Whiskey Ginger with Andrew Santino - Les Mascots

Episode Date: October 24, 2025

In this wild episode, host Andrew Santino sits down with the stars of the new comedy series Les Mascots: John Feitelberg, & Tommy Smokes. We dive into their behind-the-scenes life, the making of the show, how two struggling actors end up working as street-costumed characters in Times Square, and what the future holds for this production. 🎥 Check out the full series and latest from Les Mascots on YouTube: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLRxlXZ-3_3FVancNLiFx9MeXu6U-R-AEH&si=bYx72g6ET_Ja11Sz 👉 Don’t forget: Subscribe to the Whiskey Ginger channel and hit the 🔔 for more episodes. Like & comment below to let us know what part of the conversation resonated most. Share this with a friend who loves comedy, Barstool culture, or just wants a good laugh. #LesMascots #AndrewSantino #WhiskeyGinger #ComedyPodcast #BarstoolSports #BehindTheScenes #PodcastEpisode #TVSeries ======================================================== Sponsor Whiskey Ginger: https://public.liveread.io/media-kit/whiskeyginger SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS FACTOR PROMO CODE: WHISKEY50OFF SAVE 50% OFF YOUR 1ST BOX https://factormeals.com/whiskey50off MANDO PROMO CODE: WHISKEY 20% OFF SITEWIDE https://shopmando.com ======================================================== Follow Andrew Santino: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ https://twitter.com/CheetoSantino Follow Whiskey Ginger: https://www.instagram.com/whiskeygingerpodcast https://twitter.com/whiskeygingerpodcast Produced and edited by Joe Faria https://www.instagram.com/itsjoefaria Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What I'm with you, Ginger fans. Welcome back to the show. It's your first time joining the show. Welcome to the show. We got a good one for you today. And I am on tour. I am on the road, hitting the road again. I'm going to be the punchline in San Francisco, Halloween weekend. I think it's all sold out, but there is a waiting list. Then I'm down to Brea Improv. Brea, come out and see your boy. Tempe Improv, my return to Arizona State University. Two shows I think are already sold out. Grab those tickets. Then I go to Hammond, Indiana, down at the Horseshoe during the week before Turkey Day. I'm in Windsor, Ontario, Canada, and the New Year. Bethlehem, PA, God bless.

Hanover, Maryland. The Borgata in Atlantic City, New Jersey is selling fast. I love you. Thank you, Atlantic City. Then Harris in Valley Center, which is by San Diego. That's my little homage to Bobby. Canaanville, Oregon for Lover's Day for February 14th V-Day.

And then I'm at the Win Casino in Las Vegas. The Win. I'm excited to come back out to Las Vegas. Go get your ticket to Andrew Santino.com. Andrew Santino.com. In here, we pour whisk, whisk, whisk, whisk. Whiskey. You were that creature in the ginger beard.

Sturdy and ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Ginger's a fugitive. You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse. Ginger's, oh, hell no. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers.

Letting John, welcome back to Whiskey Ginger. My guest today are some of my favorite people in other say that for all my guess. But, I mean, once again, today it's Fidelberg and Tommy smokes here for Les Mescal. Le Mescal. Or just mascots. Whatever you want to call it. Whatever we want to call it. But we were just talking.

We had Rob McElany on the show before. And he was talking about how he names his show's really long names and people shorten them themselves. He was on the show promoting Mythic Quest, which season one was called Mythic Quest, a Ravens Banquet or something like that. That sounds right. And he was like, yeah, I just named dumb names and then people shortened it themselves. They go Sunny. They go Mythic Quest. That's true.

And I was kind of like, I like that. Yeah, let them fake. gear it out. How did you get this nickname Tommy smokes? Do you smoke? No, well, there's a couple long story. Well, I could, I could abbreviate them. First one, so I got hired to be a social media intern at Barstool when I was in college and my first job was running the Barstool Smoke Show's Instagram account, which is just a bunch of hot girls. Guys, girls? Girls. I mean, you know, why wasn't there a guys one on Barstool for some reason? Yeah, that's a great question. Is there not a hot guy barstool thing? It's just us. It's like Ascotts. Is it just you? That's the hot guy. I'll take

See, I just posted as like a 20-year-old horny college kid my job was to go through a bunch of Instagram models sending themselves in and uh... tough gig, eh? It was tough. Listen, I ran I ran the shield with integrity and honesty. A lot of guys they would have got they would have got fired in that spot, not me.

You didn't break the code? Never broke the guy. You didn't side DM anybody and use your power and produce to go, hey, let's go get coffee. No, because I knew like Dave's just too scary where I would have got fired for sure. I became like a therapist to these women because they would be like, like, all the, I swear to God, all the, all the comment, I'm actually going to find you guys a text right now, but all the comments would be like, this girl's father fucking

hates her, her left boo is bigger than her right boob, and they would like text me and be like, you got to take this now, I'd be like, honey, you're beautiful. Like, don't listen to these guys. Just walking them through a barrage of internet trolls, in cells, insulting them for no reason. I got to find when I, I put up a big Lou Gehrick type retirement post, and I remember this one girl sending me, fuck, I don't know if I could find it, this long message that was like, oh here, thank you for all that you did to make each and every one of us

feel so beautiful. I'll always remember your kindness. It's great to see your career with Barstle has blossomed into something iconic. That's beautiful. Really, really nice. It was six years ago. That's how nice it was. I still remember it to bring up on podcasts. That's really cool, dude. Take that to the bank. You're a solid dude.

Like you got out of there. You did. You protected, what did you say? You protected the shield. Yeah, protected the shield. God bless. It's also like, were they all talking to each other about you? Like how she said, like, things are taking care of all over. It's almost like they had a network. What, you never met a girl before? But they're girls that, like, they're not from a friend group.

They're just from random girls. It doesn't matter. He hasn't tried to fuck you either. Yeah. Is he gay? Did he try to fuck? Did he try to fuck? He's not, it was all, and then they all were like, no, he's gay, he's sweet.

He's a sweet little gay guy. He's not interested in us. Good job on that, dude. That's got to be a tough. Dave, by the way, I will say, we don't really know each other, but we did, we've run to each other a few times. And the one line, he said, a very Dave line that I thought, this is why you're good

at you, is, I said, he said, oh, you're skinny, huh? He's skinny, I said, I've lost a little bit of weight. I go, I mean, you're looking pretty good. He's just tan, dude. He goes, you can't tone it, tan it. And I was like, that's such a great... Hang on a second. You're giving Dave Portnoyle of the credit for that line?

Well, who said it? Oh, I don't know. That's, that one's out there. See, I've never heard that before. You haven't heard it. That's because of this. That's because of the skin tone right here. I'm not allowed. I'm not allowed. Yeah, no one, no one, everyone's like, don't tell Santino the secret. But also, you're not, you're not, Mr. Tan. I've just been around people who say it.

If you can't tone it, if you can't tone it, tan it. I've never heard this. Have you heard this phrase before? If you can't tone it, tan it? No, see? Really? I think we're giving Dave credit. All right, well, I'm going to ask Victoria now. Vic, come here.

Have you ever heard of the phrase, if you can't tone it, tan it? Yeah. Who said that? Huh? My mom? I don't know. Okay, never mind. So your mom knows Dave?

He thought Dave Portnoy invented that one. Well, he said it to me and I'd never heard someone say it. It's almost like a street joke that you're like, well, I haven't heard that one before. So you gotta give the last person credit that said it. That's fair. I've had enough of you, all right? I already thanked you in the credits for my special.

She named my special. Did you? She did. She actually did. She came to see me do it on the west side when I was warming it up. White noise? Yeah, and we were deliberating the names. We just couldn't break it down over what was going to be the... Because special naming is such...

Look, we'll get into this with you too. naming anything is a nightmare because you're like how do people interpret this and what does this mean to them and are they looking for a story for it to tie to and eventually I think the original name what was you do you remember the first name that we put out what was the first name that we had originally was whiskey ginger and then it was you betcha oh you betcha was another iteration because it was in minnesota yeah and I was like oh that's really nice for them the hometown you know it's not my hometown but it's like for them it was a cool moment at the beginning of the show we made them yell you betcha it was really fun was whiskey ginger like just kind of like a brand recognition just to parlay on the brand yeah just to be like it's me anyway and people people do know no a lot of times people will say ginger whiskey and I'm like either way doesn't matter either way it's fine with me but we couldn't figure out the name I didn't like either them I put them in as temps and I was like I don't really know and then she came and saw me on the west side we went out to dinner and she was kind of giving me notes over like the flow of everything and how it was and then she said why don't you just do white noise because there's a

joke in there about white noise and I was like God that's so good it's annoying like it was just like right in front of your face one of those things should have her name lay mascots what we have in a lot well lay mascots what and you have a little bit of beef with it so you just call it mascots anyway no we don't know no beef whatsoever it's just

it's easier to call it mascots like in the filming and like we kind of just would refer to it as mascots rather than lay mascots sure but it kind of like as far as the show goes it works with it's Le Miserab like yeah lay mascots makes sense good play Your favorite play, isn't it?

Actually, a play I've never seen. You've never seen Le Maiz? I've never seen it. Have you seen it? No! I've seen a lot of plays. Oh, wait, speaking of a lot of plays. Did you go to that one in Broadway?

In London? No, no, no, no, no. No, no, I didn't think so funny. I'll go see a play once a decade. It's got to be the one that I'm like, everyone's talking about. Like Book a Mormon, or it's got to be something that's like, everyone's like, you really should. Can I tell you something?

Yeah. The one I told you about, everyone will be talking about. about in a year. You think so? I'm gonna call that. You think so. He is you're the biggest Broadway guy I know. You're a big Broadway girl. A huge Broadway guy. Well, tell it. Where did I run into you? Say it. You can tell everyone the story. We ran into each other. We were at the Churchill Warrooms in London. God bless, Churchill, one of the greatest. My parents just went there. I didn't realize that's where you guys was to. We were right out front. We were waiting to get

into like the R-tying this slot or whatever. And we just ran into it. I was like, what are you doing? He was so random. I saw you and I was like, jeez, I'm going to recognize me. Yes. What are you talking about, dude? I was like, oh shit. No, it's so nice to see you. But then so we started talking, you were waiting for your time to go in, and I want to hear about whether you liked it or not, because I loved it. Oh, I loved it. There was only one hiccup.

Okay. Too many people. Definitely too many people. Yeah, I get, I get anxious when there's too many people in crowded spaces, so I get a little claustrophobic, and I, in its low ceilings, underground. So there was a moment where I was like, we got to go, and my wife was like, chill out. I was like, how about, can we just go backwards? So what we did was we waited for everyone to move through, and then, because they're on

tours. Yeah. We didn't do a tour. Did you do a tour? We did that. But you didn't go with a group. No, no, no. We just grabbed our own headphones. Right. People were with groups and I was like, no, no, I'm not doing that fucking thing. So I went all the way to the beginning to wait for them to clear, and then we did it on our own.

That gives me less anxiety than trying to catch up with groups of people. And like, I just... I'll go on my own speed. I have to go on my own speed. But it was incredible. You a Churchill fan? I am now. You are now.

I wasn't. I mean, not like that wasn't. I just didn't really think much about it beforehand. What? You didn't think my... Every day in my life I think about Churchill. All day, dude. Dude, when they were like in the war rooms, the one room, that first one to the right

where like they did all the war debating. Everything, yeah. And they were like, they were like, and the desks were this close. Whereas like Churchill and his war secretary. And they were like, the rooms would be full of cigar smoke and they'd be screaming at each other. I was like, that was fucking awesome. It's also really cool when they had like his secret service guy and his only complaint

with Churchill was he wouldn't stop going outside during the bombings. Right, they kept telling him to stop. But he wanted to go. He wanted to go outside. The guy's an outsider. Would not have made it through COVID. Outdoor cat. I had to step outside this guy.

They watched the Blitz fucking drinking whiskey on Roos. And they would just sit there and watch London. But wouldn't you do that? If you knew the world was quote-unquote coming to an end as you know it, you're going to go outside. You want to sneak a peek. You're not a bunker boy. You're out there, dude. I'm out there for sure.

I just figured why not. If it's over, it's over. Yeah. Was it the bombings that he was calling or they were getting bombed? No, they were getting bombed. They were getting bombed. Okay, that I'd be a little less inclined to a lot. I thought it was like he was bombed and you're going out and taking a victory line.

London was getting bombed, which I also had never, as another interesting thing I thought, like, going through the war rooms is that I had never, like, processed World War II from a country that was under attack. Like, I only ever thought of World War II was like, you only want to be on the winning team. Like, we just went over then, we knocked that shit out. That was a quick war. That wasn't something we were coming to America. Like, it wasn't something we were scared of.

It was just we told them to knock it off, and they knocked it off. And then I remember talking to British people, like, over there. And I was like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, you guys were really in the shit. Different story. Different story. Well, Americans have lived a different story in everything forever. We're always kind of exempt from being like, oh, we don't even know that happens. You're like, yeah, no, it's happening right now.

It's going on literally right now. And we're like, whatever, dude. I got to get my coffee. Have you seen one battle after another or not, dude? We just, dude, we just talked about it. Did you? One of the best movies I've seen in year. Have you seen one battle?

Not yet. Brother, go. it's honestly one of the best films front to back and also from a comedy perspective because we're comedy fans it's one of the funniest things I've ever seen I've seen it twice now I can't wait to see it see I'm going again and my cousin hasn't seen it

he was like would you go twice I was like dude I wouldn't even skip a beat I'm gonna go 10 times it's so good I'm not afraid it won't like the hype that it's got I'm afraid it won't promise you it will only because if you're a PTA fan at all like if you like his stuff this is we spoke pretty heavily earlier it's kind of a return to his best shit. Almost like it's like when

a band makes a bunch of albums and they're pretty good, but then they pop out something and you're like, see, that sounds like the band that I know. Like something reconvened with him that felt like the old PTA. Not that any of his other stuff was bad, but it was just, it felt like I wanted it to feel

again, where the characters were so dynamic and funny and cool and unique and very individual. They all had their own kind of like goals, but they bond together. It's badass. It's, man, I love you and watching you talk about it. If it doesn't win, if it doesn't win something, whatever that means in the business world, I'd be very disappointed because it's tremendously well done.

It's also tanking in the box office. This is the thing about the world we live in now. Thank God, mascots isn't in the box office running. Because, dude, the movie cost, what? Is it a couple hundred million? 150, I think. 130 to 150? Yeah, but then you go up for marketing and budgeting.

So I think they had to make three to return. Really? Taylor Swift knocked them out. Brother, she knocked it out in the first, like, an hour. They're worldwide. They're over a hundred million. 100 is good worldwide, but that's not going to cut the cake. Yeah, domestic, they're still 42.

And I guess you have more knowledge of this than I do. Like, movies like that, when someone gives PTA $150 million. Shouldn't have been that expensive. Are they expecting to get that back? There's a lot of different worlds of thought, right? Like, a lot of times in the film world, what they do is international sales, which is something I learned as a PA, when I first PA'd for a studio out here, the first thing I learned was a lot of movies target international distribution as like

kind of their mainstay to get their money back on a film that may not do that great here. So you usually will use a lot of foreign actors or slot them in cleverly to go, hey, we could post this in China or, because China's a big moneymaker, you know what I mean? And so if you can do that and you've got international stardom,

it helps distribution sales. Because over here, unless it's, you know, unless it's Minions 8, you're not really making a lot of, you're really not, or a superhero movie. So they do deliberately make sure that the international market has some appeal, so they can sell that outside of the states as big or bigger than they do

here. So with that movie, I imagine they thought internationally it would start to, it would start a role. And especially after the DVD market ceases to it. Yeah. Yeah. Like, that was a big way that movies in the 90s and early 2000 were able to make money. Yeah. But is there ever a thought where they're like, you know, like, they're never going to take a loss. The argument, what you're saying is no. So they're not like, we're cool losing 25 million if it gets to Oscars for our studio. No, no. The point is to always make the money back. He is probably. an award darling but you always want to make a profit yeah those guys that's their goal i mean they're they're basically banks this is bank of america wells fargo going hey we'll bank roll you

we do need to get that money back and then some you have to find the most clever ways you can sell it to delta so it's shown on every plane sell it to you know these tertiary markets or they call them like um what do they call them now uh it's almost like these paralleled markets where you can sell it on different platforms as they go through you know um Roku and whatever, you know what I mean? They need to put up as many markets as possible. But something like... What was Leo's last one with...

Killers the Flower Moon? Like that was like 200 million from Apple and then it only stayed in theaters for like two weeks or whatever it was. Yeah, Apple. They know they... No, I know, but they're not... Apple can make movies. But they're okay losing the money as well.

They don't care. Yeah, they make phones. They're okay losing. They make phones and headphones and war missiles soon, I hope. And the same thing they just did it. The new Apple missile. They just did it with highest to lowest, too. We're like, it's a Denzel Spike Lee movie that was in theaters for a week.

Like, obviously you're not going to get your fucking no, your box office back. But they'll find a way in perpetuity to sell that and makes, it will do, it will, in time, we'll make money over. But it takes much, much, it's a longer gamble. But so you, but I guess that's my final question. It's buying a house versus a fucking lottery ticket.

Find a house versus a lottery ticket. It's a long play. Yeah. It's a long play. You're hoping that the market goes up and you continue to sell it and things improve and then you're good. And no one knows.

Versus a scratcher. Those will never make their money back. No, no, they don't. In an idyllic world, they will, a long time down the road, in some variation, but, no, quite frankly, not. But it's also like how Coca-Cola still advertises. You don't, they don't need to, it's for branding. Yeah, it's branding. Apple doesn't give a fuck.

Apple is going to make rockets soon. I do hope, imagine Tim Poole on stage promoting their new rocket. And this rocket, applause break, will track the enemy for five days straight. It was crazy. I saw a guy who had the new... who had the new AirPods in and their live translation. You know, have you seen this? I haven't seen them, but I know about them.

It's pretty cool to see it work in real time. I thought that was pretty fascinating. It does. It does work. There's a lag, but it does work enough. So this is just the window into the future where we're going to travel. Like what? When we saw each other in London, right, you're going to go take a trip and you're going

to go to Spain or something, throw these in and then go, hey, I don't even, I no longer need to do it. So you're saying like the other person talks and you hear it translates. Yeah. Yes. This should be the biggest piece. of news ever. I feel like this should be a way bigger store. But you don't know about this? I've not heard.

This has not come across my desk. Well, you're busy talking girls off of a ledge for being verbally assaulted by pigs online. You ladies got to hear about this for your next to the B's a trip. That is what you needed. Make these girls feel good about going to

the Philippines. Yeah. No, but they did live transits. And if you want to speak in their native tongue, you talk to the app and it, You show them and it live translates your words for their language. Interesting. Unless you both got the headphones in and then it's home free. The U.N.

Yeah, right, right. Then you're in Churchill's War Room. I'm communicating. Wait, but the about that. Yeah. Wait, no, you go first. No, no, no, say it. So about the war room thing from earlier is we talked outside for a while.

And we talked outside. I think you were waiting on your time to get in. And it wasn't a quick, like, five minute talk. We talked for like 30 minutes. It was half an hour. Yeah. I clocked it because I was getting annoyed. I'm kidding.

I'm kidding. He did say he was like, I talked to him for way too long. No, no, I know. I kept trying to get away. I was like, I'm keeping Santino and his wife. No, no, no, no. I loved it. So like a half hour into the conversation, lay mascots was coming out in like a week. And I was like 30 minutes in, I was like, I guess I'll bring it up. Like, I don't know.

I didn't want to bring it up immediately. Sure. I was like, 30 minutes later, I guess I'll bring it up. And then right when I was about to bring it up, you go, you know who I just saw at Wimbledon? And I was like, no. And you go, you name somebody. And you're like, first thing he did was pitch a show to me. I thought he was a lot cooler than that

Your ego just goes I was like well fucking There's no way for me to segue into this now I'm working on nothing by the way I just been sitting around the house man No it was I know what you're referencing Yes somebody did do like a whole Hey can I throw you something I was like

Dude I'm here with my wife to watch tennis Yeah and also I didn't belong there at all Wimbledon was such a fluke we got offered through I'm not a big tennis free but I just love live shit. I will go to any live sport. I don't know if you're a sports freak. Dude, I don't care what it is.

I will go. If someone's like, hey, there's a high lie match downtown, I'd be like, let's go. I want to see it. I was at Ohio State Minnesota Saturday night. Were you? Yep. How was that? It was fucking awesome.

It was great. You have no allegiance to either. None whatsoever. I was in Columbus for a hockey game. I played a hockey game yesterday. Flew Southwest here last night. Give it up. You see what he's doing?

Humble. Southwest, brother, this kid flew Sun Country this morning. Oh, this morning? Barely an airline. Yeah, but did you play hockey yesterday? No, he went to a wedding. No, I went to a wedding. All right.

So you're like, I'm traveling like a WMBA player over here. Do you know about Sun Country? I actually genuinely, no idea what that is. Some of the planes don't make it. That's kind of their slowdown. It is a Minnesota airline, though. They fly in and out of Minnesota? Sun Country.

Sun Country. It's like a weird thing for a Minnesota. Yeah, they're also in the Pacific Northwest, right? You can do Sun countries to like Portland and Washington. They go up there, too. Yeah, but they're base out of MSP. Yeah. Tough, tough airline.

Worst Ireland I ever took was what called Taka? You know that one? Brother. Do you know it? Do you need some money? Is this what this is about? This whole thing was leading up to me to be alone. It's the only reason we made Nascar was for this moment.

I was in high school at the time and I was... Taka? Yeah. It was, I was, I went to a school with a lot of international students and I was going to... Where did you go to college? Bragg it? College? No.

No, what do you mean school? Oh, you mean high school. High school, yeah. And there's a girl from El Salvador who I was going to see. back home in her home country, and I just flew Taka, and I flew home, and my uncle, who's a pilot, was like, oh, how'd you get down there? And I said, I flew Taka.

And he's never gotten stern with me, never gotten angry with me. And he's like, are you fucking kidding me right now? Don't ever do that again? I was like, what do you know what we call that in the industry? He said, no. He goes, we call it Tock another airline, because that's fucking dangtrizz. That's a great little nickname. Are they still operating?

No chance. I believe it was T-A-K-A, if I had to remember. T-A-C-A, it merged with. Avianca in 2013 and now operates as Avianca El Salvador Avianca El Salvador. I feel you're down to El Salvador. We're going to get you down there, dude.

No, I got down to El Salvador this year. I swear, I know it sounds like a joke. What were you going for? With Amex Platinum, access to exclusive Amex pre-sale tickets can score you a spot track side. So being a fan for life turns into the trip of a lifetime. That's the powerful backing of Amex.

Pre-sale tickets for future events subject to availability and vary by race. and conditions apply. Learn more at mx.ca slash yanex. Just a weekend, which I know sounds. Just a solo weekend? No, no, no. My friend's girlfriend was going on a big girls trip for like Memorial Day weekend. And I don't know why they picked El Salvador. And they were like, do you two want to just come with us? And then all of her friends dropped out because they're all from Ireland said like visa issues, which was me, my friend, his girlfriend, and one of her friends staying at like this

really nice Airbnb in El Salvador. I'll tell you what, I guess if you're a criminal down there, bad if you're an American lovely time isn't that the lesson in life if you're an American it's all good it is funny that's how privileged we are you forget about visas because when we travel you're like oh right you guys just can't go everywhere yeah we can go fucking anywhere unless you're on a workers permit but if for a commuter visa you don't really need we used to years ago for certain countries but now most of the time they're like American you know what I heard and I don't know if this is true or not that international airports had to put foreigners and United States citizens

for like the passport lines because no United States citizen thinks of themselves as a foreigner. Even when they're in a different country. So the lines would get all confusing unless it changes to put foreigners. You think I'm a foreigner, dude. From a greatest country in a way. And I'm foreign about that.

That is the American ego at its finest. I mean, it sounds like a Trump law. And we need our own. road lines. It sounds like he need, you know what I mean? Like, we need to be seen as an individual. Al-Sabador, did it do anything for you in the terms of like you'd go back or no? I was honestly

thinking about investing down there. I almost wanted What? Like, not in the stock market. Layman's got's doing that good. I was like, I almost want to buy a house down here. I feel like it's on the up and up. Is it? Okay. It was very safe. We stayed in El Tunko. It's like a surfer town, so it was like very safe.

Everything was dirt cheap. I mean, listen, they put everyone in jail. If you did even something a little bit wrong, you went in jail, which you could say, like, it worked for making a fun trip for an American for a weekend. Are you a surfer? No. No, no, no. You say that, but we don't know.

We talked the other day about people that have surprised me, that surf, that live out here. There's a group of guys I know that surf in the morning, like there's comics and people we know. I bet half of them you'd go, you're a surfer? Really? Yeah, because I think surfers just a commitment thing too, right? You have to have the level of athleticism has to exist, but it's commitment. You have to do it all the fucking time. It's just if you go enough and you've learned enough, you may not be a great surfer,

but you're better than the guy who's never done it. If you've never done it, it's fucking impossible. It's more about like the insanity dedication to it rather than the athleticism. Once you learn it and you can do it, it's almost like, do you ski at all? Like, do you ski your snowboard? No, no. Listen, I'm an only child from Long Island who pees 20 times a day. Anything you think about me is true.

I don't know the peanut allergy. That's the one surprising fact that always gets everyone. You call your mom at some point during this show to make sure everything's okay? I don't call around that much. We'll text. We'll text. In the middle of the podcast. I'm doing okay.

Still potting. I love you, mommy. My dad's actually already called me during this podcast. And I have my phone on Do Not Disturb right now. Yeah. But my dad, he found out that if you call twice, it takes off the Do Not Disturb. Smart. And he talks about it, like, he found this key.

Like, he'll tell, like, people. Like, it's the headphone technology. It'll be like, John Henry. Yeah. He's like, John Henry's got his phone on silent a lot, but if you just call it twice, it gets through. I'm like, dude, that's not the point. The point is, I found a half of his phone. How old is your father?

Not that old. Like, 65 maybe? Let him have it. Let him have this moment be like, you know my dad, in front of him and other people, just go, you know what my dad discovered? Let him have that, because that's a beautiful thing for that age. My brilliant tech savvy dad. When their phones don't do not disturb, if you keep calling it, it just goes through. because my dad still has like the TV

so he refuses to get a new cable box because he doesn't want to deal with Comcast or whatever and it's been on the fritz so like he'll be watching football and it'll just like skip or pause or something will go wrong with it and the TV's new I'm like it's not the TV it's the box like it's obviously the box and he goes no but if you unplug it plug it back in it's fine again

I'm like right you know what you're right you know what you're right I let him just have it because why fight with him about it. It's, you gotta let our parents have, my parents are in their 70s, let them have the glory days. Yeah. Let them just, this is, you know what I mean? The little nuggets they find and they go, you know what I found out, just go, is that right? Dude, let me tell you about my, my dad's, this is from a few years ago. My dad discovered water. Sorry? And he would call me

all the time and he'd be like, I think you're supposed to be drinking a lot of water. This is a new discovery for your father. He ended, because he was painting the house and he didn't drink water all day. And he ended up in the hospital. Right. Because he was dehydrated painting the house in the summer. And he called me from the hospital and he's like, John Henry, I hope you're drinking water. And I was like, Dad, I drink it all day every day.

That's the thing I like. And now, like, once a week, I'll get a call. He's like, you've been drinking water? Yeah, man. Did he ever get stones? No, he was fine. Because stones happen when you don't drink enough water. And I know young men get it because they're like,

water's and everything. Our office is insane. Our office gets kidney stones all the time. You would think they're like contagious with the way we get them. Well, because they're probably drinking coffee and energy drinks. and not water. They'll always try and blame it on something healthy new

that they've been doing. I think it's like the macha I've been drinking. No, that's not. Dude, it's not. It's the way we live our lives. Right. Well, you're talking about young,

the office has got to be filled with young kids, young men who are addicted to energy drinks now because that's the new shit. Are you on this? No, I'm not anymore. You pass that, right?

Yeah. I've never enjoyed them. I had them like, I remember when Red Bull became a thing because Bobby drinks them, I don't know, what do we give him three a day? for a day

something like on the show yeah what do we give him he's a bottle yeah we do we have to feed

him brother if we don't remind him to eat food he will forget though sometimes we'll do the show it'll be 9 p.m. and he's like

I haven't eaten all day I'm like do we need to call you to tell you to fucking eat food he does sneak food into his energy you do

you do you need to like shimmy it towards him to go you should have some but he drinks I was like crazy I keep telling him you're gonna get

you're gonna get stones or something or something is gonna upset in your stomach because it's you're not There's no water. It's just all acidic

bullshit. But the caffeine, I've never been able to do caffeine. No coffee. No, I don't do coffee. I don't do soda. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. No soda? No soda. You go to the movie theory and popcorn you know how it's water? What do you have with popcorn? Water? Water? I just... Your dad would be proud. Yeah, yeah. Well, I guess he didn't

notice. It's how my mom raised us. All we ever drank was water. No soda ever. It's not even like, with the soda, it's not the caffeine. Water, I can't. I'm sorry, with coffee, I can't drink. the caffeine, I get jittery and all that shit. Soda, I just don't like the feeling of, like, liquid sugar on my teeth. Right, well, it's disgusting, but it's so

good. It's the main reason to go to the movies. A hundred percent. Dude, I couldn't agree more. Popcorn and soda and snacks are the thing I like, I look forward to almost as much as the film. Yeah, it's almost, it makes me go to the movies less. Because, like, if I'm going to go to the movies, I'm going to get a huge popcorn soda in candy. And it's like, what, I'm going to sit there and

fucking watch the movie, like some schmock. I'm there to pig out. And it's like, I can't go to three movies a week. Otherwise, I'm going to get fucking fat. Yeah, it's dangerous, dude. But a water with popcorn, I've got to be honest with you. I lost just a little bit of respect for you just now. Just because that seems diabolical. That's diabolical.

What about with pizza? But I'm also... Pizza? You don't have a Coke with pizza? Brother, brother, brother. I don't even understand you right now. I feel bad. I feel like I'm not doing it right, but I can't.

I don't know. I just... Yeah, we're really pissed off. Yeah. We're not happy with this. I look forward to, like, if I'm going to get... like a good slice of pizza I look forward to the

the Mexican Coke Coke in a bottle as much as the pizza itself really the pairing is literally perfect it's as if they engineered it specifically for pizza popcorn burger Coke is like held on high this is this makes a lot of sense you don't eat fast food I don't not eat fast food I don't really eat it so much anymore

but I ate fast food if you're gonna rip a McDonald's order what is the what is the fast food you will eat I'll eat any fast food I don't eat it very often but I'll you don't have a favorite um Wendy's probably like Wendy's Spokes what are we talking spicy chicken. McDonald's. And if you do, you've got to get a Coke.

Yeah. McDonald's Fonter. Oh, the DP. So let me ask you, where do you send on the Diet Coke? You know, I'll have Diet Coke. If I'm out at the bar and I'm not drinking, like, I've been supplementing it by just having, like, a Diet Coke instead of having, like, beers or drinks with people. And I do that only because I don't want all the sugar in regular Coke. But I know you can only have, like, one.

Because after that, it's like, what are we talking about? Yeah. It kind of cancels. Well, there's no sugar. It's like, but you had five Diet Coke. I made it my New Year's resolution this year to start liking Diet Coke because I was getting sick and tired of everyone

talking about how much they liked it and being like my little sip of happiness so I drank it every day until I liked it. It took 27 days for me to become fully addicted to Diet Coke and now you're in Now I crave it like every day Addiction works dude

It's like if you want to know how long it takes the chemicals to overtake your body It's about 27 days Well what about Coke Zero? Are you into this? I didn't try it So the Europeans prefer Coke Zero over Diet Coke. So when you ask for a Diet Coke, because we went to Europe three times on tour this year, and when you ask for a fucking Diet Coke, they're like Coke Zero.

And you're like, well, do you have Diet Coke? They're like, yeah, but you don't want Coke Zero? I'm like, no. We like Diet Coke. They like Coke Zero. Really? Interesting. Coke's more like fake Coca-Cola.

Diet Coke has its own intensity. She's her own girl. She's independent, dude. Coke Zero is trying to be a hot girl, and she's just not. it, Diet Coke is like, she's got tattoos. She'll go out at night alone. She was the mater D today at lunch. She does whatever she wants and you can't tell her shit.

She's a boss bitch. Coke Zero is a fucking phony. No, I need to quit it. I need to quit because soda is probably my worst vice, but it's something I don't think I can ever let go. Honestly, until this conversation, I don't know if you guys have seen the commercial about like Pepsi and a pizza or whatever. There's a commercial that goes around of like... Nice try, Pepsi. It's like Domino. People delivering and then Pepsi pulls up right after and I was always like no one eat drinks

Pepsi with pizza this is a disappointing well are you serious? Yeah, I did you're a Pepsi guy? No, no, no, but are you saying specifically Pepsi or soda in general? I didn't know like soda with pizza was a thing I mean that's that's you guys should switch chairs. I can't I don't want to be just close to you dude What about when you're a kid and you go to a pizza party? Correct literally just little pizza slices and so eating pizza and being in a playpen isn't a thing either. I just thought that is for a little bit. We're not okay with this? We gotta stop going to that McDonald's play place. We're having a good Saturday night.

We're having way too much fun in the balls. No dude, when you were a kid at a pizza party, you drank, but you had pizza and coke. For sure. And that didn't carry over in adulthood. Good for you. Yeah, no, I guess I'm proud of myself. I don't think pizzeries even sell water. They didn't just sell soda.

They're like water for your hands to wash. Usually I just aspirate and they just spit in my mouth. That's sexy. All right, I want to give you water. one quote real fast. You just reminded me of when I did take a couple of photos. I try to enjoy the moment, not do the photograph thing. But in the Churchill Museum, the one photo I did take that I loved was he had a couple of great, there was a couple of great quotes on the wall. Well, this one was, well, hold on, hold on. That was an Oscar Wild quote that he had written. Oh, this is a wonderful

quote. And I want, dude, I wanted to put this on something. I almost texted this to you because this is like one of those art nerd film things to write before the movie star or the television show begins you know like what's a quote and it said Churchill we are all worms but I do believe that I am a glow worm and I was like you fucking bad motherfuckers dude that's a great we're all worms but I do believe that I am a glow worm very ambitious being a member of parliament was not enough for him and he so his whole thing was like he was one of the fastest to ascend you know in Parliament. And I think the way he did it was also, he kind of was so cocky that he kind of changed the rules. I mean, you learned a lot about him. He drank, he drank every lunch. Every lunch he would drink and then take a nap and then wake up and then get right back to work. And it was kind of criticized at the time that it was like, I don't know if we should have you drinking right now. Let's drink at night. And he's like, no, I'm going to drink at night. But I'm going to drink at lunch. And I think he did it so, he was a functioning alcoholic. He did it so well.

People were like, maybe this is what we should all do. Because he was a genius about it. And he smoked cigars, but he never smoked. Do you know this? No. Most of the time, he never lit cigars. And if he did light them, he never really inhaled any of the smoke. Really?

Yeah, he was a cheuer. He was one of these guys that kind of had it in his mouth often and enjoyed the idea of an almost burnt out cigar. You didn't read any of this stuff? No, I didn't get you to read a little more. I didn't catch that one. Yeah, I was fascinated because I thought the cigars. He died, Google this, but I think he died at like 90s. Like, he died, unbelievably long for that era.

And I thought, how could you drink every day in smoke and then die so late in life? And then there was a whole thing, 90. Yeah, 90 years old. And there was a whole thing about him never really inhaled, or even inhaling it in his mouth. Because most, obviously, you don't inhale in your lungs. But he wouldn't even let the smoke on his mouth. He loved the idea of cigars and the taste of the flavor and the smell more than he liked this, this consummate. He was just a man.

He was just a man A man who lived to be 90 in an era where nobody did I will die much earlier than that And I don't smoke 80's kind of my I think 80 I can smell 80 80 yeah I think 80's kind of a dot Right around yeah if I make it to 81 I'll be bummed

I've always had 93 in my mind for myself Well that's because you're sheltered Yeah My mom tells me I'm right You live forever my love I've never pictured myself older than like what I am right now Oh you didn't even think you make it here

I've heard you, Tupac? I've pictured myself older, like, in my 30s, but I've never been, like, older than that. How old do you think you are right now? Ah, great question. I was actually talking about Stoppy with this recently. Yeah. I used to think I was 24, and I, like, until, like, a couple of years ago. And now I think I'm, like, 60.

Oh, you do? Yeah. I, like, kind of came out of being a 24-year-old, and now I'm just like, I'm a grandfather. I'm perpetually 30. Really? 30, for some reason, was a magic number for me. It was, like, one of the greatest birthdays of my life, like, the time of my life was there. So in my mind, I'm like, I'm 30.

I've always been 30. Even though I'm 42, I'm like, no, no, I'm 30 years old. 30 is kind of the perfect age to be forever. It was, because you're just enough out of your 20s where you are making some money and life isn't as crazy as it was when I was 24 and I was, you know, eating fucking spaghetti at the laundromat every night. Like, that's gone, but then you, I wasn't successful in my career where it was like I was home free.

You still had to work. Yes. So it's kind of this, like, perfect balance of both worlds. Also, my birthday party was- You guys are making me looking forward to turn 30. I'm worried about it. It's gonna be huge, dude. 30, like 30 is the best. 30's a great number.

You're mature, you're young enough, but you're mature enough to not be totally stupid anymore. Yeah. You can be an age forever. You're edging into adulthood, but if someone was like, an often older person is like, how old are you? And you're like, you're like, you know, kids? Yeah, yeah. It's great. Once you get into your 40s, people are like, oh, you got a 401k?

You got a life insurance policy? You're like, I do. And it's sad that I have one of those fucking things. When's your 30th? April 29th. What are we, about six months? What are we doing? you just had your golden birthday how what am i a fucking astrology you just had the golden birthday

is a big deal yeah yeah do something for it or no no i actually went to go see a play uh it was like the fifth play i've ever seen i saw the uh what is it the bill bar one bill bar oh glen garry glen ross did you like it it was pretty good no like it was a no i know you can say no i i like he's not here bill bill get in here i i just thought it was going to be like longer or something i i don't know what i was expecting like because it's like two two, it's like two sets the whole time. And I was like, oh, surely more is going to happen. No.

But I do like, you're sort of saying like before about how you like watching live sports. For me, this is maybe sick. But one thing I like about Broadway shows is that they could mess up. Oh, yeah, yeah. Like, oh, you go see a movie, you watch a TV show, you know it's a clean product. Like, seeing a live play to me is like, maybe someone's going to miss their line. Oh, that is cool. Well, that is like all, like that's just like sports too.

Yeah. Like who is going to fuck up and who's going to become a hero? Yeah. Who's going to shine? Who might get a tweet out after this? Yeah. Dude, that's actually very interesting, the element of fuck up. It's kind of why, like, I do stand-up.

We do stand-up is like, stand-up live is better than anything taped ever, forever. Film specials are great. Taped stand-up is good, but it'll never feel the same. Soder once said that. He's like, yeah, because you're getting it live out of the tap. You're getting it right from the tap. Yeah. When it's unfiltered, it's like podcast, you're getting it from the tap versus, like, packaged performance.

There's so much surrounding it that it kind of. kind of takes the... Yeah, it's less raw. Yeah, it's just not as... Oh, what the fuck was that? You're never going to get any of that. When you do your special, when you film it, white noise, like, was that...

When you're filming a special, are you sick of that material? Is that when you're done with it? I don't know how other people feel about it. Yeah, you hate it. You're like, you're almost... Sometimes when you tell it, you're like, fuck you.

Like, as you say the joke, you're like, shut up. Start heckling yourself. Like, after you say it, you want to be like, boo! Yeah, comedy is such a fickle thing anyway. When you first find a joke, it's like the most beautiful feeling in the world. And then as you do it and perfect it, quote unquote, or get through it, you do start to like, it's, yeah. You know what I requite it says, like, when you first meet a girl that you're, like, super into, and you start to see a different side of her.

And then you're like, I don't really like that she does that at all. That really bothers me. And then by the end, you're like, we should break out. That's shooting is special. We should break up. I can see it, like, seeing people in the crowd laughing, like, hard. and you're like, I didn't want you to laugh like that. Yeah, yeah.

Well, the funny thing that happens when you do anything. And even like your show, there's things that you think they're going to like as much as you like it. And it turns out they like the other thing more. And you're like, why did you like that? Yeah. You didn't like the thing that I thought was fucking awesome. That's the hardest part is letting go of, in all creative stuff, letting go of the idea that they're going to like it the way you like it.

And once you get over that hump mentally, start to be more freeing for creating shit because you go, fuck it. I just, I, they might like this, they might not, or they might like this as much as this other thing, but I can't care. I used to care so much. And then you just don't care anymore because you're like, whatever, dude, I'm just going to keep making shit and hopefully you'll like it. And if not, I'll make more shit.

Do you care that like, like, that's going to stick with me. Yeah. Well, because your 20s in creating for me was like young comedy. It's a fucking nightmare. It's a weird, emotional grind. And then you put yourself against yourself all the time. and then you grow old enough to go, all right, dude, I don't fuck it. I know I'm good at it.

I've lasted this long. I can't dictate what you're going to like. I'll just tell you what I think is good. And then, you know, Louis talked heavily about that, about, like, bombing incessantly when you go, when you're with new shit. But he's like, I don't, that doesn't, I don't care. Yeah. I'm figuring out if I like it. Right.

You're going to, you're going to take your own path. But I'm figuring out if I like it. And then if you, and if we both like it, then it's perfect. Then we're, yeah. But, you know, there's shit that we were, we were, we were test, Bob tested out of couple of new jokes to Louis. And we were trying to do, you know, like, just like random thoughts of like what might work. And it is funny, what clicks in your mind versus what clicks to other people, unless you, unless it's just a perfect joke. Yeah. Unless, unless it's like anything

norms ever said. We're like, oh, that's just like the perfect fucking joke. But that's, that's, I think the lesson in all this shit is like, we'll figure, we'll see. That's why it's great to see live shit because you're like, what is going to come out of this fucking nonsense? In here, we pull whistle. Hey, fall seems like a big reset because it is here. Back to school. Back to school. Busier routines. The kids got all sorts of stuff going on. You're getting busier. I'm getting busier. How do you get the meals that you need easily without having to run to the grocery store all the time? That's why Factor is here to help you. Support your wellness goals. Factor meals are amazing. GLP1 friendly meals and new Mediterranean diet options. You like what they do with

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Ginger. I like genders. When you're doing like a show, like with Dave or someone, that yeah are you if as long people like it are you happy are you like no that was the good joke no i don't care about that anymore i just want it to be i just want the total package to be nice i want the whole thing to go like oh that was a good by the way i got a compliment the other day from uh black dudes are the best fans of like of anything but this black dude was just like man that shit was so motherfucking funny man i was like thank you so much and then all these other whites

were watching me get praised by this man in line and it just does something to you like you see that whites you see how he handled that he was so nice and cool about it it can be done people it can be done no yeah that I don't care about that anymore

about like what it you just want the whole thing to feel good like I don't have the ego of like why didn't I get more lines or why I don't fucking give a shit about that if the whole thing is good how that happened like I don't understand how people like, I want more lines. Like, well, what's going to mess up the show?

That's not how the show goes. Why would you have more lines? Ego is hard, you know? Like, how long have you guys been working together? I mean, a long time, but like, only like closely like a year. Oh, yeah, it's coming. Right, dude, it's coming.

This whole fucking like, oh, what do you like that? Maybe we should do, da, da, da. Now, here's the thing, both me and John, like, we're terrified of other people being mad at us. You're scared of that, right? Yeah, yeah. So we'll avoid a confrontation at all the time. People pleasers at the highest level.

the highest level. All I care about. It's good, but it's also very toxic. Yeah, that's all. We were in the Uber over here, and I said, I think he's going to get mad at me. No way. I was like, I don't know what's going to happen, but I'm going to get canceled because he's just going to get really mad at me over something. You're a sweetheart. You're a sweetheart. Tommy thought he's going to get canceled for being boring on the way. No chance. You're a America's sweetheart is something I dubbed myself for instance. You're America's sweetheart? I did a reality show at Barstool, and I started calling myself America's sweetheart, and it caught on a little bit. It didn't backfire at all. Didn't backfire, actually.

No, made a T-shirt myself. And how are those selling? I didn't even attempt to sell it. I just wore it off Amazon. That's so funny. He's so scared of adoration and hate that he's like, we won't even sell the merch. He's build merch for yourself.

It's literally just for me. It's actually pretty fucking brilliant, dude. This one's just for me. That's actually a very smart idea. Just to make merch for us and not sell it, we should do that. And never make them want it even more. But then never give it to them. That unrequited merch love.

that we all have. The world of not making anybody upset or hoping that people like what you are putting out, it all goes away once you fucking... It's just you stop caring. Oh, I'm fully stopped. You don't care.

I don't give a single fuck. It's really hard. You still give a fuck. Oh, I care. But I care like... I get out of an Uber and I'm like, I hope that driver likes me. Did this guy like you who just drove you guys? No.

I don't think he did. No, he didn't care for us. I don't think Uber drivers ever like when people are talking in the backseat. You know, like, you don't want to hear. But are you guys chatty with the Uber driver? What kind of Uber passenger are you? Are you a chatty guy?

No, usually no. I've had like, I do feel like maybe once a year you get like a heart-to-heart with an Uber driver. And do you remember that? But for the most part, especially if I'm alone. I'm just, my headphones are in. We're not talking. I've had a couple of really good heart-to-heart's. I do.

I let them dictate it. If they want to start being talkative, I'll talk. I don't start it. But I very much enjoy talking Uber drivers. It is fun when you get put in a position where you get to play a character. I oftentimes will make up just. an entire world view you know like I'll do what do you do it's like oh I'm in tech oh you go full full made up yeah why not that's a time to be I get to be that's my little play in the back

of that car I get to just become something that I'm not I do I used to do it on airplanes a lot because I didn't want to tell people that I'm a comedian because of like sheer self-hatred and embarrassment you know and so now I'm a little bit more known so a lot of times people will know already maybe but that used to be a fun game when someone the best part about an Uber is they can't really see you yeah and my name is not my name on my profile and it's not my photo either so I get they don't really see you get in

they see you get in and then they don't think much of it so most of the time I still get to play that fun little game do you get that feeling acting because I that's like I think why I like acting I feel exactly what you're talking about sometimes but acting is so is so um coordinated and laborious I mean you do the fucking take after take after take

so that kind of wanes sometimes of the like the fantasy of it all But this is great because it's live. It's one shot. You know what I mean? You could mess up. You could mess up. And you do.

I thought you said you were in tech. Roll, roll. Open the door. But I do get to play characters a lot in the car. I do love that. Lying is just fun. But none of it's harmful. It's always like fun.

Like I get to pretend to be somebody else because that's more interesting in my mind than saying I'm a comedian. For sure. Ironically, I'm sure they would like to know the stories of a comedian. But I'm like, no, it's cooler to be. It's cool to be Jim from fucking Westlake Village and my wife just left me and my kid got a full ride scholarship for

water polo. It's fun to be that guy. That's way more fun. That Uber driver is much more happy to be talking to Jim rather than Andrew Santino. He doesn't want to some fucking comic. Some loser comedian. But the but but but but but he's like

Caesar special like wow Jim's doing pretty well after that divorce this guy changed his name and everything. His wife is like that's Andrew Santino he's like that's his pseudonym. I met Jim. He's a tech guy from Westlake Village. I think you get, and then you give them something to have fun with because then I also play into, I will be very agreeable and play into their reality. Oh yes. So if they say something out of pocket, you have to go along with it. You can't disagree with them. You're in their car. Oh yeah. So if they're like, yeah, we got to get all

these fucking immigrants out and you're like, right on, brother, let's fucking round them up. Like, open the trunk. Let's round up. You're like, you have to go with their madness because you're like, I'm in this guy's car. Yeah. I can't. This guy could kill us. The idea that we're in a stranger's car and if he snapped could just what was the movie what happened to aunt diana or whatever remember when she was driving with her her she look at that movie whatever happened to aunt something she was driving with her niece and nephew and in a moment of sheer whateverism fucking crash the car and they she was sober what is it there's something wrong with aunt diane and they tested her blood they did they did she had no psycho analysis that would prove that she had mental

issues. They were like, this is an anomaly that she literally just snapped one day out of the blue. Really? It's fucking crazy. It's a sociological experiment like you wouldn't believe. Take a walk to the airport tonight. Take a walk. That reminds me of 38 miles. Louis's joke

about girls go crazy. What was it? Girls gone? Girls gone wild. Girls gone wild. It can't be women gone wild because when women go wild, they just drown kids in the tub. They kill men and drown their kids in the tub. Yeah, kill men. By the way, Girls Gone Wild, shout out Girls Gone Wild.

University of Colorado, Go Buffs. One of my favorite times of my life was meeting a girl at a bar who was on Girls Gone Wild. Really? And she took me home. Pretty great, dude. Wild? It was a bummer. It was actually a bummer.

She was not really fun. She was better on the show. I kind of looked down on the Girls Gone Wild. You know, it's amateur smoke show shit. Right. Well, for someone of your status. Right, right. The way that you get to judge.

We're mere peasants. We're cowering. Where did you go to college? Fordham in the Bronx in the Bronx yeah what'd you go I went a little bit everywhere I didn't I didn't graduate I love this story yeah how many schools did you go to it depends what you counting and what you don't community college no community college I went to probably seven probably seven colleges seven yeah but it but you're figuring it out yeah seven's a lot seven's a lot but like that's counting like I studied abroad in high school so I technically had went to University of Rhode Island but I was in high school at the time where'd you go study abroad in high school University de Salamanca God, I don't even know

that's a real Where's Salamanca? Like a two hours west of Madrid, I believe It's in Spain Spain's the best It was the fucking I was there

I like how you thought that I wouldn't know where Madrid is That was very No, I knew Sharp attack on this one When I saw you in London I think you'd just come

from Madrid We were in Well no, flew out of Madrid But yeah We were in Valderama Ah, okay You were in the boss country We were down

Yeah, we were down In Malaga Malaga By the day I took off They had a terrible earthquake and so we landed in London and people were like

was everything okay and I was like it's great flight and I'm like do you not know they just had an earthquake on the coast I was like oh fuck

didn't get up to 30,000 feet didn't bother me in this guy didn't feel a fucking thing this is a big issue with my wife by the way we're about to fly somewhere and she's looking at the weather

a week and a half in advance to find out how the winds are and I'm like babe and if we go we go if we go we go are you like I don't look up weather I don't look up

I'm I couldn't fucking care less it's whatever it is it's gonna happen what's gonna happen's gonna happen oh so it's yeah it's um yeah it's um yeah i don't i just don't i don't know i i think i got a piece of of like a piece of me let that go when i first started touring because i got i had enough shitty flights of terrible weather where once you go through a few that are just atrocious you're like all right i'm that's fine yeah what it is like i had the most famous one i've told this dumb story but i was in indianapolis airport and i was flying back to

I was either going to New York I was, it was a short short flight, not a long flight but like an hour and a half an hour and the weather was atrocious and it was fucking I mean like the wind you can see when the rain

changes directions you're like that's fucking weird it went that way then it went that way it seems like a problem oh dude and you can see out the window and I'm waiting there

everyone's a little bit panic you tell they kept delaying the flight they're like we're going to lay for the weather we're going to hold it's going to get easier and it didn't get any easier and finally they were like we do have to take off if we're going to go the plane will go tonight so they finally bought us on this little thing

and it's a little puddle jumper you know like a one seat two seat and I was really fucked up dude it was bad the take off was this way you know it was one of those where I'm like woo fuck you know and we get up there and it's real wobbling

and everyone's kind of white knuckling like everyone you could tell you can feel there's no noise but you can feel people's like yeah you can feel that and I look over my right hand shoulder and Bobby Knight is sitting there reading a newspaper

cross-legged as if it's Sunday morning. I mean Indiana basketball coach? Yes, Bobby Knight. And this, dude, this. Not bothering, not bothering him. It doesn't even, he, it's like as if, you know, like he's at a boat

at sea, you know what I mean? Like, yeah, yeah, a couple of waves. And I thought, God's not going to take Bobby Knight. No, not like this. Not like this. I was like, we're fucking, we're going to New York. And by the way, it did give me a weird piece of mind to Bobby Knight. It just made me think, he already is old enough to go, what are you gonna get up there

and fucking just let it go they'll fly it they'll be fine I'll do that I'll eye up I actually don't really get nervous to fly but when I used to I would eye up the plane and be like does this look like you know front new like people that would be on the front page of a newspaper is this a plane that crashes yeah like do these look like plane crash

people or not see what I do is I go to the window like a child you know there's always a kid at the window staring out at the plane I'm that guy I'm looking at the ground crew I'm like how how much of their jobs are they doing if you see them go under and do one of these things I'm okay because if they're looking sometimes you see you guys get under they throw the base at the wheel

and then they go one of those and you're like check it though grab the wheel and shake it I want to just check it a little because I had two touch and goes have you ever had those? No we couldn't do land I've had like nothing but great for us touching goes are really scary

touching goes we got all the way down and then they hit and then they got to go back up again because it's just not stable enough to land and that when I was texting my wife going I'm just letting you know I'm not scared of crashing but we might come home because it was Vegas and I was like they might go back to LA

because it was we couldn't the wind was fucking insane sometimes the heat in the desert's so bad if it gets over like 103 104 these heat winds they're these big pocket jumps that you go through and I was like we might end up back at Burbank the heat wins that's when you like feel

the plane drop oh well because the the the the he can look it up it gets so hot and when the wind is heavy and these desert windstorms that they have when it's so fucking hot, I think it just changes the lift pattern of it. So you get these massive pocket drops and you'll have like really unstable moments because of the, it's the heat and the wind combined. And they were telling us it's going

to be bad on the way in. But this was like, holy fuck. That makes, I, I've only ever had like one of those big drops in Florida. So like that makes sense that it's the heat type deal. It's got to be something to do with the humidity. I mean, look, I don't, I don't understand lift as much I should. All you need to know is lift. It's all anyone knows, apparently. It's fucking lift. You got to go out, to go up, to go down, don't worry about it. People love saying the

jello analogy, too. When you have a turban, it's just like you're being stuck in gel. Like, what the fuck does that mean? It doesn't make me feel like that. If you shook the jello hard enough, it would fly. Yeah, yeah. You could take it right out of the bowl. It eventually would at some point. But no, no, that, I've gotten

over the hiccup of that in my life. I mean, I think it's, it's an afterthought. If it's going to happen, it's going to, I'm... You're too young to die, though. You should still have a little bit of caution. See, I think you're right around... Oh, don't say it. No, no, no, no, no.

But, like, I think 30, despite, like, we said earlier where it is the perfect age to kind of be forever. Yeah. I think 30, like, once you hit 30, you're free to die. I got a dissing. I got to disagree. I feel like that's... I feel like a lot of people say that where they're like, I'm not a free... Like, whatever, like, I'm not afraid.

I'm a... Put me on the record. I'm a... afraid to die. I do not want to die. It's literally the worst thing that can happen. It is. It is the worst thing that's it's it's it's it's it's. I'm not like whatever if it fucking takes me like no I'm not like there was a time of my life I was eager for it. I'm not eager for it but I'm not like you're not scared. I'm not like what's gonna what am I going to do to stop it dude? We just talked earlier about dying in a vulnerable way though we always we want to do a sketch

where I had these uh do you know norma tech do you know what those are no they're they're like leg sleeves that you put on they fill up with air right and i got these as a gift for when i had my when i was injured and i was i was i was like oh the pressure relief in your legs feels great they fill up with air they're big puffy it's stupid athletes you seem like lebron wearing yeah they love them but i do them at the house at night and i was i was uh talking to my wife about how funny it would be if somebody broken and robbed me with like these air puff leg and we're thinking about all the vulnerable ways to die where you're like this i understand the idea is like i'm not okay to die I just know if it happens, it happens,

but I just don't want to, there's certain ways where I'm like, don't do it now. You know what I mean? Like, stepping out of the shower, you're like, come on. I got one. I don't want to be naked.

Don't be a prick, God. Just kill me regular. Yeah. One of my schools was Florida State University. Love to hear one of my schools. And I went to school, I went to Tallahassee. I went down there,

and I didn't know anybody down there. And I do one person, but he already had a roommate. So he hooked me up with like a friend of a friend, and we had this dog shit apartment complex called Villa Cortez Apartments. Shout out Villa Cortez Apart. on Jackson Bluff Road.

Still standing, I imagine. It is. Go look up the reviews of this place. It's not good. And it was this dog shit, I'd like to read a couple of them. Horrible apartment complex. And I got, I moved in,

I bought myself a brand new TV through the TV case, box outside, whatever. Two days later, I'm taking a ship. This is 2008, so I'm on my Blackberry. I'm playing Brick Breaker, and I just hear my front door get kicked in. Oh, yeah.

And I was like, huh, Adam doesn't usually open the door that loud. I'm fucking home So I get up from the brick breaker And I have my pants on my ankle still And I waddle to the door And I peek it open And there were three men in masks in my living room

Oh come on in Wrong house guys I just locked the door Put it back down And sat down and just sat there I probably kept playing brick breaker And I was just like I don't know What these guys are going to do

But I just hope they don't open this fucking door But I was picturing myself getting like either beating up on a bowl of my own shit or shot or stab guys let me flush before you kick the shot before you shoot me yeah you guys could go take whatever the fuck you want just don't leave me dead

they got the TV didn't they got a TV and the laptops they just left you like they didn't go yeah they never did up on him but rookie rookie rookie rookie move not cutting up that box and putting it up and somebody else's what the cops said when they came the cops were like they were like I didn't even think about it I was like they told my new TV and they go do leave the box outside and I was like yeah I did

and then they were asking me it was actually straight out of Superbad too where they were like it was a black cop and a white cop and they were like what call it you get to look at the guys I was like yeah and they're like what uh and I was like 18 filled with white guilt and I was like ah

it's Obama here too and then the black cop just goes kid did he look like me or you look like him and I was like well they looked like you sir that's so funny one of my buddies in Chicago got robbed in his apartment and they tied him up with his with his computer cable

really soda you ever hear sodas no soda when he was at university Arizona right now he was UA he's one of loser ASU guy over here at ASU guy Harvard of the West dude ASU has my favorite story ever of Dustin Padroia when Dustin Padroia was still at ASU and Barry Bonds came for an alumni game

Barry Bonds had no idea who he was he goes who are you he goes I'm Dustin Petroia he points up to the fucking records he goes I'm the guy who broke all your records to Barry Bonds Bold move Bold move, Padrella Hey Dustin How many

Splash home runs Can you hit in San Francisco Dude well Padrault that was why Pejoria was Padraoi He was such a cocky little fuck That is pretty badass He had the same thing in the 07 World Series After he went deep in game two in Boston

Trying to get into Cores Field For game three He couldn't get in, he didn't have his press pass or whatever His credentials And they went where you're credentials, he goes, my credentials will still bounce him down Mass Ave. Get the fuck out of my way. Wow. Padrella.

He's the best. I kind of like him now. I still hate him. Well, he's a boy, Boston. I'm a Yankee fan. Yeah, I was just going to say, and I'm so sorry about what's been going on with you right now. Listen, we got a few games left. Didn't you get your shit pushed in the other night?

It was like two days, two days. 12 to... It was 10-1, 13 to 7. God bless. That 13-7 was a blowout. It was a fake. It was 12-0 and they scored off nobody. Yeah.

God, that's okay. It's okay. Do cups? Cubs fan? I am a Cubs fan and we play in a couple hours and, you know, look, we don't think that this. You gave up six runs in the first. We sure did. Milwaukee's a phenomenal baseball team. So is Toronto. Toronto's pretty good, although

the NL has it this year. I'd be willing to put my name on that. There's so much strength of the NL. Between Philly, if it's not Philly, if it's not the Dodgers, and it won't be the Cubs. I'm saying that as a like diehard Cubs fan, we just don't have the depth but Milwaukee is dangerous, but Philly and the Dodgers are

fucking unreal. They're both unreal. I mean the Dodgers are a magician team. That's like what a kid makes up. You know when they interview like Little League kids, they're like, who are all your favorite players? They're all on the Dodgers. I've never had an MLB the show team as good as the current Dodgers are. It's actually pretty

fucking amazing. They're kind of like what the NBA has started to do when they create super teams. But the Dodgers did it pretty organically in the way where they got guys who may have kind of come off of like an okay run somewhere else and they rebirths them again. I mean, Mookie Betts is probably the best acquirement the Dodgers have had and I don't even know how long it's just there's certain times when you go wow how do these teams how beyond the money how are they able to really finagle some of these fucking deals to happen it's I kind of think that sometimes with like streamers like with Netflix like when they got you and I'm like that was already on another channel and no one cared about that yeah and then you just did a great job of rehabbing it or whatever the fuck it is yeah you just you found out he's got to throw his cutter more yeah well yeah that for that foreseem dude that's fucking something to behold well no the Yankees are the Yankees are still going to be uh

you're going to still be okay but I think even if you go through man you're going to have a tough time with those fucking Dodgers but everybody wants to see Yankees Dodgers. I'd like to see that we all want to. I'd like revenge for last year we all want to see that because that's

it's the greatest tale in sports is east coast west coast it's it's almost like sports wants that as bad as it is happening it's like this is what we want to see. They don't want Brewers Mariners they really don't do that no they really don't it is funny when we do get a Super Bowl

or a World Series or something of two teams that you go there's always the thing of like well we're bringing new fans and new markets will care nah let the coasts play each other everyone else shut the fuck off

I think the Super Bowl everyone will watch the Super Bowl but like baseball I opted out of the Rangers Diamondbacks 10% years ago not a real thing this one's not for me

yeah not a real thing but when it does happen in a Super Bowl you will still watch but the interest is different for some reason when it's a team two teams in Super Bowl you're like I don't think anybody likes any of these guys When football in particular, if you're not invested in the sport,

and invested in the teams, I find it to be a pretty, like, not boring sport, but there's a lot of times when I'm like, I can watch a Bengals-Browns game. I'm like, what the fuck? Do I care about it? Do I care about it? A random NFL game more than I could watch a random game of any other sport. I agree. Interesting. Like, well, so I put the-A-TV is my number one TV.

Live or TV? I would, you'd have to pay me to go to a football game. I hate going to a football game. Wow. Yeah. I love a good live football game. I love a live event of any kind. I'm exactly like.

Baseball is my favorite live sport to go to And I will watch two teams I literally hate But I love baseball that much That I do not fucking care I just love live baseball Yeah But I'm talking about baseball I can see myself doing that By the way, have you seen Ephis?

Ah The movie Ephis? No. I recommend it. Ephus? It's like E-E-E-F, yeah. You know this? No, E-E-P-H-U-S.

It's a baseball movie that I think just perfectly captures the spirit of baseball. The whole thing takes place in one day It's a men's league team playing. Anybody I know that's in it? Is there anybody? There would be people.

It's made, it was a big enough movie. Okay. Probably you, yes. Mark it down? One of the gangster guys from Uncut Jems. Uncut Jams. We'll watch it. Bill Spaceman Lee has a cameo in it.

Oh, really? Yeah, he's like an old man sitting on the bench watching the game. Do you know who that is? You don't know who that is, do you? Yeah, that's funny. Recommendate this brings me to a, this is a phenomenal question because me and my cousin got into an argument. Nah, discussion about it last night. Side note, watch back.

battered bastards of baseball. It's the best sports documentary I've ever seen in my life. Battered bastards of baseball is by far the best sports documentary. What's it about? Bing Russell, Kurt Russell's father, owned a independent league baseball team. This is all a real story. And, you know, Kurt Russell could have been a pro baseball player. I did not know that. Wait to see this movie. His father owned a, his father was a famous actor on Bonanza. He died like 120 times on TV. He was a plumber actor, as it were, where you just kind of work and work and work never got rich, but never was poor. And ended up buying an independent league baseball team back when the major leagues were trying to. kind of squash out independent leagues it's maybe the most powerful thing i've ever seen

really it's fucking me and the way brothers did it chat uh what's it good their their their band is called chapman way the way brothers now do like 30 for 30s and they do the untolds and all that stuff they're that's those guys yeah you'll notice it because the music is very similar in all these it's brilliantly composed anyway better bassers of baseball my next point because we got into talk about this last night because you made me my cousin goes we had an argument back at chicago him and his buddy's best sports movie of all times and I go sports across the board and I said this is hard

because you're talking a movie that like centers around the game you don't I mean like a Hoosiers for example where they all have a message but a game is a lot of it or something where the game is tertiary but it's still a part of the film so I actually

I'm I process to you before I for whatever reason I love sports I love movies I don't like sports movies holy shit something about it's like you two shouldn't me It's like I want to watch sports, I want to watch a movie, I don't want to see you guys mix. So you hated the blind side. I kind of did like the blind side, actually.

I like the blind side, I like a miracle. If you got an argument here, remember the Titans? I haven't seen it. Haven't seen it. Like Coach Carter? Coach Carter. Rudy. Rudy, I hated as a kid.

That's because you don't like Notre Dame. Yeah, I guess. That was the problem growing up in Chicago. You either love Notre Dame or you hate Notre Dame. There is no in between. Really? Yeah, 100%. Because Chicagoans are either bred to love Notre Dame because it's right there.

Or you are just thoroughly against it because of all of the love that they get. All your dumb friends who like them for the reason. It's because everyone in the Midwest has to have, we're, we all just want to fight the thing. So we're like, if you like that, I fucking hate it. Why do you hate it? They're like, just because, dude. So many of my friends that don't like it, it's because they fucking hate Notre Dame. I mean, I watched it when I was like eight, and I think I was just bored by it.

I don't know if maybe I'll rewatch it. But now I don't really like an order name. So no sports movies for you at all? Well, I said, like Mike is... First time I ever did Whippets, I was watching Like Mike. Really? Yeah, me and my friend, we were probably in like fifth grade. Whippets during Like Mike? Yeah, we were doing a double-header.

I was doing acid during Space Jam. We went back to back. We went Lizzie McGuire movie, then Like Mike. And in the middle of Mike, he was like, you want to go upstairs and do some whippets? And I had no idea what they were. And then we did some. I didn't care for him. I want to be friends with you when you were a kid. That's a cool guy.

Drinking soda with your pizza problems. Yeah, back when you were normal. Drinking pop like a human. So what do you think? Sports movie, what do you have? What's my favorite? I got, I'm interested in that theory. I've never heard that before.

I'd like you to spoil that further. Like sports, like movie and... It's just, I don't know. To me, it's just like two different... I think what I like about sports is sort of like we said, the unpredictability. Like, who's going to win the game? Like, sports movies pretty much know how it's going to go. more or less.

Sports docks, on the other hand. Those I get into it. See, that's why you like battered bastards of baseball. It's a doc. It's a true story doc, and there's no frill. It's just the story. That's why I love that.

I think maybe it's like, you can't write a fake sports story that's as good as the real sports story. Well, this is interesting, but what if the story is based on a real story? Well, so, like, I like Miracle. Right. But like, that's just, you know,

I'm American. Remember the Titans? My number one with a bullet for sure. I think a lot of sports movies do end up being pretty cheesy. So I think that's why I'm probably, You're saying Field of Dreams was cheesy? If you do build it, dude.

They will fucking. Right, they're all, like, I was watching. You know what I was watching recently? Hurricane, which I don't think I would really count as a sports movie, but has sports themes to it. And even that. Civil rights film more than anything? Yeah.

But in that, I was like, yeah, this is kind of more, it was more cheesy than anything. It really was. These guys want equal rights? Fucking cheeseball. It might have been just because, like, young Denzel was making me think of Remember the Titans. But, like, there was part of it. where I was like, yeah, this is a little kind of like Disney movie

rather than hurricane. Well, I voice my opinion as the greatest sports movie of all time as He Got Game is unequivocally the best. I haven't seen it. Me neither. I haven't seen it. I'm mad at both of you. Now I am mad at you.

Fuck, I knew what's going to happen. You're right. You were right. God, I made it to 324. Ray Allen, Denzel Washington. It's Spike Lee, right? Brother, how have you never seen? He Got Game.

Ray Allen. Jesus Shuttlesworth That was his name in the movie Like you weren't really Well that Jesus Shuttlesworth was his name In the movie but it's it is probably one of the great He Got Game is so fucking good It is

It is about as close to a real story As it feels Like when I was a kid The big movie was Um Uh uh Oh man I'm done Oh dude I'm having a brain an yours

What's the um the basketball movie for the kids from Chicago? Hoop dreams And um that felt like the most real version of hooptrims in a fictional tale because it does really embody this

this is what these kids go through when they go to get recruited and how they're kind of manipulated by people around them and it's so good also blue chip Nick Noltey Shack you haven't seen this?

No what about raging bull God guys Raging Bull no no no but listen I was in the right fucking studio I said it all like sports move

We've skipped over Rocky, and that's... I have seen Rocky. Yeah, I hope so. We've skipped over Rocky. The color of money. The color of money, yeah. I like Money Ball. Moneyball was another.

My cousin said that was one of his top. Moneyball's for sure one of my top, but I have the issue with Moneyball that everyone has, and it's very fair. Hold on. What? You hate Jonah Hill. No. No, the story of Moneyball doesn't make sense. What do you mean?

The movie doesn't bring up the fact that, like, they're... It doesn't have anything to do with all that stuff. stuff. Like, yes, that all mattered. They had incredible starting rotation. It was Miguel Tejada, whose name isn't mentioned in the fucking movie. Right. It's fucking Barry Zito, Tim Hudson, Mark Mulder. Like, their names aren't mentioned in that movie. Yeah, that's interesting. They talk about Scott Hattabberg, the whole fucking movie. Well, they wanted to make the movie about Billy more than, it was about him. Right. It was more of like a piece on him than it was anything else. And I completely understand that. And I get that Billy Bean did flip baseball and I think ruin American culture in the process.

I like you again I'm back but the it just I think you have to at least mention that those guys were on the team sure you have to mention that a fucking MVP candidate was on the team you have to mention that three side young candidates were on the team

yeah it's gotta come up at some point yeah you're leaving out a little bit well what they're doing is creating more lore I mean lore is what sports are about yeah you want to make the even when in those stories aren't true about some of these athletes you do still want to go along I don't care sometimes if they're not true but like you hear these kind of

like tall tales of athletes before us, the stuff that they would do. I don't care that, you know, like, Wilt slept with 100 women or whatever, whatever, no, a thousand, thousand women, I mean, 10,000. Yeah. And you're like, I don't care that that's, that sounds absurd. It's, it's a story of lore, right? And Babe Ruth, beer and hot dogs. Not also, probably not true. Do you know what I mean? Like, all these things are probably not true. Like, I don't care. I still enjoy the fact that they're, and it builds the lore. I have an argument. The fish was this big, dude. Well, I have an argument that I've been working on that I think you're going to like.

It is that every sport should only have three stats. Every sport should have three stats. Because we have too many stats now, and it's ruining the lore. Sure. Like, everything is, like, it used to be like, oh, he hit a ball 700 feet and all that stuff. And now I think sports have gotten too much, like, video games or, like, just math in general, where there's so many fucking statistics for everything. I'm like, I just need his batting average as home run and his RBI's.

And I'll figure it out from that. Well, it is crazy when they do, like, a way. awards voting based on like the Sabre metrics like they'll be like well like he actually should be the MVP or the Sayung because like his metrics say he should have been this good sake no we have the stats to say how good they were I get using that to build a team where it's like I want to go find value and a guy in a trade or free agency or something but when you're like looking at it as like an evaluation like we've got those stats yeah like I get I get this but I also do think then you leave out things like show hey's 50 50 like you leave out things that you go it's impressive

because it's not it's it i know you mean that but i know what you mean it layers on to something where you go write it i do not like it when they throw in stuff that quite frankly i'm not interested in i mean i but they do that because everyone wants everyone wants recognition like someone wants a number for everything it's the only way that they'll feel seen right because a lot of these guys are like well i'm done in three years so can you put my fucking war up there yeah see my line drive percentage it is true it is kind of like like you do want that something to hold on to because athletes when it's over you do kind of see how they still really pine for the thing and they're like you know i used to be able to and you're

like i know but you're fat and you're 50 now like it's fucking weird to watch guys that used to like admire you're like oh you're like a fat old guy and so if they don't have those numbers it just feels like they weren't there how does how does that work with comedy like the institutionalization of like sports like when guys get out and they're like i don't even know what to do with my life do you see that with like comedy comedy a lot of comics a lot of guys want to be like cemented and remembered forever like a lot of guys want you know their specials to be like their you know their their their catalog or whatever i i i tend to be a little bit more self-hating in the idea that like i'm here for now and if you like me great and i'm fun and i just want to

have fun be funny make stuff until you tell me to go away and you don't care about your You want to be for God. Yeah, yeah. Well, you will be. You're a grain of sand. You don't matter. Legacy, I think, is kind of bullshit. I completely agree.

I just don't give a fuck about that. It lasts for a generation. Yeah, maybe. And by the way, most people who are legacy, who do have a legacy that is grand, they usually, at some point where we turn out, you're like, that guy kind of was a piece of shit. Yeah, yeah. It kind of doesn't matter. I mean, I think legacy is a false, it's a false narrative, like that someone is perfect or good or we're all. we're all up and down flawed so just enjoy the moment while they're here and then

in fucking 100 years this all this this dude this you think this is no okay they'll remember they'll remember they'll remember this I think I remember reading Conan I think he's like whatever he's on like the New York Times or something like that he was talking about just how his career went yeah and he was talking about after the Leno stuff where he just kind of had to have this moment of realization where he's like dude you know what all graves go unvisited yeah so just move on and I'm getting cremated so it's even more

fucking number. I can't disappear me into the sky. Who was that guy? Fine, dude. Who gives a fuck? I've always thought like, we've got to start like emptying out some of these cemeteries, right? Yeah, we got to dump them, yeah. Yeah, we got to dump them, you're right. Yeah, I mean, after a while, there's nobody

left to visit you. Well, especially out by you guys, dude, the East Coast is nothing but semis. Oh, we just got to go. This is so got to go, too. Every time you go from the airport to the city, you're like, Jesus Christ, so fucking cemetery. The one on the way to LaGuardia is nuts. It's unbelievable. It's like six miles.

You're like, get rid of this, dude. It was like a pretty weekly activity. I thought that was like a normal thing. As a kid, like maybe once or twice a month, I'd go, you know, visit your grandpa in the cemetery. It's like, that was awful. Yeah, one of the worst things in the world. Cemetery's make no sense. Get rid of them.

You go put a rock on the stone so that they know you were there. I hate that. I hate that. We had, my mom's weird. And we had a Christmas, not tradition, but one year she tried to start a new tradition where we went to the cemetery. We were drinking at the time. and we just drank and sang

Christmas carols to our deceased family member's graves one of the most fun Christmases ever It was fucking awesome Check this out You could have just done that At the House

And just thought about them No we had to be You gotta be in a field of dead people To really get to the feeling of it This is some old school Like you got a sheet at they're dead Know they're underneath you And you black out

You have to sing. We were just standing there, like, 20 family members, just passing around a bottle of whiskey, drinking champagne. That is a beautiful moment. Oh, it was unbelievable. Truly, it was one of my favorite Christmas memories. Imagine if you're the family member that was annoyed, it was like, guys, shut up.

Like, I'm here, I'm trying to rest. You guys pissed me off the whole time I was alive. You've got to do it again. I say, I say cremate it. In the words of my grandfather, my hero who died, he goes, Land is for the living. Oh, I like that. You don't need to, this is not for you.

I'm very much a cremate. Land is for the living. this is not for you. That's insane. I haven't thought about it yet. Too afraid to get there. Good luck on that flight home. By the way, boys, I want to say thank you. We flew by this, but it was very fucking fun, and I thank you guys for coming. Plug once again, just so people can watch.

Les Mascos. On YouTube. Everything's out now. Out of order, YouTube. Everything's out. Seven episodes. They're all out if you're listening to this. It's gone.

It was honestly, it was really fun to make. It was a really cool process for us. And it's gotten really good reviews. People really like it. You're going to do it again and again and again. I hope so. Yeah, we think so. I definitely hope to.

We'll put the link in the description down below. Please watch it. I think as long as we keep making stuff like this for the fans, I hope that's how the cycle can continue. Because we're not looking to make $150 million budget. This was a shoestring budget. This was a shoestring budget. They're just trying to make something for the peeps.

You know, I was talking to Pabs as a director of this, and he was saying that we maybe didn't market it correctly early where he was like because it looks really great he's incredibly talented the director and cinematographer and all that and he's like he's like tell people that only four of us made this he's like everyone's been like oh it looks beautiful he's like just tell it so it's four guys five guys running around New York who made this and we had honestly god I had time my life making it so well watch it I hope you watch it four adult men made it four adults four guys four guys watch a lot of help from other

people but mostly well watch it link is description below we we end the show the same way You look into that camera, and you can do it at the same time or separately. You do one word or one phrase to end the episode. One word or a phrase to end the episode. It's going to be cemented in history forever. This will go into Smithsonian at some point. I've said that, and it will. I can't think of anything else, so I'm just going to say it.

What? Anal. I was going to say to the people in 312 who are watching this, it's the only thing that's made it. This isn't even a phrase, but it's the only thing that's made it is this podcast from 2025, so I'm glad you're watching a thousand years around. I guess, yeah. That's good.

I don't know why anil came in my head. I think it's your fault, to be honest. And I've got to be honest with you, that's going to come back to bite you. Why? You'll see. Oh, no. I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

In here, we pour whiskey, whisk, whisk, whisk, whisk. You were that creature in the ginger beard. Sturdy and ginger. Like that hers, the ginger gene is a curse. Ginger's a fugitive. You want me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse. Ginger's, oh, hell no. This whiskey is excellent.

Ginger. I like gingers.