Who Are These Podcasts? - Ep42 - The Tell Show

Episode Date: December 22, 2016

We're back after a short hiatus for Kevin getting the plague.  This week it's Buzzfeed's The Tell Show Podcast that we listened to and boy was it a doozy.  We kind of go all over on this episode and veer off onto tangents that are neither interesting or entertaining but somehow are way better than the podcast we are reviewing.  Also, Kevin trots out his half-baked Nic Cage impression and Karl and the WATP Jingle Dept. debut their latest hit jingle for us.  Come listen before you have to spend time with your family opening presents filled with socks and chocolate oranges. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hello and welcome to another episode of Who Are These Podcasts I'm Kevin and I'm Carl and we listen to podcasts so you don't have to. We want to remind our listeners you can visit us on WhoAreThese.com or on our Facebook page. We're always looking for new podcast suggestions so leave us a comment or post a death threat. On today's show we review it a show called The Tell Show. As always we have listened to the episode separately.

We have not discussed it with each other beforehand, so without further ado, please join us as we find out once and for all. Who are these podcasts? It's show time. I'm a W-A-T-P! W-A-T-P, we're back everybody! We're back slapping her. It's coming at ya. Back slappers on the board. Yes, we're back. I apologize.

I was out sick for a few days. I'm still kind of recovering if she can hear my voice a little bit. So I'll be drinking a lot of water and making a lot of gulping noises during the podcast today. Which is good because we listen to a lot of other podcasts that do that. We always think that's a great element. Yep. So I'll make sure to do it and leave it in. I won't cut it out. I'll be like, right. Well, the other thing you want to do, Kevin, because I listen to a lot of podcasts, so you want to make sure that Mike's really like inside your mouth as you're drinking. Walkie, walkie, walkie, circle, my mouth. You want everything audible, especially the fluid going into your mouth and down your throat.

Oh, fluid. Yeah, you really want. Let's see how this sounds. Here we go. All right. Yeah, you nailed it. Let's see how this sounds, here we go, we go. All right. Yeah, you nailed it. You nailed it. In fact, that reminds me a lot of next week's show that we'll be reviewing,

but that's a little tease for the tease that we'll be playing at the end of this show. Ooh. This week, we'll be reviewing another Buzzfeed show. Last week, we listened to the Lena Dunham podcast. Can we get an email from Lena Dunham or her people yet? Yeah, um it said that yeah she's like it was something about abortions or something I don't know I didn't really pay attention to it but we'll see.

Yeah we we were not kind of lean a done in last week or whatever week and a half ago, last time we did a show. And that was a Buzzfeed show. So we picked another Buzzfeed show to listen to. And this week, we listened to the tell show with host Isaac Fitzgerald and Summer Ann Burton. They had a special guest on Lemorn Morris, who is a character on the new girl, the Fox sitcom. And he does season some random movies as well. So, Kevin, I picked the show

because I got the sense that BuzzFeed had no idea how to create podcasts. Was I right about that? You were 110% right about that. Yes. Okay. Good. Good. Good. So let's get into it. I have a clip on here that I think does a good job of summing up the entire episode that we listen to. I call it, there's nothing about this clip that I don't hate.

Play track four. So our guest today is Worm Morris. He's so funny. He's so great. We were so excited that he agreed to do the show. And we were able to interview him on a recent trip to Los Angeles. City of Angel. All right. So when do you want to start talking about her Lisp? Oh, yeah, she's she is not a broadcaster. Yeah, do you know what her job is at Buzzfeed? Um, I don't know.

Tell me. I was doing a little research on her. She's the asshole who writes fake stories for advertisers and then puts them on Buzzfeed as if they're actual like legitimate articles. Oh fuck, she's, she's that shithead. So it's like, wow, it's amazing. Lego sells it's one million, you know, non-sense fucking thing. And that's an article on Buzzfeed. Like, wait a second, this is a commercial for Lego. Why'd you have to pay them like that? Got me at plus speed. Sorry, I...

You know what I mean? Yeah, no, the fake news thing is obviously in the real news now, because it's like people are trying to clamp down on it and shit. Well, it's the fake news. It's sponsored content, I guess is what it would be called. Right, but the fake news thing got me the other day Oh, yeah, yeah, no Mike my girlfriend put she She texted me a link and it says New Star Wars movie shooting an oral valley, which is where I live in Tucson

Where you live in or all Valley? No, or oh, oh Shit, that sounds amazing. Yeah, orro. Oh, orro. Is it going shit? That sounds amazing. Yeah, it's blow jobs aplenty. I'm going to go down to the valley oral valley. No, but it was like from a website from like a news site. I news and quotations. Right. So, you know, my first thought is, what and it's like it says the article's like, oh, you know, we need, they need well, and it's like it says, the articles like, oh, you know, they need extras and it could be filming here next year because they like that the area is blah, blah, blah.

