Whiskey Ginger with Andrew Santino - Logic

Episode Date: May 5, 2023

Andrew Santino sits down with Platinum selling recording artist LOGIC to talk about stories of his wild childhood, his first love, his rekindled relationship with his father, and so much more. Let's dig in! #logic #whiskeyginger #andrewsantino #podcast ========================================================== SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS SUNDAY LAW CARE 50% OFF YOUR 1ST BOX https://getsunday.com/whiskey AURA FREE 14 DAY TRIAL https://aura.com/whiskey MY BOOKIE USE PROMO CODE: WHISKEY FIRST DEPOSIT BONUS UP TO $1000 https://mybookie.website/WhiskeyGinger ======================== Follow Andrew Santino: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ https://twitter.com/CheetoSantino Follow Whiskey Ginger: https://www.instagram.com/whiskeygingerpodcast/ https://twitter.com/whiskeyginger_ Produced and edited by Joe Faria IG: @itsjoefaria Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What up, Whiskey Ginger fans? Welcome back to the show. First time joining the show. Welcome to the show. Got a good one today. It's Logic. My man Logic is in the studio doing his thing, looking fabulous in his Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat robe he got on,

sprinkling the studio with color and good vibes. He's so funny and so cool. And I am on tour being funny and cool with Bobby Lee. Come check us all over the country at badfriendspod.com. You can see all the dates, all the tickets, badfriendspod.com. Enough rambling from me. Let's go to the episode.

In here, we pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey. You're that creature in the ginger beard. Sturdy and ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are pugilistic. You owe me $ ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are beautiful. You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse. Gingers are hell no. This whiskey is excellent.

Ginger. I like gingers. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Whiskey Ginger. My guest today is one of my favorite people on earth. I say that for all my guests, but I mean it once again. Today, it is Logic in the house. Hello. Bobby T. What's up, dude? How are you? how are you great thank you for coming through thank you a little bit of

pappy uh is running through our brain veins our blains our veins right now thanks to uh my boy whiskey pete dropped this off um the 15 year the old man smoking a cigar if that doesn't speak about the south the old white guy smoking a stogue. I bought that for Aaron Judge. For the judge? For the judge. Are you a fan? Are you a Yank? Are you a Yank fan?

I guess technically because he's like one of my biggest fans and so nice. And him and Ryan, my buddy Ryan Callahan, who works over for the Yankees, they pulled some strings and I got to throw the first pitch. It was really awesome. And was it good though? It was, oh, it was good. What are we talking? Heater down the middle?

It wasn't heater down the middle, but it wasn't lame. No, it wasn't lame. It was not whack. And I'll never forget as I was so nervous. I mean, you have to be, that's absurd. Cause it's like- It's not what I do.

Yeah, exactly. It's not what you do. You want me to rap? I'll fucking rap. I'll rap on the mound, bro. Yeah. But I was like, oh man, I was a little nervous and my wife was there and all my friends and it was amazing.

I mean, I got to like make beats on the field before anybody came. It was one of the greatest experiences of my life. And it really made up for the fact that I couldn't play sports because I couldn't afford the jerseys and stuff and like the fees that it costs to be on a team. I just couldn't do that. It is. And you know, I grew up on section eight didn't you as well yeah well when i when my mom was single we did we lived in subsidized living because uh my mom didn't want to get uh child support from my old man she was like fuck that i'm not getting money yeah she was like no no i'd

rather live broke without then try to get money he didn't have any money anyway so dude this is already i'm feeling it's nice good jazz um suffice to say it was a blast and i was walking to the mound and this guy up in the stands i look over he goes hey logic i go what what i look over and he goes this is new york city if you fuck it up they will boo you and i was like oh shit and i'm like walking to the mound and he's right though, huh? Isn't that funny? It was scary. Cause then they're like, welcome Logic.

And you just hear all these people cheer. And then you hear a few people go, fucking boo. Don't fuck this up logistics. Yeah, it was scary. But I did it. I did it and it was great. And once that was over, I could really enjoy myself and drink. Yeah.

And then party. Right. You had to be calm. Well, I mean, look, not to take a shot, but you know, the worst of all time was 50, 50s. Have you ever seen 50 cents? It's like the worst thing I've ever seen. It's pretty bad. I'm not trying to start a rap beef.

No, you are right now. So you heard it here. Logic and 50s first pitch. I actually met him once. He was so nice. Same. I met him one time when I was a PA years ago. He did a movie for

this movie uh studio that i was a intern for and um he was at the party afterwards and i kept thinking how wild it was to see this dude in a suit who had been shot in the face nine times talking to these executives in hollywood like shaking hands and being sweet and i was like but that's growth and maturity i know it's great it was it was just beautiful to watch i was like this dude is just so crazy man but you had actually asked me and maturity. I know, it's great. It was just beautiful to watch. I was like, this dude is just so crazy, man. But you had actually asked me about this shirt because I wear, it's funny that I'm wearing an Alcoholics Anonymous shirt

as I'm drinking bourbon. Yeah, that's exactly, well, you know. But the reason why is because I'm a kid who grew up in the program because my parents were both addicts and alcoholics. And so I actually have a song that I just wrote about this on, and now my release called College Park.

And I talk about addiction and how I saw that growing up and it kind of scared me straight and I didn't really start drinking till I was about 27. And it's because of the program that I have a healthy relationship with it. So that's why I wear the shirt. You do Al-Anon? Do I do it?

No, I was there. You did it, did it. So I was like, no, like with my mom, with my dad, saw it. Would go three times a week to meetings, the dances. Don't get me started on Alcoholics Anonymous dances. It's not really a pretty sight. I mean, all these people dancing and there's no booze or drugs anywhere. Yeah, no, I know.

I'm just kidding. No, no, you're right though. It is weird. You're like, how's everybody vibing? My dad, prison when I was a kid, addict. And so I grew up seeing it as well. It also is the reason I stay away from drugs, drugs. You know what I mean?

I like to poke a little smart, but other than that. Me too. Yeah. Mushrooms, but like, yeah, my dad liked drugs. When I was a kid too, I got to go to some of those meetings. I didn't like them because it associated with like trauma from my childhood. Yeah, it sucked. It sucked.

And the people were always super invasive and asked a lot of questions. And I was a kid and I didn't really like because it associated with like trauma from my childhood so I suck it sucked and the people were always super invasive and asked a lot of questions and I was a kid and I didn't really like any of that stuff either shout out the program is great for people I just I just didn't like to I just didn't love being honestly kind of scared me straight that's really that's what it really is right I just I saw it and it brought me a lot of pain every time I had to go because it's like, we'd go on Thursday, but my mom's getting shit faced that night. Before she goes in.

Yeah. You know what I mean? Or after this or that. It's, you know, it's a, it was a wild, it was a wild ride, but that's, excuse me, that's addiction. You know what I mean? It's, it really is a sickness. And, and I had to like learn that as I got older.

Yeah. You know, even like just seeing it and witnessing it, I don't know, man, it just did something. It made me appreciate. For sure. And your old man is, I mean, you have a relationship now where you, now you guys are posting on the internet together all the time and having this like growing,

loving thing on the internet, which is fun to watch. Yeah, that literally just happened though. But it's great to watch. Two weeks ago, yeah. That's great though. I hadn't talked to him in forever you're right it is it's fucking amazing first thing my dad does

I let him back in my life I call him we're calling back and forth we're talking I say dad you know the last time I put you out in my life is because you stepped

across the line I keep drawing lines and you keep stepping fucking over him and I'm like just don't ask me for money man like don't ask me for money and he's always like trying

he's like bring me on tour and da da da last time when I was talking to my dad he asked me for money, man. Like, don't ask me for money. And he's always like trying to, he's like, bring me on tour. And da, da, da. Last time when I was talking to my dad, he asked me for a million dollars. And you gave it to him. Fuck no, I didn't give it to him. He said, I want a million dollars. He said, for what? He said, for my band so that we can buy a house and make music in it.

Oh, okay. Exactly. I'm like, what? Nah, man. So I asked him once we, you know, get back together. And I was like, listen, please don't ask me for money. Can we just like fucking throw catch or some shit?

