Whiskey Ginger with Andrew Santino - Shane Gillis

Episode Date: September 10, 2021

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What up, Whiskey Ginger fans? Welcome back to the show. If this is your first time joining us, welcome to the show. Please like it, subscribe it, leave a comment for the algo rhythm. And I appreciate you guys watching. I'm trying to bring you guys new people that you've never seen before, and people that you have seen before. Some returning guests, and some people that you've never done, heard of, or seen before. So I appreciate you continuing your Patreonage.

We also have a Patreon, speaking of which. You want to head over there and see the Cheeto Chats. We do Zooms of the top tier, all sorts of fun stuff. Patreon.com slash Whiskey Ginger Podcast. My guest this week is Shane Gillis. Love this dude, man. So funny. And he has a special out right now.

Right now. Go to YouTube. Go to YouTube and watch his special. Well, not right now. Listen to this first and then go watch it or open two windows and watch this simultaneously with his special whatever floats your boat man anyway Shane special is out it's so so funny he's such

a great dude and uh please go watch after this also I'm on tour I'm on tour andrewsantino.com I'm jumping around the country man go see me dude I have so many dates up we're adding more dates as we go and adding more shows I think we're adding a show in Philly. We're adding shows in Portland and Seattle, uh, second shows and, um, Boston, uh, Atlanta, San Francisco, Chicago. We're all over. So when

people hit me up, they're like, when are you coming to look on the website? Go look it up. That's where I'm coming to, uh, enough ramblingambling from me. AndrewSantino.com for those tickets to see me live. Let's go to the episode. In here, we pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey. You're that creature in the ginger beard. Sturdy and ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are beautiful.

You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse. Gingers are hell no. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Whiskey Ginger. My guest today is one of my favorite people on earth. I say that for all my guests, but I mean it once again today.

It's Mr. Shane Gillis. Shane Gillis. What up, bro? Dude, congratulations on your special. This is incredible. Oh, thanks, man. It's very funny, dude. Honestly, when I heard, we have a mutual friend who opens up for us.

Yes. Christopher O'Connor. What's his middle name? James? It's got to be. I think it's James. He's an Irish prick. Yeah.

Christopher James O'Connor opens up for us, and he told me that. When he told me, he was like, oh, Shane's going to go down to Austin and do a special and then put it up on YouTube. And I was like, like that's the it's like the new best way to do that shit yeah well i don't genuinely i truly i mean i think it is the best but i didn't sound like i had any options what do you mean you could have you don't you think you could have tried to go somewhere and sell it or no no i think after after i got canceled what happened this whole thing a guy who has no idea yeah really yeah yeah, yeah. Really? Yeah. But let's be real.

Did you really get canceled? I mean, I got canceled as much as people get canceled, for the most part, for saying things. Now, people sometimes get canceled for, like, sexual assault. Yeah, that one's big. That one's a rough one. That one's a big one. Yeah. Yeah, but yours was, like, you know, total, I mean, look, I'm sure you got into the throes of it with Rogan.

But like the details of how, you know, the context was so, it was so taken out of context. It was so weird to me. Yeah. It was. That happens. By the way, that joke that didn't land on Rogan was. Fuck. Well, it's not like it was the best joke.

No, but it was. I was just like, it's a funny, it was a funny story. If you said it to me, I would have laughed. Yeah, of like the confidence of being like, don't worry, I'm just going to go do Rogan. I just never heard from him. I thought it was funny, man. I thought it was so good. I understand why he was like, I get why he was a little like, wait, are you saying I didn't help you?

Like, I think that's what he thought I was, you know what I mean? I thought his, because I know Joe well enough to, and I spoke to him about you when it happened. Yeah. And, uh, I was like, you know, you should not like I'm giving him advice, but I was, I was like, yo, you should have him on the show for real. He was like, oh yeah, that's yeah, I should. I'll talk. I want to talk to him. Like it was one of those things where, and I think I told that to O'Connor when we talked about it to talk to you about it. Cause I was like, oh, he definitely would, because he's interested in finding out the real story, versus just someone being like, this is what it is.

But anyway, all that shit aside, who cares? But yeah, after that, that was the only option I had. Do you think you couldn't have gone somewhere like HBO or Amazon? No, I think hopefully on the next one I can. Because of the success? Hopefully this one does well enough yeah that I can yeah it's funny as shit hopefully you did a creek in the cave yeah that's great I've never I haven't stepped foot in that place because I went to Austin and Joe was trying to parade me around

being like isn't this incredible and I was like it's okay slow down everyone talked about it like it was heaven on earth I was like it's okay's close. They just have to eradicate the homeless. Yeah, but then it's never going to happen. And also that 6th Street, 6th Street or whatever it is? Yeah, dude, it's like... It's like Bourbon Street. Yeah, it's like Bro Fight Central. It's like, I don't want to go down there.

I've been there, but I'm like, I don't want to... If that's where the comedy venues are going to be, I don't know, no thanks. That's where they are. Yeah. I know, and I was like, put them on the other side of the thing or something. Yeah. I don't know.

Put them on the other side of the river. I know. You don't want to shit on Creek in the Cave. Could be. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just because you're stuck in there. Yeah, it's fine. No, but Creek in the Cave is on the other side, right?

No, Creek in the Cave is like, I think there's like a shelter across the street. I mean, dude, it was gangs of roving homeless dudes everywhere. How many people fit in there? It's small. Probably like 150, 200. That's pretty good. And how many shows did you do? I did five, but we only filmed one night.

You filmed two shows? Yeah. Did you cut both shows? Be real. What do you mean? Did you combine two shows or you just take one? It's like 90% one. That's so funny.

That's like almost every one I've ever talked to. First show I did was great. Second show, there's like 90% one. That's so funny, isn't it? That's like almost everyone I've ever talked to. First show I did was great. Second show, second show there was like, you could hear the music from across the street. Oh, yeah. And I was just like, what the fuck? You joked about hearing the shit outside. That part was in there, yeah. Yeah, you joked about hearing the shit outside.

Yeah, that was only during the second show, and it was throughout the whole fucking show. There was just bass. There was just fucking bass. But you can't hear it on the taping. You can't, but I think somebody went over, somebody I was friends with went over there and was like, hey, could you turn this down? And they went in there and it was an empty bar

just blasting music. I love that. And they're like, could you please turn this down? My friend's trying to do something. My friend's trying to change his life behind these walls. Yeah, on the other side of the street, this guy's trying to make a comeback. And I think they turned the music up.

Yeah. Which is funny. I would say fuck you, too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But also, that's such a white move is to go over and be like, excuse me. Could we please turn the music up? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they were like, we're not doing anything illegal.

And it was like, all right, great. That's everybody in Texas. Right, that is. There's nothing illegal about this. It's like, all right, but everyone's just kind of asking you not to do it. That is funny because that's so true. Everything there is just like on the border of, yeah, it's not cool, but it's not against the law.

You can't tell me what to do. You can get bummed about it. You're not going to put me in prison. And I was, I was bummed. I was fucking bummed, dude. I was on stage. It's like, fuck. Yeah, 90%, 90% is kind of what I keep hearing.

I think that's why Rock did his special where he did that one where it was, it was kind of four shows or whatever whatever it was cut it together yeah yours was better than chris rocks you heard it here first i said thanks bro no it was really really good man i'm you should be i texted you today and i said how happy you should be about it and i knew you would be but it was also look i have a genuine question just outside of being a friend as like an observer or a fan i was like oh this was really strategic maybe it wasn't on purpose but like putting out the gillian keeve sketches on the channel and growing it would did you want

to do that the whole time were you like i'm going to grow this with the sketches i'm going to do and then drop a special the plan was to do that yeah okay that's smart because when i saw it i was like that's really smart yeah the plan was to film a bunch of sketches and then in this lull where we're hopefully going to make some more sketches, but we'll see what happens.

In between the first couple sketches and hopefully next season, put a special. Yeah, that was good. So we'll see. Hopefully that happens. Are you one of these guys

that's going to try to do a special now every year? No. No, that took like fucking 10 years. It took 36 years. Yeah, that's still all 10 years. Your whole life. It took 36 years. Yeah, that's still

all my material. I'm going to go do that material tonight. I like that you're honest about that. Yeah. I hate when people are like, nah, man, I'm crazy.

You know when you hear like, and it's also, it's always like a bad comic that's like, I've got like a whole new hour and you're like, what? How?

All your other shit was bad. I think that's kind of why. You've got to be confident enough to be like, this is good every time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? I mean, obviously there's guys like Louie and all those dudes.

Who's that guy? He got canceled. He's a – but like the guys who put out an hour. That was crazy he was doing that. And it was good. Here's the problem. When Jordan had that game where he could hit all those threes yeah it gives the impression sometimes that other nba players could also do that yeah and then they try

and you're like hey you can't do that yeah you can't that was the thing is like louis set an unfair standard and then you saw other comics not going to mention who but like we saw people putting out too many specials and you're like across the board yeah even comics that i like i was like what is that dude yeah You're putting out too much bullshit. Like, I don't think anybody, even if it's a really good special, I don't think everybody wants to see that much stuff from all of the comics.

Very selected, blessed by the comedy god few, but like, when Louis put out shit all the time, I was like, this motherfucker, I felt like he could do it every six months. Yeah, he could. It was shocking. Yeah, it's just how he, yeah, he's just funny. He's just the best. So no matter what, yeah.

Yeah, he's the best. Unfortunately, he's the best. There's no other way to say it of like, what is the magic? It's like he just has the thing, you know? He's the best ever. But, and it's cool that you left in, how many people were with you at the special, by the way? Were you at a bunch of friends back there? Yeah, I had a bunch of friends.

I know Connie was there. Yeah, O'Connor was there. McCusker. McCusker, Six, Kyla, Tommy, McKeever. The boys. The boys, dude. That's great, there. Yeah, O'Connor was there. McCusker. McCusker, Six. Six, Kyla, Tommy, McKeever. The boys. The boys, dude. That's great, man. Yeah.

That's the way I think you should do it. Never thought I'd be an entourage comic, but here I am, dude. You're a dude. I'm one of the few white entourage comics. You're Vinny Chase, for sure. For sure. You're 100% Vinny Chase. Yeah, I'm a bit of a heartthrob, dude.

Yeah, dude. In that I have a throbbing heart. Yeah. We're worried, actually. This is an intervention for you. Yes. We just want to get you This is an intervention for you. Yes. We just want to get you fixed up. What do you mean?

