Whiskey Ginger with Andrew Santino - Meghan Trainor

Episode Date: February 24, 2023

Andrew Santino sits down with the pop princess Meghan Trainor to talk about starting a family, her dad being hit by a car, her money makers, horse ladies, and so much more! #andrewsantino #meghantrainor #whiskeyginger #podcast COME SEE ME ON TOUR!!! https://www.andrewsantino.com ORDER SOME MERCH!!! https://www.andrewsantinostore.com ======================== SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS! BETTER HELP Get the help you need from a licensed professional 10% off your first month https://betterhelp.com/whiskey HELLO FRESH Get 21 FREE meals PLUS FREE SHIPPING https://hellofresh.com/whiskey65 ======================== Follow Andrew Santino: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ https://twitter.com/CheetoSantino Follow Whiskey Ginger: https://www.instagram.com/whiskeygingerpodcast/ https://twitter.com/whiskeyginger_ Produced and edited by Joe Faria IG: @itsjoefaria Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What up, Whiskey Ginger fans? Welcome back to the show. Your first time joining the show? Welcome to the show. Like it, subscribe it, tell someone about it. Leave a comment down below for the Al. Go rhythm. My guest today is Megan Trainor. Love Megan Trainor. She is so dope and so cool and you can't hear the internet without hearing Megan Trainor these days. She's putting out a bunch of bangers and I put out a banger on Netflix called Cheeseburger. Please go watch my special. Please tell a friend, spread spread the word and let people know that you're watching cheeseburger and enjoying a burger with me it would mean a lot to me i would appreciate it very much enough

rambling from the old ginge let's go to the episode in here we pour whisk Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Whiskey Ginger. My guest today is one of my favorite people on earth. I say that for all my guests, but I mean it once again today. It's the first time this person has been on this show. And let's hope it's not the last. It's Meghan Trainor, ladies and gentlemen. Clap, clap. Clap, clap, clap, clap.

And she brought her family with her for security purposes. Yeah. You don't leave home without them. No. Especially the husband who has red hair. For people that don't know, we'll put up a photo of him right here. A stunning gentleman. But he's a different version of Ginge.

Yes. The cool, extra cool kind. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You're cool, but he's the extra cool. Okay. Because he's a darker? What do you call it? Day walker.

Day walkers. Right. Because you're not really one of us. You're... He was his whole life. And then when he got older, it got darker. Oh, your hair did turn. So people, when they see our redhead boy, they're like, where's the redhead from?

And then he takes off his hat, and he's like, it's in there. It's also a recessive gene. It could come from almost anywhere. I was a redhead at like three. No. Then it went bleach blonde. I have pictures. I have pictures right here.

You were a little ginge? I was a gingy. Were you really? Mm-hmm. Parents? Mom and dad? It's like in my family because when my brothers grow a beard, it's red. Well, your brother has a soft beard.

He could be my brother more than he could be your brother. Yeah. Like him and I look a little bit alike, especially because the— But he's got an oval chin face. We always called him Crimson Chin because he's got that massive chin. Yeah, you're kind of the quagmire-ish. Yeah, every time Bobby Lee sees him, he's like, you're so handsome. He is a good-looking kid.

He's a good-looking kid. Are your parents good-looking people? Yeah. One's much older than the other. My dad is like 20 years older than my mom. Oh, yeah, it's one of these situations. She was 19 and he was 40. Yuck. What is going on? Yeah. the mama. Oh, yeah. It's one of these situations. She was 19 and he was 40. Yuck. Pew, pew, pew.

What is going on? Yeah. He was his third. 1940. It was his third wife and she was like, everyone says to stay away from you. Wait, how many siblings do you guys have then? No, luckily they're not. He never had kids before. No, they haven't come out yet from, you know. Yeah, they will. I found out I have one that's literally almost

my age. You're lying. My got divorced when before i was one uh my dad somebody cheated no my dad loved drugs in jail he was so good at it so he loved drugs in jail kept doing it i'm sorry and then a girl there's a girl who is i'm almost 40 and she's two years younger than me this is real this is a real person i happen to open i kind That happened to Oprah. I kind of want to meet her. I kind of want to meet her. You haven't met her? No, because we don't have any connective tissue. You know what I mean?

Like, we don't live anywhere near each other. We never knew each other. It's a girl, yeah. What if she looks like me? She does look like you. Well, she's poor. I think she's half Puerto Rican.

I thought you were going to say, well, she's poor. She's poor. I can't talk to poors. No, she's, I think she, no, I know she's Puerto Rican. Okay, half Puerto Rican. That's cool.

Half Puerto Rican, half Italian. My dad's Sicilian, so she probably looks very, she's I think she no I know she's Puerto Rican half Puerto Rican that's cool half Puerto Rican half Italian my dad's Sicilian so she probably looks very she's probably very pretty we probably don't look anything alike I look like Ireland even though I've got

the Italian she probably looks Puerto Rican and beautiful if you don't find her I will what if I'm attracted to her that's kind of scary

I was like yo do you think if you never like I leave my wife for my sister why is she beautiful when you were like's kind of scary. I was like, yo, do you think if you never, like, knew her and never met her, you're like, I leave my wife for my sister? Why is she beautiful? Why is she so stunning? When you were like, I bet she's beautiful.

I was like, ooh. No, I bet you she is very pretty. I thought about it. I was like, oh, she's a half Puerto Rican Italian girl. She's probably my dream girl. She's probably exactly what I've always wanted. Exactly what I've always wanted. Dude, how come I can't, how come I can't open up the internet without hearing you?

My thong. Why can't I open up the internet without hearing you? I song. Why can't I open up the internet without hearing you? I was like, open up the internet? Well, I'm my dad right now. What are you, 78? How come I can't click on Yahoo without hearing you? I was like, what are you saying? By the way, I do, I mean, heavy props because you're killing it.

Thank you. You're so talented. We met for the reference for the people that are like, how do these two parties meet each other? We met at Tim Dillon's house. Yes. We had an opportunity to meet at Whitney Cummings' house, but I refused to go to her home.

When? You did her show. One of her, yeah. Oh, yeah. Didn't you do her show? Yeah. You were invited that day? I was going to be on also that day.

No way. Yeah, and I think I bailed. I was pregnant as hell. Oh, you were think I bailed. I was pregnant as hell. Oh, you were? I was big. I didn't want to go over there because I just, you know, there's good days and bad days with Whitney. And when she has, when there's a horse problem, it's a bad day. A horse problem?

When she's got like, when she's in her horse mode and she's going to the horse thing all the time, I don't want to be anywhere near her. She's a horse lady. Do you know about horse ladies? You should Google it. Okay. She's a horse lady. She's got about horse ladies? You should Google it. Okay. She's a horse lady. She's got horses? You know how there's a cat lady?

You know what a cat lady is? Yeah. And you know how there's characteristics that go along with it? Oh. Well, she's a horse lady. Does she own a horse? She's got horses.

They're like millions of dollars. Dude, she made too much money off that fucking stupid show. She did two bro girls. That was her. Yeah, I know. She did good. And she's one rich girl from it.

Yeah, Winnie's a lot of energy. It's like, you know, certain people. Yeah. They're like, I know. She did good. And she's one rich girl from it. Yeah, Whitney's a lot of energy. It's like, you know, certain people. Yeah. You're like, I know what I'm walking into. I didn't know then. Now I know.

Now you know. And now you avoid. No, she's lovely. She's lovely. We love you, Whitney. I love her. She's seething over this. But when we met at the party

at Tim Dillon's house, immediately loved your energy, loved your husband, had a crush on your bro. Yeah. I come with a pack of like these tall dudes and I'm like, these are my brothers that live with me and this is my husband that also lives with me. Do you always go out with the boys?

Yeah. Always. I don't go anywhere without them. It's you and the boys. Yeah. And now you're going, you know, for the fans. What am I going to do? Go by myself?

Well, no, but I mean, women in our industry usually have their team with them. Like my managers? Well, you know, sometimes they'll have like an assistant and also a stylist. And also like there's enough women I've met in the business that always have like four or five crew that are hired crew, not family. We notice that we're different and people are like, please do a reality show. And we're like, no. Why not, though? Because my mother, like, refuses to be on camera, and my father—

Your 19-year-old mom with your 40-year-old dad? Yeah, and my old father says questionable things, and we're like, we can't film this, you know? Oh, he's—oh, right. Yes. He's like, the black that delivers the package. You're like, Dad, please don't do that. So I'm like, you know. He does, the Amazon black boy that comes.

You're like, stop it. We had to, like, teach him the woke things, and Amazon black boy that comes. You're like, stop it. You have to teach him the woke things. And he's like, what? You know? When you teach your dad woke stuff, how old is your dad now? He's what? 74.

Oh, my gosh. Yeah, he's got white hair, hunchback, you know. He's hunchback. Yeah, but he like will never quit. Like he always does projects around the house. He's great. He got hit by a car. He won't die either. Your father got hit by a vehicle.

Wow. While we were working in London. We were all in London working. What kind of car hit him? A big boy. A big boy. A big car. And he took the hit by a vehicle. Wow. While we were working in London. We were all in London working. What kind of car hit him? A big boy. A big car. And he like flew over it. What?

Because he's from, we're from Nantucket Island where you don't like lock your doors or lock your house. Right. And you can like walk at night and it's safe-ish. And here, so it's 9 p.m. and he's walking with a black leather jacket down the street. Where? In L.A. A crosswalk.

It was a crosswalk. Ew. But this girl was whipping it and she turned a corner and smacked him. And crushed your father. He flew over the car. He didn't even, he broke his back. And, like, he had a long, he didn't even suffer. He was tough.

Nothing happened to him. He shattered his back. We noticed, too, he slammed his head. When we saw him in the hospital, his head was bleeding, and I was like, he's dying. But we noticed, like, memory things are tough now. See, that's what's scary. But that also could just be his age. Yeah, I don't know.

I mean, 74, he starts to— No, weird shit like this. I got fish in COVID, like everyone did. They died, you know, because I don't know how to hear them. Right. And he's the one that found them, and he's like, oh, your fish died. And then the very next day, he's like, where's the fish? Oh, Dad.

I was like, ooh, that's not good. But you keep tricking them. You just get new fish. He'll never know the difference. Yeah. Yeah, we just go, they're fine, Dad. New ones, yeah. I learned my dad's friend, this is very, we're on dad's friends and fish for some reason.

My dad's buddy was like, I went over to their house because I had got my mom a car for Christmas. So I stored the old, the new car at his house. And it was the biggest thing I've ever done for them. And we went over there and he has a koi pond. And there's a net over it because he didn't want animals to try to take the koi out. And I was like, do you have to do anything with koi in the winter? Because in Chicago, it's like negative 12. Yeah, they freeze.

