Who Are These Podcasts? - Ep201 - Dungeon Drunks

Episode Date: April 12, 2020

Happy Easter Peeps! Get ready for magic and adventure, it’s a show about Dungeon & Dragons! “Nice” Doug joins us to explain how you should make a podcast where adults play D&D. Good luck with that. We check in on Patrick Michael’s newest podcast and his latest stand up set. Also, we break down Howard Stern’s new podcast. If you make it to the review and voicemail segment, I apologize for the echo. I have a feeling Vic, like Howard Stern, doesn’t own headphones. Maybe we can help her out with our Patreon money. Check out the Isotopes performing live on Friday, April 17th at 8p EST. https://theisotopes.com/ http://bit.ly/watp-patreon Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Cause, cause a rule, cause a rule. Uh, Carl has one of my favorite podcasts ever. Who are these podcasts? It's called Run By, a guy called Carl. Who are these podcasts? It's a podcast review. I'm a big fan of the podcast. I was on Who Are These Podcasts yesterday.

It's a great show. Have you ever listened to it? I have not. It's a quality show and they have good ideas. It's kind of like Jacktober but with with really no redeeming quality. What's up? You guys are concise and brutal. Yeah, you just mercilessly rips on people. Some of this quite hilarious. You don't have to listen to shitty podcasts. You do it for us. You do it. This guys are making some fucking points here. I like what I was saying.

How many of you like what they're saying? It's hilarious. The show is hilarious. It's show time. W-A-T-P-L-A-T-P. Hello, rubber dicks and cusser-roos. Welcome to another episode of Who Are These Podcasts, the only show that tries to hide the fact that we're drunk. I'm your host, Carl, with me this week.

The host of this show, they can let me be described as a bad time talking about shitty movies. It's the host of good times, great movies. It's Doug, everybody. Oh, Carl, thanks for having me back on. Oh, thanks for coming back on. Please, go to whoarethese.com to get our email address, voicemail number, link to our subreddit. Oh, let's get that started again.

That was really nice. Ah, link to our subreddit, link to our discord server, link to our merchandise, link to our Patreon, featuring a new bonus episode every single month. Link to our separate link to our discord server link to our merchandise link to our patreon Featuring a new bonus episode every single month also being courage on listeners to give us a five star review on it And then shit all over it's in the comments section today. We'll be reviewing a podcast called dungeon drunks This was a suggestion from birdie Doug and I have both listened to the show separately. We have not discussed it with each other beforehand Let's get into it. Oh, well about that timing? That was pretty sweet. That music is so distracting. I didn't hear a word.

This is a show hosted by Jack as Traven Corps, the half-alpha ranger. Jonathan as Jonathan, the Magi muscular, the human wizard. John as Carlton tanks, the half-orc barbarian. And Julia as Bernice Cubern's the gnome cleric. Oh and of course Lauren aka Obo are DM aka dungeon master. But why am I explaining this when they do such a great job? We're at the top of the show. Hi this is Jonathan and I play the human wizard Jonathan the Magi muscular.

Hi I'm Jack I play Trevincor, a half elf beastmaster ranger. Hi, this is John. I play your half-work barbarian Carlton tanks. Hi, this is Julia. I play the rock-n-roll Clare Brinney's Cubers. And I am Lauren, your humble DM, and welcome to Dungeon Drunks. Alright, so this is a podcast where adults get together and play Dungeons & Dragons while drinking. I was hoping based on the name I was hoping it would be legit raging like trying to figure out how Dungeons & Dragons works which would be so much more entertaining than what this show actually is. I

want to play a clip that I just muted Zoo who was making all sorts of fucking noise. Thanks a lot. Nice. Great. I want to play the clip that sums up the show for me because most of the show is them playing Dungeons and Dragons. And it's very confusing. I'm not into Dungeons and Dragons at all.

You would think that Dungeons and Dragons would would be like this fantasy world full of magic and all of this crazy shit going on. There are parts in the show and I can't tell if they're talking about their real lives or this fantasy life. And here's an example of that. What's your plan for tomorrow? We have to go have this. What is hopefully only the second most awkward conversation I've ever had in my entire life.

And... Ugh, Lord of Mighty. Jonathan's going to drink a potion that's going to give him a lot of courage. And... That potion is alcohol. No, we're not doing alcohol. Alcohol didn't work last time. But we are going to go talk to a former professor

who he's in love with, so. She thinks I'm a work of art. As if on cue, Ellie Belly, the goblin who is staying at the Temple of Integrity walks on in and says, was it time for a little bit of a night camp? I thought I heard and Cleo says, I thought we weren't gonna have any more Sherry before bed Ellie belly. I just I just hope everybody fast forward like everybody listening to this skips through all of this nonsense. That is what the entire show is. And I hated having to listen to this thing was awful.

I know. And I think you listened to a couple of episodes because you couldn't find anything to clip. Oh, I just listened to one. OK. Did you have a clip listening back? Do you have a clip that sums up the show for you? Is something that we can play?

I do. Play my number 12. All right. Last night, I went to rating in the Garden Salvation. Finally got my first completion and got the exotic from it. And it was accompanied with the white wine that I'm gonna be using tomorrow for some rice and beans.

So that'll be a good time. No! Yeah, this is part of the show where they describe what they're drinking, right? I have to talk about what they're drinking at the top of the show, but that's what this is. I mean, once they're past that, I think the majority of my clips are in the first 20 minutes when they're not playing because once they play, as you said, it's nonsense, jargon that doesn't make sense. I mean, I don't know, we're into like episode 300,

some of this podcast. Unless you went back and listened from show one, which I don't know who would do that. Why would anyone care what is happening at all with these idiots? No, it reminds me of Brenda Star. You know, there would be a new Brenda Star or Kavak strip every single day. This thing has been going on since the 40s, reminds me of Brenda Star. You know, there would be a new Brenda Star comic strip

every single day. This thing has been going on since the 40s, right? What the fuck is going on? Who's just getting into that in 1994 and there's still fucking pop of this shit out, cares. And the other thing about this show is, I don't know if you remember I was on a while ago, we did my brother, my brother and me, those Maca Roy brothers.

Well, they do one of these, which is, I would say sort of the top tier, I think it's called Adventure's Zone. And I listened to a few episodes of that because I was just curious what all these other shows are trying to do. And while those guys are annoying as fuck and we sort of, you know, we heard all that. They at least do character voices. They're telling jokes at one another's expense at the nerdy games expense. None of these people put on character voices. So as you said, I was wildly confused all the time. Like, who is talking? Are they talking about the real life? Are they talking about a video game that they just played? Are they actually in the game right now?

Okay, dog. There's no I have to shit out all of your points So they do character voices. They're just ridiculous. Here's a clip that I call adults. Oh, yeah Okay, I'll have some tea and it's about time for bed for me anyway and Ellabelle will stay behind and thanks for the sherry. Oh always a pleasure. Thank you. Lovely meeting you You too. Let's see you tomorrow night for more Cherry I guess that'll be great So it's not like the girls are a little more into the voice acting and the guys and then you said they don't have any jokes

What about this hoki-p joke? The guy throws out. Trevor and the court does a Hoki Poki in turns himself about to see if there's anyone else or anything kind of scrying on them or what have you. That's what it's all about. That was all about. There's been no laughs. What do you mean? I'm not. These fucking people are dorks. It's terrible. And the And the guys, first of all, until the end of this show when they go back through who they are, I didn't know there were three of them. I thought there were maybe two guys doing this at most.

They all sound the same and they're all a bunch of mush mouth fuckers. They're not gonna talking. You know, flight 13. Okay, all that. Where's this? Travel course this evening is flying during breweries. I kind of want to peel off this with is rap label.

Jonathan Madden, monster starts casting various South Valley bond. Like, you know, we're the dead, dedication would typically be like, is red versus blue reconstruction? Oh God, did a good thing that I mean, he has, you know, I dropped the last time he missed out on the beginning of the motorones because he was experienced from the spell so he's

like he's gonna come to John's life to you hey maybe you let's do this mangas style oh my god drunken podcasting is not a good idea I don't know why this is celebrated by these people you don't know that they are drunk when they're I think this is just the way they talk and if you're saying words that aren't real words please speak somewhat clearly I think he said just the way they talk. And if you're saying words that aren't real words, please speak somewhat clearly. I think he said, let's do this Shmanga style at the end. And I don't know what that means. I don't know what most of the things they said means. Let's get back to the setup.

The dungeon master is very charismatic. Has a lot of energy. She's very excited to get things going. Distinguished adventures. Last time on Dungeon Drunks, our heroes have just come back from the fist and shear. A bar and legal fighting ring in Neverwinter. There they've met up with Cleo Boulder Down, an old friend of Bernies, and the head of the temple to Bay in the city. The group is hoping that they can discuss about an upcoming battle

against a Yugeloth, and so have returned to the Temple of Integrity to talk about details. What in the hell are you talking about? It's not a good sign when she's going, let me get you up to speed. This is what's going on and I don't understand all things she's talking about. I don't think I'm gonna figure this out.

Oh, no, not at all. Can I get back to the beginning of this show? Cause I don't know when we talk about this campaign or whatever it is that they're doing. So play my number 14, because this guy's talking, I mean, as every single podcast has to do now, they have to talk about COVID-19 at the start of their show. And he said something at the start of this,

and I was really set up for something interesting. Play my number 14 Speaking as a person of faith who sees people of faith taking all kinds of meetings and trying to read into what all this means I'm gonna come in a different direction. Oh, okay. I was very excited here Like maybe he comes to the conclusion that this is some sort of Punishment from God for playing a fantasy game or making Harry Potter so popular or maybe it's caused him to kind of like reexamine his beliefs and he realizes that there are no gods and there's just human, you know, they're just human constructs

but this is what he says play 15. Use this time to work on your relationship with God. You. You. What a bummer. I was so excited. I know. He said, what you should do is love your family and pray to God. I was like, I'm not going to do either of those things.

I need to say a terrible advice. From a different perspective as other people of faith. I'm pretty sure that's the same exact perspective. Yeah, it's not a hot take. You know, it does have a hot take, though, is Jonathan. Jonathan is shot out of a fucking cannon. We're gonna, we're gonna acknowledge some, some current events right now. Think suck, because of COVID-19, the people in charge suck because they refuse to call it COVID-19 and refuse to do things that, that need, that we need to do to help people. Maybe I'm talking about. What the fuck is this guy talking about? I live in New York State where the government is doing

nothing but fucking with my life every single day. I can't turn around without a cop fucking with my life right now. This guy's going on going, yeah, you know the problem is, we're not doing enough about this COVID-19 thing. We're doing a fucking lot about it, asshole. So you know what, Carl, you listen to the same podcast, and I think that clip continues because he's not upset about that.

Play my number 16. This is what he's really upset about. Like, and the guy that we were going to play, Twilight Imperium at his house, we're also missing out on three-week-old kitten play time. Oh. Well, the fight you said, oh off because that was the response from both girls. That's a three-week-old kid. But you know what, it's not to worry because if you follow their Facebook page, play the number 17 because he really gives the fans of this Dungeons and Dragons podcast

what they are looking for. He has actually been pretty good about updating us with various kitten pits. Okay, I'm actually going to send one to the Facebook message group. A kitten pitcher to the internet. Can I tell you where we don't need any more pictures of kittens? It's the internet. We got it. And you know what?

Everyone makes fun of the way you say picture. You said Kitten pits. So I wouldn't worry too much about the idea of pitcher. You did call a mush mouth a minute ago, but sure, I'll take that as a compliment. Okay, fine. Whatever. I wanna talk about this social media in real time, because they decide they need to not only update the Facebook,

but I think there's like tweets going out and shit. We have to hear about this as it's happening. Okay, I'm actually gonna send one to the Facebook message group. Yeah, but I'm taking a second and tweeting out this picture so that you can all see it, Jack. Oh my God. Is that shit? You can pull out of the podcast in post.

This woman talks about editing the podcast. And then I can't even believe that. I mean, that just means laying music under the beginning and ending. I think I think that's probably true. And mean, that just means laying music under the big getting and ending. I think I think I think I probably true. And then the guys is really into bored games. I can't tell what your doork this is. It doesn't matter. But he explains Jonathan the muscle is musculoskeletan. Probably dude, his name is Jonathan the Magi muscular. What does that even mean? I'm a real name is Jonathan. I know. I'm a big guy character. No creativity. What's up?

You're not doing a voice at least. Choose a different. Oh, fuck. All right. He talks about his Instagram account, which I can't wait to start following. This sounds amazing. I realize that my Instagram has been very neglected because normally on the weekends, I'm like posting board game picks and it's like, oh, I haven't been to play any board games because, uh, so normally

his Instagram account is booming with picks of his board games. Could you imagine a worse way to use Instagram? No, there is no worse way, but there's no worse way to use Instagram. No, there is no worse way, but there's no worse way to do it in the free time. Like this is what they're putting out there. I don't know if they have families. I don't know if they have friends. I don't know what their jobs are. But it seems that this consumes their life. And something about this and just from listening to

just sampling other D&D podcasts, most of it is just doing a bunch of improv, like trying to come up with ways you would react to different situations and things like that. And I didn't clip a whole lot of these. I wanted to put together a whole montage of them just trying to think of what to say next. But if you play my 18, you'll get a really good sense of what happens throughout this podcast

We can actually yeah That is Julia who is an annoying con. Oh man. I can't stand her. And the character voice she puts on. I mean, she sounds like she should do cartoon character voices. I would look into that as a career for her. If she's interested in doing something other than a D&D podcast, but that voice. Oh my, that voice. Listen to how, listen to how much affect she puts on her voice. She's definitely gonna find a real weird. A real weird. That hurts.

Is that the dungeon master? Is that the fucking dungeon master, Obo? I don't know. Do you know why Warren's nickname is Obo? She plays the Obo. She plays the Obo. So I listened to her put on that fucking affect, R.R.L.W.R.D. and it reminded me of that non-binary chick from they, them, there.

Okay, yeah, sure. And I just put together a little mashup. It's super obnoxious and annoying, but I feel like fucking with people. A real weird. A real weird. A real weird. A real weird. A real people. A real weird. What's to do? A real weird. What's to do? A real weird. What's to do?

A real weird. What's to do? A real weird. What's to do? All right, that was annoying. No, it's part of the course. But I really, I feel bad in that I do like to put together a decent amount of prep before I come on here.

This show is so difficult to pull clips from because even I took my dog for a walk and I just listened to the whole thing, but I would find myself like I would just come to after about 10 minutes and realize, I have an understood, a thing that's happening. So in dungeons and dragons, you would assume that they are fighting monsters

and as you said, casting spells and moving into different dimensions. Can you play my number 20? Because I just found this fascinating, the setup for this. I don't know. Problem that they have to solve. This Bernie has insisted that the two of you have straw hats to give to these modrons. Pettleschmick and Alistair Duke have heads of a

sword. Pettleschmick is a triangular shape with the point on the bottom and so there's the flat bit on the top that you can put a hat on. Alistair Duke is the small round one with the wings but the round bit has a hat. Felix is the starfish one whose face and head is technically the top part of the starfish. So I would like to know what do these hats look like? I'm glad you cooked that. I was gonna clip that dog. I was gonna clip that and then I lost the will to live. I just slowly fell over off of my chair. I cannot believe the decisions of what types of straw hats you're giving to these make believe monsters of whose heads I just described in excruciating detail. Doug, I was listening to the show throughout the week trying to just get a sense of what are

we gonna talk about and every time I turned it on I just zoned out had no idea what was going on. Luckily I'm not the only person who can't follow this fucking nonsense boring story even the people doing it Donathand's downstairs the the three of you have gone upstairs Jonathan and Carlton are still downstairs at the kitchen table I thought we were back down. Sorry. Yeah, who could possibly fucking know this whole story takes place in like someone's house And they're like drinking tea and Sherry and it's it's so fucking boring It's an hour twenty minutes of this I just said it takes place in a single location. Maybe three rooms. Nothing happens. This is an example of that

This is what's going on in an amazing fantasy land. I'm gonna say at this point you're hanging out in the kitchen as Cleo is making some more tea before you head to bed because it is starting to get late. This is the fucking fantasy that they have that they're drinking tea before bedtime! It's wrong with these people! Okay, so that brings me to one of the greatest things and anytime in listening to this several times my ears cracked up. In the middle of this, they break into advertisements for D&D shows that sound so much better than the one you're listening to. Play my number 19. If you enjoy having your

heartstrings pulled out of your chest, it was floundering for air, and weaving silently to yourself, because the less descriptions of literally anything will make you wish you to wear about to embark on an epic adventure with three killer ladies. That sounds like a D&D game where suckin' and fuckin' is goin' on and I am into it and I would listen to that not this. I got my dick in my head, just let's see to that little clip right there. I have another clip from that commercial. It's called The Venture Maidens. Is this other podcast they're promoting

in the middle of this? And tell me this makes you want to listen to Venture Maidens. So why should you care about The Venture Maidens? Well, if you like games that don't shy away from heartbreak and romance, this is the podcast for you. If you're looking for a podcast where character development is just as important as slaying monsters This is the podcast for you. And lastly, there's an episode where everyone does their best Godzilla impressions. You gotta hear it. Well, that's retarded. I'm out. Sorry. Don't fucking Godzilla impressions. And that's the selling point.

Godzilla impressions and that's the selling point Usually it sounds better than this dungeon of course it sounds better than this fucking show dude I thought that doesn't drag into a game. I've never played. I thought it involved rolling dice I thought that there were like hit points involved. These are the little things. I know about this instead I want to investigate the house I know about this. Instead, think I want to investigate the house. He wants to walk around the house and see if there's anything there And he has to rule a diet or the pull this off. If you would like to take more time I want an investigation check, but I'll give you advantage because of the lantern. I'm happy to investigate. That's kind of what I do. That is what you do. So yeah, if you're using the lantern and like you want to go into the main area

You want to go outside. you want to like sweep around Yeah, what'd you get? 19 Okay, Traven Core takes about five minutes. It's not like this is a huge temple house and you do a thorough kind of all around the area He's rolling a 20-sided die to figure out if he can investigate the area. And this brings up another thing because again, I'm not familiar with dungeons and dragons. I don't do that. Everybody has their own stupid and that's fine. If you're into this great, but the thing is, I don't understand, like I thought, as you said, they'd get weapons and they would upgrade and level

up and at the end of this show, the dungeon master, like it's whose line is it anyways? Like, I don't know. Here's 8 million points, divide them amongst yourselves, figure it out. See you next time. Oh, I have that clip right here. And so you'll find out what that is about later. For this is going to get weird.

For Mojo on hats, for masks, and for finally getting to the point in where we found the book The Traveling Core laid as a future pop point. Oh, so many weeks ago, I'm going to give you a total of 7,600 experience to split between the four of you. That doesn't make any sense, Rick. Yeah. I think there's a scoring system involved. We just spent an hour drinking tea in someone's house and everyone splits up

7,600 points. 7,500 points for drinking tea and looking around. Oh, shit. I mean, these people have no imagination and they're playing a game that requires an imagination. Yes. I would imagine this is mildly entertaining for the people playing it. I can't imagine anyone listening to this and enjoying it. No. And they do like to latch on to things that they think are funny. They talk about finding porn in the woods and everyone has to get in on this gag.

It's not like she found a bunch of porn in the woods or something. It's mine or I don't know. But like, I guess forest port, which is that little thing. It is an actual thing in Bernie. I'm going to say right now, Cleo, she knew we're all of the forest. Yeah, it's very good. They're great at finding forest porn.

Cleo, it almost would have been better if it were forest porn. I would think stop saying forest porn. Cleo. It almost looked better if it were forest porn, I would think. Stop saying forest porn! It's enough! We get it! Oh, he's just cleaning. Cleo's not one of them, is it? Is that just...

I don't know. Why am I asking? You're asking me. I do like when they get a little naughty and they crack themselves up with some of their jokes. This is a nut joke that this guy cracks himself up. Oh, god, yeah. I don't normally lock my door, but if there's something you need stashed, I'm more than happy to keep it locked and no one should be coming up here anyway. Yeah, I think we're, it's a work great. Who's got the nut?

Jonathan the Magi muscular, kind of like reaches into his pocket and fiddles with the nut. Did you, Bernie, did you say that or was that joules saying that? Bernie said that. God damn it, son of a bitch. Bernie, Bernie. I know, I'm trying to move on. I'm trying to move on super fast with him.

I don't know what you're talking about. I don't know what you're talking about. I mean, this is so childish and ridiculous of... I don't know, every podcast is ridiculous if you really think about it, but this was no different. That's not true. There are podcasts that are very good. There are very good podcasts out there. I don't have one. You don't have one, but some people do. All right.

I just, I just don't understand the purpose of something like this. If you're not giving me a reason to go back in this episode, if, if you didn't jump on at the very start, there is no reason for you to get into this now. And how far are they planning on taking this? Doug, I think you're wrong. They do explain what their mission is and what they're trying to accomplish. And hopefully we can provide just a tiny bit of entertainment.

Nope. All right. Let's talk about the beginning where they're discussing the drinks that they got. And this is Lauren, our friend, Obo, who was gifted mead and is way too excited about that. My lovely husband and I were gifted a bottle

of smirked and mead. Who gives a shit, who gives a fuck? And I was talking to my buddy, Chris the producer last night, and we were talking about the fact that I'm a big fan of drinking alcohol, and people explaining what drink they're drinking couldn't be more boring to me.

I don't know who the audience is for that. Why would I give a fuck, if I'm standing at a bar and someone's ordering a ridiculous cocktail, I'm just annoyed. Just grab a bottle of beer thing, just twist the top off, and then I can get my order in. I don't need to know about your concoctions. This is a trope of a lot of podcasts, which is we will drink

and do this. We will drink and talk about this and blah, blah, blah. But with something like this where I am hoping to be transported to a magical universe, the thing I care least about are the real people and their real lives. And they spend way too much time at the top just doing their own thing, talking about what's going on in their lives. And nobody cares. I mean, the one girl goes on and on about, oh, this beer, it's from a local brewery. Oh, yeah, let's talk about that.

Toronto and I. Let's talk about that. Julia, this is a clip that I call Julia is boring. All right. So I put down my knitting and pick up my beer. She had to put down, she's not a podcast mind you. She had to put down her knitting and pick up the beer that you want to do, describe to you.

And then like you said, she goes on and on about going to local breweries and purchasing beer. And then this is great. This comes out of fucking nowhere. She gets a real preachy. She's trying to explain how this beer tastes. That she's tasting for the first time and just makes a abrupt 90 degree turn into anti-racism.

But it's got a wonderful multi-easy taste. It kind of has this, like, if you ever walk into a brewery that smells a little bit like bread Mm-hmm. It's got it feels like being inside of some of my favorite breweries and that's a weird thing to describe But also on a last note If you can if you got a local Chinese place that you love and they're doing takeout please order from them Races and sucks. I didn't edit that. She goes, it's got a multi-flavored to it.

It reminds me of like freshly baked bread. And by the way, you fucking racist. You better start eating some Chinese food. You mother fuckers. Like, what the fuck did you have in there? And I like how she was like, you know how sometimes it smells like bread? And Obo's like, oh, yeah, that's pretty gross.

She's like, oh, I love it. It's my favorite smell. Right. I just pulled this ice out. You pulled this like these are all clips. I listened to this is all parts of the show. I listened to it. This is not worth pulling.

I'm glad you pulled these. I had nothing. Like I was so difficult for me to go through and pull anything because as we said before, once you hit like the 20 minute mark until the end, it's just nonsense and words that aren't real. Alright, let me pop through the rest of my clips and then we can move on to more important things. So I just pulled this ISO when she's talking about racism and everybody hops on board with how important that is.

Stupid racist, um. Stupid racist, um. You know, you're not gonna eat from Chinese food. You're not gonna eat Chinese food because I'm still gonna eat Chinese food, because I'm still not gonna eat rice. She was such a fucking annoying con. She even tells me how to live my life at one point. I don't drink and drive. Lick, lick, lick my balls.

Ha, ha, yeah. Don't tell me what to do. Do what I want. It's a fucking pandemic. And then this next guy talks about the beer that he's drinking. This is a travel core. And he speaks in the third person, which is something a lot of dorks do.

Good people to favor him. Traveling course this evening is flying to your own breweries, bloodline, blood orange ale. And let's look at that artwork on the bottle for little bits. Almost like, I kind of want to peel off this is label and just post it. So again, this is the guy who can't talk at all. He cannot talk. But he also is putting a visual into the podcast. Look at this label, everybody. Wow, look at

that label. I can't see the label. Thank God, I don't fucking care. But why are you talking about the label of your beer is if that's important? And also also I know you said he wants to Hey, oh, I should just stick this on to the dresser of my home But I used to do that 15 years ago and that's what I was thinking how old are these people? Oh, you haven't doing you haven't gone to their website. I mean you could you could find that out very easily I recommend they're not children. It's what They're not children. They're not children. These are grown-ass adults.

I thought they were so excited to be drinking because they just turned 21. No, no. This is them. Listen to how big a pussy's these people are. Talking about energy drinks. It's an energy drink that I don't get a crash from. When I drink the other ones that are just

like all sugar and chemicals, it's like after like a couple hours, you're like, I feel like garbage. This one is like, that's fine. Not just that, but like, then you get the awful caffeine headaches the next day and like the, it's bad, it's bad. What will, what will it all?

This woman's talking about energy drinks. She's hung over the next day from an energy drink. How big of a pussy could he possibly be? That's impossible. All right. Do I guys have work? Anything that's supposed to be alcohol? Like what is going on?

I know. The guy is drinking some type of beverage that has caffeine in it and alcohol, as if that's never been done before. Wow. Roman Coke, no shits. No, he can only do that though during the afternoon hours. Wow. Roman Coke. No shits. No, he can only do that though, during afternoon hours. Yeah, he doesn't have to sleep. So he did explain that.

I just have one more clip. I don't even know why I clipped it. Sure. Let's find out together. Yes. Are you going to tell Cleo anything except, or are you just going to do it? Oh, yeah. Oh, this is going to be, this is gonna get weird.

And Jonathan the Metmuscular does the somatic components on the nut to drop it and, oh, that's why I clipped it. Because this fucking dummy, literally like a child is acting out, whatever is happening, and being sound-defacts with this in mouth. These are grown-ass adults embarrassing themselves on the internet, and I thank them for that. Because we're not

sure what we're talking about. I thought there would be sound effects. I mean, I really did. I mean, we start with the old, I don't know, flutty music, whatever. I thought there would be sound effects. They're in a home, like, why isn't there crackling fire or something like that? I'm not saying that that would help immensely, but please don't don't make sound effects with your mouth. Idiots. Sounds terrible. This is the time in the show where we like to put a station ID in. Thanks Chris the producer for putting together our station ID right there. They're very important people know what they're listening to. What do you want to talk about next? I have a feeling I know the edge of that.

I want to talk about shame. Don't tell me you don't like my show. Don't tell me you don't like my show. Don't tell me you don't like my show. Don't tell me you don't like my show. Don't tell me you don't like my show. Don't tell me you don't like my show. Don't tell me you don't like my show. Don't tell me you don't like my show. Don't tell me you don't like my show.

Don't tell me you don't like my show. Don't tell me you don't like my show. Don't tell me you don't like my show. Because that's absurd. Sheamus McKillian, aka Patrick Michael, aka Todd, aka Gwitch Fredberg, aka Kirby Roosevelt. I can't wait to talk about his new show, Dead Town. So amazing. Carl, I've told you many times that I listened to your podcast all the time

and I've never listened to any show that you've reviewed more than once except for any show that she was host. It's unbelievable. And I only found this because it was advertised on a good job. Thank you. Let's see, only way I found this and you've talked about this. He has so many podcasts, but there's no way to find them. I think Choudgum went away. He hasn't had a new good job. Thank you in about two months. And I'm so happy to find this show,

which is a paranormal show. Well, I'll tell you what the tag line is. It's cults. Please do. cults crimes, conspiracy, urban legends. Or why not? Why not, right? And I love that he says this up at the top of the show

because he wants to explain to everybody things are gonna get a little bit crazy. So turn the lights on. Grab a friend because you won't want to listen alone. Alright you hear that? Grab a friend dog. This is going to get scary. You are not going to want to be alone. I listened to episode number five.

We'll talk about episode number four in a minute. Let's talk about episode number five of that down. He goes over these two children games. One is called, what is a father's stiff as a board? The other is called body Mary. So you just heard this is going to get fucking creepy turn on the lights, grab a friend. He explains what this game is. Ladies and Fathers, tip is a board. You're sitting there, chanting this over and over again. Ladies and Fathers, tip is a board.

Ladies and Fathers, tip is a board. And you can levitate. And that's not something that ever happened to me, but the stories I would hear from not only my siblings, but also their friends. They've seen people lift off the ground. Okay, they've seen people become light as a feather, stiff as a board. Whoa, okay, so I understand now why we have the creepy music playing. It's like, whoa, people are are Lamentating and then he goes on to explain how this works. So essentially it is just a trick where everybody has to lift equally and if they don't it doesn't work but I was under the assumption when I was growing up that it could just be two or three people. So I don't know if you know this dog, but it's just a trick.

I guess my response to that would be It's amazed by every stupid little thing that is nonsense and it's been proven wrong time and time again. He is amazed by this stuff Well, did you clip I didn't clip anything from five did you clip when he admits what a loser he was and he goes I never did this but my siblings like they would have sleepovers and they would have friends over They would do stuff like this. Yeah, everything they's talking about with these two games were games that you play when you're a little kid You have sleepovers and it gets dark out and you try to do

like these things to be spooky or scary or friends. And it was only like through the eyes of his siblings who had friends talking about this. However, I'm glad you listened to this episode too. However, he does explain that I think maybe he kind of hung out with his younger brother and sister and tried these games as well. You know, let's all see if we can float.

It's like after your third try, you're like, this doesn't make any sense because I'm never floating. I've never lifted off the ground. So, this game we're just gonna levitate is, doesn't make any sense because after his third try, it didn't happen. It didn't make any sense before your first try You fucking retard Guys this thing doesn't work. I tried it three times in a row. It didn't work The most ominous music Him basically saying this bullshit. He should just play like yackety sacks under the entire podcast And it would make so much more

sense. Oh, I got a better idea. How about this? And then he can talk about what he marry. What he marry is a game that we've documented on this show way back in the day. It's really scary. You look in the mirror and you say bloody Mary three times. And then bloody Mary appears. So, whoa, I'm getting creeped out. And then... And then Gwitchf Fredberg explains how this works.

Staring into a mirror in a dimly lit room for prolonged periods can cause one to hallucinate. And I have some weird stories about that because for some reason when I was a kid, I would stay the night in my friend Cody's house and what we would do with that. For some reason in the middle of the night, we'd be playing like twisted metal, and then we'd stop, and we would just take turns going in the bathroom, staring at ourselves, and making faces, and laughing until our faces actually hurt.

Does any of this make sense? Oh my God. Oh my God. Well, very specific details. Twisted metal with Cody. Oh, he's a shit. This is so dumb. But he's got only the other person listening to this.

But he's got this Halloween sound effects volume 7 CD playing in the background. And he's talking about making faces of the mirror and cracking themselves up. Oh, yeah, I was like putting tape over my nose and around the back of my head. It was so great. That's not a dude, buddy, Mary.

Were they doing this in a dimly lit room? Nothing to do with it. But this dummy just thinks about, oh, staring in the mirror, I have a story about that. Like, well, that's not even closely connected to what you're talking about. And it doesn't fit with anything that's going on. I don't even know if he knows what show he's doing while he's talking because he does so many fucking show. He doesn't even know what's still going on.

It's stopped. I just had many fucking show. He doesn't even know what's still going on. It stopped. I just said, there's a good chance. He does. There's a good chance that in all of this stuff, about 20 minutes in, he doesn't know if he's still doing a nine minute podcast. Right. What's going on? How, how could he possibly know?

They're all the same. So then all the same. This is the last clip I have from episode number five. And again, shout out to the podcast hitman who just keeps sending me information about these shows. But this is him talking about how he stares into the mirror. And we can all relate to that. Because I know about the only one that has done that just looking at yourself in the mirror for a long time, doing stupid faces and shit. Yeah, you start to trip. And it's because you're going to another dimension,

you're going to another reality. No, I don't know. That's not true at all. First off, no one staring at the mirror making faces, we're all adults. Secondly, if you do do that, you don't start to trip, you embarrass yourself. It's what happens. I love the assertion. You don't start to trip. You embarrass yourself is what happens. I love the assertion. You're going to different dimension. That's fucking amazing, isn't it? Oh boy. And he does that all the time.

If I could jump into episode four, because I think that this is a nice transition here. My favorite thing that James does, he does it in all of his shows multiple times, is when he makes an assertion. Like a confident assertion and then immediately undercuts it by firmly admitting that he's a moron. Point my number five. You got it. If you've seen a smartphone and used one at any point, there's a good chance you'll never be a ghost. Why? I don't know. Ha exist. I'm skeptical about it.

And then he goes, you ever notice how ghosts aren't shaped like people? You've never seen, you know, how are they shaped? What are they shaped? What do you watch in Casper? What are we talking about? If he played my number six, this is when he really says, you know, sort of the line lines what you're saying when he talks about the fact that he does not believe, but by the end of the show, it almost sounds like he has been beaten down and accepts the fact that ghosts must be real. I'm skeptic, okay?

I don't believe there could be ghosts. Now like I said, I'm a skeptic. That's why like I said, most of you out there that are also skeptical like me, there is the opportunity, I guess, when you die to come back as a ghost and haunt. He mentioned at one point, he says, there's no way ghosts could exist because they would be haunting people all the time. Like, wouldn't you take up that opportunity if you could like haunt your grandma? Wouldn't you do that?

I was like, what kind of logic is that? I'm talking about why. No, that makes any sense. All right, this is, I think you probably pulled this too because it's just too funny. He's recording this spooky ass podcast at 4am.m. but he wants to explain that he's not afraid. I'm not a full believer. I don't I don't I sit here in the it's 4 o'clock in the morning

right now. And I'm not sitting here worrying about who's some ghost is going to push my door open or move a table leg. I'm not worried about that because it doesn't make sense. Correct. Very good, Shamus. A ghost moving your coffee table at 4 a.m. doesn't make sense. It's just like how I'm not afraid of sharks being in my basement right now. Or that an airline hijacker is going to come down to my basement or that I'm not afraid of like a Mexican being here. It doesn't make any sense. I did be worried about how he's going to watch his kids the next day on zero hours of sleep. I know. To net me the thing that he's worried about.

Does he set his alarm? And he's like, Carly, I gotta listen, I can get in three hours of podcasting right now before the kids even get out of bed. Or do you think she is telling him this is the only time he's allowed to podcast now? Maybe. Maybe he has to sneak into the closet and then he's going to get out of bed, or do you think she is telling him this is the only time he's allowed to podcast now?

Maybe, maybe he has to sneak into the closet with the bed sheets and do these podcasts because Carly's so annoyed with them. She's on the front line of fucking COVID-19 in this asshole that's talking about, I'm skeptical about ghost, man. I'm not sure if they're real. She's a scryze.

I like at the beginning of this, before he really gets into the podcast, he asks a question that is important because he needs to know the answer to this so that he can understand how to get people to find his show. Play my number two. You found the podcast because honestly, I don't know how you would have. And that's a very weird thing for me trying to figure out or decipher in my own mind how somebody finds a new podcast because I don't know how you would do it. Wow.

And normally, I mean, I don't know Carl, you listen to podcasts for this show, but if you're interested in a certain subject or topic, you might search that in Apple Podcasts, perhaps. Like, I don't know anybody who's typing in, like, I'd like a podcast that is exactly nine minutes long. Maybe I want a podcast that is self-agregulatory. I'll just type in good job. Thank you.

Who's searching for movie podcasts by type Ian Chud Gum. He's amazing because He says I don't know how you'd find a podcast and he makes his podcast impossible to find And so he is correct. He is correct There's no reason why anyone would find his podcast and now people are finding his podcast because of WATP But if it weren't for the show, he'd still be talking to seven people. And almost like he's going out of his way to make it difficult to find. And it makes me wonder, since he's making that three cents per download,

I wonder if there's some stipulation there where you cannot be the same content creator for each of the podcast because if I like a podcast, I will look for the little name of the person who made it. Click on that and it will show me all of their other shows. He doesn't have that many of his podcasts. All right, let's get into that. I did some investigating today. Great.

And he starts off one of these episodes, actually all of these episodes of Dead Down with the anchor.fm promo. You can also now make money from your podcast with no minimum listenership. That means only two or three episodes, only 10 or 15 listeners, you still make money. You could make money without listenership. If you have two or three episodes, 10 or 15 listeners, you still make money. And you just mentioned three cents a download. I

went ahead and did some research to figure out what are they actually paying podcasters for downloads. And I found a guy named Jerry Banfield from the Jerry Banfield show. And he has a YouTube video explaining exactly how this works. How much money have I made podcasting on anchor.fm within the first three months of switching? This is the data for you. You can take a look at it. You can see 74,080 plays, $172 in my wallet, but actually I took some kind of small payout So the total number I've actually earned all time is 183 What I didn't do read

188 dollars and 73 cents. Are you following this so far? Sure, okay. This guy said 74,000 this so far. Sure. Okay. This guy said 74,000. Listen's. He's made $188 and he goes on to do the math for us. That's the all time amount I've earned in three months. So that's like $60 a month, which you might think sounds pretty good. Nope. Let's take a look at the CPM. The cost per listen. I don't know why I said CPM, just disregard half what I say. This, what I did to get this data, let's show you this. We went to check out this guy's show. He's like wonderful.

He might be not sorry, I'm so glad. I'm stating him. I divided, I took $188, whatever this number was. Jerry, I'm telling you, I'm telling $188, whatever this number was. Jerry, I'm telling you, $188.73. And I divided it by $74,080. This gives you the amount I'm getting per listen. That means every time one person listens to my podcast, I get about a quarter of a cent, which means when 10 people listen to my podcast, I get about a quarter of a cent, which means when

10 people listen to my podcast, I get two and a half cents. A hundred people listen, I get 25 cents. A thousand people listen, I get $2 and 50 for 55 cents. Okay. So I want to have a show. Can I come back on? Is it a map show? I want to come back on. It's a Jerry Bairnfield wanna have a show. Can I come back on as a good map show?

I wanna tell you this game. It's a Jerry Bairnfield with my calculator show. So I went ahead and did the math and what Shamus was talking about in his promo. He said, and I'm gonna use the larger numbers. He said if you have two or three episodes, let's go with three, 10 or 15 listeners, go with 15, That's 45 downloads at 0.25 pennies per

you're looking at 11 cents that you're gonna make off of your podcast using anchored.fm. Now listen, I am not a mathematician, I'm not an economist, I'm not an accountant. I'm pretty sure 11 cents is the same as zero It's the same as having zero money. That is nothing that is literally a waste of everybody's time Why is he promoting this is this is a fucking big deal? You have to have listeners and you can make money You think I hear that fam. Hey, uh, shameers. I know you don't have a job and you never will

But people actually earn a lot more money than that for their time when they're good at stuff a lot more It's not even at the table as a possibility like well, you know if this Engineering thing doesn't work out. I can always podcast on anchor. Not at fab and make 11 cents for 45 lessons He had to have realized this at some point. Like he has to have already received his payout and understood that this probably isn't worth the time. It takes him to record these intro. It reminds me of the episode of the Sipsids, where Homer is selling Greece. March by his bacon. March by his bacon. He cooks it. takes the grease, sells it for way less than what the bacon costs and didn't understand the math behind it.

I don't know why I'm exploiting everything here. Let's talk about science. Let's talk about science real quick because what Shamist was talking about is the fact that his trailer home isn't haunted, but what probably is haunted are graveyards, because that's where all the dead people are. This is the most active place because it has to be scientifically. That's where the dead people are. That's where the ghost should be.

Scientifically, that's where the ghost should be. It's what he set out his podcast. I don't know how to say something dumber than that. I honestly don't, I can't figure out a window to say something dumber than that. And that's scientific or sorry, that's skeptically speaking too. I mean, I'm a skeptic, but scientifically, the dead people, the ghosts have to be at the cemetery. Fucking moron. I have a long clip to play.

It's about a minute long. Okay. But the whole point of this podcast is that he tells stories and he tries to wrap ghosts or levitation or whatever into his life. So for this podcast, he wants to tell a ghost story about an experience that he had. Here is the entire story. It's my number seven.

A friend of mine, he made it a point that we were going to run into some sort of a ghost. Because he had heard stories about the cemetery where we grew up, if you parked next to this very large headstone on a flat plane, put your car neutral, you would be pushed out of the way of that headstone. And we're sitting in the car, sitting in the car, just waiting, being quiet, and then we start to move, and we start to move slowly. We literally got pushed until we were out of the way of that stone and then we stopped. But that's not where it ends you guys. So we decided to go back again the following week.

Someone had told us to put flower on the trunk of the car, because you could allegedly see handprints on the back of the car where it was being pushed. We go through the same routine. We go back there, we look at the flower, nothing. That's the entire story. This is a 35 minute long podcast. And that's all he says. That's the entirety of this show. Because what he has to do is he has to extend this and drag this story out for as long as possible with filler nonsense like my number 8 if you want to play that.

Oh, we're not going to talk about that story. I'll see that. The friend of mine who I'd known forever, he never actually had his own license. Never. Because he had gotten in trouble for driving before he was of legal age. Got in trouble again when he was finally of age because he just kept driving. He was always driving somebody's car. Never his own, but he was driving a car nonetheless. I think it was like an oh four Honda Civic.

I'm so good he pulled this part. I was like, my ass off at that when he's describing the type of car that he was driving. Or yeah, I think it was a Civic, a red Civic, okay? Okay. Like, I'll get in a car if I know exactly where we're going. We're going from point A to point B. But if I get in a car and we're just doing whatever, I'm liable to just find myself very heated. Because I just want to go home, not only go home, but I want to be in control as to when we do go home.

What does that say about me? I don't know. There's nothing to do with the story. and we do go home. What does that say about me? I don't know. There's nothing to do with the story. There's nothing to do with anything. It's just in coherent rambling, just to make this stretch out to a normal podcast length. It did remind me though of one of the reviews

on the nine minute podcast that came in from Captain Redcock. Captain Redcock says, Wardig, do not listen to this as you're driving or else you may be inclined to veer into oncoming traffic with no seatbelt on or any situation where suicide is easy for that matter. Five stars. I don't know if that's why he's afraid to ride with other people because he knows that he bores the shit out of them and they might commit suicide. But it's as good a theory as any, I suppose. Yeah. This is wild. And Carl, we can talk about that story all you want because it's the biggest little bullshit I've ever heard. So they go to a cemetery. They stop their car

and put it in neutral. And then the car moves slowly. And he says says we're not on a hill We're not an any type of incline and the car moves. So their brilliant idea is Let's put some flower down so we can see where the ghost is pushing it from And I'm like whoa what's gonna happen to you guys there were no fingerprints like okay This is the worst story. There's no payoff fingerprints like okay this is the worst story there's no payoff the worst storyteller in the history of telling stories you guys won't believe what happened to me absolutely nothing wow no shit he doesn't believe that there could be slightly different grades or that a road could be sloped when you don't think it can especially they're driving through a cemetery.

I don't know who paves those roads, but I'm sure they're not doing a great job of it. Here's the thing. If you're going to have a format of your show where you talk about yourself, just like this podcast we just listened to, the D&D Dorks, who explain their lives, have an interesting life, have something to talk about.

Fucking Patrick Michael does nothing. He doesn't leave his house. He doesn't have a job. He has no friends. And then he wants to go on shows and tell stories. Your stories are fucking dull. You're a boring person to listen to. He's super boring. And none of his stories have to do with anything that happened last week or probably last year It's all when I was a kid when I was sleeping over my friend's house in the eighth grade when I took swimming for the 14th time Like nothing yet. Nothing recent in his life is worth talking about that is odd I find it very strange

When you're an adult and you talk about shit that happened in high school. Sure. That is a weird thing. Talking about things. It doesn't seem like it was a great time in his life. No. Taking speech class for the second time, I couldn't tell you which classes I took or how many times I took them.

I moved on from that. He wasn't captain of the football team. No. He wasn't valedict wasn't captain of the football. No, it was a valedictorian or captain of the football team. He talks a lot about high school. I just have this. He wasn't drowning in cheerleader pussy in high school. I just have this clip about is a cemetery haunted. Haunted when you actually think about it though is a cemetery haunted? Because the idea of a haunting the definition of a haunting is Dwelling I don't know. I don't know the definition. Okay. I'm not even gonna look it up because I don't care enough But what I'm getting at simply is when it comes to haunting it feels like a place they're not supposed to be.

This fucking guy is doing a ghost show and he goes, you know what haunting is? I have no idea. I'm not even gonna, I'm not even gonna try to educate myself. I don't want it now. Okay. Like how this leads into and I didn't do this part but this leads into him. The fact that he thinks ghosts go places where they're not allowed to be or the ghost go places that they have no connection to. He talks about how ghosts just hang out at a silence and stuff just because they can do it now that they're dead. And I'm like, you dipshit all those things about dead past patients. He thinks that's where they want to be hanging out?

I guess it's time to kill. In life, I could never go to an asylum. And then when it goes, they could just look right through the wall. I guess. What a dip shit. Oh my god. No, I don't. One thing after you guys played his stand up, I guess it was on the last episode,

the episode before you're 200, right? We've been playing and standing up not stop. I don't know. Every episode. Well, I got more stand up to play now. I'm really starting to think that all of these shows are him just testing material. Play my number four. Someone very close to me actually lives right across the street from a cemetery. And I'm telling you right now I wouldn't do that if you got a choice Why would that be one of them if you got a choice to live anywhere else? Why choose by a cemetery? At that point you're asking to be haunted

Yeah, that's like a bad bit. It sounds like one of his stand-up bets. You're right That's probably where he's coming up with all these great bits. Is he just rambling about nonsense? It's like, oh, that's pretty good. I'll write that one down. Kill Tony's gonna love it. I just want to endorse Dead Town right now. I want to tell everyone that this is the best thing

that he's doing at this very moment. I can't get enough of this guy. I can't get enough I'm talking about how to play Bloody Mary or the time that when he was a kid, his friend had drove a civic that didn't belong to him, like everything about this show is amazing. It really is. And I have yet to dig into episodes one through three. I'm very excited though. Yeah, I probably, I probably won't. What else you want to play from this? I want to play. First of all, this is just for your board. One of my favorite things you play is the Rain Man clip. I love it so much.

So if you play my number nine, this is just for you to hold on to if you want. Go so fucking lame, dude. That's what it is. Go suck. Okay. So at the end of these shows, and again, I don't know, I only listened to two, but I'm assuming, at the end, he reads brief stories related to the topic he was just discussing. So he reads like two stories about cemetery hauntings, and he clearly does not read this

stuff beforehand. And he reads a story about a dead five-year-old boy. And he finally has this weird moment of clarity about the consequences of being a shitty parent. Clearly, this is what I heard this time. I just get back. I was like, did it? Wow, I couldn't even believe it. It's my number 11. But another legend is that of a young five-year-old Johnny Moore house. He supposedly fell into a canal and froze to death. Awful.

My parents weren't watching there at kids. Parents. Parents. I should fall into it now. Ah! Oh no! Oh no! He finally realized what could happen to his children.

He's literally... He's podcasting the closet all day and all night. He's literally not watching his kids. Oh, that's funny. And I didn't pull this, but a few seconds later, he talks about this kids grisly death and goes, I didn't want to read this on my podcast. I got it out. You're not doing a livestream, you num-nuts? Cut it out. What a fucking idiot. Anything else you want to play from Dead Town? All right, cool.

Then let's talk about Patrick Michael's new standup. He is, he is feeling empowered at this point. He got on Killtony. Tony Hinchcliffe said he had a joke that was pretty good. And now he thinks that everything he thinks of is comedy and he's gonna put it out there for the world. He does two minutes on Corona virus and

I don't I don't know if there's anyone who has a hot or take on this Then Patrick Michael. Here's one thing that bothers me the most about Corona virus. Obviously because horrible pandemic That's bothersome, but Does the guy that names Hurricanes also the same guy that names viruses? Because they're never good. Like if this was named like fucking slaughter virus, people would probably take it more seriously, especially children, these teenagers that are going out and partying and whatnot. If you called it

kill virus, people are gonna pay more attention. And I say this because I looked on the back of a lice awkain, and one of the other viruses or diseases that is known to kill is something called duck hepatitis B virus. Now it's cracking itself up. I mean, I'm not, I'm one of those people that's like, I don't want anybody else to be the reason that I die. But to die of some fucking hepatitis called duck hepatitis, I'm going to feel even a weirder.

Like I feel like those are the type of people that come back and haunt this motherfucker. I died of duck virus, bro. I wasn't ready. Okay. I'm in hangout with ducks. How to happen. I've never even ate ducks That's a greasy meat. Oh But now all of a sudden I'm dying from duck hepatitis B And that's what made me think that maybe the same guy who names her canes is the same guy the names of viruses

He's like what about just duck? Oh Shit, I don't know I mean, I guess what can I get out of here? I gotta Trying to try to go to lunch He thought that was a funny comedy bit He's like he's like I don't know if you guys know about this doc type of title is B, but I don't even hang out with ducks. In fact, it meant 10 burgers. That way it might be funny. This guy is so fucking stupid. He has no idea how to

formulate how many. I'm not saying it would be a good joke, but if that was the joke, it wouldn't be as bad as this. He won't stop talking. He won't get out of his own way. He won't. And what's with the looney tunes music? I didn't. I didn't end that. He puts that in. He can't hear his kids crying. It's so awkward. It doesn't make any sense. So he goes duck up a tennis bee. I don't even eat ducks because that's a greasy meat What the fuck Do you think the guy who names hurricanes also names viruses that was the premise? That was the jumping off point that he just did Do you realize that hurricanes are named after people so the premise is stupid?

Yeah, it doesn't make any sense at all. And coronavirus has been around for a long time. This fucking guy, it's unbelievable. That's great. I hope he never stops doing this. I know it's crazy, but I absolutely love it. He definitely will not, because now that he's famous, he's been on Killtony, he's been reinvigorated. He is going balls to the wall right now,

and I'm excited about it. I'm thinking about starting a podcast that no one can find on Anchor.fam that just talks about his podcast, but I won't tell you where it is, and I'll use a different name, and you'll never hear it. That sounds like a great business plan. If I can get 75,000 downloads, I can make $188.

$60 bucks a month sounds pretty good. I know it's your chicken. $60 bucks a month sounds amazing. Nope. I feel like he wants to make it big. I mean, that is really clear, but he has no plan. And it almost seems like everything he's doing is wrong. Like everything he's doing is getting the way of any of these shows taking off. The fact that he names them bizarre nonsense. Nobody's

going to be able to find the fact that he gives up after three episodes and just tries to do something different. I don't understand. You don't think as strategy as sound, is that what you're saying? I guess not. All right. I do need to talk about something very important. Obviously, Vic Henley passed away. And Vic Henley, I didn't realize only 57 years old.

Vic Henley, stand up comedian that Croszier and I broke down his latest stand up special. How is real on a recent bonus episode? I talked last week and episode 200 that he wasn't long for this world. It was a joke. Turns out I was right. And I have to say, right now, during this pandemic is a terrible time for celebrities to die. You got like John

Prime and Kenny Rogers and no one talks about it. But the good news for Vic Henley is that he was never a celebrity. So this is a fine time. It actually works out okay. Is that Kenny Rogers thing? That was barely a blitz on my radar guy. I know. So Opie back when he was doing the show when Anthony was fired and they were doing a morning show with Jim Norton He was talking about These tweets that were going back and forth between him and Anthony and this is before they were on the outset They're on now and this was very interesting I just

want to give a shout out to Bryce Mehan who found this and sent this over to me. So I thanked him on Twitter and then I commented about how crazy Stuttering John was and then he commented how yeah he's really crazy and then it called me a lightweight saying I wouldn't be able to hang with him because I was telling Aunt on Twitter that uh Stunner and John was texting me all weekend. He wanted me to go drink with him and I told Aunt on Twitter that I was hiding from him and then he goes that's a good idea because you're a lightweight. And then I said, are you calling me a fucking lightweight Twitter conversation over? And that's how it is. I love it. Thank you Nikki Glazer. So OP admitted that he was avoiding Centering Jacks, he did not want to hang out with them.

And Anthony agreed you should definitely avoid Centering Jacks and not hang out with them. I thought that was great. That was great. That's a good story to tell. By the way, nice dog, if that is your real name. Yeah, sure. I want to promote something that I'll be doing on Friday, Friday, April 17th at 8pm Eastern time.

The isotopes will be performing for the internet. We have a live stream that will be performing out of comedy at the Carlson. You can go to theisotopes.com to find where that will be. It's on YouTube. And anyone in the world can check out the isotopes performing live. Unfortunately, our Google dancers, I'll have COVID-19, it won't be there, but the band will be there performing. So check that out.

I mean, I won't, but other people can. Theisotopes.com in order to see that. So the other thing I wanted to talk about this week, because I mentioned last week, I'm done with Howard Stern. I just, I can't take it anymore. And someone posted in our subreddit, this video of him singing a song to his wife on his show from earlier this week. So I put together a little package on what Howard Stern is up to. Because this

is just embarrassing. He's lost it. This is the shock, shock of all shock, shocks. The guy who started it all. And here's him tuning up his guitar and explaining to Robin that he's got a song that he wrote for Beth. I'm working on this song for Beth. Tell me if you think she'd like it. I haven't played it for a yet. My guitar playing is pretty limited, so. Because I was feeling very appreciative about her cleaning the house.

And I thought I should write a song for her, but maybe she won't like it. Well, let's hear it. Well, easy for you to say. I'm trying to... You're trying to remember what you did? Yeah. Oh boy. This already can't be good. Did you listen to this and I'll doggie? Yeah, you, okay, first of all, just a peek behind the curtain here. Last evening, you sent me six hours of the house to shoot. Yeah, I listened to about two of you.

And it's only because I do I am a serious XM subscriber. I haven't listened to Howard honestly in months and there's something comforting in realizing I haven't missed anything like Howard Stern is still an irrational lunatic. Oh great, fantastic. But like this was really, really difficult to listen to because I loved the guy. I really did. I mean, you know, I used to, I used to skip school. I used to pretend I was sick so I could stay home from school in like elementary school, middle school and listen to Howard Stern. That's how much I loved him and it's kind of super sad. Yeah, let's listen to how sad it is.

So this is his first take, a singing this song that he wrote for his wife, Beth. I'm not Eddie Van Halen, I can't say. You know, I got to look at the guitar. Right. Beth is the per... Beth is the perfect, perfect wife. She loves Chlorox and Lysol White. Alright, so you can kind of get a sense of where this is going.

True dude, it goes on and on like that. Oh, it sure does. Now, this is him at the beginning of the show on Monday. This is from April 6th. He starts off the show with, I got this song, I wrote my wife, I want to hear it Rob and oh yeah, this is great, you're going to love this. He can't even figure out how to use his equipment. I remember he's in the Hamptons at his house, at his mansion, trying to broadcast from there

without all his handlers and producers, and this is what happens. Life with Beth is like a dream. She protects me from COVID-19. She... I don't like this, um, can't sing my song to my wife, because I'm squealing. Yeah.

Yeah, I don't like it either. It sounds like fucking garbage. You're a professional radio broadcaster, figure it out. Could you please, could you please figure that out? So let's get into what the jokes are in this song, shall we? Oh yeah. All right, so you're going to hear a little bit of a verse and you'll notice that there's not one but twoet jokes. that makes me whole and she cleans my streaks from the toilet bowl. All right, so this is embarrassing. Obviously, pretty embarrassing.

And this is after he fucks through this song at the beginning, he mentions that he wants to play it later when Beth's in the room and then of course Robin says stuff in laughs at her salvage she always does. Let's zoom in on Robin on this clip. I should play it for her later. She wanted to be more poetic. Come on. That's my beautiful song ever heard. As opposed to coming right out Robin I just heard the most beautiful song Ask me who wrote it. I'll who wrote it. I did okay So this is neither fun nor funny and

He's explaining to Robin that he's gonna play this song again Now he's given out all of the jokes. He's played the entire song at the beginning of the show Only to play this song again, and I don't know if you know how comedy works, but it's not as funny the second time It's funny the first time because you don't know what's gonna happen Yeah, so this is such a difficult and upsetting situation So this is such a difficult and upsetting situation. So Howard Stern can't get away from Beth and those cats. Beth can't get away from being on this show. I mean, normally in the show,

they try and call Beth and she's never there. She wants nothing to do with that. She'll pick up. These two, this marriage is going to end. This COVID thing will destroy a second marriage for this dude. I guarantee it. So Beth comes into the room a couple hours later. They're still doing the show and Howard wants to set up that he's going to sing

her this amazing song that he wrote. All right. Let me sing in this song. Maybe they'll cheer you up. You really wrote a song? Yeah. Is this going to know it's about how much I appreciate you cleaning the house. To blow my nose.

Go ahead honey. Don't blow your nose in the middle of my song Oh God here goes my headphones again. Yep. Oh boy. This is a lot of fun for people now Listen to how this song ends. This is so douchey because You got to remember that Howard Stern is fighting above his weight class. Oh, I don't think that's all. That is not his bank account though. Yeah, yeah, right.

I don't think that's all the most gorgeous girl in the world, but should she be fucking Howard Stern, not in any world that would ever exist. And so of course he has to end the song with the doucheous lyrics. We'll be together till the end. That's not just my mate, she's my best friend. See, she liked it. Fucking thing sucks.

It's so embarrassing. Now, I want to take you back in time. You mentioned you listened to Howard's certain show when you were in elementary and middle school. You remember from back in the day, there was a comedian named Joe Piscopo. A Joe Piscopo is very much in love with his second wife, very similar to what we're seeing here. And he decided they were in a song for her. And that song sounds a littleo married his babysitter. The babysitter do his child with his first wife. They met when she was 18. He later started dating her and shockingly the girl's dead wasn't thrilled

about it. So this was funter for the Howard Search show back when it was funny. And I just have a quick clip, I listen to like an eight minute bit today of Howard's turn making fun of this. And it's so funny that he has become what he's goofing out here. Can we get to the daddy part yet that I'm... No, daddy's coming up.

Okay. He's fighting with the melody. You got a real... You got a real... You got a real hard on against Kimberly's father, man. I don't think it's right to go on TV and sing this. Think about your dad and law. Your father and against Kimberly's father man I don't think it's right to go on TV and sing about your dad and law your father and law and really I don't think you're one of the audience who could relate to

Joe's side of this story I mean you could understand being I know if my daughter brought home a 40-year-old guy you'd be a little upset I feel a little bummed especially if you're in high school right especially if you was a babysitter you know I mean the girl was still in school. I just want to point out dog Howard sir to Bethel Stroski are 18 years apart in age Here's a goofing out of like yeah, I mean if my daughter came home with a guy way older. I'd be fucking crazed about that What just happened whoops This is the content for this shit like I understand I'm sure they're struggling for content

and they're struggling for stuff to do. Ain't probably didn't write this song, right? Fred probably wrote this, right? Maybe. But what's amazing is what Howard will do is he'll do a bit and then the next day he'll talk about how everyone was praising him for his bit and he'll read a bit. And then the next day, he'll talk about how everyone was praising him for his bit. And he'll read all the emails that came in. And this was no different. Even though this song is embarrassing and cringeworthy and the opposite of what any Howard Stern family would want to hear, he says this.

Oh God. A lot of people seem to like my song yesterday. I wrote the best. I wrote the best. Really? She got, she loved every line. She banged me yesterday afternoon because of it. I thought that there were a couple of lines that she might not like. She loved it all. Well, she knows I got to be funny.

I can't just, you know, right? Well, there's funny and then there's funny. What are they talking about? I don't know. There was nothing funny about that song. And that's when he became the greatest interviewer on Planet Earth. That's when the day after those interviews, that was a real tough show for me to listen to.

Because that's all it was was him reading listener comments. Oh yeah. He raised his interview deal. It would just be like 55 year old men saying, I never even heard a Billy Eilish, but then your interview with her was the most amazing, most compelling thing I've ever heard. Like, what are you talking about?

You were talking to a 16 year old about her fucking fingernails. Well, it's compelling. The lady Gaga was so hot, so you pointed it at her. I don't know. I know. So, he explains that he got a lot of positive feedback.

And usually, when he says that, he starts reading all these emails that came in. Who knows, maybe they're fake. He couldn't cope with a fake email. Guess who he got positive feedback from. My daughter wrote me a text and said, Dad, that's a great song. I'm very impressed. I said the tune was good. Well, we need to work on your lyrics.

Well, for once I agree with Rob. For once. Now, how funny is that? Everyone loved my song yesterday. My daughter sent me a text and then he moved on. There were no emails right? There was no feedback from his fans on that and if you have enough fans Someone's gonna like what you're doing even when it's terrible

But no No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Oh, it's fucking hysterical. This guy has jumped to the shark. I'm officially done with them. And let's talk about why I'm officially done listening to Howard Stern. When he came back, he was off for a week in March. It was the week where everything shut down. Right after the St. Patrick's Day week, I think it was the 14th of 15th. And then we had that week where

Cuomo just started shutting everything down and Howard was off the air because he had a planned vacation. He comes back on March 23rd and this is so embarrassing. This is what it sounded like when he came back on the air. I'm just really fucking annoyed and it's like everyone else, but so I'm on my computer on a thing called zoom. And that's how we're broadcasting to you today. So it sounds really weird.

I don't know what it sounds like. It's an effort to even hear ourselves. We don't have headphones. It's not what we call our usual broadcast. Doug, he doesn't have headphones. Does he have headphones? This is a Zoom? We're doing this on Zoom.

They did that Zoom. We were, he doesn't have, we were tapping your hair before him. This is how I'm teaching my classes. This is a free software. What are you doing? He's using Zoom to do the Howard Stern show on SiriusXM. He doesn't have a microphone. He's using his laptops mic, as you can tell,

because this is like garbage. And he doesn't have a headphone. He would own a headphone into your house. I can't even believe this, because you sent this to me. As I said, I do subscribe to serious, but I haven't been listening. So you sent this to me.

I'm listening to this on my phone this morning. And at one point, he goes, we're only gonna do an hour. I'm like, thank God, I can't listen to this. I look down. There's two hours and 20 minutes left. I was like, what the fuck? And then I had to listen to him talk to Jimmy Kimmel

for an hour. I couldn't stand it. So he explains, this is the week of the 23rd. They do three shows a week, Monday through Wednesday. He explains that it sounds like shit this week, but next week will sound great. This is gonna be an abbreviated show. Just to let you know, we're trying to get our regular

brood kit set up. And the reason it's taking a long time, I'm gonna have a regular rig in my house by next Monday, by Monday. The reason it's taking a long time is because I'm super paranoid paranoid and I'm in complete lockdown and I'm making everyone who comes in here where Hazmat suit did set up the equipment. So he's telling us he's not allowing anyone to come in and make his show sound good, but at the same time

he's making tens of millions of dollars from serious XM and he's not allowing that anyone to make a sound good. He goes on to explain why that is. Tomorrow they're coming to my house. We located a hazmat suit for them to come in with. They're going to set up the equipment and then I'm going to let it incubate for 72 hours at least before I test it out so all the coronavirus will die off of it. So he's putting out shitty shows that sound like garbage. And I love this because he was making fun of podcasts and these fucking idiots, what are they doing? And then he puts out a show that's literally a podcast and it's garbage. It's the worst thing I've ever heard.

And the reason is because they're going to bring me tens of thousands of dollars worth of equipment, but I'm not gonna touch it for 72 hours because I'm a fucking weirdo who doesn't understand how viruses work. Like, okay, neat. He clearly doesn't understand how viruses work and this is such bullshit too, because like you said, it's Monday and fine, even if you want to give yourself 72 hours, guess what? You could put out a show on Friday.

You could start to record before Monday. You don't need all that time. This is such nonsense. Oh, let me explain how dumb this guy is. Now, he was yelling at his father for reading the New York Times. His parents are in their 90s. They're gonna go at some point.

And he thinks they're gonna get coronavirus because his dad's touching a newspaper. Oh my God, Howard, the fuck is wrong with you. I know you're a germa phul, but you're taking it all too far. He explains what he does when food comes over to his house. Boy, I'll tell you what I'm doing now though. What?

I get like take out food or anything like that. Anything that's brought in all my food and microwave 20 seconds until the corona virus on it. Right. So you're still getting take out? Well, I'm having food brought in, yes. I'm not wondering how you were getting food because he's not cooking. Notice Fred's laughing at that.

Like, yeah, no shit. Howard cannot do anything for himself. He's a multi-millionaire who's had everyone do everything for him. This idiot thinks that if he puts his food in the microwave for 20 seconds, it kills off the coronavirus and then he'll be safe. Isn't this the same conversation where he was yelling at Robin for having food delivered as well? I think this was the same day that he was laying into her for having food delivered and somebody keep coming to clean her house. Yeah, he was upset with Robin because someone would come over and clean her house for her,

which is obviously going to kill her, obviously. Right. Oh, definitely. And then how it explains this poor guy, he has this giant mansion, he doesn't have his servants there. You know, and now I realize how big my house is now that I have to clean it. Absolutely. I can't even imagine.

Oh, it's crazy. That's fascinating, please go on. What a fucking asshole. This guy's gonna go on serious X-town with a show that sounds like garbage, making tens of millions of dollars and complaining that his house is too big for him to clean. Who was listening to this and entertained by this? I don't know, because you assume that at least 20, 30, maybe 40% of his audience right now

is unemployed. Yes. They are out of a job. They have lost their jobs. And they have so much rich douchebag talking about how he doesn't know how to take the garbage out. Oh, and let's not forget that he became huge in New York City. He's got a giant following in New York City, which is the hotbed for coronavirus.

Sure. He fucking got the fuck out of there. Went to his house in the Hamptons. Of course he did. He's an imagine the Hamptons going, I had to microwave food that's over to my house. How many fucking middle figures can people give this guy at this point?

And this is the part that pisses me off as a podcaster, not understanding how to fucking use technology and put on a regular show. We can't even take phone calls yet. Yeah, that's what I was gonna say. We can't talk to the audience right now, except through Zoom. Yeah.

You don't know how to connect a fucking call. There's not someone as serious as XM who can show you how to do that? Like what if Mike Saffel wants to call in and waste everyone's time? Like, how would you pull that off? I mean, that makes me think that Gary called everybody about 20 minutes before this and said, I figured out how Zoom worked. I'll send you an email invite.

Let's just get on. After he explains that they're on Zoom and he can't take phone calls. He says, Jimmy Kimmel is going to come on and Robin has the world's dumbest question. Also today at eight o'clock Jimmy Kimmel, we're gonna check in with him because Jimmy's such a great friend of the show and we'll just check in and see what the fuck he's doing. Is he gonna be on zoom too or or he's on zoom? He'll join us. Oh great. Yes! What do you think he's got a can and string? Yes, he's gonna be on zoom Robin. He just explained there's no other way to connect with the show. He's gonna have his face pressed up against Howard's office window.

Yeah. Oh, three two. What's he? What the fuck? I can't stand Robin. But the good news is, dog, and I hopefully you didn't listen to all six hours. And I said, you know, because as they come back and we're in the middle of this pandemic

and Howard's freaking out and the world is ending and the sky is falling, it's good to know that running the limel driver is still disgusting and talks about shit. No one wants to hear. This is him explaining he went to Puerto Rico with his fiance and Factor in the ocean. We were in the ocean and She started rubbing my dick in the water and And you know, I got into a But it just felt weird in the ocean. So we we really didn't I didn't come in the ocean. Yeah, we came back to, we ran back to the room because the room was like only 10 feet from

the from the beach. Yeah, we finished off in the room and then we went back out to the water. Like what was that? Was Stephanie wearing like really like hot bikinis and getting and get you to get your stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Other people tell what you were doing? Yes, he's a seven year old man. Fucking a woman who looks like his granddaughter. Yes, people can tell what they were doing. How would you not be staring at that? How would you not be checking that out? And this is what I mean.

Like, I have taken months off of listening to the show and I went back and I'm like, oh yeah, how are still in the rational germaphobe? Ronnie's still gross. Like I, it's like I haven't left. Yeah. And every show must be the same now. And it's the shame that I'm just realizing this.

Nothing has changed. And they're still talking about a 70 year old man's penis. You know, is it Ronnie's cock amazing? Oh God. It's vomit inducing. It's the Ipacaque of broadcasts at this point. You know, when all of our heroes have to fade away at some point, I think it's about time. Yeah, I think so too.

This is the time in the show when I'm realizing I fucked up because I don't have I know the guy is gonna join us again next week. We're so excited about because I can't wait to hear how they lost the bit They did him and Doug From who's right? What I want to they got some spleen to do. It was pretty excited after last episode first of all I was finally mentioned in a PJ song. I know it was about how great Kroge is but I was still in there And the other thing is I felt like I was sort of up a little bit on the And the other thing is I felt like I was sort of up a little bit on the

Co-host pecking order since you were ghosted by duck from who's right and kaya. I mean, I know You know Crojan and you're still ahead of me and I'm only just above Jen from the channels Yeah, don't read into it. Don't read into it too much. I just say I don't have as many people ahead of me I don't know that's true. I don't have anybody I don't know if that's true. I don't have anybody back there. I don't even come home. I mean, I don't know. Look at it. So the listeners know, and I don't know how much of this information you need to get out,

but just so people know, anytime you hear me, it's because Carl desperately texts me saying, all I have left is Jen, you have to come home. So if anyone's ever hearing Jen it's because I said no oh Fuck shots fired that's fucking that's intense right there. I think I have dropped for that All right Doug I want to thank you so much for coming on listening to our buddy Patrick Michael listening to Howard Stern, listening to the dungeon drunks, you always go above and beyond. Let's talk about good times great movies. What's going on with the with your show about movies from the 80s?

Uh, yeah. I mean, if you if you like to listen to Carl, make fun of terrible podcasts and you want to listen to two idiots make fun of terrible movies from the 80s. Take a listen, find us wherever you get your podcasts, check it out. We even talk about good movies, but you know, they kind of take the piss out of them a little bit. It's worth listening to because Doug's co-host Jamie sounds hot. Right. She's really great at what she does. And I'm there because I know how to edit the show and hit record. So please join us again next week.

It might be the episode we found out once and for all. Who are these podcasts? Sleep well, every pony. Party in the mush piss of morning radio. And now the show is called right now. Hmm, okay. Great show. Good job, everybody.

Good job everybody. Good job everyone. What do you fucking understand? I don't know either. I don't know either. I just want to throw something out of the dead. Uh oh, bring hard alert. Bring hard alert, Clam. You fucking know all about this shit. What is this garbage? How do they have a podcast? This is close shit

Your wife had the giant stitches in her I'm not being brave enough. Fuck you! That's your brother. You know, who are these? Podcasts. Fucking thing. I don't know. I don't get it.

Makes no sense. I keep forgetting to do this lately. Reveals, reveals, reveals. With Vic. We feel we feel we feel With Vic Vic you awake today Yeah, I am surprisingly how's it going? Good. How are you? What are you wearing? Oh my gosh? I am in my finest attire right now. You would be very impressed. That's good Oh, we're talking about I'm sorry. I never had the... No, I don't have the pleasure. No, you're the best dog. I like you better than

the other ones. Dog meat dog meat dog. I'm gonna go. Vic meat dog. Vic, we have any reviews on any of those iTunes or whatever the fuck people review us on these days? Yeah, quite a few cringy ones. Oh good. The first one is all caps, the titles everybody. Everybody's now writing bad reviews with five stars, hoping to get read on this podcast. That is douche chile. Yuck with like four K's five stars. Very good. Right? And then someone is missing Kai's voice. I'm assuming it's a girl.

Maybe a guy, you know, Kai does seem like a little bit of a twink, but it says bring Kai back sometime soon. His voice does things to me, huh? With like four exclamation points. Seriously though, Carly, your voice has grown on me quite a lot too. I don't cringe anymore when you scream talk. XOXO thanks with like seven S's.

I wonder if that's the girl who had the wet dream about me in the sob rata. I don't know if anybody else wrote that thread, but... Oh, Greg. Oh, this guy called Coral. There you go. Kai is back. Oh goodness. And then someone said, sorry Carl,

just heard the latest episode. I didn't mean to leave a one star review in the past. I actually love this show. I work for the same company as Andy. And your podcast gets me through Sucky Mondays. Keep it up, Love Croge, Andy, Jen, and many other co-hosts. Five stars. So this fucking asshole did it the opposite way around, give me one star, a positive review. Fucking idiot. Yeah. Well, no, no, no, he left a five star

this time, but it seems like he left a one star in the past. Yeah, that's really dumb. That's a really dumb. He said he loves Jen. So apparently Jen and Ian Crowe, you want him over. Yeah. Okay. Why are you so surprised about that dog? What's so shocking about that? I'm not mentioned. Don't you understand that I'm pretty damn jealous? Yeah. You're never mentioned, Doug. If I could suck for you in. Sorry. I've been on like five times. Someone loves this show. This podcast makes Shamist look like God's gift

to broadcasting. Five stars. All right. And then love this. Found you guys from Revenge of the SIS. I'm binging from the beginning episodes while in quarantine. Kevin's impressions are hilarious. Glad I got a lot to listen to now. Five stars. I have a feeling he'll leave a one star in the future.

Kevin's gone. Yeah, when he realizes there's no more fun in impressions. There's nothing fun. I'm not. Cooper commander is gone. And then you actually got a one star review. What a waste of time. You'd think such a seasoned podcast critics could make a podcast of discernible quality

themselves, annoyed emoji, one star. Oh, somebody bought her. Did we make part of this show that you like? Sorry, guys. Probably. Very sorry, guys. Oh goodness. Yeah. Sorry guys. Probably. Very sorry guys. Oh goodness. Yeah, and then someone, you know, of course,

you have your boomer audience members and he was just talking about loving Opie. I didn't copy and paste it because I'm lazy. That's a fine star. You know, not interesting. Just like, oh, love, oh, please, keep it up. Maybe it was, so maybe it was creamy butter zero that. Maybe it was a guy that like talks for like seven fucking minutes in the voicemails. I love him. Oh, Jesus. So I didn't play OP stuff. He put out a podcast this since Vic died, but unfortunately it was just an old episode of him hanging out with Vic, which is not fun to listen to. There have been a lot of speculation around how long he's going to drag this one out for. I don't think Vic was as integral to the show as Carl Ruiz was, but I'm definitely predicting a number of shows where he gets together with Sharad Small

or anyone else who's ever talked to Vic in their life. And we have to hear about what a great guy he was and how amazing he was. So look at forward to that. Definitely post clips from it. Yeah. I'm glad I realized I didn't really have to listen to any OP. I didn't have to listen to any stuttering John. Thank you for making that clear before I got on. you're welcome you should have made them do it Carl

come on it's free content all right let's listen to some voice message you have any more reviews to read no no more all right let's say we're voice valor too hey garlic squeeps don't fucking pretend. Like, you need fucking haircuts. I've seen pictures of you. No hair stylist's wife is gonna save that face. Here's your talk about, oh, it's good that I have a hair stylist's wife. No, no, no, no, you need a plastic surgeon's wife. But, you know, I love the show.

Congratulations on 200. It could have been better though. You're 100 episodes. Definitely wipes the floor with this fucking one. You need to beat Kaya and Doug for deleting a fucking S.D. card. What kind of retard deletes an S.D. card? Seriously. But anyway, congratulations.

I hope you die and break your legs. but I love you. So call me back. All right, buddy. Thanks. Thanks for that. I'm gonna a lot of criticism for episode number 200 just because Doug and Kyah were not who gives a shit. We had all the heavy hitters. We had Andy. Andy's brother Joe. Nice dog. The list goes on. The list goes on. Andy, Andy's brother Joe! Nice dog! Vic, the miscalism was pretty terrible. The miscalism. Even, I was even able to wake up Kevin for a fucking minute to de-stop it for the show again.

So, I don't understand why this is seen as a failure. It seemed like a pretty big deal to me. Extra of a Ganza, if you will. All right, this is someone who meant to call in to a snow plow show. Hey, um, actually I meant to call into the snow plow show, but I called in to you. Um, maybe you should review the snow plow show. I don't fucking care. Fuck you, Carl. That's an example of a very good voicemail. Here's another one.

Hey, rubber dick. I was going to call in the say something about how I was just going to call in to say, Hey, rubber dick, and a cut guys, the guys that are going to call in to say, Hey, rubber dick. I was going to say that it's going to become just like, Hey, this is great, go be huge. and this is how I talk. And then the voice mailers went right back to that same old fucking chestnut. Amazing. I thought Andy's drunk call was one of the funniest things I've ever heard. I was laughing about it quite a bit.

People are calling in about Vic Henley, of course. I'm pretty sure Vic Henley hung himself after he heard your episode reviewing his comedy special. You should be ready to help us. You're not going to go to people from the OP radio podcast. I'm not proud of that at all. Vic Henley is one of my favorite people to make fun of. I'm not happy about that. Loss. I don't think Vic

had any was spent five dollars for my Patreon in order to hear us making fun of his standoff. I don't think he had five dollars to spend on your Patreon. I gave him $9.99. By the way, the next bonus episode is gonna be, I talked to Dick, we're gonna do Maddox's book, Fuck Welles. I gotta get the audible version of that. If anybody has the MP3 of Maddox reading his book, Fuck Welles, I'd love to get a copy of that. Is that legal? Is what I just said, at Legos, like to say, probably not.

Alright, there's another person who's like to say, probably not. All right. Uh, there's another person who's uh, surprised by our 200th episode. Hey, Carl, well, you did it. You got a 200 episodes. You know, most podcasts don't even make it that far. And judging by how last episode went, I'm surprised you actually made it that far.

Oh, come on. There's a lot of complaints about episode over 200 I'm not sure where those came from doesn't make any sense to me the top artist is now into our show C.P. Hey Carl, you fat fuck. Just wanted to congratulate you on 200 episodes. Thanks buddy. You know, nowhere near as good as the dick shows 200 episodes, if you want the bomb.com. But the real purpose of this voicemail is to call out my other fat fuck of a friend, the top artist who I recently got to go from listening to the dick show and after being an absolute pussy about one of your episodes hating and not grasping the artisanal qualities of his favorite podcast. We're a few who is to listen to you. And now I've got to listen to you. Thanks for fucking great. So you know who you are.

Top Office. Call me back. Thank you. And that's a very important public service announcement for everyone. Tell your friends to check out W-A-T-P. That's how we grow our fan base. Doug, you were talking earlier about Patrick Michael didn't know how to go find podcasts. Sometimes someone just recommends a show that they enjoy. Go ahead and go out there and recommend the shows that you enjoy. Do that. I mean, I don't do that. I don't even want people to know the show.

I never do that either. I don't even tell people I host the show. What a load of recommended to people. Remember that? I don't want to make my viewers mad that I would make fun of anything. I don't play me out. Remember that drunk guy from Canada who called in. He was black out drunk at three in the afternoon because there's a quarantine. He's walking his dog with white claws out of the one is excuse was a sedary dickless but he

called back into explain himself hey you fucker it's drunk guys already gathered this time I'm drunk and it's like fucking three o'clock in the afternoon it is like three of the afternoon and first things first. I wanted to get on to I was listening to your fucking bonus content patreon hey, hey, oh you got punched up. I have fucking nobody fucking pussy tattoo a little loser And you didn't even do anything about it. You can call the cops or they'll use go punch them back human crows That's cute. But what I was really calling about was once again when I'm drunk, I don't know. I can talk with it. Red bar. Hey, you talk shit about red bar. And I think you need to watch a full episode again. I don't understand what you hate about it. It's hilarious. All he does

is make kind of comedians that are terrible. It's six hours long. This fucking red bar show. Who can watch an entire episode of that? I don't have six hours to kill. How do you like all these comedians that are fucking for the terrible podcast? That's all I've done. So just hate on fucking awful comedians

who are famous for no fucking reason. I heard you cross Chrissy Mayer recently. I just shut that up. I love you. Chrissy Meyer recently. I love you. And also Andy. This is on the bonus content. You guys are talking about podcasts. It makes one of other podcasts.

And Andy's like, where is the only one who would do that? Where is the only one who's never been shot up another podcast? And then there's Red Bar and you know, religious and cis copied red bar. So there's red gums and red bar and other YouTube channels. Andy your gay and your brother is a liberal fucking I love the sky. Andy brother you fucking vagina. Everyone who made a whole episode super awkward. Never hated you.

All right. That's my favorite collar. And also, a thank I would get drunk and just say band practice. I'd he'd be the top collar. Here's someone who's a fan of Monique. Wow. All this Monique talk is getting my dick rock.

God. One of my Monique talk is getting my dick rock on. Wanna know my Monique fantasy? Okay, excuse me, there's a floppy in the blue jobs. It's my face, tackles, and it goes back to deep throat. My talk. Monique can read you. Don't get my radio spunk. Call me back. Nope. That's disgusting. Monique is not in attractive female. Did Mo apostrophe neaker?

Is that a different Monique? It's a different Monique. Monique from Radio Gunnk is the woman who's made a career out of hating Howard Serran, although she loves Howard Serran, although she hates Howard Serran. Oh, okay. All right, I got it.

She's the one who turned down Southern John to co-host his podcast. Like, I'm the show. John, if you're gonna get turned down by a girl, do it when you're not broadcasting, you fucking idiot. All right, let's hear more about episode number 200 or Big Celebration. Hey, Carl, I just wanted to thank you

and congratulate you for 200 episodes. You know, most podcasts by the time they get 200 episodes It's just a big fucking circle jerk. Yep. You have or have created this wonderful community and all these co-hosts Don't give a shit about you. So episode is just a blast to listen to because no one cares about it. You were the one who cared the most about 200 episodes and you just got to listen to you, be mad and sad about it that no one else cared. Yeah, good episode.

And first, I will be listening to the podcast before I listen to the W-A-T-A-Z-W-A-T-E episode. I hope it doesn't suck. Oh, no! I hope we do. He's not testing. I hope we can do that this time. Yeah.

You know what, Doug, I meant to play this earlier in the show. This, I don't know if it's the same person, but somebody did go and listen to dungeon drunks and summed up the show for us. I should have played this. Carl, this is fucking podcast. dungeon drunks and summed up the show for us. I should have played this. Carl, this is fucking podcast. I know I did this to myself by listening to it, but

come on, these guys are terrible. As someone who plays dungeon dragons and has run games, I know a few basic things. Like, for example, if you are running the game, you should have stuff prepped. This, that fucking, she, she was dancing from the beginning. This is an hour long show that they do, once a fucking week and immediately at the beginning of the episode I was listening to, she was like stalling for time. What the fuck, it's like, you should know

what's going to happen if you're only going to play for an hour. Once a week, that's like all the time the world's prepared for what's going to happen, but you did it. It's. And it's fucking sucks. Yeah. Knowing what they're talking about, like knowing it's fucking sucked. Thanks for the podcast recommendation. Fuck you, goodbye. I'm not recommending this part.

That's not a recommendation. It was a recommendation. By the way, I just want to point out that I dropped the fucking ball. It would have been nice to have played that earlier in the show to get a perspective of someone I actually know is how D&D works. Cause Doug and I did not.

And at drop so 200, when everyone was praising me so much, I thought, wow, I'm really good at this. And I realized I'm not that good. And I have a lot of ways to go. Good to know. Again, everybody was praising you. I don't think you got out of that show when everyone else did.

Oh, no, you didn't hear that Here's a trope I've been hearing quite a bit lately Man the wrong Vic died this week. I Seriously rather have Boomer guy host the voicemail segment Toria over here. Oh I saw that oh wow I saw that. Oh, I saw that. Oh, wow. I saw that on Twitter.

I saw that on Reddit. I saw that on the Discord. The wrong Vic died. There's just so much vitriol for you, Victoria. I mean, you could kind of say it's a vitriol, am I right? Oh, I see what you did there. See, it's so, it's like that, that's gonna win everybody back. Absolutely.

I like how he called me by my full name, like a fucking angry mother. Like I'm disappointed in you, you know? They're right, I wish I died too. I'm still working and I wish I was fucking quarantined. How is that possible? You were gonna restaurant in California and you're still working is that true?

Yeah, yeah, like I'm like a baker manager for like Panera and like all I do is just yell at old people and just shove dough in the oven Wait, you're in the kitchen. You yell at old people. Who are the old are the ones working there? Yeah, dude there's a hell of fucking old people baking at Panera. They're all like fuck. We have like a 65 year old fucking working there. Like he moves slower than fucking shit. You put all the high schoolers out front because that's all I see at our Panera. Yeah, yeah.

No, there's like someone who bakes their all night long and it's usually just old grumpy assholes who can't like work with anyone. Okay, so they work with you, alright? Yeah. So you are explaining that when you have to interview people, sounding like a 12 year old boy is, makes it difficult, but you're interviewing people to work at Pinarabrat.

Yeah. So what's the fucking difference? I'm confused. Well, because they're all like eight years old. They're like, oh man, I love the stupir. I just want to be a baker. I'm like, okay, can you walk? Usually the answer is no.

All right. Really learning so much more about Vic. I enjoy Vic as a character and these little tiny pieces that I get. Had no idea you worked at Panera and that doesn't change my life, but I find it interesting. I'm sure everyone is at the edge of their seat right now. Like, what is the biggest do people are texting their friends? I know, I know I just heard that too.

I know, I know. But you know what I've been on the fence about getting on that Patreon, but maybe just like a text you pictures of the exterior of the closed Panera near me Yes, this is a good reason to get out of her patreon you get Vic's cell phone number and you can show her what the Panera bread near you looks like Are there old people working there she doesn't know All right couple more real quick. Hey, I've been visiting your show since these whole shutdown corona.

I'll see what episode I'm on. I just want to do a little correction in which I'm sure you know about. Episode 145, Fund Employment. You said you'll never have a patron on how you do and I'm about to start supporting you. Thank you. Once I'm done visioning is which will probably be another week

since I got nothing to do. My dog found my employees. I hope you. I don't know if everyone's on the show still because I haven't caught up but Kevin. What the fuck is going on with you? Do you think I'm laying off co-hosts? So they have you a great folk on them. Hey, Andy, good to touch you, buddy. So anyway, coronavirus and yeah, just not gonna work out again. People wonder why I'm on right now. Now I understand. I don't have all the expensive co-hosts. Hiya. Um, I love you.

You are giving me so much entertainment now, and I can't wait to get all these secret shows on Patreon. I'm not secret. That's it. It's not a secret. I'm not too cornered. This is Squeegee. Bye-bye. Squeegee. We love you, buddy.

Thank you so much for binging the show. Tell a friend Become a patreon subscriber Give your money to your friend Carl. We love it Hey, I got this this morning British OP called into the show Hello, this is OP and this is how I sound um Look can you stop ragging on my co-host please? I mean, first cow, now a bit handling. I'm pretty sure your piss-taking is killing him.

My piss-taking? You said, instead of saying this is how I talk, this is how I sound. I love British OP. I would listen to his podcast. British OP, you have a fan, my friend. All right, Doug, thank you so much for spending your time with us today. Hey, thanks for having me on. I always appreciate it. I always love having you on. Vick,

as your only fan, I want to thank you for coming on the show. Yeah, no problem. You have no one else, you know, willing to even call into your show. So at least I could do. You know what I think that I think the problem was I went to PJ too early and episode 200 people just like, oh boy, this show is this show is really falling off the rails. Speaking of PJ, yeah, no one likes this part of the show. You guys should all just kill yourself.