Who Are These Podcasts? - Ep404 - WATP-TDS Crossover LIVE - Beer on the Balcony, Opie, Fat Lip

Episode Date: April 23, 2023

We were in Philadelphia last night and a lot of you were too. For some reason I was allowed to run the tech and shockingly, I didn't mess it up!! This one came out great (although I'm sure I'll read comments from people with a different opinion). We were joined by Dick Masterson, Vito Gesualdi, Nick Rekieta, Jenny Jingles, Tab Birt, and Vinnie Paulino as we discussed Stuttering John, Opie, Ash, and a bunch of other things. There was a Creep Off / Biggest Problem crossover and we ended quite sloppily with The Biggest Problem in the Universe audience edition. Also, stick around to the end, Hannah came up and we all were excited. Support us, get bonus episodes, Vic and Hannah pics, and watch live every Saturday and most Wednesdays: http://bit.ly/watp-patreon https://watp.supercast.tech/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Slap a roomy. It's show time. Slap Aruni. Showtime. Hello, Robert, it's the Couseroo's. Welcome to another episode of Who Are These Podcasts. The only show they can trick you into flying to Philadelphia. I'm your host, Carl, with me as always, the best hair and podcasting. It's producer Chris. And from here is what I don't get. I don't get why he's here. It's Tam Burts. Thank you. Ah, ah, ah, ah. I brought my thinking beers. Philadelphia's favorite Mexican, Dick Masterson. Yeah. Good.

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I heard that. We'll be reviewing a show called Beer on the Belketing. The E.O. All right, we are going back to January 1st, 2021. Stuttering John had Ed of Hunter on beer on the balcony. This is Jan 1st. So you got to think, John's probably been drinking. I would imagine he's had a couple pops. But he is a different guy. Check this out. He is shot out of a cannon to start this show.

Welcome to the world famous Stuttering John podcast. This is the beer on the balcony, 2021 edition. So, before we get started, let me just say to stage dog, happy new year, and scared! Shut up, cannon-ropping. What? This guy can actually, he sounds coherent, he can actually talk a little bit, shocking to me since we know what he's become. And so what's find out, you know that beer on the balcony is behind the paywall. Is that a fake balcony? Sorry.

It is a fake balcony. He did a beer on the balcony on his balcony one time and abandoned it and got a green screen. Wow. Got out of fake balcony ever since. Yes. So how many people are watching Stuttering John's beer on the balcony on January 1st?

I have the answer for you if I can get this to actually grab this thing. Hey, there we go. I hear three. All right. Let's see. It's only me and you stage dogs. I don't know. Everybody else sleeping? What's going on? I sent the link out. We'll see what happens. It's literally a Zoom call.

It's me and stage dog. It's not a show. It's a Zoom call. It's one other person. Stage dog. You're my best display. Everyone else abandoned me, stage dog. You're still here.

He really does look so much better there than you. He does, doesn't he? He looks terrible. He looks like an 80-year-old woman. And he looks so much better than he does now. But he's doing like the lighthouse. Was William DeFoe? Did you see that? But just him and stage dog. To be fair, there's probably like 15,000 beers ago.

This video. I'm doing the wrong voice. Fuck. Alright, guys, everyone have a drink? Is everyone have a drink? Alright, let's do it together, guys. Here we go. Let's do it together. Let's do it together. Skull! Skull!

Is he seeing Skull like them tobacco? Piggies up. Yeah, it's a Scandinavian toast school. Oh, okay. Duh. Don't give up, especially. Take that one, baby. Alright, so now we finally have our guest who comes on,

Adam Hunter. And I think this is funny because John just wants to drink. He doesn't want to do a show. Amen. So he breaks that Adam Hunter and just immediately starts to drink egg. The great Adam Hunter, welcome to the Stuttery on the balcony edition. What's going on? How are you, man? Happy New Year.

Same for you. It's not only happy New Year, it's my youngest son's 15th birthday today. Really? Yeah, he was the first baby born in the San Fernando Valley that the newspaper came and took pictures. What are you talking to me for then? So you got his party? You got a city chair, are you? Yes.

Father of the year. Good question. Just yoke his son's birthday. And he's like, I'm drinking a dude. Hey, hey, what's going on, everyone? You know, the thing is, I really wanted to make your birthday party, but I needed's going on, everyone? You know, the thing is, I really wanted to make your birthday party, but I needed to drink on the internet.

You have to... You have to... You have to understand the work comes first. It's kind of like father's war in the military. His son was the first baby born in San Fernando. As a Mexican, I'm offended by that. No, I'm not weird, I'm not that weird. I'm not that weird, okay.

January 1st, baby. And it was a slow news day, because the newspaper came out to report out it, like, oh, neat. Very impressive, John's amazing. Amazing. Look at him. Look at my son.

Canas and everything. One day old, and he's already in the newspaper. Just like his old man just already a celebrity destined for greatness all right so Adam Hunter I don't they would know Adam Hunter is the stand-up comic okay no because he's on beer on the balcony correct if you were famous he wouldn't be on beer in the balcony. Correct. If he were famous, he wouldn't be on beer on the balcony. This didn't watch his career apparently, this appearance. Oh, you mean streaming to 12 people? I'm suddenly a skyrocketing him to a new place. Shaming to a win.

This didn't work out. Right, more people joined in later, if you. I would assume. Yeah, a moderator's showing up or two. So it's pointed because Adam and John go way back to when John was on the Stern Show in New York City. So Adam knows John pretty well and they're talking about COVID here.

But you put so much alcohol and weed and cocaine in your body. I don't think COVID has a shot. I don't think that like, like your body has to feed it to Mike Tyson. This is like, it's like, I put it away. COVID is a featherweight compared compared the old blood people in your body. I know, I know. I know.

I've always said that. I just can't see myself going down to some virus. I hate that Jay goes, yes, I'm indestructible. I have done a lot of blah, a lot of blah, nothing can go wrong here. I think you took that the wrong way. He's very proud of himself with that. I think I Adam can't even be bothered to sit up. I'm so born.

He's so born. And he was making me so queasy because it's laptops on his lap. And the whole thing's wiggling the whole video. At one point he gets up and just starts walking around his hotel room to find his computer plug because he's down to 2% and I was like, ah, no, Adam, this is when you go, ah, sorry, John, I'm at 2% I'm going to have to go. That position, it's like when you get stuck in a position when you've been masturbating for a while and you're like, why am I laying like this?

Hold on, I got to readjust. You're like, I'm an adult man, I have a bed, I can relax. Is this what you mastermate do? Southernary job? Is that why you thought of that? Sometime. No, I see, look at his neck. I know that move.

Just reset, reset. He's a multitasker. That's why his computer's a 2%. He was jerking off all the way up until his appearance. You need that screen bright. My way is computers moving. He's probably doing it during the game. You're about to.

All right, so John tells a story about a time that he saw Adam at the laugh factory and John got kicked out of the laugh factory. I'm guessing he deserved it. Then you came at a laugh factory. I think you got kicked out because I forgot you got to know if I was with the balancer who was a jerk to you. And then I went to your defense, you're like, Adam, get away, I want to wear you getting trouble. And then you helped get me on the tonight show, which was awesome. Yeah, who was that guy? Uncle or

cousin? I think I was just like, he just power went to his head. He was like, not letting people in laugh, actually, or something. He wouldn't let your guests in, you have to charge you or something. Yeah, and I went through my people at the tonight show to Jamie Masada. I think I was like, brother Woods or something. Yeah, brother Woods. And he was being a real dick to me. Yeah, he started going to a fight with him.

So it sounds like Jon was being a big shot because it is when he was working for Jay Leno. And I don't know, Dick, you might know this. At the lab factory, there's a few celebrities there and he'd give a night. They're not there. Well, Draper, yeah. Draper was there, I heard. I think I saw a video of that. So there's a...

Draper did many times. So I'm just guessing that John was being an asshole and trying to be a big shot and get favors. And the bouncer's got a bounce. So they're like, I buddy. One of the chances that like anybody there knew who he was. And he's like, do you know who I am? No. No.

Don't you send the audience at the tonight show? Aren't you going to steal the back of the house? You look like a leather muppet man, nobody knows who you are. In the sixth grade my teacher told me that I would make great success. Alright, move it along buddy, move it along! You gotta go! So I made a remix of John Stutter right there, I think this is kind of fun to check out. Yeah and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and, so this is funny because Adam, who's not a raging alcoholic, explains John's behavior when they were on the road together,

and I think this is probably pretty accurate. But we became friends, then we did gigs together, we did a gig in, I don't know, it was some gig we did in like Northern California or a man you drove, and you drank like 37 beers before the game. You fucking broke me during the game. I'm like, dude, are you out of your mind? No, this is how I get rid of my OCD.

Really, I don't know if this is the way to do it, dude. But, and then I admit it to you that I had OCD as well. Oh, me too. Those are my things. That sounds bad. That's fine. Well, what's hilarious about this is we just played a clip where Johnson drinks beers because he stutters.

So he drinks beer together with a stutter or OCD or I think I just like it and drop. I don't know. It's one of those things. I'm not sure when. I got the sniffles. Cous. I got a psychedic. Cous.

I'm feeling kind of sluggish from the day. Cous. I eat energy. Balloon. Alright, so then they're talking about John went to Adam's wedding and John was blown away by believe it or not, celebrities go to other celebrities' weddings. I know that sounds unheard of It was great. Yeah, you know, it was so bizarre Because I come to you wedding and there's scoppay I had been hanging out with scoppay at the cigar club and I'm like, what are you doing here?

What are you doing here? What are you doing here? I'm out of wedding. I've also friends with Adam. What do you mean? What am I doing here? I stuck in. I'm opening that fee. Can you, like, Scott Bay was just crashing random people's

wedding sets of running to Stuttering John. What is the fuck? Why, what else would I be doing here? I ask myself that at every wedding. What are you doing here? All right, so now obviously Scott Beo is a conservative. This is well known. Yeah.

Stuttering John is very liberal. Very liberal Democrat. You know, I'm a Democrat, but I'm like a conservative Democrat, a lot of ways, you know. Yeah, I'm like, this is going to be a bit too move, but like I'm socially Democrat. But, that's what Jay Leno always said, he was. Mmm, Jira! What does it have to do with anything? Did you know that I know Jay Leno?

Whatever! Who cares? All right. So now, because we're talking about the connection with Scott Bale, I guess Scott Bale is going to do this charity that Adam's also passionate about. And he performs at this event, this charity event every year. And he says he always bombs at this event.

And he's being shocked at it. And he's being shocked at it. And he's being shocked at it. Whatever you're supposed to do when you're talking about yourself, John doesn't know of this. So of course, John will explain that, no, no, no, Adam's actually very funny, and all the people watching need to know that. Well, just to let everybody know, because I mean, you know, there are not a lot of people

here, but they're quality people, but this know this is allowed to the 60s. Yeah, I have a picture and you know, like YouTube and they'll watch it later. But I will say Adam is a great comic. I know. You know, so as much as you're self-deprecating, you are a joke fucking machine. And you know, tell everyone how you are helping Jeremy Piven. Alright, so a couple of things going on there. John admitted he had 60 or 70 people on his page on. He knows the exact number. I guarantee you that. Ah, 60 or 70. Who can keep track of such a thing?

Does it when you get into those numbers more than your you know, your fingers and toes. They're high. More than 20 is a high now. It's quantity, quality over quantity. So for X. Boom! Alright. So what a weird transition that was. This guy is trying to talk about this charity's passion about and why he's doing these gigs. And Jack goes, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, what about Jeremy Pippin?

