Who Are These Podcasts? - Ep139 - Attention Hellmart Shoppers (bonus)

Episode Date: January 27, 2019

We're taking this week off so why not revisit an episode that was online for about a week before being taken down? After playing a couple of new voicemails, we join Karl and Doug from way back in March of 2018. WATP was different back then. Instead of talking about Opie we mostly talked about a woman who was threatening a lawsuit and arena rock bands. I'll say it again, thank God for Opie! Buy merch: https://www.wehavemerch.com/collections/who-are-these-podcasts Buy movies: http://bit.ly/DD-WATP Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

And show time. Hey, what's up bag slappers and cazarrus. We're taking this week off. So we thought it would make sense to put a show out that we had taken down previously. This was episode 97 attention Hellmart Shoppers. At the time we recorded this, we were being harassed by a couple of podcasters

from Philadelphia. So there are a number of references to that in this show. This was actually the episode that really put it over the top and trigger the job lynch mob that ensued while I was in Vegas for Kevin's wedding. We took it down because we did say some ridiculous shit about another podcaster. You'll notice that there is one word that has been censored, it might be that podcaster's name. We also took it down as I'm realizing now because it's pretty boring too. It's definitely not our best effort. If you do make it through, there is a scripted produced bit where I show off both my acting

chops and my voice talent really missed my calling. Anyway, before we get into that, I did want to play a couple of voice mails that came through this week. There was the call that I played on last week's show. The guy was not happy with our review of Sleepycast, and just to refresh your memory, this was the call. Hey, what's up, guys? And yeah, if you're wondering, yes, I did leave a one-star review on your podcast because of the sleepycast episode and Just like how you're listening to the sleepycast podcast and getting a meat as immediate headache. I got the same effect listening to you

Wow, how about that? It's crazy. So here's an idea for your podcast actually Why don't you actually make original content instead of taking other people's really hard work and Shitting on it you guys are like a let's player shitting shitty annoying people making horrible jokes with other people's hard work And content and you're acting like you're doing something important in the world So I played that on the show last week and lo and behold we had a couple of people call in and Defend us against this asshole. This was the first one. Okay, okay. This one's for the retard that called you really bad and says that you're like, let's

players about sleepycast. Half the people on sleepycast are now let's players. This dude is fucking corny. Fuck that guy. Also we got some support from our buddy boomer guy who has embraced his new moniker hey carl and whatever read comedy reject he has on the fucking show hey it's your boy boomer guy because i guess that's my fucking name now

you you fucking came up with anything but sure you know live up your boomer pretend potential anyways uh... just one is they uh... to that fucking little sleepy cabin little uh... fucking uh... retard buddy the sleeping cabin shit has always stuck they're all fucking retarded yet they're all bunch of fucking sped lords who have like distorted the uh... believes on the fucking uh... bible and shit and then when the ones that count like cornered over their shit they start backing up and like that's a joke that's a joke that's a joke

there are bunch of fucking retard don't ever fucking listen to it don't ever take anything to sleep the cast has to say it like has to say it seriously there are bunch of like poor fox who are starving and then got lucky because jesus did they had they know a lot of Jews and fucking Hollywood. Anyways, keep up with the great work. I'm gonna leave you like seven more voicemails. So go fuck yourself, bag it. And he did leave a seven more voicemails and we'll probably recap some of that next week. One more call that I want to play our buddy Boomer Guy is called with a lot of different conspiracy theories and has decided

What the relationships are between myself and some of our co-hosts and Andy who it's been determined as my brother-in-law for some reason Decided to call in to address this. I think he gets confused about who's saying what but it's all very confusing. He got fuck Rumpus who's also Noah and then he got Boomer Guy who I think he calls Millennial Dush and it's very confusing. Hey Carl, if you're brother in law, I just thought I'd call and break up the endless voicemails from Boomer Guy or Millial bitch or I call him Noah. Noah friends. Why does he call so much? You must call every time he gets poned at Fortnite

and an 11 year old calls him a homo. We have to dial a phone number with no one at the other end of it so that he can pout into a void like a classy hero. I think we're giving us the first documented case of tiny dick energy. But you know, it'll build a infinite possibilities where I'm your brother-in-law, right?

I married your brother and we have adopted twin Chinese daughters together. You let me be on your podcast, that's a possibility. But I think it's also a possibility that Millennial bitch is your illegitimate son. He keeps calling to the ones dead, his attention, and he'll get it good or bad. But when he was born, Carl took one look at his fetal alcohol

face and decided then and there to take up smoking so that he could go out for a pack of cigarettes and never come back. That you don't keep calling Noah. Well, we love your phone calls and I love shitting in your mouth. Alright, well said, Andy, I think. I don't know, I tuned out. We're going to play this episode of Attention Hellmark Shoppers originally recorded in March of 2018. We'll be back next week with Vinny Paulino and we'll be reviewing the Mike O'Mara show.

Yes, Mike from the Don and Mike show has a podcast, who. So please tune in next week for Mike Omera and until then here's this. What if we do a podcast where we listen to other podcasts and then just just talk shit about them. It's show time. But I'm a bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad My cast reviews are like a global commander and a dog. W-A-G-P W-A-G-P W-A-G-P Who are these partners? And Stubble your way to be Who likes these partners? Not WHOA TV. Who makes these podcasts? That one's beyond me.

Who are these podcasts? WHOA TV. W-A-T-P. W-A-P. Hello and welcome to another episode of Who Are These Podcasts. The only show that actually listen to your shitty podcast all the way through. I'm your host, Carl. With me, as always, is Doug from the Who's Right Podcasts. Hi, Carl. I'm glad I'm back. Yes, welcome. I think it's probably my last time back, but...

Spoiler, where? Uh, later, reminder, listeners, you can visit us at whoarethese.com, our Facebook page, or on Twitter at whoarethese.com, email the show watpshowatgmail.com. We're always looking for podcast suggestions. Also, if you find this show the slightest bit entertaining, don't forget to give us a positive five-star review on iTunes. Today we'll be reviewing a podcast called Attention Hellmart Shoppers. Doug and I have both listened to the show separately. We have not discussed it with each other beforehand.

So without further ado, let's get into it. Doug, would you think about Attention Hellmart Shoppers? So as I just referenced, I said that this will probably be the last time I'm on. You're one of my favorite top five favorite podcasts. And when the first time you asked me to come on, I got really excited. Second time, a little excited. This time, you know, it's all part of the thing now. I'm used to it. Uh, but you gave me one job.

Listen to one 25 minute episodes. It's true. And you gave me like seven days to do it. It's true. Yes. I tried, man. I really did try. I couldn't get through it.

Well, I'll tell you that we talked about episode 15, and this is a scripted serial podcast. There's a storyline that's going on. I realized that starting episode 15 was probably not a good way to go. It's just confusing and weird. So I went back and listened to the first four episodes. Jesus Christ.

I know, I know. I put way to the side. I don't want to just come on here and be shitty to the first four episodes. Jesus Christ. I know, I know. I don't want to just come on here and be shitty for the sake of comedy. So I'm really gonna try to not go down to that path. So I can speak intelligently on about eight minutes of the episode you asked me to. Okay, that was as far as you could get with eight minutes. So that was over the course of Fortrise.

I have to say that as a podcast, this is a pretty decent show. It's impressively put together the production value. It's all this one guy who's putting it all together. He writes it. He does all the voice acting. He mixes it. Produces it. The whole thing. So with that said, now I'm going to shit on it. So this is the clip that sums up the show for me. There's four elements here. There's the over-the-top voice acting, and we'll get into all of that. You're going to hear doors closing.

There's a lot of loud walking going on. I think the show could be called the loud walking show. It would be another good name for it. And then of course, the unfunny banter back and forth between the characters. This is an over sweet hips. I don't care what it takes. I'm coming for you and I'm coming hard.

Hey, shit. What? I like your car. Shut up. Alright, alright. It's chair. What's up, buddy? What's wrong with him?

I suspect inbreeding. I almost don't want you first shit, brother. You're going to come to Razz's with us tonight? So do you think that's a pretty good summation of this show? Yeah, I don't know if you're watching the camera of me, but that yeah, so I think you you summarized it pretty well. Okay, it's well, it's well put together. I thought it was a several people, but the the guy that putting it together is obviously putting some work into it and put some time in it.

Yeah, I don't shit. I thought I put a lot of work into this show. Fuck. I equate it to gay porn, I think. It's, people spend some time on it. They put some energy into it. It's just not for me. That's how I felt. It's like gay porn.

If it's out of the background, I'll watch it, but I'm not gonna go seek it out. I'm, so I wanna go through the cast of characters, but first let me just kind of explain what this premise of the show is. There are employees who work at a place called Hello Mart, which is supposed to be like a Walmart, that is in the middle of the country somewhere

and it's built on a portal to Hell. So the whole store, the super store, is haunted with poltergeists and ghosts and leprechauns and all sorts of whimsical nonsense. The reason why the show exists is because the main character Daniel who used to be this fat cat on Wall Street and then was arrested for his white color crime, was sent to work at this place and he's like the odd ball doesn't fit in and we're following kind of his story.

I don't even know why I'm explaining all this. Let's just get out of it. I'm ready to check out on this show. I know, I know. That's so ridiculous. It's so fucking ridiculous. Okay, let's get into it. I want to talk about these characters

because this one guy does all of the voices and you could tell because all the voices are just over the top characters the first one is Jimmy. Jimmy is the the redneck manager and it just sounds like this guy's doing Will Farrell doing George W. Bush. Such a self-dandy. I'm gonna get straight to the point. I don't know what your last job entailed exactly, but Hello Mart is a customer service-oriented retail environment. Now what that means is that as of this moment, boy, you are in customer service.

All right, so it's pretty generic. You have the main character, Daniel, who is supposed to be this Wall Street douchebag. I kind of got a Robert Stack vibe from this, you know, the guy from Unself Mysteries. Okay, it's that real serious over the top. You know, I have had it. I'm not even going to be here much longer. I don't need you. No, I guess it's kind of British too for some reason, even though the guy's supposed to be for Manhattan. Then you have this Evan Devilkin, who's the corporate big wig guy, and this is just the generic, rich, privileged white guy voice.

This is Evan Devilkin. Please leave a message. My secretary will pass it on to me. Thank you. I don't know if that's supposed to be thirst and howl if he started that whole thing with the love I can't sit here and shit on this guy for trying to put something together and And like you said it's all the voices are characters of other people's voices right. It's not original

other people's voices. Right. It's not original. Yeah, but I don't, I don't fuck. I know, I know, I know. This is tough. Let me just get through real quick. You got this guy, Chet. He's kind of the arch nemesis of the main character.

He sounds just like the generic Vietnam war vet guy. Merlin, just my cousin. He's my brother. Nama, literal brother, literal him. Cause, so he talks and he is kind of whisperin' what he's my brother. Now my literal brother, literal him. Cause- So he talks and he is kind of whisperin' but he's shouting too at the same time. Cause he's real intense.

Then you get this- Yeah. And there one like, that's like a Matthew McConaughey or something. Yeah, so this is Jake and it's such a cheesy Matthew McConaughey impression. Hey buddy, don't you or I want a little bit. You got at least a 50% chance to survive in the year. I mean, going to here we're going to keep you safe. Oh, it could keep you safe. And he even does the alright,

alright, like all the time. Then he referenced Gunter. Gunter is this old German guy who's probably a Nazi war criminal who pretends to be a student, it's, I don't know, it's confused. And she's what Hitler said. Hitler you say it, shit. I am on a vet of any person named Hitler, as I am a typical American college student and not an elder, the German man. My papers make that quite clear.

You know, I'm going through all of these different characters because I want to give a sense of what's going on in this podcast. It's a ton of just different characters entering the room and having these long conversations that you're not sure why you're listening to it or where it's going or what's going on. So I thought that maybe by playing all these different characters would kind of give you that sense, but I did pull a clip, Doug, that I think is happening to you right now. Honestly, I zoned out halfway through.

Yes, definitely. I know. Honestly, I zoned out halfway through. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Again, man, and I, I, I, I'm worried about how this, this episode's going to come off. I, I knew it's like, fuck, all I have to do is sit down and make it through one episode and then I can talk about it and not be a dick, just shitting on something that I didn't hear. It's like, it's like the people that give you one-star reviews on iTunes without ever listening to your show. Yes, although they did hear from some Facebook group that I made fun of a retarded girl so that it gives the car watching. So here is this inner calm guy.

The inner calm guy is such a generic cartoon voice. Chat to the pet department for a courtesy call, please chat to the pet department right now. Well, you know what it reminds me of? I don't know if you watch Rick and Morty. No, it's kind of the Morty character, but it's also from the Simpsons, the teenager with the pimples. Uh, you're not supposed to put butter on that. It's just really generic. Um, here is Ruth. Ruth is a cashier. Yeah, I got how many characters do we have to get through? Oh, it's just 17 more.

I mean, sit tight. Right. You want to go and take a shit break or something? We got time. Um, so this is Ruth. She's an old lady who smoked a lot. Another generic voice. Hey, honey.

I'm Ruth. I ain't gonna learn your name though. I've seen too many of you boys come and go to bother with that. The character that I didn't take a clip of is Emily, who is the love interest in the story, and that's actually played by this host's wife. So it's Thro Smiley, is the guy who does all the voices and writing everything, and then his wife moon Smiley does the voice of Emily Here is an old lady customer named Annabelle and she's also a cannibalist

I was quite the looker in my day. I had a number of suitors That's just the fake old lady voice. It's so annoying. Oh, I'm an old lady. You're cementing why it was that I couldn't get into this. Yes. As I was listening to it, I, there was so much going on and, you know,

jumping into episode 14 or 15 or whatever it was, not having any context as to who all these people are and why there's so many different voices and footsteps as you said. It's like your eavesdropping on 25 people walking down the street. Right. And I would never listen to a show like this. I'm not into these scripted shows, especially with the over the top character voice acting. And I think most people think it's a lot of different people

He does a good job of not sounding like himself when he does these different voices But because it's one person he has to go so fucking over the top like here is here Steve Steve is the custodial maintenance manager. I know it's just he's going to go and this is this is just a fucking generic vampire Excuse me. I seem to have given you a Pride It's just like the fucking count from Sesame Street Here's Valerie Valorys and air had yeah, I had to hang out with my boyfriend So she is um Valley girl. Yeah, the Valley girl. She's the makeup counter girl.

Then you have this fucking leprechaun for some reason. Remember, the place is haunted, so for some reason there's leprechauns and... It won't hurt nobody. I'm a leprechaun. I love hurting people, you dumb ass. You've never seen my movie. Now get me, Jerry.

Or this per day little thing has got to get enough in her eye. Doesn't sound anything like a leprechaun. I was just thinking, I'm not getting part of a little thing that's got to get enough in her eye? That doesn't sound anything like a love for God. I was just saying, I'm not getting in. He missed the bark of that one. That, the only reason I knew what that was supposed to be is because he starts out with saying, I'm a love, right?

That's one of my biggest issues with these types of shows is that people have to say things they would never actually say in order to fill the listener in on what's going on. I have an example of this and we've listened to other podcasts where we listen to this one where it was a zombie apocalypse show and it was non-stop like look at that guy over there look at what he's carrying hey let's go over here down this hall no not that one let's go to this one it's so stupid no one would ever talk like that. Here is an example from this show. Ah, yes, the janitors close it. Let's see. Mop. Yes, now is a fucking.

That's very natural. Let's see. There's a mop. That's what I say when I look at a closet. I start talking about all the things that I see. Here's another example of that. Let's see, let's see. Office supply, closet. Lost, found. Security office. How many of you go, ma'am? There's so much door opening and walking. The fully work out here is like seven different sound effects

over and over again. I'm gonna talk like that at work tomorrow. That just, just near way, near way it went my way through the day. HR department, sales team. Psychological team is now here. So fucking ridiculous. That's the kind of shit that takes me out of this.

And I understand. The interesting. I understand it's difficult because it's a podcast. You don't... Maybe there should be a narrator. I don't know what the answer is. That's why I don't listen to this kind of shit. It's like, if I wanted to watch a cartoon, I just watch a cartoon.

Why am I listening to this guy do cartoon voices on a podcast? The thing that I didn't get on this and dug in your seven minutes of listening, I assume you feel the same way. It's supposed to be a comedy show and I see a lot of people praising him on his iTunes page and I've seen some interviews with this guy where people are like, wow, you know, it's really witty and satirical and I just didn't get that at all. I didn't understand. So I'll talk to you about what his joke formula is.

This is the very first episode, the very beginning. Attention, how are shoppers? Our specials today include 50% off two laces. Ladies and gentlemen, starting at 1999, and by one, get one free on 8-ounce charges of the blood of the innocent. Also, if you're the owner of a Blue Honda Civic license plate BLST-1, you left your lights on. Alright, so Doug, you know a little bit about comedy and the comedy rule of threes.

Yeah, the comedy rule of threes, I was just going to reference that. Right, he does not know that. So what this joke was, normal thing, normal thing, crazy thing, normal thing. You know what, end on the... If you could go all crazy in the normal, you can go all normal and then crazy, but you can't just sandwich in the blood of the innocent. Hey, you know, we got to fit yourself shoelaces, there's lady intimates, one of the innocent, and there is a car with its lights on in the parking lot. Uh, okay, where was I supposed to laugh at that? I have no idea. So I didn't catch the license plate on the car.

Was that a reference to a joke? I have no idea, I didn't catch that either. It was like maybe bloodlust or BLD or bad joke. Oh, you know what? Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. Now you're paying attention. Look at Jesus.

Not a job to show you're actually listening to what's happening. All right, so I'm going to go through some clips that I just call bad joke examples. This is bad joke number one. Oh, please do. Yeah. This is bad joke number one. This is the redneck store manager. Hopefully you guys were all taking notes

This is Jimmy the redneck manager who sounds like Will Farrell doing George W. Bush Anyway, this is him talking about these Corporations that this guy used to work for now. See here. You got money experience Laman brothers bare sterns and Ron. I ain't too familiar with them establishments with this sound like good, famous stores. ["Families of the World"] ["Families of the World"] Doug, why would Inron sound like a good, family store? I don't know.

I don't understand this. I don't think this is for me. I think this is for. It's not for us. So who is it for? That's a good question. That is a good question. Obviously, someone who doesn't know that there's actually well-written comedy available.

Well, so I did do a little bit of homework on this. I went and checked their website and their Patreon video and all that. There's people that are paying for this content. The person who wrote into us Andrew from Michigan is a fan of this show. He said he likes it. He wanted to hear our take on it. So that would have been great to have him come on and talk about it instead of for me. Defend your stance. It's a minute to this. Defend it. I don't know who this is for. It's not funny or witty. These conversations between the characters go on all fucking day. So last week you went and when you played the clip of this

and said you were gonna be talking about it, you made the reference about, you played a clip that was like 35 seconds of somebody walking and talking. Yeah, right? The entire seven minutes that I listened to was that walking. It was just walking and walking and walking and walking. It, fuck. All right, well now that you've brought that up. I have a entire walking

compilation that I have to play for you. Oh fuck me. It is so long. It's just non-stop Walking and then doors This show is just walking the doors all the time right back Let's do this Let's do this. Wow, can't you buy a plane of my ass? I mean, this is, this is all real time. Oh, go ahead. Do we have to hear how far the guy walks to?

Go ahead and pick up the dialogue any time here, guys. It's just walking. Are they building suspense Holding amused yes of course I'll just have to go find them up. God damn it! That's so smooth, stupid. This goes after another 17 minutes so I go ahead and sit back. Yes, the janitors close it.

Edrat, Edrat, run away. You sexy little bitch. He he he he he. Got ourselves a ceremony to perform. I am on the J.O.B. Jim and man. Hi guys. All right, stop it. I know. I know. It just it just goes. Oh, no, no, no. The crazy thing too is that there's sometimes they're running around.

They're never odd a breath or winded. They just have a normal conversation as if they were just recording it, standing in their basements. Are you really, are you really starting to pick this apart because it's not realistic? It's not very realistic. The show about the haunted Walmart is not very real.

All right, let me go back to shooting on the jokes. There is a one clip here I apologize in advance but this sets up the entire show premise and then it has this terrible joke that they tag it with at the end. Now there's one other thing I should probably mention. The store is a little unusual. You don't say. You believe in the supernatural, Danny? Daniel. No, I don't. I earned for an interesting first day. You see, the store was built on a cursed Sid burial ground.

A cursed burial ground. A cursed burial ground. That is correct, and that burial ground was immediately adjacent to the remains of a satanic temple, which they eventually bolddozed to build the lunatic asylum. Which burnt down? Killin' all 666 inmates, but that's when they built the Long John Silvers. Ugh, Long John Silvers. You got it? You get the joke, Doug? I'm back, What'd you say? Yeah, so the you know

This a lot of the humor is this thing where you're gonna say the craziest thing that you can say Oh, there was a satanic cult and there was this insane asylum and a long John Silver's Eww long John Silver's okay. We got it We get the joke Here's bad joke number three. And this is just about fish concerts. Let me guess. You wanted to find yourself by backpacking through Europe

or following fish on tour. Their concerts are spiritual journey. But for your information, no. Aye. So here's what I think. What do you think, Doug? I think that this is a huge conspiracy. I believe that so you reviewed our show at our request and you shit all over it and then we came back and tried to have a little bit of fun. I think that what you're doing to me now is payback for us having a little bit of fun at your expense. I don't force anyone to go home to show with me. Everyone is here on a voluntary basis. I am like a battered wife every time I come back. It's like this time's gonna be different.

Oh my god I can't. I'm sure you'll talk to Anthony about this out the next show. And Anthony will go, yep, I'm not gonna listen to that don't care Which is a great stance that yeah, you know I co-hosted this other show. Yep, don't care moving on What else you got? What else you want to talk about? So I apologize, but I got to play some more bad jokes. This is this would be hilarious if it were 1998 so what's with the VCRs? areas if it were 1998. So what's with the VCRs? Oh, he's sea brown, dude, all the paranormal activities.

Town is a little bit behind the times. Yes, but these are beta max. Yeah, he's as far as the radius of VHS. Yeah, it's just a better format, bro. Oh, again, when am I supposed to laugh at that joke? The beta is a better format than VHS? Is that still a joke? Is that a thing that we're talking about?

It's just a better format, bro. Oh, what? Okay, the work's gonna I really liked about this show. I have to give it credit. I really like the music. I really like this. Yeah. Check this out. This is, it's pretty cool music. He's

using a TheraMin to play the melody, which I don't know. It has a good effect. So, okay, I'm gonna recant a little bit, I think. So, you listened to the first four episodes, is that right? I did, yeah. I listened to the first four and episode 15 that I told you to listen to. So, when you listened to the first one, was there a whole bunch of characters or was there just a few characters and they've slowly built up to 15 and have 82 characters?

That is what's crazy about it. Because that's why I clipped all of these things. They just, the first episode was just introducing, introducing, introducing, introducing, introducing, introducing, this is non-stop. This is shit. And now we're gonna talk to Valerie and over here is so-and-so.

And everyone has a fucking give you their little like backstory thing. So this guy had it figured out from the beginning. Exactly, it's probably whatever voice is he's good at. He's got a figure out character as far. I don't know that I would say good at. I would say voice.

A good point. What's funny is that it's almost self-aware from time to time. Here's a clip that you're like, oh, does he understand what he's doing wrong here? That's laugh kid. There's nothing we can do, so you best get yourself back to work. Wait, if there's nothing we can do and we're not going to try to find the items he's taken, then why did you tell me that relentlessly long story? I get bored sitting in this little room all day. There's only so much Facebook a man can do.

Right. So he kind of admits that there's long boring stories being told, but I guess that's also the comedy. Yeah. So I was going back. I was trying to give him the benefit of the doubt that there's a group of people that listened on the first episode and kind of got involved with the characters that he's developed and then wanted to see how they went from week to week to week or whatever. And maybe those people you could get locked in. You know, after listening to a show over a couple weeks, you, or a couple episodes anyway, you start developing,

you know, I got nothing, Carl, I'm trying to be kind to this guy. You're exact, you're right. And I've heard you reference Howard Stern before. I still listen to Stern even though most of my friends have dropped off at this point, because for some reason I actually give a shit about what JD did over the weekend. And you know, he develops these characters that I shouldn't care about, but

I actually listen and I want to know if Richard Christie got drunk watching the Super Bowl. I don't know why I care about that, but yeah, you get sucked in and you can listen to things and if you just played it for someone at random, they'd be like, why would I care about this? One of my listening to. So I totally understand that. When I don't understand, because it's this not for me, is this whole fictional characters, why would I be interested in any of these

made up people voiced by this guy? Well, if you go to, I hear a lot of people talk about Rick and Morty, I've never watched it, but for me, it's like family guy. Yeah. Family guy, it's a bunch of made up people with cartoon voices, obviously.

And you kind of care what happens, maybe not from week to week, because I don't know that the storylines connect, but you do care enough to watch it and because of entertainment. Well, it's just a comedy show. I'm only watching family guy to laugh a couple times. This show, there's no laughing to be done.

I couldn't have been, and I'm trying, I was literally trying to enjoy this show. I think I said on the last episode I was optimistic about it, it had a lot of good reviews, it seemed like it was a lot of work being put into it, and then it's just flat. Like here's an example, this I call dynamite dialogue. Which way are the stairs from here? Turn right. Go to the end of the hall. Only stay well in the building. Take you from the rooftop to the basement.

Boring. What is- who is that for? He's explaining specific instructions at how to get somewhere in this make-believe place. It doesn't exist. Why would I possibly- That can be entirely out of the building get it from them. I want you to reference the map.

You can find it on our website and you'll see that, I mean, this isn't fucking Lord of the Rings. I'm not that invested in this. I need to know the entire fucking proximity of where these people are inside the building. The theater of the mine, Carl. It's all theater of the mine. I don't, I guess I don't understand

the theater of the mine thing. All right, so here is where they first introduced paranormal activity. And this is where the character who comes in, who doesn't believe anything's haunted, this is where he realizes that it is haunted, and just throws in, again, they're just tagging everything with lame jokes. Yes, I definitely do not believe in any of that. I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running, I'm running Ghost Hand! Ah, don't you worry, a hand usually just leaves him in the basement. Carlos is going to be fine. I was just the hand showing off. Zehander said your showbought.

You're all serious. This place is actually haunted. Yeah, like, super haunted, bro. Not just haunted. It is a nexus for supernatural activity of all sorts. Who under the office is comprehensive health insurance? Excuse me, young man. That doesn't mean-

Are you waiting for me to tell you to stop it or what? That doesn't mean I know, these are long, Cliffs, but there's so much context to get through. It doesn't even make sense. No wonder they have such a comprehensive health insurance plan? Is that just supposed to be funny? Because, oh yeah, retail. They don't have comprehensive health insurance plan. Is that just supposed to be funny? Because, oh yeah, retail, they don't have good health insurance. What's the joke there?

I'm confused. So I think what you're missing Carl is, it's not about the joke, it's about the satirical look at the society that we live in today and how, I don't know. You know what's funny about that? Is, I think there is this social commentary aspect

that the people who like this show like about it. It's just very thin. It's not all that impressive in my opinion. Right, so I don't look at the style of writing as a view of the social commentary or social commentary on how things are going in this country or this world today. I think it's long rambling

dialogue that just happens to line up every once in a while with something that's happened in the last month. Yes. Yes. Let me show you an example of that. This is how they kick off. Oh, fuck. This is not me. Every time you talk, I'm going to play another clip. I'm sorry. That's how this goes. We're going to be done with this pretty soon, but this is the beginning of episode four. Again, it's that jokie part where it's the Intercom of the store Do you like games? We have lots of games here Games to a while away the pointless hours between your birth and death

Games like Serial Soul, or Mon monopoly the real housewives of the candy land Sellers of Milwaukee and Uno Syrian civil war monopoly The comedy rule of force It's like ridiculous thing ridiculous thing ridiculous thing an Udo get, no, no, you should've gotten the Udo sooner. You didn't have to do the fucking candy lad joke. How many people do you think, Guffaud, on Uno?

I don't think anybody did. Oh, that was clever the way he dropped in there. Ooh, Uno, but the thing that struck me about that was the whole Syrian civil war monopoly. Makes zero sense. It's obviously thrown in there to be like, well, this guy has something to say. Does he? Does he have something to say?

Am I supposed to read into that? Here's another thing that I realized about this guy. Now this guy, and I'm not shitting on him. I think he's talented. I think he's doing a good job. Wait. I know. Well, I good job. Wait a minute. Wait a minute, you're so foolish. I know. Well, I had to put this in perspective.

Compared to those Canadian teenagers, we listened to last week. This guy is a fucking rocket scientist, because those women were dummies. But here is, he doesn't understand. He owns a pet store with his wife. I don't think he understands what white-collar crime is. Here's him having the main character explain his crime.

What exactly was the crime? I uh... invested... retirement funds... swindled from senior citizens into fraudulent real estate in Syria. Then I used those profits to buy stock of certain emergency medical supplies based on inside knowledge of anti-vaccination groups there by creating a false shortage in driving up the price

and creating a And... Creating a... My, uh, measles epidemic... Cuck! Cuck! Did that make any sense to you? Did you follow that at all? Yeah, so ask me what the crime was.

Yeah, uh, Doug, what was the crime that he committed? I think he did a short sell on medical supplies. That would be the way to describe that. Exactly right! The way he gets there is so nonsensical. He swindles retirement money from old people to invest in fraudulent real estate in Syria. This guy has no idea what Wall Street is actually doing. Why would you invest in fraudulent real estate? If you've swindled the money, then you're done, you're good. Move it on. That doesn't make any fucking sense.

Oh, fuck. Um, honestly, I zoned out half way through. I don't know. I don't have anything else to play from this. Oh, I think we summed it up. Yeah, I don't. I got a couple questions or maybe just eight questions for you. Did your wife listen to the shows that you listened to to to review? Or do you just like yourself in your room? Not usually, not usually. Um, sometimes if it's one that's really over the top, I'll tell her to listen, but no,

she, it's usually just me and, you know, I have the ear buds in, walking around the house, getting angry. And this weekend, this weekend, Doug, I, I, I know that you know how this feels now. It starts to get to the point where you're like, what am I doing with my time? I could be having conversations with friends and making memories and I'm fucking listening to this gount-off nonsense on purpose

and I have to fucking retain what's going on so I can talk about it intelligently. It's not even the sound of the background, I'm fucking paying attention to it. I don't know how you do it. I, it's getting old. I know you like the one you did with, whatever the fuck that crazy guy is, Alex Jones.

Alex Jones, yeah. So that would be a fun one. I would have loved to have been involved in that. Yes. Alex Jones is a fun show to listen to. But doing shit like this, like I think that the time that you play the clip is probably, so at the teaser,

you play a clip of the show you're gonna do next. I think that's probably the second time you've heard that clip. I think you pull it and then you play it on the show. And other than that, I don't think you've listened to the show that you're about to review. No, I never listened to the show

until about the day before we do the podcast. So change that format. It's a good point. I could literally set myself up for success if I were just listening to the fucking show and be like, no, don't want to do this one, fuck that. You know, I knew within the first five minutes of my seven minutes of listening to this,

that I wasn't going to be able to pull any clips out of this because I just couldn't. There was nothing there. It was like shitty voice, shitty voice, shitty voice footsteps, shitty voice, shitty voice, shitty voice, shitty voice, shitty voice, you're stuck. You have these conversations just go nowhere. I tried to play you some clips. They go on for 47 seconds because this conversation just goes on and on and on. It's hard to like take something out of context and really understand what the fuck they're

even talking about. So yeah, this was a tough one. This was a tough one. White clip. I like how you just acknowledged how you do your show though. It's hard to take something out of context on this show. I've been accused of doing that once or twice. I don't know why. All right, so Doug, what I've done, just

to prove to you that I've spent way too much time with this fucking show, is I've gone in and decided what would WATP sound like if we had a scripted show with nonsense voices and fully work. All right. So this is the WATP scripted show coming soon to iTunes. I should probably check my emails. Let's see dear WATP you guys are assholes. Dear WATP why don't you eat a one dick off a short pier? That's a new one. Hi, WATP. I want you to know I'm a big fan of podcasting. Unfortunately, WATP is the clown shoes of podcasting.

Eat eight. Hmm. Oh, what's this? For my syndication company, please call our customer support line immediately. Shit. I better walk over to grab my phone. Now I should dial that number. Yeah, yes, hello, Carl.

This Steve, Thanks for calling us Weird that I would get through to you directly. It's a pretty large company and how did you know it was me? Look, it's important. We keep things moving It's on record that people's attention spans are shorter than that of a goldfish. Oh, yeah, I heard that somewhere Anyway, here's the deal. There's this bitch with no sense of humor and a lack of understanding when it comes to satire. She wants to shut you down, Carl. Well, let me guess. The woman who exploits victims of crime so she can sell security systems to soccer moms. Yeah, that's precisely the fuck we're talking about, Carl. She will be serving us papers. I suggest you talk to your attorney. Thanks for the advice, but my attorney sucks at writing parody songs.

Okay, gotta go. Jen from the Jingles department. Perfect timing. I need you to write a new song. Why? Does someone on iTunes call you a bag slapper again? You know, I think we've kind of exhausted that one. No, Jen, no more bag slapper songs. We agreed on that. It's got to be about that asshole with the shitty crime show. Oh, you mean twisted Philly. No, not that one. True crime 204. No, the one about autistic runaways. She's trying to sue us. I'm gonna need the best parody song that you can come up with. I got it. I'll use the four seasons, oh, one a night, and change it to, oh, what a cunt.

Oh! No, I was going to remix her vocal crutches with Russia's YYZ, but your idea is way better. Hello? Hey, Carl, it's Doug from the Who's Right Podcast. Hold on, Doug. Someone's calling on the other line. Oh How well is this car from what is this podcast?

Yes, I'm calling on behalf of the iTunes store We're taking your show down because one person complained Unless of course you disagree with us doing that. I do disagree with you doing that. I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I- All right, Doug, that's inside reference, after inside reference. So thank you for crow barring my appearance in there somewhere. I appreciate that. I need you to like that. You get one sentence. I sounded a lot like that heavy smoker from the...

You should have seen me try to do my Dug in Prussian. I must have done your line eight times and I'm going back and listening to disaster, no, no, no, I'll fuck it. We'll just use it. All right, let's move on. I do have the game that is sweeping the nation that everybody loves.

I tell you the name of a band, you have to tell me the worst song that they've put out and Again, I want to remind people this is not subjective if Crosion's listening I don't want to hear about how I got the wrong song This is the definitive worst song this band has put out. We're gonna do a 70s 80s edition today Doug All right, so we're gonna start with Ban Jovi. Now Ban Jovi I don't know how you feel about him. I think he has a lot of really good songs. Great songwriter but there is one that it is whoof. And that's good. I'm gonna have you want me to guess now then? Yeah go for it.

If you're ready. I will I will go with what is it you give love a bad name. Oh No, it's fucking song rocks. No, no, no, no, this is the worst song I hate that type of song where it's all triumphant about yourself. Oh, this is my life. I'm gonna do it now and do a really good job. Listen to these lyrics. He says, my heart is like an open highway. Like Frankie said, I did it my way.

I just want to live while I'm alive. It's my life. How can you argue with that? Look at that. That's a t-shirt. Listen to this shit. I'm the hardest I can only live my way. I think it's that I've been in my way. I just don't live my life.

It's my life. You're wrong. You're wrong. That's fucking garbage. I just want to live while I'm alive. He fucking wrote that down and then tries to sing it passionately. That's annoying. So I'm aware enough of your show to know that I might as well just mute my mic because my opinion on your opinion of the music is irrelevant at this point. It's both irrelevant and incorrect. But you got me on that line.

Yeah, okay, fine. You know what, I'm just gonna give it to you. All of John Bon Jovi songs suck shit. There. I was, I wasn't workshopping this with a couple people and runaway was turned out there. Like, fucking runaway rulesping this with a couple people. And runaway was turned out, they're like, fucking runaway rules, that's a great song. I don't understand this hatred about Joey.

There's some good shit going on. Even the intro to it's my life, they try to recapture the old Bond Jovey while also turning into like a Britney Spears song somehow. So it's got that voice thing to, wow, wow. But then it also has this fucking weird, like, percussion shit and I'm ready for fucking Britney Spears to tell me she's done it again. And it did come out in 2000. So I think it was influenced by that nonsense. So I asked you specifically for this reason, If you're gonna do a game this episode, can you at least let me know what it involved

so I can do some sort of leg work? And you said absolutely. And then you did. I didn't. Because what if I had told you the bands that we were gonna do, you might actually know what they were sung was. What kind of fun would that be?

You're all for one. You're all for one. No, no, no, I'm at 100%. You're the one that's wrong, but that doesn't matter. no, I'm I'm I'm at 100% you're you're the one that's wrong, but that doesn't matter. What's the bond, jovy song that starts out with? It's like Johnny used to work on the docs. Yes. What what song is that? Um, shot through the heart. Yeah. See, that's the worst song. Well, actually, that's our rules too. They get the modulation at the end where it brings up a whole step and a half higher on the chorus

It's fucking triumphant. It's great, but listen to this. This is this is by Jovi's best song of all time Whoa, hey, hey, hey, fuck your life, party, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, you'll I recommend checking them out. That is their Banzhouby style song, F*** all night and party all day. Good stuff. Alright, let's move on. Let's move on. You're old for one, but you're gonna come back, I think. I got an easy one for you. Now, it's not easy because there's a shit ton of songs and a lot of them kind of suck, but there's one specifically that is the worst song by far.

This again, not up for debate. The band is kiss. Go. Um, about all of them. I'm not a kiss fan. You're not a kiss fan. You're not in the kiss army. No, no, I'm not. But let me explain the rules again. There's one song. I want to rock and roll. Yeah, that is kiss. That's fucking garbage. That's a terrible song, but that's not their worst side. There's a song worse than that. Go. You're gonna you're gonna kick yourself when you hear this. You're gonna, oh yeah, no shit. If I hear you calling, but I can't come home right now, me and the boys are playing. Do you know this song bath the Peter Chris sings? I didn't even know that was gay. Yeah, right. It's it's this

Garbage Love Ballad and they put it out on their destroyer album That's a great album and then this fucking piece of shit what this song PAYOLA was rampant in the 70s because here's the story, the backstory to this. They put out Detroit Rock City, great song, Rocking Song. The B-side of that single was this fucking song bath and they're like DJs just started playing the B-side and people were calling up and going what was that song? I want to hear it again. That's fucking nonsense.

That's bullshit. This is PAYOLA. This is Gene Simmons who's forcing the hand of the fucking program director to make sure that they're playing, that's the worst song you could ever hear on the radio. But it isn't, it doesn't speak more to you had all these, I think every rock group or heavy whatever the fuck they call metal group in the 80s and 90s all came out with these shitty ballads. Yes.

That is, you have to do that. but this is the shittiest of shitty balance. You hear this fucking synthesized string instrument? Shit, just a few more hours. Ah, it's like a fucking flute that's coming in with a fucking god. I think I hear the call. Look, if your name's that Jethro Tal, I don't want to hear a fucking flute in your goddamn What the fuck is going on? Look, if your name's that Jethro Tal, I don't want to hear a fucking flute in your goddamn ears. You know what?

It really sounds like it should be the theme song about a show with missing autistic kids that were raped. Ha, we got your new theme song. I just want to point out the same album that put out that fucking garbage track. Also had music like this on it. Fucking God of thunder. And you know, I don't know why you don't like Kestong. I don't want to get into that with you. But holy shit.

Did you, that last thing that you played, you consider that a good song? That's a good song. Oh, okay. Well, that's what's wrong as you. The way that you're doing all this, you're scoring is flawed. If I score his flawed,

well, I'll show you my work afterwards. I'll shoot you to email. Before you go to the next one, let me... Tell me what you consider, what makes a song the worst song? Is it content? Is it the instruments? What am I looking for here? Yeah, it's all of those things. When you hear a song and you go, oh, that's not fun to listen to at all.

And then it becomes popular. That's what pisses me off more than anything. Because there's lots of garbage songs out there. I've written a thousand of them. The problem is, is that people actually know this song and think that they wanna hear it. Adam Crowell talks about this all the time. People are stupid, and if they hear something enough times, they think they like it because it's familiar.

Familiarity in people's brains is equals good. It's why people my age, what are I'm saying, the goonies is a fucking great movie. It's like, no, you just remember it. It's not a good movie, it equals good. It's why people my age went around saying the goonies is a fucking great movie. It's like, no, you just, you just remember it. It's not a good movie. It's garbage. But that's how I-

I think the same could be said of any pop culture reference from the 80s or 90s. Oh, definitely. If you didn't grow up in the 80s, I can't imagine what it must seem like. Like did everyone just fucking lose their mind for 10 years?

Like, yes. I would fucking lost their mind for 10 years. I don't know why. We can't get those that time back. It's God. Top Gun is considered a classic. If you go back and look at it, it is a shit show about two guys playing volleyball on the beach. Yeah, going back to your gay porn reference early, that's pretty much all that movie is. It's just homo erotic fanfiction. Which Which apparently how I spend most of my time because I make a lot of those references. You do seem to know a lot about it.

All right, I have a band here. How do you feel about the Eagles? All right, that I'm okay with. Okay, it's a polarizing band. There's a lot of people who hate the Eagles, Bigel Bowsky, made it popular to fuck the Eagles, kind of thing. They put out a lot of great songs.

Um, you know, obviously in the 70s, they got back together again. They put out more music. So I gave you a little bit of a hint. What's the worst song that the Eagles have ever done? I will go with hotel California. That's my personal worst song. That song, fucking, is amazing. The guitar solo is a loan in that song. This song, fucking, is amazing. The guitar solo is alone in that song.

Could be a little separate. Fuck, you keep going back and forth, Carl. This is bullshit. You go, if it's good instrumental in your guess, says one thing, because of the words, then you flip flop. I think you have a list in front of you that if Doug says this, then I say this. Then I say this.

There's no winning on this show. I have every Eagle song pulled out just in case. Yeah. No, no, no, no. This song is so much worse than Hotel California. And I think you're gonna realize it as soon, get over it, get over it, all the time and cry, get you to think it over it, get over it, get over it.

That's so fucking douchey. When he gets it into the, you're always whining and crying and pitching a fit, get over it, get over it. That was the sign they put out when they got reunited again in 94, I think. It's very reminiscent of Beverly Hills Cop. That's where my mind went when you started playing it. Yeah, it's a song that should have been buried during the credits of a movie. It should not have had a fucking music video with, you know, I don't know where it

charted that, but it was being played at Nazim when the egos got back together in the 90s. And that is just a fucking garbage song. It sounds like it's written by a middle schooler. Get over it. Yeah, I'm going to tell this teacher. I'm not bringing my homework in. Get over it. Yeah. All right. Guns and roses. Guns and roses is a great band. They, uh, they are responsible for what I consider to be the greatest rock album of all time at Petyra destruction. All right. So are you going with songs that they covered or something that they had to write? You are smart, my friend. This is not a sign that they wrote, but God damn, is this a sign that they're known for? I gotta go with knocking on Heaven's door then. You are exactly right.

This fucking garbage song with exo-rose doing that amote. Nyaaak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, naak, It's not that fucking deep and important that you have to sing it like that.

The song is ruined by this live version that they did, that the local classic rock station would play, I think, under contract three times an hour. Do you know what I'm talking about? Where Axel starts doing the fucking, let's break it down and then they start doing the crawl participation. Just the people on the left. No, no, no, no, no, it's a holy shit. The worst part of any rock house is when the band breaks it down. And then we got some fucking go through

17 minutes of this chorus with I sing it, that new sing it, that he sings it, like, okay. We got it. The great part is you pay all that money to go to a show to watch your favorite artist sing a song. Yeah. And in turn, he just stands up there and has you sing it to him. Yeah.

And I got to listen to the asshole next to me screaming it because he's never had a fucking Miller light before. And it's like, dude, all right, we get it. You know the lyrics to fucking knocking on Heaven's door. Relax. Calm down. It's not that impressive. The other fucking band that does this is Judas Priest with you got another thing coming

Holy fucking shit. There's a live version of that where they break down you got another thing coming It's not even that great of a song layer. I don't know why they're so impressed with themselves that they have to fucking drag it out for eight minutes of You know, just the bass and the drums and and now you sing it, you got another, it's okay. Now, only people wearing red shirts, it's like, fucking, hey, I mean, look at I like a nice bathroom break as much as the next guy, but can we fucking move it along here?

There's other songs you could be singing. Now, only people whose dads went out for a pack of cigarettes when they were young and never came back at your turn. Ha, ha, ha, ha. All right, so there's one more band that we're gonna get to. You're one for four so far. cigarettes when they were young and never came back at your turn. All right. So there's one more band that we're going to get to. You're one for four so far. You're pretty much an anti-territory as far as scoring goes. But this band, because you cheat, there's no cheating.

There's no subjectivity to this. This is just the truth. All right. This is a band that again, I like a lot of what they've done. A lot of great songs over the years, but there is one specifically and I do have a specific reason why this is the worst song that is probably you're probably gonna yell at me because it's like fucking breaking all the rules, but Motley Crew. Oh fuck Motley Crew. Oh fuck. Motley Crew.

Motley Crew is a song that is... I'm gonna go with Girls Girls Girls. Oh shit, you know. I feel bad. Girls Girls Girls is definitely in the running. It's in the bottom five. But this song is worse and you'll know why. time but there was a reason why I did that. That fucking riff is 78.3% of this song. It's just that that's the first riff you learn when you get an electric guitar. Everyone fucking can play that

riff. It's garbage. All right now I'm coming back at you this I think you're wrong. Here's here's why. Friday night and I need a fight. My motorcycle and a Explained knife, handful of grease in my hair feels right, but what I need to get me tight are those girls girls girls You're telling me that that is better than the one you just played. So Okay, again, it's it's what the scoring criteria is because you're explaining these god awful We're except our embarrassing to sing and I agree with everything you just said That would that is the makings of a worse song however Because I've had a play in fucking cover bands and every goddamn cover band I've ever been in it's like let's play looks to kill like fuck

No, no one wants to hear this riff anymore. It's so played out. This is not a good song. And when I So this isn't the worst song by the fans. This is the worst song the car wants to cover It's the worst song by the band every fucking cover band have ever seen plays this fucking song looks the kill It doesn't make it a bad song. It goes nowhere. It's just this one riff and There's no vocal melody. Wap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap. Like, okay, there's nothing going on there. I'm not going to eat. On Halloween and New Year's Eve, Yankee girls,

you just can't be beat, but you're the best when you're off your feet. That is deep shit, Carl. How can, I don't know how you can argue with that. You know, I don't want to set this precedent that you can argue with this game, but you might, you might have a point there. We might have to go back and look at the score card again.

There's gonna be some reconfiguring of the scores. That is a shit song, you're right. But you know, it puts me in a happy place that song because when you hear it, you're usually in a strip club. That's not the fucking criteria. Yeah, that's not the criteria. All right, I want to read a recent review that we got on iTunes.

I typically don't read the positive ones, but this one I thought was interesting. It's a four star review. So you'd think like, oh, this person likes the show, but then there's nothing positive about it all. It says, I'm taking one star off. I'm a big believer in taking something in the spirit in which it is intended.

But I do have to recognize one problem with the show. Some of these small struggling shows are being picked apart without getting a second chance. Granted, some of them don't deserve a second chance. But if you're only listening to one episode, you can't say for sure that they weren't having an off day or that it doesn't get better if you listen on. I think podcasters understand this, but regular pod listeners might not.

I think it would make more sense going after some of the terrible shows that actually make money. Those guys can afford to lose a listener or two, but in the spirit of fairness, you're welcome to go after my show, I'm fine with being hated. And this is a guy from the M. Hog podcast, some metal show thing. So Doug, I wanted to read that to you. I think that's metal hand of God, isn't it? I think that's what it is. That's exactly right. Yes. Are you familiar with that? I am. I just started listening to them. Oh, cool. Well, I wanted to play that one for you because we've had

this conversation before. If I shit on a show that is doesn't, a lot of people don't listen to it, it's not going to change how many people listen to that show. Right. Yeah. Absolutely not. People aren't checking it on my scorecard to tell me what fucking show don't listen to. There's nothing to do with that. I would, I would, my opinion of your show is that you are not going to, you're never going to take away any listeners from a show. No. And if anything, you will get people curious,

enough to go check it out on their own. There could be people who like this dry, no humor, serial nonsense of Hellmart shoppers, and have at it. It's well-produced. There's a lot of shit going on and noises and talking, go for it. For all you know, there's somebody with a,

like a walking fetish or something, they're flushing in. Yeah, it's fucking, kind of fucking chubby at his face. It's like I was playing that compilation. Or there could be somebody that lost their legs in the wall or something that just wants to hear that sound again. I don't know.

Yeah, that is a fucking weird one, man. What kind of shoes are they wearing? Why would it make that much noise? Have you ever walked around in a Walmart? You don't hear people walking, and yet there's hundreds of people walking. It doesn't make that much fucking noise. I do not understand that.

All right, we've done it all. We've talked about attention, how much shoppers. We've played the name that we're song game. We wrote this. I think I ended up tied on if I remember right? Yeah, I think you were five or five. Who can remember? I like that better.

So you know what that means. It's time for. Oh, Jesus. Oh, Jesus. Oh, Jesus. Oh, Jesus. Oh, Jesus. Oh, Jesus. It's time for All right Doug this is the part where you get really disappointed Because you say oh that doesn't sound it's gonna be fun at all

Why would I listen to that and yet the whole point of this it's a tease people and get them excited about next week's episode Yeah, again, it's the part of the show with endless possibilities. Endless possibilities. Before I play this clip, there's probably people thinking like, oh shit, it's going to be my podcast, is it going to be that podcast that I submitted? People are on pins and needles right now. They cannot wait to hear what's coming up next. Before you play it, I have a question. Do you already have your co-host picked out for next week?

I don't. Okay. Actually, I should I should point out we're gonna take a week off next week. My ex co-host Kevin is getting married in Las Vegas, so I'm not bringing the computer with me to Vegas, but We'll be back. What's more important car? Your fans or your friends? I actually the last time I went to Vegas I did bring my computer and I did a show with Kevin and As I was staring outside at the fucking landscape like what am I doing? Should be like you know You know what you should do is just take a recorder and review the wedding as it's happening. Oh, that's actually a really good idea I just shit all over the bride. I'm sure she's love that look at that fat slut I'm sure she's loved that. Look at that fat slut sitting up there.

Doug, do you want to do this with me? It sounds like you're auditioning. You're in. So yeah, you send me the ticket. I'm there with you, buddy. I'll do a Facebook live it or something. So you can see what's going on. All right, we've kept people waiting for it long enough.

I'm ready to hear what this next episode is going to be about. All right, here's the teaser for next week's WATP. We made an effort to, in these last few episodes, before we take a, before I go on hiatus, to cover the remaining He-Man material we have not covered. Episode zero, we did He-Man. We did the He-Man and Shira Christmas special. We did.

It's a piece of a while, but we did it. We did the He-Man movie. We did a different episode in the later season of He-Man to see if that was any better. What held up, all right? Okay. This is a show called Heinsight is 30-30. The episode is number 149, the new adventure of He-Man from February 16, 2018. So this is coming in at 150 episodes. This hindsight is 30-30.

And the reason why we're gonna be reviewing is because the co-host Jason wrote in and said, well, he suggested this show and he said, you can feel free to be as savage as you want because as the show approaches 150th episode, I'm gonna go on hiatus. After three and a half years of watching old stuff once a week, I'm burn out,

and we'll be turning the show over to my co-host, Matt. So it's interesting because I feel that I'm done with it. Please shit all over it. Yeah, I know, that's kind of shitty. Yeah, man, here's this podcast. Go ahead and take it over. By the way, everyone thinks it sucks.

Here's a review of it. But yeah, so this is like the, we were talking about before before the nostalgia. It's all about going back and looking at old movies and TV shows and discussing he-man apparently. So, yeah, we're going to be reviewing hindsight is 30-30. All right. Well, good luck. Well, Doug, I want to thank you again for taking the time to come on spending seven or eight minutes and listening to that podcast. I asked you to review. You know what's funny about that? Is that I asked you to fucking review a podcast?

It was two hours and then there was one that was three hours. This time I go, good news. It's 20 fucking minutes. Can you listen to the show and you just threw your hands there like nope. can't possibly get to this 20 minute fucking show with all this production value all these fucking you know if you're just like a baby just the noises alone you think would keep you engaged but you couldn't take one for the team. Oh I feel like I did. Well hopefully this is not your last appearance on on WATP quick plug for who's right podcast.com Check that out. I'm sure Anthony will be bitching about us on the next episode coming up. So anything go fuck yourself. I Know he doesn't listen to the show so I can say that

Well, please join us again in the of weeks because it might be the episode where we find out what's in furrow. Who are these podcasts? Sleep well, everypony. Party in the must-vis of Morning Radio. Get out and show these cold white cow. There were no laughs! You need an eye! Be more funny! What the fuck?

You're a man! You're a man! You're a man! You're a man! I don't know. I don't get it. Makes no sense.