And I'm like, oh, you know, it's kind of desert year-round here. So maybe they're doing something. And then I did a little bit more research because in the article, it says, you know, it just tells what you think in the comments below. And then I scroll down and there's no comment section. I'm like, that's kind of weird. So of course I share it to Facebook because I'm a fucking idiot. I'm like, I fucking live here and this is awesome. Star Wars is coming. And then as I'm doing more research on the page, I click on the About page of their website and it's like,

this is a parody site, this is fake news and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, come on really. Oh, so you, so you fell for like the onion. This wasn't even trying to be real. They're, they're putting it out there that it's all fake. Well, yeah, I mean, they put it out there, but it's not, it's, it's subtly out there. Like they have news on the site and it's, if you do, you know, like, there, but it's not, it's, it's subtly out there. Like they have news on the site. And it's, if you do, you know what, Kevin, if it makes you feel any better,

I posted this article on my Facebook page the other day. It said that Donald Trump is actually an alien. They came to this planet three thousand years ago. I was like, see, I told you. Well, that I do believe. He is a reptilian. The audience, you only want to tell her the truth man. No I'm like I'm doing all kinds of like homework and shit I'm looking at and doing

I'm like what the fuck is going on with this. I look at the domain it was registered five days prior. Oh my god. All right something's fishy here. I knew it. Look up to who is it just says Putin. Son of a bitch. Got me again. I thought you know I was going to be able to like have Ren stay here, you know Mark Campbell could come by. Anyway, uh, Kerry Fisher looking for a place to crash. Well, that's true. That's just true. crash. Well that's true. That's just true. That's funny. So I guess my clip to sum it up would be and it's I named it Lisp and fake laugh. So you'll get the

gist of it here. But we're gonna talk about first times because we're always optimists here at the Delta. Did you hear all those S's? Yes, well, first time she's like Sylvester the cat. Well, I wasn't as keyed in on her list as I was at Isaac's fake laugh as you point out. Yeah, I have an ISO called Isaac fake laugh. I think it's that exact same clip.

Go ahead and play that. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha. And I heard that, Kevin. I was like, oh my god. Do I know this guy? Do you know who Isaac Fitzgerald is?

Do you heard it for? I've heard the names sounded familiar when I looked them up to see what their pictures were and stuff. He didn't look familiar, but I don't know what is actually he's actually super famous. You're going to be you're going to be like, Oh, no shit. I should have known that. Play the track I have on here called Isaac is famous. I Did you know that was him I did not know he was a Fucking laugh is ridiculous. It's quite a deep pole Anyone under 30 is gonna be like what the fuck that I just Top selling out move all time come on

Come on, you're fucking break a deep ball Oh my god, so okay This show so I guess they make it sort of like a game right so You can tell stories Right about about whatever this was a senator unlike your first time. I think that that's what the kind of theme I think to this episode was because they talk a little bit about first times of things. So sure. And I have this was just driving me nuts and it's making me Think about the way I talk on this podcast. I say like a lot to but listen to how many fucking times this person says like Okay, I ran with an older crew, you know, basically

I was almost like their mascot in this weird way like they were like all like 18 and like we're cool and like drank into drugs and I just like got to hang out with them and so there was like worse than Lena Dunham last week with a life. You know what? It's funny to say that I was listening to the show and I was hearing that again and it always drives me crazy and I thought about pulling that same clip and going over it but it's a broken record at this point how many times can I point out people say like too often so I didn't even bother I'm glad you pulled it and I'm glad to start to bother you as much as it bothers me because it's annoying. They say like as much as I say fuck it which is really annoying.

much as I say fuck it, which is really annoying. Yeah, I, I realize now how much I do it and I hope I don't do it as much as this guy does in normal speed when I'm talking to someone. Oh, yeah, you trust me. Nobody does. Okay, good. Nobody does except for the chick I deleted down in the show last week. That was the worst thing I've heard. But that portion that you were just playing, he's talking about the first time he ever drove a car. Right. And I have a few clips to play. Let's start from the beginning. This one I call forced unfunny conversation just to give you an idea of the a forced is the bus word banter between these two hosts. Right, you'd expect like 16, got my driver's permit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but actually I was 14. This is funny because it's like you were like you

would expect me to be 16. It's like no, your Isaac Fitzgerald. I would expect you would be like eight. I was three years old. Yeah, it's just not funny. So he's talking about the first time he ever drove a car. He's 14 years old. And this is what makes Buzzfeed podcast suck. We listened to the other show where there's all this production and music beds play track to and then I'll tell you why this is just so annoying. And so when we got to his truck, he was just like Isaac Isaac you got to drive. I think you can do this like no problem and then just like proceeded to pass out in the passenger seat. I pull away down the sturt road and luckily I get to kind of keep on backwards for a while and just kind of

get a hang of it. They randomly drop in the theater of the mind sound effect bullshit that adds nothing to the show. Yeah, I actually kind of don't mind that. I kind of like it. And there's a couple, like one of my favorite podcasts of all time does this a lot too, where they'll be telling stories and we'll just kind of randomly drop sound effects. And it doesn't bother me I guess the reason why it bothers me is because I I At it audio all the time for our show so when I hear it

I can hear where they like spliced him at the end of the sentence put in the sound effect and then popped him back in Here's another really good example on track three. I call this Sound effects that subtract, not add. They literally, the person who's doing the production on this takes out the part where he talks about the cops pulling him over and they put into sound effect instead and it just makes it awkward. Play Track 3. And I'm driving and of course all of a, my heart is in my throat. I just assumed I was going to jail and then I watched as the police officer kind of exited his vehicle.

Yeah, the color door is so stupid. But it's like, you know, I'm hoping that I'm okay. Woo hoo! I'm just going to buy the heart and say, my, no one talks like that. They're not capturing the way that you want to listen to an audio show when they do that. And I understand the production value.

I think you can go all in with that sort of thing. Obviously we've listened to a couple of these drama podcasts where it's just all fully work. We're just funny too. But it's very random where they just decide to pop in a sound effect is if they have a soundboard as large as ours And they said I go and then I was watching the Simpson, you know, I think it's like Homer making a sound effect We just have a couple things Exactly we just have a couple things that we can do

Officer I don't have my registration No, god, oh, I'm sorry, officer. Let me see if I have it in my glove box. Oh, God. If this is Kevin starring in the Rodney King story. Oh, yeah, I have, I have some good ones here. They only apply to certain scenarios, but okay okay the cops coming up to the car and I don't know why that applies but Because if you've ever seen Betty hell, you know that there's a bunch of hot chicks and hoarity and shoes

So I was right on the way from the cops and then he started punching me and Then Pee we her Herman was there for some reason. I love that story. Maybe this is a good idea. Alright. This is actually the way to go. We're going to start doing this on our show. And I was listening to David Lee Roth on the radio. I like it that we do it in real time and it's nothing. I like that. So Kevin,

you were mentioning that they play a game show. It's almost like a game show style vibe with the celebrity guest. They play a show called Never Have I Ever. And they explain this, never have I ever as a game where you say something you've never done. And if someone you're with has done it, they have to drink and explain what they did. So they weren't doing it with the drinking, but they told the guest, Lamoran, that this is the game they're gonna play.

And he says, oh yeahan, that this is the game they're going to play. And he says, oh, yeah, I played this game, you know, usually I play it in a hot tub with lots of hot chicks. And we'll start like asking questions about crazy things. And then it'll turn into us doing those things the way he explains this game. You're like, yeah, that sounds amazing. And then as soon as he gets done explaining that, this is how they start off the show or they start off this game. Play track five. Never have I ever auditioned for a television show. I have.

Do I never in the bill? I'm getting that bell. They're talking to those guys who start out a sitcom. And they're like, you never have ever audition for a television show have you I have boy these are these aren't tailored to the guest are they Playing the game that you might as just be like tell me about a time you audition for a TV show, right? It's fucking stupid never have I ever been in a scene with Zoe Deschanel Right, oh, I actually have a show. Yeah, it's really stupid. Another clip that's not far not long after that. Play track six.

What just for our listeners, what were you doing before that? So I love this because Isaac's asking him before he was on the sitcom, what he was doing. He goes, you know, just for our listeners, here's a quick tip for you, Isaac, everything you do on your show should be for your listeners. No, I'm going to ask you a question. Just for the listeners, this isn't for you and me having a conversation. Is that because you're recording a show right now? Is that why you're asking a question?

It's for the listeners. I didn't understand that at all. Yeah. The whole thing is like they're, I don't know if they're on set with them or what, but they're on, they're in a different location because they introduce the interview and then they're like, okay, so, you know, we spoke up, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

And then they're in a different location for this interview. And it's like, I can't imagine as an actor, whatever, you know, being on set and having BuzzFeeds, the tell show, show up and be like, oh, god damn, I gotta fucking do this for 10 minutes now or whatever. I got to talk to nobody's in front of no one. Right. Right. And it's funny you say that because I actually wrote a note down.

They talk about, we're going to play this interview that we did with Lamorne. This isn't a live show. They don't have to say, here's the interview we did, and we're going to play that now. They could have easily just segue into it and made it seem like a seamless show. But instead, they recorded the beginning and end, I think in New York, and then recorded the interview part in LA and made it awkward. I don't understand that whole thing. Yeah. There's a lot of shows.. Yeah, there's a lot of shows. I mean, I hear a lot of shows that do that

where they'll kind of attack a beginning and end down there or run an interview that's pre-recorded, but. Well, if it's a TV show, it makes sense, because it's obvious. Or if it's a live radio show, it makes sense. You say, hey, about a record of this earlier, we're gonna play it now.

But on a podcast, you don't have to do that. No one knows when you recorded this or where you were. No one gives a flying fuck. Just play the show. Act like it's the seamless thing. I don't know. To me, that bothered me.

Maybe I'm being overly critical. You are. No, I'm just kidding. Well, I real quick, speaking of that, Kevin, I want to get into we got a nice note from a listener. Oh, yes, yes, I want to talk about that. So we got a submission on our website and we encourage everyone to go to who are these calm. There's a forum on there where you can let us know what you think about the show and give us podcast suggestions. We got a nice long note that came in from a listener in the UK, MP Stevens,

and for the no agenda fans out there, he's pre-night of the living dead. He's a fellow no agenda show producer as am I. And he wrote us really really nice note it starts with dearest bag slappers Which I loved that we've become bag slappers. Yeah, it makes me very happy But he he said in here he starts it off with I don't do iTunes reviews So I wanted to send a quick email to let you know how much I'm enjoying the show which is really nice But he gave us a couple of reviews from the UK that I have not seen. I don't see these iTunes reviews in the US. And there's two reviews.

One of them is five stars. And the person says this podcast has great comedy aspects and two brilliant hosts that throw hilarious banter up for the throw hilarious banter for up to one hour Very cool. We appreciate that and then this other one I love We got a one star review that says these reviews don't seem to be actual reviews more like two grown men Ripping on people having fun. This is just bullying just stop or be nicer I love this review because It makes me so happy.

These reviews don't seem to be actual reviews. Ah, you think? Right. Maybe this is just our gimmick to have a show that we goof on shitty podcasts. I don't think these guys are actually trying to literally review shows at all. And if you like it, put any work into this at all.

Well, why don't they ever like the shows that they listen to because we pick a terrible show. Sorry. Yeah, it's like a retard. But I love the, just stop or be nicer. Can you imagine if we had a show where we were just nicer? And we were listening to this Buds feed show. And we were like, well, I mean, these hosts,

they're going gonna get it. They're gonna figure it out. You know, some of these questions are pretty good. I enjoyed it. All right, so next week we're gonna listen to. Yeah, I mean, I don't know if people think that they're gonna do. No, I understand like, if we like an aspect of a show

that's generally shitty, we'll say it. I mean, I'll say it if I like something about something, but it's typically, you know, what you said. We pick shows that we know or we assume are going to be pretty fucking ridiculous. I mean, that's the reason why it's called Who Are These Back Hats? I mean, like, who do these people think they are that they could have a show? That was the whole kind of premise when we don't think we had to explain this, but it's amazing that we do. Well apparently, yeah, apparently we do. Apparently we do. I mean, so yeah, that article or I'm sorry, that email was really really cool though to get from the UK and

or I'm sorry, that email was really, really cool though to get from the UK and. It was. I actually want to read a couple of parts. It was it was like, I can't read the whole thing. I do want to read a couple of parts of it because I thought this would be interesting to delve into. He says, I'm wondering Carl, what it's like to find out through doing the show that your friend and show co-host

Kevin apparently shares many qualities or interests that you find so intolerable in the podcast host you review. Guys, I feel like there's some deep, awkward, uncomfortable re-evaluating of your friendship happening on the unconscious level. As a listener, it's psychologically and clinically fascinating. So I want to address that because there are a lot of times that I'm like, Kevin, what?

You fucking do that, that's crazy. As far as, you know, asking the question of, you know, what it's like to find these things out about Kevin, Kevin and I talk once a week while we do a show together. So, you know, we look pretty far away from each other. I find it very entertaining. Yeah. Yeah. Well, and some background too, we've known each other for a shit in a lot of years. So I mean, it's, I always remember before he was in the laggo though. So yeah, yeah.

Something's that weird. No, but I mean, we grew up, you know, a few houses down from each other. So I mean, we've known each other for a long time. We kind of know each other's humor and style and where we come from. And I mean, it's all whatever. I mean, I don't get off this podcast and be like,

what the fuck, man, what do you rip on me for Lincoln Lego? Like, I don't, I don't know how you are. And you know how I am. So, I'm exactly. I think it's funny that he's wondering, and I don I know how you are and you know how I am. So I'd exact I think it's funny that he's wondering and I don't know serious he is wondering if it's affecting our friendship that we're discovering these things about each other. It's nice. It's all good. But that's a funny question. The other thing that he says on here,

which I have to pull out because it's buried, but I like it. My favorite bit so far was Carl launching into his black dude impression right out of nowhere. So that was not my black dude impression. There's a guy Leon who is in the studio and he pips up from time to time. So I just wanted to let you guys know that's not me. That would be ridiculous. Yeah, Leon. Is he there today?

I don't know. I mean, I didn't even ask you. What you mean am I there today? All right, Leon. You know, he knows. He's here. And he's so angry sometimes though. He's very angry.

He's been drinking Schlitz all day. He's very angry. And then he says, another thing that I highlighted from this note, really like that you don't talk about yourselves too much. I do too. Thank you, M.P. That is true. I love that we don't talk about ourselves too much. I'll tell you what happens when you start talking about yourself too much. I have a track on here that I call Isaac Shut Up No One Cares. This is Isaac Fitzgerald. On episode 10, season one of his shitty tell show Buzzfeed podcast talking way too much about himself. I think I'm very happy with where I'm at, but I'm learning to grow in ways that I feel like are going to change

that. And even though I'm happy and content, it's about going through this difficult stage where I'm learning that it's okay to grow and to change even if that means you're maybe going to make some things unstable in your life. So really acceptance is what I'm working on. Oh, yuck. What a dupe. You know what I like to grow, giggos, between my legs, ew, I learned the grow.

What a douchebag. I don't know why he felt the need to share that nonsense with everybody, but that's what we try to avoid here. Well, it's a tell show. It is the tell show. Could you imagine if we had a show that was called Kevin and Carl talk about the sounds? Who the fuck was that? It's pretty much what this is. Now we're gonna get an email like, we wanna know more about you guys. Tell us about how you guys used to grow up near each other and all the stuff that you guys didn't like at school and stuff.

Maybe we'll get that now. Maybe that'll be a new thing. It'll come in from Guam. I'd be surprised. I'd be surprised. Yeah. I'd be surprised. I'd be surprised. I like that you think the UK is similar to Guam. Well, it is an island. He's third world. Oh, he's true. Oh, he's crazy countries like the UK and Guam. Yeah. Smiley. I've never been out of the country. I don't know if you think about anywhere else. So, so here's another thing that that he writes in his

know, and I know I'm reading a lot from this, but this I wanted to point out. He says, can people contribute? He's asking about taking donations and things and wondering why we, we don't accept donations. Um, we will, you know, whatever, send us a check, but he says, can people contribute in other ways, jingles, for example? And I told the jingles department about this and it ruffled their feathers at that. They're really? Yeah, they're like, wait a second, we do the jingles.

I said, well, I don't care who does the jingles. If you're not producing, we'll get people who do. So the answer to your question is, yes, we would love to accept Jingles from the listeners. If you guys want to create content for the show and send it to us, we will play it. And if it's good, that's awesome. I'd love to play good Jingles.

If it's bad, even better. We love to play shitty content. It's really the whole promise of our show. So please create Jingles. Yeah, I should add to like if you if you If you want to send stuff Like that. You could do it for the contact for them. I don't know if there's an attach on there, but We do have Kevin at who are these dot com and Carl with a K at who are these dot com as well. So you can email us there Yeah, email us.

It's attached here, your MP3 will put it on the show. What I liked about this, no, is I shared it with the Jingles department and it got them motivated. Competition is a great thing. When they found out that, wait, are people wanna write Jingles? They snapped right to it. We have a whole new jingle to air on the show today Kevin I'm very

excited about it okay sorry let's let's go ahead and debut uh bag slappers in charge two boys in the neighborhood they're on the couch and they're sporting hood They're on the couch and they're sportin' good. I heard your eyes cause it's something you shouldn't see. You should take it from me. Cabin and Carl slept in bags day and night. Slapping back to the lift and the right. They won't see five stars on a Tuesday. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha the backslap or thing will not go away. No, it just lends itself perfectly to you, parody. It does.

Well, I really don't know where that came from. We had an iTunes review where someone was goofing on us for goofing on another show and telling us that the show we were listening to were not just a couple of bag slappers out of couch and we were like, wait, are they in situating that we're the backslapers on the couch? I believe that we're the back slappers on the couch? I believe I was. I think they were.

So that's we've got to take it out that mantra and the Jingle department can't get enough of it. They love that we're back slappers. Oh God. What do you think Scott Bale would think of that? That song. Fox Scott Bale. What do you think Nicole Egert would think of that?

Ooh, I don't know. Do you remember Charles and Charles was Nicole Egert from the 80s? Yeah, of course I do. Was there a hotter person on television? I mean, Webster was OK, but Nicole Egert was the hottest chick on TV back then. She was pretty damn hot.

I don't know if there was a rival. Was that the same time as Baywatch was on? No, she was on TV back then. She was pretty damn hot. I don't know if there's a rival. Was that the same time as Baywatch was on? No, she was on Baywatch though. She did not on Baywatch, right? But this was for Baywatch. Yeah. Oh my God, I can only imagine what was going on and 80 sitcom world with Nicole Eiger.

I'm guessing light kissing on the cheek. Maybe some handholding. I'm sure Scott Beow is balls deep in that many times. Chachi. Chachi was in our Chachi. So thank you for offering jingles because it got people motivated, but if you do want to create jingles, anyone out there, please send them to us. We would love to hear what you guys can create for the show. Yeah, and I'd like to also add two. If anyone out there in the audience of 12 is good at doing graphic design or anything like that. We'd always

are we're interested in and stuff like that too. So I mean if anybody's interested in maybe doing like a logo or a podcast logo or something like that feel free. That'd be that'd be awesome. You know if you guys want to give back somehow, that would be cool. They say that in radio and I'm assuming it's the same for podcasts, they say that in radio, when you're a broadcaster, you want to make the listener feel like you're having a one-to-one conversation. So you shouldn't say things like, hello, everybody, or hey, everyone out there, you should be having a one-to-one direct conversation.

So I just want to say to Joe Hines, if you are someone who can create content for the show, yeah please submit that content to us. Yeah, Joe Hines, if you can draw and we know you can, Joe Hines. If you can draw and you can do some graphics for us Joe Hines, we would love that Yeah, that's just good broadcast the cabin. I don't know what to tell you it is now everyone's googling Joe Hines Is he make ketchup going on? What? What? What?

What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What?

What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What?

What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? All right, so let's play a couple more clips. There's a clip I have on here that's called Big Laugh into Commercial Break that doesn't exist. For some reason, BuzzFeed does these things

where instead of just letting the conversation go on, maybe they get off into tangents and they have to edit it. They'll put in these, what seems like commercial breaks, but it'll just like be a short music bed and then right back into the show. I'm going over the black line. So on this show we like have guests on and we try to get them to talk about stuff that they maybe haven't really talked about before. Yeah, I don't quite understand that music bed thing as a segue seems kind of weird. I also hated how summer and was came out of that was so on this like show we like to

get people to talk about things and like things and stuff So I'm the spot cast Oh holy fat It's honestly shit So this guy with more and more is I just do that thing I hate right right start the sentence with the word so I'll edit it out and put in like a and or something like that and no putting the DLR Every time I say so Every time I say so, every time I say so, just put that in instead.

All right, there's this part out here where there's this one track. Do I have to compete with DLR now? No, no, no, you're good. There's this one track, the guy Lamor and Morris, who I actually liked, of all the people on the show, I thought he was interesting. It's kind of funny. He told this one super racist joke. Play track nine. I haven't told anybody about it. Some of you guys, well, we really appreciate you sharing that story and my dad.

At the time, I'm kidding. I don't know that dude. Hey. Nice. At the time I'm kidding. I don't know that dude Nice all right. Yeah, that was kind of a funny joke This isn't at all related but during the The story that the Fucking asshole there is telling about being pulled over by the cops Yeah, Isaac. Yeah, Isaac, yeah. Yeah, this is a weird, I don't know, just listen. My heart is in my throat.

I just assumed I was going to jail and then I watched as the police officer kind of exited his vehicle and started to walk up and I think I want to say it's not right when he got up to the window. I think even as he started to walk up, I realized that I recognized him. And he was actually the guy that used to be my janitor when I was in elementary school. That's quite a from janitor to policeman. I just thought that was very interesting career ladder. Like I went from cleaning up vomit on the sidewalks to cleaning up, you know, scum of crime.

Elementary school, Janather, all you do is clean up piss and puke all day long. And these to have that, that sawdust stuff. Yeah, it was like that orange dust. Yeah, I was like that orange Some yeah, I remember some kid would always just pee on the floor when you're in first grade And you're what you do it, dude? You want you just peeing on the floor? What are you doing? And then the guy who's come in these I'll piss off this life like God Jesus Christ. It's get Primey all dust that prime away from my goddamn magazines in the boiler room Do you know what I mean? Joe Heinz remember Remember that when those guys used to just come in here, they're obviously until the sawdust down. Joe?

Oh, shit. Why don't they use that sawdust for more stuff? That seems like they could, you know, when there's a flood or, you know, I don't know, to hurricane. When there's something. No, that makes a lot of sense. New Orleans needed more elementary school. So yes. Could you imagine we wouldn't have fucked up the football season if only the more those guys throw it down saw dust.

A team of janitors is being flown into Louisiana as we speak. They're very unhappy. They've, uh, Jesus Christ, you couldn't make some lovies that did break, goddamn. Son of a bitch. I have six copies of Ebony magazine back at the boiler room. I would read. That's all they read is Ebony magazine.

Why is that? So, sorry. Who are these custodians? I have seven copies are or Asian orientals I Oh Great bags chocolate racks chocolate Is there a magazine called Rex? There needs to be.

Well, I used to have a subscription, but I think they want to. Because I didn't cancel. They just stopped showing up. Oh, good. And the janitors, they're coming in now. They seem to be taking all their putting a sawdust down Okay, I see that they're okay. It seems to be working and oh No, wait a minute. No all the cops are the cops are getting after the janitors out. Oh my god. Oh

This guy gets a punch sound effected out every single joke because of how much people out. Oh, shit. Yeah, the janitors, I think that they would have cleaned up the Louisiana. They would have done a good job there or like whatever, you know, Haiti, wherever those other places are, and then I got like floods or hurricanes and shit just saw dust. What I wonder Hindsight is 2020. Yeah sure is Speaking of looking back

Sorry, I had another Haven't used the Talking about how we got sucks Remember that and we're back we're talking about how we eat out of socks. Yeah, I remember that. And we're back. We're back, everybody. It's the future. Okay. So at the end of the show, they end every interview with their celebrity.

Sorry, I'm getting back to the tell show. We've got a little bit. Yeah. Getting back to the show that we're reviewing, quote unquote, they ask three questions. And I clipped this because it sucks. Play track. So we ask every guest on the tell show three questions at the end of the show. Uh, and the first question is what was your last kiss like?

Boring. Yeah. That's a dumb question. It's a very dumb question. What was your last kiss like? The dog didn't want peanut butter there. It tasted like a copper penny. I don't know. Yeah. Mostly the cement from the wall was gross, but everything else was okay. All right, the duct tape around the hole got stuck in my mouth. I wish I would reduct tape the glory hole. All right, question number two, play track, I love it. The next question we ask every guest is, when was the last time you cried? And the show has reached a new low.

What kind of question is that? And this guy didn't handle this way. He's like, you didn't know how to answer that. Because how would you? I actually have his response, if you want to hear it. Okay. Yeah. Last time I cried was probably watching Batman versus Superman because I was like man I waited so long and this is what I got and I teared up a little bit. Nerds! Yeah that is this is a black man that is not the correct response. You're supposed to say when Alan Iverson retired or when

when Stefan Curry, you know, couldn't hit a three pointer in game seven. You don't say Batman versus Superman. That's ridiculous. What is Leon think of this racist talk you're doing right now? Leon, what do you think about this? Nah, he's checked out. Fittrick, it's all day. It's kind of like a pass out. He's passed out, man.

He's a, dude, one thing you have to do today is be on the show. All right, we'll talk about this later. And then there's the third question, Kevin. Play track 12. Okay, the last question is, um, what's wrong with you? He's a big. That's a terrible question. What's wrong with you?

Could you imagine if you were celebrity on a podcast? No one listens to you and they're like, Hey, so what's wrong with you? Like, uh, I'm on a shitty podcast. Yeah. And apparently my agent sucks. That's a truck. How about go fuck yourself? This is when he takes a mic off as lapel and fucking walks out. Exactly.

All right, I have a couple more clips that I want to get to and then we can move on with our wives. I have a clip on here. Number 14 is called, this is how you know this podcast sucks. The tell show is produced by the wonderful and irreplaceable and beautiful Meg Kramer. With editorial oversight by Jenna Weiss-Berman.

And production assistant from Eleanor Kagan and Julia Furlund. Thank you so much to Paul Ruest of Argo Studios. That's way too many people to put on this shitty show. And that's why it's overproduced. And there's too many sound effects and music beds. Kevin, who do we thank for our podcasting at our show? Uh, well, I'd like to thank you. No one. We thank no one.

We don't need a bunch of producers and audio engineers. It's a podcast. It doesn't take that much up. I'd like to thank my girlfriend for listening to me sing back slappers. Oh, yeah. Back slappers a slap a slap a slap a slap a slap a slap a slap a time to the members. Backslap a backslap a dude in their hands and I'll be hardly gonna love both.

I had it. I knew I had it somewhere. Well done. Well done. The Jingle department. Now they get paid every time we play that shit so they're happy. We go yeah, fight again. 15 cents every time I click it. It's 0.15 cents but yeah still. I'm still upset about it. The thing I didn't like about her getting back to the show there, when she's like, I just want to thank the most beautiful and courageous and strong- I know what a kiss at! Yeah, I'm like, yeah, Jesus, just say her goddamn name.

But that was the producer of the show, so you know that that's the boss. And she's like, I just want to say the most beautiful person. It's like, okay, you want to get picked up for season two we get it Yeah, you also have some fucking poopy ender nose Oh, I get it because she's a brown nose her brown nose just brown nose The face is shoved up the place Do you see that? That's terrible. That's kind of crude bar at the end there.

Speaking of music, I have a track out here. Their music is terrible. And I have this track. It's called No One Loves This Theme Song. Play track 15. And thank you to Love Inks for recording our theme song, which I love very much. I heard better music.

I heard better music. I love very much. I heard better music. I'm legacy music hour. The show about video game music. That music's terrible. It did sound like video game music actually. It was like boring video game music. It sounds like game music. It sounds like one of those like dating like back when he used to like record yourself and it would go on a VHS tape like it'd be like a dating service like this is just this note again. And thank you to Love Inks for recording our theme song which I love very much. My name is Kevin and I like to see you know what I mean it's like it. I like to slap my bag on the couch and I do a podcast with my friend Carl and Yeah, I own a couch like I said before

Well, I run I run run to home. I will own it. Run a center is awesome. They're so good. They're the best. They're stupendous. I can't believe people, it must have been so hard to find dates before Grindr. I mean, I mean, I mean,

I mean, life before the internet was hard. Yeah, it was, but we lived through it. Goddamn it. We made through it. We did. We did. I wasn't able to instant message anyone. I still made it through my life.

Yeah, it's go figure. It was hard times. It was really hard times. I mean, we had to, you know, we didn't have cell phones. We didn't have so many different things that kids grow up now and just take for advantage of or take. I don't know what the fuck I'm saying. I'm sick. Okay, crap. Okay, crap. I can't. Do you have any other clips that you want to play from the towel show?

I have this one. You hit there. It's like a thing. You hit 30. It just everything changes all downhill. Yeah, all downhill. Don't reach 30. That's the lesson of this show. It's not worth it. I know to tell people that. 30. Give me a fucking break. 30 is when you have to let everything go. Listen, buddy. don't don't reach 30. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha one of these terrible websites that tries to be trendy. And so they're like, oh, we should have podcasts because that's what, you know, trendy media companies do. And then they put on these terrible podcasts with Lena Dunham talking, asking people if they are their

hair and these two retards asking the dumbest questions, how was your last kiss or whatever nonsense? It's just sucks. They don't understand this medium. They don't seem to understand it. No, they certainly do not. They don't seem to understand news either and how that actually works too, but they definitely don't understand that. But I'm hoping that BuzzFeed does like some history podcast or something because it'd be really cool to Let's go back in time. Yeah, let's go back in time. Wait a minute. Hey go back in time again Yeah, they just did some some history podcasts because then I could try out my My other impression that I haven't done in a long time. And that's one of Mr.

Nick Cage. Nick, what are you looking for? I'm looking for the declaration of an uponus. It's hard to do when you're sick, but you know what I'd like to hear is I'd like to go back in time and then hear Nick Cage get into a fist fight. Oh, really? Yeah, you know what? That would be possible. Okay. You've got to hand over that declaration or I'm gonna punch you in the face. See, that was the type of dialogue you would expect from a cage movie too. Is that correct? Yo, Heinz? Is that the right type of dialogue you would expect from a dick cage movie too. Is that correct Joe Heinz? Is that the right type of dialogue that you would expect from a dick cage movie?

emails Who are these guys? What does it know you think? Should we let anybody know what the fuck we're doing with this? Joe Heinz anger Okay, we're talking one to one with the listener remember I said I I already set that up. Oh right, right, right. I already set that up. God damn ya. Make sure to,

uh, the case is losing head. I don't lose head. Uh-huh. What? Oh, oh God. Who's the car crash? Well, this show sucked and we missed some time, Kevin, I don't know.

We're going to record our next show because this weekend is Christmas. But we should probably record our next show soon since we did miss some time. I have another show for us to listen to next week. This was a suggestion that came into us. I have a clip from it that will give us a tease so that people who are listening to the show will be like, holy shit. When does that show come out? I remember, um, who was that late night talk show guy? I used to have people fight on a show all the time?

Oh, geez, Morton Downey Jr. No, no, not that long ago. The guy who, oh man, there was a spin-off show from the security guard. Oh, Jerry Springer. Yeah, Jerry Springer. I remember back in the 90s watching Jerry Springer. And you'd watch the episode, it was like a bunch of white trash people fighting.

And then he'd say, all right, we'll make sure to tune in tomorrow because tomorrow, this is the scenario. You'd be like, holy crap. That looks 10 times better than this thing that I just watched. I wasted my time. I shouldn't watch tomorrow's episode. times better than this thing that I just watched. I wasted my time. I should have watched tomorrow's episode. That's what I'm trying to accomplish here with this tease that we do. I want people to hear our show invest, I don't know, 50 minutes, whatever time you've invested

in this. And then be kicking yourself like, I listen to this nonsense. When this is next week's episode. This is the show I need to listen to. So here is, is that enough build-up? The better be fucking great. Yeah. I build this up enough. This is the teaser for next week's show. This is the show that Kevin and I will be reviewing. All right, episode nine, Chroma cocktails. We're talking about Jack the Ripper. Cocktail is the Jack the Ripper cocktail. Maybe he should start talking when you're over here. So it's not like, maybe you.

She's just a guy that you know. I was gonna try. Hey, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I was not in the right direction. No, I was not in the right direction. Like that. We can't keep cutting out bad word, Chrom. You cut out the F word.

I know you can't. You can't. You heard it, Dave. I heard word, come. You cut out the F-word. I know you did. You did. More than the G-D-word. You heard it, David. All right, F-word, OK. F-word is back in. Whoo! No problem.

What? What was that? This show is called Crime and Cocktails. This is episode nine called Jack the Ripper. It's from December 11th, 2016. Kevin, this is one of those true crime shows. That's very popular as a podcast, but this is the worst version of it. I'm on their iTunes page.

They have 22 ratings of those 22 ratings 19 are a one star rating. I just want to read you a couple of these of these reviews. There's the first one is, is this real? Is the subject with the comment so terrible? And then there's the one undergarbage one star with the comment, this is neither drunk nor funny. This one is great. I love this one. This is a one-star review. It says, if it cured cancer, I would rather die than listen. If it cured cancer, I would rather die than listen. Is that really on there? I swear to God, I just want to get this off the right kids' page.

And then there's assholes who probably are friends with these people. There's one that's a five-shot that says, an acquired taste. