Who Are These Podcasts? - Ep354 - NoSleep Podcast Revisited

Episode Date: October 23, 2022

We're gearing up for Halloween by revisiting the horror podcast, NoSleep. Get ready for some frightening stories that are very well written and acted. Trigger warning - the show contains trigger warnings. My original cohost Kevin is back to point out some of his favorite voice talent on this super scary show that's totally only for adults. After that, I introduce the listeners to Lorenzo Arreola from "thats all funny." This guy is a find. Also, I'm the subject of the latest song parody, Stuttering John wears his shirt inside-out, Chad Zumock fails at sketch comedy, and both review girls join us to catch a dabbler. Support us, get bonus episodes, Vic pics, and watch live every Saturday and most Wednesdays: http://bit.ly/watp-patreon https://watp.supercast.tech/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Episode three Are you a boner guy? You know what I miss penis. What are you talking about? I'm the one who should apologize cuz Cuz a row cuz a row slap a runie at showtime W. A. T. P. A. W. I. T. P. Hello, Riverniks and Kuzuru's. Welcome to another episode of Who Are These Podcasts. The only show that hasn't changed a thing in six and a half years. I'm your host, Cara, with me today. Like he is every week. Michael host Gavin. What's happening, Gavin?

Good to see you, buddy. What's up? Yeah, I'm on time. I'll see. Please go to who are these not counting your email address, voice mail number. The link to our sub right at the link to our discord server, the link to our merchandise, the link to our YouTube channel. And of course, that link to our Patreon and supercast featuring two exclusive bonus episodes every single month. We just did one this week that dropped today. It was another Dixho, Hordeys podcast crossover event and we may have discovered a new guy. I'm the, I'll play a clip later today because I'm pretty excited about this new guy, Adam

Thoreau, found for us. But we had a fantastic episode. We talked about that woman. This woman who puts on makeup while telling true crime stories on YouTube and 6 million people watch her do it. She's got this podcast called Dark History and women explaining how history went down as fucking fascinating.

Yeah. Yeah. Anyways, that's a lot of fun. Definitely check that out. Also, we encourage our listeners to give us a five-star Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Anyways, that's a lot of fun. Definitely check that out. Also, we encourage our listeners to give us a five-star review and demo podcast and then should all of us in the comment section. Hopefully we'll have a review girl or two later on in the program to read the latest reviews

coming in. But first, we'll be reviewing a show called The No Sleep Podcast. We have both listened to the show separately. We have not discussed it with each other beforehand. Let's get into it. This is a show that Kevin and I reviewed six years ago. And it's one of my favorites that we did. It's one of these scripted theater of the mind

acted out shows. And I'll just read you this. I think this is important. Write on their website. Very prominent on the homepage. It says warning. This is a horror fiction podcast. It is intended for mature adults,

not the faint of heart. Join us at your own risk. The reason why I wanted to say that, Kevin, is because this shows how it gets for adults. This show, I don't know who this show is for, honestly. It's not for anyone. It's not for adults. I was playing clips this morning.

My wife came down. She was, is this for children? I thought so, but I don't know the website says, it's for adults. Let me play an example. This is the, so there's a bunch of different scary stories that are acted out throughout the podcast. Like two hours long. So there's like six or so.

And they have these scary interludes. So this is just a tie for Halloween everybody. That's This is where a dog was said sound from beneath your bed. I know the cats. I don't know. Oh, I know what he what he's thinking is Like a dog your uncle You're creepy uncle. I'm staying over this game is 38 years. What's he doing? Are you afraid of cliches? Yes, Christ. What the fuck is going on here, Kevin? This show's been going on forever.

They have all these people working on it. Are people listening to this? Are people turning the lights off and listening to this show? Yeah, apparently. It's basically like a fucking live action Scooby-Doo No Scooby-Doo is hilarious. This show is awful in every single way So let me just I'm gonna play the clips from one of the stories I listen to and I'll let you take it away because you was doing episode that I did Which is good?

So there won't be any overlap and this story starts off by already telling you what's going to happen. So make sure you understand your Halloween costume. You might discover that they're more than the masks we wear. Alright, so right there I'm going, oh, okay, I know what's gonna happen. They're gonna turn into whatever they dress up as for fucking Halloween.

Let's see how we get there. And it starts off as kid is sitting at the dinner table at Halloween night with his parents. And he's like, I really wanna go trick or treating. And the dad says, that is forbidden and you know that. It's too dangerous. You can't go trick or treating. And I love the mom in this, the acting here.

Mm, the acting is perfect. That's bullshit. I slammed my utensils down on the plate. All my friends go trick or treating every year, and nothing bad has ever happened to them. Watch your language. It sounds like she's ready to script for the first time. Yeah. Watch your language. She's so drunk. She's a little kid like it's bullshit. You can't watch your language.

And those utensils. Yeah. She'll slab you to your tassels down. All Alright, so now the kid storms off into his room, turns on the TV for cover, goes outside of his house to meet up with his body to go trick or treating, and his body brings all the supplies they need to go trick or treating. Do you have everything we need? Joel reached into his backpack and produced two latex masks one in each hand Would you rather be the wolf man or the killer clown They're your masks. You pick the one you want and I'll wear the other So that was your criteria because you just put a mask on call today. Hey look at it's the point close barrel. I wish it was more contemporary. Would you rather be Joe Biden or the mayor of Flavor town, a slutty zombie?

You want to be sexy Kyle Reynolds? Oh, come on, sexy Kyle Reynolds every year. All right. So apparently that what their plan is is just to put on these masks and then they go trick or treating. And I like this because it sounds like it was a written story that's being acted out, but they forgot to take out the parts they don't need to have in a written story anymore. Is it okay if I leave that here until we get back?

His voice was muffled by the mask as he pointed at the bag. Yeah, I know. we could hear that. That's fucking stupid, Carl said excitedly! Yeah, oh, look, there's no coffee for the sickle of a dude, double-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum He attempted to say the alphabet. It's a fucking statement. Alright, so after this kid puts on the Wolfman mask, he starts to feel a tingly sensation and then he looks over at his body who is also put on his mask, the clown mask. When I looked over at Joel, he had a worried look on his face. He was wearing a mask. It's a plot hole. This is an inconsistency, right?

He had a worried look on his face. I could tell. It's a killer clown. Stupid. The mask was worried clown. That was the actual mask, but it was. It was a scary kind of worried clown. Concerned clown. That was the actual last one. It was like, it was just worried. Concerned clown. Is it when they hand love to party city? Just concerned clowns? I got

their late. I'm sorry. I should have got shot at you earlier in the month. It's my bad completely. So that took me right out of the story. Right now, this doesn't make any fucking sense now. All right. So, okay, this, this is where it gets kind of gross.

The last thing I remember before passing out was Joel screaming in the feeling of something wet spraying across my face. It's the bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- bu- Oh Believe it's this monster's got seven dicks It's Peter North East South and West Oh What was he doing? Holy shit. This is more of a... So what happens here is this kid puts on the mask, turns into a werewolf, kills his front. His parents come out, and you know, if you saw that your son had just murdered his friend, you'd be concerned.

Of course, the mom is. More brilliant acting here. Don't be too hard on him. My mother walked up to my father and placed her hand on his arm. He had no idea this would happen. Could you act like you're a little bit upset about what just happened? A little bit? I was directing this. I'd have some notes. His mother was very heavily medicated. Mrs. Zanax comes out. She's like, Hey, when are you guys up to?

Hey, don't be murdering and everything. Where's the candy? What did I say about murdering your friend at Halloween? Let's talk about this. We talked about this. All right. They go on to describe this crime scene as if we don't know what's happening here.

I pulled my hand away and looked at it. It was covered with the same red liquid. It could only be one thing. Blood. Oh, I thought I was going to be tomato juice, okay. Wipeers. He's talking about red liquid. He's like, oh my gosh, there's red liquid everywhere.

It's liquidy, it's red. I know what it they having come on? It can we just I mean I knew from the beginning of the story what was gonna happen and it just takes so long To reveal this so finally This is the the big reveal His abdomen Have been ripped open Exposing his intestines

Some part of which lay on the ground next to him. All right, so we disemboweled his friend. I want to remind you that the mom said, don't be too hard on him. He didn't know. He didn't know he was gonna see her that. If you just put in the fucking clown mask on, they could have had fun.

They would have had a good time. Prankin' the whole neighborhood. All right, I just have two more from this. So for some reason, this fucking kid is still confused by what's going on here. It's like, a dummy. I don't know how else to spell this out for you. You're not like the other kids, honey. She wiped away the vomit that was stuck on my chin and then rubbed her soiled hands against her pants.

You're a mask. I gave her a confused look. What's a mask? What do you think it is? Well, he doesn't know what blood is, though. What the fuck do you think it is? He knew what intestines were. We did not know what blood or

what the f**k you think it is. He knew what intestines were. We did not know what blood or what the f**k you think it is. He knew what intestines were. We did not know what blood or what the f**k you think it is. We did not know what blood or what the f**k you think it is.

We did not know what intestines were. We did not know what blood or what the f**k you think it is. We did not know what blood or what the f**k you think it is. We did not know what blood or what the f**k you think it is. We did not know what blood or what the f**k you think it is. We did not know what intestines were. We get it! Jesus Christ. I got it for the story started! Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ. And then I love this show because it transitions from these spooky tales into ad reads.

And it's just seamless, guys. Problems like that may all be relative, but not all problems are insurmountable. That's why we now have a word from our sponsor, Better Help. When we think about problems, things might come to mind like, How do I fix an issue with a co-worker? Or, how am I going to pay for that much needed car repair? Ooh, expensive car repairs!

Oh, oh, oh! On the check-end to the line! Whoa! Ha ha ha ha ha ha! I'm freaking out over here, man. Holy shit, dude. My alignments all fucked up. I think my hand that's the way that it's slowing goes right. This is a disaster. All right, Cabin, I've hogged this long enough, my friend.

So what you listen to. long enough, my friend. So the episode I listened to was about this town in Ohio. I'm already scared. Some mysterious. Yeah. With chance to come from there. Yeah. Ken, so high. So it's supposed to be so actually this episode started out with an ad read. I got in the characters. So I was like, what the fuck?

Like I couldn't understand what was going on. So they get through the ad read and then they set up the story. I'm so sorry, I told you to go with it. I'm interrupting you. But you just reminded me, didn't this happen when we were listening to the show six years ago, where they were doing like a blue apron ad or something, and they're like, oh no, he's at the door. They're like, let's quit.

Let's just make this pre-prepared meal real quick. Give them star-bang. They're some bull nays. I have to see how he had a knife. Why hand you the knife? Because I need to carve the steak. Yeah. Delicious steak. Grass, delicious steak.

Grasshopper. This looks like I couldn't believe it. Like because there's one particular fucking voice actor in here that I think is hilarious. Okay, good. His name is Fossiphmuss. Okay. And we'll meet him a little bit later.

But so the premise of this is there's a town in Ohio and there's a documentary crew. So watch us play the play the first one be the first sample here because it's it kind of sets up. What's going on? In the year of 1967, the town of Goldmeadow, Ohio, suffered a tragedy. Hmm. What caused the tragedy? Nobody knows. Indeed, nobody is aware of exactly what the tragedy comprised of, even.

Wait, do you need a minute? She's like, there was a tragedy. It's like, we can do this whenever you're ready. I have to take this tape. Well, and that's what I kept on going, why is it like she's intentionally fucking things up on the tape? I'm like, what's going on?

So she basically says that, yeah. Yeah, yeah. So she sets up that no one knew what happened in this town. But then it could happened, like what happened in this town, right? But then it could proceed to explain what happened to the town. I always love doing things. It's a mystery. And the bot were dead.

Yeah, so, so. So here, like if you play two and three, you can, it's just more of this, like, stuttering and mispronouncing, like shit you would do different takes for if you were recording something. Okay. Naturally, rumors about investigations into the tip, to the, to the disappearances were conducted and immediately classified.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, due to the lay of the land, satellite imagery shows more. You know it's funny I bet they did retake it and they grabbed the raw guan Oh, yeah, in both production So you would think so but we're getting this to the big reveal here, so okay So the next one the next one's even better cuz that one was like Yep, what are you doing you like pie start over. Yeah, well you have a pew big your mouth

So this one's even worse than what is this thing doing here Gross all right, I'm just kidding. I floss with flaws One folklorist famously One folklorist faint folklorist, famously one folklorist, folklorist. One folklorist famously claimed that the town's culture sounded like a masquerade. What is going on here? This is a professional podcast with sponsors and a whole website. Kevin said we're going somewhere with this.

Wow. It sounds like someone doing isotope samples. Full, more, more for color. Yeah, but we take it again. I use the right one. Right, right. So then we get into like that this is being recorded. And then they kind of go through the different cast of characters

that are there to film this documentary. And now you kind of understand who this person is. And then of course, there's me, your host Magdalena Silva. I have... Fuck, what was the line? I have... A great ass. Thanks, Kent't babe that was definitely the line yep I'm a hero so at this point I'm like what the fuck is going on I'm What am I listening to? So I'm not sure at this point is this, the podcast or is this a audio recording that they're playing in the podcast before they go out and do the actual recording? So it's like, oh, fuck the metal.

Like the blowerless project kind of thing, right? Yeah, yeah, like it's a shaky camera on purpose. Like, okay, yeah, but it's a shaky camera on purpose. Okay, yeah, but it's annoying. I don't really want to watch that. So they went so she but right before that clip, she goes through everybody. There's like a director and all these people and what they've done, one's a Oscar winning director and blah blah blah all this fucking bullshit, right? So now we go. So now we're like, this is supposedly audio from the body cam That one of them is wearing when they pull up to the gate and they meet this charming gentleman who is

Security guard and that's number five yo dream a good bud All right, we ain't got long Remember what I said you no loud music no loud anything You know why music knows how to all fuckers in and out in two days I like this guy. I love this guy. It's basically Matthew McConaughey impression Matthew McConaughey, which by the way he already is over the top Yeah, exactly so there's I got some more of this guy,

that's number six, just because I love his voice. Yeah, sure thing Phil, I've heard your aim so bad, you missed it point blank range. Oh yeah, hell, I'm just fucking with you. You on the back, you don't gotta be afraid of Phil. I'm a teddy bear. Anyway, I don't get on through now. Well, drive on through, buddy. The gate is closed. You need to open the gate. Oh, hell yeah.

Can we get a cover talent here? Who didn't make the audition? Can we find someone else? Please? Where's Dorkles? What the fuck is this? This is awful. What the fuck is this? This is awful. You know what this reminds me of? So I was checking out a recent episode of the biggest problem in the universe and Vito just wallety brought in theater kids as the biggest problem in the universe.

This reminds me of like theater kids, people who overact and they think they're all talented and fun and funny, it's like, you're the only one enjoying this. Just you. No one else wants to hear you do this stupid fucking accent and then like, you're the only one enjoying this. Just you. No one else wants to hear you do this stupid fucking accent. And then anyway, we're moving on.

It's theater for themselves. Yes. All right, so in the story, let me catch you up here. So they pull in, this is all in body candy. Pull into the whatever, the resort inside this mountainous bullshit and Ohio. And now they introduce themselves to each other. So now we're actually meeting the director and the bubble. So that this dude has, he's like,

talks about his dad being a director, and it's just, I don't know, I think it's fucking amazing. My father directed a lot of movies, more than Dre. Yeah, so he did what if they done with the Crystal Cats head dance dance naked blade one and two a Wampoke family dinner the happy slap chap. So he's pretty happy slap chap. I mean it's no for what it's worth right it's no talking cat but still pretty good movie

Yeah And then we meet four-cythe Mercer oh good all right Hey, I think you're forgetting someone I thought you fell back to sleep in the van you old goat such disrespect I was resting my eyes! Long drive, wasn't it? I am a classically trained actor of stage and screen, I'll have you know! I think everyone knows Uncle Mercy. Go! He was getting more to the rings though, I have to say.

I'm a classically trained. I never turn it off. This is me all the time. Come here to Thanksgiving, past the grade. Fucking weirdo. Fucking method actor. Jesus Christ. Oh my God. I got with Daniel Day Lewis.

Like you're not fucking Lincoln. Just sit down and have some food. So so now this is like now they come back to the narrator and they're like, okay, so it's something different narrating now So number eight. So now it's it's taken a change here. We're getting the M night ending now. Rick at scratch Freeze frame. Yep, that's me. You're probably wondering how I ended up in this situation. Being alive, I mean, after all, it's pretty well known. Tim bodies were recovered from gold medal in 2017.

Whatever happened there, there were no survivors. But you just said that you survived. Yeah. So there was one survive. So there had just said that you survived. Yeah. So there was one survived. So there had to be at least one. Right. And one of you survived. My least favorite thing that people write is you're probably wondering.

Yeah. Don't fucking assume what I'm doing. I'm nodding off. I'm not wondering shit. I'm bored out of my mind. You're probably bored out of your mind. OK, yeah. Yeah, right.

You got me. OK, so now number 10 is kind of the big reveal here. Okay, good. Now in 2022, I want to help share our story because I don't like being dead. I especially don't like being murdered. Okay, so this is like a robot. I was thinking, shatter.

This is what it goes sounds like. I am a ghost. I am dead. I am on dead. It should have been William Forsyth bought the phone. So, I mean, people maybe remember that I'm an IT and I have been for a long, long time. And now they cut back to the story.

I got another body cam that they're watching. This dude lays out the fucking best backup plan I've ever heard for anything in IT. Okay. And it's drawn out long. So we're using our cloud backup system because it's already there, but it's drawn out long. So we're using our cloud backup system because it's already there, but it's super mega important that every single one of you remembers

to manually back up your SD cards to both of your designated servers indicated in each of your packs. Get into the habit of doing this as your first task when you return to camp the agreed rendezvous time. If you happen to return to camp before then for any reason, try to remember to make an unofficial backup on servers B1, B2, or B3.

These are just cheap and cheerful precautionary backups, so just throw the files on any of them. Remember, do not overwrite your SD cards. Ever. We brought over 502 terabyte cards. You should be carrying five blank cards in your field packs at any given time. Alongside the card in your camera. Archiving all cards you've used is your secondary mandatory daily task upon rendezvous after manual backup. Holy shit! Do we need to go through all of that?

The music bed is the funniest. Where was this guy in New York City? I know where I could have used them. Carl, what you need to do is back up six terabytes of- Did he say 205 terabyte SD cards? Yeah, I tuned out halfway through his- I think she's 16k video or something. Why would they need that much memory

He's like literally sitting around telling all these people that like they're gonna remember like all that now I'll take you to a terabyte calls and plug them into the two backup systems a b and c Wait, do you say put it on the b2 server Pre getting back to camp or Fuck I should have been writing this down. Damn it. We've hooked into the API. We've wrote a little script that's gonna do it all for you.

So just disregard everything I just said. Go ahead and run the script again. And if the script errors are up, what you need to do is pop it into this and it sent the logs to the corporate server, all right? Use the chatbot if you need help. Never call the number. What the fuck? All right. And then, yeah, something the last one is just ridiculous. It's just

this woman talking again and I thought it was funny. Okay, boomer. Wait, why? Clearly you don't appreciate how sin-noods can be a groundbreaking emergency for the millenia z crowds What the fuck was that? Why do you get so sassy at the end? The set-up there I should have put it in there. So the same fucking IT guy is like we have a satellite phone And it's only for emergencies all right. We had a week and we have a for seven days and No one sent the news and then she was like okay, Bomber Okay, I don't think you're saying hello Anyway, I never got to the end so I I have no clue what the hell is even going on on this.

I just basically know that I got a fucking lesson and how to do backups to servers. Is essentially what I took away from this. But I don't understand who's listening to this show. Yeah, I don't know. I like that. It's so funny because I don't give a shit what happens in this story.

It's nonsensical obviously, but Kevin doesn't even know. If I asked him, so what does that appear? He's like, I didn't get it all. I didn't get it all. That's first thing. I just stuck on the tack talk. I was just stuck on the six terabyte car put inside of a... It's just like a little times.

And then I sound like I'm gonna say, because it gets a shit. All right, cool. Exactly. So the episode was going anywhere. The episode I listened to had a cold open. So this was just a short narrative. And apparently, it's this guy who just broke up with his girlfriend.

And so this is how he's coping with that. See, after my accident, I broke up. I started going for night walks, long aimless strolls around town after dark. A cool night air cleared my head, putting one foot in front of the other gave me a sense of purpose. Well, that's retarded.

Putting one foot in front of the other gave me a sense of purpose. It should show off. It shouldn't give you a sense of purpose. That's, yeah, everyone does that. That's not impressive. Several crippled Jesus. I mean, CJ, we're rooting for you.

But there's other things you can have purpose for in life. You say it's walking at nighttime. All right, so let's find out more about what's happening here. I guess he's, there's nobody around. And then there's this guy who's like motionless in a field that he's walking through And then all of a sudden there's a bunch of people and they're spinning off the ground and they're spinning around in the air He spun through the air with the moths and nightbirds and oh God

There are dozens of them some of them people I knew spinning wildly through the night sky Fascinated I crept closer through the knee high misty grass. All right. This is where I call bullshit if I see people I know another townspeople all floating in the air and spinning I turn around in rot I don't go like hey, what's going on over here guys? Can I join this party here? Did you see the invite? I hope we're so cool. The fuck is that? What's the hell is spinning? What's with all the spinning? Are we dancing? What we got a twist competition going on? What's going on here? And then he puts in these like weird little details into the story.

One of them lifted through the air. Gentle is a floating feather. Then plunge like a swooping hawk. I recognize the face of the bald cashier from the sandwich shop a second before his clawed hand dug into my shoulder. Oh, it was the bald cashier from the sandwich shop. Yeah, who was diving at him. Interesting. Why would you put that detail into it?

The reason is because the next day, this guy who was just attacked by a man who was flying through the air decides, I think I'm going to get a sandwich today. Today in the sandwich shop the bald cash here seemed to have no recollection of what happened during the night. He just probed his neck like it heard him when he rang up my order. I think I'm going to stick to day walks from now on. It's strange red liquid all over. Maybe I'm a pussy, but if a guy from the sandwich shop attacks me at the middle of the night, I go to a different restaurant. I'm going to get tacos.

I've got to say now. Maybe they had good cold cuts. You just lost a customer, sir. So that's going to be what, two gobbago sandwiches right. Oh, my fucking dex really hurts. I feel like I'm a car. I'm spinning and fucking feeling this thing. Good lord.

So he tells this story, he gets away from all of them, but there are all the people in the town are possessed by something and they're flying in the air and they're attacking them. And this is what actually starts the story. I'm going to back up and play the very beginning, the little T's of it. Do you ever wake up sore with no explanation for the pain? How about scratches on your arms and legs with no explanation? Oh, so, friend, this warning might be for you.

So he's implying here that if you wake up sore in the morning, it's not because you slept bad. You know, it's not because your pillow fell off the bed. It's because you probably went out and spun around in the air in the moonlight and attacked me, a ball. Yeah. A downer.

I was skeptic when it comes to this. You were wake up in your ass's sore in the morning. Yeah. And your uncle's shoes are next to your bed. Yes. Yes. All right. I don't want anyone to get you guys too excited at the beginning of the show. So I saved this for this time.

The episode I listened to had a very special guest on it. Someone who had never been on the show before. I think you guys are going to be excited about this. Ash may be familiar to many of you in the UK and beyond. She's currently working as a presenter on the massive YouTube channel playstation access. She's the presenter from PlayStation Access? Shut the fuck up! How do you keep this from me? How do they get her? I don't know. I don't know. It's amazing. Did you ever see her review ratchet and clank? Of course. Amazing. I watched her in a loop. Are you kidding me?

Oh. So that was pretty exciting. All right, I have one more story I want to go through. And what happens in this story is this guy is just sitting on a bench, minding his own business. And he sees this big guy walk over to a woman who's got a baby and a baby stroller. The guy picks up the baby and eats it.

Oh. And this guy walks over to stroller, the guy picks up the baby and eats it. And this guy walks over to him like, hey man, what the fuck are you doing? He's trying to save this baby. As soon as he gets done eating the baby, only this guy who witnessed it, remembers it had happened. Everyone else just goes about their day,

the mom goes, oh, I never had a kid, it's fine. Everyone walks away. So this guy like in front of the dude who ate the baby, he's like, well, dude, what the fuck, you know, you're eating babies and stuff. So the guy goes, oh, you saw that? All right, cool. Let's go get a drink.

I'll tell you about it. So they go down to a bar. I'm not making any of this up. Oh, this is so stupid. I feel like I can write stories like this all day. I wouldn't. I put a preview on my time, but holy shit, it's so stupid.

And it got to take a while to eat a whole baby. It did, it took a minute. Okay. Yeah, yeah, it wasn't like a one golf thing. It took a minute. All right. So then they sit down at the bar and this guy is thinking, like, am I being pranked or something?

They were actors, weren't they? I'm probably already on YouTube's sickest home videos, right? No, that's not a thing. I'm already on YouTube's sickest home videos, right? No, that's not a thing. I'm already on YouTube's sickest home videos. It's not a channel on YouTube, sir I mean you can say you can say pong you can say America's funniest some videos and there's things and I like that Candid camera remember that back in the day Am I the JamieV Kennedy experiment? Right. Alright, so I thought that this is the perfect answer to this question. Why didn't no one remember what you did except me?

Ah, that's what a magic trick comes in. Except not so much a trick part, you see. When I eat a kid, I eat them all. I'm not talking about the meeting parts. I eat everything like Cosmic shit, everything. His first smile is nine months he spent giving his mama heart burn. I even eat the Friday night his mom and pop put Marvin Gaye on the stereo and got it on. You get me? No. That was a pervert answer you get me no None of that made any fucking sense

No What are you talking about you lunatic? So then this guy explains why he does what he does he goes around and eats babies But there's a reason for that all gods creatures got a reason You think a buzzer just loves the taste of all that dead stuff? No. He eats it because it's his watcher collar, his nature. God's own fly and garbage can. See? A buzzer though, he got no brain to speak of. So, he never asks, what am I doing eating this crap? Yeah, but I do have a brain and that reminded me why am I listening to this?

What am I doing? Let's see to the stats that's why would I spend my time with us? You see since Roe V. Wade was overturned. I'm a really busy eating babies all over the place, all right? So basically what he says is he thinks God makes him eat babies because they're all like baby hitlers Like they're gonna they're gonna go on to be terrible people and so he's actually serving a purpose in the world You know how Hitler is like the worst guy ever right? Worst guy ever Gang is con Joseph Stalin Chad Zumak worst guy ever. Ugh. Gang is con. Joseph Stalin, Chad Zumak.

Worst guy ever. I don't know. People like to say that, but, it's even worse. All right, and then I'm gonna conclude this with some really good acting. The way this story ends, Kevin. I got to the end, Kevin.

The way the story ends. Does it have four-cyth muscles to the ending? Put that be amazing. Yeah. Someone should hire you for one of these shows. I would love to hear you. You should put in an application or something. I could do it all.

I could do the stupid southern dirt guy just going on through my, just to bring your car right on through the, all the gates not open. All right, I'm writing a script for Kevin. Okay, we are doing this. I'm going to write a script for you out. We're going to have like five or six characters that you're going to do all of them. Oh, you know, you know what I should do?

I should only send him one part of the time. So he doesn't understand how it all works together and just have him act it all out. And then we'll put it all together and then you'll find out what it was because it won't be in any order you won't know what the story is. Yeah, it's going to read like a Patrick Michael script. Exactly. This is a good idea.

I haven't seen you ready this out producer Chris you think I'm joking about this? No, don't. Don't give me that shit. The evil FOP. That's where we're going. Alright. Now that we have a title. Dude, this is a good idea.

And also it'll give me a week off. More importantly, there we go. I'll get a week off, which would be nice. Alright, so this is the exciting conclusion to my story is that the guy, the reason why he was the only one who remembers the guy ate the baby, she says this guy is also put on this earth to eat bad people. And so this guy eats the guy who ate the baby, and this is just outstanding acting.

Kevin, take some notes here for this new project that we have going in. We'll do. No tier for this new product that we have got you will do What the goddamn job you stupid son of a bitch All right, I'm gonna put in the notes when I have Kevin to read the script guy being eaten actively In quotes do thunder cats villain. Oh, boy. Oh, shit. The other fun thing about this podcast are the trigger warnings. So I saw all of the description,

trigger warning and all caps. But you don't know what that is unless you go to the website and you click the link that is trigger warning and What I found was for the episode I listened to The masks we wear includes child death. That was a trigger warning on this. Yeah, it's like that wasn't a real kid Did even sound like a kid? I mean, I guess that would trigger someone. I don't know and then there's another story that I didn't listen to called There's something wrong with anti-bath and the trigger warnings for that are sexual harassment of a minor,

mentioned of self-harm and domestic abuse. Why didn't I listen to that one? Sexual harassment of a minor? Weird. Yeah. And then all God's creatures got reasons when I just played for you. The trigger warnings were child death and attempted suicide.

Which he doesn't even attempt suicide. He just talks about it. So I went over. And then the last one I didn't listen to, the dancing stone, the trigger warning was child death. So this show had a theme to it, didn't it? They're just fucking killing kids all over the place. Of the show. I'm getting hungry. Kind of odd. A little bit weird. All right, I teased this before. It's time for the. Grinch of the week. Grinch of the week. So this came in from Adam Thoreau. And we actually ended up doing this on the bonus episode

with Dick and Sean this week. It's a show called That's All Funny. And this guy Lorenzo Ari, is the host of the show. And I don't think his brain works, but I really enjoy it. Like, I'm, these episodes are like 12 minutes long and I wanted to keep listening. I always knew a few of them and I just wanted to keep listening.

And here's just an example. It's hard to get short clips because he kind of rambles and just goes off in different directions. That's kind of what makes it fun. But, Kevin, do you know the movie, the other guys? Yeah, yeah, it's a funny movie, right? So if you remember that movie,

there's a gag at the beginning of it where it's like the rock and Samuel Jackson are like the badass cops who fucking can take down anyone and then they die and then it's like, oh, I'll hear the other guys. That's out of the joke. Well, this guy doesn't understand what jokes are. So he's got an idea for a prequel. Now, you probably already know what his idea is going to be, but listen to it unfold the way that he presents this idea. Give him a movie, the movie, the other guys. I had an idea for a prequel to it. You remember that movie with Will Ferrell and This is they mark Mark Walberg. Right Marky Mark

Right, yeah, well if you remember at the beginning of the movie the main characters at the beginning or the rock and Samuel Jackson and They're like these badass cops that go through all this cliche action shit and then they tell each other aim for the bushes and then they jump off a building and die and that's when the movie transitions to the other guys. Will Farrow and Mark Walbert were right. Well the prequel the idea is just an action comedy starring the characters that Sam Jackson and the rock played You know bad-ass detectives with cheesy ass lines and all this action and then you throw Kevin Hart in there because You know it's in the rock's contract to have Kevin Hart and every fucking movie he's in and then you just call it the guys

You know that would be a big ass hit. Everything the rock puts out is fucking gold. And then like, and Zanda is like, it's literally fucking awesome. All pitching movie ideas. I thought a good prequel to the other guys could be like the guys, you know, that gag they did at the beginning, we turned that into a movie. And like I was saying to Dick, I'm like, this is so stupid. He's obviously doesn't get it. And then I thought, no, Hollywood would turn that into a movie. And like I was saying to Dick, I'm like, this is so stupid, he doesn't get it. And then I thought, no Hollywood would do this.

I could see Hollywood actually doing this. Right? The fucking other guy's prequel. You saw where that was going for a mile away, right, Gavin? Oh yeah, clearly, clearly he was a telegraphing where he was going there. This guy's fascinating. Yeah, that's super interesting.

Like the take on that, like, okay, we'll just do a prequel. I'm so fucking stupid. People, if you're not listening to the bonus shows, I don't know what to tell you. There's some of the best episodes that we do. And this whole segment we did, that's all funny. This guy's incredible.

There's a lot of layers here. All right, podcast hitman, Kevin, do you know who Matt Lewinsky is the podcast hitman? Hey, do not. Okay, good, let me get you up to speed. Podcast hitman was a friend of the show. He used to DM me over Twitter, he was at our discord. He would give me a lot of tips about things that Patrick Michael was up to and he'd make a lot of suggestions

He was a big wrestling fan. He would talk to Vinnie about wrestling stuff He he just very involved in the who are these podcasts community Then one day it was discovered that his girlfriend was in his basement for eight months decaying and he was arrested for that And there was a flush missing off her back. We still don't know why that is. But he confessed to strangling her to death and leaving her in the basement until it was finally discovered because the neighbors were like, it stinks over here. Podcasts hitman has sent me a letter from prison. And he sent it to the comedy club. Vinnie has seen it and read it. I'm

like, don't not read it to me. I don't want to hear it. We're going to do it live on the creep off. So Monday, one o'clock is our new time. We do the creep off live on YouTube for anyone who wants to watch. Check that out on the creep off's YouTube channel. Vinnie and I will be on there and I can't wait to find out. I guess this guy addresses a lot of people specifically, he addresses Kroge, Dick Masterson, Trucker Andy, so I don't know what it's all about. We're gonna find out. He also said not to read the letter.

Oh, I'm the heir. Not like, well, as soon as you murder a girl from, I know longer care. Well, that's the other thing too. I wonder if he's still listening to the show. I assumed he wasn't, but I don't know what you can do in prison, I guess you can listen to podcasts. In which case, fuck, I could kill a few years, right?

Yeah. You can use a break. I can get through it. Somebody smuggled this iPod up the rest. So I could listen to the TV. Here's a three terabyte SD card. Make sure to back it up to the prison user. Be one and sound block B2.

All right, so that's fun. I thought I would talk about that. Mr. Magenta sent in a brand new song for us. Gee, I wonder what this is gonna be about. Don't you like my live shows? Ain't I so damn cool? Wait, you can't hear my I got nothing but burgties And fucked up feet My fucked up feet I love them

My fucked up teeth Thank God that shendos and seemed to care New freedom Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, feet, Bartee, Club feet, Bartees I ain't got nothing but Club feet, And jacked up teeth My jacked up teeth, My fucked up feet The Saturday night, we're doing a live show in New York City I'm not gonna fuck up the audio. It's time to sound great Well done, mr. Magenta

Yeah, that was well deserved for me. Wow Wow, we Kazawi at the end of the bonus show dick goes. Oh you guys just did a show in New York kind of that guy I got old boy Boy did I fuck up. The delight in that man's face when I was telling him all the problems that we had, all the fuckers, we were like, he's like, he's fucking a lot of it's still. Yeah, he loved every second of it. Fucking asshole.

All right, speaking of fucking Thursday episode of the Settling John podcast because he's chugging water. He doesn't have to turn on his camera and then chug water. He could chug the water and then turn his camera on, but he can't get that figured out. And then look at his polo shirt, baby. Welcome to the world famous Stuttering John podcast with your favorite world famous host Stuttering John Melendez. How are you everybody? All right, so his shirt is inside out You can see the buttons on the long side his polo shirt is inside out this fucking guy Knack it out of his own way. He's a he's a treat He really is amazing

All right, so then he realizes it and this is funny All right, so then he realizes it and this is funny. This is funny because he realizes it and he decides, oh, I'm not gonna acknowledge it. I'll just, I'll just play it off. Today we have Brian Karen, who I hope is deep into the sauce. He's trying to button it. He's trying to button it. Where's the button? Where's the button?

Yeah, he's always a hell of a lot of fun. Huh? What's up? What's up? What's up? Where's the button? Where's the button? Where's the button?

Where's the button? Where's the button? Where's the button? Where's the button? Where's the button? Where's the button? Where's the button? Where's the button?

Where's the button? Where's the button? Where's the button? Where's the button? Where's the button? Where's the button? Where's the button? Where's the button? Where's the button? Where's the button? Where's the button? Where's the button? the exact same screenshot. We're looking at it. Yeah, I know. I know that that drag is, it might be a photograph.

Now that I think about it, I'm not even sure that it is. Art. Oh, it's amazing. I love that look. Something is a mess. Did you hear him, too? Say he's bringing his guest on. He's hoping he's deep into the sauce.

I didn't understand that at all. I don't understand that. Okay, I don't understand that. Okay, so real quick, we'll get back to the shirt thing, but we have to remember that this is super cast or super chat Thursday. Super chat Thursday, thank you, Andrea, that is true. It is super chat Thursday. So we had super chat Tuesday, super chat Thursday is super chat Thursday. So we have super chat Tuesday super chat Thursday and super chat Saturday

I'm starting to think that that doesn't have any significant. So that is true. It is super chat Thursday and by the way all of this month is give me your money October and We want a few more days before it's donate to me November. Yeah, so guys, please get out my page right I can have my fake goal make that goal donate to me November. Yeah. So guys, please get out my page right. I got my big. Cool. Make that cool. Super champ. I can't unsee the inside out shirt. No. Oh, it's fucking amazing. Just look at it like all the all the seams and everything that are all sticking. I know. We're going to be down in Florida next week and at the content house with

Chrissy Mayor and company. And I guess there's going to be like a costume thing going on. I'm not a big costume guy, as you know, bring the roach costume. Well my wife is going to dress up as sexy studding John. She's already ordered that shirt. She's going to wear it inside out. Sexy stud gel. I'm sorry if I revealed your big secret, but that's going to be, that's a pretty funny idea. I like it. All right. This is neither here nor there. Just John being an idiot. So

John's talking about the Yankees and they're in the playoffs. He's all excited. And someone says they're going to choke and and John's got to come back for that. The Yankees choke like they always do. Let's see, 27 world championships. I'm gonna say this. I'm like choking to me. Six in my lifetime. All right. They've won seven in his lifetime.

He was born in 1965. He's 57 years old. They've won seven worlds. I know how many worlds series that comes in one of my lifetime maybe because the number is one, but still, I would think that he would know it's seven, not six and he's trying to be all smug.

And he's like, oh, they're the best fucking team ever. They've won six in the last 57 years. Like, nothing won seven, John. So was he sleeping during one of the blackout that day? I don't know, anything's possible, but fucking idiot. All right, so then, Jules David, who is know. It's anything's possible, but fucking idiot. All right, so then Jules David, who is Mike David, Redbar's wife, but this is not the real Jules David. This is someone trolling John pretending to be Jules David, which is why John was trying to message

Mike David over Instagram to try to get him on his side to go after Anthony Cumia and then Mike David went out to show him what John, you're a fucking retarget. I'm not talking to you. What are you crazy? So, you know, everyone's making points at Chad. Everyone's hitting threes at this guy. So this is Joel's David pointing out that his shirt is inside out. Joel's David. Yeah, I know what that's to do.

So he is his instincts are always wrong. You know, so she goes, you're sure are always wrong, you know? So she goes, you're sure since I already go, yeah, no, I did that on purpose. But not, but seriously though, I didn't, we wasn't like laughing it off. He's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, all the kids are doing that. Everyone's picking their pants.

It's the coolest. You know, it's like, John, what the fuck is wrong with you? All right. I had come on the front of it. So now this is great because John brings on his guest and you know it starts with the, he's reading the chat, he's getting confused. He brings out his guest and when he decides he's gonna do,

he's got a strategy. He's gonna turn off his screen while his guest is on, pull his shirt off, put it on the right way, put it back on, no one's gonna notice, it's gonna be seamless. The problem is, he forgot to ask his guest a question that he could respond to, so that the guest was talking during this.

So the guest is just standing there like, what just happened? What is going on right now? Uh. And. and And there we go Okay Action with our further ado let's bring on the man when I was in New York

I rebooted my computer twice on stage. He's like rebooting his brain like these like I'm just gonna do a restart give me a second. Yeah. Yeah. It's meditation. Your system started because there was a problem. Do you want to report it? No. I did not save by six terabyte backups. It was a clock. Let's bring in the man, the myth, the legend.

Here he is, Brian, Jay Caram on the show today. Hey, Brian. Hey, how you doing? So, John brings down Brian. Immediately takes him off the screen because he hit the wrong button So now it's just John so then he brings him back What's going on bro nothing much how you doing and now John is gone. Yep What's going on bro and then he leaves and now watch his Brian tries to figure out what to do here

He's just like all right the guy hosting the show is gone. Should I have that called him bro? Yeah, why don did I find it? My green hats, is that what the fun did him? Oh my God, a real uppercut! Give me a gold. Give me your dance, oh my money, bro. Holy shit. There we go.

Yeah, I lost you there, it's shit. Oh, there we go. Yeah, I lost you there. It seems like. Yeah, I don't know what happened. Something. I don't know. The shit always goes weird on me. You're a liar. You're a liar.

You know something that you're not telling us. You slimy scumbag liar. Chad tries to play it off like, oh, yeah, technical problems. You know what happens. Meanwhile, he comes back. His shirt is now the right way, but it's all disheveled. It's all over the place. He must, I would love to see. I was like, oh shit. I'm prepared. I'm prepared. I'm prepared. I'm prepared. I'm prepared. I'm prepared. Must have been fucking hilarious. And then he just fucking lies. Oh yeah, I don't know what happened. It's just, you know, what are you going to do? So now we're 12 minutes

into the show at this point. And John finally buttons his shirt up. It's just, you know, what are you gonna do? So now we're 12 minutes into the show at this point. And John finally buttons his shirt up. It's what he's been wanting to do from the get go. His name is trying to get what he was like, oh shit. Why are we searching those places? Well, maybe search words will be coming for them shortly, but he can't really decide whether or not, I mean, if there's a sub subpoena there's a subpoena and he'll have to live with it. But fucking so.

So Donald Trump can claim the women calling on the absolute most voice in that. You did it Johnny! I knew you could! I knew you could do it! What an idiot! Alright. What this fuck is this dude like putting classes and hats and shit on? What?

I know. That's a thing. He's going over visual gags. This is the guy we were talking about in New York too because he was on his show just last week. And every time that Jon was doing something embarrassing, this guy was putting out his sunglasses like, oh fuck. I don't want to be seen with this asshole.

This is not good. All right. So now here's another example of John not paying attention to his guest. And he does this all the time. The guest is talking, John's fucking with his shirt, he's getting a drink of water. If there's a subpoena in the judge issues it, they'll search. And look, the Donald. He'll need it. Yeah. And I luck the Donald Hill needed.

What do you think's going on in Donald Trump's head right now? I don't know. Have you ever seen a BB rattle around inside of tin can? What the fuck is this? Kevin, it's the worst political show anyone's ever made. And I'm including like six grade UN, whatever the fuck they're doing in elementary schools right now. This is insane with these people are doing.

And look at I'm not on Trump side, but what is going on in Donald's head right now? He's not thinking about you. You're thinking about him. So that's what the, who's Dumber, the billionaire who was the president or the YouTuber who makes $600 a month and had to take all of his videos down because everyone on the internet is clowning him right now.

Every video, this video included is gone. As soon as he gets done recording it, it's gone. You can't find it. He has deleted every, not deleted, probably unlisted, every single YouTube video. He's a joke. You can't operate a shirt. You can't operate a shirt. And he's like, God, that's all the truck guys, such an idiot.

Well, I don't know if you should be the one saying that, sir. Because listen to this, I don't know what, I hate getting to the political parts of these shows, Kevin. But listen to the analysis of a recent debate that John didn't watch, but saw the clips from that some other, I think it was the Lincoln Project or one of these like very left-leaning organizations that puts out propaganda videos, they put together clips to make it look like Rubio lost the debate, and this is John's analysis of it.

I think it's a little... Yeah, I'm gonna tell you, Brian, I watched, I don't know if you got to see any the clips from the Val Demings, the Rubio and Demings fucking debate. She fucking aint him alive. Well, did you expect anything different? Right. Oh my god. Did you see the debate? Right. Oh my god. Did you see the debate? She won.

Yeah, I know. That's the team I've been through for. Of course, of course she won. Good stuff, guys. Is there a whole point? I was an issue that she had a better idea on. Was there anything that she said that you liked? Or she wiped the floor with a damn yeah.

Sure did. I mean, who the fuck is watching this show? For content wise, I often forget that it's a political show. I know. I forget that's the format because no one ever pulls these parts of the show. Right. We never get there. All right. So again, remember, John did this with the sky just last week. Again, he talks about how Rubio tweets out Bible verses and John responds with his own Confucius responses to this. And again, John's proud of himself for the tweet that he put out. Well, I love the fact that she called him out for his Bible verses. I don't know if you

see those fucking things in tweets out. It's like it's hysterical to me And I always tweet back at him Confucius a man who fought in church sits in his own pew and I just So John again is proud of his tweet and think about this is again is something he did not even write It's not funny Brian's not reacting as if that was a funny thing to say. It's childish. But again, John is proud of himself for something that someone else wrote.

I write back these things that are all over the internet. He said he always tweets that back. Yeah, right. Oh, wow. Good. Good. Wow. Surprise.

Rubios even still a public figure. I would think it'd be like hiding under his desk by now. You know, oh, shit. You really got him good with that one. So I right back to him, roses are red violets are blue. All right. So this is Uncle Paul, you know, Uncle Paul is coming. He gets involved. He gets involved with the chat here because John has not done a beer on the balcony in a couple of weeks now. This is what we pay for.

This is the whole point of being a YouTube member or a Patreon member. And you get the exclusive beer on the balcony. Paul Harrogus says, we're gonna do bucks. When's the next beer in the balcony? You know, I supposed to have a guess I was gonna do it today with Greg Prado, and then he had to talk to David Crosby. I mean, who is this guy? Crosby still smashing? Who's that old guy over there? Uncle Paul, Uncle Paul with the creepy old guy there. Uncle Paul. This guy is responding to Uncle Paul as if it's a real person Uncle Paul wants to know where's the beer on the balcony

Sorry, I'll go Paul will get to it. I think I might my guest had better people to talk to you You want to talk to an actual celebrity instead of me, so You had a bad We got to get dorkles in the chat People that he thinks are real Yeah, we're gonna get dorkles in the chat People Fed bases really expand it we had dorkles here Stuck bad fuck guy I like to see how the fuck guy writes his questions to John

his questions to John. Do you know stuff on a song? Let me let me dip my pen in some ink here. Okay, this has to happen. Yeah, just because the way that John would read it back, all matter of fact.

Yeah, I'll be like, oh, oh, I did my pen in the ink. You know, they make pens with did my pen in the ink. Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, why would you have a feather? What's the feather for? All right. You should say that you decide out shirts. We'll hide the little powdered wigs. All right. So John is, and this is the part that the dabblers don't pay attention to,

that no one pays attention to. John is so good at running a talk show because if you think about how a talk show usually works, I watch a lot of talk shows. Bill Mar comes to mind, you know, and Bill Mar has a guest time and they go back and forth. And he asks a question, the guy answers, and then maybe Bill Maher interjects with something and they go back and forth, they have a discussion around it. This is John style of interviewing someone. And yes, I did speed it up a few times here just so we could get through it.

What's your thought about that? I'm sorry. You see, John, that's when you could have changed your shirt. What's your thoughts on that? And that changed your shirt. He could have gone shopping. He comes back, he's got a 12-pack of quarters, that's a doubt. Oh, Brian, you're still here. And the sad thing is that John's getting all the superchets. He provides none of the actual content, if you can call any of this content.

Provides none of it. Just lets us guess, ramble on and on and on. Because John has been a thought in his head. Anyone who's like a real talk show host would have interacted with something as this guy's going on and on. The question was about whether you think the dams will lose the house in the senate in the midterm elections and this guy's going out and out of that and if John was following politics like he should be that's his job now it's not a good paying job don't get me wrong but

he would have something to say in this at some point and he doesn't he sucks I don't say this half it enough John sucked in his job he He's really bad at broadcasting. All right. So then, you see the question here from Baby Yoda. Can you please leave episode, your episode up so I can watch you after work? It's hard to watch live because of work, and I missed Tuesday's show because it was gone. Because like I said, John does the show live on YouTube

and then he unlists it and you can't get to it anymore. Even if you're a Patreon subscriber, we showed down the last show where a Patreon subscriber was going through their Patreon feed and all the videos were gone. You still have all these posts, but you can't watch the video, so it's kind of a rip off. And so John addresses this.

No, and I just like, well, I'm gonna ask you about a few of these races. Baby Yoda thinks it's gonna be five bucks. John, can you please leave up a second watch if you have to work and see what's right because it's where I'm gonna ask you about a few of these races. Baby Yoda thinks it's been a five bucks. John, can you please leave up a second watch, have to work, it's too hard to watch, I have to work, and I'm gonna stay short, cause it was gone. Something's going on, something's going on

with my YouTube, I don't know what's going on, but I don't know about you, but I have so many problems when it comes to YouTube, and just like, just, you know, I gotta, you know, I gotta figure out a different way. You're a liar, You're a liar. You know something that you're not telling us who's slimy, scumbag liar. John's lying.

John is the one who's putting these shows and changing them on listed because he's very upset that Shule is dunking out him over and over and over again. I mean, he's not a fan of myself either, but he is really upset about all the shows that are goofing at him now. And he makes it very clear. He tweets about it all the time, about how proud of it he is. If you're so proud of it, John,

why is all your content gone from the internet? Yeah, he says. Something's going on with my YouTube, like something's going on with my stomach. Like, you know, it's vague. I couldn't ever get to the bottom of it. Yeah, maybe it's my medication. Maybe I need to sleep more. Maybe YouTube's just's vague. I couldn't ever get to the bottom of it. Yeah, maybe it's my medication. Maybe I need to sleep more.

Maybe YouTube's just not working. I don't have it to you. It's a, you know what I mean, right? It's my damn internet. It's my exfinity, my comcast. Yeah. My neighbor's internet. All right, so this is interesting.

There was a big scoop that happened this week. And I'm gonna get into it a little bit here. Michael S. X-Men 5boss going skiing on the K2 summit. I don't even know what that is. Going to be a large mountain, the K2, the second largest mountain world in the Himalayas. Wish me luck. Where he set bill. I've heard a lot about it. Okay. So that person who just put that in there was Michael S.

It has been discovered Tony Michaels who forgets people's names all the time. Who's Anthony Kumi again? Didn't know who Chrissy mayor was what's her name again? Pretend he doesn't remember people's names. He didn't know Kanye. Didn't know who Ye was. He might not know who he is. Because his real name is not Tony Michaels.

It's Michael Anthony Sasnowski. And this is, as you haven't heard about this yet. Okay, muttering J, go to his Twitter page. He's got the full expo say on this. And it's amazing. The investigative journalism is going on and it's because Tony or Michael whatever the fuck your name is You fucked with the wrong person you see and this is what Chad did too

Chrissy mayor is beloved She's the queen of the dabblers the dabblers just keep getting stronger and stronger every day You cannot fight against the dabbers. There's too many of them. You are outnumbered. And so when you say shit and you're like, fuck Chrissy mayor, fuck that ass. Oh really, fuck Chrissy mayor, oh yeah Chad?

Oh yeah, oh yeah, Tony Michaels. Well, the reason why that person wrote about the K2 summit and the spice. Apparently back when he was Michael Sasnowski, that person wrote about the K2 summit and the spice. Apparently, back when he was Michael Sasnowski, he was busted in a synthetic marijuana drug dealing ring. That K2 shit, it's like baths on whatever it is, like really bad for you.

This guy who's like, nugs not drugs on his coffee mug, the whole, wholesome like family guy guy, was a drug dealer and was arrested for it. See, it's, it's fascinating because the people who yelled at us on the internet have the most to hide. This guy's down there going, fuck you, fuck you, I'm the fucking shit, you don't know shit about dick,

like, well, I know more about your past than you want me to. And now we all do, you fucking asshole. And he also has this other business, there's a lot more that I don't care as much about in there that, that, muttering J uncovered, at muttering J, and I'm Twitter, but it's fascinating.

It is fascinating, I don't think our buddy Suthering John knows this yet, but it's not surprising to me that he associates himself with criminals who act like they're fucking better than everyone else. Yeah, not surprising. No surprise there. At all.

So. So the dabblers, they don't dabble. Dude, there's no dabble in going on by the dabblers themselves. They've actually got their shit together, which is really funny. All right, this is, uh, this isn't, you know, once again, is, this isn't, you know, once again, someone calls out John for lying. And John just keeps putting this shit up on the screen, but this one shows up for just one second.

So this clip is the entire time you see this comment on the screen. What, oh. All right, John, are you claiming you didn't intentionally make your YouTube vids private? So that's a $5 Canadian, um, you know, a super chat. And John puts it up there and then immediately goes, Oh, shit, got to get rid of that. Because he's lying. Yeah.

He knows he's lying. It's obvious. Oh, we all know he's lying. It's very obvious. So I thought that was kind of funny. And then, um, Jules David again, once again, is concerned about the fact that she's a YouTube member and she can't watch any of the YouTube videos. So if you pay five bucks a month on YouTube, Kevin, you should get access to all of his videos,

including his beer on the balcony. But apparently, they're gone for even people who are paying them on YouTube. Jules, thanks for the five bucks. Yeah, I'm working on this. Something's with YouTube right now. I don't know what it's. You're a liar.

You're a liar. You know something that you're not telling us you slimy scumbag liar. Yeah, just a fucking liar. All right, but the good news is he's going to make for all these misbearing the balconies, but I will I'll make it up to all my Patreon people. I'll do two five and do two and one day. I'll be having a bag by the second show, but it might be fun. Yes, I agree. It might be fun. Please do two beer on the balconies in one day. I'll be your guest. I don't give a shit. I'll kill that one. That'd be fun. Let's do that. So look at that. What a fucking train wreck. It's it's it's it's been off the rails for a while, but it's still going somehow. It's like, what

is even propelling this thing anymore? Yeah. How is this thing being propelled? Lies. Good thing when it crashed. It was going downhill. It's just going and and go on. It's fucking amazing. And oh my God, someone made a chickie McSpyce Pringles container. Fuck Tony Michaels. What an idiot. All right, this is the last clip I have from John's recent episode on Thursday. And he ends the show by telling you you have to get out there and vote. And Kevin, you know how important voting is, obviously. But I sure do. This election, you know how important voting is, obviously.

But I sure do. This election, it's more important than ever. Get out and vote. As Brian said, we have to go out and vote because everything depends on us. This is the most important election of our lifetime. What? The most important election of our lifetime? Is that even possibly true?

What's he talking about? The midterms of Joe Biden's presidency are the most important elections of our lifetime? Guys, I might sleep out that too, say I don't know. My calendar's full, I don't know. I don't find it to be all that important. Even more important of a vote

than pick the new Mountain Dew Flake. That was one, and that was a turning point. It was a turning point of a talk about. I regret not voting that year. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. All right, I want to make an announcement.

We're going to start doing a separate show that's just Stuttering John videos, but it's only for Patreon members who donate $2,300 per month to NewTRM developing. So if you give me $2,300 per month, and we'll probably up it each month from there, you can give us more and more, then you can get that content.

And it'll be like one show a month, maybe a half a show a month, so that's an announcement to check that out. Cool. Yeah, we could spin a wheel for how much people pay. That's a good idea too. Yeah, 2300 would be the minimum. You'll hold the land at 2300. Bankrupt.

That's why you get rich quick scheme. We're talking about doing a live show with Uncle Rico coming up in probably February? So we'll talk about that. Also we announced the bonus show that we're going to probably do a WATP, the DIC show, crossover live event, because I'm so good at them. Pride is makes perfect. All I said to DIC was, I go, yeah, well let's do it, but I'm not the AV guy, I have this one. All right, I'm fucking, I'm just gonna sit there.

Anyway, we're thinking about Philly. There's a lot of interest in Philly, I know that Dick has a big fan base there and a lot of people told us to come to Philly, but if you have a suggestion where we should go, and I don't know when it's gonna happen, but if you have a suggestion about the WTP Dixho live show, let me know because we're still considering

where we might wanna go for that. Don't say Gary Indiana, everyone says. Yeah, it's not a good joke. It's not a good joke. There's no hotels there. I know it's making a business trip to Gary Indiana. So we've documented on this show that Chad Zumock is not good at stand-up comedy.

Yeah. He's not good at podcasting. But what about sketch comedy? Maybe he's good at sketch comedy. So I went ahead and grabbed a sketch that he recently posted. I think this is old. I think this is a pretty old, but he recently posted it again, because he's very proud of it.

And let's check it out. Kevin, you're a big fan of Sketch Comedy, right? Oh, I love it. Yeah, okay. Pretty next to Improv. Yeah. That's not a sarcastic. I actually do love Sketch Comedy.

I'm a big fan. Are you allowed to say please clap in the middle of the sketch? That was the funny joke, everyone. Okay, okay, Chad, if you say something, dude, was that the most embarrassing thing? When I was talking to Vity on the phone, he listened to the episode, everyone. Okay, Chad, if you say something, dude, was that the most embarrassing thing? When I was talking to Vity on the phone, he listened to the episode, he was like, I can't believe he said, please clap

at the middle of his fucking standup show. Oh no. It's on my list of drops that are the permanent. Oh, Chad, you're terrible. Oh, he emailed me by the way, I should say. Chad emailed me and he said, keep talking about me. He goes, keep talking about me, Carl, I'm like, all right, I guess.

I don't normally take orders from Chad, but in this case, I'll oblige. He goes, keep talking about me because what happens is, people come to my shows and then they love it so much, they become a fan of mine. Right. Oh, okay. You're creating investors.

Yes, right, exactly. All right, Chad, if you want to pretend that's reality, I'll play a long game. fan of mine. Right. Okay. You're creating investors. Yes. Right. Exactly. Like, all right, Chad. If you wanted to pretend that's reality, I'll play a long game. Hey, he was popular in high school, man. Yeah. He did peak in high school, which is, I know that if you want to be a success in life, you

want to peak in high school. Yep. That's always the best way to do it. Yeah. He's not still the cutest, but he was. Mm-hmm. It's all the matter. It's class cutest.

Leave that one out. Chad, good dark. All right. You guys ready for some fun? cutest, but he was. The cutest class cutest. Leave that one out. Chad, the dork. All right. You guys ready for some funny sketch comedy? Let's go. By the way, this is funny because he's pretending in this sketch that he's dating a girl. So that's a pretty funny premise right there.

It's not bad. All right. Let's see what this is called. Will you marry me? And the hashtags are sit down, zoom-ok, rackum, and all caps, Chad zoom-ok. All people are definitely searching on that hashtag. It's got 63 views, seven likes. All right, Chad, I'm gonna get your numbers up here

for you, buddy. Let's go. Will you marry me? Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Chad, you know it's been my dream as a little girl Will you marry me? I'm a child. You know, it's been my dream as a little girl to have a big beautiful wedding in Napa Valley where my parents were married. I know.

I want to make that a reality with the girl I love. And my dream honeymoon in the Bahamas? I couldn't be happier right now. I will buy my parents house down by the lake, where we'll start our family. We'll name her Sarah. Oh, and of course, we'll have to have a boy because it's only fair. Oh, but with two kids and only two bedrooms,

we're gonna need a bigger home. You following this so far, Kevin? This is riveting. Yes, it's serious going on with this. He's proposing to her, and that's also to be living their whole married lives out during the proposal. So that's the premise here. It's like, I was like, oh, okay, yeah,

but this is how our whole lives are gonna go. I only hope that this sketch ends with him kneeling in a pile of shit that he didn't realize he was kneeling in. Well, it's funny you say that because normally for any good sketch you need like a punch line to pay off. You need something at the end that goes nice, nailed it. We're out.

And I'm dealing in shit would be something that you could do. And that'd be for kind of funny. Right. That's not gonna happen. We should buy property down at the Rockwell Golf Course. We're Danit and Steve Lew. Oh, that sounds great. Will you marry me?

Oh, but there's no way that I can work a full-time job and take care of two kids. So money is gonna be tight. I mean, with the new home and saving for Ben and Sarah's college. We're, and the fact that you don't make any money, Chad, because you're a loser. Really gonna have to reel it in.

That means no more bowling league for you or golfing on Saturdays. I mean, we simply can't afford it. Wait a second. Okay. Chad has no charisma. The, he's having these reaction shots, where he's rolling his eyes and he's trying to act. And he's just not good at this at all.

Listen, if I could only have girls night once a month due to our budget, it's not fair for you to go out twice a week with a bowling league and golfing all goddamn day on. She's selling it. I'll give it to her. I don't know if they chose the best side for her, you know, they could have done that from the other angle, but she's selling it. I'll give it to her. I don't know if they chose the best side for her, you know, they could have done that from the other angle, but she's selling it. Saturday's when you should be home with your family. It's one day out of the week. You think working all those hours is going to be fun for me? I'll wish I'll have a day off, but you know what I'll be doing. I'll be taking care of the house and the kids and don't let me bring

up the dog that will probably get that you'll probably nickel. Yep. So they're having a fight. That's like if they've been married for a while and have a family. You've still following this. Yeah. It's a good stuff. A lot of wolves. Probably be out there busting my ass working 50 hours a week providing for my family. We can't family day on Sundays. I've had it with you Chad. Seriously, it's always about you. It's always been about you. Actually, she's got some points there. That's pretty good. About me.

And with you working all those hours, oh my god, you're... Oh, as fucking reactions are infuriating, I know. Look at this fucking ass. Overact. What? What? What? It's always been about you. What about me? And with you working all those hours, oh my god, we're never gonna surprise you with dinner or flowers. It's just gonna...

I haven't been pointing out how poorly written this is. It's poorly acted and poorly executed. It's not funny. These jokes do not weigh. There's nothing in here that's funny. It's all just cliche shit. Be work, work, work. That's all it's gonna be. That's all it's gonna fucking be,

Chad. You know you're something else, Tara. You really are. Oh my God. I thought about it. And I want out of this marriage. I'm smart. Still on one knee asshole. We're not even on the same page. We've grown apart. What the fuck is wrong with you lunatic?

Don't talk to me like that. Nobody talks to me like that. You know what? I've had it Chad. And you know what? My mom was right about you. You're a real piece of shit. Fuck you. No, fuck you. You'll be hearing from my lawyer. Go ahead. I'll see you in court, bitch. And just for the record, I will never ever propose marriage to you again.

Ooh. Wait, well that was the end? Yeah, Kevin. That was the big path. that was the end. Yeah, Kevin. That was the big path. That was the joke. Yeah, that's terrible. I'll see you in court, bitch. And by the way, some of the jokes in there were funny. Like, fuck you.

No fuck you. That's pretty good dialogue. Yeah, classics. Jesus Christ. Chattas. No comedic chops at all. At least at the end of that video was just a cop coming by and going, do you have a permit to shoot this sketch here in the park?

Like it's just, it's just not getting in trouble for actually. Yeah, the move along, move along. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, well, look it. So Chet is not good at podcasting. He's not good at stand up. He's not good at sketch comedy. He's not good at sketch comedy. Maybe he's good at roasts.

He was on the Kevin Brennan roast. I think that when we have Blind Mike on the show coming up the midweek show, we'll check that out. Yeah, break it down. Yeah, maybe he'll be good on that. Because he seems like he's kind of like a dick. Maybe he'll be good at like telling people they suck. Oh, is he good at credit card scams?

Yes, well, no, actually no. He got busted for that. Yeah, he didn't get away with that one. He actually planned very poorly on how to use those stolen credit cards. Now that I think I'm not- He's probably better at it in high school. I bet he was.

I bet he was. Maybe that's why he was so popular. Yeah. Now I think about it. All right, I gotta bring our review girl. I see Hannah is here and I wanna play to catch a dabble. Yay. And I can't, I can't catch a dabble without Hannah,

obviously. Hannah, what's happening? Hey, not much. Hey, it looks like it's a nice sunny day there. It is, it's really sunny. No, I can see the sun coming in. I can see exactly where the sun's coming in. It's your room. It looks real sunny. It's good. All right. So, uh, 3.31. It's a good time this time of year to pick up on you. All right. You're

right. That's how I'm pretty sure that's got 3.31. All right. Let's, uh, let's catch a dabble, shall we? It's time for everyone's favorite game show To catch a Dabler oh shit. I'm ready to play not not ready to play to catch a dab. I just saw Vic showing up. Hey Hey, Vic. Hello Vic is wearing a very big sweater, so take a- It's comfy. Take a point off of Vic's score right now, all right?

You're playing from behind already, Vic. All right. All right. No. Chicach, a dabler. Hold on, I gotta restart this whole thing. I can't play the show without hearing if I'm ready to catch a dabler now. You girls go away away come back in

Let me just change my shirt It's time for everyone's favorite game show To catch a Dapler are you ready to play? to catch a Dapler And I'm so sick of my to cash a downward. And I'm so sick of my Republican friends who go, well, both parties lie. Now, no, no.

Nobody lies as much as the do-tard and his minions. Never in politics has anybody lied this much. So stop it already. I'm so sick of hearing. Well, they both lie bullshit Not nearly as much as this. This is just this is a this is ridiculous. How much these ass wipes lie? So stop it Stop trying to like I mean like I hate when they do this. Oh, well, they both lie. No, no. We all know who's lying at a much greater pace. And that's the Republicans, Kelly Loffer.

You're going to lose anyway. Geez. Oh, I didn't know he ever said, grabbing by the pussy. Get the hell out of here. Come here. Mother, I was waiting for that. What did John say next? Here are your choices. Number one, I know you're not supposed to hit a woman, but when you're lying and you're a Republican, I think it's okay. Be, you knew.

Stop lying. You knew, all right. And we know you knew. So stop it. Next, someone should grab you by the pussy. All right? That is if you still have one

for Trump lies, you know, for personal gain. Democrats lie only when they have to and to help people know the lies. Lastly, Republicans always lie. How do you know when a Republican is lying? His lips are moving to cash. A doubt word. All right. I originally thought it was gonna be number one. I'm gonna go with number five. I know I've heard him say this joke before. It's such a cliche thing. It's something that John would do. So I'm not even picking the one that I think is the funniest. I'm actually trying to win the game. I'm going number one, Kevin. What do you think?

Or I mean, number five, lips are moving. Kevin, what do you think? Yeah. I think number one right off the bat was the was the winner here. Yeah. All right. What do you think, Beck? I'm going to go with five as well. Oh, wow. It's a very old man cliche. It is. Yup. Maybe probably think it's clever. And?

Hand of the dogs are barking. I know. What are you trying? What do you got? I'm gonna go with the second one, because he's tripping all over his words and getting worked up. Okay. Good rationale there and producer Chris.

As soon as I heard five I wrote it down I think it's five all day interesting. Okay. I'm looking in the discord We got some threes. We got another two. We got a four. All right. All the bases are covered. Let's go I mean like I hate when they do this. Oh well, they both lie now. No We all know who's lying fly. Now, no, we all know who's lying at a much greater pace. And that's three publicans, Kelly Loffer. You're gonna lose anyway. Geez. Oh, I didn't know he ever said, grab him by the pussy. Get the hell out of here. Come here. Mother. You knew, stop lying. You knew stop lying you knew

All right, and we know you knew Stop it. Is that ever two? Yep, that's all for this week. Wow Hannah To find out if you are man enough to catch Adabler I'm gonna give Hannah three points. All right, she came in with two and then she got a third one with that victory. Congratulations, Hannah. You are the winner. Thank you. Have you both met my friend, Kevin, before you have? And I should have introduced you all. I haven't met Kevin yet. This is Kevin, Kevin, Vic and Hannah. Hi, I review girls. I feel like every time you have a mom, Carl, carl you just you're just showing him how much

Better you're doing without him, you know, is that what I'm doing? Yeah Yeah, I miss cober commander Where is cober commander these days He ain't making as much on Patreon as my former co-host. But, like, Kevin's like, I'm not sure fucking dancing. He's saying it in there. He's saying it in there. Yeah, you know.

All right. Guys, what have we done today? We've done it all. We talked about the No Sleep Podcast, which never disappoints. These theater of the mindset, we haven't done this in a long time. I enjoy them. We should do that more often. We talked about Lorenzo Ariola.

That's all funny, very interesting podcast. Podcast Sitman will be reading his letter on the creep off. Mr. Magenta had another stellar song parody setter and jumping on a shirt backwards. Pretend that he didn't realize it. Chad Zumox, not good at comedy. Hannah's able to catch a dabble or no one else So they're gonna jump it on a shirt backwards, pretend that he didn't realize it. Chan Zumax is not good at comedy. Hannah's able to catch a dabler, no one else says.

You know what that means? It's time for everyone's favorite part of the show. Long chance, thanks, Rich. We actually just did it. The teaser. The teaser. The teaser. The teaser.

And let's keep in mind that we are still in Jacktober and so we will have another radio show. Oh, there we go. Well done, Vec. Well, I don't know what happened. All right. All right, this is a clip of the podcasts or radio show. They will be reviewing on this upcoming episode of Who Are These Podcasts.

Unfortunately, what you are about to hear is real. The members of this radio program are simply not that great or what some people would call educated. They are merely stupid. They're not trying to offend anyone on purpose and all have played doctors on TV. You have been warned and are culturally invited to join the party. This is the men's room.

Forget it, man, and get with the countdown. Get with the countdown. Shake this trail well, and blast off a kick-bill. All sorts. The fritters, the grasshoppers, the Hip-Whip. All gathered in secrecy, and flying high as a kindness. This is the Men's Room, with miles and thrills. You know what they say?

Shake your radio more than three times, and you're playing with it. You're listening to the lemon's room. Wow! Wow! It's all on us! Hello, everybody. Welcome to season 17 episode number 3,777. Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! I'm in the show. I'm in the show. I'm in the show. I'm in the show. I'm in the show. I'm in the show. I'm in the show. I'm in the show. I'm in the show. I'm in the show. I'm in the show. I'm in the show.

I'm in the show. I'm in the show. I'm in the show. I'm in the show. I'm in the show. I'm in the show. I'm in the show. I'm in the show.

I'm in the show. I'm in the show. I'm in the show. I'm in the show. I'm in the show. I'm in the show. I'm in the show. I'm in the show. I'm in the show. I'm in the show. I'm in our market. Have you ever heard of this show? The bedroom? No. Yeah, it's on one of our FM stations. I think it's on down here too.

Yeah, it's over the place. Let me read you the description of this show because I feel like you guys are nice into this as you should be. The bedroom was born one evening in a dark bar during an argument over Tater tots. Months later, after all jail time had been served, all that was left was the community service.

In a fortunate turn of events, the judge sentenced the crew to an outreach program for troubled alcoholic loud mouths. The rest, as they say, is history. The party has been raging ever since, and you're all invited. If you want to learn more, just tune in to the rock from two to six weekdays. If you want to know where you can find our beers like the men's room red, check out the men's room beer finder. These guys are wacky alcoholics.

I can relate. They have their own beer. What was it going? Yeah, I guess men's room red. Yeah. That wasn't well thought out men's room. I don't want a beer from the men's room read. Yeah, that wasn't well thought out men's room. I don't want to beer from the men's room. Doesn't sound appetizing at all.

All right. So that's what we're going to do coming up. Guys, this has been a great show. Kevin, anything you want to promote my friend? No, nothing here. Just hanging out. Well, Vic was on our show this past time and I never got to her plugs and I feel bad. So Vic, what are you going on? I have a roast battle at Cossy's comedy club at 7 p.m. tomorrow.

Oh, it's Sunday night roast battle. Yeah, it's really weird, but we're dressing up in costumes. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Do you want to watch football and go down there? Yeah, let's go. Chris, we leave now. Get there in time.

All right. What's the name of the venue again? Cazie's Comedy Club. It's the longest comedy club running in Virginia. And that's in Newport news, Virginia, I believe. All right. And so who are you roasting, everybody? Cosby's. Well, it's like a, it's like a bracket. So the first guy's, his name's Barry B. He's just like a big fat

guy. She puts the, she puts the rack in bracket. See what I did there. She puts the she puts the rack and bracket. See what I did there. Yeah, I was awful. I know. I was looking at your boobs. That's why I came up with that. Just keep going. Yeah, he's just like this big fat black guy who smokes too much. And then there's like five other versions of him and then one other lady. This shit writes itself. Look at this guy. He's being fat like guy. Am I right people? Now you go. Well, that's exciting, Vic. I am rooting for you. I hope people come down and cheer you on. Yeah, I should have one person from the podcast coming. Yes, someone reshows to me. They say, I'm going to go see Vic's comedy show because

you're always there. What Thursday nights? Yeah, Thursday nights. You always do a show Thursday night. So someone actually reached out to me, so I'm going to go to Vic show and I never got a chance to talk to you about it, but you didn't meet a listener. Yeah, she left you a drunk voicemail. Okay. And she was really upset you didn't play it. Yeah.

She told me fuck Carl, I hate him so much. Well, tell her to call again. Okay. It's funny when the people are really drunk on the voicemails, I always think, they're not going to remember they did this. So it's no problem. I are really drunk on the voicemails, I always think they're not gonna remember they did this so it's no problem. I just want to play it. You know, that's how I feel.

I can make a stupid phone call and we can say, I don't think I was going, oh shit. Whoops. Look at my set. All right. So, very good. Tell me who's promo code Cont. Han anything you want it from out? Yeah, there's this podcast.

I'm not involved in it, but it's called the creep off. Yes, the creep off. Someone's gonna promote it. Hey, actually, promote the creep off of it. You did it. You did. And that fucking weasel Vinnie Paulino. You know what he said?

What? Oh, we should read Matt Lewinsky's letter on a Patreon episode. I can't, Vinnie, no vent venting now come on come on man We're reading them the show You know we're reading out the fucking show chouly. I mean Vinnie. What are you doing? All right, it's all about the business ticket. Yeah, I know you think he was just a comedian want to make jokes now It's all business with them. It's a curl. What's your spreadsheet gonna get here? I'm working on it It's all business with them. It's a curl. What's your spreadsheet gonna get here? Oh, I'll work it on it video

That's not actually what happens Please join us again next time and maybe the episode we found out what's for a who are these podcasts? Sleep well every pony Okay great show good job everybody great job everyone Okay, great show. Good job everybody. Great job everyone. With Lucy Taikbox. Regarding our New York City show, Wapio comments, Nice save. You must not have hired producer Chris off Craigslist. His laptop had a charger and or the right batteries. Dr. Steve, well done Carl, this turned out to be enjoyable on several levels. Almost as if you were playing 4D chess. Actual Typhian, good on you for getting a bat, Carl.

No stupid fucking blabbermouth, con-siammarine over the show like in Detroit, either. Getty leaves thumb on episode 353. Oh look, it's the return of the much-sex Carl I've figured many girls hamburger. Whiskey on witchcraft. Poor girls. Probably would've been more enjoyable for them if he used his origami feet. So a Bahar asks, is Kaya a virgin? Baby butters opines?

Kaya definitely doesn't like women, so maybe, gangrenestly has a cool idea. Chad and Ash from the Fat Lips should do a heavy breathing contest to see who passes out first. That would be so cool, so so cool, because Chad's a cool guy, and that's what cool guys do. Speaking of cool, Dan and the Facebook group asks, what clicked a Carl run in in high school, or better yet, what club was he in? John C. Answers, Chest Club, second Friday of every month, all the male faculty members

would lay him down and beat off onto his chest. From YouTube, Echo writes, Carl has a lot of balls doing this podcast in New York City. According to John, there's a lot of people in New York who ain't too happy with Carl. Ross offers an interesting idea. I would pay to watch SJ watch this. Rocking and his seat, pacing, shouting at the screen with Spittle coming out. This is the most unique concept for a comedy podcast. Cady Daddy Riffs Confucius says, man who identifies as progressive shouldn't be making Confucius

jokes in 2022. Different John comments, how great a comedian is Chad Zumak when I had to Google him to find out who he was. Maddie Boy Anderson, I was popular in high school. Oh no, this is something you never say, it's like a white flag on a stick in an argument. Michael Blaine, Chad single-handedly ruined the word cool. It's been going strong since the 50s, and now it's over. Sixth String Man, if you want to know about cool, you got a rock of captain's hat at all

times and be as douchey as possible. Shell Back's Club, I think we've found our new dabler. Welcome to the Club Chad. An Anthony plays us out with. Chad is coped out of his mind, or he's recording this with a drooling bulldog on his left. Or could be both. Oh boy, the people on the internet are much funnier than Chad Zubak I noticed.

I like that, I appreciate it. Thank you to Lucy Taipbox and the old crew that puts our net news together. Always appreciate that. Do we have any new reviews to read, ladies? Yes. You have three since the last episode. OK.

Is Hannah going to read any? Do you guys coordinate this at all? How is this going to work? I think Hannah's broken right now. It's hard. It's wow. Hannah's got dogs barking probably in the background. I know.

I don't. The computer froze up. Something's wrong with it. Oh, where's Robon Hannah? This is Robon Hannah. Gone forever. That's too bad. I'm not really, oh, sorry, go ahead. Do you have reviews to read?

Or are we just going to let Vic do it today? No, I'll do one. Okay. Okay, this one's called Carle is a Hater by Hillary's Hitman. Podcast is unfunny. The host is a smile talking Eftsler who complains about some has been radio star and is scared that Ralph makes more money and can run a faster mile. Run a faster mile, that's pretty good joke.

I'm going to guess that's a five star review. It is. Nice. I'm liking it. We're getting a lot of positive reviews lately. I'm not sure what I'm doing to make that happen. This next one is a trigger warning by oh my god Clay Akin. He says, host or racist in Hobo Fobick, the only guest host I like is Crotch. He seems woke. They spend too much time making fun of one of the legends of comedy Stuttering John. The only thing this podcast is doing well is a great audio at their love love shows. I think they're live. Yeah, I think they might live on that one.

It seems sarcastic to me. That review. I'm going to say it's a five-star review. That is a five-star. We're killing it. We should start doing love shows though. I'll do a love show. Cool. Yeah. You and Vinnie? As long as tits are involved. Yeah.

That's fun. All right. That's fun. This last one's horrible show by TRG lover. He said this show is so racist and transphobic that it's a joy to listen to. Keep up the good work, Carl. And by the way, your live show audio is awesome. It did turn out pretty good.

In the end, in the end, you weren't even there, Beck. You didn't even know how big of a fuck up it was. Holy shit was out of the buckle. Um, is that a five star as well? It is a five star. It happened to know what our numbers are right now as far as five stars as one star. A 105 stars over your one star. Holy shit. Can you believe that? We have rebounded.

I can't believe any of this. Not a big size. I can't believe you have two females. I can't believe you have two females that are going to need to come to show that there's artwork of them in the background of Chris. Chris is even here. Yeah, completely clabbergasted. Well, if it makes you feel anybody, everyone's under duress. This is, I'm forcing everyone to do all of this. No one is here because they want to stop camera. No one is here voluntarily. That I could promise here.

Vic, what's the update? Kevin, wait, wait, wait, hear this. Vic, what's the update on the titty picks? We're going to put on Patreon. What's going on? Um, next Sunday, they will be out and ready. I thought you were going to shoot that, like yesterday. What happened?

No, listen, I have to get my hair done. My roots are coming in bad. Yes, I was actually going to suggest that. I'm still a woman car. I love it. I love it. All right. Good. Let the people wait. They can wait another week. I can wait another week. That's great. Next Sunday on our Patreon, Topless Picks of Vic. If this that worth five bucks about I need to raise our rates. I think five bucks. a steve twenty three hundred twenty three hundred the new here the new here for who knows package

let's listen to some voice man's let's get the fuck out of here you know i have to say with how it's done you know you've got to have all that a lot can self-imagine and then you've picked off at you because you left your house but he was really on people like me who delivered this shit to his house so he can live But I'm an asshole for leaving my fucking house fuck you Howard. Okay This is a very good point because people like Howard who I you're crazy

Why did you leave your house? He's yelling at his staff all the time for leaving their house But if everyone did what he's doing he would die Yeah, because food needs to be delivered if things need to still be But if everyone did what he's doing, he would die. Yeah. Because food needs to be delivered. If things need to still be exported and moved about the country, and people need to do that. And Howard's like, well, yeah, fuck those people. They can of course deliver food to my house.

But you know, you're crazy if you leave your house otherwise. Like, yeah, it's kind of hypocritical. You're kind of a douche. But I guess we already do that. It's nothing to do. All right. Hey, Carl last week from Guy left a voicemail asking if you could give him the number of that guy who wanted to eat a burrito while getting his ass sucked or sucking his ass while eating a burrito. You're not going to believe this. I just saw that guy getting his ass sucked while eating a burrito. Small world world anyway, you're not a cunt. Don't call me back. Wait. Oh God damn

Wow, what are the chances of that so many coincidences happen out of this show. It's really as remarkable All right, this is for you, Vic First off, what do you call for just everything? Secondly, I'm here. calls these with big. You fucking awesome her stand up is the best. Don't fucking joke her. Also, you know, call it back. But oh, wait, I did play her voice, Mal. You did.

Oh, shit, look at that. You know what the problem was? Is that I was a week behind. We didn't do any voice spells at the live show. And I didn't, I had to go back last night and find out the old one. So there you go. It turns out I did play her voice, Mal. She kept live show. And I didn't, I had to go back last night and find out the old one. So there you go. It turns out I did play her voice spell. She kept it short.

So I appreciate that. So that's your new friend, huh? Is she hot? She's mid, but I'm fine. So you're saying like a five or a six, right? Like a six? Yeah. She looks like a housewife.

Oh, would you eat her asshole? No, I need a route but not a wrestle. Okay, did Did Chrissy get ducked the by the way to do the Good good. Are you scheduled yet? November 6th Look at this Vinc is now doing Chrissy's show. Oh, that's cool. Yeah. No shit soon. Chris are pretty masked producing a real show. Oh, that's cool. Yeah. No shit. Soon, Chrissy will be producing a real show.

Yeah. I won't be here anymore. It's all good, all good stuff. All right. Chip Chipper said likes to call in from time to time. I always appreciate that. Hey, call it. Chipper.

All right, that's not a reason I'm talking to the army major the other day. What if he talked to a non knobby minor instead of something? Fuck yeah, call me back, bro. That's a military humor, back. What do you think? Oh, it's fantastic. Pretty good. Pretty good stuff. All right. Have you expected the Masterbait to show with no sound?

You dummy. I didn't realize you were best at me through our live get a good one. You're coming. I didn't realize you were besting me through our live shows. All right. Good to know. I'll keep that in mind.

Hey, Gary from San Diego called in. Now again, this was, this is like over a week old because we did the live show and I think it caught up completely on the voicemails for the midweek show.

Hey, Carl. Gary from San Diego. Well, I'm checking every day John Zillow account to see what that house sold for. Members had a contract under offer accepted. Yeah. And all of a sudden on October 16, it says the house is for sale. It appears that the contract that John signed to sell his house fell through and looks like there's no more sale. So, he's sitting on a property in Canoga Park, but it's for sale once again.

And the estimated value is $3.99. But who knows? Anyway, too bad for John. I'm just saying we're gonna hear too bad for John. Whoopsie. Yeah, I think I mentioned this on the show, but I have an inside source that told me that John's realtor wants him to lower the price

and John refused to do that. Because I can only imagine what this place smells like. This open house is supposed to be redigga. There's none of the forbrees in the world. You're gonna get someone through an open house in this place. So I don't know. It's a realty, you have to disclose when someone dies in the house.

It's true. There's ethics to it. Someone's career dying in that house. It's true. There's ethics to it. Someone's career dyno that I was. All right. Band pride. This guy was at our live show. Yeah. But I just don't go out of New York show. Where's great? My favorite part was a 25 minute abyssalation of Surrey John's kid you did. I loved it. They are reading of mine coughs with a little strange, but you know, you do you. But I don't really, everybody will hear this audio soon.

Go on in back, come fix your fucking computer first. All right, thanks, bad for out this guy. Thanks for joining us in New York. I always love seeing bad for out this guy. It always cheers me up when he's at our live shows. That was great. He is, he is great. He made those jackalanners of me and Vinnie

and the creep off logo. You know, I saw those, I never found out who did it. Yeah, favorite is guy did those. Oh, it's fucking great. And I thought maybe he had like software or somebody who does it by hand. Oh. I know.

Fucking impressive. Those are sitting in the studio over at the comedy club and I should steal mine because it's almost Halloween and I should put it out front, scare off the kids. Yeah. Yeah. It's just he children's squirting from outside. Alright. Carly, you just said I have fingered plenty of checks.

I just want to know who the fuck are these 60 fingered? I don't know why that's so funny. This is fucking hilarious. I don't know why that's so funny. This is fucking hilarious. I don't know why. Maybe you can hear it in the door. I don't know. Keep fingering, buddy.

Ha ha ha ha. You have no idea. I know I knew I knew I was going to get three spots and I got from that. I thought it was like matter of fact, because the girl was just like, oh, this guy with a small dick just like getting fingered. It's great.

Girl's not like getting fingered as much as they're like, getting fucked. And I went on the idol, and I was just like, the girl's not like a fingering chick, so. I got a new t-shirt, it says, no. No.

Oh, she's doing it. Kevin, you turned into a robot, buddy. A pop robot. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I have got dipped my finger in many of Moans Venus. Oh, gates of Venus penetrated by appendages. Am I still?

Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, all day long. It'll give you confidence and eventually you'll be so supervised. You won't even chair that you're fucking up all the time. So simple even an R word could do it. Way ahead of you sir but thank you for the suggestion. Yes. Hey Kyle, the NYC lockdown quality was fucking good. Call me back. I know it shocked everybody. I pulled that one out of the 11th hour. Everyone thought I was gonna drop the ball

on the 99th yard line, but it said I held onto that ball, took it right into the end sound. That was a fucking miracle. I got that thing to sound good, holy shit. All right, so this is a pro audio engineer calling in. Finally, someone with some advice on how I can fix my shit. I keep talking about iPodger, I just did the show.

But the bonus show that we did, I was telling Dick and Sean about all the problems we were having and Dick started giving me advice on how to run this show. Like, thanks, finally, someone's telling me what I could have done better. Thanks, finally. Captain Hindsight. I've been waiting for someone to give me some advice.

I want to shoot a done. Look at that, so. Hey, Carl, this is a professional audio engineer here and man, it's real tough. I'm looking for work right now. I know you don't need it. You obviously have everything under control, especially when you do your live shows. But man, there's a lot of us out there right now who can't get work and I know you don't need any of us.

Obviously, you do great. You do a great job. But man, if you do, if you know somebody and you know somebody with some money who, you know, makes money from their audience, then it'd be great. If you just told them or told us so we could go work for them, it'd be great. But yeah, keep on doing what you're doing. It sounds great. Don't bother hiring anybody because you got this. All right, cool. Yeah, I agree. I'm amazing at engineering my own live shows.

So I'll continue to do that. All right, this is the last voicemail. And this is VIXX Boyfriend calling into the show again. Hey, it's Galpha Togifer. Hey, VIXX, just a quick offer. I do have some top-of-sophos from when you're younger and a little bit more attractive. If you want me to send those over to you, you can decide what you send over to Carl.

Just let me know. Carl, I love doing business with other people on your voicemail line. That'll be the invoice. Okay, bye. Sounds good. Thanks, Calvator photographer. So, all right, yes, send those photos over to Vic. And then Vic, if you want to photos over to Vic and then Vic, if you wanna send over somebody before and after photos, we can see if you've gotten hotter

or if you're digressing, we'll figure it out for ourselves, but that'd be great. Great, yeah, some pre-cow and post-cow. Yes, that'd be great. Oh, Vic actually looks a little bit put off by this. I've never seen that look at your face before. It's silly. No, that man, you know like the-

He's a creep, isn't he? He's so fucking weird. He made me do the anime girl like a hago face. You know what I'm talking about with her? I said Kevin knows. I did emphasize. I did. He's cultured.

No, yeah, he was like, all right, you gotta fuck a practice for it. And then I gotta take pictures of yeah, he was like, all right, you got to fuck a practice for it. And then I got to take pictures of it. I was like, okay. I liked that she said he made me. Yeah. It sounds like she was very willing to do all of these things.

Is this really was your ex-boyfriend? I want to say boyfriend. It was like, I used him as a sugar daddy for like a weekend, like three days. And I was like, ah, you're weird. So I got the plot thickens out this one. So we have photos of a Vic and a cow bikini that this guy shot that weekend that they hung out. And then we had I spun the wheel of consequences and the wheel landed on have dinner with a listener.

We did a live show in Nashville. This guy came to the show. I had to have dinner with him. So I met Vick's ex-boyfriend. And actually I think he came to Tampa, too, right? Did I meet him there? Yeah, so I met him in Tampa. And then he came to our show in Nashville.

I got some hot chicken with him in Nashville. And he gave me the Calbacuni that Vic wore in those famous photos. And then fucking close through it up. Close through it up, you didn't realize how fucking valuable this bikini would be to the WATP world. But what are you gonna do? What are the pictures of you in this fucking bikini?

Because I've seen that of you. Yes. Okay, so that was another consequence. So I had to wear a calvikini and Vinnie brought in the professional photographer. We got up on the stage of the wrinkles room. It did a whole photo shoot of me and a calvaciti. And that sucked. It's still the image of the discord server that we have.

Me and a calvaciti. So I love getting Kevin caught up on these shows. Yeah. It's fun. He looks like he doesn't know what to believe. I know. You're making all of this up. All right, girls, I'm going to give you a thousand bucks. Pretend you're our review girls. What a little press cabin. They'll think we got a whole thing going on. All right. Oh, fuck. That's all I got. Guys, thank you all for

spending the afternoon with me today. This has been fun. Okay, folks, guess what? The episodes? Oh, that was a great episode. That was really great. I gotta go. Goodbye. Goodbye. What's with the dancing around the shit? I stink. You hate me. Great. Goodbye. Jesus, I gotta go. This is getting stupid. Bye guys. I don't know who gives a shit Why am I even still doing this? I'm out of here That's enough right. No, what more? This is it. It's over. Okay. Goodbye Goodbye, hey, bye goodbye

Bye.