that like sports are easy to do. I could just go run 26 miles. I'll just go run a marathon. And I said, no, I'll bet you a thousand dollars you can't finish a marathon without stopping. Taking a walk doesn't count. You can't stop.

I said, if you say you can run a whole marathon nonstop, thousand bucks. He's like, I'll do it, no training. I said, cannot wait to see it. How did he think he could do it? Alcohol, for sure. This is fueled by him having a drink. It's not one of those things that's harder than it looks.

It looks hard. Yeah, it absolutely looks as hard as it is. It's so hard. People are bleeding from their nipples and stuff. That's a tough sport. Do you have to bleed from your nipples? Another one that I got really into was archery in the Olympics.

Because, did you watch any archery? Yeah. So you need to put the... It needs to rest on your face. They put it on the face and then they all, at the podium and they all have a line on their face. And it hits your lip, they like put it in your lip. Yeah, they really go right into it.

I don't know, I've seen it in movies, they don't do that. I don't know why they're doing it. I think one guy was doing it and they're like, well, do that, it's the fucking Olympics. He is the best, yeah. But you know why they show their heart rate? You know, they show their heart rate, it'll be like 100 beats a minute,

because they're like, I'm in the fucking Olympics. Because they have to release the arrow in between the beats. So what they're doing when they have the thing on their face and they're just focusing, they're trying to get the own rhythm of their beat. Whoa. Because if they release on a beat, it's going to be, you're going to be a disgrace to your nation. Yeah. Wow. So you got to like, and think of it, a hundred beats a minute is like, so you got to like, you know, like gold medal loser. Like just da da da da da.

So that's what they're doing. The difference is this, gold medal loser. Oh my God. That's dark to think about. It's so, and then you know what they do those, where you have three people in a row have to do it and they each have like 45 seconds. Like they have a total of 45 seconds.

So when you're there doing it, trying to find your rhythm, you you're like I got to get it because there's two more people behind me I'm taking their time. Oh Man that gives me anxiety also you don't get to do this for another four years, right? No archery tournaments in between that anybody gives I'm sure we don't know about them They're in Des Moines, Iowa. They're all happening somewhere outside. Yeah, exactly. I couldn't name one archer. Gina Davis.

The actress? She was an Olympic archer. No way. I'm pretty sure that's true. He's Googling it right now. Gina Davis. How about our beloved shooter, though? This guy, this hand in the pocket,

single-handed shooter. The Turkish guy. I mean, one of the coolest guys that ever walked the Earth. Love that guy. I love how they interviewed him, and they're like, why don't you have any equipment? He's like, I don't need it. And everybody else is like, they look like Mortal Kombat.

They've got so many scopes and things, and wearing a special shirt, and then this guy is just hand in his pocket. Levi's on a T-shirt, and he's just popping off. Amazing, a T-shirt that just says Turkey on it. Turkey. She almost made it to the 2000 Olympics. Almost made it to the 2000 Olympics, wow. T-shirt and he's just popping off. Amazing. A T-shirt that just says Turkey on it. Turkey! She almost made it to the 2000 Olympics.

Almost made it to the 2000 Olympics. Wow. So Kumail's a liar. So Gina Davis. It is Gina Davis, right? She was like a good archer. In here, we pour whiskey. Hey, this episode of Whiskey Ginger is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is the place where you can

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Order at Take T-h-e-s-i-s dot com with promo code whiskey maximize your mind with thesis today Huge crush on her as a kid by the way huge crush my god a huge I was in love with her looking at her. I was so in her. What was it Beetlejuice? What was it for you? Yeah, Bealejuice? What was it for you? Yeah, Beetlejuice. Beetlejuice had that and Winona Ryder, you know? So like whichever way you wanna go, you're covered.

Winona Crush was from Scissorhands. Scissorhands. That was my, Edward Scissorhands was my Winona Crush. That is one of my favorite movies. Cause she's so like ethereal in that. She just feels fake. Like he did AI before AI was a real thing He made that movie look like it could have been compiled from AI. I was just watching Batman last night those movies

No, Batman, you know uno Batman one the best I think I like I like Batman returns even more but those two Batman movies are so Fucking good. Oh, yeah I'm gonna make a controversial statement here. Oh, I can't wait. I don't think we need to do the, when you're Batman you have to talk in a husky voice. You don't have to.

It sounds really stupid. You know you don't have to. I think Christian Bale started it and now it's become like an arms race between all of them to see who can go the huskiest. Who can go more? It always sounds a little stupid. Yeah, it does.

Don't do it. It was fine, Keaton wasn't doing it. Wait, did Clooney do it? No. I don't think Clooney did it. I think Christian Bale started it. He did, he was kind of the crust. One of the greatest actors of all time.

Started in Arms Race. They're all doing too much now. I watched the new Batman cartoon, which is really good. Is it? I'm a child at heart. Yeah. But when he's Batman, he's like, and also obviously why is he doing it when he's Batman, he's like

And also obviously why is he doing it when he's just talking to Alfred, you know Like I was like sir, could you drop the voice? I don't need the guttural grunting. I don't I think we can just go back to not doing that. I think it's because Keaton was so And how old are you again? You're 40. I'm 46. Right, so. How old are you? I'll be 41 in a month. So we're close in age where like that shaped my childhood,

Batman 1, so Keaton was Batman to me. Yeah. But the sound of his voice, I do think, is what they were imitating because he had very, like a very smooth, slow, low voice. Well, you could do that. Yeah, but I think that's. Talk a little differently as Batman.

You don't have to go all the way down here. But he talked the same whether he was Bruce Wayne or Batman, which is also other actors would go, well, you know, he should have turned into something. That's why I think they do that. They're like, I can fix this, watch this. Yeah, because Keaton was like, I'm gonna play this. He is the same man.

It's just, I get to transform. That was the beauty. And also, he really, something about Keaton is, when he is Bruce Wayne, he's so fucking unassuming. It's so weird how, you're like, man, this guy's good at being unassuming. He felt like a nobody, which, not to be a dick, but everyone thereafter, their Bruce Waynes were very bondish, almost like they were sexy.

Where Keaton's Bruce Wayne was like kind of a loser. Yeah, he's wearing turtlenecks, he's a weirdo. He's a weirdo, yeah. He was like a total weirdo. And when he would have parties, it was almost like he was embarrassed to be at his own house. Dude, I was watching the first one last night, he's at his party and nobody knows who he is.

I know, I love that. So Vicki Vail goes and she's like, do you know where Bruce Wayne is? And he's like, no. And then she walks away. I love that. That's what I liked about it. It almost was like he wanted to be an unknown,

which is why when he became known, he wanted to be unknown. Right. It was like that was the whole point of the movie. Batman became such a sexy character that I think they felt like you had to jazz it up, juice it up or something. And no hate on Bale. I mean, every actor who's played Batman is a phenomenal actor.

Like Robert Pattinson is one of the best actors. Christian Bale is an amazing actor. Val Kilmer. Val Kilmer, one of the best actors of all time, George Clooney. George Clooney. Every Batman has been a phenomenal actor. That's true.

But what Keaton did was weirder than everybody else. Even like Clooney's smooth, you know? Yeah. Keaton was not smooth. And that movie, it's so off-putting and weird. And you know know all the backgrounds of those matte paintings they like painted it. It looks so unreal.

That's why I like it. It looks and then Batman Returns is not even Batman's story. The Penguin is the lead of that movie. Yeah, DeVito is it. Yeah, DeVito is the lead of that movie and then there's a sequence where like you know he comes up and he's running from mayor and all this

and then he gets defeated because he on Mike secretly says like these idiots or whatever And then it's a scene of him in the sewers and there's an amphitheater of real penguins He's like giving him a really angry speech and all these penguins are standing there just listening to him It's such a strange movie. It's beautiful and he just has like black spit coming out of his mouth. The whole time he's drooling. Yeah, that's not part of Penguin. That was Tim Burton being like, well, he should probably have black goo coming out of his mouth. He bites a guy's nose off. Remember that?

I love that. This was like a movie that had like McDonald's toys. It was a Happy Meal set. When he ate the raw fish down by the water, it's like singed into my brain, that scene. I've been like, and he'd nod at it in a way that now, this is the funniest thing,

because I've said this one time to Charlie Day, is I was like, I see remnants of that character in Frank and Always Sunny. That's so funny. When he eats, I'll be like, Penguin ate like that. Where he's like, when he does that, like gnawing. We're like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, give me your most, your favorite obscure scene, doesn't have to be from the Batman series that we've been rambling on about,

but your favorite obscure scene from a movie that you don't think other people saw, that stuck out to you always. Well, this is not an obscure movie, but. Or scene in a film, I mean, like a scene from it. I'll give you the example that I'm trying to be good. In that Batman, I would do this all the time at my house, and it drove my mom nuts.

I would lay on the floor of the living room and I would go, he, he, he, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, She's like, where? I'm like, it's one of the final scenes when the joke. It's so creepy. But it stuck out to me so much as a kid because they pan in on him. It's so creepy. Oh my God, it's so daunting. And the way that Jack's holding his face still. Yeah.

And the camera's going into his eye. He's so good. Oh my God. In that movie. That's what I mean with like an obscure scene that like, if I made the quote, a friend would be like, what is that noise from? Yeah.

Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh. Uh, uh, uh, uh. There's like like it's so funny to me that there's all those balloons at the end he's got the big balloons that have like the laughing gas right and Batman's got his like cutter he's got a big scissors in front of him. What other application do you have for this? What are you doing trimming hedges? Why do you need that? You had to go trim the palm trees in LA? What are you doing, trimming hedges? Why do you need that? You had to go trim the palm trees in LA?

What are you doing, man? Give me the scissor cutters, Alfred. Luckily I have the scissor cutters. They're located in the front of the plane, sir. Here's a scene I think about. The first Superman movie with Christopher Reeve. The original, right. The original, which I saw recently.

And people think of Superman as being like this boring boy scout guy. His performance in the first one is not like that. It's like very mischievous, and he loves being a superhero. There's a sequence in it. I cannot believe people don't talk about this. I think people just haven't seen that movie in a while.

He's Superman in Lois Lane, is doing an interview with him on the roof, and the tension is thick, you know, and so He's standing here. She's standing there. They're on a building and there's like some sort of like barrier waist-high between them Mm-hmm, and she goes So you can like see through things and he goes yeah, and she's like what color are my panties? This is in super. I don't remember this. It's crazy.

She goes, what color are my panties? And he's like, oh, I can't see through lead, which is good storytelling because that's gonna come back later. That's just good exposition. He's like, I can't see through lead. So they talk for the four or five minutes and then she walks away and he goes, pink.

And she goes, excuse me? He goes, your panties, they're pink. And she goes, do you like pink? And he says, I like pink very much This is the first Superman movie. This is a children's movie. I don't remember this. It's such a great scene Oh, that's great. It is so hot and they try and by the way if there was ever any discussion over whether or not that was Necessary they're like well the lead drop is what we need. We know what we got a Why wait what what was the barrier was made of lead between them?

It's just like some piece of the building that they're right. No, they're like standing there. There's like some sort of Roof structure sure isn't this funny that this also gave us a tip for the future of how much lead was in everything that we built Now that same roof has a sign that says California Prop 65 says this building could cause birth defects. Exactly. When I moved into my first apartment in LA I saw that sign and I thought what does that even mean? I called my dad. I was like there's a sign out front of our apartment that says it could cause birth defects. He's like oh yeah they built those things filled with asbestos and lead and... Yeah and cancer.

Cancer. You're living in a building, a cancer building. Do you know Nate Craig? Oh yeah. Love Nate Craig. Yeah. Great guy. Also a Chicago guy. Also a golfer. El golfer too. Oh he's a big golfer? Oh, yeah. Love Nate Craig. Yeah, great guy I'm also a golfer. I'll golfer too. Oh, he's a big golfer. Yeah. Yeah, but we used to go to his house He used to have these parties on July 4th and at his house There was a sign on the thing that was like you're gonna get cancer Please take a test on the way out

Let us know how much cancer you got while you were here and how long you were here for Noah that always Moving to where'd you first live in LA? Where was your very first apartment? Los Feliz. Mm-hmm That always, moving to, where'd you first live in LA? Where was your very first apartment? Los Feliz. Mm, that's a good move. I only ever lived in Los Feliz in Silver Lake until now. And now I don't live there. You never lived in anything really like scary

and sketchy, huh? Good for you. No, I never lived in anything scary. I lived in the throes of Culver City back when it was like, now it's so funny, now it's like Amazon and Apple. Back then it was like a car window broken and knife stick ups. It was the, it was not great back in the day.

I mean, it wasn't like super unsafe, but my Hyundai Sonata did get broken into and all they stole was my book of CDs. And my CD book, for the guy that still has my CD book, I'm really upset because that exhibit CD that was burnt in there was one of my favorites DMX was in there one of my favorites. I mean you have access to these songs how Kumail? Where am I gonna get these songs? I would I would give Google a shot. Oh

Don't look that up. You know what? That CD book being stolen really is a violation because it's like such, nobody else has that collection. It was so personal. Only it's yours. I mean, were you a nerd about like, I organized each page. Each page was organized. I was like. I know you were like that. Each four page, four disc page was organized specifically

to a genre or a style. And it was very deliberate. And if people, if I took a CD out, it was gonna go back in a slot it belonged. Yeah, of course. If a friend replaced it into another spot. No, no, no. Idiot. Also I took a CD out, it was gonna go back in a slot it belonged. Yeah, of course. And if a friend replaced it into another spot. No, no, no. Idiot. Also, sometimes a dumb friend,

if you really have dumb friends, which I had a lot of, sometimes they would double in a CD into a single spot. No! I should, you'd kill that guy. Disgusting. Yeah. I was the same way with my VHSes and stuff. Same thing.

I would very, very, I just thought of the thing that you were saying. The specific scene? Yeah. I would say from Ninja just thought of the thing that you were saying Yeah, I would say from Ninja Turtles Okay, when Casey Jones hits it with a bat, uh-huh. He hits Rafael. He goes. What do you know six runs? He just says it. I would just say it. What do you know six runs? I would just say that see this is what I mean just like to all of us have these little like nuggets that stayed in our Mouth and I don't even know why.

Emily would like, Emily has like certain phrases she says, you know, and then we will watch like one of her favorite movies from like when she was a kid and I'll be like, that's that phrase you say all the time. Right. And it's like some movie that you watched when she was seven years old. Right. And it just gets, it just bends itself into your brain. I'm like, you say that.

What was it, like if, I think it was, was that the real genius? We were watching some movie that she loved as a kid. And I was like, there are like three phrases from that that you say all the time. Well, there's some that I'll say, my mom does it a lot. My mom does a lot because we would watch movies together and she'll do it a lot, and it's common stuff,

but we loved Big. My mom and I, we watched Big together every time we'd go home. One of the perfect movies. Front to back. Penny Marshall. Dude. Penny Marshall.

Some people figured out, same thing with John Hughes. Some people figured out family, comedy, whatever you want to call it. I don't even know what the... They just did it so well that you're like, this is a perfect movie. Even though it has a ton of holes. It's like an absurd amount of holes.

Yeah, I also... It doesn't matter. Emily had the idea to do a sequel for that woman who's like, I fucking fell in love with a 12 year old. Yeah, yeah, why you? What happens to her next? I want to see, follow her around like, oh God. That was Ghislaine Maxwell.

How weird is that? That's who that was the whole time. The movie was filled with such obscure holes, but my mom will quote, she'll always go, okay, I got on top. When they're talking about the top one, just the sleepover. Is that a trampoline? Yeah, I'll say that a lot. I was walking in the, just the sleepover. Is that a trampoline? Yeah, I'll say that a lot.

I was walking in the kitchen, I'll go, is that a trampoline? She's like, yeah, do you wanna jump? It's such a, it was the way that, I remember Brewster's Millions, like the way that we all thought that kids would spend money when they had money, Big actually did it the best because you would, you'd get a apartment in Soho of you'd get a

No, a huge lofted apartment in Soho in New York in the in Manhattan You'd go work at a toy company a toy company and you would fill it with all the shit your mom and dad would be like We're not gonna have a basketball hoop in the living room. That's stupid Why would come on Andrew stop it and he did all that shit It was perfect and that was the best joke that they wrote in there, was that the beds was, the beds were still bunk beds. It was just two small bunk, and they were singles. They were like little tiny.

It was, it was like a perfect vision of what a child would actually do. Yeah, my mom and I quote it all the time, because that was the one that we would watch constantly. I mean, and then, there's another question I have for you now. Uh, I got to work with John Hurd in an indie movie in Chicago. Constantly. I mean, and then, there's another question I have for you now. I got to work with John Heard in an indie movie in Chicago, and I kind of was excited and I thought,

I've never been like starstruck or whatever. And I've worked with pretty like substantial actors. And for some reason, because it was my childhood, I was like, God, I want to ask John Heard so many things. And we were on like our first day and he was smoking a cigarette, sitting in a chair. And you could tell he didn't wanna do this movie. It's like an indie movie in Chicago. It was probably a favor.

And I was like, hey, I just wanna tell you how much I respect you and love your work. And you know, like big is literally a movie that my mother and I watch when we go home. Give me the ball basket. My mom says that all the time. And he was like, oh yeah, yeah, all right. I was like, I'm in the movie, I'm in this movie with you.

You know what I mean? Like to try to like. I'm legit, I'm not just some scrub. Yeah, I'm not, I didn't just bring in the food. And he was like, oh yeah, that's good, that's nice, man. And I was like. It didn't go great? No, it wasn't bad.

It was just like, it just reminded me, keep it to myself. Well... Keep it to myself next time. I have had luck not keeping it to myself too. I think you could sort of... It depends on who it is. It depends on who it is. But he was, you know...

He's a legend. Also a legend in Chicago film history, which I think is also very interesting because Home Alone, he's embedded as a Chicago guy for the rest of time. Like you are the dad from Home Alone. And your uncle Frank was an asshole. I mean, it's like, I mean your brother, your brother Frank.

I mean, sometimes you embed yourself in a way. Is that ever a fear of yours? Where like they embed you to a film or a role and people now you think people think of you as that for the rest of your career? I mean I feel like that would be pretty great. Good thing. Yeah. No it wouldn't be a good thing but no I don't have I mean you know people used to call me Dinesh on the street they still do because of Silicon Valley. I know yeah. But no I mean for me, I truly just wanna do

like something completely different every time. Like that's at least what the goal is. So hopefully it wouldn't be like that, but it's hard, you know? But Dinesh, but someone calling you something so iconic from a show that was so beloved, there is also something cool about that. It is.

I mean, except for Dinesh does sound a little, it's a little, you know what I mean? Yeah, it's a little. Well, like when someone yells Mike to me from the show Dave, I'm always like, okay. Yeah. But when someone's like, Dinesh! Yeah. Hey, Dinesh! That's his name, he's Dinesh!

You're the fuck, you're the Indian guy from The Thing! That's a little... It's a little. It's a little shitty. It's a little shitty. It's a little shit. Well, listen, happy, happy to have people watch my shit. Happy to have people watch your shit.

I should tell you, I... Three times... Masturbated to Chippendale, so I just happy to have people watch my shit happy to have people watch your shit. I should tell you I three times Masturbated to Chippendale. So I just want to let you know three times. Yeah three times. What were the scenes yours? Okay? Yeah, just you you you just me me me. Yeah. Okay. Anytime I saw you I thought I gotta rope one out real fast I'm gonna snap one off. Is you have fun. Was that fun? It was really fun. Yeah, it was good time Yeah, cuz I got to do something completely different than I'd ever done before. When you said that, that's what I thought of.

I thought that was very unique for you. Yeah, it's hard. Like, you know, it's hard. Like, I don't get to play bad guys, you know? Well, you're not a bad guy. That's kind of a problem. It's sort of, but it's sort of also become like, well, what message are we sending

if the brown guy is the bad guy? Well, you're just saying that we're all just people and some of us are good and some of us are bad. Right. And so, like, you know, I saw this movie, Sebastian Stan was in this movie, Fresh. Did you see this movie, Fresh? Incredible actor.

Incredible actor. No. And like a leading man, but he also played this, like, really evil guy in this movie, and I was like, well, I wanna do something like that. But I think it's hard if you're, they're like, well, that's a bad message we're sending. Yeah, that is true.

I understand the piece of that being cognizant of like, what do I want? Yeah, what am I trying to say? Or am I able to just embed this in a character and go, you do know these are characters, we have to play characters that did exist, that were real people too. That is a delicate balance.

But also your trouble to me is you have a nice face. So, you know what I mean? Some guys' faces look like they could be assholes better. I have a, I can be an asshole better face than you do. Cause they just do. It's just a birth, it's birthright. Yeah, but I think sometimes, like, like I'd love to see,

has Tom Hanks ever played a bad guy? Yes. Yeah, he was a, he was a tyrannical evil person. Like I'd love to see has Tom Hanks ever played a bad guy. Yes Yeah, he was it. He was a tyrannical evil person for scum, right? Wasn't he was a bad guy in that one or no bad guy. It wasn't a bad guy for us By the way, that's a movie of Huh? Elvis yeah, sure an Elvis. He was kind of a dick right when he played the manager, right? He was a piece of shit in that I guess so But let's really go down. Yes, that's it. Yeah, no, that's the closest we got I think kind of me Tom Hanks really is a marvel isn't he? I mean he started off as like a sitcom actor

Yeah, bosom buddies. Yeah, was not him. Yeah, right? Yeah Lady killers. Yeah Yeah, hey, there was no such thing. It's that is it oxymoron. There is no bad corn bros. I mean watch your mouth Yeah, you watch your mouth pal. Hey, do you make films? Are you a filmmaker? You shut your mouth. Well, he can eat cake and be like I don't like the cake No, he cannot he doesn't have to be a baker to say you should have made a cake before you start to criticize cake All right. That's fair. Also at some point your life's please please learn how to make a cake Please look how to make a cake. I've make I've made cakes. You are a big cake guy. I love cake, but I've made, I've baked. What's a cheat meal for you? I know your diet's

ridiculous. Well, so this weekend, I've already planned. I'm going to eat a burger and fries on Saturday. Have you picked the burger joint already in your mind? Can we know? What is it? What do you get? I'm gonna go to this restaurant called The Benjamin that's new and it looks cool. Okay. Yeah.

Are they known for their burgers? Yeah, I heard they have a good burger. Okay. All right. You know, it's the hundreds guy opened this restaurant. Ah, ah. Well, that does line up namesake-wise. Yeah.

That does make sense. So I'm excited to try that. But I've been traveling a lot, so my diet hasn't been as good. I don't believe it. But it hasn't. You don't eat sweets though. You're not a sweets guy. I love sweets. Really?

That's my weakness. I don't eat them very much, but that's my favorite thing. What is the one sweet that you could take to the grave? When I used to, oh my god. I mean, I can't even pick one. They're so... What's at home right now? Is there anything at the house or you don't do that? You don't keep it there to torture yourself?

No. Right. That's like, we don't buy shit. I can't have that. I used to, around Christmas, when I was single, all my friends would leave town. This was in Chicago. And I'd be like, everyone's like, pet sitter, you know? My family doesn't celebrate Christmas. And so I'd be like everyone's like pet sitter, you know? My family doesn't celebrate Christmas.

And so I'd go feed everyone's pet, and I would have a day where every meal was dessert. I'd go and I'd get breakfast dessert, lunch dessert. No way. And dinner dessert. Wow. And I would just eat all day, just dessert. That's Christmas. That's your Christmas. Your family does celebrate

That was my Christmas. It was I'm getting tears in my eyes thinking about it What was the do what was the memorable meal? Do you know what it was? What was it? What were they? You know, I love like a banana cream pie I think that's really good, but I like a pie with like the graham cracker, like the cookie-tap crust. I don't like as much the other kind. Regular pie crust, you're saying? I don't like it as much. I mean, if that's what they got, I'll eat it.

It took me a while to get into the Basque cheesecake. Cheesecake has the base at the bottom. Basque is just the cheese. There's no cake at the bottom. And I was like, well, that's not cheesecake. I've learned to love it now. I enjoy the texture. You do like it.

Yeah. I need the bottom. Cause I like the snap when the fork goes through it. I mean, it's great. Yeah. Of course. But even with the Bask, I've learned to enjoy it. I love a creme brulee.

Here's my idea for a creme brulee. You know what, you've had creme brulee? Yeah, dude, what? Comeel. Comeel. Here's my idea for a creme brulee. You know what you do you've had creme brulee. Yeah, dude We're all doing okay, we wallet creme brulee, okay Here's the problem with a creme brulee. That right you crack the top. Yeah, then you you eat the top. It's gone. Mm-hmm Double-layer creme brulee. So there's creme brulee creme brulee. So there's creme brulee, creme brulee. Oh my God. So you crack it and you eat it

and then you crack, there's another one underneath it. Crack it again. Crack it again, eat it again. Smart, I like this. How about that? Yeah, some people would order two, but I do get this is another way to do it. You can order two.

Yes you can, when you're with me, you do whatever you want. I'll pay for it. But this is like a tiramisu almost layers wise. Love it. Well, it's my favorite dessert. Love it. It's the one that I think is my that's the one that's my one. I would say it's top five for me.

That's my one or good old fashioned warm apple pie and French vanilla bean ice cream. Yeah. The problem with tiramisu, I feel like there's a lot of variation in what a tiramisu is. Yeah, well, everyone tries to do their own spin. That's why you got to go to old mom-and-pop Italian joints. You just want the layers, yeah. The OG. Give me the OG. That's what I like.

Don't try to judge it up with some new variation of tiramisu. Just, you've already nailed it. Yeah, we did it. Ladyfingers and espresso, layer with marscapone cheese. This is really good. My wife makes a phenomenal tiramisu, and then a lot of times we'll go out, and I'll go, it's not yours, it's not as good.

It's not as good. She's perfected it, because she's made it enough now, because she loves it, where we know which restaurants do it the best, and then we'll ask, what's the trick to keeping this moist, this cold, and this not soggy? I mean, that's the thing, you gotta have the different textures in there. Yeah, we gotta make sure the ladyfingers don't get too soggy, and this not soggy. I mean, that's the thing. You gotta have the different textures in there.

Yeah, well, you gotta make sure the ladyfingers don't get too soggy, otherwise it's sloppy pot. It's just gonna fall apart. Like when you go to a restaurant and they put it on the plate and it flops and you're like, this is not it. Take this back. Chef, take this back.

Make it colder. Make it colder now. Banana pudding I really like with like the Nilla wafers or whatever's in there, but then again, you know, you don't want the Nilla wafers to get too soggy. But then again, you don't want the Nilla wafers to get too soggy. You gotta like hold on to. I don't know how they do it.

Well, some places, when they do fries and they put a bunch of stuff on them, some places are able to keep the fries still crispy. Yeah, what is this? I don't know how they do it, where they put the cheese and whatever on there, but they can still keep it crispy. Preservatives.

Something is layering itself. I think they're double frying or triple frying it or something. You see, I'm a big food guy. Yeah, you are a food guy. This is your vice. Because of your health aspect now of keeping in good shape, now your food is your naughty boy vice. I've always had a weird relationship with food though.

It's always felt like... Here's my theory about it, I think. I grew up in a culture where the food is too good to not have some kind of eating disorder. Our food, Pakistani food, Indian food, is too fucking good. And you eat it all day, every day, and it becomes too important to you. And so I think we all have sort of a disordered eating situation, because our food's too tasty. But you don't see a lot of overweight

Indians and Pakistanis. No, but we die of heart attacks in our 40s. God bless. Yeah. Yeah, well, but that's also other things. That's stress and life and pressure and. It is genetics too. Genetics, yeah.

We don't want to talk about it, but. No, we can, let's talk right about it. We are not built to last. No, you're not a Ford truck What what is the one Pakistani dish that Biryani, that's it for you. Yeah, that's that's my number one dish in of all time Can you make it or can Emily make it not as good? My you know, my grandmother made the best and now now my mom makes it, my grandmother's gone.

Where did she go? She went to Tanzania. What is she doing there? A little research project? She doing her dissertation still? Yeah, she just living in the middle of the woods. I don't know, does Tanzania have woods? No. I don't know.

No, we gotta get you a map. You gotta get yourself a new map. You're like a smart guy, huh? No. Yeah, you are. No, I'm not. Am I? No. Yeah, you are. No, I'm not. Am I? No. No, thank you.

Okay. I'm, I'll say this, I'm a street smarts. My street smart level is through the roof. My book smart stuff is like, if I want to indulge and engage, then I can learn. But my street smarts, like- How are your grades and stuff? Me, almost non-existent. Okay, bad. But my street smarts, like... How were your grades and stuff? Almost nonexistent.

Okay, bad. In high school I was a CB guy, BC guy. And what were you like? Were you like, getting in trouble? Piece of shit, piece of shit. I was lighting everything on fire, causing trouble. No, I liked drinking and partying, and I was a goofball.

Piece of shit. I hated school. Me too. And then I got to college and I was doing journalism and English and media studies and so then I got A's. I was on the honor roll in college. Oh, you loved that.

Yeah, because I wanted to, high school never clicked with me because it was stuff I didn't give a shit about. Right. I didn't give a shit about most of the classes. Right. They were meaningless to me. It was like this information is not even fun to learn.

And then when I got to college, once I got the prereqs out of the way, then I was like, oh. Then I could take a class I like. Yeah, like new media studies was great when I learned about this world of digital media, which was brand new back then in journalism. And so I think those things intrigued me.

And even if I was bad at it, I worked extra hard to learn it, because I thought it was fascinating. Because you cared, yeah. Yeah, I gave a shit. But so I was an A student in college, ironically enough, because I didn't party any less, I party more. But I gave a shit. That was my problem with high school initially.

I tried to explain this to my mom. Well, she was like, you're not a dumb kid. Why do you do this? And I'm like, I just don't like it. I find zero, zero engagement. It's so boring. I hate school my entire life until college too. But you're a smart guy. See, that's the thing. I got good grades. Until you found what you liked, you just put up with the bullshit. I got good grades. Yeah. I always got good grades, but I hated school.

It made me absolutely miserable. I could not believe I had to go to school. Worst days of my life. Did you go to college? Yeah, I went to college. Where'd you go to college? I went to a small school in Iowa called Grinnell College. What was that for? Why'd you do that?

What's the purpose? Grinnell, how did you find it? Why did you go? Liberal arts. I wanted to go? Liberal arts. Oh, liberal arts school. I wanted to go to liberal arts because I didn't know. It's a, you know, I'd grown up in Karachi, which is like 20 million people.

It's like our New York, it's like a busy city, like buildings, loud, dirty, you know. So I was like, I want to see what rural life is like. Wow. Because I was coming to the US. That's so funny. I was like, I want to know what it is. Yeah I was coming to the US. I was like, I wanna know what it is. So applied to a bunch of liberal arts schools,

high ranked liberal arts schools in small towns or like rural areas and Grinnell was the highest ranked one that I got into. I think it was ranked like ninth or something in liberal arts schools. And you know, US News and World Report would do that. Right, I remember that, yeah. And they would also rank like the most worthless universities. Did they do that? Yeah, they were like, don't send your kids. They would do that thing. Right, I remember that, yeah. And they would also rank the most worthless universities.

Did they do that? Yeah, they were like, don't send your kids. They would have party schools. Yeah, well, dude, I went to one. What was it? I was at Arizona State. Okay. Yeah, Harvard of the West is what we called it.

Harvard of the West, very hard to get into. You had to be there. Yeah, you had to show up. Yeah, you just had to be there. If you actually got to, if Doug, if you come to Arizona, we'll let you in. Can you make it here? Yeah, if you can make it have Doug if you come to Arizona we'll let you in can you make it here yeah if you can make it dude you're in you could drive over that's your admissions test did you do all four years yeah wow so many comics

I feel like bail after one or two it was too important to me I also you know had like I didn't have a visa I mean mean, I had a study visa. So I had to, if I dropped out of school, I couldn't stay in the US. And so I had a study visa. And I loved college. I had a great time. And my senior year started doing stand-up comedy. Senior year in Ohio.

Iowa, I mean. Yeah. Wow, was there any scene at all? What was there? No, I did it twice on campus. just did like there was this like coffee shop that the year before I did it they had like an open mic night and it was just really three or four people would go up into stand-up and I

Was like oh I want to do that because I would really fall in love with stand-up I've never really seen it until you know coming to the US in Pakistan you didn't there was no exposure to it at all I think I think stand-up. I'd never really seen it until, you know, coming to the US. In Pakistan, you didn't, there was no exposure to it at all. I think, I think stand-up is like a very American form. Well, yeah, for sure. I mean, birthed for sure here. I mean, it feels like it's very much our, you know, in a way that some culture had wonderful music for their community. Yeah. We just had making fun of how fucked up everything is for our communities. Particularly because of our,

if you think about historically, like the greatest, you know, look, if you take somebody like Pryor, for instance, the greatest thing that he ever did was bridge the gap between very, very impoverished and, and then people who didn't understand that world had no exposure to it.

He was able to like talk to multiple kinds of people, which I think was the most brilliant thing about him, which we rarely get anymore. We don't. Well, it's also because he probably was, again, another one of these, Steph Curry, where are you from? Yeah, what's going on?

Who made you? What is this, how did you- How can you do this? How are you able to do this thing? So seamlessly so well, you know, it's interesting I think about this a lot where I see certain people where I'm like you just got whatever that thing is and you got it You know But then watching the Steve Martin documentary. Did you watch the Steve Martin documentary? No, but I read his book Yeah, no one standing up is fantastic

Steve Martin to me is obviously, you know, one of the best comedians of all time. Nobody's ever been, who's better than Steve Martin, right? He's done so much. And his approach was not that. It was very thought out. It was very meticulous. He would like go through and sort of think about it and construct it and work hard at it. So his approach wasn't sort of like completely instinctual like I think like Pryor's was, you know, like Pryor was just funny in his bones and like Chappelle just funny in his bones. Not that they don't work at it. Well Pryor's gotten lazier recently. He's not put anything out in a long time. What is your new special buddy? Is he not on the Hulu lineup? Well I did turn Netflix offered him a deal

and he turned it down. But but Steve Martin worked at it like math. Yes. That's really interesting. He does talk about in the book. Yeah. Specifically because he was obsessed with, well, magic, right? He would do... Yes. So he loved... Any magician that you meet that's worth their weight is usually... You know... Analytical nerd... nerdy, analytical. They're very like specific, precise. Yeah. In a good way. In a good way. I struggle with Magic.

Well, it's because it scares you. It scares me. Because the way you grew up. It with magic. Well, it's because it scares you. It scares me. Because the way you grew up. It scares me. Yeah, it does. Because your parents would tell you, magic is, say it. Haram? Haram, that's right.

Magic is haram, that's right. I was letting you have it. No, but I think every magician I've ever met is very like analytical and very down to the, because tricks have to be very uncomfortable It is it's a little weird I don't like a party with ever magician and suddenly a guy comes up to you being nice to him But then he pulls out a deck of cards and everybody's gathered around and you're like

I don't or you you think you're having a conversation with him and then he uses that for the thing and you're like Yeah, don't do this. Why are you doing? It's always like you're like, why are you wearing a suit? Nobody else is wearing it. Oh, fuck. I got trapped in another goddamn magic show. And he lowers his bottom lip and it tattooed inside there as Emily. And you're like, is this your wife's name? You're like, get him out of here.

Yeah, I don't like this. Get him out of here. They're just fancy liars. I know you're doing something. Fancy liars. They are. If magicians are fancy liars, comedians are what? Sloppy liars?

Yeah, we're sloppy liars. Not fancy at all. They're just dressed up liars, that's all they are? Yeah, yeah. I'm glad you're back, by the way. I wanna say this. I'm glad that I see you around more doing standup now that I run into you.

Yeah, I love it, man. Because it's great. It's just, I think a lot of guys go through that chunk of time where you took more time off for acting, which is wonderful, and writing, and whatever else you were up to. It's like, it's neat to see people go do your thing, and then you're coming back. We have same representation, and it's funny,

when I speak about you to him, I said, it's been cool to see Kumail come around more. He's like, yeah, he's going out, he's like doing it again. Which I think is exciting, I think it's a cool thing to take a break and come back. Yeah, it was really interesting coming back actually, because you're sort of like, you kind of have to go like, why am I coming back?

Like, what's the, why am I doing this again? And? It's just sort of like, what do I, you know, this was interesting, is I came back after eight or nine years and I see the same guys, I see, you know, a bunch of people. And it's interesting to see the people who, in that time, have gotten better than the people who haven't. Right, yes.

You know what I mean? Yes, yes, yes, sure. And some of them were good back then too, and they're still good, but they haven't evolved in any way. But then some people, you're like, oh, you're still figuring out and wanna keep changing and growing, and that's interesting.

So for me, it was like, why do I wanna do this again? It was like, why do I want to do this again? And it was really to, it was a horrible feeling not being good at something that I used to be good at. It was a horrible feeling. Do you think you might not have it anymore? Is that what you mean? Like you thought maybe I can't do it anymore? Well, I knew I couldn't do it anymore.

And I knew I could if I put in the time, but it felt really like, you know, like you thought maybe I can't do it anymore? Well, I knew I couldn't do it anymore. And I knew I could if I put in the time, but it felt really like, you know, it gets bigger and bigger the further you stay away from it. So you get like more and more intimidated by it. And so, and I'd also like built up these things in my head where I was like, well, if the audience knows me, I go on and I don't do well, that's gonna reflect poorly. It's actually interesting to them. Yeah, they don't give a fuck. They don't give a fuck. They gonna reflect poorly. It's actually interesting to them.

Yeah, they don't give a fuck. They don't give a fuck. They wanna watch you. Yeah. And they're like, oh, I saw that guy on TV and then I saw him on stage and he didn't have a good set. It was kind of- Doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter. And so, what was I gonna say? I was gonna say something about this. Why you came back. I just wanted to Be good at it again, and I wanted to have like an hour that I'm like because I felt like I'd never recorded You know I did a special 2013 I'm very proud of it, but I want when I watch it now, and I watch it every day

Yeah, I watch it. We all do I mean what else you in the, what else are you gonna do? In the middle of this podcast, you're a specialist playing in the middle. I'd hope you know that, yeah. But wait, wait, wait, this is a good part. They can't hear a word that we're saying. Please. It's pretty good. When I watch it, I'm like, this doesn't capture me

when I was at my best. I remember a time when I was doing standup where I felt like I could do well in any room. Any crowd, any room, I can kill. I had that feeling, I remember. And then when I wasn't doing it, being like, I cannot even, that must have been a different person.

I cannot even access what feeling that must have been like. When I watched the special, I'm like, that's not me at my best. I'm happy with the material and stuff but I'm pushing, I'm too loud. It's like you just that night I was nervous. It's a special. They're all a little not you. It wasn't quite me that's right. It wasn't quite me so I was like I want to do it again and I want to have a special where I really am me on stage. Oh that's what you're doing now.

Yeah, that's what I'm doing now. And it was interesting to sort of figure that out because the performance came back before the writing did. I'd forgotten how to write stand up. It took a while to remember. And the skill I still don't have completely is, you know, when you go up, you're doing Chicago Theater 3600, you know how to play that room. You go Chicago Theater, 3600, you know how to play that room. You go to Comedy Store, main room,

you know how to play that room. You go to the OR, different room, you know how to play that room. You go to a coffee shop, 20 people, you know how to play that room. That, I quite don't have. Where you have that feeling of like, oh, you're in this room and you're sort of like,

okay, yeah, I know this is a room where I'm louder and more performance-y or this is a room where I'm just talking to people. That, the different kind of rooms thing, I'm realizing that's the skill I don't fully have yet. Well you have it, it's just you're getting back to it. Like I did two weekends ago at Comedy Works Denver. The best. The best. I mean maybe the best club. Larimer or the suburbs. Downtown. The best. Amazing

room. 300 people crammed in, you crush every night, it's great. And then I did another venue that's a much bigger venue, higher ceilings, it was a music venue, you do that, and you're sort of like, oh, I don't know my rhythm on this in this room yet. Well, they're so significantly different. So different. It's daunting sometimes, because you do go, same set, same rhythm, they're off.

Their rhythm doesn't match the room's rhythm. I needed to just shift the thing. It needs to change. Well, that's the thing, you know, and you're like, do I slow down, speed up? Like all that stuff was so instinctual and I'm still getting that back. Isn't it all so interesting that sometimes

it feels like the audience has decided altogether, we're gonna be like this this time. I know, it is weird. Like how is everyone here tight? Yeah. How is everyone here tight? Yeah. How is everyone sort of, did you guys have a meeting before coming here? It transfers in chunks though.

You can almost feel it happening. Yeah. And to flip the room, which is the best skill that we can ever have, is some of the hardest shit in the world. When they are kind of, oh, I don't know. They're almost semi disinterested

and then they kind of get it and then pockets start really enjoying it. So then some other pocket is like, I'm gonna, yeah. You get a couple people, you get a couple loud laughers going, and then it could sort of start to change. I did a set, I did an hour, and I didn't get them until the last 15 minutes.

This was recently, until the last 15 minutes. And then I got them, and I was like, I don't know if that's something to be proud of or not. I do. It took me 45 minutes. And then I got him and I was like, I don't know if that's something to be proud of or not. It took me 45 minutes. You put in the work. To get them going. I mean, it really did feel like work. Sometimes it doesn't feel like work. Comedy works don't feel like work. But sometimes you're like, I did the job of stand-up today. I worked stand-up today. Yeah, I worked stand-up today. This is stand-up I worked. That was like, you know, lunch bill, nine to five, stand-up today. Yeah, I worked standup today. This is standup I worked. That was like, you know, lunch, bill, nine to five, standup set.

With your thermos and coffee. Yeah. You're drinking on the way out all defeated in your Timberland boots, wiping the sweat off your neck. Yeah, exactly. Well, I'm glad you're back and I want everyone to please go see you on the road.

I imagine your tickets are on your website and your website is of course, issupportjesseventura.com. Is that what it is? Did you see Sid Vicious just died? Are you serious? You know who that is? Yes.

And then he was Sid Justice for a little bit. Sid Vicious died? Today? Yesterday, he was 63. This podcast will be out after this all happened, but my God, what did he die of? I did see the last image I saw of him video or whatever he He didn't look like he was gonna be long for this world great didn't look great and I mean that in a not judgmental way like

Lifestyle trauma Yeah, yeah, it's just hard it looked tough. It looked tough. It looked I'm friends with a couple wrestlers. Yeah And it is you know, they talk about these guys came out and they're good but they talk about how tough it is yeah I mean and a lot of times the addiction that's there and the addiction I mean a lot of addiction what is it Jesus thanks a lot McCone okay you're such an asshole keep it light it's a comedy good what is your website by the way for tickets so go to my Instagram which is Kumail N K U M A I L N and you can go to my link tree comedy. Good God, dude. Jesus. What is your website by the way for tickets? So people can buy them.

Well, go to my Instagram, which is Kumail N-K-U-M-A-I-L-N and you can go to my link tree there. There's a link tree on his Instagram. Yeah. I'm sure you follow him if you're listening to the show and you're a fan. Yeah, I'm doing Philadelphia, I'm doing Austin, I'm doing Minneapolis, I'm doing DC,

I'm doing Phoenix, you know. Love. Doing a bunch of rooms. Valley of the Sun Atlanta Buckhead theater where you playing what Atlanta? Atlanta I'm playing who knows Oh tabernacle or the tabby. Yeah, we know tabby. How is the tabby? Great Is it fantastic Atlanta's one of the best comedy cities? I think we've ever played in our entire life Yeah

Unbelievable, man. I think such a good city. Atlanta's a great city. It's phenomenal. It's also amazing when you're in Atlanta and you realize how segregated every other city is. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Especially here. Yeah. Oh my God. This one's the best at it. I mean, Chicago. Well, Chicago was number one for a while. They're losing their ranking. Are they not?

They're losing their ranking a little bit. Really? People are mixing? Yeah, it's kind of annoying. Yeah. I mean, Chicago truly was like south of downtown, north of downtown. Yeah, it's still pretty sectioned, but like LA is, we're probably one of the worst. Yeah.

Yeah, we're probably one of the worst. Totally, but you go to Atlanta and you're like, this is so fucked up. Hey, people live amongst each other? Yeah, it's great. This is what they were talking about all those years. Yeah, this is how it should be. Go to Kumail's link tree, go to his Instagram,

and I appreciate you very much coming on the show. It does mean a lot. You're the greatest of all time. Wow. Sorry, greatest Pakistani of all time, I should say. Okay, wow, that's... Okay, look, again, I appreciate you. We end the show the same way.

You look into that camera right there. You're a single, if you will, actor, and you end the show with one word or a phrase. It used to be a word if you have something beautiful and prolific if you if you want something that can live on the show forever one word or one phrase whenever you're ready wow yeah it's gonna end the episode so okay whenever you're ready it's a lot of pressure it's not that big of an deal. You've faced significantly harder pressures. Okay.

Twitter-pated. In here, we pour whiskey. Whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey. Oh, that creature in the ginger beard. Sturdy and ginger. Like bad guys, the ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are beautiful. You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse.

Gingers, oh hell no. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger, I like gingers.