Yeah. And he's like, all right, all right. This motherfucker flies in. He's not there for six hours. He's like, I need you to buy me a truck. Immediately. And then that goes into, I need you to pay all my bills. Yeah.

And then I'm like, dad, no. But we had this, and I would always get angry. So first and foremost, the reason my dad is back in my life is because there's a 50-year-old version of myself whose dad has passed. And he's looking back like, damn, I wish I had the wisdom to at least try it again and set new boundaries or in a different way. And so I thought about that looking at my own son. And I was like, you know what?

I'm going gonna try this. And so when he asked me for all that fucking money again, I just said, dad, why are you asking me that? Like instead of getting mad and doing what I've always done when I was younger and just get on, take this first class plane ticket back home and get the fuck out of my sight, like and all angry and stuff.

I was just like, why are you asking me that and he goes i don't know and i said that's the best fucking answer you've ever given me in my life like rather than trying to come up with some bullshit or make me feel bad for my success and da da da whatever he was just like i don't know he's like i just i want to leave something for your little brother so So after my dad, my dad had me in 1990, got a vasectomy. And then five years ago, somehow knocked up this woman. It came through. Yeah. Strong.

Crazy. She died of a heroin overdose, but his stepmother now, her name is T. She really loves him and takes care of him. And I got the idea. My dad has always wanted to do music with me. He's always want me to do this, that, and a third, X, Y, Z, all this stuff. He has always wanted to do music with me. He's always wanted me to do this, that, and the third, X, Y, Z, all this stuff.

He's always talking to me about money. And in that moment of me just asking him why, I got the idea to do an album with my dad. So we're working on an album right now. That way I can educate him, really teach him about the music business, black ownership, publishing, fucking leaving that legacy to his little boy and i'm gonna set all all the money is gonna half of the money is gonna go

into a trust that i'm gonna create for my little brother in his name and then uh the other 50 of the money is gonna go to my dad he can do whatever he wants and then uh for his contribution even though i don't owe him shit i'm gonna give to give him a nice, cut him a nice check as a thank you for his services. And bro, we've already got like five records. They're amazing. Really? They're actually really crazy good.

Now I'm very excited. Now what does he do though? Is he- He sings. He sings any place? African percussion. You know, he's on Congos and shit like that. And yeah, he vibes.

He's wild, man. My dad's a crazy guy. Is the process with him similar to when you work with other artists or is it so different that you have to like move to a different place in your mind? Like, is it late night sessions with him? Is it during the day?

It was what we could get. Cause we were only supposed to hang out for like four or five days. And well, we did only hang out for four or five days, but my brothers came on my dad's side and they're twins and they're 43. And so, and so and they're like you know they're doing great now holding regular jobs but they you know they're from the streets running around bussing guns and selling drugs they sold crack to our dad like wild shit they keep it in the family though you know for

sure keep that money circulating what a bar um but yeah man so i brought them out and we all just really reconnected not i can't even say we reconnected. It was like the first- First time. Real connection as men. And it was so special. And I got my brothers rapping. I'm gonna give them publishing.

Oh, shit. It's a family affair, man. I already got the album artwork. I found this rare, my father showed me this picture I've never seen of him as a child. And it's like five years old, black and white, 60s, fire car behind him, like top hat,

you know, beautiful little black boy. And that's gonna be the cover. It's gonna be amazing. That's dope. What's it gonna be called? Do you know? I'm not sure yet. That's tough.

I'm not sure. I have an idea and I might talk to you about that. Off camera. Okay, good. Then that's when all my fans go, new Logic album, such and such. Right, new logic album right right right and it's like bro i don't know when this is coming i don't know how it's gonna do but it's been really beautiful and it's kind of been cool to see and my daddy still asked me for wild shit and then it's kind of just more like all right daddy that's enough yeah but seeing your relationship online is it's just fun to watch because it's

almost like uh i feel like people got it people got a taste of a version of this with drake's dad in a weird way you know when his dad came in his life and he kind of put him out and he put him on stuff a little bit those two together are like infinity stones like if you if you brought my dad and drake's dad together they might blow up a strip club honestly though should though should be should be a reality show you listen up uh any tv network put drake's dad and your dad together because it's it's but it's cool to watch that relationship because what you just said kind of struck a chord not to jump back but honestly i've had this moment now that i'm you know almost 40 it's like i've always been like man why do i want to reconnect

with my dad reconnect reconnect and do the thing because it's been hard over the years. And then I have that moment where at night I go, well, I don't want to die. I don't want him to die. And then me go, damn, I should have said X, Y, Z to him. I don't know why I didn't just do the thing after these years of childhood resentment. You know what I mean?

Therapy gets you to a new place. But for me- Shout out therapy. Shout out therapy. I'm trying to make space in my mind and my heart to be like hey man i'm a grown man you're a grown man maybe we need to redevelop this which we're trying to do last time i was home i saw him and i'm seeing him more but you said that to him like no because like that no because our conversations are it's we so different. Is he like a hard ass?

He's just, he's just, he's. Is it hard to speak to him? Yeah, maybe. Yeah, for sure. Because, because same for you. Like where I come from, nobody does this. Nobody does this. This is crazy. I'm an entertainer in comedy and like.

It doesn't exist. They can't rap, you know, to my dad. It's like, you're doing a movie with Kevin Hart. What's he, what's he like? Give me, what's his thing? What does he eat for lunch? You know? And it's like you're doing a movie with kevin hart with what's he what's he like give me what's his thing what does he eat for lunch you know and it's like i don't know man it's like hard to and it's not me just being disrespectful to him it's like i don't think i'm special i just think it's hard to connect because his world was chicago the streets chicago chicago the streets growing up as a street kid and nobody was in fucking entertainment so i'm trying to talk but i'm learning how to do it as i get older because a lot of people deal

with this of like reconnecting with their parents and how do you do it it's why i want to do an album about family yeah like that it's that you know how lame that would seem if i was 20 i'd be like i don't give a shit i just want to rap and you know look cool yeah get high and have fun yeah whatever you know but now as a man which is weird this is like i'm 33 i'm a fucking man i got a kid i got another one on the way yeah congrats by the way thank you very much and i think about what matters most and it really is family and i think the reason i always felt like it wasn't is because i never really had it but now that i look back in retrospect i always did because even my friends that were there and are still here to this day they were my family bro right they were there for me and it's kind of a odd concept

because you think about blood like no blood is your family but you know my in-laws are like the parents i never had in many ways and And we're not bound by blood. You know what I mean? Like, I know that's like, duh, but it's like, we're not related. But once I married this beautiful woman and we had this baby together, it's like, yeah, you are. You are bound by blood. Even though it's transient, it's not their blood in you, but it's through her to the

kid. You know what I mean? That's real. Yeah. That's a real thing. That's still the bond. By the way, that's an interesting that you say that because my dad always says that blood the blood thing always for him he's like that's blood you never forget that's blood to you that's blood

and it's always what about like the the father who uh i don't know molests his uh children yeah it's just is that cool is that cool it's like no you know that's your dad yeah because i can't tell you how many times people are like that's your dad like you can't do that or my mother who used forms of sleep deprivation on me or like the wildest shit that like she went through and experienced and she did she said like the craziest stuff to me and she put me through so much hell and it was like psychotic like it was literally bro would keep you up for days at a time Not days at a time but all night She would like I'll just never forget She would just make me stand Or sit in a chair

Cause it did happen multiple times And she would just sit there fuming Not saying anything to you Not saying a fucking word And you're how old 11 Cause I gotta go to school Or not 11 i'm like

10 because then she took me out of school to homeschool me but she just taught me hooked on phonics and how to drink a lot i'm sorry but that is all good that is wild it's pretty funny hooked on phonics and how to drink yeah so it was it's just like what that woman put me through um was terrible and i look at my son and i'm like how could anybody ever you know treat somebody that way and um in the throes of addiction then you understand yeah for sure ah no i mean there's a lot i don't understand sure but i the thing i do understand is that she was mentally unwell yeah and she was an addict and And so I go, all right, with that information, it still hurts a lot,

but I understand that this woman is ill. Yeah, she's sick. That's how I, I don't say, when I say things about my childhood, about my dad, it's always like, it's not an excuse, but it gives, it sheds light on why certain things happened. I don't use it to be like, well, you know, he's an addict and I wouldn't do that, but i would go well this makes sense i don't i may

not fully comprehend it but i do see how these things connect for sure that you just disappear and when you're young you don't know when you're a kid you couldn't do it what the fuck let's go fishing man shit why don't you want to take me fishing dad it's like it's a real shit i actually interviewed my dad because i'm starting a podcast. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm getting it ready. Nobody really knows about it like that, and I'm excited. It's coming.

