Whiskey Ginger with Andrew Santino - Travis Kelce

Episode Date: July 5, 2019

Santino sits down with NFL superstar Travis Kelce to talk breaking the rules of the game, growing up in Ohio with a brother who also became an NFL star and Trav unveils the secret to the universe. SEE ME LIVE!!! LEXINGTON, KY JUL 11-13 SACRAMENTO, CA JUL 18-20 MONTREAL JUST FOR LAUGHS JUL 24-27 ST. LOUIS, MO AUG 1-3 TICKETS AT http://www.andrewsantino.com FOLLOW ME ON INSTA https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ FOLLOW WHISKEY GINGER PODCAST ON INSTA https://instagram.com/whiskeygingerpodcast?igshid=mztm4g3wy0gq FOLLOW TRAVIS ON INSTA https://www.instagram.com/killatrav/?hl=en For more info on the WHISKEY GINGER SIGN please check out the dope art of https://www.instagram.com/starlingear/?hl=ent Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What up, Whiskey Ginger fans? If you want to come see the Red Rocket live, check me out. The following dates, this is all I got left before I'm done for a little while. Next week, July 11, 12, 13, I'll be in Lexington, Kentucky. Come check me out at Comedy Off-Broadway. Then July 18, 19, 20, I'll be in Sacramento, Sactown, baby. Home of the Kings up there, dude. Sacktown at the Punchline. That is 18, 19, 20. Then the next week, the 23rd, 24th, 25th, and 26th, I'll be at the Montreal Just for Laughs Comedy Festival. I'll be doing one live Whiskey Ginger, two other live performances of just stand-up. Go to andrewsantino.com for all this ticket information. And then the final week, I'll be on the road August 1, 2, 3, St. Louis. I'll be in St. Louis under the arch, baby,

at Helium in St. Louis. Check me out. Go to andrewsantino.com. Have a fun and safe 4th of July. America, America, America, do the right thing. Don't blow your hand off, baby. Enjoy the episode. In here, we pour whisk, whisk, whisk, whisk, whisk. You're that creature in the ginger beard. Sturdy and ginger. Like vampires, the back to Whiskey Ginger. My guest today is one of my favorite people on earth. I say that for all my guests, but I mean it once again. Today, it's Travis Kelsey, ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Whiskey Ginger. My guest today is one of my favorite people on earth. I say that for all my guests, but I mean it once again. Today, it's Travis Kelsey, ladies and gentlemen.

NFL superstar, sex symbol, my boy. Cheers to you, brother. Cheers, brother. Clink. Cheers. Always good. Always good. Today, we're sipping on a little bit of Eagle Rare.

And our boy Chris is in the room, too, but you can't see him. Just shout real quick. Maybe they'll hear you. Hello. Jesus Christ. Hello. It's a group of red-haired men. Rag tag, red-headed men.

You're half ginger. You're not real full ginger. No, no. I don't even know how I really came about. I just randomly, as the beard grows longer, it gets redder. I'm just like, I don't know. Yeah, but when you grow your hair out, it's brown, brown. you got a little bit of irish love in you yeah but you're not barbecue sauce i think when i was younger so it is yeah you're not even irish though are you uh

i don't know man there's a lot of there's there's a there's a weird like ancestry like theory of a guy coming over on a boat just and it was a it was a bunch of irish people but he was like a he was a he jumped ship and got on the irish boat and somebody somebody named matt kelsey died on the boat and he was really hungarian and like welsh or something like that and he's like he's like oh he got to the land he's like yeah my name is matt kelsey because matt kelsey had died so he just took his name damn your family of fucking name stealers yeah either that or a bunch of fucking liars yeah good well bro either way who knows that's the kind of thing like my I think I've told this before my from what I know every

time I meet someone they go Santino that's that's my first name or that's my someone's it's rarely a last name it's usually a first name from what we've heard is my family's last name wasn't Santino it was somebody's name and then it got transferred over at the border somehow

that it'd be like what was surname and didn't know what last name and first name was so it was just like oh Santino Santino Santino

and that was it so I don't even fucking know the only thing I do know is we went to Sicily oh nice to see where my dad's family was from and they said So I don't even fucking know. The only thing I do know is we went to Sicily. Oh, nice. To see where my dad's family was from. And they said, Kachamo.

And so I'm like, I'm going to Kachamo. And then when I got there, they said it was Kakamo. I was like, fuck, dude. I told the dude, I was like, yeah, we're going to see Kachamo. He was like, you mean Kakamo? I was like, no, no, Kachamo. He's like, no, no, it's a Kakamo. I was like, all right, motherfucker. Cool like it's a kakamo I was like

alright motherfucker cool it out pasta head you know don't come at me marinara motherfucker I was like these dudes are trying

to show me make fun of me he was like no he's kakamo and he's telling his friend he's like talking shit about me not knowing

this guy doesn't know a thing yeah he was like he doesn't know shit about where his family's from like yeah bitch we don't. Americans have no fucking. Most Americans have no fucking idea where their lineage is.

Nope. No. And then 23andMe it and fuck that. I'm not doing that. Ancestry.com. I'm not giving them my blood. Would you do that shit? Nope.

No fucking way. Nope. I can't believe people send in their blood and fingerprints and are like, I just want to know where my great granddad's from. Like, dude. There's no way. I'm not giving them my blood. There's no way they can really trace that. Because they're going to clone you, bro. Is that what where my great-granddad's from. Like, dude. There's no way. I'm not giving him my blood. There's no way they can really trace that.

Because they're going to clone you, bro. Is that what it is? They're cloning you. I wouldn't mind running into a clone of me. Another Trav in the streets? Just say, hey. For real, though. You know what's creepy is the Raptors, not the Raptors anymore,

but Jonas Valanciunas, seven-footer. I saw him play in person, looked at him eye to eye, and was like, that's me at seven feet. Looked exactly like you. Looked exactly like, so creepy like I was in the mirror, man. Valanciunas? Valanciunas. Yeah, then at that point, I knew I was Lithuanian at some point,

some area. Yeah, you got some Viking rape inside of you somehow because you're a big boy. And your brother's a fucking big boy. Oh, you big boy. For any of the dumb people that don't know, Trav is a phenomenal athlete who happens to play for a small little NFL team, little tiny team called the Chefs. Chefs? Yes.

The Kansas City Chiefs. Your boy is a tight end for the Chefs. Chefs? Yes. The Kansas City. Kansas City Chefs. Chiefs. Chiefs. Your boy is a tight end for the Chefs. His brother was a, I say it was, is a Super Bowl champion. You can't say was, right?

Once you win it, you are. You are for the rest of your fucking life. And got himself a ring with the Philly Eagles, bro. Fucking hell's home over there in Philly. Fuck it, bro. Fucking, you know how we doing. Fucking Philly, bro. Get a fucking cheeseste in Philly. Fuck it, bro. Fucking you know how we doing. Fucking Philly, bro. Get a fucking cheesesteak.

And half of the dudes on the comments will be like, that ain't sound like us, dude. Fuck you, bro. It's like, yeah, it sounds just like you, dog. Get some water. Drink some water. Anyway, a family lineage. Your old man never played football, though. No, no.

I mean, high school. But even then, he went to a powerhouse, so I don't think he really played. He definitely didn't, like, he wasn't a standout. Right. He was a baseball guy. And even then, I don't know if he really, like, had more talent than anyone else at that. Sure. What I got from my pops was mentally, like, his artistic ability of, like, taking information and turning it into his own like

right madness right is your what's your is your mom this is similar in the fucking uh athletic world is she she was an athlete she was huh yeah she was she could run like a gazelle um grew up in a time where it wasn't uh the old women's rights Yeah, not a lot of women in sports back then, huh? Yeah, no. So she didn't necessarily get her opportunity to showcase that as much as maybe she had wanted to. Yeah. Well, it's kind of like someone was talking to me,

you know, the Women's World Cup is on right now. Is it the World Cup? Yeah. It is, right? World Cup. Ignorant, so ignorant. What is it? What are the girls doing?

What are the ladies up to right now? Gymnastics? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's tennis, tennis right that's all they're allowed to play but the women's world cup was going on and bro they were like someone was saying i was asking to do it on the airplane i was like dude why are the usa girls so good he had a like a usa shirt on this motherfucker was watching on the plane he was so like deep and he was like bro usa is so good because we we've allowed women to play sports for much longer than most of the world. And I was like, that is crazy.

That's nice. So many countries around the world, like women could only fucking be outside for like an hour in certain places where you're like, all right, bitch, noon to one is sun time. And then back in the cave. So he was like, dude, people don't get to, he's like, women don't have, in so many many countries women never got the opportunity to even try to play sports and so that's why he was like that's why the USA women's team is so dominatory

there's not there is no programs for women around the world and half of the world to be able to even fucking want to engage you know we've evolved

yeah well I mean they're coming around sooner or later everyone's gonna catch up when they all realize it's fucking bananas to not let women do all the same shit

I'm down my fucking my wife asked me tonight she was like what if i made more money than you i was like do it fucking buck up that's what happened in my my household my mom made more than she did yeah really she's no she held it down was it a was it a was it a flip like he used to make more money and then she made more money um no i think uh yeah actually it might have been in the early ages like when i was like real, real young. Once we moved closer to the city, it was because my mom got a bigger job downtown working at a bank.

What city was it? Cleveland, east side of Cleveland. Yeah, no Cleveland, but what town was it? North Ridgeville to Cleveland Heights. Cleveland Heights. Ridgeville to Cleveland Heights, baby. Yeah, I know it was the Cleveland move, but I didn't know what little... Because Cleveland is funny, man.

Anybody I know from Cleveland, they're from a little nooky area of Cleveland. I've never met somebody from actual Cleveland. I could ramble off everyone, but it's... Go ahead. Who's some cats from Cleveland, Cleveland? From Cleveland? Yeah, that we know. From Cleveland, Cleveland that you would know?

Who's famous that I know from Cleveland? Ted Ginn, maybe. Ted Ginn, okay, yeah. Ted Ginn. Steve Harveyinn okay yeah Ted Ginn Steve Harvey Steve Harvey's a Cleveland Steve Harvey Family Feud

yes love love Kings of Comedy you know his mustache comes off you know that he puts it he puts it in a box

at night that's hilarious show me titties dude I love that fucking dude we watch Family Feud to a degree that's unhealthy. Ask her. Ask her when we leave this.

I love that fucking show. The Game Show Network? I love that. It's on like four syndicated channels. I watch the fuck out of Family Feud. Just because he, Steve inherently will always be nicer to the black family because it's always a black family versus a white family. And he's always so nice to the black family.

Like they'll guess a terrible answer. You know, it'll be like, it'll be like, favorite spots to vacation to, you know,

and they'll be like, Tennessee, Tennessee. And he's like, okay, play a show me Tennessee. But whenever a white person has like a terrible guess,

he does that face where he, that Steve Harvey face where he's like, she said, show me a talk about tennessee and the crowd loses it and of course it's you know he shits on the white families and it's my favorite thing in the world and when hey when a black family wins he's always he's always like it's like and he like gets all amped up with them and shit when a white family wins he goes right to the black family throws the card

yeah he throws the cards he goes to the white he goes the shit. When a white family wins, he goes right to the black family. Throws the cards. Yeah, he throws the cards. He goes to the black family if a white family wins and he goes, I'm sorry, man. Good game. It was like he lost too. I love Steve.

Steve's the fucking best. All right, so there are some Casey people. So what did mom do when you moved to the city? I mean, Cleveland people. What was the job shift? So my mom was, I think she was always working in the bank.

She just went up into a new area of banking. High-level banking. High-level banking, yes. She ever think about robbing that bitch? Oh, man, I'm pretty sure it's probably cross her mind once or twice. I'm a delinquent, dude. There's no way I would want to rob a fucking bank. Wouldn't you definitely want to rob a fucking bank?

I know a few guys that actually worked with money in their hands, and they're like, yeah, dude, I definitely took a few dollars. You have to right? Yeah, for sure. My first job was McDonald's I used to rob the fuck out of McDonald's, bro. Shout out to McDonald's. Thank you for the first job for real, though You guys are fantastic, but I did definitely steal from you I used to give away egg and muffins to homies through the drive-thru. I still rob McDonald's for You do? Yeah, I ask for a water cup and get lemonade every time. You do that shit still? Still, yeah.

I love that. Powerade lemonade, whichever one. You can't let the childhood go, right? You know what I mean? You got plenty of money, but you're like, yeah, but I still love that game. Can I get a water cup from you? Are you going to put water in it?

I had a woman say that. There's a restaurant in Chicago called Portillo's, and they have beef sandwiches. My favorite Italian beef sandwich is from Portilloillo's and uh that these women that work there and they yell out your number it's it's an old tradition in um in this part of chicago and uh they yell out all of them but this one in particular you know she'll make a rhyme she'll go 42 this one's for you you know it'll be like like whatever

88 get your life straight come get your fries oh it's gonna get eight come on like she'll just make up these rhymes but I went up to the counter and I was like

can I get a water cup and she was like you gonna put water in it and I was like I don't I mean yes I'm gonna put water in it and she goes

I'm gonna watch you and she fucking watched me walk to the machine and put water in it and i was like i don't i mean yes i'm gonna put water in it and she goes i'm gonna watch you and i will i she fucking watched me walk to the machine and put water in that bitch and i stood there and like air cheers and drank it she gave me like a like she knew i wanted coke so bad i was like fuck i can fucking drink this water i begrudgingly drank the water she was like i know that game i know that fucking game that's hard to give up that childhood shit it's legendary game. I'll play it forever. Yeah. You'll never get away with it, though. I'll never get caught. You'll never get caught. Yeah. Yeah, you'll never get

caught. I'll never get away with it. They'll get me every time. I can't see my red ass going up to the fucking real loud. I see you. I see you. So when moms made more money, did it change the dynamic of the household? No.

Never? No. Dad was a humble dude? Yeah, dad was. And my mom, it worked because my pops was always at the house. Don't get me wrong. He was out there working. He would travel, and he was working in steel mills.

So he would sell random parts to certain mills in which they needed. So he was kind of like a sales rep of the steel mills so he'll he would sell like random parts to certain mills in which they needed right right so he was like kind of like a sales rep of the steel mill world and um he would go to kentucky canton pittsburgh i mean it was all over the place all over the midwest yeah and uh but when he wasn't traveling he was just he was at home on the computer hanging out or taking care of me and my brother for the most part during the day. Like if something happened at school, whether we were fighting or whatever, maybe. Did you guys fight each other a lot? Did you fight other people a lot?

It was both. Younger, it was a mixture. Like I remember being in the principal's office together because we had both gotten in a fight with somebody else. Same day fights. The principal's like, these Kelsey motherfuckers. The difference between me and Jason is Jason always had the mentality of like, no, I have to prove why I fought this dude. It was his fault.

He started the shit. Right. And you. And me, I'm just, I'm sitting here charming. I'm so sorry. I know I shouldn't have hit him. He pushed me, but I know I got to control myself. Like charges. And I'd ease out of it and like all right well at least he knows what he's doing is right jason

thought what he did was right because of what happened so so he started it he looked at me the wrong way i had to end it bitch said your mama and i punched him square in his face. Was he always bigger than you? Weight wise? Always. Always until I was a freshman in high school and I got taller than him. He was always heavier though. He was heavier than you, right? Yeah. Because he's a heavy guy.

He's not a small boy. He's a big dude, yeah. And he's always been that way, huh? You were probably more the level growth. He seems like he was big his whole fucking life. Some guys used to look like, what are you, big? When he was born, he was probably big as shit. Huge.

He came out 18 pounds, 7 ounces. Believe it or not, so he went to college as a linebacker. So he was skinny. Oh, really? He was like 225. Damn. He was like light. I was, him going into his freshman year of college

and me going into my freshman year of college, I was bigger than him. Fuck. But by the time I got to college, since he's two years older than me, we both went to Cincinnati. By the time I got to college, he had gained a scholarship for transferring or for moving from linebacker to offensive line. They told him they'd give him a scholarship. So he was a walk-on linebacker, 220 pounds.

They're like, hey, you want to get a scholarship? Fuck up. Yeah, gained 60 pounds. Fat boy needed a 10-piece. Get that fucking. So he was just eating and eating and eating and just gaining that weight hard. Just two foot-long subways for lunch. What is he at?

How big is he now? Large pizza. I mean, he's actually, if you look at a lot of the offensive linemen in the league, he's actually on the smaller side. Yeah, he's not that big of a dude. He's an athlete. Yeah. So he's just a strong ox, and he's willing to punch anybody in the face.

Yeah, I wouldn't cross him. I wouldn't cross him. Fuck that shit. He's about 280, I would say. 280? 280, 285. Damn, dude. Gaining that much fucking weight is crazy, though, huh? Yeah. Think about that shit he's about two two eighty i would say 280 280 285 damn dude gaining that much fucking

weight is crazy though huh yeah think about that he was he was up i'm pretty sure he was up to 295 300 in college and it was sloppy i remember the first game i saw of him all the offensive linemen had to wear knee braces so his first year it was just it was all belly weight because it was just him eating eating eating right right like it was he had he had some thickness on his arms from like pumping some iron but for the most part he was just in his gut and he was running around linebacker legs fucking linebacker arms they threw him on a kick so he could still run a little bit right right he still can run pretty pretty fucking good he's quick yeah he's a fast dude so he's he's running down on kickoff and they they're playing Miami of Ohio.

And I remember I was sitting at home watching the game on television, and he made a tackle on kickoff, and I got fucking – I got hype. I was like, yeah, let's go. And it shows it in slow motion of him, like, breaking down, and you just see his gut just like – Like wiggling from side to side like it was just like it wasn't supposed to be on his body and it was just like it was just a keg just sitting

on his waist carrying that fucking shit yeah but now he's I mean now it's he's pretty solid pretty fucking solid now yeah no he's solid now well let me let me let me let me bring up some nonsense NFL beef that I had you don't have to comment about it but but Joseph Rogan my boy Joe Rogan posted a beef that I had. You don't have to comment about it. But Joseph Rogan, my boy Joe Rogan,

posted a video that I did, a little like a joke. And an ex-NFL athlete came at me, this guy named Brad Wing, came at me for no fucking reason. And he wrote, terrible joke. And I got to tell you something. Had I not had a couple of buckets

of loudmouth soup that night, if I was sober, I wouldn't have said anything. But I usually don't fuck with the comments. But Brad had to come at the Red Daddy. And Red Rocket had to come back. I said, shut the fuck up, kicker. And I was angry for no reason. I was like, why am I going at this guy?

But talking about it, after talking about it, it's so funny. I don't give a shit. I don't even know why I care. But it is funny when somebody comes at you that has a little bit of a claim or that's done something professionally. If some dude off the internet is like, fuck you, Travis, you suck. You're like, okay, bro. Yeah, I suck.

Sure. Sure. I guess you got me. But when someone who's done something like he knows what the effort is like to become a professional at anything right you become professional athlete at any level professional anything at any this at a high public level it's fucking hard it's a lot of work a lot of bullshit behind the scenes no one knows about training intensity workouts in your you know sets in my in my case like the amount that you put in to become a professional in anything and acknowledge it's insane, man. But for him to

come at me, I was like, this, this kicker's trying to fucking get me, bro. And so I had to clap at him a little bit, but I just got to say, I don't got any hate for the fucking dude. I just don't get it. Like people come, people come at you. at you? All the time. All the time. But no pros, pro athletes don't come at you? Once in a great while? Yeah, every now and then. I had something with Von Miller like my first like two years.

With Von Miller? Before I knew Von. But I was the one throwing it at him. I was young and stupid. What were you saying? You were just chirping? Yeah, I got caught

doing this on the TV. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And it was after he had just had a blatant late hit on Alex Smith. So I said, yeah, I was just shooting one hit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Shooting one off. So he said something back and called me Baby Gronk, and that's all the Patriots fans call me now.

Baby Gronk. What a night. What a compliment. Oh, man. What a compliment. Baby Gronk. Yeah. That one hits.

That one hits home. Listen, man, I've been called a million fucking things on the internet and I don't really give a shit about any of them. Not a fucking chance. You can take that shit to the fucking bank. I wish I could take it to the bank

and fill up my deposit slips with all the mean things people have said to me and they just register them every time I put in more money than you'll ever make, you fucking bitch. No, I'm being a fucking piece of shit. No, I just think it's a weird semblance of fucking haters. And once you get over it, you just move past it. And you're like, fuck it, what am I going to do? I just don't understand why people take the time to throw shade.

It's really weird. It's really strange, man. The internet is getting... I've never had it in me, man. No. I've never had it in me. No. I couldn't see you starting up some nonsense for no reason.

If it's... You'd probably deal... I thought what I did with Von... I thought that was more funny than me actually taking a shot at him. Yeah, man. You were just fucking around. I was just fucking around. But...

He didn't like it. For me... No, he didn't like it. But for me... And I think he was doing the same back. But either way, it and we're cool now you're fine yeah you don't have any enemies right now in the in the league do you none that i know their name it's always some random dude on a team that i like i'm like bro who the fuck are you that talk shit yeah they talk who are you dude the no names talk the most because they want your level of recognition to validate them, right?

It's like, why? Why are you even putting yourself in this situation? You know I'm about to burn you. You know I'm about to light your team up. What are you coming at me? What's a dead giveaway when you know, when you got a guy one-on-one? What's like a dead giveaway you know you're gonna fuck him up? Is there like a giveaway?

You know in poker people have signs that they're like, I could tell I was gonna get him. Heels. You get on your heels, I know, I got you. You knew right, like you can feel it right away.

Yeah, I can feel like if you're like kind of like antsy in your stance and you're getting back on your heels already, I already know I got you. Does it make you smile a little bit when you do it?

Does it make you smile? Yeah. Like when you're like, you see it and you're like. Does it make you smile a little bit when you do it? Does it make you smile? Yeah. Like when you're like, you see it and you're like, oh, this guy's a little scared. That's gotta feel so good. He's a little intimidated. And it's usually rooks.

It's usually rookies. Yeah. And I kind of, I had that in my rookie year against guys like Von Miller and, you know, the big dogs blocking and stuff. I'm like coming up to him,

oh, there's the dude right here. J.J. Waddle. Oh, shit. A big boy. Fucking bionic arms's the dude right here, J.J. Waddle. A big boy. Fucking bionic arms over here, just long, lanky. How is that legal? This motherfucker has power gloves on the whole fucking game. He's got legs on his shoulders.

It's ridiculous, man. Legs, shoulders? Golly. He does, bro. So going up against him, I'm like, all right, yeah, I get it. I get it. So knowing that's how I felt as a rookie or as my first two years in the league, I'm like, okay, this is how this rookie could be looking at me.

And then once I see him kind of go sit in his stance a little bit, I'm just like, oh, yeah, I got him. See you later. I'm going to attack you. Have you thought at all about when you're done, when you say goodnight, which is nowhere, it's a far time away from now, what do you think you'd want to do in your second half of your life? I'll leave, man.

I'll tell you what, that's what I've been trying to figure out since I really got in the league is what's after this. So every offseason I'm taking that leap of whatever into whatever. Right. So I've jumped into the acting. I'm ass at that. I'm not very good at that. It's a craft that you have to practice and practice and practice.

Yeah. I just haven't had time to really jump into it. It's just time. That's really what it is. You have to do it all the fucking time to really get comfortable doing it. And that's what it was. I wasn't comfortable at all doing it. So I tried to do that.

I tried to do... I mean, there's always... I have a bunch of plan Bs. Right. Like, I could get into this. Don't necessarily love it, but I could get into it. I could have fun doing it. What would a dream be?

Because you already made your dream of being in the NFL. That's what I'm saying. What would be the nice next step to be like, yeah, you know what would be really cool to... It would be really cool to... Anything. Even if it's not tangible. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, you don't know yet.

Yeah, play baseball. I don't know. Yeah, pro baseball? Just go straight into the big leagues, though. Not that AAA, AA shit. No, you don't do that shit. You don't live in fucking Sarasota or some bullshit. Kelsey rides the bus.

It'll be the fucking follow-up to Jordan rides. It bullshit. Kelsey rides the bus. It'll be the fucking follow up to Jordan rides. It'll be Kelsey rides the bus. You hear about the story of Jordan buying a brand new bus for the team that he played for?

Yeah, the Barons. Yeah, whatever. That's hilarious. Yeah, well, you know. That's awesome though. It is dope. It is dope. It is dope.

But also like, you know, he might have gotten his fucking dad killed and all sorts of fucked up shit and didn't pay his debts. But anyway, he's one of my favorite people on earth. Let's talk about... Let's just go over some of the crazy rumors you've heard about Jordan then. Here, let's go back and forth. This will be really fun. Okay.

The flu game in 96 was apparently he was blacked out at like Atlantic City or whatever. Right. Right. So he really didn't have the flu Yeah, we call the Irish flu yeah in my where I come from that's called the Irish flu That's when you're fucking as you had too much sauce and had nothing to eat in the morning How about how about I've heard I've heard that? He has owed a couple hundred thousand dollars to a few different golf pros or country club cats

thousand dollars to a few different golf pros or country club cats and never has ever paid those debts not to this day hasn't paid man you know what i heard him him and scotty pippen they don't be tipping tip no tipping pippen is that's a real thing in fact i shouldn't say this this is fucked up but i don't give a shit scotty pippen used to live in one of the buildings that so i grew up in a bunch of high-rises in downtown chic. My mom worked for the company that property managed me, these places. That's why we were able to live there. Because when I tell people I lived in the Gold Coast as a kid, they were like, oh my God, balling, you know? And yeah, it was a really nice area, but we were able to live in these buildings because my mother worked for the company. It was kind of a, it was a beautiful accident, you know? To grow up there is crazy. When

I tell people I live there, they're like, you grew up no that's a it's like where young professionals go when they're killing it you know what i mean like so it's just it's weird it'd be like saying i grew up in the heart of manhattan you know what i mean it's like yeah i grew up in soho it's like really so anyway pippin used to live in one of the buildings that my mom's company ran and they said dude he was the worst with women because he had that wife or that girlfriend or whatever and he would treat her like shit in front of everybody and then he'd have a whole bunch of slew of hoes come through and he wasn't sleek about it it's like dude if you're gonna have hoes come through the place where you live with your girl or whatever at least be respectful back door it dog at that point yeah i mean not respectful to the point of you're actually

respectful towards you but like respectful of the game of you're actually respectful towards you, but like respectful of the game of like hiding. Right, right. You know what I mean? If you're going to be that guy, walk him through the front. You're fucking it up for everyone else. He's walking him in through the front, saying hi to the doorman. Hey, Chet.

He's got him on camera and shit. Hey, Pip. You know? There's some bitch from the club. Yeah, the stories of the Bulls, that whole team was filled with, I mean, that was my childhood. You had to hate us. You hated us.

You hated the Bulls as a kid, didn't you? I don't understand how you can hate the Bulls, man. Yeah, but I mean, you know. I was such a 90s fiend of basketball and sports in general that, I mean, don't get me wrong, I loved the Cleveland sports. I grew up idolizing Bobby Sura, if you don't even know who that guy is.

I don't even know who that is. Exactly. Bobby who? Bobby Sura. He was a point guard, shooting guard for the Cavs in like 97, 98. Bobby Sura. I could go down the line. I mean, you could name guys that I might know, but this motherfucker is.

Yeah, but he was a Florida State guard. Okay. Yeah, he was saucy. He was saucy. I think he was the first white dude with like a hoop earring that I might know, but this motherfucker is. Yeah, but he was a Florida State guard. Okay. Yeah, he was saucy. He was saucy. I think he was the first white dude with, like, a hoop earring. I was like, oh, that dude's got sauce. First white dude with that hoop earring? I like that shit.

He was like the, what was it, Jason Williams, the white chocolate. The white chocolate man. He was phenomenal. Yeah, he was legendary. I still follow him on Instagram. It's so funny watching old dudes. He's playing basketball talking about his

talking about his career. Is he where is he in Europe or some shit? No I think he's Florida. Yeah he's down in Florida.

He went to Florida. He's a Gator. Oh really? But I mean he's not playing professionally at all anymore. No no no. He's just doing

pickup games. Some of those guys they end up going to fucking Russia or some shit and they play. They still can kind of play.

Maubary is still over in China playing. No he's not. not in china that's the last i heard steph remember those shoes the marbury shoes were like the worst shoes ever bro everyone got dope sneaker deals and steph came out with his shoes and everybody was like these are trash they were so garbage bro they were the ugliest of the shoes the starberries right the starberries him and chris weber the dadas yes bro dadas holy shit is that company still around not a chance did they get upset The Starberries, right? The Starberries. Him and Chris Webber, the Dada's. Yes, bro. Dada's. Holy shit. Is that company still around?

Not a chance. Did they get absorbed? Dada got absorbed with Perry Ellis, JNCO Jeans, and FUBU jerseys. They're all at Marshalls now for $5.99. That is crazy to think all those companies were like so hot oh that was it was the steez man

it was the freshest shit in the world have you had any of that shit did you ever have a starter jacket as a kid for sure I still own that's my favorite now

but you have going deep into it new age starter jacket oh you have retro shit yeah I go retro I love old school brims old school like snapbacks

that's where you're that's where a lot of your fun money goes right yes cause you don't like Retro shit? Yeah, I go retro. I love old school, brims, old school, like snapbacks. That's where a lot of your fun money goes, right? Yes. Because you don't like, what would you say is your biggest, what would you say is your biggest waste of money, quote unquote? I don't believe in that term because I think if you're having fun with it,

it doesn't matter. I have a blast with it. I would say what I throw, my waste is the fucking car. God, I fucking hate that car. Why? What do you hate? What do you mean what? Range Rover. Why do you hate it? I fucking hate that car what do you hate Range Rover

why do you hate it I fucking hate it why everything there's every single month there's something really it's a brand new car

it's all fucking brand new the autobiography the best one you can grab biggest one you can grab that's the hottest one and I still sit in it like I'm like

a giant sitting in like a tiny bullshit ass yeah tricycle that's a white woman's favorite car out here in LA the Range Rover is like like a giant sitting in like a tiny. Bullshit ass, yeah. Tricycle. That's a white woman's favorite car out here in LA.

The Range Rover is like a white woman's castle. They love that shit. I'm not a big fan of it. I'm trying to trade it in, but I just. Drop that shit off in the hood. Let someone steal it. Collect the insurance. Fucking call it a day.

Fucking go make eye contact with someone. Go, hey, I'm trying to fucking steal. Get some fucking insurance insurance i'm telling you dude if it all falls out i'm lighting this house on fire and i'm grabbing the insurance and i want them in it you know i'm leaving everybody in this house too no i think i think i think it's uh i think cars are a big fuck cars are a big waste of money but i like them i think they're fun but that's not that's not too bad you're not like i know people that fucking no clothes clothes is for clothes is is for me. Clothes is heavy. Yeah. Yeah. I grab just silly shit.

Shoes. But it's all online, right? So I'm with Nike. Nike's, I got a good deal going with them to where I can get some of that. But for the most part, shoes and clothes is what I like. That's where you get off. Yeah, that's where I'm spending most. Explain this to fans.

People don't really know. When people say they're sponsored by somebody, there is this illusion or there's this thought process that it's like you just, Nike will constantly throw you stuff, but you have to kind of reach out and be like,

I want some more shit, right? No. Like they'll throw you shit. Yeah, they'll throw me shit. They'll throw me stuff. But you have to ask for certain things. Are you always getting the newest shit? I did. I'm not gonna lie. You always get throw you shit. Yeah, they'll throw me shit. They'll throw me stuff. But you have to ask for certain things. Are you always getting the newest shit? I did.

I'm not gonna lie. You always get the newest shit. I've got up on the... The connection is so tight. I've gotten a little bit better. Oh, shit. Over the years, yeah. Because some people, it's like, I think I was talking, who did I talk to?

I was talking, Golden Tate was telling me, he was like, they throw me a bunch of stuff, but like if I really want something specific, I have to be like, I want this bad. I really want this line of whatever, like the Space Jams or whatever the fuck it was. I have to reach out and ask. You're at a point now where they know what you like, huh? Yeah. Because what were you wearing the other night when we were kicking it? Oh, those are the Fear Gods new ones.

So fresh. And they were fresh. And then I cut my hand and blood Show put your hand up. Let's see if the camera can see that shit Yeah, little just a little fun in the Sun a little fun in the Sun little slice one little slice Just it just makes you feel alive is what it is. Yeah, I can't believe you did I took out a butcher knife and he just started cutting just staring at everyone just Crazy bro It happens no you had the fear of God's on but when you had everybody's got their favorite party. He's like, I'm fucking crazy, bro. It happens.

No, you had the fear of gods on. Party tricks, man. But when you had... Everybody's got their favorite party trick. That's your party trick? Someone's like, let me tell you a good joke. Travis is like, check it out.

Fucking, but you had those fear of gods on and I was like, damn, those are so... But you're... And what do you... What did you say, 14? 14, 15.

They have to custom because no one's buying 15s. Right? I would... That's for you, bro. I don't know. Well, I'm telling you it's for you. Most men are, like, well, I'm a 12.

I felt like it was for me, for sure, the way I left the foot just, those things were so comfy. They're comfy? Man, they're light, comfortable. He did his thing on those. Yeah, man, they're fucking. Jerry Lorenzo.

Lorenzo, baby. Nice. I'm like a 12. He's a Chicago guy. Yeah? Yeah. Chicago guy. His dad was the manager of the Sox.

Yeah, yeah. In the 90s, I believe. Yeah, you know, and I don't fuck with those people. Sox? Yeah, they're all right. Yeah. Yeah. Chicago guys. Dad was the manager of the Sox. Yeah. Yeah. In the 90s, I believe. Yeah. You know what? I don't fuck with those people. The Sox guys. Yeah. They're all right.

Yeah. We have some family. We got some family connection. We have one of the most famous, a Hall of Fame outfielder. Outfielder? No. What am I saying? He was a pitcher.

I was saying he was in the outfield. When you go to White Sox Stadium, it's called U.S. Cellular Field now. There are statues of all these old White Sox that they've got out there. And I'm almost positive he was a pitcher, but his name was Billy Pierce. Billy Pierce? Billy Pierce.

Fuck, I don't even know anymore. Anyway, they were family friends. But that's the only reason I think my family will go to where the White Sox play, because we don't fuck with that shit I'm a northside guy I couldn't tell you a single person that played for the Chicago White Sox outside of Jackson no come on man there's so many Frank Thomas Tim the Rock reigns who you don't know Tim Raines come on man White Sox has some ballplayers man they had they

had a ton of ball but when I was a kid I feel like they had they had a bunch of dudes Robin Ventura they had guys that were like gangster you remember Robin Ventura Robin Ventura try to punch Nolan Ryan Nolan Ryan was it yeah it was Nolan Ryan right he ever that video was dope as fuck that was back when they were swinging at each other now baseball players do that thing where they're like get out of here get out of here. Get out of here. They're like, you want to stab? You want to stab? And they get up in each other's faces like, dude, fucking swing.

You're right there. But yeah, Robin Ventura charged Nolan Ryan when he was with, I believe, I don't want to say it was a Texas. He was Texas? Yeah. I think so. It looked like a Texas. Yeah.

Bro. And man, that video is so dope. The way he, dude dude the way that they go at it and no one ryan puts him in a headlock and that was great fucking that was when baseball was like yeah dude hit him now i think they don't want to hit him because they're afraid of getting fucking fine and kicked out of the league steroids boost all that testosterone up you actually want to throw fucking hell yeah dude i know i wouldn know. Let's get them back on the juice. Let everyone get your back on the juice.

You know what? Steroids isn't helping anybody. I think we were talking about this the other day. Steroids aren't helping guys hit a baseball. No. They're helping them hit a further. Farther, sure. But that's what we want to see. I want to see that.

Throw it faster, hit it harder. That's the excitement of the game. Right. Pitchers that are 90s, like, to see that. Throw it faster, hit it harder. That's the excitement of the game. Right. Like, I don't like pitchers that are 90s. Like, yeah, nice, cool. Cool. If you're throwing 100, I'm watching every pitch. Well, like a Rollers Chapman.

Every time that dude threw the ball, it's like 104, and you're like, that's stupid. That's stupid, bro. It is. You mean a Ferrari came out of his fucking arm within seconds? How about that? So he used to be in Cincinnati. Chapman. Yeah.

And one of my boys in Cincinnati City has like three or four cars that are like speedsters like that, like little Ferraris, little Lambos. And on the license plate, it goes 101 MPH, 102 MPH, 103 MPH on every other plate. For real? Yeah. That's tight. That's legit. See, that's when you spend money.

That's when it's funny and it's stupid, but I still am into that shit, you know? I think when you ball and it's funny, like if you do it the right way, I tip the hat to that shit. Sometimes it's douchey. That's not. It would definitely be douchey for sure. That's funny. That's funny.

But I've seen, there's some, who did I see? Oh my God, whose car did I fucking, whose car did I see outside of, I was going to the Staples Center and there's a lot. It's like right next to the, by the way, if you're ever going to Los Angeles, you want to go to Laker game or whatever, there is a lot that's on the south side of it.

And it's $20. You can park like right next to that bitch. But as I'm pulling in. Oh, Reggie Bush. I think it was Reggie Bush's car. I think it was Reggie Bush's car. But his license plate. I don't know.

It was like one of those big. Maybe it was the G-Wagon or some shit. But his license plate said FRSH1. Fresh one. And I was like, nah. Like, nah. Where does that? I don't know if it was Reggie.

How does that relate to you? I don't know if it was. I don't want to be mistaken. I think it was Reggie Bush, but whatever. Either way, I was like, nah. It's just kind of like garbage. It's just like, that's not it. If you're going to do it, go for it.

You know what I mean? Like, if it's going to make a joke on it it make a joke or make a pun about who you are or whatever but i like that like one-on-one one of you that's fucking that's funny he knows what the fuck he's doing yeah what's your license plate say killer no just regular ohio plates whatever the dmv or whatever they give you bmV gave you. Yeah, you're not going to custom. You should custom. Next time, custom. One plate says hand. Next one says cutter. Hand cutter.

Slice you. This is going to be your signature now, man. Slicing jokers. Slicing your ass up. That's a nice. Yeah, it's a good size cut. It's a little unfortunate. I'm not going to lie.

I'm going to like it. It's going to go away. Do you have scars? Do you have other scars? I cut myself when I was a real... The last party I was at actually slipped my left arm. Bro, you're bad at parties with slicing your hand up. I mean, I told you, man. Yeah, you get down.

I told you I get down, bro. The ladies love it, man. Ladies love scars. Ladies love scars. You don't have any other scars? No, I've had eight surgeries since I moved to Thailand. Yeah, but I mean not surgery scars. I mean like from a kid.

I got this one right here. What's that one? From when you were a kid? Chasing down Frisbees. What the fuck? That sounds badass, chasing down Frisbees. We were hawking boomerangs by the beach. What the fuck are you doing chasing Frisbees?

I don't know. I was a little, like, tiny, tiny kid. My dad was throwing Frisbees. He probably thought it was funny if I ran into the tree. And sure enough, I mean. He's like, what's your mom's name? He's like, hey, Karen, watch this fucking moron. Donna, you want to see this fucking idiot?

You think your kid's so smart? You know, everyone's like, my kid is so smart and brilliant. You're like, watch this. Watch him run into this fucking tree. So he hucked one and you didn't wear a panty touch and you treed up? I had no idea. Dummy, I love that shit, dude. That's funny. I funny i got this this one up here i got one bad one up here that was a fireplace yikes fireplace face first into the face first dude cousins if you got cousins

you know about injuries threw you in there pushing each other fucking around you know what i mean like bro cousins in the midwest We're Midwest people Yeah Your cousins When you have family parties There's a million Of these motherfuckers And everybody wants to fight Everybody wants to Fuck somebody up

Someone's getting hurt There's gonna be cries From the basement There's gonna be yelling The toughest uncle's Gonna come down And be like Cut it out

Cut it the fuck out He's got a smoke In one hand Right He's got a Pabst In the other And he's got a white beater on Yeah he's got a white beater He's got an old Milwaukee Maybe in one hand You know he's got a smoke in one hand right he's got a Pabst in the other and he's got a white beater on yeah he's got a white beater

he's got an old Milwaukee maybe in one hand you know he's got an old fucking an unfiltered palm mall cut it the fuck out I'll beat all your fucking asses dude my uncles

every time we had a family party this was when I was a kid I didn't know they were going outside to smoke pot you know and now years later I was like

you guys could have asked us to smoke pot they would go outside and they would call a check in the tires I gotta go check the tires and when I was a kid I was like you guys could have asked us to smoke pot they would go outside and they would call a check in the tires I gotta go check the tires and when I was a kid I was like

oh in the dead of winter I'm thinking they want to make sure the tires aren't gonna go flat smoking pop in the fucking garage they would say that to each other you wanna go check the tires

I was like man they're really diligent about their vehicles you check your tires every week now they're always checking their tires I check my tires all the time I'm gonna check your tires every week now. They're always checking their tires. I check my tires all the time. I'm going to check my tires right after this podcast.

I got to always check that I make sure they're on the right level, you know? Hey, is that a thing in the league now that there are states that you're allowed to smoke? Like the Rams, if any of those guys get tested, if they get tested, you still can't have pot, right? Still can't do it. Is the NBA okay with it? I don't know if it'll ever do it. Is there any league that's okay with it now? I wonder.

Without speaking through people that I know, I think NHL. NHL's okay with it? They should be. I think MLB's okay with it. I mean, at some point. What are we talking about? It's not a performing enhancing. I think it's the legal aspect.

Once it's legal nationwide. All over the country? Yeah, federally is what they're scared of. Yeah, it's because guys are acting ignorant with it. So you get caught. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just be smart. You're not going to be stupid in New York because it's not legal in New York.

Right. But you say, oh, my job lets me do it? Like what's the argument? Yeah, it's interesting. Yeah, I don't. It's funny. I was just thinking about this. I'm going back home for the fourth, you know, for the fourth.

And like, I'm like, man, that's weird. In Illinois, it's legal now. And my whole life pot was such a big no-no. And now I'm like, oh shit, it's all good. Like, it is weird to think that like now, because my parents, one of my parents friends bro was like we're thinking about doing edibles i'm like damn has the world changed you know what i mean like it used to be such a big no-no and now like here's my mom's like 70 year old friend being like you guys want to do a dab we're thinking about dabbing in the garage i was like that's the new shit is like people are

becoming more comfortable with it which i think is a good thing you know i i mean i've never i've been candid about it i've been smoking pot for fucking 20 years of my life i've been 20 i don't know yeah 20 21 years and i use it in moderation i'm a supportive person of it i believe in it i think if if it's your thing do anything in moderation and do it right and you're good but i also think there's a culture that surrounds it that doesn't help us progress yeah like there's annoying dumb culture that always is gonna surround drug culture

and fuck it all up there's always gonna be idiots out here it's bad right it's unfortunate yeah it's gonna it's gonna slow it down for everybody else

do cats in the league get in trouble all the time that people don't hear about like the teams will find it and fuck you up and just not some teams some teams have a

I got you guy yeah they do there is a I got you guy I won't say which ones are which, but there are gotcha guys out there. So he's an inside cat that tries to... Yeah. They're like,

oh, if you're in trouble, give this guy a call. I gotcha guy. Call Saul. I bet I could guess which fucking teams it is. I think everyone at home can start guessing online.

The comments are going to be like, I know exactly who's going to be a streamer team. I'll tell you which ones I know after. Okay. That's good stuff. Well, you don't have to tell me now, but I bet you, well, hey, when the Raiders are in Vegas, they better have a bunch of gotcha guys, bro.

That's going to be it. Holy fuck. That guy's going to be overloaded. Yeah. The NFL might just throw an I gotcha guy in Vegas. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just to keep everyone. Listen, they get an assistant coach like who

is this guy's like he's great we love he's an i gotcha guy don't worry about it dude he's gotcha he's fucking gotcha he played gotcha his whole life he's the i gotcha guy yeah i think i think i know who some of the teams will have to talk off air about all that bullshit but there's a few teams that i think obviously are like they need a little bit more help you know what i mean yeah uh then there's teams that are too tight that i feel like they need to go get them guy they need a guy that's like go get fucked up you guys are pussies this is garbage like go have some fun dude go go fuck a 19 year old and do coke and let us find you in a fucking holiday and go have some fucking fun just the player development guy just flips roles like

right in kansas city they're like forcing guys to go enjoy themselves yeah go have fun guys you're like i'm in kansas city like but you can just figure it out you know by the way shout out to kansas city a good friend um uh a good friend of the of of mine just ate at uh39. Q39? Yeah, it's his name, Tom Segura. He's a... Q39 is unbelievable barbecue. Segura just shouted it out and was like, that's the best. And because we were talking about it before, like, I like Joe's, I like Gates, like, I

like all that old school shit, even though people don't really love it. But Q39 has become that new place that people just like have to go to for barbecue. Oh, yeah. It is funny, man. I love me some Joe's, man. Joe's. See, I love Joe's. Maybe it's just... And a lot of people are like, nah, fuck that funny man. I love me some Joe's man. Joe see I love Joe's I don't maybe it's just

And a lot of people are like nah fuck that shit, but I but it's all it's real out there I love that shit Every time I go I have to have that it's just like every time I go to fucking Austin I have to have a little barbecue We talked about that last night I was there's certain spots like I have to go eat at them and then there's cities where I don't even want to leave the Hotel and I don't ever want to fucking eat there You know when you travel certain places when you're in a city and you're like I don't want to fucking go there's cities where I don't even want to leave the hotel, and I don't ever want to fucking eat there. You know when you travel to certain places when you're in a city, and you're like, I don't want to fucking go.

There's nothing to do in this fucking town. Anytime I go out of the country. Yeah, really? I'm just like, yeah. What's the room service looking like? You guys got Burger King. King. He's the king of burgers.

I was just over in France and trying to get a meal that I knew I was going to like. Yeah. All you can find out there is foie gras. Yeah, foie gras. Dude, they love that shit. I'm like, what in the... I don't like that shit, dude. What is it?

It's stuffed... It's goat nuts? No, duck liver. Stuffed duck liver. They force feed a duck until it gets so fucking fat and swollen that the fattiness of the liver basically just fucks them. They die. See, I didn't like it because of the taste.

It tastes like shit to me. People love it. You tell somebody that? Yeah. That's what it is. Like that exact description? Yeah. I'm out.

No, I'm out. I don't like that shit. I didn't like it. They treated us, by the way, I don't think we have any podcast listeners in France. We probably do. We got a fuckload. Anyway, the French are fucking assholes, Lloyd.

These motherfuckers. They treated us like shit, man. I couldn't get an excuse me out of anyone out there. No, they don't fuck with that. Not even a thank you, pardon me. They're so annoyed that you're there. You know what's so funny? I hate going to a tourist spot.

Look, I will always say, do a tourist spot. Be a tourist, man. If you're a fucking tourist don't think you're too tough to be a tourist go to the eiffel tower bitch you're never gonna go back to that motherfucker go one i'm not going to the louvre go to the fucking louvre bro who what are you what are you doing go to the fucking louvre see the mona lisa go i saw it that way when you're dead you go yeah i saw the fucking thing don't be stubborn but dude people at the fucking eiffel tower treated us like shit.

Like they were annoyed we came. You're like, bitch, this is why you have a job. This is it. You work at the fucking Eiffel Tower, bitch. This is the entire city right here. Yeah, this is why I came. For this fucking thing to light up. And for me to pay you 50 bucks for champagne underneath it.

We did that shit. I paid some jamoke 50 bucks for a bottle of like $4 champagne. He's like, top quality, top quality. I was like, oh, I'm all fucked up trying to show off with her. So you said that they hate us when we go over there? They hate us. The French don't like us. If a French guy walks in and asks you about your jokes,

are you a little like, get this fucking guy out of my face? Light him up. Light him the fuck up. Get out of here, you fucking frog-ass motherfucker. You know what? And you know what's so funny is like, it's only because... Why do humans do that? I don't know.

Well, because we're... It doesn't matter where. It doesn't matter where. We're defensive of... Well, even if you're not a patriot, even if you're not a national, if someone who has like a strong... If somebody talks shit about America, you're automatically going to be like, fuck you, bro. You know what I mean?

Like, it's just a habit. Let's just say if somebody said, if somebody said, fuck Ohio, and you're like, why? You would have to say why. You'd go, why? What are you talking about? No, man. Yo, fuck. I don't like Ohio.

Fuck Ohio. You're like, where are you from, bro? Like, right away, there's like a, even though these places. Are you going to judge me? I'm going to Ohio you're like where are you from like right away there's like even though these places are you gonna judge me I'm gonna judge you real quick see that's why so we do that on an international scale and they don't like American tourists and okay

that's fine but like so many other places are so dope with American tourists because they're like no man these people are good money they're fun you know what I mean like the French Parisians especially. And I hope somebody in Paris comments and is like, I'm a big fan. But for the most part, like most of these cats were so fucking annoying. And then we met people from outside of Paris and they were dope.

Like just regular French country people, like regular French people, dope. But Parisians had like an attitude about everything. She speaks a little bit of French. My old lady, the anchor, the old bag. And she was trying to speak French to, the old bag. And she was, she was trying to speak French to the fucking taxi guy. And he was like annoyed.

She was just having, she was like trying, you know. And the dude was like, well, you don't, you don't have to. I will figure it out.

You don't have to speak French. Speak English. I wanted to choke him. I was taking off my shoelace to fucking rock. I wanted to fucking choke this. I was like, she's just trying to be fucked.

We're here on vacation, bitch. Fucking bitch. Like I was taking off my shoelace to fucking rock. I wanted to fucking choke this. I was like, she's just trying to be fucked. We're here on vacation, bitch. Fucking bitch. Like I was just, we were just trying to. That's the thing that I'd like. So like a random person speaks a different language, comes up and asks you directions. It's like before you even tell them where they're supposed to go, like you want to ask, what the fuck are you doing here? Yeah. What are you doing over here, bro?

What are you doing here, bro? Now I'm curious. I like sending people to the wrong place. I'm not going to lie. I do that often. I do that a lot, especially in L.A. If somebody's like, how do I get to the Hollywood sign? I'm always like, no doubt.

Santa Monica, go as far west as you can, and I'll just send them all the way to the beach. And you get in the water. Once you get to the beach, there's a guy named Chaz that's going to be right on the pier. Give him a hundred bucks. He'll show you how to get to Hollywood. I just like fucking with people sometimes.

I usually give people the right directions, but I'm always like, I just like joking with them a little bit to see if they have any sense of humor. And if they do and they're cool, then I'll tell them. But if they're being assholes about it, then I'm like,

okay, bro, you want to get lost, bitch? So the Hollywood sign is in Inglewood. Go down there and ask for Pookie. Pookie will tell you what's up. He's a solid cat. He's a solid cat. Show him your...

Take him to an ATM. Show him how much you have just for fun. See how that works out. No, I'm usually very nice to tourists, but I just feel like whenever we go places sometimes, if the country has this fuck you to America... And by the way, a lot of times they do that shit and not you don't have control over it like if people don't like trump if countries don't like trump they just like you're just trump now to them you're like bro

i'm in america i'm not what the fuck i'm not that dude like yeah i was just talking to uh uh the new mayor of kansas city he's like dude i have to like I am Trump what do you mean he's just saying oh because he's in that political world of like trying to control a mass amount of people and give everyone like the right like I don't know resources or whatever like he becomes

this like he's that so now he has to represent Trump so he's like as much as he doesn't want to be, or I don't want to speak for the new mayor. But whatever. I know what you mean. But he's just like, I'm already, from this point forward,

I'm associated with that man. Damn, that's wild. But that's like, what's the dude's, what's the Ohio dude's name? That's a dude's name. John Ryan? Jim Ryan? John Ryan? Jim Ryan?

John Rocker? John Rocker? Is he running, bro? I would love that shit. And there's a guy named Tom Ryan, John Ryaner. John Rocker? Is he running, bro? I would love that shit. And there's a guy named Tom Ryan, John Ryan, white guy, whatever. But he's Ohio, Democrat Ohio. He's running for president. But he's one of these dudes.

He's like changing the game a little bit. I was talking. My boy Tony is friends with him. Tony's from Ohio. And Tony was like, I like this cat. It's interesting. Like he's a Democrat, but he hunts. I was like, wow, that's a balance.

That's Midwest shit. You know, like he's a Democrat but he hunts i was like wow that's a balance that's midwest shit you know like he's a democrat but he's like he likes hunting he likes pussy and beer and you're like oh okay this is like no i'm not trying to say like democrats don't like pussy and beer i'm just saying for the most part they don't they bitches no i'm kidding no i just i didn't know i'm joking around i just think it's funny that they bitches but i just think it's funny that i was like that is funny to hear a staunch Democrat and what's happening right now politically. You have to be so aligned with something. You're so far left.

You're so far right. To hear a dude be like, no, I like shooting guns, but I'm also a fucking Democrat. I'm like, that's a wild stance. It sounds like the Midwest. I'll tell you when I was like, where's this dude from?

He's Ohio. I was like, for sure. For sure, a dude from Ohio is like, I still like drinking beer and fucking shooting guns, but I also want to, like, you know, help out people and shit. Save the earth. Save the earth and help out people. I think that's, I think the whole, this whole presidential thing is so fucked and so, it's so sad.

It always is. Yeah, but this is getting crazy. Now it's like, I think, I don't know, man. I hate to say this in the microphone, but I will. One tweet away. One tweet away. Trump is, I think Trump for sure is going to win again only because statistically presidents win twice.

It's going to happen. Stats are proven. Yeah, stats. I think it's going to happen. I also think Trump is going to come out and let everyone know that he transitioned. I don't know if you know this, but he was a woman at one point, Donald Trump. Mary Trump was his name, was her street name. Mary?

Mary Trump. She was on the street? She lived in the East Village. Yeah, beautiful woman. I knew her once in my life. I knew her twice in my life. Beautiful girl, but she'll come out eventually. classy low class very low class dirty dirty toenails you know that kind of girl that's my kind of girl dirty toenails i don't know the whole the

whole politics thing is fucking beyond me i don't get into that shit it's just because it gets annoying and gets old i think it's my grandfather he's like don't talk about politics and religion to anybody. He never wanted to do that shit because he was always like, people are going to get annoyed with you no matter what you do. That's one of Andy Reid's big no-no's. In the locker room, don't talk about money, religion, politics, women. They start all wars. Really? Women, I feel like, is definitely talked about in the fucking locker room.

There's no other way. Yeah, you can't get away from that. Money, definitely talked about. Politics and religion room. There's no other way. Yeah, you can't get away from that. Money, definitely talked about. Politics and religion, I can see you try to avoid because there's got to be guys in the locker room that are some guys

that are righties and some guys that are lefties. Has that started a fight? Have you ever heard that start a fight? People got into arguments about shit? Yeah, only when the

Make America Great hats were around and the certain guys were throwing their hats in their locker like crowd supporters. Oh, for real? Yeah.

Damn, you can't name anybody but they were wearing them huh yeah they were wearing them give me one fucking name bro damn dude so what there was beef huh people were hollering yeah no i mean guys were just and it really wasn't even beef it was just like chirping yeah a lot of football players they not big politic guys right so it's like yeah you're talking about it but what are you really talking about you're talking about like fucking what he stands for as a president or like what are his like political opinions and what he's trying to do right or what are you like what do you you just don't like him because he's a racist like what what do you what's your what are you talking about. Like you guys aren't really talking about politics.

No, they're just talking. You're just talking about what you read on Twitter. Right, but he's also, Trump is bigger than politics now. That's why people talk about him so much. You know what I mean?

Like if he was just a boring ass dude, no one would talk about him. And he's, there's always something to say. That's why I think, yeah, people aren't really talking about his presidency

as much as they're talking about him saying some outlandish shit. You know what I mean? Going to fucking the demilitarized zone and shaking hands with North Korea. It's like stuff like that that's never done. I just think he wants to be a talking point. He's a walking talking point, this motherfucker.

It's crazy. I think that's interesting in the locker room. The locker room, the dynamics of the locker room of who gets along and who doesn't get along. I always wish there was an insight. I wish I would pay-per-view. I could pay to see that to see like how people really get along because there's some shit like the hoop dreams of the locker room right like i really want to know never gonna happen kansas city it hasn't been too much drama in kansas city no no i feel like you get it a lot more in like the the markets. What do you mean? Casey's not a big market? Bigger egos.

You mean the players who have egos in cities that are... Yeah, right. Like the Patriots locker room. What do you think they do in there? I think it's pretty well-mannered. Yeah, you think so? Just because of fucking what goes on at the top. Big Dick Tom.

Tom walks in and goes, fellas, I will not talk about beef. No one's talking about beef. There is no meat to be talked about. I read that dude's diet. It's bananas. I don't even know if he has any fun anymore. I fucking... You see him on Twitter?

What'd he say? Fucking playing golf, trying to figure it out. He said, all right, left foot in front of the left foot. Jesus fucking Christ. He's like talking through his fundamentals. Goes up, tries to hit it, like shanks one. He just goes, fuck! His little kids behind him.

Sorry, kids. Really? Sorry, boys behind him. It was classic. Classic dad shit. When his wife is like, $1,000 in this swear jar, okay? Tom Brady might be, I mean, for real, like one of the greatest quarterbacks of all time,

but unequivocally one of the toughest dudes as a person to love from a fan's perspective of like, this dude is like no meat, no nightshades. I do, you know, like tapes his toes. You're like, bro, this guy is like, just be a guy. What the fuck? He might be the most unlovable, unlike guys guy quarterback. Meanwhile, when I was a kid mcmahon was our quarterback who like was a such a guy who like smoked and probably hit women you know what i mean that

he were like he was the he was the bad end of it right he was like that this dude can't be gosh tell him to yeah cool it down no but he didn't no he turned it the fuck up and then the other side is like the generational quarterback now who has to be clean, cut. That's so interesting to me. You know, like Aaron Rodgers, you know, like all these guys to the fans' eyes. Clean, cut, sharp. Drew Brees, you know, like very family, religious. It's like I think it's time for another wild card.

Like I think it's time for at least a couple of dudes that are, like, raucous. You know who that guy is? Who? Baker Mayfield. Baker, right. Yeah, but also, he's still got his shit together. Yes. Do you know what I mean?

He's not out of control. Nah, he's not. He's a cool dude. He's not. He's different than the norm. But he's not, like, he's not like fucking Ryan Leaf. You know what I mean? You know what I mean? You know what I mean?

What is he, three years? Ryan Leaf. I mean, I think cocaine got in the way. I think there was a truck of cocaine that stood in the way from Ryan Leaf being a fucking stellar athlete. I think I almost did coke with him one time in Arizona. I think maybe I did coke with Ryan Leaf. I don't know.

Ryan, reach out to me, dog. Do you still have my number, bro? Anyway, I just think it's time for the NFL for a new bad boy to come in and just be kind of like a terror, you know, a little bit. Like, I miss that kind of shit, you know? Listen, you don't have a – You know I'd love it. I get kicked out of the QB.

Yeah, you don't have a clean record out there, bro. No, I don't. But I like that. I like a little bit of dirt. Like, I want people to have dirt because then I know you're real. Because otherwise, I'm going to find out when your career is over that you Marvin Harrison killed some guy at a gas station. You know what I mean? Where did that come from?

Nobody saw that shit coming. No, bro. No, I mean. Nobody saw that shit coming. And where is he now, by the way? Where's Marvin? Is he in Mexico? I don't know.

Is he in jail? I don't think he's in jail. Yeah, see, look, nobody knows. That's what I'm saying. He's in Cabo right now, kicking it, dude. He's got a three-piece band. They're playing Tomorrow Night at the Tequila. Two-for-one drinks, guys.

Come out. Me, Marvin Harrison. Ricky Williams. We've got a little thing going, and it is dope. It's called Three Man Weave. We just don't want people to know we were that they were nfl athletes at one point but anyway um i think it's time for the to have some bad boys in the in the motherfucking league and i'm down for that and baker mayfield is the hope

right he's the hope man that's the future right he's the hope that somebody will like i don't think i don't see him getting into anything outside of football because all those guys got into some shit outside of football. I just don't think social media allows guys to get to that point. No. Because it literally ruins careers now. TMZ ruins careers now. Who was the last dude that got ruined by TMZ?

Or like the media, who was the last guy that you were like, whoops, that's it forever? Forever? Man, I don't know about forever. I know Kareem Hunt. Yeah, but, you know, whatever. That's the last guy I can think of. Yeah, where the internet blew it up.

The internet does a real good job of blowing shit up, dude. They're really good about being like. Undefeated, man. Yeah, you can't beat the fucking internet. Good luck. Hey, young athletes out there. Travis Kelsey will tell you, good fucking internet. Good luck. Hey, a young athletes out there. Travis Kelsey will tell you a good luck. Good fucking luck.

Leave all that shit on the field. And you said this year we made a bet that he said in the first game, if they lose first game of the season, he's going to walk back to the locker room with his dick out. And that's what he said. It's the bet that he made. You know, that's how it goes,

bro. That's a bet. That's a bet. That's a bet.'s how it goes, bro. That's a bet. That's a bet. That's a bet, bro. That's a bet. I'm excited. Jacksonville, if you have kids, that might not be the game. Yeah, don't go.

Leave early. Don't go to that game. We'll win. We'll win. Yeah. Jacksonville? They've got a good defense. And they've got tricky Nicky Foles. Okay, dude.

They've got tricky Nicky Foles. You guys don't have really have anybody then huh right you guys don't really have anybody skilled or talented on your team right now andy reed's really the only one yeah any good is he gonna play this year is he gonna get out there and strap up overweight i don't know he's a bit overweight i would love for andy reed to hear this and love the whole interview to the end and be like you fucking bitch I'm fucking fining you bitch. That's exactly what he would say. Fine you. You fucking pussy. Andy

if you ever do hear this fine this motherfucker because he deserves it and send the check to Whiskey Ginger P.O. Box He should. It's a I'm like it's gotten to the point where Andy looks at me and is like,

I don't even want any more of your money. I don't want to take it from you. He's taking a lot of your money because you're running late, huh? Yeah. You don't show up. You run late. My clocks, man. You're fucking up.

My clocks are always, like, because I'm really bad at paying my electric bill, so, like, the clocks are always resetting at the fucking time. Bro, bro. Even I know that's a bad excuse. You're like, listen, man, it's been hard out there for a pimp. I can't pay my bills. I lose credit cards all the time. So it's like.

You do? Yeah, so. Why don't you just set up auto pay shit? That's what I'm saying. Auto pay on what? The credit card I just lost? I gotta get a new one. So then the auto pay stops on it.

And I don't check my mail. Who checks? Who actually looks at the mail you know nor what are you doing set this up set this the fuck up come on bro that's so easy yeah you got to get somebody to handle all the bullshit for you no last year I was only late once that's good that's that's astonishing that's phenomenal that's what are we going for this year and I was only like I was only like a minute late

like there have been and you still get fucked for a minute well I mean door shut he's talking in a team meeting it's like

alright a minute like 50 like 10 seconds is like you're late when you come in what's the first thing he says when you come in late no

he's not the first person you see. You usually go to the locker room, you see everyone, everyone's looking at you like, ah, you know, yeah, everyone knows. Sometimes there's been times where I've snuck in and just like nobody knew. It's just like, all right, I ain't gonna say shit to anybody.

And no one knew? No one knew. Like team meeting went down. A few meetings went down, nothing. And no one knew? No one knew. Like, team meeting went down. A few meetings went down. Nothing. And I'm right there at practice. Nobody's saying nothing to me. I'm looking over my shoulder.

I go up to the security guard. I'm like, hey, anybody say anything to you? He's like, no. He's like, why? What's up? I was like, I don't know. Nothing, nothing, bro. Nothing.

I don't know. Nothing. How's your kids, man? Let me know if you hear anything. You need to create a diversion. You need to get a dummy trap sitting in that bitch that's already there. Buy one of those Japanese sex dolls. Just make it look like you and shit sitting there the whole time.

He's like, and shout out to Kelsey for being here early. He's the first one here. Last one out every time. Shout out to that. Who is that dude on the team that's first in for last out? Patrick Mahomes. Really? Really?

Consistently? Legit. First in in last out damn that's why he's so fucking talented that cat he is man he is right

he's as true as it comes man like he doesn't try to be like straight and arrow like he's he's just him that's just who he is this is who he is

he do you think it's impressive do you think he's someone that might go to baseball at some point or no he'll football forever

because he was going to play pro baseball, right? I don't know if it was. Wasn't he going to play pro baseball? He played in college. I think he. I thought they wanted him to play pro baseball. Yeah. His dad played for the Mets.

But I thought they were gunning for him to be one of those dudes that was like, in case football, he gets hurt, he'll go play pro baseball. He can still probably go fuck shit up over there. Yeah. Go throw him on the Mets or some shit. He's an all-around athlete. He is, huh? Yeah.

And he's first in, last out. He's just a solid cat. I like him even more now. Because I was like, this dude is astonishing. We talked about this the other day, and I don't want to harp on it again, but I came to see you play probably the greatest football game I'll ever see in my entire life. You guys against the Rams here. The highest scoring football game in the history of the NFL.

Is it history, right? Yeah, Monday Night Football. Un-fucking-believable. Yeah, it was the funnest game ever, man. Stupid. It was stupid. Until we lost, and then I was just like, fuck this game. So now every time everyone brings it up, I'm just like, yeah, fuck that game.

It was sweet, man. The fourth quarter came around, and it's like foggy. It was sweet, man. The fourth quarter came around, and it's like foggy. It's like the, like, I don't know, just everything just like turned into a movie. Yeah, it was, huh? I was just like, oh, man, this is like, this is what she, this is like I'm in the movie of the dream that I've always dreamt. Right.

Like it's foggy, fourth quarter, game's coming down to this last drive, in the air and I dropped it fuck didn't dream that one I remember saying that out loud I go Travis you dropped it I said that loud no fuck that

yeah but it was still phenomenal to watch that I actually cut my hands after that game that's how you did this shit bro you need to stop that shit he's cutting

if you think kids at home if you're thinking about cutting please don't do it please don't do that shit. He's cutting. If you're thinking, kids at home, if you're thinking about cutting, please don't do it. No, no. Please don't do that shit. It's a joke on here, but it's not a joke in real life. It's not a joke in real life. Don't.

This was an accident. That was an accident. That was from partying. That was from Travis. Whenever he gets angry at parties, he smashes glasses and he'll just take this and crack it in his hand as a party. And I'm like, that's not funny.

But, I mean, it was a little funny. I'm not going to lie. It was a little funny, but it's not cool. Don't crack glasses at home, kids. I'm excited that you came through. I love you to death, man. This is phenomenal. I'm excited for this season for you.

I'm going to be slinging jokes all across the country while you're out there fucking catching footballs and shit and living that fucking star life. Here's what will be going on. You'll be flying around the country in a beautiful fucking airplane with your homies playing the greatest game ever. I'll be sitting in a double tree jerking off on my iPad waiting to do shows on Friday nights.

Free cookies in the lobbies, boys. Hell yeah, dude. You know they have it heated up too. Sometimes it's not heated up enough, I throw a fucking huck at them. I'm like, heat that bitch up right now. You frisbee it right at the face. Yeah.

And I shouldn't use the word frisbee. That brings back bad memories. You and trees and shit. I embrace it, man. You do. You walk right into the fire. I walk right into trees now, actually. You do?

Yeah. Just gotta keep yourself grounded. Don't do that shit. All right. Ladies and gentlemen uh thank you for listening uh Trav doesn't have any

dates to plug other than the ones that are on fucking the chief's website as far as games goes and you know my dates at addressantino.com check me the fuck out

watch this boy on television do his goddamn thing we're out all love peace whisk whisk whisk whisk you were that creature this boy on television do his goddamn thing. We're out. All love. Peace. Whisk, whisk, whisk, whisk. You're that creature in the ginger beard.

Sturdy and ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are pugilist. You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse. Gingers are hell no. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers.

Woo! Exciting. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.