And he's like, no, no, no. They will settle and be in almost like a comatose state. Yeah. And they can live like that until it warms up enough and then they kind of reanimate. And I was like, that is the creepiest shit on earth. Same with totals. He's like, they will just sit and kind of be frozen in time

until they need to come back. Isn't that dope? It's like they hibernate. Why don't we do that? That's why you brought up that story? But hibernation is sleep. That's not like frozen. No, they reanimate.

They literally are dead in a current state. I saw this girl whip out her tortoise she had and put him in the freezer for all winter. And then she's like, okay, it's time to bring him out. And he like slowly comes to life. Wait, do you think maybe that was to eat him though? No. That was her favorite pet. They were like, freeze him and then eat him, baby.

Frozen turtle is good. Have you guys never had turtle? No. We haven't. Turtle is quite good. Mike, bring in the turtle. No. I'm pregnant.

What? I'm pregnant. Are you really? I'm four months pregnant. Look at his gut. You son of a bitch. What did you do? Now, how does it happen?

Insert. He's excited. So you buy a baby and you just put it up in there? No. That's not how it works? We were banging like bunnies when we were in Australia. You guys were slamming, baby. We were slamming.

I was like, I'm ovulating. It's now or never, you know? Did you want another kid? Yeah, I want four. Yeah, you said that at the party. You want four children. I was pregnant at that party. Oh, you were? Uh- want another kid? Yeah, I want four. Yeah, you said that at the party. You want four children. I was pregnant at that party. Why four?

Oh, you were? Uh-huh. Why four? What's the number? Because I'm one of three, and I felt, I was the only girl, and I'm the middle child.

I felt very ganged up on. You know, I felt very two against one a lot. And if it wasn't them against me, it was me and Ryan against our younger brother, you know? And I was like,

maybe if there's four of them, you can have teams. Oh, yeah. Two on two, baby. And there was also like when we go on, if we went to Disney or if we went to a place that's like, okay, there's going to be awkward group numbers, you know, now it could be two to twos. Got it.

I'm thinking of the family trips. Do you want four? You don't have a choice. Daddy Daryl doesn't have a choice. She's just going to pull on it until she gets what she needs. So four kids is the number. That's the ultimate number for you because six is a good – I'm halfway there.

You are. Are you hoping for a girl? I know what it is now. Oh, you are? You guys already know. You did that, Jazz. We did all – you can do it at 10 weeks. Aren't you trying to make a baby?

A little bit. Yeah, we are. But for some reason, anal, it's just that we haven't been able to – It doesn't connect. It just doesn't go all the way through. I thought there's a tube that goes all the way through, but for some reason anal, it's just that we haven't been able to every time. It doesn't connect. It just doesn't go all the way through. I thought there's a tube that goes all the way through, but it does not. Yeah, we are. We're going for it. We're trying. But also, we're older,

so it's a little bit harder. Yeah. That's why I'm also trying to pump them out now. Because you want to do it before you get to me. Those eggs are still good, and his swimmers are still tight, dude. You got some Felpies down there. Some Felp swimmers. Well, you know, you don't have to say

what it is, but man, do I want to know. And you're going to name it Santina. I have a name. Oh, you already have a name? Mm-hmm.

You don't have to say it, but you should. Yeah, we're announcing it on the Today Show. Are you really? Tomorrow morning at like five in the morning. And because I have

a book coming out. Check out my book. It's called Dear Future Mama because I have a book coming out. Check out my book. It's called Dear Future Mama because I have a song Dear Future Husband. Yeah. And it's for like pregnant girls. I felt very alone in my pregnancy.

None of my friends are pregnant. So it's like I'll be your bestie during this experience and like I hope you don't feel alone. And here's all my weird, scary, spooky, awesome details. You felt alone even with him being such a good partner.

Yeah, well, no one could, truly feel what I was feeling. Because you're growing a person. Yeah, you know? So they're like, oh, my God, what's it like? And I was like, oof. And I would ask my mom, like, is this normal? And she's like, I don't remember. That was, like, 25 years ago.

Right, she was 12 when she had you. She has no idea. No idea. Was he extremely supportive during the first one? Massaged my feet every night, made my breakfast every morning. What did he do that pissed you off during the first pregnancy that you know now to check him on during the second one? I can't even— He made no mistakes.

You made no mistakes? No, he's like—he needs to do a master class on how to be the best partner. He's in the book. Why don't you write a fucking book? He's in the book. He has his own chapter. Yeah, but he writes his own book now. You do how to deal with pregnant women.

I mean, I'm pretty— Manspl mansplaining yeah i'm obnoxious but are you bad are you really bad are you one of these pregnant um people that just gets very like uppity and mad and snappy don't be nice to me tell me the truth ryan oh you know what i have rage in the early parts of pregnancy i had rage with my brothers like you just freak out for no reason we were doing like a work project and like it was like a brand thing and I was like we gotta get it done like this and Ryan's like you're okay. Calm down. And I was like and at the end of the

day I'm like sorry it's my hormones. They're going nuts. I apologize. Balance. Balance. Get your chi aligned. So you're announcing on the Today Show the gender and the name? No. God that would be nuts. We're just, I'm going to have Hoda

hold the book up and I'm going to say, Hoda, open the book. There's a surprise and my ultrasound's going to fall out. What if she doesn't know what it is?

She has no idea. We have a thing because I announced my first pregnancy with her too. So now it's like a, yeah. It's like our thing now.

That's cute. Because when I was young going on the Today Show performing, I would see her and I was like, I'm going to make babies and you're going to watch me make babies.

And it's going to be amazing. So that was like our little connection. Do you think she, is she still like that with you? Like are you tight? Yeah, she loves my right-hand boy. You text the hood? I text the hood. She's the best.

That is a cool connection. Like of all the Hollywood people, it is kind of, it's fun to have cool ones. Oh, yeah. Who's the, who is the, who's like your, if you could, if you had to pull a card and who's like the coolest connect in your phone? Hilary Duff. The Duffster. Mm-hmm. How I Met Your Father.

Mm-hmm. I'm on that. I'm on that. Are you really? I'm on that show on the second episode or something on this new season. Wow. And I'm pregnant as hell. I have a fake belly.

And I'm- And sure enough, you're pregnant. Am I allowed to say this? Yeah. And I'm giving a home birth in a tub, which. And I'm... And sure enough, you're pregnant. Am I allowed to say this? Yeah. And I'm giving a home birth in a tub, which I've never done because I was a C-section gal. What about this one? Is this one going to be in a tub? I'm supposed to choose...

I get to choose now. Like, do I want a C-section because I've already done that or push it out? And I'm like, C-section, right? Like, we've already done it. It's a quick seven minutes. It comes out. And they just cut the same old cut. And Ryan, my brother, is like, push it out, bitch. Like, push it out And they just cut the same old cut And Ryan my brother is like

Push it out bitch Like push it out So you can write another book It says the guy who doesn't have to do it I was like You know me bro I'm weak on pain You don't have to be there

You don't have to experience it The pain is also miserable With a C-section But like I don't want 10 days Or like 12 hours of Or like 20 hours of that I'm just

I'm such a bitch with pain No but honestly Do whatever works for you. They just reopened the old cut. It was like, you have a target. Like, get at it. Right. Imagine missing it.

Imagine. Imagine how dumb that person would be. It's like, have you ever had something, like, look at this. My girl's the top, top dog, though. I've had somebody miss a vein. Look at my arms. Yeah, all the time. Miss a vein.

Yeah. But this, pull it right back out. Pull it, it's easy. And your son probably left a couple of notes in there on the way out A couple of tips for the next baby to come through Yeah You know, tilt the head My baby, he was breached

Like, Riley was like, his head was on this side and his legs were over here Is that dangerous? Yeah, I mean, they were like, he's a jackknife Like, his butt's down there And I had some LA people be like, you need to push him out And I was like, but we'll both die. Like, no. Nah.

I'll just get a C-section. Just dig him out. You know? And you're going to, I say dig out this one. Right? I think you're wrong, dude. I think you're wrong. Yeah, dig it out.

Dig it out. And then also, doesn't C-section help it so there's less complications during birth, right? Like. My other issue is that like, mama stop watching here my hole's so small and i thought if i push it out it would help expand that no because i don't have a lot of i don't have any sex while i'm pregnant i'm not into it you're not at all no so my first pregnancy does he want it he does yeah he does he's a good boy we do other stuff for him but like yeah you Yeah. You get what you need, scumbag. You get what you need, boy.

But he, the first pregnancy, I couldn't do it, so then I was like. They say some people get super horny when they get pregnant. I've had my friends tell me that. I'm like, does anyone else like, I feel like he's going to stab it. Well, he will. He'll hit it. Big boy. Yeah, especially because of what we just saw.

I retweeted that video of you talking. You put it on your page, my dog. Got to put it up. Got to put it on your page, my dog. Gotta put it up. Gotta put it up for the kids to know. Well, you were promoting the girth of redheaded men. Right. And finally someone is standing up for the ginger nation. Because for years.

Is it true? Yeah, it's not not true. I'll tell you what. Actually, you know what's funny is like I didn't even think about this at all during my taping of my special. But I had a lot of men comment about my pants and my package on the special. Because I was wearing – because in jeans – The cheeseburger one? Yeah, because in jeans you don't think about it.

But I'm wearing slacks. But I didn't really think about it until somebody commented. And there's side angles where slacks kind of make your bulge bigger. Jeans don't do that. But then there's side angles where I'm like, oh, my God, it looks so – I never thought about it. Now it's all I can see if I see a clip. I'm staring.

I mean, just be proud. Post it. Yeah, but it's also weird because now – You're like, wow, what negative must be true. Yeah, no, I can't stop thinking about it. Now I'm like – Sometimes I have to be like, yo, you need underwear with these pants. Do you not wear underwear sometimes?

Sometimes. Yeah. See, I do. Yeah. I'm the same way, but I know that. Go change, you know. Why let him dangle? I live with my whole family.

My mother's over all day long. I know. I can draw it. Like I can see everything. Yeah. But who cares? It's his house, right? If your mom comes to your house, it's your house.

You can do whatever you want. You can be naked in your own home. If your mom shows up, it's her problem. That's the only thing. This poor baby boy loves sleeping naked. So do I. And if I leave something downstairs, I'm like, I need you to get it. He has to put on a full outfit.

