Whiskey Ginger with Andrew Santino - Matteo Lane & Nick Smith

Episode Date: November 1, 2024

Matteo Lane returns to the show and he brought the unfiltered Cruela Deville of New York City: Nick Smith. These two are simply hilarious. Are they even friends? Be sure to check out their podcast "I never liked you" everywhere you get your podcasts. Also, Matteo has a cookbook called "Your Pasta Sucks" can you imagine?!? #matteolane #nicksmith #whiskeyginger #podcast #andrewsantino =========================================== Sponsor Whiskey Ginger: https://public.liveread.io/media-kit/whiskeyginger SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS HUEL Use Promo Code: WHISKEY FOR 15% OFF YOUR ORDER https://huel.com MANDO Use Promo Code: WHISKEY FOR $5 OFF YOUR ORDER http://shopmando.com SHIPSTATION Offer Code: WHISKEY TRY SHIPSTATION FREE FOR 60 DAYS! http://shipstation.com KALSHI Download The App Today! https://kalshi.com/whiskey ======================================= Follow Andrew Santino: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ https://twitter.com/CheetoSantino Follow Whiskey Ginger: https://www.instagram.com/whiskeyging... https://twitter.com/whiskeyginger_ Produced and edited by Joe Faria IG: @itsjoefaria Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What up, Whiskey Ginger fans? Welcome back to the show. It's your first time joining the show. Welcome to the show. We got a good one for you today. We got a double dose for the boys. And for the Wistgins fans, come see your boy live. I am on tour, friends, right now. Tonight, as of right now, I'm in Grand Rapids. Tomorrow night, I'm going to be Detroit, Michigan. Love Michigan. Come out and see me. Then I tour internationally. Me and Bobby go down under. And if you're down under, go to badfriendspod.com. You can see us on the road. We're playing all over Australia, New Zealand,

and then Singapore. Then I'm back and I'm doing a ton of dates. Go to AndrewSantino.com. I'm all over the place when I get back. I do New Orleans and North Carolina and San Antonio and Chicago and San Diego and Minneapolis and San Francisco and Boston. We keep adding dates.

Go to AndrewSantino.com for those tickets. AndrewSantino.com for those tickets. AndrewSantino.com. In here, we pour whiskey. Whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey. Oh, that creature in the ginger beard. Sturdy and ginger. Like that. The ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are beautiful.

You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse. Gingers, oh hell no. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers. Ginger. I like gingers. Ginger. I like gingers. Ginger. I like gingers. Ginger. I like gingers.

Ginger. I like gingers. Ginger. I like gingers. Ginger. I like gingers. Ginger. I like gingers. Ginger. I like gingers. Ginger. I like gingers. Ginger. I like gingers. Ginger. I like gingers. Ginger. I like the horse. Ginger's all hell now. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger, I like gingers. You guys are so much fun.

I loved it, man. I couldn't believe what you guys do at your show. Well, you know, it's ridiculous. It's just so, it's combative and like, there's like, it feels like a WWE event. Yeah, it is raw, It's Friday Night Raw. Well, I don't know if you know this, but we told you this, when we did Vegas,

Bobby, for a year, was it a calendar year? Is that what it is? Banned from MGM? Was it a year? What did he do? Is that what it was? Probably around there. Around a year.

What did he do? So this is the funny thing about Las Vegas is, you know, nudity is legal in Las Vegas, but only in venues where it's approved. It's funny. Vegas is actually really, really stingy about like, like a prostitution is illegal in the city of Las Vegas. Legal in Nevada, illegal in Las Vegas County.

Oh, so you can go outside of it. That's why there's brothels outside of it, like way outside of it. But in the actual city city it's illegal. So nudity in these venues, big no-no, unless it's a part of the program, it's been sold that way. Also, they have the legal rights to do it. So they said, you cannot show any body part. Bobby traditionally loves showing his butthole. That's a huge bit for him.

It crushes. They said, do not, do not show anything. Within the first what, 10 minutes on stage? Opens up his butt to the crowd? I think it wasn't the full hole but it was gray area. But is he washing his ass to do very clean? You know what I mean, like it's very clean. I hope so.

No, no, no, no. How do you know it's very clean? We all see it constantly. No, no, stick to this, this is smart. How do you know it's very we all see it? No, no, see this smart. How do you know how Bobby's asses? Yeah, do we have to like do like a check? Okay, get out there. Check. Yeah, I need to introduce you guys first before you but this can be in the show as well Because I love you so much and we just like to chat ladies and gentlemen welcome back to whiskey ginger My guess it is one of my favorite people on if I said it for all my guests, but I mean once again today It's a double down. It's a two for one It's Matteo Lane and Nick Smith from their

beautiful emerging ascending podcast I Never ever liked you which is we do 15 minutes. That's it. That's it. We do seven episodes in a day We're good for a month and a half. We move on well Here's what's beautiful about it though the clips that I see and I commented about nothing seriously nothing carries the show Yeah, of course, but a bit but from his lack of knowledge Nick and from my stellar personality. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, actually I know nothing either We just did a spelling bee the other day and I don't know

But you're but here's the deal the reason the rhythm works is because he Nick has the looks and the style and the, kind of the accoutrement, if you will. Like, you know, like it's all the fixings. And you're, you set it up. You know, you brought, you're the caterer. You're just there. You're just there.

You brought the tablecloth and all of the utensils. I don't disagree Tell me the name though is so brilliant. How did you do who said well it started? I mean we were so we play This is gonna keep falling wait. How do I tighten it just don't worry honestly? We've been doing YouTube videos for a few years We saw our first one that really blew up was we went to the Olive Garden together. I know yeah it's fantastic. And these plates kept falling and Nick was like, Jesus Christ we're in World War III! Who's that an impression of really though?

Nick! That's your Liza. Oh well, I love the eye of a lasagna fritter. It's wonderful. It's so good. But then we're like, well we should do a podcast together, but I'm not someone who can sit and I'm not good at like, You're very good at like stand-up and hosting podcast. I can't do both. What do you mean you do do both? You've done both for so long. No, but 15 minutes of our conversations on the phone run 15 minutes. We talk seven times a day already. We were doing all these YouTube videos. We have this combative love-hate relationship, so then we were like, why don't we just fucking film our phone conversations?

That's it. And we just put together one topic, and we're like, okay, today we're gonna talk about, I don't know, clouds, and then that's it. We just go 15 minutes and see what happens. You don't do any research, though, at all. This is all under no circumstance. No. Wonderful. Does it sound like we do research?

No. No, but that's what makes it so good. Yeah. But also, I just don't, I'm like, 15 minutes, that's all I can do. Yeah,? No, but that's what makes it so good. Yeah, but also I just don't like 15 minutes. That's all that's all I can do But it's enough. It's enough You're getting enough in in a short amount of time that it doesn't really matter You don't feel like you need to do more anyway Yeah, cuz I about 15 minutes like I talked to Evan Williams a lot and Evan Williams after like What's up, man? Oh, what's going on man? Oh

whoo You know, I think it's great man, it's good. It's good. I love this. For people that don't know, you have to look up, he does a lot of great sketches where he will do kind of like a... Hi sir! Yeah, but he does, he does a lot of his stuff emulates... Lockstock can do smoke and barrels. What's wrong with me? Who did Lockstock? Oh, that was about the wonderful Gene Kelly. What's the name of the guy that did Lockstock can do smoke and barrels. What's wrong with me? Who did the lockstock? Oh, that was by the wonderful Gene Kelly. What's the name of the guy that did lockstock? Why can't I think of his name? What's the British director?

Guy Ritchie. Guy Ritchie! Yeah, yeah, that's what he does. He has a very Guy Ritchie like... He's like, we gotta get to the bank, man. And he'll switch to him in the backseat. Yeah. He's the best sober guy I know of doing the impression of the old days of the coke guy. Yeah. Like, he's so keen

at some people they try to do a drunk impression and you know if that's not good that's not what you i don't have to do impression just kind of lingers she just lives and gave you advice on what he says i don't know what about a man don't know what i mean i when we talk about our conversations usually run out after like fifteen minutes like i're like I go all right Evan I think we're done here. I don't have anything else to hear you, but yeah, man. It's that time. It's that time man, okay?

Okay, man, I'll talk to you later man. Does he open for you still? No, he's too busy filming and stuff. He's doing his own my Oprah. I usually bring like Amina Imani Sydney Washington was the first major Amina Imani, J. Caitlin Palufo very much so funny River Butcher just open for me He came out to Ohio and open for me. He was first one though Max Amini. That's what was Amina Imani You would love him. You know Amina is fucking good. She's a good time How did you know you cycle through you don't do stand-up though? I do you do just watch what you just started never go together I've opened for him you have he just started doing I said and then it's a letdown for the audience always

It's your time really get him up you get on Right you ever get a boo when you come out after Nick usually yeah Usually it's like this episode in The Simpsons where like, and now the world's second greatest band! And they're playing, they're all booing. She goes, why would they come to boo us? He's been doing stand up for like seven months, but I force him, I say you can't do anything but open mics. You've got to go to open mics every single night. Cause you don't want to give him the golden ticket. Is that what it is? But also too, like that's where, that's where it happens. Yeah, sure. But what if

he's better than that thing? Me? You're the thing I'm talking about. Not what if. He's already surpassed me. Because he's better than the thing. Right. No, but are you saying like you don't want to set him up too good to do just these big,

huge shows? You want him to get the- I let him come do like four or five. I was just saying, him and our friend Bob the Drag Queen, they let me do five minutes. I'm not doing him, four or five Bob the drag queen they let me yeah, I know 20 minutes sure sure sure but but also to Nick's doing great. He's naturally very funny. He's performed his whole life So it's a kind of natural Soliloquy into doing stand-up, but I said okay, you can do a tight five You know we have a podcast together audience. We're really excited to see you. Yeah, go go do five minutes

Go see how it feels well. That's what makes it easier is the audience knows me. Yeah, they do lose it when he walks out Have you have you ever had a set good? So good on his show that you think I'm ready to be replaced at any minute. I think every day. Yeah. Yeah, that's right. I want a real star Hi, once I got my hair, I was like, take me. Take me. I don't give a shit. This plane's going down.