It's coming. And one of the guests is my dad. See, I want to do my dad. I never had my dad on, and I want to do it, but that's heavy for me. Yeah, but I also think have the talk first. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever you're feeling that you have yet to say to your dad, do that first. For sure. For sure. Because you don't want to somehow somehow do that here and then you're on camera shit and it's just maybe it doesn't come out the right way or maybe he says some wild shit oh no he will yeah

i'm like dad look at that camera and say sorry yeah no but yeah family shit makes you who you are you know and i i think um i think that's something that's going to be really special because there's also so many sides of me and i think that's a side that that the world hasn't really seen you know as a rapper who's been doing what i've been doing for the last decade that's all i've really shown i've definitely shown people me i've shown them like oh yeah i'm fucking biracial like all this shit i like i like anime i like star wars like and fans have connected with that i think they've connected with the fact that in many ways in my, I've been an outcast or didn't really fit in and they felt that way in their lives.

And I think that's what makes me, me. But now that I'm stepping into this new realm of like, like I'm not here to promote anything today. Yeah. That's what's awesome though. It's like, you know, making these amazing rounds on these awesome podcasts with amazing people like yourself this is what i want to do now i just want to be me i want to be a personality i want to have fun and i want to um show that side of me but i think some people don't get the bit

sometimes well yeah which is funny because like i'll do some podcast like i'll do a podcast and like maybe it's a little more serious. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like if I was like going to sit down with Obama, I wouldn't be like, check out this chick's ass. Like, you know what I mean? He might though.

He might. Uh, look at that chick's ass. No, but you just say something. You're just like, ah, beautiful woman. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You correct yourself.

But no, do you know what I mean? I think I'm always myself. And if you put me at a table with 10 people that know me in different spaces, they would still all see the same guy. Yeah. That's important. Right. But when you take somebody's fan base,

like yours who might not know who I am, or I'm acting crazy wild with Theo Vaughn and I'm like doing my Kaufman, I'm doing like the version of logic that's wild. And I'm trying to make a comedian laugh. It's like, it's different. So I'm seeing how a lot of people don't get that. I'm just joking. Yeah, but that's amazing.

But there's people that aren't going to get it. Do you know what I mean? Fuck them. Yeah, fuck them. I'm rich. Is that true though? It's like the same thing with music. When you make music, it's like,

not everyone's going to like your shit. I think when you're young, you want everyone to like everything you put out dude and then you get older you're like yeah fucking whatever yeah but like i wish i had that fucking mentality even three years ago man like it was uh it came in is my neck fucking red no okay do you feel it now do you feel like you're free now like you're like fuck it man you'll like it if you like it yeah i really fucking do like i really do and i think my fans know that because i used to always like i used to be like my identity and all this and like like respect me

like and i because i fucking deserve respect but it's like bro i have respect i'm respected by legends and music and entertainment i'm respected first and foremost by my fucking family by my friends fuck everybody else easier said than done um but now that i'm here man i really i'm just like bro i wake up every day and like i'm not stressing about shit you know because i used to like it used to it it it does still hurt this much when somebody's like oh you're fucking lame or i hate this guy and i'm like you don't even know me bro like you don't know me. But then I, and I would go in my head.

I'd be like taking a shower and washing my balls. And I'd be like, dude, I've like donated money to people. I've been there for people. I help people. This guy says I'm an asshole. I'm a good guy.

Welcome. And I'm like, why? And now I could give a fuck about that guy. Who gives a shit? Because I spent my whole life wanting to be loved, uh, by everybody. And I think the reason that is,

is because my mom and my dad never really loved me or showed me love so then it became this this like um rat race to worldwide acceptance which is impossible yeah and on that journey i found a way to accept myself and it's dope hell yeah it's a fucking vibe it's a vibe dude as you're by the way as you're washing your balls i've done i know when you're tug By the way, as you're washing your balls, I've done, I know when you're tugging on your nuts and you're like, what the fuck was that guy saying about me?

They don't fucking know me. These moments of clarity when you get balanced, and I do think it comes with age and time. Like at my age now, for sure, I'm like, whatever, man. Fans that love me, love me. They know I put out work. Nobody really knows what you go through.

So you can't try to convince them of your version of your life story uh they are you know you are who they say you are to them that's on that man whatever it is to them that's on fucking them in here we pour whiskey the weather is warm i want to get outside of my yard and play around with my dog. I know you do too, whether you have little kids or little pets. You want to roll around in the yard with them. And what makes that hard is when your lawn is filled with harsh, nasty chemicals, and that's where Sunday kicks in. All right?

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What are you doing? You bet anything, anytime, anywhere with MyBookie. Ginger're an online sports bettor? You gotta use MyBookie. What are you doing? You bet anything anytime, anywhere with MyBookie. Ginger. I like gingers. Dude, but like you know, I had this saying my whole life. I say, persistence, determination, and realism

and wanting success more than your next breath. One could attain anything that they want. Oh, hey, thank you. He's pouring me up a little more for those of you who are only listening. So why don't I just like turn into Stewie Griffin. If you're listening. Persistence, determination, realism, and wanting success more than your next breath.

If you have those things, I really believe that you can attain anything. A key word there being realism, because it's like, you're probably not going to the moon if you're 40 years old and you want to be an astronaut. You know what I mean? So- Probably not, but by the way, if you're out there, some guys that's like trying is like, damn it. It's like, you're probably not going to the moon if you're 40 years old and you want to be an astronaut. You know what I mean? Probably not. But by the way, if you're out there, some guy that's like trying is like, damn it.

It's like building a rocket. You're going to be there. You're going to get there, buddy. You're going to get there. You're going to get there. But realism is a big part of that. Now, what I only realized as of recent is the other thing is being ready. And what I mean by that is I could sit here and say, persistence, determination, realism, wanting next breath you know what that means yeah you've done it yeah anybody and everybody in the

world who is successful not just in entertainment but in any in any life any facet understands that they can and have achieved all the things that they've achieved through sheer fucking determination persistence but there's like a code like i can sit here and say it to everybody listening and watching if you do these things you will be successful but if they don't believe it and are not ready and don't understand like you have to be ready it's almost like um i was telling somebody this the other day but if you're like 20 years old you get your heart broken by by a person and you're like somebody comes he goes oh shit first time and you're like yeah you don't know what it's like man it's like oh you fucking idiot you'll be fine yeah this is nothing it's gonna happen again by the way yeah but it's like

you can't understand that sure because you haven't experienced it and then i think once we as young people who grow experience those things and begin heeding the advice of others and like whoa you said that when my heart got broken whoa you said that when i i blew my whole uh check on sneakers instead of rent and you start to learn and then when people give you advice you don't have to learn through it you can go i've been here before but in a different way i hear what you're saying and i'm gonna i'm gonna heed that advice you have to be ready to accept it right so anyway i don't know how the fuck we got here no i like that we're gonna keep going on these off little tangents and i want to know by the way do you remember the first time somebody broke your heart oh yeah give it to me what was her name say her name her name her

name is christine you know who you are christine and she's so fucking sweet she's like the nicest girl shattered you though no she me, but we were young. You know what I mean? Yeah. We were young. Like she didn't do anything wrong. She just was like, we were growing. And actually like, you want to, this is deep.

I've never actually told anybody this. So we were together for like four years and we met in high school. And we were in school for a while. And then I moved because my mom got stabbed. So my mom, yeah, she was in the park called hit the hard R on somebody, which she also did to me

and my siblings all the time. She stepped out and thought it was all good and then some bitch just yanked her up. It's just not all good. Definitely not. The N word. It's just not all good.