And I'm like, I'm sorry, man. But does your mom live with you guys? No, but my brothers do. So if he walked out naked, my younger brother would be cooking popcorn or something. And he'd be like, you know. What's the moment when they won't live with you? Will that ever be? No.

They'll live with you for the rest of your lives. Yeah. Well, so this is it. Ryan's finally succumbed to like being okay with that. My younger brother wants to like have his own life someday. Ryan has a great life at my house, correct? Right. Correct.

This new compound. This new compound is ideal. You got to come see it. By the way, the way you said that too, you were like, you have a great life, don't you? Never. Yeah. you? Never leave. No, if we ever got, we never fight really, but if we do, he's like, when he was drunk, he'd be like, I'm fucking leaving. And I was like, good luck, buddy.

Get out. I was like, get out. Don't leave me. See you at Hollywood and Highland begging on the side of the street, busking. That's literally what I said, and he was like, I'll never forgive you for that, you know? Did you ever busk? Did you ever do that? Yeah, when I was really young. My dad was like, go out there with a bucket and sing.

Really? Where was this, in Massachusetts? Yeah, Nantucket, like where the cobblestones are. So excuse my extreme ignorance. Nantucket is a, like, ethereal, beautiful place. Some people think so. Isn't it, like, one of these places that's like, I'm not wrong. It's old school. You can't, there's many it like one of these places that's like, I'm not wrong. Yes, it's old school.

You can't, there's many of rules where you can't have like modern looking homes and you can't paint your house and you can't have. Right, this is what I'm saying. This is like one of these Americana, old school kind of idyllic when people think about. We got like a whaling museum.

Right, right. It's extremely safe. There's no crime. Not much, not what you hear. Nothing bad. Bad things don't happen. And it's also like if you get arrested

it's like, oh, Cousin Johnny. You knew everybody. Yeah, the pharmacist is my best friend's dad so I was like, oh my God, I need a tampon.

So you can get pills whenever you needed it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You went that way, I went this way. I think about the drugs. You're thinking about covering up for something embarrassing.

It's like, me period. Your dad can get Xanax? So in a small town though, were you... covering up for something embarrassing. It's like, me period. Your dad can get Xanax? Did you, so in a small town though, were you, were you the only one that got out and did something?

Yeah, it's like really tough to leave there. Yeah, people don't leave. A lot of people stay and. Are there any other famous people from Nantucket? Well,

you're not, you're from Nantucket proper. There's a comedy writer. Who's that comedy writer? Gotta be someone on Family Guy. Right, writer for Simpsons. Not Family Guy. I said Seth Macucket proper. There's a comedy writer. Who's that comedy writer? Gotta be someone on Family Guy. You would know him. Writer for Simpsons. Not Family Guy.

I said Seth MacFarlane because he's a Massachusetts guy, right? Not him. No. Oh, mom's going to kill us. We went to his house. Oh, that's nice. He's friends with Tim. Your favorite comedian guy?

Tim Heidecker. Mm-hmm. In here, we pour whiskey. This episode of Whiskey Ginger is sponsored by BetterHelp. I've spoken a lot on this show about getting help and talking to someone about your issues and problems. I am a big proponent of this, and I've spoken about it for years. I don't like traditional therapy. I don't like driving somewhere and going to an uncomfortable room that's very well lit to speak to somebody.

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Ginger. I like gingers. Alright, well, we don't know. He's the only other guy. Donna, Donna, Donna. Donna, Donna, Donna. There's a couple of us, yeah. But when you go back, Do you ever go back?

You never go back I went back once Don't they have a Meghan Trainor day there? I hope It could've But when I went back Like the first year of being famous It was

People would show up It's Christmas Eve And I'm eating potato chips on my couch Picture this And I'm just trying to relax I'm seeing it now I'm like Eat my chips

And these people walk in my home and they're like i'm friends with your friend's aunt oh yeah and they're like and this is my 13 year old my friend's kid and she made this ornament for your tree and i was like well let me hang it up on the tree and then they left and i'm sobbing and i was like i gotta get the fuck out of here you gotta get out of there i can't do this but nobody's there family-wise they're all here now. I dragged their asses out, yeah. I have like one auntie left there

and anybody else? No, that's it. The whole fam came. Yeah. I bought my parents a house and was like, you're here now. And then my uncle came out

and now he does my landscaping. And then he married an amazing woman who can cook really well and now she's my chef. Oh my God. The whole family. You keep it in the yeah keep it in the

fam the dollar never leaves the trainer family none are that's wild did you ever think about i thought about that because of uh your name is such a um what a catchy name what an annoyingly catchy name yeah there he is and i thought about like i thought about people that take names but they keep their stage name or keep their you know their name you never were gonna take his name oh no do you want to take our kid is riley train you almost took her name yeah we thought kind of tight that's progressive right i always thought about that because when when i got married it was like we never even thought it's so weird we never discussed it and then like the week we were getting married she was like do you want me to take your name and i was like i don't give a shit if you i do yeah we didn't even it was so weird that we never talked we talked about everything

else but that and then i was like i don't care i mean i guess if you want to i mean her last name was terrible right i was like i like my last name better than his right you do but you just gotta pick the one that's cooler. Yeah, the cooler one. Or. And our kid has my name. I propose when two people get together, new last name. Whoa. You get to pick a new last name.

Why not? It's too stressful. Because the old name, it's fine. But then it's like, you ever want to go to your family history? Like, how am I going to track that? Fuck that. I don't want to see that shit. Okay, yeah.

You look back at any of that. Most of that stuff's gross anyway. Yeah. Like, I know where I come from. Trash people. Really. I don't want to see that shit. Okay, yeah. You look back at any of that, most of that stuff's gross anyway. Yeah. Like, I know where I come from. Trash people. Really? I don't need to go that far back. Wow.

Well, I'm half Irish, half Sicilian. Like, both histories, very poor, very, like, you know. I didn't have any, like, there's never going to be a nobleman in my blood. You know what I mean? I come from just trash farmer, scallywag, boat people. There's not going to be anything like, oh my God, you know your great uncle was a blah, blah, blah. I'm never going to get that, so I don't want to do it. Also, I'm not going to send my blood away.

I don't want to do the 23andMe. I'm afraid of finding out too. I did it and we thought we were always like Scottish and Polish and I was full British. Oh, you are? Like we are British. You're British. Oh, you are? 100%. Like we are British. You're British. Like 80%.

Yeah, he does have a British face. That's why his teeth were so fucked up. You look more British. Oh, so mean. But now they're good. Look, he had like eight years of braces. Let me see. Check it out.

Yeah, pretty nice. Yeah, pretty nice teeth now. You had braces? I got veneers, motherfucker. Oh, those are fakies? I'm thinking about it. Best decision of my life. No.

Best decision of my life. Really? Do it. Do it. They shave your tooth, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Buy old teeth. Fuck them.

Fuck old teeth. They were gross. I see pictures and I'm like, bro, I'm so hot now. That's true. It's true. It worked. I like fucked up teeth though.

I have a thing with fucked up teeth. Teeth change your whole life. No, I like them. My career? Look at my career. After your teeth is when you blew up. Think about it. Pre-teeth, you were good.

They were like, meh. Post-teeth is like, post-teeth. Megan! She's popping. Wow, okay blew up. Think about it. Pre-teeth, you were good. They were like, meh. Post-teeth is like, Megan! Wow, okay, I got to go get it. What song in your catalog did great but you hate? All About a Moon. Come on. All About a Moon? You hate it.

No, I never liked it is the problem. Right. Out of all my songs I was writing like pop songs the problem is as a songwriter I was writing all these

different genres so the doo-wop thing is fun and it was like on the side and when they were like we like that song I was like

but it's not even like autotuned and cleaned it's very messy like it's not even produced out and they were like no we mastered the demo like it was a demo

what? yeah it was like an idea and that's what's out yeah that's what. What? Yeah, it was like an idea. And that's what's out? Yeah, that's what's on the radio. And I was like, oh, man, okay. But isn't that kind of fascinating?

I was like, this is the song. Even my parents were like, this is the song? Have they heard the other ones? And I was like, they like the bass one. I don't know. So funny how that works sometimes. Yeah, I just held on tight. I was like, sure, whatever it takes to sign me as an artist.

That's crazy. Right. And then I held on for dear life and was like what's happening but then you can start making so much other shit that you love so it doesn't really matter but you're gonna sometimes every artist i've ever talked to whether it's you know a stand-up or a musician or i mean like every per every version of an artist a live performer that does make their own product we all have a couple of things where you're like oh they like it i don't really like it and it's always so fascinating that you're like i don't know why they like it as much as i don't understand why they like it yeah i just can't connect sometimes you can't connect it yeah but people do i don't know something clicks with people i get like there's a great concept and

it helped a lot of people i saw like in my meet and greets parents would be like my kid didn't go to school because they were so depressed and they hated their lives until your three minute song came on and now they're like happy doesn't that feel good though yeah oh my god i was like oh i have a superpower i have to continue this and write all my songs for them you know right for that kid specifically that one kid you're like jonas this is for you there's so many of them yeah and then every time they don't have to like listen like i have to perform it every time i sing a concert or do every time every time it's either the opening

or the ending that's like you're don't stop believing for journey in rehearsal i'm like oh my fucking god like okay it's pretty clear you know but then when i get on stage and i see how happy it makes everyone and how they know every word i'm like oh yeah this is why we're all here this is like see this is my baby my firstborn. That's nice that you get like That's levity to it when someone does that when you're like, oh this fucking bullshit Because there's a lot of times in gigs, you know We talked to the party a little bit where you have to do gigs sometimes you're like I don't want to do this at all Yeah, we talked about it

But when you feel it sometimes when it's you're in it you know, they laugh at you are you like? Fine. Yeah, fine. Yeah, it's nice. It's nice. Well, but my gigs that like our gigs or corporate gigs that we do sometimes are so much more torturous. Yeah, same. Because they're just.

Suits. A lot of times it's extremely, extremely rich people who think they can buy you and they kind of can. And then you're like. And we let them. And you're like, fine, I'll do this gig for this thing. And then you kind of had this attitude like, I don't want to fucking be here. And they're like, I can have whatever I want.

So neither of you are enjoying it. It just feels like they don't even want you there too. They don't. They don't want you there. And then you have to like break the ice the whole time. And I do every time. But I would get on my knees in the middle of the show. Hold on.

No, this is how I won. Your husband is seven feet away know i would have to get down on my knees every single show and i'd grab their phone and they'd be facetiming their daughters ah yeah and i would win the show right then they would all get out out of their seats and come up with their daughter on the phone just start throwing money at you and they were like oh my god yeah that is true though yeah you Once you connect with – that is actually – You got to find their little secret. You find their little secret, yeah, that little crack in the armor.

I'm like, who's got kids? Come on, you know? That's like when someone says to me – I had a woman said to me, she goes, you know, I want to say hello. I don't really like your material, but my kids do. And I was like, oh, great. And she's like, will you take a video but my kids do and I was like oh great and she's like will you take a video for my kids and every piece of me wants to be like

go away fuck off leave me alone but then she'll click on the video and I'm like making fun of her kids or whoever and I'm always like I guess this is I know what it's going to do for them how much they're like fans but I don't need to hear the other side of it I don't need the other person to go I you know, I don't like your shit.

I don't like your stuff at all. But my friend does. I don't need to hear that. I get a lot of bros too that will be like, dude, my sister loves you. I don't listen to you, but my sister loves you. Yeah, you're trash to me. You didn't have to say that part. What a guilty pleasure.

Or I'll get a guilty pleasure. I'm like, what the fuck does that mean? Or I'll get like, wow, you're like so much smaller than I thought you would be. What a guilty pleasure. Or I'll get a guilty pleasure. Yeah, that's what it is. And I'm like, what the fuck does that mean? Or I'll get like, wow, you're like so much smaller than I thought you would be. What does that mean? You're skinnier than I thought you'd be. And I was like, what does that mean? Wait, you're skinnier than I thought you'd be? Yeah, because I was a base girl. When you said small,

I thought you meant tiny. I mean, that too probably, but yeah. I'm a peanut. You are tiny. Thank you. But also, you guys are a tiny cute little package together. Yeah, he's my little short king. And then this is muscle. Tall boy. But also, you guys are a tiny, cute little package together. Yeah, he's my well-shot king. And then this is muscle. Tall boy.

But he's older. My husband's the oldest one in the house. So it fucks him up. Oh, right. You took after your parents a little bit. What? You wanted an old man. You wanted an old daddy around. Okay, he's older by a year.

You wanted an old daddy around. My daddy. You wanted your old daddy walking around. He's older by a year. You wanted an old daddy around. My daddy. You wanted your old daddy walking around. Yuck. Let me ask this though because we jump back. I sleep naked as well.

God bless. Good move. You don't. You would never. I get cold with this pregnancy. My main symptom, I'm like a sweaty gal

but with this main, the main symptom has been freezing. Really? Yeah, I hate it. Next album name by the way, Sweaty Gal. Sweaty Gal. You think that'll hit? Sweaty freezing. Really? Yeah, I hate it. Next album name, by the way, Sweaty Gal. Sweaty Gal. You think that'll hit?

Sweaty Gal. I mean, there's a lot of girls who sweat. Yeah, well, there are sweaty girls, and what's wrong with that? What's wrong with that? I'm pro-sweat. We love a sweaty girl. We love a sweaty girl at home. There are so many sweaty girls now that are like, yes!

I feel seen! Finally! Have you ever had somebody tell you that uh you know like they appreciate you because you make you validate them but the thing that validates them is something that you don't connect with do you know what i mean like that like if a girl was like uh you're just like me i'm xyz and you're like i'm not like that at all um no they're because they're always like i'm insecure or I didn't love myself. And that's me every day, you know?

What? Well, everyone's like, where do you get the confidence? And I'm like, well, I write these songs as like a hype guy to myself. Like I wish when I literally wrote bass with this guy, I was like, I wish this was on the radio because this is what I would need to hear right now. It's like opposite of what I felt. And the best therapy I ever got was I was forced to, in front of thousands of people, sing and dance about how much I love myself. And I was like, oh my God. It worked, though.

But it worked, like, for me. Like, I wouldn't dance in front of people before. I wouldn't change my outfits in the gym class with the girls. I would go in the stall. What was the fear? You just didn't, you were insecure? I was insecure, insecure yeah i came from a beach town everyone's like where's your bikini and i was like oh i don't own a bathing suit like i wear jeans in the ocean i was i was a tankini girl you know what i mean and my brothers like ripped me apart for that so i was

like i'm not gonna show you my tankini i'm gonna burn it so uh yeah i was just very insecure and now i'm like on stage shaking my ass being like I'm all about my body, you know. Yeah, but that's great. It's great. And it helped me along with millions of others. See, that's, I mean, look, I think what you said is that you forced yourself into your own confidence. Yeah, I do shit that scares me now because I see how awesome it is in the end. What's your thing now that still you're a little

shaky about uh always like my body and my your body's always on your mind yeah because i'm always like thicker than all the other pop stars you know and i compare myself a lot and it's tough who do you compare yourself to let's not go there no let's do it no let's not motherfucker because i'll knock them all down no No, you see a lot of people. Not a lot of people know how. Bad Bunny? You compare yourself to Bad Bunny? No, I love Bad Bunny.

Because he is hot. You hear things. I work very hard and no one knows. People will be like, well, you wrote this. And I'm like, bro, I wrote this. I produced it. I'm in this too. Only people who know me and see it are like, oh my God, you do it all.

And it's tough to hear like, oh, like this pretty supermodel girl, she just goes in and cuts the song and then it's a hit because the biggest songwriters wrote it for her and it's so easy. And I was like... Wouldn't you rather be you?

Yeah, I'd rather be me. Yeah, fuck all that. Took me years to get over that. And now I'm like, when I get a song like Made You Look pop off, I'm like, fuck yeah. I wrote it in my shower. I wrote this shit. Like, this is about me. I'm like when I get a song like Made You Look pop off I'm like fuck yeah I wrote it in my shower I wrote this shit like this is about me I'm fucking great. Did you write in the shower?

Yeah. Do you have a mechanism to write in the shower? I've always thought about that. I knew I needed a self love anthem and I didn't have one on this album yet and it was towards the end and I get told a lot like when you do podcasts and when you go to get your nails,

you need to have paparazzi there and wear designer clothes because you're famous. And I'm like, yeah, but I wear hoodies. And my husband, when I get in the shower, I walk by, he's like, you're so hot, you're so beautiful. And I'm like, really? Well, he's looking. He loves me and he thinks I look great as I am. So I wanted that concept and i

was in the shower naked being like i could have nothing on and be sexy or i could wear like ugly ass pajamas and he thinks i'm sexy so i want a song that's like yeah i could have the bougie clothes but i could also wear my hoodie and my husband thinks i'm still be fire fire i do like that i gotta tell you sometimes when she wears when my lady wears trash around the house, I'm like horny as fuck. I don't know why. Easy access, I think. Well, because trashy clothes look like you're like, I don't know, something about it is

like, oh, you're up to no good. You're a bad girl. I don't know why. I'll look at him and be like, woof. And he's like, you've never been hotter. Yeah, I don't know something about it because when we go, when she gets all dolled up and we go out and dressed up and stuff, yeah of course you're like, you look beautiful.

But for some reason. You look beautiful. You look beautiful. But for some reason, dude, shitty clothes. I don't know why, like sloppy, shitty. And she took note now because she I mean always, she's always. Now she only lives sloppy. Yeah. Now she only wears triple XL sweaters.

Yeah. She does wear all my shit. Do you wear his shit? He's a skinny boy. I don't like that tight fit. Yeah. Like, he's, if we get hoodies, I always am like, what's the XL? Give me the XL.

And he takes a large. He likes it to fit him because he also has a big ass, like a big. Big. He's got a badonk. Like a gorgeous badonk. So if he wears something too long, it starts looking like a triangle. And he's like,

I hate it, you know? Do you work out the tush? Or is that born, maybe he's born with it. It's an incredible tush. It's like people walk by and they're like, it's high up.

Like my, my manager, I have, kids got a nice, one of my managers is like this cute young gay boy and he's like, look at it.

And I'm like, yo, I see it every day. He's like, it's amazing. And you're like, stay away. It's just a surprise. You're like, keep training me, okay?

You don't get my husband's ass. He'll literally elbow me like, fucking crazy. I'm like, I know, I get to bounce it every night. I'm like, look at this thing. Stop going to these sessions, dude. You're distracting him from his job. Your ass is distracting. And on his body, he's got a dunk.

I do think about writing in the shower. That is funny because so many of my ideas have come from then or right as I'm falling asleep. And I've said before multiple times, I wish there was a device. I know someone's made up a way to write in the shower. Someone just asked me this. They're like, did you write your lyrics on the glass? I was like, no. But I need a physical thing to write.

Well, yours is longer. Mine's like a chorus. No, mine is like, no, because we do more, it's more like keywords. Yeah, yeah. And the keyword will click the thing that I'll remember the most. Is that how you write your comedy? Yeah, like I'll do, I'll tell you how I do it because I'm going to ask you the exact same question. What I do is I will sit in something and I'll talk about it to myself like for an hour.

something and I'll talk about it to myself like for an hour. If I have the concept in my mind of what I think I know I like, and I think it's funny, I'll just sit and write about it. It'll sometimes be nothingness. It'll it's like, let's say, um, the other day I was just talking about, uh, and this isn't me formulating, but I was talking to my friend about the idea of organized crime, how the name is complimentary. It's like, you a bad guy, but at least you were like you're organized about it. And we were joking about that. And like let's just say if that was my concept and I was going to write a joke about it, I would do for an hour. I would Google about organized criminals. Oh, wow.

I would find a guy that I really would attach to. And none of this stuff may make it into the bit at all. But it's like ingesting all this knowledge and ideas of about the world and the tree that connects to it. And then sometimes from that births something else. So that's my way. And then a lot of times if I get to a place in that

where I find something that had nothing to do with organized crime, that's gone and it's a whole new bit from something else. So that's how I do it. Well, that's the only way's a whole new bit from something else yeah so that's what i that's how i that's how i do it well that's the only way i've ever been able to operate is i'll take like a nugget of something that i really like and then i'll whittle it away with a little way and then sometimes this is again i want to give this back to you years later it'll just in my mind out of nowhere i'll be doing something and go fuck and i'll remember a thing to attach it

to a new joke that i'm working on from a piece that i threw away years ago wow i mean like when you're songwriting are you are like do you go in like that where you have a piece of something and then you grow from that well nowadays i don't know if it's because i'm like i want to get it done i like going to work and then having a product to go to sleep with and listening to it over and over again. So I know I have to go in, get it done in the few hours that I have, but then record all of my vocals, which could take an hour to two hours because I like a lot of backgrounds. So I like to go in no later than 11 a.m. to the studio, which is my basement. And then I like to be wrapped by 6 p.m. so that I can be there for the boy to give bath time and bedtime. Right?

And by then I should be done. And we'll have like lunch breaks, baby breaks. But the other day I start – we had to start at 2 or 3 because the guy couldn't do any earlier, my co-writer. And I got done at like 7, so I missed bath time. That sucked. But I was like – Bad mom. Bad mom.

Sucked. i literally was like ah he'll remember this forever but he won't ever but you're sitting in it if you're in it it's hard to break away and then yeah yeah it is and daryl sees me i'm like running and like getting my vocals done and he's like just say good night i'll take him and i'm like thank you and then disheveled after but nowadays too i always like to go in with an idea i don't like like, my nightmare is showing up to a songwriting session with new strangers trying to, like, write a song with people you just met. And they're like, well, does anyone have an idea? No. That's like pulling teeth.

I like to come in nowadays with a full chorus of, like, here's a concept. Here's a chorus. What do you think? We could finish the verses and be done by an hour. So you, the chorus is, if you're're like if i've got this chorus you guys because that's the hardest part so i'm like let me get the hard part done right so i had um the chorus to made you look and then we fill out the verses so you had that locked yeah and i went to the gym that morning with my brother and i sang it to him on the treadmill like is this good or

is this trash and he was like he sang it back and he was like, that's fire, bro. So is he your honest barometer? Yeah, he is my honest barometer. Honest bro-rom, bro-rom-er. Yeah, I put him in sessions too. Will you say it's trash if it's trash? Yeah. Also like. You'll be wrong a lot of times, I bet.

Only, no, you're not wrong. There's this, there's this new song I have that's like, um, it's not out yet, but it's like, it's talking about men mansplaining me and I'm like I'm so fucking sick of it like shush shush and I sang him the idea and he was like ugh

you sound annoying and I was like precisely you know and it's perfect yeah I was like I want you to be mad and then after I finished it

he was like fuck I love this song what's the impetus for that though where did that come from that's a big word what's that where did that come what's the birth of that

like when the mansplaining like did somebody do something in public my album is out and like they were like oh what like who mansplained me like who did it that they were like you know what a lot of music video sets so i've done this for a while now and i know like yo i need better lighting on this side like there's shadows on my face you could see it it's obvious but all men run that shit they run lighting they're like i don't see it. It's obvious. But all men run that shit. They run lighting. They're like, I don't see it.

You look good. And I'm like, bro, if you just beam up the breezy light and do this. Like, I'm in it so deep that I know what will look good. I'm like, you got to fill over here, fill here. But I, like, edit all my shit myself now. And it's just frustrating because they'll be like, they'll fight me for a minute. And then they'll be like, oh, you were right. I'm like, yeah, no shit, dog.

Only I know how good I'll look if I do it myself. I wish there was eight of me. You need to start woman-splaining to these men. I do. And they're like, well, our boss said that. I'm like, I'm telling you, your boss will do this in five minutes. Like, it gets me fired up. I almost sneezed.

Almost bless you. Sorry. It's all that woman splaining got me my allergies kicked in yeah but you know what you're but you are right though

there is a there is like a also on sets everybody thinks they know better than everybody else so that's also tough that's why

you know that's why there's so much ego and attitude it's not just the actors the performers people don't realize everyone who does their craft is like don't question me that's why you know that's why there's so much ego and attitude it's not just the actors the performers people don't realize everyone who does their craft is like don't question me yeah yeah we just did this thing in paris this weird fucking comedy fashion thing that was insane that was like the weirdest thing i've ever fucking done in my entire life and the attitudes of fashion holy

fuck i had no idea you think you know you have no idea they're frustrated I'm not going to mention anybody's names but I tell you off camera two very high accomplished people in their own fields one of them was like why is this blah blah blah and the other one's like because it is

and I'm standing there and this argument's like brewing and I can see it about to crack and then finally the one person I'm standing there and they're like – this argument is like brewing and I can see it about to crack. And then finally the one person – I'm keeping it super vague. This one person. The one human being slams down the materials that they had and was like, we'll take 10 and walked out. And I was like, oh, you want me to leave or what do I do? What do I do?

What are you doing in that situation you walk away you just literally get on your phone and walk away thank god for iphone you get on your phone because you just immediately are like i gotta get that thing because i don't know how to feel text my wife help but you're just like you watching these people's attitudes their egos are massive dude it's crazy and the people around them are very like uh-huh uh-huh like scared out of their fucking mind. And so I made a couple of jokes as comics. We went to the fitting.

Of course I'm joking around. Like it's a part of that's what this whole thing was. But, man, you could tell. I said the guy was like one of the designers was like, I need scissors. And people were doing 50 things at once. And then I jokingly I go get some fucking scissors

dude nobody laughed they thought you were serious oh my god they like ran some dude was like what were you doing out of fashion day I was like

I'm just kidding oh my fucking god don't fire that guy's gonna kill himself he's fired yeah there's a designer you can't fuck around like that

I know but that's what's so annoying about those worlds. You're like, dude, stop taking this so serious. Take your job serious, but also, like, can we have a little fucking fun in the break? Fashion is serious. People are afraid of losing their jobs. People are afraid of, like, I'll never work again in this thing because fashion is so precise. What was I doing?

It was nuts, dude. There's a designer named Kid Super. Colum Delane, great dude. And he... Were you at Fashion Week? Yeah. He got the contract. Virgil Abloh passed away. Rest in peace. One of the greatest. When Virgil's deal was done with

Louis Vuitton... They called you. They call me. They go, Santin. And no, they... But they were looking for new designers to kind of do another uh uh residency with them and colin was one of the first ones and they announced it the day that he called me when i was in new york and he he was like we're getting together comics that we love to do a comedy fashion show hosted by tyra banks how did i not see this and i was like wait are you being serious right i? I thought it was a bit.

I was like, fuck off. Yeah, yeah. And he was like, no, I'm dead serious because it was guys that I knew. It was me and Andrew Schultz and Theo Vaughn and other comics in our little atmosphere. Did you see this? It was wild. And I was like, is this really going to be a thing or are you kind of, is this going to fall through?

You know what I mean? I assumed it'd be a thing. Well, we really want to do this. And then, you know, a day before they're like, listen, dude, it's not going to, that's insane. It's not going to happen. But truly he was like, I want to fly you guys out, put you in this, this new line that I've got. I want you to tell a couple of jokes while Tyra does outfit changes because she's hosting.

So we were interim for her to fill, you know, for her to change. And he was like, I think it's going to kind of be a new standard of uniqueness because these shows are boring and they're all the same. Like he did the Louis show the night before and it's, you know, 12 minutes and it's going to kind of be a new standard of uniqueness because these shows are boring and they're all the same. They are. Like he did the Louis show the night before and it's, you know, 12 minutes and it's. Flashing lights. It's just the exact same thing. Yeah.

And it's precise and it's wonderful. Was it great? All that stuff is cool, but. No, but was yours great? Ours was very fun. It was fucking fun. I think it threw them off. I think they didn't know what to expect.

Like you would do it again? 100%. Wow. Yeah. And all we all did, all of us, we all wrote material for the thing. So we were all like, I just want to write jokes for like, you know, you can't use any of your real material back home at this. It just wouldn't slot right. So I just wrote shit, making fun of it. You know, we all kind of, we made fun of ourselves. Yeah, you have to.

You know, I was like, I was dressed, you can see on my Instagram, the suit that I wore, but I said I looked like Vincent Van Gogh on and come out of the closet already or something like that. It was just like

shitting on ourselves and taking the piss and they liked it. At first, everyone was nervous that they were going to be like, but they loved it and Tyra was lovely.

Yeah. Shout out to her, by the way. She's great. I don't know if I should leak this, but we go in the lobby and she won't care. But we go in the lobby and she's coming in with her partner and she's saying goodbye because they were taking off early and we were spending an extra day. And I was like, where did you go?

And she's like, we were starving. I was like, where'd you guys go? She's like, five guys to get a burger. I was like, you fucking, that's amazing. I was like, that's so dope. In Paris, she's like, let's go to five guys. Five like, five guys to get a burger. I was like, you fucking, that's amazing. I was like, that's so dope. In Paris, she's like,

let's go to five guys. Five guys, yeah. They got a burger. She goes, have you had the bacon shake? I was like, man,

I think I love you, lady. I think I fell in love with her in front of her partner. But it was cool. It was wild. It was different. It was,

I don't know. I would definitely do it again, but it was so surreal. Did you bring your wifey? No, dude, it was 48 hours. It was 48 hours. She know. I would definitely do it again, but it was so surreal. Did you bring your wifey? No, dude. It was 48 hours. Why would you bring her, man? What does she do? It was 48 hours.

She's a busy, busy bee. What does she do? Does anyone know? Do you want to talk about it? I can't even tell you, dude. She's in the CIA. She's in the CIA. Oh, shit.

She is a secret agent. Yeah. She does, she works for a very high-powerful group of people that could kill anybody at any second. My husband's in that group. Uh-huh. I know. A spy.

A little kid spy over there. Now he's a man spy. Now he's a big boy. Yeah, but he's all grown up. He's got a big telescope. By the way, how did this whole thing start

with the thing that I posted about you talking to Chelsea Handler about redhead wieners? How did this whole conversation start? Oh, you know how people call into her podcast

and say help? This one sweet guy called in and was like i got bullied so hard for being a redhead and she was telling him like the past is the past and i was like also redheads are the ones right now like we're in they're having a moment we're in and i'm just birthing out like four of them so you think this might be a redhead too i mean my first kid is fire right red like this right but cool red like yours. Yeah. Yeah. Dope.

It's dope red. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, all redheads are cool, but like he's like. Not all of them. We know there's a couple of bad. There's a couple of bad heads in the mix.

So, yeah. And like, because I was a redhead, he's a redhead, like their gene is going to happen. You know? It's going to happen for sure. So we were telling him like, it's dope. And then Chelsea mentioned like I dated a redhead that had a beautiful penis. And I was like, they're like sculptures. I was like, they're also massive.

Like, where we struggle sometimes. Because I'm like, is it all the way in? Because, ouch. Too much. Too much. Good old too much over there. And he's like, that's the tip. And I'm like, that's all you get.

Jesus Christ. You know? Who did she date that was a redhead? I wonder. When she said that, I was like, I wonder. We'll never know. I guess Bobby Flay that's a good guess isn't it though

I thought about it for like an hour I was like in my house I was like who knows I was like really going through all the famous redheads no Carrot Top he does not sling I gotta tell you I've seen his package you've seen his package? no I'm not how would I fuck it no chance

I feel like he definitely swings he does sing he got an extension in Vegas I think he's got a penis Have you seen his package? No, how would I fucking, no chance. I was like, I feel like he definitely swings. Or like swings? He does sink. He got an extension in Vegas. I think he's got a penis extension now. God bless Carrot Top. God bless Carrot Top. Do your thing, CT. Do your thing.

I was thinking, I think Bobby Flay might be the only other guy that would be valid. Because he's been single. I'll ask her. Yeah, I want to know. And then I'll text you. 50 cent maybe. Did he have red hair? For a short amount of time?

They did date. That was probably one of the wildest couplings I've ever seen in my life. Because 50 is one of those guys that... When I started dating my sweet boy over here, my brothers were like, but you could have a basketball player. You could. And I was like, I like this one right here. This one.

Did you play any sports? No. No. Okay. That's good. He's an actor. Did you play any sports? No. No. Okay. That's good. He's an actor. Did you used to date athletes? I had a fling thing

with one for like a week. Don't tell me who it is. Who is it? I'll never tell you. But what sport? It wasn't even a thing. What sport? B-ball.

And then I heard all these horror stories about how they cheat. No, no, no. I'm trying to guess. Hold on. Are you going to guess? Yeah, I know who it is.

I don't even like remember. I know who it is is i know who it is wrap it up i know exactly who it is i know who it is uh carl malone then but then my bros were like stoked they're like oh bro we could be we could hang out with those guys yeah they love sports yeah but you could always go sleep with one of those athletes you could get get a b-ball player, bro. You could get a basketball player. He likes a woman. You could get a WNBA. A tough gal. Strong.

Who's like the new hot girl in the WNBA? Come on, dude. How do you not follow? Actually, I'll tell you what. What's her name? Went to my high school. Or went to one of our... My sister's school, I'll tell you what. What's her name? Went to my high school. Or went to one of our... My sister's school, I guess.

We won't know. The most famous WNBA player. She's like the one. She's not Lisa Leslie. She went to your school and you can't remember her name? She went to my sister's school. She went to the other school. But she was like a part of our world.

I don't know. I see her face. I close my eyes and I see it, but I don't remember. That's because, you know, time and age. I'm your dad face. I close my eyes and I see it, but I don't remember that's because you know time and age I'm your dad now I'm losing my memory is your fish still alive. No they died what that was a whole part of the story Can you imagine now I have fake fish do you yeah? I spent way too much money on this like holographic thing that and they just fly up and it's like

Nemo fish and two yellow ones. And it impresses everyone. I go, that's my fish. It won't die. What's the biggest waste of money that you've ever spent? Is it shit like that? Probably not. Yeah, that. It was like three grand. And everyone's like, that's the best part of the house.

For holographic fish. Yeah, it was worth it though. I just got robbed for sure. Yeah, so what? Get ripped off. Yeah. But it's the hit of the house. People love it.

That's not the most expensive thing that you've ever wasted money on. But that was a win. Give me the thing. What's the biggest waste? He knows. I'm trying to think of it. Come on of the house. People love it. That's not the most expensive thing that you've ever wasted money on. But that was a waste. Well, give me the thing. What's the biggest waste? He knows. I'm trying to think of it. Come on. The big deal.

I buy, like, I've invested in my house right now because we've turned it into paradise. Yeah, but that's not foolish. Right. I don't fuck around. Like, my business manager's like, you don't spend money. Like, you're great. Like, you buy shit for your home that'll help your family and stuff. Right.

But you don't buy, like, oh, today I bought a car or a rolex you know like i don't you've never done that fuck around like that that's nice i also don't know a good concept of money i don't know i couldn't tell you like how much i have and i don't know like what's a big purchase you know like but i always call my girl like yo is it okay if i get veneers you know like i do that but it's better that way. But you're, you, everything that you've spent your money on sounds like it's you, it's utilized for, it's not, it's not a, well, I shouldn't say it's a need, but it's almost like a, it's a necessity for your career or your growth. You've never gone out of pocket. Do you know what I mean by that? Like

you've never done a thing where you're like, that was unbelievably unnecessary. And I can't believe you spent all that money. You know what? I did. You did. What did you do? Skin care. Yeah. There it is. Skin care. Big money. I spent thousands of dollars in Hawaii. It was my brother drinking Rebel. So sorry. Relax.

Dude, you know what, dude? You come into this room. You stomp around here. You son of a bitch, dude. That was the quietest moment. I spent thousands of dollars on a skin care in Hawaii. We were on vacation, and this guy sold me. He said, I, we got got. You got got bad.

He said, Mariah Carey uses this and I fucking believed it. Not true. Because her picture was in the store and he was like, he's like, I had. Have a photo of her. I was like, well, she must have approved it. Right. I was younger and he had rosacea and like showed me, here's my before and after. And I was like, well, it must be magic cream. What had rosacea and like showed me here's my before and after and I was like well

it must be magic cream and what's rosacea it was like red rashiness all over his face so just me all the time yeah and I was like well if I could fix if you could fix that way that my face was gonna be spotless how did it turn out did nothing did nothing yeah I used it till it was all gone but I spent thousands I've thought about that getting into the makeup game is just what a money pit it's so great, man. It's just people spend so much money on it and who knows if anything works.

Just tell me what does Brad Pitt do because he's the prettiest person I've seen live. I know. It's like who's their doctors? I asked Chelsea Handler because she aged so beautifully and she's like a white gal

and I was like, what's your doctor doing? Yeah, because us whites, we don't do so good after time. We're not going to do so good. Father time is not so nice. I miss my Botox and I can't do it when I'm pregnant. You can't do Botox when you're pregnant?

And I just started. I'm like 29. I've just begun. Right. But now I notice like all my wrinkles when I don't have it. Why can't you do it when you're pregnant? Because it's... No one's...

I asked. I went to the girl. I was like, give me a little bit, right? And she was like, no, we just don't know what will happen and no one's willing to take the risk. And I was like, no one. I'm one. I'm one person. I'm one person. There's the risk. And I was like, no one. I'm one. I'm one person. There's only one psycho girl that's like, give it to me, you know?

I'm sure it's been done before. There's no doubt in my mind. Well, I mean, there's some girls that's like, I didn't know I was pregnant. I got it done. And I was like, and you were fine. Well, because Botox is botulism. What's that? Another big word.

Botulism can kill you. What the fuck? Yeah, it can. It can do. My Botox can kill you. What the fuck? Yeah, it can. It can do. My Botox can kill me? No, it's such a small amount. But if it was, it could be toxic to human beings. You know why I also started it?

Because my dentist, who gave me my veneers, was like, you need to get Botox here because I'm a snapper at night. Do you have a mouth guard? I did, but that's just a chew toy. You know what I'm talking about? Like, I'm like a... Oh, you don't grind.'t grind, I snap like a turtle do you hear this sometimes? yeah, he has to like wake me up

you also have panic breathing? I have panic attacks some people that have grinding or snapping at night they also have like heavy breathing at night I have nightmares every night I think because I'm creative I think so.

My dad's like musician too, and he's like, oh, my dreams are fucked. Do you remember your dreams? I had one dream. I've never said this out loud. Here it is. The sheep one. Should I say the sheep one? Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Yo, Daryl goes no. He says no chance. I had a dream that a sheep, like a lamb was eating me out. Yay. And I was like me out. Yay! And I was like, yay! Why? You know, I don't know. I asked my therapist.

I was like, what does it mean? You know. What do they say? I can put it together for you. Can you? No one has solved it for me, but go ahead. Sheeps. Wonderful.

Okay, so they're very sweet. I don't even know sheeps. You don't know any sheeps? I don't know one personally. You don't know any sheeps? You got no sheeps. Uh, wonderful. Okay, so they're very sweet. I don't even know sheeps. I don't know one personally. You don't know any sheeps? You got no sheeps in your neighborhood? No, I haven't seen one in years. But they're soft and lovely and sweet. Okay, it was like a cartoony looking one. Right.

It doesn't sound like a dirty one. They're not like threatening. It was white. I don't know if that matters. Curly. He has curly hair. Curly hair. Curly.

Are you my little sheep? I think he's your little sheep. And that's, see, that sounds mean for some reason. No, he's a lovely sheep. But you go with her everywhere. She was hurting me. And you're, yeah, she's hurting you down. And you're hurting him down.

Okay, maybe that's it. Does it make sense? Do you have dreams like that? No, no, God, no. I bet Bobby does. Bobby definitely does. Bobby definitely does. When he does get to sleep for, you know, after video games for all day.

I have dreams. A lot of times I'm lost in my dreams. Like I'm trying to find my way to the thing. That I don't like. Yeah, those are my least favorite dreams. But I never have had, I don't remember having like. Nightmare nightmares? Nightmare nightmares.

I don't really have like. Ryan has them too, right? Really? Like, reet, reet. Like you're going to get killed? He has sleep paralysis where he'll like you know when you wake up a little bit but you're stuck and frozen and someone's at the end of the bed like choking you that you that's you have that yeah oh my god drugs drugs drugs

drugs drugs drugs that'll do it though yeah you're not a drinker and a drug user no i'm pregnant so but i mean if you're not pregnant if not no yeah i would have like a glass of wine and i would get plastered i was like i turned into such a lightweight when i got older and would like order amazon like just go nuts oh you're that you shop when you're drunk yeah and then i would get like he would have piles of boxes and daryl's like what have you done yeah what did you do right there i do the opposite i get drunk i return everything i just start packaging stuff and yeah that's great it's actually pretty efficient bullshit i don't buy like crazy so i'm like deodorant you know like i'll buy bullshit i i like amazon is my favorite place to buy bullshit when you said the grinding thing i just buy literally just bought um a uh sonic you know like an infrared thing to clean

my night guard oh fuck yeah and i was and i literally when i came i was like why did i fucking buy this why did i buy this yeah but i and I literally, when I came, I was like, why did I fucking buy this? Why did I buy this? You got charged. Yeah, but I was like, why did I do this? And she was like, did you need a new thing for it? And I was like,

no, but I think I just saw it and I see things on Amazon and I go, they look sick. I want that. Yeah. And you're a child

and you get to just go, it's at your house. Yeah, you go, one swipe and it's at my home. It's too convenient. It's too good. It's too easy. Do they have, do they have, in Australia? Yeah, do go. One swipe and it's at my home. Yeah. It's too convenient. It's too good. It's too easy. Do they have,

do they have, In Australia? Yeah, do they? Yeah. I literally, you knew what I was going to say. because I was like, does anyone know you're going to Australia

because we should talk about it. I like, I'm buying fresh things like a traveling toothbrush and a little razor and I'm just packing that and then, so I don't have to pack

like the night before and then when I get, I'm planning on, okay, when I arrive, I'll Amazon that big stuff that I don't want to pack, you know? Smart. That's what I want to do because I haven't packed.

We're both going to Australia for two months. I'm both going to Australia for two months. Just to hang out with each other. Because we want to get away from the States. We're bored. We can't hang out here. I'll be in Melbourne. I'll be in Sydney.

You'll be in Sedney. Melbourne. Sedney. Sedney. I'll be there. And I thought thought i'm leaving in literally 10 hours yeah and i have not packed one thing oh god but i don't but this is how i operate i like the last minute because then i go now i will only pack what i need if i packed days in advance like she does it's fucking 30 cycles of being like am i ever gonna wear this and i'm And I'm like, oh my God. It's tough because it's summer there.

Oh, it is summer there. And it's tough for me because I'm going to get larger. Yeah, you're going to be a big girl. I'm going to be a big girl. Yeah, but what do you need to really bring there? And if you need something, you'll get it there. It's not like- I know, we're not going to like a random place

that doesn't have a mall. Right, we're not going to go- We're going to a city. We're going to major cities with all this shit. In fact, right before you guys came, I was Googling because I needed this wire for one of the cameras that I'm going to bring. And I was like, oh, man, should I have Max, the guy that works with us, go grab one today? Right across the street from me is an electronics store at the hotel.

And I was like, fine. What am I? In your mind, you're like, I'm going away to a foreign land. Forever. Yeah. They won't have stuff that we have here. Like, yeah, they do. But is their Amazon different

that's why I'm freaking out I know like will they have my specific toothpaste they will they 100% will what do you use this Himalayan pink

looking stuff whoa I'm a fancy guy whoa I'm a Sensodyne guy because I'm 104 years old and my dentist was like you need to have something

that's sensitive on your teeth because your gums are little sad boy gums. Little sad. I use the same toothpaste that people with ARP use. It's really sad. What's the Himalayan stuff? Can I buy this? It's on Amazon.

It's a Himalayan salt toothpaste? Yeah, but it tastes like mint. And it's pink and mine's a whole pump. Is he allowed to use it? He comes and steals it. I'm like, why is it gone? See, this is something I am curious because in our house, there will be – sometimes it's like, you know, you share everything. But then she'll buy a body wash thing that she really loves and she'll see me use it.

And she's like, well, I got you one. I'm like, well, I like the way this one smells. And she's like, that's mine. That's mine now, yeah. And I'm like, but it's not. It's ours. It's in our shower. Well, you have one shower, right?

No, we have multiple showers, but we take the same shower. We use our shower. You use one shower? Of the showers in the home? Yeah. Yeah, we use the one in our room. I don't use the other ones. Ours is one of those where it's like you walk in the bathroom and there's two different

sides that mirror each other. And so it's like shower here, shower there. So shower on two sides? Yeah. I don't have trainer money dude no i listen that's my last hour and we miss it we miss we miss being together right we have a walk-in rain but this one's we're like oh shit there's two showers like i'm never gonna see you ever again like brilliant sometimes we'll share but most times what about toilets separate toilets obviously yes two different toilets cannot side by side yes Yes? Ours are stacked up on top of each other.

I've not heard of my famous toilets. No, your what? Your toilets are right next to each other? Yeah. You never use them simultaneously? Yes, we pee all together. You hold hands? All the time, yeah. He sits and pees with me. Really? Mine's heated. His isn't. But you won't fart in front of him? Yes, I won't. You will. And when I do, he'll go, good job,

babe. Get it out. He goes, get it out. Get it out, baby. Don't let it stay in. Don't let it stay in., I will. You will. And when I do, he'll go, good job, babe. Get it out. He goes, get it out. It's not good for you. Get it out, baby. Don't let it stay in. Don't let it stay in. It's not good for you. Because I read something.

And I'm going to tell you. This came from me trying to learn how to, I was writing a joke about something else. This is where this birth came, what I just talked about. Where do farts go when you hold them in? Up and out your mouth. This is crazy. This is crazy. Do you know that's true?

Yes. Do you know that farts, the gas, if you held it in so long, if you continue to hold in gas, whether it's burping. And your burps are stinky, bro. That's the fart you held in. That's a fart mouth that you got. It's fucking gross. Because gas can dissipate and it can change shape and form

and go into your bloodstream. It's going to come out. It has to come out some way because it's gas. And I was a big holder in farts like in high school. Let it out. I never pooped in school not once i had i was poop shamed a lot to myself i couldn't i can't poop in public poopery saved my life not even paid to say this poopery saved my life why because and now i don't no one's allowed to

shit in my house without poopery right we don't have to smell shit it's brilliant spray that poop but like yeah i couldn't i couldn't deal not even before fame i couldn't deal with leaving the stall having people know that i just bombed it up in there and i don't have like the stinkiest poops but i was like they're gonna know i pooped and now i'm famous and now i don't want to like walk out and they're like yo megan trainer just blow it up yeah i can't get over that and i stinky fame ever and all my girlfriends are like oh i just fucking dropped it like wherever i'm like i wish i had that confidence i don don't care. I couldn't care less. I never had that. Really?

In high school, too, I never cared. Oh, my God, I could never. Yeah, but it's women is different. The rules are so much different for you guys. It's like a— I just have belly aches all day. See, that's why you guys are in pain all the time. Yeah.

When girls are like, my stomach hurts. Like, yeah, you have to shit. You have to fart and shit. You guys have had to shit for 30 years. I've held in. Let them out, dude. Let them fly. No, I never had that fear.

I actually had friends that would have that, that couldn't go to the bathroom at school because they were embarrassed or something. So what for? I got to teach my kids, like, poop wherever you want. Poop wherever you can. Yeah. And that's why me and my friend Sean always text each other

because we love public stalls where the doors go all the way to the floor. Fuck yeah. Love. When you get your own little... That's where I can maybe do it. Like, Nordstrom. I know there's... I know When you get your own little. That's where I can maybe do it. Like Nordstrom. I know there's,

I know where my secure bag was at. I was like, okay, we could go here. That is so funny and so true. I have to like map them out. Because no one will see. You're like,

I'm in my own cubby. No one's going to know. And they don't know if someone did it before me. Right. And you walk out and you go, that's the fucking girl. I bring Poo-Poo-Ree in my bag. Do you?

Yeah. And I call it Ree-Ree, you know, is our secret word. Give my Ree-Ri, baby. Yeah, so I'll be like, Mama, you got the Ri-Ri? By the way, you should be sponsored. I should.

I've called them. They have so much money, they don't need me. No, they need you. I wish. They need you because they're slipping a little. I was like, I will write you a song. I keep up with Poo-Pourri stocks, and they're bombing right now. Really?

Yeah, they're bombing right now. You know what's going on. Call me. Call her, please. Because you saved my life, let me save yours. You know what's going on. Poo-pourri, call me. Call her, please. Because you saved my life. Let me save yours. You know? I said I would do a commercial sitting on a toilet being like, are you nervous like me?

You know, I'll do the whole thing. I see it right now. I already see it. I would press buy. Poo-pourri, get your act together. Poo-pourri, call me. Call me, Poo-pourri. Is there a brand that you like that truly that you've always wanted to work with?

Miralax. Miralax. Really? Yes. a brand that you were that you like that truly that you've always wanted to work with Miralax Miralax really yes I'm a Miralax gal because my poops are hard and I have anal fissures all right we'll be right back imagine I cut to a commercial with Miralax yeah Miralax is the brand yeah that's it and I went to a butt doctor like a poop doctor because I was like there's a slice in me and it hurts is it a hemorrhoid is it this they're like no it's anal fissure and I was like but I eat really well now like, there's a slice in me and it hurts. Is it a hemorrhoid? Is it this? And they're like, no, it's anal fissure. And I was like, but I eat really well now. Like I'm on a health kick.

Like and I drink a gallon of water. Doesn't matter. She's like, I wish it was as simple as change your diet. But some people are just Miralax people. And I had to start doing that. And that's the only thing that cured my slice in my butt. Wow. I know.

But it did. It worked. It worked. Miralax. But if I don't have my Miralax up for a couple weeks or something, if in a couple days I don't go without it, I'm like back at it. Really? Yeah. Should I do Miralax?

Do I need it? I don't know if I need it. Well, not if you're not crying on the toilet like me. Never cried on the toilet. See? Well, not from pooping. Okay. I've cried just because sometimes you got to sit down and take a cry out.

Take a cry out. Sometimes you got to take a cry out. You're like, I got to go to the bathroom. I have to go to the bathroom. I have to go to the bathroom. That's why you cry. Yeah. Actually, the last time I... Cried was on the audio.

When was the last time I cried? Let's talk about this. Okay. When was the last time you cried? I haven't cried in a minute. I've been real happy. My buddy last night said to me, the guy that FaceTimed me, he goes, you're running hot. He goes, you're running hot because I was gone for a whole month on tour for the special and then i came back to la and i was gone to paris

now i'm here and then i'm gone again and he goes you're running hot do you haven't had five seconds to chill out and i was like yeah kind of and he goes i bet you so much money when you get to australia you gotta get to your hotel you're gonna cry like a baby and i was like no i won't and i now i think i will oh he's like it's gonna hit you you're gonna to cry like a baby. And I was like, no, I won't. Like a baby. Now I think I will. Oh, you should. He's like, it's going to hit you. You're going to be. I'm going to text you crying emojis. Okay, do it.

Let it out, baby. Let it out. Last time I cried, I remember now. It's because of my hormones because I'm pregnant. Yeah. We were watching White Lotus, the new season. Have you seen it? I haven't seen the new season.

Oh, what the fuck? But I was with, last night, I was with my buddy who was in the first season. Well, it's like this concept, I'll just say, is like cheating. So there's cheating going on. I was like, it's so sad, you know? And he's like, you're right. This season is Aubrey Plaza. Yeah.

Who else is in it? Great peeps. There's good peeps. Jennifer Coolidge is back. Coolidge is back, yeah, as usual. Better than ever. My boy Jake Lacey was in the first season. There's new people, too, and they're great.

In White Lotus, he D'Addario's Alexander D'Addario's husband oh fuck we love him yeah he plays a friend of the family where he's like a pedophile oh whoa

you haven't seen your boy play the pedophile uh uh oh my god he gets with this little girl gross yeah I need to call him

it's the best show it's fucked though it's really dark I was with him last night he's so good at being creepy he's a phenomenal actor we love him he's a phenomenal actor I know and he's funny he's great when he. It's really dark. I was with him last night. He's so good at being creepy. He's a phenomenal actor. We love him. He's a phenomenal actor. I know. And he's funny. He's great. When he got Emmy nominated, I texted him. I will.

I texted him and I said... He got nominated? Well, for White Lotus, he was up for an Emmy. And I texted him and I said, I hope you don't win. I love you. Because I know what happens when everybody gets nominated. Everyone comes out of the woodwork and is like, I'm so proud of you. All this compliment. I hope you fail. And you want someone to be normal with you. So I was like, you're never going to win. You suck. And he was like, I love so proud of you. And all this compliment. I hope you fail. And you want someone to be normal with you.

So I was like, you're never going to win. You suck. And he was like, I love you so much. Okay. Because I think when those things are so overwhelming, like when you get public recognition, like you've gotten, so many people come out of the woodwork.

They're like, so my oldest friend Megan has got it. And you're like, I don't fucking know that. I haven't had a hit in a while. And everyone's like, we knew you'd have a hit back on the radio. We always supported you. No, you didn't. You didn't. No, you didn't.

I had a whole album that you fucked me on. See? Bye. So I don't like that coming out of the woodwork stuff when people who don't mean much say pandering shit. Okay. You're like, don't. So when you're nominated, I'll be like.

Hope you lose. Or text me and be like, you're a fucking loser. I hope you get hit by a bus. Yeah. Okay. Hope you get hit by a bus. Hope you get hit by the same car that hit my dad. Yeah.

By the way, do we know what kind of car it was? Do we remember? A Beamer X5 That's a hard hit That's a big car That's a big fucking car Dude, your dad is tough

He's tough, he'll never die That was the second time He's been hit by a Beamer? He's been hit by cars many times in his life Is your dad trying to kill himself? No, he was on a motorcycle He was that guy Okay, okay

Yeah I was like, is your dad just walking into traffic? Like, goodbye cruel world? He's on Nine Lives. Same with Ryan. Ryan should have died plenty of times from drugs and shit.

We talk about it all the time how like, because there's so much fentanyl and everything now. Yeah, it's bad. And I'm like, he's like, I did so many random drugs

that I had no idea where they came from. When I was young and I used to do, I used to try stuff and we didn't think about it. I could put something in my throat

and not think twice. Nowadays, I would never ever do that. Now it's like oopsie poopsies. Oopsie poopsie, you're dead. You're dead. Yeah, you're holding. Your friend was upset.

That's what it says on my tombstone. Oopsie poopsie. Took a pill, no longer here. It's fogged. No, but you know what they're doing? They're testing. Now they're giving away tests so that people can test cocaine and stuff like that. Because they know they can't tell them to not, but it's fucked.

There was a non-profit, I can't remember the name of it, and they were mostly in Europe, but they were going to festivals and they were setting up free drug testing. That's nice. And I was like, that should be a mandatory thing at festivals. Yeah, mandatory. At colleges.

To test everyone's drugs, to be like, we know you're going to do it. I'm homeschooling my kid forever. Are you really? Yeah. Too many guns. Too many drugs.

There's too much bad stuff? Too much bad stuff? He's bullies. He got two famous parents what are you gonna do keep him in my bubble but you don't have time to teach him

so you have someone coming to the she was at my house this morning was she really wow yeah this is the

this is the new age new age keep him inside he's got a couple friends that are gonna join him keep him indoors we got a pool in the back they could do swim class

so wait he's gonna be homeschooled with other homeschoolers? With other kids, yeah. So it'll be social. It won't be weird. So you'll be creating a school. It'll be trainer school.

Yes, but legally we can't call it that. That's right. So it's a pod. It's a pod. But it's the trainer academy. The trainer school of thought. Yeah. Is it a prep school?

We start with emotions. Oh. You know, we're going to teach you how to be a good person. Montessori. Are you guys registered? No, because legally we are not a preschool. That's right. We keep saying it. Shut the fuck up. That's true. That good person. Montessori. Are you guys registered? No, because legally, we are not a preschool. That's right. We keep saying it.

Shut the fuck up. That's true. That's true. The LA city comes after you. I'm just homeschooling. Hi, Ms. Traynor. We know that you're running an operation, a school, a full school. Can I say?

No. Can't say anything. No, you can't say. Don't say anything. I don't know. I have a nice spot. I have a nice place. And Ryan's a gym teacher.

Oh, you're saying, you're saying, oh, where you live. It's in my house. We'll put her address right here. This is her home address right here. We're putting it up right now. It's in Upland. No, I'm going to homeschool my kids to college. And then I'll be like, don't go to college.

You'll be fine. Do whatever you want. Did you go to college? No. Yeah, you turned out great. Yeah. I went to college, but I was just to get west. I just wanted to get west.

To get away, yeah. I wanted to go west. I knew I was trying to get out to California, and Arizona was the cheapest and furthest I could go And actually do it I couldn't afford California schools No not financially or brain space I was too dumb

I didn't get in a lot of colleges I knew people that were trying to go to UCLA I got into Berkeley You got into Berkeley? In Boston They're telling everyone they gave me a full scholarship. Berkeley College of Music. Yeah.

Well, I'll call them out, but yeah. Berkeley College of Music. Where are you now? I had a few friends that went there, actually. Yeah. I did. I got some. I know some alumnus.

And I can tell when a musician comes in to audition for me. I'm like, you a Berklee kid huh And they're like yeah How do you know Because they just play Full out Like crazy And I'm like

Alright Berklee go Like I Because they let them I like when they solo That's the thing Is like they're really Like loose and creative They're just like

Look how musical I am You know And I'm like We're playing a pop song At three chords my guy It's right here Reel it in pal Yeah yeah yeah

How many instruments Can you play me yeah not amazing but I play like everything to produce so like guitar

piano ukulele and then because you could play the piano you could play bass on there sure do it all

wait that just reminded me of something that you struck a chord trumpet not good ukulele Curtis Mayfield okay you know who that is curtis mayfield no you don't know who that is i've heard the name curtis mayfield right now taught himself this is an

interesting factoid that you just reminded me he taught himself how to play um the guitar in spanish tuning which is natural tuning because it's all the black keys on the piano. Wow. He learned to play just the black keys, and that was Spanish tuning on a guitar. So when he picked up a guitar, he could fucking rip because he just learned it was the exact same, like, tuning as black keys on the piano.

It said this on one of his old albums. One of these guys was on an interview talking about it, and I thought that was insane that he learned it He didn't even have to No one had to really teach him Except for learning how to Did it by ear But he literally did it by

He remembered what that sounded like I do a lot of stuff by ear You do that too? Mm-hmm That's fascinating as shit to me It's like Just I don't know

Yeah It's like You know what it's supposed to sound like And you're like It does go here I can read it because I played trumpet Through jazz band Through high school Nerd Yeah I was a played trumpet through jazz band through high school.

Nerd! Yeah, I was a band. But yeah, but in my high school, it was cool. Like the football players were playing clarinet. What a weird school.

Yeah, we were cool. Keep going, kids. Um, yeah, but my ears really, it's a great ear. I love it. I'm proud of my ears. Proud of those ears.

Yeah. You hide them behind that hair so we can't see it. Don't show anybody. Put them away. Put them away. Put them away. That's your moneymaker, baby. Don't let that be ears. Proud of those ears. Yeah. So I can find Harvey knows. You hide them behind that hair so we can't see it. Don't show anybody. Put them away. Put them away. Put them away. That's your money maker, baby.

Don't let that be out for too long. They're cute though. I don't, yeah. You got nice ears. I have really nice feet too. Well, I would say show it, but we're going to save that for WikiFeet. Yeah. Are you on WikiFeet?

I can make money from that. No, but I tell my friends they should be on it, especially my friends that live in LA that aren't in the same career as me. They're just getting by and they're in career as me they're like just getting by and they're like in tiny apartments and they're like meh

I wanna have a house someday I'm like sell your feet bro what are you doing you're burning money sell your feet the lesson to all

the young people out there today you come to Hollywood sell your feet I just talked to my teacher about it I was like you should sell your feet

does she have nice feet probably she's a little petite girl send me a photo of her feet when you get back. Yeah. I got real cute feet. Well, now you're pushing me right now to want to see your feet. All right?

You keep doing it. Actually, I can't show you now. My toes aren't painted. Oh, that's it. Yeah, you have to have. It can't go out like that. I can't show you now. Okay, so listen.

The announcement comes tomorrow. This episode will be out after the announcement already happens. So congratulations. The announcement comes tomorrow. This episode will be out after the announcement already happens. So congratulations. The world will find out that you're having another boy guest, guestimation. Yes. And his name will be Rydell.

Rydell. Rydell. Point at Ryan. Rydell. Rydell. Rydal. Point at Ryan. Rydal. Rydal. Rydal. That's it. That's what I said.

It's Rydal. I'm taking it. Rydal trainer, baby. July. Rydal trainer coming in July. And someone will go, is it Rydal? C-section. It's Rydal.

Oh, yeah. It's Rydal trainer. With an L. So I can't wait for this. I'm excited. And I can't wait to see you in Australia. I thank you for so much for doing the show. Plug whatever you want to plug right now.

I got a book coming out. I'm selling a book. My first book ever. Dear Future Mama. It's right here. It's gorgeous. It will be right here. See right here?

This is it. And they can buy it wherever books are sold. And then new singles dropping. Huge, huge song coming crazy music video what's it called shock the world you can't say it i can't say it but i am it and that's your only clue oh bars i'll play it for you after okay um i played it for chelsea and she was like oh my god congrats um and yeah uh we have a working on a pod me and my older bro who's the giggle guy over here. And it's great.

We get real personal and really open. And it's TMI. And you're going to love it. These fans are going to love it. Love it. They are going to love it. They love stuff like that. So go buy the book.

Go see you in Sydney. Well, Australian Idol. See you then. See you then. I'm a judge. Go say hi if you're in Sydney. Go say hi. Go buy the book.

Listen to the pod continue the support oh check me out on TikTok I'm popping there she's popping off on the talk I open Chinese owned TikTok you're popping too

and you didn't even know it yeah people do it for us isn't that funny people just like put us in the algorithm you're so successful it's working I feel like I post it myself it's working

I want to thank you so much for being on the show genuinely it means a lot huge fan we end you so much for being on the show genuinely it means a lot huge fan we end the show ditto we end the show

the same way one word or one phrase it's in that camera one word or one phrase it's going to end the episode it's going to be embedded in history forever as the end of this episode

so whenever you're ready one word or one phrase you go ahead poopery in here we pour whisk whisk whisk whisk whisk you were that creature in the ginger beer Poo-pourri.