Whiskey Ginger with Andrew Santino - Kyle Kinane

Episode Date: July 21, 2023

Whiskey Ginger has gone back to back Kyles! This week Santino sits down with Chicago's finest Kyle Kinane. They talk about their roots in Chicago, the LAKE WATER!, comedy and shenanigans. Be sure to check out the hilarious Kyle Kinane on the road! Check out his new special Kyle Kinane: Shocks & Struts available everywhere! #kylekinane #whiskeyginger #andrewsantino #comedypodcast ====================== SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS BETTER HELP Get the help you need from a licensed professional 10% off your first month https://betterhelp.com/whiskey ========================================= Follow Andrew Santino: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ https://twitter.com/CheetoSantino Follow Whiskey Ginger: https://www.instagram.com/whiskeyging... https://twitter.com/whiskeyginger_ Produced and edited by Joe Faria IG: @itsjoefaria Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What up, Whiskey Ginger fans? Welcome back to the show. If it's your first time joining the show, welcome to the show. We got a good one for you today, like my man Steve Harvey done say. Kyle Kinane is on the show. Love Kyle Kinane. So funny. Chicago's finest. Love him. He's on tour. Go check him out right now, please. Also, I'm on tour in the fall. Me and Bobby are going to go back on the road. We're doing Boston, we're doing D.C., Chicago, Milwaukee, Madison. We're all over the place.

We're also redoing those scheduled dates, rescheduled dates, Pittsburgh, Cleveland, Rochester. We're coming back to see you guys, and we're adding dates as we go. There's a couple of cities that we're waiting on. But for now, go to badfriendspod.com. Badfriendspod.com for those tickets. We'll see you out there. Enough rambling from me. Let's go to the episode. The ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are beautiful. You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the whore. Gingers are hell no. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger.

I like gingers. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Whiskey Ginger. My guest today is one of my favorite people on earth. I say that for all my guests, but I mean him once again today. It's Kyle Kinane. Cheers to Kyle Kinane. Klinky, klinky. I am happy that you touched.

That's very brave of you to get into this sauce without me. He drank before me, ladies and gentlemen at home. I just want to tell you. Was that rude? No, no, no. It's okay. I counted it, though. I thought about it.

I'm sorry if that was rude. You have been sitting with a drink for 20 minutes. You're fucking around with your tech. My apologies. I'm like, what am I going to sit here and do? My apologies. Kyle Kinane is on the show. If you don't know Kyle Kinane, you're a dumb human.

Yes. He's a brilliant comedian who I've known. Sucking nerds. For what? Let's be honest. I want to say 15 years, but that seems like maybe I'm overshooting the moon. I'm trying to think of when we- When we first met?

When we crossed paths here in LA. I know there was that fateful show in Tustin that I think solidified our friendship. Yeah, that's a fact. Yeah, Tustin will do it to you. If you ever go down to Tustin, you know that'll do it to you. More than just the jewelry exchange in Tustin. Right.

You can't just get a car there. You can get good comedy down there. No, yeah, there's a car village. Did you ever do... When did you move to LA? 2006, I moved to Southern California. I was driving up from Long Beach back then. Oh, okay.

That's how I met Brooks Whelan, Fahim Anwar. That's right. They were down. They were down in Long Beach. Because I got, actually, weirdly enough, I mean, I don't live here anymore, but this is 20 years since I moved out of Chicago. It was like this month to LA. Whoa.

Yeah. And I remember doing weird shows in Northridge, and I don't know if we met out there. We did. I did a Valley show with you one time. In fact, I know where it was. You might not remember this. I'm not going to disclose our location, but there was a little place that used to be called Sardo's?

Sardo's. The bar? Yes. In the parking lot of a grocery store? Yes. We did a show there at Sardo's one time in, oh, man, it was a long, long time ago. Was it Sardo's? At the time, it was still Sardo's. Sardo's one time in oh man it was a long was it sardo's at the time it was still sardo's sardo's was known my buddy lived across the street sardo's was known as for porn star karaoke on mondays really is that what it was it was like because because the karaoke game is big in la

it's like if you're in the karaoke game buddy you might as well be a billionaire people are here to be like stars i know you can't go to karaoke to have fun you might as well be a billionaire. People are here to be like stars. You can't go to karaoke to have fun. You got to go to bring it. That's right. You have to break. There's no fucking around. And so this was like, oh, the porn stars go to sing karaoke.

My buddy lived across. They're like, let's go check it out. And it was like one contractually obligated starlet and just like a room of just compulsive masturbators just all crowding around trying to sing the sexiest songs. Drooling. And it was real creepy. That was Sardo's. That was Sardo's, yeah. And then-

They did shows there too. We did a show there, and then it turned into a bar by another Chicago dude, Matt Dittman. I know Dittman very well. Dittman turned it into a Crawford's. And then sold it again. And it's now a Dungeons and Dragons bar. That's right.

It's a D&D bar. Which I've done a show at all three of those places now. If you want to know the breadth of Kyle Kinane's comedy career, it goes from a porn star karaoke, a great chicken place, and now D&D bar. I don't, yeah, I don't change. Yeah, they change. Yeah. The names change, yeah, I don't change. Yeah, they change. Yeah, the names change,

but the places stay the same. Is that the lyric? God, yeah, the one time we walked over there from my buddy's house, we're like, ah, what's going on? And somebody's hosing out the parking lot. Like, ah, somebody got shot in front of the ATM by that Vons over there.

Yeah. So, show's at 8.30? Yeah, man, we'll line up. It's like it's opening up parking. Yeah, we did. I think we probably met, I think it's safe to say we met in 2009 or 10. Yeah. That sounds about right.

Yeah. That was kind of the time that I met you. And I remember one time you were just, I don't know, you were cruising. Like, you were really killing it. And, uh, then we went down to the, uh, maybe, no, no, no. I want to say Newport Beach show or something. It was another Orange County show. And you were doing so well.

And I remember thinking, man, that guy's just going to keep killing it. And honestly. And now. You are. What do you mean? Well, that story was like, you were cruising. But then we went down to the show. I was like, wait, what happened?

No, no, no. I'm trying to remember. You were just doing really well, and I was kind of struggling to get any kind of shows booked, and I remember feeling like just terrible. And then we did the show together. Well, it was nice to see you cruise by in the fast lane, buddy. And like there goes Santino. Oh, hey, all right.

Kyle! Good job, buddy. Good job on all that. No, no. And you've had just like a steady, consistent, great career. And I watch you like a cousin from a distance. And I'm being honest when I say this. You've always been somebody that I've always loved.

Thank you. You've looked up to a little bit. Well, I like the sentence, I've watched you from the distance like a cousin. I'm like, well, how's that going? Because I jerk off when I see some of your stuff. Okay, I was wondering where that was. When I play your stuff on YouTube, I jerk off. You know, when there's a family reunion at a camp

and you weren't... Everybody went through puberty. When you run into a cousin and you haven't seen him in a long time and you're like, ah, it's family. It's that kind of thing. You're like, good to see you, man. What's going on? He's like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, this and this and this. And you feel like you're proud of them even though... We got DuPage roots.

DuPage roots. We got DuPage county roots. So anytime you see somebody made out of the suburbs, you're kind of them even though. We got DuPage roots. DuPage roots. We got DuPage County roots. So anytime you see something they made out of the suburbs, you're kind of like. Good for you. All right. DuPage River did us good drinking that DuPage water, baby. Oh, God. We got lake water out in Madison. Yeah, we got lake water.

Yeah, it was good. I remember my mom got excited. We're getting the lake water. It's going to be good now. It's going to be real good. We're getting. That was the big news. We're about to get lake water.

Drink out of the sink, baby. Yeah. Filter. Drink out of the sink. Filter. What are you, a commie? to get lake water. Drink out of the sink, baby. Yeah. Filter. Drink out of the sink. Filter? What are you, a commie? You wouldn't dare do it here, though. You don't drink out of the sink here.

I drink out of the sink everywhere. Do you really? I figure I travel so much, I'm only getting a little bit of what's bad everywhere. And the fluoride's spread around enough where I feel like it's balancing you with any kind of rust or any loose metals that are in there, you're probably fine. Oh, don't drink out of the sink. It might be bad for you. What the fuck? Come on. This is actually good for you.

Is it? Yeah, yeah. It's proven to be pretty good for you. Yeah, we should drink as much as we can. I said when you walked in, you looked really fit and you were like, was I a fat piece of shit before? But no, you were never fat, but you do look thin. I think I... What are you doing with your life that you look thin? The same thing everybody else is doing. Getting into our 40s and realizing like oh everything feels worse

the next day it turns out i enjoy some things in the daytime and i don't want to die as soon as i thought i did as i was when i was 27 yeah what are you now 46 are you really yeah you look good what were you thinking more or less i thought you were Yeah. You look good. What were you thinking, more or less? I thought you were 43 or 40. I thought you were only a couple years older than me. Well, how old are you? 39. 39.

Be 40 this year. Look at you. But for some reason, I thought you were like 42, 43. No, 46. You're welcome. All right, I'll take it. Yeah, you're welcome. I go to the gym.

I do some of the up and downs, some of the back and forth. A little bit of pumpy pumps. Just a little bit. What now? Have you turned into something in your 40s? Have you added something to your lifestyle that you used to think was lame when you were young, but now you do it all the time and you like it? Exercise.

Like, I used to think that was, well, also you live in LA. You're like, what are you on a treadmill for? You got the outdoors. Yeah. Every day of the week. Get outside. You got bicycles. There's big rocks you

could pick up and now i live in oregon and it's raining and the missus is like i know you're sad during the winter i got as a gym membership down the street i'm like a gym and now i go and i know i look like a dipshit there but it's not la hot no you go to a gym in la and it's like oh yeah i should be laughed out of here this is for beautiful people gym in LA and it's like, oh yeah, I should be laughed out of here. This is for beautiful people. Right. In Oregon, it's everybody just trying to fight off the urge to kill themselves. And I'm like, oh, I can hang with this crew.

Everybody's wearing oversized band t-shirts and stuff. I'm like, yeah, I can do this in the gym. It's just you. It's duplicates of you all over the place. Yeah, it's fine. We're all like... It's just mirrors. Just, yeah, a bunch of me and five look like sweating in the sauna. Where are you in Oregon? Can you say? You can't see. It's just mirrors. Just, yeah. A bunch of me and five look like sweating in the sauna. Where are you in Oregon? Can you say?

You can't see. Just outside of Portland. Nice, dude. Yeah. So Portland, that's my scene. I still do comedy up there. You like it up there? Yeah, man.

I mean, it's gnarly. A lot of places are gnarly right now. We were just there. We were just in Portland. I saw that. Where were you guys at? Big old. Arlene Schnitzer, maybe?

Is that her name? I think. Who was Miss Schnitzer? Do? Yeah. Is that her name? I think. Who was Ms. Schnitzer? Do you know? I'm not unfamiliar with the local history, but she apparently was a patron of the arts. She loved the arts. Oh, Mrs. Schnitz. I went down to get a suitcase because I had to get, I had gotten more stuff on the road.

And I asked one of the guys, I went into a local shop and I was like, hey man, do you know, does anybody sell bags, like suitcase bags that I can just grab like a shitty? And the guy was like, oh, yeah, just go down this street. Don't remember, whatever, but he said the name. I go down there, and I get there, and it looks a little post-apocalyptic. And then it says, we're open, please knock or call.

And of course I knocked, and I thought, okay, if you're locking the doors during the daytime, it's tough it was a little tough there's parts of downtown that are getting better but it's still downtown portland's a little apocalypto it is it is i don't have any answers for it i haven't been following the policies or anything i'm like oh yeah this is sad and it looks fix it shitty and i don't yeah so what am i going to be the guy that's like, well, this is bad and I'm going to be loud about it. Do you have a solution? No.

Then shut the fuck up. We sit here and scream at everything. Yeah. You know? Yeah. No, it looks, it looks, uh. LA looks a little nicer than I thought it was going to be. LA was rough last time.

Yeah. But it depends on where you go, dude. Some of it's bad. I had a few people that lived on the West side by the water and they were like, it's pretty bad. I think it's, you know, it's. I know Gregzsimmons was talking about how i cleaned up the boardwalk down there a little bit they tried yeah i just

moved them yeah they're like guys over here slowly moving yeah they're just playing some away chess yeah it's just homeless chess yeah man i don't have any answers for this it's all good what do we what you like the northwest though the pnwNW? It goes... It's, like, miserable. It's 40 degrees and raining. So why? Because it was pandemic, and it was, like, an opportunity to pay a third of what we were paying and rent to live in a house.

You'll never come back here? I can't say that, but I don't have anything. Depends on... The missus is trying to get into the game. She's writing in direct. Would you ever get into going to Chicago? Would you ever convince this?

No. Couldn't go home. I can't. Isn't this funny about us? What is it with us? I miss home. I love Chicago. I like visiting.

Yeah, but every time I go back somebody's like, you should get a place here. And I'm always like, I can't. I don't know what it is. What are you going to do if you live in the city? Well, I wouldn't live in the city.

I would have to live outside somewhere. So you're going to live in the suburbs. Somewhere, yeah. So why not live in the suburbs of some place that has nicer weather? Closer to my folks would be easier, though. Oh, it's the folks. It'd be nice, yeah. And there's a couple of good people back there that I really would love to see more often

than I never get to see. I like seeing all my friends. I don't, you know. Oh, I don't have any friends. You live here. No friends. Who are these people that I never get to see. I like seeing all my friends. I don't, you know. I don't have any friends. I don't have any friends. No friends. Who are these people that you'd like to see? A couple of street dwellers.

A couple of people I shuck and jive with. Some people I borrow money from. I got a dice game. Yeah. Some subsidizing income individuals. A couple of guys. Yeah. I don't, like I was just in New York and I was asking these guys like, so you go on the

road as a comedian and then when you're back, you do four a night comedy like where's your life this is what we're talking about before it started where's your life yeah where's your actual life and that's the thing i don't broadcast on social media all the stuff i'm doing all the time i'm not living a life to generate content i'm actually just doing stuff isn't that a weird feeling like there's people out there people we know that like if oh if i'm just if i'm not documenting the thing i'm doing for social media does it even exist yeah it doesn't even help propel my career forward it's creepy fucking sick way to live yeah it's gross it's gross well what's funny is like, I've got my little secret life. Like, I like to-

Spill it. Well, golf is my repulsive- People know. If I'm not working, I'm playing golf. You turned into the golf guy. I've been it for a long time. Yeah. I just, now I can actually do it.

But you know what it is- You go to the good courses. Yeah, oh yeah. What do you mean? Yeah. You take a trip? You take a just golf only trip? Yeah.

Where'd you go? I've gone to, there's a place. Oh, actually, dude, up your neck of the woods. Bandon, Bandon, Oregon. Do you know where that is? You know where Coos Bay is by any chance? Yeah, it's familiar. Yeah, Coos Bay is like south, way, way south. South Oregon, right on the coast there. And if you drive about an hour, there's a place called Bandon,

which is genuinely, dude, some of the most beautiful country I've ever seen in my entire life. I mean, it's like stunning. And it's all, because it's also not been fucked with. It's a rainforest. Yes, it is a rainforest. It's incredible.

That's the Redwood. Yeah, the Redwood rainforest. It's stunning. So I went to there. Bandon is fun. I mean, I've jumped to a bunch of different little spots, but the reason I like it so much,

not to bore anybody with it, but I get to hang out with my but let's go man i get to hang out with my fucking friends outside yeah it's so funny that for years people go fucking golf and it's like yeah man it's just like three people i get along with and we get to talk from hang out and fuck off i found that out i don't don't play i'm like i'm not athletically inclined the reason i avoid golf is because i don't want to suck so bad dude you don't have to be an athlete this is what i found out all my friends like people are like we don't give a shit you don't even have to keep score just come out with us i was 19 years old on a road trip to the

key west with my buddies and they were getting tattoos and in key west and the guy's like yeah man we usually just golf i'm like really i'm like a tattoo artist. He's like, yeah, it's just your buddies. You just get fucked up. Yeah. Nobody's like, cause I had caddied as a kid. Oh,

so did I. At River Forest Country Club. Where'd you caddy at? I caddied at like a public course. It wasn't a fancy, it wasn't like a fancy course. Oh, this was like,

fancy course. And I, that soured me on golf. Like these rich old fuck, it cost people five figures a year to join the country club and they'd be sitting there at the pond digging out free balls i remember waiting for one guy so he could get enough free balls i'm like you just spent yeah twenty thousand dollars

twenty grand to get in yeah you're gonna give me five bucks for this three and a half hours worth of work i'm watching you pick balls i got 20 bucks i remember getting 20 bucks for a full round 20 bucks for a full round, 20 bucks for four hours of walking. And I was like, I don't think I want to do this anymore. 20 bucks was great. I was making five. Oh really?

I was a terrible caddy. 20 to me was like, I mean, I was like, this is bullshit for four, the four hour, four and a half hours. It's also child labor.

It's also, you can do it when you're 12. Yeah. Like in junior high, like, oh, you want a job? I can go to the golf course.

Yeah. Fuck that. Now I hate, that world of it, I hate. So I kind of got soured on golf. Now I understand. Now you know. All right. You gotta, I would love to take you.

You'd have so much fucking fun. I would, of course. You get to drive the little car. Get the bag right there. Yeah, yeah. You get a little fun cart. Do you get a caddy? You don't get a caddy now?

Yeah, no, I like a caddy. Oh, yeah? Yeah, why not? How do you treat him? Like shit? I treat him like shit. I go pick up my shit, idiot. That's what I say every time.

Or do you give him the money first and be like, listen, we're going to do a thing. I'm going to berate you in front of my friends. We're just going to see how long it takes before one of them stands up. And then if they don't, you know you have shitty friends. That's right. Like, all right, well, me and this guy, we were doing an undercover boss thing. And you're all busted. Yeah, you guys all suck.

No, I treat him really well because it's a tough gig. It's a shitty gig. I mean, not a shitty gig. I mean, it's a labor-intensive gig. It's a good job, but I know how annoying it is. Yeah, I was always tiny. I was always a tiny guy. And it was.

It was like Caddyshack. Here's the patent leather bag. There's an 80-year-old guy who's bringing every club. And it's 60, 70 pounds. Yeah, he's bringing every club. Right. It's coming back heavier because he's going to go digging balls out of them. Three balls. He's got half a sandwich from the

clubhouse he's putting in there. Fuck these guys. Alright, I'll give golf a shot. Yeah, give it a shot. I'll give it a chance. What's your getaway then? What's your little secret hideaway? I like mountain biking. Oh, you do? God, I wish I was even remotely good at it. Honestly, dude, I would never

have pegged you as a mountain bike guy. I know. What do you mean you're good at it? No, I said I'm not good at it. No, I mean, how is that? What do you mean, good or bad? How is it bad? Don't you just do it? Yeah, but then it depends if you fall off and get hurt a lot.

You don't fall off. Yeah, I do. You do? Yeah. Are you doing big jumps? Yeah. Oh, fuck that. It's not like a Red Bull event, but there's enough trails you get to the top of the mountain

and you try to get to the bottom without falling. And I'm not usually successful. How many times are you falling in one trail round? One way, one pass? Oh, there's a couple, like a spill here or there, but like a big fall. I've gotten some stitches and a couple emergency room trips. Seriously? Yeah.

Wait, where's the stitches at? In my knee. That happened out here. That happened in the Santa Monica Mountains. Are you doing this with a group of people or no? No, because it's not like golf. Nobody else wants to go. So if you get really hurt, you're alone. Yeah, this thing has a little crash detection on it now, which I feel a little bit better about.

The Apple Watch. That should be the commercial. You know the commercial where they're like, we've detected a fall. Kyle ate shit on Trail 9. Well, the thing is, the commercial. You know, the commercial where they're like, yeah, we detected a fall. Kyle late shit on trail nine. Well, the thing is, I'm also such, I'm not,

not very smooth at riding anyway. That was always like, did you fall? No, I just landed weird. Did you fall? So I turned off the crash detection. So now it's,

yeah, now you're fucked anyway. When you go out, how far of a hike do you go? What are we talking? Like you're riding for how long, how far? I do a couple hours. Do about, like, you know, you get, like, 10 or 12 miles in a day.

If your lady ever wanted to go, you would say, I got to go alone. You can't go with anybody. No, if she wanted to. I still, I just like bicycles, man. They're simple machines. Yeah, they are simple machines. And they're quiet and they're fun and they're, you know, there's bike paths that you just go on. Like, we just went on a 23-mile ride just to another town and back.

Went, rode to a bar, had a couple drinks. I like that. Rode back, and it's just, I don't know why. It's a very simple thing that brings me joy. Good. And you can't worry about anything else. I'm not looking at my phone while I'm on it. You have to be, you know, kind of dialed in with what's happening around you. It's like, oh, if you're out with your buddies, are you looking at your phone while i'm on it you have to be you know kind of dialed in with what's happening around you it's like oh if you're out with your buddies are you looking at your phone never you're just fucking around with your i kind of make it a thing to like throw it away i throw

it away just because i want to goof off the whole day i want also want excuse to be like hey i couldn't have sorry i couldn't you couldn't get to me i was yeah doing a thing my bad i would like to know what more comics do that are their secret that's their secret life like the gaps in their social media like oh you didn't post anything for two weeks and like yeah i went to surf camp and nobody else needs to know that nobody needs to see a picture of me in swim trunks nobody needs to know that i went to belize to learn how to surf right because i wanted to do that for myself a lot of guys are a lot of guys are do have a thing because of what you said before reminding me it's funny it's like cued me into the same thought I had before when you said that they're documented every second and they're not living a life.

I think a part of the problem was when we were young, the hustle was so crazy. Nobody had time to live a life. It's like we were poor as fuck, first of all. Nobody had any money. We were pushing together pennies to try to figure out how to get to the next thing and then when everyone started to get a couple of bucks in their pocket then you were like okay so this is how i can make a living so then you kept having no life having no life and then at some point you have to remind yourself

you're like i'm allowed to fucking do a life thing i'm allowed to have a life thing but it is kind of a traumatic unless you grew up with a lot of money and you came out here as a comic with a safety net who were like you never had to have a day job you never had to fucking did you grow up with money were you from no you know what's funny is like we grew up my parents were uh fine my parent my mom still works which is a bummer i wish she would retire but yeah my parents both worked my whole life so it was never like that uh but they were always good and fine but also you know i was never given a dime when i came it was never like uh hey let's get help your dream my dad was very much like yeah i hope you do well good luck if you need anything you can move back and live in our house yeah figure out your life yeah so my family was never we've always been that way though and i accepted it i was never like

jealous of other people uh that came with money i just knew it was like well i just i'm gonna have to fucking always have a job but i had a job dude until i don't know until i fucking got like my first sitcom pilot i remember the when i knew i was quitting my job here what a moment telling my agent like give me everything you got yeah like i can't go without i was so paranoid and not about not knowing how much money i'd be making from week to week. Same. Because I knew how to budget. My bills are this much. I make this much. I have X amount of dollars left over for this.

God forbid an emergency happens. Well, I'm doomed. Or that's where I have to call every favor out. Yeah, my parents, I think we were like lower middle class financially. Never felt that way growing up. I think when I moved out here they gave me like it was like a thousand or two thousand dollars but i remember that was like a big deal

like i know they didn't that is a fucking yeah i know they didn't have that and i was like all right you're trying to do something you're not going to get a job right away here's for like a you know an apartment or something that when you get going okay so i knew that was a big deal that's awesome yeah but that was that was it and i think did you ever have to make the call where you're like i need a couple of bucks there was one moment where shit got real bad and i think they just kind of sent sent some and did they know did they hear through the grapevine like i know i don't think i asked i think i was just i think it was a moment it was the you know braugher and i were roommates

me and braugher and i and we did a show in somewhere in west hollywood and we were leaving and grabbed like you know drinking a lot in those days but we're walking back to the car drunk and we got robbed we got robbed at gunpoint whoa for real yeah yeah whoa right behind there's a it's where the ralphs is on santa monica i don't know if it's still it's like there's a bunch built up who knows but it was right behind there i'm like it's right off santa monica it's pretty busy street but yeah we got held up and guy had a gun on me gal was like held bronger back pretending to have a gun like all right sure here's everything wrong or would get held up by The guy had a gun on me. Gal was like held Bronger back, pretending to have a gun. Like, all right, sure. Here's everything.

Bronger would get held up by the girl. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Because I'm just still walking and talking. I'm like, whatever, man. So the guy's like, what's up? I'm like, I don't have any more cigarettes. He's like, no, man.

And shows me the gun. I'm like, oh, okay. And. I said I don't have any more fucking cigarettes, man. All right, you can shoot me. It's not going to manifest cigarettes. But then we got robbed. And we're like, oh, shit, that's scary. All right, let's just get out of here.

And we realized we got robbed standing in the place where my car had been towed from. Oh, my God. So I think that was those two stories. My parents were like, all right, send me a couple bucks. Send you a couple bucks, yeah. And you can always move home. It was a real like, and I can only imagine, I don't have kids, And you can always move home.

It was a real like, and I can only, I don't have kids, but I can only imagine if you're looking at your adult son is just drunk, getting held up and parking illegal zones and getting robbed at gunpoint after doing a comedy at a gay bar in Hollywood. Like I could see how maybe their hope dwindled for their son in a moment. Like we could just keep throwing money at it and hope he gets his head out of his ass, which hopefully I've gotten to the point now that I've proved to them. at it and hope he gets his head out of his ass, which hopefully I've gotten to the point now that I've proved to them,

like, I think I got my head out of my ass. I think you're good now. I hope. Hey, knock on wood. Finally. Finally, it worked, though. You know, it took about 20 years, but we got there.

No, but I think I never, yeah, I was lucky that they were supportive, but no, my parents, our family's not like that. We're not like uh you know i ironically i am now like my little sister had got kind of screwed over in a bunch of different ways in life some things happened that were unfortunate and blah blah blah and yeah i help her out as much as i ever can but it's only because uh you know, yeah, I guess it's because I was like, I need to do this

because I know how bad it would have been, how great it would have been at moments that somebody was like, but I just, the pride was so high. I could never ask my parents. Even when I was like, I guess how, when I first moved. What was the lowest? Well. I want to know the lowest. And I want to know the first nice thing you bought for yourself when you're like, go ahead and spend something.

Okay, and I want to know that for you too, because you told me. The lowest moment I think was, dude, I was having panic attacks living. I used to live in a, it was a partitioned off dining room. It was sold as a, we sold a three bedroom, one bath, but it was only a two bedroom, one bath. It wasn't the one off Fairfax right by the store, was it?

Uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh. This was down in Culver City by Palms. Oh, okay, okay. Which by the way, one of my favorite stories is the night I was coming home from my girlfriend's house. I parked in the middle of the street and I was really like dozing out of it. I had done like two shows. I had worked all day. I was exhausted.

I went to go to her house and I was like, I just got to go home, man. I can't even sleep over here. I got to be up at fucking six to go to work again tomorrow. I was exhausted. I went to go to her house. And I was like, I just got to go home, man. I can't even sleep over here. I got to be up at fucking six to go to work again tomorrow. And I'm sitting at a stoplight at National and Overland or something like that. And I'm dozing off. And then all I hear is screaming, like loud screams, blood-curdling screams. Like someone's getting stabbed. Okay.

And I wake, I kind of come to and I'm looking around. There's a woman on a patio going, stop, stop, stop. And I'm like trying to see what she's, and then over there in the middle of the side of the intersection is like 10 dudes. I'm exaggerating. Let's say five guys just beating the life out of one dude on the ground. And it is, it's bad.

It's not like, it's not, this is barbaric. It's like kicking and it's wild. It's barbaric. It's like kicking and it's wild. It's a murder. It's a murder. They're killing him. And she's screaming, screaming. And then I kind of connect eyes for a heartbeat with one guy. Like he kind of looked over for a second and I was like, right through the red light, gone.

I mean, I literally almost missed two cars. You went from taking a nap to being a witness. Yeah, dude. Fuck this. Yeah, fuck this. Especially because when you look like this, when you have red hair, they're like, this motherfucker.

I'm like, I'm gone. This guy talks to cops. This guy wants to see the right thing happen in the world. I got out. But that neighborhood was shitty. Got my car broken into multiple fucking times. But when I was at my low living over there, I was, I had just come off of like, um, this, uh, this PA gig and, uh, I thought

I had enough to like get it to another job. Yeah. And I had a moment of a panic attack because I looked on a piece of paper I'd written my notes on about how much I owed for stuff. Yeah. And I laid down in bed and I had like tears and night sweats all night thinking there's no way i'm gonna be able to make 350 in the next two days there's just no way and i was like how am i gonna do it like what am i gonna and i literally was at the at the end of it being like

i have no job i have no resources no prospects i have my account, I probably had like 19, 20 bucks left. And I got, beyond lucky, a friend of a friend. They needed someone to fill in on one of these, like a hosting gig thing. Okay. On the Queen Mary in Long Beach. Like a mid-show for like a dinner show. Oh, like a party host kind of thing? And I got a hundred bucks per show. Oh, like a party, like a party host kind of thing. And I got fucking,

and I got a hundred bucks per show. Yeah. And I did two shows. That was also the most money I ever made at the time doing standup. But I got 200 bucks from that. And that helped me, uh, at least get a little bit of money to landlord until I could. Yeah.

Yeah. Get a check from doing another PA gig a week later, two weeks later or something. But dude, that was one night where I thought, this is a stupid world. I shouldn't fucking live in LA. Fuck LA. This is so dumb. I'm not gonna...

Because in my mind, I was like, this will be like this forever. I'll always be panicking in a mattress on the floor. I just had that conversation about living like... I go between thinking I deserve more because of how much time I put into comedy and how pure I hold it. And like versus how dare anybody think they deserve anything for this shit.

This isn't a service to the world. None of this is necessary. It's not a necessity. If I stop doing what I'm doing today, nothing changes tomorrow. Absolutely nothing changes tomorrow. Yeah, yeah. And so to actually sit and have some demands within that. It's bold.

I think it's a real Midwest thing too. This. That you like. Jokes? You're doing jokes? Yeah. All right. Good. Yeah., jokes? You're doing jokes? Yeah. All right. Good.

Yeah. You can be, you can be funny electrician. Yeah. You can be the funniest electrician. Yeah. Otherwise just, you're just doing jokes. Ah. All right.

Sure. Sure. Yeah. Okay. Good luck. Why don't you learn to trade? You're going to get puppets? No puppets.

Just you. All right. Yeah. I mean, the puppets was funny. I like the puppets. You got a catchphrase? Yeah. Get a catchphrase, man. the puppets was funny catchphrase you got a catchphrase yeah get a catchphrase man no puppets no catchphrase good luck i mean not but like maybe it's like uh like a like a smaller crowd that likes your stuff you know yeah so i it is a

midwest mentality for sure i think it's helped i think it's like self-preservation well because we've always been midwest kids for the most part, everyone I know is always like lucky to be here. There's always like a you're lucky to be here thing. So Midwest kids always have like, I'm sad, lucky to be here, I guess. Yeah. I meet a lot of other people that are like, they need me. Oh, fuck that.

And I'm like, man. Arrogant comedians are the fucking, the stupidest thing I've ever seen in the world. How do you get that? Like walking around with an attitude. You got that attitude from jokes? Yeah makes jokes everybody every every person out there in the world has three friends that are funnier than the best comedian yeah that's true they don't know how to process it to they don't want to harness it right because they're not up their own ass to be a comedian but they're funnier than any stand-up you know.

You already have friends that are funnier than any stand-up. So to walk around with fucking toad like you are also a brain surgeon? Get bent. In here, we pour whiskey. This episode of Whiskey Ginger is brought to you by BetterHelp. Hey, I've talked for quite a long time about BetterHelp because I believe what they do is important. A lot of us aren't focusing on ourselves. We're doing and doing and going and going, and we don't know what's going on internally with ourself.

And I think giving therapy a try, like BetterHelp, helps very much. It's cheaper than traditional in-person counseling, which can be very costly. Also, you got to drive there, find a parking spot and you're laid and you're running back to back to back. Why not try better help from the comfort of your own home, car, office, resting space, a happy place, man shed, basement, rooftop, wherever you decide to do it. I think giving it a try is important. I've been doing it for years.

It does help me on tough days, tough months, tough years, get through times. And also when I'm in a good mood, I use it too. It also keeps things smooth and easier to navigate when those big troublesome humps come up in your life and you don't know what to do, where to turn. It's nice to just get it all out. So why not try getting it all out with BetterHelp? Let therapy be your map with better help uh all you got to do is go to betterhelp.com slash whiskey to get yourself 10 off your first month

that's better h-e-l-p betterhelp.com slash whiskey today why not get the truck ginger i like gingers oh god my favorite thing when people are like, well, I'm just out. I'm in L.A. because of work. You know, they move out from New York. Well, I have to be here because of work. I'm like, oh, did somebody tell you we were running out of actors? Did somebody tell you? Oh, were we running out of comedians?

Hey, were we running out of comedians? No? Actually, we're full up on comedians. You don't have to be here for work. You're fine to go back where you're from. I get real defensive about L.A. Yeah. As much as I don't want to live here anymore, I still get defensive about this town.

Well, yeah, me too. I don't like when people say they hate it. It's always weird. Get out. Go away. Yeah. I don't hate it. The only reason that I'm departing is because I'm just looking for a change in life.

Yeah, but you put in your time. It's like a fucking rescue pit bull that you just saw eat ten babies. It's hard to love. Yeah. But you're like, oh, I think the 11th baby has a shot of winning him over, and we're all the 11th baby. We're all the 11th baby coming here like, nah, I think I got what it takes. I got it.

I can make it work. Yeah, yeah. It's the delusion that people have when they come here sometimes that they're better than this place. That's what I think is a very – there's a big ego check. When someone's like, fuck L.A. Let me drop you off in Chavez Ravine. Let me drop you off in Boyle Heights,

and you tell everybody there that you're better than L.A. Yeah. Go up to a guy with a face tattoo that you think he's just a Dodgers fan, but it turns out there's more than that. Tell him you're better than L.A. Yeah. Go up to a guy with a face tattoo that you think he's just a Dodgers fan but it turns out there's more than that. Tell him you're better than L.A. See what happens. Yeah.

Take a cruise. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Take a cruise over there. Go see. Take a little drive around town. Take a little drive. Let me tell you if you're better than L.A.

All right, tell me what was... You asked me but I want to hear from you. What was the first thing you spoiled yourself with then? First thing... Did you ever spoil somebody else with something um how about this did you ever spoil somebody else with something like this like did you do the first thing you got did you buy something for somebody else or do you or yourself i don't think i did that's fine i think i was i think i was i was

single when i kind of honestly when i quit my day job i was so paranoid about money that i'm like i'm not spending anything yeah save it all yeah and then i i buy i bought a bike bought a couple bikes bikes aren't cheap um no wait a minute not motorcycle bike no no bicycle mountain bike did you ever have a motorcycle no god you should have though huh i i would get so i would get so close, and it's like... How could you not? Because... It's almost like there is one called the Canaan. You know that, right? Yeah, but I'm probably going to die. Yeah.

Whatever the opposite of triumph is. Failure. Failure Bikes has the Canaan out. Have you seen the Failure Canaan? I mean, we've seen him. Is that his new nickname? Zero to 60. Did he get into wrestling?

Zero to 60. And that's it. Sometime later this week. Yeah, zero to 60 did he get into wrestling zero to 60 sometime later this week but yeah zero to 60 and uh i i think no motorcycles i would have died on especially in la yeah i feel the same it's a fucking death wish here i drove my buddies when i was in arizona when i and i used to love it and i remember because i'm a speed i love fast cars yeah and i remember thinking this is bad dude because i will i wouldn't dude, because I will die. I wouldn't trust myself.

Yeah, I will die. I did dumb shit in cars. Yep. I bought, okay, so the first, you know what? Give it to me. You can do this. I bought, I'd always driven just used cars, whatever, like the cheapest thing you can get or thing like, cheapest, most reliable thing.

Yeah. And so my Ford Ranger, my old tool truck was it was like a no-carpeted floor white Ford Ranger stick shift that I think was from an auto parts store or something. And I drove that, and it stalled out right by downtown where the 10 goes to the 1. Like this crazy interchange at Rush Hour where I'm stalled in a lane, and I'm like, I'm going to die. Like I've never made a more panicked phone call. Not even after getting robbed. I didn't even call a lane and I'm like, I'm going to die. Like I've never made a more panicked phone call. Not even after getting robbed. I didn't even call the cops after I get robbed. But my car stalling at the 110 in rush hour, I'm like, I'm calling AAA.

I'm like, I'm going to have to jump off the bridge just to save my own life if you don't get here soon. I bought an Audi, an A3, the small one, just the little guy. That's a good one. And I had it for one year before I was like, this sucks. You hated it because it was the nicest thing i had but it's a tool a car is a tool and it was so nice that i cared about it and i cared if anything happened to it and like this isn't the attitude you should have towards an item that's a car this is it's not a vintage car it's not like it's not a classic guitar it's not anything

that like we need to preserve this it's just a car it's a car and i was still like oh did i bang the little thing there oh is that a scratch in the hood i'm like this sucks yeah i feel this way i had it for a year i sold it i got another truck that's just running but that was your little you felt the little taste you had a little taste i did was like, oh, this isn't what I'm about. Yeah. I just wanted a car that could like merge onto the highways here

without me having to wave an orange flag out the side. Like I was about to start dropping cones. Like I'm merging doing the same speed as like the CalDOT workers. I'm like,

no, I want a car that actually does. But then as soon as I had it, I was doing all the dickhead things. I'm doing everything you do with a fucking white European sports car. I became an asshole. That guy zipping around. Break the turn signal off.

Get rid of that. You'll never use it. Every shitheaded thing. I became the asshole I hated. It encompassed so many terrible things. Like, get rid of it. You felt what it was like for a minute. And then you got out.

But I realized I'm not that guy. Yeah. I just wanted the nice thing. Right. Because I thought I'm working and I got some money. Let's have a nice thing. And I'm like, oh, I'm not about nice thing. Not at all.

What's the nice? So you've kind of gotten rid of all material bullshit. No, I have. I got bikes. I got guitars. I don't show them. I just like them. I think they're, I suck at guitar. I think I got guitars. I don't show them. I just like them. I think they're...

I suck at guitar. I think it's a beautiful piece of craftsmanship. I could tell a difference between the way they play. I'm not going to let anybody listen to me play, but I like them. Yeah. It's like a little piece of artwork to me. You know? But they are.

And I'm not buying these $50,000, you know... Is that how much a nice guitar is? I'm so clueless. Some class, like, look at it in the same terms as, like, classic cars or anything. Sure. It goes from anywhere from two grand to a hundred grand. Yeah, one of a hundred that came out in 1972 or this, that. I'm not doing that.

No. I just like, yeah, I think they look cool. They do look cool. I've never been able to play, and all my friends that can play, I'm really annoyed by. But I have such an ego about my own abilities that i'm like well i can't start because i know i'll be obsessed and it'll break my heart if i'm not good oh really i like if i start something and i might not be good at it oh you got gifted child syndrome what is that what it is yeah if you're not good at something right away it means you're a failure

yeah because early on in life you were told you were gifted and you're good at things so then if something doesn't come with ease quick yeah you're miserable because you think you should be good at everything i oh that's interesting i swim in that feeling yeah that's that's why i hang on to stand-up because it's the only thing that still is giving me back enough right well like with like that's my stomach with golf like that's my thing I know I'm good at golf and I really like it. But if there's a new thing that I think I might not be good at, I'm like, I'm not doing it. Oh, you don't allow yourself to be shitty at stuff. Not really.

Unless I think I'm going to be good at it, I'm not going to do it. Really? Yeah, because a piece of me thinks, what am I wasting my time doing? Unless I'm extremely interested. Unless it's like I wanted to learn piano and i genuinely want to learn piano and i think i might not be that good at it but i'm willing to do it because i think it's so wonderful but i have yet to do it because i'm like nervous about it so i'm like well i'm not gonna but we have we have a really really nice yeah piano or keyboard what

do you got you got a full piano leave it i'll leave it got you got a full piano I'll leave it to you tell me you have a grand piano cause you thought about learning no no no I don't play she plays and she's very good and she's very good well so that's scary for you to have to display your vulnerability well you know what it really is

I want to be able to play sad songs at night on the piano that's truthfully what it is I want to play sad stuff at night on the piano like there's a pretty tune sometimes that that she plays andrew santino sad songs at night that should have been my special no but i love sad songs at night sad songs over toluca lake at night i love it i love it that's god wasn't blank out where i live oh shit sorry that's all right, wasn't that... Blank out where I live. Oh, shit. Sorry. That's all right. We didn't say. I just told... Okay, sorry.

Yeah. You know how many psychos listen to this show? No. Blank it out, Joe. I'm not... Cut it out. But I got hesitant about stating where I say outside of... People know where it is, but it's still a big enough town, but it's weird.

Well, it's almost weird. Here's what it really is. still a big enough town but it's weird well it's almost weird here's what it really is uh i like a little bit of evasiveness i like a little bit of like i want to be a little evasive that's what we're talking about before this yeah a little bit of disappear how much like the place i told you we want to go to we don't tell anybody okay yeah and it's only because uh nobody's gonna know so what i've been doing on this show over the years including with bobby i drop little hints about other places but i'm never gonna live in those places i say that to them just to fuck with them okay just because i want them to think i'm somewhere else i like that i like that yeah have

you had any encounters that was that something you want to talk about is there well we haven't talked what did you do nice for somebody else? Oh. That's a good positive. Well, I think I talked about it before. But the first thing, I never really got myself anything really nice for years and years and years. Because I'm, you know, I'm. You're aware of the fleeting nature of this whole business.

I never got anything really nice. I mean, only in the recent years do I give myself something that I kind of really want. But for years and years, no, but the first check I ever got, I bought my parents a new computer and I thought that was fucking huge because they didn't have, you know,

they had a, you know, 92 Dell or whatever it was, or maybe the late eighties. No, yeah, it was early nineties. And then my dad,

I've told this story, but like, I'll never forget. I bought my parents like a mac a man like you know and uh my dad took it out of the box and just like my dad to look at and be like where's the bottom didn't even care where's the thing on the bottom we didn't get all the pieces did you have the receipt did you keep the receipt did you have to you do do i have to buy a bottom you only bought me the fucking top that's literally how he thought and i was like no dad this this this

is the bottom thing that usually on the floor it's in the face of this thing it's like one of the nicest it's like new technology you know what i mean this is the whole this is the thing but selling him on that was insane he was like that's bullshit there isn't the floor thing powers the face dude and i was like okay he hated it he never used it to this day they still have it at my parents house i still have the one that i bought them it still sits there your parents not being online as much is probably a good thing yeah i tried we went to hawaii for christmas a couple years ago and i'm like i would like to get everybody's thing but they're they're too proud they won't let me do it it's like no no we got we got a room i'm like all right well we're staying here and you could stay in this place i'll get

your room no we got no we got one there's no air conditioning all right well god damn it because the room was expensive so you wanted to go let me treat i wanted to get them i just wanted to get the trip that's nice that's a nice thing yeah but they won't no no it's unacceptable right the children don't pay for the parents regardless that you're middle-aged and successful yeah it's not you don't do that i know that's a midwest fucking fucking and it sucks yeah i picked them up from the airport i'm like they my mom's never been to hawaii we're maui my dad had been like in the in the military had a stopover during Vietnam.

I took a shit in Maui. Yeah, I'm picking them up. Sunset. We're driving. I got them. They're both looking at their phone, arguing about the terms and services on how you could use the safe in the room. Well, it says they're not responsible for the items.

Well, then what's the point of having a safe if they're not going to be responsible? I may as well just leave the shit on the balcony for everybody. Sunset. Sunset over there. It's balcony for everybody. Sunset, sunset over there. It's a beautiful sunset. Sunset in Maui. You guys just flew seven hours. Sunset in Maui. Well, see, why do we have the safe? It means that they know that they know the combo to the safe, so they

could put the stuff in there and take it out. You have nothing to steal, you guys. Neither one of you have any valuables. We're in sunset. Dan, there's a sunset. Do you want to see a sunset i saw a lot of sun it was a sunrise there's one point we can go see the sunrise of a volcano i see a lot of sunrises working the overnights at o'hare i'm like well this is over a volcano and not a fucking fuel truck but you know you do you same thing fuel volcano yeah yeah same thing heat turns in energy

but yeah i your old man works at o'hare by the way he used to yeah what was he doing Same thing, fuel volcano. Yeah, yeah, same thing. Heat turns into energy. But yeah, I... Your old man works at O'Hare, by the way? He used to, yeah. What was he doing? He was a mechanic. So he was a smart guy, though. He's a, yeah, he's an airline guy. He had to be a bright bulb to fix fucking airplanes.

He would tell some stories about what they would get into overnight over there that made me... Shaky about airplanes? Never. Honestly, it should be. Yeah. It should be shaky should be shaky we throw a pin in there once in a while they were just like pranksters overnight it was always just how they would like fuck with each other like how you would like i imagine a service industry job except also in between fucking with each other let's make sure these planes don't fall out of the sky it's a little bit different than how is my steak cooked?

Yeah, but I think he loved it. I think that was his, like, it's midnight. You know, it's not the daytime kind of life. Are we talking like he worked midnight to 5 a.m. or 6 a.m. or something like that? Yeah, he was always some version of overnights, whether it was like 9 to 6 or midnight to 9. I remember my uncle used to work the night hours. I'm fascinated as a kid because everyone we knew as a kid, again, I'm doing the Midwest thing,

but everyone I knew as a kid worked from, they'd get up at 7 or 6.30 or something. They'd go to their job wherever the fuck it was and they'd work all day and they'd get home at 5

and that's the way you did it. And you got one vacation a year and you didn't fucking complain about it. You went to Disney World. You went to fucking Orlando. You drove. Or you went to Wisconsin Dells

if things were kind of thin. Yeah, we went to the Dells. Well, actually, you know what's so funny? We used to go, this is very inside baseball, but Lake Geneva is like the nice lake

in Wisconsin. Oh, okay, yeah, yeah. But we used to go to a place called Lake Delavan, which is like its shitty little brother not too far away. Oh, I did a summer

at Nippersink. Nippersink. You ever go there? It was... This was like the... We didn't get to the Geneva. Geneva was nice. Yeah, this was like that we didn't get to the geneva geneva was nice yeah we knew that was money we didn't know anyone that geneva was nuts not only did we not know anybody that had a house in delvin my my grandmother's aunt or someone had um partnered with somebody years ago on okay on this So we all, 30 of us would

sleep in a two bedroom, one bath. 30 people. Oh, tents out in the yard kind of thing? Well, most of my uncles slept on the porch. They would all get drunk and sleep on the porch. And the kids would not really sleep. We fucked off until four in the morning. I mean, we would be running around because it was... Yeah, there's lightning bugs that need to

be hit with tennis rags. Somebody needs to squish these things on my face and make, you know, make war paint. Yeah,ets. Somebody needs to squish these things on my face and make war paint. Yeah, I got to write my name on a sideboard. I got to make war paint. Can I pour you some more, by the way? You can do that

if you wanted to do that. You keep talking, by the way. Okay. What do you feel bad about from that? Do you ever feel bad about... Huh? Like, we used to hit

all the lightning bugs with tennis rackets. How about doing that? Honestly, I felt like people who kept them in jars were more brutal because that was like prison oh looking back on it yeah but there's like just the general brutality of children like you weren't morally well i never like i never like uh dissected a cat i never like like killed a thing but yeah we used to i mean lightning bugs were supposed to be you can't just go lighten up in the darkness. Oh, look at you going there.

All right, thanks, buddy. You can't just do that in the dark around children. I mean, I don't want to victim blame, but these lightning bugs. What are they flashing for? Yeah, yeah. Hey, you wear that dress to the bar. That's what you get. You're out here blinking and blooping.

You blink and bloop. I'm going to snag and smash. In the forest at night? All these horny kids out here? Horny for violence? I don't know where I'm going with thisag and smash. In the forest at night? All these horny kids out here? Horny for violence? I don't know where I'm going with this. I remember feeling a little bad about

doing that, but I was never a kid. I told a story just not too long ago. I told it not too long ago on this show about I saw a kid crazy in the neighborhood smash a fish against the wall and it changed the way I thought about animals and stuff and yeah i look i still i eat animals blah blah blah but i remember watching it being like i don't like that that is something i do not like i remember it vividly like singed into my mind as like i think i don't want to even go near fish ever again

i i didn't like fish for years because of multiple things. Yeah. But that was one of them where I was like, I don't like that. That's what happens. Do you remember not knowing it was Lent and your parents would be like, we're going to McDonald's on Friday. You're like, fucking finally. It's because you just get filet of fish because it was Lent.

Right. And you're like, you. And that was the only fish they eat. You fucking traitors. But you can get cheese on it. Ooh, I don't want fucking cheese on this filet-o-fish. Nah. My dad will independently get a filet-o-fish regardless of it being a-

He still does it. Was it non-secular? Non-secular day, yeah. Yeah. Does he still eat filet-o-fish? I think he'll get them once in a while. I don't think they go out to fast food as much anymore. Yeah, parents reach an age when they kind of don't do

fast food ever again. But they don't, like, they're not they didn't move to healthier food. No, no, no. They just go out to dinners. But once in a while. Well, they go, well, my parents, my parents eat at home every night. I mean Yeah, they make meals for themselves?

Well, they don't really go out. I mean, I don't know. They don't really go out. Naperville? All that fine cuisine? Yeah, they make meals for themselves? Well, they don't really go out. I mean, I don't know. They don't really go out. Naperville? All that fine cuisine? Yeah, yeah. There's so much nightlife in Naperville. There is. It's bumping out there, baby. There's so much happening out there.

Yeah, it's hot ticket. Yeah, yeah. Well, they live in a town right next door. Oh, shit. I'm really out in a lot of stuff here. No, you're fine. No, no, no. I don't.

People know. I went to high school there. They know. But they live in a town, one town away. Okay. And it's not as busy. That's for sure. It can get a little sleepy on the outskirts.

Well, they just. It gets a little country. You get in a tornado country up there. By the way, going, for them to go to the Ville is a big deal. Like, they don't want to go. They don't. Oh, it's like going to the city. They just don't like to go out.

They don't want to go. Well, going to the city. Dude, I, you know, my mom still works in the city. So when we left the city when I was a kid, know i was 10 when we left and we moved to the burbs and she never quit her job yeah my mom loved this she never wanted to leave the city really but they had to raise my sister right because they fucked me up in the city so they were like we gotta fucking not have a shithead and honestly it really was she they like because i was a nuisance i mean i grew up downtown in apartment buildings.

And then they just were like, this is enough. Where'd you grow up in the city? I mean, all over kind of near what is now like River North, affectionately. Okay. All over. So my mom worked for a company that owned – the company she worked for was a property management company that had all these buildings.

So like – Oh, so you got to live in them by default because of the job? Well, she was – we lived subsidized living. We lived in Section 8 housing. So because my mom was a single mother, we bounced around. Oh, okay. So we lived in four different buildings as a kid. Okay.

Just wherever would have openings. And she worked for the company. So she would throw her hat in the ring and be like, I'm a single mother. Can I have one of these shitty apartments in this nice building so give me the garden apartment it was actually

fucking amazing I mean we we lived in the you know we lived in whatever came up so we moved around a few times but uh

uh what was I saying oh so you know and I love taking my mom out downtown when I go home

because she loves it yeah my dad when he left the city was like never again because i got my mom i got my mom for her birthday reservations at alinea do you know this restaurant yes yeah and uh i bought four tickets right fog infused brussels sprouts oh dude it was fucking phenomenal

four tickets mom dad me my lady the fact that they're called tickets for a restaurant says something yeah it is reserved before i paid for four for dinners but i paid for front row tickets for lunch yeah i paid for four and uh i'll never forget my dad it was my mom's fucking birthday and i go we're gonna go downtown tomorrow night i have this very event very special event planned it's way too expensive for me but it was a big deal I want you to go okay and he literally goes where I said it's in the city and he's like nah you can count me out and I was like it's mom's birthday he's like well we're doing a birthday thing here on Sunday at the house I was like I know dad but this is like a huge and he fucked

off Alinea because it was in the city he's like I'm not going back down to that shithole. When he left, he wanted out forever. I mean, the news in Chicago doesn't make it seem good. This was also 15 years ago. Well, my mom just looks at the news like it's bad down there, but then we'll just give a comedian like they've gone to see like

comedians that I'm friends with. Yeah, we took the train down there and then we went down to uh i forget the name of the place but it's like south of columbia like south like yeah yeah you're wait you're what yeah okay so you're doing this this is wild your mom's like we're in humble park we're gonna go see a couple of shows we're just there's like a parade or seven happening right now actually i accidentally got stuck in a parade in Humboldt Park once. My dad, one of my dad's

like midlife crisis adjacent vehicles was like the Chevy S10, but with like flare-sided back. Hell yeah. Like white with rims with velours on the... Oh, you're not the fucking man. It was a five-speed with a shell on the back and like

I was borrowing his car and I was going to the city for something. And I got lost. I somehow got detoured. And it was before I wasn't using Google Maps or anything. I'm like, well, you either take 290 in or you could take Lake Street or North Avenue all the way in. And I forget I was going down. Also, I got detoured. Also, it was just for those that don't know, Humboldt Park is the Puerto Rican neighborhood.

Oh, yeah. And I don't know if it still is, for those that don't know, Humboldt Park is the Puerto Rican neighborhood. Oh, yeah. I don't know if it still is, I think. I don't know. It was. Yeah, I don't know what it is now, but it's the kind of neighborhood that you don't really get a permit to have a parade. You just have the parade. You have one. They're allowed to shut down streets by just saying it's closed.

Yeah, like, nah. You got to go around. And so I'm just on the street, and all of a sudden, like, a flatbed truck in front of me with a band on it, like, pulls in. And I'm in the middle, but I got this white S10 with rims on it. And also there's a band playing, and everybody's waving. So I'm like, all right, I'm just going to wave too. I'm like, yeah, I'll be part of this parade. That's fine.

That's cool. Everybody's having a hell of a Saturday afternoon. Why not? And it was like just a three or four block long like vote for so-and-so for alderman or something. But I was in there. I was supporting somebody. Yeah.

I was waving in support of somebody for Humboldt Park. The aldermans, people don't know about that. That's a particularly evil Chicago game. Neighborhood mayor. Yeah.

A neighborhood local mayor who is basically just a good politicker of he or she is doing a wonderful job of uh being a legal mafia boss that's really what it really is you're able to convince people that they need to put you in position of power to protect whatever's going on but also it's all shady bullshit it's all shady bullshit. It's all... Yeah, there's a lot of... Yeah. A lot of backscratching.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Without even being like firsthand any of it, it's like, there's a lot of backscratching. It's bullshit. It's fucking bullshit. I just read something like Migs Field got plowed over in the middle of the night. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Because...

Yeah. It was a daily. It was like, I don't want it to be an airport. But we think it's a good airport. And then in the middle of the night, he just said bulldoze. Yeah, he bulldozed it. Like, ah. The dailies.

Chicago, we lived through it all. Tell me, you said about your old man, I'm curious because you said this about his midlife crisis. Have you done something midlife crisis-y? Where you're like, fuck, man. That's what I don't understand. If I'm 46. You're in a midlife crisis now. I've been doing this.

It's never been a crisis. I've've been doing the, it's never been a crisis. I've just been doing the thing. It's not a rubber band snap of like, oh shit, I've been working this job and feeling unfulfilled for decades now. I've only been doing that. So there's no midlife crisis. Because you've been feeling fulfilled. It's not like I'm 45, like, you you know what i think i need to express myself if anything my midlife crisis is going the other way that's how i feel like i'm getting more what if i just worked at the grocery store for a while

dude i've had these moments she thinks i'm crazy because multiple times i'll go what if when we move to blank i go what if i get a regular job? And she goes, shut up, shut up, shut up. And I go, I'm serious. What if we're far enough away from the machine? People don't care about me, don't know. What if I get a regular fun job just to have a fun gig and a thing? It's like every story about somebody going on witness relocation, but you're like, it kind of looks nice.

It kind of does. Like, can I turn on somebody? Can I rat somebody out just to get me set up somewhere? but you're like it kind of looks nice it kind of does like can i turn on somebody can i rat somebody out just to get just get me set up somewhere but you know what's funny me talking about that she made a she said something really interesting she's like the way you speak about working a quote-unquote regular job because she works she works yeah and she's like the way you talk about that is the way that people feel when rich snobby college kids

go into a goodwill for costumes that's how they feel oh it's the song Common People by Pope it's like covered by William Shatner

it's like going I'm just this is just an experiment yeah but it's a tourist but I don't think you're a tourist if like you understand the value of it

that's why I want to do something like that you know what I want to really do I'm not like oh god I wish like I'm not I don't want you're a tourist if like you understand the value of it. That's why I want to do something like that. You know what I want to really do. I'm not like, Oh God, I wish like, I'm not, I don't want to be a tourist,

but I think that if it came to the point where like, all right, I have my money saved from this version of my life. And I can live off of it. And then if time came where it's like, all right, you know what? It's getting a little thin.

Yeah. All right. It's basically retirement, where it's like, alright, you know what? It's getting a little thin. It's basically retirement. It's full retirement. Let me move into a Walmart greeter, but that knows he can go, hey, you know what? Go fuck yourself. Every sixth or seventh customer. Just to keep it spicy. You're the guy that can be the Costco card guy, you know, that checks people's cards

and talks a little shit, because they always got like a joke or a thing. They should. This is you? All right. Doesn't look like you. Maybe 20 years ago. All right, guys. Have fun in there. Yeah, what are you doing?

How old are you? Like, why does that matter? Okay. Come on. Salmon's on sale. Have fun inside of there. That's something. I would want to do something with people, and I'm obsessed with, I've gotten recently

obsessed with Lake Life. Lake Life. I love Lake Life. It's all coming together now. It's in the Midwest. So I badly, I very badly want to work, I want to work on a dock on a lake.

Really bad. Really bad. I have, one of the, a great aunt, cousin, situation, a guy,

but he's just, he's the pro shop guy at the golf course. Ah, that guy's, that guy's, And he's just a smart, he's just a smart ass old dude that's fun to hang out with. I mean, he's probably maybe pushing 80,

but every time I see him at a thing, he's the fun dude. Like, oh, good, he's here. Yeah, he'll rattle off. And you know at the clubhouse, he's the fun dude. Yeah, because he rattles off bullshit. He'll go, that's what you're wearing outside? You don't have a mirror at the house? Yeah, yeah. All right Alright guys, have a good day

I used to work with a dude named Lenny When I worked at a gas station He would pump gas 4 to 6 for tips And he was just a tiny little Italian guy That was This is here or in Chicago? Wooddale He was benignly racist

He would always I have to explain that statement i gotta i can't just leave that one alone yeah but in my mind i hear what it is a little bit like you know you know i'm talking about he's saying stuff that you shouldn't say but it's also from a place of like it's a little italian guy he doesn't mean it mean it no anytime anytime uh any uh latino or hispanic Any Latino or Hispanic individual came in, regardless of outfit, and go, ha, mucho trabajo, poquito dinero, huh? Out there cutting that grass all day. And it's just a guy just dressed business casual.

And he'll look at me, and I'm just like. Buddy. What are you going to do? Are you going to swing at him? I can't control Lenny, man. It's Lenny. You've been here before. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Any black guy goes, look at this guy. Let's get him in the ring. Put him against Joe Frazier, this guy. I'm like, God, Lenny. Oh, Lenny. You're putting me in a bad position, Lenny. Yeah, and all the Latinos would be like, get that Gatorade. It's hot out there today.

I'm like, they're not. And then he would just break into like lyrics from musicals. He's like a... What? You love musicals? Remember when men were still about musicals because they were from the Korean War? Right. And that's still what entertainment was?

Right, right. Like the South Pacific was still... It wasn't... Miss Saigon. Yeah, it wasn't feminine to enjoy a musical. Yeah. And he would sit there all like five foot two of them, like, tote that barge, lift that bale,

you get a little drunk and you land in jail. I was supposed to be in showbiz, Kyle, but this bum me. Ah! And then he would just tell me sex stories. Just a little, yeah. Then he would start telling them. Anything that was wrong with you you if you got good head it would fix it that's what it is look at that zit on your head kyle that's a big one you get some

good head clear your skin right up kyle oh i dated a black woman once oh i bent her over i'd blow in her asshole she'd go whoo lenny i'm like none of this has been solicited none of this and the story these stories are vouched for by any of my friends because they would come in. See them. Forget about me. They're like, is Lenny working? I'm like, yeah, Lenny's in. Where's this man now, you think?

In your heart, where's this man? In my heart? Yeah. Honestly. Still doing it? Honestly, sitting next to St. Peter busting balls trying to get into heaven. Yeah, good. I think the man has probably left this earth 20 years ago when he was in his 70s then.

And then his wife started working there and she didn't know what to do. He would fold on all his dirty talk whenever she was around. I'd be like, oh, Ma, what do you need, Ma? Oh, can I get you some leftovers from home? They both walked over there from where they lived to do the job. That's very fucking sweet. I don't know how I got on this tirade of like a...

Can I tell you something? If you ever have the inclination to make a show like a can I tell you something you should make if you ever have the inclination to make a show a TV show about you should play Lenny because you being Lenny would be very fucking funny

I tried to do I did one show where like shot like a little short pilot where cause I worked at pizza places a lot I thought it was funny

that there's always the different incarnations of who you meet there's a teenager who's a shithead thinks he knows everything there's a guy that runs the pizza place was my bud my buddy robbie d pizza kitchen in wooddale shout out right there he's still you know and he was the guy running it but still wanted to be

party with all the drivers but he also had to run a business and then there's always one driver we had one guy that, like, got fired because he was, like, cooking the books for a T-Mobile store or something. Yeah, he's an accountant, but, like, a dethroned accountant, whatever it was. And so, yeah, he's just an alcoholic

that got busted for cooking the books at some strip mall store. Now he's delivering pizzas. And he's the guy that's got the wisdom that's going to tell you how the world really is. And I wanted to play all three versions of those guys. Have you done this? You've done this? Oh, no.

That was like 12 years ago. Again, I shot my shot in this town. Nah, you're back. I'm just doing comedy. You're back. But that is comedy. If somebody wants to come to me like, this is going to get made and we're going to do it the way you want. I hope somebody hears it and goes,

I kind of want to make that show. I thought it was a good idea. I thought, you know. It's a great idea. It's a great idea. I mean, pizza delivery. I mean, it's been done. Everything's been done.

How do you get past the, are you still trying to pitch shows? Are you still trying to create your original stuff? Or because podcasting and stand-up, there's no you i think it's beautiful there's no need for the show business hierarchy yeah when it's like you bought some cameras rented a space pay a producer to edit this together if we start making stuff this will garner more views than let me spend two years developing a show with the network and get notes and go back and get notes and then have get it like i got stuff down to the wire after two years and of shooting a pilot and having everybody it's going to be great and then because one executive

leaves and a new one comes in they're like i've done this i've had this exact thing i know i tested for snl and they gave me a deal uh and then when they gave me a deal, we developed a show. I talked about this literally this morning with somebody, a good old friend. And they gave me a deal. Do a show. I did a show about Maywood Dog Track. My grandfather worked there. My grandparents.

Gambled there? Yeah. Both parents from Melrose Park. Oh, okay. And Winston Park, my grandparents, right by Maywood. My dad's not in the family, the Italian side, the side that we don't talk about. That's the dirty side.

You got any... I got it. Well, I mean, I grew up... My grandfather was a little numbers runner for the mob, and that's what he did. And that's why he stuck in gambling until he was dead. It's funny how the joke is like any Italian name in Chicago is affiliated with a mob,

but then it also is. Kind of literal, yeah. But then it is. No, it is. Well, I've said before on this show, like I never knew when I was a kid

that my grandfather had mob friends, but then I would meet guys. Like his best friend was Joe the Hat. And Joe the Hat, Joe the Hat, Joe the Hat,

Chicago, duh. Joe the Hat, he always had a new car and I just thought Joe was a rich guy who owned a couple businesses. When you're a kid, I don't fucking know what these guys do. But Joe was a really charismatic, good-looking, handsome guy,

like dark black hair, like slicked back. Yeah. I just assumed he owned—I was like, yeah, Joe probably owns— He's done well for himself. Yeah. He's a fucking mop guy. Corvettes. I was like—he always drove like vets or something ostentatious. Yeah, he always had fucking mop guy. He always, Corvettes. I was like, he always drove like Vets

or something ostentatious. Yeah, he always had a loud, nice car. He had, he had caddies that they would drive around town with my grandfather. And then he always had really nice sports cars

that he'd bring around when they were living in, like Irving, yeah, Irving Park and stuff like that. But anyway, I had a show about Maywood Dog Trek that my grandfather worked in

until he died. Okay. Literally at 92 years old and they loved it it's not the track it was called the track and it's not the horse track you know

because Arlington is nice yeah Maywood was for fucking shitheads and we used to go watch boxing there on Tuesday nights like amateur boxing yeah wasn't it

was it a cart what do they call it carriage racing yeah carriage racing yeah and it was just shitty and beautiful. Loved it.

They gassed me up. I thought, I'm going to get this show made. Yeah. And then that executive got fired. Yeah. And then that guy came in and he goes, what if it's like a mini mall? What if it's my idea? Yes.

Me. Yeah. And they threw it right out the window. I'm so creative. That's why I'm an executive doing numbers. And I remember saying to my agent, well, I guess they paid me, so there's nothing else to do. And my agent goes, they paid you because they wanted you to go away.

That honestly became the most relieving thing of like, oh, you sold an idea? Please, here's a draft of it. Tell me you don't want it. And go away. Don't make me jump through these hoops. Just go away. For the next 18 months, and then you tell me you don't want it and don't make me jump through these hoops just go the next 18 months and then you tell me you don't want it yeah just tell me to fuck off just give me the cash now so that was kind of nice they did do that a little bit they were kind of like we're not going to do anything with you and i said okay and i fucked off we did

two and a half or two years like got shot the pilot did everything and then uh my grandmother is the illegitimate child of a mob boss seriously yeah love this my sister i remember i'm trying to ask her but you know she grew up in the great depression like what do you remember she's like well i remember one time i wanted i wanted to take piano lessons so my dad got me a grand piano but we just left it in one of the apartments because it was too big to move. That's wild. So that was her memory from the Great Depression was that her and her sister were the children of a – something with the Chicago Pasta Factory or something. And it's one of those like – there's a lot of dead ends with the family tree.

Your family tree? Yeah, there's a lot of like – This tree ran out of water a few times. It stopped here. Yeah, nobody's trying to document who that is. But so that's what it is. My dad's memory of his grandfather. He's like, I just remember one time like sitting on,

I remember sitting on his lap as a kid and he was like playing with like diamonds. Diamonds? Yeah, like what are you, Scarface? What the fuck? Really? They were that kind of mom? I guess so. But that was, yeah, she.

But they were the second family. Yeah, she was the. So provided for, but never mentioned. Wow. But always was just, there was no memory of the Great Depression for my grandmother because she was cared for. Because it was good. Yeah.

There was nothing depressed about it. Meanwhile, my grandmother was like i remember one time we got soup yeah it was a thursday and we got soup i don't know what do you call the water you have left over after you boil a wrap is that soup i think that's soup i guess it's soup we all got some of that one time. Something like that. Well, my grandmother, when she passed away a couple years ago, and it was my favorite, man, and she saved everything. And that was the thing my mom used to say. When I was a kid, I never understood.

And she's like, that's because the time that they came up and you don't understand. And she was trying to explain it to me. And as a kid, I never got it because I'd go to my grandma's house and it wasn't a hoarder, but she would save, you know, God bless her, but she always had flat pop. All the pop was always flat. It's because she would mix them into, you know, she would save them from like the party and mix them all into one and then take it home.

That was, yeah, that was a thing. Yeah. And so I was like, man, Nana never has pop that has fuzz. My mom is like, you lucky you get fucking pop. Okay. You know, when she was getting that it was that whole thing it was always like a because i never understood i was like why is not to save all this stuff and we don't do that at our house yeah and she's like we fucking should because you

guys are spoiled fucking assholes you know i see you pour out half a coke i should make you fucking save it no let's go back in the bottle now do? Well, that was, because then my grandmother was from that life, and then my grandfather was Marine in World War II, decorated Marine, and so he stayed a Marine. His whole life. As a grandkid, you loved it. I don't know what it was like for my dad growing up, but as

the grandkid, it was still like, you just went to, you know, your grandparents' house. But, like, he had, like, a label maker that he'd put the dates, like when you bought the groceries and put them on the shelf, like canned groceries. So he knew exactly when they were. And they were all faced up.

They were all in order faced up. Oh, my God. Like what a grocery store should. My mom tells a story about like we were on vacation as a family and she saw him like folding his laundry. Like, what are you doing? We're in the middle of the trip. He's like, no, I'm packing my dirty clothes. He like folding his laundry like what are you doing we're in the middle of the trip he's like no i'm packing my dirty clothes he was folding his dirty clothes like accordance to

you know yeah which makes some sense but he was also very much like clean socks went in this side of the drawer to rotate through so he would come out because it was also like big into golf big into like this late 60s early 70s loud patterns yeah so like the classic the classic golf clothes that people made fun of yeah but he was also still a marine so if polka dot pants and checkered shirt were up next in the row of what's cleanest to dirtiest that's what he put on not as a silly thing or not that i knew it just like well this is what's next so world war ii marine is also dressed like a clown with no makeup and it's like well we don't know what to make of this because as kids you think he's great i

don't know what my parents relationship is with him but i don't know i think he's pretty fun and yeah but i think your dad probably had a different yeah yeah i think he made it you know it's you know like my stepdad was a military kid his dad or his dad died when he was young and he was militant and you can tell because a lot of it transferred over but my dad was always like yeah do your shoes go right there there's that kind of stuff it's like well it's fucking right i don't where do they go in the thing you know where to put we put my everything was always like order there was so much more order to the chaos we didn't have like but mean or just kind of like like as an adult man now i appreciate the fuck if you had kids would you be like guys now i would do the same thing he did i'm like that now around

my own house you realize it's not as shitty it's not as shitty but it does feel there's a way to do it that's not as shitty right like we would get fucking yelled at in a way where you're like does it really matter but you're like You're angry about something else entirely right now. You're mad at—you're not mad at me. You're mad at just how shit turned out. I mean, it's manifesting that I didn't put the peanut butter back, right? That I didn't put the shoes in the thing, but you know. But it's—this is a lot.

This is a couple decades of you coming out right now. Yeah, yeah. Are you like that in your house? Are you like that as your missus? No, my house is clean, really clean. We keep a nice house, but she's the same way. Yeah, yeah. Are you like that in your house? Are you like that as your missus? No, my house is clean, really clean. We keep a nice house, but she's the same way.

She likes organization. It's not anal, but it's, it's not anal, but it's like, we care. I care. But it's okay

from being like a drunk, slob, punk rock, slash comedian, dipshit for most of my life. Now I'm like, I kind of like it

when things are a little. Yeah, nice stuff is nice. I have a lot of, I'm cluttered, but I don't think it's dirty. Yeah. But it might be cluttered. I like going over to somebody's house that I thought would have a dirty house, but has an immaculate house. And I'm always like, this is interesting. Oh.

Because in the outside world, you're kind of like loose and goose and blah, blah, blah. And, you know, whatever, man. Fuck it. I don't know. Again, here's the space I can control that's not part of a public persona. And I need this lack of chaos. Right. Because everything I'm putting out is buffoonery.

When I come home, I need everything. I need the plates where I put the plates. I need Tupperware stacked into other Tupperware. See? This is how I think a lot more comedians are than people think. A lot of people think comics are like these, like, everybody lives crazy, you know, and all this shit. And then you go to a lot of comics houses and you're like,

this is really well put together. I want that. I want more of that. Yeah. Like, I want, yeah. I want to see, like, chaotic individuals get interviewed. Like, I want to see Danny Brown get interviewed and his house is just so immaculately organized. I bet you it actually think so i bet you it is yeah i bet i think most i tried

to pick somebody who like seems to be you're right though danny brown was a great i saw what you saw in your head and then i thought i bet you it's together you know why uh i also think anybody that didn't have a if you didn't come up with a lot of money or you didn't start with a lot of money in life in general i think you tend to pride yourself when you do get a couple of bucks that you're like yeah well it's my shit i paid for this house and this stuff for this apartment and all these things it's like i kind of want them not to be fucked up all the time wastefulness wastefulness is such an unattractive quality yeah yeah yeah so i do like that was i was wondering like why you'd see a lot more like in

like rap and everything but like why is it always this outward display of wealth it's all because if you never had it then you finally get it you're like proud of it so it's a very opulent display i don't know who said it but it may be one of the best i wish i remembered but i'm a couple a little bit of the sauce got me tripped up but somebody said fuck oh i just heard it too and it was so powerful i know what it is but i don't remember who said it and i keep seeing i'm trying to see but they said like you know he was like motherfuckers always asking me why do people in in our community show what we have why do people give such a fuck about us showing off in the first place is my question and then he says and on top of that it was never ours to begin with and they're probably

going to try to take it away from us so everyone in my community feels like well i might as well fucking show you what i got because you're probably going to steal it and i was like that is a pretty deep cut and there's layers to it that are pretty dark of like, well, you're going to take it anyway. So I might as well show you what the fuck I got. I mean, I would counter that without knowing. I mean, I'm making assumptions with the way you phrased. Puerto Rican blind guy. That's who said it.

Puerto Rican blind guy. Marco Venezuela. Do you know him? No, is that? No, it's not real. Is any of that real? None of it's real i was like oh puerto rican blind guys no is pitbull blind yeah no he's either one of those things and now i look terrible no he was saying none of it's theirs anyway and they're gonna take it from me so

might as well fucking there it's like it's on lease yeah it's it's well that's and a note from that is like that whole 30 for 30, that documentary series where they did one just called Broke. Broke, I love Broke. Yeah. And like, ooh, not like I think I'm ever going to get that much money, but those, I learned more from watching comedians who fucked up than I ever did from watching people successful.

Ah, yeah. People that are successful, it's, I mean, it's hard work and it's talent, but so much of it is like, we chose you. Here you go. Yeah. We chose you. There's people doing the same amount of effort as all the famous people out there. There's people doing the same amount with the same talent and same hustle

that just aren't getting the bump. I would say there's people doing so much more. Or even more. Way more. same hustle that just aren't getting the bump i would say there's people doing so much more or even more way more but so to look at who gets successful there's that mysterious like you lived here and somebody liked you or whatever the fuck but it's the people that fucked it up that i would go to zany's downtown in chicago old town yeah yeah if i didn't have sets or if i if i like you know i wasn't even using the internet i I was, like, reading the newspaper. There's supposed to be an open mic here.

Oh, well, that's been canceled for six weeks, but they didn't update the listing in the Chicago Reader or something. So I knew I can go to Zany's. I knew Martine would let me sit in the back and I'd watch these old headliners. And I'd watch these headliners doing the same set for, like, years. This set is dated if it was 10 years ago. Right. And you're doing it now and you don't care about the game.

You don't care about doing comedy. And you're watching this audience that's already half your age not give a fucking care in the world of why you're on stage. And now you're angry at them because they're not connecting about the construction on the Dan Ryan is out of hand material. And I just watch these guys fall out of love with the game but not have a plan B. Right. So my options are like, well, I have to love this forever or I really have to have something else that I'm hoping to do outside of stand-up.

I haven't found that yet. So I just have like – So you've been loving it forever. There's no superstardom in my future maybe, but there's sustainability, I think. And as long as you're in love with it, what the fuck is the difference? I still like doing this.

And what's the difference if you're in love with it? Who gives a shit? That's what I'm saying. Because I get fucked up in my own head. Like, oh, why don't I have this? Why don't I have that? Nah, fuck that. I already got all this.

As long as you're in love with it still. And you are. And I'll say this. A, I appreciate you coming on the show I haven't seen you in a long long time B. Everybody do yourself a favor please watch Kyle's new special

you can watch all of your specials you've put up on YouTube no they are though right? somebody owns the rights to them I didn't put them up whoever owns the rights to my special I just want people to see them if you put them up on. I've seen a lot of them on there. I didn't put them up. Whoever owns the rights to my special. I just want people to see them. If you like them, buy a ticket

to a show. I like his old stuff better, as I think is on YouTube. Whiskey Icarus is on YouTube. All the Comedy Central stuff got bought by Comedy Dynamics, and now they're airing. They're making all the money. Should we burn that place to the ground? Anyway, go watch his new special, because that's more important. Watch the new special. We'll link it below.

But do you like that I named both of your specials from before because i remember i remember whiskey icarus and i like his old stuff better but the new special is chicago is the third one but it's loose in chicago oh boy fuck you kyle the new special say it shacks and struts baby please go watch it right now we'll put the link in the description right below we end the show the same way you look into that camera right there okay you say one word or one phrase a lot of people it used to be one word and people like i don't know if i can you can say one word or one phrase to end the episode for the rest of time in that camera whenever you're ready one word or one phrase to end the show okay there's a quote from my pal lenny vittuli okay my first wife she fucked the flu right out of me in here

we pour whiskey whiskey you're that creature in the ginger beard sturdy and ginger like vampires the ginger gene is a curse gingers are beautiful you owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse

gingers are hell no this whiskey is excellent ginger i like gingers