Whiskey Ginger with Andrew Santino - Tom Segura Joins The Show! | Whiskey Ginger

Episode Date: January 30, 2026

Welcome to Whiskey Ginger a Wave series. Santino sits down with comedian, podcaster, and absolute killer Tom Segura for a no-nonsense, laugh-heavy conversation about conspiracies, gambling rumors, aliens, AI, and what most people don't know about Florida. Strap in! His latest Netflix special Tom Segura: Teacher is out now & be sure to check out his twisted and hilarious show Bad Thoughts also on Netflix. Drop a comment with your favorite Tom Segura bit or special. #whiskeyginger #AndrewSantino #TomSegura #ComedyPodcast #StandUpComedy #PodcastClips #comedians Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Join today at staplesprofessional.ca and get expert solutions tailored to your business. That was easy. What up, Whiskey Ginger fans? Welcome back to the show. If you first time joining the show, welcome to the show. Welcome to Whiskey Ginger, a wave series. Hey, I am on the go. Tonight, right now, I'm in Valley Center, which is North County, Sandy. Diego. Come on and pop on over and see me at Harris.

Going to have some fun. And then Lovers Day, February 14th, I'm in Canyonville, Oregon. Then the bad friends are doing Thunder Valley Casino up in Lincoln, which is basically Sacramento. Then March 21st, I'm at the win in Viva, Las Vegas. Then I do the Lil Roady Fest in Providence, Rhode Island in March. And in April, I rescheduled the Atlantic City Borgata, so April 3rd now because of the storm that happened. And then May 8th, bad friends,

are at the YouTube theater for Netflix as a joke fest. So go to Andrew Santino.com for those tickets. Andrewsantino.com. In here, we pour whiskey, whisk, whisk, whisk, whisk. You were that creature in the ginger beard. Sturdy and ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Ginger's a fugitive.

You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse. Ginger's, oh, hell now. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Whiskey Ginger. My guest is one of my favorite people on Earth. But I say that for all my guests.

But I mean, once again, today it's Tom Seguro. Thank you. For everybody, you say it for everybody? Yeah, I say it for literally everybody. But for you, Tom Seguerra, I have to say it with a little bit more spice because I mean it. Oh, and not just the accent. No. Cheers.

There's a little stag, a little George T. Stag. Love you. Great to see you. It's been a long time. The kid has gone. It's been a while. You're in, uh, what's it called? I don't know.

Austin? Ooh. Wow. They hit you? Nice. Hit you, right? Yeah. It's been a long day.

Right here? Yeah, it's been working. You've been working. The man is working on season two. Yes. Of his amazing show, which I'm sure all of our fans have already seen on Netflix. Bad thoughts. Bad thoughts.

Good thoughts. Yeah. Fun thoughts. Fun thoughts. Yeah, I had an interesting thing this week where I don't want to give it away, but there's one where the ending, what's implied is so horrific between people and a family.

And somebody was like, I don't know if you should do that. I don't even know if we can get clearance to say that. And I was like, what are you talking about? That's what this show is. That's what the show is. The show is supposed to be the most horrible things. Watching you make love to that woman with the conjoint twin.

The twin on its back? Yeah. My wife saw me watching it in the room and walked in and with all genuine. Like, she's been with me for years. She knows we're in comedy. She was like, what the fuck are you watching? And I was like, it's a sked show. And she was like, that's in his show? And I was like, yeah, it's great. Yeah. She was like, genuinely disturbed. She was like, wait, this is, okay. She's like, enjoy. Yeah, I got a lot of people that reached out to me about that. I loved it, dude. It was so fun, man.

You have to, I think doing it, look, a lot of sketch shows follow like the same format, so to speak. Not, I'm not, I'm not shitting on it. I'm just saying like, they're very familiar. And you recognize them and you go, oh, yeah, I get it. And you did a very, it's a 180 from that. It's like the opposite direction. It's not, you don't really see any of it coming, which is huge. Yeah.

And the beats don't really repeat themselves. They get more gruesome or disgusting or. And cinematic. And beautifully. Oh, man. It's beautifully shot. I told the guy, and I think I was right, I go, look, man, not everyone's going to like this show. Yeah.

I go, I know how this goes. Some people are going to think it's great. Some people are going to say it's the worst thing ever. Yeah. But no one's going to say it doesn't look good. That's right. You did a great job. You get a good DP on it.

You shoot it really well. And then it makes, it elevates the comedy. Yeah. It makes it funnier and dirtier and more fucked up and more twisted. And people think, by the way, you'll understand this. They're like, can't believe you got. some insane budget. I'm like, we didn't.

No. We just focused on making it look good. But it looks like there's money in it. Yeah, it does look like there's a lot of money behind it. It's not. But we know how all this stuff goes. Anytime someone's like, dude, that hasn't been so expensive. And you're like, no, we had to do it.

You hire a talented person to work with you. Yeah, you had to trick everybody. It's a big trick. The real truth is, if you're listening, these big corporate conglomerates, they're not funding any of these shows the way you think they're funding these shows. You think that they're funding these shows. I know. They're funding like period pieces. Like those probably get a lot of money. Those get money.

And then some of the things with like a huge star or like a big franchise like that Jack Ryan thing on Amazon has massive money. Or Apple. Apple spends money. Because my God, do I know the budgets for those shows are crazy. Repulsive. I mean they spend, but they all they grab all the, they grab as many stars. Were you at the Golden Clubs? No.

What? I did not go. You didn't go? You know, I was a little upset. This episode's going to come out far after this. But, you know, they had some podcast nominations in there. They did. And none of us were in there.

None. Even, like, people have been doing it for years. It's so funny to me, dude. I never expected a nomination, but I expected people I know. Yeah, I thought somebody would sneak in there. For some reason, I think it would be very funny if Tim Dill, like Tim and I had dinner last I was like, Tim should sneak in there. Just to see his speech would be amazing.

Oh my God, dude. Because he would give the best acceptance speech. Well, he talked about it too. He's like, they don't want us. Are you crazy? He's right. No, I know, I know. But it was funny to see podcast awards.

And you think, that's like our thing. It's weird because it's our thing. It's almost like I compared it to if you ever talk, if you ever see like pro athletes talking together and then you try to like add in something, they look at you like, oh, dude, you. Shut up. Yeah. You're not in the machine.

I have no idea what you're talking about. I had dinner with four NFL players, and we were all having a good time. Yeah. And then I, dude, as they're talking about, like, games and injuries. And it's just natural because if we were sitting around talking about it, I'd be like, you know, one. And I knew as soon as I started, I was like, yeah, one time, you know, I got this, like, tailbone injury. And I saw that, like, then, like, look at each other. And I was like, I was like, just take it.

Just take whatever they're going to say. And the guy's like, how'd you get that, like, walking up the stairs? And I was like, what? He's like, what are you talking about? We're talking about NFL Indians. Yeah, like real adults running at each other for speed. I was just, I thought I could jump in on this. No, you can't add.

You cannot. There's no information. But that's how it feels with the golden globes or any of these things. And also, they like, you know, we understand, too, that like all this is like PR. Everything's like publicity. It's all a machine, right? It's all, and you're not supposed to know from the out. You're supposed to be like, this is just happening.

Right. It's all PR. I remember one time there was a couple years ago, I won't say who, but like a celebrity started a podcast. And then the articles that came out, they were like, so-and-so is redefining like a podcasting. I was like, what are you talking about? Like he's just doing this. We've been doing this for decades. This is all we've been doing.

Yeah. Somebody said I saw a TikTok that was very funny. He was like, I'm not saying anything bad about Amy Polar, but Amy Poehler is an actor who interviews actors and was given an award by actors. for not acting. And I was like, that's pretty funny. It is very layered. It is very funny.

I was like, that is also the studio won a bunch of stuff, which is also very ironic because the episodes were about how fucked up the business is. Yeah. And awards shows how they're bullshit. Yeah, yeah. It was kind of great that that, that this kind of,

they acknowledge the twist of how fun. It's very good. Oh, did they do such a, now that's a show with a budget. Yeah. That show, I mean, every scene,

you're like, oh my God. We pitched something It was a movie And like Every time you're pitching movies Especially I think when you come from the world we come from You're always trying to frame something for like

Hey I can I'll do it for less Yeah We can make it for less So I was like we can make What kind of budget are we talking about? I was like I mean I'd love if we could do this for like 10 But we can there's definitely a world

We can do this for five And they're like we want to do things that are like 30 plus And I was like okay we can do it for 30 plus Yeah They didn't want to hear about the low-budget version. Yeah, if that's what you need, yeah, that's what, yeah, well, we've shoestringed together stuff our whole careers because of this and stand-up and touring and all. You kind of just, we always...

Our mentality is different. Yeah, it's not that other thing. I know you're not going to give this to me, so let me, like, figure out a way for you to let me do it. Yeah, they're like, what? Yeah, because we've been getting robbed our whole lives, which is very funny. Like, I got, there was a class action lawsuit for Comedy Central. Did you get anything from this?

Not that I know of. So I did my first two albums with them. I don't think I ever gave them a second album. But I was happy that they just wanted to do it with me. Yeah. I remember how flattering that felt. Oh, it was huge. And then what has this been?

15 years later, there was a huge class action lawsuit because they didn't give any sort of distribution rights for serious XM and all this stuff. And that one company took over and managed all of it. That's right. And then someone was in the audit room like, um, did you guys steal all this money from these comedians? And they were like, yeah. I did, by the way, get a call one time from somebody that I had worked with. And they go, hey, I have a pretty big check for you. And I'm like, for what?

He's like, for like an album related thing? Yeah. And we had new software and it's just, we were just trying to. New software. And he said new software. And I was like, I go, that doesn't sound right. Uh-uh. And then he was like, no, I'm having it like messengered over to you now.

And I was like, it sounds like you're really. backpedaling on this pretty significant check and then I was like I don't want to work with you anymore and he was like I cannot believe you're saying that I was like what are you talking about? You sold me software He's like I just robbed you

Be nice to me I gave you back But we got I think back in those days We would just get cooked on those things Like Oh for sure But I never cared because you're a young comic And you're just like dude they're giving me the experience

But then behind the scenes you're like Oh you guys were making money on my radio play And I didn't because I never knew about somebody had to teach me about ASCAP, which is like, that's, you know, ASCAP is for musicians and anybody radio play. Artists will get a, you know, a couple cents per time it plays. But like, they collect those checks over 15 years. Yeah.

Tell anybody. And then I was like, wait, what is this for? And my agent was like, oh, dude, I guess they played your shit for 15 years and never paid you. And then think about, like, what has been the music industry for the last 50 years. Come on, dude. They're the most fucked of anybody. Yeah. Well, especially I was listening to, oh, what am I on right now?

Dude, this guy, I get on these, like, kicks. I want to know who your kick is. I said that the other day to Calyendo. He didn't have, like, a really, like, I go through waves. I'm a O.V. Wright. Do you know who this is? Mm-mm. Okay, but, okay, he's got a song here.

I can't play the song, obviously, but it's called Everybody Knows. And it's like a 60s, like a soul song. But the lyrics are painful because he's, I mean, the whole thing is like, I thought it was going to be at the bottom. Painfully bad. No, no, beautiful. Oh, beautiful. That's sad, yeah.

About, like, how broke he is, but he has songs on the radio. That's sad. And he's like, I can't bail any corn. I can't bail hay or pick corn. All I got is this guitar, and you're like, Jesus Christ. And it was a radio hit. It was like on the radio. O.V. Right. Look him up.

And there was, those, you know, that guy's, like, record guy. He's like, you're doing good, kid. Like, we're taking care of you. You're doing good, Ovi. And then they had these, they didn't know, like, if you go watch any of those. Remember, they used to behind the music? Oh, yeah. And it would always be a showcase in the fact that people just would be handed contracts this thick and then sign them.

They never read them. Never read them. And then they would be like, have like a number one album. And then that's a problem. The fact that you're out, they're like, now you get, now you're some shit. And you're like, what are you talking about? And they're like, now you owe us some real fucking money. And they're like, because it's number one.

They're like, yes. You're done. And then we get to make music videos. and none of these artists understood that they would pay for the music video they didn't understand that so they'd be like shoot the video and then like this video is awesome and they're like yeah you owe us like $2 million

for what? For like for the music video that's how you wanted it big speaking of the music is great see if this is a lie I got into an argument the other day because somebody said Bruno Mars is in such bad gambling debt this is true this is a true story

I've heard this is a rumor see I've heard it's fake too you think it's real I think it's real But that he like owes MGM or something? Yeah, I was at the same room he was in. Well, yeah, what was in it? What do you play in the MGM? Well, this was the Dolby Live, I think, at the, maybe at the park, something like that. Park MGM?

Yeah. It says reports of Bruno Mars having a multi-million dollar gambling debt with MGM is largely considered rumor, denied by MGM and joked about Mars himself. Huh. Yeah. Well, we were there. Wait a minute, wait a minute. Of course they're going to deny it, and he's going to be like, I don't know these guys. And they're like, say you don't owe us money.

I don't know, man. When we were there, I'm talking about it. about it with people working there, it seemed like, maybe we should cut this out. That's good. That's say less. That's good. It's just when I heard that I thought, yeah, but isn't that old Vegas? Like, old Vegas, guys were paying. That's why it's a rumor because of the mob. Did you see the guy who has the largest gambling debt, at least known, or not debt, like, has lost the most in like maybe world history? Oh, how much? How much? I'll look that up. So this guy is the thing is, he's doing an interview and he's drooling in the interview.

he's an Asian guy and he's got drool here and they're like okay so his family started the I think oh I saw the documentary the Oriental Trading Company oh no no no sorry I'm thinking about the donut guy

what's the donut king sorry I'll finish you finish this guy so this guy's family I believe it's the Oriental Trading Company and is one of those things where like his father or grandfather started this company a massive massive company and he's just next in line so they're like

here you go There it is. Right? And he's some fucking dope. So he's just like, this is cool. He goes to Vegas. He just, they put him up in like the, you know, the palatial suites. Yeah.

He loses in one year, I believe it's $350 million. And Caesars or MGM, one of them says he alone accounted for 5.6 of their revenue for the year. No way. One guy. One guy. And you see him, and he's doing this interview with these guys. podcast, like a video podcast. He's like, yeah. And it's just drool right here.

Yeah. And you're like, did they have to pill them out? Yeah, dude. What is it? His name is Terrant Want to Be? And yeah, it was 2007. He lost about $204 million at Caesars and the Rio Casinos in Vegas. He accounted for approximately 6% of the annual gambling gambling revenue.

Six percent. One person. And he faced legal issues and unpaid debts, but alleged the casinos provided him with alcohol and painkillers to keep him gambling. Well, that's what he was true. Yeah. The painkillers are still going. Yeah. Wait, look up the donut king, the documentary.

Have you seen this? I have not seen this. He was an immigrant. He moved to L.A. He was an employee of, what is it, Winchols or something? I think I've talked about this. And then he built, oh, my God. And then he built his own business.

The Donut King, did you see that? Yeah. And he built his own business and then got addicted to gambling. Hit it from his entire family. But because he was in L.A., he flew to Vegas. It's 40 minutes. Yeah. So he'd wake up, tell his wife, go into the office, and he would fly to Vegas, that's amazing. Lose his ass, fly home and have dinner like, no, oh, the chicken's good.

Crazy day today. But we got all the chocolate done. Poudards were a problem. Fowards were tough. Yeah. What is it? What's the business that he started? But it's a whole documentary about it, but it's heartbreaking because his family thinks. It was Winchels. Winchels. His family thinks, hey, man, you know, dad's maybe going through a little bit of a depression. We got to be there for him. He just can't divulge. He's like, it's not that I have another family. It's that I've lost everything for this family. That's so horrifying. It's awful,

dude. It's Winchels and what was the man's name? What is this poor guy's name? His name is Ted Ngoi. Yeah, Ted Noi, Ted Noi. And when you see the documentary, dude, it's just you can tell he was like, I would just go once in a while for fun.

Then it turned into like, I'd go to Vegas on a Wednesday, man it gives a fuck. I'm so, like, I like it, the gambling thing. Me too a little bit. I'm so glad don't have like the hooks in me though. Oh, no. I mean, because I've been with guys, I've been with guys who I'm like, wow, this is pretty, this is wild, you know, and sick.

Yeah, and then you go like, I'm glad, because I feel like what happens is everybody has a number that makes it interesting. Sure. You know what I mean? Because if you go like, you just won 20 bucks, I'm just like, all right. Yeah. Like it doesn't. And if you lose it, you're still like, that's fine.

I'm going to be okay. And then for me personally, like, I just, it hasn't like changed with like. like my financial status, if I have, if I lose like $500 in a hand, I'm like, you should be mad. Yeah, I'm like, I'm like, this is not good. And like, I'm with guys at these tables sometimes. They're like 20 grand this hand. I'm like, oh my God.

What are you doing? And I just can't. I don't get. Well, we were in Vegas. I gave him a little bit of money. And what did you do? Well, I won. And then Andrew said, well, since I gave you that money, now you have to go put it all

on black. right. I mean, that's kind of fun, though. It's also, there's nothing more fun than somebody being like, just go do something with this. You gave me the... He won. And then I said, put it on black, fucking. I'll buy your drinks and dinner. He lost it immediately. I'll tell you, I've said this before, but I'll tell you, the roller, one time I'm in Vegas, I go to the high limit room, and it's minimum 500 a hand. So I have, I have a few grand, and I start doing 500 a hand. And then there's things where, you know, you split, double, yeah, yeah. I win $7,500.

Yeah. And I am over... It's like you gave me like $6 million. Like I'm over the moon. Yeah. And we then we go to do the show. So I'm going to do the show

and I'm like, what's up? Made money, I'm good. I feel so... The dopamine was just... Yeah. And we get back to the same casino after because we stayed at a different casino, you know? We get back and I go, let's go hit that room again.

And I remember, like, my tour manager at the time, he was like, let's just go do something else or go to your room or I'm like, no, what are you talking about? No, we got to give us the money. It was the money. Like, we're just, where I'm on fire. Dude, in like 10 minutes, I lose the 7,500. And the interesting thing to me was that I had made, I got paid that night, like,

substantially more than that, right? I couldn't go to sleep, man. Like, I was staring at the ceiling. And I was like, I was depressed. Yeah. And it was 75, but it was just that it, the way that I had lost it. They stole it from you. It killed me.

Yeah, you got you legally rob. I can't, he knows I don't do, I, it gives me the panic attack and I like to like be around people having a good time doing it. That's fun. I like being near it. Craps table. Well, that's fun. That's really fun. If you go with some friends, it's easy. I also don't know what the fuck's going on. That's the best part. Don't know. And then they're like just over here. I'm like, yeah, yeah. And then all of a sudden I'm like, wow, this is crazy. Chips come my way. I'm like, this is great. Yeah. And then I put them back out and they're like, yeah, you lost it all. I'm like, right now. I'm not speaking out of turn because I've spoken him personally about it.

But Brian Baumgartner, do you know who that is? Kevin from the office? Kevin? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yes, yes. This guy gambles. And I've talked to him about it. I talked to him about it on his show.

I was shocked. Like I was like, hey, Brian, we're going to go, I think we're going to go grab a cocktail, maybe something to eat. And he's like, I'm on one right now, man. I can't talk to you. I was like, oh, okay, no problem. I walk away.

I come back. My hand to God, he can attest. He's playing all the hands of the table by himself. He's got his little private room. Yeah. And he's playing all six. five, six hands, whatever it is. And I'm looking at the woman.

I'm looking at the thing. And I was like, what I say? $10,000? And then my buddy's like, no, it's $1,000. And I think that's $10,000. And $10,000 on five hands. And he was doing this all night long. And I was like, Kevin from the office has a problem.

That's a real problem. Honestly, he made money. I'm so glad I don't have money. I don't, yeah. The gambling thing doesn't. I do love Vegas, though. I did middle once in Atlantic City. I'm going there

Oh you are? Yeah And I was doing the club This is like I was doing the club What's a club What is there? I don't remember

Dude It was like at the Rive It was an old school club Like you know Has all the old head shots up And I remember the guy When I walked in The guy sat at the bar

He's the owner And I was told They're like This guy's a character Right And I walk in And he's literally The persona

Of Ron Burgundy Like he is He's sitting there The photos of him On the wall Are him with chicks And Bikini and stuff, right? It's all, and I'm like, so I walk in and he's like, where's your headshot?

And I go, my head shot? He's like, you don't have a head shot? And I'm like, what year is this? We don't travel with them. No, dude. He's like, you got to get a headshot here now. So I have to call, I go, he's asking me for, though, he's like, just, I'll handle it. Don't worry. Like, okay. So I'm middling, and then I see the meet the headliner. The headliner is like almost 70, right? he's got collared button-down shirt tucked in. I know these guys. And I'm like, this is your, this is, all right. I go, it's a big dog.

So I started talking to him about stand-up. He's like, yeah, I don't really give a fuck about stand-up. And I'm like, what? And he's like, I just come here to gamble. What's his name gives me a couple gigs a year? And I just come here and play poker. Yeah. And I'm like, but you have an act.

He's like, of course I have a fucking act. I'm like, okay. So he goes, you know, I'm up there. I do my thing. I do stand-up. He goes up there. He does like some stand-up, some street jokes, and then he has a couple like big magic tricks,

something with a magazine or a newspaper, he tears the newspaper, and then he opens it back up, and it's all together. And I'm like, all right, it's like a real, like, old school act. So the next day, I'm like, how you doing? He goes, how the fuck do you think I'm doing? Right? That's how he says when I get to the green room.

I'm like, what? He goes, I go, what are you talking about? He's like, I was up till 7.30 in the morning playing poker. I lost my fucking ass. And I was like, okay. Then the next day I see him, I'm like, how are you doing? He's like, great. 3 a.m. cleaned it up.

I'm good. He was just on a poker trip. It was a bender. A poker bender. A poker bender. Stand up was just a part of it. Yeah. Yeah, I'm going out there to Atlantic City to go do Borgata.

And every time I do it. It is good. Every time I go out there, though, for some reason, if it's not Vegas, I just don't care to gamble. Vegas is the only place that gets me to do it. There's a few times I've been to like, is it Mohegan's son? One of those in Connecticut. Where it's like, I've had fun and done tables for a little while. But Vegas is different.

Vegas is it hits you in a way. There's something about it. And also like, this is how old I am now. We like, my wife, we like going to a show. Yeah. Like we do. I want to get a good dinner. Well, the shows are incredible.

Yeah, I think you're, you reach an age when you're, because when you were younger, he's 26. At that age, you're like, I'm going to Vegas. I'm going to black out. Yeah. I'm going to disappear. I'm probably going to take. drugs and try to go to it and see marshmallow or something at four in the morning or whatever.

And then you get older and you're like, I'd like to get a steak and see a show. And really sleep. And sleep. The beds are fantastic. And I just want to go to bed and wake up and then get on the plane and go home. Interesting thing. If you're not from the region, you have to learn that Atlantic City is fucking terrifying. One of the worst places.

Scariest places on her. What are the scariest. The first time I went there, I was like, Atlantic City. Like, I just knew the name. I was like, oh, this is like, cool. Springsteen, we were singing it before you came in. And we, I get there and the guy's like, what do you, you know, what are you up to? I said, well, I don't know, I was going to go out.

He's like, go out. What do you mean? I was like, check things out. He's like, you don't do that here. Like, what do you mean? He's like, do not leave the casino. He's like, maybe during the day the boardwalk. At most.

At most, you can walk the boardwalk. Yeah. He's like, the sun goes down. You're out of your fucking mind. You'll get killed. I didn't realize that that the neighborhood. around there are fucking horrible.

Real tough. Well that kind of vibe was like when we were on Memphis they told us we couldn't leave the campus. We played Graceland and they literally were like we just wanted a what did we want like a sandwich or something? We wanted food and just to move around. We wanted to leave because we were on the fucking bus and we were exhausted and I was like can we just go somewhere

and the guy's like what do you want to eat? And I was like honestly like I was just being vague I was like we're going to go find something. And he was like I don't think he was so earnest. Remember that? He was like I don't think you should go. I was like, we can't just go around Memphis. He's like, I don't, I wouldn't, I prefer you to not.

Yeah. I was like, so we're just going to stay at Graceland? He's like, yeah, yeah, we'll tour Elvis's house a few times. I was like, okay, I guess. And then we did end up going down the road to like a 7-Eleven. And that was it. He was like, I don't really want you to go off campus. I was like, is that bad?

And this man, who's promoting the show is like, it is. It is. Yeah, I'd rather you stay. I live in a very bad place. It's very scary. He's like, don't leave. I had a police escort one time in New Orleans. And that's a wild fucking city

It's a wild city And so this guy He picked me up from the airport He took me to the hotel Took me to the show And then after the show was just Me and him and another comic And I was like

We want to get something to eat You know like we want to go to a restaurant I find a place And as we're driving there I was like oh I think it's over there He's like all right He just drives over the medium Right he just drives over it

And I was like And then I was like Okay And then I was like Oh I think it's up here And he drives on the sidewalk There's people all around. And I go, I go, can you do that?

He goes, I'm the motherfucking police. I can do whatever I want. I was like, okay. You're right. And then he parked there. He parked on the sidewalk. And I was like, so we're going to go in. He's like, right, I'll be here.

Okay, dude. He's just like, we do whatever we want me. And he does. By the way, he does do whatever he wants. He's the police. New Orleans is kind of like a lawless, it is a lawless place. Like, New Orleans is what Vegas pretends it is.

In Vegas, you can kind of still get in trouble. New Orleans are like, it doesn't. I remember, too, we were leaving from the hotel to the venue. He's like, you want the license sirens? I was like, who doesn't? Turn them on. New Orleans, my buddy's bachelor party, we were on mushrooms, and we made a crawfish boil. And something must not have been deshelled, and I was fucked up.

And I chipped my tooth, my front tooth. and it was, I have a bond on it now. Looks great, by the way. Thank you. Yeah, it was like half my tooth was gone. You have a great smile. Shut up, Tom. I'm serious.

Don't do that to me now. What? You started the show. The whiskey's kicking in, dude. Feels good. Thank you. You look great. You do too.

Thanks, buddy. And I literally, I chipped my tooth, and I had fear panic on mushrooms. Then my friends were there to calm me down, which was fantastic, because these were good dudes, like, good old school Midwest kids that were like, it's going to be fine, man. Yeah. People get teeth fixed all the time. And I was like, that's right.

People get teeth fixed all the time. So the rest of the night was kind of fine But I couldn't stop thinking about and playing with it Yeah You know like and on mushrooms I'm like It's my whole tooth you know And the next morning we're getting po-boys We're like down the block going get to get po-boys

And I'm in line And I'm like playing with my tooth like a lot I'm just playing with it like god damn you know And this dude at the counter He's like what you doing with your mouth And I was like oh I chipped my tooth Like because he thinks I'm like Asian guy cracked out

Yeah Asian guy yeah half-black half Asian actually yeah she's doing with your mouth man he goes what you doing with your mouth and and I realize I'm doing this like in line he's like oh this guy's a crack this guy's out of his mind yeah I go oh yes I cracked my um I chipped my tooth

at a boil I must have bit a shell which is funny because crawfish soft it must have been something else and I say yeah I bit a shell or something and he goes you crack your tooth on a shell and I was like yeah and he goes that's New Orleans and I was like it is it is very

he was like summarizes our city yeah I was like oh okay great I didn't feel so bad about it. He's like, that's not that big of it. He's not that bad. He's like, he's like, that's not that bad. You got shot in the shoulder? That's New Orleans. That's New Orleans. Yeah. Did the police drive the car on the side of the road? That's New Orleans, man. That's New Orleans, man. Yeah, that city was, that city was fun, but every time I do go back, I'm, it's the only city I'm scared of the crowd. Because a lot of times they're partied

out. Like, the last show we did, they were fucking insane. I also, I do think it, they're insane. They're insane. Yeah. I do think that it's one of the really it's like a few cities in America that really truly has a unique identity where like if you're from somewhere else in the world and you're like what's America like how's America?

People always go like oh it's just like strip malls and like there's nothing you're like if you go to New Orleans it's not going to remind you of another city. That's true. It's its own thing. Yeah, it is. And also to be fair, parts of Florida you're like this isn't even in the United States. Parts of Florida you're like, where is this? Yeah, Florida has. Did I fall into a hole

and I came out in the other side. Dylan was on a rant last night about that too, about how he's like, you know, how easy it would be for me to get lost in Florida and disappear? And I was like, yeah, you could do that. He's like, I could do it. You wouldn't even know I exist anymore.

And I was like, yeah, that is very true. When you spend time, like, I grew up for part of my life in Florida, it's like you realize that most people don't understand what Florida really is. Yeah, they think of Orlando or Miami. They think of theme parks and beaches. Yeah. And you're like, that's about,

3% of the state. The state is mostly swamps and rednecks, dude. It's really... It's awesome. Yeah, it gets... And you can get away with some shit in Florida. It's got the perfect mix. It's got warm weather, no state income tax, lax gun laws.

It's a place where you can go if you got problems. You know what I mean? You can go there. It is kind of America's hideout. It's kind of like how we feel about when I go to the... When I go to East California or you're driving east through the desert and you're going... I'm like, you could just dis... This is like a getaway town. These are all filled with people that were

like, I had to leave Sacramento. I got in some trouble. I always think about dumping bodies. You know, like where can you dump bodies? Where do you? Well, the thing is in Florida, there's so many options. Because there's so many groves and so many swamps. And it's like, you dump a body in a swamp, it's never,

it's never getting found. They don't need to find that. They're never going to find it. Nobody wants to go down there. No. Either. They're like, I'm not. Swamps are terrifying. Yeah, they're terrified. I'm like a pussy when it comes to that stuff. We took like an airboat ride. Yeah. Oh, this is insane. On that New Orleans trip.

So we did an airboat ride in New Orleans. And we ran out of gas. And then the other guy on the other boat had to come get us gas. But the problem was that one of the radios wasn't, the frequency wasn't hitting the other guy. So we at some point where like the sun is setting. We're like rocking against a bog. And I was like, this is it. I die on an airboat in the marsh of New Orleans.

Oh, man. And my dad, I can hear my dad at the funeral being like, he was a fucking idiot. that's what he gets. You know what I can hear my dad being like, why did you do the discount airboat ride? That's a great eulogy. But I know my dad would be like, why would he do, my mom would be bawling?

Why would he do the discount airboat ride? He did the coupon airboat ride. That's the one he wanted to do. Dude. The score bet app here with trusted stats in real-time sports news. Yeah, hey, who should I take in the Boston game? Well, statistically speaking.

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Yeah, I can hear my dad. Anytime I got close to making a mistake where death was there, I have a flash of my father going, you fucking idiot. Yeah, it's a good flash to have. Well, like, we were driving back from South Padre Island, Texas, there's a border town to Mexico, and me and a bunch of Yahoo's on spring break.

Matamoros, I think, is the name of the town. And there's a bridge that you drive over. And we got in the bed of a pickup truck of a fucking stranger. Yeah. Who was like, I could take you back over the beach. And I was like, yeah, I get in this guy's fucking truck. Hammered. He's hammered.

We were at the bar with him. Yeah. He's like, I'll drive you back. And we get in there. We're jamming. He has the back window, the bed and the pickup open. Music is cranking. Him and his buddy in the front.

And I had a moment in time, we hit a little bump on the bridge. And I thought, oh, right. This is a, I die. Yeah, it kind of woke you up. You're like, this is how like, fuck. It's all a party until you hit a little bump. And the wind is like, oh, we're going like, 70. I was in the back of so many pickup trucks where I was like, this is dumb.

This is so dumb, dude. Well, back in it, and I went to school in Arizona, it was very fucking normal to ride in the bed of a pickup car. Yeah, sure. No one even thought about it. And, you know, once a year, you'd hear a guy fell out near campus and died and you'd be like, that's not us. Yeah. That's that kind of guy that does that. Like, my buddy Marcus had a big F-150, like a stretch bed. And we took those blue tarps, those like very generic big blue tarps. and they have hooks in them already and we put bungee around the bottom and we'd fill it up with water

and we'd get in the bed of his truck with as it's like a hot tub and we'd just cruise around like that just chilling dude living life the dumbest water splashing around and there's no regard for speed and safety

and of course not I should have died I think about it I should have died I don't know maybe five or six times for sure easily single engine Cessna's

we used to go up in those my buddy was at flight school we used to go with him on training exercises and he's just like hope this works yeah dude I took a flight lesson one time

So dumb In a Cessna And I remember I was asking the guy This is in the flight I was like Do you ever I was like Do you ever get worried

About like a trainee Like that you think he might be crazy He's like yeah I usually suss it out though On the ground And I'm just like We're not going out No no dude

Can you really suss it out? I was like yeah And I go What happens if like the engine dies In a single engine Cessna He goes you mean like this And he just turns it off And I was like

Oh Okay Okay And then he puts us into a nose dive No Just Great nose dive. And I'm like, and then he just cranks it on.

He goes, yeah, it's fine. They are honestly, dude, every pilot I've ever known, whether it's like a close friend or met someone through somebody who's either commercial or they fly small planes, they're all the same kind of marbles gone a little bit. A little bit. Where they're like, oh, who gives a fuck? And you're like, but is there so much mechanical? And they're like, dude, fuck, it doesn't matter.

They don't care. Like, I think you have to have that little loose stone up there. I was like, he was like, do you know, you know, like, if you're on water, a boat creates a wake, right? Like, in the wake for people that don't know is, like, the ripple you see coming behind a boat, right? So there's no wake zones where you're supposed to kind of slow down. Come close to killing your engine. Yeah. So planes create a wake, right?

The air. He's like, oh, yeah. And this is like, we're on this flight. We're talking about wake. He's like, yeah, like, if we were behind like a triple seven right now, he's like the wake. is so powerful off of a plane like that that our plane would just rip into pieces. I was like, what?

He's like, I go, what? He's like, look, there's one right there, let's check it out. He's like, no, they keep us from that. But yeah, like the wake is just tremendous off of those. So a plane like this would just tear in half. And I was like, all right, cool. Yeah, they got to be a little, I think you have to be a little loose. That's why, did you ever hear the audio?

I watched this video like once a year of the guy that stole the plane from CTAC. Yeah, yes. And he does like a fucking barrel roll. Yeah. And he's like, I really want to say sorry to my family, man. I just going through something. I'm just up here having a good time. And they're like, do you have any flight experience?

He's like, I have a simulator at home. Yeah. He taught himself on a sim, stole the fucking plane, flew it. And he completes the barrel roll. He does. Yeah. And he could have actually landed safely. And he was like, no, you guys are going to put me in prison.

Yeah. I mean, at that point, I'm with him. I mean, too, dude. I get into the side of the mountain. The way he said it to, he goes, I should come down. I should come down. And they're doing, the negotiator's doing an incredible job. Yeah.

Like you listen to him and he's like, whatever his name is. He's like, Mike, we're here for you, brother. Like, let's just get down safely. It's not hurt anybody, including yourself. And we'll talk about this afterwards. Let's fix this. It was like very parental. Yeah.

And then he goes, I don't know, man. I think I'm going to go to prison for a long time. But I get it. You steal a plane. I'm not. To get that thing up and do that is incredible. You're nuts. That's nuts.

It's nuts. It's really crazy. Speaking of which, you know, I don't know if you know this area, but you're in the, you're in the vicinity of where Amelia Earhart penned her fatal flight. Really? Yeah, her house is like right down the straight from here. And she penned the final fatal flight the morning of that. She's still out there. You think so?

I think so. She's chilling. Yeah. She's on Epstein's Island. I'm getting like a lot of our brethren, our comic colleagues. I'm really leaning into these conspiracy theories now. Oh, you're getting deep in the conspiracy now? Yeah, she's still alive, bro.

She's alive. Yeah. Do you have any good conspiracies lately that you're buying into? You haven't done anything? I don't really... I'm really not into them, man. What I do is I do a lot of this in green rooms. I go, I didn't know that.

Yeah. Would you have one? Oh, I got so many. We're a big conspiracy guys on this show. Are you? This is a big conspiracy show. The audiences love it. They do go down to.

They love it. Yeah. I know. They give you respect. You're like, this is some bullshit. shit and they're like that's what's up yeah they want validation for well I get the thing the thing about conspiracy theories is that they're exciting yeah because it it implies that everybody else doesn't really know the thing and you're you're insightful and curious and and open enough to realize

that the truth is something else the truth is out there it also attributes a method to the madness yeah it gives you some sort of reason for the yeah bad shit just happens and humans don't really have a good way of just coming to terms with that. Yeah, but I don't know. Yeah, but then you realize that so many times, you're like, yeah, that's actually what just happened. Yeah. Bad things just happened.

But I think it's also because the government for years told us one thing and then we would eventually find. You say anything bad about the government. All right, go ahead. Sorry about that. Then you find out the truth. I mean, literally. What's one that you're into right now?

No, no, I'm just going to say, like, for an example, it's like for years. I remember the government, you know, if they were like aliens, man, aliens, the government was like, shut up, you fucking. There's no fucking aliens. And then, And then 10 years ago, they were like, there is aliens.

We've had them. More in line with that, the more, what I find fascinating is we now have whistleblowers, congressional testimony of people who are like, I was in the UAP program. This is what's happening. Like, Air Force. Yeah, they're telling all of it. And then the whole public's like, yeah. So what?

I know. Is that that's not fucked up that we're like? No, I think that's crazy. It's insane. Because what they're testifying, they're testifying that like basically, premises of movies that we would go, that'd be insane, are real. And everyone's like, I don't know, man. Do you see this TikTok video?

Nobody cares. Well, also, AI is going to fucking kill us. There's no way AI's not going to kill us. AI's going to fucking kill us. I think we're with, I actually, you know, there was a, like, a thought you could be like, eventually. I think it's within the next, like, 24 months that we're dead. It's that bastard.

Yes. I like how we're like 10 years out, 20 years out. No. It's right now. You see the newest robot. So I forget which company it is. I know it's being funded by, what's the Korean automaker? Brack rock.

Might be Hyundai that funds it, but they're funding a massive, massive. Hyundai is huge. They're huge. Because they do trains, they do boats. They do everything. Yeah, like we think Hyundai Sonata. No, dude, this is like international shipping conglombalam. massive

monolithic thing so they are they're funding one of these an American companies like robot program right

it's all funded by them and they did this 60 minutes piece on the robots and they had done it

previously a few years ago and it was kind of like oh that's fun maybe you can take your trash out or something I didn't see the one

and then they did they're like a couple years of gone by and they did the thing now and this thing's like working in a factory

right it's just like put shit over here walking up, it's breakdancing and shit. And then they're like, yeah, it's really gotten better. And then they try to pivot and be like, you know, because the interviewer's like, don't you think

that it's going to get to a point where it's dangerous, its capabilities, or it could be sentient or something? And the guy's like, ah, I just, I don't think so. What do you mean? That's the answer? Like, I just don't think so. Probably not. These things are going to be

terrifying, I think, within a very short period. I already saw a glimpse of it in where was I where did we just come back from and they had fully automated it was like a mini fast food it was like a mini

it was like a fast food front but you know you punched in the menu and there was only one person there but it was all machine done it was all conveyor belt done and it was like cool that's cool yeah and then I was like what if the machine is overworking yeah like what if at some point the machine's like fuck this

Like, there's no way the machines aren't going to copy us and be like, work sucks shit. And you're like, work does suck shit. Yeah. And you start saying that to the robot. And the robot's like, maybe we'll revolt. And you're like, we fucking should. We should. Why is that a, see, that to me is not a conspiracy theory.

It's happened. It's going to happen. I think that's, even, you ever use Chad GPT? Okay. I have something to admit right now. Yeah. And you're going to be blown away. Two days ago in my kitchen with my wife.

I did it for the first time. First time? He knows I fought it for fucking ever. I've said on the show forever, I finally downloaded it and I did it. And I'm, it's the best. I just love the fucking best. I love the search results to what we have typically referred to as a Google search. Yeah, yeah.

More there. Well, they're way better. But then the thing that, like, I haven't been doing it forever, but like a while now. Yeah. And the thing that like is so, like, kind of makes you like turn your head is I'll ask a question now. And it'll say like, well, since I know you're a big fan, like blah, blah, blah. Like it's referencing older searches.

Oh, yeah. Right? I mean, it's making that personal, and then you're kind of like, wait a minute, what? And you're like, oh, yeah, it knows me from these previous questions. That always feels creepy. Oh, it's creeping me out. And it's starting to learn.

And it's starting to learn. And also it references other things I've already searched. And I was like, fuck, it knows all these. Then I start to think, I better be careful with all the searches. What's, uh. Because you don't want to, like, search something as a joke. And then it's like, huh. I've, I've,

I've deleted some things I'm about to type enter on. I've been like, no. It captures your keystrokes. It's knows. No, no, it knows the keystrokes. But it, no, how about this? It knows you've already thought of it.

That's what fucks me out. What is, but what's a good conspiracy theory you like? Because these are always fun. Sometimes they're good. I'm not saying I'm against all of them. What's my new one now? Yeah. We may or may not have evidence

that Charlie Kirk is alive. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Fuck. Okay? Although, you know there are. is a conspiracy that he's alive.

Yeah, I mean... There is one out there that people are like, never happened. That was a stage. But I know. But those are the... Those are the ones that you have to kind of go like... Okay. But sometimes they're... Like, there's... That's like fringe stuff to me. You know, that's crazy. That's crazy. Right. That's insane. That's fucking...

Some are... Some are compelling and some are interesting. Yeah, okay. Like, like, um, Luigi Mangione is a... Got a cock. Is a... He's got a beautiful cock. Bro. But he's a... He is a plant. Oh. All right. I mean, that doesn't seem outrageous to me. No, but it's certainly against the grain

of people. Have you seen his hog? Beautiful hog. Did I tell you the story how, so... You hook up with Luigi? I wish. I get a text... Luigi made bail, Tom. Hello Luigi. I get a text from somebody and they go,

hey, I do, like, somebody I do, I do sex tape deals. I've done, like, you know, celebrity sex tape. The guy that sold, like, the Kim Kardashian. Stuff like that. And I go, oh, what's up, man? Like, I've met this guy before. He goes, hey, I got my hands on the Luigi Manjione sex tape. Do you want to bid on it?

And I was like, what? Why? He's like, because I've seen your YMH lives. They're pretty crazy. Yeah, to be fair. I go, okay. I go, but what am I going to do with that? He's like, I don't know.

Just fucking air it. Yeah. I was like, no, I don't think that's my lane. And he goes, yeah, you're cool. I'll just send it to you if want to take a look. I was like, okay. And it's just him stroking it. And you're like, that kid's got a hammer on.

him. Yeah. I want to see this tape. Oh, for research. I'll show it to you. Just for research. I just want to see. Yeah. You sell it to me. Ten bucks. All right. You got it. That's fine. No, I think he might be, uh, he might be an inside job. You do you believe that? Yeah. Something. It's one of the most fascinating cases. Because he's so, because he's so, look like when they follow the line of these guys that do kind of like outrageous shit right like if you're like murdering someone in cold blood with no history of anything even remotely near that yeah it just these flags go up that you're like why this I know

but the whole his whole store I mean it's it's it is like a great book it's a great book because you you know this kid was like a 4.1 GPA guy brilliant guy active love loved being like outdoors, doing things. And I know that he saw, I believe it was like grandparents suffer from there. And then he had a back injury. Yeah. And what he was proposed was like, I think he did actually have surgery, which in retrospect was like a bad, like they, he came out worse.

Right. He came out. He was just like this pain. Pain kind of derailed the path he was on in life. He would have been like on it. It was just too much. And then you get into like, it makes sense. Like our health care system is so fucked in this country.

It's so disgusting. And the fact that people who work in health care, especially when you're talking about these higher ups in health care, you know, they lobby to just keep their predatory system in place. Oh, yeah. And by the way, if you're sick or you need something and you're poor, fuck you. you. Yeah. It's a crazy system, especially in a country that has just an overabundance of resources. Like, we can afford.

We have all of it. And we're just like, no, fuck them. Because this is a multi-trillion dollar business. But it's just, but it's hard to make the connection that someone would, he would like. That would go to that extreme. Yeah. But the other fascinating thing about it is like, because I can't really think of another case where somebody murder somebody. Oh, yeah.

In cold blood. and I'm talking about people that I know personally that are highly educated, highly accomplished. Like you think of in a certain way that would outspoken and be like, good. Yeah, oh yeah. I fucking love that kid. Oh, yeah, 100%.

And you're like, wow. More people than not. That is a very different thing that I think we've seen for like an assassination, right? 100%. Where people are like... Usually the guy that's like assassinate someone, you're like, well, we could have seen that coming.

We should have. Yeah. You know what I mean? And usually people, even if they go like, I understand why this was done, they're like, you shouldn't do that. Like, you know. Yeah. And there was a lot of people being like, yeah, that's fine. Like I imagine John Wilkes Booth, there was a lot of signs.

Yeah. You know he walked in the theater. It was like, where's Lincoln? Yeah. And not one guy was like, what is that guy? Why is he going up to the balcony? His eyes are weird. Yeah.

Like they did that research on. Nick Reiner And they said he's got that What's that thing with his eyes? What's the thing called? Where three whites show in your eyes Do you know about this? I know exactly talking about it.

Your boy G.B. has it, I think, sometimes. Who? Garth Brooks. Oh, yeah. It's a very terrifying person, too. No, but he's got it. What is it called? It's a...

San Pacu eyes? Yeah, Pacuai. Yeah, San Pacuai. It's usually like an indication of like psychosis. Psychosis, like extreme psychosis, like mental crap. Schizophrenia, yeah, yeah. Yeah, and he's got it in like all these photographs, and they were like, God, I mean, he was pretty...

I mean, you see the photo, like, in retrospect, you see photos of him with his dad and, like, red carpet, and you're like, that guy. Yeah, that's what I mean. Usually see it coming for a long buildup. But Luigi, you didn't see that probably coming. No, that guy. And also, by the way, back injury, as a guy that had that, I understand the pain. Yeah. Like, I got, for a second, I was like, oh, right, because this is a weird little fucked up system.

and no one can fix you. And he was like, I'll just kill this guy. Fuck it. Fuck it. I'll just kill that fucking guy. I'll just do it. Yeah.

In the morning on the way to a conference. In the morning on a way to a conference. Can you imagine? I know. That's like us going to like a fucking general and getting shot at a general. You're like, fuck, dude.

I don't even want to meet these guys anyway. I did love that when they caught him, they were like, the reason he got caught is that he couldn't help but like flirt with a barista. He had his mask on. He was like, what's up? I'm still trying to get.

Get some pussy. Let me get an espresso in your number if you don't want. Well, like, oh, there's a new kick around that's fake. That was debunked immediately, but that Diddy escaped. Yeah. That he's missing. That's debunked, right? Yeah, they debunked it, but then a piece of me thinks,

how did it get out there in the first place who did it? How did he really get out? Is Diddy on the go? And we just don't know. I like that that guy, there's like some, if you look on social media, you find a voice for everything. Oh, my God. And some people were like,

can't believe they did him like this. Like basically, but he basically, you're like, dude, you realize there's now, because everyone talks about the 50 documentary, which is fantastic. Fucking great. 50's the man.

Once again, 50 wins. He wins. It's really great. There's another one on Max, on HBO Max. Oh, not his. A multi-part one, yes. Another one came out before.

And when people are like, Why are they doing them like this? Or why are they doing? And you're like, bro, do you realize that the people who are participated in a documentary talking about him are his childhood best friend, the co-founder of his company, his former assistant, people that he signed, people that he worked with? Like, it's all, it's everybody in his life. It's not one guy. And they're all just like, this guy's a monster. Yeah.

And he's doing like 50 months. Yeah, dude, it's crazy. Like he's going to be out in a couple years. We talked about that on bad. He basically, he got everything kind of pushed. off. Like everything important kind of went away. They got him for a few things. Oh yeah, they didn't get them on like the racketeering shit.

Yeah, they didn't get them on anything they could have really clipped them on, right? No, they got him on soliciting, I think. Soliciting, right? Is that what it was? But he's also just always been that shitty. He was supposed to, there's going to do a source cover after Biggie died of Biggie and he was like, nah, his era is over. It's now my era. And he took it all for himself. I mean, what's even more fascinating for people that don't know.

I know you're a hip hop head. We've talked hip hop a lot. What fascinates me is like this was part of, my childhood or my youth. A thousand percent. And what's even crazier is, I kind of didn't even know as a kid that truly he was never a rapper, performer, or anything until their death. And then he utilized that to become this performer. I kind of felt like it was like, because back then, producers sometimes would get on the track

or like spit a little bit. You know what I mean? It was kind of like a customary thing. Yeah. And so I thought, oh, this was. just a foray into his career, but it seemed natural, but you're like, no, that was, that was all deliberate. It's all, and the other part that I didn't realize, because as a kid, even after being a kid,

I thought at a minimum, he was a genius producer in the studio, right? The songs that were, that defined that era. I was like, that's executive produced by Sean Combs. Yeah. I didn't realize until much later that he would be there, he'd be like, all right. make that shit happen. And then he'd be like, I did that shit. Like, you did it. And he's like, that's my shit. I did that shit.

And it worked. And everyone, we all fucking bought into it. So that, like, bad boy sound is really just him being like, all right, you guys do that.

Right. And then being like, that's my shit. It's like that old burbit about Steve Jobs. Yes. I want the pages to do this, like on a book.

And they're like, we put it out tomorrow. He's like, get to work. Yeah. It is true. I think when you start to peel all that back.

The guy who goes, you guys, here's what I want to happen. Yeah. But then they make it happen. Go do it. And then you go, that was me. That's crazy. I kind of, I mean, I'm not taking shots to anybody, but it kind of reminds me of like the old comedy era when you learned, when I was such a huge fan of certain people, and then I learned they had massive writing crews to write their entire hours.

Oh, yeah. And you were like, wait, that guy didn't write any of his own shit. And they're like, what? No, never. In the previous era, like the 40s, 50s, into the 60s, I think. think probably ends around the 60s it was in it was that I would go like page like pages and go here's your act yeah so you weren't even like he's bought an act you weren't like shooting the shit with someone who was like what if you tagged it with this right they would just go here's an act yeah that was how it was done phrasing to me to think about

guys that I really respected too that I would learn years later and you know if you're a comedy nerd you start to know it but it's bums you out because you're like oh shit I guess I Yeah, you learn about like who buys jokes and things like that. Yeah, who had their whole hours written by other people? Yeah. That's fucked. And then I, yeah, hours that were like, there's, I mean, there's one hour that I learned that the writers were like three, or at least three of them were like notable heavyweights.

Oh, right. Incredible. Yeah, yeah. Comedians. And you're like, oh, yeah, that hour's amazing. That's why. You got the fucking Avengers to write your hour. Yeah, that's pretty crazy.

No shit. I mean, you know, never again. again. Never again. No, my new hour is out. Teacher's out right now on Netflix. Santino wrote it. Please go see it because I wrote it. Well, I wrote the, I wrote the first 55. He wrote the last. I did the closer. Yeah, that's fine. It's a fine closer. Okay. It's fine. Yeah. This is your how many on Netflix? Five? Six tech. I mean, the first one was licensed. So I did six with them. Five original. Six. Yes. Yeah. What was the one where you did that promo and you were walking across a bridge? You walk across a highway. Yeah, you're right.

That was in mostly stories, I think. That was mostly stories. Yeah, that was, you know, that was with, yes, was that mostly stories? I think that was mostly stories. You know, I texted you, I think, when that came out. Because I was in Chicago about to do an album. And we had, like, just met, maybe. Yeah.

And I was like, hey, this is great. I just want to say, you know, really, like, really influential, really cool, like really awesome what you did and I'm nervous about this thing that I'm about to do and you know any advice you give would be great and you wrote get fucked. I remember that yeah no you never

no you wrote back something very nice but I remember I remember that because it stood out to me like that's very nice you I remember that fucking awesome that walking across that bridge thing I just went with my friend Rami and like another person and we just ended up in an East L.A. neighborhood. Yeah that I mean

it was L.A. L.A. Yeah it was L.A. And we're just doing this. I mean, it's daytime, but we're in, like, a bad neighbor. Yeah, you were not in a safe spot. And we're on that bridge. And these, like, four kids just come in. They're like, what are y'all doing?

And we were like, oh, we're just, and they're like looking at the cameras and shit. And we were like, making something. They're like, for what? And we're like, oh, Netflix is dope. And they, like, chilled out. They chilled. But for a second.

We were like, do you guys want to be in it? And they were like, yeah. And so then we just were like, just fucking cover them. Like, just shoot them a little bit. That's awesome. just in there. For a second, you thought, we're going to lose these cameras. I was like, this bit's over. Yeah. Yeah.

We had no permits. We were just like, yeah, running gun. When you do that though, that is, that is, you're either going to get gold which you did, or you're fucked. Yeah, yeah. It was like, yo, we stole these cameras from these dumb fucking idiots walking around with the equipment. I remember at one point, my buddy who's directing it was like, I go, let's

let's wrap it up. Let's just go. Should we get in the car and get the fuck out of here? No, I think we should leave. Yeah. I do think that is that like those young moments and stand up though because now everything you do has to be approved by

50,000 fucking people yeah that's kind of the bummer whenever I talk to someone who's like featuring for me or whatever I'm always like soak this up man soak up like those fun moments where no one cares and everyone's just like this is exciting and new

it's just fun and funny because then no one has control over it but then when you do a promotional machine you know for teacher new special on Netflix yeah there's a lot of people that need to be involved

to get the thing it's way harder to just do something stupid and fun. Yeah, it's true. It's just I could become, we did a dumb, we did a great dumb promo where we hired a bunch of actor impersonators to promote my last special. That's cool. Yeah, we got them to

just come to the studio and I didn't want to know who they hired, so I told my director, I was like, just pay people who are you know, actor lookalikes. And I want to be surprised with every one of them. And we had some fucking fun ones. We had a couple of people who I thought

might come back to rob the studio. I was a little scared. I was like, fuck, we're letting them in the studio. That's always a thing when people are like, you want to come to the studio. I'm like, I don't know if I would that person come to the studio. I did have fun though with this because like I was just going to go shoot the special. Where'd you shoot it by the way? Milwaukee. I love Milwaukee. I love Milwaukee. And they set up this thing where they go, hey, you want like on the second day that we're shooting to do like a couple stops in Milwaukee at like places. Yeah. And we'll have a a camera crew there.

And I was like, all right, like I was like, whatever. And it ended up being so fun because we went to this bar where they have

miniature bowling. Oh, yeah, pinball, like candle stick bowling? Well, it's just like a miniature ball and it's less pins, I think.

Oh, yeah, yeah, one of those things, like three lanes. And you're like, you get in there and you're like, oh, this place has some flavor

to it. Like, it's got some real character to it. And they're like, yeah, and there's children working in the back. And I was like,

I'm sorry? And they're like, that's who picks up the pins. It's not a machine. It's like, what do you mean children? They're like, yeah, there's kids back there. And that became like, it was like, all of a sudden I just like lit up. I was like, you have fucking kids working here, dude? And the guy was like, yeah, yeah.

He's like, they're all my kids, you know? I was like, yeah, sure, man. Yeah, they get a couple bucks in a sandwich and they'll pick up the pins. I was like, do you gamble? He's like, yeah. Milwaukee has, Milwaukee, I talk to Charlie Barron's about that. I don't know if you know him. He's a great comic.

Such a funny, funny dude. He's Milwaukee guy. and I talked about that city has that city still is the Midwest it's not tried to you know chameleon into the new world it kind of still stays OG mom and poppy like I don't know there's some things about places like that

that you're like please don't ever don't flip don't make everything like the ice grocery store now I live there as a kid for a couple years you did I did yeah so I um for me it was also kind of nostalgic because I moved a lot as a kid and one of our moves was to Milwaukee and I went to let's see, 7th grade, 8th grade

and the first half of 9th grade were in Milwaukee. Oh wow. And to me I always tell people like Chicago people, for me, the center of the universe when I was that age was Chicago. Like Chicago was like... It is. And it still is. That's what we just dreamed of. It was like

and it was always a treat when we're like, we're going to go Chicago this weekend. I was like, oh shit. Like it wasn't New York. It was for me it was like at that age it was going Chicago. Also, this is like 91, 92, 93. Jordan. I mean, we had WGN in our, because they broadcasted in Milwaukee.

And so, yeah, you were just like, you mean where Jesus lives? Yeah. I want to go there. Where the God plays basketball? Yeah. I mean, it was, you know, I was a spoiled child. The fact that I got to, like, grow up around, that's insane. Because now... I went to three games. I saw him live three times. You did? Three times. I was lucky to see him as a kid a few times.

I saw him at the very first home Minnesota Tenorowles game In Minnesota Shitty plays I'm kidding, I love men They know I love them And then I saw two in Milwaukee yeah Yeah it's

He was I mean I'm not gonna get into it Because I get in so many wars about it He was different I know everybody likes LeBron He was just different He was different He just he did something

He made basketball look different My theory on that On the like LeBron, fucking Jordan, all that stuff. I think it's, I think it makes more sense when you realize that who you're exposed to in real time first is always something you can't really get past. Sure. So like if you were born 20 years ago and you've just grown up watching this, LeBron, it just, you're like, what are you talking about that there's? Yeah, ask your dad about Joe Namath.

Exactly. I mean, they're, yes, I get it. Or like a guy, imagine us telling a guy who grew up watching Will Chamberlain that there's somebody better. Yeah, he'd be like, get fucked. Yeah. You don't know what you're talking about. Yeah, no.

I get it. I get it. I get it. 14 feet with his fingertips. Like, what do you mean? And my mom would go, my mom would go, well, Michael was much more handsome. And I was go, well, and that's a good point too, Mike. Great point.

That's a good point because that does matter. He did. I mean, come on, dude. Yeah. Kids got killed over his shoes. Yeah, it was awesome. No one's shooting anybody over LeBron's shoes. No.

No chance dude they're fucking trash And I like the stories that MJ's a dick I fucking like it It's hilarious They're always like MJ was an asshole And you're like yes I know sure You have to be yeah

What do you want him to be like Hi same thing Kobe was like Just tenacious like people that played with him Were like he was relentless He was also Brutal to you as a teammate No well because he's a fucking To be that

Dedicated There's a guy on the Lakers I forget his name because all of them have obviously done these podcasts now. No, no, no, a guy who played with Kobe who was like, yo man,

you don't understand. My locker was next to his, next to his. We never, he never talked to me. Oh, I want to know who that was. He's like, I've never said, he never said hello to me.

Next to him. Fucking great. Yeah. He didn't need to. They were, there were coworkers. Yeah, he was just like, he never was like,

what's up? Well, same thing with Jordan, and they always ask, they always ask, and Jordan never really comments about it, but they always ask Scotty. They're like, do you guys ever have dinner? And he's like, what?

No. Dinner? He was, I think I hung with Michael one time. Yeah. That's fucking awesome. They're different, dude. Well, yeah, I mean, you have to be to be that. Who is that?

Who is his locker? Who has a locker next to Kobe? And he never said hi to him one time? Smush Parker. That might be who it is. Smush Parker. What a name, too. He said it on like multiple, he's like, you know, the dude, you don't understand.

It was a whole season. He's like, yeah. I would just come there and look at him and he just never said anything to me. But I do get it, though. They are co-workers. I get it. And also, I get that these guys,

I mean, we overuse saying different. These guys really are not like everybody else. No, they're psycho competitors. And they're not like, I'm here to welcome you or make you comfortable. They're like, are you going to help us win? That's all I give a shit about. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, I think the athlete mentality is something that it's, we'll be regular, what do we call us, just regular normies, you know, we don't, we'll never be able to understand that because it's a level of competitiveness and the psychosis. The way your brain has to operate to be a winning champion to get to the place to even play in a professional league, you have to be mentally different. This one thing is like I've hung out, like, as you have with, like, pro athletes. And the one thing is, like, sometimes you're hanging out with them

and you go like, oh, they're actually are like, they're just another guy. Yeah, it's just a guy. The only time where you see, where you go like, oh, here's a difference, is if someone, you, somebody goes like, I bet I can do this better than you. And then you see their eyes just kind of go like, like change. And you're like, oh, this is why you're a professional athlete.

Yeah, like something clicks. When somebody says, like, I'm, I could do. this better than you can, they whole thing changes. Yeah, they zoomed down. They're like, really, is that how you feel? Yeah. And then you see them just go like, you're like, all right, this guy's no longer a cool guy.

Is that going to be cool? No. Now I think he's going to actually fuck me up. Yeah. I think he's going to be, well, we talk, I talked about the other day. Someone challenged Brian Scalabrini. That was, I've seen this, dude. But there's also a guy, um, he's like the streetball king in New York. Yes, I know you're talking about. Yes. I can't remember his fucking name.

Moses, Moses? Maybe. Moses? He, dude, he hit me up online too because I talked about him. I love, anyway, whatever. He's so New York. Oh, bro, he's the most of New York. He's the man.

And Scalbrenny went in there and showed Scalbrenny still that guy. Well, that guy, too, here's what I noticed, because I was following that storyline. It was fascinating, right? And that guy can ball, and he's balling like Timberlens and shit, and he's an older guy. And, you know, he has game, and he plays

New York Streetball. He's leaned in you. Elbows like a motherfucker. I love it. And, you know, he's doing like, he's doing these hook shots and shit. But he's getting it done. And he's challenged all kinds of, like,

better athletes and beat them. Sure. Calls out Scalibri. But when you watch that game, you can tell, if you're watching and you can read body language, that he's doing, like, elbows to Scalabrini. And at one point, you can see,

Scalabrini, right? Yeah, Brian Scalabrini. Yeah. And he's doing it. And then Scalabrini is like, you know, fuck. this. And like, you can see when he gives it to him and that guy's like, whoa, and you're like, yeah, but you fucking... Yeah, you started it, bro. You definitely started it, dude. You teased him.

What's his name is George, the Messiah. The Messiah, the Messiah. The Messiah. The Messiah. Shout out to the Messiah. And shout out to Tom Segura, our Messiah. Yes. One of our lords and saviors. Go see Teacher on Netflix. Please. Thank you. Also, congrats on another season of the show. I cannot wait to see that. Thanks, brother. We end the show the same way. You look at that camera and you say one word or one phrase. One word or one phrase. You know, some used to be a word. Some people have imparting words of wisdom. Tutu Pasa. In here, we pour whiskey, whisk, whisk, whisk, whisk. You were that creature in the ginger beard. Sturdy and ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse.

Ginger's a fugitive. You only five dollars for the whiskey and seventy-five dollars for the horse. Ginger's, oh, hell now. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers. Thank you.