Who Are These Podcasts? - Ep194 - Basic Witches

Episode Date: February 23, 2020

This week we review a podcast hosted by witches and featuring guests who are either part-time witches or proponents of witches. As you may have already guessed, these are some dumb and broken women.  Cros joins the show this week to analyze the witches' psychological disorders, Stuttering John's legal threats, Sheamus and Carly's relationship, my inability to pronounce words correctly, and Whitney Cumming's terrible podcasting skills.  If you like the show, please support us: http://bit.ly/watp-patreon And yes, that picture is the wall in my basement that I referenced. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Slapperoonie. I have a small penis and I'd pump once and be done now Kirk Douglas is dead and my career is dead W-A-T-P! W-A-T-P! Hello, back slappers and cuzzle ruse, welcome to another episode of Who Are These Podcasts. The only show that pisses off has been every single week. I'm your host, Carl. With me this week, it's not Jen from the Jiggles Department. It's fan favorite, Crows.

Hello! Welcome back to the show, Crows. Oh, thank you so much for having me. I'd like to remind people to go to whoarethese.com and get our email address, voicemail number, link to the subreddit, link to the discord server, link to our merchandise, and of course, the link to our Patreon, which is patreon.com slash,

who are these podcasts. We just recorded a brand new bonus episode this past week that I'll be releasing later today. Actually, you're after we finish recording the show. Dick and I listen to zoo files. We listen to a zoo feel a podcast. How is that? Terrible. And lightning. Terrible. We encourage our listeners to give us a five star review on iTunes or wherever you give reviews and then shoot all over us in the comment section. Unfortunately, Vic will not be here today to read reviews. She just informed me of this a minute ago.

She has a one year old's birthday to go to. They're not going to remember. Seriously. It's fucking stupid. You're going to miss WATP for a one year old. If I had any respect for Vic, it is now God. Today, Croix and I will be reviewing a podcast called basic witches. This is a suggestion that came in from birdie, who's a Drew and Michael listener. We have both listened to the show separately. We have not discussed it with each other beforehand. Well, let's get into it. This is a podcast hosted by Leah Knauer and Rachel LaForest.

And Cros, we listened to a very specific episode, one with a stand-up comedian named Adrian Earhart. And I don't know that she's actually a comedian. I didn't hear anything funny. Yeah, it's a lot of her. No laughter going on. She's got the baggage part down, it's good every comedian needs. I didn't hear the joke part though.

Yeah, oh boy. Oh, let's use it. Since you have a lot of clips here, it's good every comedian needs. I didn't hear the joke part though. Yeah, oh boy. I'll let you use it. You have a lot of clips here. Sum up the show for us. You got a clip that sums up this podcast. I do. I actually, I listened to two episodes because they had another episode

where they had Pro Witch Haley Cole. I listened to that one too. Good. I didn't even coordinate. We have much to talk about. We do. So I got an opening salvo for you. Here's three in a row.

My first three. This series is called What's Your Sign? So my number one is like, that's an easy question to answer and last year these people. What is your sign? What are your signs? So I'm talking to you. I'm a cancer and I'm a son sign. And then I have like four or five points in Gemini.

Oh, wait, is your birthday June 20th? No, my birthday is July 7th. Oh, okay. Yeah, because I'm a Gemini Cancer Cusp, which I sounded like you would have been, but okay, we're still. So I'm a Gemini Cancer Cusp with six moons in unicorn and two marcaries and retrograde.

It's like, yeah, it's a whole thing. Wait, is your birthday January 1st? No, it's actually September 11th. I'm sorry. Wait, no, this makes any fucking sense. Or make it all up. Oh, okay. But see, your sign means everything. Here's number two. This is what a sign is. My cancer is signed and then a Gemini moon and a Gemini rising. And then like two or three other things in Gemini. So I like to talk.

It's a girl. Yeah. You could have just said you had a vagina. Yeah, exactly. I would have understood. Now, normally I'm silent, but because I have two planets in Gemini, that's why I like to talk. But my all-time favorite one is... I know you're following this better than I was. I have no idea what they're talking about.

I was wrapped in attention. There were parts of this I was so fascinated by. And I'll tell you what, I feel like I'm kind of the expert, Mark, because this, these, first of all, it's three of the exact same women sitting around the table. Yes. And these women are, I'm gonna say, 46% of the online dating community, because I've taken this exact person out to dinner and sat across from Mediterranean food

and listened to this bullshit at least four separate times of my life. But number three, what is it, what else do signs do for you? Especially because I'm a Gemini, I love information, I love being on top of things, and so I love checking Twitter the first thing in the morning to see what's trending, see what people are talking about.

No, that's not true. You check Twitter the first thing in the morning because you're a fucking dopamine addict like every single other person on the fucking line. It doesn't sound like what she was born, what do you mean? I mean, if that were the case, would the other 11 signs not check for the first thing in the morning?

No, they jump on fucking Instagram and start posting, we'll go up like this selfies. Like that's, that's- Wait, which side uses Instagram? I'm writing down notes over here. I'm not following completely. It depends how many cancers you have in your Scorpio. Gotcha.

That makes sense. Yeah. Can we talk about this woman Haley is on here? Yes, because she speaks to People's guardian angels. She sure does. She says that everybody has guides. Oh, yes. Yes And she's able to connect with these guides and then give you information Mm-hmm from these guys. So this is just to set that up a little bit. They're talking to Rachel or no, this is Leah's guides and she a little bit. They're talking to Rachel. Or no, this is Leah's guides.

And she needs to get in touch with them first. Okay, I'm gonna do you first. Okay, they will tell me who they are, but first they have messages. So I'm feeling a lot in the heart area for you. And they're like, she does this such a good job of like meditating and staying silent and like really trying to stay grounded.

But what they really are, she want you to do is focus on expanding her heart a little bit. That's, that's, I don't know. Well. Yeah, so it's literally. I don't know. Well. Yeah. So it's literally like a horoscope reading. Yeah. You know, I have a whole generic nonsense.

You can say to anybody in any time. You know, and I have a whole bunch right in a row of the psychic readings that I can't wait to get into, but I would love to save it for a minute. Sure. Did you guys have an else you wanted to hit? Can we talk about, well, let's talk about witchcraft. Like these are basic witches.

Right. They're guest Adrian that you were talking about the stand of comedian. Yes. She has cast spells before. Oh, she has, yes. In my number 14, she's going to tell you what spell she cast and what effect it had.

And then you'll be sold. Yeah. And I was like casting spells and trying to like, you know, harm none, do what you will and feel good. And still amazing. So do you see your spells work? Yeah, I did. What did you do?

What kind of spells? I cast a spell on a friend for awareness. Oh. I guess, to a permission first. And she got out of a bad relationship because she was able to see like, oh, that this is a person that's not good for me. And she got out of a bad relationship because she was able to see like Okay So

She has magical powers correct. She is able to cast magic spells on people Yeah, and the magic spell that she cast was she turned to her friend and said excuse me But I think you're in a really bad relationship and with your permission I would like to cast a spell on you so that you leave your bad relationship Yeah, and then the woman left her bad relationship and with your permission I would like to cast a spell on you so that you'll leave your bad relationship. Yeah. And then the woman left her bad relationship. Boom. Proof positive.

Proofs. Yeah. Absolutely. Because no one's ever dumped their boyfriend before. It must have been witchcraft. Especially if he's abusive. I mean, right. Whichever leave a situation like that. Proof, dude. I'm so.

I'm all in. I did that exact same clip. Of course. Because everyone out here talks about witchcraft. I don't think they understand what witchcraft is. I just want to move me. So maybe I have no idea. Yeah.

Because they even taught, they ask her if she still practices witchcraft. Yeah. I have to. You're still practiced like witchcraft? Occasionally. I definitely do like the thoughts and the manifestations. That's witchcraft?

Yeah. So she thinks about things and tells herself she's great. And that's semi-pride to say witchcraft. Yeah, and I hope I'm not selling anything. She even says specifically if I'm driving by an accident, I will think good thoughts. I'll send good vibes to those people. That's witchcraft.

These women have so little going on in their lives and they have to make up all the shit about themselves. Yeah. One of the women claims to be clear-voyant. Yeah, even though she fails miserably at it. And this is one of those tricks that you could always get away with. I mean, we all know how this works.

You say something very generic in general and you're able to move it in any direction and eventually say, oh, it's like, yeah, that is me. Yeah, she fucking swings and misses on this one. A piece of candy popped into my mind, like old-fashioned, like a, you know how candy wrappers have like that on the side, the triangles in the circle. Does any of that mean anything for something sweet

or like, is it a candy? I don't like candy. I don't know what that is. OK, maybe we'll find out when we draw. I used to draw candy. I don't know what that is. Okay, maybe we'll find out when we draw. I used to draw candy. I don't know. I'm practicing telling people when I get images. Because I'm clairvoyant, so it may be something.

Yeah. I think you might not be clairvoyant there, Dabby. Yeah, that is a swing and a miss right there. She literally says, because they're doing a tarot card reading. Yeah. And she's getting a vision and she says, oh, I'm picturing candy and then when she doesn't get

the reaction, she's like, or something sweet. Like the most generic thing ever. Like, my grandfather was really a sweet guy. That's it. That's the vision I was getting. She couldn't get anything connecting there at all. Well, it amazing.

Imagine going there like, did you use the candy when you were a kid? Right. Whoa. How could anyone possibly know that? I got free you use the candy when you were a kid? Right. Whoa. How could anyone possibly know that? I got free Halloween candy every year when I was a kid. So maybe that's what it is. So can I throw a few at your car that are a psychological profile I've assembled.

Now, as I mentioned, this is in both episodes I listened to three of the exact same person sitting around a table. This first one is kind of a compilation, but it's called, these women are fucked. It's my number four. When I was in rehab, it was like the day that I got into a super taxing relationship. And I stayed in that for like five years.

I developed like an eating disorder and I had like really bad depression and anxiety. I got like put on academic probation with I definitely like leaned more towards alcohol. I had a really fun night at Yukon one time. Yeah, I threw up in a Jasmine costume. So and God bless these ladies because the world needs them. But these are the drunken rehab flunk and out of college girls who were covered in slutty costumes and covered in puke. Like it's this whole image,

like they've all been in rehab, they have these horrifying traumas. These women are disasters. Oh, absolutely. And then we're gonna add and look, I'm not making light of this, I'm not making jokes about it, but they spend a lot of time on it.

So let's talk about it, cause it's a very important part of their profile. They're in the middle of one of the readings and one of the hosts starts crying and then this exchange happens. That's my number five That's energy that I've worked on how to be better about through like rounds of therapy and things, but it's just I'm falling back into it. Yeah, and I totally understand I and because you were assaulted, right? Yeah, I'm so sorry I've been assaulted too, so I I totally understand where you're coming from So everyone around the table victim of horrifying sexual assault and that's that sucks Here's number six. This is Adrian talking about it probably every witch in history probably was raped at the point

Yeah Yeah, and I know it's impossible to hear through the vocal fry But what she says there is every which in history has been raped and What is going on here in my personal humble opinion? Yeah, these are people who are having a hard time to begin with We've got addiction. We've got childhood trauma that they talk about. We got all this shit We add in some horrifying sexual psychological trauma and these are people who are grasping so hard psychological trauma. And these are people who are grasping so hard to be special to have something to believe in because if you can believe that these magic stars and the essential oil and the magic crystal are gonna save you and

heal you and help you sleep at night and fade off the flashbacks and the nightmares and all the symptoms of PTSD. Yeah. Like they're they're trying so fucking hard to be special. Proch, they're professional victims. Oh my God. They can't wait to talk about how they were victimized, who victimized them, what it's done to them, how they're having their journey to somehow come back from it. Because I don't know if you know this,

but my car got broken into when I was 22 years old. I had no effects, he stole it right out of my car. I'm still getting over it. Yeah. Well, and I would ask you How did you heal from that Carl? My number 15. Yeah, okay. This is crazy. They ask Adrian. Yeah. Now now listen Carl It's tough. It's tough to talk about right now I'm asking you this honestly because Carl you're known for many things your musician you're a podcaster But you're known among the people who know and love you

for your compassion. Correct. And so, the compassionate guy all they call me. Exactly, yeah, that's what we all call you to. I mean, that's how you sign your birthday card. It's, you know, so my number 15, they ask Adrian, how did you overcome your sexual assault? I don't have any rape triggers, fortunately.

That's good. I've like weird emotional stuff. Man, ask how I'm good. Man, ask how you like came back from that personally, spiritually, you know? I mean, what had sex with him again. Really? Of my volition. Now again, they're all talking over each other,

but what she said was I overcame my rape by having sex with him again. You know what this reminded me of? Go ahead. Adam Kroll all used to talk about the victim when a female teacher in high school would have sex with a student. And he would say, if a crime is committed

and the victim jerks off to that crime, there is no victim in this case. I don't know if that released to this at all. I'm just throwing it out there. It's kind of connected in my head. Well, now this is troubling on a lot of levels, and I'm the last guy that you talk about this. But so she's saying the best way to overcome your rapist

who sleep with your rapist, then she says number 16 in my fucking head explodes. I married that guy. Wow. That was the first. Wow. It was like Stockholm, syndrome-y. Yeah. When he was regretful.

And she married the guy. Yeah. And then it turns out, and hold your breath, hold on your seat. Yeah. He was a terrible guy. He abused her, he cheated on her. No, she didn't. Now, I know it's tough to like, you know,

you're going to marry a guy who rapes people. And then you're like, wait a second, he's not a good guy, but he's the guy that rapes me. How could he not be a good guy? If only there was a warning sign. And my question you Carl, am I fucking missing something? These people are so stupid. They're looking for answers, and all you have to do is look at themselves and go, by making good decisions in life, you're not. That's crazy. I want to talk about Adrian because she's very proud of the fact that she's a slut now. Yeah, a lot of talk about Dick. I froze my eggs and I just started fucking.

Did it all. Yeah. And like, you want to get over someone get under someone else's. So, that's been awesome. I forgot that there's other dick out there. She's got the, she's got the, she's got the, she's got the, she's always got the, she's got the, she's got the,

she's got the, she's got the, she's got the, she's got the, she's got the, she's got the, she's got the, she's got the, she's got the, she's got the, she's got the, she's got the, she's got the, she's got the, she's got the, she's got the, she's got the, she's got the, she's got the, she's got the, she's got the, she's got the, she's got the, she's got the,

she's got the, she's got the, she's got the, she's got the, she's got the, she's got the, she's got the, she's got the, she's got the, she's got the, she's got the, she's got the, she's got the, she's got the, she's got the, she's got the, she's got the, she's got the, she's got the, she's got the, she's got the, she's got the, she's got the, she's talk about, she's just broken up with this guy and everyone knows these people, they have personal relationships so they're talking about shit. I don't know what they're talking about. Oh yeah, that guy and I always with that girl. Oh yeah, I know that girl. But you're like, okay, no one knows you're talking about. So she explains that her ex wronged her. I know who he's with. I know her very well. And I know what he did to me. And I don't want to think about it.

But then, previously, she talked about how she got into the relationship and completely changed. We had agreed when we got married to not have kids. And then kind of changed my mind about that. And I didn't really say it a lot, but like he could feel it. So you were married to a guy that you would agree not to have children with. Then you decided you did want children, didn't talk about it with him.

Just held this belief, held it over him. I think maybe you're the fucking problem, dummy. You have a shitty thing to do. Yeah. I'm not saying you can't change your mind dummy. That's a shitty thing to do. Yeah. I'm not saying you can't change your mind, but maybe talk through it a little bit. You mean communication should be part of a mature relationship?

I'm just throwing it out there. I mean, or they can have a tarot card reading or whatever they do to communicate with each other. I don't know exactly what that is. I had just one last thing about this Adrian woman, because not only is she a slut, she's also a big weed head. Yes, she does, I just said weed head.

I've never used that term before in my life. I was looking down at my, the name I clipped it as says weed. I think she did like three marijuana. I know, I'm just a weed head. Watch out for this girl, she's a big weed head. Fuck me, but she's even terrible at being a druggy Because I've never heard this advice before. I'm just making sure that you have Batch testing in here. That would be great. Oh tell us more about that. You know, I'm in cannabis. Yeah

You shouldn't smoke things that don't have a certificate of analysis and test results. What the fuck kind of advice is that? Don't smoke shit dogs certificate of analysis? I have a message for the kids out there. Smoke drugs, figure it out later. Yeah. Whatever happens to you, you'll figure it out later. It's fine. If they can't go through life, we're going to put it in the chemical, you put your body,

you just got to push through. So certificate of analysis. I can't imagine asking my drug dealer for that. You put your body, you just gotta push through. So, typically I'm a nailist. I can't imagine asking my drug dealer for that. I think he'd be pretty offended. That's the pedigree on this campus. He's like, you and I both know that it's mostly baby laxative, I just fucking take the baggy.

Go home. So anyway, I found that to be shocking. That is magnificent, it's terrible advice. There's so much bad advice, go I got in here. Oh, oh my goodness. But then there's also a really good practical advice to going back to our friend, Haley Cole. And when it says pro-witch, does that mean

that she's a professional witch or that she's for proponent of witcher? She's a proponent of witcher, okay, thank you. I wasn't sure what that meant, but she does that's a really good advice here. You can show you do like a shock or clearing meditation every day and all imagined to you like every day of light coming from up above me

and like through my ground chakra and throughout all of them and it actually goes out of me and into the earth's core. So it's like re-grounding me and the energy's always flowing. So doing something like that, that's like a quick thing that you can do every, every Monday. Running. So that makes sense.

I just have one question for you, Kroche. What the fuck is she talking about? What the fuck is that being? You didn't follow that? I didn't follow any of that. She's using words I've never heard before. The fuck is going out on this show. Oh, yeah, it's amazing how much made up bullshit can be crammed into one thing. Yeah, and it's

funny too because they start off the show. They're talking about how they're going to do a tarot card reading. Yeah, for everyone. Yes, wait there in the show. I enjoyed that. Which is amazing because if you think about the psychics that do tarot card readings there's a stigma there that they're just stealing your money right and it's weird to me that there could even be a tarot card reading for the entire audience yeah they do they do it and they put that information right next to asking for money on Patreon yes and we had an awesome card pull and want to remind everyone that whenever you're listening to this is divine timing,

so the card pull is for you too. And we've got a lot of other good stuff for you too if you become a patron. It just seems like core timing, doesn't it? It just seems like a bad time to talk about. I love each you so that it's divine timing. Like at least when Dion Warwick was running in a 900 number back in the day

There at least be somebody that are asking for your birthday and that kind of shit Yeah, like this is like no whenever you press play that is the goddess of the earth telling you that this is the time that you can hear it And that's why it's meeting you. Yeah, I mean spirituality definitely comes through an MP3 file. Oh, yes That you download on your phone and it plays through Bluetooth through your car stereo. Oh, yeah. That makes perfect sense. Because at the end of the episode with Haley, she actually does a fucking horoscope reading for the entire audience. At least with the horoscope, you're one out of twelve. Yeah. With this, it's just like anyone listening to this. This is specifically for you. Yeah. So a lot is this is actually kind of cool. So a lot of people around this time might be feeling like it's kind of

groups too. Some people might be feeling like a lot is falling into place and they're really excited, but they're scared a little bit. Work through the fear. That's a big thing. I love this shit, man. Just say like multiple emotions. You're happy, but you're also a little bit fearful, but you're excited, but you're upset. Yeah. Am I talking to you, Crows? Oh my god. Oh, you're following this? It's like you've been reading my diary. Yeah, I have. It's actually Crows just blinded at EDU.

Can't get enough of it. Yeah. It's popular sight. So since we're on this vein, Carl, I got a whole bunch of the road on Lee Shiong Yasi, I apologize in advance. So pro which Haley called does a reading for the other two concerts at the table. Let's start right at number seven. And so right now you have one foot, they're showing me like one foot going and then one that's like almost in the past and then you're trying to bring it forward. Oh my gosh. So they really want you to focus on just letting that go because Justin is like, just in therapy.

Can I interrupt the guys? Just in therapy this week, we were talking about how sometimes I'm one foot in and one foot out of things. Oh my god, that's so crazy. And then you say that. That's so crazy. So the woman who's in therapy for severe PTSD is talking to the other women who are both in therapy for severe PTSD. And somehow something came up that's common to people who have this disorder and are in therapy for it. They have one foot in, they have one foot out. Now somehow the guys knew that. That's just divine intervention Carl. There's no nothing underhanded here. Number eight, they talk about this.

You got to have one foot in and two fingers in your rapist. And so they really want you to focus on this beautiful new wave that's coming in. That feels like a better fit. Does that make sense? Yes, and I feel that. And we've had several witches tell us for basic witches at least,

that like around April, springtime is supposed to, so I've been expecting spring to already be like exciting. Now, so these people who are all super public about witchcraft and Wicca and all that fucking happy horseshit where the change of seasons, specifically the spring and the equinox is the biggest event in the entire year. Somehow, the spirits predicted that this would be a big time for these people who make this holiday that they've invented. The biggest fucking holiday

ever and it's like six millennial old. Okay. So much in their defense. It sounds like a lot of things are lining up over here. Maybe they actually know what they're talking about. Maybe. Maybe they're not like shameless contradicting themselves off to the right. Yeah. Maybe there's actually something to this and we need to look a little bit further. And then we keep going. Here's number nine. More but now they really want to focus you to focus on the way that you feel about yourself and your thought process about yourself because it's a very inward game that you need to play now. Totally. Oh, this is another thing I talked with my sister about. Totally. Oh, this is another thing I talked with my sister about.

You don't say shock it. So the three people who are undergoing cognitive behavioral therapy are getting advice from the gods to use the techniques of cognitive behavioral therapy. Holy fucking shit. I'm fucking shocked. Then number 10. I'm sold. And don't even tell me that the gods wouldn't know this car because they would know it. But they don't want you to do as To roll over and that and like look at your phone. That's what I do Which is something I do too. Yeah, so it's a message for a lot of people So this woman has tapped into the ancient Wicken gods and goddesses from millennia past and their advice is Don't look at your phone right Right, thanks a fucking lot.

You don't think that that's true? Now I got three in a row here that I fucking love, man. Well here's bad guys number one. Like an opportunity that's right in front of your face. Does that, no, what if that opportunity wants to like? Okay. Swigging a mess.

Yeah, I know again, the most generic bullshit, you could have made up anything. Yeah, you're doing a podcast as an opportunity, someone might, let's do it. Yeah, that could be an opportunity. No, it's waiting a minute. So I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. Here's number 12. Now I'm getting about meeting you like in, are you and I trying to be virtual together

right now in some sort of astral? What? Are you doing that right now and some sort of astral. What? Are you doing that right now? No. Oh. Just a bit outside. Are you trying to be virtual with me right now? And the other woman says, ha, ha, no.

What the fuck are you talking? Yeah, how would what do you even do something like that? What do you mean? I think they were getting on in the spiritual plane or at least the one woman thought, so don't know here's number 13. I am being very open to a relationship right now, so I think it may have something oh, so that's crazy because right before you said that there you go. It was a guy. It was a guy in like a black suit. So somebody dressing up you're like looking for someone who cares about

how they appear and you're not ashamed about that. You want some looking care fancy man. I guess. I know that. But he can have a talk song. So Jesus Christ, just go log with that. And I know it's hard to fall because they all talk over sugar to podcast. Just go log with that. But the one broad says, you know, I'm open to a relationship and the reader goes, oh my God, that's so funny. Right before you said that, I got this signal from the other side and you're looking for a guy that dresses nice and the other woman goes,

what? No, what? Which is the most scenario should ever. Holy shit. Why would you just say, yeah, that would be great. What the fuck? I mean, I could go with a fashion sense. I mean, these women fail at witchcraft and improv.

Right. They can't do any of this. Yes and, dummy. Oh my God. At least pretend that your guest knows what the fuck they're talking about. Sorry, there you go. If you're all gonna play a log in this fucking spiritual nonsense. If we're all pretending the crystals are magic, then fucking pretend the crystals are magic

and get, say, yeah, of course it's exactly what I'm looking for. So not only does Hailey tap into the guides of not just the two hosts of the show, but also all of the listeners. Yeah. But she actually reveals who those guides are because, Croge, if we all have these guardian angels, of course, I'd like to know who's watching me jerk off every morning. Yeah. Yeah.

Just so I can like give a nod or something. So I thought this was interesting because you were talking about spirituality and kind of like Eastern bullshit and, and you know, obviously these types of philosophies go back to pagans and go back many, many, many. And she reveals who the members are on Rachel's team. Okay. So they, you have Jesus very heavily on your team.

I don't know how really just, but he's having a steep feel about being on there. Uh oh. He's actually a lot cooler than people. Okay. Okay. He's a bad rap. Yeah, he gets a bad rap.

He's cool. But he's on there. He actually, I'm gonna pause it. I'll put, I'll put, pick it up in a second. Jesus gets a bad rap. Yeah. I'm only talking about people praise him every day not stop.

Lily steps in heavily when when people go through assault. Really? Because he's such a sacred masculine presence and he's so good with healing work. And so he steps in pretty heavily. And then Archangel Michael's on your team pretty heavily too and and what is he symbolize again? Archangel Michael and Jesus are her guardian angels are they just fucking pulling from everything that such bullshit made a thing ever invented? It's so fun focus on what thing? Yeah, I had a bunch of those and left them out, but then Yeah, they start naming all these other Greek goddesses and there's a hollows in there. Jesus, it's like you get in the bull plague in this game. We'll put again. You, you are so special. You are so special that

Jesus follows you every day, along with all these fucking gods that we read about in all these books that we pass around to each other. It's a good point. It's, yeah, it's, it's a whole thing. You are the fucking light. You are the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, I had so much trauma untreated that I was just angry all the time. I still kind of am. It reminds me of that Mitch Hedberg joke. I used to do drugs. Still do, but I used to too. This woman is a disaster. Also in that interim, I was getting off of an anti-psychotic that they put me on right

after my step-dead died. And I didn't wean off of it. I abruptly stopped it and nearly killed myself. I don't know if that was in that superclip that you did, but there are so many things this woman says, they're just the reddest of red flags. Oh yeah. I mean, you're talking about the first date, holy shit. Oh, she, and she talks about the abuse she got from her parents, the abuse she got from

her friends parents. I mean, it's a non-stop fucking train wreck that never cruisier. You'll be shocked to know that she has daddy issues on top of the list. My friends are having fun without me. Fuck them. I'm happier here. You're punishing yourself.

And I get that from my father. And I feel that it me that I want that. Because he does that to himself. And he did that to me. He's just super depressed. I don't really know him very well. He's super depressed. And he just lives in Florida being weird doing the same thing every day.

And I make sure that I don't even order the same thing when I go to a restaurant. That's how badly I don't want to be like him. That is the definition of daddy issues. Yeah. She doesn't even know this guy, but changes her behavior just to show him that I'm not like you, dad.

Yeah. I love the chicken wrap, but I'm not getting that this time. Oh yeah. And I learn those traits from someone who spent zero time with me as a child Right, I get that from my dad Yeah, yeah, what's the personality thing you idiot and meanwhile maybe doing the same thing every day is what you fucking need honey Yeah, like maybe try getting some discipline some some actual fucking reason for being in your life Maybe strive towards something bigger than yourself or no just

sit and fucking rub a sense of oils on your forehead and pretend you got a third eye they can see the spiritual world I mean either one's fine. These women talk about Patreon a lot and dominating to the show and I watch their Patreon video they need money. Is that why there's tissues everywhere in lotion? Yes. They are in a bath tub together. They need money and you gotta donate to their cause. But they find ways to save money, which I think is frugal and important. This is their intro music.

["Basic Wee-Jay"] ["Basic Wee-Jay"] I mean, we're witches. Basically. Fucking thing, suck! That's not, that's not, that's not just doing that. I mean, where my chest? Basically fucking thing That's not that's not that I'm just doing that That's a recorded version that he used to be getting up every single episode. Yeah, they're like we got it That's good now that that's our intro. Yeah, you ever heard of it instrument

Well, when you're that much of a natural you can just take the first take and you're good to go. Yeah, that's a good point Pack it rap and ship it. That's good to go. Yeah, that's a good point. Pack it, wrap it, ship it, that's good to go. I love how fucking crazy this Haley Cole person is. Because when she just starts talking, she says things. For example, she literally admits that she has voices in her head. This one god named Lou, he's been there a lot. Lou.

Lou. Lou. Lou. Apollo stepped in recently for me too. And then Macchiesel Deck is always someone who's on my team. And then I have Lakshmi. She's very heavily with me a lot. Aphrodite, I love her. Do they all have different voices? So to me, I kind of hear my own voice, but sometimes it changes.

Lady, you're not supposed to have voices in your head. Well, that's even better though. I hear my own voice in my head, so it must be ancient. God, it's obviously Apollo. It's not my inner monologue, that's silly, that's crazy. The God of War is in my head for some reason. Oh, what the fuck? And she even goes on to explain that she's beyond this planet in this world. Oh, I open up every once in a while

if I'm feeling a little, like I'm slipping, that makes any sense. Or if I'm getting to, in my human, or if I'm worrying about things, then I'll take some time and just like focus and reconnect and ask kind of what's going on. I've never heard in my human. I wasn't gonna comment on that too. That's so funny. It's like you're actually an alien.

It's almost like they just realized that all of this is fucking nonsense. Yeah. And that this woman is a bullshitter, except for they didn't. Except for they've learned nothing from this. There's even a point, and I let this on the cutting floor as well, and she's like, oh yeah, when I do something that's really woo-woo, I'll go and clean the house or something like, well, yeah, because you know

you're fucking crazy, and you're like, well, any other people are gonna even tolerate my existence. I better do something for fuck. The shit that they talk about in this show, and I'm not exaggerating. When Alex Jones talked about taking LSD to talk to aliens in San Francisco, I believe that's more probable and plausible.

Yeah. Than anything this woman is making up about spirit guides and goddesses who are there to help guide us through life. You mean given the choice of clockwork elves who dictate our entire reality? Correct. And I need to latch out of this. Jesus and Mohammed following this one woman around to help her fucking talk to the gods. Well she stares at Twitter every morning. Right. You'd pick the clockwork out. Of course I wouldn't you. I'm

with you. I'm with you. I'm with you. I'm with you. I'm with you. I'm with you. I'm with you, I know. I'm with you, I know. I'm with you, I know. I'm with you, I know. I'm with you, I know. I'm with you, I know. I'm with you, I know. I'm with you, I know. I'm with you, I know. I'm with you, I know. I'm with you, I know. I'm with you, I know.

I'm with you, I know. I'm with you, I know. I'm with you, I know. I'm with you, I know. I'm with you, I know. I'm with you, I know. I'm with you, I know. I'm with you, I know. I'm with you, I know. I'm with you, I know.

I'm with you, I know. I'm with you, I know. I'm with you, I know. I'm with you, I know. I'm with you, I know. I'm with you, I know. I'm with you, I know. I'm with you, I know. I'm with you, I know.

I'm with you, I know. I'm with you, I know. I'm with you, I know. I'm with you, I know. I'm with you, I know. I'm with you, I know. I'm with you, I know. I'm with you, I know. I'm with you, I know. I know. I'm with you, I know. I'm with you, I know. I that's already fucking nonsense. They say, can you do this? She's like, sure. Right there. She'd be like, so then you're just making all this up. But he's pretending to not make it. But I love that she has to ask for specific information in order to get this correct. Would you be able to give like our listeners, whenever this comes out in a couple of weeks, say like, I don't know if you can intuit this or ask the guys, but any collective energy they might need to hear about., say like, I don't know if you can intuit this or ask the guys, but any collective energy they might need to hear about.

Oh, yeah, I can. Okay, awesome. Is it coming out the second week of February, do you think? Uh, something around that. Yeah. She's, she's gonna talk to all of the guides of all of the listeners, but wait, when's this show coming out? I gotta be specific about the date here. Is it the AM or the PM of February 18th?

Because that's gonna change the collective energy reading about to get it's like dummy. We're not falling for it It's gonna come out in never no one's gonna hear it. Whatever. Because it's shit. Yeah, fucking stupid What else do I have on the board? Are you all done with clips? I got two more of these ladies that I'd love to play for. Okay, great. My number 17. Yeah, I got this too. Yeah, this is just some hard evidence, Carl.

I mean, I was thinking about that while driving the other day. Just how nature is so powerful and how it's interesting, we all pretty much agree she's a she, mother nature. And yet, then we made up, or humans made up, like a man in the sky to try to be beyond that. But like what we truly know, like what we have evidence for the most powerful being we know, is mother nature. And it's a fucking woman.

Pussy is God. Well, that's retarded. Now, what they said there, the invisible man in the sky, that's a made of bullshit. The invisible woman in the earth, well that we have evidence for, Carl. Yeah, that's what we know. That's what we know to be true. That's amazing. We know Mother Nature is female.

Well, no, it's just a word we use, Mother Nature. What the fuck? But we know it's feminine. What? The masculine energy in the sky. That's just a mean of bullshit That's that was hilarious. I had the same clip of course. They're so stupid see the Yim is totally real the Yang is absolutely false It's like the concept of heaven. It's only good. There's nothing bad. Yeah. Oh, okay

That makes sense. Yeah, of course that exists But I do love that this woman who only practices witchcraft from time to time is very excited to be hanging out with other witches. What do you, what's happening? I have a breakdown. Because I haven't been around like other witchy power. Yeah.

And I feel so connected right now. And like you're right. And this is yeah So by hanging out with other witches and feeling witchy power Do you mean hang out with idiots and talking about nonsense? Yeah, I guess that adds all the show I think that's exactly what you means and I just want to play they have a fucking ad read They're terrible at ad reads, And there's something specific about this. They're bugs the shit out of me,

and I'll talk about after we hear it. Help, help, I need help reading this ad. Leah, it's better help. Oh, is there something interfering with your happiness or preventing you from achieving your goals? Yeah, that's why we have this podcast. Exactly, life. We all need a little bit of help Yeah, that's why we have this podcast. Exactly. Life. We all need a little bit of help.

And that's where better help comes in. That's better help. H E L P. They had a spell the word help. She goes help. Help. Oh, it's actually for a think of better help. Oh, is that why I was saying help?

Wait, what were we talking about? Oh, H L P. We know we got it. Why do they spell that? Use the promo code OP. That's OP I E. Wait, what were we talking about? Oh, H-E-L-P. We know, we got it. Why did they spell that? Use the promo code OP, that's OPIE, OP. We know how to spell four letter words, everybody. Stop it with that. And I mean, talk about a targeted ad.

Every person listening in this for real needs a heavy dose of therapy. I mean, it's probably listening to this on their way home. I'm gonna go get it. I'm gonna go get it. There really is good. So good. I'm gonna go get it. Thank mean, it's probably listening to this on their way home. So, thank you. Thank you, ladies. Thank you. I agree. Here's my last one, Carl. This is number 18, and I want you just for a second. Just for one second. Imagine a partner actually saying this to you.

Number 18. I told my man I want to be thanked every single time after we have sex because I'm the one carrying the load of preventing a baby from happening. I want to be thanked after sex. Are you fucking kidding me? I'm the one pulling out and shooting on your face asshole. Yeah really? Why are you thanking me?

I was trying not to get into your pillow. I know I got a little bit there, but come on. I'm thanking you. Imagine bit there, but come on. I'm thinking you. Imagine the mindset that goes into that. It's not two people being intimate and connecting in a serious level. You should thank me for this transaction.

What? Speaking of thanking people. Yeah, no shit. Speaking of thanking this people, you know those gods like Jesus and Michael. Yeah. Do you know what they like? They like thanks also.

I had a coach who taught me about it. And she also called it a team. She can call, she was like, you can call them your angels or your team, I'm not religious. So I, I have just said my team. And she was like, they really love acknowledgement. They do. They love when you just say like, hi, hi.

Thank you. So I wanna do that right now. Thank you. Yeah. That's a bull shit. Wow. Is that really why they're doing this because they need to get recognition and thanks from people?

Wow. Because if that's the case, they've abandoned me years ago. Yeah. I am not thankful for any of this bull shit. That, yeah, that's a muddy rule. It was funny when Haley was doing these, channeling the guides because for Leah, it was all good. And then for Rachel, it was like she was a fucking disaster.

And I want to play a clip of that and then translate what she's saying for you. It feels like almost one day, it's really good. The next day, it's okay. And then you're one day it's really good. The next day it's okay and then trying, you're trying to find this middle ground. That's a little bit difficult right now because of, because it's all just stuck. Like things just feel a little stuck. So all I heard there was your podcast stinks. Your podcast stinks. Yep nailed it. Doesn't work to do the old podcast there, ladies. All right, Kroge.

Oh, I don't know what else to talk about. Yeah, I'm done with these projects. I mean, what the fuck it? Like for real, for real, for real. Please get the help you need, ladies, for real. Like two things. Yeah. I have Kroge, a new song on the board that we're gonna debut right now. This one comes in from not PJ

Not Jen from the Jingle's department, but our friend Doug White from Watchman Studios and the gab nice He's been an amazing contributor as of late. Yeah, and knocks out of the park with this one. Carl Jenkaya, Kroes, Andy Vinny, Digi Bro, Dick Jim, Florentine Todd, Shane Asmus Must Be Seeing O.P. John, Justin Brown, Maddox, Maps, D.L.R Tune gum, shame, cast, hoos like we had a blast Kyle Woot, trooper, Grace, T.D.S. A disgrace, hoos like that packing light Polly Shower, give me more Vic, Ryan, O.N.A. Podcast Zero, give me more Vic Ryan, O&A, podcast zero every day

Howard Stern, Sleepy Cast, Pizza Party, podcast Carlton, Star Defiler Podcasts are always learning Since they're starting turning Carlton, Star Defiler No, we didn't hide it, but we strive to fight it And be Kevin Justin Brown, Kevin and Ben and can't be found In cell podcast life is short with just in long

Artie Lang, Scooby Doo's New Zealand movie reviews How did this get played? Most podcasters will let's say Sad cast tinfoil head, Discord page, Roast and Jack It's these podcas we all hate, give us episode 88 Carden start the fire It's these podcasts we all hate, give us episode 88! All is heard since the start of turning Falled inside the fire No, you didn't lie to it, but it's time to fight it Well done, mister white dog white holy shit Yeah, appreciate that

That was a fucking ride This guy's paying attention That might take away from that He also sent me all the lyrics. I've room to do that like, I don't even remember how for this shit. Who's Kevin? Yeah, it's awesome.

Oh, all right. The best part is I can see him. He's got somebody in the vocal booth, staring at their phone, singing at the microphone, and he's sitting there editing the, you know, where his pocket's going. And then he turns on the talk back and goes, we try that one more time. Yeah, he's not even paying attention.

Goes right back to editing this. It's not a little pitchy dog. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Try that one more time. Ha ha ha ha. Awesome. All right, we have to talk about the new person I'm more fascinated with than anyone else

in the world right now is, of course, Stuttering John Melondas. Yes. This guy is amazing. He threatened us again. So I think we have to start there. Yes. I know you have some clips. I guy is amazing. He threatened us again. So I think we have to start there. Yes. I know you have some clips.

I have some clips. What's start with him threatening me because he does this show on YouTube now where he just reads questions and then answers them. Yeah. Which is not a good format for him. No, and it goes as well. For his dog and tail. Yeah, it goes as well as one might expect. Yeah. So this is him threatening

us specifically. Jake, yes, at Rick Rolla 10, you ever follow up with your lawyer about that show that's obsessed with you? Which one? There seems to be more and more. You know, it boggles the mind, if you think about it, you know, out of the 300,000 podcasts there are. You know, I mean, there are so many podcasts that, you know, these, and I know it's like these, you know, I don't even want to mention, I thought I'm mentioning them, but I know where they live, I know I have their address, I know everything about them,

I know what they do for a living. I, you know, I'm already doing things behind the scenes to fuck them over, which will happen, which, which, which will happen. Okay. So I want to point something out here. What Suthering John is saying is that he knows where I live. He knows where I work. Yeah. He's working behind the scenes to fuck me over, which will happen.

Oh, yeah. In what world is that? Not a threat. Right, Crush? I feel like he's threatening me. Yeah. Right? It does kind of sound like that?

And I know that the question was, if you talk to your attorney, I'm guessing the attorney would say, stop threatening this person on your show that's available on the internet because it's not a good look. It's not gonna work well when we go to court, but there is a reason why we make fun of Stuttering John. He outlines that here

But I just don't understand you got If you're supposed to be analyzing podcasts and all you do is analyze the same one Then you're not really doing what your podcasts are set out to do. I'm supposed to analyze the thousands of podcasts Oh, but you're not you're focusing on a few Because you got to bug up your ass about the fact that I'm way more successful and will always be more successful than you have ever been and at all. I love that his defense is Carl you're doing your show. I know. I'm not looking for advice from you. I you on a podcast, dummy.

If I need someone to help me with my format or segments or bits, I'm not gonna come to you for that advice. And trust me, John, we're making fun of lots of podcasts. I promise you that. We're doing our job over here. Don't worry about that. Yeah. All right, so then he gets into this a little bit further

and gets more into the attorney and the work they're going to be doing to sue us. You're a bunch of losers. Losers. Rockchester. Wow. Strong words. Yes, I have been talking to my attorney. There are a lot of things going on. There are a lot of things I'm talking to my attorney about. He's in New York. There's a lot of things that you're going to hear about soon in the news. Yes, in the news. Yes, could you imagine coming up next on C.I.D.

Some has been threatened to podcasting with a lawsuit. We're going to break it down with full analysis. Well, just imagine for one second if there was an actual reality where he picks up the phone to a lawyer and goes, listen, someone is being mean to me on the internet. Yeah. That's a fuck, dude.

What the fuck is wrong with you? Jesus Christ, get your shit together, buddy. So I want to play a couple of examples of these questions that come in that are pretty funny. Yeah. And how John handles them. Yeah. Jay Miller at J. Mill 324, 08450, a couple of questions.

How jealous of you of Shaloon, Shuley, headlining big venues while you're doing diners, as a father, you that high pitches more popular than you on Cameo. And how much do you regret leaving Howard? So you would think that if he's going to rereading haters bashing him, yeah, as questions out of show that he probably handles it well. Yeah. And does a good job of turning it into comedy. Yeah.

Nope. Here's this answer to that. All right, Jay, you know, it's like almost it's like I'm going to go to sleep from the same questions over and over again, Jay. Okay, first of all your loser Secondly, I have done the biggest venues in the world stand up the electric factory The fucking Grove theater in Anaheim I mean

The fourth and B in San Diego. I've done plenty of big venues Tempe improv. Whoa. That dropped off quick, didn't it? Whoa. You ever heard of the improv and Tempe? I played there too. I was the host that night, but still.

Dude, I once took a shit in an Applebee's and Buffalo. It's so, it's so bizarre to me that this fucking idiot is reading comments from haters. I think he's gonna win them over by explaining that he used to do things. Yeah, it's crazy. Yeah. All right, here's another great, a great question. I thought was really funny.

Why is your podcast in the comedy genre, sort of misleading from holocaust holocaustologist, which is just another douchebag loser at over 9,000 loser. You're a loser. Like, why is he reading these questions? He's not handling it. Well, he's causing a loser. Yeah. That's a funny question.

Like, why is your podcast and under comedy? There's nothing funny about it. Oh, boy. All right. I have to talk about this because I learned about it from our subreddit. There's a show called Revenge of the Sys. And they have a video breaking down the YouTube video that was this podcast. Okay.

This is a different John put out. And I guess these two guys make fun of YouTubers. Oh, there you go. And they seem to be somewhat in the... Wait a second, they don't have any content of their own. They just make fun of other people. What a bunch of losers. Yeah, well, maybe they could do their own show.

Then it would give them the right to you. All right, so this is a clip that I just thought was very funny because they're making fun of Stuttering John. Somebody says, who's currently less relevant in 2020? Opie or Stuttering John of stuttering John somebody says who's currently less relevant in 2020 Opie are stuttering John Stuttering John tough one man. I know. No, it is. It's a tough one, but um Man, oh, this is hard. I can get into this debate. Oh god damn

Opie Janice Janice Adams in the chat just fucking broke me Because I don't know I feel like one of those Westworld robots. That's like just picked up a photograph of the outside world And I'm like oh no, I don't see and even the everybody saying John yeah, John. I mean Yeah, you know what I got to go with stuttering John. I think because op If op call let's say this if opi called let's say uh like Lewis Jacob is or like Dave Smith or some like he's gonna show and said yeah I want to come on your show they'd probably be like yeah let's have opi on fuck it I don't know stuttering John would he couldn't even get on the stern post show. No, you know what?

I gotta give it to you. John is more pathetic here's why. People are still, even if they're doing it in a derogatory manner, people still talk about OP. Okay. They do it at compound, they do it on guest digital sometimes. There's another voice, OP's a name that still comes up, and people go like, you know,

and of course it's in the context of, what is this guy doing? Well, right. So I wanna reach out to the revenge of the cis guys and say, come on the show. Yeah, please, they'd be great. Open invitation, if you guys are bashing, set a rejotted, Opie.

We got a home for you over here. Yeah, please. This is right up by Ali. I'm like, where do these guys come from? Yeah, our welcome mat is rolled the fuck out. Yes, I'm excited about this. This is good. Other people are recognizing the fact that these

has bids are washed up. You don't say. I love what, what's something John is doing right now is the most pathetic thing you could possibly be doing. Rather than continue his career and try new routes of entertainment, he's literally watching old clips from him from when he was on the Howard Sterns show from more than 30 years ago. And telling people, watch this part where Howard laughs at the thing I said. Yes. This is crazy. Yeah. Let me give you an example. And listen to how it would fucking laugh in his ass off.

Okay. You listen. Okay. To how it as he laughs his ass off. All right. You know, when I fucking goof on Baba Bowie, then we're going to hear how it as he laughs. And Robin as she laughs when I goof on the fucking mama monkey. It's, I called him a monkey face and everybody laughed.

Wasn't that great? And then he actually plays the clip. Yeah, he plays, he's so excited about it. He plays a bunch of old ones. He plays a bunch of clips from it. And remember, he hates the pelican face. He talks about Howard Stern all the time. But he also still needs his appreciation.

Oh Howard left Robin left for approval desperate for it. Can I play a really closely related one? We so this is number 24. He plays some clips from his old interviews and then he goes into a thing that just fucking blows me away. When I when I let Howard in, he said on both interviews with the underdog lady in the KKK guy, he said, John, man, great interview, man. And you did it all on your own. And then he asked me to come to a writers meeting with Jackie and Fred. And I wrote questions for my idea, which was the Hollywood squares, the Hollywood squares. That was my idea. That was my idea now first of all He plays a clip from more than 30 years ago literally and then is like oh my god Howard love it so much Howard love it so much dude. It's 2020 move the fuck

I know and then he goes I got invited to a writers meeting and my idea was let's do exactly what they do in that game Show that everybody watches on TV. Yeah, no shit. But it was my idea. That's not an idea. Hey, Carl, I had an idea for WATP. Yeah. Let's just do what they do on Jeopardy. Exactly. We'll put out the answers.

That's a good idea. Did you put that all there yourself? That's my idea. It's your idea. Don't you fucking dare take that idea. That's my. I had another idea called Wheel of Fortune WATP, but that's, I won't get into that. And I love that he has been bashing Howard nonstop on his podcast.

He talks about Howard every single episode. He asked Monique from Radio Gunn to co-host with him. You know what Monique from Radio Gunn does for a living? Makes fun of Howard Stern. He's the only thing she does. And then he has the fucking balls to say this. I don't have any fucking, I don't have any problem with Howard. I really don't, you know, I know people think I have sour grapes. I don't, I just totally like it is in my book because that, I mean, that's what I do.

I only wrote a book about how much of a dick this guy is, but I got nothing against him. But I wrote a book about him. He goes, people think I have sour grapes. No, we know you do Yeah, we know you do it's not a hidden secret that's your defining characteristics It's the only thing you're doing anymore. Yeah, it's talking about how how it wronged you This score and fucking lover. It's unbelievable. He's watching videos. Oh, man. He is 11 my jokes We used to be so happy together.

Oh my god. That's so pathetic. That's awful. You know what? I'm certain to feel bad for all these people. That's gonna be the demise of W-A-T-B. Because as you know, I'm very up-of-the-fatic. Of course.

Compassionate carol. Compassionate carol, coming out again. Nope. So I'm gonna have a hard time with this at that point. Well, so John, as's gonna be I'm gonna have a hard time with this. Yeah, well so John as we documented my number 23 He loves to talk about old shit What did I do I did Conan or Brian seven times I did the Tnacho two. I did John Stuart one time. I remember the time. I played Little League ball, okay. I couldn't wait to fucking get

and pop one of the pool. I love to get our championship trophy. That's well done, Dam fuck this guy. I I Glad you grabbed that the beginning of the show. He starts out talking about the Astros Yeah, and that'll scandal and he has to make it about him of course. I played a league ball. We all did It's impressive. Oh, no, it's impressed by that. Oh So he loves talking about old shit. I got a guessing game for you, Carl. Oh, good. Number 25.

Okay. Uh, Flintster, the next Stern talking to is going to be about the U.S. Um, open source. I'm going to do that with Monique from Radio Gunnk. So here's the guessing game. What year did U.S. open source come out from Howard's turn? I'm gonna have to guess 94. It was a mail order VHS tape from 1989. They're gonna review a mail order cassette from 1989. That's what they're talking about. And that for John is actually pretty contemporary because here's my number 26.

Oh yeah. Let me just ask you a question. So he's talking about the fact that he was on Anthony Cumia show once. Yeah. And Anthony Cumia actually can do good impressions. Yeah. And John just jumped on the bandwagon, started doing

Coimbo. And now he thinks he can both do the impression and tell funny jungle. And he does two minutes of this. I'll cut this this. He does two minutes of this on a show. Let me just ask you a question. So you take it up the S and not. I mean just tell me. And if you take it up the S, is that like the first time? Is that like Captain Kirk boldly going where no man has gone before? Let me ask you just one more thing Ground breaking comedy John. All right. My question you Carl. You have a guess. Yeah, the original seven season run of Colombo

What year did that go off the air? I'm gonna guess like 82 maybe 1978 1970 fucking eight is where his fucking references are at yeah, I mean, Anthony Kubius even worse But I hear what you're saying. What are we even doing here? And I'm not again two two and a half minutes of that What else do I have I think I have one more thing on John I had the Colombo impression We got a a phone call like oh do you have something else and yeah? Do you mind if I tell you two more starter starter and John clips? So let's do it. Now, Carl, I don't know if you know this.

This might be a surprise to you. Johnson Mensa. Did you know that? Yeah, I sure do. Here's number 21. I know that he says that he's a Mensa member. Then the weed was awesome. Smoked it last night.

I watched Jeprity killed it. Killed it. Well, that's because I'm in Mensa. Oh, boy. Now, as you know, the mark of a true genius is that you sit home in your underpants, smoke weed, and watchin' TV. That's the mark of genius right there.

And then, and you also want to brag about everything you've ever accomplished, nonstop. That's also how you know someone's super successful and smart. Especially when what you do is watch TV, and then brag about it. That's the mark of the way to do, Crows. Give him that. Oh, yeah. You're right about that. So my apologies to anyone who's eating lunch right now. Number 22 is more of his men's nonsense. Wherever you're listening to this, at whatever time you're listening to this, we're giving you the energy you need.

Yes. You know, the cheese like substance found on the forskint onto the uncircumcised penis. That's the, that's the, uh, Webster definition of schmagma. Look it up. I'm not in, men's of enough to, I am dismarded. I am dismarded.

It's damn-arty. Fuck a genius, John. Genius. Well, he knows what schmagma is. By the way, in fact, that was the first name of my high school bed. Yeah, I believe that. We all know what Smegma is.

Yeah, I am impressive. I actually have your demo A-track at home. It's not bad. Yeah, not bad. It's not good. Now, he is the new John. Here's my number 27. Okay.

Yeah, okay, this is great. I'm like, I love this guy. I don't follow already. He's been horrible to me, but it's okay. I'm fine with it. I'm this is the new John much com or John. Addressed the fact that I said I had a million downloads flinster. Yeah. Yeah, you want me to show you the fucking screenshot? Get the fuck over here. Actually, it's over a fucking million, 100,000 now. Fucking assholes, all you fuck go. So that's just a little example of what the new calmer, John. Well, also, he's been saying since January that he's doing a new thing now.

He's not going to be angry and seek revenge. And he's threatening harm on me. Yeah. And lawsuits, which by the way, you can't do both. You gotta do one or the other. Yeah, that's pretty good. Yeah, pick one. Either you're gonna break my legs or sue me.

Yeah. Pick one. Uh, number 29, let's get more into the intellectual half. By the way, my legs look pretty easily breakable. Ha ha ha ha. I don't know which one of those I prefer, but I'm just throwing it out there. If you wanted to do one of those things. My mansion in Kanoga Park where I am now you can see my two star was posted there behind me. Episode one that's original poster from George Lucas. All right now look this ain't going to

win me any friends. If you're over the age of 12 and you have Star Wars shit in your house, you really need to reevaluate your fucking choices. Maybe pick up a couple books that don't have pictures in them. Maybe like do something with your fucking brain besides sitting watching a fucking space operative fucking you do what you're like. Now on top of all that, the poster that he's got is episode one. Yeah, fan of it. The movie that even Star Wars fans don't like and they're fucking Star Wars fans everyone They love shitty movies and that movie is too shitty for them and then he goes that's an original from George Lucas

Bull fucking shit you bought that it Spencer gifts on the clearance rack like all the other Star Wars episode one Bull shit that well the revenge of the cis guys figured that that was Don't Need to do the Howard Stern Show and nobody fucking wanted it because it's fan of men's probably he just grabbed it and now he's acting like he's friends with George Lucas to which I say who gives a shit who gives a fuck there you go well because if you came to my house I got a Jimmy Hendrix poster that I got from Jimmy Hendrix himself I don't think that's true his ghost his he's one of my spirit guides, Carl.

You can't take their wa- Bullshit! By the way, can I just point out, and I know that this is the dumbest thing you can do, is talk about things that people can't see, but you have to walk through my Star Wars room to get over to where we podcast. You know, I have tons of Star Wars shit over here, right?

That's why I toned out my Star Wars, hey. Just for this day. Thank you for that normally I go on a couple more minutes about it. I appreciate I have a boba fed skateboard deck. I don't know you see it in the blister pack Moving on number 30. Let's talk about beer and then Bob a buoy too was much big lip fucking monster fucking face the light Came in to tell me I said so did you work it out with him again? They said yeah they said fuck John. Well guess what, heine again fuck you. You fucking assholes at Heine again. I never drank a shitty beer anyway.

I drank Amstel light. Now the reason that's funny is because it's made by Heine again. Thank you very much. Thank you very much. What an idiot! Ha-ha! That is, that is exactly like saying, fuck you Budweiser, I won't drink your piss water beer. I only drink Bob White. Yeah, that's amazing. That's amazing. The fuck is wrong with this, Eddie? Also, he's still talking about Baba Bowie's big lips and teeth.

Like, is this, it comes off? Who is this funny, too? It comes up multiple times every show. You haven't seen this guy in 16 years. He wouldn't return a text from you. Yeah, no shit. They want nothing to do with you. And you're like, you're still goofing out on like your buddies?

They've all got you buck on Facebook. Right. Nobody's picking up the phone for you, buddy. That's so fucking weird. This is my last one I'll torture with for Stuttering John. And it's fucking gross, dude. But this is what, this is when he's not screaming at his own listeners.

Number 31 is what he talks about when left to his own devices. And I was like, I was like dreaming about fucking this chick, Daphne, who was like, you know, my ex-girlfriend's friend. I did end up making out and sleeping in bed with Daphne. I never banged it. But in my dream, I was banging him, and I woke up with a massive heart on, but then when I started to jerk up, I couldn't come. Oh my god. What the fuck? Oh my god. So I know there's a lot of people out there that want to hear what

a 55 year old guy is masturbating to and bad, but I'm not one of them. And dude, if you can't even fucking masturbate correctly, maybe don't go spreading that out into the universe Maybe keep some of that shit to yourself dude. Oh fucking cares as the weather or not or when or what you masturbate to What the fuck planet is that possibly fucking interesting on and I would want the fuck is going on here I want to point out that would people Say that you're lying about your 1.1 million downloads. It's because your show is terrible. Yeah, I agree Oh my god, he definitely has 1.1 million downloads. That's not that impressive. His name is Stuttering John Melendez He's a famous person. Yeah, but it there's no one actually listening to the show because they download it

Not at all and the I mean you can see the counts on the YouTube videos or there's nobody listening to that Well the only people are listening are hateless. Yes, which is great And I mean, you can see the counts on the YouTube videos or there's nobody listening to this. Well, the only people who are listening are hateless. Yes, which is great. Those are the people in the chat shouting these fucking questions about why are you such an asshole. And I want to play an example of one of the hate listeners because we got a couple of voicemails. They lasted way too long.

So I cut them down. But this is a guy who hate lessons to stuttering John. It's pretty funny. Between Florentine Levy and Modi, their sticking point is how wild and crazed they were on the road. Stories John promised us, like they were a motley crew in a heyday, traveling around. But reality, my division two college football team had, we had more, We did the same prank on the road. We farted on buses. We peed in buckets. You know, we made fun of fat girls. It's hilarious that John counted this wild podcast. How zany they were and it's literally. Yeah, everybody does not groundbreaking all. Yeah, well, you know what, this guy, this caller, you should start a podcast and talk about how you masturbate in bed.

Yeah, that's the next logical step. But it is funny because on this whole glory days trajectory that John is on now, he's gone back and interviewed people he used to do comedy tours with to talk about what happened on the comedy tours and God bless guys like Bob Lee and Jim Foranthee for playing along with that. Yeah, but those guys have other shit to do. Yeah, they're actually still doing shit And I guess that the other episode I haven't listen to all of Southern Johns podcasts, and I don't hate myself But I guess he had an author on who wrote a book about AC DC. Yeah, I saw that at the feed and okay So this guy who hate

listens listen to that any offered uh this information about it the best part of the just the podcast with the acdc writer is john asks him if he's published or self published and which makes more money on so the gentleman gives a long answer with a who he's used publishing and gives a long answer with who he's used publishing previously and with which books. And right when he's done, John says, sorry I wasn't listening, I was blocking people using the N word. Like, blatantly just ignoring his guest and makes him give the answer all over again. Oh! Could you imagine when you're an author of a book, you're just trying to get as much promotion as possible. There's a billion books, no one's buying them.

Yeah, it's a thought. So you'll go on any show. Oh, Southern John's gonna have me on. Can you imagine this poor person's going, why the fuck did I come on this show? I'm not gonna sell a single, I'm not gonna have a single audio download from this fucking show. Yeah.

Nobody's listening to this. Alright. So you've only said, who are these podcasts? We listen to shitty podcasts, so you don't have to. Yeah. Now this guy listens to shitty podcasts, so that you called him. I don't have to. This is amazing.

What the fuck, man? This is good. I will tell you that my buddy, Matt Lewinsky, aka the podcast hitman. Oh, he's a genius on Twitter has given me so much information about all of these great episodes that Shamest has been putting out. Oh nice. And I haven't been able to get to them enough. You and I got to do a bonus episode. I just want to zoom in, especially on this mostly normal podcast that he does with his girlfriend, Carly. So coming out?

Oh, oh it is. In fact, I have a couple teaser clips. Nice. For this bonus episode that you and I need to record. But first. Don't tell me you don't like my show. Don't tell me you don't like my show. Don't tell me you don't like my show. Don't tell me you don't like my show. Don't tell me you don't like my show.

Don't tell me you don't like my show. Don't tell me you don't like my show. Don't tell me you don't like my show. Don't tell me you don't like my show. Don't tell me you don't like my show. Because that's absurd. That's not Kittlesley doing all of it. Because that's absurd. That song kills me, dude. That's great.

Somebody tweeted at me a picture of that song showing up on their Spotify playlist. Like, fuck. That was gonna be it by now. This is, I love it when Todd is talking to his girlfriend, Carlian. Anyone who's a new listener, there's a guy named Patrick Michael, slash Shamest, McHillian, slash Todd. Yeah, there's a lot of order to cut through to get to who this guy is and why we care so much.

He puts out 20 podcasts. Yeah, just trust us, we care about this guy. And it's just the interesting part about him is that he puts out 20 podcasts, but not the same 20 podcasts. As quickly as he starts a new show, he drops off from other shows. I couldn't even tell you what show he's actively putting out right now. I have no idea. But thankfully, Matt Litzky listens for us and just sent me some timestamps to check out. So I thought this was interesting because we get a little glimpse

of Jack Ikele, just scored another goal. Five to one, Sabers. We get a little glimpse. People love the Sabers updates. Yeah. Crush. It's what they ask for. Yeah. We get a little glimpse into what his habits are. Because remember, the thing about Shamist,

it's fascinating to me, is that he's a stay-at-home dad. Yeah. And you wonder, what are you gonna do without this free time? Obviously he's an artist, he's a comedian, he's a podcaster. Musician? Yeah. Yeah, he does a lot of things. But what else is he doing without this free time obviously he's an artist he's a comedian he's a podcaster musician yeah there's a lot of things but what else is he doing without free time well you know I take a three-hour bath in the morning so when I get up and say you know

that's not normal but to me it's normal it's still so weird to me all right there's a lot I don't know how you sit in there that long I would get I get uncomfortable after a while you know it's weird I don't even how you sit in there that long. I would get I get uncomfortable after a while You know it's weird. I don't even get perunit either Did you think he was joking at first? Did you think what he said he took a three hour bath? You're like okay, what's the joke gonna be? And then his girlfriend goes yeah, that's kind of fucking weird dude You're in the bathtub for three hours every day. Here's a guessing game for you. How many Robert Duckies does he have at all? Ronald Bubbles Carly Get in here with the bubbles!

This guy's amazing. He's like Kim Jong-un. I can say in a bat for three hours and not even prune up. When I play golf, I hit a hole in one every single time. Now I can take remote control and put it all back together. Oh, shit. Now, we know that he has two young children at home. And we don't hear Carly on his podcast very often because I assume being a mother and a working full time to support the family, she probably doesn't have a lot of time to podcast, one would think.

One would think, but apparently, after eight days after giving birth, he's pulling her into do a podcast. We're going to be talking about anything and everything here. And it's going to be kind of a place where we can kind of regroup on everything, talk about things, you know, different things that we're feeling, you know, the fact that we have a newborn who's only eight days old. And then a two year old, two, two and some change. Almost two and a half that's right young young ones Croge dude you have kids you got an eight day old infant there when your son was eight days old

Were you grabbing the mother and say hey, let's do a podcast together right now I stuffed that zoom recorder right in her face. What do you feel honey? What's going on? We'll take it three hour bath with me come on What do you feel honey? What's going on? We're taking three hour baths with me come on Shit, I mean first of all congratulations, Shamus. Congratulations, Shamus. That's awesome. Oh my god. I'm terrified Holy fuck. I just hope W and this is my goal, you know people ask you what do you why do you even podcast what's the point here is my goal? I hope W atp is still around when around when shameless kids start their podcast For years to come their podcast is going to sound like the basic witches

Yeah, I don't just be them recounting their childhood traumas and how they fought for decades to overcome it and still can That's my prediction. You think there should be some daddy issues? I mean, is that what you think? Maybe. So apparently because Shamish is so busy with podcasting and comedy and music and watching movies and TV shows and not understanding what they're talking about. Yeah, not her fan of you.

Apparently he doesn't spend a lot of time with his girlfriend, which Carly admits in this clip. Yeah, so I guess that's what really why we're doing this in a lot of ways, just kind of have something to do, something that is ours. This is our show. Yeah, and something to do together,

because a lot of the times we don't. Ooh, yeah. The only time Carly gets to spend time with her boyfriend is if she goes out of podcasts with him. Yeah. Because that's all this guy he's ever doing. Yeah. It's podcast.

The red light is always on. He's always recording something. So I love the fact that they decide, all right, we're just gonna react to things that are in the news. You know, we're gonna scroll through the Facebook feed and we're gonna react to that. Brilliant. They react to a story that neither of them has read.

They know none of the details, but they have a strong opinion about it. Point is, this family decided to have a gender reveal party and their gender reveal was very different. I'm not sure how I supposed to go, but it ends in a car fire. What? Oh, yeah, I think I saw. I didn't look at it though, but yeah.

I don't know what they were trying to do is something to do a smoke Coming out blue like I guess. Oh I was rigged with some sort of explosive So it's a barrel at the windows I guess or so. I don't really know the whole thing behind it But it's like you guys really just want the extra mile like why not do balloons or keep it simple like everybody else This guy refuses to prep for his own show yeah he will never ever prep not even by mistake he could have read that by mistake and knew what he was talking about but instead he shows up so ignorant of the information

that he's talking about it's incredible and unfortunately there isn't an IMDB page for this gender reveal party saga yeah so he has you can't even look it up and tell you the length of it. Can you do the Robin Quivers and just be reading it for the first time? There. Miss productive everyone's name. This is the headline I saw. Isn't that shocking? It's crazy.

What happened? I don't know. Who fucking knows? By the way, you just made me think of something. Somebody sent me a note and said, you make fun of OP all the time. We do. OP was a hole on OP and Anthony. Yeah.

He added nothing to that show. Yeah. Robin Quivers is OP. And he laid out a lot of reasons why and I tend to do agree with all of them. I can see that. I'm wondering if maybe at some point, now unfortunately Robin tried to do a side project.

She wanted like an Oprah style show. I remember that. They actually did a pilot. I think they did a few point. Now, unfortunately, Robin tried to do a side project. She wanted to have like an Oprah style show. I remember that. She actually did a pilot. I think they did a few episodes. Yeah, I remember. They never made it to the air. It's awful. Oh, it would have been great if it had.

Well, didn't she did like a version on serious show? She had a round table show. Yeah. Yeah, serious. Okay, yeah. That's what I'm thinking of, like Robin and Frans. But she was actually doing like a TV show pilot and never went anywhere.

So unlike OP, we don't get to hear her outside of the show. But we might want to break that down at some point. Just how awful Robin quivers us. Yeah. Cause she sucks. And boy, she didn't get any better over the years. She's gotten much, much worse. Yeah, it's crazy.

So you think after 40 years of the same job, you'd maybe like, hone in on the skills or something? Oh, no, she's gotten much, much easier. Yeah. Much, much, lazier. Now she's impossible to fire. She's just, oh man. So the last thing that I want to play for you is they're talking about Whitney Cummings new comedy special. Oh boy.

I think it's on Netflix. I don't know. Whitney Cummings has a new comedy special out out and Sheamus and Carly both watched it and they're gonna give their review of it here. Oh I can't wait. I know. Our overall special we think. You laugh a lot. Yeah it was pretty funny. It was all right. Yeah it was good for what it was about. I mean she stuck to her subject matter and I like I like a good or let's say a confident female stand-up comedian. Somebody who knows their material and is confident when they tell it. What? So his

breakdown of why she's good is because she knows her material Well, yeah, it's six to her material Which a lot of comedians just get off and just start telling other people's jokes not Whitney Cummings She just does her material. That's a hell of a review And can you imagine someone who's been doing Santa for as long as Whitney Cummings who's had four hour long comedy specials is Confident but she tells jokes. Imagine that. It's amazing. Oh, excuse me.

Oh, shit. Grocer's fucking Dr. Pepper is, yeah, coming up on me. Coming up on me. Sorry. All right, I have to play a segment that we've gotten away from for a little bit, but it relates to this.

Gringe of the week. Gringe of the week. Cool, I got a few for you. Good, all right. So let me start off the cringe of the week because this is Whitney Cummings podcast. She's a podcast. Of course she does. Of course she does, yeah, that was a super question.

Stupid question. So this came in from Jason Nick, which is at J. Nick's 30 on Twitter. And when you think about a comedian having a podcast, you'd like to think that it's funny. Wonder why? You'd help. Like that's why you would listen to a comedian

having a podcast. She has a guest that I named Kate Upton. Are you familiar with Kate Upton? Her name? Yeah. So Kate Upton is a beautiful blonde-haired woman who I'm pretty sure is met with laughs at everything she says. Yeah.

Because you don't have to be interesting when you're a knockout, people will just act like you're amazing in every single way. Yeah. Whitney Cummings included. Yeah. I'm not sure why, but she posted this and she said she asked people this question, what's the best gift you've ever gotten? And she says, this is Whitney Cummings saying this,

that this was the best answer she's ever received to that question. Okay. Kate Upton's best gift she ever received. Strap in people. All right. That's a good one. What's the best wedding gift I've got?

I got, well, I put it on my registry. I got a Roomba that I just love. I'm in it. I'm in it. I'm in it. I'm in it. I'm Roomba that I just love. I just love it. Are you serious? I just love it. Why am I laughing like round-of-day-jump fields? Why are you laughing at all?

Did you already give me your infosima or whatever? Probably. Okay, Kevin, she's like, I'm sick. That's so funny. You have a Rumba zooming around your house? Oh, love it. And then I returned some of the gifts people got me and bought another Rumba. I think Rumba.

I can't know what's so weird. I was trying to write a joke about this in my last specials that when a Rumba gets stuck under a couch, you know, when it gets stuck and it's trying to go, I feel bad for it. Is that weird? I can't like emotionally attach to them because they like, because when you see them get stuck, you're like, oh buddy.

Meanwhile I'm like, come on. Please. I don't have you for nothing. We had to walk over there and get you out of there. I would never think of getting someone a Roomba. Oh, love it. That's so funny. It's just like, it's just like going like, you're lazy.

Yeah, literally. You're terrible. I am. She registered. But we know. I forgot about Roombas. I didn't realize they were still happening. Oh, yeah.

And then now the new ones, they go back to their little pod and they empty themselves and then go back to the exact spot they left out. See, that creeps me out. That's like some black mirror. Don't you have a robot? Like why does that creep you out? I don't know why. If it has like eyeballs and looks like me I'm fine with it. If it's in my spitting image I'm totally okay with it. Your podcast stinks. Your podcast stinks.

So she registered for a gift for a wedding. Yeah. Someone bought the exact gift that she wanted. And then she enjoyed it. And then she enjoyed it. And it actually worked out really well for her. That's fucking dumb. And she enjoyed it.

And Whitney Cummings is beside herself. It's a laughter. I guess, boy, when you've got a 34 triple D, you don't need community timing. No, even among women. Even among straight women. Yeah. It's still the funniest thing they've ever heard.

Wow. Yep, so that's cringe of the week. What do you got, Kroge? All right, I got a couple of cringes for you, Carl. Beautiful. This first one, number 33, this is from a podcast that I do not recommend, but I enjoy anyway. It's called Bizar bizarre albums. This clip is

Yeah, a musician that you and I have had the misfortune of seeing Dan Acroid musician and and World famous rapper Tom Hanks. Oh fuck these are there these two are in character from their film Dragmat from the 80s And this is them singing 33 Dan Ackroyton Tom Hanks. I almost don't want to listen to this. It's amazing.

Can I take my ear buds out? I think she is a subject of a sacrifice! Buddy, we're putting this party on ice. But but you know we really, I don't read them, they're right! Read them, they're right. Read them, they're right. Well I can get tonight to rap about you right. Cause right now you're in trouble. Don't have to say nothing at all, you all got to call in your battle make them all into trouble! Wow. Now that I think is the predecessor to master K I mean they thought they've got your production skills right there. Yeah, the drummer seems intense. The vocals are at four. They sound like shit. They rhyme trouble with double. I mean what are we doing here?

They rhyme trouble with double. I mean what are we doing here? Uh this happened recently on a show This what well the podcast just came out the that song is from like 1980 whatever Whatever the film dragged that came out. Okay, but I got it I I need to know if it came out of the same time master K was cutting his albums Because I'm starting to think that they might have been off me a little bit. I think there's a lawsuit there. I think so Holy shit, that's terrible. Yeah, that's amazing. That's embarrassing. I mean, I like, I knew Dan Eckhart sucked at music.

I had no idea the level of which some hangs could suck at music. Yeah, Dan Eckhart's terrible. Now, there, no, look, Carl, I don't feel good about this. I wasn't gonna do this thing. But I had to talk to my spiritual guy, Jimmy Hendrix lives above my left shoulder as you know, I see him and He told me we should play this now look. These are three clips from your show last week. I did not edit The clips at all But I added some music and sound effects just to just keep things moving. Oh, fuck me dude

By the way, I'm so 200 is gonna be roasting WATP. Can we save it? You'll have new material for that though. The name of this game is the materials limitless content. Yeah sure, that's a good point. The name of this game is, can Carl say the word picture? This is 34. I know I have at least once because I was paying attention.

Alright. Who asked him to take their picture? You see I said that picture That it doesn't work you got it and Wee's assumes that he means they want a picture with him I was too for three though, but could even make it Yeah, man, you're all beacuse they want a picture. Oh, no, no, no, no, they just handed me my phone

See now that one you could even hear you and you're thinking about it. What's funny? I've known you 20 years. I've never even noticed this other than the people and write it bringing it up dude that T and C.H I feel like is it interchangeable in that word right? I mean you put those things anywhere. Maybe it's a Rochester thing. I don't know. Maybe here's the last one I have learned a lot about how bad I am at talking from doing a podcast To one of the great side effects Opie takes a picture and I would do this picture Opie takes a picture and I will do this picture. I didn't look at it. OP takes a picture and we'll see.

Oh fuck me. Rapid fire. Yeah. I can't talk about pictures anymore. I mean, this stuff talking about the, and you see photos. Yeah, photograph is where you got to go. Yeah, if you see this photograph, I was looking at this J-Pag. This ping on the internet's amazing. There you go. Fuck me. you see this photograph, I was like, look at this J-Pag. This ping on the internet, that's amazing.

There you go. Fuck me, all right, well that was a good game. You weren't, I love that. What was I gonna do with this? Well, I mean, I had to. It was a sense of duty. Okay, anything else that you have to play? I'm done.

You're done! Well, that's good news, because it means it's time for everyone's favorite part of the show. The team is the special. The team is the everyone's favorite part of the show. The teaser. The teaser. The teaser. The teaser. The teaser.

The teaser. The teaser. The teaser. This is the part of the show where we play a clip from the podcast that we'll be reviewing on next week's episode of W-A-T-P in order to tease that episode. Dig it. And I don't even know what's gonna happen yet. We haven't done it yet.

Yeah. But we know what podcasts we're gonna be reviewing. And it is this one. We have another day to fix the shit. That's what you fucked up. Hey, look man. Guess what? You got two abs.

And I say this all the time. You got two abs just when you get, when you get, when you get at versed it at your facing. Fix it a fuck it. Basically. You fix it if you can, when you got, when you got adversity that you're facing, fix it a fuck it. Basically. You fix it if you can, if you can't, you say fuck it. It's really, I'm a Virgo, it's really hard for me to say fuck it. Yeah, Virgo.

I don't know nothing about a Stroudness. I just know the Libras is supposed to be the coolest. Virgo's the loyal. All my best friends are Libra. My best friends are supposed to be the coolest. What's the other thing? You don't know that. I did this when I heard it. You must be Aliebra.

More astrology, Doc. Yeah, holy shit. Well, see how I'm a Scorpio. So I talk over everyone all the fucking time. Fuck is wrong. I'm a sedentary, so I suck at podcasting. Yeah, I get it. Everyone knows that. Holy shit. Do you know what show this is, Scrush? I podcasting. I thought it was that. Holy shit. Do you know what show this is, Scrush? I don't, I couldn't make has your tales of that. Okay, this is expeditiously with tip Ti Harris.

That's right, that's the rapper Ti who has his own podcast. This is a suggestion that came in from Nick Fignilli and we appreciate that. He doesn't auto tune his podcast. He doesn't auto tune his podcast. He doesn't auto tune his podcast. How would you even know it was TI? Or get professionals.

I love how upset you are. You've run his music. He's all auto tune. Yeah, sorry, go ahead. No, he has a podcast where there's not a lot of production value doing apparently. Holy shit. So that'll be fun.

We'll be listening to TI's podcast. I think isn't this the guy who's famous for making sure that his daughter is a virgin? That's right. Yeah, the guy that brought his daughter to the gynecologist for her 18th birthday. Yeah. And had the gynecologist text the results. Yeah. Could you imagine that concern with the family members of vagina?

I mean, for real. Like, think about that for a second. And he was, he family members of vagina. I mean, for real, like, think about that for a second. And he was proud of it. Yeah. He didn't try to hide it. Yeah, he's the one that announced it. He's the one who told the truth. I guess what I just did.

Yes. I had a doctor who spent my daughter's vagina. Whoa. Okay. Holy shit. So this should be fun. Yeah. I can't imagine this won't be fun.

All right, cool. Hey, we're gonna play just a couple of voicemails after the outro. The other thing that I wanted to talk about real quick is it's, everyone's having a lot of fun, doxy me lately, and putting all sorts of things that are subreddit, and it's all funny games. Until people who want to ruin my life can easily

find out who I am. Yeah. And I realize I don't do a good job of hiding it. Now I've done a terrible job over the years. Yeah. But if we could all just try to make it a little bit difficult because this has literally happened to me already. So I'm just asking for the people out there who are, you know, doctoring videos with 9.11 footage and whatever else might be going on. If you could kind of cool off on that, you know, mentioning the company that I'm part of, if we just kind of cool it on that.

Yeah, that'd be amazing. Maybe block out the last name. Because honestly, if I could just not hit my life ruin for a few more months, that'd be great. Yeah, I'd really appreciate that. Crush, I want to thank you so much for coming on. Thank you for having me. It goes in the show, you always bring it, anything that you want to plug my friend. Yes, I will be on the Soulbrad it later.

My name is I Heart Stuttering John. Come join me. So please, join us again next week. It might be the episode where we find out once and for all, who are these podcasts? Sleep well, everybody. I almost said who are these ponies. I swear to God, we're gonna find out who are these ponies. Fuck me.

Good morning, radio. Savers one by the chair. Okay. Great show. Good job, everybody. Great job job everyone. Fuck you! Thanks a lot Carl. Fucking thing suck. Your wife had been changed into Senor.

Oh fucking cares! Uh oh, great part of learning. Great part of learning, why? Yeah! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I You know who are these podcasts. I don't know. I don't get it makes no sense monster, babe Just saving that one for you. Oh, man. So Vic is not here to read reviews But I'm not taking it personally or anything, Vic, it's fine. Don't worry about it. So now we know for sure that Vic is a woman.

This is proving it. All right, let's listen to some voice mail's real quick. And then, oh, also, that's the other thing I want to talk about. I talked about the fact that we did a bonus episode with Dick Masterson this week tomorrow, which comes out on Tuesday, I will be on Dick Masterson show. He got the footage of footage. He got the audio from when Maddox was on the Don and Mike show,

which was the thing that broke Maddox back then. I believe the early 2000s. But started it all. It started it all it started it all and Somehow somebody found this and Dick said I want to put on the show come on. Let's talk about it. So I'm very excited about that That's awesome. Yeah, so definitely tune in to the dick show this week and all right Let's listen to hear what people have to say about w a tp

Hey, I just want to say that I've been enjoying your podcast. I've been having some memory loss lately and I've thought that I had you downloaded, but I'm enjoying it. It's pretty good. It's pretty good. Hopefully my memory come back. Yeah, I just want to say a great show. I'm no wonder I was listening to it before. I just want to say it. Oh, good show. Good show. All right. And then he called back again a little bit later.

Yeah, I just wanted to say that I've been enjoying your show. I've been having some memory problems lately. And I just thought that I had you downloaded on my Spotify account. And it's a good show. I just wanted to say great times. Hopefully, hopefully I remember what this is about. I'm I'm agree we need to meet some of episodes to do with the triggers some memories All right. Thank you for the show man. It's a good show. Good show. All right. Yeah, there you go

Keep dealing with those memory issues. Yeah, W-A-T-P very popular among Abesiax, Himophiliax, the deaf community. Yeah All right. Oh, you know, if you're a patron of this show, which I'm sure everyone listening is, of course, you get access to Vic's cell phone number and some people take advantage of this. Yeah. Hey, Carl. So I know on the last episode, We found out that Vic has low self esteem and that she's got daddy issues Yeah, I was texted her for two days straight all these insults and I still don't have any feet picks What am I doing wrong call me back? I'd have to see the insults themselves. It sounds like you have the right strategy

Yeah, maybe you're not executing it correctly. Yeah, that is the right thing to do though. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. If everyone could just start insulting Vic and especially because you know that she has daddy issues now. Yeah. Make sure that you're doing that. See, I'm actually at a secret Patreon tier. Vic calls me every Tuesday morning and tells me what a fucking piece of shit I am. Yeah, and it really gets me moving for the day You know, that's actually me doing my vick and bustle. Oh, fuck. Hey John you fucking asshole. Oh my god Fucking piece of shit fuck Dude I've been Goes a room now that fans resters a big fan of the AI

P.P. You gotta get it on the show. She's got a new sitcom to promote. All right. Pulling back a big offer. Yeah. Do they reboot the nanny or something? What do that? I heard something about that. Wow. Yeah. I mean, they reboot basically everything all the time. So yeah, I don't know. Yeah. All right. Um, oh, this is interesting. somebody finally saw a picture of me on a picture shit they saw a photo of me on the internet fuck me hey Carl this is a moniker when ski the boarded daughter I'm calling it a boarder I gotta say I was I was getting really worried when I heard all the people talking about how weird you would. It started to make me wonder.

I was really worried that you were going to be overweight. I was freaking out. Panicking, thinking, I was not going to be able to make sure the fat bitch is anymore. It was getting me serious to worry. So I just got to say, I was really relieved when I found out you just looked like the an albino. But I mean you look like a goofball in everything but I mean I think you're confident in makeup for all that. I just I don't think you could make up for you being 300 pounds. So yeah, just put the sake of your fans your wife, especially me just please

Space-kitting so make fun of that bitches. Yeah, coming back. Good advice. Let's get advice. Did he call you an albino cripple? Something like that. I kind of cut out a little. Yeah, that's right. Don't I heard that's wow? That's amazing. Why are you running that down? New name for me? I'm changing the contact in my phone right now. I've gotten that a lot the people think that I'm fat before they see pictures of me and I'm not saying I'm skinny by any means. Yeah really.

But it's interesting that for whatever reason, I guess my voice sounds fat. Yeah I don't get that and we listen to a lot of podcasts where the hosts you can hear every extra hundred pounds of obesity on them Yeah, yeah, you listen to Rush Limbaugh, oh this guy's fat. Yeah, I kind of know you listen to that in the mic You're like oh these guys are like three guys It's two guys, but it's like three guys. Yeah, all right band practice guy Who called into the show because we had a guy train out a new catchphrase recently.

I don't know if you remember that. He says the hot car, guys, a hack. Yeah, this is the start of another rivalry. No comment on the white Sharia guy though. No, not yet. Alright, I think I have one more voice mail in here. I don't know what it is so we'll find out. From Carl I just got a blowjob last night. Give a head of blowjob. Yeah. How many guys you've been with? Don't get back to me. It was like the fish sticks joke. Yeah, wow.

It was interesting. Hey, you remember your first blowjob? How did it taste? Ha ha ha ha! That actually would have been a lot funnier of a call. Wow. That was. Yeah.

Alright, and you know the way that we like to wrap up the show here because Krozer is the one who started it. It's, uh, it's something like this. Yeah, no one likes this part of the show. You guys should all just kill yourself. the one who started it. It's a little something like this. Yeah, no one likes this part of the show. You guys should all just kill yourself. Well, PJ started it. I just... That's true.

Clip it out. All right. Oh, so the answer to my question is I hear your breathing when I don't expect it to. So I thought you were fat. Oh, maybe this is the person I actually called in. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, that could be it. Oh, maybe this is the person I actually called in. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. That could be it. There's a lot of breathing going on. Wow. 10 bucks from

26 K down the drain. Hey, John, my name's Nico Big fan. I listen right now from Gary Indiana. Can you give a shout out to my friends? Vick and Kay, Hey, Vick and Kay, you're a Vick and Kay, how you doing? Is the stutter in John giving you a shout out and thank you, Nico. Hopefully I'll be in Gary in the end. Please, please tell me, Nico, what is the comedy club in Gary in the end? I will, I will, I'll send them an email. I'd love to be there too. I, again, I've only been there too. Again, I've only been there once. Michelle 1861, underscore 1861, will you be doing any stand-up dates near Gary and Deanna? I hope so. I mean, like I finally took it upon myself. I followed the great Adam Hunter. He's like John because I asked him like, you know, you know, I mean, you know, who books she gets. He goes, I do, John. I go, really?

He goes, yeah, I just find it. It's just easy. And I said, you know what? I'm going to try that. And so far, I've been doing it. And I have some new dates to announce because it just seems easier for me to just call them or email them. So hopefully I will be in Gary Indiana. I like to get the I don't I've my band played in Indiana. We open the Ted Nugent there, but I've never done stand up there.