You look good. Fine. Did you put away the booze? No. You didn't put it away? No. All right. What, do you want a booze?

Well, I was going to say we have a little sniff of something. All right. No, you got stuff to do. You got stuff to do. I got to do a show tonight. Yeah, you want to stay sharp. Yeah, we could have one. We could.

We should. What kind? What's the best one? I don't really like any of this shit. It's going to stay sharp. Yeah, we could have one. We could. We should. What kind? What's the best one? I don't really like any of this shit. It's going to be hot. Well, I'll put ice on it in the other room. All right, all right. Yeah, I'll go get some.

Is it going to be hot whiskey? Well, this is where it sits typically. Okay. Do you have a cold bar at home? I bought that for my dad, the one with the horse on it. Blattons? Yeah. It was expensive.

Yeah, this is good stuff. I don't know what's good or bad. Nothing here is bad, but this is good. Yeah, I bought that. This is really good stuff. I just went in and said, what bad. Nothing here is bad, but this is good. Yeah, I bought that. This is really good stuff. I just went in and said, what's the most expensive one? You went to a liquor store? Yeah.

It's funny because I talk on this show, you can't really find this most places. Yeah, there's a place in New York. Yeah. Because Buffalo Trace is the distributor for this stuff, right? Okay. Same as Pappy Van Winkle and all that stuff. But these guys- So you drink like this.

Like, you know what the fuck this stuff is. I like bourbon a lot. Really? It's the- Sure. Whole thing I got. You know what? I'm not... It's got a whole show.

Did you not do any research? No, I'm not a big bourbon freak like people are. You know what I mean? Guys will email me or fan pages are like, actually, it's like, dude, I just really like it and I know what I like and I know what's like on the scale of good. I can't even order wine.

I went out to dinner last night and I was like, I want red. Like I was like, how do I order? But that sounds right. Yeah, but you gotta pick. There's like, I'm looking at a menu. I don't know which ones are red. Tell the guy or the girl that you give me the one that you like. Okay. Dude, wine is fake. Wine's fake. Yeah, I don't think. But that's got to be somewhat.

I've had good liquor. No, no. There's a big difference between this and Jack Daniels. I mean, by far. You taste it. With wine, I've been with these rich friends I have. Sure. And I've had bottles of wine at $700.

And then I've had bottles around $28. Pretty close. I was joking about that with Tim. Tim and I went out to like a steak dinner with a boa yeah yeah yeah so he ordered we get in there first off it's funny to watch tim be famous so everyone in there's like how is the meal like talking to tim all the time and then because he's not just a comic he's a food critic now he is yeah he's a monster if you if you betray him if you wrong him imagine what he'll write about you yeah just have a

fucking 20 minute thing on on Boa sucking dick. It'll be incredible. He's powerful, dude. So we go in there, and we get this really nice steak, and it's apparently one of the better snow steak or some shit. I don't have no idea what the fuck it is. I don't know. But if you're with Tim, sure.

It was phenomenal. But while we were eating it and drinking, I got a good wine, and I was like, you could literally, this could be Franzia,ia and this could be Steakums and you could trick me and be like this is the high-end stuff and I'd eat it and be like wow you're from Philly this is incredible yeah that's I mean I have no idea you're such that's such like a Philly you like uh it is embarrassing like when I was young I was like proud of being like kind of shitty no I mean you're kind of like no I don, I don't drink any nice stuff. And now it's like I'm going out to dinner and I can't read the menu.

But is it because – And I'm like, what is this? Is your old man – does he still, like, put it on you like that? Like, if you try to pretend like you have something nice – Oh, my God. Shit's all over it. Yeah. That's – you've got to have those people.

Yeah. It's funny to make fun of him now. Like, I'll come home and be like, I'll fucking buy you. He'll see me doing nothing and be like, Dad, buy you he'll see me doing nothing like that i'll buy this house he's like do it fucking do it because i want that money yeah that is the interesting thing about what i like and i'll include you guys in the midwest thing because i'm a chicago guy but like most most people from that part of the country what you should be embarrassed about your success. If you're not embarrassed about your success, they hate you. You should be a little embarrassed about your success.

Like, what did your parents say about your special? Were they there, by the way? They haven't said anything yet. How many days? Four? Two. No, no, no. It was only day two.

Yeah. They probably don't know. Did you tell them? Were you like, yo, him were you like yo no i didn't tell him you were like this you didn't mention the most important thing in your comedy career right now no that's cool i'm not trying to be cool i just no no i mean it's cool oh you know what you know what that's i did i talked about it with my dad he was he came down to florida with me and o'connor and the guys for like a week. I heard. And Phil was down there. What did O'Connor tell you about the trip? Honestly, and this is not my business to say live on the show, but I'm going to.

No, O'Connor had a coming to God moment where he called me and was like, I need to clean it up. It's been too much down here. He was a fucking mess. He's going to fucking hate me for this. No, he was partying. He knew this was coming. He knew this podcast.

He knew this was coming. So we went down. He was partying really hard. I figured he was partying with you. And then he came down and met us. Yeah. Well, because we were on the road together and we were having so much fun. Did he tell you when he came back what I was saying to him?

Oh, I told you. I was like, the road dog. The road dog. This guy, he's a magician he's able to just float from city to city and he's he's got the energy of a 20 year old and it's remarkable he's able to buy so when he called me from florida i knew you guys were like burning out and having a good time we were hitting it yeah yeah it was i mean because we usually usually have shows at night so i'm not used to day drinking. I never day drink. Dude, we would just go to the beach every day and just black out.

But O'Connor got in a fight for five hours with two of these other guys about sand, about pouring water on sand. I'm sure he called you and explained to you how what he was saying made sense. But he admitted he was wrong. No, he didn't. To me. Oh, my God. He would never say that to you guys. No. No, no, But he admitted he was wrong. No, he didn't. To me. Oh, my God. He would never say that to you guys.

No. No, no, but he was like, in the end, I think he was like, but I guess I stood corrected. Dude, I have video I'll show you after this. Yeah. It is so fucking funny because Chris is like smart. Chris is like the smartest dumb guy you've ever met. By far.

It's crazy. He's an idiot genius. He sounds, and when he speaks and artic's crazy he's an idiot genius he sounds and he when he speaks and articulates he's very smart yeah but then he'll do stuff where you're just like dude what the fuck dumbest shit i've ever seen yeah yeah by far so he's fighting with these dudes about sand and uh these are just two dudes from philly one's a trash truck driver one's a painter they're they're wild they couldn't be more like the funniest dudes what we are yeah yeah and so they're arguing.

In the middle of it, one of the dudes is like, they're talking about sand and compacting sand for five hours. And if water is poured on sand, it becomes dense or something like that. Chris, oh, man. He's going to hate this. By the way, let's make a side note. Chris O'Connor is one of our best friends. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I live with him. I love Chris. And by the way, I've said this because he comes with me a lot. One of the best comics I know who's part of this group of underappreciated comics. Yeah. There's so many who aren't getting enough shine. That's why, you know, that's why we talk about the fucker. So anyway.

So he was going down to the water. We're all hammered. He's going down to the water, filling up a bottle of Deer Park with ocean water, and then walking back to the sand, and then pouring it onto the umbrella. Yeah. Onto the hole of the umbrella. And then he's done this. He's made two runs, and the guy I was sitting with was like,

that's not going to help. I don't know why he's doing that. Right. And I was like, well, just tell him. And I started, I knew that was a nice little seed, because I like to fire Chris up. It's very easy to get Chris angry, and I well, just tell him. And I started, I knew that was a nice little seed, because I like to fire Chris up. It's very easy to get Chris angry, and I can't stop making him. You're really good at it.

Yeah. Oh, my God. You're like number one at that shit. It's crazy. I know how to make him spaz. It's really affecting our friendship. I can't stop. It's fucking our friendship up.

It's great. But, so he's doing that, and I was like, just to Spud, just tell Chris, that's the guy that was with Spud and he was like, Trash guy or other guy? Just painter. Painter.

But he was like, hey, that's not gonna work what you're doing and I knew right there it was on. I knew like, Chris was like,

oh, okay, could you tell me why? I'm trying to learn and I was like, dude, this is it. Right when Chris

wasn't just like, oh yeah, okay, and stop. That's all he had to do even if he thought it would work yeah does this make sense is this podcast it makes perfect sense okay no but he gets studious when he's wrong yeah he'll look it up he'll sit there and search dude there was a commercial for like a betting website and he was like who is that woman she must be famous and i was like that's just a hot lady yeah and he was like no i think she's probably famous they had alan iverson in their last commercial i was like

well this is just a hot lady 10 minutes later i look at him he's fucking googling who the woman is and finally he gets to this where he's like she was a uh she was in the lpga for one season and i was like oh okay that's how everybody knows her then. Valid. Yeah, he gets very studious if you argue with him. By the way, though, that is very funny that he had to go, the Google he would have had to put in. Yeah, exactly. Who's the hot lady from the bedding commercial? Yeah.

No, but I love him to death, and I'm glad that you guys went down to Florida for a little. I go, dude, I'm just glad you're getting a vacation. You really deserve it. It was not a vacation. His whole life is a vacation. That's why I was like, you're good. I was like, you guys are going to have fun.

All right, hold on. We're going to pause. Okay. And then we're going to come back, and we're going to have a glass. Hold on. Two seconds. All right, and we're back. Cheers.

Cheers. Cheers. We're having a little blend. The horsey. The little horsey. Oh, really? Mm-hmm. How's what you gave your dad?

This is what I had on Christmas with my pa. With your papa? With my dad. I saw my dad naked this week. Congrats. Ass naked. I saw my dad's dick. What are we talking?

Pipe? No. Nah. He's a humble man. Congrats ass naked. I saw my dad's dick. What are we talking? pipe no nah He's a humble man Simple humble did you ever see your your dad naked when you were a kid? Yeah, when I was a kid all the time it is that was back when I was like that's a crazy dick and pubes Yep, you know I mean they never seen pubes big balls, too Yeah, when I first time I saw my dad's big balls you were like whoa. Yeah, this is crazy Yeah, and they don't he I don't think my balls will ever be as big as my father's nuts they could be have you seen him lately i mean i don't think i would have as an adult male i don't

think my balls ever got to the size that his got when he was my age yeah but you were a kid you remember seeing stuff that you thought was big hey look it was i could just feel it it was big you know what it was you know the sink knobs you know those you know the old school shitty sink knobs we had those all through the house one ball was pretty close to the size of an old sink knob that's tough it's big because he would wash his fucking he'd be shaving naked by the in the sink and the knobs were right there and i was like that ball is just like that ball it was was so close. It was like that big. It was fucking huge. But yeah, I was sitting on the couch. We had a day of drinking at the beach.

And I just saw the old man come out of his room to go into the bathroom and he was ass naked. Atta boy. I couldn't believe it. I was like, what the fuck are you doing? He was like, what are you looking at? He was mad at me for looking. I was like, yeah. What are you looking at?'t look i'll be honest it

was it was wild i mean he's like 65 i was gonna say how old yeah 65 and you do talk about him it's not spoiling anything as you talk about him as fox news dad yeah he's a fox news dad same he's a classic fox they all are yeah by the way they all are. The good ones. Every dad I know is obsessed. They're like, to a degree, that's almost, it's great mind, it's brainwashing, it's wonderful. Sure. I mean, it's their, they watch Fox News, they get to watch their team winning every night. Every single game, yeah. And they're like, if we're not winning, it's a grave injustice.

The other team's cheating every day. You know how wild that must be? Yeah. Every night sitting down, I'd be like, these motherfuckers are trying to fuck me. You just by yourself in a room. In your nice house watching TV. And your wife is like, what are you doing? It's like, shut the fuck up for once.

God. She never talks? No. Yeah. For once, Debra. What's your mom's name? Joan. Oh, dude, such great names. Phil and Joan. Phil and Joan. Yeah. That's mine. It's a great squad. She never talks? No For once, Debra What's your mom's name? Joan Oh, dude, such great names

Phil and Joan Phil and Joan Yeah That's money It's a great squad Phil and Joan Yeah, man Yeah, but you

When you put them in Like, when you talk about them But you don't tell them about the special Is it the assumption that they won't watch anyway? So you don't give a shit? No, they would watch My mom's excited about it Oh, she is

My mom, yeah It's kind of me being like a little brat, fat fucking little bitch. It sounds like a fat brat move to not. But like she's excited about stand-up, like my career. Yeah. But I just can't handle the fucking 65-year-old woman questions about stand-up. It kills me, dude. She'll be like, now, what's going on?

Is Lorne Michaels still helping with the stand-up special and i'm just like no he's out of our lives like we gotta just he left yeah like you gotta it's always some crazy like now you did joe rogan when is he gonna help like something like that something fucking crazy but in those instances don't you wish you could just be like well let's call joe yeah let's ask have jones see what she can pull out of Joe. Because genuinely, it would work on a very sweet level of her calling Joe, being like, Joe, what can you do for Shane? Like, what great content to hear your mom add.

Yo, I've learned over the years the innocence, because I've gotten frustrated when they ask me stuff. Yeah, and it's nice. They're trying to, like, I would come up. Because what we do is fake. Of course. So it's like when they're asking you about how you did the magic trick, you can't be mad when you're like,

how do you not know where the cards come from? It's like, well, how the fuck would they know? This is an insane fake. This is a thing we're doing? Imagine pitching this to your father. It's four cameras in a room. He'd be mad. Yeah.

He'd be angry that I was doing this. In fact, if he knew I was in L.A., he'd be mad. You're not allowed to your father. It's four cameras in a room. He'd be mad. Yeah. He'd be angry that I was doing this. In fact, if he knew I was in L.A., he'd be mad. You're not allowed to come here. In here, we pour whiskey. Hey, are you in the market to create a beautiful new website? You're trying to blog about something, trying to sell something. Whether it's product, you kind of publish something. Whether you just got a nice little opinion you want to put out to the world.

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I like gingers. Yeah, this is crazy. I get it. So that's why it's like, it's truly explaining fucking something to a dog at this point. Like, my dad can't change the channel on a television, and I'm supposed to explain what a podcast is, how doing a YouTube special would help me,

things like that. Yeah. Because it started, when you start stand-up, it's always, like, how much are they paying you? That's what my dad would always ask. Where's the money? Like, I'd be like, like oh i got a spot at helium comedy club i got a guest spot he'd be like how much are they paying you it's like nothing he's like well what the fuck are you doing that for i'm like this is good this is the thing yeah yeah that is a hard thing to

explain i think when you start when you start um getting in the groove of doing shows and you're still not getting money when you're young at all in and you're still not getting money when you're young at all. In fact, you're still not getting money for a long fucking time. Sure. And then when people ask you, because that's a very, for some reason, asking about money, you would never go up to a guy who's in sales and be like, how much do you make?

Yeah. Ever. But because of us, they're like, how much do they pay you for the shows? And my family has no problem asking you. Yeah. And I'm like, what the fuck? You can't, and you don't now it's it gets fun starting to tell them see oh do you see now nowadays i'll be like i'll get them with like if i had a good weekend

somewhere i'll be like this is how much they paid me and do they are they like put are they shocked by it yeah yeah yeah they're finally like happy though they'll be like it's about time like something like that what was their what are their what was their job? My dad is still a salesman. Good shit. Yeah, and my mom was a teacher. Yeah. Salesman for what? If you don't want to blow up a spot.

Yeah, I don't know. Well, it's not like it's crazy. What's the kind of thing? Fruit. Fruit product for like ice cream. Really? Yeah, something like that. I like that you don't know.

I don't know. I don't know what any of my friends do. My dad worked in sales, car, automotive, aftermarket stuff. Yeah. What did dads do in the Midwest?

Stuff? Yeah, so imagine when, like, your son's like, I want to be, I'm doing an open mic. Were they,

yeah, but was your, they knew you were going to be, they knew your talent was going to be cultivated. So when you told them that this,

no, really? No. I have a hard time believing that someone like you the way you are that they didn't think uh he's gonna have talent yeah well that was because i failed early i went to west point for football yeah and they were like oh there it is he's gonna be like a senator and then i cried and quit after like two days and they're like nope he's a pussy yeah so yeah but he's a smart pussy maybe you're smart with your own brain if you won't give yourself scholastic credit you at least have to give yourself street credit yeah the way your brain works is is different and wonderful so obviously i just don't buy it i'm not used to these compliments dude well yeah well you're usually talking to dipshits. Sorry.

I'll tone it down. No, but you know what it is? I think that I just don't buy that someone as skilled as you with talent that you have, I don't buy that your parents didn't know when you were like, I'm going to do this, that they were like, I bet he's going to be good. Maybe. Maybe. Football, they were like, he might be good.

He might fucking not. Yeah, true. But I think any comic friend I have that is good, he might be good, he might fucking not. Yeah, true. But, like, I think any comic friend I have that is good, that's, like, naturally good, and also just has worked hard to build, I think most of our families kind of knew. It was like, oh, this is definitely what they're going to do. He's something. Yeah.

Whatever. They can't put the thumb on it. We didn't either until you started to figure it the fuck out. But, oh, that's the other thing about money. I don't want to skip over, but you on the YouTube, the number one thing that my parents actually asked me about, because I was just home in Chicago. I spoke about you, and then I said, yeah,

a buddy of mine is putting out a special on YouTube. And my mother was like, are you going to film when you come to Chicago? I said, maybe. I don't really know. I haven't decided about that shit. And she's like, you should do the YouTube thing. Can you make money on it? And I was like, well, you can, but it's also to get your brand.

Yeah, right. Because, like, you didn't put monetization on the video. I didn't. Yeah, and I thought about that. I was like, I wonder what's the rules. Like, what would you, did you do it consciously, or you don't? Yeah, I did. Because you can, I didn't even add, like, a tipping option.

Why didn't you do that, I guess? I'm pretty bad at this stuff. Should we do that now? I'm bad at this stuff. Should we go that now? I'm bad at this stuff. Should we go back and do that? No, it's just the tipping thing. I think, I don't know how much money I would have made. I think maybe $10,000, $5,000, $10,000.

You say that, dude. It's a bummer because you'll never, it could have been so much. Who knows? Yeah, I know. Fuck. Watching you think about it is great. Dude, our Patreon. Shane Gillis-la breaks tip tipping our patreon's one dollar we set it at one dollar when we started it yeah and now we won't change it and we were

like early on we were like never doing ads ever now you're like now we're like we're doing nine ads a week yeah we're gonna have to start doing that because there's a delicate line between you have to want it we want to do our art and do whatever the fuck we want. But also you're like, well, this is our career. I think there's a mistake when someone's like, are you selling out? You're like, you mean I'm trying to pay rent? What the fuck are you talking about? Yeah.

Like, like you worked so fucking hard to put that special together, to do all the puzzle pieces that no one thinks about. Fucking not just cultivating the material. Yeah. Running it, practicing it, organizing where it's going to be, the way you want it to look and feel and sound, how you want it to be presented to people, all of that, and then they get it for free, which is fucking unreal. And I know the fans will comment and just be like, shouldn't have, I would have paid. No, I don't care. I really don't. Because this, putting a special out like this on YouTube is a long-term thing.

Yeah. Like, I will make money off of it. 100%. Yeah. No, I think you did it the right way is what I'm saying. It's like, I think it, because I thought about it. I was like, maybe I'll just do something like that. And I still do.

Put out like fucking 20 minutes. Put out like a half hour. Yeah. Just put it on YouTube. I know. They were like, do you want to do an hour? And I was like, let's just edit it and see where it's at. And that'll be the time.

We don't have to do a time frame. If it's on YouTube. How many minutes is it? I think it's like 48. Great. Yeah. Yeah, I've spoken about this too. Duncan Trussell and I did, we talked about this pretty openly about how like,

there's this weird innocuous idea of an hour. And you're like, who made it up anyway? It's not a thing that ever, it wasn't like, you know, an hour is the perfect. You're like, well, we have those segmented times because of television. Yeah. Television 22 and 45 times because of television. Yeah. Television, 22 and 45 or whatever it was. True. Of the blocks of half an hour and hours.

That's the only reason we have that in our mind. Yeah. So you're like, outside of that, some shows are better at 45 minutes. Some shows are better at an hour and 20. I mean, whatever. How long? Like, I love comedy, obviously. But, like, an hour special is like sometimes tedious

even if it's the best comedian yeah in the world I've never finished an hour in one sitting yeah yeah I've only one time actually Louie I finished Louie front to back in one sitting yeah but that was that was also pre phones okay that's true phones fucked up the hour yeah you're right I can't watch I can't watch television no I don't watch television without just immediately... Being on the phone. Yeah. Sometimes I'm watching a thing from TV on my fucking phone while I'm watching TV.

Like, I'll watch SportsCenter clips on... Yeah, watching, like, highlights of the game you're watching. Yeah, I'll be watching SportsCenter clips on Instagram while I'm scrolling through shit on TV. Yeah. But also, in a sick way, you're like, this is better consumption of my... Use of my time. Because I'll just get what I need. Sure.

You know, in terms of, like, of like that like small package chunks yeah because now i can i watched your special in two sittings because like i had time to chill and do it while i was doing something else and then it just kind of worked out that way so like i do think i think it's going to create a standard of being like well just do the the best chunk you want to do yeah and put it out and then see what the fuck happens. Yeah. Or even like material, I don't know. Well, that's become a big thing. The shit you're getting rid of or something. Yeah, just throwing it out and throwing it away.

Putting 10 minutes on. Yeah, I know. I think I should, I mean, I should start to do that more often. But it is hard for me just because you're like, I don't want them to see it. I know, I know. It's so funny. I've never put out anything like this. Yeah.

Material, like a special. Yeah. Yesterday, it was hard. It's like hard. It's nerve wracking. I know. It's so funny, dude. I've never put out anything like this. Yeah. Material, like a special. Yeah. Yesterday, it was hard. It's like hard. It's nerve-wracking. I bet. For like the first two hours, I was like, oh, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Were you, so, and did you make any, like any vow to be like, I'm not going to read the

comments and any of that stuff? No, I read all the comments. Yeah. I read every single comment. I don't know why people pretend they don't. Yeah, there's this, I used to fight with Rogan about that all the time. Maybe he does. He's like, don't read the comments pretend they don't yeah there's this i used to fight with rogan about that all the time he's like don't read the comments i was like really that's why i put it up i put it up for the thing otherwise these apps would just have a like button not a

comment section they're there i he's some guys are probably too big and there's like burr and even them i bet you they still do yeah they do it do. It's just when you're rich enough, you have the ability to be like, I don't read comments. True. Or, I don't know, maybe you get, because you do get number to them. They start to. Well, you know what's really gross? A couple guys hit me with the fucking exact insecurities that I had about it.

Come on, man. And they nailed me on it. Tell me what it is. No, I can't. I can't say it on here. Why? It's on there, isn't it? No, no, no.

It's just too deep of a cut. It hurts, huh? Yeah, they got me on that. Is it the comedy or something? It was about the comedy. Oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's funny because it's always something.

See, for me, it's always like- No, you're called fat retard constantly. I'm not worried about that. Yeah, that's fine. But if somebody hits you- I've seen that comment a hundred times. If somebody hits you on the fucking, like, the one thing I was worried about,

I'm like, damn, that guy got it. I want you to say it so bad. I'll tell you after. Okay, good. Yeah. Just because it's, look, you were looking for that comment. I was.

Yeah, a hundred percent. Yeah. You weren't looking for affirmation. Well, here's the thing. I would tell you about it, but I don't want the people that are going to see this and then watch my special see it also, you know Yeah, I think they'll be watching for the comments are overwhelmingly good. Also. The numbers are really good

So it's like people are liking it you like it and that's cool. That's that's it. That's the comics way people like it That's cool inside. You're like No, I promise it's not it's not I don't think it is but you said something that maybe is interesting Are you gonna keep doing some of that material anyway live? Yeah. I don't think I have a choice right now. Unless they want to come see me do 10. Yeah.

But I mean like. I mean I do have old stuff and stuff that wasn't in there for sure. Yeah. But yeah. That's always like one of those. Right now I opened. The last weekend I did, I did about 20 new up front. 20 up front?

Yeah. That's good. Yeah. And I'm happy with that. This. 20 up front? Yeah. That's good. Yeah, and I'm happy with that. This early on. Yeah. Yeah, because I feel like all these guys, like, you know, like,

Mulaney and all these bigger, big names, they're doing these new tours and they're, like, writing them off as, like, brand new material. Like, his is from scratch or something like that. I think that's a great way to be, like, I'm not in love with all this stuff yet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I wish I could say that for every fucking time I go out. I'm dude i'm in love with a lot of this not all of it yeah you

know because it's so hard to cultivate so much new stuff in between whatever else the fuck you got going on like with you guys writing gillian keeves stuff like are you is that a thing that you think you're just gonna keep doing i'd like to but yeah it's not like a one-time thing we'll see i don't know i don't know how interested people are in buying sketch comedy so i mean i think gillian keeves is more of a i think it's a good like real type thing to like show what we can do maybe because mckeever's writing and directing and doing all this shit yeah and it's just a nice way to show everybody like we're capable of making things maybe you know could get a spot with SNL. You think they'll let you audition with it? I would try.

I'll give it a shot. Can you imagine packaging that and sending it back to them? Lauren's seen all of them. Yeah, no, of course he has. I know he has. But you've spoken about him being a fan of you still. Yeah. Yeah, he's a nice guy.

Yeah, he's very nice. He's actually a nice guy. No, I said it when I tested, and he treated me so well. And I heard these weird rumors about him. And I was like, I guess maybe, unless he's a really good actor. I know. That was one thing I was worried about. I was like, is he a really good actor?

Is he like being nice to me so I don't like publicly backlash? Yeah, he doesn't care. You know what I mean? Yeah, I know. Sitting in his tower. He fired me. He's not worried about whether I'm going to spaz. Yeah.

It would have been funny if I did spaz. The spaz spazzed on me? It would have been funny to spaz when I got fired. Like, put out a video like, what the fuck? Like, red face crying. You fucking ruined my dreams. That is one serious regret, is how much comedy I fucking missed. Yeah. While all the spotlight was on me.

Just how many funny things I could have done or said. But also because I think you were struggling. We spoke. I was in New York. I landed in New York, and we were at the stand or something. And I was like, I remember saying to you, I think people just don't understand what's going on. It's easy for them to just be like, this guy's a piece of shit.

And you're like, have you talked to him about this whole thing? Or are you just going to throw a dart at the guy? Because beyond the idea in this day and age that you're like, did you kill someone or physically assault somebody? No? You said something stupid, maybe out of a context that should be talked about? How is there no room for that? That was what bothered me when I talked to you.

And, dude, I could see it in your face. You were shook, dude. Oh, yeah. You were like the first time I felt an earthquake here. When I was like, it was like that idea of like, is this going to be okay? Or could I die? I'll be honest.

The whole time I was like, I did know I'd be all right. Like the entire time I was like, this will be okay? Or could I die? I'll be honest The whole time I was like I did know I'd be alright Like the entire time I was like This will be okay For sure I knew this would be the new path Yeah And dude I only had SNL for like one week I had like one week to be out of

The world I knew I was gonna have It's like the moment you book SNL It's like they start the races They're like go! Do you see how fast they get? All of a sudden, no. Because the whole time, like, I moved to New York, open mics, all that shit. And then it's like, I'm just going to have that.

Look, I know who I am. I'm going to have to grind it out to have a career. Yeah. And then, like, for, like, two weeks, it was like, I'm going to be on SNL. And then it was just like, nope, back to podcasts and stand-up. And that was it. I breached the surface for one minute. But ironically, you would have podcast and stand-up even if you were an SMA.

Probably, yeah. It's like anything else. You know when you buy something new and you really wanted it? And then once you have it, someone's like, that's cool. And you're like... I guess it's not. Now that you say it like that, I guess it is gay. I'll take it back. It was like that car out front. He's got a nice car out front.

I was excited to say that. The fans always want to know what it is. It's a Nissan Altima. It's a nice Altima, though. It's the nicest one they make. You guys are allowed to have nice cars. It's funny that LA, New York... Where would you take it in New York?

Where are you going to fucking park it? I got a Chevy Cruze. It flies around Queens. Well, because you're not, because where would you take it in New York? Where are you going to fucking park it? I got a Chevy Cruze. It flies around Queens. Yeah, but if you had a nice car in Queens, where are you putting it? Nowhere. I always blown away,

like when I see, when I was living, when I was living in like the heart of Hollywood. I live with, I live with O'Connor and Tommy Pope. We live in one small apartment.

Like, I'm not going to, if I, It's one room. It's one, it's wall run. Me and O'Connor walk, I walk through Chris's room. To get to the other room.

To get to the kitchen. Yeah, it's incredible. Yeah, if I, like, flexed and bought, like, a fucking nice BMW and still lived in that, I'd be a crazy person. No, but it's weird to me. I remember when I lived in the heart of Hollywood in an apartment in, like, a one bedroom. And the guy in my building, I had a Hyundai. And the guy in my building I had a Hyundai and the guy in my building had a fucking Porsche yeah and I was like we live in the same place yeah get it together I think you know Josh out of my I think he bought a Porsche like right away he bought it

yeah oh yeah yeah but you know but I'm a car guy so he bought he bought the Porsche SUV which to me I'm like it's not a Porsche that's funny that he bought that it's not a hey it's not a Porsche really you hit him with that he everyone who knows cars a Porsche. That's funny that he bought that. Hey, it's not a Porsche. Really? Did you hit him with that? Everyone who knows cars. A Porsche SUV is you just got an SUV that was too expensive. Just get a Jeep. I say that shit because I'm a brat about cars.

When someone brags about a car, it's just not like I'm a brat about class. But when someone brags about a car, then I'm like, isn't he really bragging about that? True. It's like when someone buys a Porsche, and they buy what used to be the Boxster. Yeah. Or the entry level. I used to like the Boxster when I was a young man.

I used to think it was cool. Yeah. Which I guess is actually a lady trait. It's like a bitch car. Yeah. Yeah. Just in general. I think my mom used to think a Mazda Miata was cool.

Better than a Porsche Boxster. So when I was young, I was like, someday I'm going to get a Miata. When I was a young man, I was like, I'm going to make it one day. You'll see me cruising around in a Mazda Miata. All right, so look, let's say you do get unbelievable success like you inevitably are going to. What are you going to spoil yourself with then?

You've got to have something from childhood that you're like, you know, when I get big, I do want the thing. I want a big boy thing. I don't know. I've got to have something from childhood that you're like, you know, when I get big, I do want the thing. I want a big boy thing. I don't know. I swear to God, there's not one. Nothing? Dude, I haven't, I have, this is the, this is the same outfit from the special. I know, I saw that when you walked in.

I have one outfit. Dude, it's crazy. It's a problem. I have a, something's wrong. No, it's a good thing. I can't buy things. No, well, okay, look, I don't buy stuff. I buy, I buy like things that

i've always wanted that i'm gonna get a shitload of use out of yeah i don't like trinkets or knickknacks or that stuff i never got into yeah but i like dude if it's something i've always wanted that's that's for me i've always thought about it well here's why when i was young no it's that's that's not you don't even think you have to justify that i think that's exactly how it should be yeah i never had i never had you know yeah yeah like that's not, you don't even think you have to justify that. I think that's exactly how it should be. I never had, you know. Yeah. Yeah.

Like, when you start a comedy, you don't come from a place where your parents are like, no matter what happens, you know, we got you. Yeah. You know, so it's like, when you don't have any money and then you come into comedy and you start, like, learning a career and growing a business and da-da-da, then you're like, is it okay for me to buy nice stuff? Whereas all my other friends who work in the real world,

the moment they got a check, they were like, I get to buy whatever the fuck I want. Dude, I got my first credit card last week. I've never had a credit card. Fuck off.

I swear to God. Your whole life. I never, I had to get a credit card. Were you, what, would you just own a debit card? I had a debit card

with all of my money in it. So if you couldn't afford it, you didn't buy it? Yeah. That was my grandfather's rule. I never bought anything. You're my grandfather. I've never rented, I've never le, you didn't buy it? Yeah. That was my grandfather's rule. I never bought anything. You're my grandfather. I've never rented, I've never leased, or I've never done anything.

You're born in 1926. Yeah. Based on my language. These broads. Wait, though, for real. So how did you... Just got a credit card. So car, you just cash?

I just bought it. Big pieces of furniture, TV, stuff like that when you were young? Never. I never had any of those. Wow. That's incredible. Yeah. Would you take a loan from the old man or something?

No. I think I got like 300 bucks from him once in college. I had zero money, and I was like, can I get money? Dude, that's incredible that you never financed anything. I mean, now that I'm thinking about it, it's pretty wild. No, I've never financed anything in my life. It's also terrible for your credit. Yeah, that's why I had to get a credit card. Yeah. I never financed anything. I mean, now that I'm thinking about it, it's pretty wild. No, I've never financed anything in my life. It's also terrible for your credit. Yeah, that's why I had to get a credit card.

Yeah. I can't buy anything. Your credit score is like... I can't buy anything. Like a 15-year-old has better credit. I have zero credit, except I never paid my student loans. Oh, but that doesn't... So I defaulted on that.

That doesn't hurt your credit. It doesn't? No, student... Oh, nice. No, scholastic fucking debt doesn't hurt your credit. Really? Yeah. Oh, good.

It's a great law. Because that's why people are like, I'm not gonna fucking... Sure. Are you gonna clip me for trying to get education so I can get a job? Yeah. It is... All you have to do is not pay it. Yeah, or you pay a little bit, right? And then I paid all of it at once. Oh, you did? Yeah, once I got SNL. How much?

Oh, really? As soon as I got SNL, I bought a Chevy Cruze and paid my student debt. Bullshit! And then was back to zero, career-wise. In here, we pour whiskey. Do you like fresh ingredients coming to your door? Yeah? Well, HelloFresh is the best.

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I like gingers. What was the student debt? I got Chevy Cruz at my Westchester University student debt paid off. How much was it? Not much. I think it was like $20,000. That's a lot. Well, I never touched it once.

I never paid it once. Oh, okay. From college. That was all of it? Yeah. That was one big nut. I had a feeling I was going to strike something big. I was like, I'll pay this when I need to.

Boom. Publicly destroyed. What color is the cruise? Cruise is black, dude. Jet black. Hot. I'm going to somebody's funeral in that thing. Is it cool? Do you like it?

I actually like it. Yeah? Have you always wanted it? No, never. You were like, I like those cars. No, it was like, I have this much money, and they're like, you can have that car. Yeah, my brother-in-law works at a Chevy dealership. Oh, that's great. Yeah, so I just went in there. Is that where that pilot came from? That pilot idea for tires?

No, no no no that was my buddy steve his dad owns a tire shop for people that don't know i'll put it in the description but yeah tires is great tires is fantastic yeah that was so funny and it's a it's a it's a lot of the same guys that you work with still yeah all the same well right right right i mean but some like um all of them ste Urban. What's the girl's name? That's Peggy. Peggy. So fucking funny, dude.

She's in the blind wedding sketch in there. Oh, she is? Yeah. Yeah. Peggy's around. She's fucking funny as shit. But look up Tyres. Tyres is great.

Tyres is, you know, guys working in a fucking tire shop in the outskirts of Philly somewhere, in some slumland of Philly. It's really funny. You L.A. guys, dude. Why? Sweethearts. No, well, here's the thing. You're nice. Yeah.

And it's funny because I think that whole riff is not really real anymore. What? Like the East Coast, West Coast comics. You know what it is to us? L.A. and New York is the same relationship we have with San Francisco. We like them. Yeah. They don't like us.

Sure. They don't know why, but we're like, oh, we like you. Oh, I know why. Yeah. Why? Money. They have way more money than we do. New York comics?

No, San Francisco, I'm saying. Oh, you mean as a city? Yeah, I'm saying the idea of San Francisco hates us because they're like Southern California, douchebag, loser, Hollywood, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Well, that's it. Yeah, but we're like, oh, but we like all, and you're a fucking pretentious app-driven. What are some other things you would describe San Francisco as?

If you had to think of anything. AIDS? Strike that for the record. No, but it's the same way New York is the same relationship You mean gay AIDS? Is that what you're thinking? You guys hate us

No we don't hate you No no no but you do You do you always have But we don't We don't give a fuck That's the bummer for you guys That's such Dude that's not the case

You guys don't like us And we don't care I think New York has this thing Like we're better than you and we're like, we don't give a fuck. LA guys don't care about the way New York people don't like LA comedy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We don't care. You're stewing in your own sadness. No, but I think it's blown out of proportion. Oh, you think it's a lie? I don't think it's that real.

It used to be. I think comics- I think so. I think Colin Quinn and those guys- That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. But like nowadays I think it's much more- It used to be. I think so. I think Colin Quinn and those guys. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. But like nowadays, I think it's much more. It's one and the same. Yeah. I mean, you look at like our relationships or guys at our group or our level. Yeah.

Nobody fucking, nobody cares. But the Quinns and those guys from that era. Yeah. You know, I got it. But then I slowly watched it dissipate when I was like, fucking Bill Burr moved here. Sure. Like the king to me moved here. And I was like, it's not like I claimed, we claimed him, but it was like, well, what does

that say about this whole thing? It was just, it was just a way for the business to exist. It's just the most insecure people going back and forth. But I always did think, what if I started in New York? Cause I started out here. You'd hate LA. I would. You would hate LA.

100%. I know you. You would be like those motherfuckers but i do hate la i do hate la but i love it like tim just came out here yeah well you know and he's perfect for la tim is la i think tim's perfect for it yeah no no when he was saying when he was talking to me in the parking lot of the comic store it's great he was like i'm gonna move out here i was like you this is he has no business he's a monster yeah it's funny to watch him in L.A.

The guy bought a million-dollar house in Austin just to not live in it. Yeah, he's the best. I thought that was genius. That's a genius move. Yeah, he called me up, and he's like, I'm moving back. I have one pair of pants. Like a guy in the Civil War. I have one pair of slacks.

And truly one pair of shoes right now. Really? Yeah, well, one pair like shoes I would wear on stage Let's go shopping Where? I don't know They don't have a fucking big and tall in LA Sure they do

Have you seen what I have to wear? We got a Ross Have you seen what I have to wear? We need a big section of Ross You don't have to go to big and tall No, I'm gonna get another Notre Dame coach's polo Atta boy And I'll keep wearing that

Way to sneak out a win. It was on the road in Tallahassee. I'll take any type of win. Get fucked. You guys are a top 25 team, and you almost fucking lost to a nobody. Stop it. Florida State? Florida State sucks.

We'll see. I bet you they finish. They'll be in a bowl game this year. And they're playing their heart. Dude, Bobby Bowden just died. You know who's getting in a bowl game this year? Who? Everybody.

You and me are getting into a fucking... True, true, true. We're going to get into the shoelace bowl or whatever the fuck. No, I'm just giving you shit because as a Chicago kid, we're born to either love Notre Dame or hate Notre Dame. Do you hate them? 100%. Ah, you would.

Because everybody that loved Notre Dame bothered the shit out of me. Sure. They were fucking so annoying. And they're arrogant about it. South Bend rich people. It was so like... I get it. It Bend rich people. It was so like a... I get it. It was the worst.

You should see where I'm from. Where I'm from is Penn State or Notre Dame. And the Penn State people are fucking losers. This is all the fucking trash. Dude, so many Penn State guys right now in the comments like... All those fucking... Well, it's funny too. As a Notre Dame fan, a Catholic, it's hard to be like those fucking pedophiles.

Yeah, yeah. Paterno's like, I learned it from you yeah yeah he's a good irish or italian catholic yeah he was yeah no yeah notre dame had this thing for me where i loved the idea of notre dame but the people that were so in my face in chicago because chicago was like die hard notre dame i just couldn't do it i go when i go out to notre dame every year to watch a game. Yeah. And when I'm there, I'm kind of like,

ah, we kind of suck. But dude, the people. But it's stunning. The stadium. It's awesome. It's the best.

Everything about it, you're like, this is what college football was supposed to be. If they made it up in somebody's mind and they just printed it out on a 3D printer

and they're like, is this college football? You're like, it pretty much is the thing. Oh dude, a guy, I love college football. The guy I have a joke about in my special

about why Alabama desegregated their football team. That running back died yesterday when I released the special. Wait, what? So USC had a running back that just destroyed Alabama and forced them to desegregate. He died yesterday? He died yesterday. You did it.

I did it right when my special came out. Imagine he watched your special. I hope that's what did it. And he was like, it's enough. Wait, what was his name? Sam Cunningham. Actually, Randall Cunningham's brother. No shit.

I believe so. Or cousin. I'm going to go with cousin. It could be brother. I feel like the headline would have been. All-time leading rusher for the Patriots. No shit? Maybe I'm making all this up.

You are. I'm not, dude. No, but I bet it's Randall's cousin, not brother. Fuck, I forgot I just put that clip out. You just put the clip out, right? Yeah, I'm probably getting crushed. No, don't look. Everyone says I'm gay on here.

Yeah, they know. Everyone knows I'm gay. They're like, he's going to do Santino's mom. Sam Cunningham was among the most overlooked icons of the 70s era. Sam Cunningham... I don't know why of the 70s era. Sam Cunningham... I don't know why I'm just reading an article on your podcast. No, that's what they want. That's what the fans want.

No, but I want to know. Hold on. Yeah. Was he Randall Cunningham's... Cousin. You'd think they'd lead off with that. That's why it's not his brother. They would have fucking said it by now.

If you look at his Wikipedia, it would say... I know. I looked at it. I accidentally read an article. Fucking look at this is that you know i do this too and how did he die by the way do you know i don't know was he old he's old no no dude he wasn't old true no he was 71 um wasn't young i do they would have said by now. Professional career. I mean, he was six, yeah. No, this is not, they don't say.

He's his cousin for sure. It would have said brother in there. From Inglewood, baby, fullback. And he died on September 7th. Damn. You did this. Look, he was the older brother of Randall Cunningham. Wow.

And uncle, yeah. Uncle of who? What's another randall cunningham maybe i got the wrong randall yeah these are just guys no that's randall cunningham all right whatever i have a joke about this guy and he died wow dude that's yeah well you're like the uh yeah it's good the kiss of death comes and then the and then the redskins announced they were going to use a white corner. And I was talking about how there's no white corners. You mean the Washington football team?

The football team, pardon me. What do you think they're going to name that eventually? I don't know. I saw Red Hogs or something like that was leading. What? Red Hogs? Yeah. Which hopefully they do.

I think, ironically, as a comedian, the writing and naming of washington football team was hilarious yeah i was like this is like a clever joke like that's like a funny comic would be like it's a good response fine washington football team it almost seems like this such sarcastic retort that you're like god that's funny is that funny like well fuck it we'll just call it the football team then i know it's really i really loved it and i actually i like it i didn't want him to change it no because i think it's good it's funny that everybody that likes football hates change. So, like, we were forced to lose the Redskins. And they were like, well, we'll just call it the football team for now.

And now we're like, don't change that. It's good. Don't change anything. That is – We're not allowed to hit in the head anymore? Yeah. Taking away everything. What do you want?

What do you want us to do? Targeting's gone? Targeting ruled. But that's like – I've had a Black um i wore i've had a black hawks jersey on the show one time i'm i love i love hockey but i like the hawks a lot and and somebody was like like how gross of a white man to be wearing a and then i was like do you know do you know that same with the Illini, the fighting Illini? Yeah, the Seminole.

Yeah, dude, they've spoken to these tribes and spoken to the chiefs of the tribes and gotten approval. The idea that... Those chiefs better be making some bread, though. Big time. They got to be like, look, we won't make a stink about it. We'll give you our blessing. Give me, you know.

100 mil. Yeah, well. My brain, I was like, $5,000. What can pay off a Chevy Cruze? Although, historically, those chiefs were bad at business. Yeah, well. We're going to give you this land for a rope of beads. And everybody was like, let us talk about it.

And they turn around like, you guys won't fucking believe this. They're giving us Manhattan for some fucking beads, dude. That's nuts. We just got to, like, shake a few hands and whatever like ah don't drop the beads these are very valuable rare beads as you see a guy scooping it out of a burlap sack he's like put away the fucking beads no i think that that idea was very funny of a retort to because the redskins i knew they got mad my my sister high school, right on the other side of town, they were called the Redskins.

And they had to rename to the Redhawks. I'll give them that. I'm a big not-change type of guy. Yeah, Redskins makes sense. I hated Obama. I hate change. Redskins. Redskins is a rough one, dude. Yeah, I got it. When they were like,

this is not cool, I was like, I feel like this is, I get that. Yeah. Yeah, I got it. If you want to be offended about things, that's a decent one to be like, this one's not good. It just made the most. Redskins is rough. Indians, Cleveland Indians, let them have it. Except Wahoo, though, I got it.

Wahoo is wild. Wahoo is a little much. It's a wild logo. Just get rid of the fucking logo if you have to. It's a great logo. Dude, I don't like it. Pay some guy to do it again. Yeah.

No, that's all it is. But Cleveland Indians, but then you get into this whole battle of, like, what I also hated. And, you know, like, I used to go to every baseball game in every city when I was on tour, and I wanted to go to Atlanta, and I hated this thing. The Tomahawk Chop. Ugh.

You don't like it. Nah. At a baseball game, it sucks. At Florida State, it was fucking incredible. See, because you got, what do you have, 100,000 people? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Baseball game's like 32, maybe like 30,000, 20,000, and it's half done, and you're like, this is.

Sure, I agree. You know what that is to me? The wave. Yeah. Hey, stop the fucking, the wave is done. I don't ever need to see the wave again. Baseball games. I've never liked the wave.

It doesn't work. I've never liked it. Dude, it doesn't work. By the way, at a college football game, if it's in the big house in Michigan and there's 125,000 people and you did it perfectly, I'm sure it'd be cool. Yeah, but I like watching it.

Yeah, no, I'm not. I hate when it's my turn. I'm not doing it. Do you sit? Yeah, I'll sit to a wave. See, sometimes I'll just stand up and not put my arms up just to stand. No, I don't put the arms up.

I'll just stand up because I know I'm up. Just because I don't want some drunk jagoff to be like, hey, fucking stand up. No, the wave I don't even put the arms up. I'll just stand up because I know I'm up. Just because I don't want some drunk jagoff to be like, Hey, fucking stand up! No, the wave I don't get down with. I have a list of these unwritten rules of sports. I don't sing at church. Fuck no. I don't go to church.

When I was a kid, I feel like I used to sing. Did you? Yeah. You had to, I felt like. No. Yeah. Not with my family. You used to have to stand up and go,

and that was fine with my dad. Yeah, he wouldn't care. I mean, he'd probably be mad. He'd be mad if he saw me sing. Didn't your dad sleep in church? No. That was the old joke in my family. He would hit me.

Well, yeah. I would be hit throughout church. That's why he goes to church. Yeah. You're allowed to hit your son in church. He would slap me in church constantly. In the where? Back of the head.

Yeah, back of the head. Back of the head or flick. Flick to the ear or the neck. Oh, fuck. I used to talk about these, the crown cracks. I used to get those all the time. Starling, dude. Dude, I hated it so much.

And your teeth would knock together a little bit. I fucking hated that. Just being a father and being like, shut the fuck up to your son. Just in front of church. People in your community. People behind you. People sitting directly behind you just watching a dad like, love it they must have been like these people are out of

their fucking minds really they had them i feel like that was normal if i went to church and saw a dad slapping his son in the back of the head out of actual anger i'd be like what the fuck are you doing yeah but do you have your own son at that point? No. Because then you'd get it. Do you know what I mean? True. I feel like the dads that saw the other dads do it were like. Yeah. It's like a nod.

Did you fucking see that? Uh-huh. See that? Abusive done? You could have an abusive dad. Keep fucking talking. Keep it up. Keep it up, Riley.

You eight-year-old that I'm making sit through the homily. A 45-minute homily. Did you guys go every weekend yeah yeah you never missed huh dude i had to go during school too i went to catholic school so i'd go once a week in i went to church twice a week for like 15 years well 10 years wow yeah man fucking night out of church too much too much sure none of it stayed, though, huh? I remember it. You know what I mean. Do you have any spirituality? No, no, no.

No, I don't. I don't. But I like Catholicism. Like, I would identify as a Catholic, I guess. Still? Yeah. Like, what about it? What do I like about the Catholic faith?

Why do you think you would say... Yeah, why do you think you'd identify? Well, because I hate abortion, and what Texas is doing is correct. No. I don't know. I don't know. That's how I was raised. It's more...

It's like being Jewish. Yeah, no, it's not. It's like, no, they don't be... True. It's not like... Nothing at all. You're right. It's like...

It's like... It's a community. That's what I was brought up in. Yeah. That's how you act. That's what you do, all that. But did you retain Spirituality or no? What do you mean retain?

Like do you Do you believe? Do you believe? Do I believe in God? Do you believe in a God? It's a hell of a question On a comedy podcast Yeah I'll say whatever

The fuck I want It's my show The hard hitting questions Yeah What are you a columbine shooter? Well I know this is different Than Joe's show Yeah Joe

Do I believe in God? I think it fluctuates. Yeah. At this moment right now, no. Okay. But maybe tonight. When you're on stage? No.

That'd be funny. Right as you get on. While I was on stage, you're like, oh, my God. God is real, dude. I'm so good at this. That's when it would hit you. No, it's, yeah, sometimes before bed I'll think about my Lord and Savior.

You do? I'll pray to him sometimes. You pray? I pray sometimes. Are you fucking around? No. You're fucking around. Okay, I'll occasionally,

for real, I don't pray, I don't pray, but occasionally I'll instinctively hit an Our Father before bed. Do you? Just instinctively. Because it's been chiseled

into your fucking brain into the next day. Yeah, I don't know what it is. Well, because I talked about this with another comic. People who are very, very poor have religion, and people that get very, very rich have a similar religious thing. Because what happens is,

when you're poor, you want to believe in something. And when you're rich, sometimes when people get so rich, they can't believe that it's happening. In the same way that you can't believe you're so poor, that you're like, I've got to find a reason to make sense of this true i've watched i was middle class i was middle class right yeah but that's what we were my dad was poor growing up so he had that yeah and his dad died and all these bad things right it's like he yeah the

being very poor and being religious is pretty funny well it's but it's it's real we gotta find meaning to what the fuck keeps happening. How am I so fucked? Something's got to explain why I'm so fucked. But that's the truth. Or if you get so rich. There's a hole in our roof. I've got to go to church.

It's cold. Our house is cold. I saw a guy, a friend, get really, really rich and he got really, really religious. And I didn't get it. And then as I've gotten older with age, I was like, I do know what it is. He just wanted meaning to his success.

Sure. Because he almost felt like he didn't deserve it. Like guilty? Did he deserve it? No. Does anybody? Whenever somebody gets well off, you're like, that guy doesn't fucking deserve it

yeah this wasn't that good name the last time when somebody got really successful you went totally deserved Tim

Tim yeah Tim I guess Schultz yeah but Andrew is it's different Andrew was Andrew

like had the makeup of being successful before he was ever successful you know how Kevin Hart was like I bought a big house before I ever could afford it.

Andrew Schultz is the exact same way. Yes. Like, you know when they say fake it till you make it? Like, Andrew made it and then he made it. You know what I mean? He was very good at that. Absolutely. Tim is probably the best one I've ever heard.

Tim's very funny. Yeah, when Tim got it. I mean, dude, again, last night we were eating dinner. Yeah. And like, I couldn't believe it. The owner of the place was coming over. To like kiss the ring? Not to kiss, but yeah, basically to come over and be like, how do you like the meal? This is just, this is off the menu. We place was coming over. To like kiss the ring? Not to kiss, but yeah,

basically to come over and be like, how do you like the meal? This is just, this is off the menu. We got it for you. That's kissing the fucking ring. Stuff like that.

I couldn't believe it. Yeah. I think he moved away from LA just so those things would happen more often. Because if you live here all the time, they get sick of you.

Probably. They see you a lot. Yeah. So now that he gets to come back in LA. It's crazy. The king returns. I couldn't believe,

dude, I was sitting there like, holy shit, dude, you're famous. He's like, I know, isn't it crazy? Like he's very, yeah in LA. He was crazy. The King returns. I couldn't believe it. Dude, I was sitting there like, holy shit, dude, you're famous. He's like, I know, isn't he crazy? Like, he's very, yeah. I say Tim's the one.

Yeah, Tim is probably the one where I go, oh, that guy deserved it. I'm glad he did it. But most of the time when anybody gets successful, you're like, ah, fuck him. Yeah, motherfucker. They're on what show? Motherfucker.

Would you ever do TV shit? Yeah. I'm not making a reference joke about SNL No I know you're not Scripted shit? Yeah Do you have any desire to try or no? I'm not gonna try It's like

But I didn't try to get SNL Right that's the same thing Like I'm not gonna try Well you auditioned Yeah after I Declined like a packet And a preliminary audition And they were like come

And they were like just come do the main stage. Yeah. Yeah. Damn. And I was like, all right, I'll do that. You'll do that one. I'll do that one. So if a TV show says that we want you as a guy on the show.

No, if they were like, if a TV show asked me to audition, I would. But I'm not taking like, I'm not getting auditions. You know what I mean? But if you asked someone who repped you, you could. Maybe. But I'm not going to do that. Yeah, that's what it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You don't want him. Well, I can't imagine what show. Like, I don't want to audition for just any show. Right. Because I was doing that. You know what I mean? Oh, you were, yeah. I was just getting auditions, and I was like, what the fuck is this?

Since I've been canceled, none. So that's nice. It was only like a couple months of auditions. And I sucked at them. You keep saying canceled. I fuck it's not. I know, of course. But I don't know how else to say it.

Sure. As soon as I faced my consequences for my terrible life. I'll see people get canceled now and be like. It's still kind of funny when people get. Dude, when people get. Yo, that guy who got canceled and had to apologize during the baseball game. Who? Remember that?

Oh, yeah, yeah. Dude, how great was that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was like, nothing compared to the fags. Yeah, yeah, whatever he said. No, I think he said, fag, capital of the world. He's talking about Kansas City. Yeah, that's what he said.

And then the seventh inning, he was like, it turned out there was a hot mic. Oh, sorry. I apologize to my family and to the producers that entrusted me to make this shit deep. They fired him immediately. Yeah, but while he was apologizing, he was like, it turns out that was a hot mic. Oh, sorry. I apologize to my family and to the producers that entrusted me to make this shit deep. They fired him immediately. But while he was apologizing, he was like, my family, I love you. This will probably be the last time I wear the headset. Deep, long drive. It is now

3-2 Cincinnati. He's still called the home run. This is phenomenal. Did you ever listen to Harry Carey when you were a kid? No, but the only way I know him is from SNL. Because WGN was all over the country. So I'd have people that were like when you were a kid? Did you ever listen to Cubs games? No, but the only way I know him is from SNL. Because WGN was all over the country. So I'd have people that were like, I became a Cubs fan because of WGN. But Harry Carey, when I was a kid, I would vividly remember.

I mean, he would drink during the brawl. That was the one thing that Will didn't do with that character as a kid who grew up with him. He would say pretty fucked up shit. He would say wild shit. Yeah, because the day games, like Wrigley for years didn't have lights. Yeah, I remember that. The whole thing was we always were day game baseball guys and shitty day games

in the 70s and the 80s hot, no one was there, the team sucked ass, and... Just up there drinking. Then when Harry would come on to do day games, they would always show hot chicks. They would always, like, WGN still to this day is like, tits, and they fucking will zoom in,

you know, and then two girls drinking and laughing, and Harry would always be like, nice, nice day, good set out there, Satterfield. He would. Look at the tits out there. Look at the tits out there.

It was, that's what I wish Will had on the show, because he did it so well that I was like, oh, do the part where he was inappropriate. He did it all the time. He was like a womanizer. He did it all the time. Dude, he was drunk.

A lot of times they say you get too fucked up to finish the games. He would just get fucked up and kind of wane away. Dude, that's what announcers should be. I know. Dude, just a guy getting fucking ripped watching a game. Yeah, now you have Joe Buck. Yeah. People hate Joe Buck.

I don't mind. I'm right here. Really? I don't hate him as a guy. Yeah. I don't like him. Yeah. People hate Joe Buck. I don't mind. I'm right here. Really? I don't hate him as a guy. Yeah. I don't like him as an announcer. Yeah. I think his dad was great.

Tony Romo's nice. Dude. I like Tony Romo. This is a guy that surprised the country. Yeah. When they were like, he's going to be an announcer. Everyone, you, me, everyone you know would have been like, I don't know, man. Yeah.

He seems corny. He crushes. Yeah. Anytime I listen to him, I'm like, the best. Dude, when he's just like, third and five, they're going to hit a quick out. Guy bottom of the screen. He goes, now what? Right away.

He goes, keep your eyes on the linebacker right here. Watch what he's going to do. Yeah, yeah. It's awesome. And he literally does exactly. Oh, it's brilliant. That's cool. I feel like Peyton Manning wanted to be that guy, and Tony Romo was like, I'm going to do it.

Yeah. Because Peyton is really good at calling stuff, you see, but I think Tony is so keen that it's almost scary. It's savant shit, where you're like, is he a genius? Yeah, it just shows you how untalented he was. He just knew everything that was about to happen. Yeah. And still kind of sucked. He was ground level.

He was like, I know you're going there. I'm gonna try to throw the ball. Oh, you got it. You picked it off. Damn it. If I only had a gun. I fell. I've got all the elements. I'm going to try to throw the ball. Oh, you got it. You picked it off. Damn it. If I only had a gun. I fell. I've got all the elements.

I fell. Remember that? When he fell? What was it called? No, that was... Oh, no, no, no, no, no. This is a good podcast. This is what the people want.

Just two dudes drinking some whiskey and then going back and forth. They love sports. Going back and forth. Now, who was that guy? Trust me. The girls checked out a long time ago. Really? Well, they saw the thumbnail.

I lost the girls. Yeah. They didn't click. No. This is all buds, man. This is the bros. This is just the dudes now. It's funny.

I've done shows with my friends, and I can't believe they have girls in their audience. I do. I can't believe it. No, we do have a good faction of women. God. No, why? You have no women fans? Bro, none.

How? How? What do you mean, how? It's not like any of your comedy leans in a fact that women wouldn't like it. No, I think it's just because a lot of my fans... You did show one woman on your special. Yeah. Yeah, you punted...

There's ladies. They snapped on her a few times. A lot of broads. A lot of chicks. But it's mostly dudes' girlfriends who your special. Yeah. There's ladies. There's a lot of broads. A few times. A lot of broads. A lot of chicks. But it's mostly dudes' girlfriends who hate me. Yeah. Sorry you had to come. It's dudes' girlfriends who are forced to listen to the podcast in their car and just

resent me. So they listen to it and their boyfriend's sitting there like, oh, isn't that funny? He's talking about boners in church or something. And they're just like, this guy sucks. Yeah, but also, isn't it nice when you have a fan come up to you and go, and a girl goes, I didn't know who you were. I came because of him, but I actually really like him. It's very nice.

Isn't that awesome? Actually, it's funny. I was talking to Chris about it. I was like, I bet Santino has some ladies in his show. It's got to be nice. Yeah. Yeah. Because what usually happens is.

Chris, that's funny when Chris goes on the road with you compared to when it's with me. Why? When it's me and him, no women, me and him just get drunk and fight each other. Just fight. And not in, like, a nice way. Like, I'll see, you know.

Yeah. And it's always just something real subtle. Like, I'll see him sitting in the green room, I'll be like, look at you. Like, it'll just be me and him. I'll be like, you're drunk again. And I'm hammering. And that'll be a fight

for three hours. We're like divorced parents because we... We are. You're treating him nice, dude. Yeah. He calls me every time he's with dad.

Yeah. And he goes, mom, dad's a... Yeah, he's drunk. We're at the Albany Funny Bone. I hear it all. There's 12 people here. I wish I was with you

and Patrick Mahomes again. Oh. He'd tell you that story. Fuck yeah. This guy. Oh, were we not supposed to? No, no, no. No, no, no, no.

Of course, of course. I was saying this guy being like, nothing made me smile. I wasn't laughing out loud, but I was like, oh, I'm so happy inside. Because he goes, we go to that nightclub with Patrick Mahomes, and he's walking around. Wasn't Ezekiel Elliott there? Yeah. Get the fuck out of here, dude.

And he's never been, you can tell Chris has never really been to like one of these kind of clubs. Fuck no. By the way, I don't go to these clubs. Yeah.

But like, also, I've been to these with this kind of thing where like a famous guy's like, you gotta come! And you're like, okay.

Yeah, definitely. And I'll go and I was like, I gotta get the fuck out of here. And Chris goes to me, I said something along the lines of, we took a lap to get a drink and i was like man i this is like a fever dream like i've been in this place before that guy i've seen that guy a thousand

times you know what i mean yeah and he goes yeah and i could feel him wanting to talk shit but also like this is amazing you know like this was so cool to him and then i swear to god like a fucking father i looked at him and i looked at the ropes. Because we were like right outside of the ropes. And I go, you want to go inside? Like a dad. Yeah. And he goes, kinda. And I go, get in there, kiddo.

Go have some fun. And he did. He crosses into the ropes. And Mahomes was like, get over here, man. Get the fuck out of here. I watched like a proud dad. I go, go have fun, kiddo. And I just stood out there on the outside.

It was just fun to watch him indulge in like getting drinks poured by NFL superstars. It was fucking wild. I was happy for him. I was. I wasn't, I wasn't like, motherfucker. Yeah, it was cool. I was genuinely like, damn, that's awesome, dude. Congrats.

It's also, you know, you're not a Kansas City. It's not like you'd be like. No, I mean. If it was your favorite team of all time and your favorite player, you'd have been pissed. Yeah. Who's your favorite ball player? I don't know. I don't think I have one.

There's not one guy that you're like, I really want to kick it with him? No. Really? I don't think. All my guys were like old Notre Dame players that would be funny if I said. Oh, yeah, because you don't fuck with the Eagles. I do like the Eagles. Oh, they do.

I like the Eagles. But not. There's nobody that would be like, that guy oh yeah because you don't fuck with eagles i do like the eagles oh they like the eagles okay but not there's nobody that would be like that guy used to be carson wentz but he seems kind of dorky r.i.p yeah there's nobody cool there hasn't been like a vick that would have been fucking awesome vick how cool jimmy clausen that's my guy i love jimmy clausen that's your No, you know who it would be? Nate Diaz Okay Nate Diaz Yeah If O'Connor came back

and was like, yeah, it was cool we hung out with Nate Diaz I'd be like, I fucking hate you A piece of me wants to make this happen just so you can fucking hate me Would you hang out with Nate Diaz and Chris? I wouldn't I would just make

I would let Chris hang out with me I'll be furious Yeah, no I don't really I don't know if I have one It was always Jordan for me Yeah Athlete wise

And then I, you know, met him You met Jordan? Damn I played basketball again Shut the fuck up I swear to God You're lying I got it on tape

You did not play basketball I got it on tape Really? How? I got it on VHS You're fibbing I was 12 Oh, alright Yeah, I was a little boy

Alright No, I did No, I did We met, remember the time The weekend was at the store The time I was was 12. Oh, all right. Yeah, I was a little boy. All right. No, I did. No, I did. We met, remember the time, the weekend was at the store the time I was with you? Oh, yeah. I didn't know it was him. Well, he doesn't really.

He shaved his fucking head. And he doesn't look like him that much. No, I thought he was the driver. I was like shaking hands with like a white guy because he was wearing chains. Yeah, yeah. And then I came back over to you and I was like, I didn't know the weekend was a band. You're like, no, dude, that's the weekend. I was like, fuck, fuck, I missed him was a band. You're like, no, dude, that's The Weeknd. I was like, fuck, fuck,

I missed him. No, you met him, but you missed him. Dude, I shook The Weeknd's hand like he was no one. I was looking at the guy wearing chains like, it's nice to meet you. How big is this door? It's really nice to meet you. Back to this guy.

Well, you did ask me The Weeknd was a band. I couldn't believe it. They are a group, right? I was like, well... Well, no, I said I didn band I couldn't believe it They are a group right I was like well Well no I said I didn't know they were a group Yeah yeah I was like well It's a The Weeknd is one guy

It's one guy But he does have a band But it is a plural Kind of word you know You're not wrong Kind of There's three You're not wrong

Or two Whatever Do you listen to any of that shit I do You would never The Weeknd rules Okay you do The Weeknd's phenomenal

What do you listen to I actually listen to like rap Like what though Like are we talking like Modern or old school shit A little bit of both rules okay you do weekends phenomenal what do you listen to i actually listen to like rap like what though like are we talking like modern or old school shit a little bit of both listen to it all because i imagine shane gillis and people's heads they think they're automatic they're like he likes rock or fucking no no no no no i like rap you don't talk about it though no not really yeah it's interesting no why big music i don't know you don't want about it though No not really Yeah it's interesting No Why? Not big music

I don't know You don't want to upset your father? No I could hit It's uh I like the new Kanye He's pretty good Okay

I like Drake Okay I like uh Like A$AP Rocky I like those guys Yeah Yeah Very good

I like cool guys You like Travis Scott? Yeah I like Travis Scott Do you like any of the It's fine You like Lil Uzi Vert? I like Lil Uzi Do you like any of the... It's fine. You like Lil Uzi Vert? I like Lil Uzi Vert. I'm down with that.

I think that's Philly. Yeah. Yeah. Meek Mill, awesome. Meek's phenomenal. You like Gucci Mane? You like Gucci Mane? Gucci Mane, yeah.

That Diplomat's... That Versus? Oh, shit. That was phenomenal. Oh, shit. I used to love the Diplomat. What's your oldest cut from when you were... What did you listen to When you were in high school

The first album I was obsessed with Was I think it was The Life and Times of Sean Carter Carter Volume 2 Yeah That was the first one

So good But I was like This is the best album I've ever heard What's Did you DMX early Rough Riders The Rough Riders anthem

Rough Riders That CD Volume 2 Right yeah Was incredible The silver one Yeah With the R With Jigga That was on it Yeah dude That whole thing CD, Volume 2. The silver one? Yeah. With the R.

With Jigga that was on it. Yeah, dude. That whole thing. So good. Drag On. I was a big Drag On fan for a minute. Yes! Yeah, dude. Dude, how old are you right now? I'm 33. Oh, fuck. Okay. I was gonna say, because I'm 38. What was your... Did you have tapes? You didn't have tapes. Yeah, but

I started My music at the beginning Was rough I had two older sisters What was your first tape? Dude I had two Six and seven year Older sisters than me

So like I would get like Aqua Spice Girls I'd get like Hand me down tapes And listen to that Vitamin C

Vitamin C rules Vitamin C holds up Vitamin C rips That's so funny My first tape was Len Steal My Sunshine is phenomenal. If you steal my sunshine...

Song's great. It's so funny how so many... There were way more one-hit wonders when we were young. Because of radio, I guess. I know, but even still, Spotify is more of the radio than the radio was. Because you can put one song on on Spotify, and if it goes viral, you're straight. But I feel like... Well, you're right, though.

There's autotune much more now. Maybe that's... Radio looped it all day. Sure. So if you didn't hear it in the morning, you heard it in the afternoon, you heard it. Yeah, that's actually probably why. Also, I listen to that stuff. Everybody's gay. You know, you're gay when you're young. Still am. Yeah. Yeah. When you're a young boy, you're gay. Yeah. So I had no problem

being like, this Aqua CD is phenomenal. Yeah. Barbie Girl, and then there were some other... I used to cry. I used to cry. Bops on there. No doubt. Yeah, no doubt. It was girl and then there's some other I used to cry I used to cry no doubt yeah no doubt I used to sob to it dude I had a sugar ray CD when I was a kid sugar a rules course mark McGrath this is good this is podcasting 101 you remember this you want to talk about boners in church no no I just I all it is, dude. No, this is it. No, I think it's fascinating to find out what your old, like my first tape was Bow Down, West Side Connection.

Do you know that? Whoa, dude. You're hardcore. Well, you know why it was weird for me? Because I liked East Coast. Because Chicago, I never liked West Coast stuff. Dude, I swear to God, when I was a kid, I handled that like it was sports. Like I liked Biggie and Puff.

Yeah. And that was my team. Yeah. And I hated the West Coast. It I handled that like it was sports. Like, I liked Biggie and Puff. Yeah. And that was my team. Yeah. And I hated the West Coast. It was tough to like them. Yeah. They just didn't have the thing that I liked when I was a kid. Well, also, but I was a Nas fan, so for me, anyone that Nas didn't like, I was like, they all fucking

suck. Yeah, yeah. I'm ride or die with Nas. I'm fucking Nas, dude. If he doesn't like you, you suck. Like, when Nas hated Jay-Z, Immediately I was like Fuck Jay Z Yeah Ether Fuck Jay Z

Fuck Jay Z Do you ever listen to Ether again? Go ahead and say the next line Listen to it again No Sup No That one and

Shoot him up Or hit him up Yeah Some of the meanest Hit him up Is that why I fucked your bitch? You fat motherfucker That one hurt me

I was in like fifth grade. You know everyone in the studio was just like, what? You're going to get shot. Someone's going to get shot. You're both going to get shot behind the glass. Don't do that one. Don't say that.

Also, the editor, the engineer could have been like, can we take it out? We'll take it out. We're not going to tell Tupac, but we're going to take that out. Yeah, that one and Ether is like, if you listen to the words, that is so funny how mean it is.

It's like you rat face motherfucker, ugly motherfucker. It's just like, holy shit. Also, what was it? What am I, what is it? Well, in Ether, you no mustache, you haven't. Yeah, something like that.

With whiskers like a rat compared to beans, you're whack. Bro, that, he, Hawaiian shirts like you're having. Yeah, something like that. With whiskers like a rat compared to beans you're whack. Bro, that, he, Hawaiian shirts like you're, oh my God. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Also, there's another one, because I'm a hip hop freak. There's a guy named Boogerman who was trash, and he dissed Master Ace. Do you know Master Ace?

Bro, bro. Master Ace lit him on fucking fire. What was the song? was called just you wait oh my god dude yeah it's so hard to i mean imagine getting like i look at comments and i'm like dude imagine if someone made like a radio hit about how much you suck and everybody loved it it was like and everybody even your friends like, it's such a good song. It's good. I can't,

I'm sorry, I have to play this shit. All right, we got to go do shows. All right, yeah, nice. Look,

I appreciate you, Shane Gillis. It's been a long time coming. I am nice. Yeah. Yeah. I know you're nice. LA guys.

No, but you know what it is? It's weird to say proud. It's a shitty word, but I am proud of you as a friend and a comedy companion because of what you put out. I think it's phenomenal.

Everyone go watch it. I'll put the link in the description below. Thank you, bro. Please go watch this motherfucker on tour. Go see him. Go to Shane Gillis. Shane M. Gillis. Shane M. Gillis.

Yeah,.com. .com. We'll put that in the description and all that jazz. We end the show the same way. Look in that camera right there. One word or one phrase can end the episode. One word or one phrase can end the episode.

One word or one phrase. That's how we end it. You go ahead when you're ready. What? One word or one phrase. Look in that fucking camera and say it. That's how we end the episode. What the fuck?

What are some of the other suggestions? You should have watched. No. Some of the other ones are... I saw you loading up. That's it. Hey, thanks for watching the podcast. That's it.

In here, we pour whiskey. Whiskey. Whiskey. Whiskey. Whiskey. You're that creature in the ginger beard. Sturdy. Ginger.

Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are beautiful. You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse. Gingers are hell no. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers.