Whiskey Ginger with Andrew Santino - Preacher Lawson

Episode Date: May 3, 2024

Preacher Lawson lights up the stage with his infectious energy and unmistakable charm. Known for his hilariously physical comedy and vibrant storytelling, he’s not just a stand-up comedian—he’s a showstopper. From dazzling audiences on 'America's Got Talent' to touring globally, Preacher turns every performance into a laugh riot with his boundless enthusiasm and unforgettable jokes. http://preacherlawson.com #preacherlawson #whiskeyginger #podcast #andrewsantino ================================================= SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS PRIZEPICKS DEPOSIT MATCH UP TO $100 PROMO CODE: WHISKEY DOWNLOAD THE APP! https://prizepicks.onelink.me/LME0/WHISKEY BETTER HELP Get the help you need from a licensed professional 10% off your first month https://betterhelp.com/whiskey ======================================= Follow Andrew Santino: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ https://twitter.com/CheetoSantino Follow Whiskey Ginger: https://www.instagram.com/whiskeyging... https://twitter.com/whiskeyginger_ Produced and edited by Joe Faria IG: @itsjoefaria Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In here, we pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey. You're that creature in the ginger beard. Sturdy and ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are beautiful. You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse. Gingers are hell no. This whiskey is excellent.

Ginger. I like gingers. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to We See You Dinner. My guest today is one of my favorite people on earth. I say that for all my guests, but I mean him once again today. It's Preacher Lawson in the house. He's born black. He's black, y'all. He's blickety black, and that's black, y'all. Yeah, I'm black.

You know what's funny? We're talking about me being black and me being 33. I look old. No, you don't, bro. Bro, it's okay, man. Don't do this. Do you really think you look old? Bro, everyone thinks I look old. Well, here's the problem with you Bro, it's okay, man. Don't do this. Do you really think you look old? Bro, everyone thinks I look old. Well, here's the problem with you.

You're big and you're in great shape, so big guys are always going to look a little bit older. Skinny little twerpy weirdos like that, they don't have muscle mass, so they look boyish. Maybe. You look like a man. Yeah. By the way, this is a good thing. Okay, good. I've looked 40 since I was 20.

Okay, good. And now I'm finally 40 and people like hold you 40 i'm like yeah finally i caught up when i was in my mid-20s people thought mid-30s i've always had an older face but also because i'm not a skinny little tiny guy tiny guys get away with being young forever you're a big dude yeah it's a blessing though i told a girl i was 45 she goes okay oh no that's pretty bad. Yeah. That's bad, man.

She didn't fight it. She wasn't like, nah, no, you're not. Are you single now? Yeah. I think forever, bro. Really? Bro, I do not know how I'm going to find anyone at all. Why?

You're a good-looking dude. You're successful. What's holding you back? I think I look good. I think I'm successful. I don't have any kids. What's going to hold you back, do you think? That's what I'm saying.

I don't know what it is. You know how some people are like, no, you're going to find someone. I don't think I'll find someone. I'm serious. You think this is it? I really don't think I'm going to find anyone. I used to be really good. It used to be easier dating when I wasn't on TV.

And then now that I have a little bit of money, it's just weird. I don't know where I'm going to meet them. I'm not going to meet them on the road. I'm not going to date a fan. That's weird. Well, right, you're saying, like, it's not organic anymore. They're going to know you. Yeah, it's just weird.

Everybody's attractive now, and so I think that makes, it just makes it complicated. It used to be like everyone's attractive. It's just too much. Do you think everybody's hot, or do you think it's just the Internet makes everybody think that they're hot? I think both. Really's just too much. You think everybody's hot, or you think it's just the internet makes everybody think that they're hot? I think both.

Really? Right? You don't think so? No, I think we live in Los Angeles, and that's hard. You go to New York and L.A. and major big cities, I think, yeah, there's a lot of attractive people trying to get into whatever industry you get into. I was in Hickory, North Carolina last week. That's my sport.

There were some bangers. What were you doing in Hickory? I was doing just a show. Just a show. I was doing a show. Hickory? I was doing just a show. That's such a random place to do a show. Random places, I do really well. You do? In Hickory? These LA, New York areas,

I don't do well in these areas. Is that because of AGT? I just feel like my audience are regular people. Yeah. You know? like they're just just regular. They watch TV or I don't know. Like I just I sell if you're like, what? What's that? Then I'll probably sell. Well, you know, I've never heard that place sold out. What's the

what's the color palette of the room? Well, it's it's mixture. It's America. So it's majority white. Then it's black people, Hispanic people, Asians. But it's nice, though, that if you can touch all the bases, that's the goal, right? Because a lot of times a black comic will get in deep in the game and have only black audiences. And then they'll cater to it and then they barely get a white audience and vice versa. Most white comics don't know how to dip their toes into a black pool. Yeah. Black pool. Not a lot of them.

Oh. We'll be right back. No. But a lot of white comics don't know how to dip their toes into a black pool yeah black pool not a lot of them uh we'll be right back no but a lot of boy comics don't know how to do that and so then it becomes you naturally start to just go to where your audiences have continued to grow what are your audience i'm pretty mixed i would say in west coast it's a lot of latinos mexicans love us yeah yeah and i love mexicans yeah mexican white and some black but like uh i would say because of bad friends and our audiences like organic growth online out here yeah they love that i just i just think that's the funniest i think because here's why i like latinos and why i think they like us um they're they're a race of people that have, to me,

the best sense of humor that take the piss out of themselves, don't mind that shit could be considered offense, whatever you want to say. Yeah. I don't like that word. There's no cancel culture for Latino. Yeah, well, it's just because it's like they know that it's all in jest, and they don't have that moment of like,

should that make me feel a type of way? No, no, no. It's meaningless. It's meaningless. It's comedy. If it was said to you on the street by someone, it's a different world. Yeah. But I think that for some reason,

Latinos, Mexicans specifically, they like us because they feel like we're not, uh, we're not shooting at people. We're just fucking around. Yeah. It's,

it's, it's, it's, I think they understand how fake it is. Yeah. That like, that how fake it is. Yeah. That, like, that's not your heart. And so, you know, because sometimes white audiences will get crazy stiff over stuff that you're like, what are you talking about? And they're getting offended for someone that's not there.

Yeah. You're like, we're not, what are you upset about? Yeah. So, I don't know. I think that's, I think Latino and white dominate. But we have a good black audience, too. But it's just, it's hard to move, you know it's just hard to move out of what is growing for you. So for you with AGT, it's probably a lot of white middle-aged to older people.

It's a lot of married couples. Married couples, yeah. Yeah, that's another reason why I'm single. Yeah, you're not going to get any ass from that. I'm never. I don't know what people – it's a bunch of married people. If they're single, it's always someone's drunk auntie after the show. That's like, that's not, you know, my preference.

But yeah, I mean, yeah, I remember talking to someone else, a black comedian. They were like, do you want more black people to come to your show? And I'm like, I just want people that like me. Yeah, I don't care who it is. I don't care who it is. If it's all white people, which it's not, then it's all white people. That's who likes me, but I can't care who it is. I don't care who it is. If it's all white people, which it's not, then it's all white people. That's who likes me, but I can't change who I am. You're not going to change your material either to fit a certain group of people.

Yeah, exactly. That is funny to go to a little small town USA and kill it, though. We're going to get you a girl from this show. There's got to be a fan out there that wants you. You're 6 what? 6'4". 6'4". I'm lying.

I know, I know. Let it sit. 6'4". 6'4". I'm lying. I know, I know. Let it sit. Okay, 6'4". 6'4". 210? I'm 205. 205, yeah. Yeah, 205.

Gainfully employed, has his own place. Yes. Do you rent or do you own? I have a house in Atlanta. Okay, but just also keep lying. Remember that. I have a house in Florida as well. Yeah. I keep lying. I have a house in Florida as well. Yeah.

I keep forgetting about my house in Malibu. Yeah, I got a few of them. Would you have a house in Atlanta? Yeah. Yeah, why? Why Atlanta? Because I moved to Atlanta, and it was so cheap. I just bought a giant house.

Yeah. And I was like, I'm just going to stay in Atlanta because it's 2020, and everything else is closed, and L.A. is never coming back. And then, you know, I was in Atlanta, and I was like, oh, I think I don't like it here. And so I left. But I just turned to an Airbnb. So it's an Airbnb and somehow I want to go back. So you just got over Atlanta?

Yeah, I don't like Atlanta. To me, Atlanta, I grew up in Memphis. So Atlanta to me is just a really nice version of Memphis. Much nicer. Much nicer. Memphis is tough. It is, yeah. We had a tough time in Memphis. Oh, you. It is, yeah. We had a tough time

in Memphis. Oh, you were in Memphis? When? We had a tough time. How long ago was that? I don't even know. A little over a year. No, almost a year. Almost a year. Wait, tell me why it was tough. Well, the venue we played was not good. We played at Elvis's... They don't have any comedy clubs. I know.

They have the Chuckle Hut, right? Which is, I think that's an all-black room. And it's one of the, whatever. We played a theater. We played a theater on Elvis's, on the Graceland's campus. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't even know, 3,000 seats, something like that. Like 2,500 or something like that.

It was like a TED Talk room. Yeah, it was awful. Awful. Yeah, yeah. And the audience was a little disconnected disconnected for some reason from us and then during the day i was like i want to go get something to eat and the guy was like oh okay what would you like and i said no we'll just take a walk there's like a little sandwich spot up the road and the guy's like we don't like we wouldn't want our performers walking

they they told us not to walk by By the way, we did anyway. And it was wonderful. I had a great meal. It was a nice black-owned business supporting local black-owned businesses. God bless. And also, they treated us great. They were so nice. Everything was smooth and cool.

There was no beef. There was no, like, nothing was going on where I felt, oh, man, maybe we shouldn't be out here. But I think they were projecting that so hard on us that it gets into the minds of the culture. I feel like people then are like, you don't want to go over there.

It was in the middle of the day. There was nothing. I didn't feel, look, I'm from Chicago. I know that there's areas that I definitely probably don't go to. This didn't feel like that. That's the same with Memphis. Like they're just places you don't go.

But this didn't feel that way. It didn't feel that threatening. The neighborhood was a little bit, you know, on the other side. It was a little torn up. There was a lot of boarded-up homes. But I didn't feel at any moment— That means that food was fire. Yeah, it was good.

It was good. It was really good food. It was. And sometimes I feel like I'm in danger. The food is like— Well, I've had that twice where I feel like I might have been in the wrong neighborhood. Like I was in, where were we? We were at, where did I go for a long run?

We were in Raleigh. No, no, no. We were in Durham. We were in Durham. Yeah. And nice area, great place, great crowds. And I went for a long run. And I used to run five to seven miles.

That's crazy, by the way. I love it. Are you doing a 5K next week? I don't do any of that stupid shit. You're not going to catch me with a bunch of goofballs running. No, I like to run by myself with headphones. You know what I mean? That's my clearance time.

I want to clear out. I don't want to be near other people. Like get the runners high? I just don't. Yeah, and I don't want to like, I don't like to, I don't want to, you have to go this path. I just run until I'm done running. I clock it on my phone. I pick out the path usually ahead of time.

I go, I'll go around this thing and come back and I'll do the math on it. And it'll say, you know, four and a half, five miles. So that's how I do it. And then I just kind of guess. Well, I ran outside of Durham and I kept running. I was about three and a half miles away from where we were. And I made a right turn and I was by a cemetery. And then it started to it started to

hit me that I was like I don't know if I should be over here I it's like slowly creeped in I was like I should run back yeah I'm looking yeah I'm going backwards looking over my look at my own back I just felt uh I you know like I wasn't supposed to be there. But Memphis just wasn't a weird city for us. We enjoyed it, but it was just unusual, man. I don't know how to explain it. Yeah, super unusual. Gunshots? Heard a couple of claps?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I remember being in what I thought was a nice area and then seeing a drive-by. And I was like, is this happening right now? As a kid? It's crazy. Yeah, as a kid. How many years did you live there in Memphis? When I was nine, is this happening right now? As a kid? It's crazy. Yeah, as a kid. How many years did you live there in Memphis? When I was nine, I moved down there.

When I was 13, I went back to Oregon. And I came back when I was 14, so 15, 16, I moved to Bristol. Came back when I was 17, 18, 19. And you went to Oregon? Yeah, I was born in Oregon. Really? Yeah, I'm really not from anywhere. I just picked Memphis because that's most of my adolescence. Are you a military kid or something?

No, my mom, she just moved when she got uncomfortable, I think. Oh, good. Yeah. Oregon to Atlanta, or Oregon to Memphis, I mean. Yeah, yeah. It's a big jump. It is. I think we moved to Memphis because there was more black people.

Yeah. Well, there's significantly more than Oregon. There's more. I think there's seven or eight black people in Oregon. We have a count on them. Can we get that counter pulled up, please? Yeah, I left, so there's probably six or seven. Right, right.

Portland or outside of it? That's crazy. It was outside. It was in Newburgh. That's like even more white. I was the only black person at my school. How did your mother end up there? My mom, she was born in Rosary, some part of California.

But as a family, they moved to Sherwood. I remember my grandma has like a, she has a newspaper because they were in the newspaper because it was the first black family to be in Sherwood, Oregon. Really? They were in the newspaper. We got one! Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's insane.

So they moved to Sherwood, Oregon, and then, you know, I just was born there. But, you know, we moved around a lot. Do you know your old man? Do you talk to him? My dad? Yeah. No, I don't know what he looks like so they she got pregnant moved to oregon without him i think she got pregnant outside of oregon i think she got pregnant outside because he's in the military right so so you were kind of a military kid whether you know it or not yeah i guess i was could you apply for usAA and still get it? I don't know, my dad, but I do know he served. I know, right?

Yeah. I didn't think about that. He knows who I am. Do you have no communication with him? I don't know what he looks like. I have no, I've never spoken. Do you have any desire to? No, it's too late now.

Yeah, see. I did when I was younger. I really wanted to when I was younger. And then I got to around, even when I first got on America's Got Talent, I was like, oh, he's going to, because this is such a major show, I was like, he's going to see it. Which I'm sure he knows my name is Preacher. So unless he's dead, he knows I exist and is too embarrassed to talk.

Which he, I get it. What's the point? What are you going to tell me? What are you going to teach me? It's too late now. What if he just says, I'm proud of you, and that's it. What if he just wants to connect and say, I'm proud of you? Get out my face with that, bro. Are you kidding me? My fans are proud of me. Get out of here, man. There's nothing he can tell me.

I understand. I feel that. Well, there is a thing that happens. Do you know your dad? Well, yes, I do know my father, but my dad wasn't in my life as a young person. My dad was in prison, in and out of prison when I was a kid. Oh, really? Yeah.

Can I ask for what? Yeah, drugs, minor offenses. I mean, he just collected them. He was an addict, so when you're an addict, you kind of collect offenses. Yeah. That's Pokemon for addicts is jail time. Collect them all. So he kind of would continue to get in trouble with the law until he got himself together,

but that was the formidable years of my life. He wasn't there. So we don't have that relationship where now we're just two men. Yeah. Which I think we understand. You know, we don't speak much, but we're just two men. Yeah. Which I think we understand. You know, we don't speak much, but we're just two men. So I get what you're saying where it's like, what would we talk about now?

Yeah. We don't quite know each other. You think that affects, well, how did that affect you? Well, I'm a famous comedian, so it worked out a little bit. Yeah, yeah. No, no. I think it just, well, it did a lot to me as a kid. You know, it makes you feel like you probably felt like,

why doesn't this dude want to know me? Yeah, yeah. And then you get older and you realize everybody has issues. Everybody's jacked up. Including us. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he was going through shit. And so, like, I don't excuse it, but I get it.

You understand it, yeah. I do understand it, yeah. I just think it's, you get older and I'm 40 now. So it's like, I don't have the like, my daddy didn't want me. Also, I had a guy that married me. You ever hear someone like complain about that? Like so in your age? Yeah, that's crazy.

Talk about their parents. It's like, bro, it's too late. Yeah, it's late. Like, what are you doing about it? Yeah, they're gone soon, by the way. So get over it. Also, I had a stepfather who raised me who was a phenomenal man. Who was like a great man to my mom and did, you know, change my family's life.

Yeah. So I feel so blessed in that regard that I don't really harbor any hate or resentment for the other thing because it's like I got the best version of this. Yeah. I had another dude come along who stepped up and was a man. Yeah. Who married a woman with a fucking kid. And I think about that. All my friends that are dating women with young children from another relationship,

it's a big point of contention. They're like, I don't know, she has a kid. Bobby's single, and he says that. He's like, oh, this one girl I was talking to had a kid. And you don't realize how big of an impact you could really have on a child. So I think it's a big deal to take the reins of somebody else's child. You got to be a real fucking man about that.

That's a man move. I think that I'm there now where I'm like, oh, she can have a kid. That's how long I've been single. Well, also, you're grown enough and smart enough where the love of this person would help you come to terms with the fact that it's like, well, if I love this person, I could probably support and love this thing, too. Why not? And honestly, when a girl has a dog, I feel the same way. Yeah. Well, it's kind of one of the same children and dogs.

Yeah, yeah. Same shit. Yeah. You don't have any animals? No, you travel too much. No, no, no. I travel, yeah, too much. Get yourself a dog, dude.

Bro, I can't. A dog will do something to your heart. But then I'll have to take it with me. Or you have a friend watch it. There's always someone willing to watch a dog. I said this to all of our friends. That's true. When someone's like, I don't have time for a dog, someone will watch the dog.

Almost no one goes, I don't know why I said that. They'll watch the dog. Leave it with this kid. We put everything on him. He'll watch it. He'll do anything. He. We put everything on him. He'll watch it. He'll do anything. He's young. He's 24.

He'll do anything. 24, bro. Yeah, it's disgusting. That's crazy. I know. You're only two years older than this guy. Yeah, I'm only two years. So the old man wasn't there.

You moved around. Then you went to Atlanta. And after Atlanta, after the pandemic, you told me off air that you started boozing hard. Oh, before Atlanta, I was an alcoholic. Oh, you were? Oh, my gosh. boozing hard. Oh, before Atlanta, I was an alcoholic. Oh, you were? Oh, my gosh. I love alcohol. Me too.

I love it. Like it was more than a romance. Yeah, I'm like, I can't think of too many things I like more than alcohol. I just love drinking, bro. Me too. Yeah, it's the best. So that's why I had to stop. You had to quit.

Because I was like, this is great. Yeah, it's too good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So how long have you been off the sauce? A couple years. Do you go to the, are you in the program now

or are you just, you just? No, no, I feel like anything, you know, I feel like anything I want to do, I have control.

That's the only thing, that's the same with alcohol. I feel like, I feel like I can drink as much as possible. I can have like 30 shots. Yeah. And be fine.

Yeah. Which is the problem because I'm not fine. Right. Because I have 30 shots and I'm like I can drink as much as possible. I can have, like, 30 shots and be fine, which is the problem because I'm not fine. Because I have 30 shots, and I'm like, give me the keys. I'm good, baby. You know, I wouldn't do it. But I just felt like there was no issue. Like, I remembered everything that happened. People would be like, oh, I blacked out. Not me.

At 11.35, I was, you know, I just remember everything. So I never thought that was an issue. And then one time I blacked out. And that's when I was like, oh, I don't like that. Feeling like you didn't know what happened at all. Yeah. I remember it was actually another comedian's wedding. And there was a bunch of comedians.

Everyone went up and performed. I was drunk. So I was saying whatever. And then I said, I did a joke. Then I repeated the joke. And I was so drunk, I was saying whatever. And then I said, I did a joke, then I repeated the joke, and I was so drunk, I was like, oh, I'm repeating the joke right now. But I'm going to finish it, since I already started. And then I got off stage

and everyone was like, alright, we're going to drink afterwards. I was like, cool, I'm going to take a nap. And then when I woke up from the nap, I was in the Airbnb. And I was like, wait a second, maybe I just forgot. And then I don't get hangovers. So when I woke up, I felt felt fine and then what are you a superhero? I don't know bro but I remember talking to the you know people the comedians in the Airbnb with me and then I was like hey how you doing they're

like how you doing yeah and I was like what are you talking I'm fine they're like are you fine yeah so that was the. Then they just started telling me all the things I did, and I was like, all right, that was stupid. So that was it. That was like the beginning of the end. Yeah, that was pretty much it. That was pretty much it. Because I never used to, I felt like I had this crazy tolerance, and I felt my tolerance going. Like I didn't have that tolerance anymore.

Sure. So I didn't like that. And then I just, and then I don't like, I didn't like the fact how much I like drinking. Yeah. I get that. I'm thinking about one right now. Yeah. No.

It's so funny because I didn't drink in two years, but I was like, I came in here and I was like. No, no, no, no, no. Stay away. I was like, maybe. It is, look, there's a delicate dance with drinking where like, I've always been, everyone in my family likes to drink. It's just like a cultural thing, you know?

And I've been so used to it for so long that now I've learned as we've gotten older, it doesn't metabolize the same in your body anymore. And you just naturally learn to slow down and temper it. Like, I have a night, like, Saturday night after the second show shows we went out with some friends and and had some drinks and had fun and you just pay for it a little bit harder than than i used to so now i just try to section it out so i'm not going to the club and just having a drink because i'm there or getting on stage just having one because i'm there afterwards now i've just learned to be like i'll take my time and do it when i know when it's appropriate but i think more and more people are going towards putting it away yeah Yeah. It's interesting.

Yeah. I noticed I was in the worst shape of my life when I was drinking too. Physically? Physically. What about mentally? Do you feel like your mind's clear? Physically, mentally, I think that drinking just made me, I was the least happiest I've been. But I don't know.

I just think I was, but I would never, I think it was also because I was drinking, then I injured myself. You know when you injure yourself, you can't work out, so you kind of like just... What did you do? Jiu-jitsu. I just, someone got a slap tear in my left shoulder. God, everyone doing jiu-jitsu now.

Yeah, you don't do jiu-jitsu? No. It's the best, man. No, I don't do jiu-jitsu. I do Hamas jiu-jitsu, which is an alternative form. We'll be right back. No, it's okay. Hamas jiu-jitsu. do hamas jitsu which is a alternative form we'll be right back no it's okay it's okay it's okay it was really bad um no i don't do jujitsu i don't i i um i respect um all my friends that do i'm glad people like it um i have no i don't like touching people

that much yeah i don't want to touch i don't like touchy touch yeah yeah i'm just not into like grappling contact and wrestling it's pretty weird in the beginning yeah i mean especially when like someone starts off yeah i don't like that coming to the guard i don't like that and it's not and it's not like a homophobic thing i'm not that has nothing to do with it i just don't like touchy feeling. Like any sport I play is no touchy, no touchy, no touchy. Like I even play basketball. I love basketball, golf, baseball, all that stuff. I played when I was a kid. Football was the only one I started to like. And then I was like, I don't want to get hit. I don't like getting hit.

Getting hit hurts a lot. Yeah. I got over it. So I was like, no thanks. So yeah, I just, I never got into it the way that a lot of my friends do. One of my, you know, closest friends from childhood, he's obsessed and he's gotten injured before. Still, doesn't, he still does it. I just think, isn't that the, isn't that the kickoff to be like, maybe I shouldn't do this anymore if I'm getting hurt? Well, I haven't done it really in a long time. You'll never go back? I, I will go back. I think part of the reason I stopped doing Jiu-Jitsu is because of my hair, which is crazy. But I don't like other people's sweat getting in my hair. And it stinks. And I've got to wash it.

I have dreads. It's just too much. So I haven't done Jiu-Jitsu in a very long time. I've done Muay Thai or boxing. That's good. You can't put your hair in something? Yeah, but they still like... It's still nasty. Yeah, it's kind of nasty. That's the other thing. You put your hair in something? Yeah, but they still... It's still nasty. Yeah, it's kind of nasty. That's the other thing. You're sweating

and rolling around with someone a lot. Other people sweat. Maybe it's a germaphobic thing for me. It's like... I remember as a kid when they talked about athlete's foot or stuff from the wrestling mats. Even that, I was like, I don't want a wart. Are you a germaphobe?

Probably, yeah. I used to be a super germaphobe. The first time I ever sat on a toilet bare booty, I was like, I don't want to. I don't want like a warped. Are you like a germaphobe? Probably, yeah. I used to be a super germaphobe. The first time I ever sat on a toilet bare booty, I was 25. I'm talking about my house. In your own home? In my own home, I put toilet paper down. What? I'm dead serious. I was such a germaphobe.

Wait, but it's your, no one else is going in there? No, no, no, no, no. I still share, you know, the house with other people. With your family? I don't care. Okay, not care, man. The first time I was 25 years old, the first time I ever put my bare... That's how much of a germaphobe I was. And the only reason I did that is because I was living with my girlfriend at the time. And then I accidentally walked in on her using the bathroom and she was bare booty. And I was like, well, I might as well lick the toilet. And so then I was like, all right, that doesn't matter.

So it didn't matter. I'm not weirded out like that. That doesn't freak me out. But, like, I don't know, other people's bodily sweat stuff for some reason, that I don't like. That I couldn't do. The toilet thing wouldn't bother me at all. I mean, well, one time I was sick as a dog, and I had to like that. I couldn't do the toilet thing. Wouldn't bother me at all. I mean, well, one time I was sick as a dog and I had to,

I had to sit down on a toilet seat on the airplane and I didn't put anything down or wipe it. And I remember sitting on an airplane toilet seat thinking, you didn't wipe it. I didn't bro. I didn't have time. I had, it was, it was, it was ready to rock. I didn't have a choice. I was so sick. And I sat down and I thought, well, I guess this is it. Now this can't bother me ever again. If I've done this, it's over. Because most of the time, even if I had to.

What's going to happen? Who's died from the booty touching the toilet, bro? There was a guy. What was that guy in Pennsylvania that died from the? No, I'm kidding. This never happened. That's insane. It's insane. Hey, so now so now well let me say this so then you went you went

from there and then drank a lot gave it up came back to la and now you're gonna stay here forever you think or you're gonna move no i mean i don't know maybe like another year i'm gonna go on some auditions and try to be you know on some tv or movies yeah that'd be cool instead of what you want to take a break from stand-up or you want to keep doing it and just do TV as well? You know, it's funny, man. I love stand-up. I've been doing it 15 years and I love stand-up. And I remember in the beginning

I was like, man, I could never... I don't understand how people stop doing stand-up. The more you do it, you're like, well, alright. I get it. Yeah, I absolutely get it. Well, because I've been doing it probably the same time maybe 16 or 17 years

but like yeah man it gets it it's exhausting well yeah I don't think people understand it

they're like oh you get up there you do your little jokes it's the easiest job yeah there's so much to it and the travel is a lot it's so heavy it's really

for me it's the that's a huge the biggest part for me is the travel yeah and then it's like trying to build up material after you just had you know yeah the travel is too much for me i mean i i uh it's not too much but it's just it's heavy yeah and you just put out an hour didn't you yeah i put out an hour i filmed it um august i dropped it about a month ago where'd you put it on youtube on youtube and where'd you film it?

I filmed it at the Burbank Comedy Theater. No, Burbank, just the Colony Theater. Here in L.A.? Yeah. But I thought you said L.A. crowds and you, it's not the thing. You did it anyway, huh? Yeah, I did, because I just threw it together. Okay.

This was not planned out. You were like, this is just coming together on its own? I mean, my first special, I dropped in 2019, and I wanted to film my second one two years later, 2021. But 2020 was like, no, we're not going to. And then 2021, I was kind of going back on the road, and I was like, hey, I want to film it. And then I was hosting America's Got Talent in Vegas.

And then I just, that was for like, you know, I just wanted to get it over with. I was just like, I'll film it. So I just did it. Right. Just to knock it out. Yeah, just knock it out. I have a really hard time believing, I keep thinking about it, that you're not, you don't have success with women.

I don't. Is it because you just don't want to settle down? Because there's no chance girls aren't throwing themselves at you. I think that women, you know, throw themselves at me. But I think women throw themselves at everyone. I think that's like— No, no, no, no. But I feel like—hold on.

I feel like there's men—first off, I don't get hit on as much as the average woman, right? Sure. But why is the average woman single? Because who's hitting on them? Losers? What do you say? I don't know. I think it's because you might be picky or not want to settle down.

I don't think I'm that picky, though. Really? I really don't think I'm that picky. What, you have any requirements? I mean, this is the part where people don't say I'm picky. I want her to be vegan. She needs to be vegan. Vegan.

What percent of the United States are vegan, I wonder? It doesn't even matter because the percentage of vegans's like 83% women. Yeah, it's all women. Yeah, it's always like, I'm the only guy that's vegan. But you know, I just, funny and A funny vegan? Okay.

Good luck, young man. I'm a funny vegan! Yeah. You're the only funny vegan. That's not true. No, but yeah yeah, you can meet. I mean, like, look, we have friends that are vegan. Ian Edwards is vegan. He is vegan, yeah. But I don't think he exclusively dates women that are vegan.

So you can't go outside of that? You would refuse to date a woman that isn't vegan? No, I wouldn't. I wouldn't. You don't do it? Wow. No, I don't feel like, for me, it's like, no, I could be friends with someone. Most of my friends aren't vegan.

Sure. I mean, then I would have no friends. But what if you fell in love with a girl, but she was a meat eater? It still would be a deal breaker to you? How would I fall in love with her if she's meat? Wow. Wow. You figured it out.

That's what I'm saying. Well, I mean, I don't know. You're not going to have someone that doesn't have flaws. That could be one of the flaws. You're like, well, I wish she didn't, but I just like her so much. To me, it's not like that. Being vegan, I feel like it's not that. I mean, it is isolating when you think of it. It's not that isolated, I don't think.

I don't think that's big of a jump. I mean, it's just not animal products. Yeah. You know? No, I get it. But I did think, I was like, maybe would I date a vegetarian? Would I date a girl that's only vegan around me? What about pescatarian? See, I get it. But I did think, I was like, maybe would I date a vegetarian? Would I date a girl that's only vegan around me? I thought about it.

What about pescatarian? See, I'm only dating a vegan. Like, I wouldn't date. Wow. There was some girl I was talking to, and she was a famous person. And she wasn't vegan. And I was like, maybe I don't care that much. Oh, right.

Yeah. But I do. You do? There was no rapport. I just liked her because she was attractive. Right. That's how most things start. Yeah.

And then you go, well, she eats meat, whatever, I don't like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Her feet are big, but it is what it is. You have to just write some of these things off. Maybe you are too picky. Meeting just as well. If any vegan fans. But I don't think I'm that picky besides the veganism.

That's a huge picky thing. That's big. I mean, but most women, they'll just do it. If they like me. I'm telling you, bro think I'm that picky besides the veganism. That's a huge picky thing. That's big. I mean, but most women are just, they'll just do it. If they like me. I'm telling you, bro. I'm telling you. You've switched.

You've switched some girls over from media. Oh my gosh, yes. They'll do it. Women are really like accommodating. Men aren't. Women are like,

all right, whatever, make you happy. That's why women lie all the time because they're just trying to make you happy. That's true. You know, so that's why I feel like with vegan,

I don't think it's that big of an asterisk. Like, I feel like, you know, most of them are going to be like, all right, I'll do it. Or I'll try it. But then they'll sneak meat behind your back. That's fine. They're cheating on you with meat when you're not around. They can cheat on me regular.

I don't care. As long as I don't know. I feel like people that cheat and then they say something, you're a horrible human being. That's so funny. So as long as you don't know, you're like, you can do whatever you want. If you drop a burger in the back of the restaurant and you give it to me,

don't tell me you dropped it. I'm not going to know. I'm going to eat the sandwich and be happy. Ignorance is bliss. I don't want to know. We've got to have a vegan fan out there that's going to date you. We have to link this up. There's no way this can't work. 9.7 million vegans and 9 million of them.

9.7 million? 9 million of them are women. There's got to be. It's got to be. 0.7 are men. And honestly, I think of all places

you're going to meet a vegan would be here in LA. I messaged two girls. I messaged two girls. I DM'd them like within a week. Within a week.

Last week. Yeah. And they were vegan. And they just did not, they just left me on read. What? That's crazy. What is it about you? Do you have an old murder charge that I should know about?

I don't know, man. I don't get it. I don't know, man. Maybe just, people just don't, I don't know what it is. Maybe they're intimidated by you. Maybe they're, no, I think they're just, maybe they're dating someone else. Oh, could be. They could be doing that. Yeah. Maybe they're dating someone else. They could be doing that.

They could be dating someone else. Tell me this. This is because of my ignorance. You supplement protein from being a vegan through plant protein. You take a lot of plant protein. No, I do the same thing I was doing before. I took protein when I was on an omnivore diet. I do the same thing when I'm vegan. I don't do anything different. You don't do anything different? I don't do anything diet. I do the same thing when I'm vegan. I don't do anything different. You don't do anything different?

I don't do anything different. Wow. It's the same thing. After my workout, when I was eating meat, I would have a whole turkey. I would eat the whole turkey with hot sauce, which is crazy racist. But I would just have every lunch.

That's what you got to do, man. I would have a chicken or a turkey for lunch. And then I would just put a little hot sauce and I would eat it. And then I would work out. And after my workout, I'd take a protein shake. But I still do that. I don't have the turkey or the chicken, but after my workout, I have a protein shake. And it's still the same.

Nothing changed for you. Nothing changed. I've had friends that have been vegan and vegetarian. I've done vegetarian. I can't do vegan, but I've done vegetarian a few times, and I like it. How do you feel? It's okay. I just miss the meat. I just miss it. I don't know what it is. I can't do vegan, but I've done vegetarian a few times, and I like it, but it's okay. I just miss the meat. I just miss it. I don't know what it is. I can't get away from it.

Yeah, they got lab meat coming out. I'm ready for that. Yeah, I don't know, man. That sounds like cancer, my good friend. You're crazy. The regular meat is the cancer. Yeah, but at least it's organic cancer. I'll take the OG cancer. Lab meat is going to be the best, purest form.

You know, they just make it in the lab, man. It's perfect. Well, then they're going to make you a lab girlfriend, lab meals. That's another thing I'm waiting on. I'm just going to wait till the AI bot comes out. Well, they already have sex robots now. You just need to. Do they?

Oh, yeah, they do. On Amazon or what? Yeah, he has one. You have a sex robot? No, he doesn't. Okay. We almost bought one on the other show, but I think we looked into one for fun. It was like $12,000 or something.

Yeah, they're like $20,000. Oh, they're $12,000. Yeah, they're expensive. That's pretty lonely, man. Well, if it makes that person happy and not shoot up a mall, then let them have that girlfriend. You know, let them have the dummy in their house. Whatever saves them from attacking society. You think that's what it is?

Every time someone shoots up a place, it's because they're deprived of something yeah but you don't need sex like sex is not a thing like that's a you don't need it i think i think yes you absolutely do there's no evidence well you need if you don't have if you don't have water you die if you don't have food you die if you don't have sex you become a better thinker school shooter become more focused you become a school shooter you don't have sex, you become a better thinker. A school shooter. You become more focused. You become a school shooter. No, you don't, man. Wait, there is a lot of research that shows that human touch actually does keep people alive longer. Absolutely,

but friendship and stuff, you don't need sex. No, but also, intimate touch is human instinct. I think we will die without any form of human touch. It's got to be up there somewhere. Okay, Google it. What does it say? But if you look at there is scientific research that talks about

ejaculating or sexual pleasure does keep, it's healthy for your mind. Your mind can deteriorate without sexual pleasure. I heard the opposite. How could that be?

Our entire existence is predicated upon procreation. But yeah, but if you're creating, maybe, but if you're not, there's no necessity. It doesn't know the difference if you're creating or not.

You're shooting. Once you're shooting, your brain thinks it's happening. It doesn't. Something else they say happens chemically when a physical baby is born. I'm pretty sure. I know this sounds. You need sex. I'm pretty sure.

I don't think you need it, though. Well, you need something. You need physical touch. You need emotional connection. You need physical touch. I think you need. We're social creatures. We need to be around people.

We need to be. I think you got to come. I think you got to we're social creatures. We need to be around people. We need to be, you need to converse. I think you got to come. I think you got to come. We'll be right back with You Got to Come. In here, we pour whiskey. Hey, sports fans, here to tell you about PrizePix. What is PrizePix? You may be asking yourself. PrizePix is America's number one fantasy sports app with more than 5 million members.

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Ginger. I like gingers. What does it say? There's got to be something. A lot of it is just like, because there's like positives and negatives to everything, but it's like sex is just great at boosting like serotonin, reducing heart disease. Heart disease. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Keeps you alive. No.

These things keep you alive. Bro, it's like sex is like weed or something. No, it's not. It feels good right then. Sex feels good with weed. I know that. It feels great with weed. It feels, but weed. I know that. It feels great with weed. It feels, but after you're done, you're like, man.

Well, let me tell you something. Get out. This I don't need sex thing is not helping your dating life. I can tell you that. I never said that. That is not going to be promotional. Look, I never said I don't need. I just say it's not necessary.

Do you smoke weed? Yeah, I smoke. Well, I mean, sometimes. The booze is away, so did the weed come into play then? I was smoking weed before I started. I started drinking in 2020. I started smoking weed in 2016. Okay.

But I just tried it out in 2016, 2017, and I was running. You were hot with it. So in 2018, 2019, if you said hi to me, I was. Yeah. It was a lot, bro. I used to smoke. But now I don't. When I stopped drinking, I was like, I think I should stop doing anything I feel like is bad.

In your body. Yeah, just anything that I feel like was bad. Well, as a vegan, that's probably part of your approach, right, is that you want it to be clean. I just try to be healthy. Yeah, yeah. But I think weed is fine. Same with alcohol. I think alcohol is fine in moderation.

But for me, having having one drink is stupid. I'm like, I'm just not going to drink at all. I want 17 drinks. Yeah, well, then you need to stop. That's why, yeah. Would you ever find yourself in a program or no? You have no interest in that? If I needed it, I felt like, but I don't feel like I need it.

You don't need the support from others, yeah. No, I just feel like I'll stop. Okay. I feel like I can control anything, which that's why I stopped. Because I was like, can I control? This is why I stopped drinking. I was, I drank and then there was a lady who I didn't know. She was like, oh, I seen you at the party yesterday and you were drunk.

And I was like, yeah, everybody was drunk. They were at a party. You were drunk. And I was like, no, no, no. Everybody, they were like, no, you know, it's okay. Do you ever thought about going to like AA or something? I was like, why would I go to AA? they're like, no, you know, it's okay do you ever thought about going to like AA or something? I was like, why would I go to AA? They're like, you ever thought about talking to somebody?

And then that scared me. And then I was like, alright well, I just stopped. Sometimes I'll find myself scrolling through TikTok and I'll see like the algorithm, it'll be like some dude talking about how like he needed to stop drinking and then three videos later it'll be the same, another one and I'm like what is TikTok doing?

Do I? Does TikTok know what I did on Saturday night? You're like, man, am I tripping right now? Yeah, what is going on? That's crazy, man. Sometimes it'll sneak into your algorithm. That's what it does with videos of, it's crazy. What is it? It'll have videos or apps of just, it'll have sex apps.

Oh. It won't have even relationship apps. Like, I slept with this many people. I'm like, why is this popping up? Well, it's have like sex apps. You know, it won't have like even relationship apps. Like I slept with this many people. I'm like, why is this popping up? Well, it's listening to us now, so it's going to pick up all this stuff. Oh, yeah, yeah. For the next couple of days,

we're going to be getting a lot of like AA and sex-related posts. Yeah, yeah. That's the scariest thing. I get a lot of single commercials on my TikTok, which is wild. Are you on all the apps, all the dating apps? I'm on zero apps why

because i i'm not gonna get rejected by some dishwasher at walgreens bro i got that's i don't only a couple times i could do that but i mean honestly i'll get rejected and i'll be like come on bro do they have dishwashers at walgreens now no no are they serving food no i just made it up no i know you mean you don't want to be you don't want to go through the rejection but No, I know what you mean. You don't want to go through the rejection, but is there a vegan dating app? Yeah, there is. There's not enough vegans.

Right, but there's like 30 people on the app. Yeah, I'll see all the three people. I'm like, man. You cycled through all the choices. No one is available. What's the name of the vegan app? I don't even like, I don't know. It's called like Vegadate or something. I don't know.

Vegally? Vegally? Vegally, that's what it is. That's so embarrassing. Maybe it's better now. I haven't used it. This is the problem with veganism. You guysily? Veggily? Veggily. That's what it is. That's so embarrassing. Maybe it's better now. I haven't used it. This is the problem with veganism.

You guys need to make it cool. It is cool. No, it's not. It's the most uncool shit. It's kind of cool, man. No, it's not. You got to cool it up. How do you cool it up?

Veggily. You got to cool it up. You got to cool it up. Come on, man. Get some more black influence in there to cool it up somehow. That's what I'm saying. We already got that, man. You go We already, we got that, man.

You go to Atlanta, we got, um. I know there's a lot of, there's way more black vegans now. Yeah. But still. There's more black vegans than any other race. Then infuse that into the culture of veganism. Because every fucking vegan restaurant you go to, you're like, look at this dump, this weirdo dump of a bunch of fucking gem touchers.

I, it feels so lame. You have to cool it up of fucking gem touchers. It feels so lame. You have to cool it up somehow. Gem touchers is wild. Yeah, and it sounds racist. You fucking gem toucher. Look at this guy. He looks like a gem grabber. No, it just feels like there's nothing cool about it.

And that, I think, doesn't help. People just don't like vegans. That's what it is. Is that true? Bro, people do not like vegans. You guys keep saying that, so then we keep going, I guess we don't like you. No, no. Because I like you. I like you. You're gaslighting me, people do not like you. You guys keep saying that, so then we keep going, I guess we don't like you. No, no.

Don't try to gaslight me. Because I like you. I like you. You gaslight me, man. I like you. Yeah, but do you like all vegans? I haven't ever met a vegan where I go, I don't like them because they're vegan. I might not like them because they suck, but people suck.

But I feel like that with anything. Yes. Anybody a level 10 is annoying. Right, but it just so happens that oftentimes— No, it's not. I am not a level 10 vegan. You're not. I'm a 7.

You're a rarity. Yeah, oh, get out of here, bro. I go to those gem touchers down the road. I have a two-minute conversation when I'm gem touchers. I'm pissed off. No, you know what it is? I think because it's such an alternative lifestyle to what most average people do, some people want to let you know that they are, prove that they are, try to influence you to be. You're not that, but that comes with the territory.

Because you're defending it. I think a lot of vegans are like new Christians, right? Right. You know, like when someone first finds you they're like oh you gotta i'm trying to get you to heaven you gotta see the light and after a while they're like all right well i'm going to heaven if you want to go to hell you know that's how vegans feel i'd rather that but if but if vegans at the beginning just accepted the fact that it's like well you may not like it i don't care i like it well you you have to

understand from a vegan when they first when i first became a vegan, I was so militant. Like, I lost so many fans and friends. I was just like, you don't see the light? Look what's happening to the animal? You know, so I just, you know, when you first become a vegan, you kind of want to show everyone. And, you know, people are like, I don't care. You forgot what it was like when you weren't vegan. Because when I wasn't vegan and people would try to convince me to be vegan, I would be like i'm i like women so why would i be a vegan i just thought it was

gay i was like i i thought you know i'm not trying to have any soy and grow any breast or something i just you know and what was the flip who flipped you oh man that's that pause so i think that it was it was more so before i had a dog people like would you eat a dog and i was like yeah if it was more so before I had a dog, people were like, would you eat a dog? And I was like, yeah. If it was good enough. Yeah, I'll try it out if I'm in a different country. I'm serious. I'd eat a human with the right seasoning. Right.

And then I got a dog, and I was like, oh, that's kind of weird. And then I found out pigs were smarter than dogs, and I was like, that's kind of weird. And then I just tried it out, and my poop's great. And I was like, I'm going to just keep trying this out. I never thought I'd be vegan. I never thought I'd be vegan. Now I'm stuck. But now you're stuck. I'm stuck, great. And I was like, I'm going to just keep trying this out. I never thought I'd be vegan. I never thought I'd be vegan. But you've— Now I'm stuck.

But now you're stuck. I'm stuck, man. Well, you'll die later, which may not be a good thing. That's the other thing. I drink and eat meat because I'm like, dude, if I'm out by, you know, 70, maybe I want to leave. You see people in their 90s that are like, I'm miserable. All my friends are dead. It's like the saddest existence.

That guy on the internet was like 104 and they're like, take me, please. I saw a guy, there was a war vet. We showed a video, there was a veteran who was 102 or something like that, and he kept saying, I think God forgot about me.

He kept saying that. It was sad. No, I... They said we're going to live to like 115 now. We will not. I will not. No fucking way. I don't think...

The stress of what we do for a living will inevitably make us die earlier. I was thinking that. I was like, I think I'm going to die pretty early.

Not like super early, but like maybe like 70. Before you should. Yeah, before I should. Before you... You're probably going to die earlier than you would have if you did something else. But what an unrewarding life that would have been if you weren't able to display your talent. You're too talented to not do what you do.

This is the best job ever. Yeah. It's awesome. Yeah, I couldn't be happier about it. We just complained about it 10 minutes ago. I know we were complaining about it, and we're always going to complain. Because that's how life is. Because I do think people don't understand that it does take a toll on you mentally and physically to have to like run

around the country and work out stuff and and that is a big it's a big to do in your brain it's just most people's issue is is money so if you make money you can't complain right which is bullshit it's stupid yeah that's silly so it's like it doesn't once you it doesn't make your first off if i gave you money a person that doesn't make money um also there was a point in time where we didn't make money most of your career yeah most of the time you this is a new thing yeah but i think in their brain they're like if i had this amount of money my life would be fixed and it's like bro, like the finish line is always moving. So I think that's why if you complain and you make more money than whoever is listening, they can't see that point of view. Right, because it's like your life is inherently in their eyes going to be better because of the scale of wealth.

But the cliches have always become so much more glaringly true the older I get that I know a lot of people who make a lot of money. A lot of money. And that didn't contribute to any of their peace and happiness. In fact, their peace and happiness that I found as I've gotten older comes from things like becoming a vegan, putting away booze, or starting a family, or investing in charity. Or, like, they found something in their life that made them happy. And that was the, and by the way, some of the financials led them to be able to do that. Yeah, absolutely. But the money had almost nothing to do with it, truly.

They could have done it if they didn't have money. Yeah. They just didn't, you don't think you can. But people that make money commit suicide at a higher rate than people. Oh, yeah. Yeah, because money is pressure and stress. Exactly. Right.

I found that, like, the thing that I think we started doing more or that I want to get more into as my career has grown, and it's not money-based. It's just I think more charity is the best balance. Like, I like the idea of, you know, like, we have a lot of fan merch or fan art. Yeah. And I thought, well, we should sign this and sell it and auction it for charity. Yeah. like the idea of you know like we have a lot of fan merch or fan art yeah and i thought well we should sign this and sell it and auction it for charity yeah and if you can gain that kind of happiness through that to me then it all feels like oh then it's all worth it you know what i mean i think that feels more organically that makes me happier than selling out a fucking theater

or getting a special because those things just come from work this other thing it's like free happiness almost yeah like what i've acquired i'm able to help that is that to me is where i'm starting to find more happiness it's weird because now it's like it feels like people are trying to be selfish like they're taught to be like selfish it's about me you're me yeah all these like guys online that are like if you're not making 800 grand a year you're a piece of shit have you seen that fucking guy? What's that? Grant Cardone?

Do you know who that is? Is that his name? Oh, my God. But he does this thing where it's like, if you're not having four or five streams of income, you're a loser. It's like, what the fuck are you talking about? There's no chance chasing that dragon. Oh, he is? Yeah.

What did he get caught for? He got in trouble for what? Money laundering, probably? Something. Yeah, something. He did did he get caught for? He got in trouble for what? Money laundering, probably? Something. Yeah, something. He did something. But you're right. He was in a lot of trouble. People are given this false narrative that you should be doing more, and if you're not, you're a loser.

Yeah. It's bullshit. It's like you don't have to do anything. No. You don't have to do anything. You should—I mean, physical and mental maintenance for your body is like—you should be doing that. That's the number one thing you should be doing. That's the number one thing you should i mean physical and mental maintenance for your body is like you should be doing that that's the number one thing that's the number one thing you're doing but like going out your way but that's what i was doing with like alcohol is like i never drink alcohol because i was like i'm feeling sad and i want to feel better right me neither i just drank because i was like

i like drinking it's fun it's fun yeah i do enjoy it makes me it loosens me up i i when i get around people i'm like how fast can i leave seriously bro if i'm around a bunch around people, I'm like, how fast can I leave? Seriously, bro. If I'm around a bunch of comedians, I'm like, man, this is what an ex it at. That's how I feel. But when I drank, I'm like, what up, baby? What's up? I just felt good. And so that wasn't... I just... It had to go.

Did you ever perform on television or anything taped where you were drunk? Were you drunk all the time? Okay. I don't think I've ever been drunk on TV, but I've definitely been hot. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I don't think I've ever been drunk.

No, no. Have I been? No. No, I've never been drunk on television. Oh, I've been drunk on TV. Oh, have you? Yeah. What?

Almost every time I'm on that fucking thing. Yeah, I hate it. No, when I used to do At know when i used to do at midnight with chris hardwick before you know now they redid it with taylor or whatever when i did that on comedy central that's what the original one was yeah on comedy central with chris hardwick i used to i used to get buzzed up for that i wouldn't drunk but i would have a drink backstage for sure yeah in fact i did it like four times they would have a bottle of whiskey there for me to have a couple of sips well because if i'm gonna get this weird, goofy show, I want to loosen up a little bit and have

some fun. But yeah, I mean, my Comedy Central half hour, I was buzzing on that. Yeah. My specials, never. No, that was always a good one. I was high on my first special. Were you? I was high. You were fucked up on your first... You did two tapings? My first special, I've never told anybody this. My first special,

I was high... Yeah, we did two tapings. The first taping was, I wasn't high. But it was kind of like, it almost ruined it because they went out before the crowd and they're like, all right, this is a special, so we need you to laugh. It's super. It's like, no, no, no, I got this. I've been doing comedy for 10 years. I got it.

So my first 15 minutes, they were ruining my jokes because they were laughing too hard. So it took them a second to kind of get in the groove. my first 15 minutes, they were ruining my jokes because they were laughing too hard. It's like, so it took them a second to kind of get in the groove. And so the second one, I was like, I just went in the back and I, this is when I was like newer to weed

and I smoked with my brother, went out there and then it was just so fun. I was blasted. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you end up using that second tape? Is that? Most of my special,

I'm high. If you watch, because I rewatched it like a couple years ago and I was like, oh, yeah. Did you end up using that second tape? Most of my special, I'm high. Right. Because I re-watched it like a couple years ago, and I was like, oh, this is just me. Stoned. Yeah, I was just stoned the whole time. What about the one you just put out? Were you stoned for this? No, I was sober.

Sober. Yeah, I stopped doing it. Stoned sober for it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It is funny to think about that. I never thought about that until I got on TV, and I thought, I wonder how many other people. Because in the history of comedy,

right, you look at like Carson. Yeah. You know, Ed was drunk on air. Oh, was he? Oh, my God, dude. Yeah, he was like a known alcoholic. Yeah. He would be blitzed for the whole show.

Sometimes he'd like mumble his way through the end. If you watch old Carson episodes, there's times when you could tell, even Johnny would be like, we'll have to get you to bed soon, Ed. You know, it was like him tipping off the crew like, all right, dude, he's fucking, we gotta, he's lit. In fact, I heard a rumor. This could be old Hollywood lore. Even if it's fake, I don't care.

You can look this up. You know when they send you a car to do a TV taping? Yeah. And they always say, if you like car service, we can have that available for you in case you drink or, you know, whatever. The rumor was that ed left the studio one time tanked got into a car accident and then the studio found out they were liable because he was drinking during the production so like this production company would be liable the

studio would be liable for his drinking and driving and so from then on they started get letting car service become like a routine thing for people to come and go to TV tapings. Whether or not that's true, I don't know. But I've heard that that's like part of the impetus for studios making sure that on-air talent always had a car. So if they were intoxicated, they weren't liable for whatever happened when you left. Yeah. Which is fucking wild to think about. Because, I mean, I've done a bunch of different TV stuff.

And every time time they're pretty pushy about being like let us let's get you a car just in case let us just we'll send a car just in case wherever you want to go whatever you want to do which is funny because it's like i you know most of the time i used to want to drive myself if i did something i'll drive there i'd rather drive my own car they're like can you not you know what i mean someone just asked me that today if i wanted car service and i was like why would i want to have to tip somebody yeah more yeah more tipping we're in the highest tip culture i've ever seen in my entire life pretty wild man and look some of it the irony that this has been spouted before is i'd rather tip the kid at mcdonald's

because he's got he's making no money than tip, you know, a fucking— Dave & Buster's cashier? Bro, they have tipping for Dave & Buster's cashier. What are you doing at D&B? You still ripping over there? That's what I'm saying. Like, what's going on, man? That's crazy.

When's the last time you went to a Dave & Buster's? Bro, I went, like— Is this your shit? No, no, no. I went, like, six months ago. I feel like it's— Really? With a group of friends? Is that a bad thing? I went on a Is this your shit? No, no, no. I went like six months ago. I feel like it's... Really? With a group of friends?

Is that a bad thing? I went on a date. I don't think I've ever been to a Dave & Buster's as an adult man. That's crazy, man. Actually, that's not true. I went to a Dave & Buster's in Times Square after Drake did SNL. He had a party there. He had his after-after party at Dave & Buster's.

You met Drake? Nah, really. I mean, yes and no. I said hello. But we were all... It was a thousand people. Yeah, yeah. And everybody snuck in. And then a fight broke out. Everybody snuck in. Who fought? Two chicks, really. I mean, yes and no. I said hello, but we were all, it was a thousand people. Yeah, yeah. And everybody snuck in, and then a fight broke out.

Everybody snuck in. Who fought? Two chicks, dude. It was actually kind of wild. By the skee-ball machine. Don't, you don't get in the way of a fucking 100er, you know what I mean? All I saw from afar was hair being pulled, screaming, and I was like, let's get the fuck out of here.

I was like, this is not going to end well. Do you like rap? I love rap. So you were in this drink and- I love hip-hop. You fuck out of here. I was like, this is not going to end well. Do you like rap? I love rap. So you were in the street. I love hip hop. You love hip hop. I like rap. Oh, okay.

I've always loved hip hop. But we grew up with, that's why I pointed out, when we talked about Tribe before we started, I always liked that era because we grew up with it. I do like a lot of new shit. Yeah. What about this beef between Kendrick and Drake? You know

It's kind of sad I guess because we grew up with real beef Like murder you beef That was the era of our youth You think it's sad? I like it I don't know, it's interesting But it also looks desperate Because Drake had his run

And he's not as big as he used to be Which is fine But it feels like these guys are shooting at each other when it's not. It's over. It's over. That's what I mean. But for music in general. Yeah.

I mean, there's an app I have on my phone that I can type in anything, and it'll make a song in two minutes. Yeah. Do you know about that? Bro, that's kind of, I mean. So the Drake thing with Kendrick, it also felt really out of bounds. Like when Biggie and Tupac went at it there was something so organic about it even though even though it wasn't organic it was like manufactured by everybody else around them

yeah they didn't hate each other but it became this fuel for two young unbelievably talented men to like battle it out i thought it was beautiful even though it ended tragically drake and kendrick it's like that this is not these are two different kendrick is a fucking a poet yeah drake is a pop star yeah i don't even understand do you know what i mean by this it's like these people have nothing in common yeah so i think the the war itself is misappropriated i was like these are two guys that shouldn't be fucking after whatever your personal beef is dissing each other i know but it's also it's so it's like petty on a weird like they're not even in the same playing field that

would be like me mocking one of the best uh guys at groundlings or second city it's like what yeah we're both comedians but it's so different the art that we make okay that's what i mean if it's the same kind of art then i like it yeah like if it's two different, the art that we make. Oh, okay. That's what I mean. If it's the same kind of art, then I like it. Yeah. Like, if it's two guys clapping at each other who kind of do

the similar shit or on the same rise, I'm like, ooh, this is sexy. But fucking Drake, Drake is a pop star. Yeah, but it's a fight, man. If you walk outside

and two dudes are fighting, we're watching. But imagine those two guys actually fist fighting. Yeah. Come on. What are we talking about? Drake is way bigger than that.

Yeah, he's fucking three times the size of that guy. It wouldn't even be fun to watch. Do you remember in high school when somebody beat someone up and you were like, holy fuck, this is unfair? Yeah. And you can't stop it and you're like, oh man, that's so bad for that guy. I remember watching these two kids fight in high school and it wasn't even fun because we felt so bad. This other kid was so much smaller. And you're like, this is mean now.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was fun that they're like, they're going to fight. I feel like a dude that's bigger and hitting on a guy that's smaller than him is almost like hitting a woman. Similar. Yeah, similar. It should be the same. I'll tell you a wild story.

I don't think I ever told this, but it just popped into my mind. In the cafeteria, I remember a massive fight breaking out. And this guy, and people are standing up, and this guy is just throwing haymakers. And someone's, like, on the table on one of the cafeterias. But people are standing up in there. It's crazy. And he's throwing haymakers. I mean, he's going nuts.

And then a teacher, like, grabs him by the hair. He had longer hair. And, like, yanks his neck back and pulls him away. And then they pull this person up and it's a girl i was like holy shit dude he was haymaker in this chick but she got up fine she was like fucking bitch she was yelling back at him i was like damn dude she was taking it those high school fights i will say so much fun wow did it make the day fun yeah terrible but it made the day so much fun yeah because then you had something to talk about for the rest of the week. The whole time.

Yeah, yeah. Even like the next lunch date. Yeah, it was amazing. Remember the yesterday? You're still buzzing from that fight, man. Did you get in fights when you were young? No. No, you were a good kid.

Yeah, I think I was pretty good. I couldn't wait. I just started getting bad until like the last few years. Oh, really? Yeah, like recently. I'm good now. I'm good now. Okay.

But when I was drinking, boy. Yeah. Come at me. Yeah. See, I was a little like recently. I'm good now. I'm good now. Okay. But when I was drinking, boy. Yeah. Come at me. Yeah. See, I was a little fucking asshole when I was, I couldn't wait to fucking fight someone that was- Oh, you got in a bunch of fights? When I was a little kid, I was a little, just an asshole.

If somebody picked on me- I've never in my life punched anybody. Really? Never. Oh, you got to feel it. It's great. No, I don't. But getting hit isn't good.

Punching someone feels great. Getting punched is the worst thing in the world that's why at our age when someone's like oh you want to step up you're like no man no i have a mortgage i'm tired i gotta go home and i gotta fight you i'm fucking exhausted you know you know getting into a fight hurts in a way for the next few days i can't i couldn't explain it unless you felt it it's like you got into a bunch of car accidents yeah the

your whole body hurts yeah oh it's the fucking worst when was the last time you got in a fight oh dude when I was in college yeah

college was the last time we got into a big fight because um we were at an apartment complex and drinking and being you know assholes

and some guy pulled out of a spot really drunk and he almost hit a girl that was like in this group with us and then one of my friends was like really chirpy and i had a couple of buddies that were you know they couldn't they couldn't wait to fucking yeah yeah yeah and so then um that initiated this like you know oh yeah chirpy chirpy and then there was like four of us and there must have been 10 of those guys. And they beat the shit out of us.

They know that. They fucking whopped us. I was thinking it was going to be a different story. I got kicked in the head. Oh, I got hit so hard. We got warped. Whenever you got two guys on you, I don't care how tough you are, you're probably going to get hit hard.

Last time I got in like a, I mean, I didn't, there was no punches thrown, but I was, it was 2020, actually. I was picking this girl I was dating up, dating from the airport, and I was with my boy. And I just, up, dating from the airport, and I was with my boy. And I just, we're getting to the airport, and there's like, right before you hit the right, and there's a straightaway to the airport, there's this guy on a bike in, he's in the street.

So I'm like, all right, I honk at him, and then he flicks me off. And I was like, okay, honk, honk, honk. You know, I'm just being, you know, and being annoying. And so he throws his bike on the ground. He's like, what's up? What's up? And I'm like, bro, get on your bike.

He's like, that's what I thought. And so I get out the car. Oh, wow. Because my ego is like, nah, we got to. You're like, you know what? Yeah, yeah. Hold on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get out the car, get out my electric car.

And then I said, what you want to do? And then he goes, what's up? And I was like, that's what I thought. He's like, yeah, get back my electric car and then uh and then i said what you want to do and then he goes he goes what's up and i was like that's what i thought he's like yeah get back in your car but when he said that i felt like he was like your mama ho that's what it felt like close it sounds the same yeah so i walked up to him and then he like pushes me and then i i grab him i put him on the ground and i do i've been doing jujitsu for a minute at this point yeah and so i remember like grappling with him and it not being fair and then I just was like I just got up and you were like that that's enough get back on your bicycle so bad yeah you didn't even hurt him though you're

good I put him down yeah yeah I didn't really like I mean I don't think I yeah but you knew you could have the power was there I just felt I like a bully. Right. It felt so bad. Was he a tiny man? No, no, no. He was probably way the same as me, but he was a couple inches shorter than me. How did you know as you got up, you walked away, you got in your car, did he just get on his bike? He was like wiping off the... I felt so bad.

Somehow that's more diminutive than getting punched. He has to be like, just get out of here, man. Yeah. Cleaning off his little bike shorts. Oh, yeah. He faked like he was going to shoot me with a gun. Really? I forgot that part.

Yeah, he felt like he was like, you walk up on me, you know. A bicyclist has a gun? That's what I'm saying. That's what I said. Was it one of those, like, was it just a bike or like a guy who's like doing the bike? You know what I'm talking about? Yeah, I know what you're talking about. No, it was a bike like I can't afford a car all right well that guy probably does have a gun

now that i think about it that guy he spent all his money on a gun not a car well people have guns they just show you their guns right away can't wait he would have been like yeah you know i mean you would have seen it immediately he just was like i was like you don't have a gun yeah show me the gun yeah exactly show me the gun i know i've been i've had guns put on me they just pulled it out have you really yeah wow they just pulled the gun i've, exactly. Show me the gun. I've had guns pulled on me. They just pulled it out. Have you really? Yeah. Wow.

They just pulled the gun out. I've never been robbed at gunpoint. I've never been robbed. I've seen the gun. I've done the thing where they're like, da-da-da, and you're like, okay. Yeah, I've seen that. I don't like that. Get that shit away from me immediately, dude.

Because anybody who's willing to do this will shoot something completely on accident. You know what I mean? This guy will shoot something and just be like, fuck, that's my bad. You know what I mean? This guy will shoot something and just be like, fuck! I'm so bad! You know what I mean? This guy who does this, so irresponsible with the gun. It's pointing at your penis. I don't trust you even a little bit.

The guy with the gun on his hip, trust that guy with my life. This guy? This guy's the guy. This guy's got the fucking... But the dick gun guy? Because you gotta move it out the way. Yeah, that guy can't wait to shoot something on accident. That guy has zero skill with the gun.

The dick gun guy has no gun skill. This, this... Whenever I'm, like, in Texas and you see, like, open carry, and you see guys with it on their hip, I always think, that guy knows what he's doing with a gun. That's kind of weird to me. Open carry? Yeah.

It actually doesn't bother me. Because I feel like if you're bold enough to carry a gun in public on your side you you obviously have a relationship with guns you're not new to this like if you imagine if you just got a gun and it's your i imagine you don't put it on your hip for the first like six months that you have it you like you know what i mean you're kind of you're like it's kind of like wearing jewelry sometimes when you're like should i wear my watch like should i take my gun or should I fucking leave it at the house? I think until you

get confident enough with your ability with it, would you ever just put it on your side? Unless you live in the sticks and then it's... Yeah, but there's like a different, like gun confidence is like a different... It's bold. Yeah, I mean, I don't know, I don't know. I would love to walk around with a gun.

I would fucking love that. Anyway, when a fan is like, Santino, I'm like, come on, don't know. I would love to walk around with a gun. I would fucking love that. When a fan is like, Santino, I'm like, come on. Don't get too close. Don't get too close. No, I would never. That's insane. Do you have any guns? I do.

I do like guns. I don't want to walk around with them, but I like them. Do you like shotguns? I've never shot a shotgun. Oh, my God. That's the most fun. I love shotguns. I was never shot a shotgun. Oh my God, that's the most fun. I love shotguns. I was in Atlanta.

I was living there and then- Well, they give you a gun when you move into Atlanta. They give it to you. Yeah, it's in the HOA package.

Yeah, yeah, when I pulled in, I was like, is this a checkpoint? They're like, here's a gun. I was like,

oh, that's crazy, man. But the first day, they broke into my mom's car and then I was super anti-gun. I was like anti- I remember like living in my uncle's house, you i i'm i was super anti-gun i was like anti i remember like living

in my uncle's house you know and when i was like 13 and uh he was anti-gun and i was like well what if someone tries to rob you he's like we just let him rob us and then at the end you know no yeah i don't want to get robbed and then they try to rob my they well they did rob my mom's car and then i was like oh i'll shoot somebody for my mom. Yeah, exactly. You will kill for someone you love. Yeah. I was like, oh, absolutely. So I got three guns the next day. Right. Three? Three. One would have been good. I got an AK, which I don't need. Right. And I got two nines. Nines are great though. Yeah, they're great. They feel so nice. I got an automatic and one that's just a regular nine. I'd love to take you to shoot. Shotguns are really fun. I would

love to. I love shooting to I think that as a kid I grew up with my dad liked shotguns uh he didn't love handguns that wasn't I think he kind of was adverse to him because he wasn't familiar so he just grew up liking guns and he grew up in the sticks near where you were in North Carolina by the way isn't that crazy yeah my stepdad he grew out there he grew up out in the in the hills out there in North Carolina. Hey, buddy. That's how everybody talk. His best friend used to be like, Andrew, you do 100 push-ups. I'll give you $100.

That's what he used to say. Did he ever do it? I was nine. I was like, what the fuck? I can do 100 push-ups? Come on, Andrew. Get down. I would have done 10,000 push-ups. You, yeah.

I didn't look like I said nine. Yeah, I imagine you did. You've looked 36 since you were nine. No, but I used to love going to shoot because it was just something about a shotgun. It feels so old school, too, that it was like the weight of it was beautiful. Like you had to hold it with two. Were you a gun kid? No.

Minnesota? No. You got to take the hat off then. Yeah. It's a fashion statement. Were you a gun kid? No. Minnesota? No. You got to take the hat off then. Yeah. It's a fashion statement. That's a gun hat. See, he's more annoying than vegans. That's my, he's fucking, yeah.

By the way, vegans aren't annoying, for the record. I have a lot of friends that are vegan. The most annoying person in this day and age are 24-year-old men. These are the worst versions of people that exist. What is it like being 24? He lives like a 24? He lives like a rat. He lives like a little rat person.

And when we were 24, like I started when I was 22, 23, we were so poor and it was like I don't know, it was like fine because the pressure wasn't there. But these guys, it's like a different kind of broke now.

Andrew Tate. Andrew Tate. Andrew Tate's got to him now. No, I just think it's like a different kind of broke now. They said they're having the least amount of sex. Well, because they don't want to get in trouble. I think it's because it's porn. It's also just the internet.

We're not used to interacting in person. Right, they don't want to miscommunicate how they feel to somebody and then it get taken in the wrong direction because they yeah because they're because they're their communication is through non-face-to-face you had to talk to girls like like over and don't like there's just so much also just like the over too much choice or whatever the fact that yeah it's too many options well that's that's the problem with all these apps it's just that's why I stopped

using apps I was like if I think someone's attractive I just kind of go up to them because every friend of mine that is on the app they say the same shit that they talk

they could talk to like 10 women and then none of them pan out to anything because they don't ever meet up or it kind of wanes away and it just doesn't so I think it attaches

no stakes there's no stakes so then why who's going to? That's what would happen with me is I would meet a girl on whatever app I'm using, and then they would just hold me until whoever that looks way better and that's taller with more money decided that they didn't want to talk. Then they'd be like, all right, hey. That's awful.

This girl, I was at a coffee shop, and I just was walking. I seen her. I was like, okay, she's attractive. So I walked up to her. I was like, hey, what's your name? And um, I just, I was at a coffee shop and I just was walking. I seen her. I was like, okay, she's attracted. So I walked her through. I was like, Hey, what's your name? And she goes, Oh, I'm so-and-so. I was like, cool. We should go out sometime and let me get your Instagram. And she was like, cool. So I got her Instagram. I'm like, Hey, we should go out this time at this day in this place. And she's like, cool. And then we, the day of she's like, Oh, I'm sorry. I got sick. Can't do that. You know, let's do it another time. I was like, all right, just let me know when you're free. So she didn't hit me up for six months. Six months?

Six months she didn't hit me up. That's a long sickness. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So then she just laughed at something on my story like a few days ago. And then yesterday she laughed again at something I did. And I was like, oh, did y'all break up? Yeah. You single again?

Yeah. You single again? You must be free now. Yeah, yeah. She just was talking to somebody. But are you going to engage? Yeah. You single again? You must be free now. Yeah, yeah. She just was talking to somebody. But are you going to engage? No. No.

If she hits me up, which she won't, because women have like this, you know, they're not used to, women don't hit up men. They don't have to. They don't have to, exactly. Except for on the app that they do, that one. Bumble. The reverse one. Yeah, yeah.

Right, then they have to engage. Yeah, but that's like still, it's the same thing. Yeah, they engage and then they stop. They don't have a game. Their game is, hey, yeah. Right. Then they have to engage. Yeah, but that's like still the same thing. Yeah, they engage and then they stop. They don't have a game. Their game is, hey, that's whack. Yeah, but that's a good game, though. That's no, bro. If a hot enough girl's like, hey, I know you're like, hey.

Hi. What's up? No, I think the women that are most attractive are the most annoying. Oh, really? For sure. They're just like they don't have anything else. Like I met a, yeah, they don't have anything else. Like, I met a, yeah, I don't get it. I think that

women are that attractive, they just, they're too attractive. They're too attractive to even have some normalcy? Yeah, I like the, like the, um, I like the regular fine. Regular fine. Yeah. Yeah, that should be the name of your next special. Regular fine. Regular fine, yeah. Yeah, regular fine.

Yeah, where they're hot, where they're pretty, but they're not, uh, they're not filled with, they haven't been filled their whole life with, you can have anything, you can do everything. Yeah. Yeah. You need someone that had like someone with a scar. You need someone with a little bit of a, right. Yeah. You can't have a, anytime someone gets too pretty, men or women, uh, they've had no zero impingement you know there's no like stop

point they're allowed to do everything they want and they're given everything so then why would they why would they want to fuck with you yeah they've been given the world but all we learned from this is you like mediocre looking vegans who don't mind that you're picky and sometimes you do jitsu and you have an Airbnb in Atlanta. I think you're an eligible bachelor as far as I'm concerned. I do, me too. Yeah, I think you've got all the puzzle pieces. I'm a regular amount of weird, too.

Well, regular amount of weird is what we're going to get you. We're going to get you. So any fans out there, if I have some vegan female fans uh please comment down below uh dm preacher let him know watch his special uh first so you maybe to find out if you like his sense of humor and then dm him say hey i also don't eat meat and i'm you know could you imagine okay looking if someone hit me up and then they watched my special second, came back and was like, never mind. Never mind.

Yeah. I got sick. That was the girl. I can't go on the date. I got sick. I got sick. I'm so sorry. I watched your shit.

I had you over six months. Yeah. I'm going to break up with whatever guy I'm talking about. Well, everyone that's listening now, please comment if you are that person. Also, watch Preacher's Special. He's available right now. Are you on tour? Plug some dates if you're on tour.

I'm on tour, man. Yeah. Plug it, baby. I mean, when's this dropping? ASAP. Oh, okay. Well, I'm in Netflix's The Joke Festival. It's Thursday. Then I'm in some other... I don't know where I'm at, Brad. Just go with my dates. Preacher Lawson.

Go to PreacherLawson.com. PreacherLawson.com for those tickets. I appreciate you. We end the show the same way. Look into that camera right there. That's your camera. You say one word or one phrase to end the episode. And remember, this will be embedded in time and history forever, so make it You say one word or one phrase to end the episode. And remember, this will be embedded in time and history forever, so make it count. One word or one phrase. One word or one

phrase. Or one phrase, whichever one you choose. I don't want to be corny, but I just think about quotes. Go ahead and do it then. Never do tomorrow what you can do today, baby. In here, we pour whisk, whisk, whisk, whisk, whisk, whisk. You're that creature

in the ginger beard sturdy and ginger like vampires the ginger gene is a curse gingers are beautiful you owe me five dollars

for the whiskey and seventy five dollars for the horse gingers are hell no this whiskey is excellent ginger I like gingers