Who Are These Podcasts? - Ep249 - This Is Paris

Episode Date: March 14, 2021

Self-made successful business tycoon Paris Hilton has a podcast. When she isn't talking about her successful acting career on a reality show, she gives you advice on how to be successful at business. Advice like - be yourself, be confident, and never let a man try to control you. You go girl. Chrissie Mayr joins us to discuss the fact that Amy Schumer isn't even trying to be funny anymore, Shuli gives Hughezy the content we wanted, John Melendez wants everyone to get fired, and Opie made $1 Billion for SXM. Plus there's a funny Bananadox impression. Double your deposit with promo code: watp MyBookie - https://bit.ly/MB_WATP 20% off your purchase with the code "watp20" https://manscaped.com/ Support us and get bonus episodes: http://bit.ly/watp-patreon https://watp.supercast.tech/ https://www.chrissiemayr.com/  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's show is brought to you by Manscaped. Manscaped has created the best ball trimmer ever the one, more 3.0, get 20% off and free shipping with the promo code watp20 at Manscaped.com. Hi, this is Hi Pitcheric and you're listening to Episodephood. 20. Are you a boner guy? Cause. Cause a row.

Cause a row. Cuzz a row. Slapperoonie. It's show time. A-T-P! P-A-T-P! W-A-T-P! W-A-E-T-P! Hello, Robert Dixon, Couseros. Welcome to another episode of Who Are These Podcasts, the only show with wall-and-wall coverage of Meghan Markle's horrible traumatic life.

I'm your host, Carl, with me this week. A woman who both John Melendez and Chad Zumak do not find to be very funny. She's the host of the Wet Spot on Comp media as well as the Chrissy mayor podcast. That's right. Gums herself Chrissy mayor. What has happened to Chrissy? Wow.

It's such an honor to be back. Thank you guys. Thanks for having me. You sound fantastic. Is the wind to come at the baseball game today? What's going on? There, you know, there's, I had to move the baseball game specifically for this podcast. I'm like look guys literally can wait the zoo can wait. I'm doing nothing today except for this podcast. Other co-hosts can

learn from you. Thank you very much. Please go to who are these.com? We get our email address, voice mail number, link to the sub right at link to the discord server, link to our merchandise, link to our YouTube channel, and of course the link to Patreon and supercast featuring two exclusive bonus episodes every single month. I just recorded another crossover episode with Dick Master sin that we'll be dropping anytime now. I don't know when it's going to be ready.

I don't know. Wait, is it too late? Not in charge of it. It's too late for me to yell something. No, go for it. B-A-T-B. There it is. Did Frank tell you to do that?

Are you going to coach over there? I'm going to discord dead. Oh, okay. Something in a chat. There it is. Did Frank tell you to do that? Are you gonna coach over there? Discoorded. Okay. Somebody in the chat. Also, we encourage our listeners to give us a five-star review on Apple Podcasts and then shit all over us in the comments section. Hopefully we'll have one of our friendly review girls

on to read some reviews later out on the show. We will see. Today, we'll be reviewing a podcast called This is Paris. Chrissy and I both listen separately. We have not discussed it with each other beforehand. Let's get into it. This is a show hosted by Paris Hilton and a guy named Hunter March. Did you know that?

Oh, I just call him Cuck. Like he just is sort of her sassy little sidekick. I was just like, oh, they never introduce him. It's like he does not matter. However, he pretty much runs the show. Oh, absolutely. He runs the whole thing. He does her job for her.

He asks the questions. And like you can tell, this guy has to know everything about Paris's life, past, future, present, relationships. And it just makes you wonder like, why is Paris even here? Well, her name is her whole job for her. Her name is on the podcast. So I'm guessing that that's why she's there,

but I was trying to figure out, because they talked about, so Amy Schumer's on, and they talk about how Amy is a big fan of Paris. In fact, let me play this clip. This is after Amy leaves the show after the long interview. And then they're chatting about it. This is Hunter and Paris chatting about it afterwards. Someone that we both admire, you admire, Amy Schumer.

And it ended up being a huge fan of you. And really admire not only the simple life, but everything you're doing with your advocacy. I'm maybe so happy your advocacy. I mean, we're so happy to hear. I've always loved her. And just to hear someone speak like that about me just, it made me feel just so proud and excited and just feel so good all over like, it's like, well,

who is a fan of paraseld? And what does she do? I know that the subway was out. What is your difficulty? It's just like, you could just throw the title around. Like, oh, I'm an activist. I do advocacy. She has no specifics for anything she does. She has the charisma of a staff infection. This woman lacks any type of charisma or wit.

I don't understand. She's not a show host. Like we talked about. She needs to enter there to ask questions. I don't know how you anyone is a Paris Hilton fan. I don't know who somebody is a fucking. Please reach out to me and tell them what the fuck you like about watching. Who's listening to this fucking podcast? Because it's like a Paris Hilton is now 40. If you were watching the simple life, you're probably at the youngest like 35. This is probably 35 to 45 year olds. But what's that pretend that the simple life was some runaway hit on television?

That wasn't a big show. They're acting like that was the biggest fucking show. There's so many fans from it's like, no, it was too spoiled, cut to the farm. Crazy. All the callers and guests like are kind of are given like a index card full of talking points because so many folks are bringing up,

oh, I love the simple life. Like they have to. Like there's a gun pointed at their head. Like, I love the simple life. Don't hurt me, you know? And it's like, this was, this show was kind of a joke. And, and if you listen to a few episodes

of this show, it's, there's so many interesting, like little, it's like a mystery, you know, because I think they're really trying to hammer the point home that they really want people to think, Oh, simple life, it was all an act. I was just acting stupid. This was a comedy. This was an in Amy Schumer's like, it was so funny. I just loved the way like you knew what was funny.

And I'm like, I don't think anybody believes anything that they're saying. All right. So I got a couple examples of that. This is talking about how her being on the simple life was empowering to women. You said that her on simple life was like, you know, empowering from a feminist perspective. You said it was feminist, feminist. I agree now knowing that Paris was doing basically a performance the entire time with Nicole

and captivating the entire world. Did you know that at the time or were you like the public just being like, I can't tell? So, I don't think anyone would describe reality television as empowering and especially not the simple life. But after they explained that Paris Hilton was putting on an act, she's not really that dumb. She was pretending to be dumb for the TV show. You have a clip on here that I want to play.

And this is Amy Schumer, who's a big fan of that show. Talk to me. You guys will hear that that I had a clip. Oh, you have many clips on here. You have many clips. You're a fucking victory laughter coming early and off in here, Chrissy.

I'm not in a baseball game. I brought a clip. So this is Amy talking about how she loves people who are honest. That's what she's attracted to. No, I loved it and I still love that, like unapologetic, you know, just self-actualized. Like people, you know, there's this podcast that I love, a called Pug, it's a Goop backwards with Jacqueline Novak and Cape Rolant, and it really is just like people

not apologizing for who they are and just sharing their genuine thoughts and feelings, and there's just something so refreshing about that, because especially right now where people and feelings and there's just something so refreshing about that because especially right now where people are really checking themselves and as we should be, you know, it's just fun to see people like, you know, fully living in their own skin and being like, this is me and this is who I am and where I come from and I'm going to share this like you know insight into my life, but I'm not going to apologize for it. It's just so appealing to me. Well, that's retarded. They're contradicting themselves. She's so

contradictory. So Amy is talking about in this clip, how much she loves people who are refreshing and honest and you're like, okay, but literally in the in the breath before that, literally what she, I guess it's called, whoop seven, in the little segment right before she said that, Amy is totally kissing parents is ass, like licking her ass off, like kissing her ass so hard, which everybody on this show does, whoever, whether you're a guest or you're calling in.

And then Amy actually says that anyone who's upset about cancel culture has problematic behavior. And then literally the next thing she says is how much she loves people who are honest and unapologetic. So it's like, I think Amy is truly confused. Yes. Either what she feels or what is, quote, right to say. Right.

I think that's the point is that they're all trying to play by these rules that keep changing and they're not sure what to say or how to say it. There's a few times she can't predict herself. We play your track seven that you're just all trying to play by these rules that keep changing and they're not sure what to say or how to say it. There's a few times you can't predict yourself. We play your track seven that you're just alluding to. And so I don't want to say a joke that's going to hurt someone's feelings anymore. And in terms of, you know, making people, anybody who's upset about cancel culture, I think is probably has problematic behavior. I think the way that people are being asked to answer for themselves, if you aren't, I don't, if you're evolving and you're educating yourself, then I think it's okay.

And hopefully you won't be canceled or whatever if you are actually putting in genuine authentic efforts to educate yourself and move with the culture and the way that thank God it's going. I said, I'm measured every single word is too, and she's making zero sense. So careful. She's just like, you don't know more than anything else that she is super woke and she's not here to, yeah. And anytime someone says problematic behavior you have to just

Just like look like you're no longer a comedian like you're too successful. Yeah to be a comedian you're too rich Do something else. I don't know. No, she literally said cancel cultures fine because everyone who gets canceled deserves it Yeah, that's what she just literally fucking said it's like dummy. They're gonna come for you next. You don't realize Yeah. That's what she just literally fucking said. It's like, dummy, they're gonna come for you next. You don't realize that. That's how this works. Right. She's definitely somebody who, if you look back, like, I don't know, 10, 15 years

when she was first starting out. I'm sure she said a lot of funny stuff and funny equals problematic. So, well, she should people could get her for something. Yes. All right. So here's an anecdote that she tells on the Paris Hilton show. And then I'm going to explain to you why I pulled this one out.

And my son, Pugzami, last night, it was just one of those, if you've ever had a baby had the pleasure of having a baby throw money, it's like so much. You can't believe it's coming out of them. And it was like I was just signed. I had to change my underwear was soaking wet like everything and it was like, you know, and I almost threw up that I was it's just vomiting is funny, you know, that's hot. So this is an anecdote that she brings on a show with her. I used to listen to Amy Schumer on the open Anthony show.

She would talk about waiting a cab driver finger her while driving her home. That's the Amy Schumer I want to listen to Amy Schumer on the opening Anthony show. She would talk about winning a cab driver finger her while driving her home That's the Amy Schumer I want to listen to that's an exciting story getting puke that by your toddler. That's so much Yeah, her toddler's not gonna finger her probably ever It's just a little more boring. It's not really figured her once Every birthday we were taking a bath That would be birthday. We were taking a bath. I'll never get. So I love that these two, they're both about the same age, Paris and Amy Schumer.

They get together on the show and Hunter asks if they've ever worked together before. Thank you so much for doing this, by the way. Thanks for thinking on me. I'm excited. You too. Have you guys worked together before? No. No.

Who's communicated? Just loved, just sent love to each other. You guys are both very lovely people, so that would make perfect sense. Yes, we're pen pals on TV main channels, definitely. What would they have done together? So you had Amy Schumer who's a stand up and then she got a TV show

and then she's been in movies, Paris Factor Boyfriend on the internet. What would they have done? I don't understand what kind of work. Yeah, there's a crossover. Where's the crossover in this? This whole episode truly sounds like you have Paris Elton and this Hunter guy. To me, it sounds like, oh, Paris is the coolest girl in school, like coolest girl in high school, plus her sassy gay friend. This whole episode sounds like the two of them are just volunteering to sit with Amy at lunch right like the loser girl in high school Which is which is not true like I went to the same high school as Amy she was she was very cool

She made fun of my sister who was the same grade as her she played volleyball she was cool But in this podcast it makes it sound like Amy's like the loser girl and Paris and Hunter are like the that are just you know like a make a wish by Yeah, yeah, well, what should be cool for a day? Yes And then Amy is very like you know, she's like makes fun of herself and she's like well like no one's trying to get into my circle of friends And everyone's trying to be your friend Paris like I don't know I don't know what I don't know. What do they do?

Both of these women are so unlikeable in every single way when they were talking about being standoffish and not really bringing in new friends into their circle. I'm like, who the fuck wants to be friends with you? You're a vapid cunt. What are you talking about? Uh, at this point, it's like, you won Amy. Like you're, you're a winner. Like you, you're rich, you're successful. You married an married an autistic guy like you've done it you have a son now

You're on a show with a woman who wants to fuck your boyfriend Anyway, I want to point this out because I've been talking about I was on Drew and Mike talking about Paris Hilton because it was kind of teasing this So I went back and watch that sex tape again She was even that into it Like I went back and watched that sex tape again. She was even that into it. Like, she has. I've been with girls like Paris, they're just kind of like, eh, I guess if the cops right there, I'll touch it.

It's like, hey, not for nothing. I came in a sock yesterday, okay? Get over yourself. So she wasn't enthusiastic. She wasn't like spitting all over the desk. She wasn't doing any of the fun things. Oh God. The fact that you could get so famous off of a mediocre sex tape makes me wish

that I had done one. Well, you also have to start off being a billionaire. I think that's part of it. Oh my God. This whole, that's what I was thinking too. This, this whole podcast when she gives business advice, like parents is so out of touch. She, she, she doesn't know the degree to which she has been given a leg up in every facet of her life.

Like she's giving such a huge running start on everything. Like she'll go off like, I have 17 businesses and you'll hear her say that like on other appearances with people. She just doesn't know like she's a hilt. And like she's never truly had to start from scratch on anything, ever, ever. So she doesn't know how to give business advice. When your last name is Microtal, you have a lot of fucking money. Don't you have a clip about her business advice on here? Oh, yes, I do.

I think it's clip number one advice for women in business. This is with a caller. Yeah, so my question for Paris as a business woman is, do you have advice for women that are in male-dominated industry? Like, how to live and how to be successful? Yes. Thank you for asking. I love that you're a sliver like me. My advice is that it's not. I looked it off. Do you know what sliving is? I don't know. What is because at the end of the interview with with what's or not, she says, all right, now we're going to go into our seven sliving

questions. I'm like, what the? It's a combination of slaying it and living your best life. combination of slaying it and living your best life. Slamming. May S live sounds like slaying for your additional area. Yes, yes. I mean, when I show me your sl live. I gotta go clean my sl live, guys. Please do.

Man's world. It's stuck in there. People have been made to believe that for so long. And we are all equal and women can do it better. Sorry, I'm just... It started off being equal and then very quickly became... Girls, girls, girls, girls. I agree. I agree. Women do do it better.

But yeah, I think the important part, like for just to live and live and kill it is just to be yourself, be confident and never let a man try to control you or tell you what to do and just work your hardest and just be confident in your ideas and know them and don't let anyone ever feel make you feel like just because you're a woman that you can't do this because that's not true at all and I feel that that's some way I live my life and I've proven and you can do it too. Thank you. That is the worst business advice I've ever heard in my life. She's literally the opposite of Gary Ve.

Like the complete. Like you want to keep women from succeeding and keep women out of business is listened to Paris Hilton's business advice. She literally acts like she started from the ground up and built herself. It has no clue. And it's like, what? It makes me so angry. She put together a documentary about how she was sent to a boarding school. And they were mad at her at the boarding school.

Did she get molested there? I know. I didn't like, I think I watched that documentary. I heard it was, there was some scandal there. I didn't either, but she's panning herself on the back now for changing the world. She literally said she's changing the fucking world because she could play it about the boarding school. Hey, I got news for you, Paris. boarding schools are supposed to be pleasant. That's why your parents sent you there. Most of Bill discipline characters,

strike fear into the youth. Speaking of abuse, and I believe that Amy Schumer has been abused or else she wouldn't have agreed to herself up so much. I mean, she is just atrocious to look at these days. But listen to this example of abuse that she suffered in relationships. Like, I remember one time we were like at a gas station meeting this guy and I picked I got on the car like kind of picked my wedgie and he was like that's so gross when you do that

like that makes me sick. Um, did you hear Hunter? He's like, oh, you poor thing. You didn't like you picking your wedgie in public. Like, oh my god, this make a wish. It's so sad. I know. It's so terrible for you. I can't believe it. Then she gives another example. One time I was in the shower and he just opened the shower curtain and he just laughed at me. Just like started laughing at me You're a comedian. That's a win. You make fun of your own body But of course like yeah, nobody wants their boyfriend to make fun of their body for them. Well, I'll tell you though, Chrissy, the story changes very quickly as she remembers what

actually happened there because it sounds silly that boy from it opened up the shower curtain and just started laughing at you. How are you gonna get your dick sucked if you're laughing at your girlfriend with her naked hand? Right. So then she goes on to explain what really happened right after that. And I think he peed on me. He peed on me in the shower while he was laughing at me.

So... Ha ha ha! Wait, he peed into the shower while he was standing outside the shower? That's horrific. Yes, that's why he was laughing because he was pissing on her. That's hilarious. We can all agree on that. It wasn't about her body.

He just looks like pe being into the shower. Yes Which is great which we all could agree is hilarious It is hilarious. I know there's dad. Oh, she anyway So they're talking about how sensitive they all are now and talking about crossing the line Paris somehow has become the poster person For comedy that's gone too far about crossing the line, Paris somehow has become the poster person for comedy that's gone too far. Her and Britney Spears are being brought up all over the place now because Sarah Silverman had to go and fucking apologize like a moron.

And so now it's like, you know, this comedy stuff, it's just going too far when you make one of billionaires who are in this spotlight. And are generally, yeah, people are generally not talking about them at all anymore. I would say they're like forcing the issues so that their name can be talked about again. And not for nothing, the jokes that Sarah Silverman made were about Paris having to go to jail because she violated probation after getting a DUI. That's the part that everybody's leaving out of this is that she's a criminal up to anyway. So they're asking Amy about crossing the line with comedy. And again, the answer is so slow and deliberate. And it's just she has to find the exact right words.

I think it's really important that, and kind of amazing to be hearing, to be, you know, to be hearing this story from, from the person's perspective, you know, from Brittany's perspective, from Paris's perspective. Because you're like, there's one way you can think of someone and okay, you can make them a fast punchline. But then to be like, hey, if you're interested

and take the time, you can see how hard these women work. And they're not there by accident. Like they have created their own, you know, potentially, they've created their own careers and I mean, changed the world. I mean, really changed the world. And you fucking getting me. Oh, I don't want to make Paris held a punchline because she's made her own career and changed the world. You can't possibly believe that to be true. That's not your job. She's so conflicting. Like she's conflicting herself here. It's like, you can once you're making jokes about somebody, it's not your job to like worry about their feelings and worry about how they're taking it. And it's like they're doing shit worthy of comedy. They're

doing what they're doing is worthy of jokes, getting a DUI, whatever. Even people make fun of Gandhi. People I'm sure have jokes about Jesus, people who've generally done great things for their whole life. So it's just, she sounds the longer you listen to Schumer, the more you're like, this does not sound like a comedian anymore. She sounds like a spokesperson.

She sounds like, I don't know, a spokesperson, a mouthpiece. It's just like, it just sounds like she's not having funny thoughts anymore. She's just careful. Yes. There wasn't anything funny on this show. All we talked about was how things that have been said that were funny aren't funny. They were, they were just correcting. By the way, just in case you had to that joke 10 years ago, you're an asshole now.

Okay, I didn't realize that. Yeah. And I don't know if you played, if this is the same clip that I pointed out for clip 10, but it's basically Amy is admitting to censoring herself in her comedy. She doesn't do self-deprecating jokes anymore, you know, even though she says she enjoys them, but then she's like, oh, but on the other hand, you know, others might find them harmful. Yeah, this is a longer clip, but this is perfect because she contradicts herself multiple

times within this clip. Yeah, like any jokes, like especially self-deprecating jokes, which I still enjoy making, but even those I started to find were harmful to, could be harmful to people because they're like, if she's making jokes that she's fat, then what am I? You know, like so, and I just, yeah, so I try not to do that anymore with that thought in mind, but sometimes it's just too fun. You know, it's like I'm about to start shooting a TV show and I'm turning 40 this year, you know. And like, so from, you know, so I like basically

a Mitch McConnell like double chin, like if I, so on camera, so on set, I will all make jokes about it, you know, but- That double chin is her best physical attribute. Just because it makes me, I don't know, makes me feel better. It should be like, okay, and can somebody come light my other chin? Yeah, some of those, I'll just, I'll have to keep those with me. All right, I just want to point out the obvious here. And that is, if you don't take offense to things

that are said about you, life becomes much easier. Exactly. That's all it is. Someone made a joke about Paris Hilton wanting to suck dick while she was in prison. Get over it. Who gives a shit? And if you're as big or bigger than Amy Schumer,

guess what? You're fat. You're also fat. Like it's that. I know. That's a shouldn of me. That would be a good rational thought to have. Like Amy thinks she's fat, I'm bigger than her.

Then lose the fucking weight. What? Well, people think if I call myself fat, what if there's a 400 pound woman listening what about that? We got to worry about this 400 pound fatty. And then exactly she's selling mayonnaise. Come on.

And then of course it's international woman's day so they have to point back. I think this so much. We don't deserve we don't deserve it anymore. We're not in a pressed group. Sorry. Like give it back. Like I said this is so much. We don't deserve, we don't deserve it anymore. We're not in a pressed group. Sorry, like give it back. Like I said this on Twitter, we should give International Women's Day like to straight white men,

because it's like we're good. I'm sorry, I had Chrissie's out of the show this week is where bashing these retards, it's providing a little bit of validity. If it was just me and Chris talking about what assholes they were, it might come off as sexist. I know, here's the clip. It's also international women's day Paris. It is. What does that mean to you?

It's a day to celebrate women because women rule the world All right, I have news for you when there's a day for you It means you don't rule the world. It means the opposite of that because there's all this thing as like Illuminati day or lizard person day or Jewish banker day. Yeah, there's no Fauci day. Right. It's the fact that there's a day for you Means just the opposite of ruling the world in fact you should be embarrassed by it as Chrissy is So Amy and I didn't know this she did did some TV show called Expecting Amy. Reality show, while she was pregnant,

and she had a very rough pregnancy. I think they had to make it in like a lab first and then stick it in her. I don't know. She was doing like intravenous, no, IVF, something. Yes, correct. And it didn't go well.

Didn't take or something. Paris is talking about watching the show. So I've been watching, expecting Amy, and I like have fallen even more in love with you. Oh my God, I hope you aren't like, huking watching it. No, I love just how just funny you are, how brave you are, just everything.

It's just, it's a really amazing that you let people in like that. Thank you. All right, so the long fast continues. Whew, just thing to Amy, like, and I have low self esteem, but listening to Amy Schumer talk really make me want to like work on that.

Like, it's so, it's wild. Like, she inspires me to not sound like that. Do you know what I mean? Yes, I do know what you mean. She's like, she's doing fucking great. She should not be this down on herself still. Well, it's an act, right? Isn't that part of her stich now?

Yeah. What was me and everything sucks. She used to be the absolute chance. If she wanted to get rid of her chins, she could. So I Typically go above and beyond for the show. It's been pretty well documented that I will do the research I did not watch expecting Amy if you want to pull your patreon money so be it. I'm not watching that fucking show There's nothing that would get me to watch that and then

This is fun Amy's talking about watching Paris Hilton sex sex tape. So much I was vomiting so much. Which I thought that was a little bit rude. And then Hunter not to be out done. Starts talking about watching Amy stand up. I did make the mistake of trying to watch it while eating breakfast and it was rough. All right, that might be out of context. It might be out of context. So anyway, A.B. has, she had hyper-emesis, which means you vomit all the time when you're pregnant and she talks about that error. Sometimes that communication is hard. And it's like, you know, really,

what I needed during my pregnancy was truly a home attendant. Like, I, and that's why a lot of women who get hyper-emesis, I think 50% of the marriages fail because of how sick you are, how needy you are, and you just aren't available, you know, to, and because of my privilege, I can, you know, I'm an assistant, I had people helping, but really it was just me and him and.

Because of your success, not because of your privilege, what is that? What is she talking about? Also, right. It's like you got successful and you could afford to stop taking risks in comedy. That which made you less funny. That's why you strive for success.

It's not privilege. Anyway, now her uncle, that might be privileged. So now, you, she pointed out, 50% of marriages do not make it through this hyper emphasis. 50% of marriages don't work anyway. That's just the number. Yeah. So that's not that impressive to me.

I think all this throwing up would make her thin. Right. That's a really good point. How is she still so fat? That basically served her up. Bolivia. Nothing. Body was like, no, we're staying this way. Amy takes credit for being so brave. Now, as you know, with what's going on with our wonderful governor in the state, there's a lot of women who, if they get hit on,

they now want to get you canceled. You know, if you try to hit out again, Amy is no exception. You know, the key is to, I think once you realized it happened and you're ready to talk about it, to speak out, to prevent it from happening for other people. Like I think about that now, like any situation, even if I'm in like a doctor's office and he makes me uncomfortable or something, I'll call out the behavior thinking about the next woman who comes in here. I have a responsibility to her, you know. Oh, what a hero.

Okay. If you're seeing like a male gynecologist, you're kind of asking for it. Like I've never had a male regular doctor or a male regular gyno. Like that, the thought of it creeps me out so much. Yeah, there's always these older women that still see male doctors and I'm like, oh, why? But isn't that bizarre? Amy's not an attractive person. So she's pretending that she's getting hit on by doctors and she has to call it out to save the next woman who's going to come in. You're not saving anyone, I promise you that.

It's wild, like, we, I don't know. Maybe I'm weird, but I think most women do kind of wanna get hit on in the right place in the right time. Like, if I would never in comedy was ever getting hit on by anybody charge of anything or that I worked with, like, I was feeling bad about myself. It's funny you say that.

My wife said the same thing to me. She worked in restaurants for many years. She's like, I would get hit on and groped. And if I was the only chick there, not getting that thought to be, I would have been pissed. It's like, okay. Yeah. Makes sense.

When the whole stuff came out about Kevin Spacey, they were like, oh, it turned out that it was like 20 people from this new Vic theater in the UK, or something that he had like either molested or something like that been inappropriate with. I'd be like, damn, with 20 people, you know, you got to feel bad for the people who weren't molested. I'm not even gay, but I want to suck them off for the story.

Geez. Yeah. Okay. Like why not me? I think we should start talking about how how like utterly vain Erises and in my clip to She's talking about what TV shows everybody's watching. I don't know why both Paris and Amy brought this up like Oh, what TV are you watching like I never bring that up with anybody. I'm on a podcast with or that I'm friends with maybe because I'm I don't know

I watch some TV, but it's like I I never think to talk about that, friends. It's just like, just such a lukewarm topic. I don't know, I just think it's boring to talk about what TV you're watching. It is boring, so let's bore up our show. I listen to that talk about this boring topic. I'm gonna do. During this year, I've literally never watched so much TV

in my life, like how about you? I've done never watched so much TV in my life. Like, how about you? I've done a good amount of TV watching. What are you binging right now? What does your go to? I love, like a shitscreek, the simple life. Westworld. Wait, the simple life? Are you just going to put that in the middle and then?

Like, the life. I love that. How do you want? What episode is your favorite of the simple life. Are you just going to put that in the middle and then? A lot of people. I love that. How do you want? What episode is your favorite of a simple life? There's so many. But it's just so much fun to watch with my boyfriend because he's not the reality type. He's like a businessman and intellectual and has never watched reality television in his life.

So to watch the simple life with him is just so entertaining. Just relive it and just see him laughing. And just, I don't know, it's just fun to like watch someone else watching me back then. So it was from 2003 to 2007. Guys, 2021 out. I cannot believe she's still watching her own show.

And admitting it and making her boyfriend watch it too. And I want to point out I didn't catch this the first time I heard that clip, but she called her boyfriend an intellectual. He's dating Paris Hilton. There's no fucking ways in intellectual. At least Amy Schumer is honest about her husband. She's like, yeah, he's on the spectrum and we're like, thank you. You have to be with you. Like this shows, this, okay, this, I mean, it's funny on its own

because she's watching this old-ass show with her boyfriend. You're like, okay, obviously she's being as fuck. But then it goes into clip three. This is not even that many minutes after. It's really funny because basically they talk about what are red flags with a guy when you're dating guys. I have a good rule that Paris actually said earlier.

If the guy wants to watch himself on television or in a movie or listen to his own music with you, you might be dating the wrong guy. Yes. I think she agrees. You don't even think she's making the connection that literally a few minutes ago. She admitted to watching her own old-ass show

with her current boyfriend. Oh, right. So I got a question, Chrissy. In seven years from now, she's going to come out and be like, I was just pretending to be dumb on my podcast. That was just an ad. Oh, my God.

How about really that stupid? Like, you got us again, Paris. and be like, I was just pretending to be dumb on my podcast. That was just an ad. Oh my God. I'm not really that stupid. Like, you got us again, Paris. We fell for it. Man, you're good. You're right. You were just a dumb idiot. Oh my God, you're the bus actress to have her live.

I had no idea. Oh, can you, it's gotta be hard to be like a celebrity because she's not gonna just date like a regular guy that, you know what I mean? That drives a truck. It's the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the percentage of dudes that Paris can actually date and end up with. I'm pretty sure this guy she's with now is like some kind of an arranged marriage because I think she was like, oh, I knew him way back when and we got reintroduced. I look, yeah, because she, they're engaged.

They're engaged. So I had to look this guy up It'd be like who the fuck would marry Paris Hilton So this guy's an entrepreneur. He's made a lot of money in his life and he's obviously a dork He's never been with a hot chick. This is all new to him So he's just so excited to be with a skinny blonde girl that he's like fuck I better marry this one because there ain't any more coming after this. Oh, yeah, he's like, I'm not gonna do any better. And I think that's why they watched the simple life because that's when Paris was attractive.

She is not age 12. I want to point out. She does not look good. It's like, it's like showing somebody. Yeah, these are all my photos from high school when I was the hottest. That was what she was doing. This is when I was peak hottest. That was what she was doing. This is when I was peak. Peek me. If I made my wife listen to the music special that I put out back in the summer. That would never do that. Oh my God. Yeah. It's so vain. It's so gross. This whole, did you find the, the episodes to be strange because some of them would be seven minutes long. Some, some would be ten minutes long.

Yeah. She had a lot of what she called trailers for the podcast. Yeah, I was in the one where she just pops out and she's like, oh, I just had to come on the end talk about Sarah Silverman. Yeah, like she's bothered. She doesn't want to be there. She's, and I don't think she wants to be there. I really don't believe that Paris,

I'll then wanted to do this podcast. I think her, her handlers, her publicist, what she has to do this. There's zero enthusiasm for any of this shit that you could tell she's born out of her mind. And I have to. You so bored. There was like, and it's probably not worth pulling up, but I remember there was like almost four minutes

while Amy was talking where like Paris didn't even give like, uh-huh, like in a hut. Like no words, no like, wow, no like, oh my God. Like she said, nothing for almost four minutes. And you can hear Amy be like, are-huh, like in a hot, like no words, no like, wow, no like, oh my God. Like she said, nothing for almost four minutes. And you can hear Amy be like, are you there? And she falls asleep. It wasn't a natural conversation. Paris is not a conversationalist.

I wouldn't call her that. I've heard her on other shows. She's not good at this. No, I don't know if you want to bring up. It becomes so obvious that this whole podcast is a like a thinly veiled commercial for her. Yes. The line of stuff. Her, her tracksuits. She, I guess she has among her 17 businesses, she has some clothes like a macy's or whatever, but in clip 4, so funny because a lot of us in 2020, yeah, we kind of like let ourselves go.

Maybe we wore sweatpants. Like that's, you know, I think there's a lot of people who would call in and say something like that. And so this woman calls in, like, I just spent the whole year in sweatpants. What do I buy? Like, I need fashion tips. Paris, what do I do? All right. I have spent all of 2020 literally living in sweatpants and I'm so sick of it. Paris, what are going to be the new style trends of 2021? What do I need to start buying? And our low-rise jeans really going to make a comeback? All right Hannah. Well I can relate to you

because I have been in sweats the entire year as well but I love them. I'm in it right now actually my the Laura Giusek tour track suit and I just love them. I'm in it right now, actually, my, the Laura, Juicy, Couture, Track Suit, and I just love it. It's so comfortable, it's so cute. And I think there's a way to do it. Like most sweatpants, like other types, they're not Juicy, or just ugly, and boring, and lame. So if I were you, I would definitely get some Juicy,

because they're fashionable, they're fun, and it's just like hot loungewear. I've never heard a commercial where they just called out all the other products. Oh, you want to buy a fucking Mac? What do you an idiot? Windows. Am I right, people? Anybody listening to this?

If you don't know what a Google juicy track suit right now, it's literally sweatpants and a sweatshirt. Right. The woman is saying, I'm so sick of sweat pants. What do I do Paris? And Paris is like, um, buy my sweat pants. Right. Buy my over price sweat pants. That'll make you feel attractive. That were that were popular in the early odds. And if you walk outside your house wearing them with juicy across your butt, you will date yourself. There was a commercial in here too for Macy's.

Yes. It clipped five. All right, I'll tear this. Spring is only a few weeks away. That means spring cleaning and creating the space you want at home. And it's the perfect time to freshen up your fashion. And there's so much more than just fulfilling your fashion needs. Macy's can take care of your beauty routine too.

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Get your online orders faster and easier. You can pick up orders in store or choose contact-free curbside. Shop my top Macy's picks at macy's.com, backslash Paris. I think she's writing her own ad copy. That's the worst ad copy I've ever heard. It's iconic. Did you know it's iconic? It's iconic.

I love that they try to tie in springtime with buying sweatpants, but also get some perfume, but also buy a gift for somebody's like, fuck it, hey, focus. What do you want people to do here? Everything, huh? All right, look at on that. Think giving up look hot,

like I'm attracted to that, Macy's. Are you as fat as I am stupid? Then I am just the product for you. Speaking of things that made me sick. It's so bad, it's so bad. It's such a big commercial. This is something that made me sick that Amy's tumor was talking about. I know we're talking about Paris right now. I'm switching gears a little bit.

I swam naked in my friend's pool two nights ago. I did not need to know that. Well, she had asked her what's the craziest thing you've done recently? And it took her a long time to come up with this. Right, two days ago. Like, I couldn't pick that. And then she also asked, because it's the seven-sliven questions, she also asked her, yeah, what is on her bucket list? And I don't think Amy understands what a bucket list

is. Okay. Number one on the bucket list is I really do want to do everything I can to move the culture forward for women and also educating myself and helping educate other people about the struggle of her black and marginalized people. That's not something that you can accomplish. I want to do everything that I can do to help minorities. Great, but what do you want to do? What's up with you, what do you want to do? What do you want to go to Argentina?

Like a bucket list thing is like a thing that you can do. You don't know what's done. And then also implies that she hasn't even started. And if I just call on the chat, it's a KFC bucket list. Exactly. The virtue signaling is out of control. For that, they ask Amy, what are three wishes are her first wishes to fly flying. And then the second wish is again, with this like BLM shit.

Like I wish everyone could know about the history of racism. Oh, I have that clip. Hold on. Hold on. I have this is, this is unbelievable. I think it's a number of 11 in this country. Hold on, hold on. This is unbelievable. I think it's a number of lovin' here. I want to be able to fly. I'd like to be able to fly. And I would like for, I would love to be able to sound my fingers and have everybody be educated

about this country's history of racism and the destruction. This country has a history of racism. Chrissy, did you know that? I mean, yeah, I mean, not like China's like country, like like China. No, this country is where the only country whoever has ever had three people. I think people, I do like people don't know about this.

That's all we talk about, all the fucking time, baby. We know we got it Christ It's because we talk about it so much that it that it's a thing Right, it's it's not helping. It things are getting worse Yeah, and then the third wish is oh from my kid to be happy, which is like that's a real wish That's a real one. I believe flying from her That's a real wish and flying. I believe flying from her. Yeah, I think she just, she did drop a lot of names, but I don't know if that's just her world now.

Like I she mentioned Natalie Portman and Chelsea handler and like a couple of other people, but you know, which I was like, Oh, look at her. But then I'm like, you know what? These are, these are her friends. This is her life. Yeah. It is weird how she dropped Natalie Portman's name because it didn't need to be in the story.

She's like, oh, you know, when you're a mom, you just work on your instincts. So Natalie Portman told me that. A lot of people. So that's what it's like. It just didn't make sense to mention her at that point. It didn't really make sense. Like, that's not bringing Star Wars into this, all right?

It's nothing to do in your fucking family. You know the lady who played Black Swan? She told me to hang in there. Ha ha ha ha. How is it? She talked about having a TV show. Who's gonna watch an A.V. Schumer TV show? Who's a fan of A.V. Schumer anymore?

I guess the, yeah. How would you have gotten the level? Yeah, it's just like the people who were popular in the early Aughts Club, yes. Listen to how proud of herself Paris is and this is referring to what she's done to shut down this scary boarding school she was in. I just know the little girl in me would be so proud of the woman that I am today. Even that sniff at the end and I'm gonna go and joke about this.

These people are so smug with themselves. I'll see something Fucking nailed it. Oh, yeah, like I nail the dismount Clip it guys. Yeah We get into how Paris completely has no concept of comedy because Amy's clearly trying to set up a joke and she just steps on the punchline and ruins it. I think that's clip six. Yes. I was trying to think I was like, did I ever write a joke about Paris. I know I had one joke and it wasn't about Paris, but I think it was it was something like, well, first of all, I loved a simple life. I don't know guys were so funny. And I just loved, I felt like it was such a feminist funny show. And then, so I had this dog. I'm like, I said something.

It was like something with Paris Hilton and her dog, the Chihuahua, what's its name? Nicole Ribot. Oh, yeah, no, but that was a joke. Like, you know, that was a joke. Um, uh, what was her name? That was part of the joke, you idiot. She was about to do a slam dunk in slow motion in Paris was like What?

That's a ruin it. She's just pretended to be stupid still now. That's why she ruined that joke So that's that acting dumb can be considered feminist She goes it was such a great show. So, she's great show for feminism. Like, what show were you watching? How does that even make sense? Oh, it's a great, it was a great show for privilege. Does anyone like Nicole Richie or does everyone think that she sucks? I like her just because I haven't heard from her since a simple way. She went away. That's a good point. Thank you to go. That earns points She went away. That's a good point.

Thank you to go. That earns points in my book. It's a good point. A bless. Yeah. Oh, boy. All right. What else do you want to play on here?

Oh, my gosh. OK. So that main thing that you notice when you listen to Paris Hilton's podcast, it's weird. Because when you think of Paris Hilton, you think of like, oh, my God. Hi, guys. And it's very vocal fry. She sounds like she sounds like this slutty, baby grown woman thing. But then there's moments where you're listening

and you're like, who is even talking? But then he realized that that is actually Paris's real voice. And so she'll go between this real voice and this slutty baby voice. I'm glad you're pointing this out because at the beginning of this clip, I couldn't believe it was Paris.

I've never heard her talk like this before. Yes. You're like, who is this? Yeah, this is bizarre, okay. Just, I was relating so much to what Amy was just saying how they would try to make me feel bad about myself where I would feel like I needed them. And I don't know, just trying to make me feel insecure and then just worse things obviously as well,

like being verbally abusive, physically abusive, emotionally just cheating, just trying just to do mean things all the time with a lot of people. So I've been through it. Wow. That's a completely different person. I've been through it sounds like a completely different person. She should do V.O. Work She's fucking the world with the many voices all in one sentence. I

Got one more clip there was something that you pointed out in your note to me I don't remember what it is. We hit play it here. I made a joke because Natalie Portman told me that she's like you'll you know You'll have more instincts than you think. Yeah, that's the, okay, that's the name drop thing. All right, we covered that. Very good, very good. Anything else that you want to say to, to close up the torture I put you through by listening to this is Paris.

It's really just, uh, it's an opportunity for her to name drop to plug Macy's to plug her tracksuits. She's not into it. She could not be less into doing this podcast. I got the same impression. Chrissy marches here and the madness has officially begun. It's time for you to shoot your shot and score big on the nonstop action with my bookie.

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make some money on it. Pulse it, get some upsets. The 12's gonna be the five. It happens every year people. So get on my bookie and make some money. That's always a lot of fun. I wanna talk about a guy, Hussie, Irish gentleman. He had me on his show. You've done his show, right, Chrissy? Yeah, a couple times.

He kind of jokes like this and he sounds drunk all the time. Yeah, and he does this thing where he goes. You won't be able to understand anything that I'm saying to you. So I kind of like disarm G right away. I got right. Yeah. I got an accent and I'm retarded. So it's going to be difficult to. I get it. Yeah. You sound like it's a bunch. I'll twerk an egg or somehow, Carl. Yeah, I don't do impressions. It's not a tumor. Anyway, he was a head shulian. And of course, we had shulian a couple of weeks ago.

And they gave me a shout out. So I want to play that real quick. But I listen to the latest, who are these podcasts? Hello, Paul. Love's Carl and lovely dancer. I heard you kind of trash, stuttering John a bit. I've had a fall like with John recently after that. Get out of here. Really? Yeah, after the after. He seemed that I interviewed Carl from her these podcasts. Hello Carl. And he

instantly assumed that I was for your fucking set me up, you'll fucking work a friend. And it's like, all right, so your prick is what he called me. It's Hewzy Hello is the name of the show. Check out this Shule interview that he did. It's a good episode to listen to. I'm gonna play one more clip from it because people gave me shit for not bashing Stuttering John or doing a John segment when Shule was on our show.

And I wanna thank Shule for clearing up why that is. And, you know, the Carl thing on who are those blackheads, I know every episode Carl does a stuttering John thing. And just to prove to you what a men's I am, it's an Irish word, I told Carl ahead of time, I said, don't do a stuttering John thing because I just don't want to go after him. I don't want to sit here and pick them apart. It's not really what I want to do. And there wasn't a John segment. Carl was kind enough to not do it. And just as a bonus for his fans, for all the listeners who were, I saw on the chat, we're like, what the fuck? I just threw

out a fuck stutter and John at the end. So of course, his, you know, fake Twitter accounts start tweeting, you know, to you trash John and then John responds to his own account. And you know, he's sitting here talking to himself. Everyone knows that John's got his soccer count. So they know what the soccer counts are on Twitter and Reddit and in our discord. Always like, oh, Stuttering John is a huge cock. 45. Okay. Yeah. So I want to thank Shuley for clearing that up. Of course,

Shuley goes on Huesy show and does all the John bashing I ever going to want it. Thanks for nothing there. But I appreciate him clearing that up for us. And of course we know that Chrissy and Sudden Jon have a little bit of a past that I want to talk about. Go way back. But first, did you fill out your bracket yet? Our sponsor's man'scape, who is the best and men's below the waste grooming, wanted to remind you to do so. Their precision engineered tools for your family jewels will help you turn that Kentucky wild cat in your pants into a South Carolina gamecock.

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You know what I mean? Like you've got to make it more hospitable. I think it depends who you're with. Like if you're with a gal who, like if you don't mind a bush, like, and all right, it should kind of be the same, you know, for the two of you.

Like if one person kind of requires and prefers a lot of grooming, like you kind of both should be doing that. Ross, you look like, if you have like a wild and sane bush, but you're like, oh, I need my girl to be like eight years old down there. It's like, well, then you look like it's fucking asshole. And I would go ahead and assume when you're with somebody I've been with before that they prefer you to groom.

Now like Chrissy says there's some weirdos out there. I want a bunch of fucking hair between their teeth, but I will tell you most women are not looking for that. At least try. At least like when you go down there and you're like, oh, he tried. He tried to groom it a little. I appreciate that. Man's Capers created the best bullhair trimmer ever, the Wadmower 3.0. Their trimmer features a cutting edge ceramic blade to reduce grooming accidents.

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I just call it ball cancer. I'm so bad at the word testicular cancer. All right, watch this. Watch this, Chris. I'm going to clean this up and post to Alex Caruso and the ball cancer society to bring awareness to ball cancer, men's health and early ball cancer detection. Get 20% free shipping with the code ATP20 at manscap.com. Join the man's skate movement and start taking care of your balls today.

That's 20% off with free shipping at manskap.com, with the code WATP20, be the best ball handler this year with manskaped. I love March Madness time. The puns are just fucking on points. They're just on. Like did they call it crap, preserve, like crap, or like it's like your balls are a crap, you know,

it's not. I'm a har harvest them. Correct. Yes, I think I put all these crops in my mouth. With that, I want to transition to this. I feel so bad. Somebody sent me this clip and I was trying to figure out who it was. Chrissy, I'm sure you go through this too. You'll look at your email, you'll look at Twitter, you're on the sub Reddit, it's like, I don't know where I got this from, but somebody went back to the archives and we had Eric Nagel on the show. And Eric Nagel and I were talking about Stuttering John. Now, this is going back

to I think December of 2019. So this is before Stuttering John was a guest on the Chrissy mayor podcast and This is interesting right here Chrissy But John and I like John. John has always been very cool to me I don't know I've never seen John stand up No, it has I didn't realize he was doing I know he dabbled in and like he would go and do When he was invited on people's sets and shows to do some standup. I didn't know he said he was doing it for 20 years. I wasn't aware that he was doing standup for 20 years.

Can you believe that the dabbling actually came from Iraq? He was the initial dropper of the debum. Did he get any flak? No. He dropped the debum. If Eric Dangle wants to tell me that I'm dampling in comedy. I'm sorry, what did you say? I mean, he said it was cool, but did you say that I dabbled?

I know. You're right. That's the only thing you'd pick up on. He's like, I like the guy. He's always been nice to me. I guess he dabbled in comedy. You motherfucker. You know, I'm doing your show. I'm here. I'm doing you a favor. I actually have bad news for you, Chrissy. John is learning. I, it's taken three to half years, but God damn it.

The guy is finally learning. There's a guy who puts up a super chat on his show this past week. And the super chat says, Hey, John, did you hear Anthony and Gino are making one of your trans kid last Thursday? And this is his response. DJ, let's see what he wrote. Okay, thanks for the super chat, but I'm not going to say what I don't care what they did. Let's see. Oh my God, you see how easy that was, Chad?

I can't believe it took you this long to figure out not to fly off the handle when people are lying to you about shit. Wow. It sucks. It's gonna be boring. I like the never. Chris, yeah, I'm so distracted.

You see that the combination of you, the picture, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's so funny. It's one of my headshots, it's my hair. I hate it so much. Who's beard is that it's a ginger beard? They must have changed the color of my facial hair to She's a scryst. Yeah, and I think it's my eyes. I can't tell I don't know I would do that person. That's not reproduced I guess with a trancella. Yeah right That's Carlos that what your sister looks like a little bit.

Karl Mayer. Isn't that a real person, Karl Mayer? Uh, yeah, he played bass for the grateful dad in 72, I believe. There's also a German general staff officer and Adolf Hitler is immediate superior in an army intelligence division in the Reichikes were. You know what? We should talk about this. I don't know if people know this about Chrissy. She didn't just look that up.

She knew that top of her head. You were involved in the insurrection on our state capital. I genuinely, literally, where are you dots? People can't tell the difference between being in DC and like, you know, taking a shit on Pelosi's desk. So wait, you're admitting that that you, shit, I got her desk. It was all my idea. I was there covering the protest,

getting interviews. I was there as like kind of like a neutral media person because I'm friends with some folks at the blaze and I go, come in this media section and get interviews or whatever. And so I'm, you know, and then everybody kind of marched over to the Capitol because it was a planned march point. But everyone, because they're just watching mainstream media

and they're like, oh, well, Trump made everybody do it. And it's like, no, it was a planned marching point at a clock at the Capitol. And then we're just like a few hooligans who, you know, brought wire cutters or sledgehammers or whatever and just like broken. But 99.99% of the people there was just like hanging out with their dogs and their kids and having a picnic and playing music and waving flags

and it was like very chill. So you were handing people wire cutters interesting. Very interesting. That's all I needed from you, Chrissy. This was all in the lab on Rooz. This wasn't actually a podcast. I just wanted to get your confession. I'll be sending this into the video. It's all idea.

Yeah. I know it. All right. This is fun. Centering John comes on his show on Tuesday. And he's a little sleepy on Tuesday. It's been a very tough day for me. I got up at 6 a.m. Why? He's a little sleepy on Tuesday. It's been a very tough day for me. I got up at 6 a.m.

Why? Because I had to get my colonoscopy. So I had to take an Uber to the hospital and then dealt with the whole thing. I hadn't eaten, but so now I'm here. They found two polyps and they removed them. So now I don't have to get another colonoscopy for five years. So that's good.

But they found one on my hemorrhoid that I have to get it with different doctor. I can't believe this guy is sickle. It really is a baby, isn't it? Yeah. that I have to get it with different doctors. I can't believe this guy is sickle. It really is amazing, isn't it? Yeah, he's such a prize. He's the whole package. I'm all about his handwriting. I've never heard of such a thing.

You're not turned out by that, Chrissy? No, yeah. It's just like, we don't need to hear about you. It's just like, when people are like, oh, women comics need to stop talking about their vagina. It's like, yeah, stuttering't need to hear about your, it's just like, when people are like, oh, women comics need to stop talking about their vagina. It's like, yeah, stuttering Johns need to stop talking about all their like, icky body problems. I'll stop talking about vagina.

You can make it hilarious. Sure, I'm not talking about his hemorrhoids. Yeah. What a treat he is. What a treat. Are you get those from like squeezing, like pushing poop out? Like don't you get that from pushing too hard? Like your butthole just gives up.

Yeah, when you're raging alcoholic and you're constantly shitting liquid, yes. That's, uh. Or maybe I'm thinking of when, like the porn stars get from anal sex, like when they sort of turn their buttholes inside out. Maybe I'm confusing it. No, no, no, no, no.

You're like, yeah, that's a pro laugh. You were right the first time. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Like when you turn your bithole into an infinity scarf. Never heard of the scarf that way before I like it. This is, John gets a super chat in the middle of this thing. And you know, John is the super woke left guy and all the people on his channel are super woke left people and There's a person who's concerned that there's no longer going to be a mask mandate in Texas a Lenny pray for us in Texas tomorrow

The rat lickers take off their masks. I will Lenny. Thank you And the reason why I played that clip is because I want to point out when John was in Florida on his big comedy tour Every picture I saw of him posted was him hugging a fan with no mask on. John pretends to be this guy who's all concerned about COVID and coronavirus. I mean, Heather W and I have talked about this before. He doesn't give a flag. Fuck, he's lying. He's, he's a liar. He's pretending to care because that's why people sign up for his Patreon and watch his stupid show on YouTube It's most of the left is just them pretending to care. Yes So I don't want to get into this Meghan Markle thing, but god damn it I have to because Judd such a fucking moron. Do you are you following this at all?

Chrissy and watch the whole thing but I saw enough clips to know what it was about Yes, okay Watch the whole thing, but I saw enough clips to know what it was about. Yes. Okay. I know trying to create fluff and this whole Oprah interview so that people don't focus on Prince Andrew eating fucking cereal out of some girls but hole on Epstein Island. Basically, they're trying to distract away from the Prince Andrew thing. It's working because I only was talking about is this fucking Meghan Markle interview with Oprah. So Pierce Morgan now is the only person in the world who thinks maybe the actress Meghan Markle is acting and that this is all fucking poor shit. And John has to respond to that.

Pierce goes off on Meghan Markle. Doesn't believe that she was suicidal. And, you know, it's just, it wreaks of racism to me, Pierce Morgan. So, when you don't believe someone who's half black, that's now racism, I can't keep up with what's racism anymore. It seems like everything is racism. Racism is whatever you want it to be, Carl.

Oh, good. Okay, well that makes it easy, then. So John goes on and Bash's Pierce Morgan non-stop and has the balls to say this. But instead of Pierce having some empathy, compassion, he decides to trash. Yeah, he should have empathy. And then John retro that says this, you know what I did? I tweeted out this morning, fire Pierce Morgan,

just like I tweeted out fired, um, uh, Doug Peterson from the Eagles. I said he will be fired. Everyone goes, they're not going gonna fire him because he threw it again against you know against Against the wash to football team. They're not gonna fire him You know, he won them a subal they fired him I was right and I said fire pierce Morgan They fired him. I was right again Because you can't have that kind of freaking Derrick duty in reporting. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha So ridiculous. If I tweeted out and say Beetlejuice three times in the mirror, it turned around five times,

it happens. It's so ridiculous to me that John is so gleeful of people losing their jobs. It's such a weird way to live your life. So gross. That you're rooting for people to be fired and lose their jobs because of an opinion you didn't like from Pierce Morgan, the guy who is always has crazy opinions. It's what he's known for. It's why he's famous.

It's for having ridiculous opinions. And John's like, well, you got to fire the guy because now I have that opinion, it's different than my opinion. And therefore, he's fired. So just bring people who are unhappy and uncreative and are washed up and over the hill and all the other words.

It's like, they want to destroy everybody around them. They want everyone, they want no one to have success because they want them to be like how he is. And it's so obvious. Yeah. It's not even like they're trying to cover it up. This is him again.

After he does these two long interviews, he gets back to talking about Pierce Morgan for some reason. But that Pierce Morgan go on there and just trash. Megan Markle. He is a despicable human being. If you can even call him that. I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I God. I'm like, how dare you? How dare you, Pierce Morgan? And then I called for his firing. I said, I said, get rid of this guy. Who the hell is he to question Megan Markle about her suicidal tendencies? She was feeling suicidal. All right, what about the best? Just what best?

I can see what's getting doing. Just what best. Keep my girls with me. Cause we're not just here. Just be on me. Just lay me in the foot down the drain. All right, I'll say that. You're the best.

You're the one that's right. You're the best. You're the best. You got to be great. You're the best. Chrissy, you're younger than me. Did you get that joke? With the band?

No. They're called the suicidal tendencies. Oh. That's a really bad. I was just imagining, settering John, printing out a tweet, putting it in an envelope, and then mailing it to Pierce. I sent it straight to him. I love that he's like, sometimes he responds to my tweets.

This guy's tweeting at Pierce, telling you to go fuck himself. It's like, yeah, every now and again, so I was going to be like sometimes he responds to my tweets. This guy's tweeting at Pierce tell you to go fuck himself. It's like, yeah, every now and again, so I was gonna be like, don't fuck you. Like, since I'm that impressive. Ow. What a piece of shit, John is. This guy had to get fired because he didn't believe everything that Oprah, who's an actor, was talking about with Megan Markle,

who's an actor about the royal family who are all pieces of shit. Don't give me. I'm not taking sides on this one. I just don't understand why John has this really strong opinion about Pierce Morgan getting fired. It doesn't make any sense to me. He wants to join the club.

He's like, Oh, wait, look, let's see what the billionaires are saying. I want to be like that. I want to be successful. I'm in the conversation. I'm trying to create anything of value that people want to buy or be fans ever be a part of. He's like, no, I'll just parrot Oprah. And that'll be my way to success. Yep. It's working, John. You're killing it. Oh, and it man. You're killing it. He's very excited about his Patreon members. Friday's beer on the balcony. I don't know yet. I'm looking for another great comic.

If you missed last one, become a Patreon member. We're picking up a lot of Patreon members. I want to thank all of you. So I happen to know exactly how many Patreon members he has. It's 62. The answer is 62. Okay. That's more than me. Very good. Well, he's been on Patreon for a year. He's got 62. Let me see. Can I see how much money he's making on his two? Let's see here. Oh, now he didn't, the guy who sent this to me didn't send me to my...

Send me the amount of money he's making. Yeah, I'd be very curious to know. All right, because this is all he's doing. Well, this is the thing is that Chrissy Mayer was never on the Howard Stern show. Chrissy Mayer has had to make a name for herself and she's on train on media and she's doing her thing. She's on all the big standup shows. Stuttering John is stuttering John.

He had an audience and he has 62 people. It's almost like I'm 12 times more successful than him. I don't know. Yeah. I'm just doing that in my head, but it's a little odd. All right. So speaking of Howard Stern, the last clip I want to play here is John, of course, talking about how the royal family is the firm. And that's what I used to call the Howard Stern show. And then everyone else picked up on that because I started it.

I used to refer to being at the Howard Stern show, the firm. In fact, Bob, a boo, we picked up on it. And he would call it the firm as In fact, Bob a boo, we picked up on it and he would call it the firm as well. It's like you just can't get out. There's no way to get out. And if you get out, Howard's gonna beat the hell out of you on the air, which he did to me and which he has done to a lot of people.

I want to point out that, because someone sent me this clip too, which I should go through at some point, when Howard Bash stuttering John on air after John left, it was because John went on the Adam Crowell show and mother fuck Howard Stern. So John acting like, yeah, you know, and then Howard just trashes you when you leave the show. That's, it's the exact opposite.

Howard Stern will never mention your name. He hasn't brought up the word Brent Hattley. He hasn't talked about Shuley since Shuley left. He just pretends you never existed. It's not like they're talking about Arty Lang every day. They never talk about Arty Lang. The guy was the biggest part of the show for a decade and they pretended never happened.

So this idea that John's like, yeah, the Howard Bash is you. It's like, no, John, you instigated it. How do you, anyway, I don't know why I keep getting upset about this. I should be over it by now. It's not self-aware He lacks he lacks some self-awareness. Chrissy. I know I'm keeping you a long time

I just have a very important thing to talk to you about Oh, the man. Put the man. Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. I hope he radio. It's so fucking bad. It's so bad. He started off the show. This is the start of his podcast. Now, I know he's just going on Facebook and YouTube and he's just chatting with people on a livestream.

But there was no music, he didn't do anything in post production. The show literally starts exactly like this. Uh, oh, can you show yourself on stream again? I'm missing those tits, Devon Earing. You woke up to throw some hate at me, Devon. And what is that supposed to do? Let's break that down. What is that supposed to do? You do know that I openly admitted that I had bitched

tips for a while, right? So it's nothing that I was trying to hide. I told the whole story on the live stream and on the OP radio podcast. So am I supposed to get mad that you through that comment at me? Like what is supposed to happen now? Am I supposed to get mad that you uh that you threw that comment at me? Like what is supposed to happen now? Am I supposed to yell and scream? No, just you admitting you had bitch chances enough for me to play it on the show. That's all we need. Thanks, David. That's all we need. Take take a lap and hit the showers, David. Fucking nailed it. You got so riled up that you talked about that for three minutes straight. Yeah, I was eating all the lucky charms. What the fuck, what's the problem?

Oh, Opie. So sensitive. If you mention it right, you mention your boobs, so other people are going to mention it. Did you know how successful the Opie and Anthony show was on Sirius XM? I dreamy. I didn't even know it was this successful, Cresce. But we brought in stupid money for serious XM, like ridiculous money, hundreds of millions of dollars. I would say in our run at serious XM, we possibly brought in over a billion dollars. I would really have to sit down and do the math and they paid as well, but we

could have probably should have been paid five times what we're being paid. A billion dollars is the amount of money they brought in. And I was thinking they must have had a lot of advertisers in order to pull that off. Because that seemed like a lot of money to me for the Open Anthony show. But then OP goes on to explain how he got to that figure. No, we brought in like probably over a billion dollars from subscribers. Wrong. All right, let me explain why I do not believe that at all. I went ahead and did a little bit of research and looked up how many people subscribed to Sirius XM over the years. In Q3 of 2014, that's when Anthony Cumia was fired and it was no longer the

OPM Anthony show. There were 26.7 million subscribers to serious XM. Let's fast forward to the end of 2017. 32.74 million subscribers. Let's look at the end of 2019. 34.9 million subscribers. So this guy is claiming that they brought in so many subscribers, they made the company over a billion dollars. And yet they haven't even lost listeners in a single quarter. He said, the original show went off the air or the OP radio went off the air.

And listen, I actually did cancel my subscription when Anthony got fired. I was one of those people, but apparently most people did not. It wasn't that my god just wasn't disturbed. That's fine. Loyalty should be rewarded Carl. Well, I mean, I wasn't trying to be loyal to him. I was fucking pissed. So I asked E-Rock about this claim. And E-Rock says, my educated, millions, yes, billions, no. Of course, millions, yes, because they paid you millions. So that makes a lot of sense.

But you might have been making a million dollars. I can't. Crazy. I can't imagine that. They're not paying you that much of compound. Come on. Oh, I can't believe it. Girl needs a raise.

You had anal ring toss on your show the other day. I know. And I go and I buy all those props myself. I saw that I used them for holidays. I saw the video of that. There's a spicy shit going on. I'm spicy. Peyton's in Claire. Yes. We and you know, it's crazy because I'm going to party city and I'm looking each aisle like where is the anal ring toss? I thought you guys had fun in games here. Yeah, that you guys sold party games. There's no one on ring toss.

We're just out of it. There's not even regular ring toss. So I had to buy two of these like luck of the Irish like St. Paddy's day. I think you're supposed to stick them in your lawn. And I was like, well, these are gonna be stuck somewhere else. And I just bought like beads, you know, like New Orleans beads, you know what I mean? Like in orange and green.

And I was like, all right, they'll just throw these beads at the stick and it'll be in her butthole. And we'll sort of do it weekend. Yeah. So if you're not subscribed to Cowbound Media, this is what you're missing out on. I like that the, who was the porn star? Patents and. She was a champ. She was a champ. She was a champ. She was a champ.

She was a champ. She was a champ. She was a champ. She was a champ. She was a champ. She was a champ. She was a champ. She was a champ.

She was a champ. She was a champ. She was a champ. She was a champ. She was a champ. She was a champ. She was a champ. She was a champ.

She was a champ. She was a champ. She was a champ. She was a champ. She was a champ. She was a champ. She was a champ. She was a champ. I don't, I can't guarantee it. And she's like telling me every time she messages me, every time she doesn't, like, wow, I'm really like. Imagine having a job like that. I would love to call up an employer and say, I can't come in today, I haven't shit yet. It's not gonna happen.

And it was like, Peyton, you don't even have to stick it in your butthole. Like you can just hold it between your cheeks. She's like, no, I'm doing. I'm taking. She's a pro. She's a pro. She's not doing that. All right. So getting back to Opie, although that was that was very entertaining. I believe she almost had an accident in the studio if I'm not mistaken. She, yes, soon she took it out. She ran to the ladies room with no pants on, like cupping her butthole. And I, you know, I've been up to compound media.

The bathroom you have to run around a few hallways. It really got to it. It's not self-contained. I was like, Gary, get the swimmer mop. So, Opie is just taking questions from people and still freaking out when they ask him about Opie and Anthony. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. The Opie and Anthony questions.

The Opie and Anthony show isn't, uh, is not important to me anymore. I'm sorry. Yeah, but see what I think that we know about you. It's like, remember, letter Nimoi, when he didn't want to be referred to as Spock, he went through a phase, and say, I'm more of an actor, I'm more than that.

That Opie's going through his better Neemway phase right now. I think he'll come out of this and eventually he'll be on like, Opie and Anthony Cruises with Club So to Kenny and Lady Dye. They'll be hanging out with me and Greets because this is insane,

what do you want people to ask you about? Would be like if Clayy can got upset every time somebody mentioned American Idol. Oh, this again, American Idol. I was at a TV show. Yes, the reason why anyone knows you. I know. What does OP want us to talk about? You can't talk about tits. I know. He's he's actually blocking people now. You did not bring in hundreds of millions of advertising dollars.

Email one. I'm talking to email I gotta get rid of this guy. I'm trying not to block people, but you're just spamming with garbage man. I got it hold on He's blocking people because they're disputing whether or not he made hundreds of millions of dollars for serious Why we just be like I think we did. I don't know what I'm cares. It's a difference. Gillians. Yeah, it was closer to a Gillian.

And then he calls out Jim, which I thought was interesting, this prediction. The only reason they kept Jim was to just try to keep his may subscribers from the ONA days going as possible. And their time is coming to an end. I guarantee you, because I know how that company works. So now, he's pretty sure that Jim and Sam will be off the air, because he knows how that company works.

Howard Stern will be broadcasting there for 20 years, but he knows how that company works. Maybe you were just easily dismissible. Oh, I'm just gonna throw it out there as a possibility. So OPCs this cardinal hanging out and he wants to show you the cardinal but then it flies away before he can turn his iPad or whatever he's filming with around and he's determined that this cardinal is car always. There was a red cardinal that was on

my railing. I was gonna move my iPad and just as I was going to pick it up it flew away but it's right over there but I don't think he's going to fly away. It's going to be hard to see. He's in the distance now. We have a fucking red carnal that just hangs out at our house. And Jim Brewer swears, Newcombe. I got to get Jim Brewer on the live stream. Jim Brewer swears that when his father died, his father was visiting him as a red cardinal. He believes in that shit, and then I looked it up, and then some people believe the red cardinals is like a visitor from the other side. And it doesn't help that the stupid red cardinal

looks like Carl W.S. Look it up. It looks like Carl W.S. It's red cardinal looks like Carl Reweas looking up. It looks like Carl Reweas. It's a gardener. I'll tell you my Carl Reweas story. Oh, no, please do. Oh, God. All right. So this was a long time ago.

I probably was, yeah, this was like after I got the wet spot show, it was, forget it was obviously before he died. It was during the summer. And I remember I had like message him, like, hey, we'd love to do the OP show. And he was like, sure, sure, great, great. Come on down, come on down to the city, like meet at my Cuban restaurant or whatever.

And I was like, okay, cool. So I meet him there. I think like early, it had been like one o'clock or something. He, like slowly, but I was like there for an hour and then I was there and he was like, oh, let's go for a walk. So he takes me to his place to get like, marangs, which were very good, by the way. Like, it's just like on Jane Street or something.

And so I'm just, and I had got dressed up. I was like, yeah, I'm trying to like, you know, I was like, trying to do this show and like, you know, I was there on time and everything. And like, you know, like half hour, like a lot of time is passing by, like a couple hours. And I was like, is he coming? What's going on? Like is he running late? I was like, what the fuck is going on?

I was like, I know I'm small potatoes compared to OP and like, yeah, people can be late, but I'm like, it just didn't feel like, like how much longer is he gonna be? And then he was like, oh, whoops, like he's not gonna make and he stuck on a boat on Long Island or something. And I just got, I just kept getting the feeling. I'm like, I feel like he never reached out to OP at all.

Like to me, it just seemed like a sneaky date. Just felt like, I felt so dumb. I was like, I feel like I got tricked into a semi date. And he had me waiting in the basement of his Cuban restaurant. I was like, this doesn't seem professional, but I don't know how you guys work. And then he died. So it's like, what am I going to shit on the dead? Now he's dead.

Anyway, what are the assholes? Anyway, I don't want to speak ill of the dead. He paid for the morangs. I just feel like he wasted a lot of my time. He should have said, like, oh, he's never coming. But then how would he get laid if he said that? So after Opie explains that this Red Cardinal is Carl Orweez who wants to still hang out with Opie for several years, he said, He's gonna hang out with them, he was alive.

Now he wants to hang out with them. He talks about how Jim Brewer is convinced that his father has come back as a red cardinal. And he's like, you know, Brewer knows about this too, look it up. And I didn't look at it, I didn't know about this, but apparently a lot of people, it's like a old wives' tale or something,

that Cardinals are deceased relatives and some shit. And so he goes, yeah, Jim Brewer's convinced, you know, his dad is this cardinal that hangs out with him and someone calls out Brewer. So it's so weird that there's one red cardinal has just been hanging out all winter like that. Uh, David, see, I love Brewer, but that is nonsense. No, the cardinal was not his father's soul.

How do you know, David C? Cause he's not a fucking retarded, that's how he knows that. I love that that's Opie's response. I would've just been like, yeah, I don't know. He believes that's cute he knows that I love that that's Opie's response I would just be like yeah I don't know I that's that he believes that's cute Opie's convinced Do you know why Cardinals are red Chrissy? Oh? No, it's the male Yeah, oh so they can stand out because I know the female cardinals are like more brown today like they're not so out there

Right, but he's making it sound like the red cardinals are the reincarnated people. It's like, well, no, the red, there's just. Cause the male ones. They're just 50% of them are red. It's not like a, oh boy. All right, Chrissy, I wanna thank you so much

for coming on the show. I've had a wonderful time speaking with you today about, of course, Paris Hilton and Amy Schumer, but online.ag. It's huesy hello. Manskey keeps duttering, John. Oh, we've done it. We've done it. Are you proud of me?

I am so proud of you, Chris. We've done it all today, which means it's time for everybody's favorite part of the show. The teaser. The teaser. The teaser. The teaser. the show. The teaser. The teaser. The teaser. This is the part of the show.

We tease which podcast we'll be reviewing on next week's W-A-T-P to get people excited about it. Endless possibilities. What are we going to tell you next week? Who are we going to talk to about it? Who knows? I do. We're gonna talk about the news of the day as it is through my wife Jessica's Facebook page, which anytime I show Jessica a meme or show her a post, she says, Matt, I posted that like a month ago.

And we're gonna try to keep it short. We're gonna to try to keep it short 15 minutes. A certain sweet. This is a show called Woke Town. And the reason why we're doing this, I discovered this because this guy Matt Long and his wife host it. And Matt Long, I discovered from the bonus episode, they were thick this week, the Flat Earth podcast. And Woketown is a show that talks about all of the news through the flat earth prism. When you understand that every single thing that people think they know is a lie and a course of conspiracy, you get some really fun interpretations of the news. So I am looking forward to that. Chrissy.

Well, yeah, I've interviewed a flat earther on my podcast. It was David Weiss. It was really interesting. He's the other guy. He's the other guy from the flat earth podcast. Which is why we did the show because he was on the DICK show. And that guy is next level retarded. He's got a flat earth app too.

I know. He's always selling it too. It's like this. It's like a time zone thing or I Yeah, it has something to do with astrology and I was like, you know what? Why not? It's it's good to keep an open mind and think about what if I'm not ready to go there. I'm that one. I am an open mind on a lot of things. I mean, fuck, I referenced lizard people earlier today, but the flatter thing is where I kinda like, yeah.

But I don't have to work, even if that's true, like how does it really change my life? Like how does it really change the way I do anything? Like not really, as far as conspiracy theories goes, like. Well, I'll tell you how it does because I just listened to this podcast, so I'm filled with knowledge on this.

When you realize that the earth is flat and that satanism is running our world, you'll know that God exists and you have a purpose in life and you are not just some random accident spinning on a ball through space, but you were created for a reason by the creator and there's more to life, there's an afterlife and you need to live your best life

and go to heaven. These people are all just religious nuts. There's one. I believe a lot of that without also having to believe that the earth is flat. Like I do feel like everyone has a purpose and if you've made it to be born, you're pretty special. I agree.

That could have been easily swallowed. That's, this is true. Everyone has a purpose and has a shave their balls with man scaped the lawnmower three played out. Chrissy working people find you. Oh, yeah. Check out the Chrissy mayor podcast on iTunes, YouTube, Spotify, SoundClouds. I've got four new episodes coming out every week to stay through Friday.

And then check out the wet spot on compound media Mondays at 730 p.m. And check out the domestic terrorist stand up tour. All my dates are on Chrissy Bayer.com of be going to Delaware, Florida, Jersey, Nashville, Texas. So making the rounds. Please support. Yeah. For me in a sitting near you. Yeah. Get out there, supporter. Let her know that W ATP sent you a Chrissy, very funny comedian. And we appreciate your time coming on the show. Also, I've noticed that you're sitting in for the second half of Anthony Cumius show on Mondays a lot lately. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's, you know, I'm just, I'm just there hanging out early before my show and just sort

of, you know, trying to keep Anthony from getting sad. I don't know. No, he's fine. He'll be fine. I just they planned out laughed. So of course, Chrissy sees this as the opportunity to organize the day. And guys, check me out. I'm going to be on Timcast IRL on March 22. Oh, so tune into that. Please join us again next week. It might be the episode we found out once if we're all who are these podcasts? Sleep well every ponies. Great show. Good job everybody. Good job everyone. This dude is fucking' corn, bullshit! What you're up? I'm gonna have to wait.

You know, who are these? Podcasts. I don't know. I don't get it. It makes no sense. Suburring of news with corresponding bad broad. Movie Mad Gry writes, this week's episode brought to you by Low Hanging Fruit. Accomplished AMP asks, who is this loser tab with Carl who doesn't know anyone Carl is talking about? Doesn't know O&A Universe? Doesn't know Stuttering John? PS? He might be better off not knowing. Uh, look here, man, posts. Holy fuck, Carl. Only you and Dick Masterson still give a

shut about Maddox. Jesus Christ. Gangrennously shares, Carl's smoochy smooch noises made my skin crawl. Joe 2500, wow. This fuckface streamer should be put to the sword. I would rather listen to triggered fatties than a fake voiced banana plus boy. Carl, kill yourself. Some kind of cave demon rights. Dipping into massively cringed, twitch streamers

could be a fun segment from time to time. Tricky, how a lot of Maddox's pathetic delivery is visual though. You can't see the madness in his eyes this way, you know? Earl of Turd Shire had this to say. Reddit news girls voice sounds hot. I bet she has a cock and ball torture fetish. Chico Ruizing says, I had to pull over my rig before I sharded from laughing over Carl's portrayal of stuttering

John in street light memoirs. Gooch dog opines, all that talk of a live show. No matter where it is, no matter when it is, you just know that the isotopes will miraculously be there as well. Waste of time, either get a vocalist or get off the pot. GammernWV points out Casey in a chicken mask and underwear is not a bonus episode, Carl. But Andy rules counters with.

I don't know. When I saw those pictures, I had a bonus episode if you know what I mean. Vic! Hello, Carl. How are you? I'm great. How are you doing? Fantastic. I guess it's my weekend with the annoying kid, huh? So our friend Casey is out canoeing. She sent us a photo of her in her grandma glasses on the river. And so poor Vick who's partying all weekend is probably

drunk right now is forced to pitch it for her. Absolutely, but I'm always ready to pitch for Casey, don't you worry. I appreciate that, Vick, do we get any reviews recently that you want to read for us? Yeah, quite a few actually. The first one is you guys are fucking embarrassing. This show is so fucking dumb. Not sure how you can review something when you simply do not understand.

Uh, I think that's probably what I'm sorry for you. It didn't seem very positive. Absolutely. See, that would be a 45-star review. Rather than putting any references, just like seriously bash us. Would be funny. Um, yeah. Yeah, what the fuck is the point, Carl?

People fucking hate you. What do you want? What do you want? What are you gonna do? I don't know, but this next one is it's ironic Carl the host makes a podcast where he trashes podcasts that most people have never heard of But every single thing he says about their podcasts. He's doing these exact same thing the only The one thing I wish he would do is stop take a breath then talk. When he gets excited he screams out an excitement. That's what I want to hear in my ears. This show stinks on ice. If you know the ancient opian Anthony show, this is joctober but a poor imitation. Avoid this mess. It's joctober minus all the funny people who used to be part of Jacktober. I mean, what else can I say?

That was a lengthy one. I'm feeling like maybe it wasn't a positive review. That's correct. It was a one-star. God damn it. Yeah, the birthday ones were always the worst. They kind of mass company one stars you get now It's harder to find out what the total number is. I Think you just have a ship producer. It's possible. We got close to a thousand one star reviews though at this point I would think. Yeah we keep tailies on that. I know they're piling up. Oh my god. Um Carl is king. Is the next one. Love the show Carl. I always enjoy you on the Drew and Mike podcast. As that is how AI was introduced to WATP. But love to hear you discuss Bloodbath podcast.

My wife has it on at night, and I believe it has two or three chicks that might be comedians. Bloodbath podcast is about that about having your period? Yeah, but like they just collect it in a bathtub and then bath in it. You know people actually do that Carl like there's fucking bitches who like claim their witches and they like collect their tampon blood in like a Dixie Cup and like put it on their face. And you know about this because... I don't fucking know.'d I'm just around Carl you and some friends of Panera bread maybe yeah yeah Chris is a lot of witches in the Navy too surprisingly oh I think Chrissy just

laughed I was gonna ask her to comment on that you know it's about saving your tail bond blood all right what else Uh, you have one more fake Dr. Pepper. Who's next, Mr. Pib? Have Kroger back on so that he might tell us tales of his family's grocery riches. Does he live in a grocery bag mansion or is it a normal house with a giant Kroger sign on the side to let everyone know that he's grocery rich? So someone really happened out that Kroger sounds like Kroger's joke God yeah, I think so but I guess it's a five-star review Yeah, that was it was really unfortunate

All right, let's let's play some voice mails real quick and then we'll learn all about Vicks weekend plans Stop being fucking corny. And you know what? Stop crippled Jesus. Nobody likes it. It's a fucking tired concept. Kill your child. This voicemail came in from Las Vegas. Oh, gross. Uh, someone just posted what you're talking about in the discreet. I can tell you, man. Uh, I hope that that's fake. Um, that voicemail we just heard. If you think that that guy was acting drunk, that came in at 3 30 AM Vegas time from Vegas. There were four calls in a row. I'm not going to play all of them for you, but I will play this one because he will not remember that he made

this one. I guarantee you. He is smashed. Why should I be fucking subjugated? Just fucking unfunny. Dic master thing. Like fucking fucking TV fucking why should I be a subject? why should I be subjug's just like unfunny. I can speedy from the middle. No reason sir. I did like the little thing where I fucking posted a gem of my feminist hearing class. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, fuck off your bad days of broadcast would be the answer to that question I'm sure crippled is the reason you if I hung out with him in person but like why are we keeping up this stupid bit at sucks

bit sucks fuck off. I don't love I'm gonna have some hoodies What are we talking about? What are we talking about? Sorry, I thought that I thought that was pretty fun and I like playing that because maybe that person will hear himself and get help You're a good man. Yeah, that's what I do it. Carly, you're such a cuck. Every single fucking time you're like, oh, like fucking keep it under 45 and then you play like completely blasted fucking people. It's great. I like this is becoming a thing now because it's a bit toxic to me today that I'm a cocktail.

This is twice as she's called me a cuck today. Hmm. I don't like this, this is narrative that you have going. Yeah, I'm gonna fuck your wife, Carl. Pfft. Don't threaten me with a good time. All right, this is Tucker Dixon calling in about Casey. Hey Carl, Tucker Dixon here.

Just saw your latest set from Casey there. I'm getting closer to believing that they're G size, but I'm not quite there Casey. Really need, I don't know, one, maybe 200 more pictures of you, scatually, quite a News, whatever. I mean, this is for science, Casey. Please, we need to figure this out whether you're lying about the size of your breath to see if we can trust women. Anyways, Casey, just post those two, three, 400 pictures. You can directly send them to me or Carl. He'll call me back and describe them in great details to me because Carl always calls me back.

Anyway, Tucker out. Tucker is bringing up a lot of good points there. A lot of good points. He's a man of science. Hey, so I was just listening to, I don't know what episode number, but the music one, it was going to rate. And then I started getting high, and I found out that Jason ate that chicken and it made him k. Tell me back.

I think that the music episode is actually going to be considered brilliant at some point. People are going to look back and go, God, we all hated it. And yet it was the most amazing thing. It's going to be like the simple life. We look back. You'll be listening to it with your friends and come over. You guys want to hear something? Get what I hear with the podcast, like that.

Oh my God. I'm just glad you're old enough to be seen out Carl. Yeah, me too. Me too because if I actually understood what people were saying to me, I'd be very depressed. Andy, Trucker Andy called into the show and wanted to give us some information here. Andy here, did your first video of you girl became a cow in the current one is becoming a chicken. What's an extra buger going to be? Is she a pig? It's perhaps saying

ale packet. Just wondering what discussed the aloeverting debate. Call me back. Doors. All right. This is a person who thinks I bad taste of music, which is very similar to VIX opinion of me Sorry, I just thought my dog licking his red rocket

I'm gonna say VIX is the best Kaley shit VIX has the good intelligence to realize that the Beatles and Wayne both suck shit And I would I would hop up a little considering an old fucking boomer and still like the fucking beetles and so desperate to be kept that she says you like wean is almost as desperate as what was it in Casey or fucking Kaylee wherever fucking interchangeable names he has so desperate for attention but whatever fuck fuck case you're

a fucker name that I'm still the opinion that Kai should not only replace you on the creep off you know I'll throw that throw that out there but also I think you should resign and have a Kai take over your spot on the who are these podcasts as well yeah Kai's Kai's great, you suck. Whatever, Beatles, Bill's suck, my. Kai, I've taken over for me on both podcasts. That'd be a lot less work for me. I'd be okay with that.

Plus I like Kai, I'll throw it out there, Kai. If you want to work for free, you can take my spot, please. More about Casey's chicken picks, which you can get of course at patreon.com slash who are these podcasts? Casey, I just saw your chicken picks. They're not bad, but if you really want to win the hearts of who are these podcast fans, you're going to have to show some feet. Saving with you two other ones. Come back. All right. Is the feet been getting old? No, it's not. I'll actually respond to his voicemail as Casey. Okay. Hi. Thank you for giving me a compliment. I'll show you my icky feet after I go canoeing today.

I'll post them on the Patreon. Thank you. A little bit too much energy there, Vic. You got to slow it out on the post. You got to get that central Florida type of vibe going there. So I got to do more meth then and then just crash immediately and then call in. Yes, after you crash, that's what you call out of the show. Beautiful. All right. What else we got here? Oh, this is a response to when I was talking about Maddox

and his vampire erotica that I was goofing I was tab was tab hey guys I just want to call about criticizing maddox's short story look it it was horrible the courtesy the criticizing was just horrible it's funny when you criticize the fuck whales book it's because he spent probably years of his life writing that piece of shit but this thing was made really quickly

and I don't give a shit about it. You guys are spending more time criticizing it and picking it apart a fucking short story made on a live stream. Then he probably spent writing it. So you know, that's all I gotta say. Don't call me back. Not true. Maybe I should have pointed this out, but I watched him write the story and I watched all

the different iterations it went through and all the changes I think I did point this out now I think about it. He spent a long fucking time writing the story We did not spend as much time goofing at it as he spent writing it and yeah I agree if you put me on the spot and said write a story about a vampire fucking a robot. It wouldn't be gold All right, I like it. It wouldn't be gold all right I like it wouldn't be it would be the greatest thing ever but god damn that sucked he's he's avoided humor he's forgotten how to be funny let me get the bowler sound effect so that you'd back on fire but so you're gonna call that guy back or other than

that he told me not to okay all right here's a vote coming in for the location of our live show this summer. Hey, Mrs. Gay Ross just got done with this week's episode. If you guys want to do a live show, I think Detroit would be a great spot to get all of us. The MP guys to come out, keep his voice male under 45, which from now on should be referred to as a small Jackson. All right, so fuck yourself, don't call me back. Thank you for a small Jackson. All right, so fuck yourself, don't call me back. Thank you for that small Jackson. And Detroit has gotten a few votes.

I've heard from Dallas, I've heard Nashville. Gary Indiana. We're not going to fucking Gary Indiana produce a Chris. Someone suggested it, I don't know. Oh, though, that's probably in the range for Vic. If you want to come and read some reviews at the live show. Uh sure. If I can make it. I mean, you know, I'm in Chicago. Yeah. I mean, Gary's not that far. No, it's not. I could do it. I would fucking do it. Carl wouldn't want for me. Drive through some nice

neighborhood. I'd be so excited to fucking see your ugly face and fucking person, Carl. I just love to fucking waste my goddamn fucking weekend reading goddamn reviews and listening to your fucking city ass podcast. The whole thing I can't even skip it. I know that's the worst part about the live show. You can't skip it. Even the person will definitely take out. You cannot skip. It does suck. And yet here we are. All right, let's see what else to go down.

Carl, how dare you solely the voicemail segment with that dumb song that you played on that last week's episode. And also to nobody who likes fucking you here and you talk about fucking music. It's annoying and shit. And it keep talking about music all the goddamn time the bills are never gonna win the Super Bowl animal all right then I'll stop

I didn't realize that oh hey there caro my I heard about what you're saying about monochromatics on your prodcuse. I just gotta say to stop Carl. Please stop. You know, monochromatics, he had a couple of freaky poos, couple of, couple what is this? How do you say, Carl? Like, like, another lawsuit. You better watch out, Carl. You better watch out. Yeah.

I did it. It's a good banana doxin. It's a five-star voicemail. Yeah, seriously. That's well done. It's better than my entire life. It's a good banana doxin. It's a five-star voicemail.

Yeah, seriously. That's well done. It's better than my entire life. It's a good banana doxin. It's a five-star voicemail. Yeah, seriously. That's well done. It's better than my entire life.

It's a good banana doxin. It's a five five star voicemail. Yeah, seriously, that's well done It was better than my impression of Huzie here today Yeah, right Hey, Carol it's CJ CJ calling you from I'm the lane and the apartment of my, I'm laying on the floor of my apartment. Look it up.

I had to sell my wheelchair to make my bail for this college court hearing. And I just wanna let you know, I loved the show, buddy. It was really nice to hear you guys Ragan Opie again you and Mad Cux Fantastic show buddy. I think he's trying to feel bad Dick what's trying to feel bad do for gonna give him a trouble

I don't feel bad good You smile he's he sent me the clips we played that we laughed yeah I don't feel bad. Good. I don't feel bad at all. I can tell, you're smiling a lot. He sent me the clips. We played that, we laughed. That was the long and short of it. It was fun. Oh, I should have brought this up sooner. I was on who's right earlier this week

because Doug was talking about how we bought press house coffee and it's delicious. I mean, he was excited that he got 20% off with the promo code WATP. I'm not making this up. This is true. And Anthony goes. What was the promo code?

WATP. Oh, 20% off. Okay, first order. Anthony from Who's Right is going fuck advertising. You got ripped off. So I watched this segment and I was like, Doug, can I call into the show and talk to Anthony about this? I went on and debated Anthony a bit.

And this is a response to my appearance on there. Carl, you're an absolute saint for trying to go on to who's right and debate Anthony. That man is, he's not just borderline retarded, he is retarded. Every time I hear him speak, I lose brain cells. And you know how I know I have a terrible opinion is when he and I hold the same opinion. God bless you, Carl.

Anthony is impossible to debate because He takes both positions and No contradict himself in the middle of a sentence. You're like, oh, then okay, so we're on the same page now like fuck dude What are we did? What are we talking about that? It's very annoying Hopefully the next time I go on who's right it won't be to debate Anthony Hey Carl it's crazy. Just wanted to say I love your parents. I was right. How you managed to not have like, lose your collective shit on Anthony. It'll be on me, but

not. I was just laughing the entire time. It was great. All right, coming back. Thanks, Teresa. Who knew Teresa was a who's right fan? I guess they're big in the Midwest. I think they're a Midwest kind of show. So people are in too. Alright, well Vic is laughed. Vic just was like, alright, I'm fucking out of here. She, I think she's in the middle of a bender.

So I want to thank her very much for filling in for Casey who's enjoying the nice warm weather that they have down there in Florida. And I want to thank all of you finding folks for hanging out with us in the discord. It was kind of Chrissy's debut, if you think about it. She's never been a co-host. She's come on the show.

She's supposed to be, but she's come on the show, to do little segments and stuff. But I thought she did a great job. And I agree. Perfect to have her talking about Paris Hilton because so many mean things I wanted to say would have come off a little differently if Chrissy weren't agreeing with every single one of them. This is it. It's over. Okay? Goodbye.

Goodbye. Hey, bye. Goodbye. But again, we're only here for one thing. Alright, with the briefcase, we're only here for one thing. And that is for me to get the fuck out of here Uba-bye What's up, bitch? You're listening to Who are these fucking podcasts? Polish people are stupid fact Welcome to who are these podcasts? Why power? I this is high-patured and you're listening to who are these podcasts Chinese people smell. I don't know who gives a shit. Why am I even still doing this? I'm out of here Thank you.