Who Are These Podcasts? - Ep143 - Phil in the Blanks

Episode Date: February 24, 2019

This week we talk Dr. Phil with Dick Masterson. Dick was on the Dr. Phil Show back in, what we call, the day. Get ready for some self help mumbo jumbo. We learn that you should improve yourself while judging other people. There's nothing I don't agree with. We also force Dick to listen to The Biggest Problem in the Universe, episode 77 (the one he wasn't on). I owe him one after this.  Remember to buy movies and shows here: http://bit.ly/DD-WATP and use promo code WATP15.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Carl has one of my favorite podcasts ever. Who are these podcasts? It's called Run by a guy called Carl. Who are these podcasts? It's a podcast review. I was on Who Are These Podcasts yesterday. It's a great show. Have you ever listened to it?

I have not. Cuzz. Cuzz a Roo. Cuzz a Roo. Slapper Rooney. A Drinky Pooh. Who are these podcasts? They do a show about shows. I think it's a very interesting podcast to listen to,

especially when they go after someone. I thought he was gonna break down what it's all about for to turn new people onto interesting podcasts, is it? Yeah, and he just mercilessly rips on people. Some of this quite hilarious. It's hilarious! The show is hilarious. It's hilarious the show is hilarious W a tp That's what you do our our call letters there dickriters there, Dick. Yeah, I saw that.

You're such a radio nerd. W-L-A-T-P. I love it. Hello, bag slivers and cousin ruse. Welcome to another episode of Who Are These Podcasts. The only show that takes itself more seriously than Ellen Page. I'm your host, Carl, with me this week host of the Dic Show,

thedicshow..com dick.show. It's dick master. Hey, what's up, buddy? Have you been here? I love this show. It's the only professional podcast on the internet. We love having you. Thanks for coming back again.

If you'd like to support the show by our merchandise, go to who are these.com. Click the link to our we have merch.com page. You can also click the link over to deepdiscount.com and in February use WATP15 for 15% off your purges at deepdiscount.com. Also on our website you can find our voice mail number, our email and a link to our subreddit. We encourage our listeners to give us a five-star review on iTunes and then shitttle over some of the comments section. I have some new comments to read today, Dick. Let's see your own.

We're up to 412 one star reviews. And I think some people are doing it right. I think some people are giving us one star and saying nice things like, no, it's the opposite. Got this. You and me. I loaded up your podcast and it was like a two and a half stars. And I said, yeah, it's about right.

There's definitely more hate coming to love. Today, we'll be reviewing a podcast called Phil in the blanks. This was a suggestion that came in from someone and I have holidays. I don't remember who told us to do this. If it was the subreddit or Twitter or email, I couldn't find it. So somebody suggested that we get you on and do the show, which is brilliant. Dick and I both listened to the show separately. We have not discussed it with each other beforehand.

Let's get into it. This is a podcast that's hosted by a guy named Dr. Phil. People are excited, Dick. We have a regular voicemailer that we call Boomer Guy. And he was excited about this. Carl, you're doing Dr. Phil, yeah, for the next fucking episode. Yes, I'm happy. And, bro, he's holy shit.

So, I don't think he was out of some beds that day. I don't think anyone's that excited. Yeah, I think he's got more blanks than So fill in the blanks hilarious hilarious pond that we have going here. It's even better that Dr. Phil explains the pun of Phil in the blanks And then talks about all of your blanks that he's going to fill. It's like, oh my god. It's just a fucking joke. Can we start that?

I want to start with this episode that we listen to. He has some ones where he interviews celebrities. And I decided, let's go with this self-help series that he's doing. Yeah. And let's listen to, because I don't know, I don't know, Dr. Phil at all. I mean, you've been on a show. So you know, maybe only his wife knows him better than I do. I love that even that.

Making his wife face the man in battle. So I know him as a warrior, not as a lover. So I might know him better than his wife. So you have a perfect perspective on this. Yes. I'm going to start off with a clip where he starts setting the stage of how he's going to help everybody out. So I want you to know who you are and more importantly how you got to be there.

And I'm going to tell you how we're going to figure this out. All right, that'll help you figure out that distinction. I've got to give you some tools to do that, okay? And the first thing I'm going to ask you to do is move your position. To understand what I mean by that, I want you to fill this sentence in for me. How would you complete this sentence? I would rather be right than blank. Think about that.

I'd rather be right. So, like you said, I just thought it was a pun like his name is Phil, Phil in the blanks. And this guy is actually giving us blanks to fill in in the first five minutes. The episode like fuck He's taking this way too seriously if you if you listen carefully You can tell that when he's saying I'm gonna give you some blanks to fill in that he is saying his name He's not like it's it's a it's a homophone or whatever

So you can't be sure but if you listen carefully. I don't think he's pronouncing the word F I L L I think he's saying P H I-I-L in the blanks. You're right. For you to do, which doesn't make sense. You're right. There's only one L. You could tell by the way he pronounces it. Exactly.

Like, wait a minute. Do you think that you are now a verb? Like, the pun is there, but other people can't fill in blanks. They're not filled. And they're not filled. I'm guessing there aren't a lot of men listening to this show. There's not a lot of fills. And that was my favorite part of Dr. Phil's podcast.

I don't want to blow the load in here. That's all right. That's all right. We got some clips. It's a podcast, obviously, for women, but he uses a high school football metaphor. Oh, yeah. It uses multiple car metaphors. The hot rod that he built out

Like what do you think you're talking to a man? The women are just tuning out you can hear them dry up while he's telling these stories He goes oh guys, you're gonna love this. He starts explaining the engine that he put into a car Like no guy would give a shit about. Yeah, it's got 374 horrors, it's got, like whatever, I don't give a shit. All right, now ladies, listen up, we're gonna work on your self-esteem, just pretend you're a 68 goat,

you know the 38325 goat, like okay, man. All right, so he starts up by telling you, fill in the blank, I would rather be right than blank. And you know, it's probably, I'd rather be right than blank. And you know, it's probably, I'd rather be right than wrong or right than left, whatever that might be. So then he explains you what the correct answer was. You said I'd rather be right than wrong. Of course, you'd rather be right than wrong. Nobody wants to be wrong. I want you to move your position just for the time that you're listening to me today. And for the rest of this living by design series, what I want you to move your position just for the time that you're listening to me today and for the rest of this living by design series what I want you to do is think about it differently I want you to finish the sentence this way.

I don't want you to say I'd rather be right than wrong. What I want you to say is I would rather be happy than right. Wait a second you just changed the fucking rules asshole That wasn't that wasn't the game that we were playing at all it was right then Black and he goes you fucking idiots and he's just talking down to everyone you fucking idiots are so stupid It's I'd rather be happy than right How am I supposed to know that you just changed it? It doesn't make sense the other way is the trick

He likes to fill trickery. He likes to feel superior He wants to feel superior to people like you know what you guys didn't even realize you're not coloring outside the lines like I do I got Superior Shit is this gonna be the ongoing gag? Yes All right, so he says you should be happy instead of right. And I already see where this is going. Yeah. And let me just play. This is kind of where he gives off what he's trying to

get his shitty audience full of fat housewives to do. This is just the most basic bitch bullshit. Whatever you do, whoever you are, do that on purpose. Don't just be who you are, live whatever life you live by accident. I mean, come on, own it. Is that the worst self help? That's the most generic self help ever. The stuff that he's saying, I want to turn into like I want to force feed every girl I've ever dated. Like I like, I agree with what you're saying.

But in my experience, shouting it out them, it doesn't work. And car metaphors and football metaphors don't work. I love that I made you listen to this episode. So happy about that. This was terrible. This is the most basic self-help shit he gets into, and this is like the secret kind of stuff. This is like the secret for dummies.

He gets into the internal dialogue stuff. You need to turn your ear inward and ask yourself, what you say to yourself, what you're internally by a lot of. How do you label yourself? What do you say to yourself? Because if all through the day you're putting yourself down, if all through the day you're labeling yourself as a loser, all through the day you're labeling yourself as, I'm not, I can't do this. I'm not going to get this done. I don't deserve this. Until you change that internal dialogue,

you're never ever going to get the results that you truly deserve. All right, I'm sorry that was so long. No shit, no shit, sir, I can't start up. I'm turning my brain into a pretzel. Like I love, I don't know if you have this clip, but in the beginning he sets it up about how he's gonna help you with your life

and then he rolls the ads. And the ads are like getting annuities from like annuitytruth.org or something like that. I'm thinking. I'm thinking. I'm protecting monthly income for the rest of your life. You're a really smart way to ease the risk of outliving your savings. I pulled that clip because I was thinking like who's the target audience for this

So it's 60 something year old people who by the way do not know how to listen to podcasts This is the same mistake Bill O'Reilly made he's like I'll just take my show to the podcast your audience doesn't know where the fuck that is They don't know how to do that. No That's the demo that's that's who's gonna benefit from his Turning your inner ear inward and focusing on what you tell yourself like what the fuck are you talking? Well hold on a second dick because I'm just putting a tease this We also listen to the biggest problem in the universe episode 77 Which was the episode that didn't have dick masters in on it and apparently this

was the episode that didn't have Dick Masterson on it. And apparently this listening to your internal dialogue and being positive was news to Astaria. I have to say like the episode of this podcast where you talked about, I heard of the exact problem, negative thinking, self-defeating thoughts, self-defeating thoughts where you said, like, whenever anyone asked me how I'm doing, I just say, I'm doing great, I actually started doing that because for a very long time, when people ask me how I was doing, I just say I'm doing great. I actually started doing that because for a very long time when people asked me how I was doing, I was like, how I'm doing terribly. And I was just, you know, yeah, I was start kitchen with away complaints.

My best friends in the room, Joan, and like, you know, when we were talking on the phone, I would start thinking about it. But then I heard that episode that you had, and I was like, you know, I'm going to start saying I'm doing okay. And after I did, my life started getting a little better. Like, I thought that was such, such good advice. Um, that, that episode, the self-defeated thoughts episode was just really helpful for me. In the Stereo's defense, he was very drunk at that point.

Oh, yeah, I was going to say that's, that's my solution too of people say like, are you drunk? I say no. And my life has gone. Do you have a drinking problem? Not at all. Thank you for asking. It works. It makes my life so much happier. All right. So he's decided that Dr. Phil has decided that you have to change your inner dialogue, which will change your life. And he's going to give you the tools to help you do that, Dick. So I need you to really turn your ear inward and listen to what you're saying to yourself. And it's not enough to just think about it. I need you to go to the website that accompanies this podcast. And you'll find out at drfilintheblanks.com for this episode.

You're going to have a worksheet there. And one of them is going gonna be labeled internal dialogue. I'm gonna have a few examples there of what I'm talking about, what constitutes internal dialogue, and I want you to start making a list of what you say to yourself. Holy shit, this guy's a signing homework on his podcast. It's not crazy, but I don't know how I'd feel coming home

from a long day at the factory, and my wife has curled up on the couch with a big, with a Spanish workbook with Dr. Phil's face on the front. You would not feel good about how you've done in life if your wife is trying to get help, but I went to his website. I don't know if you checked this out. He's got all these worksheets you can download. Did he get both Phil in the blanks and Phil in the blanks.com? Oh, I didn't check him out, reader, I didn't. I like the work sheets. So it went and I found all the worksheets. This one he's talking about does not exist. So he's going to talk to his IT guy. Get this figured out because this episode came out a few weeks ago

and it should be up on the site by now. Holy shit. So he says the way you're going to figure this out is you're going to download this work should have my website. You're going to write this stuff down and lo and behold, Maddox totally agrees with it. Right. Let's. Okay. Then I'd like to give another bit of advice here for anyone who may be dealing with this because I said earlier. I said, I said that you should take inventory of your life. Here's what I mean by that. And this is it. This is actually there's study after study coming out about this now where there's they're telling people to journal and write down everything

they're thinking. Okay. So. Manics is Dr. Phil. Manliness. You need to start a diary. Not even calling it a captain's log or an adventure book like boy it up a little bit like action figures

This is a scientifically studied principle called Journaling and what I do you can put stickers all over it You can put the eyes up for you But I like to write down all my thoughts every day. Motherfucker can't write, but one book in 10 years. But he's writing all of his private thoughts in a fucking journal with which would be a gold mine. Oh my God. The function, by the way.

It'd be amazing. I mean, obviously we've had some things leak that Maddox has written before. And it's always entertaining. It's always great. Yeah, yeah. I don't even want to get into it, but yeah. What is the science of journaling that's been going on since, I don't know, the beginning of time, like all the memoirs of every famous person that's ever existed.