I'm going down with a great hairline. A good face too. A kid's got a good face. You say that, he does have a good face. He does. Well, he's more my type. I am just, I. We would have good sex.

Here's the deal. Isn't it, you know him for a long time. Isn't it weird that in this dynamic, he's the straight one? Yeah, that is it, let it be. Yeah, that is it. But he can, he can fool, like if I brought him home, my dad would be like, this guy, I love this fucking guy. Who's this guy?

Football guy? Straights love him. Yeah, football guy. Is this a football guy that you remember? He can do impressions. I can do Liza Mellie singing God Bless America at the halftime show, but I don't know anything about football. Yeah, but you can pretend. I don't know that I could. Well, baseball I could because my Uncle Mike used to take us to Kamiski So we'd go to the White Sox games all the time. So actually in a baseball environment, I'm comfortable

I know what's going on because I was forced into submission outside of that no other sports. No, I mean Wrestling in high school made me so uncomfortable They're just so hot. I was like, yeah, what a tough time. Yeah, I mean, can you mean I just I couldn't even imagine I couldn't be around it. Hey coach, but they want to go back to the locker room now again He just says we got to keep going back in between is that true in between matches I did wrestling my cousin Michael was a wrestler and so we'd have to like go to his like wrestling games like I can't be around this like this is too overwhelming right now yeah they'd be like you in high school and like these

hot girls are in like spandex like rubbing up I couldn't handle it I went to art I took a job at the YMCA. I lied on the application to say that I was a lifeguard certified because this girl Laura that I had a huge crush on worked there as a lifeguard. And I went there just to work, to just to like see her. Did you end up dating?

No, God no, no, no, no, no, no. I've looked like this my whole life. She was gorgeous. You're good looking, what are you talking about? No, but she was so like cool and pretty and she like worked with kids She did all that shit where you're like this bitch is perfect. Yeah, you don't have to tell me twice. I get it Nick's from a town of like 300 people his dad is the mayor and they grew up next to a meth house Is your dad really the mayor? Yes, like a like a local or actually the mayor the mayor of our time

Yeah, I mean the town is literally seven hundred and what is the town? Can we know or no new milford, Pennsylvania milford pen? What's that like half is my family? That's why he's the mayor right okay? It was this I? Mean okay look growing up in a tiny town. How quickly did you know you needed to get out I? Always knew even from when I was really little that I would get out and no one really fought me on it They were like you got gotta get out of here. They were all like, yeah, that makes sense. The only person that was devastated when Nick came out

was his girlfriend at the time. The only one that didn't know, she was blind. Oh, sweet girl. Sweet guy, you were with him, Nick was with a mute for a couple of years. It was Helen Keller, actually. You were dating a girl when you came out? No, we had broken up, and then I went to college,

and I came back from college and I was like Remember when we met in musicals Guess what? Don't you think she knows see in high school? I feel like we all knew and I feel like the girl knew but didn't care Didn't care enough to break it up because it was probably such a good healthy relationship And we were young and yeah in high school. So like I'm singing together You didn't date a lot of women just one girl Francesca poor Francesca She's married with a kid and has a pitbull, but yeah, but you dated you didn't do anything with no

We didn't do anything really we'd make out of her. She lives in the Bronx. Where does she live? She lives in Chicago. She's still in Chicago. Yeah, we worked at the Mount Prospect Michaels arts and crafts together I was fired and why why were you fired? Well, I was stealing. Yeah, what am I talking about? We would also do this thing they've got they if you ever worked in retail they did something called returns, right? So like they come up with a cart and they're like, hey, this is all the stuff you put back in their place But me and Adam the front-end supervisor didn't want to like spend an hour trying to put everything back We wanted to go drink. Yeah, so we would say do you want to returns or returns? So we'd wink we would bag it up Take it to the back and throw it out and say done

And we will go home You are the reason for the collapse of Michael we I mean that one's down that Michaels is gone that's you longer exist Yeah, I did my work my friend Mike rice gross cough, and I were like we're like we're taking this from the inside out Yeah, you took it down. Yeah our manager Mary something she used to in July Mary She used to drive a jeep and she would have Giant scarves in the middle of the summer like July and you know Chicago in the summer and we really she's like it's so cold In here like oh, you just have hickeys all over your neck

The Michaels lady the Michael the hickeyed'd up manager of Michaels. Yeah. What's your shittiest job? Pizza Hut. Tell them about- Pizza Hut? Tell them, tell them. It was honestly the best two summers of my life. Tell them my first day of work.

My first day of work. I showed up, mind you I had to drive 40 minutes there, so I didn't even make enough to pay for the gas, but it's one of my favorite restaurants, and it was a sit down Pizza Hut. The original. The original. I don't know how old you are

but then we and it doesn't matter cuz I you're not allowed to ask but In high school the sit-down Pizza Hut was a hangout a meat a drug drop like a hookup spot Those are all fucking gone. They don't have fun. It's a car wash now. What a crock of shit Okay, so go ahead so use a sit-down down restaurant, buffet, the whole shebang, all the red cups, the Tiffany lights. The dream. The love. So I go and I show up and my manager at the time, who was a larger woman, very nice,

had three and a half teeth. Super nice. Let's call her Sarah and not by her real name. So she shows up, she's showing me around, and we get to the back, and it's before everything's opened, and we'll call him Joe, was back there getting the dough ready. Mm-hmm.

And she goes, Oh, Nick, you know, this is Joe. He's the delivery guy and the prep cook. And he goes, Hey, hey, and you met, come dumpster over there. And I go, what? And she goes, Joe, it's true. That's when I knew it was gonna be the best summer

of my life. You can't beat it. Was Joe and Sarah hooking up at all? Or was this just a playful, good old fashioned work restaurant love? Yeah, this is just a relationship. Yeah, work love. They've been working there for years.

That's my work wife, my cum dumpster. Joe, I think was fucking another one. Yeah, he was, so for sure. And I can't remember her name, but they would fuck on the prep station. Jesus. Well after hours. Wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's Pizza Hut.

Pizza Hut. That's Pizza Hut. And you know who was a silent partner at that time? Shaq. Shaq owned Pizza Hut? He was a silent partner. Oh, wow. And now he's a silent partner for... He's one of the, I know, he's something huge, right?

Maybe a bunch of Jimmy John's or not. But it's another pizza chain Oh, it's pizza. What a shack on no, it's funny. Someone else said this he owns like a ton of Franchise restaurants. Yeah, he invests in like canes. He's like silent partners of a lot of smart man Did she has a ton of money Papa John Papa John? He has a chacaroni extra-large piece. Excuse me Chacaroni extra-large they just threw our people down the toilet. God damn, Shakeroni. His favorite restaurant is the Olive Garden, so we brought my friend Francesco to Carlisle from Italy. He's a really funny comic, Francesco you should look him

up. So we went, he never had it before, and then Nick goes, he goes, he goes, this is a, and Nick goes, appropriation? He goes, no it's not appropriation because they steal nothing. Olive Garden is the best. My dad, who I showed And he goes appropriation. He goes no, it's not appropriation because they steal nothing Olive Garden is the best my dad who I showed you a photo of every single year at first It was a bit and then now for any occasion whether it's like a birthday Father's Day Christmas We get him a hundred dollar gift card to Olive Garden and at the beginning it was like a good joke But my father it's like the best. He's like, you know, I love that so very much because he goes by himself. He sits, he reads and he just eats unlimited bread, bread, six and salad. And it's, it's honestly, it's like his favorite little Tuesday activity. He's like, I really liked that you give that to me. What kind of Italian is your dad? No,

no, he's, he's first of all, that's my stepdad. He's not Italian. He's white. Yeah. Yeah. He's full white guy, South Southern. Yeah. He's not like us. Yeah. He's not Italian. He's white. Yeah. Yeah, he's full white guy south Southern yeah, he's not like us. He's yeah. He's not like you no no no not like you fresh off the boat who Matteo off the boat Matteo right off the boat you're right off the pilgrim pilgrim I am gonna yeah, I do an Italian. I do want to bring Nick to Italy just so he could see it I just don't know he'd be in a giant sun hat. I'd thrive He wears really really big sun hats because they don't want the sun hitting him and it's I mean he's porcelain That's porcelain over there. This is this is gonna be bad when you're older what but I'm I have no color right now I know but when I see you after you've been on vacation you very dark I crisp up yeah

Yeah, you gotta be careful. I know but I'm also part Mexican so I feel like my skin can handle it. You are? Yeah my grandpa's Mexican. Ugh lose my number. I had no idea. I thought it was all Italian. No no no I'm also part Mexican. I'm part Mexican. I know. And Irish. Oh yeah I never got to tell you this story. My grandpa, I've said this a couple times, my grandpa who's Mexican had five kids with my Nona my my my grandma and then at the same time had five kids with another woman and named them all the same name So he didn't confuse them what and then my grandma divorced him The like no no this is Chicago So there's one side of the city and the other side of the city mm-hmm wow and then my Mexican family just reached out to me Because they heard that story I said it Mike for Brabiglia's podcast and they were like, hi, this is so-and-so.

I'm Mateo's second cousin and we're still here. No way. So I might reach out to him and finally like make all the connection to my Mexican family. Wow. Because we have, I have pictures of my family in Mexico. My grandpa, my mom and him reconciled before he passed. And I was a kid and his name was Joaquin and so he sent us all these books like hey here's all of our family in Mexico so it's just all these Mexicans and I have no idea who they are so I can finally be like okay who's who who are my cousins who are my aunts who are my uncles like having a secondary family I mean that's like the the effort is insane I know dedication to Joaqu case you Lisa's yeah, so crazy

Wow and your mother at some they made up so yeah, my mom when she was 30 She because my grandma remarried a Sicilian my grandma's already Italian so she remarried a Sicilian so I grew up with an Italian culture Right, but I am part Mexican and then I my mom was like obviously upset about her dad Just left when she was 10. Yeah, so when she was 30 She's like fuck it. I'm finding him and they did and he admitted to everything Wow everything at one point two because my grandma Obviously didn't want my grandpa back in their life So she was like he wanted me to abort you and this and that my mom asked me goes. Yeah, that's true Whoa, he goes I did I asked her to abort you and Anyone ask your mom to abort you no My dad did get a vasectomy

right after I was born though so. That's that. Cause my Aunt Lisa said it. My Aunt Lisa saw a photo of me, you know Italian women, my Aunt Lisa saw a photo of me and she goes ah, the mistake. I'll never forget that. In here we pour whiskey. Hey I'm here to tell you about Huell. Busy mornings, late nights, working through lunch. This happens all the time. Happened to me today. Life doesn't always leave room for a complete balanced meal. That's where Huel comes in.

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Meanwhile, your parents are still together. Oh, they are still together. I know, I can feel it. I can feel, you know why? Cause you glow glow you glow. Well, that's the skin. Oh, that is okay That's what it because we're dim. We're dim. We're child of we're children of shattered all Italians are dim Yeah, they're well, they're broken. The families are always broken up. They're always shattered something bad went down My dad for your reference was in prison when I was a kid Pretty much my whole childhood. So it's kind of like the shattering of that makes us kind of these just cynical assholes.

Yeah, I remember when I was little we were doing like a family tree, and then you have to say like, I'm such and such, what does that mean? So like if you were Russian or so I just said, I'm Italian, so what does that mean? I'm in third grade, I call my grandma, I'm like, hey, Nana, what does it mean to be Italian thinking she's gonna say like family food she goes when everything's going well something bad's gonna happen so I wrote that down nothing going well man can happen I said it in class yeah great but it was real of course that's how they all that is that is and I'm Irish I'm Irish and Italian Irish are the worst because they're they don't share anything to

each other they don't talk about anything and wish Italians didn't share with yeah But it's even worse because then you find out all the terrible shit years later and on top of that They're also the others waiting for the other shoe to drop yeah, so that's even at least the Italians are loud about it They wear it out loud Yeah, like you know like going to dinner when I was kids my dad and their family It's like I just took that we just went to Lou Melnati's I Fucking love Lou Melnati just went to lose. We went to the original one, too We went to like the downtown Lou no Lou one Lou number one is in like I Wanted to like in Lincoln Lincoln what it's not by Norwich. It's it's what is it which Lou number one?

And we went out there for my dad's birthday Lincoln would Lincoln would oh my god. I got a fucking work I used to go to the Lincoln with movie theaters all the time. Yeah, Lincoln Caesar and Mark and Chuck That's the original the old one. It's all the same. They kept it the same. It's beautiful Yeah, but like you know it's a big banquet room these old pizza places. Yeah We are by far the loudest. It's filled with people everyone is looking at our table Yeah, because it's like my dad wants to know the words. Hey, what's your name? And she's like, Lisa. He's like, Lisa! And it's like, you don't, that's okay. And she looks like with this, they're like concerned. Please. Yeah. What do you want? I know. I've had so many like times growing up where like my,

the management has to come to our table and be like, actually I had a family guy once, which is so embarrassing, making a family guy reference but I'm a family guy They were like the secret the secret phrase is something no one has ever said and you find out the end like what was the secret Phrase that Italian family is behaving very well in public It's just so loud and heavy and I had to get used to it as a kid Because although I'm a loudmouth performer those things embarrass the shit out of me. In terms of like, I don't like the attention of the people of the loom, unless it's for

the thing, unless it's for a purpose. Yes, but outside of it, I get so- He's obsessed with all my ants. You love them all. Do they love you? I feed into it, of course. Yeah, you play into it. You give them more.

I'll never forget, he had just done the Chicago theater and I met his family for the first time afterwards at the after party and there were about 172 women, all that looked the same. They all had mustaches, so I knew they were his aunts. And his aunts were leaving and they all have the same hair and they left about 30 minutes before me. So I'm leaving and I'm thinking,

I'm not gonna run into any of them, I'm gonna go. And like a scene out of a movie, I walk out of the Chicago theater. It's like a misty night, there's steam coming from the ground and this one aunt is just chain smoking at the end of the alleyway and she goes, yeah, we're still here. You thought we left, we didn't leave. I thought we left? We didn't leave.

I thought my... We don't ever leave. I thought, so Rodrigo was the first time he met my whole family. Like he met all of them at once. At the Chicago Theater. At the Chicago Theater. Pretty daunting. I was like, okay, well he's Mexican.

He'll be fine. He's used to like, you know, so anyways, you're doing the thing. You meet and greeting, you're saying hi to everybody. I turn around, I look and my mom and three of her sisters are holding on to his hair Feeling it. They wanted to feel how nice his hair was so all the more I'm turning around They're all give us your hair Rodrigo. Let us touch your hair. They're going they're like Look, it's so thick. Uh-huh. He's just standing there while these women are just I thought guys stop touching him I thought guys stop touching him

Gonna go down Okay, you are a touchy guy I am what do you guys in terms of like because I've known Matteo so well for so long It's interesting to see somebody so well put together function with him because he is Well, this is a mess. I was gonna say, I'm flattered. Yeah, but you do a good show. Yeah, you put on a good... It's a facade.

It's very good. It's a facade. He's a fucking mess. But do you share the same love of, like, his quirky loves? Like, you know, like, Simpsons and cartoons, and, like, do you love that stuff, too? Some things, yes, and some things, no. Well, Nick loves to like nick Here's a typical phone call from Nick. He'll watch a show

I've never seen and then tell me the entire show and then after is like you gotta watch it He gets very angry about things like Lord of the Rings. We love watching Netflix Christmas movies together We saw them green at them at the top of our legs But we play fortnight every night with our friend Donnie and simmer horrible the video game tie is there yeah And nick is the worst He's absolutely awful at the game four years. I've learned nothing nothing Nothing, he plays a social he plays as a secretary. I'm the team morale That's why I liked it Bobby tried to get me to do call of duty and all that shit another

Places a secretary with a pencil skirt and when he's running you hear From his heels, and then he he doesn't learn how to build doesn't know how to edit and our friends Donnie and simmer Corey They're all straight. They're like you fucking suck Nick. You're the worst. You're not a team player Don't hate the player hate the game. He's a gaslighting manipulating Monster when we play what's the clip that you put up about him walking into the room? I left so hard you guys were playing I think you're playing Call of Duty and he walked in a room Oh, that was a does a friend Jacob with Another gate Jacob was looking at the wall, and he was like this wallpaper is really cute

We could live here, and then we got shot immediately. I was left. That's that actually is the hardest I've laughed my child. I couldn't pick myself. I have the whole video on YouTube. I couldn't pick myself up I did a whole compilation of the mean things he says in fortnight one time We were playing and we were talking about when you get operators, you know? He goes, one time I was waiting 40 minutes and this woman picked up. She goes, this is Sally from Verizon. How can I help you? I said, Sally, I'm going to immediately need to speak to your manager because I can tell you're not going to be able to help me

and I don't want to waste my time with you. We were like, Kim Kondo was playing with us. She was like, Nick! Yeah, but was he wrong? No, I can sense weakness Anytime you call customer service and it's robots Yeah, like 20 minutes before you get to a real person by the time you get to a real person you're riled up Yeah, yeah, you are your fault. You know if they're overly nice They're not gonna help you just, they're not gonna help. You just know they're not gonna help.

So you need, when you get customer service, you need an attitude-filled, kind of snappy, short person to answer, because you know they'll probably get shit done. Because they don't want to waste any time with you on the phone either. So they'll probably get Chipotle for fighting. And they're not following the book quite.

Yeah, why don't you talk about Chipotle when you got kicked out of Chipotle? I go to Chipotle every single day for lunch. No lie. That's not an exaggeration. I go to Dunkin' every single morning, and I go to Chipotle every single day. God bless Dunkin'. And's not an exaggeration. I go to Dunkin' every single morning and I go to Chipotle every single day. God bless Dunkin'. And by the way, during the pandemic, cause he's afraid of grocery shopping,

he gets nervous about it. So when they were... So do I. I don't. He doesn't. I refuse to go. Okay, but grocery stores are so weird. I don't like them.

Really? It's a layer of hell. Yeah, I don't like it. It gives me anxiety. I don't know where anything is. Yep, same. There's too many options. Why do we have all those options?

And the signs are wrong. Signs are wrong. They're not they're not are not wide enough, right? He I I don't know what I want to eat for an entire week. Why am I buying everything on a Monday? I don't know what I'm gonna want to eat Friday No clue and I don't want to go back tomorrow to get no snow. It's a nightmare under no circumstances I'm on your team so hard. I've got you guys are insane. I hate it. It's cool Yeah, it's I like I have such anxiety. I get such bad anxiety. Yeah, I have had I've got your team so hard. I've got you guys are insane. I hate it. It's also, I have such anxiety. I get such bad anxiety. I have had, I've had anxiety.

I fucking hate it. It gives me this. It's that bright hum of those fluorescent lights and the shitty floors. It's something about it gives me like, and I get panic. You know what I do go? I called him and right after that,

I left with ice cream cones. No ice cream. No ice cream. No ice cream. Soup. Soup, cereal with no milk, and like a loaf of bread. He goes, when New York was shutting down, he's like, I'm not going to go. I said, Nick, you have to go.

He goes, I get Dunkin' every morning. Because they're closing Dunkin'. I said, you're going to have to make your own iced coffee. He goes, I'm not Laura Ingalls Wilder. And I'm not. And my girls at Dunkin', they stayed open longer than they should have. Dunkin' is the best. Dunkin' broke all the COVID rules.

They didn't abide by any of it. Before COVID, they're just breaking everything. They're just like, they're caution to the wind at Dunkin' donuts. They can't even get graded. You know when they come grade them, they're like, look, it is what it is. We'll just leave.

People who come in here know what they're getting in here. Their eggs are a UFO. I mean, none of it's good. It doesn't matter. It's Duncan, it's Duncan. Oh, hold on, I need to get back real fast. Can I guess your Chipotle order? Can I try?

Yeah. Because you go every day. Are you a bowl guy? Bowl. Okay, so you're a bowl guy. And a piece of me thinks, you go with the white rice. Of course.

You go with the Pinto's if you're you go black I go no beans. I do black beans. I do the black too. Yeah Yeah, I thought I guess Pinto because I thought you may make so no beans and now have you tried the new Whatever the brisket ends or whatever they have have you tried this yet? What yeah put your poli? Maybe it's receipt. It's a regional thing They have like new brisket now at Chipotle here. Interesting. Not far from here.

Are you a barbacoa boy? Chicken. A chicken boy. And also it's double white rice. And it has to be plain. He eats so plain, plain, plain, plain. So then when we go down the aisle here, we're talking no salsa?

I get queso. Okay, so that's not salsa. Salsa are tomatoes and cilantro. Queso is cheese. Salsa is something you dip. This is a good point. This is honestly it's like is a hot dog is a hot dog a sandwich. You said you're Mexican. Salsa is something you dip. This is where the gaslighting begins. No, but this is there's partial truth to this. It is true. It is salsa can be defined as anything that you dip you dip know if you say salsa you're talking tomato cilantro and onion I am traditionally, but he's throwing a fucking case. Oh is case. Oh actually by the way. You know what I'm case Oh, what's in case? Oh?

Tomatoes they have little tongues of tomatoes in the case. Oh, yeah, they cut up little pieces of tomato in there Because they have several dips different types of salsa. They got the green one, the red one. Yes, the tomatillo, or they've got the hot, the spicy. Let me teach you about Mexican culture. Thank you. I'd like to know. Cheese, lettuce, sour cream? No sour cream.

No cream? You're a no cream boy. I don't like sour cream either. You're wrong about this, by the way. I don't like it. You get a little dollop. A little dollop will do you right on top. What are those dumb commercials like? Dollop a daisy! It got me. It got me. so I don't like it. You get a little dollop a little dollop will do you right on top? Those dumb commercials like dollar Daisy yeah, got me it got me and I do like sour cream really yeah, it's in like cheesecake. I'm like I'm out Yeah, it's not in cheesecake. They put it in sometimes. Yeah, well now. I'm not gonna eat it anymore

Wait, it is really in cheese some time some some people do it okay? All right, so then actually no sour cream, but we're getting do The tiniest amount of corn that they will I was just gonna ask you to do the corn. Yeah, you asked for it Then I say as little corn as possible Would you like none then you're like cuz then I'm like, oh I'm getting a vegetable right you're getting something It's not a vegetable. It just goes through you It just goes there it has no nutritional value. So what is it if it's not a vegetable? Doesn't corn have like zero nutritional value to it?

Well I'll tell you, yeah it does come out the same way it goes in, which I think is pretty bold. It's a pretty, yeah it's a pretty, what an unoriginal food. It's me, it's me. It provides a variety of essential vitamins, minerals, and antioxidants. That sounds vague enough to be a lie. Corn does? lie corn does I thought they said corn has no nutritional value. It seems like it wouldn't Nick I'm the one that has your mic is on the ground Mike I

Love that we gave you the broken mic. I did right. That's so perfect. Normally Andrews. Yeah, that is my mic Yeah, that's my usual. I'm a broken mic Smart very smart. Okay, so then chips with the queso. Yes Normally, I just get the bowl but it depends because I go every day my girls sometimes just give me free chips in case You've got to get the chips because that's how I scoop out the bottom of the bowl. That's my favorite part. Oh No, I'm doing that with my fork. Oh see see, I scoop it out with my... That's my... My favorite part is to have the queso dip and then at the very end take the chips and scoop out the rest of the bottom of the bowl with the chips.

That's my favorite. My Chipotle... I'm so boring with Chipotle. You're a burrito guy, aren't you? No, I get a burrito bowl. He's a psychopath. But I just want as little as possible because I just really want the protein. So I'll get like half a thing of rice like barely any rice double steak yeah but he makes them give

him the rice without no okay I have that thing where cilantro tastes like soap wait a minute but the night when the rice it's all over the right but they have it they have it already made without the cilantro they don't yes they do it comes that way no no no they have it you say I want rice without cilantro and the rice that they have they cook it They mix it with me the face Nick. Give me the face that they make when he asks for that Give me the face that they make And tell them why you all have the cilantro because it tastes like soap, what do you mean?

Why soap you're one of these guys that says it tastes now? Wait a minute my 23 Me says you're genetically predisposition to not like cilantro. It's a thing. On your 23andMe, it says it does. Under no circumstances does your genetic makeup say you're part Mexican, you're part Irish, you're part Italian. By the way, cilantro is gonna taste like soap to you. This may shock you, but genetics are pretty detailed. Yes, it does. That they specifically mention cilantro? Yes, it does. So when I get mine, it's gonna say specifically mentioned. Yes. Yes, so when I get mine It's gonna say oh by the way corn's not gonna digest

This is what I'm talking about what a monster. I've never I'm the monster I've never like look up about this cilantro shit you have cilantro. He's got our 682 gene cluster is a common Ophactory receptor gene that's responsible for absorbing the odor of adhesives and cilantro or Adi Hat is a lot of big words, but basically it is a genetic Gene so it's in your genes that you don't let but does it say it tastes like soap yeah, it tastes like soap well well well misthing son of a bitch But you're 23 and me that's out of bounds that they put that in there

It's not like I chose it it sounds like oh and me, that's out of bounds that they put that in there. But that's what it says, it sounds like I chose it. It says like, oh and you buy the way this, this and that. So you say to the person at the counter, I need the rice without cilantro. They roll their eyes because they're pissed. I'm always nice, I always say, I'm like, I'm sorry, I hate cilantro, do you guys have the rice? And by the way,

it takes them less than three seconds to go scoop it from another place and give it to you. Nick, who gets kicked out for fighting someone It takes him less than three seconds to go scoop it from another place and give it to you. Nick, who gets kicked out for fighting someone in the front of the line. I was in the right in that situation. What happened? You're, you go to Chipotle, so you're gonna know. Yes.

There is a mobile order. Correct. If you are basically ordering enough Chipotle for an event or whatever that it's practically catering at that point, order it on the mobile order. Correct. This bastard. It is lunchtime rush in New York City.

I walk in. It is Corello De Vil code. It doesn't matter what I'm wearing. But I was in a fur. I walk in and I see two people in line at the lunchtime rush and I'm thinking, I just hit the fucking jackpot. And I'm standing there and I listened to this bastard order 50 burrito bowls. Not a real thing. That's not a real thing.

Five zero because it was a class field trip. So he ordered 50 bowls, and I got pissed. And the workers know who I am because I go there every day. And the line started building up behind me, and I got even more pissed. And I was huffing, and he wouldn't turn around because he could feel it. He could feel it. And I started getting everyone around. I go, can you fucking believe this?

And I started getting everyone riled up and riled up. And then right at the very end, he made the mistake and he turned around and he goes, huh, sorry, just takes a while. And I go, not if you ordered it on the fucking app like you should have. And he turned his ass background and they said. And the manager walked up and said,

miss, you're gonna have to leave. And this is Nick though, Nick, Nick is a- a will put your Chipotle outside go out back Nick is petrified We went to a haunted house the other week And he was screaming so loud and falling the ground that the actors broke character were laughing at him But Nick also in New York one time was crossing the street and this truck was trying to go and like Nick was walking in it He honked the horn and goes get out of the way faggot or I'll kill you and Nick slams his hands in the truck goes do it kill me do it I'm a jaded New York faggot I want to be dead so you today's your lucky day kill the faggot like you want and guess what he drove away, and I'm still here oh

My god, I would by the way I am the guy in line at Chipotle with you Huffin and puffin and loving the energy I would absolutely be the guy in line literally come on man. You got to do come on man Do you my mobile order for sure he's right and this guy would have been so see I would try to embarrass him out of Line see you're not in a giant You're not a six foot four woman Half black half white coat with giant glasses he walks in Sound like Squidward I was in the right absolutely in the right you were in the right

We all know it that's insane You don't do the 50 is absurd if it by the way same kind of thing at these other places like sweet green any of These like get in line order down the line thing any of that stuff if it's more than two cut it the fuck out I just completely agree if it's you and your your significant other or you and a buddy who's not that fine But when you get over to cut it the fuck out you got to order it because it's 50 bowls for kids for kids They're never gonna fucking eat them those kids those kids are never gonna eat them I'd be the kid that would go get a dollar slice pizza. They're lucky. They're in New York Jesus Christ I said a Nick once on our podcast ago? What would you do if you had kids?

What would you Dave you like wow I guess I get her up get her some Duncan Options they do have healthy options now. I do put her out in the yard Well, yeah, they have to be outside. It's gotta be in the yard. They need sunlight. I think you think it's a dog Will you take it for a walk? What would you name your kid again Blanche? Blanche is perfect, but they'd have you have to have all the golden girls if you continue to have children We'll get you a kid We got to get we'll get you a kid. I'm on your team by the way I I do think there's there's there are these little tiny rules that people kind of step over

I told you social norms city like of all the cities in the world like even LA. There's it's not as passable as New York City in Midtown. Yeah, you can't ask for 50 burritos No, it's just unacceptable fucking field trip to New York City where you don't live you're here And you chose chipotle.otle that you could have gotten down in any fucking little small, piggly wiggly town? Get fucked. If you're, I hope you're listening. I remember you.

All right, how about I wanna know your theory on, there's a new internet trend that says if I stand up when I order, if I'm standing at a counter to order food from you, I don't tip. How do you feel about this? Never not once. Okay, what do you feel? Meaning like if I'm walking. This is a big trend on the internet where a lot of these Well because it was a little too far after the pandemic they're like you should tip everyone okay fine we'll tip we'll tip even though we're all struggling we'll tip but if you go to a counter to order

right do you think you still have to tip at a counter ordered place he says Nick says no well here's the thing I went to Shake Shack. I was in Pittsburgh. No, where was I? I was not in Pittsburgh. Me and Amina were in, oh, it was Milwaukee. And you go to Shake Shack, and I work there. Yeah, you work there now. I walk in.

You do everything. I open up the screen. I select. I customize. I do this. I gather up, blah, blah, blah, this and that, da, da, da, da, da or no tip is how much do you want to tip right? I thought but I Me I did it. I just did it and then they have like 15 minutes left

They were open as they sweet could we sit down your guys closing and she was like We're closing in 15 minutes. You absolutely cannot sit down. I said okay. Can I take the tip back? Sorry? Yeah, I because I think it's like that signfold thing like if they have to see you tip They should acknowledge the thank you. But now they do this thing, it's like they kind of, you know, they turn it around, I don't know, there's too much tipping going on. The stand-up ordering thing is a weird thing for me

because it's like, I don't know why I'm tipping. I stood up to order and I take the- Well, what constitutes as tipping? Is it like sit-down service waiter? Yes, service, a service. A service, I agree. When you provide the service, then yes, I tip of course and I you and I always over tip I'm a sucker for over tipping, but then you're tipping everywhere like I want I tip at Michael's

Why but seriously though because then why don't steal it yeah? You want to get fired thief? Yeah? Well? You know what like how about how about if I go to? Which not anymore, but like it's just not a thing anymore But when you would you go to a department store you go to the mall or something and someone's like how do you want to? Try that on and we'll set it up for you in the changing room You don't have to tip that fucking person They're doing way more work than any other person is doing at those other jobs They've got to get your fucking shit refold it when you don't want it because you definitely didn't want I mean tipping should be

Optional if you want to tip that's great, but now that it's offered everywhere It is a little overwhelming because it's like I'm spending if I am running around I'm spending lots of extra money If you're and it's just a way for these CEOs to not have to pay them an actual living way That's really what it is So they're just running for them making more money and they go well responsible right but then we get the blame because we didn't write It right that you're the bad guy right well. You know what they do it. You know what they do I know you will you're the bad girl. He is you're a bad girl. I'm a bad girl. I want to have a shirt This is I'm a bad do. I know you will you're the bad girl party is there a bad girl? I'm a bad girl. I want to have sure this is I'm a bad girl. I want you

the stepmom from the parent trap Commented on one of our videos because in his dating app He's wearing a sun hat and look he made me delete it It was the worst photo ever goes why have I got no matches is because you look like you're about to send your stepchildren To to boarding school and then she commented she goes Being a single and having and son hats not a crime It was the greatest thing in the world she and you made him delete the photo anyway No, that's how many I got hold of photo zero

Phone you have to show you all the photos you want the fancy is this on the you're on like the Raya and the fancy One of them tinder. Okay. I can't get right because I don't have an iPhone I'm gonna show you. But all the photos were- Are you on the fancy, is this on the, you're on like the Raya and the fancy one? He's on Tinder. No, I can't get Raya because I don't have an iPhone. That's not a real thing. Don't look at me like that. Is that a real thing? Yeah. It's only for-

I mean, I'm not on dating apps for obvious reasons, but like when I was on dating apps- That's a fucking iPhone only app? Why would that exist? That's a great photo. Thank you. That's a great photo. And it's beautiful.

The sun kissed- Thank you. Blue sky, what's wrong with that photo shows? I'm outside. You look like you could like you look I don't know but you might yeah You look like you're in wit shows like I might like being in the Sun. I don't You have to send that to us so we can show the audience. It's a great photo In fact, we'll have the audience vote We'll put the photo have the audience vote if Nick should put it back on the dating profile.

Go ahead, Nick. You put it right back on there. Because I think it's a great photo. It's show it it's by the way. What do you see the most photos of on the dating app? What's like the typical photo that you see? What's a thing? Shirtless photos? What's the thing you hear them? I remember when I was on a dating app. The shirtless photo thing. That's all it is. Well, that's all. No, no, that's not true because I hear on he tells me that no, no, no There's dudes that do like fishing or like at a sporting thing and they've all off shit Yeah, you're not on the apps are you well? I don't see men on the apps You're such a fucking closed-minded person. It makes me sick. Yeah, it's really it's no

It's not be homophobic. This is a safe. This is you say that it's like I don't we'll talk after the show That's the kind of stuff. You're fucking. like, we'll talk after the show. That's the kind of stuff that drives me fucking nuts. Yeah, we do. He's right there. You're right there with that Chipotle guy. You are this close. You piece of shit.

I perked up a little on that one. Wait, I need to know this, because I'm out of the game. I don't know about that. You can only have Raya on an iPhone. On an iPhone. And then, are all the dating apps significant to each phone? Like does Android have its own app?

No. It should. It should. Fight back. Yeah, fight back. I don't know why that's not a... Why wouldn't it? But then don't you say that people only ask you about the Olive Garden on Grindr?

Well, so that's the other problem. It's gotten to the point where like on hookup apps or dating apps, people at this point, they just message me about him or our podcast or they just yell Olive Garden at me It's not like I'm getting matches or lucky from it. Anyways That's like our friend peppermint She was doing so me my friend peppermint and Bob the drag queen were in this video that keeps going viral every six months It just keeps popping back up and it's 30 seconds and it's we were we were raising money for black queer town halls We were playing video games on twitch, right? And so it was the height of...

What a world we're living in. I know. Raising money for black queer town halls on Twitch. And we're all in Houndstooth. It was anyways... Love a good Houndstooth. So we're all sitting there and at one point, Jacob, Bob's partner and producer, he's like, Okay, so the next game is gonna be called Fall Guys.

And you're these cute little blob people and Bob goes did you just say cute little black people and they're laughing goes No blob people and you race against a pepper goes race and Will never it just coming back up and up again and now pepper says she walks around the city people just yell at her race She walks around the city people just yell at her race People yell Olive Garden at you I was in Rockefeller Center looking at the Christmas tree with my mother and someone goes Olive Garden Do what do you say does your mother know is she aware of it she she knows this she so she gets it your mom Impressed by this like you get recognized. Yes

Well, yeah his mom's like you get recognized as Zuri? Yeah, spoken to her. Well, yeah, his mom's... His mom's secret. Does she like this stuff at all? Does she think it's fun or not? Oh, man. She thinks it's great that I'm doing it,

but she's not easily impressed. Let's just say that. She's someone who worked... The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Oh, got it, right, okay. She's a fancy lady. In here, we pour whiskey. Hey, I'm here to tell you about ShipStation.

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the town of 400 people I would assume yeah Did she keep the fire going is she is she did she work in academia? No, okay, nothing like that. What did she do? What is a she handled like the insurance for a dental office? Oh, wow, okay, so we got free dental Did you really smile? It looks good. Thank you You also have very nice teeth I had shitty teeth I still have shitty teeth I had braces Well, they're all chipped and jagged that look they're all they're all just years of chippy jagged

But they're white, but you know what it is, thank you. I just, my biggest thing, I have had friends that get the veneers and all that stuff. And I know here's my problem. Too nice a teeth is a big turnoff for me because it's not who you are. I like a fucking weird mouth. And then you talk differently.

Yeah, you do talk differently. Yeah, I sure love that. It's a little bit of Evan. You could eat an apple through a picket fence. It gets. I love that phrase. I just don don't I have a few friends that have done it and some people it looks nice But to perfectly you can tell you can always tell you can always tell and I've had a lot of work done You can tell though, but to perfect feels weird Something about weird mouth like even when I was young too

I was always attracted to girls who had like not jewel just not perfect teeth. Oh jewel mega. Oh my god such a big I like to jagged mouth when I was a kid. I liked a girl with kind of a gap tooth Yeah, but then once you were getting your dick sucked. I like no more jacket It's enough shave those things down here. What's your what's the thing that you're attracted to that's a little off like that? Well, I remember my friend John being like I love a fat neck I mean, I'm pretty boring. I love big muscular thighs and big butts Yeah, that's not that's not I don't think that's like an unusual characteristic that you find attractive I'm sure Nick you got anything that you find unusually attractive Nick is a whore

I was I have a wide spectrum of who I would it's a nice way of saying it you're all over the place Yeah, if someone said I like bigger noses you do like a big. I do I don't like this sort of like You know like a perfect little Mayflower nose. No. Yeah, you like, it's gotta have some mixing in there. Yeah, it's gotta have some mixing. Yeah, this can't be a straight recipe. Yeah, it's gotta be a little juice.

Right, it has to be infused. That's right, yeah. It's an infusion. Yeah, I like bigger noses. You're the spectrum is wide, it doesn't really matter. Spectrum is wide, but I guess something specific that's weird is when a guy has chest hair, but it's only right here.

Just on the tits. Just on the tits. But nothing down here, no trail, no nothing. If he has it, fine, but this specifically, I'm like. That's in. I really. You have no hair, and this is birth. You've never had chest hair.

No. Wow. I also, my body's dying on the inside. I don't think I could even produce chest hair and this is birth. This is birth. You've never had chest hair. No Wow, I also my body's dying on the inside It's going down quick the ship is seen but you're in great shape. So what is this? This is all the shape You're not in good shape under no circumstances. Why not? Well, you're thin thin doesn't mean that healthy is smoking I didn't say healthy. I said great shape. This is a nice shape. Well, yeah, he's tall like a model, but then he... I can't even walk a flight of stairs. He can't.

When I got my hair transplants, he's the one who brought me back home. I was his emergency contact. Could you imagine? I said he was the only one in the lobby with a purse. They knew who it was. And I ate all the snacks. I got there and they go,

okay, well, here are the snacks and bottled water. He's gonna need these. I ate them in the lobby and they go, okay, well, cure the snacks and bottled water. He's gonna need these. I ate them in the lobby and they go, no, no, no, sir, no, those are for him. And I said, well, what was for me? Because I'm sitting here waiting for this. Right, and they're doing way more work.

They have me wrapped up and so we go, and this is when I just, I live in a new place now, but this is when I was living in my sixth floor walk up. And even high as a kite and swollen, I ran up those stairs stairs Nick by the third floor He was like you're on your own kid. I couldn't do it also. We got in the uber and I just go brain transplant I saw the photo of us together. I'm like fucked up and Mad me was the worst emergency contact ever no. It's actually the. Cause he's there for you. Exactly.

No love whatsoever. I'll be there for you. You didn't need love. You didn't need love. I'll be there for you too. Wait, but I'm gonna get back to this. This is interesting. There is a delineation between being healthier

and then good shape. Your shape is a good shape is what I mean. Yeah. If you just looked at me facade wise. Good shape. You'd be like, he probably eats well, he probably works out a little, he's in good shape, he probably could walk a flight of stairs and not be out of breath.

No, no, no, no. None of the above. Right. I'll probably have a heart attack on my way out of here. I just started eating vegetables this year. And by vegetables, he goes, well, I bought an air fryer, so I'm gonna start doing vegetables. He made Brussels sprouts once and he's like,

I'm a vegetable girl. Wow. I'm not saying I'm eating them every day. No, no, that's insane. Once a month. This sounds like someone that we grow, like this sounds like a Midwest meal, but you're- I'm from Pennsylvania.

Is Pennsylvania like, yeah, that's kind of- No, it's not, it's in the northeast. It from Pennsylvania. Is Pennsylvania like, yeah, that's kind of- No, it's not, it's the Northeast. It's a town of 700, though. Right, it's a small town. It's the same vibe. Right, like is your family in good shape or no? Fat.

They're all fat. Don't you say that to your parents? All the time. They're all fat, yeah. What do you say to your mom and dad? They're like, the doctor told them they had cholesterol, so you say, you're gonna fatten, you're fatten, you're gonna die.

Well, they have grandchildren, and they love their grandchildren, they're amazing grandparents, and I say all the time, they have grandchildren and they love their grandchildren, their amazing grandparents. And I say all the time, every day when I talk to them, I say, have you walked the track today? Have you eaten any vegetables? No, have you? And I go, well, I'm not the one that's gonna die

when my grandchild has graduated high school. You're not wrong, it's terrible. What's the response? They need tough love. Yeah, that's right. They just tell me to shut up. Shut up, yeah. Did you get tough love as a kid?

Did you receive love? Did they love you they did, you know, it's interesting every time you ask my mom Do you have siblings have a sister? Yeah, so I don't know if it was the same dynamic with you So my brother obviously not Nick. Well, no, hold on When my brother, who's older, my parents had to do everything for him. When he was applying to colleges, they helped him choose a college. They helped him do the application. When he was doing, like, anything they would have to do.

Oh, do you need new sneakers for whatever sport or whatever. Like, they'd have to hold his hand. For me, they barely knew what I was. I would just be home and I'd be like, oh, I have district choir next week, and they're like, what? Like, when were you, oh, I'm class president, and they're like, I didn't even know you were running.

Like, it's just like I just sort of did everything. And you're the baby? Yeah. Wow, that's usually the opposite. I know, because I'm the baby. Yeah, you're a little spoiled brat. I don't know, I was mixed with so many cousins. You don't know? You're a spoiled brat. No don't know. I was mixed with so many don't know you're spoiled

There was no I'm saying I was mixed with so many different cousins. There wasn't like I wasn't like the baby I was one of a hundred, but you do have a bae. I am I am a young baby energy. Yeah, yeah what I'm insecure Well, I have that too, but mine is also from the pain of like don't you love me? Yeah, who doesn't pay attention to me my parents were so quick to be like go. When I was like I'm gonna go to California they were like okay. Oh no when I told my mom I was leaving I had to call my mom and my aunt Cindy and my grandparents and my. Yeah. So when I when I told my mom that I was leaving she wept and that I was going to New York City even though she was happy for me and then I told my aunt Cindy that actually was harder for me to tell my aunt Cindy. Than your mom? Yeah. Why? I don't

know why. My mom, because my mom knew, I think she was like, this is what he has to do. But my aunt Cindy and I were like this. And it just was devastating. It still makes me sad. Because my uncle Mike picked up, he's like, hello. I'm like, hey, Uncle Mike.

I'm like, I'm moving to New York. And he's very like, OK, I met you. That's good. That's good. I'm glad. You belong in yeah sure that's uh good. That's good Yeah, you belong in New York, right? Yeah, there's a lot of gay shit there, too So that's fine. You'll do fine. What's up? My uncle Mike is when I was doing I was like 23 when I started doing stand-up and so one of them was at a gay bar and my whole family came my grandparents everyone and

And my uncle Mike went in the bathroom and came out and goes, my aunt Cindy goes, the bathrooms, they're clean. And my aunt Cindy goes, yeah, they're not having semen dripping off the wall. He's like, please, Cindy. What's up with all them holes in the style? So those holes so you could say hi to your friends? Hey, you know, I hope you and your friend, he's my boyfriend. I don't know what to say. It makes him uncomfortable. Yeah, but, but he was he was so supportive

But yeah when I told me and Cindy we both balled we were both balling on the phone You wouldn't move back though. We know no no you never go back. No, I mean you that's of course you would not go back I wouldn't move back, but we've also talked about like Would we ever neither of us could live here, New York is really the only I can't live in here Rome are the only places I could live you definitely you definitely have to stay in New York I this I could miss you function here. Well, it's funny You know, it's so funny though. The city is it's changed so dynamically now that If you were like who belongs in LA, but I really don't know like I'm comfortable

I'm fine here because it's slower and quieter. It's kind of nice Like I just don't care anymore about that, right? But you also have a very established career. So I'm right. It's different. I'm lucky but if I'm a young kid and I'm Moving this way it's to me would be very daunting. I don't because I don't know what the culture is for a young kid I mean, he's kind of my plug into the youth. He's 25 and and you're so young. Yeah, I know he's a child I'm 38. I met him when I'm 41 fuck you I met him when he was 23 and and I said to him it's weird because when I ask

Like what what is the culture of that? He's doing well cuz when I moved here when I was 23 and it was like are you in stand-up city? No, no, it was very different though cuz we were you know he's in our comedy sphere So he goes to a lot of these things and right but even that's different than doing But the bar scene the night club all that stuff is so different now like you spend most of your time at house parties Or at somebody's house or somebody's a pride. Yeah like yeah bar life is kind of weird out here I mean I prefer a Midwestern bar to an LA bar, but I'm so the East side. But so they're dive bars, we have them out here. They're up here in the Valley.

So you're going to house parties? Some, if I do, a lot of it is much more just hangs and drinking. And describe a house party that you go to, like what is it like? Just kind of just hanging and drinking and then just. But how many people? I was at one over the weekend and it was a small place, but there's probably like up

80 people It's crazy. I'd sooner kill my it's crazy. That's like high school days But that's what that's what's happening now in this culture now I was like they'll just cram into a one couch apartment and they just know about is so different Yeah, get out of my way. Yeah Party that's what this is now or they all live or there'll be seven of them living in a they'll rent the house you know so it's rent it's it's it's a musical rent and it's all rent and they'll all cram into this house now have they trash these fucking

it feels like a college town when you see these houses that's kind of what that's what that is now yeah I couldn't I don't know la no concept of that either cuz when I I Basically moved to New York when I was 18 19 Wow yeah, and I never really partied as a kid never drink drugs drink in my life Never once I've had three shots in my life forced upon me at separate times, but I've never been drunk I've never had a full drink. I've sipped things to see. Zero desire, too.

It doesn't interest you at all. Could you imagine me drunk? No. I'm like this sober. Nightmare. Well, I'm like, I don't like drinking, so I have a drink once every three months. You like smoking pot still? No, I don't smoke pot.

I like cigarettes. Cigarettes, yeah. Oh, boy. He likes the fags. I wish I could smoke, I wish I could, I don't, but every once in a while I a while like please give me a cigarette I love them vaping is dangerous. I would love vaping. Yeah, I love it. That's why I can't get near that just suckling on it But cigarettes I do love I can't smoke them any have any mmm damn that'd be so fun

Okay, hey got you no no no no no no I put I had to buy I did a little I was I Talk about on stage, and I did a lot I was doing sneak smoking for a while where I didn't I hit it from even my friends. Oh, I just I had I did a little I was I I talked about on stage And I did a lot I was doing sneak smoking for a while where I didn't I hid it from even my friends Oh, I just I was sneak smoking. I didn't want anybody to know I didn't want my wife to know But I was also like cuz cuz I used to smoke and then I stopped and she and she did how much love smoke Well, it's the fucking greatest cuz I is the great. I take a walk by myself Phenomenal I know it's the rhythm of it. It's also the atmosphere. It just lends itself to it. Yeah, it's immediately social.

When I go to Rome, I go in Rome often. You smoke out there like crazy. Oh my God. That's one thing white women have given us is the, I don't smoke, but when I'm in Europe, I do. Cause like, it's fashion. You know how like white women will always smoke in Europe. So that's me.

I smoke in Europe. But are you buying packs here in the States or no? No, I would never buy a pack. You're always bumming, snagging always it's more fun to bump move can I have one oh? My friend pairs like yeah, why not? But that's the problem with the road for me is the road all those vices are so like I'm so boring on the road Well see that's the quickest time that I'll go eat a bad meal go drink smoke. No. I don't do any of that when I'm on the road I'm at a gym Gay no, but then the gym, but I yeah

Me and River River butch and I him and I went to the gym Yeah, we were in Cleveland or Cincinnati in my hotel at a gym, and we were like let's go and he's like I'm a liar. I do go to the gym work workout and go to the gym on the road. I do Unfortunately every time I'm on the road because it's my if I can do this then I'm allowed to go out and have a couple Of cocktails. I don't like cocktail. I mean, I love my if I'm gonna drink I want a spicy margarita with tahini on the rim and it just it's there's that Mexican coming out Just a little bit of tahini That's something that that's something that you get when you get to the city that I know

If you don't really dig into it, you don't get it, but you go to East LA you want some good Mexican food Mexican culture That's the thing that the city has that no one gives love to whether I was like It's how much of New York is nowhere near as good as it is no fucking way. It's terrible Italian food New York is way superior 100% Yeah, it is we've got a few good spots that are you know either old or their new chefs From New York that have opened up restaurants over I went to a place last night when Nicole and sashir and the waitress I thought she was Indian so then I heard her say one word, and then I flipped into Italian I go I put it in yano, and she's coming on chat though, and then we started speaking Italian

She's from Italy, so then I was like okay, and then I started asking her. What's the chef? How is the sauce gonna be? What's the pasta blah blah blah? And then so she told me what to get to have the best pop So I was like, okay LA you you better work you hate this, huh? He finds one Everywhere we go. I love it. I it turns me on I love it when he does I let him fly I sit there with a smile on my face and he's chirping up where to where where were we at last time we went to go in a ball. Yeah, we're both. That's right Now it was great Just at this point we got to find another well no he and he knows everybody in that Sure, we did he's your dad of Rbalta

He is he's really he runs the shit of the pasta queen on Instagram She looks like Sophia Vergara, but she's Italian and she's beautiful and she makes pasta the pasta Queen literally stunning And she's so much fun. Are you friends with this woman? Do you hang with her? so we we chatted once in a while on Instagram and then You got oh, I do know who this is, I've seen her before. So she's very famous in the world of pasta. 4.7 million fucking followers? We gotta get into pasta queening.

Yes. Yeah she's incredible, she's got her known as Apple Pasta. I have seen these. Yeah, so I went to my favorite Italian restaurant in New York, La Devozione, ciao Alessio, and it's the best pasta in New York. But Alessio texted me it goes come tonight There's a surprise okay, so I go bring my friend Sean Jamie, but did he say it in English? He also barely speaks Italian he speaks Napolitano, so even I'm like I'm not really sure

He just has to go slow, and you can catch some of it. I would say I understand like six You do you know most of it? The ice cream. Just the strawberry and vanilla. So then yeah, there was an empty seat next to me because they cook right in front of you. And then all of a sudden I heard, Mateo, and I turned around and was the pasta queen.

I was starstruck. I was like, oh my God. I was like, I love you so much. She was like, ah, you know, we were hanging out and- Do you guys do- now is it a proposal to do videos with her? I'm moderating some interview with her in New Jersey a couple months, but yeah, we want to do something together. Because you're still doing cook videos.

Yeah, I just released my cookbook. It comes out in April. It's called Your Pasta Sucks. I'm dead serious. That's what it's called. Who's putting this one out? Chronicles. Okay. Your Pasta S one out? Chronicles. Okay, your pasta sucks. Your pasta sucks. A cookbook with Mateo Lane. It's half recipes half just stories. I just tell stories. And who will be appearing in that book? Nick, there's a whole interview back and forth between me and Nick. Chef extraordinaire. What can you cook? Nothing. I don't cook. Absolutely nothing. No, you have to make something. No, I could cook. There's something. No you can't.

Absolutely nothing. No, you have to make something. No, I could cook. There's something. No, you can't. Absolutely not. You make your Christmas cum cookies every fucking year that suck, and you can't make anything else. But they taste good.

No, you can't. How much pepper did you put in your Kraft macaroni and cheese? It was one accident. It was rough. I could follow a recipe. No, you cannot. I find cooking stressful. It is.

And he makes these cum cookies. But I could, well cook I could make pasta No, you cannot he cannot you cannot make pasta Whatsoever we did a queen can barely fucking make pasta according to him We we made a video on our version of making red sauce right and so he went first now Prego prego, but he puts butter in it, too Does he use a jar? Prego! Prego. But he puts butter in it too. So he's got butter, prego, Kraft Parmesan cheese, and when I say a mountain of pepper, I mean so much pepper that everyone in the kitchen's like

Oh, it was awful. It was awful. It was really really bad. Can't be that bad. And then he's got his Christmas come cookies, which are supposed to be like Christmas like, um... First of all, they are based off of Italian wedding cookies, so if someone was really Italian, they would know. It looks like he just made some shit shortbread and just whizzed over every single one. But you like them, you say. And I won't eat it.

You said they were good. No, I didn't. He said they were good. I said they were good. He said they were good. Right, he knows they're good. They're good. I will never go there. They're also come cookies. He't eat it. You said they were good. No, I didn't. He said they were good. I said they were good. He said they were good. Right, he knows they're good. They're good. I will never go there.

There also come cookies, he would love it. Yeah, I was gonna say. Right up his alley. More frosting. No pun intended. So no cooking at all. It's never gonna happen for you. No, I do enjoy baking.

I got a KitchenAid mixer from my mom. Love a KitchenAid mixer. How often do you use it? I actually use it for my YouTube videos. I made homemade pizza. So far, that's. I made homemade pizza. That's three.

No, I made cum cookies, homemade pizza, chocolate chip cookies. Have you ever delivered some cum cookies to your parents? Have you brought those home? Your mom would be like, ow. I did, actually. You said, mom and dad got some cum cookies for you. Diane.

They would eat them. My mom has a sweet tooth, and she's a cum-dumb. She work at Pizza Hut? She's Sarah from Pizza Hut. She would love them. Other than that, no, cooking's too stressful. We tried to bake cookies one time together, not for a video, just literally out of the Christmas spirit.

Who is the Christmas spirit? We fucked those up. So, just chocolate chip cookies? No, sugar. Oh, sugar cookies. So we didn't realize there's two types of sugar cookie recipes. There's the roll-out ones. Right.

Or the ball. That are meant to stay flat. So when you make shapes, they keep the whole shape. I've done the roll, only the roll-out ones. And then there's the ball ones. Ah. Does that one sound fancier? The ones that are meant to expand.

Well, they're meant to expand. So we thought, we didn't realize that the sugar cookie recipe we got was the one that meant to be flat so we rolled them all up, and then they stayed they were a ball of sugar little And we kept pretending to like it was bad Have you ever had Swedish cocoa balls? No one of my favorite things no my wife's family doesn't see you're house We do yeah, yeah, have you ever had Swedish Coco balls at my house? No, I don't think so. Holy fuck, they're my favorite.

It's like, it's kind of like, it has a similar taste of like an oatmeal-flavored cookie with the oats, but it's rich, rich cocoa and then rolled in sugar crystals. Oh, that sounds good. And it's always got either brandy or whiskey or it's got a little little something It's just a little something does your wife cook a lot she? does

You know it's funny. We go through spurts of like hey Let's fucking make a bunch of shit at home, but then because of what we do. We're never home We're always on the road or always coming and going what's your meal you cook if you have to cook a meal What is it? It's boring. It's always boring. It's always just like meat and veg. It's always boring It's like a it's like a marinated barbecue chicken. I don't know how to grill. Okay, we're coming over We're watching the Chicago Cubs game you you're inviting us over and you're like love I'm gonna have I'm gonna make some some apps see I'll cut you off there if you're coming over We're watching a thing. My wife is can't wait to order something for everybody. Okay. Where are you ordering from?

she would probably get like a What do we do what do we do we did vert we did a first house we did like an array of different kind of Sausage was like a bratwurst Italian sausage hot dog like Italian sausage. Yeah, all that stuff. I saw Vienna beef We know something we have Vienna beef here. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, sorry I'm so excited. It's good Yeah, it would be like an order that would be like an order catering thing She'd want to a catering thing or we would get or we would get our favorite And I won't say it out loud because it's close, but it's our favorite Mexican food catered to the taco film Chipotle Thank you. He got it. How could you miss that? It's right there. It's right there lots of sour cream and lots of sour cream

well, I can't cook I can't like I can't cook anything of Value I cook meat and potato. I honestly I cook I don't have a great recipe that I make a thing I can't do that. I I cook I know where my strengths are like my sister has a garden bigger than this whole studio She makes everything homemade. In New York? No, she lives in Chicago. In Chicago, I was like, no fucking way. South suburb, so she's got a lot of space.

Down in Beverly? She's got pumpkins and zucchini and this and that. She really can cook. She makes homemade bread, homemade butter, homemade this. I mean, I'm really good with Italian food. Like the Italian, a lot of Roman and Naples cooking, I'm really, really good at. but I'm not good at anything. I hate you so much, Nick.

I'm doing nothing. I've never liked you. What are you talking about? I've literally never liked him. It's my fault, that was my fault. I would literally never do that. I don't think he's a good person. I've been nodding my head saying he can do that.

He can't. He's the one acting up. The internet's gonna say you guys are like the gay me and Bobby, but the irony is. You're internet's gonna say you guys are like the gay me and Bobby, but the irony is... You're the gay me and Bobby. We're the gay me and Bobby. You're the straight bad friends. It is incredible. Your relationship is perfect. Oh, it's an nightmare.

No, it's wonderful. Because the love is so obvious. It's not there. Not there. See? See that, though? When we play Smash Brothers is when you really see it's when we we when we first became friends We were playing Smash Brothers as a group. Yeah, all of our Bob Monet. How long ago was this? How long says you came in late to the group? So 2017?

Yeah. Yeah, so how long is that? I'm not gonna do that seven years. Yeah, I'm not gonna do I'm actually good at math Are you? eight times six 48 six times eight 48 God bless very good. What happened so smash brothers. Oh, we are playing smash and he Plays exactly how you think he would like what does that mean? Let him answer that question What is that supposed to mean like a little bit? How do you think I play?

Complaining whiny no defensive no like a bully you go nuts What does that mean? Let him answer that question. What is that supposed to mean? Like a little bitch. How do you think I play? Complaining, whining. No. Defensive. No, like a bully. You go nuts. So he chooses fat ass Jigglypuff. Jigglypuff! Floats his little ass up there while we're all fighting. So you can't be touched. Yeah. And then at the very end... Jigglypuff! Jigglypuff! Jigglypuff!

And then when I see someone weak, I go... Jigglypuff! And then they knock off and I get all the kills. It would piss me off. And this moment, which we talk about still in this- It's legal. We talk about this moment still, and it truly, I think, defined what was then to become of our friendship.

I was not actually pissed, but I was pissed. I was like- Annoyed, it was very annoying. I was so annoyed. Yeah, it's very annoying. That's this stupid fat fucking pink cunt floating in the fucking corner then just zooming in after I've done the work.

So I was going home. I was over, I was going home. And you know he can get very sensitive Yes, yeah, yeah. and very gullible. Yeah, well that one's even more so Yeah, and I without knowing me, you know, I'm gonna gaslight the shit out of that I'm fucking putting lighter fluid on it. Yeah, so I go I'm out of here and he starts and he goes

Are you actually mad at me? I'm actually I'm ignoring him. I'm not even I'm not even acknowledging him So I go around the room and I go Bob Bob, thank you so much for having me over. Jacob, it was so nice meeting you. Anyways, guys, everyone have a great day. Did not say goodbye to him, nothing. So then he kept going, no, Nick, you have to say goodbye to me. Nick, you have to say goodbye to me.

And I left without saying goodbye. And then I started a group text with everyone, including him, and said, listed everyone's name, and said, thank you all for such a wonderful night, and left his name out. But we get our revenge now. On Fortnite, Donnie and Cory and Gavin and Simmer

just are like, they're, you know, straight guys from Pittsburgh who play hockey. They're like, Nick, listen, this is Donnie. Nick, listen to me when I say this to you. You are the worst player I've ever played with. You are fucking awful, Nick. Well, don't hate the player, hate the game. I gaslight the shit out of them.

I love that. And then we occasionally, like one night, because on Fortnite you can do Phil, like have you ever played Fortnite? Uh-uh. So if you're doing like a squad and you don't have four people, you can play Phil and it gives you some random person.

And the one night we were giving someone random and one of them were like, well, go over and see if they're chatting. So they go over and check and they get back and they go, Nick, you have to get in here. He's talking shit about us. Well, of course I have to get in there. And it was this little kid pretending to like be streaming

and he's like, these guys suck. I could take them all chat kid pretending to be streaming. And he's like, these guys suck. I could take them all, chat. Listen to this chat. So I get on there and I was like, we suck. You keep fucking dying. And then at one point he says something like, I'm gonna roll out of here, I'm gonna roll out of here. And I said, you can't roll anything or whatever I said.

And he did what kids do that piss me off. And he goes, did you hear that chat? I feel uncomfortable this older guy is making me feel uncomfortable And you know, I don't give a shit I go you want to know what makes me uncomfortable a teammate that keeps fucking dying. How about you play the goddamn game? We have strategy in the game and Nick just in his heels and pencil skirt runs head into him. I snipe from a distance or they use me as a distraction. The distraction's smart. Put him out there. He is a good sniper for some reason. I am a good sniper. It's very strange. Like all of a sudden we'll be like we're fighting

and you just hear, cause when you hear their shield crack, you'll just hear like and he goes 110 headshot You're at your you're like when people choose When people you choose odd job in in double-o-seven you cannot play I always played as Natalia Oh you do mm-hmm. It's that's the cheat though the odd job is that I know She licensed to kill complex automatic power weapons. no odd job, those are my rules. I'll kill anyone. I'm so good at it.

Can I ask? Yeah. Where did the name Whiskey Ginger come from? You know, well, a whiskey and ginger, a traditional drink with whiskey and ginger ale. It's like an old- Oh, that is the name of a drink? Well, it's an old kind of traditional whiskey ginger.

Yeah, whiskey ginger. Oh, okay. Also the red hair. I am a ginger. And this show, typically, although not drinkers, we have a sip of a cocktail on the show. And it started as a show where I would talk to people about the first time they ever had a drink and people started to have old stories.

Well, it was 1934. There it is. And I was living at the Plaza. Ha ha ha ha. L'Iade de Poutine. L'Iade de Poutine. But that's where it came from. That was the beginnings of whiskey ginger And I was living at the plaza But that's where I came from that was the beginnings of whiskey ginger and this how old were you when you had your first drink I was I was 13. Yeah 13 Chicago yeah

Beer when you're like 9 or 10 at like a family function So it leaves one out and that's just a normal thing to do and then your uncle's like, hey, fuck it, he's drinking that beer. And it's like a whole thing. But yeah, the first- Also, we would have a little wine with dinner sometimes. Yeah, that was not a big deal. That was, booze was never like a, oh, no, not at all.

It was very, in the Midwest, it's like, and he's a Midwest kid too. Where you from? Minnesota. Minnesota, real alcoholics over there. You betcha. It's just kind of like a, it's such a customary thing that no you don't

It's not It's not like bad So I think it does this thing culturally where everyone kind of just drinks and no one says it look do people have drinking problems In these places big time big time big time big time, but I think it was just so who no one gave a shit I mean we when I was 14 13 14 I think that was the first time I got fucked up and then and then one of those I Don't you've never had this but like if you drink so much of something and you can smell the smell of it again We're at Crown Royal see everyone has one if you have one which are you know you're not honey Jack honey, Jack see

Honey flavor, but what's a what kind of whiskey whiskey whiskey mine mine was Captain Morgan's the fucking It's a rum it's a spiced rum. I don't I'm not a rum person No, no, no, no, but this was just because it was easy to get and it was cheap Yeah, I know to this day the the bottle if I see it somewhere by itself the smell of it makes me gag That's cuz you've gagged on it before I've thrown up Dressed and believe but But I do love margaritas. Yeah, because it's doused with lime and fucking juice. Yeah. All right. Let me say this

I love you. I love and I love you. This is a great. This is this is a great beautiful blossom in the future That's right Your your your book comes out then your special comes out. This is obviously much earlier than that, but it goes Book comes out in April April May the special comes out. Yes, but also see me on tour They can't stop talking. Please come see the kid on tour can't stop talking please come see the kid on tour can't stop talking here lane comedy dot com for the tail lane comedy dot com also please watch the podcast wherever you get it wherever you listen wherever you watch on YouTube but I mean also if you're a listener whatever whatever you ingest to keep this train moving we end the show the same way with one word or one phrase for

you to know it used to be a word people like I don know, they would say a phrase, a word of wisdom, whatever you've got, but do it into that camera right there, one at a time, whenever you're ready, one word to end the episode or a phrase. Pizzaz. Pizzaz. In here, we pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey. Oh, that creature in the ginger beard.

Sturdy and ginger. Like them hairs, the ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are beautiful. You owe me five dollars for the whiskey and seventy-five dollars for the horse. Gingers are hell no. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers.