Whiskey Ginger with Andrew Santino - Matt McCusker

Episode Date: December 20, 2024

Matt McCusker joins the show! What a great hang with one of our favorite Philly animals. Settle in for a great episode with one of the top g's in comedy. Be sure to check out Matt on tour. https://mattmccusker.com/ #mattmccusker #andrewsantino #whiskeyginger #mattandshane #podcast ============================================ Sponsor Whiskey Ginger: https://public.liveread.io/media-kit/whiskeyginger SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS SQUARESPACE Get that site up and running now! 10% off your order https://squarespace.com/whiskey BETTER HELP 10% OFF YOUR 1ST MONTH https://betterhelp.com/whiskey PDS DEBT GET YOUR FREE DEBT ANALYSIS http://pdsdebt.com/whiskey BIOPTIMIZERS PROMO CODE: WHISKEY 25% OFF YOUR ORDER http://bioptimizers.com/whiskey ======================================= Follow Andrew Santino: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ https://twitter.com/CheetoSantino Follow Whiskey Ginger: https://www.instagram.com/whiskeygingerpodcast https://twitter.com/whiskeygingerpodcast Produced and edited by Joe Faria IG: @itsjoefaria Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What up, Whiskey Ginger fans? Welcome back to the show. If it's your first time joining the show, welcome to the show. Like it, subscribe it, share it with some friends. Leave a comment down below for the Al Goh rhythm. Appreciate you. I'm out on tour, kiddies. This year is wrapping up, but your boy is touring. January, I'll be in Chicago.

I'm going to be in Chicago, my hometown. I think it's already sold out. But hey, there's some standby tickets available, hopefully. And after Chicago, I go to Durham. Come on Durham, North Carolina. Then Atlanta, Charleston, Philly, I'm playing the Met. New York, I'm at the Beacon. So privileged and happy to be there.

Phoenix, I do two shows in San Francisco. San Francisco, we added a late show. San Diego, we added another show too. So San Diego, two shows. Boston, it's our fourth show. We got four shows in Boston. Come see your boy. And Minneapolis, I end the tour.

All four are gonna be available on sale now, and we're shooting our special in Minneapolis. Hey, hey, hey! Go to andrewsantino.com for those tickets, andrewsantino.com. In here, we pour whiskey, whiskey, hey, go to AndrewSantino.com. For those tickets, AndrewSantino.com. In here, we pour whiskey. Whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey. Oh, that creature in the ginger beard.

Sturdy and ginger. Like that. The ginger gene is a curse. Ginger's a beautiful. You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse. Ginger's all hell, now. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger's all hell now. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger, I like gingers.

What supplements your sports? Like is there a thing that you have that you're upset? I read a lot, I read constantly. I do a lot of writing and reading and stuff. So on a day when your wife and your kids are like, your wife's like, alright, I'm gonna take the kids, whatever you're gonna do to yourself. You're in the room reading a book.

What are you reading? Right now I'm reading a book called, I always read, I'll read like five books at once and just kinda like jump back and forth between them. How do you do that, dude? I don't know, I just- Do you ever finish them? I do, sometimes, but not always.

If a book loses me, I'll just fucking up. There's so many books. I have so many books that I just never finish. They sit on my desk. Dude, I read half of it and then I get over, and I throw them away. Yeah, that's fine I like watch it honestly I should be real like prideful about like I have to finish this book now like dude There's zillions of books in the world. Yeah, too many I'm gonna waste my time reading ones

I don't like and then if I start if it really loses me I'll be like or I'll just like chunk it by little by little yeah over like two years have you have you Have you read a book twice? I have, but it's like I've done it before. This makes me sick for some reason when people do this. I'm like, you're gonna read it again, dude? You do get a whole different thing from it though. I'm sure.

If you give it like three years and read it again, you're like, oh shit, I wasn't even aware of what that part was about. See Alzheimer's and dementia runs in my family, so I have bad memory. So I'm kind of prepping for that second half of my life when I'm just reintroduced to everything I used to like So I'm just putting stuff in my office. It's getting ready for it. Yeah, just prepping. That's my doomsday prepping If I see a movie

After like five years, I can just watch it again. I forget most the movie anyway. Yeah, I feel the same way. That's good. My memories Atrocious, that's like my whole mom's side is Alzheimer's is like claims everybody. Hell yeah Irish. anyway. Yeah, I feel the same way. My memory's atrocious. That's like my whole mom's side is Alzheimer's, is like claims everybody. Hell yeah, Irish? Yeah. Yeah, God bless. Irish brains are built for like 45 years maximum. Dude, these people, I first, these people,

I, we read, I think we read it on the, on Bad one time that when whiskey was invented in Ireland, for 300 years, 200 or 300 years later, they invented nothing else. Yeah. Nothing else. Yeah. And then the thing they invented 200 years later

was road bowling. Is that right? Road bowling? Yeah, whiskey was invented in the 14th century and then road bowling was in the 17th century. There's just a gap on that. That's amazing, dude. They were like, nope, we're just gonna take some time

to just drink and talk and hang out. Yeah. Sing songs and shit. Compile, yeah, compile the great songs. Yeah, but no writing, no leaps of technology, no social and cultural growth, like nothing. They just stagnant. It was just the poets of Ireland and bars just.

But half of the poetry from like the 15th century, they don't know where it is. It's not exist They can't even find it these guys weren't even good at like saving the shit they made for 200 years It was just they had an oral tradition. They just talked I know that's what that is what's kind of amazing that you go there you hear these like limericks and stories and all that stuff You've been to Ireland once when I was like 14 and oh you'll sit in a bar We just went again. I've gone a few times, and you'll just sit in a local bar and like, they do this thing where they will, chat up stories, and you'll hear these,

and you can barely make out what the fuck they're saying. It's unbelievably tough to hear. And then you'll know other people have heard this before, and you're like, oh my God, this has been circulating in this fucking town for hundreds of years. They just take turns. Yeah, it's crazy, they just take turns doing like the great heroes.

It's kinda great, dude. Yeah, there was a guy, just take turns doing like the great heroes. It's kind of great, dude Yeah, I've read there was a guy Who's the guy who wrote Angela's Ashes? It's Frank McCourt McCord. Yeah, Frank McCord or whatever He uh, he didn't publish that book till he was like 55 by the way, really? Yeah, he was just a teacher he was a like a he taught it like Stuyvesant in high school and Eventually when he was like 55 he retired and he was like, I guess I'll write this book. And he wrote it, Pulitzer Prize. That's amazing. Yeah, he just wrote a mem- he wrote two memoirs, but he talks about that a lot about like, growing up in Ireland and just like,

dudes, just ripping just stories about the great heroes. Coughlin was like the great Irish hero. And you're like, dad would get drunk and just sing about the Irish heroes and he'd be like, fuck it, that's the rules. And he would just leave the family. Yeah, dude. As he's singing when he goes out leave the family. Yeah, dude. As he's singing when he goes out the door, what a beautiful memory.

And the heroes and I go. Just off in the fucking hills. You're like, damn, that guy ruled. I wonder where he is. Yeah, where is my dad now? Your parents are still together, right? You grew up in a solid home. Yeah.

What a good guy, dude. Irish Catholic, six kids. But do they stay together for the kids, or you think they're still in love My dad was pretty he would always just be like dude. We can't there's nothing we can do we have six kids What am I gonna date somebody with six kids? He's like I can't he's pumped on it though. He's always said He's like if it wasn't for your mom might be dead, which is I think true probably true. Yeah, the health wise That was absolutely true. But yeah for them. It's just I think it was just kind of like I don't know

It was just like dude. We have six kids We're now like you know now. They're like in their middle late 60s, but it's like yeah He's like what am I get divorced and get a girlfriend. He's like I've six children such a loser look too Yeah, the guy who gets that girlfriend at like 68 exactly just kill yourself. Yeah, it's over Then it is funny cuz she's still like torches them like all day long She's like we gotta cut the grass and it's like dude you guys just get someone to cut the grass Yeah, they'll be out. They'll stay out all day together and like cut thorns off a fence my dad my parents do that shit, too It's weird. Yeah, what for it's kink. I think it's king

Complaining they'll put in like an eight-hourping day at like 65, like in the fucking rain. That shit's hot. It's crazy. That's hot as fuck. It is kind of hot. It's calm down, it's pass out. An erotic novel about just fighting in the yard all day. That's my, like every time my dad, he's so stubborn,

I always tell him to, like there's kids in the neighborhood when it snows, you know, to just, that'll come around and do your driveway and shit, nah. Yeah, not happening. It's not even money. It's not like they're tight. You can't afford anything, but no dude. It's like he's fine So you pay that kid to shovel your shit and come every day and clean up There's ice when I see my dad like running down the driveway the icy ass driveway. I'm like this is how it ends You slip you bust your head open and mom finds you four hours later. They don't care. No, it's kind of care

My ass right. That's he won't retire. He's still working. What did you do demolition? Oh, that's right He's like we're gonna carry these buckets of stone up a step. What do you fuck are you doing? Do you have Guatemalan guys working with you? It's like yeah, I'll do it. Hey, dude. They're happy to do it It's like he's like right. He's right behind them. Just like fuck. This is breaking my ass. I'm like dude. You're 65. Yeah, give it up knock it off But he's big thing. That's always always been he's like I dude. I love going to work I love getting the hell out of here. He's like I just every time I can get out of here I want to get out of here. He's just telling me not to have kids. He's like don't have kids Fuck that up. Yeah

Are you gonna do that again or no to and done? I? Fuck that up. Yeah Are you gonna do that again or no to and done? I? I'm done, but my wife kind of wants one more Yeah, I'm kind of like three is a cool number three is cool, but it's like dude. It's so much work It's like you want to reset. We're finally getting out of diapers It's like you want to reset the clock go back to diapers again. It's shit everywhere It's for real like and I can only my oldest is four but it's like the first three years you have to sit there and watch him like intensively and it's

like resetting it's just again just imagine three years you're just done doing a job doing it again of like it's like 90 hours a week and you're like alright I'm done this and like let's start it over it's like why but if she can handle it you can handle it yeah I'd be fine with that if she's like we'll do it actually you can't not give if, I'd be fine with that. If she's like, we'll do it, I should do it. You can't not give, if a woman wants a child and you refuse her, it's, you're dealing with like the female animal at that point. They stone you in the streets, in the right day,

fucking they, that's sacrifice, town sacrifice. It's weak, it's weak to be like, if a woman wants a child and she wants to be pregnant and you're like, no, I'm not gonna let you do that, it's, she'll hate you. Yeah, that's it. Cause it's like, that's like their animal instinct, to like get pregnant again, if you're blocking that,

it'll just be terrible. Yeah, you gotta give it it's like that's like their animal instinct to go get pregnant again if you're blocking that it'll it'll just be terrible Yeah, you got to give it to him. Yeah, well I mean like a lot of my friends now have they're all snipped a lot of guys I know that they had one or two and they're done. They won't get snipped ever. Yeah, see, I don't know I just I'm scared of the idea of it for some reason. I am too man That's I don't know why I'm a pussy about it, but I know it's just I don't want it I don't want to cut my nuts. I'm not doing it's like that's your you know, I don't know a I my nuts I'm not doing it's like that's your you know I don't know a I don't know where it goes It's like that's my life force. That's you know. That's my semen moving through my body

I don't want to divert that cycle. Yeah, and I always tell my wife like it keeps me honest Right right right gotta be I gotta be locked and loaded. I can't be firing blanks It gives you real then you know then you know you're real that well you just you know it's so funny when I was young My gun was strong. I could I you could shoot really far. Yeah No, just it's not the same at the range. You know what I mean? It's not at all It's not it's it's a bummer remember my so my friend is like I think he's like 42 maybe and he was telling me about it because he was in his late 30s And I was in like my you

Know whatever like my late 20s or whatever was early 30s and he he was like, yeah You're not gonna be just like ripping him over your shoulder. I was like speak for yourself Now like yeah at 38 you get you get kind of like the weak volcano and you're like, oh no Yeah, it just makes it there. I'll still I can still rip every now and again But not like I used to go over I could go over the head back Oh, man, I would do I used to measure it. I was like You know how you like mark on the wall your height as you get older I wanted to mark the distance on the floor I used to love that but now no dude now it's like if it feels like

when we were on the road and When you're going up a hill, you know, look dude, if you're if you're um 200 pounds And when you're going up a hill, you know, look, dude, if you're, I'm 200 pounds, like at a certain weight, those scooters, you know, those like lime scooters, you hit a hill and those things are like, eee, eee, eee, eee, and they let you know, like you're not, this is for teenagers, dude.

I'll push, I have no pride, I'll put my foot down. I have to, dude, I have to. I have to. I'll have to get off and, yeah, push like I'm on a skateboard again. But it makes me sad, that's what it feels like, my shot's like, eee, it's like barely getting there, but I can hear it, I'm on a skateboard again. But it makes me sad. That's what it feels like, my shot's like, it's like barely getting there,

but I can hear it dying. It's actually embarrassing as fuck when we were on those things. And Bobby is, Bobby's tiny, right? He's a short guy. So he's round, but he doesn't weigh much. Like, yeah, it just, I mean, he like, it looks like it, but he really doesn't,

cause he's small. So he's probably, what is he, five six? Isn't that what we said? Five six or something? Five four. but he really doesn't cuz he's small. He's probably what is he five six Is that we said five six or something five three five four five really? Yeah, he's tiny his shape is our aerodynamic as well Yeah, he's cutting the air. Yeah, we're thinking about putting carbon fiber on it so he can move faster through the day That sucks a year's was chugging up the hill and he was just he flew dude. He absolutely And he's on one now because he's on No, no, he's on the one it's on Wigovie. He's on one of the other ones Yeah, he's on like the alternative because he was Mpic made him crazy sick really the crazy sick. Well, dude, we pope we posted about it We were shooting a promo video and he vomited. I'll show you the video. I mean it dude. It's comical how he vomits

Legitimately for like a full 30 seconds. It's crazy, dude It looks like it looks like a horror film. It looks fake and then after that he was like I can't do this anymore I was like good cuz I don't want him to be on I didn't want him to be on it like we talked about health shit Right before this. Yeah, I was like dude the more pills the more stuff you're injecting. I just it gets me shaky I'm like dude the more pills the more stuff you're injecting. I just it gets me shaky I'm like dude just try your best in your in your regular life to just get a little bit exercise eat a little bit better Try to level yourself out naturally. He's like fuck that yeah Let me just grab the pen dude. I feel like that's a big difference between people I'm like I want to try everything I can the natural way me too

That's just how I am But I know people who are like fuck that bam bam pill and they're out the door, and it's like I just get freaked out about that Yeah, I'm also maybe I'm a little bit of a pussy like I've had a back issue for years And I go through these cycles of like I beat it and then it flares up and then it gets bad again Then I beat it, but every time I've had a ton of people just just go get go get the surgery go get surgery Yeah, I can't can't do it. I just can't do it. I don't know I'll try to keep fighting it until Until back pains like emotional like if I my back is fucked up. I get like sad. No dude. I am It sucks when I hit you. I'm the most depressed. Such a piece of shit my fucking back hurts. My leg or knee hurts

I'm like, oh whatever my whenever I had like back pain I don't know what the fuck he does to you, but I just be good. I get so sad Yeah, I think it's it well It's also like your central nervous system. Everything is attached through your spinal column. So yeah, it's it it does Not only does it cause physical pains other places that they say are partially mental, you know But then it does get in your brain you think this means I'm breaking down. This means I will die sooner Yeah, like this means I won't be as active or useful. It does the animal thing where you're like, oh you have to go in the woods and die alone Should lay down alone under the trees. It's time really does try to pick up a bag of ice and you're like, oh

I'm gonna kill and then you go And then your wife is being sweet and she's like baby, you know, just come on. Don't I don't want to be that I'm already embarrassed. I don't want to be embarrassed twice Well back pain is weird because it's like if your knee hurts You got to like rest it you can't rest your back. Yeah, no, it's like the opposite you have to like Work through it and then make you I don't know what it is. Well. I do I do I do physical therapy I did sports sports therapy like and then I did physical therapy and now I still do physical therapy and then I'd go to These stretch lab classes. How do you like the stretch lab? Yeah, I fucking love it. Is it nice? Dude, I love it. I got this fucking young good-looking fucking half Asian kid Who's just gore? I mean a gorgeous dude. He's jacked as fuck

Mm-hmm, and he just he like folds me up in these fucking positions and he like he makes me try to be more of a man Do you know what I mean where I'm like? me try to be more of a man do you know what I mean where I'm like because he's like a tough I'm trying to follow this I'm like he's just a hot beautiful Asian man I could see I could see wanting to get if I wanted to get limber for one person would be a beautiful Asian yeah who else that makes sense now I see I see what you're saying I see exactly what you're saying but he like he's such like a tough dude that I don't want to puss out in front of him so when he stretches me I'll just go with it

Dude, this is such a hard pulse But no, I totally agree I'm gonna be mature about this. I uh, no don't don't don't go the other way. It stretches me out, dude No, but I would feel ashamed if there was one group of people watching me be inflexible if it was a beautiful Asian man I'd be like fuck. That's the one. Yeah, cuz if it's like a white guy, I'm like, yeah, we me be inflexible if it was a beautiful Asian man I'd be like fuck that's the one yeah cuz If it's like a white guy I'm like yeah we're both inflexible and it's just we're like fuck our necks hurt White guys have no flexibility whatsoever. I know it's yeah we're the stiffest of the breed We're the stiffest of the breeds The Asians if we if we know anything about them these cats are flexible. He just does it He'll push me to a place where he'll go

This hurts. I'm sure this hurts hurts and I'm in fucking crazy pain really, but he's just like just just just let it let it let it Let it hurt. Yeah, okay, like you'll get through it and then when I'm done you I feel like I achieved something like I beat the pain It's almost like when people I don't have tattoos my friends have like crate when they get tattoos in places that they tell me It's so sensitive. It's almost like I'm gonna gonna beat the pain, 100%, I'll beat the pain. That is tight to be like, have you ever tried the stretch lab pussy? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I do stretching rules, man. I wanna get like, I let myself get super tight, I'm trying to get flexible.

And I've heard that like, every day as you get older, there's like, I don't know if it's fascia or something, just tightens more and tightens more and you have to like break that stuff up every day Or else you just become like shriveled up Well look at your parents, look at our parents I mean I see like how my dad walks around the house It bums me out And I grew up playing sports with my dad Like my dad was our basketball coach and my dad loved to hoop

And then at some point he like was like I can't They get old, one day you see them and you're like, huh? It is kind of her hunch here. When the fuck did you become old? He's like when you left? That's when I got yeah, it's like when we left the house. That's when their body just withered away It makes sense though to finally just be like I would love to let my back curl forward. I'm done Yeah, well, you'll have this experience right when your kids get old enough, you'll get to let go at some point. Yeah.

When they're old enough. They probably do just stop for like six weeks and just sit there like, ugh. Cause it's, dude, having kids is like nonstop bullshit. Constant. Nonstop, dude. Do you travel with your family or no? Not always.

If I have a lot of shows back to back, then I'll bring them out if it's like, I try to keep them in the same time zone cause it just whacks them out. Dude. So I do it every now and them out if it's like Like I try to keep them in the same time zone because it like just whacks them out So I do it every now and again, but it's it's a lot dude Like I'm out doing shows till like 12 get back my kids here from the time zone wake up at like 6 a.m So they wake me up, so I'm like so you're on no sleep. Yeah, little very little I'll crush a nap later today, but tonight you'll get good sleep cuz you're a lot your solo before you solo

It's dude. It's crazy to like the free time you have before you have kids. You don't realize it until you lose all of it. And then I get a hotel to myself to stand up and it's like, it's heaven. What's that day like at the hotel by yourself? I mean obviously it's drop the bags and beat off. 100% as you must. Yeah, that's how you drop the bags. I'm like salivating. You look right at the bed and you're like, get over here. Just on you drop the bags. I'm like salivating you look right at the bed. You're like get over here

Just on top of the covers Yeah, it's that obviously I try I've been like try this like whole fantasy We're like I'll make it through a whole weekend without beating off impossible. It is it's truly impossible And it's like I'm gonna stop just like because I like really was giving myself a hard time about it I'm like dude should be able to do this. Wait. Why what's the point? What's this? I don't know It's just a mental challenge. It's like I don't need to do that and then I do Yeah, your bio your biology makes you it does it really get it it has to go away and get out it has to you do You got to get that out as soon as you get the hotel room percent because you don't want to be rolling around I've went through this whole thing. We're like dude when like nofap came out. I like bought in

I'm like this is a cool idea It's like it's a bad idea You can't not come everyone thinks you can just hold it in for like 200 days. No it alters your person I've only made it like I think nine days, but I know people who did like like 90 days I know one guy. I think you did about 200 something 200 days yeah, dude, so but there has to be some sort of regression. Something happens chemically, right? There's gotta be something that happens in a chemical way

that affects your brain negatively to not come. I would think so, because I've only made it, well, they say at first, they do say people get clarity, because I think they get your testosterone raises. Yeah, like that Scientology episode, like George is a genius because he You know that it's a great like that. It was the Where they try to hold that is hilarious They try to they made a bet to see who couldn't who could hold out to see how long they come and George was like

His mental clarity was like through the roof because he wasn't trying to fuck What is it is there any sort of regression? I feel like you become weird I do think you become well weird so it starts with this you become stronger in your own like in your own self-conviction And then you get a little agitated you probably get a little like socially uncomfortable because you're annoyed and then you get into Building bombs in the woods. Yeah, I think there's a you get into like that the ladder drop Oh, it's all individual, but it says yeah, just leads to feelings of frustration anxiety or guilt see I bet you that I bet you them That's what I mean like I bet you those The the anxious depressive like those kind of chemicals are spiked through the roof because your body has to think

I'm either dying or like I'm this is like something's wrong. Yeah. So then it's just an internal self-spiral of like, oh the world is against me and I'm gonna film. From my experience, again, I'd only make it like, you know. Nine days is nothing. Nine days was, for me that was crazy. But I mean, I can do a week. I can do a full week. Yeah, now, I did this years ago too.

Now I can do a week easy. But it's like, this was like years. This was like my late 20s-ish. Oh no, that's insane. Dude, nine days, I would like, my heart would be pounding really hard. It was crazy like dude my teeth hurt What the fuck is going on? I'm but I really confused know a dude who did my friend Egan did I think it was like 260 something crazy wow and 20s or in his 20s. He's like a younger guy

Oh, dude, and it's just but at one point like you're you're only you're just building up a bigger No, like you're you know what I'm saying like you're gonna be like I'm being like chased and pure. It was like no You're not it's a fetish. Yeah, you're building up the ultimate nut And they're just like and I think he was saying he like walked by a wishy washy and just on instinct walked in got jerked He's like why did I this is defeated the whole purpose? Yeah, he just geysered in a wishy washy. But that's probably exactly where it should end. I know. That's, that is the finish line.

You do gotta take it to a professional. Yeah. If you're like 290 days in, yeah you gotta. You don't want an amateur to fucking do that. But no dude, I've talked to people and they're like, it like hurts when you hold it in that long. Oh for sure. Like I know people who have done that without warning and had like a girl there with just unleash it and the girl's like, What the fuck was this?

They just touch you and you're like, oh Put it away That's dangerous at some point. It was the thing. I was like, maybe this is the answer I'm like, it's not the answer. No, you can't negate you cannot negate like your you know base instincts It's completely takeover. So once you clean once you clean the pipes out in the hotel Are you sitting and reading by yourself now before you do shows? Are you do you work out you go out? Oh, so it's like it's on a I like my good days and bad days a good day Yes, I like I'll work out or I'll fab hit a nap usually when I get there

It's usually a fat nap all fat nap love a fat nap beautiful And then I awake if I have time I work out that's like ideally a lot of the times I will just stare at my phone and watch like Dude, I guys in grocery stores making black guys freak out. Do you ever see those videos? Where the guy, where the guy, he's in like, I think he's in like the south side of Chicago. Just like handing black guys like rainbow stickers with their purchases and they just go ballistic. There's a guy- There's hours of it. I can't stop watching it.

Well there's a dude in a gas station. There's a dude that trolls in a gas station that's like in the hood. Yeah. And he's like, okay beautiful. Yes, that guy. And he's like, what the fuck you say? But he's behind like nine layers of bulletproof glass. It's amazing. He's behind, he's out of the glass now.

See that guy's a lunatic, get back. It's the same guy, I think we're thinking the same guy. He's out of the box. Get back in the box, dude. And he's attaching rainbow balloons to people's backs while they're not looking. But he does have a black guy working with him now. Oh, you're good then.

Yeah, he also, he boxed a guy too. Oh, he did? He came out from behind the glass And he's like I got boxing gloves. Let's settle it. He's like whoop the guy's ass fuck. He's gonna. He's gonna stop It's not worth the views Yeah, but also I mean the clicks are great right now. Keep it rolling man dude It's so funny to sitting a 40 year old black guy with a pink lighter and having them be like what the fuck? Hell no

They all smash the chips and walk out, it's pretty great. What's interesting about that dynamic that I always see when he's fucking with these guys, that they don't just steal the shit from him. Some do. Some snag like seven Funyuns. Cause I've seen him, like he goes to hand back change, I've seen he tries to rub their hands, and they fucking lose it, dude. When he touches their hands, they're like,

Nah, nah, nah! Nah, nah, nah, nah! They, dude, their whole world collapses for a moment. Like, their entire masculine identity is like, no, no way. No guys are supposed to touch my fucking hands, dude. It's, dude, it's so, it's unbelievable. Those are great videos. Dude, the reaction is, for real, they, it's like, you know,

because if you took like a six, like our dads, if you did as my dad, he'd be like, what the fuck? He'd be almost as Mad, but it's not even he just it We can't doesn't how to get there anymore because dads are like so shocked that something so dumb would happen to them Yeah, but they're like what there's another there's that there's another guy. This is like my favorite content There's another guy called everyone loves one and he goes around Walmart's and let's go to like old men and be like hey beautiful and there'd be like What and they get like dude they do their souls leave their body for a second. They're just like oh

Get the hell out of here, and they like it get like flustered It's really funny one of these though where Hill sometimes say it enough to where a guy almost flips where he's like all right The guy is I have a good day, and he's like okay They don't know how to receive it shy Like I like There's one we were watching that video he goes up to cops because you know how these like you know these like Civil warriors now they like go around and they like record I've watched these guys they record just a pit They're like I'm in a public space. I'm in a public space. You can't tell me to get out this guy's so annoying I love them dude, and he's like get your skit your fucking supervisor

Get your fucking super look at how dumb you look right now, and the cops are so fucking mad and the whole time like dude I want to beat this guy so bad. I want to beat the living and There's there's a dude now who took that in a more clever way He goes up to cops he goes name and badge number and there was like Diaz 4862 and he's like good girl Have you seen that guy? Cody right now we were dying he goes that's a good girl and the cop goes what and he goes That's a good girl and the cops is so confused that he smiles a little bit. He's like It's so good

That's where the corners of the internet Are just so delicious. They're unbeatable. Do you ever get when people pull cops over as citizens? It's like I could legally pull you over you must stop and answer It's the same thing badge number the cops like you know you're not pulling me over Those guys these civil what are they called they're like I don't know there's a name for them They're like these um these like civil vigilantes or whatever But there's a collection of them now, and they all post the exact same content They go to like any code any government building mm-hmm and because it's public access

And you and the and the records are public access which of course like I'm glad it is public But none of us would ever use that and that it's one of those things really like I don't why would I need it? I'm not gonna. Yeah, not building a case. It's like show me the deed of my neighbor's property They're like I don't what are you doing? I want to see the line I'd like to see the line now I Had in high school look at what our teachers had like conviction wise you can find all that online really see but this is a generation He's 25. That's nice like I like Coke other stuff, but you're young see for us that we that's so it's funny because our teachers

The only time we ever heard about a teacher getting clipped for something was like years after we graduated exactly like my buddies My buddies his ex-girlfriend's dad his girlfriend in high school. He taught at the school and He was a shop teacher. He was either shopper. He was um yeah, no he was a shop teacher. He was either shop or he was um yeah, no he was a shop teacher and Years later we saw in the paper. He got busted for a prostitution ring. He was like organizing Young young problem. Oh, he was running it. He was running it. I thought he was just like John and out his car No, no, no, no, they used to put that in the papers. Well. He was usually for sure I mean he was for sure in on the game, but he would literally he had like a ring of like 20 something year old prostitutes Yeah, it was kind of incredible because you see this guy, and you're like no way

He was like a he was pimping pimpin dude the shop teacher was a pimp dude what you would have never guessed He's a nerdy little short guy glasses like Just like an automotive genius. I could hand build an engine like super smart quiet What the fuck you're like if anything they're gonna find stuff on his hard drive. You't think he would be a yeah, you know I mean you're like he's an internal creep He's not so a very like specific function in the underworld That's like a take like takes a really specific kind of dude to like manage a bunch of prostitutes Yeah, Marvel reached out. They want to make him a villain for their next movie. They're like dude. This is perfect Creep that's strong. That's a strong pimp and have like a guy shop teacher all day

Just like tinkering on gears and being like bitch These kids are stressing me out enough. I don't need you fucking around that is the next DC Marvel universe of like They're gonna run out of like spins So it'll just be real stories that they can just kind of like kind of Carve make make animated and this shop teacher who fucking who's a pimp, he's got strong hands. That's a great story though. In and out of the shop. For sure dude.

Pimp game strong. It's just, and it's got oil dripping down his hand. Yeah man. Yeah it's a wild story but he was, he was, like all, those kind of things we heard like little, like little creepy, like a teacher got in trouble for whatever, whatever. Nothing like, nothing illegal and disgusting. You know what I mean, nothing illegal in disgust. You know what I mean, nothing like kid stuff.

It was always like- That's where, you always assume it's like they're molesting kids. Pimpin' is kinda like, all right. It's kinda tight. I can work with that. Yeah, it's legal, let him do it, dude. He's just organizing.

Yeah, he was- He's running a business. So he might've just been like deep in the hooker game and then started like being the plug for all of his friends. 100%. I mean, you know what it was, is like, he obviously knew a girl, right? Yes.

He obviously had one girl. It's bottom bitch. Bottom bitch. Bottom bitch, main bitch. And she had a couple of friends that were like, hey, didn't you and any of your lonely 50 something year old friends need some company?

And he's like, yeah, dude, my wife is dead. I'm sad as fuck. For sure, yeah. Go get some of your friends for some of my lame friends. We're making 24 grand a year and we will spend all of it on you It'll all go to you guys. That's a good book to read is icebergs limbs autobiography. Someone else had said dude Someone said this to us. It's amazing. Yeah, especially like back I think that was I don't know what it was maybe the 50s or 60s But he yeah, you would like pimping is a real weird thing to get into, because you have to like find women

that are just in like horrible circumstances, and then you just completely like maliciously abuse them into like having sex with strangers and giving you all of the money. Well, giving you the money thing is the strangest thing. Well, it's a power play of like such trauma from these poor girls. Whatever just awful fucked up shit happened to them, this feels safer.

Exactly. That's crazy. And you capitalize and you're always like you'll like stand at bus stops and just try to find like a girl a young girl with bags and you all the pimps swarm her. Yeah, she's moving moving to town or something. You want to get in her head and be like look I got you I love you I love you so much and then you just slowly pimp her out and just get her addicted to drugs. So dark.

Dude it's for real the to drugs. So dark It's dude. It's real the evil is so dark pimps are like people think it's cool They were like cool suits And it might be they might be the most malicious criminals like right it dude that one he had this thing where so he had his bottom Bitch was like down with him forever, and she wasn't a lot of times your bitches will get lazy Yeah, so as a pimp you got to figure out what you're gonna do dude He started Western he would have the money from her, then Western union it to himself, pretending it was coming from another girl and being like, this chick's killing you, you're not shit.

And he would like beat her with a coat hanger. It was fucked up. Oh dude, so manipulative. And then they'll come out and be like, let me tell you something about it. It's like, dude, you're the worst guy. But it was a crazy trick to be like sending money that was hers, and you would just save up two weeks worth and big damn Look at this other bitches getting me you're worthless. Well, then she got off her lazy ass. It started going hard Oh, yeah, these hoes got up

That's called a chili pimp if you have one ho that's a chili pimp chili pimp chili pimp They're like bottom-of-the-barrel pimps. Nobody respects a chili pimp. What's top pimp? What do they cause their do? They do they all have names. I think you're just I think you're just a certified player at that point. You're just a cold as hell. Yeah, you're a certified player. You got like seven or eight bitches. I would love moving up the ranks of the pimping game. That's like in the comedy game. You're like an open mic. Chili Pimp is an open mic.

It's kind of like that, dude. Because then you have the elder pimps that they'll give you game, but they're always trying to take you out. And pimps love seeing other pimps fall. Dude, it was crazy. It's just like stand-up. It's just like stand-up It is the elder pimps are always talking shit about And they can't believe when a chili pimp is like at their level at some point

You're like how did that dude fucking move up? They hate to see a young pimp rise. Yeah, I'll keep you down They will keep you down. They want you opening for them That is great to think of a pimp lower on the ladder opens for a bigger pimp Yeah, he just warms up his hose for him They'll steal your hose they'll take you into the fold and be like I care about you and then those poison your hose against you I need to read this book. I just so it is so it's such a it's like a terrible topic But it is for real one of us when you when someone has these these fan these like fantasy lives that actually were real Hmm. I mean you have to indulge,

because you're so far away from something so chaotic that you're like, I have to know what that's like. Because it's so fucking foreign. I said on the other show, one of my favorite books that I've finally finished again, I keep doing the go back to, was Warren Zevon's book his wife wrote, and I've suggested it a million times. I think it's brilliant. You know this guy Warren Zevon? I know Evon's book his wife wrote and I've suggested it a million times I think it's brilliant you know this guy Warren

I know he is his wife wrote a book yeah I mean he wrote a book about his his entire life because he lived such a dark tumultuous life like it was just so awful that guy ruled he I saw a thing of him on a talk show where he was just had like terminal cancer and he just never went to the doctor letterman yeah he was just like yeah yeah Letterman loved him to death he was like one of his favorite artists and like I think I think, you know, look, it was a sad, awful life. He was like, he was a constant addict.

And he did that thing where he would get out of addiction, feel clean, and then jump right back in. Then spiral in this weird, but here's the worst part. I mean, the best part, the worst part. Every time he went through one of these like terrible jaunts of like just disappearing, he would make a killer fucking song It was just put out a fucking banger dude, he would disappear He would go get so fucking wrecked and then they find himself like in Bogota

You know what I mean? Like he'd find himself in a different country or different like he would find himself in these Situations where he would just move somewhere and disappear Like, he would find himself in these situations where he would just move somewhere and disappear, then he would write an incredible fucking record. And then, the labels back then, because they put up with everything, like nowadays a label would be like,

you're fired, you'd fuck you. But they would just keep sending money to be like, look dude, he did just send us a fucking incredible song. And then they would think, okay, he's back, he's gonna do it, and then he's like, nah. And he would just disappear again, dude. That was awesome. It was just as to the fantasy of that though.

I don't think could happen in this day and age again because I think just labels and corporate, they wouldn't put up with anymore. But for some reason back then they were just like, we'll keep, I guess we'll keep trying with this guy. Yeah, that's uh, yeah, and it also too like you could, you could keep way more stuff under the rug back then too. Yeah, no, yeah, they. Yeah, no one knew. Yeah, now it's like, I saw this guy, you have a video of him, he's just like, Uhhh, he's just in Honduras like, you're fucked here, you press me. Like, oh that's shitty. Just yelling out racial slurs at people at the beach, you're like, dude, come on man, just make an album.

I mean, Kanye was as big as you can get, you would think you could ignore all the stuff he was doing, he like, he went full bore. Well, dude, he said all the stuff that we were all thinking. That's really what it is, dude. Yeah, that is, that was one of the most entertaining things to watch. To see someone at the height of just, I mean, it's like, he was as big as a celebrity can get. We will look back on that as a, as probably one of the most beautiful,

um, beautiful ascensions and explosions into, you know, explosions into this cultural zeitgeist of chaos. He'll be forever remembered as one of the greatest artists of all time who had this mental break or whatever you wanna call it, but it will never invalidate all the stuff he did. I don't know. Yeah, for sure. It's almost like the break was like beautiful.

It was supposed to happen. Where was he supposed to go? Do you know what I mean? You got so big, I guess where else do you go other than I need to prophesize until I, until you guys like martyr my existence. It's crazy, dude. It is kind of crazy.

He did level himself as this like other worldly creature now. He's not, he's like superhuman. It's, yeah he is. It's like dude, he, it was funny too because everyone I feel like, anyone who does like entertainment has that fantasy of like, I really love to like get a moment where like the whole world's watching me, I'm giving like an Emmy speech and I have this beautiful speech planned in my head and he, for years must have been like, I gotta tell everyone I love Hitler. And he just got to the point where he got the platform up and he was like, I hate I just love him. I can't help I can't even have to tell you In here we pour This episode whiskey ginger is brought to you by Squarespace

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That's BetterHelp. BetterH-E-L-P.com slash whiskey. Ginger. I like gingers. It is incredible because I, you see him now and he doesn't have the attention that he used to get and I think he still thinks he could like garner that attention but it just doesn't happen anymore and it's really sad to watch like he'll go out with his girlfriend and in Malibu or whatever and she's naked Have you ever seen pictures dude? It's my favorite section of the news is just what his wife's wearing and him just getting blowjobs on boats And it's amazing plumbers cracks It is I keep wondering who's writing the art who keeps following her like his wife's naked again

We see her nipples, and it's like sweet sweet. Thanks for the pic But you know that's got to be the part of the conversation when they leave the house like I imagine She's so it's she's so conscious of the of this thing now becoming news every day mm-hmm So she has to keep upping her game I know like she has to continue to have these new outfits that are like, not suggestive, they're just naked, but they're like sheer. It's everything is sheer. Yeah, it's crazy. And she is just naked. She's under like a veil. Yeah. She's gonna eventually have to like take a dump on the sidewalk. And everybody's like, oh hell, she's still doing big things. This is awesome. Rock and roll, dude.

She's so right. She's throwing poop. Have you seen she's throwing poop at people? At fans. It is funny because yeah, I mean, it's like, yeah, I don't think he's drawing the same kind of attention as before But it's like dude, there's like one hit wonders for the 90s if like if you talk to them They're still like bro, like we're we're still in the celebrity life. It's like nobody cares. No one cares. So it is a thing like I think there's if you do ascend to that level I think it's hard to like just feel like oh, I'm a regular guy again. Like it just it's all over. No, it's over. You lost all the, you lost the thing.

Well, it's funny to think like the parallels of what we do of comedy goes to these waves of like, you know, getting bigger than itself, which I think we're there now a little bit. Yeah, for sure. I mean, we're like, we're, it's too big. It's bigger than it. A nice bust would be good.

It's a hard bust. It's coming. It's coming. That'd be great. Because it came, COVID did it the first time. Yeah. And Burr walked into the green room. I've told this story before, but I'll never forget, like right before COVID, and it was like, you know, every night was sold out everywhere.

It was just incredible. And there was a bunch of people that had come to the store that night, you know, like Russell Peters, all these guys that have like Bentley's and Ferraris or whatever, you know, Kevin Hart was it, whatever. And Burr walked in the green room and he's like, do you see the fucking parking lot?

And everyone's like, well, he's like, dude, they're gonna audit us. They're gonna get us. It's too much fucking money. Like, he was so offended and it was so true. He was like, dude, they're gonna fucking get us. They're gonna fucking come get us. This is ridiculous. And I go out there and it was, He was like, dude, they're gonna fucking get us. They're gonna fucking come get us This is ridiculous and I go out there and it was it was like a Ferrari a bet like, you know

Tim Dillon's fucking rolls right? I was like, oh my god. This is such a bad look dude. It just wasn't comedy at all Yeah, and sure enough Just like the grace of coincidence COVID hit and it like just decimated the comedy boom thing and now it's too big now. Yeah, it's rising again Yeah, it is weird man because I have like I've only I was doing it just like mostly like open mics for longest times and I know there was like booms and but like I started in like 2008 so I started in 08 and then how long did you go until you stopped?

I I would dude I always I would do it for like four months, quit for two months, do it for nine months, quit for four months. What was the quit because? I would just be like, fuck this, and I would just like try to like, I would like have a girlfriend and be like,

I'm gonna just get a normal job. And then I would try that and just quit immediately and go back to stand up, it sucks. Like. What were the normal jobs? Any of them fun or not? I like tried, I did a lot of like construction jobs, that's like my whole family does that.

And they were like, they were cool, because you can still be like kind of a mutant and do construction, like nobody gives a fuck. Yeah. But I tried working in an office for, I think I made it like three weeks. That was like, the more you do stand-up and then try to get back in it, like, I went to school for social work at one point, got like my masters in social work, and I would like go to like social work offices and talk to people and they'd be like, where the fuck are you? you become like a freak?

Yeah, you say never you really do like I always and I'm always telling like people like comics I'm like dude stop romanticizing your life You're just a normal person, but you also you're kind of not like if you do stand up for a long time and try to sit In an office. It's just You say like one thing and people like what the fuck you yeah, like what are you doing? Yeah, we are we are we are normal people, but also I think There's nothing special the words, but there's nothing it's just it's what it is is your lenses kind of Unique yeah, like you just have a different your lens is a little off compared to everybody else for sure

So when you say it people are like I don't know the fuck you're talking about But that's kind of interesting that you say it that way dude And it's also like I because again I only ever I worked in an office twice and one was a like an internship in college I did like I think three months I remember I quit the internship early and then the other one was three weeks And it was like dude if you work in an office from like 20 to like 40 I I really think it gives people like brain damage

Okay, low-grade brain low-grade like if you keep a dog and again a kennel it's kind of like I swear to God it fucks people up it does because they'll be like oh like they're just like they can't it's like you're in school forever you can't there's certain topics even if you bring them up they'll be like oh I don't know man that's a little crazy that's like everyone I grew up with though back in the Midwest is like people and I go home they've they been relegated to, which is a great job, a lot of them have great jobs, but they're... When I do say stuff, it's almost like I've said something so out of bounds and fucked up.

But you're like, I didn't say... It's not that bad. It's not that bad, but to them they're like, I can't believe you say that stuff. Yeah, they're like, oh, that's a little crazy. I would like go in those offices and I was like selling Adderall in the office Fucking shucking Addy on the side Yeah, shucking Addys, but it was like yeah I was it is nice because you can get in the role of the office grease man

We can just like start like selling drugs and like plugging people up to like because they're that like that pressure is always building in An office I worked I fucking I did I had I had a desk job when I was in, first started out in comedy and one of the dudes, who was like kind of like a hero of mine, he was so rad, he was like, he's like, dude, you should do what I do, he did deliveries for us, you know, he was like a runner. That's nice. And he was like, you should do deliveries, dude. And he's like, get the fuck out of the office, because he was a creative, he was like an artist, he was a musician and an artist and he was like, get out of here dude, this is too confining.

You wanna be free. And I was like, I should do what you do. He's like, look dude, it's a little bit of a pay cut, but I get to come and go, he's like, please, I drive all day, listen to tunes, I'm writing. I get to go have a coffee. I was like, that does sound rad. And then like a month later, I found out he was like,

just getting drunk on the job every day. And I was like, okay dude, I'm gonna stay in the office. Nevermind, nevermind dude, I'll stay at the desk. Because there was a piece of me that thought that much freedom would make me Would make it was a little too unhinged because I was like I need a little bit of organization during the day Tis then at night I could go to stand up all night long because if I had his freedom It's almost like oh, dude. I'd be getting in so much fucking I'd be so funny I would have started drinking on the job. Yeah, sure just getting hammered

Yeah, I worked when I did the internship and it was a paid internship in college I gave you they gave you a little bit of money and I but I dude I would like set my Screen saver for like for so that it never came on and I would just leave the office for hours Nobody would know she walk around no one I didn't do anything I was I had two bosses in different cities and I would tell both of them that the other one had me doing stuff all day Yeah, he's got me on a run I'd like to well that one guy was like Albuque, the other guy was in like, Kentucky, and they called me and I'd be like, bro, the other guys got me slammed, catch, well hit me up

next week, we'll figure it out. And then like, I would just pit them against each other. That's so good. And just wander around the city. They never communicated, these two dudes, I love that. And I like would go travel with both of them, and it was just like, I don't know, they never really, and I was kind of doing like bullshit stuff too. Yeah, but it's a lot, almost everything is bullshit stuff. Do you almost everything is bullshit stuff. That's the thing that's what freaked me out

Then you go to the meetings and everyone's lying everyone's like yeah, I'm really getting the tires rolling on this side of this pride It's like there you're not I'm like I'm standing and talking to you the whole time. We didn't do anything I see what you do all day. You don't do shit The best is I got there was there was like a partner like a high-up guy in this way It was like a real estate thing they bought apartment complexes and The one guy like left the firm. There's like a lot. It was like it was kind of shady I don't know what they were doing, but there's like something going on and The one guy left the firm

He was like really high up and my other boss was like I need you to go into his gmail and delete anything with this Subject matter so they had me just deleting records of whatever like they told this guy like no problem But I was in his email, but then we had to Google chat So I was Google chatting like my bosses as this super high up guy. I'd be like yo, what's up guys? Oh my god. Hey, mr. Rizzo And I started like talking to them and I was like, yeah, I'm in a hotel right now Just chilling by myself like come chill. I started getting like like kind of hitting on them through this Am I direct bosses thought it was hilarious. Oh my god, that's me, I'm fucking with you. And they're like, talk to this guy.

They kept telling me to fuck with other people. And then like the main boss emailed me all caps like, do not use chat feature while in marie smith. You're like, dude, you kidding me? I'm your cleanup guy. I'll do whatever the fuck I want. I'm covering up for your terrible crimes. I get to have fun too. I'm committing fraud right now with you guys. At least let me fuck around the chat. But I would hit guys up like, yo, I got a bottle just by myself. I'm kind of fucked up like lol Yeah, it was so fun, and then that was the thing it was like that was the the disciplinary action was a guy Sending me an all caps email, and I look at him like he's like four offices next I could see him

And I'm like this is the this is the top guy Oh, yeah, that's kind of weird. He was like the legal it was like the CEO He would come in once a week and he was like kind of a dickhead and But the legal guy was kind of cool, but he was like second-in-command. He ran the office It is funny how you find out not all the time But you find out a lot of times when you get in these corporate worlds They're like wow so many these people get paid and they don't do anything Like the way that office space did that so beautifully that you're like, wow, so many of these people get paid and they don't do anything. The way that Office Space did that so beautifully where he's like, what do you do here?

And he can't explain it. I worked with enough people where I would be like, what is your gig? And they couldn't really tell you. Yeah, the less you do, the more complicated your job title is. It's like, well, I'm actually an industry analysis specialist. And you're like, okay, so what do you do? Oh, an analysis specialist. Who do you communicate with?

Some of my, well communicate with some of my Well a lot of my colleagues are actually a part. There's a group. I have two there's two There's two pots and I I oversee one of the pods, but what do you mean you over like? What do you do with the pod well? I mean look Honestly, dude you probably wouldn't even understand it if I explain it to you. It's that kind of thing Oh, I'm team my team leader. I'm a team leader team correspondence. It's it's crazy, dude I get I didn't work in an office that long, but I didn't do anything No, I didn't know no it's you can you can kind of get away with almost You can kind of get away with doing the absolute bare minimum, which we've talked about on the show

I'm a big proponent of that if you are working somewhere Yeah, do it do the least amount of work you possibly can I'm also as I get older I'm jealous of office life. I when I was younger. can. I'm also as I get older I'm jealous of office life. When I was younger I was like fuck this. As I get older I see a bunch of dudes out to lunch together. That looks rad. I'd be by myself I'd be like fuck dude that'd be so cool to be with my team right now.

Yeah, with my pod? Yeah, with my pod. You mean my pod getting Jimmy Johns? Are you kidding me dude? I'm in. Take me dude, take me in. I swear to God I was just by myself all the time and I would always just float around,

just be up to weird stuff. That's like my dad worked in an office for years, and the way he romanticizes about those moments, it is kind of fun. There is something beautiful, but he would be like, that's when, they all have nicknames. That's when Fat Back and I used to go out and we'd fucking have a couple of beers at lunch.

Get hammered. Yeah, those were fun days, right? That would be fun be fun to getting a little drunk and going back to the office That's when it does rule. Oh fuck. Yeah, it's like around the holiday season everyone's face is just bright red Yeah, my dad did a corporate job for his whole he was working in office his whole life and that's why he was like So promotional of me trying to do this thing yeah, cuz he was like cuz he got fired After like 30 years of loyalty to a company that's bullshit man. Yeah, dude turtle wax fuck turtle Wax fuck turtle wax 100% dude. They suck. We've talked about it so much

Don't ever buy that trash go buy any other any other go buy mothers go buy Meguiar's Shout out to the fucking chemical brothers chemical guys Dude honestly go buy all that other shit fuck turtle wax fuck turtle Yeah, they fired my old man after like dude such a loyal committed guy to this company And they just asked him and then He was I saw a change in my father for the first time as like a man was like as a man came to me and was like Years later they wanted to offer him his job back.

Total wax game crawling back? Yeah they did, like fucking little bitches. And he's like, what do you think? That was the first time my dad actually asked for my professional opinion about something I knew not, he just wanted like, as a, I don't know, it almost made me feel like, oh he respects me as a guy. Yeah, yeah, I know what you mean.

And he was like, what do you think? And I was like, tell him to go fuck themselves. And he did, which was rad, but it is so fucked up that they toyed with him They pimped my dad dude. They were chili pimping my dad. That's fucked up It's so fucked up, especially like in that generation like their huge goal in life was like get a job And stay in that job job. Yeah, keep my parents would always drill that into me. I'm like fuck that I'm like no, I'm gonna quit a job. I can't wait to quit my job but yeah, they all like dude if you got a job like they were like They were so happy just to have a steady job because there was some sort of there was some sort of I don't know

Like you felt like that was an achievement. You got a good job. You kept it you built a retirement Yeah, you like meant something but then you found out then they found out that generation found out that these corporations didn't give fuck about your ass Yeah, they they cared about you so little but they pretended really well for a long time Yeah, right like that scene in fucking the Christmas vacation was such a that is that is like my dad's whole career You know when the boss is like, yeah, we're fuck you. You're not getting a bonus fuck you You know what? I mean, it's like that's my dad's whole career was like wait what you fucked me after all this they dangled Yeah, yeah, I thought I thought he's like yeah, dude. You thought you're an idiot dude fuck you yeah So that's why my parents were very much like

Go ahead good luck. Yeah, you know they weren't like we'll catch you if you fall, but they were like go be free You might as well try so my dad was he was like you don't want to do construction It sucks go work in the air conditioning get out get an office job, and then I was like I'm not doing that He's like yeah, I can do that shit, but he was like and I was I'm gonna do stand-up He's like yeah, who gives a fuck do it. They were cool about it very cool My mom was a little kind of a worrywart She was always kind of like give me a teacher and I was like if all fells yeah I will absolutely could still be a teacher. I actually would like it like I swear to God like all these jobs now

I'm like I think I would like all of them, but you know you could teach out like a what any university level now. I want to go like dangerous minds I want to go like inner-city turn the kids around Save the kids you are a little Michelle Pfeiffer That movie was so fucking wild coolio Coolio god bless rest in peace. Oh yeah, he's dead, I forgot. He died, like, was it last year?

I feel like, yeah, a year or so ago. A year or two ago? Damn, where'd he die from? Hmm, I don't know if you wanna know. Autorotic asphyxiation? It was a drug overdose, but it was one of those where they like- Fentanyl, heroin, and meth.

Oh, he was going nuts. 59. 59. Damn. You know what sucks about that too is like, you can tell when you read some of those stories that he struggled like hard with addiction. And so it makes it more sad because,

I don't know what it is about celebrity public addiction. We kind of like, we ride this wave together. But when it's like quiet addiction, you're like, God, it's so much more depressing. Yeah, like little Bow Wow was addicted to like Promethazine for a while. Was he? Yeah, he just got fat.

Little Bow Wow was just fat addicted to Promethazine. Little Bow Wow got fat on fucking Prometh,ine for a while. It was? Yeah, he just got fat. Little Baba was just fat, addicted to Promethazine. Little Baba got fat on fucking Prometh, dude? That's wild. Yeah, that is, it's so right though, and they're quiet, like I didn't know Coolio was doing like speed balls. Sucks, dude. Quiet addiction makes me the most sad for some reason.

I'm like, oh dude, let us know. Yeah, dude. Show it off a little bit, dude. Yeah, crash your car. Like Whitney, dude? Fucking blow it up, dude. That documentary was incredible. The fact that her whole team was just like, we just can't control her.

And when Bobby got a hold of her, it was, like we watched it all burn. I know that's gross, but it's like, at least we get to know. It's the same thing. If we heard tires screech outside right now, we'd all go, and if there's no crash, you're like, pff, fucks the point, I just wasted my time. But yeah, there's something like innately, just at least spellbinding, watching just somebody just crash. Yeah, there's something about it, dude.

Completely just go up into flames. Yeah, the secret drug, and that's kinda like, you know, like, a guy that I loved that I knew nothing about was Greg Giraldo, and then like hearing, I was such a fan from afar And then hearing how you know he went back went back in and then died like the first day He went back in yeah, like fuck dude. He was like an opiates guy, right? Yeah, that's what happens man

Cuz your tolerance drops and then you try to do what you did before and you just you're done It's so funny on such a weak level like I realized that like when I clean out I stopped your I'll stop drinking for like three months four months or whatever then when I go back even then I'm like holy fuck good luck with H You're gonna ride the horse after this I can't even a couple of fucking couple of IPA's and I'm fucking Moshmouth it's dude the heroin shits crazy. I don't know and I it's like I know people have done it and gotten off of it But it's like it's gotta be impossible. I've had a good buddy of mine his wife He met his wife when she was struggling to get have done it and gotten off of it, but it's like, it's gotta be impossible. I've had a good buddy of mine, his wife, he met his wife when she was struggling to get off of it.

And now she's clean and life is great, but it is funny because it changes your chemical makeup, 100%. For sure. Like you are forever a different person. Doesn't matter how much you used. Yeah. It's just the way you operate is different. I was like you rewired the machine a little bit

when you do heroin. Yeah. Everything else doesn't really do that, but heroin for sure does that. Yeah. I don't know what that, like, that's why it's the best. Yeah, man. Yeah, just from what I understand, it just really just kind of like, you feel like you're just wrapped in like your mother's arms, just like sinking into oblivion. Let's do it, dude. Let's do it, dude. Let's try once. I will say, though, it affects certain people certain people like I've taken like percocets

And I've actually drank the methazine myself really good or not. Yeah, I just sell for that Unsuccessfully my friend is well I bought it me my friend were younger. We're like hell Yeah, dude, we cop for methazine my friend drank all of it and crashed his car into a hill The fuck dude you're me $180 you fucked me He just crashed in front of my parents house Fucking but if you're gonna go out dude yeah crash your car. Yeah, but I've taken percocets. I didn't love him man I tried it and I was like I get it It is like you kind of just get to like float on a couch for a little bit

Yeah, you disappear imagine if you're laying on a couch and your body just lifted off like this much That is comfortable as possible. It was pretty cool. I had Vicodin. It didn't grip me. Yeah, no, I had Vicodin. Vicodin is an opioid, right? Yeah, yeah. I had Vicodin when I tore ligaments in my leg playing basketball when I was like 23 or something like that.

And I ate those things like fucking Tic Tacs, but it made me so much more anxious. Yeah. My anxiety levels drove through the roof. I couldn't sleep at night. So like I felt I would get ripped But it wasn't like fun ripped. Mm-hmm. And then I told the doctor I was like this isn't working I don't like a little bit. He's like dude just take extra strength fucking Advil or whatever

He's like you're because the pain wouldn't really go away. It wasn't like the pain was gone. Yeah, I was just fucking song It was bad though I didn't I just didn't like it for some reason that that never got a hold of me in the way that like well, dude We talked about this last night muscle relaxers like norco norcos and although do you know those? Yeah, I know people who love those. Oh my god. I had my the girl I dated in college one time She ever take him and go to the stretch lab one time she ever take him and go to the stretch lab Asian guy like oh my god your legs behind your head

noted I used to tell I took him a few times in college a girl I saw in college she fucking loved him and Dude I got that that I got yeah, that's the one where I was like holy fuck dude These are so this would be so easy to get addicted to yeah 100% like in college I would I I didn't have a didn't have a car or any of that stuff and I had a skateboard and a bike and I'd fucking skate around everywhere. Dude, I would be on a muscle relaxer skating through campus. That's awesome.

Dude, it was the best, dude. You really were like, I'm flowing with the concrete. It's moving with me. It felt so free. But in retrospect, I thought there was a moment in time where I was on the edge of abusing I was right on the edge of like You know what I mean like a couple more weeks of it

I'm like oh shit muscle relaxers were like you know and I just for some who knows reason I just I never liked pills, and they were like when I was in high school there I'm sure the same with you there everywhere everywhere dude and like someone to have their parents to be just prescribed to everything But muscle relaxers were the ones we'd be like they couldn't get Xannies they couldn't get perks. They'd be like I got some muscle relaxers. You're like sweet People did like them. Yeah the rating of somebody's cabinet in high school well because in high school I'm a little bit older, but we're kind of the same age. High school, Molly, well, Ecstasy. You had the E-bombs, yeah.

They had just phased out. That was like my older brother, the Ecstasy was crazy. And then when I was in high school, it was just Percocet Xanax. That was like, Ecstasy was still there. We had Ecstasy, but that was like the one. And then you knew the couple of guys that could always get it.

And that was in every single weekend. They were like, dude, I will say, after you do Ec every single weekend. They're like dude. I Will say after you do actually see what I could do this Time it wasn't like it wasn't like if you if you're at a party and someone offered a bump Some people would take it some people wouldn't but back then if someone had actually they were like dude you Like to everybody wanted you're like give me these fun's a lot of them were cut with like biker meth I'm then you were just be up for like three days Yeah, it's how three of my teeth are chipped

I had honestly that was the scariest part in retrospect it You know the whole like you don't know what's in it a hundred percent didn't know what's in it Yeah, we had we had shit where I you didn't even question it But now that's the fucked up thing now you get something you don't know what's in it your fent and your guy Yeah, that's fucked we know when I knew died when we were young people get crazy sick couple kids went to the hospital But like no die. Yeah, no die. It was just speed you people get all sped out They're just too high whatever else was in there I didn't I didn't do Molly until I was like an adult like two years ago really it was unbelievable

It's the fucking but you do with your wife. Yeah the best unbelievable It's real like this is great. Yeah, but yeah in high school I don't know what would have happened if I did that But I'm your wife decided to do Molly together was it like a take a little trip Yeah, it was just we just got a hotel room for the day and just did Molly at like 7 a.m I just kind of like just rode out the whole afternoon We went to a PTA meeting and I was telling her I was like we're not ready to go and she's like I really want to go I was like I'll go with you

We just sat there whole time. I was like It had like worn off, but you're still like now you're still after you're like go ahead the teacher was talking I'm like she's doing such a good job. She's You're killing it miss Markins fucking killing it. That's mushrooms, when mushrooms is done, it's never really done. Yeah, yeah. It still had that lag, that like, you know, the after effect. Oh yeah, I learned, they come in waves, so like mushrooms, like, when the first time I took a lot of them, I was like, oh, I'm good to go, and I like got in my truck and drove, and it was very much not over, and I was on the road like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa on the road like, whoa, I drove for like 20 minutes. Oh, how?

That's insane. I had to pull over. I, dude, I drove and I got to like my friend's house and I woke up the next morning and my truck was parked like on the wrong side of his street, backwards somehow and I was like, holy shit, that's bad. You made it, dude. I did, it was very scary.

We took my mushrooms on time, we were going to my buddy's Mike's house and I kicked in faster than I thought and I pulled over like four or five times. It wasn't even a far drive. He like lived like two miles dude. Yeah, that's the one thing I remember I told my guitar teacher at the time. I was like I'm gonna do mushrooms tonight And he was like don't drive. I was like I won't you can't it's something about you really don't Know I won't and I drove and I was like he wasn't fucking it was I haven't been followed the whole time

Yeah, the road was literally going like I haven't thought I was being followed the whole time. Yeah, the road was literally going like I was just like oh I haven't done them in a little in a little while, but they are my favorite thing to do if I have Enough time to kill. Yeah, it's my favorite, but you have to have enough time That's the problem is I'm like you got to clear the schedule because I don't want to have a I have to go do a Thing no or have your phone going all right realize you for yeah You need like a whole day put away your phone when you're on when you're on any drugs Put away your phone. That's the the phone is like the scare when we were in high school

It was like looking in the mirror if you're too high They were like don't look in the mirror ripped on mushrooms and fuck with your head. That's the phone now Don't look at your phone when you're too high internet hitting like social media and is being like And now seeing like AI videos of Martin Luther King saying wild shit. You're like, whoa, dude, I don't need this right now. I don't like the AI videos, man. They make me feel so creepy when I watch them.

It's so uncomfortable, man. Yeah, people love the AI shit. I'm like, I don't like it at all. Somebody sent one to me literally today, and it was Martin Luther King. Like, it was a bit. It was an awful bit. You can figure it out.

Yeah, for sure. You can figure it out. But it was an awful bit you can figure it out But it was an awful bit and as I'm staring at it, I thought dude imagine This guy's entire legacy legacy to like the youth is boiled down to like yeah saying racist shit I saw a post on Twitter X whatever it's called yesterday, and it was like it was like the retweet of a lady put out a thing being like, OnlyFans creator does Thanksgiving with her father,

and the father berates her, and I'm like, what the fuck? And then it was like community notes, they're actually married, the man has been in jail for abusing women, and I'm like, what is this? He also has rape accusations, I'm like, what is this post even mean? How do we get here? It's a fake, it's not her dad, but the guy is also,

like he's her husband, but he's been beating women. And you're like, it's like- Community notes is really strange. When they go, let us tell you why this post is fake or- Yeah. Otherwise. And then you read it and you're like, yeah, but how do I know that's legit? I do, exactly.

Who's doing all this cross-red, cross-red. I guess it's just the numbers. I don't know, because it's also like before just be like hey Don't talk badly about coven like whatever now. It's like very specific and you're like wait Well, I don't I don't I don't want to know I don't want this to be in my awareness at all That is strange that they they really got They really got controlling over any sort of jokes about coven. Oh, yeah, this might not be a real thing And it's like show me. It's like, show me anyway.

I like, I like what I want to see. Show me anyway or whatever. Keep what is it like click next or show me anyway. I'm always I'm like, show. Like now on, I don't really go on Twitter anymore because I it's a fuck it. I just, there's nothing entertaining to me anymore. It's way, it's just a waste of space. Yeah. But if I do open it up, my pay, my algorithm somehow it's crazy, dude, it's insane. And and it'll be like remember faces of death that that's what my algorithm is not it'll be like it'll be like extreme accidents it'll be like a dude getting hit by a fucking truck I'm like what the fuck how did I get here

dude I've gotten one Elon's I give them the extreme accidents folder and then I'll just post a video of a flying car I'm like what the fuck okay dude yeah mine are like I'll get like white MMA fighters fighting black dudes and beating them, like, this is what a disciplined white male. I'm like, alright, that's fucking, that's enough of that. Wait, why you said, I don't know, I have never like, gone into that in the algorithm. Like, why are you giving me this right now? Why are you trying to radicalize me? Showing them who, what we're really made of. You're like, we? What the fuck? No, dude. Wait a minute.

I'm trying to see if anyone messaged me on Twitter. I don't need it. them who what we're really made of. You're like, we? What the fuck? No, dude. Wait a minute. I'm trying to see if anyone messaged me on Twitter. I don't need that. I'm just trying to see how my flyer is doing online. Yeah. In here, we pour whiskey. Hey, I'm here to tell you about PDS debt. No one wants to think about debt.

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I saw, yesterday too, I saw, this bummed me out yesterday. There was like a crash in Piedmont, California. Piedmont is, I think it's Piedmont. And it was, the news all day yesterday was like Cybertruck, Cybertruck killed three teenagers or whatever. But that's, what's fucked up about it is like, the amount of people that die in accidents every day from car accidents, it's countless all over cross country.

But they pointed out, cause it was a Cybertruck, which I was like, oh, this is very deliberate. And then I looked into it, it had nothing to do with the Cybertruck. They were just going too fast. These fucked up teenagers having fun. Yeah, but then I thought, man, that's so obvious media manipulation

to keep saying Cybertruck crash with three teenagers. Like, what would be the difference if it was a fucking Civic? If the Cybertruck failed and it caused it, I understand that's clearly, that's why you'd bring it up in the article, but all it was was they were speeding. Yeah. So you're like, oh dude this is you, I, that's what I don't like is when you're like,

this is you just trolling Tesla. Yeah. That's all you being like, see? Yep. See what happens when Elon fucking buys Twitter and MSNBC? Now we're gonna use this kid's death to be like, actually it was Tesla, Elon. Yeah, it's like trying to take- It had nothing to do with them dude, they were fucking flying.

It is disgusting dude. It does suck We're caught in the crossfire just billionaires like manipulating information. It's like multiple countries, too. It's kind of terrible I will say the one thing I've been enjoying Is it's like I like I don't give a fuck what people do but I there are tapes now You know destiny the guy who is like he's like he's like a YouTube arguer He comes always like well actually and oh that guy I've seen that guy Yeah, he a sex tape drop and I dude everyone's like up his ass He literally there's a tape of him like blowing a guy and everyone's against him and I'm like I actually like his response

He went on he was like yeah, he got me like whatever it's sometimes. I blow guys. It was like alright kind of honorable. Yeah, but somehow Nick Fuentes who's like he's like from the darkest corner of the internet He's like super like he's like super anti-semitic like hates his whole thing is just like, you know He's like a kind of a controlling kind of a guy's guy Like follow him make sure we start following follow, but now he it's a weird like internet karma. He's just been a nasty guy Oh, he's a pod goblins guy. He just goes and says terrible things online What you know, we've all done me. You know, I'm a superior but the things online, which you know we've all done, I mean, none of us are pure, but he now,

I think like the Pakistani government or somebody has been putting it out that he got his dick sucked by Destiny, the other online guy. Whoa. And these weird worlds collided in this like accusation of like a video tape, so now there's guys who don't like Nick Fuentes, who are going through Destiny's like supposed sex videos,

just to try to find this anti-semitic eye blowing. Just it's imploding, the internet's just falling on itself. Or it's perfect. It's exactly where it needs to be. It was a weird thing of online karma. It's like if you do deal with the negative, it will come back somehow. Why did that guy, the Destiny,

I have seen him argue a lot. He's the guy, he's kind of a lisp, like yeah, he has like a little bit of a lisp. Yeah, and you kind of do like seeing, it's like on the liberals get owned all the time. He's the guy his kind of a little yeah He's like a little of a lisp and yeah, you kind of like it's like you like it's like I'm like the liberals get owned all The time it's like help people look actually and everybody's going like some other guy will come into the video like this is exactly I'm talking about him versus uh what's the change my mind guy Charlie Kirk or he's done Yeah, there's like the ideological. I do like the ideological bukkake's where it's like Charlie Kirk first 27 charlotte freshman They all come up like, oh, oh, oh, oh, fuck you!

Yeah, I love it. Everyone's like, yes! I could tell by your blue hair that you're obviously not religious. Yeah. And everyone's like, whoa! They're fucking like, it's like an oh, everything is like an own. I know. It's like watching And One videos from back in the day

when everyone's like, oh! Fucking going nuts. He does like these baby little slams on people. It is funny because they're always circular arguments because they're so embedded in their position. It's almost like you're not proving anything scientifically. You're just, you're rotating your opinion. So these are just two rotating opinions that keep hitting each other over and over.

So nothing is ever solved or even like, it's never even like a clever win. It's always like, how can I say a thing that you just don't have an answer to that's what all those things have become how do you just not have an answer to this because you're either not informed enough or you don't have the stats in front of you exactly I mean that's all it really is my favorite version of that is what's the fucking who's the old old black guy that's like Jesse Lee Peterson is that him dude is he like he's he's old as shit and he's like he's like black people are they all worth it The funniest guy to ever live well explain me how you being a whore helps. Yeah, he like just crushes women

He is incredible, but you are a slut Tell me why black people need God They don't they they need God anymore everyone's like look dude. You fucked it He goes so beyond people don't have an answer to his chaos. That's what's beautiful about him It is kind of nice. He trolls he trolls so hard that people have at least in that format It's pure comedy mmm like and I he's got to be self-aware like he has to know it's funny Because the other ones feel like it it's it's like rigorous jerking off and never coming. They're just fighting and never coming Yeah, a lot of them now just talk there. It's like a arms race to talk faster and faster Everyone's Shapiro each other do you talk so fucking fast? And it's just like well actually I don't know 1942 little and you're like you win dude

I don't I can't prove any of that stuff. I can't even think that fast. I'm done. I quit I need to write it down as I'm listening he the the destiny guy wait I want to know though was the I gotcha moment because he's this he's not gay or he doesn't even care He was just like I wasn't really putting it out there like that, but he's like yeah, I Sometimes I fuck around and get real gay and videotape It's funny that they ran out of shit to fucking come at him for they're like you suck How about you suck can he say yes? Yep? He's like yeah He's like sometimes I do but they caught him they but they like use that as being like he had a horrible take about soldiers No, like of course. He's out here blowing guys cuz he hates soldiers. You're like dude. Just fucking take it day off, dude

Take one day off and relax trying to find those threads I think that always Sunny clip where Charlie's like pinning all these things against her just like cracked out You're trying to find threads over why why him sucking Yeah, he hates the military We have video of him sucking dude. He hates God this well, and it's like I don't know it's like yeah Maybe but it's like it's just it's just sad man you go on it's like we could be hyping each other up Yeah, imagine if every day people were just everyone's on the internet being like dude you fucking rule you rule the best You're like killing it fucking rule dude. I fucking love you.

You're a fucking waste of space. You suck. You ruin the podcast. You're like, all right. Maybe that's the answer to what the next stage will be. This has to morph into something else. And now, like with a second Trump era, I am interested to see what the twist is.

Because the first one was like this social, combative fucking hate-fueled everyone's mad at each other. Maybe the opposite will be now. It might break, yeah. The fever might break, man. Yeah, it might be over. He might kill, but it's like, will they give him if he does somehow kill it? Because this is like, apparently, I don't know how much of it's real or fake, but he is like, like, slashing all these different, like, bureaucratic bodies,

and maybe they get better? I don't know, but it's just... We'll see. Yeah, we will see. It could be. Honestly, or, or, or, nothing will change. True. Or it's just we're all reading headlines, like, oh, it's just the same dark machinery. Just zonked out.

Well, because you see these videos that go, I saw a woman yesterday, she was crying online, and she got all this attention, hate for sure, it was all hate, and she got all this hate about, she's like, I'm gay and I'll never be able to walk down the aisle, Trump is gonna take away all my rights as a woman and as a gay woman and then like the infighting underneath that It's the most entertaining thing on fucking planet Earth It's unbelievable like that should be yeah the news the news should just be a channel of rotating comment infighting about it

Kind of is the news a lot of news is like people are angry at blah blah blah You know it'll be like people are mad at Joe Rogan because of X Y & Z and then it'll just be like 17 comments and they're like see everyone's pissed at him and it's like this is internet comment, you're just giving me internet comments. That's how I know we're in a we're in a in a fucking fantasy time that's not even real that what's the girl from the view that went after Rogan? Bayhart yeah yeah and said he's like this guy believes in dying and dragons yeah that's one of the funniest clips and then Joe's like this guy believes in in dine and dragons. That's one of the funniest clips. And then Joe's like, this guy believes in dragons.

He's mocking her. Dude, it's such a hilarious side by side. That's just, that's where we are now. The view, the view is commenting on Ron Rogan is so funny to me, dude, it's so funny. Well, they clearly, I mean, maybe, I don't know if I'm just making this up, but those networks do definitely get their talking points from some sort of agendized

Like directive think tank 100% like they definitely do and it's like in Rogan's a threat because he has billions of viewers He's now kind of like, you know favoring Republicans and the same with Tesla like Tesla has X So they got to take those two guys down strategically, right? Just so they can like build oil pipelines in Ukraine whatever the fuck They're trying to do whatever's going on in Ukraine I don't know call Zelinsky they have They have Nazis apparently do they think so there's Nazis in Ukraine now are not like a lot of Nazis in you Damn, they're like a strong faction of just like straight up. Apparently there's Nazis in Utah. I've heard I've heard northern

You this part makes a lot of sense. I've heard northern you this part makes a lot of sense ever northern Utah is like like Nazis Utah feels like if I was a Nazi that's where I would go it feels like home Paradise dude out there big streets hills also Utah Salt Lake I've always loved Salt Lake every time I go play I'm like such a fucking beautiful city, but then the more you sink into it the more it feels a little bit What's that what such you know tiny tiny boxes on the hill separate shit but then the more you sink into it, the more it feels a little bit, what's that, you know, tiny, tiny boxes on the hill, it's Stefford shit. Where it feels extremely like formatted.

You're almost like, who built, what built this? It feels very like, it's quiet, it's organized, it's very like pristine, like no one's really out of order. It is not, cause that's when you walk around a city like LA or New York, or like you feel things that are, you know, that are broken. You're like, ah, nice, good. Yeah, yeah.

It feels human again. You know, you can see the cracks. But there you're like, there's no cracks and nobody, nothing feels out of order. It's really creepy to me. Yeah, well don't they like, I think in Utah, in Salt Lake City, they have to like, they can only serve you so much liquor

and they almost have to like write down, there's like limits on how many shots. Well the percentages, so they brew beer specifically for they have a limit on how much alcohol so a regular Budweiser or whatever has less alcohol content there. Yeah, right so they brew specifically for that and they are I Think they have a regulation over what that how much they can serve you and they close early Yeah, they close early cuz there I thought there'd be like like I thought Mormons were like Amish people there'd be like four of them you'd see I mean look they're like they run the whole so they run that everywhere It is it is nice. It's very I like kind of like it But it's beautiful it is creepy you like everywhere you go something's just off every interaction you have

You need to feel a little bit of fear is good You need to be like oh man something could hurt me in this in this world That's why that's like you know know, when we got weird just down in Australia, it's like because so many of these animals down there don't have any predators. There's no natural predators. Yeah, yeah. That like the animals are worthless, disgusting creatures. Yeah. Like kangaroos, you're like, they're incredible. Then you see them, you're like, this thing's fucking gross. This is a big weird rat. They do suck. They suck. Yeah, they suck. You think it's gonna be dope and you're like, I don't know man, it's just like a big fucking rat. A lazy lazy weird rat dude there that was pretty disappointing to see them

I went I was in Australia and I saw them just like laying around and you're like you could feed them and shit And it was like you know you grab them. They don't do shit. Yeah, those ones are pretty docile Did you hold the koala bear or the it was a koala? Yeah. Yeah, they tell you have fucking syphilis. Yeah Oh, yeah, I was like, what the fuck is yeah, why'd you give it to me that? I don't want this like on our on my tour. I can't get it Yeah, I think so we went to touch the quackas to same thing But those things are just they're they're just big rats. Everything is a big rat Everything there is a big fucking rat and it quals a rat without a tail

They're just lazy sad because nothing's gonna kill them They also fall, you know, they fall from super high and they don't die Well, cuz they they pass out 30 feet 40 feet yeah, they bounce like a motherfucker eat it. It's crazy. Yeah, Australia was did you go in there? So you went in there wintertime basically we just went we just got back two weeks. Yeah, how was how was it jet lag? Awful awful for these guys. You know why nobody fucking listen to me, dude. I even said it They didn't fucking listen to me because I said we were leaving from Perth, which is the furthest west Yeah, and so I said on the first listen to me because I said we were leaving from Perth, which is the furthest west. And so I said, on the first leg to Sydney,

I was like, do not sleep. Don't sleep. Don't sleep, because the flight we planned home, I go, when we leave, then we'll land in LA at noon. So you'll be good. So sleep on the second leg as much as you can. Stay up on the first chunk of the second leg and then pass out all these dildos.

I saw Bobby, I was making fun of Bobby. He's on his iPad and I look over to go to sleep and I go he's in the other and I go Try to go to sleep and he's just like Right back to his fucking iPad. He was up the whole fucking time So these guys were clipped for how many days four days? I mean, I still have remnants of it crazy dude I got fucked. I was like I'll never go back because of that. I had to do I went to Vancouver with Shane flew out of Vancouver to Australia the flight there fucked me up I had heart palpitations for like six days And then I finally started to adjust by the time I did that it was we were there for like 12 days or 14 Whatever and then I flew out stayed up all night. We did a show the last night

By the time we got back to the hotel was like 1 a.m. the flight was at like 7 a.m. so I didn't sleep really so we get to the airport so early and then I stayed up pretty much the whole flight back the most part and then all the way to the East Coast got dropped off into the Newark Airport had to drive back to Philly from Newark after flying no and just got home my wife was like finally you're back you have to take the kids and I was like oh I was fucked for for like dude for like a week and a half. Yeah, it's fucked. It's fucked up Well, we jumped so many time zones because we went Sydney and then we did Auckland then we did Brisbane Adelaide Melbourne and then Perth So we jumped way too many time zones. Anyway, we did 10 shows 12 days. That's really is huge, dude

Like those flights. I'm like all the big 20- flight. Nope like four hour flights. Yes. It was dumb That was the dumbest it was great But it was the dumbest traveled we've ever done like we should have planned that a little bit better because you know when they when They sell you on it. They're like dude, then you'll just go to the next show the next night. You're like okay Yeah, this would be great. What about another night? You're like, okay Yeah, so we just said yes to all of it and then as we got there we were like fuck dude This is a bad idea. This is genuinely a bad idea Yeah, but it was worth it. I mean it was a fun. It was cool because

You know People don't go down there as much. Yeah performers don't go as much so when you do go down there the love was Fucking crazy. Yeah, I had a blast when I was there everyone was cool as shit. I was very never the flight sucks So bad, I'm like people like well you can go like stop in Hawaii for two days It's like no, I'm not gonna fucking stop in Hawaii. I dedicate a month to my life to us. I'm not doing this No, it that is so funny stop in Hawaii. Stop in Hawaii for like a week and then go there. I'm like, okay Yeah, I'll be chillin Hawaii. Mr. Tire. I'll just retire I'll just stop. I'll just end up in French Polynesia and just fucking call it a day This is it. I saw when I is it. When I first went to Australia, the first thought was,

the first day I had jet lag and I was solo when I was there two years ago, and I was sitting in my hotel room and I was by myself and no one was there yet from the crew that the movie we were doing, and I had like a little bit of a panic attack and I thought I'm so far from home. Dude, it's weird. I'm so far from home that if anything happened, I'm absolutely fucked. I'm stuck. And then you talk to someone from home and you feel like you're in the future. They're like, it's yesterday and you're like, what? What happened? What are you talking about? What's going on over there? You're going to sleep right now? I'm just waking up. Like completely. And then I would like, at night time I would see the constellations

and I'm like, I don't recognize these. I'm on the total different part of the fucking world. We talked about that, yeah. Dude, I'm telling you, I was having like heart palpitations and Shane kept laughing at me. I was like, yeah. I'm telling you I was having like heart palpitations and Shane kept laughing at me. I was like dude. I'm telling you my body is like a different electrical pole And he was like will you shut the fuck up? It's true though. I'm like it's electric. I'm having my electricity My body's freaking out. He's like dude shut the fuck up about the electricity. That is a real thing. I know it is. You're upside down You're you're the we said the other because the you some of the constellations are the same they share But they have ones that you do not see. I was freaking me out That's what I'm saying. We said the other, because the, you, some of the constellations are the same they share, but they have ones that you do not see.

I was freaking me out. It's fucking tight. I like him in Texas now, and I look at the sky, and I'm like, oh, what the fuck is that? Are you guys gonna stay in Texas, you think? I think so, I like it. I actually love it a lot. And yeah, it's, whatever it is,

like, especially with kids, I don't wanna move them around. Yeah, that's tough for them. So it's like, by the time the oldest is six, like, it's just, we're locking it in, and like, just, you know, doing a shift to wherever one of the greatest guys to fucking move here Matt fucking McCusker all right dude look I appreciate you you're on tour right now you're playing tonight obviously this will be out after that but you have other dates lined up yeah yeah they're

all the kids the dates December's pretty much, but I have let me let me bust it off dude. I'm gonna go buy all that It's Matt McCusker comm MCC USK er you're not gonna remember that but go to put it in the description below Matt McCusker comm will be in the description down below in the Under YouTube's yeah, let me just give you a quick thing. What, maybe? Funny Bone, Ohio, I'll be there January. Dania Beach, Florida. Funny Bone, Columbus, Ohio.

And it's a different Funny Bone in Ohio. A lot of Funny Bones. Just Michigan, all over the place. Go to MattMcCusker.com. Go to MattMcCusker.com, we'll put it in the description. Go see him, you're one of the funniest people I fucking am privileged to just start, started to get to know, man.

Thank you, bro, you're a fucking man. We end the show the same way. You look in that camera. You say one word or one phrase to end the episode. Kind of impart wisdom or whatever comes to mind to end the episode. Oh, man. You're a deep man. I feel like something's brewing in there. Yeah, just one word? No, you can do a phrase too. One word or a phrase.

It used to be a word, but then people were like, oh, I want to say it. Give me a phrase. Dude, you know what the..., the last book, the book I'm reading right now, I like a lot. It's called Money and the Meaning of Life, and it's like this meandering long thing. But the thing I really like is like, again, talking about like your base natures and your higher ideals, and you can't ignore your base natures. And he was talking about the idea that like, you know, if you take like the worship of money or fame or status, he's like, it's a real force And it's not something you should try to cut yourself off from or be like I'm better than that

But you have to relegate it to being the second most important thing in your life like sex all that stuff It's like you can't be ashamed of it It's there, but just make it the second second most important thing be a pig be a gross greedy pig We all are naturally, but just try to make it the second most important thing in life About that are naturally but just try to make it the second most important thing in life. Perfect. I love that. I'll be thinking about that for a couple days. That is good. Make it the second most important thing. Second most important. Be a pig. Yeah. Second.

In here, we pour whiskey. Whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey. Oh, that creature in the ginger beard. Sturdy and ginger. Like that. The ginger gene is a curse. Ginges are beautiful. You owe me five dollars for the whiskey and seventy-five dollars for the curse. Gingers are beautiful. You owe me five dollars for the whiskey, and seventy-five dollars for the horse.

Gingers, oh hell no. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers.