Who Are These Podcasts? - Ep155 - Bertcast

Episode Date: May 26, 2019

Every single stand-up comedian has a podcast. Every single one. I've listened to most of them. It turns out, the ability to write and perform jokes in front of an audience does not translate to podcasting in any single way.  This week Cros joins the show to prove Bert Kreischer is terrible at podcasting. We also tackle Opie's float tank adventure, No Agenda making fun of Opie, Stuttering John's Howard Stern exclusive, and multiple cringes. Happy Memorial Day, kisses. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Cous, Couseru, Couseru, Slapperoonie. I took a little nappy poo. Carl has one of my favorite podcasts ever. Who are these podcasts, run by a guy called Carl? Who are these podcasts? It's a podcast review. I was on Who Are These Podcasts yesterday. It's a great show. Have you ever listened to it? I have not. Who are these podcasts? They do a show about show. I think it's a very interesting podcast to listen to. And just mercilessly rips on people.

Some of it is quite hilarious. It's hilarious. The show is hilarious. It's show time. I'm talking the Gavin from Buffalo. I'm your host, Carl. With me this week is Fade Favorite Croche. Hello, hello. Welcome back to the show, Croche. Hey, thanks for having me.

Come on to whoarethese.com to get our email address, voice mail number, link to our subreddit, link to our merchandise, link to our paypal. We also encourage our listeners to give us a five star review and iTunes. And then shit all over us in the comments section. We're approaching 500 one star reviews. Grown that is sweet. We should have a celebration like we did for our 100th episode. I think it's warranted.

When we hit that mark. Where we reach out to the people who gave us the one star reviews. Oh, that's a good idea. There you go. I like it. Today, we're reviewing a podcast called Burtcast. This was a suggestion from Max. Crojna, I both listened to the show separately. We have not discussed it with each other beforehand.

Let's get into it. This is a podcast hosted by a comedian known as Bert Kreischer. Yeah. Were you familiar with the show before we listened to this? I'd heard of the show. I'd never heard of Bert and I'd never listened to a minute of the show. Okay. I'm pretty much in the same boat as you.

But it's a big show. It's all we do anymore, it's these big shows. Yeah. And a lot of fans, and they know it. And it's one of those shows that I'll just say off the bat, overall I enjoyed, it's not terrible, but it's a little too comfortable with itself. Yeah.

We listen to this episode number 340 where they talked to this guy Jordan Harbinger, and he was an interesting guy. I don't know, did you listen to any other podcast, any other episodes? No, and I normally try to, but this was clocked in at three hours, getting through this was a bit of a slog. Understood. I'll just say this, because most of my clips are from this episode. But the other thing he does, and he didn't do it on this one, is he starts off every episode with his wife, Leanne,

and him just kind of ramble about tour dates and then do livery. Yeah. And it's a 20 to 25 minutes before it even gets going. Yeah, this show had a preamble. It was seven minutes 45 seconds of ads. Yeah, and then it was with the preamble was a after 20 minutes when the actual show started. So I want to start off talking about births ability to interview people or lack their obni. I know you picked up on this because I saw some of the titles of the clips

that you sent over but let me set this up and then feel free to jump in wherever you want. Yeah. He's got this guy Jordan Harbinger on there and he's talking about how I've been wanting to get you on the show because I heard you on J-Mor. I heard you with Adam Krola and Dr. Drew. Yeah. And I'm excited to get you on the show. I heard you on those shows. And he says something here that when I first heard I was like, well that can't be true. He's talking about the interviewing skills in Adam Krola. They've heard you a bunch of times

and I was like, I'm not equipped to interview you in the way that say Jay was or Adam was. Adam Krola is the worst interviewer in the history. There's no reason for guests to even be on a show. He just talks past them. So listen, Karla, here you're in a bank. Can you tell me about that? But first, I want to tell a really long story about my childhood.

Fuck you, dad. God damn it. I'm sorry. Who are you again? Why are you in my studio? Hey, Karla, thanks for coming in. Do you want to watch me race by car? I have footage over. We can watch me. Look at how fast I'm going around this turn right here. Well, thanks for coming in.

Yeah. Karla, be good watch. Thanks for being a guest to my show. Did you ever hear I got an argument with Gavin Newsom? Let me play it for you, because my audience is definitely not sick of hearing that shit. So this is him setting up the fact that he's not gonna do a good job interviewing. And I'm like,

Bert, give yourself some credit. You have to be better than Andrew Carolla. Nope, nope. Here we go, starting off with terrible interviewing skills, part one. Yeah, that's super quick. All right interviewing skills, part one. Yeah. That's super quick. Tell me more shit.

Sure. I need a prompt. I'm never good at this whole, like, write a paper about anything you want. That was never my bag. Tell me more about, like, I want to know about, so this is very early on in the two and a half hour long conversation.

And he's already out of question. He has no questions at all. Tell me more shit. Yeah. Could you imagine if we had somebody over here, all right, so talk to me about something. Yeah. Hey, entertain me.

Can you tell me about something? That's not a podcast. And then my number 18 is a general question, but with specifics. Okay. There's a, I did a three hour, almost more than four, yeah, four hours three part series on this on Negotiation would look down in one minute one minute. Yeah

And I know he's kind of joking there, but yeah The guest brings up negotiations. He says, oh tell me about that and the guest is while I teach a fucking college level class on Then the guys like well, just give me one minute, you know You just sum it up for us real quick. And then even later on, and I had a ton of these that I just left on the cardigan floor because there's just so many of them. But number 19 is another great question. But um, but give me a, give me some, give me some lessons, give me some tips, give me some

life lessons. Sure. So give me, give me Jordan 101. Yeah, that's a rough matter. And that happens again and again. Well, hold on, before you get out of yourself, I have these drafts because I found this to be fascinating. Yeah, that's a rough matter. And that happens again and again. Well, hold on, before you get ahead of yourself, I have these drafts because I found this to be fascinating. Yeah, absolutely, absolutely.

That this guest hangs in there and you know he's uncomfortable for most of this interview, for a number of reasons. But first off, listen to these types of questions. I can walk me through some people you've had on that you've, that you, so he's talking about how this guy hosts a podcast. Yeah. And this guy's an interesting person who's also interested in any interviews people well

and gets a good information out of them and birds the opposite. I think that's right. Walk me through some people you've had on that you've, that you've interviewed and you've learned something from or like, whittle it down like like if you could sure like Say give me someone and then like this is what I learned here. This is what we talked about you Sure. Yeah, so what Bert is saying is tell me what question I should be asking you and then answer that question

Yeah, he's asking the guest to do his job for him And I'm sure this guy would be interesting if he just put him in a room and said talk about negotiation Yeah, and spent two and a half hours, but Bert does such a shit job of it They never get around to talk about anything of substance. This is one of my favorite clips from the show where He asked a question that is horrendous, and it's obvious to all that's interesting one of the things you got going on What are the fingers and pies What other tell me some shit that's going on in the in the fucking in the tech sector that I don't know about where we should be blowing the fuck up Oh, man

Good question. Let's see. It's not a good question. That's who he's not a good question Tell me some things about the tech sector. That's a great question, Burr. Let's get into it. Yeah fucking idiot. It's uncomfortable. It really is. No, so at one point he brings up I had this author on and they start talking about this book This was like kind of my summary of it. This is a little bit of a longer clip. I apologize, but but hang in there This is my number nine. All right And now I think that's well well, that fucking don't ever listen to fucking Dr. Burr.

Fucking half of his fucking concepts. He's replying to a bunch of unread texts. I'm just reading texts going not replying to that. I'm so sorry. This is why my podcast sucks. This is why yours is better. Is that I'm sitting there going, what's the name of that book? I'm trying to buy it on audio. Never split the differences. The name of the book. So you bet you've been sitting across the table at a restaurant with someone who's buried on their phone and they're pretending to listen

to you and have a conversation, but they don't know what the fuck is going on. And there's just imagine that being a podcast. Imagine putting that out there for people to see, like I have this interesting guy, who interviews authors, and I asked him about an author, and then you can just listen to me stare at my phone for 30 seconds?

I had that same clip. Yeah. Because the guest on the show has to fill the dead air. Yes. At one point, he feels so uncomfortable. This is a podcast, he says, so Bert's looking at his phone right now. Yep, just you know.

Yeah, yeah. You give me some commentary on why there's just nothing happening. Yeah. And that's something that you could probably tighten up and post a little bit, right? I mean, I don't want to sound like a broken record over here. Yeah, yeah. But that's incredible. This guy's staring and I have a bunch of clips with this guy just getting distracted

by his phone. But let me just real quick finish up my My bit here on the terrible Skills that he has for interviewing just a couple more of these and Remember that this started off early out of the interview and it just keeps going yeah over two hours. Yes What's give give me a tip? What we'll wrap this up soon. I feel like I've had you for two hours and 15 minutes. But give me some lessons, give me some tips. Give me some life lessons.

Sure. Okay, so give me some lessons so the guys like, all right, and he comes up with something. And Bert loves it, but it's not good enough. That is genius. That is genius. That is a perfect one. Give me another one.

Y'all, that was so good, more. Tell me more. Give me another, give me another one. That is genius. That is a perfect one. Give me another one. Ha ha ha. Yacht! That was so good. More. Tell me more. Give me another. Give me another one. I love this. He just kept going. That's so great. I hit all those. Yeah. It was just nonstop. Okay, here's the last one. He's still not done yet. He hasn't gotten enough out of this guy. Keep going. Give me one more. Give me one more. Oh man. Give me one more. We'll wrap it up. Sure. I thought you said that 20 minutes ago. Yeah. This poor guy is going, oh my god, I've written books, I've done TED talks.

I mean, what the fuck do you want from me? Can you do a little bit of research that we can talk about a specific subject? Yeah. Instead of just, give me a life hack. Give me a random life hack. And let's explore that. I think I was like, all right, you know, on social media, don't like the person's post send him a text.

That's amazing. That's an amazing life hack, right? They're like, is that it? I don't know. Yeah. All right, I'm done with him being a terrible interviewer, and I wanna talk about how he's a terrible podcaster. Crush.

Yeah. What do you got for everybody? Well, okay, can I, let's zoom out for just a minute. So, this podcast is three hours. Yup. And I get into it and there's some really annoying shit right off the bat, but then it settles into this vibe and the first hour I barely had any clips.

And it was kind of like general self-improvement stuff and it was kind of boring and kind of not funny, but it wasn't great, it wasn't terrible. I don't know, it just was. And then things took a turn for me. And like I wrote down in my notes a downward spiral of birth. So all these clips that I have,

I had put in the categories. And the categories I have are, Bert is crazy, Bert is boring, Bert is annoying, Bert sucks at reading ads and Bert sucks at interviewing people. Okay. So, I mean, all of the mad.

That covers it. Yeah, all of the mad, it was a great show. Okay, yeah, I with ya. Where do you want to start first? Bert sucks at reading ads. Yeah, let's do that. All right. What do you got? I don't here's number 15. This is part of the almost eight minutes of ads right in a row at the top of the show All right, we should probably do some promo reads this podcast is brought to you by one of my favorite apps to use on the road open fit Open fit is

Bringing something new that makes it even easier to never miss a workout session. I mean, he can't even read the shit. He clearly doesn't know anything or believe in the product. I don't know why there's eight minutes of it up front and I really don't get it, especially podcasts where it's so easy to skip past it, you know what I mean? Here's what I'm confused about. With OpenFit.

Who the fucking OpenFit is looking at Bert Christchurch and saying we have a workout app We got to get this guy to be our spokesperson Yeah, and Bert Christchurch pretending he knows what a workout is and is talking about how he loves this product He's a fat fuck. Yeah, there's no it's that there's no connection there. This is a make-up he says Yeah, only then and it just drones on and on and on and on and on and on and on. And this is him, the next ad after open fit. Mm-hmm. He's trying to spell out the URL and you think he's terrible at spelling.

He's reading the letters. Zippercutter.com slash broadcast. That's zippercutter.com slash broadcast ZIP REC RUITER. dot com slash, burcast z ip r e c r u i t e r dot com slash b e r t c a s t z recruiter a smarter way to hire you would think I understand if you're spelling it in your head I'm not good at spelling out loud yeah he's reading a piece of paper and he's getting fumbled up on it yeah yeah yeah and I have a much harder time understanding spelling zippercrooter.com than just saying it.

Yeah, it's not a hard thing to spell. And it's an ad. Go back and hit it again, dude. What are we doing here? And so then we get, we're two hours into the show and there's another four fucking minutes, dude. My number 16 just comes out of nowhere. Taking advantage of you and they want you to sit there

and take it. Mid-roll reads. Mid-roll reads. What are they? These are mid-roll reads. Yes. And I mean God bless the guy. I mean, you know, I don't begrudge you to make it 11

and monetizing your podcast, but good. Lord, that's of Noxious. And then if you look at the show description, like the show notes, it is 19 advertisers, I'll just in a row He's making a lot of money on this podcast. God bless him. Oh, yeah, good for you, dude I mean congrats, but holy shit. That's a vicious in the mid-roll. He hasn't add for a product called cheers. Do you remember this? vaguely Cheers is a supplement you take after done drinking for the night. Okay. Yeah

That's all right. Yeah, you feel better in the morning. Sure. They have a money back guarantee. Listen to how fucking arbitrary this is. Take four to two capsules after your last alcoholic beverage before you go to bed. And if you don't wake up feeling at least 50% better the next day, you get your money back.

Well, so let me get this straight. I take four to two pills after my my last drink, how many drinks? Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. You have as many drinks as you want, take four to two pills, and then you have to wake up at least feeling 50% better than what?

That's 50% better than you would have felt, 50% better than when you went to sleep, 50% better than what? You get your money back? How do you prove that? Man, that's a good question. That's the big, any fucking sense to me. Can you hit him with like, dude, I was only a 38% so can I give a refund?

You were a 38% we told you to take 4 to 2 and you took 3 to half. Fight print man, always mention it. Yeah, you're not getting your fucking money back. Well I mean at least you do get 10% off your first order by using bird cast promo code. So it's all good. Money well spent. Let's talk about the fact that Bertson Idiot was that one of the categories you had? I can't remember.

Yeah, it was mixed in with the crazy and boring part. Oh, okay. This is he's talking about free speech for a second. And I have to play this little rant right here and then explain why it's dumb in case it's not that obvious. Because my thing is I support free speech across the board, across the fucking board. I applaud when people, when every bit of free speech, every bit of free speech, and even the shit I don't like, the shit I don't like, I don't fucking, I won't, I won't try to silence you.

That's fascinating, please go on. Do you know what the definition of free speech is, Crows? I, I have a feeling you do. It's all speech! That's the fucking point! He's like, you know, I'm only different with my free speech. I support even speech that I don't like. That's the fucking definition of free speech! There's no such thing! I like free speech! but, but, you know, there's certain things I don't like that much. I'm for free speech, but only then I agree with.

Yeah, no one ever says that. That's the free speech is, and births try to make this point, to a worn-in man who was an attorney for some time. I think I say, yes, I also agree with that fucking obvious point that is pretty much pointless. You know, I define birds, Kroge. Those flying creatures with wings and feathers.

To me, that's what birds are, just to me. Yeah, and I support birds except when they're flying or sitting in their nest. Rather than that, I'm totally with them. All right, so that's another thing that Burt does. And I already feel bad for bringing this up, because I am not want to ever call someone a racist. Sure, I hate that shit.

Of course, yeah. I hate that shit. I think most people, they don't have bad thoughts against a whole group of people, because that's ridiculous. Yeah. Bert is trying to be funny, but also I think all inclusive. Mm-hmm.

And the truth comes out in this. I think people can be racist to white people. It's just that we don't give a crap that much because- Yeah, you don't like us. Yeah, it's kind of like, oh, you don't like white people? Good luck getting through society. Yeah, exactly. If that's where you're gonna hang your hat,

that you just don't like white people. Yeah. Good luck. Good luck getting a home loan. Good luck getting a fucking car. Yeah, that's where you're gonna hang your hat that you just don't like white people good luck Good luck getting a home loan good luck Fucking car good luck with good luck when you get an operation good luck there white people are fucking everywhere Yeah, you can't just go I hate white people I can't hate Mexicans. I love fucking more Garitas like I mean I can't hate Mexicans. I love Mexican food Grosha honestly, I The last thing I want to do is pull a clip and it's like this guy's racist. I hate doing that of course

Yeah, I've actually never done it before we listen to an entire week of Alex Jones When we reviewed the Alex Jones shit, I didn't use the word racism once But pressure gets out here. It says he can't hate white people because how you get an operation? Yeah, but people areyear gets out here and says he can't hate white people because how you get an operation Yeah, but people are amazing their surgeons. I don't dislike Mexicans because who's gonna make a margarita? Yeah, but holy shit Dude, I don't think he said that as a joke. Well, I don't think that was the part that was the joke I think he's that ignorant well, and it turns out that he's actually black my number six and they kept going I thought you were black bird like come on because I on, because I'm so into hip-hop. I was like, yeah, I don't like that shit, man.

It scares me. My black friend thought I was black because I listened to hip-hop. I was gonna let that chill there for a little while. Well, you know, Bill Clinton was the first black president. Yeah. I guess it kind of makes sense. Well, he did play sax on our city, oh, that's pretty.

That's, I give him points for that. Anywhere box or shorts? Fuck yeah! Don't forget that. It's not like Bob Dole was wearing box or shorts. Let's talk more about how dumb Bert is. Ha ha ha ha. Please, yes.

Anthony asks him this amazing question about what's going on in the tech sector of the world. Yeah. This guy brings up, well, do you know what's going on with China? And Bert is very quick to the affirmative on that. China has their hands in pretty much all of our devices. Are you with this? Dude, I have heard so much shit about China lately.

Yeah, apparently they're buying up, some, there's buying up all of Africa. Yeah What's that place? What's that was oh an entire continent? Yeah, that's the place I couldn't think of yeah One fifth of the surface area. Yeah, yeah, holy shit. God Lord bird is like a He's a weird human being and I got a couple examples of that My number one is him and he this is gonna come up a bunch, but Joe Rogan pulls him aside. I had such an issue with making friends that Rogan pulled me aside

and was like, he had a shot of whiskey and a beer. And he was like, hey man, we're trying to be your friend and you're not letting us be your friend. Wow. Do you know how fucked you got to be for someone to pull his eye and be like, let's do it. Yeah, we're on. I kind of give him credit in that regard.

He's very honest about himself. Sure. And what his flaws are as a human being. I'll give him credit for that. He talked about how he's working on himself and trying to be better. He seems like he was insufferable about 15 years ago. Yeah, I'm sure. So I gave him credit for that, but.

He tells a date story that blew my fucking mind. Here's number three. I took around a date and we had a fucking blast. And I told her that night, here's the deal. I'm not like a, I don't fuck people on the first night. Like I'm not like that kind of person. I'm a little more reserved. She was like, huh?

And I was like, you, I'm just gonna have sex, right? She was like that kind of person. I'm a little more reserved. She was like, huh? And I was like, you, I'm just gonna have sex, right? She was like, oh my God, who the fuck do you think I am? And I was like, I was like, you're a whore, right? And that goes on for a while. Oh my God, can you fucking imagine? Do you know who that story is about? No, it's about his wife, Lee Ann.

Oh, he's serious? Yeah, he was talking about what he met Lee Ann. He thought she was a whore. And she married him? And she married him. Dude, if the first date conversation is like, listen, I know you're hoping for the high-hard one, but I'm not. I'm not that kind of guy, honey.

I'll give a credit though. He said something that was really funny because his wife obviously hears these shows. And he goes, would I first be my wife? She was so hot, I mean, this is a long time ago. But she's so hot., but I'm sorry. I'm credit for that. Oh boy. I think that you picked up on this as well. There's some name dropping that happens on this show. Oh, is there? I didn't notice. That's fucking out of nowhere for no reason.

You'll have to tell me how this helps the story at all. Yeah. And they were narcissists. I think now I know they're narcissists. Yeah. But I'm going to talk to Stan Hope about it one night at Johnny Depp's house. Mmm. Drop.

Yep. There was no where they're talking about people who are narcissists. He goes, yeah, I was having this conversation the other day with my a-list celebrity friends. Yeah. And what they were saying, no, he doesn't even say what they were saying. It's more about him again. And if the flight leaves, he's talking about narcissists and narcissism.

And he interrupts Jordan to explain the things he might be a narcissist. Yeah. He points out different levels of like narcissism and predatory behavior. Because I'm a, I think I'm a part narcissist. I think I'm, I think I'm, partner assist. I think I think I'm a my wife calls me a soft narcissist and then I happen to think about myself a lot as

opposed to thinking of other people. Go ahead. Yeah, but there's a difference between so check out the big brain on bread. You're a smart motherfucker. That's right. Fuck a little bit. I know you love that. Let's talk about name drop in my number 13 is a bunch of name dropin'. And I put a beat under it, not because it's funny, but if anybody's listening to your

show and they're driving or jogging or something, I don't want them to collapse and die. So number 13. Alright, that's nice of you. Yeah. But I might talk to Stan Hope about a one night at Johnny Depp's house. Simon Rex was with Nick Schwartz and I'm not name dropping at all. Uh, Bill Burr, I hasn't said his name, but I know he doesn't give a fuck. Simon Rex was with Nick Swartz and I'm not name dropping at all Bill Burr hasn't say his name, but I know he doesn't give a fuck first time a way to a friend of ours Pro himself Brody spends very funny comments, I mean

Brogans I'm more of my friend than I look at him in that way. Didn't have Pete Davidson's number save Aaron Vaughn Schoenfeld is the Booker of the Improv It just goes on on Shonefelt is the Book of the Improv. It just goes on, on, on, on, on, on. I know, that's not it, stuff. Oh, fuck. I had a note in here because I had the clip

where he goes, I'm not name dropping here. No one's ever used Nick Swartzson's name. And then it was like, oh, you just named your app, and he's like, no, I'm talking about Nick Swartzson. That's the opposite of name dropping. And that was the one time he caught himself with made zero sense to me. Not when he's talking about hanging out at Jenny Depp's house when he brings up

Mick Swordson. Jesus. What was that fucking movie that guy was there that ruined his career? He played like this porn star. Oh, no, no, no. No, no, no, it's the worst movie ever made. It's one of the, it's like a rarefied

zero percent on right tomato. I thought you would know that. You're up on like the worst of pop culture. I sure have it. Now, you know what? Fuck. You gotta lick it up. You found a chake in my armor, dude.

We're gonna tie it. It'd be funny if we just spent the next 15 minutes on our phones looking shit up now. You know what, Carl? It's one of you mentioned that. So this show is long and it has no, you know what, Carl, it's one of you mentioned that. So, this show is long, and it has no reason to be long, because at one point, both of these dudes take out their phones, and they compare their Twitter headlines.

This is number seven, and I know it's fucking boring, but please just like bear with me here. But I'd be curious to see what the, what year for you, for you, looks like. Yeah, so, first thing is the the the the the okay the feature banner whatever. What is yours? Former Obama a charge generation from you. And there is no context that I don't know why that's funny. It's just it's a headline on the thing. And then they both they

go down and they read like the top 10 Twitter headlines. It's the most boring fucking thing I've ever heard. And as I'm listening to it go on and on and like, dude, why is this a three hour show? You're reading your phones to each other. I have the clip that, so they start reading the headlines. They're going to be comparing because they're trying to figure out if Twitter's algorithm is changing what the headlines are based on

who's reading it. Yeah. And so this goes on, like you said, for a while. And then they come to this and both make themselves sound stupid. the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more the more I'm out of it. I'm gonna be a break. But why would anyone go, what's Pam Anderson? I think about this. Like, stop the presses. I wanna know it. Clearly she must be dating him or something. Yeah, oh my god. She might be the fuck them.

There's only one reason she would be in tension when that she came on Pepsi. And maybe it's because I listen to no agenda on some of these other shows. And I know that Pam Anderson has gone to visit Julie and Assange multiple times and that there's a relationship there And these guys just see it like Pam Anderson What is this fucking wacky town?

We got a news is this and then they very quickly said really like, okay So apparently she has this to say about Ecuador and I'm just to say about yeah, okay, nevermind. Yeah, she's actually up on shit So that amaze. We're just now getting to this that false. I don't think man. Yeah, he turns get everybody. Yeah, she's actually up on shit. So the amaze we're just now getting to this. That false, I don't think, man. Yeah. He turns it on and off. Here's number 14. Yeah, right?

And just, no, that's accurate. It's very accurate. It's like Brooklyn. Oh, yeah. All right. I get another double vodka. The way you made it was perfect. I don't think that's real.

I love that because he sounds like a dying quail. I mean that shit is awful. But, so I do want to give Bert a compliment because I've been given him shit this whole time because he's a horrible podcast or in the show sucks. But I'll tell you what man, I found some of his music. I don't know if you know he was a musician for a while. I did not. And boy, those high notes are tough, man, but he fucking nails it.

My number 11 is one of his songs. What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing?

What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing? Yeah Dude I feel stupid now I didn't know that he wasn't musician Yeah, I've heard that song before I should have known that yeah, yeah, yeah, I feel stupid now. I didn't know that he wasn't musician. Yeah. I've heard that song before. I should have known that. Yeah. That's where I've heard that, too.

And he had another hit, too, at my number 12. Fuck, now if you're really dumb. I might have to take this out and post. This is a big question. Oh, man. Are you swimming? Are you sleeping? Are you sleeping okay?

Because I have a mattress for you. Need some mattresses for me. Oh,? Because I have a mattress for you. Leave me a mattress for you. Okay! Oh! I don't fucking need more! Oh! Oh! Come to America and go to a mall! And realize it's just gonna work out the way they follow us!

Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Oh! Oh, holy shit, would that laugh? Did you work Thriller into this anywhere? That's what I've done, Crush. I want to get back to not only this ridiculous or the top laughter that he has, but listen to how uncomfortable his guest gets, because when you're on a show with

someone and they start laughing, typically you're going to laugh along a little bit, even if it's a light laughter, Jordan is not laughing along. He has no idea why he just turned on this spiket where he's just uncontrollably laughing like a hyena. Yeah, but yeah, I was... By the way, he's reading his DMs. Okay, so this fits in with everything we've been talking about. Bert is just seeing, ignoring his guest, reading his DMs and he starts laughing hysterically and the guest is not amused.

But yeah, I was... I think how many unread test you have I'm just texting me on Instagram on Twitter and he says looks like you did it again. I'm just gonna give you my number. So you heard that the gas gave him nothing there. This is another example of that where it gets even worse. Birds foaming at the mouth. He's laughing so hard. They're thinking about you.

Oh, the big guy. He's a fucking arm dealer. And he's gonna be. Hey, buddy. Hey buddy! Please don't reply to this! I'm in the camera! Oh this is why I don't reply emails emails. Oh, let's get together. I love this. It's hot.

I'm going to some shit. I need your help. I think this is the reason why people suggested this episode specifically because Jordan doesn't know what to do right there. He tries to start a little lightly laughing along, but it's Instance here. Yeah, in my mind he's got his wallet out and he's like about to stick it in his mouth So he doesn't swallow his own tongue and die from a fucking epileptic fit It doesn't sound healthy this guy. No, I don't want to use whatever workout app he's been using I don't think it's gonna work very well. I don't shit. He's probably dying just looking at a fucking feed on it

This is where they're scrolling through their Facebook feed and real time you hear the discussing what they see on Facebook I think we'll get my Facebook feed a little bit of that looking at theirs Facebook for Instagram, but Facebook is better in my opinion at Big news see who I got to. Tiffany Haddish, I'm not gonna text her. Amazing! Let's see, a lot of people. So, I mean, what's the interesting part?

God damn it. Boring. Some of these people I don't fucking know. My Facebook is so filled with people I don't know. I'm sure. Think about it. Would this be interesting to you? What do you listen to this?

Thank you, Bonnie. This is what I mean by comfortable. The show has gotten way too comfortable with itself. Yeah. They have a lot of fans. Good for them. That's awesome. I'm sure Burt's a great comedian.

But nobody wants to listen to you and your guests scroll through their Facebook feeds and explain how Emily's on here. I don't know Emily real well. I think we're in second grade together. Oh, what's this? And this is another example of Burt just getting distracted by his phone.

Oh, fuck me. Now we're just... Yeah, now we're just... Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha consumed with his phone. Yeah. And just looking at that. This show should just be called, Birdcrisher is distracted by his phone. Yeah, there you go. That's actually a better title. But that was the name of the show. I think they nailed it. If I could pull it off, I can't believe it. Yeah.

All right. What else you got? Yeah, that's it. I'm so fucking done with this. I can't wait to never listen to this guy ever again. Hold on, hold on. I'm not ready to be done with this just yet. I have a clip on here that is the best part of this show.

Okay. By far. Okay. All right. Now you got my attention. Yes, they talk about how everyone on the West Coast is trying to do the Joe Rogan thing. Yes.

Which obviously he's copying Joe Rogan. Yeah, check, I'm gonna interview people and I'm going to, in fact, let me play this clip real quick or they're talking about that. Mark and I came to an epiphany last night about comedy, about the difference that you see in comics. Like a lot of us in LA have all kind of subscribed to the Rogan mold of like, do a podcast, do a good stand up.

That's how you, that's your path. He also mentions the timeura from your mom's house is his best friend. And we did your mom's house a few weeks ago. Yes. And surprisingly, their fans agreed with us. Yeah, they did. Everyone was concerned like, oh, those fans, watch out.

Watch out. On the sub-reddit, like, yeah, these guys got it right. This show's gotten stupid. They just interview people. It's boring. This is the problem.. They just interview people, it's boring. This is the problem. They're all trying to be Joe Rogan. Yes.

They're like, oh, I can sit down with someone for three hours to talk to them. You can't. Joe Rogan is an interesting person. He knows how to interview someone. He knows about the topic. He's knowledgeable. Maybe he does a little bit of studying beforehand.

And he's interested. He's interested. He listens to the answer. Absolutely, yeah. He's interested. Yeah. Listen to the answer. Absolutely. Yeah. He actually has a conversation with people. Bert Kreischer comes out and goes, all right, tell me something interesting.

Yeah, tell me some stuff, tell me some stuff. Give me some stuff. And then I'm going to talk about me for a while. Okay, back to you, tell me something. Tell me something interesting. Tell me something good. You are not Joe Rogan. Anyway, my point is that was not my point.

I got off a little bit here. Ha, ha, ha. So the mold a little bit here. Ha ha ha. So the mold for the West Coast is Joe Rogan. And then they say on the East Coast, it's David Tal. Huh. And they decide to start telling all their favorite David Tal jokes, which is the best part of this whole podcast. Yeah.

What's your favorite David Tal joke? Oh, jeez. I love the joke where he says, I used to do drugs, but that was way over there. It just, no joke has ever sounded like that. That's a new formula. Is it just me or does an owl look like a lawyer for a parent? A parent's lawyer.

When Steve Irwin died, he got killed by a stingray. And he goes, ah, stingray, the Puerto Rican of the sea. He's got a billion of them. You know the kind of girl that drinks diet, coke, and whiskey, and goes outside, and yells the N word at allunic clips. He said, if you bury a Confederate flag, a cracker-brill-gross.

Bipolar, the bus part of the bike. This bike has just be telling David Telt. Yeah. Yeah, it would be amazing Yeah, you could read and reach mid-rolls post mid-rolls whenever you wanted to do up there. I'll do it That was my mark Norman has been touring with them in Europe mark Norman was on the show and also on the show that I listened to That was number three forty three And I want to play was number 343. And I wanna play a couple of clips from that episode. Okay. This is, I mentioned in the beginning of these shows

it's just him and his wife chatting about nonsense. And he says he wants to put good shit out and then immediately fumbles the ball. That's all I wanna do is make good shit. And I'm putting you on good shit because I want my shit to be that good too. I hope that you, that I keep putting else. Oh, what the fuck?

So it's ridiculous that a professional podcast would be that terrible. Yeah. So you think, well, okay, he must not add it. Obviously that's like what they're going for. That's the charm of it, they don't add it. Yeah. Except for right after that, this happens.

Podcast, not a live podcast. Just do a podcast, we'll air that next week. Today's podcast is, oh shit, I forgot to mention Shane Torres, Shane Torres. Obviously added it in. Why not add it at the part where you're fumbling on your words, you can't do the live read correctly. And then here's proof that podcast fans are only bunch.

If there's a demographic known as lonely, we should just call it Elrida Rigby. Should be the name of podcasts. Because the podcast isn't making any sense, we're known as iPod. Yeah. Doesn't make sense. This is him talking about when his early fans found the show, it's because they needed a friend I hadn't happened in a while, but like when podcasting really took off There were a lot of people that were going through something that found podcasting and were you'd run into them

And they put all their cards on the table and end up crying to you a lot and it was like wow But it was like always like, it was always like some guy going through, I'm going through some, I love all the background noise we have going on. Like, are you truck making my delivery? I left that part in because there's barely any noise in the background and he acknowledges it. It's the opposite of OP.

Yeah. He actually is concerned that you might hear some random nonsense, except for the fact that he did learn something from OAPI. Tomorrow's 2-3 hours, what's the next day? Uh, Boston London, 2 hours realistically. Maybe we'll do a bath to London, we'll do a podcast coming into London, or on the train. Oh no.

We'll do a podcast. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, we'll do a podcast on the train. No. We'll do a podcast on the train, we'll release that next week. No, don't do a podcast on the train Hopi What do you do Ed? He brings up a compelling story about a baseball team that he used to be on I think it was a softball team This was fascinating. Remember when they used to have rovers in baseball?

No. They'd field nine people and they'd go, put the girl at rover. Right. And then you left center, right center. Yeah. Wherever she used to be. Right.

Yeah. And so her name was Melissa Grover. Oh, they enough. Yeah. I think. Yeah. And so she was our rover in Pinto League. She was a baseball player.

I ended up knowing her my whole life. Yeah. Yeah, I know her brother too. I think I'm and so she was our rover in Pinto league. She was a baseball player. I ended up knowing her my whole life Yeah, yeah, I know her brother too. I think I'm saying their name. I think it's that was a orthopedic surgeon Sorry, did I drift it off there for a minute? Yeah, yeah, that got tough right there Shooting the shit with his buddies aimlessly. Yeah talking about random nonsense. Let me tell you about my childhood friends. Oh, gross. If you had a girlfriend, he's like, they had a band brand as I'd hit a power cord to show you up.

Who's happening on a podcast? Yeah. On purpose. Oh my God. I got called out because I said, yeah, I don't talk about the isotopes enough of that. It's fucking nonstop. Oh, yeah, they have band brand. Yeah. yeah, it's the other day at Bad Fridays.

Jordan, what's the guy's name? Jordan Harbinger? Sure, yeah. Said something kind of weird. I was surprised by this. Oh, yeah, you know, all guys at where Tampa Bay Bucking your shirts are racist and abuse their kids. I don't know if that's true.

I don't know if that's the sound accurate. I'd be open to seeing the statistics Painting with a broad brush there, isn't it all right. I'll be honest Bert go to me into taking that clip right It makes you just gonna pull that fucking clip Yeah, yep, yep, that's exactly what happened last thing I'm gonna play and then we'll move on crows God, I'm sorry you wanted to be done with us and I'm just like, rap and fire, let's go, let's go, let's go. More clips.

He's talking about his buddy, Tom Segura. Mm-hmm. And of course, Tom is a very famous comedian, has a huge podcast with your mom's house, and even Bert laughs at what Jordan says here. My best friend is a comedian, Tom Segura. Oh,. Oh yeah. He's all over the place. Yeah, yeah it was really large so that happens. Dr. Drew had him on. Yeah and so yeah, yeah. He's all over the place. Dr. Drew had him on. We're like Dr. Drew what was this 1998? Why would that be a big thing? No one will assist the doctor to

touch the girls podcast is 50 times bigger than Dr. Drew's podcast. Yeah. That was listening to that. He's like, oh yeah, he's all over the place. Okay. I guess. I thought that was funny. All right. Nothing else you want to play from your board here? We got some unplayed clips. You're good. Now I got to miscellaneous cringes and throw out your later. Oh, sweet. That's it for this stuff. Awesome. Well, if that's the case, we have a lot more to get to.

Fantastic. Let's start with everyone's second favorite segment. Oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, my, oh my, my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh! Oh, the man! Oh, the man! Oh, the man! Oh, the man! Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum! BOOM! You listen to OP at all this week, Groosh? Oh, God, no.

I didn't tell you, too, but I assume at this point you know the deal. I did! I spent three hours with that other asshole. That's true. Oh, as I would have been. Yeah, that was very rude of us to make you do that. This is episode 110 called the float place. The float place. OP is on his own in this episode. Oh, joy of joy. Yes. Always cringetastic when it's just the upster. Yeah. So here's the scenario that I wanna present to you. Are you familiar with sensory deprivation?

I am. Okay. This is where you sit in a tank of salt water and you float and it's silent and pitch black. There's nothing that's working against your body in any way. Yeah, and it's like it's up to body temperature, right? So there's no sensation at all, yeah. Correct.

As soon as you get used to the water touching, I've done this a couple of times, so I know a little bit about this. Yeah. You sit there for an hour and a half or so, and you are alone with your thoughts. There is nothing else to distract you, nothing else going out in the world. And people... It's world. And people terrifying.

It's terrifying. I suppose you for a guy like Obi, you do a match in. Oh, Lord. So Obi has been going back and forth with this guy on Long Island who owns one of these float centers. And he goes up to the guy. They've been going back and forth for a while. He's a fan of Obi from back in the day.

Obi walks into his establishment and doesn't even have a normal human interaction with him. He's automatically podcasted. Tom? Tom, I already started the podcast. What's going on, buddy? How awkward is Obi? He cannot just be a human being for one second. No, broadcaster. Yeah, it's always broadcast. He walks to the establishment. Hey being for one second. No. Broadcaster. Yeah. It's always broadcasting. He walks to the establishment. Hey, Tom, it's OP.

What's up, man? You're on the show. Say hi to the listeners. Okay. It's... All right. So this is awesome. I am so excited to play these cuss for you, Crush.

I really am. All right. I should have gotten to do that, uh, that fucking birdcrasher nonsense. A lot quicker because this is what I'm stoked about today. Nice. He is gonna get ready for the very first time do this flow, all right?

And OP does not understand what this is at all. He's wildly confused. He thinks that anytime there's water involved, that it's a similar experience to what he's about to do. For example, he asks people if it's like scuba diving. Okay. No, I'm going pitch dark. Yeah, I'm going pitch dark.

Is it like scuba diving? Have you ever scuba diving? I've never went scuba diving. Scuba diving is the most amazing thing you could do. Yeah. Yeah, wow. Yeah. It's getting owns a float center. It's all about it and hope he goes, is it like scuba diving? He's like, I have no idea. I mean, no, it's not. Scuba diving is totally different experience. Yeah. I would say almost night and day. Yeah. Because the whole point of scuba diving is you're seeing sights and moving a lot. is totally different experience. I would say almost night and day,

because the whole point of scuba diving is you're seeing sights and moving a lot. New big a lot, you're very aware of your surroundings. It's a very, very different experience. The only thing that I would say it hasn't common is the water park, right? It's the only thing, but if you're gonna say that,

that anything you do outside, I guess you can compare with each other. You wanna play baseball? I don't know, I wrote a motorcycle, was that the same thing? Yeah. Yeah. All right, so this is the guy Tom owns the shop.

He's explaining what goes into one of these tanks. And what it is is it's a body water, usually about 200 gallons of water. It's got about a thousand pounds of Epsom salt in it. A thousand pounds. A thousand pounds. Okay. Did you, did you catch that, Grouch?

Uh-huh. What did he say was in the water? Epsom salt. How much? Thousand pounds. Okay. A thousand pounds of Epsom salt. Didn't know there was going to be quiz today, Carl.

Well, I just wanted to see how good your comprehension skills were. Wow. Because opi's are atrocious. One minute later, he asked of this. How many pounds of salt again? About 1,000. A thousand. What kind of salt is it?

Epsom salt. Oh, fuck it, opi. Are you kidding me? And then the opster, now he wants to show off his comprehension skills. And then take me through it So because I'm gonna do this but you know for the podcast so It's over a thousand pounds of salt

It's not the fucking important part OP. Yeah, it's not the weight of the salt. That's the important part of this So this is OP explaining that he can't he meditates. Opie's very zen. I don't know if you knew that. That's I find that surprise. I did too. I find it unrealistic. Yeah. I think he might be lying because he's explaining meditation in a way that I've never heard anyone else explain it. I've had wild meditations. Yeah. Wild. I've said it off and on on the podcast. I've come out of some medications not on medications Do you miss on meditations? Not all of them. Obviously most are just I'm relaxed and chill and it's nice And it comes me but everyone's all I am on a rocket ship and I'm seeing things that I can't

Explain in like human language like shapes and colors and like things that seem to be like in Contacts with me crazy stuff. It's only having a couple times and then I come out of it I've said this on the podcast. I want to run home and tell my wife and then by the time I get home I'm like I can't explain or describe what I just went through. You're nodding That's the fucking stupidest thing I've ever heard before. Thank you! Good Lord! I've never heard someone explain meditation like that before.

That's the exact opposite of meditation. Right! That's like, meditation is calmness. It's calming your mind. Well, first of all, meditation is all about being present. Yes. Opie is the least present person I've ever heard before. Correct.

But second of all, yeah, it's about becoming one with your body and your breathing and all that. It would be like if I was like, dude, I took a nap and it was the most exciting thing that's ever fucking happened. It was like, he's not a roller coaster. This nap was so fucking amazing. Right. So he explained it to that's what meditation is, which it is not. Good Lord. And he's, and if you heard the end of that clip, he goes, I see you're nodding. You know what I'm talking about. And the guy says, yeah, yeah,, I see you're nodding. You know what I'm talking about. And the guy says, yeah, yeah, I do know what you're talking about. It's not meditation.

You're nodding. You understand this. I understand from a dream perspective, like I've had dreams that I can't like- Right. I'm out very vivid to me. And it's almost like pictures or like a moving story that I understand, but if I try to describe it to somebody,

I can't, I don't have the right words to describe it, right? Okay. So, OP does not understand what meditation is. He's not grasping the concept of what this float experience is supposed to be. He's not understanding it at all. In fact, he explains that he's not gonna podcast from the tank. Okay.

Yeah. Big sense, right? It's a silent environment. Well, I'm not a great place to podcast. I'm not going to podcast while I meditate either. But someday he will. Now, people, uh, things these podcasts are going to be mad because, you know, now, like, I'm going to shut the door and I'm not going to, you know, continue the podcast. But you know what, down the road after we do this, so what we're gonna do is,

Joe is gonna do something and be a jump cut. And then next time I talk, it's when I leave the tank and then we'll talk about my experience, okay? But down the road, if we do this again, we gotta get the Cuban here and a couple of my other guys. We'll have one big party here. And then somehow I wanna like, I wanna like podcast from the tank a little bit.

You fucking more, Rod! Is that fucking more dumb as thing you've ever heard? He wants to podcast from the tank and have a party! Let's have a fucking party! I gotta get a few bit down here, I gotta get Vic Hadley, he's a fucking right, you're gonna love Vic Hadley! He never shuts up! It's exactly what you guys want in this place! The guys like, we actually just listen to classical music.

Yeah, that's... And then get in the tank for a couple hours. And that's 180 degrees opposite of what we do here, you asshole. It's precisely the opposite. He's talking about throwing a party and he goes, somehow we're gonna figure out a way to podcast from the tank. So he's not understanding this concept at all. Right? Yeah.

Obviously. And I like that he's explaining how audio formats work. Now listen, the next time I talk is not gonna be like right after what I'm saying now. What are you, you're gonna hear me, it's gonna sound like right in a minute from now, but it's not gonna be even. And he said his listeners are gonna be bummed about it. Oh, they're gonna be devastated. My listeners.

My listeners love it when I bring them into the dieter with me. We walk down the street together. Oh, every moment in my fucking day is being captured by this audience. Nobody likes that on me. No, they tell you they like that. They hunger for it. Carl, I get emails like, how come you don't podcast during meals?

How come you don't podcast? Well, you're asleep. I wish you'd podcast from the shower. I can't spend a fucking moment of my day separate from you, Opie. That's the emails that he gets. All right. So, Opie does the sensory deprivation and

he comes out of it and this is his reaction. Wow, that's all I'm so like chill so relaxed I just got out of the flotation chamber. I think that's what it's called About five or ten minutes ago. I Literally couldn't speak I was so chill so mellow All right, so I mentioned I've done this before. I don't know if you ever have. I'm not.

Alright, I've tried it a couple of times. It's fine. Yeah, I'm probably not the right person for it, but there's no way that Opie did this right. I don't prove it. I don't prove it. So when he goes on to explain some of the things that he was really shocked about and one of

them was how dark it was in there. The other thing when I first started, I just closed my eyes because naturally you want to do that even though it's a very, very dark space. You can't see your hand in front of you but you know, I guess you're just used to you know closing your eyes. So I closed my eyes and somewhere in, I decide to open my eyes, and you couldn't tell the difference. You couldn't tell the difference between your eyes opening

or your eyes closed. No shit, sir, no shit! No shit, sir! No fucking shit, sir! Oh, is that amazing? He goes, saws it in this pitch black environment. Yeah. And you wouldn't believe it, Grouch.

Whether your eyes were open or close, it was completely dark. I closed my eyes, it was dark. I opened them was still dark. And then it gets locked, I close them again, and it was still dark, and then I open them again. SENSORY DEFRIENCIO. Are you not grasping?

SIT! It's one of your senses, OP! Are you not understanding the concept of this? I mean, it's in the name of the fucking thing you're doing. This is him again proving that he has no idea what this is Because he again acts like he's scuba diving and at one point I had my arms all the way stretched out behind my head and that felt absolutely stretched out behind my head and that felt absolutely amazing. It reminded me of wanting me to go scuba diving, I haven't scuba diving for a few years now but just that sensation of being in the ocean and just kind of floating in space. But with that, you know, you're checking out fish. You're checking out coral.

You have to kind of, you know, make sure you're kind of swimming along lightly. Yeah, we know what scuba diving is. It's nothing like what you just did. Could you imagine if you go to scuba diving as soon as you're able to, he's like, oh, is this like sensory deprivation? Because I've done that.

Is this the same thing? No, it's not. It's similar, though, right? Similar. He's like, put my arms this like sensory deprivation? I've done that. Is this the same thing? Nope, it's not. It's similar, though, right? Similar. He's like, put my arms where my head in the float tank. It's like that, right? Can you believe this fucking asshole? He is so stupid.

And he puts it on the internet for all of us to enjoy. He's such a nice guy, he's always giving. Well, and it's just so boring. The experience itself for the person that's doing it, I'm sure is cool, you know? But it's not interesting to anyone else. I mean, why are we doing this? All right, Opie again, talking about his experience

in the tank, Crows, because this is what we're all excited about. This is why we're listening to this podcast. The reason we showed up today. You could tell that he obviously understands a lot about meditation. Wow, wow. You want to talk about not hearing a sound, not a sound. And then at one point, I'm looking around the chamber,

trying to see anything, and I couldn't see nothing. And then I'm like, well, let me see if I could at least see my hand in front of my face. And I kept putting my hand closer and closer to my eyes Couldn't see Couldn't see it all nice meditation stupid He's in there fidgeting the whole fucking time. Yeah, and he talks about how he's like bouncing back and forth He's doing all this shit like Opie you were not alone with your thoughts

Mm-hmm. You're trying to see your fucking hand in the pitch dark alone with your thoughts. You're trying to see your fucking hand in the pitch dark. Oh my god, this fucking guy. So he goes out and he talks to the owner and explains what an amazing experience he had. He can't wait to do it again. And Tom surprised because he says, you know, usually the first time you do this, you're kind of feeling it out. And it takes a few times before you really figure out how to enjoy it. That's great man That's great you were able to get so deep your first flow because a lot of times you go come here especially During their first session they're almost

It's almost like they're trying too hard to do it like all right. I'm gonna relax Sounds right. Yeah, it's almost like psych themselves out or They have different expect expectations coming in. I think it's gonna be this amazing thing Yeah, rather than just letting themselves naturally get there, they try to force themselves together. And it doesn't sound like that's what happens. It sounds like you were able to kind of go in there and just flip the ways you should.

Yeah. Tom is explaining that OP is a liar. That's what that was right there. Really, all that stuff worked out perfect for you because OP, that's never happened before. I sound like this works. Oh no, for me, that's exactly how it worked. Yeah. I was, I was so tranquil and I was in a meditation and the time flew by.

That's great. No, you were trying to look at your hand, you were fidgeting, your arms over your head, you thought you were scuba diving. I mean, I fucking idiot. No, no, no, first time I went golfing, home and one. Home and one. Home and one, I'm going to play it. You wouldn't believe it.

This is Opie having the same interview skills as Bert Kreischer. Oh boy. So walk us through floating. Like, yeah, just explain it for the newbies out there. Oh. Just explain the entire thing that you do. Yeah.

This entire business that you upset up, just explain it. What's the deal? What's loading? Who are these loaders? Where would you begin with a question like that? Oh, God. Oh, be it all this time to prepare to talk to this guy. And you had no questions. Ugh. All right, two more things I want to play

from this episode, guys. I thought we're hilarious. He gets there and he's talking to these jerks of the Zoom recorder. And someone's teapot is boiling in the background. Oh nice and Opie's very concerned about this because of the noise that it makes of course What's that loud noise is that tea? Oh, yeah, it's a teaco Sorry No, I got a producer he's gonna that's my drive. I'm not because as long as they know it's T in the background

What kind of T we brewing today? Um, so He's concerned that Joey's gonna freak out Then you can hear that in the background Meanwhile, this is the assholes had dogs barking. He's sat in diners. He's walked down the street in Manhattan He podcasted from a podcast convention on the floor of the convention. He's been in a restaurant's kitchen that's under construction. And he's concerned that he walks in this place.

He's like, oh, dude, what the fuck? He got water boiling over there. I mean, my producer's be pissed about this. But he asks the hard-heading questions. What we all want to know, Farah. What kind of tea? What are you doing, bro? Man, see, that's the kind of heavy-hit and shit that we've come to expect from the Oaks, sir.

It better be Earl Gray or else I'm fucking out of here. Fuck that bullshit. We got some sleepy time over there. I won't stay for that. All right, Crows, one last clip from this episode. Yes. Anyone who's listened to this show knows I have to play this clip yeah it's a long one okay but I couldn't take any of this out yeah all right I have to hear it all love it love it all right really Joey this is before he goes into the tank. Alright. Really Joey. Joey. Yeah. Give me some peace. From what I heard you already have peace. Joey. Uh-huh. Here. Stand by. Gotta take my lead before I go into my tank.

Can't you do something here? You like podcasts noises, so. You're gonna hear, you don't want, you don't want to hear. Let's just let it roll. All right. No? Joey? We let everything else roll. I wish people could see the look in your face right now. I fucking hate this. Hold on, we get some good jokes in as he's peeing.

Joey puts some stuff in post to really amp it up. How fucking long is this going? Oh, I'll have wait for it Jesus Christ you piss like man or war Do you hear that in this fucking cheesy radio at it? Hello This fucking Joey Salvia guy Oh, this fucking Joey Selvia guy Took a train from the 90s to the studio to produce this. Yeah, fuck is a rock with these people. He was frozen in time for 20 years

I fucking hate this what the fuck can you believe this is happening? What the fuck this was on a fucking show? Go get your prostate checked out please How fucking long is this clip dude? It's two minutes long you got it. It's real time. Let's see the OPP Oh fuck you your fucking fuck you This is what you buy the asshole wants to podcast from the float tank. No, don't stop it. I want to hear him wash his hands He didn't he walked out of the door I know it's asleep for that too Holding the zero recorder to one hand. He doesn't know what else to do.

I don't think he has a choice. Crush, is that unbelievable? That's one of my favorite things that I've ever brought to this show is OP talking about something he did not grasp the concept of at all. I can't, I, he was wildly confused about why he was there, what he was supposed to be doing,

how that all works. And his exciting conclusion was, I'm coming back here, I'm bringing Carl Ruiz with me. We're going to podcast from the tank. It's unbelievable. Well, and I really hope he records himself taking a shit in the morning beforehand Maybe he should have to fight track 17, huh? Yeah, he should record his whole shit shower and shave so we can really get into the, you know, get into the fucking spirited things. The sound boards got it all crows. Anything you can want.

All right, buddy, let's move on from Opie. We have other amazing things to talk about. Oh, wow, dude, I can't even believe what I did. Sorry, go ahead. I got to know from a listener, Paul, who thinks that our friends over at the ANOA Gender Show were making fun of OP. Really?

Let me set this up real quick. Adam Curry got married recently. Yeah, yeah. And so they had a different type of show. They had a couple interviews. It wasn't their regular podcast, but they broke in and joked about the fact that John C. DeVorack might want to podcast from Adam's wedding. So are you bringing your are you bringing this wedding?

Yeah. Are you bringing your zoom recorder? Bring this zoom. Yes. He gives up. He gives up some material. Oh God. Well, make sure you talk to Tiffany and we're low, though. Yes, I will definitely. Oh, yes Bring the big one then to be good to zoom well. I zoom zoom So not as soon now it's a zoom zoom. So I want to remind people that and it was about to say the H4 and Zero recorder which OP famously uses that's been brought up a few times on this show

So I don't know if that's true that they were there was a nod to OP or not I mean, that's got to be next for Oopster right though. I mean he's gonna be at a some family event Does he still does his family even talk to him maybe no? Famously they do not yeah, okay, I can see why. But he's got kids, so maybe he'll be at like the, you know, middle school graduation podcast. Well he hangs out with his in-laws. He calls him his crew. And they're down in Philly. I got my crew down in Philly. Yeah. Take no, no. You married into a family that has to put up with you stupid. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Like you real family who've known you all your life,

don't talk to you. Yeah. These new people who have to see you because they still love their daughter. Ha ha ha ha. That's how you're crew. Yeah, they're obligated to tolerate you for. They're obligated to spend time with you

because you married their daughter. Ha ha ha ha. Stupid. Oh God. Man. We gotta cool post on the subreddit from a guy. I don't know how to pronounce this name. Maybe you can help me out with this this word right here Sonnever Marie. Yeah, there you go now that He brought up that he thinks Centering John was talking about us

So I wouldn't listen to it and I think I have to agree yeah because again Go imagine the cream of dual Jabbar roast And I'm sorry for not that so well. Yeah, yeah, okay. Yeah, I do but I always found Richard Lewis to be a lot funnier I mean I just like him I mean and so like I when I was head writer of the Kareem Abdul Jabbaros That's right you fucking douche's I was the head writer of the Kareem Abdul Jabbaros I got the right jokes for everybody from Kareim to fucking I can't remember the stuttering guy Oh, God, you with all of them I wrote jokes for AC cowlings. That was added. I don't even know the best

I heard most of the days cast off a Twitter. No, no seriously, but I mean I mean I got to write for all those people and what was I what the fuck was I going for here? Like I didn't really part of the Sudary judge show you can just clip and you're like holy shit this guy's the worst broadcast or the history of broadcast Yeah, I you could drop the needle anywhere He just be like another thing about anywhere. He just be like another thing about cook cream at Dool D. Jafar. They're basically what he brought. Oh, God. I wrote jokes for that guy and the other guy. I don't remember his name, but he was somebody and you would have been impressed if you knew his name. He couldn't think of one other person that was out of that rose.

There wasn't a one famous person out that rose. Oh, fuck. Wow. Yeah. So right after that, the reason why he brought that up is because he's talking about the fact that Richard Lewis told him how funny he was oh Because well, oh oh Richard Lewis, you know happened to be in the audience and he goes John You know, I love you. You're fucking super talented. I always knew it after they played all my bits, you know So this is the thing with just that our job that I've realized I think it's so funny He thinks that every polite compliment is vindication. Yeah, oh yeah, like obviously I'm amazing even Richard Lewis told me I was so good such a great writer without my bits

When I got right in space and said how did you like it? Did you like that? I was so great what I did right? I'm good boy. Wasn't it? That's a good point. How would you say take me a science thing? Hey John really like your bitch sound Yeah, he's really funny, dude dummy They don't actually think you're funny. It's polite conversation that you have with someone It's much if you just seen them do comedy. Yeah, yeah, I Met Jim nor in the other night. I don't know my time So Jimmy Norton was in town and Vinnie featured for him

So I went in and I talked to him and you know what he said to me. He said hey, Carl I like your podcast. It's very funny Do you know why he said that because that's what you said because he was standing in front of him right? That's what you say. He didn't go out of his way to tweet me or send me an email He probably heard three seconds of the fucking show. Get that, yeah. But it was very nice of him to say your show was very funny. Stuttering Joe would have heard that, he'd be like, thought Jim Dormatt takes out the funniest comedian.

He never heard that. That would have been the first six minutes of the show today. All right. I need to talk about this Howard Stern exclusive. Oh boy. That Stuttering John has brought to the world. Really now? Oh good, you don't know about this.

I was hoping you didn't know about this. Yeah, I'm out of it. All right, I was too busy looking up already as mugshot from this week. Was it amazing? His face is flat, except for his chin pops out. His nose is flat to his face. Yeah, I mean that if you don't know what we're talking about,

already laying a long time Stern show, It's flat to his face. Yeah, I mean that if you don't know what we're talking about, Arty Lang, longtime Stern Show co-host, Scott arrested for the 50th time, he's going back to rehab for the 100th time, but this time I'm sure it's gonna work out. Sure. His nose is destroyed from drug use. It's gone. When he's looking straight on the camera, it looks bad.

Yeah. But then he turns 90 degrees for the mug shot, and it's the most frightening fucking thing I've ever seen. I mean, I've seen horror movies that were less disturbing than Arty's face right now. God, more. That carnalist never had a chance. Oh, dude, I've been having nightmares of that all week. Fuck. So, Stuttering John gets exclusive audio. And he's been talking about this for a while. He's been saying, I know for a fact that Howard Stern told his staff to set up fake Twitter accounts.

Wow. And Suttering John has the audio. Boy, I'm gonna need a minute to brace myself for that revelation then. And I'm gonna play it for you now. That's our search oil work for you. How do we get the word out? So set up a fake Twitter account. Become 10 different people. I don't get shit.

And then when our 14 says to you, we want to get Lady Gaga on the show. They announce it on Boldred. And all of a sudden Lady Gaga, I'm telling you, just let me read to the Twitter stuff. Every celebrity's got to say, just random things from fans, hey, we need to do that out of search,

we watch it on the show, and we're getting all this publicity material. And we're getting, and we're getting a bargain. And it works. Said before, it's your home of the witness, it's the bank on the door. We gotta bang up people's doors. They're forgetting about us. And I'm pissed.

Okay. So we have a 14. It's going to be about six or seven people who are going to head this up. You're going to be quinkly. But everyone in this room I'm telling you is responsible for involvement, pitching, guessing, and stratification. It's up to us. We don't do this.

I think we're in trouble. Groes, reaction? Thoughts? Sorry, I dropped it off. So that was a, that was like a staff meeting in the morning. That was a secret recording of a staff meeting. Correct. So someone pull out their iPhone hit record and Howard's addressing the staff. This is early out in the Marcy Turk days.

Okay. And what I understand, this is probably around the time I already left, Marcy took over the show and they switched formats to become like this A-list celebrity interview show. And so the, just what I understand, the controversial thing is that he wanted his people to become involved in social media.

Yes. Boy, that's a shocking revelation, dude. I'm, I had a feeling you were gonna react like that because- I'm slaver guy. Stuttering John is actually like, he has blown up this amazing case against Howard's like, oh, well, now, no, it was ever gonna take this guy seriously

ever again. This guy seems like the CEO of a company that he wants to succeed. I've sat through 500 meetings that are just like that. Right, right. He's like, I need you to go all on board, we gotta work together at this. We gotta get great guests. Like, okay, seems reasonable.

Yeah. I didn't find anything in there that shocked me. Did you guys know the celebrities read their Twitter? Yes. They're narcissists, I didn't know that. I mean, don't have the people on Twitter have 10 fake accounts anyway. I mean, it is that. That's what Twitter is. It's fake accounts. That's the whole fucking thing. Yeah, I had a feeling you were going to be that impressed with that. Stuttery John's super excited about it. Do you mean when I followed Artie Lang's nose on Twitter?

That wasn't actually his nose. He doesn't have a nose. You should have known that. You know, social media literacy is just, it's beyond me I guess. That's exactly right. All right. That's our Southern John segment. Oh beautiful. Which brings us to the next segment. Gringe of the week. Oh right. The week.

That's right. We have a cringe of the next segment. Gringe of the week. Oh, right. That's right. We have a cringe of the week segment. This is a podcast called The Bayesian Conspiracy. And Tracy Grease on this end. This is, let me read the email that he or she wrote to me. You know, when you see Tracy assume it's a woman, but yeah, you never know. This person also likes our show.

So then you go, ah, maybe not. Yeah, it could be Tracy Morgan. Exactly. So Tracy says, they're answering a listener question about how in the transhumanist future, where our brains have all been uploaded to computers and robots. Of course, yeah, you know. And you can down under mine into anybody.

Oh yeah, yeah. What's the purpose? What party would they want to have and robots. Of course, yeah. And you can down under mine into anybody. Oh yeah, yeah. What's the purpose? Body, what they want to have. Yeah. And then the exchange follows where this person pretty much admits that they're a furry and then backtracks right away. So this is the cringe of the week. But then after that, I think my final form I would set

settle on something furry with a tail with like ears. Aw. I want to be, yeah, I want to be like some kind of foxy creature like Robin Hood or something because, oh my god. Ah! That would be the best. I would live my entire life like that and be happy forever.

So you're a furry. I don't know what the definition of furry is. I know. Yeah, that's your furry. I don't have a body suit or anything and I kind of, I don't know. No, no, I'm not because I can't be a Anthropomorphic animal I I'm stuck into this body. So no, I'm not afraid every now and then I put on a tail when I go out dancing It's really fun to shake a tail on the dance floor. It's something cool to work with

But if I could be a furry person animal thing that I would So you first says I don't know what a furry is and thing that I would. Oh my god. So you first says, I don't even know what a furry is. And it explains exactly what it is. Look, all there is is drugs, and he wears a tail on the dance. Other than dressing up as an animal

when I go out on Saturday nights, I'm not familiar with this whole furry concept. Yeah, Trace says, after hearing this clip, I'm fully convinced that this guy is not a furry. He's just a normal person who likes to wear a tail when he goes out to dance clubs and shakes his rub. Oh my God. He wishes he could be a furry adult person, you know?

Normal stuff. Totally stuff that not furries are good to. Yeah, well, I mean, just the, when you're talking about downloading your consciousness into other beings, that's, yeah, sorry. Yeah, apparently this podcast is about rationalists, people who fancy themselves as modern intellectuals. There's nothing intellectual about anything that just happened.

No, that's what I like about that. That's the exact opposite of intellectualism. Welcome to podcasts. Yeah, really. So listen, since we're talking about intellectuals, can I throw a couple things at you? Please. I've preached the gospel of your favorite band socks here before.

Yes. They talked about, they gave a very thoughtful critique on my favorite album by my favorite band. And they tied it back to something that we've discussed on this show a few times. No shit. So here's my number 20. Can I just, I want to make it clear what just happened now. Go ahead. So this is something that's way inside baseball. We're talking about your favorite band, your favorite album, it's something that you way inside baseball. We're talking about your favorite band, your favorite album,

something that you and I have talked about. I just think it's a funny clip. Which all I really have to say about animals is the edge from you two. Said he bought his first delay pedal after hearing the song Dogs. So fuck Pink Floyd forever and extra fuck this album. Yeah, yeah, shit. It paved the way for you to fuck it. For real.

That's funny. Now look, like I said, my favorite album from my favorite band, but I can't defend that. They got a major- You're blaming Pink Floyd's Animal Zombs? He just said it too. You two came out and said it. And they ruined it for me forever and ever. Alright, I got that podcast. People tell me that it sucks, and people tell me that it's great, well ever. All right, I got that podcast.

People tell me that it sucks, and people tell me that it's great. Well, just you. Yeah, I think it's fucking. I got to check it out. I think it's funny, but all right. Now my last one, this is gonna be real random, but there's a podcast called 30 for 30,

and it's from ESPN, their audio documentary is on sports. I'm not much of a sports guy, but there's some really good documentaries here. So what we're gonna hear is Daniel Neary, he's of Regan Books. This is like 10, 12 years ago, and they're about to publish a book that is going to just totally rock Major League Baseball and sports in general. But he's talking about the process leading up to publishing this fucking shaking book.

This is number 21. His boss handed him two folders with stories to go into the production pipeline. One of them, it says, Mr. Big. And it's the memoirs of this guy who has a 13 inch penis. And the other one, it says, juxtaposed. And it is, Jose can say, go. And he wants to do a tell-all about steroids and sports.

But Daniel could only choose one to get started with. Oh, my god, geez. Let's see what's going on with this guy's cock, I guess. Now the reason I love that clip is because that kind of tells you everything you need to know about journalism in sports. This is true. This is huge news. He's going to name names.

He's going to tell you which locker room he shot up, which baseball player was steroids. Dude, that's second on the list That was in congress that was being dealt with at the highest level Legislation in this country. Oh, yeah, these people were on trial in front of Congress for that Yep, and ESP was like or this book published reading books. Yeah decided. Yeah, but this guy's got a 13-inch hog I'll add a second. Yeah, hey, I was there Slow down over there, buddy. Exactly. Maybe next year.

So there you go. But really, 13 inches, what was the girl? Let's talk about it. Yeah, I got some pictures of my bones. Let's get into it. Awesome. Well, Kroge, look at us. We've done it all.

Woo-hoo. We've done it all and then some. Yeah, certainly. I'm going to throw it out there. What if I totally flipped the script right now? And we just started listening to the voice mail. I've even ended the show yet. Oh shit.

What if we started our voice mail segment right now? I don't know if I'm prepared for that. Would that fuck people up? I think people would stop listening to the show. I'll get multiple notices. I'll never listen again. You think people made it and now I'm gonna have to. This one?

Yeah, that's a good point. That's a good point. Someone who loved to like skim through and then let everyone else know. By the way, at two hours and 15 minutes in, they start doing voicemails. Remember last week when Kaya really came up with an amazing proclamation that Opie's podcast or Opie's voicem's voice mail segment were all scripted and pre-recorded by his friends because it seemed too easy. It seemed too well rehearsed. I've listened to these voice mails.

These people are stutterers. They can't fucking make a coherent thought. And these guys come out and they're like, love the show. You guys are amazing can't wait for next year I'm stoked you know I think we what kind of fucking voicemails that I'm happy to say that we now have scripted voicemails oh oh be radio awesome hey come this is me I'm a real person this is how I talk it just want to say your killing it Kai is killing it Kevin's killing it. Fuck even Doug is killing it That's an amazing boys. Oh, that's great. Yeah, that's fantastic

Here's another Scripted well, I mean not scripted one. This is just somebody explaining how I saved their life classic. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool.

Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool.

Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool.

Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. my life and it is hilarious. I am a real person who is not reading from a spright trip. Thank you for listening to me and continue being awesome as W-A-D-V. I am huge fan. That's awesome. All right, this is someone we did psychic Pebble show last week. Did you hear that Kroge Kai and I talking about our buddy? Yeah, psychic Pebbles. This is a voicemail reacting to that. Hey, Colonel. I'm a big fan, you know, found you out through the Dict show but I was listening to a recent episode you guys were doing I forgot who the fuck the podcast was but it was psychic pebbles yeah you guys yeah you're doing the podcast view of

psychic pebbles I basically found this other guy on YouTube called Mr. Canucks Pro who sounds exactly the same as psychic pebbles Look him up on YouTube. Mr. Canucks Pro is just like some dude in Canada who grows fucking pot But he's found the exact same as Psychic Pebbles holy shit. Sorry I didn't know this. Alright, it's very random. Okay great.

To say that somebody sounds like Psychophabas but anyway here is Mr. Kanox grow. Hey guys I'm Matt welcome back to Mr. Kanox grow. For this week's episode I'm harvesting the 3x2 out of flower grow. Gonna be chopping, drawing, trimming, and curing, and then I'm gonna weigh up the results to see how well the 200 watt Cree LED from Uniformed did. He's a little bit too coherent. Whoa!

But he does have a very goofy cartoon voice. So I'll give him that. Uh, this is another guy calling in because the official podcast gave all our voice mail number. This is a strategy for those boys. Hi there. I've never seen the show. I'm just calling because I'm a massive retard in the official podcast.

It's told me to. I was just really curious about how the voice feel about the current Israel versus Palestine debate. You know, some people have been calling Israel in that state. Some people have been saying Palestine should be encroaching on the territory, some people are saying that both sides are bad, that Palestine is just a religious and not community and that Israel is just some U.S.-backed militants. But hey, that's not for me to decide, That's for the edge floors on the official podcast this side. I mean, I don't know, I guess the other one's good too.

Hey, I'm added boys. What's the answer to the Israeli Palestinian conflict? And go. And if you could sum that up in under a minute, that'd be great. Thank you. Did you have a solution for that? Can you get that to us in 60 seconds or less?

This is, oh, this is a perfect voicemail. I knew it was calling in on the WATP voicemail line. This is how you do it right here. Hey, cousin Rue. Fucking great show this. We tie a kill. Baa. Nailed it.

Love it. Wow. Eight seconds in and out. Drops a couple of the fucking words you have to say like cousin room killed it All right, this next guy is not a fan of Kaya Hey Carl first time long time. I've been looking to show for a long time And I felt like I need to call in finally because you have this fucking Kyle or Sony on the podcast if you ever bring him on again I'm never fucking listen to the shit

Easy, buddy. I know that he just bitches and moans about everything and says oh you're old. He's old. Oh, I'm old Oh, everyone's too fucking old. He's just so goddamn annoying. Don't have him on anymore Or you're not gonna have me as a listener anymore Oh, there's a threat now hold on his issue is that someone was on your show and complaining What do you think this fucking show is dude? It's two hours of people complaining about bullshit every week What fucking show are you listening to dude? Don't fucking oh, sorry, didn't do me to blow your format We're trying to carefully disgu this as a review show. Oh yeah, right.

It's called constructive criticism. Hey Bert, do some prep before you interview someone for three fucking hours. They're not a fucking idiot. Constructive criticism. Yeah. Hey OP, a float dig is not scuba diving. Constructive criticism. I love the fact that these people, I know this guy's joking, but I love these people

If you do that again, I'll never listen to the show ever again. Guys, the podcast couldn't be more controllable I put in the description of every podcast who's co-hosting that week. It's not a surprise You see the name Kai in the description Skip that week. It's fine. Kai is awesome. Everybody loves Kai. I think I need to kind of week it's time. Kai is awesome. Everybody loves Kai. I think I need to Kai has so much of a fan base now that there has to be people who want to dislike them. Yeah, just to be the counter culture. It's how this works. Oh, sure. Yeah. I would imagine. All right. This next one is a guy who wants to sit here apart. Some indie podcasts. Hey, you fucker, Carl Carl. Hey just finished the show. It is a cold thing I've called

by three times today. It's got me four times. I do appreciate you picking on the bigger podcast. I am a small time podcaster myself but I posted a couple podcasts. The role of pinion twisted a lot of jokes and I've been on psychmob sund Sundays a bunch of times, but hey, why don't you start fucking with just, you know, for one week, just care for the indie podcast, bro. This guy is a podcasting, bro. I wouldn't classify you as that because you're fucking awesome. Good guy. So fucking point, dude. I don't want to fuck you the day for anything But it's fucking awesome, but please bitch Good night every pony call me back

Jesus fucking Christ so his whole thing was you could summarize it like four words. Yes You listen to a smaller podcast. Yeah, you should be a small podcast. His four minute voicemail was for fucking words. But that guy is a podcaster and I will tell you this as an indie podcaster just like you are. Yeah. Is don't consider yourself an indie podcaster, get better at it. Yeah, no shit. Don't use somebody fucking to worry.

Yeah, maybe get, you know, learn your way around the English language or something. I mean, just a thought. Just a thought. It's short to criticism, guys. Yeah. That's what the show is. All right. Can you tell him fucking hangry?

Who else is on that? Fuck you! What do you have to say? Go fuck yourself. I should mention real quick that Kroge is the other guitarist of the isotopes. He and I had a show last night at the dinosaur barbecue in beautiful downtown Rochester, New York. And we did not eat a fucking thing. That sucks. Yeah, so a lot of delicious food go by, but.

There was a ton of delicious food there, and I did not have any of it. Yeah. And this podcast, or this podcast, ha ha ha ha. This is the perfect segue into this, boys, Mal. Hey, girl, this is Melissa Ferrin. I just wanted to congratulate you on two episodes in a row now that you didn't mention your stupid fucking band. Nobody cares. Nobody likes that guy. You listen to the podcast and it seems like you would be irrational enough to know that most people don't like it when you're just constantly chopping your band we get it. I for to hope it's cute since since the reference.

Awesome. You don't care. And it was make sure to check out my band is a King of Hill parody band and it's called the propaniacs. I gotta get that to work. The propaniacs. I love that. That's pretty. Now this guy's got a serious point, but seriously go check out the ice The propaniacs. I love that.

Now this guy's got a serious point, but seriously go check out the ice tops on Spotify, YouTube, Facebook, I don't know, MySpaceFriends there or whatever the fuck you kids are into these days. We play all of Darks out of the moon in four minutes. Yeah, seriously. The time saver. Where are you going to get entertainment like that? You're not.

That's the point. Psychic Pebbles called the show. Carl. Hey Carl. I'm really, really adamantly upset about this mocked episode. When he goes as bad kid, his name is I will be the fucking name, you know. You know, you're a prick. I'm gonna go to the department. I'll see you show my skull.

I'm gonna find you. I'm gonna disappointed. I think it's so much fun. I'm fucking, I'm gonna find you. I'm gonna do unbeatable things, the schmucks is really, really freaking good dude. Oh, so, are they like, was that a phone smuggled into the asylum or like the The seventh grade detention room or what the fuck did we just listen to? Based on the production value that I think that was sucking pebbles. Okay. Yeah, it's too as it figured out how to use a microphone Wow, holy shit All right, here's another boy smile. This is someone who is obviously a Noah gender fan In the morning, I love the show. You're killing it.

Also, when is John C. Or it gonna be a guest? Good question. Let's do it. I'm here with C. Call me back. Bye. John C. DeVorick, if you're out there listening, my friend, there's no way he's making it this fire. It was not even close.

Not even close. John, I'm shit to do with this life. We're the sea. We're the sea sands for Callin' to W-A-T-P. John C. DuVorac. They'll be neat to have him on the show. Yeah, seriously. Here's a person who thinks that the caller's all suck.

Holy fuck, Carl. You want to know what I did today? If I can woke up, right? Get out of bed. Start getting ready for work. Back, fucking hurts already. Worked my way over to my car. Put on your fucking podcast.

Smart list. To the end of it, because of the other part on the way back from work the other day. Holy shit. Nobody who fucking calls on this line goes on a fucking speak car Carl. God damn it. Holy shit. Also, uh, it's okay.

I like it. All right. See. It's not that difficult. I think it's the point this guy's trying to make. Don't be black out drunk. Yeah. Wow.

No what you're going to say. Try to speak coherently into the fucking microphone of your phone. Speak into that. That is a big ask. I mean, really, when I think about the listenership of WATP, I'm assuming three quarters of them are black out, drunk, right? I mean, there's not a lot of sober ears here and this.

And I figure there's a non-zero percentage of people who are standing on the chair with the news around their neck. And they've got WATP, and they're they're like their moments away from ending it all but but then they go to deep discount dot com and they're like wait I can hold this on blue ray or dvd turns it all around turns it all around. Oh Carl hey I just want to say you saved my life man I was gonna my wife left me my kids don't talk to me but yeah the deals on deep discountiscount.com or unbelievable

I be stupid not to shop on this website save my life save my life Here is back to join people calling in all right My name's purple. Well, I am herbal Wanted to tell you guys Check out fucking cold one Some good shit. They get absolutely smashed and try try to interview people and and it doesn't end well Uh... Oh yeah, I do. Oh yeah, fuck it.

Yeah, yeah, bye. This person was over served. I think you found your next co-host. That guy... Look, I had something. Alright, dog, you're getting the boot. Yeah. The 26 best co-hosts.

I mean, you can't really describe it, but that's guys got it. That guy's got it. Here is an example of just a fantastic voicemail. Okay. Yes. Nailed it. All right.

Nailed it. That's obvious, sir. That's a great one. All right, last voicemail, I'm gonna play before I play the last one this is a message for kaya yo this guy recommended the mold dude i'm listening to episode one thirty six

and kaya seems like he's you know thinking that people are shooting on a person is somehow weird or autistic or whatever. Never let him know about KiwiFarms.net. He'll fucking shit his pants in rage, apparently, about that.. Like what the fuck? Yes, people shit on Ethan Klein because he's an unfunny asshole. I mean what the fuck? All righty then. I didn't follow that one. I don't know what the fuck is going on there So I just wanted to play that for Kaye. Maybe he can make all that

All right, Groge that brings us to We are off next week. No, what the fuck on Jesus man? Here's fucking 30 seconds of me teasing you. By the way, here's one of teasing. Nothing, go fuck yourself. We are off next week. I will be traveling to Columbus, Ohio to witness Anarchy Camp. Oh nice.

Yes, it's an Anarchy Camp week. I had no effects, rancid, pennywise, bad religion, the list goes on and on. Oh nice. That's what I'll be doing. That's what the boomers do. Yeah. They go see punk bands that were popular in the early 90s.

But the week after that will be back and I'm just gonna do Red Bar. People have been requesting it for years. The fuck is that? It is a show that was on Anthony Kumia's network for a minute. Okay. It got kicked off and then this guy devoted his life

to ripping on Anthony and apparently now he has some bride that he bought from Canada, who's a co-host on the show. And even the people who liked the show seemed to hate it. Hold on a second. He got a mail order bride. Da, da, da, from Canada? From what I read and read it?

Is that a thing? I don't know, I don't know if I can get this is true. What the fuck? I checked out this guy's show once for a second and I couldn't figure out what was going on. And there seems to be so much backstory to it. Okay. That I've been a little bit intimidated to do it,

but it's been requested now a number of times. To the point where somebody requested it and R subreddit, and their subreddit picked up and said, yes, you should rip out of this show. Say, all right. All right, there you go. Oh, an agreement on this. Then who am I?

Who am I to say no? Actually though, but Howard Stern told those guys that said, I don't fake Reddit accounts. Oh, did Howard said, how was it talking about fake Reddit accounts? Yeah, I don't, you's turned told those guys to set up fake Reddit accounts to tell you. Did Howard's been talking about fake Reddit accounts? Yeah, I don't, you know, that was a different meeting.

Yeah, don't have the audio from that. So that's going to be the episode that we do. I don't know, maybe I'll put out something. Oh, you know what I should do? It's a fucking five hour drive. Oh, God. I should just do a pot. I'll put my Zoom recorder with me.

Hold on. Hear me out on the train. No, no my Zoom recorder with me. Hold on. Hear me out. On the train. No, no, no, no, no. Hear me out because I think it'd be obnoxious if I did it in the car. Yeah. What about from the Mosh pit? So, now, right?

So you ain't got your fat bike yelling out some racial epiphets and having it there fucking moshin' with my Zoom. I might actually do that. Nice. I like actually do that. Nice, I like it. Alright, cool. So please, join us again in two weeks

because it might be an episode we'll be fighting out once and for all. Who are these podcasts? Sleep well, every pony. Starting in the must-vis of Morning Radio. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Morning.

Okay, great show. Good job, everybody. Good job, everyone. Good job, yeah. Okay, great show. Good job, everybody. Great job, everyone. What is this garbage? How does it have a podcast? This is pollution. You know, who are these? Paul, I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I don't know. I don't get it. Makes no sense. You fucking know all about this shit.

Bullshit. I should mention, we're trying to get Chrissy mayor on the show. Yeah. And there's some interesting things going on with her. Yeah. She was supposed to be on OP show and OP stood her up and then she was on Twitter talking about it. And then her and Carly were wee's were getting into it back and forth. So Chrissy's getting way more interesting all of a sudden. Yeah, no shit.

We got to get her on the show. I reached out to her today to try to set up a date. So that'll be fun to do. That's a weird podcast karma, because she stood you up and then. Yeah, there you go. Could you imagine, she stood me up, a show that people actually listen to. And then why did it be on OP-Shot? Ha ha ha ha.

Yeah, no shit. It's Chrissy, right? We got to have a little conversation here. Yeah. You're not understanding how this works. Ugh. Maybe OP can interview you from a float tank. Yeah, you guys can have a party.

Baby, if you guys can have a meditation party, it'll be great. Let's read some recent reviews. You haven't done this a little while. Ooh. How many one star reviews? 468. Ooh. One star reviews on iTunes.

Nice. They continue to rack up Samantha Riley 1990. Says, awful. One of the worst podcasts I've ever downloaded do not repeat my mistake one star. Ha ha ha. Ye Carl, Kaya Yon. Ah ha ha ha.

From G.A. Road. Ha ha ha ha. Carl, Glory Days in the Cemetery John Podcast was hilarious. I've caught up on most of your podcasts and loved them. However, Kaya sounds like he's just shot up his favorite drug. I've been around people deep into a K-hole sound more enthused. Love you guys, GA Rose. That's a five star review. So two people who dislike Kaya. This could be a movement. I'm seeing a little crowd is throwing. Tid 1979 Chris Hardwick and Brian Pusain sure I've gotten worse seriously though this show is terrible the jokes aren't funny the whole start interesting

and they do a horrible job at researching if I were them I'd quit and go back to my day job of complaining about Marvel movies and Star Wars while living in their parents' basement. Oh one one star review sick fucking burn to speaking of Star Wars. How fucking terrible is I got This this is a funny one this came in from telcom X and he says this cast The funny thing is that the suck starts in the subject line and continues after the body I like it. That's it, one star review.

Here's another one from Bob Conner. This is the authority on podcasts. Goddamn right. The host listen to other podcasts. Why they don't get it, play bits out of contacts, and then the punchline to their roast is a lame sound drop. How are these qualities authority on a podcast is good or not? I don't know, this guy sounded like he kind of wrapped it up, he kind of got the show. Oh, I mean

spreading some much-needed negativity from what made. In today's world of everyone must be happy and can't be criticized, this podcast is spreading some much-needed negativity. PS, hey Carl, what's with the Anthony guy in the opening? We're on the street as I do some panel. I'm sorry, review. All right, this one is insufferable. If I wanted to listen to the ramblings of a self-absorbed moron, I'd watch C-SPAN.

But as I five-star review. All right. Oh, this is funny. Never miss a joke. I caught myself doing this today. This is from Beeman300. The best thing about this podcast is when they play a clip of the podcast being reviewed

and you don't quite hear it, Carl will wildly repeat it for you every time. Yeah. I just want to make sure that we're all understanding how I understand it. I do that a lot. This next one is from Lou Cubix, their Cronium Phillips. W-A-T-P. Guys, we stayed up very late last night.

We're a little punch-stroke today. I am, I thought this was the deal. It's still wearing off, so yeah. W-A-T-Poo. Imagine broadcasting legends such as Rob Arnie, Don, Hewlett-Hausner, Wippy Goldberg, and naturally Nicole rolled into one podcast. That's W-A-T-P, riveting five stars.

I don't get that at all. I think I read it wrong. Don't you just one before 9 out of 10, marry me Andy. 9 out of 10, not enough Andy. I think Andy's from the Howard Stern, the Barthi Terps, who all. He's just setting up all these accounts. Oh, that's great. You know what people really want to hear is more Andy. Yeah.

All right. The tap to voicemail is just him disguising his voice. I'm excited to say, I'll tease this, Croge. I don't give a shit. You're talking about my mouth. Yeah. All right. The tap the voicemail is just him disguising his voice. I'm excited to say, I'll tease this, Croge. I don't give a shit. You're talking about putting fucking teasers out there. Here's a teaser for you. Our friend Kevin is gonna be returning to Rochester.

Hello. He's gonna be in town. Hello. He'll be performing with the isotopes at three heads brewing on June 7th. Goddamn right. And then the week after that, we're gonna get together and do a live, not a live.

An in-person podcast for the very first time in our lives. Yeah. We've never podcasts it together in the same room. Assuming he doesn't cancel on us. That's very possible. He'll be there in spirit either way. Yeah, yeah. Because it's gonna be a bunch of guys,

we have a whole new format we're gonna try out. It's gonna be a bonus episode guys. We have a whole new format we're gonna try out. It's gonna be a bonus episode. A bonus Roo. A bonus Roo, Epipu. That's been a long day. It's been a long, fucking day. All right, well, I think we've done enough. Let me just leave you with this,

and hopefully this helps the sky out. Hey, Carl. I was in the show every month and day. It just happened to be the day I do my grocery shopping. So I'm going to go ahead and read off my grocery list. And I always forget so he can play on the show. So I can remember what to get when I go grocery shopping. Next Monday, I need a loaf of bread, a couple of cartaggs. I can't remember getting the craft thing.

I get any other ones. I always kill me. Crafts, craft thing. I'm going to need a couple frozen keepers, chicken breasts, gotta get the all natural time, what's one that's gonna be healthy. I have to get some amacados. I got to get oranges. Let's start going out of bottle water to get some fresh water. Fuck man, red light. He's drinking the lead tap water.

Yeah. Okay. I understand. Yeah. Yeah. If you're on my plan this summer show next Monday or you can give me a call back and remind me. playing this on the show next Monday or you can give me a call back and remind me it's good. Holy fuck!