This is a new scientific phenomenon that we're studying. I was just waiting for a to say, so you got to go to Maddixxmission.com and download my worksheet so that you can start writing down your inner thoughts. Like are you fucking serious? One of the chances that we picked a random Dr. Phil episode, the one episode you were on on the biggest problem and they're saying the exact same fucking thing. That's a big thing. So much estrogen listening to those two episodes in a row. Dr. Phil giving, you know, I think that the Maddox, I think that Maddox and Astereos are the demo

for the Dr. Phil podcast. Yes! It's not fat middle-aged housewives, they're old housewives in the Midwest, it's LA comedians. That's what I realized. So this is again, and we're gonna go back to Dr. Phil, but I just have to play these other clips

because it lights up so amazingly. This is Maddox talking about how to deal with hard things in your life. Anything that upsets you, anything that bothers you, you're gonna be thinking about it in your subconscious. You just got dumped, you just lost your job, you just got rejected from a school you applied to. You're both the same, you're dealing with the lawsuit

and you sit down, ride it down, really take the time to do that. It's not a lot of times. Like, happen hour up most during your day. Sorry. I stepped on. You stepped on, he said lawsuit. You're in a lawsuit. He was foreshadowing. We played again. I'm sorry. This is amazing. You're going to be thinking about it and you're subconscious. You just got dumped. You just lost your job. You just got rejected from a school you applied to. All of those things, you're dealing with a lawsuit.

If you sit down and write it down. Like he had to come back to that. He was already moving guys like, or you could be dealing with a lawsuit. Like yeah, that sucks, Maddox. That's a really shitty thing to go through when you're dealing with a fucking lawsuit. Why does he talk like that?

When he's trying to be serious. Okay, you could just be, you could be dealing with a lawsuit. Like, what is that voice from? That's like a fake voice. I've never heard anyone use it. I think he's trying to be Dr. Phil. He's even Dr. Phil talks like that.

That's true, Dr. Phil. Does that mean that he's been keeping a private journal of all his lawsuit stress thoughts? Oh, for sure. For sure. And by the way, Astero's agrees this is very important. You know, I think the technique that you raised is actually really important is actually something that that Charles psychologists use to help Kids get over recurring nightmares. Why is Astero talking like this? Look at how he's I was getting really serious.

You're right out your nightmare. And then you crumple up the piece of paper. Are you rip it apart? You throw it away. I mean, that's a really powerful exercise. It's boring as shit. All right, Dick, we'll get to do it more. But when you were not in that show, it was so bad. Yep. That's exactly 240 year old men with no kids telling you that how to fix your children's nightmares.

Holy shit. And how to cure yourself to feeding thoughts when you live with two roommates in a fucking duplex that's infested by infested by cricket. You just gotta write down that you don't like crickets and then you crumple it up and throw it away and everything will be golden from that on. I hate my life. I fucked up all my career chances that were a lottery ticket because I wrote comedy on the internet before anyone else technically could making me famous. I have to get back to Dr. Phil and try to figure out what the fuck this guy is talking about? Because he has some wisdom that,

I don't know about you, Dick, I feel like everybody knows. It's not groundbreaking in any single way, but he also, yeah, go ahead. I do think that women, like I said, I want to take what he said and make it like a big sandwich and then force every woman I've ever dated to eat. Like just fucking, just do this shit that he's saying,

you bitch, I it's useful but the way he does it he just he seems like a like a preacher like it's it sounded like I was listening to church for women it's so basic this is him talking about moving your position you want to move their position tell me tell me this clears that up for you know what I said move your move your position, what do I mean by that? I mean, think about it. I can say, okay, stand at the hood of your car. Now move to the trunk of your car. That's moving your position. That doesn't make any sense, Rick.

How does that help anything? What do I mean by move your position? Well, think about it. You could be standing in the hallway and then you're standing in the living room to different positions. Wait, watch. And it's also not what he's talking about.

It's the worst metaphor. Shifting your perception. He uses the wrong metaphor for it. It's the worst metaphor. It makes it more confusing. I was like, I thought I'd do what he meant, but now I should be standing by my car. Wait, what? Again, with the cars, too.

Yeah, a lot of car talk. I told you you were standing at the stove and now you're standing at the bridge like okay, I got a car again. I don't know if you caught this at the very beginning of that clip. There was a weird added. I just zoomed in on it here Now, when I say move your position, what do I mean by that? There's a lot of this going on in the shot. I don't know how close to you listen But listen to this part right here where it's very weird editing and it's not good. It's not well done. You can tell that he was rambling and rambling and somebody in

post had to figure it out. What's it? I mean, we would go out at midnight and find people and we would race them. We treated stupidity like it was a virtue. That I didn't edit that. That was how the show came out. Some got glipped there. Something maybe a little bit too spicy. We would drive out and you know, we would hands hands on each other's joysticks.

Of course, as you would in the day, my body had a cult of a girlfriend that we just couldn't stand. Yeah, cut, cut. So that's how it, to me, like, if you ever listen to Howard Stern, they take people's audio books and cut them off to make a sound like they're saying something they never said. That's what they're sound like.

So this is an example of that with Caitlin Jenner. They're here, let me play you another clip. It's so brave. Okay, I have to be honest, I touched my cont and an enormous amount of fluid came out for many, many, many hours. And that was by far the toughest part of my new cont. There you go.

That's what the show, in parts of the show, it's what it sounds like. Dr. Phil never said these sentences. Someone had a piece together of words that he said to turn them to something that makes some kind of sands to somebody. It is all over that recording. It's all over the place. You can hear the Alzheimer's kick in and that's when the cut starts. Well, there's some parts where they can't even edit it correctly because he never said the right thing.

This is an example where I didn't clip anything before this. Out of nowhere, he just says, you're probably wondering why a 12 year old would be, and he never brought up a 12 year old, you know, listen to this. This is not just out of it. I remember that. Did I not pay attention when I wasn't thinking that at all? The first time I listened to the show, I didn't pick up on it. The second time I was like, he never talked about anything before this. You made out of thought you were, but you have always done this on purpose. Now you're probably wondering why is a 12 year old sitting around wondering why people do what they do and don't do what they don't do? I remember the split second.

I don't know. I'm obsessed with that. And by the way, I have to say this, you're probably wondering, has never been uttered by anyone naturally in the history of the world. You know, you're probably wondering, that's something that people write down. It's dialogue in a movie or in a speech. It's never once just been said normally. People turn into weirdos. As soon as they get on a microphone, they become like this, this microphone o sapien and start speaking in words that and start speaking in ways that no one ever has. Dick, you're probably wondering why I have so many one-star reviews on my podcast. Turns out people hate me.

Just people don't talk like this. So that was the introduction to this football story that you alluded to earlier. And I want to tell you this football story that he tells us is the most predictable story and it's so fucking long This is not edited by me at all. This is getting into the football story now look so I Gotta tell you we're pretty cocky. We think we're good and we look good I mean we got the best you know other black with these silver stripes down the side and black helmets and black wrist bands and I mean we think we're really bad okay.

Did you see how did you listen to how that started I didn't edit this at all. He starts off this sentence by saying now look so I gotta tell you now look so I gotta tell you where this is a professional broadcast this guy has a TV show. Who talks like that and then he fucks up he doesn't even say pronounce the word uniform we got the best unit other black. I don't know if you're a little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit

little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit together turn into a podcast. This is a positive all. It is. It's a story sounded like he is. It sounded like a retelling of like the cover of a Saturday evening pose that I like a like a like a Charlie Brown cartoon. I was thinking the entire time that this there's no way this happened.

It's right. This can't possibly have happened. Dick, by next track on the board is called made up story. And I have proof that this is a made up story. So he's talking about how his football team were the rich kids and they were going up against this rag tag team of of kids. You didn't have the right equipment, but but they had the heart. They had they were hungry. Also talks about how poor he was in the same episode. It doesn't make any sense. That is an alcoholic. Right. So this is how I know this is a

made up story. These kids start falling falling out the back of these pickups Nothing matches. They don't have jerseys none of the helmets match and the kid that lines up across from me He's got on a button up shirt for a jersey Alright, I don't know He goes this kid was wearing a button up shirt because he didn't only have a shirt So he had to wear his button up shirt to play football you can't fit shoulder pads underneath a button up shirt That doesn't make any fun on the Sabers discord. That doesn't make any fucking sense That this came with him a button up shirt that's a made-up story to lie

Also, you're telling me the kid only had one Sure, and what you're gonna put masking tape on the number four on the back? It was masking tape because the next day was going to take that tape off and go to school wearing that shirt. That fits shoulder pants underneath it. Yes. I mean, there's more, but then there's one shirt's poor. Like, yeah, everything.

It's the Salvation Army team. You're saying in the whole town, they couldn't cobble together one extra shirt for this, like a potato sack with holes cut in it that these kids could play in well you know dr. Phil grew up in sub-Saharan Africa and it's very fuller there you know what the fuck are we talking about is America this kid is playing football he's gonna home it and shoulder pads and everything but he has one shirt that he wears a button up shirt that he's put masking tape on for the numbers so he could peel the masking tape on for the numbers

So he could peel the masking tape off and go to school in the shirt the next day First of all you are gonna have masking tape residue on that shirt You stupid motherfucker. You're gonna be walking around all day with a with a crappy leftover for on your back Secondly, why do you need a number if you're too poor to eat? So if you're so poor that you're wearing jeans and football like There's no ref keeping like who's calling penalties by numbers because the kids have different helmets and they're first of all their children Secondly, they all look different like they there's no need for numbers flag on the play number four Like there's no one like calling this game

It was it definitely never happened. I don't even know if Dr. Phil played football because then he says this Football pants he had no football pants. He rolled his blue jeans up to his knees So they look like football pants football shoes. No football shoes. He had on loafers football pants football shoes no football shoes he had on loafers Yeah, for two things here To do things here, they're not football shoes. They're called cleats so there's no way this guy understands how football works He was like this guy didn't even have football shoes. What a fucking asshole And then he says so remember these kids are 12 years old he goes instead, instead of football shoes, he had loafers. You're talking about 12 year old. Playing a football game in loafers. This is made up. This is crazy.

That's way more dangerous than just being barefoot. Right. Some fucking boat shoes. Why don't you trade his shoes for another shirt? And then after the game, they get this all low and behold. Why don't you trade his shoes for another shirt? And then after the game they get this all low and behold, you know, they had all the equipment everything going for them. They get their asses handed to them by this rag tag team. And I think he should have played up the poverty level more. Like, in the parking lot, they were boiling water that had rocks in it for flavor. They would pretend to be each other's dads because they didn't have any parents.

Like, it sounds like a rolled doll version of Texas. It's so over the top. So then, well, then he tells you that he'd be friending some of the guys on the team, and he was envious of them because they had so much heart and character. Like, there's no fucking way. None of this is real.

And speaking of things that aren't real, after they get their asses kicked, I think there's no fucking way. None of this is real. And speaking of things that aren't real, after they get their asses kicked, he goes to his dad for some in-depth analysis on the game. I looked at my dad and said, what the hell happened? And he said, well, boy, you just got your ass handed to you on the platter. That's what happened. I said, well, yeah, dad, thanks a lot.

I was hoping for a little more in-depth analysis than that You think a 12 year old is looking for in-depth analysis for his father. Yeah, I know we lost But what could I have done on that third downplay to better protect the quarterback? You're not gonna get in depth analysis from your father after a fucking T. We game. The quarter back who was wearing loafers. This is made up story number two. He talks about how he used to work at Hallmark. This is crazy, deck. He's always been a cog in the China Cratic machine, hasn't he?

Yes, obviously. From Hallmark to Oprah. So he says he used to work at Hallmark. And he starts off by saying, I worked this shift from four to midnight, where my job was to take a sledgehammer to stuff and destroy it. And then he says, we didn't have any supervision.

And then I don't know why he ever said that because the story goes off in this other direction that makes zero sense I was there with this other guy. They said now, okay, you're not gonna have supervision because you're here from four to midnight And it's really noisy. We're gonna put you out in his warehouse. You're mature enough to work without supervision. Are you? I looked at him like, okay, well, you even asked me that. Are you kidding me? So as soon as they leave, I have a buddy come down and we decide we're going to be able to hot rod.

And I'm talking, now guys, you're gonna love this. 1966, Chevelle Super Sport 396, 375 horse. So that's what you were talking about. So he never talks about hallmark again. He just says, I got this job. He goes in depth about this job that he had. And then he's like, as soon as a supervisor, like if we started building a hot ride

and then it turns into the story about... In Mark? Yes, I guess. And then it turns into the story about, he was going 120 miles per hour in downtown Kansas City for some reason. Yeah, I think I said bullshit out loud. Yes.

We went 125 miles, I said, oh, bullshit. No, you did not. And he really paints a picture He's like and then we had this cop behind us and when I say they were on our bumper You couldn't put a bubble gum wrapper between our bumpers at 120 miles per hour Jesus fucking Christ fell no one's buying this nonsense We were going so fast you couldn't keep a sheep wet Like a successful forest gum.

I can't hear it now. What's all of his stupid metaphors and aphorism? So when he got pulled over by the cops, the cops came in and his one buddy, mouthed off and the cop laid him out. And that's what led Dr. Phil to wife law number one. Bam, I wrote wife law number one. You either get it or you don't.

Wow, this guy is a deep thinker. This is why I go to Dr. Phil. How would I have ever known that life law? If Dr. Phil hadn't told me this long drawn out made up story about a fucking hot ride where he either get it or get it. I mean, that's a perfect example of the things I've screamed at women and it just doesn't work.

So maybe Dr. Phil's taking, maybe his teaching method is better than mine, but I just doesn't work, man. He might be out of something. Well, speaking of women, when he does say that we all know people who don't get it. Now, don't you know people in your life who don't get it? Maddox, I'll give you a minute. Make a list. Oh, people.

And Maddox, what else does he say on that story? I love that he gives you the opportunity to just feel better than people you know and his podcast. Right. Like, let's have a moment of silence for all the people you think you're better than. I'll give you a minute. Yeah, yeah.

Think about all the people you're better than. Guess what? The answer is zero. You're listening to Dr. Phil's podcast to figure out how to live your life. This is not good. At the beginning of the show, Dr. Phil explains that he's not an entertainer

is gonna come out and sing and dance. And this is a series that I want you to get something out of. Look, I can't sing, I can't dance. I can't even draw a straight line. So that means when I talk to somebody they got to get something out of it. Because you're not looking at me for I candy. I can't entertain you with singing or dancing. Don't run, go me. I don't know if he thinks he's being cute or funny. He goes, I can't sing, I can't dance.

The one thing I do know is how to spot a real male showvonist. Oh wait, no. Oh, he, this whole, for both of these podcasts, I felt like I was being sold something. Yes. The entire time I had the sneaking suspicion that these motherfuckers are trying

to sell me something that I don't want. I hope that people have seen your appearance on Dr. Phil and understand where we're coming from. I may be almost in our subreddit later because he believed that you were the character Dick Masterson in real life. You would read the book. I think that he just wanted to know that I could do a good enough job to sell it to his audience. Okay. Like, I don't, there's no way he could, he could say these, because he's been saying the same thing I, for the entire, ever since the first time he showed up on television.

Like it's the same stupid message over and over and over. It's like his message is, you are in charge of your life and everything is your fault, except there's also that there's that twist where it just lets people be judgmental of everybody else around them with that. Like, he's not talking about them. He's telling them that everyone they know, that's what they should think about them.

Like, it's such a weird little religious inception that he does on people. And I think that's why he tacitly did not blow me out for being obviously a phony and a troll. He needed the bad guy, he's the Hitler channel, and I'm his Hitler. That's okay. I always had the impression that you had gotten one over on him because you can't even find the original video of that.

Like they have buried that episode. It's because two of the women who were on that episode sued CBS for making them be in a house with a nudist. Oh, there's nothing to do with you. Okay. Crazy legal battle. They sued CBS to gag the episodes. CBS slapped them back or something. It was like this legal back and some another fucking lawsuit,

the lawsuit, the edition zero. Yeah, but legally they can't, they can't show them. Oh, okay. Shame, it's a shame. I thought Dr. Phil was embarrassed that he had a character on a show and treated it like a real person. I don't think Dr. Phil's ever been embarrassed

in his entire life. That's a good point. So he comes out and says that he can't sing or dance. And of course I had to do the Jettis's treatment on that. And this is a series that I want you to get something out of. Look, I can't sing. I can't dance. I can't even draw a straight line.

And this is a series that I want you to get something out of. I have an OCD thing where when I hear song lyrics out of podcasts like, well, now I have to turn that into that song. I don't know why I do it, but it has to be done every fucking time. I'm gonna do that from now on. Just drop song lyrics so you have to. Fuck! Okay.

Later on in the show, he is talking about when you wanna be fun to live with, right? And he talks about how, when you're with your spouse, how much fun are you having? He throws out this statistic. And in case you didn't know, if you have a television in your bedroom, your sex life suffers 50%, 55 zero percent. All right.

How the fuck do they get a statistic like that, Deck? He says that if you have a TV in your bedroom, you get 50% less sacks than people who don't have a TV. First up, I don't know what the methodology is to collect this data. I'd like to know that. That'd be my first question. Yeah. Secondly, I don't know who doesn't have a TV in their bedroom.

That's weird, too. I wish people were fucking all over the place, apparently. So my second question is is is this a correlation or is it causation because I don't think that I'm like no No, no, no, no, I got to see Jimmy fail and tonight. Let's not fuck. That's not how that works So your TV is not gonna be better than getting laid Yeah, I'm also imagining who's watching, like I'm imagining the boomers that have Bill Maher on at night in the bedroom and thinking, I don't think shutting the TV off is going to help them. Right. They need to wheel the Seattleist to bath tubs in. If

anything's going to help these two. But that is one of the things that people like Dr. Phil who are successful. So they have a goable audience to begin with. These people want to be led. These are, These are people who are not leaders. They need to be led. They need to have someone tell them how to live their lives, what to do. If you throw out statistics, no one ever questions it. No one ever says, well, how the fuck do you collect data on that?

50% less sex if there's a TV. If I get rid of my TV, no, I'm single. If I get rid of my TV, I'll start fucking. Is that all that works? So I would love for somebody to just have some kind of fact checking. It's more This is him talking down to his audience which is one of my favorite things and If you are a mother or a father and you've got kids that are five six seven eight ten years old What about nine take a real close look and you're got kids that are five, six, seven, eight, 10 years old. What about nine?

Take a real close look and you're gonna notice something. They have arms and legs. They can pick up their own room. They can pick up their own toys. They can even make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and nobody will call child protective services if they have to make themselves a sandwich. You don't have to do everything.

And here's an interesting word to put in your vocabulary. No. The best part about that clip is that's what he says immediately following. How much fun are you to live with? And then he's like, tell your six year old fucking Brad to make his own sandwich. Oh, and I, like back to that religious thing, I can hear somebody

listen to that episode and then walk into like their sister's house or whatever and say, you need to tell these kids. No, you need to teach him some response. Billy, like, did you just heard that on the Dr. Phil podcast? No, it's mostly to the Dr. Phil podcast. Fortunately, it's only saving grace here. No one's supposed to do the Dieter Velt podcast fortunately. It's the only saving grace here. Although speaking of the homework assignment

that he was giving out earlier, he, it's a little give and take. So in this case, he's gonna do the work for us. The first book I wrote was back in, I don't know, 98. I don't know, you probably can't even buy it anymore. So I'm gonna put it on the website, the things I'm talking about so you don't have to but I wrote oh He's gonna put it on his website so that I don't have to I don't even remember being this guy's webmaster

But apparently now he's gonna put up his old book on his website. Thank you He's got a wicks account. He just does it in his home. It's like doc doc D doctor Phil three at hotmail.com. logs in and yeah he didn't like the way I form out of that he's like you know what I'll do it so you don't have to it's fine it's fine I'll just do it he's being passive aggressive no no no Carl you're that's fine I'll do it I'll just fucking do it it's gotta get done right it's fine what else do I have out here oh this is great so I think we've covered pretty well the topic of conversation that's going on.

There's really nothing earth-shattering that's going on here. But in case it got a little too heavy for you, Dr. the good doctor gives us permission to listen to this episode multiple times. So when you finish listening to this and you can listen to it as many times as you want to. Oh, can we?

I gotta go back and hear that again. So what you're saying I should work on me first? Before I worry about the people around me, you don't say. I need to hear it again. I need to hear the, I need to hear about the football game again. I need to hear the about the car racing game again. Holy shit.

The ads that come in on this show are so awkward because he's talking about this thing that he's acting like is going to change your life and then he obviously a little help you live by design right this is the living by design series right they couldn't pick either fill in the blanks or live by design so they went with both of that like this is either going to be fun, folksy show that has a pun in it or it's going to be living by design, like a little bit more cerebral pun. They chose to go with the double pun.

So, Dick, maybe you don't understand how marketing and branding works, but this is Dr. Phil's podcast that's called Phil in the blanks and this is the living by design series within that. There's layers and layers of that sense. It's that confusing at all. It's very easy to pick up. I had to send you the title because it's like wait a minute you said living by design series but it says fill in the blanks series one. Oh poor dick man you got kicked off Twitter again. Oh I know. What the fuck? Poor dick, man. You got kicked off Twitter again. Oh, I know. What the fuck? I should have listened to Dr. Phil fixed my own problems first How did they figure out it was you wasn't your handle like I'm not with dick or something like that?

Yeah, I'm against it. I'm against that would do it But I guess I was defending that guy that Vic guy I got involved in that got involved in that voice actor that got me, too. I don't know, I don't know how it works anymore. I had to buy a phone number, I bought a phone number in Belgium, and I was in a VPN in Belgium, so all my Twitter shit was going through Belgium, and they still found me.

I don't know how, Marty, but they found me. Oh yeah, I mean, you could have been a little sneaker about it than you were. Well, you know, it's funny that you go through all of those legs, but you still have your name in the handle. I was like, come on. Yeah, I got to do better. You can do better.

I got to do better. It's funny. So this is the awkward transition, because he's talking about things are so important. And then also he just, she horns in shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes shes sh that send you candidates that aren't qualified for your role. This is not targeted advertising. He's talking to idiots who don't have a job and telling them how to have self-esteem. And then he goes,

are you trying to hire the right candidate for the positions you're trying to fill? None of the people that see your show are recruiting candidates for a position right now. That's the worst advertisement you can have on the show. That's like Maddox when he hits us $400 fucking leather satchels that he's selling. His audience is not buying $400 satchels.

The same guys who are worried about being creepy perverts or whatever the hell that episode was about. Yeah, they're not buying $1,000 shoes, designer handbags. All right, I got one more clip on filling the blanks and then we can move on to the biggest problem in the universe. Okay.

This is the opposite of how self-help works. I'm not sure why he has this angle to it. You can be right again as soon as we finish. As soon as you turn me off, get out of your car, finish your walk, go back to whatever you want to do. You can go back to being right. But as long as we're talking, look at everything I asked you to consider in terms of whether or not what you're doing in your life currently, and what I might ask you to do in your life moving forward, does it make you happy? So he says there, he literally says, as soon as you're done listening to me, go back to being the same old douchebag you always has been. But just in this moment, during this 40 minute podcast, I want you to change your life. But then later, he signs your homework to do.

So which is it, Dr. Phil? Do I have to actually change the way I live my life and fill out these worksheets? Or can I just pretend to be, fill out? I pronounce that wrong, you can't be there. I pronounce it with two L's, I can do it. And then I'm supposed to go be happy, right? So as soon as I'm done listening to this, I'm supposed to go by a 12 pack and do heroin, like what do you mean here, Phil?

Hey, it's better to be happy than right. I'll tell you that True do you and heroin might not be right, but sure doesn't make you happy There's a lot of ways to translate that. I'm always doing turp it All right Anything else you want to talk about was filling the blanks You know what I love Dr. Phil now. This is this was the sole episode was like how I learned to stop worrying and love Dr. Phil. I don't know how he manages to keep his calm

while he's delivering that excrement routinely and he has been doing it for years. Like you never you never hear Dr. Phil complain about playing the classics. That's true. You're a band. They just they never they always want to show you their new stuff. Like Dr. Phil just plays the hits. He shows up tells you that it's all your fault and then tells

you some dumb stories and country aphorisms and then he and then he puts the mic down. He's like the Elton John of Daytime TV. I love him. God bless him. For it. You couldn't be more accurate. He even says I wrote a book 20 years ago, 1990, 80 something like that. And in the book, I said that. And it's like, once 20 years later, if you've heard anything since then, nope, it's also exact to the same rule.

Number one, you get it or you don't. Great, Phil. Thanks for that amazing worldly advice Will number two get get get after it get it Rule number three try hard Play the hits man playing forever. That's good. You know what this show actually inspired me And I wish I had more time. I would have put this together. I should do a self-help show for podcasters

Where I just get on and just say the most obvious shit stop saying like so much why you saying like so much? Why are you reading off a wiki page to your listeners? Your listeners gonna read a wiki page? They don't need you to read the wiki page. What are you doing? Stop laughing. That's my tip for all podcasts. Just try to get through an episode and like try not to laugh. It'll make it, it will make you funnier. It will make the episode better. We've listened to some shows recently

where the all of the top laughter. So we listened to last podcast on the left. Familiar with those guys? Yeah. That's, I haven't listened to them. It's a big show. Everyone knows that show. And we're listening to these episodes about Joseph Mangala, which is not a fun or funny topic, right? So what these are very uncomfortable talking about anything that's

Verboten right so what these guys would do is when the the subject matter got a little too heavy they would talk about home improvement that 90s sitcom. And that would just crack them up. They're like, do you used to wear these Michigan sweaters? Boah! Ha! Ha! Ha! Remember Wilson?

Remember Wilson? Ah! Ha! Ha! That guy's like the neighbor! You never saw his face! And so this is what they would do to like be the comic relief of the show. And it was over the top laughter that there's no way they were having

that much fun with that. So we called that out. They're fucking sub-right at dick. They were not happy with us. And then this is crazy. I got associated with you somehow and they're like, well, these guys are fucking alt-right assholes

because they're down with dick masters. Like, wait, what's going on here? Oh, I do as they put a podcast. I'm not talking politics. Nah, that won't wash off. They won't wash off. I'm not affiliated with the dick masters. Once you get a win, dick, it's dicks. Anyway, yeah, that's good advice.

Try to stop laughing. And you know what? Someone's going to clip me saying that and then put that together with me Fake fucking laughing at everything crows says or something. I know it's gonna. That's gonna come back to hot me for sure Well, we try to be good. We try to be better. We try always successful at it, but Jesus just try. Oh shit All right, let's move on to the biggest problem in the universe. Cell health number two. Cell health. Yeah.

So this is odd. Dick Masterson used to be on a show called The Biggest Problem in the Universe with his co-host Maddox and episode 77, you guys are a year and a half into it. All of a sudden, there's no dick. And this guy, asterius Coconose, is co-hosting the show. And Asterius has been on the show many times. The fans all know and love him.

So it seems like it's okay, because they started off the show by just saying that, you know, Dick couldn't be here. Welcome back. And welcome Asterios. Dick couldn't make it this week. Welcome to the show. They look, look, I got a big shoes to fill.

So Dick couldn't be here this week, he says. Now, now, Dick, I think you and I talked about this. Didn't Sean have to come over to your house and grab your computer and order the record this show? That's right, because they were trying to do it in secret without me knowing. Yeah, it worked. The backstory, quickly, the backstory.

Yeah, go for it. A lot of people probably know that some people don't. Before this, before episode 77 of the biggest problem in the universe, I left a wedding with a, with a, one of, with Maddox's ex-girlfriend of like three years or something like that, who he apparently was still obsessively in love with. I was out of wedding with Maddox.

Maddox was there with his current girlfriend who he lived with. His ex- of wedding with Maddox. Maddox was there with his current girlfriend who he lived with. His ex-girlfriend was also at the wedding. Her and I left together in secret. I wasn't rubbing it in his face, but the guy's a little yenta. Word got back to him and Maddox lost his fucking mind. He started blowing up her phone obsessively. He did it the following day. He called her at work and made her sit on the hold on. Hold on, I gotta stop you right there, Dick. Go ahead.

He was worried about it because you had too much to drink and he was very worried about her riding home. He's riding home with you. I think she had a DUI too and he was very concerned as a friend. Right. Right.

He's very concerned. He's very concerned as a friend. Any dangerous activities that very, very concerned. Very concerned as a friend. Any dangerous activities that might be, but that was why he was so concerned that he had a call and texture for days and weeks following that just to make sure she was still okay from that. So Maddox called me finally got a hold of me and I was, you know, I was recovering from the hangover and a couple of other things. If you know what I'm talking about.

And I talked to him, I talked to Maddox for probably a half hour He made it clear and no uncertain terms that if anything happened between her and I the show was done So then he asked the 64 thousand dollar question did anything happen? I said of course not. I would never do anything like that So we're very good friends and I respect our, I respect our bro mance more than any romance dude because I'm a, I'm a weird new because I'm, because I'm a weird new type of modern man who has dysfunctional borderless relationships with other men. That's why. So you said that with a straight face too, right? Yeah. Oh, of course. Of course. And Maddox, you know, he explained how it's the appearance. It's even if nothing happened. It's still the appearance that something may have happened.

It's still unacceptable to him. So uh, that he was going to do. He doesn't know what to do about the show. And I said, look, you know, figure it out. Figure your ass figure figure yourself out. Go listen to a doctor. Phil. Doctor Phil's podcast wasn't out of time. I know. It only was the hair for you. You clearly need help. I don't know where to send you though. Maybe if Dr. Phil had a podcast with them, you go listen to that. Oh sure. So a couple days later, Sean text me and says, Hey, this is kind of weird, but I need to borrow your computer. We Maddox tried to get his computer to record the podcast, but we couldn't get it to work, so can we just use yours? It's like, oh, okay, you guys are recording my show without me, and you got a fill-in guest. Wonderful.

I gave him the computer, like text to the stereo, it's hey, no hard feeling. I hope you have a great show. And then here's the show. And they put on this facade that you just couldn't be there. And then he goes on to talk more about how he's got big shoes to fill and what he'll be doing on the show. This worked out super, super well because I was coming in town for the week anyway

to get as drunk as possible with my friends. And how's it been going? I have two giant glasses of whiskey in front of me and I'm going to see how deep in the bag I can get over this episode. And look, you know what? I'll leave it up to the listeners to decide just how slurred my speech gets. So I'm looking forward to it, but this worked out well. Dick couldn't make it. I'm here.

They say that multiple times. Dick couldn't make it. As if they're trying to convince themselves You have no idea I can hear Maddox's asshole clench when a stereos talks about how much he's drinking and how much he's going to drink Yes, I can hear how uncomfortable Maddox gets listening to that. It's it's self-fawning as he should be because So a stereo says the listeners can determine how much I slur. I consider myself a listener. Let's check it out. They start talking about the gender wage gap. Because that's a lot of fun.

This is a fun comedy show that they're doing. The biggest problem in the universe, if you haven't heard it before, the hosts come in with a problem and they debate whether it's the biggest problem in the universe or not. And this specific episode, they talk about cowardly perverts and the virginity stigma We're gonna hear very little about either those topics because these guys get into these fucking political discussions that are yeah I'm gonna fill in some blanks for you. These two have blank sexual issues. They both bring it up Yeah, obviously, so this is a stereos and Asterios is a very funny guy. I'm a huge fan of his. He'll get very animated. He's a character and

now he's been drinking whiskey. He's turned into drunk slurring monotone Astereos. Here's an example of that. When I say it's gonna be up for debate I guess what I mean to say is people will be debating it because look There's a little capital to be up for debate. I guess what I mean to say is people will be debating it. Because look, there's political capital that may be by the debate. You know, you can go out and raise money on one end of it or raise money on the other end of it. People are going to be using it as a crutch or whatever. But listen, the thing is, do you disagree that like, generally speaking, women have it hard around society than that?

All right, I'm going to zoom in on the on him slurring real quick. Just listen to that. There's a little capital made by the bait. Generally speaking, women have it hard around society the man. This is halfway through the podcast. He's already that drunk. And it's not a surprise that I think you said this before. Manics was hoping he could just move on from you and continue the show. He tried one test pilot episode. Wrong. It was like, all right.

Ashtero's supposed to come in here and get fucking blackout drunk. I think so, Tim. Ha ha ha ha ha. Yeah, so this is Maddox's shot of a cannon right here. He's bringing all of the energies losing his shit and then Astero's who usually has that level of energy just sucks all of the energy out of the room if Iceland the most Feminist country has the same wage gap as America then it's fucking not true dude. It's just not look

Buddy the thing is it's just again. I'll say that I believe the wage gap outrage speaks to a larger injustice. Okay. Oh, man. I'd rather be right than funny. Yes. I feel in the blank for these two. Yes. I couldn't believe the parallels between these shows. And then I'd rather be happy than right is the best advice managed to ever hear in his life because that's the only thing he cares about is being right. Yeah, you listen to his show now, the best debate. And he'll suck the life out of any conversation

to call someone out. Like, oh, you didn't even know what you're talking about because I worked at this company and put it like, okay, whatever, you were trying to write anything. The funny thing about this episode to me was that Estereos will match whatever he sees in the room usually. And that over the course of the episode 77, you can see him match.

Maddox's unironic pretentiousness. Yes. Everything's serious. Everything's, they're having like a contest of who could talk softly in my Oh until you can barely hear them. This is a perfect example. So this is a stereo. She's very drunk and He's talking about the injustice that women have in the workplace. That's hilarious Oh, yeah, this is this is just great stuff. It couldn't be more fun out of podcast

I'm not I'm not I'm not debating the wage gap statistics. Like, but what I'm saying is, when you're a woman in the workplace, if you act like confident, you're called bossy. And if you act proud, you're called bitchy. And if you tell people what to do, you're called the seaworth. Or it's like, if you're a guy and look, this is just my experience. This is just, you could say this is a generalization,

that's fine, but like I just feel like, you're specifically in the workplace, women having harder. All right, cut it off there. It goes out and out. He talks about T2Fay once said this thing. And this is just my experience. Women in the workplace having harder than men.

Like, well, which is it? What are you doing? The worst part is, he goes on to say that when women are bossy, they could call it bitch, and they could call the seawirt, and when men do that, they're called brilliance. Like, well, what workplace are you talking about? Men get called every single fucking name you could possibly think of. Yeah, when was the last time you were called brilliant?

Yeah! The last time you were called any of these things. No, it's nothing but negativity. And the best part is... I remember that all the time and I am always called an asshole. It was. All the fucking time! If I have ever gotten through a meeting and I wasn't called an asshole that I think I did something wrong like wait a minute

Let me let me get back in the review these notes. Did I miss something that somebody didn't get you out for? Yeah, I think it up in me is like listen to you guys are not talking about this right? We got to look at this data point right here. I was like this guy is brilliant I'm really glad you took over the meeting like that. You fucking douche. Oh, you're jeopardizing all of our jobs. You're being well done. Well done, man. I swear if a woman just said that,

I would have punched her right in the face, but this guy, this guy's out of something. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. It's mean as fair enough. I don't know. It's been my experience, and I don't know everything about the world, but it's been my experience

that when women get called shit, it's by other women. It's not meant going. I find her to be a little too bossy if it it's a little too spicy Because a man's gonna say What do you mean woman presenter? I didn't even hear anything And then a cereals has just the best argument you can possibly come up with. He's talking about, uh, female directors not getting their due. Why is it that someone like Steven Spielberg gets to direct 40 movies over 40 years? And there are all these fantastic female directors and they get to direct like one or two when they're done. And it's just, I don't know. I just feel like there's a large resexism at play.

So he thinks that Steven Spielberg getting work is due to sexism Have you seen a Steven Spielberg movie? Have you followed what he does at the box office? Are you fucking crazy? As Terry else there was a worse example you could have picked The most famous director to ever live you can you can name off 30 movies and that guy has made that are brilliant and you're like you know what this is because the sexes of the team's feelers still getting work in Hollywood like oh damn it I'm trying to root for you buddy even Spielberg the best of the best I'm trying to see and he only got 40 movies like I know he should he should have got twice that

much and these two fuck it's also I love that LA comedians are always so, all of their problems go back to Hollywood industry that they are not in and they think they are in. Like these are two guys sitting in a, in a 40 year old Grossman's bedroom recording podcast that everyone hates. And they're worried about who's getting jobs and the upper echelons of Hollywood. Like you are not in this industry, you motherfuckers. Stop pretending that you are.

I think that's the problem is that Maddox has no frame of reference for this stuff. Not at least a stereo is actually worked at a big PR for me. He knows how this works within the workplace, but I don't think Maddox has any clue of how this works in the real world He just he just goes you know Anytime there's someone who's brought up to be part of the scene to be part of the industry He always has to say oh, I know that person. Oh, yeah, I'm friends with her. Oh, yeah, I know I know all about that Oh, they have a contest on who knows the lady ghost busters director more accurate. Right. Yeah Yeah, that's one of the things that they talk about

is this lady ghostbusters. And again, just so many hot takes going on with that. I will say that your buddy, Sean, came in with a zinger on this one. You get, they have the opportunity to fail or succeed on the strength of the script in the direction and the acting. Oh, I then, look, that's just how I feel.

I'm just saying, the interesting casting though is Melissa McCarthy as slimer. They got for Sean, he's not normally the comic relief from this episode, he had a bee. I think he stole that joke from me. Either he stole that from me or I stole it from his brother and he stole it from his brother as well. Okay, is that remember making that joke too? That's funny So you weren't there and now they steal your computer, but they stole your jokes too my jokes too So Maddocks Has this hot take because a stereos is taking up for women in Hollywood Yeah, I became the view.

It became the map of the view as soon as I left. Oh, this is brutal. So what's the America's hot take about the current situation with minorities in Hollywood? But here's the thing, it's always straight white women who are bitching about, we're not winning, we're not winning enough Oscars, we don't have enough jobs.

How many times are they complaining that not enough Korean representation or not enough Chinese Representation or how about inuits or how about Indonesians? How about Vietnamese? How about all these fucking people? How about how about one out of every six people in the world or actually two out of every out of every Seven people in the world are either Chinese or Indian how many of them do we have represented in the in the Oscars? Yeah, the women are on and they, and they're not fighting their battles. They're like, me, me, me. It's always their battle.

Look, if we want to talk about representation, shouldn't we first talk about the people who are almost never represented? How many male Asian actors leads are there in Hollywood? Who cares? This is like the Mcloven ID. Like, well, you know, the most common name in the world is Mohammed, so that's why I put it McLeven ID. Like, well, you know, the most common name in the world is Mohammed.

So that's why I put it on my fake ID. The best part about this is, Asterios is trying to say that women need to be, you know, because of the Skulls Busters movie that's coming out, because this is back in 2015. So he's trying to make this point, and man, it's coming to be like, oh, I got a hot take for this.

Did you know that two and seven people in the world are Indian or Chinese? So he's mixing gender, race, nationality. These are all very different things that we're talking about. Yeah, there's a lot of people from Venezuela who have never been in a movie in Hollywood. Are we, is this what we're talking about right now? This is the stupidest argument I've ever heard. Doesn't make any sense. Is he including like Chinese cinema or like Bollywood? No, he's just talking about the Oscars specifically. This is in America.

Hollywood we're talking about an American institution and he's like, you know who's under represented? Non-Americans. No shit. You don't say. I don't know why he's so threatened by it. Like he sounds so angry about the Hollywood thing. Like he's not, there's no chance of him winning an Oscar ever.

These guys get fired up over the most nonsensical bullshit that they shouldn't be talking about. And I give a stereos, I'll give him the benefit of the doubt because he was very, very drunk. I can't imagine he remembers any of these conversations. But he does come in with a bit right here that is really well executed. And I have to ask you after we listen to this, if Maddox was in on the gag and let it happen. Is it the parents one? No. Okay. I have that too.

I have that too. But this is right after Maddox has that hot take about, well, there's not that many Indians or Chinese or Asian and so Astarius does this. I would, you know what actually let me jump back for a second. I just want to say that this thing you've created is beautiful. It's this gorgeous thing. He's got this great hat. He's got these funny arms. What are you talking about? He doesn't know.

This strumming. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's fantastic. I just have to say, yeah, so my question to you is I know I know you can say he let that go on and it almost seemed like he was playing the role He should be playing at that point and letting a stereo get his gag out, but I don't think he's that kind of person Matt I would bet I would bet any amount of money on this. I would bet the $20 million on this I would bet any amount of money on this. I would bet the $20 million on this. Maddox did not know that he was whistling the scarecrows song.

He was reacting to the word scarecrows. And in Maddox's mind, he thinks that Asterios was whistling like a jeopardy type of music to build up for his job. That's what I figured. I was like, he can't be that dumb. He's either playing along with a bit or he's one of the dumbest people ever because that was a very long build up to you're creating a strong man argument, which was well done, well executed, but I can't believe he got that all out without Matt is trampling all over

it. Because Matt's didn't understand what the whistling was. He doesn't know that song. Like I promise you that if you whistle that song, he would not know where it's from. And even afterwards, he wouldn't be able to connect the two. That's amazing. Yeah, that's amazing.

I think you were alluding to this because, again, Astario, I gotta stop saying this. Astero's had been drinking and he said something that I don't think he would normally say on the five guys. Yeah, holy shit. Because your parents, you're not a huge fan. Oh wait, no, we can't normally say on the podcast. Yeah, holy shit because your parents You're not a huge fan. Oh wait, no, we can't say this Catch them self immediately. Oh

We guess the other podcast so obviously there were rules about what you could and couldn't talk about If you had to catch yourself at that point I think that that might be a stereos airing on the side of not wanting to ever say Anything about anybody that he's not a hundred percent sure they would want shared which is I was just very ironic Now right back at everything that happened But I don't I didn't know that was a there was a lot different back then like we did try to look out for one another That would be different. That would be that would fall under that. I meant when a series was making the joke about other people's parents and then

talking about how his parents were great. And it was everyone completely misted. Oh, all right. Let's get back into the fun, Dick. This is classic Maddox. We're talking about video games for the first half of this shot. Yeah, it's a lot of video game talk and Maddox is talking about this video game company called Konami. This is the the setup to that But Konami is a shit show right now. Mm-hmm real shit show. Tell me about I don't know what well. It's awful All right, so Konami is a shit show right now dick

It's awful. All right these guys used to make video games and now this company is a shit show I got a I got a fight. I got a fight on what's going on here? What are they regressing back to like eight-bit games? What are they doing? What's what's this? Bad so bad so I was in Vegas for a month and I was shooting this game show. And every now and then I'd pop into a casino and just check out, you know, it prudes this the floor. Uh, and it's awful and it's depressing as I remember. But I was walking along and I saw these, these, something I never thought I would see

on a slot machine. And it is the Contra logo. What? You're, it's exactly the contrary you're thinking about the old Nintendo Contra spread contrast spread gun, spread gun, uh, machine gun, flame throw laser, Konami code. The Konami code. It's

all there and it's on a fucking slot machine. Oh, my, can you imagine the horror that must have been out of Maddox's face when he saw a contra was at a slot machine? It's like, well, this is a, it's sacrilege. What a shit show. Yeah. Oh, yeah. That's the shit list. When he said I something I would never thought I would see on a slot

machine. That wouldn't have been in my top 1000. Nope. I'd never want to cover her out to Contra and survey says not anyone. This is neither here nor there. I go to Vegas about once a year. I've never seen a Contra Slot Machine. So I love it just didn't catch a hon or what place is he going to? Maybe you haven't been perusing the floor. Of the way I was perusing the floor. It's depressing man. Is it?

Vegas is my happiest place in the world. I fucking love it there. What's depressing about that? I mean, it's only depressing if your parents gamble the way your college money. Hey, listen, we don't like to talk about Max's parents on the show. Remember that rule.

Yeah. Whoops. Whoops. So this is just the last part of this shit show that is Kenobi. Max was out to say this. And I think it's just a big cash grab because they realize they have all the sidepid

that they can piss away. I think a slap is just a big cash grab because they they realize they have all the side peed and I can kiss away You believe he said that he said that seriously with a serious fucking affect I Think this is just a big cash grab. This is just a big cash grab what they're I put money in I only sometimes get money out. I know, I'm not gonna stand for this. So this asshole is upset with the corporation for trying to make money. That's the only job a corporation has is to make money. Could you imagine Georgian a board meeting with these guys?

Hey, someone gets up and they're like, I think we should diversify our product line So the way George like whoa, what do you want to make money sit down? What's our what's our goal here one of our meetings that we went to one of our pitch meetings like for you know Hollywood pitch meetings the execs we pitched to asked Ask afterwards not to ask the representation afterwards, if Maddox was high. That's how bad, if he was on something, that's how bad he is in meetings. I believe it. Yeah.

He's not thinking of this in the right way. He thinks Konami's a shit show and he said they've moved to mobile games and slap machines. And I was thinking that sounds pretty fucking brilliant to me. That's where everybody's attention is gambling and their smartphone. I don't know. You could call it a shit show, but I think maybe they've made some good decisions. And it's fun gambling on like a themed slap machine. That's the point. The people who want to gamble on it are having a good time

Relax dick. I don't know if you ever see in the movie Willy Waka, but that is a shit show That's a shit show because no, it's a fucking slot machine Like they're not even taking this up seriously anymore. What's going on with that? I mean it's a shit show I know I know it's a shit show. You're on stock and it's- I know, I know, it's so funny. I would just love to watch this guy react to normal things that all of us do not give a shit about throughout the day. Oh my God, Trump has his name on a tower?

What a shit show. A shit show, towers have become a shit show. All right, this is a clip that I have. Maddox is so predictable. He would do this thing where he'd rev up for a drop that he wanted to have. And he would have this sarcastic tone. Yeah.

And Asterios picks up on this right away and goes, I see what you're doing. But it doesn't stop Maddox. He pushes right through it and just continues to make sure he gets this great joke in. Who cares? What the, there's, there hasn't been a Ghostbusters movie

in 20 years. Just give him a fucking chance. Huh. Oh, okay. I hadn't thought about that as seriously. Oh, really. Here comes, here comes Maddox's bullshit bridging statement before he plays herself.

No, no, that was, that was really thoughtful. I actually hadn't thought about that. Maybe you changed my mind. I think you may have changed my mind. Oh, thank you. Do you have something called Asterios versus Asterios ready to go? What the fuck are you up to, Marri?

No, no, no, no. And can I have more of you whiskey please? Thank you so much. Help yourself. But I was just wondering, you know, that's a really thoughtful, thoughtful argument I hadn't considered. I was wondering if you could do me a favor and bend over so I can put this retort torpedo right up your ass buddy. He had to keep that conversation going for his rhetorical torpedo up your ass gag. Day job. I don't understand.

As soon as he got busted, he should have just moved on. Uh, he loves the soundboard. I know. I do too. I can't argue with that. Well, you do it a little faster. Like, the reason that that preamble took so long is because Maddox doesn't know how to use his soundboard. Lick, lick, lick, maboo! Yeah, exactly.

Yeah. Yeah. It's like an art or a craft as you would sit. Not just somebody trying to stab their dick into a keyboard in the dark. Yeah, oh, that was a really, really good point that you just made there, dick. Well, that's retarded. You know, yes, a... Longer.

Yeah, yes, like... It's like, it's in that length. Yes, it just... Kill time as long as possible possible as he's going through all the different tabs. You know, what I think the problem with what you're saying is that you lack charisma when you say it. You not carers Matt. Yeah. Except for I have way more drops than Mattics ever had.

I think he had about six that he could go through. I think he still has those things. I think he does. I gotta tell you, man, on your episode 141, and I'm gonna sound like a dick for a second here. Oh good. Somebody sent in clips from the best debate, and you went and played these clips.

I don't know if you even listened to them, I had a time. But you got in these short clips, you're like, okay, let's listen to these clips from Madness's latest episode and we'll talk about it. And it fell a little bit flat and I felt really good about it. It's like they're trying to do my bit right now and it's not working. I made me feel really good. I don't think it was your fault because the clips that they took were at the best, but I was just so happy that you'd play like a bit from his show and just go, well, all right, I was stupid. Okay. I don't know. Good. That's why I don't cut out failures. Like even even if I know it's a failure, and that many people will hate it. There's always someone who will like it. Yeah. Glad you got something. It did. It did bomb. It didn't work because I don't put in the work. I can't put in the work that you do. I can't possibly

I need more doctor filler than my life or something I just can't do the prep work to make that bit work I felt you were you were paying homage to WATP. So I definitely appreciated that I was You ever want to do that bit on my show. Please do anytime. I love it. Oh, that's a great idea. Actually we you and I were talking I think I'm going to come on your show Tomorrow, which will come out on Tuesday. Yeah, so well, but that's a good idea. We can we can cut up some bits and go through that. The next clip that I want to play is at the beginning of the show. What Maddox does is he plays some voicemails from a couple of collars. And this one, you'll hear Asterios' reaction to this. This is a terrible voicemail from a total nerd. There was no reason to play this.

It does nothing for the show. This is right at the beginning. All right, I got another voicemail. Hey Maddox, I am still Van Blu's who, by the fact that you didn't, since you're such a gamer, you play video games all the time, that you build a notice when Robert,

the dude from the last podcast, the recent blogger said the skeleton key, he gives you access to new rooms. I'm Van Blu's who that you didn't say, hey, that's a like like DLC. Well, guess what? You missed your opportunity there. Sean, please don't delete this. And Matt, off, go fuck yourself to, and go fuck yourself to oblivion. Christ. Yeah. Yeah. Good luck yourself, Tim. One idiot. That's a minute of my life, I'll never get back. Yeah. Oh my God.

Why did you play that, Maddox? Thank you, Serios. Why did he play that? The answer is he needed someone to argue with over a fucking nerdy video game thing, and it wasn't gonna be Sean or Serios. So we had to play that voice belt because he went out for two minutes about,

this guy's a fucking idiot. And let me tell you about this fucking thing in this video game. Bum- nobody cares. He created his own argument As much as you took pleasure in me failing at your bit. Yeah, I took exactly the same pleasure in Maddox Trying to bring in voicemails and fucking them up not only fucking up Which ones to play but playing them at the beginning of the show instead of the end of the show like we always did. That guy never touched voicemails, hated voicemails, never touched it once until I heard this episode and I saw what he brought in and he did such a fucking terrible job of it.

It gave me that same sense of pride you had. Let's talk about that because we have not touched on this and when you were on the show last time, we talked about, would you listen to episode 77 because you never have before? You've never listened to the episode that you weren't on. You sent me an email an hour before we said a recording that said, this is the worst should I've ever heard, which made me so happy. So was this surprising to you? What was going on when it was just a stereosodematics or is this what you expected?

It's about it's about what I expected. I didn't I didn't calculate the drinking. I didn't know I was serious was gonna get shit face on the show, but I should have yep the The it really like it really missed it missed somebody treating Maddox like a pull string toy where you pull his string and then he says something completely retarded that's what I that's what I did that's what you brought to the show. Yeah, that was my goal every time just pull the cord, let him say something retarded, say something like walk him into it's like a guy where, Mattics was a guy wearing a blindfold and I would just walk him into walls

every episode. And Astario's got on and didn't. Astario's is a nice guy. He's a nice guy. He's very funny. But he is an improv comedian who will yes and you to death. Like everything, the difference between the dickless show and the dick full show was a, Astario's a cooperative comedian who's funny and trying to yes and and build up your ideas versus me a hostile comedian who just wants to see you fail. And I think the fans noticed, I think they felt that,

that was lacking as well. Well, it makes Mattis look worse because the show is not as funny and you always need your straight man. Even on Seinfeld, Seinfeld wasn't the one telling the jokes but we all love Seinfeld because the show was funny. So the biggest problem until we got isolated and we saw what Dick was doing and what Matt was doing and isolation everyone was just a fan of both you guys. Like oh I like the show. It's kind of like opian anthem. Like I like these guys and then when you see what happens when they're apart You're like oh this was the funny guy this guy fucking sucks and this show makes that very apparent. I have an example of that

They're they talked about the zombie apocalypse or people pretending that the zombie apocalypse is happening and Maddox had this hot take that this was one of the biggest problems or some bullshit. And he gets very serious here about people dressing up as zombies, which is not a serious topic. By the way, I didn't even get, I forgot to mention this in that episode, but the zombie apocalypse planters, like this shit is getting so out of hand, people are dying at parties, because someone will get too drunk

and they'll think of zombie, someone dresses zombies, yo. Yeah, it's happened multiple times, it happened in Oregon, it a party, it happened in, I believe in Austin, it a party. Oh my God, are you serious? Yeah, people are thinking these zombies are real

And they pick up a shotgun and and blast them they blast their friends to kill people at parties It's fucking insane you zombie apocalypse much that's the repercussion. No one This is again, listen to Dr. right listen to Dr. Phil Maddox It's better to be funny than right this guy has to be be right so basically. Yeah, you're going on right now This is happening all over the place people are murdering people dress up as zombies because they don't know the difference between a television show and The party they're at there's no way that's true And you can hear esterios try to like hype them up and help but whereas you and I just both think that's yeah I number one. I don't care.

Number two, this is obviously bullshit and you're an idiot for having believed it. Well, Astero's actually saves the fucking day. And again, just like you said, he's an improv guy, he's a guess-and, he's a nice guy. So after Maddox says that, which is embarrassing, Astero's turns into a joke, thank God. You know what?

I'll say on the flip side first prize costumes Because if those costumes weren't good, you know when you get that spray of pellets in your chest. Yeah, that's like saying well done That's the maybe one of the best affirmations you can got because the thing is like we all want to be spook acular everyone wants to be spookedacular So Astero's BOOK TACULAR, EVERYONE WANTS TO BE SPOOKTACULAR! So, Astarius, realize that this is a ridiculous thing that we're talking about, and at least turns it into something funny. At least, it's funny. You know what I realized listening to this show, episode 77, and even Maddox's new show,

the worst debate, the big debate, whatever it's called. He's a guy who really wants people to think he can laugh at himself. And that's like, that's what he wants you to get out of all these things. He wants you to get that he can laugh at himself. Damn it. I'm like, he's like, like, I'm a good person. I can laugh at myself because he can't. Right.

He thinks he pretends that he has such a humor and that he's grounded. Here's a great example of that. We're mad at you talking about how, because he talks about this virginity stigma and this hits a stereo, it's very close to home. A stereo's like, well, I didn't get laid until I was 21. And I was always a fat nerdy guy that women didn't want to be around. And so Maddox, he wants to relate to Asterios.

And he says some things that I think he was being coy about, but I'm gonna take this as face value. There's a lot of things that other guys have that I don't. They have more hair, they have more money, they have more status, they have more power, they have more charm, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. Nailed it. Keep going.

What else? They got the love of my life. They have a future. People like this show. They have a subreddit that's active. It's amazing. There's one clip on here that sums up this show. Look, it's not fun to talk about that shit. Yeah.

That's what this show was. They talked about the wage gap, they talked about video game nonsense, they talked a lot about their parents and people blaming their parents for shit. And that's a good point too, and this is even Sean getting in on the action here, talking about how you shouldn't blame your parents

and Mattis quickly disagrees with that. That's a good point too because that doesn't absolve you of responsibility for doing something about it. If you're able to recognize it, you can blame your parents the whole rest of your life. Sean, that's a touchy one because sometimes people can get abuse to the point where they aren't even able to recognize. Oh, no, totally agreed. If you do though, if you're actually able to take stock, you can just get that little glimmer. That door is open just a little bit.

Okay, then I'd like to give another bit of advice. How funny is that? Sean comes on. Another bit of advice. I know, I know, it's fucking guy. How funny is that? Sean comes out and says, you can't blame your your an adult stop blaming your parents and figure fucking out And man goes whoa whoa whoa. I can still blame my parents

So general you couldn't possibly have any problem, you know, you're an adult and you should not blame your parents for everything You know, you're an adult and you should not blame your parents for everything. I disagree. I did. No! You're not talking about me, obviously, but everybody else, I agree with that. And remember when we were playing that Astarius was blown away by an episode where Maddox said you should think good thoughts as if that was some groundbreaking piece of self-help. This is amazing.

I realized that the listeners to the biggest problem are the same audience as Dr. Phil's. Oh, thanks buddy I really appreciate that you know I got so much email and voice mails and Messages about that episode episode 67 if anyone's interested go back and listen episode 67 We talked about self-defeating thoughts. Yeah, and and and again as someone who doesn't have like Doesn't have like a stake you under a dog in this fight like you should listen to episode was really good Thanks man. Yeah, yeah that that episode I I got so many emails from people saying it really helped them a lot Oh, no, let me let me tell you something real quick about a stereo. I love a stereo That motherfucker he said is a really good episode.

That motherfucker once told me that my book, Man and Better than Women, was such a great book because every sentence was a punchline. Right. And I said, Oh, wow, thank you. That means so much. A couple months later, I went to a book that his, that a stereoist's friend had just released. And I found a stereoist's review of the book on Amazon. And it's, and he said, it's such a great book. Every line is a punchline.

Oh, no. He's a mother fucker. So if he ever says an episode is good, I put a 50, 50 chance on him actually having listened to it. Well, that episode specifically, he didn't realize that positive thoughts will help you change your life. So I think on that one, he actually did listen to it, but that's fucking funny, dude. He has the same compliment for everybody. Every line is a punchline. I was like, you said it was a bit tight, but it felt good about that.

Now, I feel worse than if you had a set-up. That's terrible. It was, Maddox also talked about how he tries to let, did we already play the clip where Maddox talks about how he didn't want to bring his friends down and he had a positive attitude when he was out with friends, he didn't always want to bring them down. That was so fun. He goes, I know that my character is a little salicable and I like to complain about stuff,

but we're not more out my friends, you know, I turn on the charm and I'm a different guy The reason that the biggest problem exists is because I told him flat out I would not listen to his complaints anymore unless we recorded it because I was so tired of hearing him bitch about Every little thing that was going wrong in his video games. He was working out at Thodeck, obviously. He was trying to correct himself. That was very telling that he said, I know it might seem like I'm not a fun person to hang out with, but I'm actually a lot of fun. I've never once set out loud that I'm fun to hang out with.

If you have to say that, you're not. You're not fun. It's not something. That's something you declare, right? Anytime. Yeah, you don't want to call me if you guys are going out. That's not a good idea. It's not going to work out well for you.

I think this is the clip that sums up the show for me. It's only GeekWiz here. Yep. Yeah. It followed me because this episode would have gone down a lot differently. Near the beginning, they're talking about video games a lot. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, which is great. But this is some amazing video game talk from Maddox. It's absolutely incredible. And now they would take that same 150 hours, sell you 80 of it, and then sell you the other

70 of it, broken up into chapters over the next six months. It's such a racket. Of course it's bullshit. Of course it's fucking a racket. You know what? I swore off of EA games. I don't play any EA games like Toronto cards He's always doing this always telling companies. They're not gonna get his dollars anymore

Yeah, you know what EA they had a snowboarding game that I didn't appreciate. I'll never buy a game from them again Oh, no EA is gonna go out of business Metasus by EA games anymore got for bed His transition into a senile old woman is gonna be really easy. It's gonna work out. This is the same conversation they're complaining about the fact that you buy a game and you have to invest more money to get more levels or whatever the fuck gamers talk about. And the Stereo's has one of the weakest arguments.

He feels like he's having a great argument here when he talks about how we have to do this for our soldiers in Iraq. Yeah, I have to understand. This is so pathetic. Why me, Hayes? Why don't you fucking go after EA for causing, for like having this always on stupid bullshit?

There are soldiers fighting for a freedom in a rack in Afghanistan and they can't use their Xboxes and they can't use their PlayStation because they have these games that require some sort of bullshit always on connection. I'm not believing for a second that that's really what Astarios is upset about. It's not for me. It's for those soldiers who are protecting my freedom and I rack right now. It's not it's not for me. It's for those soldiers who are protecting my freedom. And I rack right now. That's what I'm concerned about. The biggest liberal on earth, the guy who's so liberal that he took himself off Twitter because he was being triggered too much. That's there, that's what I mean about being sold something. Even listening to it now, I'm like, uh,

thank you selling me something, dude. I don't think you believe that. I don't think he believes that for a second. I think he was yes, Andy, Maddox, because Maddox has a big problem with these, I don't know if you call him freemium or whatever that term is, where you have to keep investing. It's downloadable content.

Yes. It's this crazy idea that companies establish like a riverable and then they meet the time expectations of the deliverable and then they have some extra material that they need more money to develop on after they release the game. Yeah, it's a weird thing called a reoccurring revenue stream that actually keeps companies in business and helps them grow that matters as a huge problem with. He's pissed off because Konami, instead of putting out

Contra 17 on Super Nintendo, is now on a slot machine. Yeah. Yeah, things change, buddy. I don't know which they had to invest all the time of signing a contract. Right. It's like, do you want to use the R logo? Yeah, yeah, go ahead. That's fine. Yeah, do it. The last thing I want to talk about in this show is the problem that Matt explains in is this virginity stigma. And Matt has a weird relationship with sex. Yeah. Because he grew up in Utah, very conservative place.

And when we talked about how doctor fill was driver on hot rods and playing on football teams all this made up bullshit maddox is the king of made up stories there's no fucking way this is true he talks about how his first girlfriend was a nymphomaniac one of my first girlfriends i ever dated was a nymphomaniac and this isn't this isn't my label that I'm giving her, that's her label, it's her own label. And also it's like, what are those things

where you hear a girl say, oh, I'm a nympho and you're just like, okay, shut up. What, what does that even mean? Oh, she was, man. Like if I ever went over to her house, I would, if I wasn't paying attention for more than like a minute, 30 seconds, I look around, I don't see her, her face is in my junk.

Ugh. Does that make any sense at all? No, is she like a dog? I didn't know where she went. Really? I didn't know where she went. I was like 30 seconds have gone by. Where is she?

Oh, she's talking by dick. Oh, there she is. I know her head is in your junk. Not the very effeminate way to say that. Oh, you know, the next thing, you know, her facial areas in my dingley dong. Okay. Her head is in my junk.

That's such made up fucking nonsense. His first girlfriend was a nimble maniac and he just wanted to go over there and watch a movie and he popcorn and this asshole is trying to suck him off every two seconds. He goes on to explain that he did not lose his virginity to that girl. Oh, I was just going to say because I think I think just listening to him, I think he's describing a Cam girl. I think he considers his first girlfriend. He was a pay pig for a Cam girl who described herself as a nymphomaniac so she could justify hooring herself online. Like that's what I got out of that's what I would try to

get at if I was in that episode. This makes a lot of sense because yeah he tries to explain why he didn't have sex with remember he's a teenager this is his girlfriend and she wants to have sex in in my world in my experience that turns into sex 100% of the time. I'm not. Every fucking time. Like, why are you dating a girl if you're not trying to have sex with her? What is your goal here? Are you gay? What's the goal? So this is what he explains why they never had sex. But because I was in this conservative environment, I didn't quite know what to do with that. And it was kind of a source of stress in the relationship. And you know, it was one of those things where I was always

told to wait for the right woman. And that's what you should do. And those are, you know, those are the values, the conservative values that they give you. You should wait to the right woman. One man, one one, that's it. blah blah blah blah. Just write her a letter out, that demand to know where she lives. Write her a letter on, that's it blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah I obeyed those orders when I was 16 years old with my slutty girlfriend who wanted to fuck. That's never been a true story ever in the history of the world. That's not true. There's no way that that happened.

No. I would go over to her place and if I wasn't paying attention, her head would be in my junk, but I was in a conservative environment and I didn't know what to do with that. That's crazy. And Esterios, if he had his wits about him,

I would have hoped would have stopped him and said, wait, what? And remember how mad is he's always talking about how high school sex is sloppy and awful? He has such a weird take on that, yeah. All right, so this could have been a Cam girl. Or is it possible that like you said, he didn't know how to have sex when he was in high school

and that's what he talks about when he's when he's saying it's sloppy and it's not good he wasn't able to he he probably was one of these guys who blew it in his pants before anything even happened i was like oh i gotta go i gotta go oh street street lights are on street lights are on gonna go we're gonna go is that my mom paging me? Oh, I'm gonna go. That's possible. Because it doesn't make any sudden, that story doesn't add up in any way. It is weird. I want to know more.

I'm sad that I'll never get to know more. I should have listened to this at the time, so I could have busted his balls on 78. You should. Wow. I don't think that would happen because you had that Aaron Tillman woman come in. The relationship expert to tell you all about how to create your Tinder profile.

Have you ever done her show? Did she have, I assume she has a show. I have not done her show now. I feel like we covered her pretty well. Yeah, you're right. What are we talking about the biggest problem? She's insufferable. She's got that dolphin laugh.

I'm throwing net on her. So I'm glad that you listened back to this and that you had to hear what happened in your absence. I feel like I've tortured you along with the rest of the audience. We owed this to you. We all had to listen to what you did to. This was a bait and switch episode that we all fell for because we love Astarius. And now you've had to go through it.

I'm sorry for everybody who listened to it. I'm sorry for making you re-listen to it again. I knew not listening to it was the right thing to do. For me personally, I was turning my ear in on myself and that's what I was hearing. I'm glad that I waited, I'm glad that I waited this song so that it was meaningful to me and that I could work, I could work out my feelings about the episode with a professional podcast reviewer. Did you, did you write down in your journal how this episode made you feel? Yeah, I just scribbled up.

I'm just wondering where I scratch all the eyes out of every picture. I have this Christian coloring book and I scratch the arm. Do you have the Astero's puppet with you right now? Yeah, I think it's fucking it's terrible. I love it. It makes me so happy. Let me put it on all right. Yeah Can you do the oh my god? That's bigger than I thought I was can you do the huge? It's a puppet

Can you do the voice of the hysteria's puppet? I'll fry okay? Okay, all right, so I'm gonna be maddox, okay? Okay, I can't do it as good as the puppets Okay, it's pretty good so far. They're real art Oh, Stereo's is an art. This is amazing. Is that in? Ha ha ha holy shit This is a joke, Jake It's coming to life. This is great. Okay, so I'm gonna be mad at you, ready? Uh-huh. Uh, uh, Asterios, you don't understand that the gender wage gap is not actually real.

It's just a perceived wage gap and you're- you're not understanding the statistics behind it. Uh, well, it actually- it speaks to a higher truth. And as a comedian, it's our job to speak to higher truths at all times. And I'm like, what is it? Now, I'll do it like Admiral Akbar. See, I can't do it. I can't do as serious. No, that was perfect.

I can tell that you listen to that episode. Those were almost verbatim what he was saying in that episode. Was it the general age gets speaks to a higher truth about women in the workplace? I like, I like this new version of Asterios who's drunk in introspective. Like he's very concerned about the problems in the world and not just trying to be a hilarious clown. I like that version of the puppet.

I'm a, I work to promote the people of Winning. That's awesome. Well, thanks for doing that for me. I'll probably cut all of this out and post, but thanks for doing that for me. I'm not good at it. I love Muppets. I can't. I love Muppets so much that I can't do them. When you the first time that you brought that puppet on, your reaction to it was so genuine, you could not stop laughing. No, no. It was your favorite thing you'd ever seen. I was correct. I could watch it that. I just want to talk to him. Right. You think he's there. He's's like I'm gonna hire a hucker to be him and hide and I don't want to see her face get down there I'm just talking to the puppet careful though because if you don't know where she gets for 30 seconds

In my junk The way he talks you just know this shit never happened. All right, I want to do a brand new segment. Lorenzo sent in a clip and it gave me an idea because we have fans out there listening to lots of different podcasts. And it's hard for us to cover all of the suggestions that come in, but there are certain things that happen on a podcast that I would love to play and talk about. So I want us to do a new thing where we get like the podcast fail of the week. Maybe that's not the right name for it.

I don't know. I'm still working it out. But with all these podcasts that are going on, there's going to be something that's crazy there like holy shit. This is the work curls's gonna hate this. And it just so happens that Lorenzo sent me in, Gavin McGuinness's show, Get Off My Wann.

This is episode 113, and Dick, this is everything that I hate about podcasting. Okay. And I'm not saying, I know you make fun of me for being like this radio guy. I'm not saying it has to have a radio format But Jesus fucking Christ, please do not do this on your podcast. I like this story by the way really yeah

But it's let me just set this up real quick. They're hanging out in a bar in Texas So they're doing like the Opie thing where they're they're podcasting with a recorder at a bar I like this story by the way really Yeah, but it's also funny that you you lost it because so much of those super jokes are based on the context of the time. Yes it is. Which is why I'm suing the SPLC because they're killing the whole concept of context. But uh her brother's you know, is kind of a normie. He's a peasant noob. I get pissed.

But he was, you can still hear me when I talk, right? Yes. So he's an Amsterdam and they get super baked as everyone does when they go to Amsterdam. Like you're used to normal joints. And going there is like smoking kryptonite joints. I don't enjoy it. Joints were as strong as they should be

when I was a teenager in 1985. They should have stopped the technology. The government should have said, stop making this better. Dick, they walk into the bathroom together and start pissing and don't stop. They were together? They were in the bathroom together, pissing.

I thought it was like a naked gun set up In for some reason, but then that was fun. That was not funny at all That's all I can think about was naked god Cuz you you hear the door over here the fly open the only thing you do is the I guess you'd be singing Wagner. I do not like bodily functions on podcasts. I didn't like when Maddox burped. I don't want somebody to break podcasting ground and have diarrhea on the air like some

mic it up. It was it was funny and radio when that shit would slip through because there's no editing feature But because they were hired by a station that professionals. It's very difficult to be an on air personality So if you did that guys, I feel like whoa this guy is going over the top But I'm a podcast to the man right out of podcast you can do it on the fucking one. It's not it's unprosive Yeah, there's seven people listening to your show. Guess what I did I took our shit up my show. Sorry Doug Sorry Doug from who's right he did that was we made fun of it But yeah, it's it's not impressive. You're not breaking new grounds. It's it's gross

I don't want to hear you peeing on the podcast and if you're gonna pee make it a big thick stream like find a toilet not a urinal and load up. Now give me a good 10-15 second piss. I want it I want some foam. Yeah make it happen. Like trickles. What are we talking about here? I don't want to watch porn where the guys got some leather he's working with. I want a big hard cock. All right, I wanted to give that enough room so everyone could grab that clip and ISO. So we could, so we could use that. Dick, uh, before we, we play, uh, the, the teaser, the clip of the show we were reviewing next week, I want to give you a chance to promote the Dick show. Specifically, you have developed a new platform that rivals Patreon. I don't know if you want to promote the DIC show. Specifically, you have developed a new platform that rivals Patreon.

I don't know if you want to promote it. Oh, yeah. So, yeah, sure. It's called new project too with the number two.com. After Sargon got banned, everyone was, no, people didn't want to support Patreon, and they're right too. So, I built a competitor. I decided I got to do this anyway for me. Why why not why not build it so that other people who have been banned from patreon the little guys some artist who just been banned cuz they're more conservative. We all get banned for hate speech all the time like at this point I don't even know how to use the term hate speech cuz I get banned for it every day. It's out of control. I got to tell you the Joe Rogan experience has been on top of this topic lately with the Tim Poole and Sam Harris and Jack Dorsey. And it's fascinating because I don't know what the end game is here with all these companies, de-platforming everyone. You've been kicked off a Twitter multiple times. You got Munky Jones with YouTube

and Sargon with Patriot. It's out of control. We have to have something that you can't get de-platform because of things you say. Yeah, so I got a, you know, I went to the, I said it it's a real business. It's a real thing that I did. I got my own merchant account. I got my own credit card processor. I have my own everything. So if you get kicked off, it is from me. Like it's because the bank or the government told me that I have to do it. It's not because some chick who's like who's pretending to police the world just got a hair up or ask and decided to kick you off the platform. It's me. It's me doing it. And I'll fight to keep you on it. There you go, new project too. That's awesome.

That's awesome. All right. You're on there. Slash. Who am I? A WA, aren't you? No. I don't know.

Nothing I know of. I want somebody set us up. How much money do you owe me? How much do we make over there? Never mind, never mind. I never mind. I didn't say anything. All right.

This is everyone's favorite part of the show also known as This is the part of the show we play a clip from the Podcast we'll be reviewing next week. It gets people really excited about next week's show We'll be reviewing next week. It gets people really excited about next week's show Get some subscribing to whtp. So just shows up right on your app every Sunday It's it that's what we call it teaser deck. You familiar with this term. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, it gets thick It's so teased. I want it. I just all I want to do is I want to shut myself up so I can hear it because people rock hard So here's the clip of the show we're reviewing on next week's pod So here's the clip of the show we're reviewing on Next Week's Pod. Welcome to the podcast that no one asks for.

The one where your favorite characters from your favorite fandoms get wet, wild, and weird. Where erotic fanfiction helps pop culture, pop a boner, and we all get to laugh about it. I'm Alila Fever, I'm Lindsay Rush, I'm Danny Chapman, and this is Spangasm. The following podcast is rated H for horny. It contains adult themes, sexually explicit content, strong language, and characters we don't own. Welcome to Phan Gasm.

I'm Lindsay. I'm Ali. I'm Danny. Guys, we're doing it. We're back for episode one, season nine. We thought it would never come. Be on dada-da-da-da-da-da. Yeah, we had doing it. We're back for episode one season nine. We thought it would never come Be on get the deal. Yeah, we had quite the teas. I feel like everybody's Gotten blue ball and now we get sweet sweet release of season nine. Oh, yeah

It's been pent up a lot of kind of energy. Let's use faceman a little gross Once you get an atomic cold gets gross. No, you know what? We're working our way back into the sex talk guys There we go. Yeah, we're a little rusty right now. Yeah. This is a show called Fangasm. It came in from Joe Mouth who suggested this. I went and started listening to as much as you just heard. And I knew immediately that this would be some pretty good

fodder. We're going to listen to an episode called The Office Tungher M mufflin. Oh, God, I threw up out of every orifice in my body halfway through that. That's disgusting. Are they joking? Are they seriously erotic? It's like one of these one of these Dicti shows. We listen to call her daddy, which is a huge show on bar stool. It's always in the top 15 on iTunes. And it's just these two horrors talking about swallowing loads. And I'm pretty sure this show is of the same vein. It's, oh, I shouldn't have said that. I was, that was not what I meant. It's

not going to be good. It's not going to be fun to listen listen to and I feel bad for my co-host next week Because they're learning about that right now. They're learning that's what they have to listen to the other thing We're gonna do next week that I'm so excited about this just came in right before we started this show last week I had Doug from whose right and my buddy Krojan Reviewed a show called chewed gum that started started this guy, Shamus McHillian. And Dick, this was great. Shamus was promoting his stand-up comedy. Because you guys gotta come see me if you're in the Northern Indiana

or Southern Illinois area. I'm gonna be doing stand-up comedy. But it wasn't like a stand-up show. He was doing an open mic. Okay. It goes come see me February 22nd. I'm doing an open mic. And I was like, oh my god. I want I would drive the 12

hours to see this because this is going to be amazing. Low and behold, somebody recorded it and sent it to us. We have she was making it open like that. I've watched the first minute of it and I want to break down every joke. I cannot fucking away. He's got he's got a little index cards. I cannot fucking away. He's got he's got little index cards It's so good. So that is really the teaser. This is gonna be amazing next week we're gonna break down Shamest McHillian the host of chewed gum and check out his God is no one breaking down bad stand up

his stand up. Oh God is no one breaking down bad stand up because that's a good point. That would be fucking good man. That's a really good point. All right. Well we're gonna be doing it next week. So that's gonna be that's a good thing. That's something we'll be doing. So please join us next week because it might be So we fight out once and for all who are these podcasts sleep well every pony Okay great show good job everybody great job everyone You're not Karrie's Masked. Ah! I can't fucking take it! This dude is fucking court. Oh, well, that's retarded. What, what? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What?? What? What???? What????? What???? I don't know I don't get it makes no sense So I want to play some voicemails that we've been getting in recently before I do that somebody created a

Little audio clip here that they call Carl versus Carl You might be familiar with this concept. Yeah Yeah. Carl versus Carl. Carl, here's you at episode 78 after your guest brings in someone ending the show. There's seven minutes after that. Why did somebody podcast do that? There is a running thing. We're like, all right, I think we're all set here.

And then you look at your player and you've got 12 minutes to go, what do we do? I thought we were done. And here's your thoughts on this. Just 63 episodes later, after you've adopted the technique yourself. Yeah, he's like, I see you next Tuesday. I thought, you're looking at your app. There's an hour and still to go. That's great. Yeah, it is great. Keep up the consistency, Kyle. All right, I've changed my stance on that. That came in from the Bazinga boys who do the officialest big bang podcast.

Oh, wow. They put that together for us. And yes, it's true. We've changed our stance on certain things. I love, well, okay, let me explain why this happens. I used to do the voicemail segment in our show. And some people loved it. Most people bitched about it. They would say, you gotta stop at these voicemails. No one cares. I don't want to hit these voicemails anymore. I even have people on Twitter saying, I'm not listening to your show anymore. Because the voicemail. Because the voicemail segment. Yeah. Which is the dumbest thing ever to podcast. You can stop it whenever you want. I wasn't doing a front like Maddox. I just plague them later on in the show So I decided okay, all right. Well, we'll figure this out guys

I'll I'll make a see my the show is ended we've moved on and then lo and behold Hey, there's voice about to be a one that wasn't to it you can if not no skin off my back doesn't matter Yeah, that's really the reason for it That's what I thought to be cut and I think I'm gonna even start something different now because I've had people tell me that the podcast is too long. And I thought, well, what do you want an hour versus three hours? Why don't you just stop listening at one. But now I think about it like maybe they see it as a book, right? They have to get to the end. Yeah, you have to, if you're in, if you're in for a penny, you're in for a pound, you can't just bail out.

You've got to listen to the whole thing. So now I'm gonna, at one hour, I'm just gonna say, that's it and that's the show. And then I'm gonna have two and a half hours of post-show material. I want that idea. In fact, if you don't mind me stealing that idea, I think on our next episode,

I might play one clip from a podcast but all right, that was fun. See you guys later. I'm gonna do another two hours. Every 10 minutes you guys say, all right, and that's the show. Yeah, but over that perfect length is, whatever a TED talk length is. All right, everybody in, that's the show. Otherwise, people go insane. But I'm gonna play the whole outro music and do the whole side off and everything every 17 minutes. So if you want to throw this into a YouTube clip, no problem. You can

have at it. The easy enough. I think you have to do. I went through the same thing. I think why does everyone keep telling me that shows too long? Just stop listening when you're done. At any point, you just stop listening. All right, here's a voicemail from one of our fans down under. Hey, it's Vaughan again. Just have a message for Dick if he actually showed up this week. He did? Hey, Dick, you may be sitting there at this point in the show just realizing that maybe, maybe this feels a bit familiar. The thing is, Carl is totally ripped your bit of ending the show and then adding on a 15 extra minutes of voicemail. Yeah, so it's too far for $400 million and I'll see your road wage down on the

ad-dirty dog. Oh nice. Yeah, so you got a fan. So Dick, you're taking the show on the road to Australia. Yeah, we're going to Melbourne and Melbourne and Sydney. That's awesome. It is going to be fucking great. I got a huge theater because once in a lifetime I don't want to turn anybody away, but we'll see. What are you doing that? April April 12th for Mel Borney and 420 for Sydney. That's that's awesome, man Congrats. I hope it goes well. Thank you. This is another voicemail. This is that boomer guy that everybody loves. And last week we talked about the Rod and Burgundy podcast because it is God awful.

Did you know he had a podcast? Yeah, I got about 10,000 ads for it on my phone so I know it's terrible. Like I don't know how that was ads snuck through and my phone was telling me about it. I'm like, oh fuck you. Right. They put so much money behind that. It's number one. It became number one as soon as it came out. It's unlistenable.

And Boomer guy has his own take on Will Farrell. Hey Carl, when the fuck has Will Farrell ever been fucking funny? I watched this, uh, a for now shit that's all fucking like boomer fucking dumb shit that doesn't make any sense to just repeat the joke over and fucking over you know who the fuck does that who the fuck he's on doing the same shit over and over you know who does that

much of fucking artist agree part did that's who so fuck will fail fuck is little on funny ashtick and fuck that mollie ringwall or whatever fuck her name is Fat ugly con with with the fucking weird ass hair that he does that little cheerleading skit with Serial Terry. He's on funny at fuck all of the SNL people are a very different funny man If you think they're funny you prove my point that you're some fucking boomer, fuck that stuck in a hospice. Anyways, keep up the great show.

Bag it. I love you. Uh, Boomer guy. I, I, I've got a lot of boys, Melis from Boomer guy. I just want to tell him you're overthinking it, buddy. You, you're definitely overthinking it. We have another boys, Mel collar who is killing it this week He called us about six times in a row from between 5 a.m. to 6 a.m

I don't know what time zone he's in but very very drunk and this was the first voice male that he said dead. This is but whole weeb Hey guys, this is but whole weeb. I webe or about two numbers uh... kind of direct i'm assuming between big show and wtp uh... i'm probably calling to the right one uh... anyways um... chan and dick uh... here's what makes me rage uh... stoplight after midnight i word and an hour and forty fucking minutes away from where I live.

And at one in the fucking morning when I get off, there is no reason that the first stoplight I see should take a minute and 40 seconds. I told you to go with that. It's fucking things, Cudden. Yeah. And it makes things worse. There is a fucking ginormous sign that actually

goes on and counts it down. And if there is, that's frustrating. Anyway, I can turn left. I would do it, but there's a fucking camera on the stop light. That should make me rage. And also, as the but whole weave, as I do, I talk a lot about eating ass and watching anime. And it affects WHEP, if I voicemail them to be getting a very funny not saying podcast Superchat ice in and I'll be sending that on Twitter. So thanks Sean and Dick Going called the wrong number. Well, I think you do what he was doing, but that was a good bet That was a good bet. I like that. I know what stuff right calls. So hey, Sean and deck. I don't stop right, Kyle. So hey, shout out to dick. I don't I don't really gotta do. It's it's a game. He's trying to make a left dude. You make a right, right? Yeah, I'm in a right like it's you race against the clock if you if you're not just gonna run the red You get to play a fun little game of U-turns every day

That's a gift. That's a good point. Look look at you being a self-help. Yeah, it's not that you're That's my that's my that is it is myself help like that's the difference between doctor Phil's woman's self-help. Yeah, that's how that's your problem. That's my that's my that is it is my self-help like That's the difference between Dr. Phil's woman's self-help and my show for men's self-help is well all you got to do is just you just make you turns man Yeah, let's be proactive about this. I don't understand for the wife of me Why all whites don't go to blinking yellow blinking red at a certain point at night and I think it's because they want to control the population. They just they love the fact you're seeing there for no fucking reason for a minute 40 waiting for that fucking light to change. There's no traffic. There's nobody out. So maybe when AOC rebuilds all the buildings, you'll put in blinking lights everywhere. Maybe

that's the green no deal. Maybe that is. I can't get behind that. As long as it's wind powered because I don't know what what's controlling these lights. Yeah, you know what? Make them make the lights wind power make them solar powered. That's perfect. So I'm gonna turn off at night. Perfect. So this is what what what we was reading to at the end of that is he calls into this show. I guess it's called the tomorrow show. It's it's on this guy Sam Roberts network and Sam Roberts is a guy who does a morning show on Series XM used to be on open Anthony. We covered his show.

This but we guys not a fan. So he calls into people shows. No, he doesn't call and I let me, let me, let me back up. You know where you can pay money to chat to a show. Yeah. Yeah, whatever the fuck that's called. I'm obviously a boomer. I don't know. So he pays money to get them to say that not Sam sucks and,

and talk about anime. Landon, making James in the chat says for $5. Can I ask you all individually your favorite anime? And also, not a fan of the worst podcasts I've ever heard. Watch Hinti? Yeah. Awesome. So these shows are out there.

And I think Manix is one of them that they'll just accept money from anybody and read whenever the fuck they write for $5. That's pathetic. Yeah, that's super chats, man. Oh great. Great. Thank you. That's pathetic. This is Bud Holy, I mentioned he called it like six times.

I just have one more thing that I want to play from him. You can hear him pass out at the end of this call. It's pretty amazing. Hey guys, this is Bud Holy begin. Holy shit. drunk is ever. Another thing that I wanted to say other than shooting on the not saying podcast for you guys is, once that makes me a rage is people who don't admit that they eat a half because like I said, as the butthole we eat, it's in my criteria to call it.

It's in this criteria. Tell people that if they do eat ass, like I think Dick Masterson does. No! Fucking admit it. And also admit a dick. Ask what their favorite anime is. That's important. And I guess sh sitting on podcast is

fucking grunt sitting on podcast is even funnier but uh... asking people if they eat at and watching in the mail to be the point here so uh... which is even funny at the w uh... fuck fan cockbirds uh... for the rest of time and uh... uh... for the rest of the time and

Did he did you hear that yeah, he passed out I think he passed right the fuck out I'm almost glad I'm banned on Twitter again so that guy can stop asking me if I eat ass Well, he said don't even deny that you do eat ass. He knows for a fact that you did. Yeah, he knows already My favorite anime I think is the is the real Ghostbusters. Right. Remember that show? Yes. That was my favorite. Amazing. Amazing anime. Yeah. Top. It's easily top three. I almost clipped that where asteris was nerding out on whoever wrote that show. What are the greatest sci-fi areas of our time? Was writing the real Ghostbusters cartoon? I was like, uh, Stereos, come on. I got that.

Come, Jack. Come, Jack. They play baseball and hell. And one of the stuff, that's not the greatest. I five of our time. One of the best of our time, Jack. I mean, I guess maybe our time, maybe, I don't know. As a mob is not our time.

We didn't have Elron Hubbard in our time. So yeah, you're right. We didn't have Elron Huppert in our time So yeah, you're right. We didn't have all the best sci-fi writers. Yeah, it's possible Uh, here's another voicemail that came in this whole thing where I was talking about shooting at work on your show Is still going on? It's still going on deck Hey Carl and whoever the fuck if uh John love flat women. I love but I love small tips, but you don't have to first off fuck you Carl I got IBS I got hemorrhoids I got colon cancer who fucking knows I should at work Top top top I should at work is like four times I'll touch my phone because that fucking the dirtiest thing in the world

You wipe your ass and then you touch your phone because that fucking, the dirtiest thing in the world, you wipe your ass and then you touch your phone, what the fuck are you doing? I didn't say anything about touching phones. I'm a... You wipe your ass, you little five-car. Yeah, that's good point. Yeah, what if you like, I honestly check your phone, wiping,

checking, wiping, you, yd, two guys, American as fuck. Well, not really, they're sort of Liberal cut, but whatever they've been doing this shit for like 13 years. They got a good Patreon Yeah, see you guys. I'm sure that's a great suggestion, but instead we're doing fan-gasm Sorry age age for horny I've never I've never heard anyone I want to imagine having sex use the word horny. Now it's not it's not fun. This voicemail came in at the exact time we started recording. I haven't even listened to it yet but what the fuck? It's short.

Hey just calling to tell Boomer got to shut the fuck up and I love him. Love you too, Carl. Just find a tell you guys to keep up the good work. Really loved hearing it and yeah just have a good day. Thanks. Oh weird. No that's nice. He goes I want to tell Boomer guy shut the fuck up and I love him. All right. You know what that reminded me though I forgot to go to our reviews real quick. Oh, yeah, yeah We just read a couple reviews so sure Recently we had one that came in that said funny. This is from February 22nd So yesterday

Shows always been funny, but they do make fun of the mentally gifted a little hard sometimes But they do make fun of the mentally gifted a little hard sometimes Shoot gum was an hour of laughing at the short bus and I just want to say this guy Shamest McKillian I don't think is mentally had to get I think he's just really bad at life So I just want to yeah, I just want to throw that out there Let's see. I don't know. I mean who's making fun of who now Who now? You're telling it got, you're guessing that a guy's retarded? Mm. Yeah, I see what he's doing there. This is from February 18th.

It just says, unprocessed calcium. I'm not sure what that means. This one says, awful from dukey shoes. A boomer and his revolving door of no talent, wash up co-hosts, critique creators with the actual ability to make something original. Sad. That's a five-star review.

Creators. So you tell people to give you a five-star review and then talk shit about you in the comments? Correct. Okay. So that's very confusing. It's very confusing to people who come to the show and they're like, oh, these people like the show.

Oh, wait, no, they don't. They think this guy sucks. So I always enjoy that. But then this person got it back. Aswards. This is from February 17th from A Barber. It says, most fun podcast. Found you guys from the Anthony Kumya show

I've been listening ever since. Thank you for tearing into those SJW's last podcasts on the left. Next to OPI Radio episode, it is one of my favorites. Thank you. You should rip another one again. And that is a one star review. I like, I think you did that backwards. Dude, I appreciate the praise, but you did that, Rog. You did it, Ron. Oh, that damn it.

Here's one. Boring and parasitic. God awful and uninteresting commentary. Listen to a few episodes. Try to give it a chance. And once they won after the incredibly hilarious trio at last podcast on the left, it was the last straw. They are bullies, homophobes, and frankly immature. hilarious trio and last podcast on the left. It was the last straw.

They are bullies, homophobes, and frankly immature. This is just a sad attempt of grabbing scraps of attention like parasites off the industry. What's great about this? The industry and shitty podcasts. Right. In Losers' Departments. Yeah.

OK. This is a one-star review, and this guy says, I listen to a few episodes to give him a chance. No, you fucking didn't. You're a fan of last podcast on the left. You're but hurt because we made fun of the show you like. And you want to hear, like, by the way, I listen to their whole back catalog and these guys are just bullies.

You obviously don't get it. You're not, you're not understanding what we're doing here. But I appreciate you participating See I think everything else on here you've talked about Offensive came in on February 13th. I was highly offended at the rape jokes in the latest episode that was a one-star review Rape jokes. I don't think we have had no that was a rape. I don't think we've had any rape jokes I did I did write a song

rape jokes rape jokes my friend so if saying rape jokes is a rape joke, then perhaps we are a rape joke. Do you think that they even know the original of that song? That's a good point. I don't think so. You don't even notice when they started playing just now is when people send songs into your show, which are brilliant, you get the best creators. I get great ones.

Yeah, writing these parody songs, they're phenomenal. Nobody knows that they need to cut down the intro part. Yeah. Just get to the jokes, it's a parody song. Like weirdo Yanke make doesn't play the entire fucking yes intro. He just gets right to the parody part of the song. And I think he even shot a point of that house. Like guys, I don't want to sit through the instrumentation on this.

I just did the same thing. I hit the whole pointed that out. It's like, guys, I don't want to sit through the instrumentation on this. I just did the same thing. I hit the whole fucking intro plan. I could have just gone through that, that progression one time. And it would have been fine. I guess at the point where I wonder if it's going to be the actual song. Right. Oh, we just, I thought it was a joke. I'm going to admit, is this the song?

Are we just listening to living out of prayer? What's, what's going on right now? Because that's fine, but I just, I'm not sure. Yeah. All right. That's all, that's all I got for us See this is the part this is the hard part dick about doing what you do Where you end the show and then you come back here some voicemails now. There's just no way out There's no normal way out of this. I just fizzle out. I just feel like yeah, all right

Well, that was that but I'm usually very chunked by that time. And Sean has to piss almost every time. I don't know why he's got to jump up to piss every time. But I always just, I like to think about the show like life. It hits that, you know, retire. I'm like, okay, the show's over. And then you just kind of limp along and then die. Well, it's when you leave the party,

but you don't want to say goodbye to everyone. Yeah. You're kind of like walking over to a door, you're like, I don't know. Let's just cruise out of here. I don't think anyone's going to give a shit if we just...