He's like, all right, I mean, can I talk about the charity thing? Again, so that means to talk about celebrities. Yeah, I know. That's what people are here for. That was awkward, obviously. So then, Adam decides to give John a lesson about how conservatives can be good people. Oh, I know. Shocking. I said you're staying. I don't think John is listening to this at all, by the way. conservatives can be good people. Oh, I know, shocking.

I said you're staying. I don't think Chad is listening to this at all, by the way. So sometimes because people are conservative or Republican, they're actually good people. They're the kind of people that will help you fix your car. And yet, I know a person who, famous actress, who was huge in the 80s, who's beyond liberal. I'm not going to say her name because the person, but she's my friend's first cousin.

My friend, my friend's brother is a paraplegic like for life and she wouldn't even make a commercial video for him. And it's her first cousin. But she did something for some other, like Revlon or something, because they paid it. What? Did you see how John was responding to that?

He's just like, are you gonna stop talking? You're just saying, yeah. Yeah, anyway, shut up for a second. What did the paraplegic get? Commercial. Listen, shut up for a second. What I was watching, candidate. I come out and show him. Listen, shut up for a second. When I was watching this, I literally thought that he was going to interrupt him and be like, no, conservatives, they hate all the people.

Yeah, and then they're not good people. They're all people. So I was surprised when he did not object to this humanizing of people he disagrees with. I treat him like regular folks. I like that she's beyond left. He writes that. She still loves, she's right. Well, there you go.

Do you have any guesses about who this actress is? All of them. Yeah. Yeah. Poor Jay. Probably Haley Mancini if I had a guess. I might have threw a heart at there. All right. So now, John's going to talk about Adam's OCD, but John just wants to talk about John.

That's the only reason why he brings this up because he wants to talk about John as OCD. And he wants to talk about that. Well, yeah, you know, I remember, you know, good as gold was asked in here and then, like, in the chat. How does OCD affect you? OCD, that's a really loaded question. I mean, me personally, like, even getting a copus test, I got to, like, drive up and down the street.

I gotta touch there. I gotta have the right door while I'm driving in. I have all these things going on in my head. You know, I drive up and down the street. But of course I was probably need reading so I forgot. But we've already talked about this, but I'm so wasted.

I have no idea. What your answer was. I just know CD effect you can't really say. I said, at least I'll see the answer you could ever again. Yeah. Are you gay? That's complicated. Who's to say?

So now, Adam goes through his OCD ritual and it's as if John is talking to the mirror. I swear to God, this must go on daily in John's shitty apartment. Sometimes, like, if I'm not saving a joke bomb, the joke's not laughing, I'm not funny, I'm a terrible comedian, I'm going to be a loser, I'm not going to lie to me, I'm not going to be able to try. Yes. I'm going to lose custody of my kid. Wow.

I know, man. Have you been reading my diary? You're gonna be not going to your kid's birthday party because they don't want you around. Yeah, I'm being filmed here. These are the most depressing comics I've ever heard talk. I know. There is nothing fun about this episode at all.

It's brutal. I was so bored and unhappy after I watched this. There's two comics to show you a little comedy. You are a miserable, this more. I love the view where I'm trying to talk to them about stuff. Oh, concentrating. You suck. That's why it came around me. When there was a line in the cheesesteak place, I'm like, fuck this.

Yeah. I can't take it anymore. So we were all, you guys were miserable because you've been a fucking listening to Captain Depresso all morning. And we're just starving. And we're in line. We fucked up the line.

We had to get back in line. And Vito's filming behind behind the scenes content like hey everybody We're here in line at Angelina's and it's like man. This is like the worst fucking time to be doing this We're very miserable All right, so remember this is a fun comedy show beer on the balcony He's what he talks to his comic friends and they have a lot of fun and Now I'm like looking at like Who is that person? I'm looking at there like why am I invested in that

My my my dog my wife was and I like dog down What? What? Oh my god. Man, I'm like, it's the worst. My wife wants me to put my dot down. That's the only reason she could be calling me. I mean, you know, I think Selec said. Jesus.

What the fuck on the show is this? Chats not gonna run a show, Dex. Jesus. Sucks. Number one, number one, one Adam silence your fucking phone and number two talk about a way to bring a crowd down like Yeah, we're gonna kill my dog this weekend like oh fuck me. Oh my god Once me to put the dog like there's a discussion. There's a fight where I might lose and the dog might die All right, he needs Andrew Tade.

I never thought I would say that. Let's talk about the obstacles that John has to overcome in his life. It's tough. It's all the piles of things. Keep in mind, not only do I have OCD, I'm also a stutterer on stage. So I got all these fucking obstacles just to make it entertaining. Also, he's retarded, he's tall, he's ugly, his personality sucks. He left out a few things, I wanted to film with the Black Star.

Man, dropping all the time. You know who else they've dropped all the time is Jay Leno. Well, you're leaving out that he smells. He's uninteresting. Yes, thank you. Bailey dates everyone that he talks. He's uninteresting. Thank you. Bailey dates everyone that he talks to. His cockroaches. His cockroaches.

But that's my wife. She wants to put my dog down. What the fuck? That's like a Stephen Wright Joe told badly. Jango, sorry. That's my wife. She wants to put my dog down. With the right delivery, it works.

Yeah. Yeah. That's the fifth round of house. The worst delivery. Man, are you running that down? Is that going to end up during your set? That's sick. I'm going to say that every time I get interrupted

in a call now. He's got to ask my wife. She wants to put my dog down. I'm fucking bitch. I want your dog 17 bucks. I don't know. It seems too soon. Interrupted on a call now. He's got my wife. She wants to put my dog down. Hold your dog 17 bucks. I don't know. It seems too soon. Just got it. She's a puppy. I don't know. Does that matter? Okay, so John can relate to Adam for a very specific reason. They have something in common here. Oh, yeah, no one. And I think you and I are, you know, like the same way, and like, because we both headline,

and when I am a clean up, I know that, you know. Both winners, we're both out of chance. If I'm headlining a show, no, like, you know. Yeah, but I'll, you know, when you know Yeah, but I'll you know and I Know that you slowly listing the one side Maybe I dip a little frame don't forget me here. Are you almost done jerking off? That happens though, you know you get locked in and the headboard. You're like, ah, stuck here.

I gotta, oh, I gotta do. I like how he's talking. Closing the whole incognito tab, I'm starting over. This is not working. John was talking about headlining. His last gig was at a sports bar in Cedar Rapids, Iowa. And then as far as we know, the only gig he's had like two years. Yeah. Oh, yeah, I'm a big headliner. We're both headlining, yeah, I can't relate to. and that is as far as we know the only Gikis had like two years.

Yeah, I'm a big headliner. We're both headliners. Oh yeah, I can relate to. Yeah, I'm playing to crowds of 13 or 14 people that just want me to shut up and leave. And not always John and Terrible Comic. He's the worst interviewer ever because he has to go to his chat to figure out to tell ask his guess what his plugs are here. Mark P is asking what is the best way for us to follow Adam, website, social media, etc. That's how bad he is, the chance like hey John get this plugs out.

Let's not forget that part of the interview you do. Do you see like a good host would normally know those plugs and be like yeah, check out Adam stuff and He's so disinterested in that conversation is like all right Let's get you know tell tell the people But a great host would make you do it All right, so these are just two joke writers talking about how they craft jokes. I always like people say they craft jokes. That's how you know that they're an artist, the true art team.

Go fuck an advanced work we're doing. So Adam, you know, because you, you know, as a joke writer for me, somebody who wrote jokes for Howard and Jay, and you know, I know how, you know, it is a craft. Like people don't realize it is a craft, you know, whether it's absurdity or it's false leads or whatever. There is a craft to writing jokes. I mean, there it, so what, but what do you do? Do you, like, sit down and go,

I'm gonna spend the now. Colin Quinn used to say, he'll just sit, you know, and you know, I'll nick the follow, whatever. Bill Gates, take an hour out of the day and just sit and write jokes. I mean, that's right. I'm totally like right now. If, if, to, writing jokes as a craft

and you're a craftsman of joke writing, Stuttering John is like the shitty kindergarten macaroni art of Like oh yeah look it's supposed to be you know a rabbit you're like this is just a bunch of shit glued to a piece of paper John Like yeah, why don't you put it on the fridge? You're not supposed to cook the spaghetti before you make that job It's fucked up. So I like that he says you know like Cohen Quinn and Nick DePolo they like sit and write jokes you don't say is that with those comic-stores? They sit right jokes. It's a pretty good process. Laving away. It's a hot iPhone. I might be getting a hit of you but he goes on to

like talk about the jokes that he's written. Now mostians, unless they have a bit that they've done, they can't list in five minutes every joke they've written. But John can, because he's been doing the same set for 30 years. Yes, good boy. He goes hit by bits. We all know these jokes, John. We saw your stand-up in 1995. So then, John, being the brilliant interviewer that he is, does not listen to Adam, makes

him repeat the joke that Adam tells her. Oh, you know what? Like, he didn't do it. Like, my dog is passing away. I'm like, how am I going to... What in the fuck is this podcast? I'm going to say, okay, well, she's not dead. She's got a farm with my hopes and dreams.

So that's the joke, but I said it a couple times on stage. It hasn't got a huge laugh. So I went all right well What do I gotta do to make that funny? Oh Before you My dog I like my daughter That dog was gone. I Don't know what to say to her. So I'm going to say she's at a farm. The dogs are a farm. That's what Jay Leno's parents said. Yeah. With hopes and dreams. Because those are all for that. Now I understand that I was supposed to laugh during this.

Take two of that one. We'll edit that out later. Oh wait, I don't know how to edit my show. He literally says that at one point. Adam, like, he tries to bring up something, and Adam doesn't want to talk about it. He's like, can we cut this out? And John's like, I don't have the ability to. Yeah, that's what it's beyond the reasonable standards

of what I am capable of. Don't worry, Adam. Don't worry, Adam. No one will ever see this interview until today. I don't. Right now. Finally, people are seeing this interview. All right, last clip I have from this.

Like, this was brutal. It was like an hour and a half long. It was brutal. It's a slog. And so, Adam leaves, and then John is trying to tease his next episode. He's guys coming out. And John has a weird way of booking guests for his show. I don't know if this is a great way to go about it.

I will see you tomorrow at noon. Michael Cohen has not gotten back to me. I'm not going to trash you. I'm not trash you. The mightiest of shit. Touch brothers. You do go and curse now. Yeah. From what I hear from the source, you interned for Dominic Barbara because you were a big

staring fan. And you don't do my show. Yeah. Oh my god. Those are shows with audiences, John. This is something that I don't understand. Michael Cohen is afraid to do my show. He's not afraid. It doesn't, I can't really wrap my head around this because I wasn't gonna trash him. I was gonna

prop him up. I double-dog dare you to be against my show. I only need like, why would you be against my show? I'm not even gonna trash you this time. What's the problem? And I've got it. Well, it's like, you're doing shows that have thousands and thousands of listeners, and you won't do mine. I have 16 or 70 patrons. How good people.

They're all very fine people. All right, at this time, I'm going to ask Jenny Jingles to go back to the merch table where she belongs. We're going to bring out Vino just Walty, because we have to talk about. Buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, Scoopie Radio. Now this is a brand new episode that we're going to be talking about. Is Vito coming out?

If not, we'll move on. He got to stack with some girl scouts. I don't know what is more excited about the cookies. Watch out for my headphones, devil. Beans as well, everybody. BMI. BMI. BMI.

BMI. BMI. No, no. BMI. BMI. BMI. All right, so OP is going gonna talk about people are asking, would you ever go back to being a music jock on the radio?

Because that was his job before he met up with Anthony and became the OP and Anthony show. He was a music jock. And so OP's gonna answer this question for us. So OP, you never go back to music radio? I would go back to music radio. As a goof though, not as like a real profession. I can do it in my sleep, but there's nothing special to it.

Anyone can do it in their sleep. Why would you go back to being, why would you get a job as a goof? Who would ever do something like that? It's like, all right, I'm in year three of afternoon drive. Is this hilarious? What a great goof this is, right, guys? Making 60 grand a year. On Long Island, it's pretty funny stuff.

That's a good bet. Pretty good bet. Whenever I do a bet, I'm like, I'm going to get a salary position for a period of time. Guys, look at me. I'm still going to be managing this bank. Bunch of roots. I'm gonna get a promotion as a bit.

It's gonna be a great goof and I'm gonna- Look at me, I'm wearing a suit. I look so professional. Look at that, so powerful. You know, it'd be really funny. We're gonna take Collar 9, wins a package of movie tickets to John Wick for. Call the Hotline, isn't this hilarious?

Also as a bit, I like it. You fucking idiots. And also, that would be actually, honestly, you're now selling me, this would be the best radio announcer of all time. Me, Caller 9, you fucking moron. We're gonna play. We're gonna play take this job in shove it for the 18th time in a row. I hear my badminton.

Send me your tits and be so funny. A lot of it. Yeah, I could quit this job at any time because I'm a multi-millionaire, but I'm not going to, because that wouldn't be nearly as funny as just continuing to do this five days a week. Anyway, here's Pearl Jam.

So then, Opie talks about how what he does is he puts a video out of his view of the skyline of New York City at nighttime. And then he explains the show that he would like to do if he was doing a music show, and it is a terrible idea. It's one of the worst ideas I've ever heard. But I wouldn't mind doing that view. And just playing a few tunes, man. Songs that don't even really go together, man. Wow.

I would say, it was an amazing, the grateful, dead, easy wind if you want to know the truth. Then maybe follow it up with the doors, Alabama, song, and then maybe do a Hill Mining Town by YouTube of unforgettable fire. I always believe there is a place for that type of music show. Yeah it's on my iPod. Right. This is a show for an audience of one. Let's just play the songs I like. Nobody else does. No one's listening to this. Guys I've got a great idea. What if I was a shitty DJ?

Wow, oh, that's incredible call into the request line We're gonna tell you to fuck yourself and your song choices are bad It's the radio calling this is a really good DJ bitch. I love this So if you play date Matthew's man fuck you. Oh, do you like that? Definitely not. But what's crazy about OP is he's so dumb, he actually pitched this idea to Sirius XM when he had his own station on Sirius XM, the OP Anthony channel. He went to management and said, guys, I have a brilliant idea. I did tell you the story at Sirius XM. I had this idea forever.

It's not like a, oh my god idea, of course not. But my idea was I wanted to do a music show for the channel that we were running, the O'Bean Anthony channel. And I wanted to play songs I really dig. I wanted to play songs that are we're good enough to be on the radio but they couldn't find a slot for it. And I wanted to mix it up, get all the genres mixed together and just play an hour of music and just you know, having on the channel. 60 minutes commercial free coming Actually live on series XM. I'll actually go away All right, so if anything this is probably the worst idea anyone in radio has ever heard and seriously

His choice is just so eclectic right? I mean like yeah, I want to put like hotel California on the back of like you know like Dire Strains I am a really mix John Ray because what you're describing is a thing called fickle FM on the back of like, you know, like, dire straits, I am gonna really make it. Well, it's fun to say that. It's really nice. Because what you're describing is a thing called fickle effab, I'm gonna radio nerd out for a second here. This is a genre that's in every market it has been for a couple decades.

Fickle effab, they decided, why didn't we just play rock or just play country, but just play all the hit songs from all the genres? The difference though was, oh, because he wants to play B-sides. Yeah. Songs you've never heard before that are from all of the non-credits.

They're good enough. Oh, what he likes. They just couldn't find their slums. Now, honestly, serious thing is going out of business, but not because they're doing a shit job, like they have the Bruce Springsteen channel and the grateful dad channel and the Pearl Jam channel. People who like that stuff,

you can just sit there and listen to live Pearl Jam all day long, it's great. That's actually an idea. Well, okay, maybe maybe that one. But that's actually a good idea. I don't know if these ideas, of course, the exact opposite. I'd love for him to try out this idea in front of a live audience. Could you imagine a wedding DJ who just doesn't take any requests from you?

And there's just like, no, no, no, fuck off. All right, here's my iPod playlist. Yeah. We're just going to play a fish jam for the next 45 minutes. Go fuck off. All right, here's my iPod playlist. Yeah. We're just gonna play a fish jam for the next 45 minutes. Go fuck yourself. Let's get the lucky couple on the floor for your first. Jeremy Spokane, Clastonade. It's time for the father-daughter dance.

They asked for my girl. I think that's a terrible decision. And so instead of gonna play a song that I like, then the... Jane, he's got a gun. Yeah, and then the father comes over and punches him. Ha ha ha ha. And so it's never gonna play a song that I like. Then the... Janie's got a gun. Yeah, and then the father comes over and punches him. That's not everybody.

Dude, that's like a lady. I'm a guy back. Nah, by deck. So it's funny because Opie's been in radio since he was 18. Yeah. And he knows nothing about how radio works at all. In fact, what he's describing would fail miserably in a week. What he's describing.

Yeah, it's OP's infinite plan list. It's like a shitty movie because there's no sad teenager's crying. Yeah, in this case, it's like a 55 year old man. 55 year old man. Millionaire who has just ruined every opportunity he's ever had. So I want to go back a couple of months. OP talked about how he was offered a gig in 2018 to go back to FM radio.

And he's going to explain the offer that he did receive to do that. When I miss was retiring at WABC 1 to hire me, and they wanted to pay me $100,000 a year. They said, that's all we have. Now, you might think to yourself, wow, a hundred thousand. A year would be a sweet living. Yeah, I'm not.

I'm not what I thought I'd do with you in the money. Yeah, not for him. No, he owns three houses. He's got the Manhattan. He's got Long Island on the fucking water. And then he's got a house here in Philly. That wouldn't cover the taxes That wouldn't cover the tax burden on those three house $100,000 a year, but wait It gets even worse because Opinos that he can't actually do a show by himself because he has no talent

So $100,000 has to cover everyone who's on the show But the problem is 100 100,000, wait for it. My agent got at least 10%. So now we're down to 90,000. Then I would have to pay Carl. I would have to pay Vic, because it was that time and possibly some Sharad. So out of the 90 that I had left, I probably would have had

I had at least give up 40 of that for my guys at least I know that doesn't make any sense Rick Wait a second you're telling me he's gonna pay Carl and Vic and charade 40,000 dollars a year to be on his radio Joe it seems insulting that's at least 40,000 nope Keep going those guys have better things to do. Doesn't even make sense. That's $40,000 a piece of the money's gone. I mean, you mean $20,000 a piece?

Well, no, he's splitting that three ways. So he's giving them less than the median income to three guys to basically prop him up, because he has absolutely no talent or personality. Yeah. He was making $2 million a year on Series XM. They offered him $100,000. The only person who would accept a 95% cut and pay

is Stuttering Job. There is nobody else who's just like, yeah, it sounds like a good deal. That makes sense to me. All right. So then OP had another offer and this one really proves what OP is worth these days. And I was having a couple beers with Carl and right before he walked in,

phone rings, it's chas, he's like, oh, I just need you on this station. I just need you on this station. He goes, what about 10 a.m. to noon? And the podcast was doing okay at that point. I look at Carl, I'm like, not bad. We could promote our podcast. This is not a bad thing. He goes, look, you could do it from the beach house. I don't even need you in the city. I don't need you in the studio. What do you say? 10 a.m. to me. I'm like, chas, all right. Let's stress, let's pressure.

Don't have to do Fridays. I can do it for the beach. I'm like, there's one problem. I know what's the problem, Chas. He goes, I can't pay you. Oh, man. He literally got an offer for nobody, a legit offer. And here's the kicker. Here is the kicker.

He brought this to his agent to review. Why is it what's going to happen to you, Sher? Well, so then my agent at the time, he was looking up how much money they make at ABC between the hours of 10 a.m. and noon and the money was horrendous. Yeah, Opie, 10% of nothing is carry the one. Oh, nothing. This is a terrible idea. How did you talk about it?

So he was talking about he was considering a revenue share. I'll get used to making millions of dollars. I mean, that's a deal that Ray DeVito would take. Not Greg OP, that's brutal. God. That's not good. So then he says this and this is insane. This is delusional OP right here. Look, I'm still open to it. I still got agents. They still talk to people.

I'm still open to it. Recently Spotify was interested. They like what I'm doing with these lights. I think there's something here that they like the feel of it. They think it's a little different. But a little different. Vito and I had this call. I have a fight. No shit, sir! No shit! No shit, sir!

No fucking shit, sir! So I have a theory on this because he says my agent called me, they say Spotify is interested, they like what I'm doing. I think this agent has to pretend that he's doing stuff for OP. So he's like literally just like, oh yeah, Opo, so I can do the CEO's Spotify. I think it's his Bill's Spotify. And he loves what you're doing. He's very interested in what you're up to.

Oh, free Miller lights coming out, Maui. Thank you. Is it Tanner? Is this a gay beer? Or is this a straight beer? I don't know. Oh, it's good. I think Vinnie might want to get it.

Vinnie's got a book on drinking comeback stage. That's true. He's in China. He's been hitting us all up back there and like, hey, I need to try this recipe, but I'm kind of running dry You better fucking watch it everybody you get one So you would say opi's a big return to radio is not in the car probably not you know like they're like oh We like Joe Rogan. We like that chick from color daddy. It would be that spotify call They called us too. They set up a meeting and it's just like,

well, what do we have to do to get your videos up? It's not a real- Yeah, it's not for money. We were like, oh, are you guys gonna give us money? And they're like, no, we're just gonna need to upload your stuff for free. MSCS Media. That's, yeah.

They're also a Spotify exclusive. That makes a lot of sense. I do love the guy who goes, we gotta get you on our station. We're not gonna pay you. Me like, oh, maybe don't really want me that. I do love the guy who goes we gotta get you on our station What I we're not gonna pay you Me like oh, maybe don't really want me that but what what other like offer does Opie have though? Why not just take it like he's making a 20 30 40 bucks in stars on the every day and he's like not a hundred thousand dollars That's not gonna work

50 stars $100,000, that's not gonna work. 50 stars? Oh my God. Now that he's broadcasting with a potato, the sky is the limit. Yeah. Okay. I don't think there's actually a lot of

the internet. So many of the internet. I just have a couple clips left. And this one I want to play because Dick is here. And OP was having a discussion on social media. They have the Facebook group, the Pod Squad, that they're doing on social media. And they were having one of the most interesting discussions that you can have in 2023.

We had a full discussion on the social media about, you know, we can't make blazing Wow, it's intimidating. Pretty hot trick right there. That's offensive, I guess. Sorry. So this is the last clip because OP is like the boomer and shit right now that he's got. So OP used to broadcast to a million plus people when he was on Series XM. And now someone's goofing out of him for having 22 viewers on Facebook. And this is OP's big comeback to that.

But your audience is now 22 people. I guess Dan if you want to keep tracking the numbers you're more than welcome. But it's not 22 people it's over 100 between the Facebook and you. That's great. That could be your job weird out. No no you don't understand. There's multiple partners. You literally your job. What do you mean that could be your job? It's not a job broadcasting to 100 people at 20. Yeah, his his comeback was 22. Well, there's you two and now it's over a hundred. Yeah, yeah, that it. All right. I've got more people watching me on Russian torrents.

Shithold.eu.net. Not to mention've got people watching me on Russian torrent shit hole. E U dot net not to mention about 350 people watching him tonight in Philadelphia. There you go. Yeah, you got to factor that into it as well. Everything's coming up open. And with that. I'm gonna bring you. And with that, we are going to transition to the next segment of the show tonight.

That was who are these podcasts. We will circle back to a WTPTDS crossover event. But first, we have another crossover, something we've never done before. This is called the biggest creep in the universe. It's the creep home. And it's not me folks. It's the, it's Vinnie. It's who's the bigger creep, Vinnie not me folks It's the it's been a two's a bigger creep Vity Orvino here we go

All right, we're a big Bigger Bigger Bigger Bigger Bigger Bigger Bigger Bigger Bigger Bigger

Bigger Bigger Bigger Bigger Bigger Bigger Bigger Bigger Bigger Bigger Bigger Bigger Bigger Bigger Bigger Bigger Bigger Bigger Bigger Bigger So here's how we're going to do this. So this is the creep off biggest problem in the universe crossover event. And what we're going to do is each of us

have a creep that we're going to present. And then we're going to go to audience vote to decide who brought the biggest creep. Yeah. They listen to our show, deck. They love the creeps. We're going to creeps you like, blasers, pedophiles. No, we don't like pedophiles.

Pedophiles, you like petafiles. The creep up is by creeps, four creeps. Yeah. So I'm not surprised. Guys who murder animals, you're like that kind of thing. Oh. Kill animals, yeah. Hot, hot, hot, hot, hot.

I have to say, Vinny brought a story of a guy who set his daughter's cats on fire, and that was too far for me. Oh, my. That was the one that I'm tapped out on. What a pussy. That was, that was not cool. The best part about pedophiles is if you rape them, you know they really don't like it. I'm trying to get there.

Hold on. Catching down a child. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Can I explain the joke? I hate where my rapist is in my type. Yeah, that's always the worst

I wish a child was raping me that was the joke Yeah, I got it took me a second to get there. Yeah, I guess if the child was a rapist they might be into it That'd be good. Wait, that'd be a weird child rapist. Yeah, you know that was thinking of that one Back to you guys. Yeah, I'm working on that with you. I'm working on that for weeks Okay, but that was bringing to mind. We really want to do a bit where we hire a 12-year-old and then we have him catfish these predator poachers. I'm sorry, did you say we? What do you mean we?

Shut up. People think they're talking about you and me. Who's we? And then the predator poachers show up to bust what they think is a 50-year-old petafile and it's just a 12-year-old kid sitting on his bed like are we going to play Fortnite or what? You know, it's really funny you guys trying to paint me as I'm the problem. 50-year-old petapile, as if a 12-year-old kid sit down his bed like are we gonna play Fortnite or what?

You know, it's really funny you guys try to paint me as I'm the problem and Vito's sitting over here talking about hiring children Hiring children to play video games fucking with it. All right, not a your violating child labor laws and being a creep Look great, but it's gonna go on all right, so listen I'm gonna take control of this segment and I'm gonna start off with a very healthy, Olock Creepos! Now Carl explained this pretty well, but I just want to make sure you guys get this. This is a serious conversation we're about to have here, and we're not making jokes. Just kidding, we're going to fucking make fun of all these people. But what we want to do is at the end of this,

is we want you to vote for who you thought brought the biggest creep. Can you guys get that? You got it? All right. Carl Westwood. How did they vote? One isn't what it is.

I applaud. We're going to have to pause at the end. By creeping. All right. So I have to remember what happened. I'm feeling the last creep is going to win. But we'll see. We'll see what happens. Carl, where do you want all right So I have to remember what happened. I'm feeling the last creep is gonna win But we'll see we'll see what happens Carl. Where do you want to start? I want to start with you

Many of them will go down the lines. You could show us how to do it. All right, ladies and gentlemen by applause How many people in this room have done something that they were ashamed of that they did not want to fess up to that they did not want to fess up to. You mean I do a live show next to Beetle just welding? What was it? You're clapping. What is it that you're thinking about? That you don't want to fess up to? Yeah, you. What is it? So I couldn't find a bathroom in my friend's house like keeping a cup and then I lost my cup in the hour and it looked like I was going to drink that cup.

He couldn't find the bathroom in his friend's house, so he pissed in a cup and then he dumped the cup out and then in the morning his friend drank out of the cup and he didn't say anything. Can I just say, that's awesome. Wherever you dumped that cup out is where you should have peed. Right, peed in the sink. You couldn't get your dick up into the sink. He needed a stool. He just shoot it up like a... Yeah, why didn't you have the arc? As a man who regularly pisses in the sink, I understand what he's talking about. Bro, big question here. Sometimes you can't get the leverage. Big question, did you wash your hands after? No. All right. Well, you and Carl both suck that, okay. So I'll go first, ladies and gentlemen, I'm going to read to you guys a little excerpt from a

GoFundMe. You guys familiar with GoFundMe when people need money because of tragedy? Look at it! All right, so here's what happened. This is the story. Early in the morning on Saturday, December 12th, baby Scarlett's mother, Brianna woke up to feed her and notice that she didn't seem like her normal self. Now, little Scarlett is seven weeks old, and Brianna determined Scarlett was having a seizure and immediately rushed her to the hospital. Now, after several hours of tests,

including a CT scan, they informed her that Scarlett has been bleeding on both sides of her brain. Oh, this poor baby. This is horrible. Now, the problem was, though, this is according to the GoFundMe, Brianna was at work to provide for her family, and Scarlett was dropped by her caregiver. The caregiver did not inform anyone of the drop until the results of the CT scan were presented. Now, who is this butter fingers? They didn't want to fess up to what they did? Now, in the GoFundMe, they didn't tell you.

But it was the fucking dad. Yeah. This is a light-hearted segment, folks. This is. It's just fun for everybody. Now, they took this baby to the hospital, right? Right. And the doctors are in there and they're going, man, this kid is really fucked up.

What happened? And this guy was like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh Carl's gone. Carl's thrown right in the middle of the fucking thing he's supposed to cue for my segments. You don't find a baby. Thank you. Welcome to Mum and Ed football. Maybe through the vision. Maybe we can get in the air. It's a perfect spiral.

Oh! You'll be shocked this space you could get on a seven-week goal. Oh my God. Now, here's the real sad part. I was reading this. This poor baby died, and I'm not trying to make light of this baby dying But I kind of am I'm a little appalled by what the grandmother wrote in the GoFundMe She wrote this little angel grew wings

Day late in the dollar short She's got wings now fucking convenient this kid So here's the thing not only did this guy murder his own child They're not gonna get the security deposit back on that apartment the walls fucking dentist. Yeah Get a little spackle you fix that up. So here's the good news you guys can applause for this Steven scrammed the dead 23 years in prison. How about it? All right. Followed by a little.

That guy should have gone out for a cigarette. In the NFL. Yeah. The kid would have been better if he went out for cigarettes that gave them to the kid. Yeah. Yeah. That's a white dad.

It is a white dad, you're correct. Oh, what really? Okay. Yeah, he was still there Yikes guys It's okay All right, well To bring this show to screech it all just start with a baby ming spike against the wall. Fantastic. Nick, who's your creep? Do you have one?

Yeah, I got one. Okay. What's his name? Chinese guy. Okay, his name is Moon Roons. I don't know how to pronounce Chinese. Big Chow-Yong-Bong. Mugugu-Ipan.

Wait, what's... It's a bad guy. Yeah, yeah. So he's in a fight with his neighbor. Is a Chinese man in China. And he takes the reasonable approach. Convenient, huh? Yeah. Of, well, it would be weird if he was Italian in China.

Anyway, so he goes and he kills 500 of his neighbor's chickens in one night. Yeah. What an asshole! And apparently he does this by terrifying the chickens into killing each other. So he sets up chicken mortal combat by strobing them with a flashlight and I'm like how do you have time to strobe light 500 chickens into a murderous rampage but then the next day because the neighbor didn't comply with whatever the fucking beef was coming for more he killed 600 chickens the next day. Mortal Kombat is followed up by Mortal Kombat, too. It's just the sequel Nick. I'm pretty sure

That this is a transliteration error because I'm guessing you actually terrified them with a flashlight. Yes. Yeah This psycho sat there with flick it a flashlight watching birds tear themselves apart Because he was mad at his neighbor. I'll give him a crate. He's a crate. I don't know. But any animal you can terrifying to killing their own family by flashing a light a bunch,

like is that animal really deserved to live at that point? I think they're delicious. Who gives a shit? I feel like I would open a restaurant chain with terrified dead chicken. Like we only kill through fear. Could you imagine doing that to Homeless though? Like, if you see Homeless, just flashing a light at the end.

Wait, Kim, when you're sitting in your car. Can we try this day? I'm gonna bring her up. Flash light to Seattle and solve the homeless problem. Let's send giant epileptic drones down to Skid Row and see what happens. There might be a lesson, Mayor. How many of the chickens did he have sex with? I'm sorry? How many of the chickens did he have sex with?

I'm sorry? How many of the chickens did he have sex with? Yeah. How the fuck would I know, that Nick? I don't know. Like, I'm guessing he was jerking off, watching them kill each other. I don't know if he penetrated the chicken.

That does sound high. You got all those chickens there. You got to take one. No, you don't, but, you know, Twitter. Yeah. I don't know how to improv with that. Holy shit. You have to get the chicken there. You have to fuck up there.

You haven't fucked a dead chicken? Well, have you even been to a grocery store? And never fucked a chicken nuggets? Yeah, that's a dead chicken. That was a great, yeah. I like the gritty outside. All right, mine is a British dad that hacked 700 webcams worldwide to secretly spy on women

Fucking Batman until the F. It's a press B.I. Snared in I didn't know zoom was a dad They say they say in this thing, evil hacker, Christopher Taylor took over women's computers with a phony link. Which means that evil hacking is just sending women a link that says click on this for like free shoes. This evil malcontent sent women an email that said, you dumb bitch, click on this link for free shoes. He watched from his home in Wigan as they ate had sex.

I hope not in that order. What a sick fat, a chubby chaser he was. I'm looking in your way for no reason. I'm gonna try this fishing scam. He looked, he watched them as they ate and had sex. And undressed. Oh my god, what a court. Wait a minute, sex before undressing?

Yes, okay. They ate, they slipped the panties to the side and then they undressed after the sex until the FBI rumbled his Triggery. I love it when they write stories like this. I've invested now. Oh Yeah, he tricked 772 people into re-linquishing control of their web cams relinquishing control of their webcams. People like that's way more spying than I could ever possibly do. You offered these business 25% off at Bed Bath and Beyond.

They're like, ooo. People, I thought he targeted women. Yeah. As I go, you start saving porn. And then you just have this giant cat, like four terabyte cash. You're like, what am I doing? Why do I have this save? He was 60 years old, too. I didn't know boomers could hack.

Yeah, this guy was an old creepy looking mother fucker too. I guess the lesson of this is that if you send women a link, they'll click it. Yes. So whatever it is. Ah, you just clicked a contract that said you would have sex with me. Shopping my laundry like a huge waste of time though. Like most of the time you're just gonna turn on the webcam when he's the woman going like, oh my god, the new sex in this city is coming out.

Yeah, what is that? How many feeds you have to go through until you find anything interesting? Like if you had a girlfriend, she would love it if he watched her webcam all day. You're gonna watch her internet shop. Oh, this is so fucking hot. I never wanna know what he put on the link.

80's like a party. 80's like a beast reality were found. Well, I mean white women alone in a room. Just the 82. Yeah. Women love their dogs. He's like a giant. He's like the giant.

He's like the giant. He's like the giant. He's like the giant. He's like the giant. He's like the giant. He's not the guy that we deserve, but he's in a guy like that. B.C.L.ity were just the white chicks that he hacked fucking dogs. Yes. Yeah. He also deleted thousands of files. Oh wow. So it could have been worse, right? Yeah.

And he left the B.C.L.ity because that was fine. He's like, well, this won't be a problem. The rest of it, though. Judge Wallace, the offense is involved a gross invasion of the privacy of very many individuals. They can't call them women. Like, that's good. Because if it was guys, they'd be like, all right, whatever. Yeah.

That just could've just created it. Someone wanted to look at them jerking off finally. Yeah. Monster, baby. It's just non-consensual fish balls. What does this? Oh, man. Oh, man. jerking off finally yeah it's just non-consensual fish balls what does it the offending took place over a lengthy period of time and it was undertaken following a significant degree of sophisticated planning and preparation of

sending a link wow devastation well dick that does sound like quite a creep but let me tell you about a little man from Detroit, no one has the Dick Grabber. Now, the Detroit Dick Grabber. Detroit Dick Grabber. Grabbing Dick's all across the count. Jackin' it, Jackin' it, Jackin' it, Jackin' it, Jackin' it, Jackin' it, Jackin' it, Jackin' it, Jackin' it,

Jackin' it, Jackin' it, Jackin' it, Jackin' it, Jackin' it, Jackin' it, Jackin' it, Jackin' it, Jackin' it, Jackin' it, Jackin' it, Jackin' it, Jackin' it, Jackin' it, Jackin' it, Jackin' it, Jackin' it, Jackin' it, Jackin' it, Jackin' it, Jackin' it, Jackin' it, Jackin' it, Jackin' it, Jackin' it, Jackin' it, Jackin' it, Jackin' it, Jackin' it, Jackin' it, Jackin' it, Jackin' it, Jackin' it, would find you on a restroom you're trying to enjoy a piss burst into the stall and start grabbing your dick and no one knew I was at sexual was it some sort of I thought you were doing like a Christmas care no late one night the man came in your dick was in his hands what a sin uh hey burst into the stall look you're right in the eyes you start grabbing your dick He was immune. He couldn't even talk. Not I.

And you'd say, the dick grabber they knew, man. And he loved grabbing dick so much that when there wasn't a dick to grab, he would go out and find one. At one point, he found an 80-year-old man simply loitering outside of a restroom. And said, that is a dick. I would like to grab and grab this 80-year-old man and drag him in there. Hell to man. He just grabbed his dick.

Did he get the dick of the 80-year-old man? He grabbed the dick. Oh my God. I don't know if he tried to jerk these men to completion or if he just, I think it just like the feel of it. Now that would be weird. Yeah. Well apparently, I just grabbed my dick after months of serial dick grabbing.

Finally the 80 year old man being dragged kicking and screaming into the stall was a bit too much for local folk who chased him across the highway. Cops chased him for 80 miles until he finally ran out of gas. Thing is as they were trying to arrest him, he was still grabbing the dicks of the cops, getting his hand on everything. They put him in the back of the cop car, he's grabbing his own dick, but God is insatiable. And that was the mayor of Detroit actually, they found out. Sounds kind of like a public service, I think there's a bunch of guys who like to have their dick grabbed in a bathroom. Yeah, I was released on his own.

Because for a dozen like, they have their dick grabbed. I know. It's like, well, you go to the trough, and you're at the baseball game, and you're going to piss in the trough, and some guy comes up like, let me hold that for you. He was just helping out. I know what I appreciated. I'm left. I can still drink my white claw with that half of the tray. Well, I drink that one white claw.

Now I want my dick grabbed by men all the time. Tommy Dickrabber is is safely behind bars, but they say if he is released, he will strike again. All right. There's no stopping him. I'm going to bring my creep. And my creep is a guy that I knew very well. I graduated with him.

We played on a soccer team together. We went to Europe together to play soccer. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Is this wicked talking? No, this is me. Carl, what's up? What's up?

Did you play Carl? Yeah, I played. Did you play soccer? Did you play right, defense? I was midfield. Come on, no you weren't. He's got a club team. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Can you just answer me? Can you just answer me? Can you just answer me? Can you just answer me? Can you just answer me? Can you just answer me? Can you just answer me? Can you just answer me? Oh Can you just say to me spikes on the bottom of his feet? We're gonna save any you're trying to cut me off there. No, I just want to find out how the fuck you Foot you you fit your foot into a cleat. Oh, okay, so you also had club

Very funny stop guys. All right. So my creep is a guy named Lance Mitchell. Now Lance Mitchell, just a couple of years ago, decided to murder his stepfather and then burn him alive. Not burn him alive. That's actually very different. He can murder him and burn him alive. He murdered his stepfather and then burned him in a fire pit.

And he just recently pled guilty to manslaughter. In fact, just this Tuesday, he pled guilty to manslaughter. So let's admit to admitted the role in the death of William Mason, who was reported missing from his home on Westridge Road on May 26, 2021. Mason's remains were later found in a fire pit on his property. Sue Hickey said she's known since day one that Mitchell killed her brother.

Now Sue Hickey was my next door neighbor growing up. She still lives next to my parents. You guys know Sue Hickey, my brother now is Sue Hickey. Her brother was murdered by a guy I went to high school with. Nice. Now you have something to talk to your neighbors about. So no he was murdered, he was manslaughtered. Well I know he put guilty demands on it but listen to this. So Su says I think it's good to finally have some closure. We knew right from the start that he did it. He could have saved us a lot of anguish. His family anguish if he had told us right up front that he did it. He could have saved us a lot of anguish. His family anguish, if he had told us right up front that he did it that way. Or he could have not murdered your brother,

which also would have saved you some anguish. So I'm just throwing that out there. This is horrific at all. But anyway, the former guy, you know this guy? I know this guy. So this is what's funny about him. So he murdered his stepfather his actual father was such a prick He would stand on the sidelines. We were playing soccer and just yell things like you're playing like a girl Lance Hey Lance stop playing like a girl and I swear to God that's gonna take it so much Yeah, you're playing like a girl? All the time. Like Red Dragon, that real child abuse. Jesus Christ. I thought girls were good at soccer.

I didn't realize how's the problem. You're right. The former Air Force paratrooper said during an argument with Mason, his military training kicked in, and he broke his stepfather's neck from behind. Wow, that's awesome. Yeah, that's kind of cool. You always want to know if that works, right?

If I had to break a guy's neck from behind, could I do it? Did I snap your neck like a girl? Dude, if he checked, I want to see how many snap the guy's neck. That's not a creep, that's like fucking neck. That's not a creep. That's like fucking bad ass Well, you know this badass Rapes dad after before he broke down Guys sounds cool. It's not the cool off. Yeah cool If guys like the most popular guy in prison right?

What you do? I thought we had a man's neck like Chuck Norris. He's a stroke. If he could go back and take those seconds back in his life, he would 100% do that, set his attorney Frank C. Arty, who I also graduated with. That's how small a town I'm from. His attorney I graduated with, the victim's sister lived next door to me and that's my creep.

And actually Lance's sister Dawn who I also with the high school with was charged with evidence tampering and concealing a corpse because she helped Lance put him in the bot fire that they cooked a bed. So that's my creep Lance Mitchell my buddy from high school I played soccer with. Okay so Carl fails because he found a guy who committed the ultimate act of masculinity killing your own father. Which is just bad at it. Yeah, I'm a well-fanned as a father. Hey, stepfather, all right, fair enough. That makes his mother his wife though.

Yeah, practically. Yeah. Hey, Carl, how awkward is Zia? High school reunion when you go back and you're like, what do you do? And the guys like, I'm a high-profile Criminal defense attorney I represent murderers and stuff and you're like I have a podcast Yeah, but at least I don't fail have I podcast because that's the funny thing is that he pled guilty I don't think that's a great attorney

You know I'm not dangerous. I break her off the street, Carl. And the lawyer said the reason he put guilty was because it was in his quote, best interest. So we vote on these? Yeah. OK. You want to lead the vote? Or you want me to lead the vote? You do, it's been a year.

All right, ladies and gentlemen, here's what I want you to do. I want you to take that second thing about the creeps that have been presented. I am going to mention their names. Only clap for the one that you think is the creepiest We are playing for Braggers writes tonight. Do you think Carl's creep was the creepiest? No Now that guy's awesome. He was cool in base. I got was cool in base and sweet. All right, the man who grabbed an 80-year-old dick. Look at the driver!

Yeah! Normal behavior. You know, vote for him. He's coming tonight. Not cool. It's cool sometimes. No. It's cool sometimes.

The 70 year old, the 60 year old Batman, who got 70 women to click out a link so we can look at their boobs. Yeah! Yeah! Looking at naked chicks isn't creepy. man who got 70 women to click out links so we can look at their boobs. Yeah. Looking at making chicks isn't creepy. Don't hate the player, hate the game. Yeah. All right, or the chicken killer.

He should have had sex with them. I'd have a better chance. I think so too. Yeah. Did you want me to make that up for you? Were we supposed to just make up shit? Okay. We should have had sex with him. I'd have a better chance. I think so too. Did you want me to make that up for you? Were we supposed to just make up shit? Okay. He also fucked the chickens. There we go.

Yes, I got one more! The dick-rapper fucked more chickens than the chicken fucker. All right, how about a guy who threw his old kid at a wall five times? Boo! He cheated! He gave himself the best one! That's not fair! Jack, Jack! He gave himself the best one! That's not fair! Jack, Jack, you gave the baby a big bang!

Jack, you dumb fuck! You sandbagging Italian piece of shit! I'm gonna be a dick robber and keep the baby killer for myself. Full ship. Oh my god, he'll chickens, what do you guys do? He killed his own baby. Excellse your true believers. Congratulations Vinny, you won your own game. Good job buddy. Just having to go home now. Yes. It's like that Ben Sign Show.

Alright we've got problems. Oh no, we're supposed to do the crossover. Wait we're doing the thing first. We're doing the crossover and then we're doing problems. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. All your very important problems like Jews and Jews will have to wait. Thank you so much. I like them. You guys are killing it. That's not all the Jew cards. There's like, kind of them.

Don't you guys not to put Jews? Yeah. Okay. One of you put Israel, still the same thing. Not, come on. Motherfuckers. No, that's different. No Fine. Hey for playing the match game. I got one too The wayling

We could not do match game because we would all say Jews every single time would not oh we miss one Okay, I don't think we have it up for these. I don't have Jews. I just have you Don, I think yeah We'll get to these shortly, but okay, thank God we took the bucket away from these animals. Oh My god Some model fucking woman right there model of Model T. Yeah. Did you see the pink pearl stand? 15 000 on her. I see this woman alive. Ashley Graham is. Who's that? Ashley Graham? Her name is the beginning of Graham Racker. Hey Nick, what's up? Fucking headphones out of my mouth. I'm starting the

next segment. You got to put your headphones. There's a theme song being played right now, sir. I don't understand clips and preparation. I know, obviously. I know it's throwing a lot of people off on this stage. Guys, it is time for what you all came here for, hopefully. The Who Are These Podcasts, The Dictionary, Cross Over Events. So hot.

Whoa! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha- I have to say I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, I'm full, Whatever you're unlocking it in that I don't want to unlock it. Unlock it. How does it get worse? Ladies and gentlemen, we're going to start off with the Fettlet podcast and Mike Gail Ash. She's going gonna be showing off some clothing for us here and then we'll get into her podcast but I just want everyone to understand what's going on. I just hope there are enough pixels on this projector to see all of her. I'm not sure how this is gonna go.

Hi, I'm Cheryl, one of your fit guides with Super Fit Hero. I am an Infinifit, which is the 7X. And today I'm showing you a brand new color way in the Super Bowl material. So I am wearing the Pocket bike shorts and the sports bra, both in the new color charcoal. And I just love this color. It's so cute and it's like such a nice neutral. And it just looks so nice, right? No! By the way, that camera is 50 yards away.

It's like a melting hand with a built-in couch. And you can just throw a dress or a long t-shirt over and go out the door. Dog loves it too. This material is so smooth. I think that dog just fell out of her. I can play with my dog, and he also enjoys them, and we have a great time. I love these. Again, I'm Ash. With Superfit Hero, I'm an Infinifit.

And thanks for watching. So she churned Infinifat into Infinifit. That's really insulting. How is that word not fit on any level? No. That's horrifying. The How is that words not fit on any level? No, that's horrifying. The colorway is very impressive. Hey, I'm Ash with Super Fit Hero.

Hi, Ash. I am an Infinifid. Oh. Great name, by the way. No, it's not. And I wanted to tell you today about some of the things that I love about these superhold pieces. Oh, yeah, superhold. The first thing is the coverage and the underarm.

I hate when a sports bra cuts you right in half the arm. Between the arms and arm. I also love you. Can you cut you in half? It still be too fat chicks. She goes, I also love these pockets. Which ones? They're all over your body.

They hold a whole turkey each. I got my keys, my back, I got my wallet, and my thigh. I mean, how could you not buy this material, though? I mean, I don't know what NASA engineer could stretch that over anything without it ripping, but they should use it for netting to keep the Chinese workers at Foxconn from jumping off the building. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Nick, it's so stretchy that if they jumped down, it would propel them into space. The rebound.

Now they would just look down and remember that video of a fat lady, like, well, he's my life's not dead bad. I killed myself. I will say, if something you've come in with her, I wore black also because it is slimming. Same. If you're 700 pounds, if you wear a sports bra, like, is it still a sports bra? I don't have to call it a sports bra at that point. Intermierals broad.

Yeah. The perfect place to sash my phone when I'm moving around. And I love. What up moving around? What does that happen? I don't, I really don't understand how she can do this video because she's like 600 pounds. She'll be like me holding a piano and doing a YouTube video, right?

All right, so let's get into her podcast fat lip and On this episode of fat lip she is talking about the show my 600 pound life anyone ever see my 600 pound life. Yes Great show, right She call them amateurs. So Ash is so fat. She can't even finish her sentence while podcasting and then she gets a winded listen to those. Hello, welcome to the Patlet. The podcast for Fat People About Fat. I am your fat ghost Ash and... Pyfat people for FAP.

That's too many syllables. That's too much. That's not gonna make it. Alright, Zer podcast not by Fat People for Fat People. This shall possibly happen. Has she ever mentioned like, hey, I'm dieting or anything? No she hates dieting. Yeah. So she thinks that even thinking about the show my six-year pound life makes her feel very tired. I have been dodging this topic for four

years. The truth is that even thinking about writing this makes me feel very tired. It's a big complicated issue. I don't think that's what's making her tired. What's the issue that she's talking about? Oh, wow. Being fat. The issue is that this reality show is telling obese people they should lose weight.

Oh. It's a big no-no. That was bastard. In her world. Oh. It's a big no-no. That was bad, Sturge. In her world. Yeah. So I don't know why she said it's a complicated issue. It's not calculus. You're morbidly obese and it's bad for you.

Yeah. And you probably shouldn't be any more. So she's upset because she thinks the show profits from fear of fatness. It profits off its audience's fear of fatness and disability. And that's not even touching what it does the actual fat people it profiles No one's afraid of becoming 600 pounds. Well, maybe be that way Maybe I just started the olympic we're gonna be good. All right. He's afraid of trimming down to that Yeah, she's like it comes from fear of fatness. No, we think it's hilarious

This is a fear her stomach ate her vagina She went down herself without going down it's very impressive see I kind of want this to catch on though Because I want a reality show where there's a bunch of bad people and then a lady tells them you should eat more food You should eat more food. That's too big. You're beautiful. You'll get that. I want the, yeah, that's the thing we're going to get that show. We're losing.

All right, so let's find out why contestants, not contestants, I mean, it's a reality show. Why they go on this show. The people who appear on the show have applied to participate because they have become overwhelmed by their circumstances and are looking for help. To say that people go on a reality show because they're looking for help, that's like saying people go on the bachelor looking for love. No, they just want to be on television. They're not looking for help, they want to help they go to their doctor. Not a reality TV show, a TLC. Well, maybe they get a little boost.

What show is this? It's a show where big baddies, she's criticizing me. Yeah, she wanted to ask about it. My six and nine, nine. She ordered assay about it. Like the greatest show with Dr. No. Yeah, Dr. No. Who's like the luckiest doctor in the world. The guy who always knows you're lying to him

because you've gained 14 pounds in the last month. I don't know what happened. I do. His accent is fake too. Is it? Yeah, he says that just so we can say funny shit about fapping, you know. His face and accent. Why don't you figure that out? Right away. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do.

I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do.

I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do. I do.

I do. I do. I do. I do. I come in and bring her a consultation. Like three weeks and I say, no, you're too fat. You're too fat. Come back and then they beg. So we never give the fat surgery though, obviously. They just quit coming in because they're too fat. You have to have a plate of donuts in the entryway. Wait for them, like, don't touch it.

I'll throw it out. Don't touch it. I'm gonna get it out. All right, so guys, here's the big reveal. Ash was asked to participate in the show. What? Yes. But something happened a couple weeks ago. I got an email from a casting office. Date Thursday March 5th 2020 to Ash atethefallop.com. Subject my 600 pound life opportunity. Hi, Ash. My name is Gabe.

I'm a cat in the system working with TLC on their compelling docu series, My 600 pound life. So they actually found her on the internet and said, she should probably go out this show. Yeah, she's enormous. It's a compelling docu-see. Is it a kind of embarrassing that most people probably applied to be on the show? And she was actively scounded for being a big fat piece of shit?

By the way, if someone reached out to me and said we have a show called Toothiest Podcasters, I would keep it to myself. I would have a show called Big Stupid Fat Loser Moron. And you veto came up. Oh, man. Yeah, keep that shit to yourself. Fantastic. And you have to shower in the show.

You have to get a shot of you showering with a scrub brush. I would watch that. All right, so let's see what her reading skills are like. We know that she's fat, but is she also stupid? Each episode follows the whole idea of she's fat as they embark on a road to better health and make the courageous decision to change their world forever. Even her tongue is fat! So the fact that they reached out to her said hey do you want to be on this reality show?

What's devastating? Apparently at least one of these casting assistants and I suspect all them, based on the people who seem to have been targeted, went to write through the infant-infinifat hashtags and hit up anyone who appeared to be in the right weight range. When I heard this, I was both absolutely indignant and utterly devastated. So she created this hashtag in Finifat,

and now this show is using it to troll. She helped create the sponsor letter for her own people to recruit contestants and she's like I can't believe they would do this. Why? Of course they would do that. You started to go away to easily identify fat morons we can monetize. Thank you. In Finifat is the best fat insult that she could like it was beautiful. Right. All right. It implies that there's no end to how fat. How fat are you, all of it? Finifat.

All the time. A uncalculable number that you can't fathom. How many sizes you got? It's like the rebel without a cause, right? Fat. What are you fathening against? How many sizes you got. It's like the rebel without a cause, right? What are you fading against? How many sizes you got? I'm so fat but face closed when I'm in adjacent states. So I listen to this, this is Fade. Many of us still have a tenuous grasp of body acceptance and of the way our bodies look and move. Many of us would not be able to post

those photos without seeing their peers doing the same. So she's brainwashing fat women to take pride in their body shape and these people are undoing their fat asses online every day. They're beautiful and I'm saying. Damn you Disney! All right, so listen, this is not that your friends and family think that you need the surgery. They're just being assholes. I can personally vouch for how unbearable the constant pressure to do this feels doctors insist that it is a necessity.

She only in acquaintances suggested in passing is if I, a 600 pound person in this world, have somehow never heard of it. They know you heard of it. They just want to tell you to look into it. Is this the whole thing there? It's like, I know that there's orthodontists. You don't have to tell me they exist

a familiar with the concept, but this weight loss surgery that she's referring to, they're just starting any studies out there to tell us if it works or not. Long-term studies about the actual effectiveness of weight loss surgeries are incredibly limited. So basically she's saying there's just no evidence. Yeah, that it works.

We don't know that it works, I mean everybody loses and shit's on a weight, but like, yeah, that could be anything. Well's just no evidence. Yeah, that it works. No, no, it works I mean everybody loses a shit on a weight, but like yeah, that could be anything well the no evidence thing That's like yeah, there's no evidence that COVID-19 came from a lab. Yeah, but it did How much evidence do you need? Oh? Oopsy is this cool and Philly? All right, All right. The Chinese want to eat bats. How can we stop them? So this is hilarious because she's

talking about how a lot of times the people who get this weight lost surgery put the weight back on. And guess whose fault that is? Not the people who put the weight back on. Doctors are quick to assert that those who have been unsuccessful or who experience major complications are themselves at fault. Either for not maintaining their strict red nutrient deficient red starvation diets or... Did she just say that obese people are at risk

of starvation? These diets we're going to starve to death. Now I think you'll be fine. Yeah they do love that. Like eating like a normal person to them is just like eating whatever you want all the time. Whenever you're hungry. It is always crazy when they go, I have the same diet as anyone else. Six crispy cream donuts in the morning.

Yeah, literally. The ones that shit they eat, you're like, oh my god. I just want to know if that's happening. Are people getting the weight loss surgery and then following the diet and then starving to death? You're like, oh my god. I just want to know if that's happening. People getting the weight loss surgery, and then following the diet, and then starving to death. Does that ever happen to what time?

It happens all the time. It's all okay, it does. It's bad women in the street. It's dead. It's good. To death. You live near Skid Row. I guess you would know.

What's going on? So I have a new splash brush. The producers and doctors tell you the 600 pound person being recruited by Gabe the casting assistant that if you don't commit yourself to this journey and ultimately undergo this surgery that you will die unequivocally. You will die. We all die. You'll only die if you keep eating and rupture the sutures on your fucking small stomach. Like that's why you die, because you can't stop shoving food into their gullet.

You think that's bad for them? No. I think it's good for the earth. I think it's great. Beautiful at any size, Nick. This clip right here cracked me up. These compassionate heroes will save your life for the low, low price of your actual human dignity.

I don't think I need to say how all kinds of fucked up that is. She is saying that people who are 600 pounds have dignity? Is that possible? I say only thing. Again, there is nothing dignified about eating 12 Jimmy John breakfast sausage sandwiches every morning. Dignity doesn't have enough letters to describe fat people. So again, this is my last clip on here.

This is what she thinks. People are thinking when they see people are 600 pounds. Above all, we feel your deep seated fear that we might be your future. I have never once thought that I might be 600 pounds of day. Now, could I lose a few LBs? Yes. Will I get to 600? No. Dude, I'm like, I'm like a big fat idiot and I still look at these people like, oh man, I could never be that bad. Fuck the bull that I could eat that much if I want. Dude, it would be really hard to eat that much. It's expensive. Yeah. Also,

you need to be able to drive a car to get to the fast food restaurants. That's the thing that's confusing about it. It's like, none of these people have jobs. Who's buying it? It's always like their mom and dad. There's guys like feeding them. Yeah. I had a girlfriend who was a feeder.

No, it does that. Really? Yeah, but I found out years later. How'd you find out? She said, remember how I was a big fat piece of shit? She's like, yeah, she's like, I found later. I get off on it. I was a piece And I'm like alright what would she do where'd you meet her? I just met her normally But then like she found she was like I feel so gross about my body and I told her

Well, there's like online communities that think fat chicks are hot and she like went online and found it And then she found all these guys who wanted to pair to eat food. And I kinda ruined her life, I think. I'm not telling her about these communities. All right, guys. She put up a video of her, tried to climb up her stairs to her bedroom. Let's go.

Let's make it, folks. Oh, playing again, Dick, this goes on for a while. Give me that NFL song. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm playing the NFL song. It on for a while. Give me that NFS. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Normal man, the planning Everest. It takes, it takes a minute. Uh-oh, what happened to my browser?

Why do they do that? My computer sucks. Here we go. Go, go, go, go, go! She could, go! And here she goes, to the 50, to the 49, to the 48, to the 47, to the 40! She's back to the 49, Okay, you're losing ground here. That's gonna be a safety, folks. Berm.

Use your hands, you fat bitch. She crawling up the stairs. Well, to be fair, she doesn't have a rope toe. You should have played these first. You can do it you've got oh I forgot to lock the doors Someone might come in and rape me she's not there yet she's still going I wouldn't even rape you Isn't this the point where you go okay, maybe there's a problem here

If you need a jeep with a winch to walk up the fucking stairs? Stop eating. Oh my. Cut your tits up in fact, say. She have to take a break. She's like, oh god, I need to rest here at this landing. Just poke that like a, like a unflattering size. Those aren't polka dots. That's the pixels stretched out over a shirt.

That's interpolation. She didn't poke, she didn't! I believe I can fly! She's gonna reward herself with a whole lamb. Yeah, yeah, yeah, baby. What a trooper, folks. That jacket has to be drenched. Butter.

The determination and drive scene here today is that like a slimming bangs haircut that they got. Don't you get an apartment without stairs at this point? Yeah! You know what I'm saying? It's going to wrench! When your double chin is a neck brace, you're going to get a warning sign. I'm going to floor home.

It's going to field where everything's downhill, and roll over. And it's roll into your house. I use these bangs to block out the sun. I believe it. Wow, the determination on this woman. She lost four pounds doing this and gained eight afterwards. Jesus. Did she do that every day?

No, she does this once a month for her life. Alright. No, she does this once a month for her livestream. All right. What a trooper. I think we've laughed at fat women enough. Let's do real time to find the biggest problem in the universe. Let's do that. All right. I have a biggest problem in the universe right here.

And it's too small of condoms from Todd. Who wrote that? You, too small of a condom. You definitely do not suffer from, you have never had too small of a condom Condoms from Todd who wrote that you Definitely do not suffer from you have never had too small of a condom and you fucking live What are you talking about two small accountums? Why what's is it too tight on your On what his boyfriend on your head? You this is a Tanner setup you gay asshole fucking it. How big is his cock? How big is his cock? It's not that big, it's not a fucking fish that got away.

What are you talking about? How big is it? How big is it? Get it out, get it out. Get your dick out. Get your dick out right now. There's no fucking way you have to take it out get your dick out putting your dick in that's too tight We support the LGBT how big is your dick for real What a dick Thank you, girl. What did you say? What did he say, man? He translated for me? How What did you what did you say what did he say manny translate it for me? That's not how tight it gets are you a boner guy my shirt could be nine feet long. It's gonna get a tighter

Too small of condoms guys. What do we think is it the biggest problem in the universe? No fuck you. Alright go ahead. Okay I got Jews, Jews, Jews, Jews. He really does. I literally there's like ten Jews. You know what I'm saying? They're right. The next one was rap skits.

Yeah, rap skits. Great problem. Not enough Jewish influence on our young women. I don't know what that's about. At least some of the Jewish ones are creative in the problems with the past. We're random, by the way. Yeah, I need it not to just hand me the Jew cards. There's enough of them.

I would have done that if I had known. But here's the real problem. Is Tony not eating the damn chocolate? Tony, from back the movies, for some deep drugs everyone. Let's do it. I think that's illegal. Tony from back the movies for some deep drugs everyone. Let's do it. I Think that's illegal is it I think it's illegal to make a man pull out his penis a little live show I want to see that day

Maybe you're the dick rapper Carl you have some cards as well, don't forget. I didn't know. Here you are. The Queen of Matata. Kids crying on airplanes. We're at the Big Mom Matata. That's a good one. And not in a half inches. OK, you're culturally appropriating that penis, sir. Kids crying on airplanes.

You're going to need to give it back to a man with dreadlocks. Having an auditorium of fans and no shirt merch. Wow. That's Tony's fault. OK. Having an auditorium of fans and no shirt merch That's Tony's fault. Okay people who do That you drew those shares is like fuck that's a banger man How about white people White people Finally, man, he did you write that you piece of shit? We know what I wanted what I wrote that one guy there's always You got hold on I got a Foxy merch ladies from mr. Mabel

How's that a problem because they can sell your shirt? Yeah, exactly. They can tell you my shit How about Carl's autistic schedule Now that is a pretty good problem. Hey, that was mine Wow, you scheduled a lot I did I asked I asked yeah, you did I asked, I asked, yeah, you did too much. I asked Carl, I was like, hey, do you have PowerPoint on your computer that could run you? Because, like, what are you talking about? Yeah, obviously.

He wasn't sure if I had Microsoft Office. Yes, I do. He texted me this complicated schedule with timestamps and I'm like, I'm just a bit player here, man. When he, someone's just going gonna drag me on on stage. I'm just gonna show up and let people boo me. So I'm a time for schedules. Thank you.

What are you? You're hatred makes me stronger. You have cards? Yeah. Yeah. What do you got? What do you got? I've got live podcasts.

Yay. I also have live podcasts. So fuck you people. You're about that. You two guys fight to the death. Yeah, I also have a live podcast. So fuck you people. You're about that. You two guys fight to the death. Yeah, kill yourself. The winner gets to be a permanent co-host at my show. There's a third eye.

Live podcast and men. Oh, and you. And the third guy also, you fight. Also to the death. You're creative. Tepp Kru. I have no live show calls to prayer. We're not doing call to prayer.

Wait, we're not going to have a call. It's on you. No, no, no. No. God, fucking dammit. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Wait. Oh, wait. Is this where we get to 9-11 Philadelphia? Yes. The city of Philadelphia will follow me for my challenge as V-Max.

Hold on, I'm calling the Saudi Royal Family one second. Well, Dick searches for the colapur. Oh, bro. What a great problem. Normally got to give us 50 bucks I'll be whoever put that problem in about some fucking marriage and there was much to joy What do you find it? Yeah, yeah, we fucking go Please possibly add for liberty mutual Imagine not having YouTube premium.

Yeah, give it to me. Give it to me. Yeah, call the pern, I'll let go to the main. Please clap. Please clap. I'm going to have to make a big clap. Please clap. Oh, yeah.

Please clap. Please clap. Please clap. Please clap. Bito, you wouldn't have dropped out if it was French fries. Yes! You have a cheese steak? You have a Philadelphia Riggles? Would you have no Pokemon cards? Not one of you. How many of you have magic cards? It's the worst bit. Magic cards. Magic card. Magic card. No Pokemon cards at all.

You have creeps, chicken fuckers. Men with high school creep, father murdering, soccer player. Zero Pokemon cards. Magic is the only thing that drives you crazy. Alright. That's this is the first game. Driving crazy. Alright, that's our call to prayer. Insha'la folks. Insha'la.

Praise Allah. 72 versions to all of you. Alright, I have one here. It says, hot girls who refuse to post any cleavage in their picks. That is not a thing. If a girl is hot, she's not posting cleavage, she's probably not that hot. That's, I've never seen a hot girl not post cleavage picks.

I call bullshit. God, I love cleavage. I don't know what this one means. The broken window fallacy, but veto. Yeah, exactly. Totally, I got it. I got it. I do.

Totally true. Totally true. It's totally true. It's totally true. You can't put your finger on it, but it's a V-Dow. It's not me. Three hour long movies for fuck's sake. So long. What about four hour long podcasts?

No, those are fucks. No, this is good. You shut your fucking mouth, dick. Pedophile virtue signaling. What the fuck's that mean? Wait, who? Why did you so instantly react to that? Because I assume every pedophile related problem

is a dig at me for some reason. The fragility of genes. What is that even fucking mean? It's fat people now. Wait, what is that? The fragility of genes. The fragility of genes. How fat?

Who's suffering from jeans falling apart? Who's pants disintegrated here? Yeah. Dick, this is one for you. Not enough criminalized sobriety tank tops! I'm sorry. Who gives a shit? I'll draw some up after this.

This is guys, come on, you're going to be a little bit... People are petty. What are you fucking retarded with?'s still a Give me a real problem Like the Jews know And of course Vito doesn't get enough credit bullshit We know it. It's true That's your hand writing it's not my handwriting It's from a fan they love me and they know I need to be respected on the show more

What you got what do we got oh groups of three or more at the gym? Wait groups There's groups of three or how many more? Yeah, what do you mean there's groups of three or more? Everybody knows you never go full retail. You sure the gym and not the gay bar? Oh, the guy I'm sorry. That feeling of self-disappointment after jerking off.

Masterbay? Also spelling. Spelling is a problem on that one. Why is this written like a serial killer? Who wrote this? What are you jerking off to? Is my question? You wrote this? Medicare guy? Oh, no, you just you just bowing your head in a weird way. Who wrote it? It's a point, dad. Confess. You wrote it. How often are you jerking off? How often are you jerking off? You're out of your own. You're out of your own. You're out of your own. You're out of your own. You're out of your own.

You're out of your own. You're out of your own. You're out of your own. You're out of your own. You're out of your own. You're out of your own. You're out of your own. You're out of your own. You're out of your own. Disappointed you're doing it wrong. Yeah, you shouldn't, you shouldn't feel this way.

That's a you problem. Buy a mirror and give yourself a little self-affirmation after where it's going to be. Do some bicep, or like, I don't know if I've ever felt like disappointed. It was confident stupid. All right. You could have done something better in that.

Don't disappoint yourself. There's plenty of other people to disappoint. Yeah, there's enough people hard on men. You don't have to do that to you. I have e-thoughts keep following me online for my time and money. Who is that? Wait, whose e-thoughts are following you? You. You. Why? You've been catfished. E-thoughts are following you? Why? Come here. Come up here.

Good up here. It's not you? It doesn't make sense. It goes against the universe. What do you guys think about Poonjabi customer support? It's a pretty good one. I'm not going to lie. I keep getting these spam calls from a guy going, I heard you have a mortgage that could be,

and I can't get him to stop calling me, so I just keep him on the phone for a long time. I haven't been seen yet. I love it. I'm like, maybe I keep this guy on the phone for 20 minutes, and then eventually tell him to go kill himself and his whole family. He'll be like, all right, I'll put that guy on, do not call. But mostly I just end up screaming at that.

Trying to spread your voice into that guy. Like he's just, has a job and stuff. Yeah. He goes like, what's your name, what's your address? How old are you? And I'm like, yeah, my name's Bob, I'm 60, and I hope you and your whole fucking family can stop calling me.

Don't call me a homerun. I don't think it works. I can't get him to the stuff. Stepping in broken glass. Who's that? Oh, shit Bruce Willis. Yeah. Who stepped in broken glass? Why is it so like, or I'd still remember what you wrote on this client? Now, nobody. I need to speak, but I have a stammer. Who's got a stammer? Yeah, tell us all about it for 20 minutes. Ha, ha, ha.

Now? Nobody wants to fake like they have a stammer? How long are these microphone cords? I believe they're 25 feet, Vidal. Do you want to stretch them out? I want to go on the audience. I want to get some on the fly. All right.

Biggest prong. All right. We also have, yeah, all right. Get out there. What? Here's a curious one. John Faggins, Josie Dam, ATW. Some kind of zodiac sign is to... How are you guys feeling about fish tank?

What are you? What do you think? Josie's, Josie stands. Yeah? Damn, damn nation. Who's damn nation? No? What about John Salesield?

Yeah! Wait a minute, I wanted to, John, you're all John? John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John, John! You think you like John too, bro, right? How about that? I'm gonna be like, John, right? John, you probably like, right? Right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right. All right, I can put him to task now, Dick. Do I have any other problems?

Sir, sir, sir, sir, sir, sir, fuck you, all right? Live show. What is the biggest problem in the universe? You, my small penis is what he said. Fuck you. All right. Who's got one?

Who's got one? This guy. What is the biggest problem in the universe? I'm two and one from an old show way back to the day. Bicyclers. Bicyclers, panel. What do you think? Fuck by cyclase.

I can't hear you. I'm a black. Why are you a lot of black? Why are you a lot of black too? Fuck by sick ladies Why are you gonna like to Tanner Hello you maggots Taylor Wands! The biggest problem in the universe is being the executive or in the state. It's fucking sucks and you don't get enough money out of it. Sister.

Amen to that. That sound is real. Well, Taylor, is that what you call a guy's asshole? I'm going to execute this estate. Yeah! I don't think this microphone cord is that long. You have to come to me. Come over here!

Come on, come on! He doesn't want to walk anymore. The biggest problem in the universe, panel, what do we got? I don't think this microphone chord is that long you have to come to me The biggest problem the universe panel what do we got sir what's your name? All right, also purple Purple is here purple what is the biggest problem in the universe? Tony not eating the fucking adibles. It's good point Eat those adibles Tony. Yeah, Tony. All right, all right, we got it. Sir, what's your name? My name's John.

And John, what is the biggest problem in the universe? Big government as represented by homeowners associations. Nice to get along. Nick, I mean, that's of the perfect Libertarian government, the homeowners association. Very small government, very few people there. Okay, hold on with you. Nick, I mean that's of the perfect Libertarian government, the homeowners association. Very small, very small government, very few people there. Okay, hold on one sec. Miss, what is your name? Sandy.

Sandy, beautiful Sandy, let's hear it for folks. Yay! Sandy. The four women in the audience. What is your phone number? No, what is the biggest problem in the universe? Having to work in corporate America and we're hearing aids. Having to work in corporate America and we're a hearing aid.

That's very specific. I think we all identify with that folks. Very every day I'm out there by thinking about that. Thank you Sandy. Sorry, my brother's phone is in the mirror. I'm Gabriel. And Gabriel. What is your name? I'm Gabriel and Gabriel. What is the biggest problem in the universe? It's the last eight half house. Not Gabriel at house.

No, it's the sink in the men's bathroom. It's horrible. But it's also pissed dribblets! Piss dribblets! Yes! Carl, how much more time we got here? I gotta pay a speaking of that. We're out of time Let's do a couple more than I want to bring a hand up to read some reading. Oh, we got a couple more sir

What's your name? I'm high guys on the discord. You're what on the discord? I'm high guys Hi guys and high downs one is the biggest problem in the universe? Lollie. Vito's only jokes being about pedophiles. No, they aren't. Fuck you. You can't, he's not a kid. Go ride.

Don't tell yourself. Sir, what is your name? Brian. Brian, what's the biggest problem in the universe? When my vlogs lose their shit, it absolutely nothing in the front door. Who lost their shit? My dogs your dogs losing their shit. This is a terrible segment get out of here. What the fuck is this? Can we get something relatable or any of you people human? One more Vita one more. Hold on all right this guy is very enthusiastic. Last biggest problem. The biggest problem is not riding your bike.

Let's be honest, come on! What? I'll ride the bike. Alright, that can't be the last one. Go! One more, we got one more! One more, we got another one in the bag. Can we get one that doesn't want to have sex with men?

I don't know who to pick. Oh my God. This guy's been waiting. Sir, what's your name? My name is Kevin Kevin. Please have a good problem. What is the biggest problem in the universe? CIA glow agents Bruin fucking glowies Let's retake America Wow Wow guys, all right and with them I went here and I went there Let's retake America! Wow.

Wow, guys. Alright, and with that, I went here and I went there. You thought that Manny's performance was done for the night, but it is not! Yeah! I'm Manny's mother. Just wanted to melt into the dark milk. Am I giving him the mic? No, no, this is inside I'm not gonna tell me about your father

Are you an actual redhead? I only wrote it for you So I could get it Hey, you had us, you like dancing I can supply it for my best Oh, hey it lose. Maddie, everybody. You remember this song?

First hand, I get up here, Hannah. Where did she go? She getting lost? Plus Bobcat. There's Tony's bringing her. All right, she getting in that store. Hand in the review girl, everybody. Let's hear it for.

Came all the way from Charlotte, North Carolina, to be here. I have a review girl, everybody. Let's hear it for. Came all the way from show in North Carolina to be here. Now, you're going to read reviews from the DIC show and who are these podcasts, right? I was thinking that I would do that if DICs into that type of thing. Oh, I'm not. I don't want to review the means. I thought you. Too bad. Even if they're good. No. I know even bit of UCB since Maddox got you banned, but yes, and. That's what fucks me up. I love to hear some reviews. Thank you, Dad. Thank you. I think this is the first time on this podcast I've ever had a microphone that works. Congratulations.

It's so impressive. I know. Philly for you. That's why the crowd is going to turn on you because of my quirks. All right. Well, you know, as I like to live my life, I like to live reviews. So Dick first. All right.

I see what she did there. Yeah. I got a couple for you. So I'll read the review and then tell me how many stars you think it is. One out of five. This is from Mitch K, 0176. It's called Homo.

I think my nephew broke my eye. Broke my what? eye my eye with big Five stars. Yeah, yeah, yeah five stars Thank you All right, this one is from profit profit All right, this one is from Profit Profit. We've got a gay pride flag and the Jewish flag, sometimes funny, but mixed with some dumb boomer takes, Jewish flag, gay pride flag.

That's for me? Yeah. Jewish pride flag and a gay pride flag. You got two of both double trouble. Oh Yeah, what about their emojis? What do you think I think that's one star probably no no, because they said they like some things Some boomer takes I say two two stories five stars

I would say two, two stories. Five stars. Oh! That's great. Alright, and the last one. This is from a bloodqueer. Five stars. Yes. It's called yes, small face.

Yes! Wow, five's across the, small face. Yes! Wow, vibes across the board, dude. Vives across the board. All right, now you go plusy second. Is that what your joke was? After Dick first? Yes. All right, I get it.

These are my reviews. It was actually asshole second. Oh, okay. I'll take that. All right. What an asshole! And what an asshole I am. All right. No. All right. This is from Drive-Anne.

Stumbled into this one while searching Hentai recipes for non-conforming, quad-se sexual paralyzed athletes. And I nearly spit my soy milk white claw martini all over my fur babies. Like, go die. You guys are disgusting. I can't believe the amount of insensitive dog whistles I was able to identify. They must really be into like, nuns or something.

That sounds like a five star review. That's a five star review. Yeah. Thank you. And sure is. All right. And you've got a little too excited for one five star. Get one drop for a review.

I can't wait. I'm sorry. I already did it. This is by ID Becker for my friend Vic, who couldn't be here today. We miss Vic. We miss Vic. Because he's dead?

No, Vic, the review girl. Oh, Vic. She's actually out at sea. She's in the Navy. She's in the Navy. She wanted to be here. Yeah. All right.

So I've got one for Vic. She's serving our country. Yeah. All right. So I've got one for Vic. She's serving our country, Vic. She is. In many ways, more ways than one. She's back! Russia. All right. Vic is the reason to tune in.

Not only is she easily not satire and nine out of ten, but also she's genuinely funny, such a killer body. If you haven't creeped on her, then you're missing out. Great ass and deadly with the Tomahawk. I'm considering joining the Patreon just to Holler it. Wow. Wow. I will say that I think that her boobs are her best asset, but I will take that and it's a five star. That's a five. Yes. Thank you very much.

All right, I've got two more. All right, that's enough. All right. This is from Hula Girl 86. Wait a minute. Is that you Vita? I never kissed until. Musted. All right. These guys think Pidastee and Zufili are funny. Sometimes.

Is that the whole review? Yeah, that's the whole review. All right, I'm going to guess it's a one star. There's got to be a one star here, so I wear right? It's a five star. Oh, shit! Oh, shit! All right, and for the last review of the night, this is from Geriatric Attack. This podcast is like listening to your girlfriend take a massive dump.

It's the verbal equivalent of watching the escapades of a sex-addicted AIDS patient. That is definitely a 5-star review right there. Yeah! Wow. Hey, how do the review girl everybody? Thank you so much. Thank you. And thank you all for coming out tonight.

Thank you for coming out to Philly. Thank you for not killing yourself. Again. Thank you for And thank you all for coming out tonight. Thank you for coming out to Philly. Thank you for not killing yourselves. Thank you to Carl, Vita, Vinny, run out here, do a little laugh, and Johnny. Do a little laugh. Yeah, take a break. Let's get them all out here. Jenny Jango.

Bruce or Chris. Magcogs, thank you. Let's get out here, everybody. There he is, Tony. Pelt him with eggs. Ha, ha, ha. Make him eat the chocolate. So ask him if he has any other clothes.

I've only ever seen him in that outfit. Yeah, what is it that he has practiced? Ask him why. Post offices are open all day. All Saturdays. Thank you. Why don't you pick up your own stuff though? I don't have a card and Philly. I sent it to him. And especially Wicked. Let's hear it for Wicked. Sure, Wicked.

Everybody. E up, no. Please, sure this is a good next time. And by the end of the episode, we find out what to throw. Who is this podcast? Sleep well, everybody. I can't not live, settle in now Chosen plates are really for the handful that I don't know That's what we've come in, I can't breathe when I hold on to them and they're my kids you