Who Are These Podcasts? - Ep240 - 1000 Comics Podcast

Episode Date: January 10, 2021

Here's a good idea for a podcast, you take two unknown open-micers, now hear me out, and they promote a comedy show with a max capacity of 30 patrons, now hear me out, and they only attempt to be funny one time and fail miserably. Nah, you're right, that's a terrible idea. The great Pat Oates joins us once again to talk about the very unfunny Matt Heath and his uninteresting friend Paul Gregory. We also chat about Opie's crazy tweet, Stuttering John's piano, Patrick Michael's video call to a hater, and WATP listeners sending nudes to Kayci.  20% off your purchase with the code "watp" https://manscaped.com/ Support us and get bonus episodes: http://bit.ly/watp-patreon https://watp.supercast.tech/ Pat's channel: https://www.youtube.com/user/patoates Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's show was brought to you by Manscaped.com and use the promo code WATP 20% off your order and free shipping episode Are you a boner guy? Cuzz Cuzz a row Cuzz a row S slap a runie. It's show time. W-A-T-B. W-A-T-B. W-A-T-B. I'll do this for you, Pat. W-A-T-B. Hello, Robert Dixon, Custlerus.

Welcome to another episode of Who Are These Podcasts. The only show that's hosted by a guy who puts on Buffalo Horns and Red White and Blue Face Paint before storming Bill Stadium. I'm Carl, with me this week, a man who thinks your podcast stinks and is once again correct. It's Pat Oats, everybody. And I love that everyone that listens to this will now write that to me on Twitter. And it's weirder to read it than it is to hear it.

Like just as someone write, your podcast stinks is odd. Please go to who are these.com. We can our email address, voice mail number, link to our subreddit, link to the discord server, link to our sub Reddit link to the discord server link to our merchandise link to our YouTube channel link to our patreon and supercast Featuring two exclusive bonus episodes every single month right before we start recording this I just dropped the latest crossover episode Whtp in the dick show. We talked about frontamies We talked about the fat feminist witch podcast And then we also did a few more chapters of Fuck Welles,

the abortion that Maddox wrote. So you'll wanna hop on there to get that exclusive content. Also, shout out to our new Facebook group that's already doxed to me. He's fucking assholes. Just can't resist it. Oh, look what I found. It's Carl's actual David Profile.

Good job. Fucking sleuth sleuth of the year. Thanks for that. We encourage our listeners to give us a five star review on Apple podcasts and then shit all over us in the comments section We'll have Ksion in a little bit to read those comments But first we'll be reviewing a podcast called 1,000 comics podcast Pad and I both listen to the show separately. We have not discussed it with each other beforehand. Let's get into it.

This is a show that's hosted by a gentleman named Matt Heath. I believe he considers himself a comedian. We'll get into that in a little bit. And the latest episode has a guest named Paul Gregory. And these guys, they work out of the elbow room in Connecticut, Hartford, Connecticut. That, you know, anything about that? Oh, I do know both of them well.

And Matt is not even 30 years old, but he, he acts in everything he talks about is like he was raised in the 80s. It's a very odd man. Like, he's a very, he's like a human cartoon. And it's just the way he says things in scoofy and odd and strange. Been an open micro the entire time. A couple, a couple of gigs in 10 years, but nothing much. All runs, he's the manager of a restaurant and that restaurant sometimes lets him put on comedy in the basement. That's the comedy club they're talking about.

Yeah, because the way they talk about it. so this Paul Gregory guy, he's acting like, dude, you're amazing, you're a comedian, but you also run a comedy club. And I can't believe that you're able to to pull that off because you're a business person, but then you also have to be a comedian. And he even says this at one point. I had a good, I was having a good year last year and I was getting out a lot. Yeah. I had done a couple. You got to be Mitzi Shore and Paulie Shore at the same time. That's a thought. Uh, dudes, it's not the comedy star. Every single comedian that plays at the elbow room, I've never heard of and never will. I don't know what they think this is. And more so if you go a little farther in the clip, he doesn't really realize who

Midshi Shore is. Oh, right. He's kind of goes, oh, that'd be weird. Yeah, that'd be a weird two things to be. I'm like, you're not understanding the comparison that you have to be the owner and a comedian. That's what he was saying. But yeah, I'm comparing it to that.

And of course, when they talk about where they both learned comedy, of course, once again, of his Connecticut comedy, my name was dropped in this goddamn episode. Oh, I got that for ya. I got that here. I did not, but I did not book him just so we know he just showed him at the open mic. Let's make it do it.

Let's listen to it first. So, who, who booked you on, who do you remember who booked you on your first show back then? Oh, God. I, I think I, I don't know if it was Pat O2 actually booked me, but it was it was just a Thursday showcase that they used to run there. Right. I had a five minute spot and I mean, and for me, I that was, I thought that was gonna be the best thing, and I got made it. That was it. It was the most ridiculous thing to think at the time. Why would anyone think that they made it? Because they did an open mic.

He's nowhere near to making it now. He's also nowhere near the microphone. He's George Carlin and Jim Gaffing in wrapped in what that'll come out. I'm sure at one point. It's amazing. The two of them blew so much smoke up his ass. And I know them both. They are guys who are open micers. It was amazing. They're like, well, someone here's this.

They'll just think we're two sidefills. Yeah, these people do not suffer from low self esteem at all. They talk about each other as if they're just two comedy grades having a little conversation. There were a privilege to get in on.

This is what you were just talking about, Pat. You know what I like about you, Paul? It's like you have like the genuine dad-ness of like as of like a gym gaffigan, but then like you have like the observational like absurdity of like a like a George Carlin. It's almost like a like a hybrid of the two. Yeah, I think that this guy's more of a hybrid of John Melendez and a houseplant. The guy couldn't be more boring.

There wasn't a single joke told for the entire hour and 10 minutes I listened to it. In fact, it starts off so depressing. This is, they're talking about this fundraiser that they're doing. And so Paul explains what they're raising funds for. SMA is sort of in the muscular dystrophy family. It's not necessarily the same thing, but it's similar in the fact that it's congenital, that it's found in a, it's basically found in a lack of or weakness of an SM-Men1 protein, not to get too much into the chemistry of it.

But it's actually one out of 32 people are carriers of SMA. So it's actually fairly common to be a carrier really of SMA, right? So it's boring. You're boring everybody. Who it boring everyone? I don't know if this is how they should have started the show. I'm sure it's a very important cause. No, and by the way, the enthusiasm with the really was not matched well with that. It's like, you know, it's a disease that deteriorates you really. It's like, you don't say fascinating. More on dying children really. Well, I think this guy sun has this affliction, right? That's why I don't know that much well, but you know, it has a son that is ill and this day we're trying to do good cause. But this is the kind of thing I'd be on a podcast. You share a link that people go read about. You know, it has a son that is ill and this day we're trying to do a good cause. But this is the kind of thing. If you're on a podcast, you share a link that people go

read about. You know, you'd be funny on the podcast and then you send them to a link to learn about real things. You don't try to explain it. You don't think you should try to explain the biology behind the affliction and really get into the molecules that are involved. He fucking lost me on that. What are you talking about? But you were wrong on one thing, Carl. What's that? He did tell one joke. Oh, I have that.

And he was trying to tell a joke about a turkey. I have that. All right, so let me play this for you because. That was the one joke. What happens here is so embarrassing. And this is actually part of a three clip series that I have met remind remembers this joke that he once told when he was doing a comedy show around Thanksgiving and he's really proud of himself and the other guy because it's

such a bad joke feels compelled to try to punch it up on the spot. Let's listen to this. This is the long way to go. So hang tight, everybody. There's actually a joke I wrote on Thanksgiving. I think this may be kind of off kilter for a fundraiser show, but something that I just, I just couldn't get out of my hand was, I don't understand why they give away uncooked turkeys

on Thanksgiving to the less fortunate because you're gonna give the people that are too lazy to get jobs the hardest meal to cook the longest meal to cook. So not a funny joke cooking turkeys not difficult you literally place it in an oven for a specific amount of time and then pull it out. There's other things you could do, obviously, but long is probably makes more sense. So, immediately Paul's like,

well, yeah, that's the longest thing. If they're really hungry, it would suck up to wait four hours. Like that would be the joke or something. Not like these lazy balls. I hate to be the guy who breaks out of joke completely, but they're usually giving those out to people that are like poor on food stamps,

but still have shelter. If they don't have anywhere to live and cook, then they go to a place that's gonna give them food. They're not going out to people who are in a cardboard box and throwing them afro since Turkey. So that's not even how it works. That would be absurd. That would be a benefit.

You actually just cook a meal for those people. I'm so lazy. Right after that, he's so proud of himself. I just have the very end of that last clip and then the next thing that happens here. The longest meal to cook. The longest and most patients. No, I mean, that might be sound evil,

but here's my thing. Give away, give away, cook somebody of me and give it away You know what I mean? Wow, yes, we know what you mean we got the fucking joke we get it so proud of himself We get it though you get it you know what he means? Yeah, like wouldn't it be better if we like cook because these are lazy fucks You know they're probably have dark skin we should be cooking them food get it you guys get the joke I just told They're so stupid they can't even like cook or live inside. So like, we gotta just throw them turkeys. You know what's funny is I just remembered

that if you gave Stuttering John a raw turkey he would not be able to cook it. He does not have a working often in his shitty apartment. I don't know why I keep thinking about things like that. It's none of my business. All right, so this is right after that happens. These two hack comedians try to be funny and miss in every way possible. This sounds like two amateurs who have never

tried Santa before. Possibly late teenagers early 20s. This is all just embarrassing. And turkeys aren't great to cook because they're such a lean bird. They're so muscular that that's why like the second it's so hard to have. They're an abomination of nature and I will not stand for people eating them. And they clearly look like there's still half a dinosaur. Like it's, they're prehistoric. Look, yeah, you know, it's creepy to still think that, you know what I mean? Like I don't know how they killed the turkeys, but I would imagine it's creepy to still think that you know what I mean like I don't know how they killed the turkeys, but I would imagine it's somewhat of a fight. I just I feel like it's you got to really go in there

with some with some Some force and some ammunition because the claws on those things What the fuck is he talking about? I don't know. Does he not know how food works? Like, we have to use force to kill all of them. Like, that's, we kill things and eat it. Like, that's how it works. I think he thought we were all going to buy into the dinosaur premise, which turkeys do not look like dinosaurs, or remind me of them in any way.

But there are people who have said that chickens and turkeys have the talons that are kind of like, if you really want to go that weird, but they may be the talons, but no, they're birds that we, that's the most, one of the most common foods that people eat. It's not weird. Now, if you just get us having a bat or something, I'd get it. It's a turkey. It's a national food. I could kill a turkey with just some steel-toed boots.

I don't think it would be that difficult. They're not very fast One large rock Right this guy's like how do you even fucking get these things? Decent aim remember pat they're trying to Promote a comedy show and sell tickets. They promote it multiple times if I'm listening to the show and thank God Nobody did but if I'm listening to the show and I'm wondering should I go to this comedy show or not There's no fucking way. I'm going to this comedy show

See the problem with this is I think I know both of them Matt is a guy who's a very very goofy person He just loves the fact that he has to say he's a comedian He yes, I do it for years to not not through like he's recorded two comedy albums that he's put out himself He's recorded two comedy albums that he's put out himself. He made them both sound like Adam Sandler albums. Like he does his own sketches and skits. It's very strange odd shit. And Paul is a guy who likes to be told that he's important. Yes.

They were a perfect marriage to be together, because Matt wanted to be accepted and Paul wanted to be told you're worth it. But he's really just running a show under the place that he brings the onion rings out for. Yeah, I picked up on that too. I performed there. It's an okay place. I've I've taken the door and I recorded a mountain there myself. I didn't give them the money. I said, I'll take the door in charge, to whatever. And it was fine, but I didn't like dealing with them, but the two of them are yeah, tall and slow and smoke all day. Yeah, I could tell because never once did Paul go, well, it's not that big a deal.

We put on a couple shows a week and, you know, it's where I work anyway. Instead, he's just like, yeah, man, you know, a lot of people, oh, this is great. He actually talks about how, he's a people on a museum as a comic anymore because he's such a great business person. You get to, it's a privilege to be able to see the business side of things and then approach

that as a comic. By the way, I am, thank you for reminding everybody that I am a comic and not just an owner. So, because I don't get booked ever. Yeah, I don't think that's the reason why you don't get booked. Do you want a book deck? I don't know. I heard he works at a restaurant. I don't think we should book. No, it's because you're not funny I couldn't find his comedy anywhere by the way. I looked for it. It doesn't exist And I have him and I have literally had these conversations

He used to like I did used to run the comedy club. They're talking I did run a comedy club for a little while He'll people will call me for advice. I think I don't want to talk about it But and he always had that problem. People aren't respected me as a comic. I go, well, you need to separate them. It's not about them. You need to go out and be worked very hard as a comic

and have another job, which happens to be the comedy club. But it's going to be hard to do that. But he wasn't good at either one. And also they are personally, when you're talking, they're the two of the saddest, most depressing people you've ever met. So it's really weird for me to hear them both saying how great and tremendous they are because they both don't believe that.

I actually know that for a fact. Right. It was like and everything that you're telling me because you know these people I picked up on just from listening to them talk for a little over an hour. I totally picked up on the vibe and it's funny because it's as if they were pretending to be on an actual podcast someone would listen to and at one point the guy even calls him out because Paul knows no one's ever gonna hear this. I mean it's fucking this guy.

What the fuck? Yeah, it's the 1000 comics podcast and who's ever who's ever heard of such a thing? So he calls him out here. Nobody's watching. Nobody's watching. No, they're gonna listen later. This is all people listen to my podcast, Paul. That's the way you, people on the scene are gonna listen to this episode.

Get more coffee. That's all. I'm so coffee. So, he takes a fence to that right away and Pat, if you came on here, you're just like, I don't care what I say on WOTP, nobody even hears it. I wouldn't be like, this is a trooper. I'll show you my download numbers. First off, let me explain something.

I did as much research as I could into this podcast. It doesn't exist as a podcast. There is no platform that it's on. You can only find it through YouTube, and there's 23 fucking views, and I'm guessing Matt is 10 of those. And it's mixed in. Is I gonna have a separate share?

It's mixed in with all his other videos and cartoons. And it's not easy. You're like dig through just to find podcasts. Right. It's not even easy to find. And so rightfully Paul says, no one listens to this show, and instead of just laughing it off, this guy gets all defensive.

You'd be surprised at the power I have, the broadcaster. Yeah. We'd be shocked. Of course, now people are actually hearing it, so it's kind of weird how this is all working out, but at the time, nobody was listening to that. Well, what I like about that too is that all stems from, I guess Paul hit play, they're doing it live in Paul hit on his phone, whatever. So we could hear them what they just said. That's when Matt got mad because it was unprofessional all of the sudden.

Dude, Espaul was getting up and going to get a coffee during the show. So I mean, everything was unprofessional in that moment. Yeah, this is, I don't even know how you do this. I fucked up every single way possible for recording a podcast. I don't know how you get this like two-second delay and he started hearing it back. Let's go back again to Joker's wild. Oh, turn that off. Paul, you're rooting the audio here. We can't listen to the podcast. As we record the podcast, we're de-

we're de-railing very quickly. I don't know, it turned off. God damn it. Just turn off your phone. And the show has reached a new low. We're derailing very quickly. I don't know, it's her not. God damn it. Just turn off your phone. And the show has reached a new low. Now, obviously that's a fuck-up that I'm going to point out because that's what I do. It's my job.

But the biggest problem I had with this show was the levels at which they were recorded. Matt the host is 10 dB's louder than Paul is at every single time. Every single time they're talking and there's a reason for that. They recorded it on a comedy club stage for some reason. We just set up a table on the stage in the comedy club and it was the first ever episode of the show recorded onstage in a comedy club. So that's kind of cool. No, it's not.

You don't be cool as if you recorded in a podcast studio with a guy who's mixing it. And then maybe afterwards you could master it. And it would sound good. That would be cool. That's what I would have done. Okay, if you recorded it live and from an audience at a comedy club and then use the audio, okay, that's cool Because you're live at a packed-out comedy club. You're alone Yeah, just in an empty building right when it's close and even said when it's closed

Yeah, go in the green room. There's probably better acoustics in there like what's the point is no green room? Oh, oh I forgot it's the basement of a restaurant It's a basement in that stage is the size of Ileon Gonzalez's rap. It's the smallest goddamn stage. The place is a basement. It doesn't even have like you could see like the insulation up top. Like there's no acoustics to it. So it's like that's why the echoing is there. It's the worst place to record a podcast.

They should rename it the non-comedy seller. Non-comedy seller. Uh, stand up underground. I think the name is a... Oh, boy. All right, I want to get back to this fundraiser there for moding. He talked to about the killer lineup that they're going to have. Great comics that are going to be on it.

We got Cliff Mula. We got Mega Harrison. Who's that? We got Dan Brown. Who's that? We got Mo Greene. Who's that? And we got Rex Caesar. Who are these people?

Who's that? So I don't have it hard for him. Maybe these are big names in the dramatic area. They are all nice people. They're all open mics. I don't know. I mean, Dan Brown was once my roommate, I guess that's his credit. Besides that, they're all nice people.

Have five, 10 minutes each. I don't know who Rex Caesar is and weirdly enough a kinetic in everyone knows who I am. I don't know that last guy, but those are all, it's a showcase. They're probably not getting paid and they're doing's a showcase, they're probably not getting paid and they're doing a fundraiser. They're definitely not getting paid. They've never gotten paid for doing comedy. None of these people they just mentioned

have ever gotten paid for doing comedy, but I have good news every day. Well, some people have those people pay each other. So that's how they get paid. They put on a show and they all give you 10 bucks. If next week you give me 10 bucks, they're like, ooh, I played in shitty local bands for years. I know how this works.

Like, oh, we'll go support you. You come support us. And it'll look like we have audiences. Neither of you do. I get it. All right, so this is good news, everybody. So this is an event that they're holding to raise funds for this very serious affliction SMA,

spinal muscular atrophy. And you wonder, is this gonna be a super spreader event? We can't stress that enough that we are complying with the rules of COVID, right? Absolutely, I mean, I'd like to say everything is extra sanitized, but it's a restaurant here that we have, it's a comedy club, a lot of places are doing that,

should be doing that stuff anyway. But the biggest factor is we're limiting our capacity to about 30 people. They're trying to raise funds for SMA. That's $600. That's obviously no one's no one. Performing is getting a done. Like I said, I've performed there at capacity

when it before COVID, you can hold 85 probably in that place. It's the basement. Once again, it's not that well, anything like that. In any way, when he said earlier in another part of the podcast, he said one guy had the biggest sell out since October when they were hoping with 30 people. Wow. He's like, he did it. He sold the 30. But I'm just wondering, will $600 move the needle? I'm the research needed to solve this afflection. That's what I want to know.

Is this gonna put an end to SMA? All you needed, they actually concurred twice. With $600, you can cure it, you can catch it, and you can cure it again. That's how wonderful they were on this show. All right, so Paul Gregory does a thing that is one of my biggest pet peeves. He was asked, how did you start stand-up comedy?

And he tells this fucking story that there's no way it's true, but everyone loves to tell this story so reluctant to be this amazing comedian that he is today. I had a couple friends that I played football with at the time and they they were the ones that sort of you know I was Typical thing. Oh, you should do stand up dude. You got to do stand up You should really get on and I said yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah And they said they drug me to an open mic and I did it and it was okay No one's ever been dragged to an open mic by their friends because they thought they were so funny They should just get up there and try state that's never happened this story's been told a thousand times

It's never happened once in reality Well, I guess you don't want to hear my story then oh yeah, your friends are so do your way too funny You gotta go up a child you're like the honest that was never the case no one ever told me I was too funny I was tricked my buddy thought it'd be funny if we went to a bar that had a comedy contest and Embarrassed me by signing me up for it. So I didn't know I would have to go on stage. We sat there drinking eating wings and they announced my name.

Like, what the fuck? He's like, ah, why not? He was goofing around with all the content. No one told me I was good. He was kind of doing it to embarrass me. Yes. And then I ended up liking it and I won 100 bucks. I'm like, ah, fuck it.

I can do it. But what's great about that is this idea that you're reluctant to sign up for an open mic but your friends just talk you into it. If you decide that you want to get up on stage and try to be funny for five minutes, that's in you. No one can talk you into doing that. You obviously want to do that. And if you ask your friends like, hey, should I do this open mic and they go, yeah, try

it. Oh, they drug me there. There's nothing else I can do And then since ever since then he's just been performing in one place That was one party talk about where it says he goes it's even weird when I go other play Like that's how you man you gotta go to other places the comedy you comedy more than one place So I love that they talk about comedians as if they're part of the club which is one of my favorite things uh... this is them talking about which comedians if they were in canadicate would come down to the elbow room and uh... do a set there

i think she pal wouldn't care uh... you know i think you would be had nothing better to do for some weird reason. I think he would show up. Same thing with Bill Burr and stuff. I don't think they lose it as much as other celebrities do. You think Dave Chappelle wants to play for 85 people in the basement of a Hartford restaurant? That's what you think? It's 30 people now. 30 people.

And Bill Burr, I don't know if you know this, but he's the star of Star Wars now. He doesn't need to be in Hartford, like for 30 people. I don't know if you know that. What the fuck are he talking about? And I'm saying this as a joke. I'm one of the biggest names they've ever had there. I don't know what they're talking about. That's ridiculous.

And they were lucky to have me sadly. Okay. And there's no humility here It's not like they're saying this shit tongue and cheek. This is all real to them. Oh believe me pause the kind of guy that would reach out today Oh, hi, Jason, but I want me Paul Gregory and I would like it if you came to my show. I can't pay you, but I can give you a burger But that would be it. They also know why great comedians become great comedians They understand the formula for it as in this example. For some reason it pops into my head that you know why Judd Apatow is the guy that he is today.

It's because his mother worked as a waitress at a comedy club and he was kind of like raised in a comedy club. I think it's because Judd Apatow's a very talented person and very funny. My mom worked in a bank when I was a kid. I'm not good with money because of it. Like, what does it matter? What your mom did for a living? How does that have to do with anything? So many people whose dads or doctors are there

retarded. Like, that's the amount of getting sent to the wall. That doesn't make any sense. John Apatow's sit, it was he's every day like sleeping and getting changed in the comedy. I'm sure she didn't bring him the work. Right.'t the worst mom ever because she's working in a nightclub I'm hoping she's not bringing her kid there Hey, John Abitow's not a good state of comic

Greater it's a great writer creator. He's not that Netflix special is rough, but I didn't Eat either way. He's still better than either one of them, but I like that he's he gave that fact You do podcast I do podcast if I ever give a fact I got obviously from another podcast I say oh, I heard this on Rogan. He obviously doesn't know John Appetite. Where did you get this weird info? Yeah, listen to like peat homes or something, and you got to say that. I was listening to pee homes, and they said, also they's like,

I know Judds Mom or something. It's weird. That's what I mean. The way that they talk about communities like, oh yeah, you're just like observational like Carlin, and you're kind of like a father figure. Like Jim Gabby is like, dude, you don't,

you don't know these fucking people. You've memorized their sets. I understand that, but you're not part of that club. I think you have club. They're glorifying Joker's wild comedy club throughout this whole thing. That was my personal hell, and I couldn't wait to leave it.

It was run by gangsters and bikers, and they just used it to funnel money. And that's why these morons got to perform there, because I wasn't allowed to spend any cash. So I just used these idiots, just to be clear on that one. It wasn't allowed to spend any cash. So I just use these idiot just to be clear on that one. Makes sense. That's a good club. Yeah.

I want to prove how bad Matt Heath is a standup. So you mentioned he put out a couple of albums. First one is become is like the Connecticut fun joke. A lot of us have it. And we just played. We want to laugh at things like in the wrong way. Bullied. Well, I didn't win bowling. I think it's called. Well, I have a clip I'm here that, by the way, I don't know if you know this about me, but I love to laugh at things that suck.

So I'm with you, my friend. This is Matt Heath, and his stand-up special starts with this. This is the first joke out of the gate on his stand-up. He must think, this is how he starts his set. He must think this is killer material. This clip,'m going to warn you is two minutes long and this is one joke. Okay. There's a lot of setup for this punch line. So sit back, grab a cold one. Do you need him? Do you need him? Do you want to go to the fridge? Okay. Here we go. I've been doing this comedy thing for a little while folks. You know, I made a CD, I started giving it out to people.

I saw Dave Kuhleye at one of his shows. You remember the guy played Uncle Joey at a full house? Yeah, I gave him my CD. I didn't think it was gonna further my career or anything. I just wanted it to be 10, 20 years from now. I got a daughter, maybe, who were both sitting on the couch, and she goes, you want a much full house, Dad?

And I go, you think Dave Kool-Yay it was into my cavity ceiling? 30, 40 years from now I got a grand daughter, maybe we're all sitting on the couch. She's a wonderful house grandma. You didn't even call the Airel never listened to my cabins. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

60, 70 years from now I'm lying in my deathbed. I'm in a hospital somewhere. Terms of a deerman comes on the television. Really? Chef Daniels have a list of my covers. Because by that I'll be holding down. And all I've forgotten, I gave my company a second and two. And Jeff Daniels kind of looked similar to Dave and Gullier.

and dating will you? So when you're a friend, when you get a canry, so bad odds. You're a comedian. Do you ever explain your joke immediately following the pun side? Do you ever do that? Oh, because usually that's the whole point of a comic is that they're supposed to get. It's not that hot you to do it. Now, first of all, that is his most famous joke.

Now I say that. That's his dog he transplant. No, understand that because people would go up to him and go, Dave Kool-Aid like mocking him. Like, he went on stops. He really did. He went to Dave Kool-Aid performed at the funny bone and Connecticut. Oh, I believe that. He went there to watch it. He literally just handed him his CD.

He wasn't on the show. He was as a fan. It's in here. You're, you're going guy who was on full house into this so we can write that bit. So immediately following that, the reason why I left that last piece in there is to prove that that was the end of that bit. So immediately following that the reason why I left that last piece in there is to prove that that was the end of that bit, but also to remind myself that his next joke is my girlfriend wanted to get a cat. And this joke took forever too. I'll just sum it up real quick. So we go down to the shelter and I say, Hey, can we get the cat to quad? And girlfriend says no, that's inhumane and I said we're gonna get it neutered and she said yes Of course he goes well if

You're given the choice guys And then you'd think would be like yeah, okay, we got it. He explains would you rather have your fingertips cut off Or your balls am I right cuz I'd rather have my fingertips cause I still have my ball. It's like, yes, okay, we got it. Jesus fucking Christ. He's not worth asking. He's not worth asking. He's not worth asking. He's not worth asking.

He's not worth asking. He's not worth asking. He's not worth asking. He's not worth asking. He's not worth asking. He's not worth asking. He's not worth asking. He's not worth asking.

He's not worth asking. He's not worth asking. He's not worth asking. He's not worth asking. He's not worth asking. He's not worth asking. He's not worth mics. He just took seven, he didn't have like a long set anywhere. So he would just do the five minutes. He would record two and three things and I would listen to it. Now he added laughs obviously because the place was never even that forever. He added laughs to that. But I can hear glasses in the background.

I know that my waitresses were drunk or on coke and dropping things. I can hear the noises of them. But that's what he would do. All these clips were from the open mic. So this show that he's doing is called 1000 Comics, and it's because he wants to interview 1000 Comics. I think he's to change the name to one comic and just keep trying. Eventually, he might accomplish that goal. Shit. He's asked me to be on it.

And I have, and you know, Ricardo, I'm a whore. I, yes, everything. I have not been on that show. You run, and you know, we car, I'm a whore. I say yes to everything. I have not been on that show. Uh, you run, should he saw it in the week a couple of times? I mean, you don't say no to a lot. No, yeah, I'm just gonna brand it. Just go on. I beg them sometime.

Like, can we just, can we discuss some more genres of like, you know, in the end? I'm brand of actually in the, the disc card right now. I'm joking with you, buddy. I bet I'm not sure. They know I love that. Uh, oh, so listen to this. This is the description of the disc right now. I'm jug with you. But I think they know I love that. Oh, so listen to this. This is the description of the show on YouTube, this specific episode that we're talking about in this very special episode of 1000 comics podcast, our host interviews Paul Gregory.

So does he have a staff of people writing descriptions for him? Why is he pretending he's not the one who wrote that our host interviews Paul Gregory when I write descriptions it's from my point of view you know I'm the one writing it I'm not like outsourcing that type of thing I'm posting the podcast and writing the description at the same time this guy's like yeah this very important podcast host interviews this very important comedian on today's episode like I'm not buying it why is it our host and not Matt it's just Matt yeah Matt, Matt interviews. Yeah, right. That's the other thing too. It's kind of like a fucking mystery who this guy is like just announce yourself. It's okay. Oh, does he tell people that he's the voice of Jerry Seinfeld the beginning or? Oh, God. Yeah. That's painful.

He does. He does. The cartoon draw the whole setup of the podcast is but no, he has no staff obviously He's so sad he talks about that the one-time Paul Gregory met him Paul Gregory told him don't worry about being all alone You know get worse That was one of the stories told is just like yeah, Paul you know what I remember about you is that I got dumped when I was 21 That was really bummed out about it and you me, you'll get dumped by tons of other chicks. Okay. But even remember that one. There'll be worse things in your life.

Just keep drinking. And I'd heard another clip from my two podcasts earlier where the guys like, hey, hey, I got the intro. This is the intro to episode 55. Now, keep in mind, no one's ever heard this podcast before. So if somebody were to stumble upon it and this is what I always think about with whtp is there's somebody listening for the very first time you want to put your best foot forward you want to explain what you're doing and why you're doing it as

if there's someone who's does no idea what you're up to this is how he opens up his 55th episode welcome to 1000 comics podcast it's your host Matt Heath doing, folks? What's new out there? How you doing? I'm good. You good? I'm good. I, um, I'm, uh, sober a little over a month now. I, uh, got my, uh, one month chip from, uh, AA and, uh, I'm learning how to be more introspective No, I'm told me there was gonna be boasting Is this your diary dude like save that shit? Why why you put this on a podcast? What's he doing? It also was so awkward eat like how you doing I'm doing good. You doing good. I'm doing good You're not doing good not doing good because two secondss later you're like yeah, I got my chip

Yeah, this guy will you know I'm a sponsor out of it. Oh, I have a friend now I'm I'm guarantee you eat they all have his CD have his CD. Oh, yeah, I don't get it. That's a captive audience. Second album got him fired. I know that. Oh, from, uh, from what?

What kind of job did he have? Was a teacher and I think he recorded the kids on the album and, uh, at the school, and then he handed it out to all the teachers. And then like they heard it and they go, wait, you can't record the kids at school. All right. The one your album. I just figured it out. The reason why he explains his jokes is because he assumes it were as stupid as he is.

That makes sense. Oh, kids. Or the children. He's handing this out to. You know whose kids are really smart or Paul's. Paul is explaining comedy to his kids. One of them is 10. I don't know how all the other ones are.

But it's explaining comedy and listen to how One of them is 10. I don't know how all the other ones are, but it's explaining comedy and listen to how well they grasp these concepts. And they get it. They're getting older now and they sort of get it and they understand that what's clean and what's unclean is not has nothing to do with being dirty. It really, it's about the writing. It's about the approach of the performer takes towards their towards their act is how they want to convey their message

What a pretentious fuck my 10 year old Understands that yeah brain regains a clean comic, but we don't consider him a clean comic because he's just so good at crafting a joke It's not about being clean. It's like dude. What the fuck are you talking about your kids are not having these thoughts? about being clean. It's like, dude, what the fuck are you talking about? Your kids are not having these thoughts. Not even if they were. It's funnier is that he just says everything wrong. It's like, it's about clean and unclean, not dirty. What the fuck? You think unclean means? I know. I don't understand that at all.

It's just a word. No. I mean, I understand what he was trying to say because when he used their message, we all the time and go, Pat, I don't know. They want me to do clean comedy, but I don't fucking know how to do that. Like right there, Paul, you can't swear. And I'm gonna teach him. And he just go, well, I can't mention, like, no, you can't call that. That's not clean. You just kind of would mention it. You kind of like just leave it to the imagination. So yeah, he's just explaining

how I explained it to him once. I could tell he didn't grasp the concept because I was not lost in that conversation. It's 10 year old kids watching Bill Burr with a disease. Like, what are we doing? We're trying to raise money for you. You're watching Burr. Just wait for him to show up at the elbow room. Then the kid could see Bill Burr.

If you can get Bill Burr in danger, he'll be able to show up and your kid has an illness. That's the time to call. Right. They might say yes to that because they feel bad. I will tell you that the club has been a success and the way they measure success is the fact that they're not closed yet. But I think you even have to look at still hanging on as a major success. I mean, even some of the like, like, like, greatest comedy clubs are shutting down,

like during this pandemic, but like, we lost like Danger Fields in New York, you know? Like Danger Fields is a fucking dump, I've been there. I'm, it's, it's ghost town. I don't know how that was ever a club. No, and it's literally like one of those clubs like from like a scary movie. That's the thing. You wouldn't want a ghost or performing there.

And all of a sudden- Dude, the ghost was bartending. The guy was 112 years old, who was fucking bartending. I'm like, I kind of wanted that genitalic tonight, but whatever. Whatever you're ready, sir. The best part about them saying that is that once they said that, I went to their website. Evan had a show since January 2nd. so I do think they're closed now.

Whoops. I had a buddy hit me up and say are they is the elbow room still doing their open mic and I said I don't know I've never got I don't go to it and then he goes I just looked that up they don't do open mics anymore and I don't think they have shows anymore so yeah I think that was I think they're done. Well he tries to sell me out his, and I don't think they have shows anymore. So yeah, I think that was, I think they're done. Well, he tries to sell me out his club, and it doesn't work. The funny bone and the comics, you know, in the Vohegen Sun and the stress factor, amazing clubs. You go there, they're amazing rooms.

You know what I mean? They're A-rooms, and they're just totally, you know, unbelievable with the stuff that they, you know, the talent that they have there, but that's not who we are. Why would you say that? You know those places that really funny comedians? We're the opposite of that. Okay, well, I guess I won't be going to your place then. Doesn't understand when you speak business stuff

and when you hire you promote. Right. When he was trying to do this and took on this job of like while you're running the restaurant, you can also run a comedy club downstairs. He messaged me and I said, listen, do you have any budget? He's like, no, not really any budget at all. I go, then you need to depend on the young comics around you and make them proud of the place so they get some people to come because you can't afford real comedians.

You don't tell people that. That was a thing I told him in private, so he can make money. I even used it as an example of either the GM and the Pittsburgh Pirates or the GM and the Yankees. If you can't afford a lot of good people, you make people think pride and your shitheads that you have. But you don't fucking say it out loud on a podcast

to promote your fundraiser. I mean, in his defense, no one got that far into the podcast. That was like 50 minutes into the show. So no one else heard that except for me. But yeah, how stupid is this guy? I mean, obviously the club is now closed, so he's pretty fucking dumb. But he's panning himself on the back,

the entire episode about how he does running a Wednesday night open mic, and then he goes on to say, and we've never had a funny comedian here. I'm gonna get great. Good job. We don't have these big names. All the better play. Like that's like when a comment goes on stage and his credits are, here's the three better people I've opened for.

It's like, why would you say that? Because now I want to see that I've opened up for Chris rock. But I want to see Chris rock. Now don't remind me of Chris rock. Don't tell me about three better clubs. I go to those clubs. Right. He mentions clubs. They're all in driving range

It's not like he's talking about while you know It's the same price. Yeah, we're talking. He's like we're not the comedy store I mean we know the tale that LA does no he's talking about other places in Connecticut in the round Connecticut You fucking idiots Damon is three clubs I get to perform at and I was like something excited. Thank you But like they're all some of them sometimes will charge cheaper to let people come in He's charging 20 bucks the same price as those huge those the clubs for nobody. Wow. And then the thing they do on this podcast that always proves to me that neither of them actually want to be there or having fun is the way they wrap it up.

All right, Paul. I think we're, um, we're we just hit an hour a few minutes ago and um that's how you just determined that the podcast is over because you hit an hour. When I've hated someone I'm talking to that's how I've done it. Oh yeah. Oh for sure. Oh for sure. Oh, I'm not bad at the bill. It's about just 11 minutes. I'm at two hours or something like that like wow it's flying but when you go oh we hit an hour, a few minutes ago, it's dude, you got to go. Yeah, he's obviously watching the clock very closely. It's just remember Matt is in Paul's club.

Right. He's not throwing about. They could talk forever. Could have gotten a ton more audio, maybe found something funny at one point and then edit it together. But nope, let's just cut it off right. we just talked for an hour, we did it. You know, I'm just going to play one more clip. This is going back towards the beginning, where he's introducing his show and introducing his guest and he's very excited to be doing

something that's never been done before. I'm, I'm really excited to finally be doing something like this is different. This is something where we're playing to a Facebook audience for our fundraiser and we're playing to my YouTube crowd. So we got two completely different ones of brand new experience. Wow! Streaming to Facebook and YouTube! I can't even pioneer. I can't believe it. And I love this. By the way, now I understand why the feedback was there. I guarantee you, he just went Facebook live on his phone. Yes, thank you, that's the mystery.

People have the phone and just did the audio, made it, they aim at them while he was recording on YouTube. Mystery solved, and the reason why he did that was to look at the real-time comments that were coming in of which there were zero And we're gonna kind of feedback we're getting. Oh, I'm the one giving feedback. Whoops Alright even Paul saying I don't even know how to turn this off which means that Always watching it Paul was on the podcast and Watching himself on the there's no more egotistical thing in the world. Like, I want to watch me live.

Like you're you are live. You're on. I will say that overall from the experiences I have listening to podcasts, when two comedians get together to suck each other's balls, it is super boring and pretentious. But this was next level because these are nobody's who obviously have never crafted a good joke, who are trying to crack themselves up at some points and at other points are just bland and painfully boring for no reason whatsoever. There's no reason for this conversation to exist.

And that being said, I will guarantee you that Matt will message you right when this comes out and goes, I would love to be on your show. I know Dave Koolie. And he will message you and ask. I actually did just because I, that's the way I am. I messaged him yesterday and said, you know, there's this podcast and he had not heard of it. And I go, well, you're going to.

It's called the word podcast. And you are going to be featured on it, my friend. And he goes, pull no punches. And I'm like, oh, I will not. And we're springboarding his career today here on WATP. Does it kinda guy that will be very excited about this? Paul not so much, but Matt will actually take this as a badge of honor.

Oh, good. I hope that he does. And he's that kinda guy. He will laugh at this. He actually, in like kinda like me, and that's why I was like kinda happy to throw it up. He'll listen to and probably make some changes. He's that kind of guy.

Fix your audio, Matt, please. The levels are terrible. You need to mix it better. You need to learn how to mic control, which every comedian should already know, but you guys obviously did not. And since I'm talking to Matt Directive, you ever want to come on this show

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That's good stuff. I like that. Those guys were invading the White House. I was like, how are they so quick? I'm like, oh, their balls are shaved. It must be minced. No chafing. Did you see anybody in their itching their crotch?

Well, they were taking a selfie. Not a single one. They all seem confident. Right. Exactly. All right, I have to play something real quick for you guys. This will be a short segment, but it's very important. All right, I have to tell you that I was watching the Anthony Cumia show the other day on Compound Media. It's the place where Pat and I met for the first time was the Anthony Cumia show the other day on Compound Media. It's the place where Pat and I met for the first time

was the Anthony Cumia show. Pat has been a guest on there a number of times. I'm sure you'll be back again soon. I have to just start saying the inward again to let me back on. That'll be fine. That's the formula. I'm kidding.

They're wonderfully racist people. They're great. So Anthony brought up a tweet that Opie put out there. And this is really amazing. I just want to play everyone to subscribe to compound media because it's a lot of fun. This is Anthony with Dave Lando and they're talking about somebody tweeted at Opie saying, why aren't you as big as Rogan or you should be as big as Rogan and OP replied in just the most opiest way possible. Rogan would be very easy to beat.

I haven't ruled it out yet. So with everything OP's done since he was fired from serious, he could at any time get on some platform. I don't know what and get a podcast and beat Rogan. Why would OP to eat that he would be able to beat Rogan easily? I because of you follow OP. It's the only reason why so I can like I can hear it first of all. I can't wait to Carl talks about this and I read that right away and then I heard who you talk about it to and I was like even for OP that was delusional. Like that was insane.

Well the guy was given a chance to be successful at podcasting by Westwood one. They said we're gonna hire you, we'll build a studio for you, whatever you need. OP radio is now a podcast and last I checked Westwood one has a hundred different podcasts on their platform. OP could not make it a year with them. He's always blamed there. I was so hurt. His sidekick was. It's always their fault. It's always something that was back when Carl Ruiz was still alive.

And he couldn't make it. Okay, so Anthony explains why Opie would not be able to overtake Joe Rogan if he tried. Um, Opie is a boring guy. He's a boring guy. And when he's interviewing someone for whatever that is, I don't even think it's an interview. It's just this inane rambling that he does. It's not interesting.

When it's him alone, it's really not. It's this off base, just fucking whatever he sees, Hey, bottle cap, you know, dude a bottle cap and then a pen. I saw that. That's the opster. So to like to even say that he would beat Rogan. start with fucking uh... so the uh... uh... so a little bit of a lower profile show start with one thousand comics podcast i can do better than that he's like okay yeah alright let's let's try that first no what though opi with mad he's could be the show that does all that's a good team up together

you know dame koolie, OP, you know? I just love, I could not have said it better. I think we're breaking down OP perfectly. He's a boring guy. And he didn't use to always be this boring. It's the reason why we don't really talk about him as much anymore is because all he does is stay inside his house with his family and go on Facebook Live and read comments from people.

It's a very boring existence. He has no wife experience, nothing to talk about. He doesn't want to talk about the opening Anthony days unless it's on his terms. So there's nothing going on there. It doesn't talk about Jim anymore. Anything that was ever funny or fun in his life, he does not talk about. Joe Rogan on the other hand. It's a very interesting person. See what you want?

I know Jerry's fun to shit on these days. And we all want to say he sucks at podcasting. He is a very compelling and interesting for you. There's a fascinating life, which is why he's good at podcast. I don't know. People know this, but there's a small company called Spotify that donated a couple bucks to Joe. Yeah.

To, to, to, on his rights. You know, just, most ridiculous amount of money. He's basically the tonight's show of Bob Gag. He's become that level. So that's where Elizabeth Lotto said that a while back, like, I can match with Joe Rogan. We laughed at her, but I still believe she could do better than OP. Oh, for sure, she's doing better than OP. Check the charts. I bet we can figure that out.

But to your point, though, Dave Landau also breaks out a similar point. I'm going he just made up 100 million dollars Yeah, yeah, he was very easy to beat you should jump on that I would do it in a second if I knew I could beat him that way You would be offered 100 million million. Yeah, but, oh, sir, you don't care, man. I'm just doing what I like now, dude. That's why it's so absurd to say I'm better than Joe Rogan's like, okay, then get the contract. Why wouldn't you want to make $100 million? What's stopping you from doing that? If you can't, if you can't do it, then you're an idiot if you don't. If you're just sitting on the potential, which is the greatest show of all times, but just don't feel like it,

but want to let people know you could, you're fucking moron. It's baffling that he puts this on the internet so that we can make fun of him. I do appreciate that. So, because they're having this conversation about OP, you know, Anthony gives us a quick shout out, which I really appreciate. But then he asks a question that I actually have the answer to. So, Anthony, this is for you specifically my friend uh... yes so that was uh... the opster today i can't wait till a who are these podcasts get a hold of that him and sam have the same uh...

did they not like each other uh... opi opi is never really unloaded on sam i don't think you like some that's for sure. He's sitting in his fucking seat. Like he doesn't, I don't think he likes that. He's your son of the intern dynamic, but I don't know if you know. Yeah, yeah, you've all from that. Yeah, but they were off off Mike friends.

Uh, yeah, their girls were their girls were. That was always a thing with the upstairs girl Would that ended quickly once? Sam took over yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah That I did it quickly. Yeah, I don't think I'll be appreciating Sam Roberts That voice you heard was Garrett who had a little behind-the-scenes knowledge about their relationship and Apparently when Sam took over the morning show, that relationship fizzled.

Now, the question was, OP talk shit about Jim Norton all the time. He talked shit about Anthony, talked shit about Roland, he talked shit about every single person he's ever worked with. How does he feel about Sam Roberts? I have the answer.

He doesn't talk about Sam Roberts very often. In fact, from what I've documented, this is the one time that he's brought him up. And because of my amazing filing system, when Anthony asked that question, I was able to find it right away. This is from probably a little over a year ago. I honestly could tell you that I think Sam is the worst out of all of them. The guy went on vacation with my family. He was at family functions. He was in the hospital when both my kids were born. And for him to do what he did a few years ago

is just unforgivable to be honest with you. I think it's a very, very damaged person. So that's interesting because OP hates everybody and Sam is the worst of all of them. And he doesn't really talk about it very much. He's the Hitler. You could tell he's very upset about that. That's the one time he brought it up.

He does not want to talk about Sam Roberts. He feels betrayed by that little twink. Yeah. Yeah, he was there for both his children's births. Well, which is funny because he's pissed at Sam who was there with him on vacation when his kids were born. He's pissed at Anthony because Anthony never came over to his house.

What is it? Anthony come to my house. What is it? What do you want people to do? Get wet. It's tired that Sam was there too much and they took an opportunity when he handed to him. Can't fucking win with this guy.

Oh, an asshole. What an asshole. Speaking of assholes Gaky, yeah Stunner and John what is he been up to lately? Well, he's telling a labrit lies on his podcast. He's such a fucking moron He needs to move a piano or store a piano or get a piano fixed for some fucking reason the big topic that's going on Pat you probably haven't heard this yet because you don't you don't subscribe to Stuttering John show, right?

I just guess. I want you to listen to this story and see if you could figure out the problem with this anecdote. The piano has some sentimental value because I, uh, uh, okay. So it was in my first house. And, you know, I really wanted the piano, you know, because I, you know, I knew I was having kids. And I think my mom has a gift,

there's a housewarming gift, bought the piano. But not only is it sentimental to me because it was in my first house, it's also sentimental because it has the handprints of a married couple that lived in that house years and years before from 1955. So it kind of had a special sentimental you know, sentimental value to me. That doesn't make any sense, Rick. His mom bought him the piano as a housewarming

gift. Are you following this? Maybe. Maybe. As the best part, it has sentimental value. And I think my mom bought it for us. But it doesn't have sentimental value. And then you don't even know. And then immediately after what he says, it has the fingerprints of the people who lived in my house previously on it Which means the piano came with the house and Also, these are people who live in your house before you did. Why is that sentimental? What does that do with I like there's people in my house? I never met them I don't know these fucking people. I still get their mail from time to time other than that

I don't give a shit about these people There's like other like other other people sentiment that's not yours like I can't have that I'm looking over to pool table now the pool table came with the house I assume people lived here before me touched it I don't give a fuck I wouldn't want to carry this to my next house because people looked at me for me touched the fucking pool table what does that even mean what you're talking about? Well, even your will to like your children someday because they found it in your house My my I think my mom got it for me, but it was there when I got there He's so stupid I don't it's very important to me

I can't remember where it came from who gave it to me or why I have it I don't even play the piano, but it's very important and it's broken It doesn't even work. It's the stupidest thing. And I love the trolls that are talking to him because they have the best names. This one's great. Wearing Crocs in public.

John Stoyu Piano at Leno's Garage. God knows he's got the room. He does, but there's no way I'm asking Jay to store my piano there. Wearing Crocs in public, well done, sir. That's fucking funny. I'm asking Jay to store my piano there. Where he cracks it, Bob? Well done, sir, that's fucking funny. So John is shilling, he needs money. He's raising money because he has some goals

and he needs money for something very specifically. Patty Summer, are you actually looking for donations to pay to move a piano? No, I'm not. I was just telling a story about this piano. Oh, this is why the piano. See, here's his thing. I had a piano. It was in my first house that I have a bought in Bavila Long Island. And the donations are not paying for a piano. The donations are hopefully going to pay for Final Cut Pro, which I'm gonna get so I can edit promos for the show

and try and get my fat ass on like a news network, like CNN, MSNBC, I don't care. So Final Cut Pro is about $400. I like to get a camera, that's about $500. I'm not using your money to pay for a piano. That I promise. All right, none of this makes any sense to me. So he's trying to raise as much money as possible. I assume he has bills, he has other needs.

Does he take the money and put it in a separate account and make sure that only goes towards software? And also, and I'm not trying to be a big shot here, but he can't afford fucking software. He has to raise money to buy the software that he needs. He can't afford a software. I'm not gonna raise your money with something stupid, like moving a bit, oh. I'm gonna do it with a chance for me to somehow be on CNN.

Yes. You're not gonna be on CNN. What are you talking about? Oh my gosh. This is such a hair-brained idea that he has. I love the fact that he has to raise money for a camera and software to which he says is less than $1,000. You don't have a credit for $1,000, no, you can't buy, you can't physically buy this shit now.

That's amazing, first off. But then his delusions of grandeur, listen to this, and this is a little bit of a longer clip, but this is him explaining that he has three goals. This is why he needs to raise this money. And I really want to thank you all for all the super chats. It was great. I mean, I appreciate it.

It all goes to a good cause. I mean, I got two goals. Well, I have three. I have the, I have to get the final cut pro so I can edit things and keep putting them up so I can promote this show on on social media and also cut a nice reel and give it to my agent so I can get it out to some of the networks because really, all right, I'm gonna, I just pause it for a second. John, just having final cut pro doesn't create a real for you.

You also have to be able to have good footage to choose from and learn how to edit with the software. And who's gonna do this for you? John's terrible with computers. He's gonna start using Final Cut Pro. That's gonna be his first take on using software. Here's how stupid Stuttering John is. Hey John, this is real advice. Carl's been doing this for you for a year. He's caught every funny thing you've ever said. You just don't realize it's funny because you're stupid. He's made you a real clip.

Go through every show. Take all the cuts that he does of you saying dumb shit and sell that to people. If they think you're doing it on purpose, you'd get hired. Ask someone they're sub-renot to do it. They'd be they'd do a propono for you. Be a fun product. I don't know you cut his clips for every week. This is so fucking funny. All right, I'm just backing that up a little bit. Let's listen to the rest of us really Think about it people

Who would be better? for a CNN or MSNBC to have in Washington to confront all these politicians than me? There is literally everybody, literally every single person would be better at that than you. There is no one more tenacious and able to sneak in to two places. I've done it before for Howard Stern. I will do it again for America, because I really think it's necessary. And so I need that.

I need my camera so I can look a lot cuter than I do already. And I need a phone system. Those are the three things. So I appreciate everyone donating through super chats. There's my paper. There's so much wrong with this clip. He's been talking about this phone. You did it 20 years ago. Yeah. We don't know. It's already on the internet. Everyone has seen you interview celebrities. It's already out there. They know you. Yeah. By the way, I know. Now it days nobody wants to hear you just go, uh, by the way, I know if that's what,

now it days nobody wants to hear you just go, ah, how's your balls? Like that's your interview process. Right, it's kind of tired now. And he says, he's been saying this for close to a year. He needs money to buy a phone system so that he can take calls on his show. And this is the guy who needs Final Cut Pro.

Do you not know that you can just get a Google voice number and allow anyone to call you at any time? There's so many ways to do this with software. Skype can take fucking phone calls you moron. What do you think? Why do you need a phone system? What are you talking about? Do you have no staff at all?

No, everyone's abandon him. When he started doing this podcast, he had his buddy Royce was his co-host, and he had another guy who was actually an engineer and producer, and they were in a studio, which was in Royce's arcade. He has lost everything. He has by himself. Says.

That does make sense. It's how it should have happened. I was actually sadder that if there were people there believing in him, I feel better than no one believes in it. Well, he does have these moderators and he talks about Nikki B and, you know, poor Nikki B. She doesn't know any better. But there's this other dude who I call hockey puck and hockey puck has been modding for

him, but not only modding for him, he comes into our discord, into our subredreddit, he listens to our show, and he goes back to John and says, is it what they're saying about you? And Carl said this, and this happened, and that happened, which I find, I just, I don't like snitches, I don't like tantal tales, I find that very annoying. If John wasn't what I'm saying, he just listened to the fucking show. Would that be the easier way to do it? I'll give you a hockey puck, that's paddles. Yeah, mentioned in your stupid show. So here's something that's interesting though. People have been noticing that hockey puck has been missing lately from the show. Love it.

Nikki Bay is here. Thank you, Nikki, for being my moderator. Now that Sean is out of the country. Sean is out of the country. Now this is weird because Sean lives in Canada. Hockey puck lives in Canada. And he's like, well, he's out of the country. Now this is weird because Sean lives in Canada. Hockey puck lives in Canada. And he's like, well, he's out of the country. What does it have to do with moderating YouTube?

What does it do with the internet? What country is he in in Antarctica? Where does he not getting the internet? And this is a big sense. I think he's a bad at them. That's what my guess. I'm hoping. He's international phone system so I can speak to him.

Ha ha ha ha. Uh, do you, why if I can't reach across the Atlantic, dummy? Ha ha ha. You know, the signal does it. You can see why if I have a car? Ha ha ha. Fuck it, idiot. Oh, man.

And then, uh, this Suddory John threatens once again. Check, uh, sue me. And it's so weird. He's talking about me. This is Andy the trucker who gets him going out of this. But he's so stupid. Carolyn Garmin, Andy the trucker, thanks for the 299.

Some show what after my grandchild today, well, that would be kind of impossible since I don't have any grandchildren. But yeah, if, you know, but thanks for letting me know, because if they do go after any of my kids, they're gonna have a lot of problems. And I do know what ad-aid it lives. I have his address, phone number, and everything else.

He is talking about me right now, by the way. So he will be served if that's the case. My kids are minors, okay? Just keep that in mind, you idiots. And they don't ask to be in the public eye. They do not, you know, they're not, you know, out there on TV. This is what pisses me off, and this has happened before. I've seen this a lot of times.

Someone talks about their children on their show, and then you talk about them talking about their children, you're going after my kids! No, you made this the conversation. I don't give a fuck about your kids. I like goofing on your show, it sucks. So when you talk about your kids couldn't make it over for Christmas because they thought you had COVID I'm gonna talk about that. That's funny

And I mean a good thing that his kids don't want to be in the public spot like because they are Southern Johns kids Oh, they never will be so it's fantastic. Right like it worked out He's so funny. He thinks he's a celebrity. He's like, my kids didn't ask for this level of celebrity that I have. What are you talking about, John? Your husband. When you went to his celebrity, you address it to masses. You don't just go, hey, Carl, cut it out. What the hell are you doing? Well, it's crazy to me because there was this other podcast that I had a little feud with years ago,

who the same thing, like somebody put in the comment section of their podcast This woman talks about her kids too much and she got on her show She's just like this woman's talking about my kids. We got to take her down. She doxed her because of it It's like dummy. You're talking about your kids in your show. You're making it the topic It's I just did a show I just did an appearance with Drew and Mike and we were talking about busy Philips Busy Philips because on her podcast and talks about how her 12-year-old just came out as gay and goes by the pronouns they them. It's like, what are you doing?

Why are you talking about your 12-year-old's personal business? Why are you making this part of the show and part of the conversation that we're all having? You fucking moron. Keep the shit private. John, keep your shit private with your kids. If you don't want to talk about it. If you don't mind us talking about it, then please tell us all about it.

I'm happy to use this fodder. So you want us to listen to it, but we can't discuss it. Right. We can't have an opinion on it, but we have to listen to your drivel. Tradiculous. Even let your kids talk about themselves and we'll listen to them, or shut the fuck up. Or shut the fuck up. And then once again, and I brought this up before,

but when you get sponsors to your podcast, they will send you product so that you can use it and talk about it and know what you're talking about. So John got Manscaped and decided that was gonna be the Christmas gift for his son. I wanna thank my sponsors, Manscaped. I can't wait till my son comes over tomorrow,

or Sunday to open up his Manscaped Kit that I bought for him. I want to thank BenOnline.ag. To open up his Manscaped Kit that I bought for him. You fucking liar, you just said I want to thank my sponsor Manscaped. And then like, and by the way, I bought him a Manscaped. That would be a break even for you, Ja. That's probably how much they paid you to read their ads. So that doesn't make any sense at all.

You just gave me your free swag. Yeah, you just gave your kid. I thought his kids were old. They're minors. He's shaving his balls. I know. Not him, it makes any sense. That's why we have to talk about it, man.

And your kids are not coming over. No, that's why we have to talk about it. Well, my kid comes over Saturday, Sunday, or whenever my kid finds out I exist, and he gets more, he can shave his balls with me. I got two nose trimmers, which by the way, are an amazing product, but I got two of them from ASCII, so I gave one to my brother as a goof.

And Kai wasn't just like, hey, look what I got for him, thinking about your own December. Check this out. Hey, son, I've been thinking about your dick a lot. Here's a gift. You're not gonna believe what I got you. Make sure dick look bigger by comparison. Now, ours look the same.

So, shaved down the bush, the chicks love it. The fuck? Oh my gosh, one more thing, Pat. Are you able to hang out for a second? There's one more thing that I have to talk about. Don't tell me you don't like my show. Don't tell me you don't like my show. Don't tell me. I go for the girl. Because that's absurd. Pat, you're familiar with our front Patrick Michael, right?

Yes. So Patrick Michael is hosting the show called The Briefcase that we all enjoy quite a bit. He put out an episode very recently that was 45 minutes or so and he's really going off the deep end here. He's getting very upset with people messaging him on Instagram and making comments. It's actually getting a little bit boring and repetitive to be honest with you because it's kind of the same episode every fucking time now. I was like, oh, so and so said, I suck at podcasts.

I'm okay. Well, it's gonna happen. I don't know what to tell you, especially when you keep encouraging it. But I had to play a couple of clips because he did come up with a new name for our podcast that I thought was pretty fun. Carl from that, I don't even remember what it is. Who are these pussy's or something?

I don't even remember. It's some ridiculous podcast that reviews other podcasts and they really like me a lot. So it's kind of nice. That is true. We do really like you a lot. We are pussy's. Who are these pussy's?

It's not bad. He doesn't know what the name is, but he didn't get on. Like, who are these pussy's? Like, if you didn't know you go like something about pussy's or a garbage can thing, he knows exactly your name. Oh no, thought that that was a sick burn and he's got he's got another one for us. I just imagine if I was actually ever speak to Carl or hear

his voice it would be like hey what's up guys you guys you want to play dodgeball or fourth-grader something I guess it's really sweet red ball I mean can you go play in the sand maybe when playing a sand. That's like I could play in the sand. So if you want me to come along, it'd be cool. I really like to have some friends. Anyways, I love it. I don't care. And I don't care.

And he doesn't care. What's sad about that is that there are a lot of things that make fun of me about. I can't pronounce the word exactly. Exactly right. It was pretty good. I tried that time. I tried to picture it in my hat. I was waiting. So word exactly. Exactly right. That's pretty good. I tried that time. I tried to picture it in my hat.

I was waiting. So I was saying it correctly. But there's a lot of things. If you just look at the picture of me on the internet, there's like 18 things right there you can make fun of me for. And this guy comes up with like, oh, you guys want to play that label? Like, well, then there's not reality there.

What are you talking about? It's not a very important thing. One thing you do have is a voice for radio and podcasting anyone that's listen to this knows your voice fits perfectly for it. And he did a voice that's not even yours. Then said if there was any way you can ever hear your voice, he bets it's out. There's a way, sir. It's a fucking way.

As a show that you just fucking mentioned, you can hear it every day. No, it's, it's really just the waziest. It's soft moroc and not well-acsecuted. I think it could do better. He's a young boy, right? He's in the young. He's in his 30s. Oh God.

I'm sorry. I was waiting for that. That's the thing that everybody's like, oh, that changes everything I thought we were just 22 year olds like no, no, this guy is two kids and is in his 30s and this is how he behaves So he's career that he's ruining. So he carries himself. I hope him and his kids man scape together as well Don't talk about my kids in his kids' manscaped together as well. Don't talk about my kids! Pat!

I'm gonna sue the shit out of you. Don't talk about my kids' dick! I'll talk about my kids' dick in the gift I fucking fake gifted him. Don't you talk about it. That's the other way we end up doing the worst gift of fathers ever given to son ever. That's the other really funny thing is that he's talking about He's talking about suing me for talking about his kid. He's in a lawsuit with serious X-EV right now I don't think he can open up a ton of more lawsuit at this time It's probably

Once my kid visits me and I give him this new thing of blue chew. Blue chew is my child. Because my kid wants that baby. If you're gonna shave it. All right, so Patrick Michael is talking all about these drug messages he's getting and these comments he's getting on Instagram. And a guy named Carlos messages him. And so he's got a joke for that. You know, his default picture is the Batman logo.

So all I know is his name is Carlos and he must be a fan of DC. So all I say to him is I say, Hey man, how did you manage to find the time to use the family computer when you obviously live in a house with 65 other people? Okay, making a joke at the fact that he's Mexican. Ta-da, that's how you do it, folks. And I did it quick. So don't give me shit for not being great. All right. I don't put that music in. That's his show, by the way. Okay, is anyone's wondering? All right, Pat, did you follow that joke? He did the Matt Heath style of comedy. He explained the joke. He explained the joke. He's joke is your name is Carlos. So you have to live with a lot of people.

Usually that joke is about being in a car with a lot of people like like 18 Puerto Ricans in a Hyundai is not usually 46 Mexicans in a house. But I kind of knew what he was saying. They all don't move out from each other. Well, the thing that confused me, I don't know why he leaned into the Batman logo thing. He goes, he's a Batman logo. He's into DC. So I said, you live with 46 family members and I was like, I didn't understand that. I didn't know if there was like a thing with DC fans that they have big families or they

Mormon. I don't know. And he was going for the two reasons why you live at home. You're Mexican and you like comic books. I guess you could go there to the double wedding. Right. Living in your own basement. But I don't think he was really going there.

That's how you craft a joke. And what's funny is he even says, I did it very quickly. That's why it wasn't very good. Pat had less time than you did to figure out what the egg will should be. But when somebody responds with a laughing emoji, so he'll respond to someone with something like that, like a sweet quip like that.

And if somebody responds to the laughing emoji, that proves the Patrick Michael wins. I guess what I'm saying is, you feel like you win. When you can respond to whoever this person is that thinks they know you, and you can also get them to accept the fact that, oh, you are funny, because he can't deny that now.

No matter how much he hates everything I do, I made you laugh, buddy. That's a win. That's a win in my column, for sure. So when you put a laughing emoji on social media, does that mean that you actually laughed at something? Oh, this is a poor man. Oh, they think you're retarded and you're a waste of time.

That's why you put it. You put it like when someone says something, you're like, oh, this is going nowhere. Let me just put the laugh face soak. This is the way I end the conversation. Because if they thought it was good, they would have said like, good one. Or you got me on that and tried to go back and forth with you.

They realized they were battling or a tardy person. And like, here's a face they'll make you happy, a little tard, and then win away. It's not a good. It's like when you're texting with a chick that you like, and she just responds with a thumbs up and ends the conversation You're like, ah you're not like taking a victory lab like oh the chick bike the thing that I texted her There's a girl that you're kind of scared of and she texts you and she tries to be funny

It gets real scary because you think she has to go dark because you're a comic and then you just write like a laughing face and then block her All right, so Someone else pretending to be someone they aren't message him on Insta and talked about his $5 headphones and he was all proud of that we documented on last week's episode. So this is a weird flex here. And they were talking about my $5 headphones. Oh god. Talking about my five dollar headphones and how I should get real headphones and my fiance should buy and form me for Christmas or I should get a real job.

Just real clever, classy stuff. Okay. So I literally didn't waste any time okay I could have sat there and and wrote some bullshit back to him right take my time and respond be like cool jab man cool jab feels like a rabbit punch though but cool jab with the headphone talk what the fuck do you mean like I do I have a wall of headphones as primarily mentioned and I do this by myself most of the time. Bad, he's got a whole wall of headphones.

How dare you make fun of his cheap headphones. They might be cheap, but he's got a hundred of them. It's made of headphones, like the entire thing. It's just built wall to wall of headphones. All it is. I think with headphones. My favorite thing about it is that three times he always says he did something quick. Yes, but takes the longest time possible to tell you he did something quick.

Like why are you now not being quick? If you're so quick and you're bragging about it, why don't just be quick and show us this quickness. Instead of recapping the quickness with slowness. I've never once, and I've been proud of things that I've tweeted and stuff I've never once come on here and told you the sick tweet that I had you should have seen when I put out what Trump got kicked off Twitter it was so witty and funny. Let me recap it for you If I've ever mentioned anything on social media. It's because someone else wrote something funny

You guys need to go check this out. I've never gone this guy wrote this thing and then I put L.O.L That's it. So this guy was quick. How was quick? This guy you called me up or if I having five-dollar headphones what Patrick Muglet decided to do was to video call him. I guess is the feature on Instagram that you can do a direct direct direct video call. And this is him talking about that. This is not your regular phone call. Okay. This is a visual. And of course I lose it.

I said many of things that I really wouldn't say to anybody other than somebody I'm willing to fight for sure. And let's just say he didn't get many words out. This is a guy who doesn't care when you tell him he sucks. He had a video call this guy back, and mother fuckers that they were gonna have a street fight over. And by the way, this guy who did this is El Bad Humbray, which I'm trying to bring on the show.

He said he would come on the show and tell us all about this video chat that he had. With Patrick Michael, you're unmuted on my end, buddy. If you want to unmute yourself, feel free to come on the show. Hey, what's up, Carl? Hey, there he is. What's your name?

Do you go by, sir? I don't really care. Elbat, Ombre. Elbat, Ombre. So, or you can just call me a beener. All right, beener. That's easier for me. Thank you. So right beener. That's easier for me. Thank you So beener you messaged Patrick Michael. What did you say specifically to Patrick?

Alright, so let me get the screenshot of the messages because he left out the greatest part which was the ending Okay So I sent him a message to be the kind of guy that leaves the greatest parts out He's the hero of his own stories. Okay, so I sent him a picture of the fat head headphones that he was bragging about I went to five below to check him out and they were just a piece of shit. They were cheap plastic You think five dollar headphones are five blow suck it. Oh shit They're not bows. Yeah, I know And then I told him that he should have told his fiance to buy him a better pair for Christmas

And then I told I sent him a picture of my headphones and told him that that's what real headphones look like Why don't you get a real job? Maybe then you can afford good things? Elima you you section eight housing trailer trash, shit game show podcast hosting, Red Hat, Stepchild, Ass Bitch. I didn't go over. If he was upset by this, I can't believe it. Apparently.

All right, so he then video, or did this go back and forth a little bit first? No, not really. I sent him the message and then I was going to record a voice message to send him just to fuck with him. And that's when I got the first call from him. Alright, so let me play you. He's talking about video calling you and he tells a fun story about it. They took a jab at the fact that I had my shirt off and called me a homosexual. Peter! Good job, Peter.

Okay. Yeah, he had a shirt off for some reason. That shit was fucking weird. I didn't expect them to fucking show up without a fucking shirt. Start screaming at me, calling me a faggot That is weird You mess you trying to dig I think he was he needed a diaper on the fly. You know, it's so funny about all of this Nobody gets more shit. I shouldn't say nobody

But I get more shit from people on the internet than a lot of fucking people. Like, I get legit people threatening me who found my phone number and text me directly. And if I get a message like that, I'd be laughing my ass off. That's one of the funniest fucking things. Husk, this guy have no sense of humor to want to fight you. That was a very funny message. Like, literally, I would have responded by mentioning one of the things and going, that part wasn't cool. I guess it's a joke.

I would let everything guys go. And in front of one thing. Who's scruffy looking? You would have appreciated the effort you put into it. Yes. For him to go, I'm going shirtless and bringing it to a new level is insane. Well, he goes on to explain that this call that he made really scared our buddy, Beener. You know, of course I blocked this person and you know, he can go tell his friend how cool it was,

but also tell him how scared he was to answer the fucking phone and show his face. Tell him that too. Don't forget to mention that. Don't forget to mention that, Beener. Is that true? Were you scared? All right, that was not true, man.

I didn't answer the first call because I was trying to set up a way to record it on the phone. Smart. And ultimately, I did figure it out, but it didn't record audio. So I just got the video of him just walking circles in his apartment. You posted pictures of it in our discord. I saw them.

He was very pixelated. It seems like he doesn't have a really strong Wi-Fi. Oh yeah, it reminded me. I was laughing so hard. That's why I could barely get a word. And it reminded me of when he was on kill Tony And they were shitting on him for his internet connection, right and I kept telling him to go fix his fucking internet So then he did call you and he says that he fucking called you out hard though. Oh

Yeah, he did I was scared. Oh Being well done my friend anything else that that you want to say about your experience here Uh, not really. I just don't understand why he says he doesn't care so much and then he fucking calls me And he's like hey, man. Where you at? Where do you live at? I've got a car. I can drive over there, man Like all right You don't sound like someone that doesn't fucking care Like, alright. You don't sound like someone that doesn't fucking care. I'm glad you brought that up because I listened to this episode and he goes back and forth

between I block everyone. This person's having this thing, I just block them. I like to engage in long threads and go back and forth. I'm so quick and I have all these quips and I go back and forth. It's like, well, which is it? He's so confused about how he deals with this. He doesn't even know. Yeah, he doesn't even know.

He doesn't know what he's doing. It seems like that. Yeah. He's a crazy person. He doesn't know what he's doing. And seems like that. Yeah, he's a crazy person. Why are you trying to break down this crazy person? I love him when I feel like that. Confunding him, but just stay away from that person. You just block that person. They're nuts.

The person called you and said, I'm going to drive to your house and fight you. Stay away from that thing. That's a bad thing. Carl, get away from this thing. This is a terrible thing. I'm glad you said that because I was gonna Put this out there on this show and I don't know that I have the ability to even control any of this But I think it'd be fun if everyone just stopped messaging him all at once No more communication all because he's been bitching about it for the last couple of weeks now if it all dried up

Would he then be upset that he's not gonna get that. I think that would might be something. Only gets listened because of you. No one knows what a fuck he is. They listen so they can have their, they're doing their homework to listen to. Yes, I know. Then, so if you just said,

done with him, we're not doing it. If you did that to him and Stuttering John, the two of them would have to live together. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Thanks from Patrick Michael and I have to wonder does this does the same thing happen to other people Our other podcast podcasters dealing with um or anybody who's doing anything Creative and on their own Do they deal with it? Yes? The answer is yes. I guarantee you I get more threats than you do Got shit on by this show and then Carl and I became friends.

Right. Yeah, that's how you deal with it. Sometimes you act like a human being. That's how you deal with it. That's how you deal with it. Um, all right. So he gets very confused now, because now he's talking about, I would be nothing without him, Patrick Michael is saying this.

But then he realizes that I have 50 times a number of Patreon supporters that he does. So then he realizes mid-sentence that what he's saying isn't correct. And he tries to stop and change course, but it's a very hard tie with it. Even just the one, the leader, you're not very organized. This isn't working.

Whatever your goal is, I don't see it. I don't see you getting to it. Because dude, whoever is listening to your show has came and listened to my show and then also stayed. Because if you have this 800 plus Patreon following how come I'm not ha dude now that would be an issue right what would be an issue what 800 people going and listening to your shit and telling you that it sucked it's a lot of people I could somebody translate that for me I'm lost I'm completely lost that it sucked. That's a lot of people. I could somebody translate that for me. I'm lost. I'm completely lost on that one.

Just realize how many deflection his whole soul dropped and he was just like, does that mean at 1.800 people listen to me? He didn't know what to do with it. He, I think in reality, he thinks you might add 40 in the S 20 or so and he was like hey, oh fuck 800 people have heard this shit that's crazy right? He's like that's what happened Patrick, it's worse than that. We only have a small percentage of people who listen to the show who support us on Patreon thousands and thousands of people have heard us making fun of you on this show and not

all of them go to check out your show and go, Carl was wrong. This guy is great. Now they're just looking for granted. Just a few maybe do that, just a few. You're obviously nice about it. Every time I've been on you're like, you know Patrick, my great, like only from this. Well, I wouldn't know him from anywhere else.

I know. You're like, we love him, but you know you don't, but it's a lay. He just gulped on that like that 800 hole. Like it was just, it was a hard. Yeah. So then he gets into because people who listen to this show, listen to his show, he can then extrapolate who those people are by looking at his anchor dot FM analytics, which is crazy. This is another one where I actually asked the discord, like, you guys should have this episode,

what the fuck's he talking about? I can see the numbers. I can see the numbers. In fact, I can even see the city. Maybe the town. In which you're listening. But hey, would I really go through all that trouble? Would I be the guy to go through all that trouble?

Do I have that kind of time to go through all that trouble? It's just so much extra work folks. But hey, who knows what I'm doing in the times when the episodes aren't coming out? Who knows what I'm doing, right? You guys know I'm not doing anything, right? You're for sure. You know I'm just staring at a wall. So the ominous music comes in. I think he's threatening me or our listeners or someone. I think it's another basketball challenge. All right, let's do it. So I thought he was trying to be funny at first, like, tongue and cheek, like, oh, I'm not gonna do it.

Then he is really leaned into him, like, oh, he's threatening people. Oh yeah, in fact, I wanna get back to that clip, but let me play you this because he brings in scary voices to make it even more ominous sounding. Because as this person who I called got to see, I'm not... Got to see I'm not

Regular Period You'll get it You're also not gonna podcasting, you're podcasting! You're podcasting stinks. So that does. Podcast hitman thinks that he's maybe talking about him. If he's talking about finding out where people live, what's sitting there in, I live in Rochester. I've mentioned this many, many times.

I'm in the city of Rochester, New York. I've mentioned this many, many times. So it's not a mystery. I don't know how anchored out of him, Annelitis, he's gonna help you kick somebody's ass. I really don't understand that at all. And Patrick, here's the point. I guess here's the point that I wanna make.

Tough guy. Have a little bit of fun. Have a little bit of fun. This could have been a wild ride, you and I. If you would have had just a little bit of fun with this, like Pat's talking about, who knows? You and I could be like doing crossover episodes for each of our patronants right now.

Like I do with Think Master's in this week. Like, you could have just had a little bit of five made for the dick show. I made for the patch show. Have some fun with an asshole. Subthreatening people. It's weird. I just think he doesn't know how to have fun. He's obviously got a social issue.

So therefore he thinks that this is being taken as fun because people are listening. And I really do think he would never fight, it doesn't sound like a fighting person. I think he wanted, he wanted Beener to like embrace him. He like beaks, he want Beener to be excited and he got a call from his hero. And he's like, you know what I mean? Yeah.

Oh wow, I'm getting a call from Patrick Michael. He doesn't know what he's doing. So he thinks, I'll do the saw voice thing. Or I'll do, he's just grasping it straws. Once again, I love it when Pat comes on because he's got a clarity to things. He sums it up perfectly. He looks at it from afar.

You know, I can't see the label. I'm inside the jar, but Pat comes in and he says, girl, this is what's going on. And I think you're spot on with your analysis, my friend. I do want to mention. You can't be that being said, you should make sure you have a restraining order in the style of your...

I can't blame it. Scary. I do want to mention that you can hear Pat Oates on POS and I did the POS a month or two ago. It was a ton of fun and you could find... Well, I was having the element, man, it was great. Yeah, I love the format of your show. A lot of people in podcasting,

haven't figured out a format that's fun and interesting and you bring your show. You know, a lot of people in podcasting haven't figured out a format that's fun and interesting and you bring people on, you know, the interview style format sucks, as you could tell from the 1000 comics, like, to nobody's talking to each other about how amazing they are, is not compelling content. But if you get people on and it's part of a format that you have that's interesting and it brings jokes out

and gives you a jumping off point. Then you can have a really good time with it and Pat, I do, I do love your show, P.O.I. So it's a lot better than Pat Oates is sad, your, your previous show. And I appreciate that. I learned a lot from this show and from also that P.O.S. came from my pilot on compound and when there wasn't a chance for it to get picked up, I'm like, I still like the concept. So I got up co-host and announced it, and we're having fun doing it every week.

Yeah, and you should check out Pat Oat's YouTube channel. Subscribe to that. There's no reason not to. Every time there's a fun new video out, you'll be notified of it, and you can check it out. Or not. If you don't, I will Instagram call you and take my shirt off and scream me.

Oh my God, would you please? For the first color number 10. Color number 10 will get Pat Elz to take a share to often scream at you. Believe me, every single color will get that, whatever you want. Pat Elz is always fun. Please check out his YouTube channel.

And now it's time for everybody's favorite part of the show. It's the Subreddit News. Uh-huh. And it was from the Subreddit. Regarding Joe's appearance with Andy on last week's episode, Keanu Creamz asks, does Andy actually have a brother Joe? Is this just Andy doing a slightly different voice?

Fart Pocolips now answers, Andy's brother Joe is actually just a parasitic twin that manifested as a small, disfigured face growing growing out of the left side of Andy Stumack. Fudgeical 2018, it's so weird that they sound so much alike. It's like March, Simpson's sisters. Pixels at dawn wonders, which one is the woke one? The Jerry Banfield segment got have eggs instead, thinking. Imagine being Jerry's wife, trying to make enough money so the family isn't living in cardboard boxes at the any of the chicks except Chrissy. Vickim uses me and has provided J.O. material so props to that.

KC is trying to get comfortable and has potential to get the best of the world. And I think that's why I'm trying to get the best of the world. I'm trying to get the best of the world. I'm trying to get the best of the world. I'm trying to get the best of the world. I'm trying to get the best of the world. I'm trying to get the best of the world. I'm trying to get the best of the world. I'm trying to get the any of the chicks except Chrissy. Vickim uses me and has provided J.O. material so props to that.

KC is trying to get comfortable and has potential but needs to bring it in the J.O. to the material department. Jen is alright. She's giving Carl an unenthusiastic hand job by coming on to help. It's not her thing, but she's still being a good wife and giving that hand job when asked. Chrissy can say amusing things, but calling herself a comedian annoys the piss of me, to which Gamer and WV offers. No one asked, but thanks anyway.

And Turbo reveals, it was a slow play to get Casey to post news, which prompts dead simplewits to ask, what does Casey look like? Anyone have a visual? And Dirt Merch at 1980 answers, like the color beige, if it were a person. And finally, summing up the spirit of the subreddit news itself, Skizzer proclaims,

us soldiers of the subreddit must continue to support and persevere in the hopes of receiving more pictures of review girls in cow outfits. We salute the soldiers of the subreddit, fearless, tireless, friendless, not on WATP's watch. Carry on. Thank you for that update on all things WATP subreddit and the file. You're not on there. You should check it out. It's a lot of fun people have fun posting photo shops of me and then tearing me apart.

And then I folks and then I get raged. What a murder everyone. All right, we're going to cut things a little bit short today. I don't have a teaser. I'm not going to play the outro pat. I will let you go, buddy. If you want to go we're going to listen to some voice mails and read some reviews. Well, I want to say is wherever on the subreddit said someone play the outro pat. I will let you go buddy if you want to go We're gonna listen to some voicemails and read some reviews real on the say is where we're on the subreddit said Someone was the color beige. It was a person. You are a fucking hilarious person. That's a great line

That was a great line especially describing our friend Casey the review girl good segue But guys, thank you so much for having me on I really appreciate it. Thank you so much. We'll have you on again soon buddy. Thanks Pat See you pat Casey Hey Have you on again soon buddy thanks Pat? See you Pat Casey What's up? I have a question for you Carl. Okay Um, how many nudes have you gotten from your female fans? I've gotten zero nudes from female fans Yeah, I'm not doing I'm doing something wrong. What about the male fans? Mill fans of you to be honest with you. I've gotten from your

female fans. How many? One. You've gotten one. Yeah, I've gotten some tits. Nice. How is that? How is it that our bisexual review girl gets more tits than I do? It's because I come off as a creep. Could that be it? Yeah, I wonder why that is.

There it is. All right, Casey, as you know, I do want to go watch the bills game already in progress. So if you could, let's do some reviews real quick. There's not a lot of one ones are views that have just come in Great why is that what did I what did we do this time? I don't even know I really because it's not like that last podcast had me listeners so right first one Hacks

A stop piggybacking off of other people's hard work. Okay, here we go. Good luck. Yep, next one. Yeah, exactly. Who are these guys? A bunch of Gen Xers spamming a sound board over podcasts that are actually better than they are.

Really bad guys. Stick to being Walmart greeter. That's your true calling. Boo! Stay more funny. Don't say shit for a tuncheon. It's not cute. That's gross. Master mate.

I don't know what they're talking about. This is the first time they call it shit. I've never seen it. I was hoping you bought that. I'm not a boomer. I've got it right this time. All right, garbage personalities. Can you imagine being stuck in the same room with these guys?

No wit, just arrogant ignorance. Ten minutes was all I could stand. I felt like an eternity. Vomit has more charm by forever. Erigan ignorance. That's a pretty good summation of my personality. I like that. No, they did a good job.

That is pretty good. All right, no. Just wanted to give the podcast one star. Oh, boy. And then this next one, let me know if you're confused by it. Abhorrent. The first podcast I listened to by them was episode 35.

There's bones in the chocolate and I was shocked. They say the word retarded probably 100 times and enjoy making jokes about people with intellectual disabilities, not to mention racist and sexist jokes and relishing the disturbing crimes committed against women. There is something deeply disturbing about this podcast and the men making it, I discourage anyone from listening to this. Yeah, anyone without us out to humor should not listen to this. It would be very scary. So your episode 35 was not called There's Bones in the Chocolate. I've never heard of

that. This is a review for last podcast on the left. Is that what that is? That's funny. But someone like made it two days ago on your podcast. How did you find out which podcast that was? That's impressive. I just googled it. Oh, that makes sense. I'm like, why would a sleuth? She's like, no, no, he just copy a base of what it is. Google. Oh, right. It's amazing what the internet can do for you. Forgot about that. Right, two more reviews, then we'll be done. Oh, a running gag is making fun of stuttering John for being too lazy to clean his apartment that could be featured on A&E hoarders,

Carl with a C. Can't make the effort to wear a mask during a pandemic, hypocrite, 5 out of 5. Beautiful, I love it. All right, and last one, five star. Hot Carla is loser that needs to stop yelling in the mic. Do I yell? I don't know. Hey, it wasn't for me.

I can't believe it. I can't believe it. People think I'm yelling everywhere. Oh. What are we even doing here, Carl? What are we even talking about? All right. Let's listen to some voice mails real quick.

And then let's watch some football. Here is somebody who's helping me out with my phone tree. If you're here to leave a message about the W-A-T-P episode music special. Press one. If you're here to make fun of the way Carl talks, press two. For all of their callers, please stay on the line. We'll be right with you. They're called me to watch with.

Bye-bye. Thank you. I will use that. I appreciate it. All right. This is a voicemail that came in, and there is a sequel to this voicemail. Tom, there's no link to the discord on your shitty ass website. This is our buddy Manny, by the way, the guy that I photo bombed, Dodon Tampa. I listened to the last episode and I got to your ears so I go to the subreddit and No one's posted pictures of vicketer towel costume. So I'm like, okay, I guess I've got to do the one big die hate Which is join the fucking discord at scroll for these pictures. So I don't know who are these dot Tom

No, no link to the discord. I'll see a link to your Facebook link to your Twitter A link to your it's on the about page. There's a link that's feed Apple podcast about bitch Google play who the fuck uses Google play for podcast and Like no no link to discord though. I hear you say every episode I hear you say every episode I'm going to who I love you dot com link to the discord link to the That's a good impression of me. Give us a fuck. Let's say do it. I'm gonna go to your talk talk page There's your email. There's your paper Who's fuck still uses paypal?

Patreon supercast and then there's a form where I can send you an email to have and then there's a form where I can send you an email directly if I don't know how to use a fucking email link but no discord I found this phone a book who are these dots up but no discord I'm just want to see some mil tea milters You're

You're probably seeing me stuff that I'm not dead in So Just call me back, give me the link, send me the picture directly, I don't matter, we can look it out. Bye. All he wanted to see was Vic in her cow bikini, and I felt bad for Mani that he couldn't find our discord, but that he called right back.

I called, never mind. I told earlier, but I found a, I found a link to the discord server. It was on the Reddit and I had to do some digging, but I found it on the Reddit and I got to the discord and I was able to scroll and I found a found very good so you don't have to send them to me anymore okay let's try to get into the reaction actually that was gross uh fix a real person that was just me like John again played some slapping butt stomach but yeah I love that realization. Hey, uh, man, you just see a no all those girls you jerk off to are real people. It's like, well, you know, this is me mix a real person.

They all are. It's got to find it. I thought that was I mean, it was a log. The log tattooed way to get there. I thought it was fun. Chris is not having you asked to watch football. Okay, we're moving, we're moving quickly. This is a good way to piss me off. Chris is not having it. He wants to watch football. Okay, we're moving, we're moving quickly This is a good way to piss me off. It's a leave voicemails like this Hey Carl just let me know that both beetles and weezer fucking suck the beetles for one suck because The only people who actually like the beetles are people who like music history and

Precoming out lesbians and I have plenty of empirical evidence for that fact. These are fucking sucks because these are baseless claims. Well, the music fucking sucks. They have way too many fucking chromosomes in their fucking band to account for anything of a piece of quality in their music. I'm blocking your number, bye. First off, first off. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. He knew. He knew. He knew.

He knew. He knew. He knew. He knew. He knew. He knew. He knew. He knew.

He knew. He knew. He knew. He knew. He knew. He knew. He knew. He knew. I'm not gonna debate you, Jerry. I forgot to take his that. It's the worst take ever. Oh, I'm like music history. And you want to know how George Martin produced the Bumper double double double. Again, you're just leaving a recipe of how to get to you. I know. You know what I like about

the Beatles? The songwriting. Not the songs. All right. You know what the Beatles are? They're like the Ween of the 60s. People always describe it that way. This person liked my band Angel Dust in Hoffman. Hey Carl, two boys. Just listen to that Angel Dust in Hoffman song again. With you on lead, talking crows on vocals Crows is a really talented singer and you fucking shred man

Just wanted to say I love the show Love Kevin love Kaya Doug can suck a dick. Oh Yeah, man, you do real great things for the internet and making people feel bad Thank you really bad voice now. I'm gonna. I hope that you don't play this on a show. It's great. Yeah It's a great voice pal. Keep up to great work man. I will Go tell yourself Bye, all right, you don't kill yourself either buddy. Thank you very much for that voice mail. It is appreciated Everyone loves angels that happen. That's what everyone's telling me they're like the music special. Your best work yet.

That's everyone's telling me. Getting bombarded with that. Oh, this is funny. So someone must have left my phone number. Or they probably filled out a form on a dealerships website like they're interested in a car and left the Watt Hotline phone number out in there because I got a call back from a car salesman and then I don't know is butt-dialing still a thing I don't know but I got a dozen calls from this number They were all blank but lasted like 10 to 20 seconds each. This is funny Hey Carl it's Bennett from Mossage and Son,

calling to call up about the 2020 Nissan 6, you're interested in. We do have an ear customer cash back $2,000 and bonus cash on top of that, so it's $2,500 off for even looking at the door. So if you're interested, please give me a call back. I look forward to speaking with you That actually is a guy if we had more time that's a guy that I would call back out the show that would have been fun Then Lisa six sounds like a fucking rip-off sir. Are you trying to rip me off sir? Is that what you're trying to do?

Remember Teresa case you remember Teresa Of course of course you won the battle to become the review girl Teresa hasn't called into the show in a while with her Midwestern accent, but she's back Hey, Carlis Teresa a long time no, no, I don't get why everybody is pooping on the whole Christmas episode. I mean, I thought it was kind of funny that you're playing Glory Days, the man a bunch of less than Jake. And I don't know. I thought it was kind of weird playing anthrax is bringing the noise back to back.

But I don't know. I didn't think it was too bad. But yeah, you're wanting to pose a question to you. I'm pretty much convinced that Patty C.acup is the room equivalent of podcasting and since they have What was that asshole's name? James Frankl play them in that fucking movie Who do you think would be Patrick Michael is All right, tell me that all right, so I think the question is

James Frankl played Tommy with so who would play All right, tell me that. All right, so I think the question is, James Franklin played Tommy with so, who would play Patty Seacups? I have the answer. Danny Boneducci. I don't know if that is Carl. You don't know Danny Boneducci? I who do you think would be good to play

Patrick Michael in a movie? Danny DeVito. That's so mean. It's meaner than what I said. I need to be done. So mean. I thought it was funny. Charlie day or Danny David. I want to know this too. It's a fucking retard. It doesn't stand the easiest way to get out of that is become a truck driver and deliver Coca-Cola

but done Shout out to Andy R.A. one last voicemail from our buddy crippled Jesus coming in Hey, Carl. It's CJ This voicemail is about the bonus episode for Riverside guests of the year. You didn't really do a good job. So in me, I'm Dennis Rodman's podcast being bad. I'm actually a huge fan of that podcast. But holy shit, the bird and time cast, that brings me back.

I was having PTSD because I was getting short-boss memories. Cut all that. That is truly the biggest piece of shit that I've ever heard. And good job with Saunxi for the Creek for the week. A lot of people don't know this, but Saoji actually put me in a wheelchair. So everybody go vote for Anthony Saoji and the Creek boss later.

Later, CJ, thank you so much for the call. And I agree, Dennis Roddeman's podcast is amazing. That's why I wanted to do it again. It's just so funny get doc You guys understand anything that people are telling him all right. We got to go a Casey thank you so much for coming on as always we appreciate it Mm-hmm send me more tits guys all right send more tips to Casey please The call has gone out were they were they nice tips the ones you got? Yeah, they're great nice Nice. Good for you.

I think the move ugly fans. And you say we don't pay you. We got some tits here. Mix it all worth it. Alright, let's see you guys. This is it. It's over. Okay, goodbye. Goodbye. Hey, bye.

Okay? Goodbye. Ha ha ha. Goodbye. Hey, bye. Goodbye. You can stand up.