That is not a word. Yeah, no. So she hit someone with a hard R and they shanked her? Oh, yeah. Where are we talking Side Yeah her side

And in her back Got her Couple times Yeah that's my mom And then So I fucking leave My dad Cause I was living

With my First of all I was with my mother Then I went to live With my dad And then my mom Gets stabbed And so I ask him

If he can give me a ride And he's like Fuck that You wanna go live With your mom so much Take a bus I'm like daddy give me a ride and he's like, fuck that, you want to go live with your mom so much, take a bus. I'm like, daddy,

my mom just got stabbed. He's like, I don't give a fuck, I got a meeting at 730. I'm like, okay. So I take three buses, I get home,

my mom's there, she's on my sister's couch and I remember having to clean her wounds, you know what I mean? So this woman's like half naked, I'm cleaning her wounds and the best way to describe it

is like crusted jelly. Yeah, it's like gnarly. Yeah, because the blood's trying to clot over the wound and it keeps opening and stuff exactly and for those of you who don't know my out there like you know my mother has all children with various black men and um the racism that she kind of spewed upon us was extremely systemic uh from her own family when she was bringing little black boys home at 14 years old because she finds black people so beautiful yeah and yet because somebody could be like well that doesn't make any sense and i'm like i know it doesn't make any sense welcome to mental health and illness and you know my mother she was a prostitute she'd been raped and molested since a child i mean she's gone through so much shit that it's definitely skewed her her vision

on the world. But what the fuck was I saying? Cause we were going on a tangent. When she got shabby and you were cleaning her wounds. And so, but no, this is all about Christine. Yeah, no, I'm talking about Christine. So I moved back home and I take care of my mom and she's like back on it and dropping hard R's in no time. No, that's a joke.

A sad one that makes me wanna cry. Anyway. As you're cleaning the wound she's just saying she's like anyway uh no but so through that um like we didn't have a car or anything and christine lived in a christine had a car for sure no she no no she didn't she was broke too she didn't no she wasn't broke, but her family was definitely working class. I mean, she was Salvadorian, had a older brother named Andy.

Shout out Andy. He was amazing. Her mother was just so sweet. And they hated me at first. Why? Because they were like, oh, this is a fucking gringo. You know what I mean?

Like it's the white boy. You're talking about some white kid. Yeah. And then they like started coming around. They're like, oh shit, his dad's black. Like for real. They were like, you know. They kind of like this guy. like this guy for real and then we broke up over some dumb shit and then she started dating like other guys who were kind of douchebags and i was always a really

nice guy so then when she was we kind of got back together then they were you know her her mom would be like oh mijo my son like she'd be like i love you you know because i was i was a sweet kid and yeah i was super in love with her and i think the reason that it hurt so so so actually so there's that and then she would always want to go out and i was scared because like a couple days before i mean i'd been around crazy shit bro like fucking guns and violence and gang shit and all this other stuff but i was always a kid so in a way it was like, it didn't really involve me. Like nobody's trying to like beat up a child. You know what I mean?

Like for the most part, so I'm just a kid. And then I remember the day that all changed. I was wearing an all blue outfit because I liked blue and honestly only had two outfits because I was so poor. And I was walking home. Trust me, this all will make sense. I feel it.

No, go. I like it. I was walking home from school. Well, I was so poor. And I was walking home. Trust me, this all will make sense. I feel it. No, go. I like it. I was walking home from school. Well, I was skipping school one day. And as I was skipping school, this, oh, shit. Excuse me for that. Leave it in. I like that.

Sorry about that. This was fucking whiskey. That's what Pappy does to you. Yeah, Pappy. Pappy. So I'm skipping school. I'm walking home. And this guy basically jumps me, just sneaks from behind, punches me in the face.

And it's like this yoked black dude. And I'm like, oh shit. And I go, like I turn around and I put my hands up. And I'm actually really proud that I got punched in the face. And the first thing I do is put my hands up. But then I look at this yoked ass fucking dude. He definitely was on the football team. Like I'm not even joking.

And I'm like 125 pounds. Like I'm so skinny. skinny actually my mom used to look at me and go auschwitz can you fucking believe that this is a real thing she used to call you auschwitz she's called me back on the train bro get back on the train young man that is not i'm not even making a joke that's wild she used to call you out it was really fucking sick wasn't she thin she was a drug addict you're like who are you to talk no shechwitz. It was really fucking sick. Wasn't she thin? She was a drug addict. You're like, who are you to talk? No, she was like mid. She was a mid drug addict?

Yeah, she's like in the middle. She's like, she'd have like skinny legs and then like kind of like a- A gut? Not a gut. I don't know. Anyway, enough about that.

Okay, go, go, go. So back to me getting punched in the face. So you got jacked, you put your fist up. Yeah, I put my fist up and the first thing I say, I ain't got nothing on me because I'm like,

oh, this motherfucker wants to rob me. Yeah. I ain't got nothing on me. I ain't got nothing on me. He's like, fuck that shit and he me yeah i got nothing on me i got i ain't got nothing on me he's like fuck that shit and he's like trying to fight me so i go in my bag and i get my knife and i whip my knife out and when i go the shit goes and it flips and falls in a pile of leaves and i'm like oh shit i i don't even know what i would have done with that knife anyway you know what i mean it's like i wasn't a violent no i was like i clearly cannot you know even touch black goliath right here like it's not happening so i'm like okay

i just gotta stab this motherfucker i don't know i'm fighting for my life i don't know what's going on and then that happens and then i just like metal gear solid run the fuck out of there you know what i mean so i like turn and i'm running through the woods i'm like i feel like forrest gump and then i go and then i'm like across the street from my fucking uh from summit summit hall elementary where i went to to elementary school and i like hop this fence and then i'm like surrounded by all these kids on a fucking playground and then the the teachers are like what the fuck like who is this 14 year old you know skinny ass kid whatever i was like 16 actually but i still i look 12 like no joke and so they come up to me and i'm like oh oh my God, I don't know.

And my face is all fucked up. Like, you know, it's like, and they're like, what's going on? Like this guy, this guy, he's trying to kill me. And they're like, what the fuck? And I'm like the crazy cat lady from the Simpsons. Like, yeah, get out of here. Like throwing cats and fucking Garfield. And so I'm running and then I run and I escape that situation.

And then I like take this whole back path. Trust me, we'll get to And then I take this whole back path. Trust me, we'll get to Christine. I take this whole back path. I hop this fucking fence. I go to my neighborhood and I just, I'm trying to process everything that's happening. And I look up and I see the fucking guy. He's there.

He's fucking there, but he doesn't see me. And I'm like, he's walking past, like trying to Mission Impossible, like trying to avoid this guy. And he lives in the fucking building right next to mine. Shit. And so I'm freaking out. And that day, Christine and Fernanda, that was our homegirl, knock on my door to like surprise me.

And I've been like freaking out. And I'm like peeking out the blinds like, who is guy like i don't understand what's going on and i open my door after i'm like is it the guy you know what i mean and it's like these two cute little latin girls and they look at me they go oh poor baby what happened and i was like oh you know uh you should see him dude yeah fucked him up i don't know what i said but it was between the truth and a lie for sure sure and so um i go to school the next day and i find out like through whispers that the dude's a blood uh and you were wearing all blue and he thought i was a fucking crip and i'm like crippled maybe compared to this motherfucker like I can't I this dude was

he was it was insane like it wasn't even fair so I'm with Christine on our way to sixth period okay or fifth period after lunch science fucking Bill Nye okay she walks in I'm sitting there and it's like it's like Twilight you ever seen those

movies it's like it's Twilight, like all the kids are moving. Or like Juno when Elliot Page was walking through this thing. You see all these people walking past. And I just see this guy rubbing his face, looking at me. And I'm like, oh my God. And he's mocking me, going, yeah, I fucked you up. I did that to you. And I was like, oh my God.

I gotta get the fuck out of here and i know he's waiting for me so i'm like uh teacher i need to use the restroom like middle of the class and fucking bolt it home yeah and i jet and i go home and i'm like i gotta get the fuck out of here i'm like i i cannot live here I can't be here. This guy wants to kill me. I didn't fucking do anything to this guy. And by the grace of God, my mom gets stabbed. And I have a reason to go get the fuck out of there. That is a joke.

For those of you who don't get the bit. So I'm like, all right, I gotta get the fuck out of there. I go with my mom. I'm helping her out. And this courtship begins between me and Christine. Now, we had a landline. but my mom's always calling fucking, what's the guy from the megachurch? Joel Osteen.

Yeah, Joel Osteen. She's calling him and shit. So I never really get to have it, but we have AIM, A-I-M. You remember that shit? Oh, please, bro. What was your screen name? Do you remember your screen name? Kamikaze6661.

Which doesn't make any sense, but it was- Kamikaze6661. doesn't make any sense Kamikaze6661 What did 6661 mean? That was some like early Triple 6 Mafia 3 6 Mafia Juicy J Shit like Triple 6

I thought it was an address Lord Info Bus Like that type of shit So that was it And I would I would hit her Hit her up And we would talk

And I fell in love man Like I fell in love really hard Because I never had loved And I had never experienced what it meant to truly be loved. And so she was the first person that didn't care if I was very skinny. She didn't care that I was poor. She didn't care that my parents were addicts. She just liked me. And so, man, that was the first time in my life. Actually, I've never told this story. It was the first time in my life where I understood that everything I saw on TV

that I thought was bullshit in movies and all this shit, love. I'm like, fuck that. It's lame. And I finally understood it. And we dated for a few years, had our ups and downs. And the biggest reason was because I never took her anywhere.

And the reason I never took her anywhere is because I never left the house. And the reason I never left the house is because when I left school, I just left school. My mom didn't even stop me. And her fears of the outside world became my fears. You know, there's this Simon Pegg movie. I think it's called like A Fear of Everything or some shit. And I felt like that guy and I was so scared that

somebody was gonna try to fuck me up. Somebody was gonna try to stab me. Somebody was gonna this, that. And bro, I used to do some wild shit. I used to be running around in cars on some wild shit doing crazy. But I was a kid. I was gonna live forever.

Nothing was gonna fuck with me and then it all hit me all at once when you were a young man then it seeped into your system so then christine you know she's getting fucking sick of the fact that she's always inviting me to the movies and i'm like i don't have a ride and she goes uh me and my friends will pick you up and i'm like i don't have any money and she's like i'll pay for you and i'm like i uh i'm allergic to movies and i just i did that for like fucking two and a half years straight and here's like i'll pay for you and i'm like i uh i'm allergic to movies and i just i did that for like fucking two and a half years straight and here's this girl you know she's in high school she just wants to have fun she wants to go out she wants to show off her man she wants to this

and that and i was so scared of nothing like don't get me wrong where i'm from in fucking maryland like it's wild people it was real it was real you were scared of something but i was scared at the possibility sure and i think that's where a lot of fear holds a lot of people back like i was extremely um scared of airplanes i almost bought a million dollar tour bus like fucking john madden or dj khaled right because i was so deathly afraid but i was like fuck that shit like we're gonna get through this And I did therapy and all this other stuff. And now I fly and it's no problem. Slightly elevated fear, I think, more than your average person. But who gives a shit?

Why did planes hit you so hard? What was it about planes? Oh, dude, that's another story, man. Okay. Fuck. Did something happen on a plane? Let me just finish. Yeah, finish Christine.

Super quick about Christine. And so after her, don't forget planes. After that, you know, she was like, I can't take this shit anymore. And I was like, no, like, don't. And then she wouldn't talk to me. I didn't blow her up. Nothing crazy, but she just didn't want to talk to me. And then eventually she missed me. You know what I'm saying? And, and as they do, they do. And she kind of hit me up. And then that's when I was very honest. I was like, you know what? Those few years and why i didn't do xyz it was because this happened to me and she was like oh my god why the fuck didn't you just tell me that and that was a big part of growth as a young man

and understanding communication yeah and xyz and if i had just been if i had been utterly and unapologetically myself which is the man you see in front of you seriously this is who i am who the fuck i am, bitch. Yes, girl. And I don't give a shit. And it's like, but it took a long time to get there. And that was one of those experiences. And she, if you're out there, Christine,

from Gaithersburg High, and your brother and your family and everybody, thank you for being my first love and showing me what it means to be accepted by somebody. I really appreciate that. We love you, Christine. And shout out, Andy. But go by Andrew because you're a grown man now.

Cut that shit out. And he had like a tow truck. And I was like so scared. Like he was going to murder me. Tow truck, Andy. Yeah, it was a tow truck. Your high school, by the way, your high school girlfriend's older brothers,

my high school girlfriend, I was so fucking scared of both of her brothers. One of them was like a thick, thick as shit. He was a thick boy. He was a thick boy. He was a fucking, what's his name from age three?

He calls himself a thick boy. Ethan. Ethan. Yeah, a thick boy. He was thick and they were both very nice to me even though I was dating their younger sister.

But fuck, man, I was so scared all the time around those guys. How old were you uh we met when i was 16 were you boning yeah yeah we was boning dude you know they know oh they know because that's the thing too it's like andy would drop off his sweet little innocent sister yeah she's just getting railed out you know what i'm saying no that's a joke it's it was no andy it's not a joke that was real that's what happened but it wasn't i'm just it was sweet it was nice

clapping them cheeks and no no i was so scared of i was so scared of them because they they had that older brother domineering thing and this is what i have a little sister who i know when she has guys that i'm like, I always have to check myself. Like my mom will say it. She'll be, she'll like be fucking nice. Yeah. Because my immediate reaction is to be like, what's up bitch?

Cause you have, it's like a part of your, the dude thing of my little sister. So I know that I'm trying because they're, that fear that they instilled in me was so heavy when I, when I was dating this girl that I was like, every time I saw them in the kitchen, I would avoid going into the kitchen because I didn't want to pass them and make them be like, what's going on? I didn't want to talk. I was so scared all the fucking time. So I avoided it like the plague, man. And shout out to Laura's brothers. Oh shit, Laura. Laura's brothers, wherever they are. Nice. Yeah. Nothing happened, by the way. We never hooked up.

We never... No, we lost our virginity to each other, and then I traded a bottle of Captain Morgan's to lose my virginity for a hotel room key. You know, I... Wow. That's a bar. Shout out Marco Island, bro. We got to get back to airplanes.

Yeah. I consider the first time that me and Christine had sex to be the first time that I lost my virginity. When the true story. Because you actually lost your virginity way before that? Yeah, it was a couple years before. Do you know the story? I think I've heard you say it. Super long story short, I thought I had herpes.

Don't we all? By the way, you do. I don't. You do, but it's not there. Oh, yeah. Right? Doesn't everybody? Yeah but it's not there oh yeah yeah it doesn't everybody yeah it's like COVID you got it at some point so yeah super long story short I'm at this little party and there's this chick she's like 23 I'm like 15 so I'm like nice but really there's what is she doing kind of weird yeah what the fuck is going on anyway so i got this like 16 year old rubber in my wallet

i put it on she jumps on me does her thing i remember immediately afterwards i was like oh that's sex like i like i remember thinking that that's sex and i went in the fucking bathroom and i like went to take the condom off and just everything just spewed all over the place because i didn't know how to take it off yeah Yeah, right, right. Yikes. And then... You're like, this is how I die. And then like the next day there was like this rash

all over my nads and everything and I was like, oh my God, what is this? I have herpes. I can't believe it. And it was like,

ugh. And then that had kind of cleared up. A week goes by and I'm hanging out with my friends. It's me, two other homies,

little sleepover hangout watching anime, playing video games. And we were watching a commercial and this this Valtrex commercial comes on and it goes one in three people

have herpes and I look at my friends I'm like fuck I'm the one in three it's me dude I was like oh my god turns out I was just

had a thing with latex that latex allergic that's it a little bit easy yeah so back to planes.

Give me the planes. Why the planes? Why are you panicked on planes? I never had a problem. Well, my first ever time that I flew on a plane, it was like to Florida, to this record label that wanted to sign me. It's like 2011-ish. You still live in Maryland at the time?

Yep. Still in Maryland. And I get on this fucking propeller plane. Really? Like a puddle jumper, yeah, down to Florida. From Maryland? I know. That's a long enough flight where they would take a big plane.

And then one of the engines was fucked up. Of course. And they say that. They're like, oh, one of the engines is fucked up. They said it just like that. Don't tell me that. And then I'm like- This is your captain speaking.

