Who Are These Podcasts? - Ep39 - That Damn Drunk

Episode Date: November 28, 2016

Another week of WATP is in the books.  This time we review a podcast called That Damn Drunk which may take the prize as one of the worst podcasts we've ever reviewed.  It just didn't click for Kevin and Karl so much so that Kevin was ready to get off his couch and actually get angry.  Yes, Kevin gets angry this show and it almost feels weird to hear.  But don't worry cuz Karl reigns him back in sort-of and they try to right the ship.  Remember, all it takes is one poopy podcast about drinking to set Kevin off. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hello and welcome to another episode of Who Are These Podcasts? I'm Kevin, and I'm Carl. And we listen to podcasts so you don't have to. We want to remind our listeners you can visit us on WhoAreThese.com or on our Facebook page. We're always looking for new podcast suggestions, so leave us a comment or post a death threat. And today's show will be reviewing a show called That Damn Drunk.

As always, we have listened to the show separately. We have not discussed it with each other beforehand. So without further ado, let's find out once and for all. Who are these podcasts? It's show time.me W-A-T-P everybody! W-A-T-P! W-A-T-P! In the morning.

How you doing? What is happening, buddy? Not too much. Listen to a really shitty show. Oh my gosh. We, uh, we listen to that damn drunk. The premise is these guys drink beers and they rate them. However, that's about 0.1% of the show. Well, it's two drunk douchebags having a conversation. Yeah, I was going to say it's listening to them basically make up stories about people that they fucked. That was the majority of the podcast, the reticulous stories that I do not believe are real.

Oh, these guys are fucking lying about everything that they say. Yeah. And you could, and there's a tell too. You know, as I was lying, because there's this crazy story at the very end, we don't have to get there just yet, but he repeats over and over again. And that's a true story. I can't make this up.

That's a true story. It's like, when you're telling a true story, you don't have to say this is a true story 17 times in a row. Right, right. But this, this should not be a show. This is maybe one of the worst ones we've ever reviewed Kevin. I'm okay. Because this whole premise is ridiculous to people who are self-admittingly shy and uninteresting in every way, getting drunk and recording, like, just get drunk without fucking recording it. The worst part is this guy puts out a video of the, of the episode two, um, I saw on YouTube. They, uh, they actually have the hour and nine minute long video out there.

Of this show, of this, of this exact, yeah, of all of the episodes, this, this one as well. I, uh, I didn't bother looking them up. I just assumed they're like complete fucking geeky dudes that are trying to be like bros, but yeah, I don't know my right. I don't matter. Yeah. So you got the host Darrell. It's his show. And then he's got his buddy from work over.

His guy named Shamus. And Shamus, well, what did I play this clip for you to start things off? There, this episode was recorded after they recorded episode 13. So this was already an hour into them drinking when this one started up. I went back and listened to the beginning of episode 13. And I have a clip on here, don't like to listen to people talk for an hour. This was the beginning

of the first show with Shamus, where they're talking about how they did a show back in episode two and admittedly never listened to it. Probably that clip. I mean, it was a fun podcast, but I don't enjoy listening to it to be completely honest. Can I tell you a secret? I already know this. I haven't listened to it.

Yeah, I probably never will. I have no, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Which I don't really, I don't care about that. I just, yeah, I can't listen They really I think it boils down to my dislike of podcasts. I just don't like listening to people talk for an hour really Oh my god, what a fucking asshole So this the host there goes yeah, I don't like listening to these shows afterwards. Yeah, nobody does. They're fucking terrible

Right stop stop doing this. What a fucking, what a dumb shit. I don't like listening to, I don't like podcasts. I don't like listening to people. Well, then don't subject everyone else to having to listen to your dumb shit. In their defense, they're not making anyone listen to this garbage.

And there's no, like, your eye would have listened to more than three seconds, even weren't the dumb premise of our show. Right. But this is, this is fucking nonsense, though. This, this show goes on and on with no substance, whatsoever. Yeah, I, I had a real hard time. I listened from beginning to end straight through. Okay. It was just completely like wanting to shoot myself multiple times through it. Now I do not claim to be a professional broadcaster or entertaining or anything. But this was just, it was like city next to two dudes in a bar that you know don't belong there and that they're having their own conversation but they think that they're cool because they're at the bar.

I don't know. It's just like this whole thing. This podcast makes our podcast sound like the side-and-fell of podcast. It is so fucking terrible. I can't believe that this type of thing exists out there. It's just, again, going back to that just because you can do it doesn't mean you should. This guy should not be doing a show. It's terrible.

Yeah. Yeah, totally agreed. They get into a lot of different topics. I have a clip on here, number three, it's called the world's dumbest question ever. They're talking about what they refer to as a devil's threesome. Two guys and a girl. All right, play this question. And then another question I thought about, well, if it was your girlfriend, would you bring another guy in or would you feel more comfortable with someone else's relationship and you were brought in? Alright, number one, I do not believe that either of these fucking assholes have ever been

involved, had a discussion at all with any female about a threesome. I just do, I don't buy that concept at all. Well these guys don't even talk to girls I have a couple clips that prove that point right. Yeah, well, yeah Yeah, there was the one other guy there. I guess it's shameless Was saying there's at one point they were like oh, you're going on a date or whatever Kind of shy and stuff and then they're you know, they're talking about anal like they know how I'm kind of showing stuff and then they're talking about anal like they know how

Right, well, well, I fucking chicken anal bomb. Oh my god. All right since you brought that up I have a clip on here. I guess got to find it. It's Vama inducing conversation number 16 He said I like to fuck hard and fast and you can never like fuck anal hard and fast It's like slow and meticulous Are you okay? I'm fine. I just threw up in my mouth a little bit When he started talking about how he likes to fuck I was like, okay, this is ridiculous Yeah, you know that I took that same clip actually, except at the beginning of it. Well, yeah, the beginning

of it is more like, there's a little more that he goes and he's like, you know, I like I don't like anything of my ass. I'm just gonna say it. I don't like anything of my ass. But the guy's like, well, what about when you're doing it? Well, you're like, are you fucking kidding me? Either one of you guys have never fucking done anal sex before. All right, then they tell like a whole bunch of really boring stories. I have a clip on here that I call boring story number 423. And the guy was chugging a beer. Am I youngest brother?

Screamed out. Shugget Warrior. And everyone in the audience, like there's hundreds of people and they all stopped and started laughing their asses off. And he chugged it though. Shugget Warrior. Shugget Warrior. And my brother's like 10 or 12 at the time.

And he just screamed that chugget warrior. Never tasted a beer in his life. And he's gonna call them warrior. Shugget warrior. Shugget warrior. I look like that was the best moment. What a story mark I Know it's a long clip, but the guy was they had a milk that fucking punchline for so long for 40 seconds

They're just going sugar warrior what he said that yeah, man Sugar, I can't believe he's a jugger war here. All right. We got it. Yeah, fucking terrible anecdote This the people that, these are the kind of people that I really fucking hate. Like, I'm generally a pretty easygoing guy, but I really fucking hate people who are, who talk like this, who are broish like this, very bro-down and just very, and anybody who listens to emo music and I love emo. I love emo.

Oh my God, I want to fucking drill both these fuckers in the face, it's just so maddening to me. Like these are the guys that like watched, you know, dude, you know what? I saw hangover three the best movie the year. Like, that's the type of shit that you would get out of these fucking two. Alright, so let's talk about their, the lies. I have a track out here, number 19, called,

Ping on Hitler's Grave. My friend, little mascot, Rester Ping on Hitler's Grave in Germany. Really? Yeah. What the fuck? He was ping and hula's grave in Germany and because obviously it's hit this grave so they have cameras all around the area. Okay, so Kevin, I don't know if this caught you at all, but there is no gravesite for Hitler in Germany. This guy is a fucking idiot. What do they think that they fucking still have a memoriam to Hitler? The Germans want to forget about that shit more than anyone. They're not celebrating his life That's what I exactly would house think into him like what are they have like a headstone like for

No, of course, and like that wouldn't be the most Descrated fucking place in the world Of course, and like that wouldn't be the most desecrated fucking place in the world Yeah, I mean that would be it'd be a great place to go see hardcore band play, but No, there's definitely not a fucking grave stone anywhere in Germany for someone to pee at a fucking dumb Such a dumb fucking premise like oh, yeah, man My one dude man my one friend he he was fucking this chick right and he was in this dark he was a hooker man and like he was fucking her and all the sudden out of the closet came a just a huge dude who's dressed as Batman and he's like I'm Batman and then he butt

fucked him I heard like you know every like urban legend you know story is what's getting tried it out. You know what I remind of me of is that fucking Tucker Max I was just thinking when you said coming out of the closet I was just thinking Tucker Max because he had that thing where his body was filming him banging this girl in the ass and then he fell out of the closet with the camera and they lost the tape. Yeah I just placed the tape I don't know where I know where it went. So stupid. And then you know, the whole story like the premise of this and the show is titled, so that I butt shugging. I don't know, we talked about it a little last week, which he tells the story and maybe you can articulate. Yeah, I hope so. And before you get into it,

I did clip this. I have a track I'm dumbest fake history of all time it's number 15 But I had to edit this down to take some so long to tell the story So it's a little bit of a longer clip, but I did edit it down But this is what you're talking about this is fucking retarded. Yeah strap strap in people Listen to this is one hell of a wild ride As soon as I get there there's a guy coming out of the bathroom naked with a plunger over his junk Yes, and the girl what happened is the girls took his clothes and threw it off the balcony double. Yes, and He he was pissed.

He was yelling at this one girl and this one girl. He can't even hear her face. So he's the argument with this girl and she's like, I bet you won't fucking stick that up. That up your ass. And he was like, I bet you a fucking will. She's like, no, you won't. You're not gonna do it.

Fuck you. I fucking stick this up my ass. Nope. Fuck. No. He's like, I'm I fucking stick this up my ass. No, fuck you. You're like, I'm gonna fucking stick this up my ass. He gets on his back and fucking sticks the stick in of the plunger up his ass. No, no, no, out. Any of that make any sense at all? Uh, no. Do you have the rest of it because he... I do. So, Darryl, he gets a little in Germany for a while and he's talking about this party he went to, and apparently these girls take these guys clothes, throw it out the window,

and then convince him to shove a plunger up his ass. It makes fucking zero sense. So then it goes on and on and on. And yeah, let's play track 17, butt-sugging. And then the dude sticks the beer, the corona up his ass and pours the beer into his ass hole until he screams again. He's like, get that out. Get it out. Get it out. Get it out. Okay. So after the plunger incident, then the girl teases him and says, you won't shove a beer up your ass. And of course, he gets his, his buddy to help him shove a beer in his ass. I kept it up into a few parties in my day. There's nothing like this is ever going on.

Yeah. And that's where it just completely falls flat. Because it's like, so, so then it gets even crazier. And this is the track that I call pants on fire because this guy is a fucking liar and the Duke is in the beer they shoved in his ass and shugs the whole beer with the shit chunks in it With the shit chunks in it. Yeah, that's my weirdest door like that's the weirdest Okay, yeah So fucking fake it's so fake he's like yeah, and then he pulls the beer out of his ass And I can see like the shit chunks all in the beer like what what are you even talking about none of this makes any sense But I mean like if you were in that situation, right? So you're at a party. A dude, first off, a dude runs naked with a plunger covering his

junk, runs out of the bathroom or whatever. At the point, the plunger is the worst thing you could use to cover your junk with. Well, I guess like, okay, he was in the bathroom and he was close. So that's all maybe all he had to cover himself Whatever I give that the bed and a foot of the doubt, but if you are average Joe person Having a beer at this crazy party What do you do when you see naked man run out of the Bathroom do you continue to watch as he shoves a plunger up his ass?

What do they like get in a big circle around them and all that? Yeah, that's the other weird thing. It's like there's a fucking naked dude How is that just going on and on and on like you shove and shove and shove and shove up his ass and then he's taking out more bats He's getting his blade to shove more things up his ass like right if anyone's going like this is weird. I'm leaving Yeah, or you know the general reaction of most people is Like to leave the room I've seen people do that when once somebody throws up So yeah, it's it's just

complete horseshit nonsense and I don't like it at all No, it's terrible. I have some more clips here. We don't have to play all of them, but I have this clip because this guy uses a phrase that is my least favorite phrase ever. And I called this clip. These guys fucking yuck Shaky's does a pizza buffet before two on Every day I think it's from like 12 to 2 shut the front door. Oh God You know there's I just saw a post Was either on Reddit or Imager or something I don't remember but it was One of the writers from the show Workaholics. Yeah.

And they have a whiteboard in the writer's room. And over, I think it's whatever season they're in now, five or six or whatever. Over all of those seasons, they've compiled a list of phrases that need to be retired and I'm pretty sure shot the front doors on that, but if there's some really fucking funny shit on there that it's like you still here people say you know that are still You know perpetuating these fucking I mean I say a couple of them. Yeah, I think we all do

you know perpetuating these fucking I mean I say a couple of them yeah I think we all do but it's so interesting are you I hear a keyboard are you typing I'm looking for it I'm looking I want to find out it's like two different whiteboards that they've like compiled like a list of of dumb fucking scenes and you be retired like you know ridiculous and all those things I think the yeah throw it throw it up on my mouth a little. I think it's probably on there. It's probably on there. Yeah, yeah, this is funny. Bag of Dicks.

What? Can't retire. Bag of Dicks. Zero Fox given. Yeah, that's another go sports. What was it? Go sports? I don't know. I don't know what that is. Oh, rut rows on the list. All right. Now I'm just embarrassing myself by reading this again. Oh, shit. These are all things that I said. Alright now I'm just embarrassing myself by reading this and going oh shit these are all things that I said

Over Regis impression. I think that was on there what you just did Believe me there's a bunch of shit on there that my girlfriend fucking gives me weird looks at too I say a lot of shit on there that I'm like oh, yeah, I guess I shouldn't I Can say this anymore All right so here's some more nonsense play track five Wait is it lit like the band like my my overs enemy Okay remember the band went the one that I just, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that asshole then start singing lit because he does start like singing things. He does like the final countdown. I have that. Do you have that? I don't have it, but he does it like twice. He sings it. Yeah, do you have it here? Well, uh, Trek 13 is called Duck People Should Consider Yeah. It's the final town depra-haw-haw.

Yeah. Wait. Yeah. So... So... So... The first time I... He was knocking at the entrance.

He was not what. He was knocking at the entrance. The other guy was trying to get him to shut up and he just kept going through the whole fucking thing Yeah, this This is funny to me because I I do this type of shit a Lot and get called out on it for just singing random bullshit But the deal is here. It may be on bias But I actually nail the fucking thing.

Like I can sing. You know what I mean? I could do these things and not be annoying. This dude is just fucking annoying. Like he's just, and maybe I am too, but God damn it, I feel like I can do this type of shit. I don't know. Well, it reminds me of, you know, Jack Black,

when he gets a little bit too carried away with himself. Oh, you mean all the time? Yes. He just has to start singing and being overly whatever. Here's a track called, and the winner of the Duce's moment goes to... And so, like, I understand, like, because, like, I have a very eccentric, and I will say where I fucking just like sing songs about who I am Oh, yeah, he

That was Jack whack what level do she miss like what are you doing dude? He does they both are very Into themselves like this guy talks about like how Like how how crazy he is and how How like out there he is and he's so outrageous at work and I'm like shut the fuck up shut the front door yeah damn it. Anybody that needs to talk about themselves like that like how edgy they are you're not then you're not fucking edgy. All right, if you have to call it out to people on a podcast I don't know I'm I write I do have this

Shamest humble brag play track 11. That's related to that When I want to be and something when I want to be when I can be and when I really needs to be I'm pretty good with human beings Oh great and when I really need to be, I'm pretty good with human beings. Oh, great. He's pretty good with human beings, Kevin. That's a natural thing to say. I fucking hate these two. Yeah, they're terrible. And you know what, all these conversations that they're having are retarded,

but the premise of the show is that they're drinking beer and rating it. I have a track I here called disgusting drinking sounds Yeah, like their mouths. Why would I want to listen to that on a podcast? I noticed that too. It's like come on guys like I noticed that too. It's like come on guys like If you're gonna at least try to like be away from the fucking microphone and be drinking something I mean I drink coffee in my closet here my record sometimes but I cut it out I cut my gulping sounds out after the fact I don't think these guys could be bothered with With editing and not only that, but they're...

It doesn't... No one's ever gonna hear this show. Why would you even... That'd be a waste of time. Well, they have like a bunch... Like they have all positive reviews on their shit. So it's like either... Oh really?

Yeah, all their friends either love it. Or people are actually listening to this show. I that I don't understand but All right, well, I got a trivia for you Track seven I call trivia time what are women? It's just weird because I don't think about a lot like Talking to women shouldn't be so hard because when it boils down to it, women are just their people. Their people. Their people. Did you know that women are people?

Yeah, he goes into this whole thing about, you know, there's just people like you and me, you know, they're just human beings and, you know, he should be able to talk to them and it's like, well, then they get, then they get into right after that conversation of very controversial stance Play track eight women are human beings and they should be treated as human beings I disagree women are property The fuck kind of statement is that oh But I have a clip that's related to all their talk about music and emo. In the beginning, they put out a disclaimer that they're already five deep at this point.

They've already had five beers. And so dumb things may be said. I just put a little production together and took that clip and then fast forwarded to some of those dumb things. Play Track 9. You know, we're five deep at this point. Just keep that in mind if anything dumb is said. I don't care about machine going to kill you. I care about emo night. Dance floor is my bitch. Wow. There was a part where they were talking about going out and dancing on a Tuesday night at this club to play Emo music on Emo night. Yeah, and Chaint Mrs like the dance floor is my bitch like he loves dancing. You know, I bet he's got one of those like those like necklaces like the

What the hell they call like the little black beads But he's got one of those he wears. All the time. I'm no actually talking about it. You know, like it was popular in the 90s. You know, they have like that, that fucking douchebag necklace that was just like little black beads or whatever. And we're like, ugh. Spatient.

You know, there's a YouTube video you can find out for yourself. Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah. It was so shameless. must put stuff out there. What's he wearing? Is he like, you know, he's hot. Yeah. I don't know. What are you wearing? No, I just want to know if like does he dress like he's, you know, straight out of the 90s or... Dushbag. He's a D a douchebag okay I think the music that they're referring to you though Kevin Emo was really more of a really two thousandth thing what wasn't it I think these

guys are a little bit younger than us yeah I gather that too but well speaking of just fucking dumb dumb play track 10. Yellow card are their big magic fans. No way that's party hard. Dude they don't really drink. They just sit and play magic. Sweet. Yeah. I'll play magic gather with the yellow card. I would fuck play magic. Yeah. The yellow card. No hard beat. You're stupid. What are you guys? A lot to say. Hey, I'm gonna play a game with shameless. He's acting like he's like, oh, I'll do that. Like no't know. There's a lot to say. I don't know. I don't know. There's a lot to say. I don't know. There's a lot to say.

I don't know. There's a lot to say. I don't know. There's a lot to say. I don't know. There's a lot to say. I don't know. There's a lot to say.

I don't know. There's a lot to say. I don't know. There's a lot to say. I don't know. There's a lot to say. I don't know. There's a lot to say.

I don't know. There's a lot to say. I don't know so it's not like he's, I don't know, I guess they're drunk, but it's just, the guy can't even talk. Play track too. Seven percent alcohol, okay. Seven? I didn't even know that. Now you know. When I picked it out, I had no idea. And no, I had no fucking idea. Haha. Idiots. This was a really tough one. And I had a real hard time listening to this. I knew you were going to hate it because it's just the worst type of show. And we've done podcasts at a little more professional. People who, you know, are broadcasters, not just a couple of bag slappers who sat in the college.

If that he was a bag slapper, it's fucking Darryl and I, his buddy, Shamus. Exactly. I got some good feedback on the bag slappers stuff from from last week, the jingle department, hitting a home run in the eyes of the fans. So why don't we get to why don't we for people who missed it by the 007 bag slapper song. Backslapers They're the men

The men used to laugh their eyes On the couch Such a cold figure I love that she rinded four skin with Kevin. That's definitely a good touch. It's a little shea-art. No, I allow it though. I'll allow it. I think it's good.

All right, well, that was less than fun listening to that show. Fortunately for us, Kevin, we're gonna do this again next week, and we're gonna listen to a totally different podcast. We'll be reviewing a show that's nothing like that damn drunk. So that can only be a good thing, right? It's definitely going to be a good thing, yeah.

Okay, I do have a clip from that show that we'll play for you. This will be a little tease for everybody to get excited about next week's W-A-T-P. Why are we talking about Dr. Hoh, my goodness? I'm not sure. Oh, because Bairn looked cranky at me. Oh, right, okay, right.

Yeah, so he has total legit Cat Lady reference. Mm-hmm, Tate's legit. Mm-hmm. Yep. Um, well, what else have you seen on the internet? What else can we talk about? Um, cats and stuff. Cats and stuff. This is the Cat Lady Podcast.

Episode 22 entitled Cat Friendly Hotels, Kitty Keys, Best Friends, Animal Society, and Cat Behaviourists Samantha Bell. My favorite part about that clip is that it's four minutes in and they already don't know what to talk about. Well, not, not you want to talk about it. I'm not sure. Pretty good sign you shouldn't be doing a show. Right. Yeah, if there's no, you have to do a little bit of prep. I mean, I know I'm not the best person to be saying that, but you got to do some fucking prep. I mean, you got to know a little bit about what you're going to talk about or well, we'll find out if they if they do end up figuring it out. I haven't listened to this whole show yet, but based on the first five minutes, it sounds pretty terrible.

So should I just do Cobra Commander for another 10 minutes just to equal out? Yeah. Then when you edit the show later, just put a couple of commander in the beginning and take out all that shit that we did about that damn drug. All the times where I did a monologue about how shitty it was. Yeah, you were pissed today. You could even find that the fun in it. You were so fucking angry.

I just angry. Well, it's it's impressive because you typically don't want to hurt anyone's feelings and you usually try to get people to benefit the doubt, but today, man, you're writing a fucking fight. I'm not really. You like to have a Lego war with these guys. I'm really having nap. We nap fight. Yeah. All right, well, please tune in again next week because Kevin and I will be listening and trying to figure out who are these podcasts. Sleep well, everybody.

Party is gonna must be the morning radio. And now to show these old radio. The show is full of my talent. I don't know. I don't get it. Makes no sense.