Who Are These Podcasts? - Ep26 - The Pen Addict

Episode Date: August 22, 2016

Kevin and Karl review a podcast that is all about pens.  Yep, pens... those things that are mightier than the sword or whatever.  The show is called The Pen Addict and we listened to episode #212 titled "Captain Orange Beard".  Karl comes to us remote this week from Philadelphia where he is staying in an AirBnB that may/may not be owned by Boyz II Men.  Kevin, yet again, talks about how pens aren't that weird a thing to be into and drops hints to his eventual LEGO podcast he will bore the world with.  The guys collectively don't understand the pen fanaticism but then again we don't use things to write things.  We type them on a computer like normal well-adjusted people.  Whatever, if you like pens and writing or paper (yeah they gush over paper too) then listen to The Pen Addict.  I can guarantee you that Kevin and Karl won't be. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hello and welcome to another episode of Who Are These Podcasts? I'm Kevin and I'm Carl and we listen to podcasts so you don't have to. We want to remind our listeners that you can check us out on WhoAreThese.com and on Facebook. We're always looking for podcast suggestions so send us an email, leave us a comment or post a death threat. On today's show we'll be analyzing and reviewing a podcast called The Pen Addict episode 212 entitled Captain Orange Beard. As always we have both listened to the show separately. We have not discussed it with each other beforehand, so without further ado, let's find out once and for all who are these podcasts.

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when we checked in is that he's gonna be coming home at some point today. Usually when I'm staying in Airbnb, we just have the place to ourselves, but we're like living with this dude. Oh, that's weird. So you might come in while we're taping this show and probably kick me out for whatever words

are coming out of my mouth at that time. Wouldn't it be awesome if you're actually staying at all the members of Boys to Men? It's possible! Yeah, like they all come in and they're like harmonizing and shit. I would say it'd be funny if Brad Doudy was the guy who had it up coming in here and I'm making fun of his shitty podcast. We listened to a show called The Penn Addict and it's hosted by two guys, Mike Hurley,

who sounds like he's British, and then the guy, Brad Doudy. And they're both really independence. Yeah, way too much independence. I didn't know this whole world existed. This was a suggestion from a listener. So I would not have found something like this. And my mind was blown by just these conversations, these two adults were having about pens. Yeah.

It's so, I couldn't believe it, like half the time I'm listening to it, because I just couldn't believe that there's actually 212 episodes of a show about pens. Well, there's now 218. Yeah, by the way. Oh right. Oh, right. Yeah, I really couldn't believe it. And I was listening with it to it with my girlfriend. And she was, you know, the same thing. We were just kind of looking at each other. Like, we didn't realize that this world was a thing. Like, that this was an actual hobby or whatever you'd want to call it. Because one of the guys owns a business like that this was an actual hobby or whatever you'd want to call it because one of the guys owns a business like doing this too

Yeah, I was a little bit. I didn't really understand what he was talking about being at the shop and they have a new thing They're launching I wasn't exactly sure if they were making pens or what they were doing at his shop Yeah, it's what's called knock company. So it's like knock co like NO It's no CK not KNO CK But they it looks like they they make like pen cases and like But like writing pads and like all stuff like in this universe that she's fucking Christ Yeah, so like that's the dude's job, too like he's alright. So Let's start playing I am I grabbed a ton of clips Kevin

I apologize. I had a time because you probably saw the whistle clips I have I saw them yes, I went in and started deleting songs. I'm like I can't we're just gonna have to play in their entire show I fight while these clips, but it was everything was amazing to me everything I listen to my cold shit I got a clip this I got a clip that I just kept clipping everything to me forever I was like, oh, shit, I got to clip this. I got to clip that. I just kept clipping everything. It's a movie forever. Why don't we get started and start playing

some of these clips so people know what we're talking about? Okay. You know what's a good one? Because this was also shocking to me. Play track six. So if you don't know, when you listen, when people listen live, they can suggest titles in the chat room that get pulled into a system

that we have where me and Brad will then pick the title at the end of the episode. So people listening will hear the things that we say and type them in and submit them as titles. There's a chat room going on and they broadcast this live and there's people like chatting with each other as they're talking about pens. Yeah, that that was completely flooring to me, too. That was crazy. And there's rank killers that are in this chair, like, oh, it's Kathy from the chat room and so and so on. Who are these fucking people?

It's bad enough that you do a show about pens, but you're the person who listens to a show about pens. Right, and dials it, and that dial, Jesus, show my age. And participate. Yeah, participate. It's like, gets on the chat boards or whatever with it. I was not talking about Jesus. Yeah, participate. It's like gets on, you know, on the chat boards or whatever with it. Oh, can you take me to Cyberpriot?

No, the pet addicts on it. I have to cut you live. Yeah, um, he refers to one of them. Uh, I think it's one of the people on the board at some point here. Um, I got a clip for that too. At least. But I'm going to go with spring blue because this series is called Four Seasons, so they're spring, summer, autumn and winter.

So. Well, then it doesn't make any sense. Does that really? So as Kathy would say, suck it. Ooh. Yeah, Kathy's got to be in a con today. What's her problem? Very provocative talk on the penny. She's Kathy. Yeah, wow, it's getting crazy.

Not to digress, but at any point I just feel like your door is gonna smear it up and I'm gonna hear Feel it back again I couldn't even tell you a single voice to that song. Come on. You know that's No, dude dude come on You know that I can remember hearing them sing is probably the national anthem in a basketball game or something I can't even rip with you on this one damn it. Oh, I was gonna have you do the low harmonies while I did the I was gonna take the wall Shit all right, let's let's pause this Kevin. Let me spend about three hours

Let's see the boys some man and then we'll pick it back up. It'll be seamless. No one will even notice all right Perfect, because we don't have a we don't have a live show. There's no one in our chat room. So no one will be the wiser Yeah, so not to you know, I know you hate when, you know, we talk about our personal lives, but I'm pretty sure that you're in Philadelphia because you went and you saw a band, right? Is that correct? I'm going to see Ween tonight. Okay, it's tonight. Okay, so tonight it ends landing. Yes. I was hoping that they played a freedom of 76. Oh, they have to play a, man. It's fucking Liberty Bell cracked in half.

Yes. Yeah. And the world works. Exactly. Yeah, there will be a lot of anger if I don't get to hear a little freedom of 76 tonight. Yeah, sorry. I just I needed to digress. And if any of our listeners are wean fans, then they'll know we're talking about, I guess.

But so another or some no one knows we're talking. Yeah, pretty much. We're the only two that know, but all right. So I have a track on here that I call weight. What are we talking about pens? It's number four. And I go back and forth. The, you know, the M90 is is so fantastic, but it's just not as flawless

as the Pro Gear is. It sounds like he's talking about the Galaxy Note 7 or something that's actually, you know, technologically superior with all these fucking names for these things. They're just pants. Right, right. They're not Wi-Fi enabled. they can't broadcast video on the wall, they're just fucking writing instruments. Yeah, they actually at one point talk about

how there's a new pen coming out and there's like the leak that date leaked for it or something. Right, right. Like it's a cell phone, you know, like it's a fucking iPhone or something, but it even make that comparison? He's like this these pens come out just like the iPhone where it starts with a leak and then there's photos come out and then a website I guess the exclusive and I'm like that you guys are idiots. Nobody is excited about a new pen coming out

There's literally tens of millions of people who are excited about the new iPhone that's coming out. It's very, very different. Right. Well, I mean, and the same respect, there are apparently a bunch of people who are into pens that are, I mean, they have a, a viewer or a listenership and the guy that owns his own business day, as I think. No. Bread. Bread, bread. Okay. I think Dave is I think no bread bread okay, red doubty he I think he owns that knock company and I

Looked him up like on Instagram just to see what the dude look like and I'm thinking he's gonna be like, you know Glue you got like a fucking pocket protector and shit or like uber hipster, but was not either of those things. But he has like 13,000 people who follow on Instagram and shit. Jesus Christ. That's what I think. The one on. Yeah, they really have like a huge like five.

I think it depends. You know how many things are more fun to be addicted to than pens like everything. Yeah Even they said they even got a mention on you know, you know Kevin roses, right? I do yeah They got a mention on his podcast like the pan addict and I was like Jesus Maybe we're in the wrong line. I mean we should be doing shit about if I can number two pencils or something like a whole well Kevin I did have a thought we've done podcasts you know we reviewed podcasts for people who like to dress up like free animals for

people who watch pro wrestling adults who watch my little pony these dick holes with their fucking love affair with pens and stationary I think there's just too many fucking people in this world with pens and stationary. I think there's just too many fucking people in this world. I'm just doing audience for all of these things. This is ridiculous. You're not advocating genocide, are you? I think I am. I mean, Kevin, I think I just made a pretty strong argument for each other. Okay, all right. Well, you know, to each their own, huh? All right, so the beginning of the show, they started off talking about their favorite pen. So I have a track on here, the British Jurkass favorite pen track too. So today, I am using my beautiful sailor Progea in orange with the Rhodium trim. in Orange with the Rhodium trim. It is remains to be the best pen that I own, my favorite number one, Mr. Penn.

So they are sponsored by this website called penchela.com. I decided to go look up this pen that he's talking about and see what's doing. And I found a two minute long video of the pen on penchela.com. That's how fucking deep this gets. You don't just like browse for a pen, put it in your shopping cart and check out. You do the research and watch a video and it's not even someone writing with the pen. It's someone taking it out of the box and then totally out of focus,

like bringing it up close to the camera and showing up. But I wanted to play, I grabbed some clips from that video because this was what was very interesting to me. I've never heard of these companies before, like Sailor is a Japanese pen company. But as they're describing the Sailor Pro Gear,

and this is from that video, listen to what's so great about this pen. It's all the fact that it has Sailor all over it. Play track 3. This is the Sailor Pro gear earth fountain pen. It comes in a blue full leather box with the Sailor logo printed in gold on the top of the box lid which lifts open. Soft fabric interior with the Sailor logo once again on the underside of the box lid on the top of the cap is the sailor anchor logo

with in golden black medallion and then it has these gold clip with a gold ring that runs around the top of the cap with sailor founded 1911? Uh... That would be like selling a pair of Nike's. And saying you'll see the Nike logo is on the tongue. We also have a swoosh over here on the side, and there's another Nike logo on the back. And everyone will see that you're wearing Nike's.

On the bottom of the shoe is another Nike logo. Okay, why would I want this fucking pen? It just because it's a sailor all over it? I don't understand if this is a prestige thing or at one point they talk about it being like fashionable or something. I'm not sure what the deal is. That's funny that you make the comparison to sneakers because that's a whole other thing too. That's very similar to this kind of fandom of the pens. There's people who are extremely into sneakers and I'm sure I haven't looked, but I'm sure there's a billion sneaker podcasts out there too.

People who are in like Jordan's and all that. That's a good idea. I didn't look that up. A sneaker podcast. I guarantee there is. I bet there are. Yeah, because I mean, it's a huge deal too. People who are really into, you know,

the different styles of sneakers and the new ones that come out and new Jordans that come out. And it's kind of the same deal where it's like, if there's a, A have his own Nike that's like $10,000 or something like that. Do you need a designer sneaker? I don't know. I don't know anything about that.

I wear A6. You know, like I just wear whatever I can fit at my giant feet. So, yeah, but it's very similar in that fact where it's kind of like this whole subculture of this topic and it seems to me or to anybody else, I guess, just weird because you're not kind of in the world. But I just... So play this track, number 11. Okay.

You buy a pen for a specific look. I was confused what they were talking about. For a specific look, I would think that you'd buy like a blazer or maybe sunglasses, you know, for a specific look. Is he thinking that people are looking at someone who's writing and going, wow, that fucking guy is a shit together.

Look at that seller, that is using. Yeah, I mean, it's, yeah, gotta be some type of prestige thing. Because what the other guy Brad talks about how the clips are very important and the how strong the clip is and how I can wear it in your shirt and blah blah blah. Yeah, I'm completely just floored that there's this many, like I don't know, to me it's like you go to the grocery store and you buy a pack of you know 800 big pens and then you're done, that's your pens and then you lose them all. Then you can never find a

pen even though you own 800 of them. Like that's my experience with pens. I don't... The cheaper the fucking better, I would never spend money on a pen and speaking of that you got to play Track 26. But it's like you just know it's it's you know expensive right? Yeah so it's for the small one it's six six hundred and seventy dollars. I've typed euro in the sheet but it's dollars and then eight seventy dollars for the La Grande. Ugh. Kevin, I started brain-serving things. I'd rather spend eight hundred and seventy dollars on that a pen.

Uh, I'd rather spend eight hundred and seventy dollars on a wet hand job from a chick with an Adam's apple. I'd rather purchase a seat in coach on Malaysian air. I'd rather donate it to Donald Trump's campaign fund. It's the way that kind of money on a fucking fan. The fuck do these guys talk about? Oh God. Yeah.

When I heard the numbers too, I was was like well, that's that's an iPhone That's buying your iPhone outright right there. That's what that you know how many things an iPhone does compared to how many things up And I don't know the exact numbers Kevin, but I'm gonna guess it's maybe three times as much Fuckin idiots Shit yeah, I have a couple of clips. Not quite as many as you do, but there's, there's one here that I just labeled Bukaki and I don't remember why, but it's probably because these pens are all like Japanese names or something. So here we go.

Sure. But yeah, I'm very happy to be using it. And as I mentioned, it is filled with Fuyugaki. Of course, Hiroshi Suku Fuyugaki. And I am writing on the field notes byline, which is one of my... No, nothing so expected. They probably have to scrape it off the chick's face. It's on the film. This pen is made by 30 Japanese gentlemen in one room. It's filled. Is that how they get their names? They have like the 207 and the 307. Is that how many guys?

That's how many dudes have jerks off. Yeah, into a glass. That's how many dudes have jerked off. Yeah into a glass Well, inside of the Kevin's browsing habit. It's there's the pennies filled with bucacchi and If you're if you're really lucky, there's the astamouth edition and the astamouth edition comes the Asthma of the Dition comes. Uh, there. So I don't know if you caught on to this. When I load the podcast into my, um, audio software, you know, you can see the wave lines and the British guys overmodulated and his

co-host Brad is a lot lower on the levels. And there was a suction for five and a half minutes where Brad does not shut the fuck up. He just talks and the British guy doesn't even get a word in. And I don't know if you picked up on this, but play Track 9 and listen to what happens with the co-host as this guy just goes on and on and on. I don't know. That's kind of been my thing recently and it's sticky. It's been sticking with me. I haven't know, that's kind of been my thing recently. And it's sticky, it's been sticking with me. I haven't been using my fountain pins near as much. Which I wrote recently, I was talking about this

because Mike Dudeck wrote a post about how he hadn't been using his fountain pins as much. And I got to think about it. I was like, you know, I'm in the exact same boat where my fountain pen usage was like 75% of my pen usage it's dropped down to probably under 50% Yeah, did you notice that like he just passed the fuck out. Yeah, he's out like a light I mean that was it was pretty fucking boring He's I think he was counting

Sailor pens jumping over a fence. That's what made him fall asleep. Um, let's see, I got a couple other ones here. Um, he gives me douche chills at one point because he says, uh, lusting, I'm lusting, I'm lusting a little. Here we go. From Anderson Pens, you'll get a kind of a good view. I think I've got some great photos of this thing.

I'm lost in. I am lost in. I mean, this is like, I'm glad I didn't buy the Ruge Noir. The Ruge Noir. I'm lost in. I'm lost in after this Poucaqui pen. And somebody says I'm lusting after a pen the Responses never I am to They're really really excited. I have another clip to for for a new pen where he's these pumped Some of what my stuque ultra black and

It's a Mop 1, my Stooc Ultra Black. I'm like, I got my fist pumped up in the air about this one to talk about this one. He's got his fist pumped in the air for that one. So I actually, I grabbed the same clip and I called it Holy Shit Brad. This is pathetic even for you. Track 25 of play because I added one of our new jingles to the end. Oh, okay okay great. I got my fist pumped up in the air about this one to talk about this one. That's where you Brad. These new jingles are the bees knees. It's great. They are very very good. Yes

All right, glad that we finally get the budget for that. Yeah me too Management finally fucking and opened up the purse Yeah track 17 is I think totally sums up this show perfectly Like I think totally sums up this show perfectly Like So I'm gonna let down

Yes, you got it right Brad This one was a let down Oh, shit I got a couple here. Let's see. I got one here where they talk about uncapping their pan. It's a bit a big moment Here, let's see I got one here where they talk about uncapping their pan. It's a big moment Okay, so I'm throwing caution to the wind doing something which is perfectly fine to do But I never do and I am leaving it uncapped Leaving it uncapped that made me uncomfortable. I'm going this is gonna try out my hand put the cap So $800 pen man put the cabinet back and that's a sput's a fan! 800 dollar pen!

I know what are you doing! Oh it's fucking that's what that's these guys fucking pumped up man it's by their pumping their fists in the air. Well I kind of have to. I try not to leave my buccocchi pen uncapped because it tends to congeal and then it kind of forms a almost powdery flake when on the skin the becockey does. And then I take the astamouth pen and I like to put the ATM pen. These people are so boring. Think about what they're talking about.

This is their show. Could you imagine hanging out with these people in just a regular scenario shooting this shit? These have to be the most boring fucking people in the world. And they're not quick on their feet at all. Play track 5. It's like I've been waiting, I've been waiting. You know, that's how I imagine my pro gear thing. They're not quick on their feet at all play track five It's like it's like I've been waiting I've been waiting, you know, that's I am how I imagine

My pro gear thinks and he talks to me when I pick him up What's his name? I haven't got one for him. Yeah, I don't mind. I don't have names either. No He asked him what his pen's name was. Yeah, it's a fucking absurd quote. What's his name? And you know, he tried to go with a joke. By the way, they're fucking right in the noise gate hardcore. You notice how it just goes to silent when they're not talking? Yeah, I actually was gonna say, I liked the audio production.

I know the other production is good. The only problem is that when they have a brain fire And they don't know what to say. It's just the deadest dead air you can hear So um, I got a track on here called no shit Sherlock. This is where Brad explains something that's painfully obvious to anyone with a brain But really over explains it track eight Something that's not a fountain pen because that's not the best for the situation. And I think that's what I found.

It's like I found a kit that's better for the situation I'm in. And that's what I talk about all the time using the right pins and paper in the right situations. It doesn't matter what's the best pin or what's your favorite pin. It's what's the best for the situation that you're in. Holy shit. Could you imagine even analyzing something that deep?

If I have a pen and or paper, and I need to write something down, we're good. Right, right. I had pretty much... I'm not over analyzing it any further than that. Well, they talk about the paper that they use. I've seen these things written, I always thought they were just called bowl skin

because that's what it's written like, but he calls it mole skin. Oh, I've got my, I didn't even pick up on that. Yeah, I got my mole skin when I like to write in my mole skin and I'm like, what the fuck, is that really how it's pronounced? I just assumed it was mull skin because whatever, not in this world, this crazy world of pens.

Well, well, this is, that's a part of the thing we haven't talked about yet, is they're not only super, super, er, racked for these pens that they're using, but they're excited about the notebooks that they use, too. There's two adults talking about fucking notebooks. I haven't purchased a notebook since I was in school. I don't know how I'd ever have a discussion around stationary with a body of mine.

It's something I couldn't possibly put less thought into is a fucking notebook. They're super excited about it. The last time I owned a notebook, it had a Metallica drawn on the front of it. Yeah. Or anthrax or something like that. Or I think I was tracing the Beastie Boys logo.

I'd do it. Yeah, or the Twisted Sister, the TS thing. That was a popular one in school too. And it was a... Yeah, check, I could always pull off. Yeah. It's, it was a need five star. I don't know what that ranks on for these guys, but good old need, a need and pick those were the ones that I chose.

I know when they talk about all the different companies that make these pens and these notebooks, they're all coming to have never heard of. Right, right. Like, it's a stocky throw. They're all coming. I've never heard of right right like I don't know where the fuck like you have to go to like special stores in order to to purchase these fucking things All right, so I don't know why I was going with any of that. I was just annoyed with the talk about notebooks I'd rather watch the movie The Notebook. You'd rather pay $800 for a copy of the notebook. All right so they talk about something I'd never know I never knew what it was before, but they talk about nibs.

Do you know what a nib is? I do not know what that is. All right, play track 20. They are, the nibs are gorgeous. They are black with this gold detailing. Have you seen the nibs? Yes. Oh, they look good

He's talking about nips the way I was talking about nips when Jennifer Lawrence's iPhone picks really He's way too excited. Oh did you see this? The nips just the fucking end of the pen Where the fucking ink comes out? Really they call that has a name Okay, the nip and these guys go out and out about these fucking ns and the nibs have to have like fucking 24-karat gold on it and you know you're talking about gorgeous it is it's it's for fucking writing and this is a thing that I thought was interesting Kevin because when I played

you the the teaser on this last week you would ask what do they do with these pens are they artists and all they're doing is taking notes. Yeah, yeah. It's not like they're using pens for any reason other than just writing shit down that no one cares about. Right. Well, that's one of the examples that Brad gives is he's like, yeah, I like to sit down when I'm doing the podcast that I have my notebook and my pen. I'm like, what the hell are you doing?

Well, the notebook and pen when you're in front of a computer with audio recording shit? What do you need to possibly write down while I went to his Instagram? And I saw a picture from the show of whatever notebook he was talking about and his little scribbled notes that he was taking because that's fucking interesting for people. Not only is he talking about taking notes, which is boring, he's taking pictures of taking notes and posting them on the internet. And it should just be a bunch of dick-strung.

That's what I wanted to see. Yeah, if he was just drawing balls and like, penciling in the little hairs that come off, then I can understand why I needed $800 a pan. But no, this fucking shit has writing down notes like, oh, I talked too much. I come on, it's British. I love nibs.

Nibs. Oh, Jesus. All right, I have another, before they got into that pen, that cost $870. They were talking about this other pen. And I have a clip that's called Price of New Pen, Jesus fucking Christ. Did you say the price?

Yeah, 500 euro. 500 euro, yeah. So, for what? Close to 700 US, 6, 5700? Yeah. Okay. So again, just ridiculous amounts of money for a pen. But here's the punchline to that track.

Play number 19. I mean, so let's be perfectly clear. There's no doubt they'll sell out of these immediately. They just will. What? And this was the pen, if you remember Kevin, they were talking about was a epic failure. They came out with their 25th or 50th anniversary edition

and they're like, oh, this pen sucks. And then they cost, what, 700 bucks? And they're gonna sell out, no problem. Yeah. Why are they fucking pens, Gavin? Okay. Can we start making Voucaqui pens? I, you know what, I think we probably could.

I mean, I don't know if people would want a Voucaqui pen that was, you know, procured by me, but I think that we could, and I think that we're on the wrong line of business. I think that we should be. The fucking people who are buying pens for this kind of money are idiots. I think that they just buy shit if it's expensive,

which is exactly the kind of market you wanna get into. Yeah, well, in fact, if you wanna subscript to WATP, it's now $80 a week. Right, right. And it's worth it. There's some company that's podcasting us. Yeah. I'm not really speaking of which.

These shit heads on their website, which they're on RelayFM, which is a pretty big podcast network. On their website, you can support the show. $5 is the silver level, $10 is is the gold level or you can do an annual one hundred dollars okay why the fuck if you're buying eight hundred dollar pens how do you have a hundred dollars to support this shitty show i just i want to know like just what type of people have that type of disposable cash for pens i i really, I understand if your job is, you know, you are a pen and ink artist, you know, you're doing commissioned artwork for whatever bands or movies or so you know what I mean, whatever, I get that you would want the best that you possibly could get

for that. But when you're just using it just because you need a pen, I don't get it. I don't really understand, like you said. I mean, it just sounds like they're just doing it just because they want to have something expensive. I'd rather listen to heroin addicts talk about heroin because then I wouldn't be so understand if they're like, the shit is fucking awesome.

I'm like, how much was it? 800 bucks? All right, side me up. All right That makes sense it makes sense to me, but these fucking numb nuts And I wonder if there's a used market for pens if they cost that much fucking money Can you buy it a previously owned and enjoyed pen and get a? I don't know I guess I don't care that much never mind I got a trivia I got a trivia question for you.

Okay. Okay. You listen to the show so you might know the answer. The question is which colors are bad ass? I'm gonna say like black. Is that what you said? Play track 22. Here's the answer. Drop me two more colors in there as well. That are just bad ass like blue or orange or green or purple. Okay, so let me just sum this one up. Bad ass colors include a third of all primary colors and a hundred percent of all secondary colors are bad ass. You know what, you could just buy one of those stupid blue pens but like they had like the different colors at the top

that you like pushed down. You know that pen that every girl had? Yeah, dude, I just, that one caught me by surprise surprise. I'm like what's he gonna think some badass color? I didn't know what the fuck he was gonna say, but when he threw out orange and blue I was like what if somebody if somebody handed me something Yeah, but if somebody handed you something written an orange I would be like just fucking redo this in black Like you know, I mean like you like, you're not even understanding this. This isn't the color of the ink.

This is the color of the pen. Oh, okay, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, Stu, man. All right, they did say something about a pen that was actually correct at one point in the show. Play Track 23. It would be a perfectly fine pen. It's just, again, it's just not super exciting. Yes, correct. Pen's are not super exciting. Very good, correct. Pens are not super exciting. Very good, Brad.

Wish you could have come to that realization two hundred and twelve episodes ago, but at least we got there. Right, right. Oh, God. Yeah, I just, I don't even know like where to, where to go with this. I, look, I've said it many, many times on the show before.

I have some weird interests too I think everybody has some Liveos Exactly. I like Lego for example Would I do a Lego podcast? No, I do Will I do that? I would not do it, but I I would not do it, but I guess on a level because I relate to having maybe a weird hobby for somebody who's 39 years old. But you're how old? Dude, that's fucking weird. Yeah, it's an experience. Well, you know, it's no more weirder than dressing up as a furry animal or liking

cartoon ponies, but it's probably on the same level, honestly, but I get it. I get that people are into different shit. People have different hobbies, but it all comes down to why does there need to be a audio talk show about this? And it's usually when you've got a huge following and I just could if somebody told me, you know Two weeks ago before we even knew about this thing that there was a pen podcast that had a shit ton of people who are fucking nonchap boards talking to them I've been like you're fucking smoking crack chat boards talking to them. I'd be like, you're fucking smoking crack. But that's exactly what this is. I just don't get it. I really don't understand this culture. It's a little bizarre. I have a few more clips that we'll get through and then we'll move

on with our lives. But play track seven on here and i am writing on the field notes by line which is one of my very very favorite things right now i've got to say boring kevin knows what am i very favorite things right now wet hand jobs but you're talking about a fucking notebook you love wet hand wet hand jobs. Not a fan of the dry. You don't

like the dry. Oh, I'll take a dry tub and rug. Yes, sure. A tub and rug. Talk, talking to a dog. He's a tub and rug. Whatever. So has that guy come back home yet? He has it. I'm keeping an eye out for him. Okay, cuz you're talking about rubbing tugs You sitting by the front door like what the fuck? Well, this this fucking place is really tacked out. It's all Wired up and security and I wouldn't be surprised if everything I'm saying is being transmitted into his head buds in real time Probably sizing me up. What kind of fucking creep I am. Yeah, this guy's talking about buccacchi and pens It's got a weird ass dude that I rent to he's going to see ween. Oh, what a creep

All right, I have a track on here that's called something I've never said in my life and never will. This, this pit is sweet. Hey, you know what, we should make a podcast about the game pencils. Remember that? Oh, is when you flick the other person's pencil? Yeah, yeah, I wonder if that's's you would try to get the metal part Like as sharp as possible. Yeah, well that would be like almost cheating though if you did like the metal I know you mean though like there you take the eraser out and you flatten the end out so like a sword. Yeah

That game sucked because it took way too fucking long to break a pencil with another pencil. Well, then there'd always be some wise ass who like went to like a gift shop and got one of those oversized novelty pencils. And they'd be like, well, I'm gonna play you now. And he'd be like, no. Okay, well, let's promise we'd never talk about pencils again. Okay, well, I was gonna hope that we would do an entire, you know, show 200 episodes plus of talking about pencils and the game of pencils. I'm sure Kevin Smith would want us to do that, but I'm gonna.

Nice callback. So there was the end of the show where they decided to be hilarious. I thought this was a little awkward. Play track 27. So until then say goodbye Brad. Goodbye Brad. Oh my god. It's like a Mike Myers joke. Yeah, that's that's fucking that's an old uh, That's an old uh... Oldie but a baddie. It's uh... George Burns, right? Oh, I don't know. Good night, Gracie.

Like that whole thing. Wow. Very good. Apparently I'm 85 years old. I'll give it to you there. When she sits around the house. She sits around. I don't know.

Waka, waka. Waka, waka. Yeah. All right. I have more clips on here, but I'm fucking bored with this I can't play anymore When I was listening to this I'm like this is all so fascinating to me and now we've been talking through this and I'm exhausted Yeah, I Listened to the first 20 minutes last night and didn't clip anything And then I was telling my girlfriend, like, I got to, I got to

relisten to the first 20 minutes because I can't find anything to clip because it was so, as so boring, just so like going nowhere. But yeah. So the good news is, we're going to do this again next week, Evan. Okay. We got we got we're going in a very different direction with the podcast that we'll be reviewing next week. I did pull a teaser clip for us. Have you want to pull that up? All right. Here we go. Come in. Dr. Bright. I'm yes. Hi. I'm here for a session. For a therapy session, that is. Two o'clock.

I have a two o'clock appointment. It's my first time. In therapy, I mean, that's probably obvious. I'm Sam. Samantha. My name is Samantha Barnes, but you can call me Sam. Or Samantha. I don't want to find whatever you're comfortable with.

It's your office. Which would you prefer? Uh, Sam, I suppose. I had to pick. Well, Sam, why don't you come in? Right, gosh, sorry. Please take a seat. What?

OK, so this is called the Bright Sessions. It's an audio drama about therapy for the strange and unusual. So the doctor's name is Dr. Bright. Okay. That's why it's called the Bright Sessions. And it's one of these, you know, we listen to the We're Alive Zombie podcast. It's another one of those those acted out, scripted out radio dramas. But you said like it's so it's okay, I'm assuming therapy sessions about the

what did you say the odd? So is it like for the strange and unusual? So it's kind of like a it's supposed to be like a sci-fi kind of thing. All right, so she's gonna sit down to be like I fucking UFOs looked at my snatch and Exactly. Yeah, I think you've got this figured out. Yeah, I think it's gonna be like Dr. Katz Minus the entertainment value. Okay, minus the shaky drawing Squiggle drive So when I love about these types of shows is of course the awkward acting and that was the very beginning of the very first episode and right off the bat it's already over the top acted.

Oh, you know, just just actually can not get a job doing anything that they've actually paid them for doing this. I like the sound effects. I'm sorry. I'll I'll I got the sound effects. I'm so excited about well the funny thing to me is like that okay, so In that scene she's supposed to be like awkward and uncomfortable it is she couldn't get that right and she is awkward But I love the theater of the mind shit where it's like why don't you come over here and you have to hear like the footsteps

It could it could be carpeted you don't have to fucking have every sound Because I can yeah, well I want I need two drumsticks and two shoes I need to stick the drumsticks in the shoes so I can make this the step noises when they's going across the room What if she's wearing six-inch heels? We're gonna have to get a different sound from that one. You know what? I think she's she's Danish so she might be wearing clogs. I think she's wearing wooden shoes. Let's let's just have it for safety people. When they when they air this in in wherever the hell Danish lamp is when they air this in in uh wherever the hell Danish land is

Holland right I don't know but the fire I don't know my geography but Denmark that's amazing that's good I like it I don't know anything over there I just know Amsterdam and and weed and and sex that's the only thing I know about that old general area weed and sex. That's the only thing I know about that old general area. In your defense, I think Denmark and Belgium and the Netherlands are, I don't even think they can tell each other apart. They're all pretty much the same country. That's fine. So, I'm excited about this show because as you know, Kevin, I'm an aspiring fully artist. That's right. I remember now. I forgot about that. It's a lifelong hobby of mine.

I'm very excited about it. I think this is going to be a fun show. I'm looking forward to next week. I feel like we're going to hear a compilation of some sort that you're going to put together. Did you notice how much I didn't have any music today? I didn't have any compilations. Yeah, I really let the audience down.

I think you did. You know what? There's no, I did no impressions, no dice, no Colbert commander. It was a very vanilla episode today. Just like talking about pens. Was it a dud? I I wanted to chime in here. No co-readers here. Yes, I just wanted to say that I use pens all the time and no one cares. No one gives a two shits about it. I'd rather listen to a complaint about Dastro that talk about using pens. That is true. I love talking shit about Dastro Good old Cobra commander everybody. Save in the day as usual All right last thing I'll point out is we've been getting some great reviews on iTunes. We really appreciate that because all the people who we should on like to go on there and ship back on us.

So please give us five stars in iTunes. Oh, you know what's funny, Kevin? We do have a lot of reviews on there and every single review is either one star or five stars. I did notice the same thing. We have like nine one star reviews and like seven five star reviews There's nothing in between I love that there's no one's just like I'd give it a C-plus either like fuck these ass Well, again, it's actually pretty funny. I'm gonna check this out. Yeah, yeah, I feel like that's been that's kind of been how

People have perceived me through my entire life receive me through my entire life. I love your accent. It's our job. So yeah, for everybody's been checking out the show and sharing it with their friends and going on and reviewing. We really, really appreciate that. And we hope to join us again next week because it might be the show where we find out once and for all who are these podcasts.

Sleep well, every pony.me I don't know. I don't get it. Makes no sense.