One of the engines is fucked up. Yeah, right. So they're basically saying, oh, maintenance issues, maintenance issues, whatever. And then they figure it out. We're there for like 6,000 years. And they figure it out. And then they go, well, the issue was with one of the propellers in the engine, but we got it all worked out. It wasn't the way we wanted to get it fixed, but we got it fixed.

And I go, what the fuck? Did you use duct tape and gum? Yeah, dude. What kind of shit is that? I don't want to hear that my first flight. Elmer's glue., but we got it fixed. And I go, what the fuck? Did you use duct tape and gum? Yeah, dude. What kind of shit is that? I don't want to hear that my first flight. Elmer's glue. Yeah. We got it.

So I was... We got it. So I was a little... I was a little... I don't know why it just hit me. Whiskey ginger. Duh. Yeah.

I don't know why. It just hit you now? You're a ginger. Yeah, that's right. What am I, an idiot? We're drinking whiskey. Anyway. Whoa, shit. Oh my God. Okay, sorry. ginger yeah that's right what am i an idiot we're drinking whiskey anyway whoa shit oh my god okay sorry um so needless needless to say it was it was a wild flight uh but then i was fine for the

next two years and it was sometime in 2013 i was with uh my manager and my attorney paul rothenberg shout out to paul roth the pa Paul Roth, who's a fucking real one and educated me every step of the way. There's a lot of people that like to keep artists ignorant. Oh, that's how they make the most money. That's real. And my team, they always taught me about every point, every piece of publishing, every deal, every master,

every quote, and that's the same thing that I'm applying and teaching to my father and my brothers when I hand over that publishing to them for this album. That's good. just there with paul and paul's like hey man he doesn't really sound like that no but i like it hey man he's like what he's like uh he's like yeah i gotta fly tomorrow what are you doing and i was like yeah i gotta fly tomorrow too he's like yeah man am i right i'm like what he's like you know i'm like what the fuck are you talking about he's like man it's like in a flying metal death machine right and i'm like what are you talking about he's

like you know flying man you're just you know he's like i gotta pop a zan every once in a while and i'm like what like i just never thought about it right and he's like yeah you know it's really it's like how's this thing's even in the air like well lift and i'm like yeah i know and i'm like all right whatever and i pay it no mind and we finish our steak i wake up the next day not hung over because i wasn't drinking at the time which is great because I didn't drink until I was 27, but anyway. I'm on this plane. Shit's cool. I'm already in there.

I've been in the air for like three hours. Where are you going? I'm going to LA, from New York. Yeah. The big one. Yeah, that's a long one. And I'm like, just vibing. And then a little turbulence hit, and just this, you know that sound where it's like ding dong on the plane?

That happened in my head, and it was like, here comes the fear. And it hit me. I was like, holy shit, this thing could fucking go down at any minute. And then there's this baby that's like, wah, wah, wah. And I'm like freaking out. And I'm smoking hella cigarettes. And e-cigs like don't even exist yet. So I'm like fucking like digging into my central nervous system, freaking out.

And I start thinking about this. And I just see like corpses. And like everybody just dying. Jesus. Yeah yeah it's like flight 745 american and i'm just like this is it man this is it this and i felt that way for the next like fucking five years every time i got on a flight every time and you know what sometimes it was cool yeah sometimes it was it was so nice until you hit that fucking like like lost like it's like lost i'm like yeah and the worst is is when like somebody's oh i don't know next to me watching flight you know what i mean there's something like crazy ass movie about airplanes and i'm like why are you watching this right now and not to mention i was not in first class

i always was in the back with the homies because i was like oh no i ain't bougie i'm like we ride together you know what i mean so i would for years and years but i didn't start taking first class flights till 2017 what hit you to change that you were like fuck it i'm good it's not gonna crash um i didn't say that it wasn't gonna crash i accepted that it could but like what's a work bro and it isn't even a so what, because like, a lot of what? I got a son. It's a lot of what? You know, I'm rich.

No, I'm just kidding. That's why your son is like, mm. He's like, give it to me, daddy. I sat next to a pilot, and I'll tell you, the thing that covered me, because I travel for a living, like, I mean, we're always on planes. I just went on a plane from Australia for 16 and a half hours. I haven't done that big one yet.

You're going to. I talked to your big one yet. You're going to. I talked to your boy about it. You're going to do it. But dude, honestly, I talked to a pilot one time when I was traveling a bunch and he goes, he sat next to me, a retired pilot of like 40 years or something. He was a military guy. Then he flew commercial. And it was really bumpy, man.

It was crazy bad. And I've been on flights that were so bad. I've been on a million of those. Hate them. At this point in my career, I've been on a million of them. And I've been on flights that were so bad i've been on a million of those hate at this point in my career i've been on a million of them and i've been on one coming out of denver we were fighting a storm going over the mountains and that was a whole another thing that one i actually was like damn this is bad like and i never get that way uh but a pilot said to be never in the in the in the current history of commercial aviation

has a aircraft gone down from turbulence, simply from turbulence. He's like, that's impossible. It doesn't exist. That science doesn't exist. And I was like, yeah, but what if this is the first time the science flips its head? He was like, it just isn't a possibility. He goes, you're more worried about mechanics going wrong. And I was like, that doesn't help. He was like, yeah, but the bumps, he goes, the bump thing, that's got to go in your mind. He goes, the logical thought is what if an engine goes out or what if I, he's like, that makes sense,

but it's also illogical. But he goes, the logic you're using about the bumps, he goes, that's the, that should be last in line about your panic. I also then understood the concept of what turbulence is in hot air, cold air,

pockets, all this, whatever that, I mean, technically a pilot would tell you there's not really, like pockets don't exist. They don't exist, yeah. But that's just a term that we use.

But I like it because it makes me think, we already did it. Once you feel the hit, it's like, well, it's way back there already. Yep. We're going 570 miles an hour. It's already over. That is a real thing.

But also, the best part is when I start, when I moved to first class, Now you really don't care. Got a little less claustrophobic, started drinking. That's right. That's right. That's when I moved to first class. Now you really don't care. Got a little less claustrophobic, started drinking. That's right. That's right. That's when I started drinking. Why don't you put the sauce in?

Oh, man. Then I'm like, woo, this is fucking awesome. Stay up for a couple more hours. Do some loops. So that was airplanes. And it changed you now. Now you're a changed man. I guess so.

I need to ask you, because I want to know. Eight inches. I'm a big, is it really? It is. Okay, we took a vote online. Everybody voted. It's a Comcast remote control. The polls are in and we have here, everyone voted online.

I asked everyone beforehand. 7.68 was the common, 7.68. So not bad. It's the half black. Oh, Christine, I just got a text from Christine. Holy shit. No, I want to know because look, I grew up a Chicago kid who in my era were close enough an age where we grew up in similar worlds of hip hop in terms of what we liked, I imagine, as youth.

I want to know because I was an indie rap kid. I was an indie. I was a backpack kid. I loved that shit when I was a kid. Yeah, I loved it when I was a kid. That was like my favorite. I mean, in Chicago, I felt. I get the vibe you like fuck with like America.

You know America? Yeah. I like America. Yeah. But my favorite. I mean, in Chicago, I felt- I get the vibe you like fuck with like America. You know America? Yeah. I like America. Yeah. But I feel like, I just look at you and- Okay, I'll tell you what I got into as a kid. I loved Midwest rap. Midwest indie rap kind of started to brew-

It's like Eminem. Yeah, Eminem. But I mean, even more like- Like Deep? I liked Sage Francis and Atmosphere. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. All the Rhymesayers guys. Oh, for sure, yeah.

And all that stuff kind of Shout out Slug and Ant. Love, love, love, love. And that was kind of what I started to fall in love with was going to these indie rap shows. Like these small, there was a place called the Fireside Bowl in Chicago. I don't even know, I doubt it's there. It's been a long time, but it was an old bowling alley.

They turn into... Whoa, that sounds cool. It was a music venue. And that's where I first saw Atmosphere saw uh mediocre and uh idea and abilities and like all these guys oh you know your shit oh come on man yeah we could do we can dig real deep but i but i saw those guys there and that was like my obsession my obsession part of the reason i think my high school girlfriend who i was talking about hated me was because i would bring her to these shows and i think she was like i don't like this shit you know what i mean like the because it was like a cultural vibe that you wanted yeah plus it's also like too many dicks

there's like too many it's all dudes it's all dudes it's all dudes uh but my but but that was my that was my little world of hip-hop was that and then i slowly grew into like you know commercial larger names commercial names yeah for sure uh but but i want to know your um what was your dirty little guilty pleasure of hip-hop when you were a kid like you wouldn't have told anybody chingy i like the way you do that right chingy's the first hip-hop album i ever bought that was the first one yeah what do you think mine was guess it was a tape by the way it was a cassette tape i don't fucking know you know how many goddamn artists there are yeah i know but but i'm 30 oh wait you're guilty pleasure well no it wasn't my guilty my first album my

first well my first record okay that i bought was what year was it i was in junior high so this had to have been what 90 it's like 1930 97 98 97 98 97 98 white or black was the artist

white or black yes was there any white artists other than Eminem around that time yeah who

fucking MC Search so many different people who was rapping but that was before then but there was a lot but you even well I mean

okay agree okay so you even well I mean okay agree okay so you know what I mean yeah they were black group or solo it was a group how many members

that's gonna give it away I feel like no it's fucking you know how many goddamn members there are you got two you got four you got this

you got that three ooh Slum Village no but that's a great guess that's a really good guess okay that's there's my guess that's a good guess so it was west side connection oh joe yeah that was it that's bow down i used to in junior high i just can imagine you though this white ginger who's like

yeah motherfucker blah blah blah me and all my people who i know me and all my friends say friends is that west side connection was my first my guilty pleasure was probably nelly that was my guilty pleasure i know but like who didn't does it no but i but i tried in that era country grammar i know but i was so into like backpack so what that back then it was like nelly you know i mean they did they would everyone was like what stupid is that by the way it was dumb when you look back in retrospect on like who you thought was lame it was bullshit like that it's so stupid. No, because by the way, that record was fucking phenomenal. Yeah, it was one of the biggest records of all time.

All time. Of all time. In hip hop and whatever. Period. Like, bro, what? Country Grammar? So good. And what a fucking fire title.

Country Grammar? Like, dude, what? I know. And he had the band-aid. I had a band-aid. Who didn't have a band-aid? The band-aid made everybody. I was walking around. People would be like, why are you wearing that? Are you trying to be like Nelly? I know. And he had the bandaid. I had a bandaid. Who didn't have a bandaid? The bandaid made everybody. I was walking around,

people would be like, why are you wearing that? Are you trying to be like Nelly? I was like, no. Cut myself. Yeah. I was playing ball.

Someone got, someone put fingernail in my face. That's all that was. What was your, what was your biggest, I don't want to sound like it's an interview question, but truly,

but no, but truly like, what was your, was there ever a record that when you listen to it really made you go i i want this is what i want i want to write like this i want to perform like i want this uh yeah i remember exactly what it was it's how i discovered naz actually um like i had been rapping and shit but when I heard this I was like oh my god it was a New York

state of mind part two from the I Am it's the second one right I know yeah from the I Am album which I think people

kind of shit on I loved it I like the I Am album that's also how I discovered Nas and then you're like oh shit it was written godson

fucking Illmatic like you know what I mean like then then you're like, okay. And you know what it is. Not to discredit that one by any means, but that was like my gateway Nas. That was gateway Nas drugs, yeah.

And I heard that and he was just like talking about being cuffed to the radiator, da-da-da, like just like what I was living. Like the shit I was seeing and being in Section 8 and fucking just,

I don't know. I have like memories of being in section eight and fucking just i don't know i have like i have like memories of being in my dad's tiny fucking kitchen with uncle mike who's like you know smoking and everybody's got uncle mike by the way shout out to uncle mike and i'm like cooking this egg sandwich i would always cook an egg sandwich because we're broke so it's like you got eggs you got bread you got some cheese that's kind of it some butter eggs, bread, peanut butter

yeah yeah you're lucky you have like five things in the fridge you're lucky yeah max so I'm like

I just remember like listening to Nas and like making myself these Auschwitz sandwiches that I had you know that's all I had

fucking mom dude your mom that shit stuck with me dude how could you say that to your son yeah but it's funny dude you gotta give her credit it's funny

she's still alive she is I wish we spoke i haven't talked to my mom in well over a decade maybe this new world with your father will introduce that other i don't think so doubt it the reason why is because it's real different with her sure it's just so different i'm proud of her i've heard she stopped smoking cigarettes she She's done no drugs in forever. She's done with alcohol. She's just devoting her whole life to the Lord. Good. You gotta find God for people. If it works, it works. Yeah, I mean...

It worked for my uncle, my Uncle Mike. That's great. Moved down to Florida, found God. This one's a little different. My mom found God, but like, you know, we're Christian one weekend. She's hanging out with her girlfriend of 20 years. They're screaming and yelling.

Well, before they're screaming and yelling, they're hanging. Everything's great. Then she's like, we're Catholic now because Aunt Carol's Catholic. Okay. So she's just switching denominations like fucking chips at a poker table. You know what I mean? Why not, though? Whatever.

Whatever makes you happy. Play the hand that you want. My mother was like, don't you ever take the Lord's name in vain. God damn it, you motherfucker. That was my mom. And I think I would love

to have a relationship with my mother, but every time I reach out, something stops. Something stops. Whether her phone is off, she doesn't answer, she da-da-da-da-da-da.

My brothers, my sisters being like, don't do it. She's not. Just don't do it. Just don't do it just don't do it don't do it you're good you're over here how many you got brothers and sisters uh i'm one of nine but i'm an only child between only child between the original yeah between my my mother and father so one of nine one of nine yeah you talk to all nine? No. You talk to two or three? I talk to, shit, I gotta do the math. Two, three,

four, five. Five? Five out of nine is pretty good, man. It's pretty good. Pretty good odds. Pretty. Pretty good.

Pretty good. Yeah, that's not bad. Yeah. I got, I have a bunch from my father, but it's, you know, it's different because we're not,

we don't know each other. We're like humans that exist. Yeah. You know what I i mean it's like humans that coexist i wish well upon first i would hope well i don't know i mean but honestly that's like saying i don't fucking know them i don't know them from a guy that's sitting at a restaurant next door it's like i've you ever had somebody like come up and be like i'm your cousin like that's happened to me it's wild i had a i had a i did i had the uh i might be your sister shit oh shit which is fucking nuts was she a firecracker no dude

she was she's half half Latino oh cause my dad is Sicilian hola como estas mi amor como estas my dad is

Siciliano my dad is Italian oh that's not real this is where the Irish my mother's my dad Santino is Italian so

he doesn't we don't look anything alike I mean I couldn't look further away from that guy I look like the map of fucking Ireland but he's a he's a guinea he's a fucking he's a Dago and she was her mother

was Latino or Latin X or whatever the fuck and I think she's close in age to me I just say Latin now it doesn't it's all bullshit I don't know I used to say Spanish, but like, that's like bullshit.

That's bullshit. Spanish. That's like super ignorant, you know? But like when, when we were young, that just wasn't. I feel like Latinos would say it's Latino is not a rude phrase.

I just say Latin. Yeah. Latin. It's like, I don't want to call, cause here's the other thing, respectfully. Here we go.

Let's not get too deep into this. No, let's hit it hard. I don't know about that, but, um, Latino, Latina, then you're automatically

saying whether they're male or female. Oh, right, right, right, right, right. And then it's a whole thing. Yeah, but the whole irony of that language is all based in male and female nouns and pronouns.

So that's the weirdest part about language. Yeah, you mean like language? Yeah, that's the weirdest fucking thing in the world. Anyway. Come on. Hot take.

Hot take. I don't know how facts are a hot take. Anyway. Yeah, no, no. No, no. Dude, you're not stepping on any toes by saying the truth. When you learn a different language, you learn male, female, and neutral, and that's just a part of how you learn language.

This is how I feel. However the fuck you want to be called, you be one you could be one called she her him lampshade i don't give a fuck you tell me what you know lampshade that's what it is lampshade that's my dog that's my guy lampshade yeah so it's like yeah whatever you want i couldn't care less that's but i think most people of our youth of the youth world and i mean that like anyone under 50 feels that way i feel like there's a narrative that people don't feel that way you're like no no no one gives a fuck. Nobody under a certain age range cares.

But it's like, why argue that? Like if somebody wants to be called this and somebody, like look, I ain't trying to be, all right, I'm just keeping it real. Welcome back to keeping it real.

If somebody's down to alter their fucking body and genetic code and with hormones and all this other shit. Whatever you want, man. And they want to piss in a girl's bathroom, fucking be my guest. I piss in a girl's bathroom. Yeah my guest i piss in a girl's bathroom yeah i don't think anybody's out here like making a 30-year plot on how to like completely change everything about themselves

so that they can be weird in another big plot though by the way that's a good movie so jerry brockheimer presents just like man we gotta love each other i don't know 30-year plan i agree with that we do have to i think people We do They just Everybody's angry And everybody has a An opinion And everybody That's why I just be I be out of this shit

I be staying out Well let me ask you something For real This is a good Because I 8 inches motherfucker I told you Okay but 7.68

Is what it said on the internet That's not what it is A lot of shit gets said On the internet It's not true Yeah it does Everything that's on the internet Is true

Every single thing That's uttered on the internet Is true None of that can be false Okay When you When you kind of made a transition To like funny i know that's why i gotta put it in not when you didn't you didn't you didn't uh retire as a weird word but you took a break or

you stepped away for a second i did retire and i said i was retiring but it's not a retirement bullshit it is bullshit i didn't know that yeah you did like a joy you did like jordan i'll be back but you didn't know you'd be back But my point is Not knowing you and then meeting you now You know what would be really great If I could just piss You wanna piss right now

You gotta pee We're gonna be here a while aren't we No we don't have it You know what What do you mean we don't need to end it This is fucking great You gotta be somewhere Yeah man I got a train to catch To Auschwitz No. You know what? What do you mean? We don't need to end it. This is fucking great. What do you got? You got to be somewhere?

Yeah, man. I got a train to catch. Okay. To Auschwitz. Chill. Come on, bro. You did it. No, I didn't. You did it.

Not me. Your mom did it. My mom did it. I just repeated what my mom said. You can't cancel me for saying- Yeah, you're getting canceled. You're getting canceled. I don't want to get canceled because my mom said what she said about me.

She said what she said and you know what she said. I mean, I got time. I got easily another 15 minutes in this chair. But then you pee, and then you come. No, I'm just saying, if I got to piss, I could be here another 30 minutes like it's nothing. But how about this? Okay. Let's do five.

Okay. It's going to be longer than that. Maybe. We'll see. But I'll make sure that you don't have to piss. What were you going to say? When you felt this kind of influential wave when you when you wrote this your song about about suicide yeah right yeah was your mindset then so different than it is now

that when you came out of quote-unquote retirement uh that whole what was happening back then to you makes more sense now do you know what i mean by that did you experience a level of clarity that brought you back into wanting to come out of retirement because back then you were feeling a type of way with your own personal issues and depression and anxiety and anger and go on and on and on and on do you now in retrospect understand why that did what it did to you and why you now came back was there a big leap in your in your life yeah i uh it really hurt when people said nasty shit about me sure and uh it really angered me that i let it hurt me uh it it it angered me that i could be upset why you know

people saying you ain't black or you're not this enough that enough good enough hood enough rich enough successful enough broken up you're not everywhere i go it was just like you're not you're not you're not and i was like yes the fuck i am it's a fact i am yeah look at this look at this look at this no and they say wild shit hope my baby dies call my wife ugly say i don't deserve to live you know and you read these things and you read just hundreds and hundreds and hundreds or thousands thousands yeah and you just see it see it see it see it see it to the point you start to believe it you know i remember joe budden said i was the worst rapper to ever grace the microphone in the history of hip-hop and i read that i have

to laugh it's so wild. Because it's funny. It's funny because it's insane. Yeah, it's insane. But anyway, so shout out to Joe, wishing him nothing but love and happiness. That's a real, not a joke. Yeah. That is not a joke.

That is, that's a lie. That was the wildest shit. I remember watching that laughing. Yeah, so I- I was like, this must be a joke. You were laughing, I was crying. But I thought it must be, I thought that was a bit,

I was like, this must be a bit. Because it's so ludicrous. But anyway, so I saw that. And you know where I was when I saw that? I was in a fucking sold out arena for my show. Sure. And I go on stage because that's what the fuck we do. Doesn't matter what's going on in our life.

Right. With the exception of like death. Yeah. We get the fucking job done. And I went up on that stage and I left it off stage. And every once in a while, mid-set, it might pop in. It's just Joe Budden being like, logic, logic, logic. And I'm like, what the fuck was that?

No, I'm kidding. But I'm on stage and they're singing all my lyrics. And I mean, just 15,000 people just screaming my lyrics. And then i get off stage and i go back to the internet and i'm like i am a fraud i am a phony i am all the things they're saying i i and i start to believe it it's like bro you're in reality and in reality you're in a sold-out arena and so it was things like that that's not it because because that's that's where the you know complex or some lame fucking douche publication that sucks and isn't what it used to be. Because all you do is fucking try to be TMZ now.

Every single one of you out there, you fucking lames. Try to take me telling you a real story and then they'll go, Joe Budden is the reason Logic retired. And that's not it. No, I know. It was one of

a million and i was just like i can't fucking deal with this shit anymore and then people were saying you gotta have tough skin you gotta this you gotta that you gotta do whatever and i was so angry with myself that i let it hurt me yeah and after stepping away for about three years having a child really realizing you have kids no not just wait yeah and then you really realize what matters most and honestly from about 2018 ish to six months ago i was off the internet i just wasn't on it here and there i would tap in a little bit this and that and through therapy i realized things and I've been saying this as I meet cool people like yourself. And I talked to your audience and I'm blessed enough to be able

to talk to your audience. I tell them the truth. And what I say is, is that I learned a lot about myself through therapy. And though I was so angry at myself that it hurt, it's okay that these things hurt. It's okay when somebody goes, I hope baby died it's okay to go oh and i was so angry at myself that it hurt but i realized it's okay that it hurts i'm a sensitive emotional human being i'm a fucking i'm not a machine i'm not a t-1000 over here i'm not fucking schwarzenegger somehow that's there's a hard art here somewhere yeah yeah anyway so it's sch. Yeah, yeah. Anyway, we'll figure it out. Somebody's going to cancel you for that. It's great.

So I realized I was like, it's okay that it hurts. Yeah. And what I'm in control of is how much I let it hurt me truly and how long I let it hurt me. So when somebody says some wild shit, you know, nowadays I'm just like, fuck him. Fuck him. Like for real. And sometimes it could still hurt a little bit, but I'm just like, fuck him. Fuck him. Like for real. And sometimes it could still hurt a little bit, but I'm just like, fuck him. Like I really look at my life.

And that's the funny part of the bit when I go and I do some of these shows and I'm like, I'm fucking rich. Everybody else is broke. I don't give a shit. There's kind of some truth to that, but not like an asshole. It just makes me realize, bro you you spent your whole life facing adversity you came out the other side you're a fucking good guy pat yourself on the back yeah show yourself some love laugh at it and keep it fucking pushing man fact fact and so that's where i'm at right now that's where you're at uh let me say this to the audience uh i'm excited for them to pay more

attention to this new album that's coming out with your father who knows what it's called but Let me say this to the audience I'm excited for them to pay more attention To this new album that's coming out with your father Who knows what it's called but it's gonna be called Family Affairs with a Z And it's gonna be a no limit record Oh shit And also I appreciate you coming through

I'm a fan I like your shit a lot I think you're a great dude I wish you Much more success in your future. Congrats on this new baby. We end the show the same way, so you can go tinkle, and we're done. You look in that camera right there, and you say one word or one phrase to take us home. It's going to embed itself in history forever on the internet.

So in that camera, one word or one phrase to end the episode whenever you're ready. Go ahead. Be nice to yourself. In here, we pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey. You are that creature in the ginger beard. Sturdy and ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are beautiful.

You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse. Gingers are hell no. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers.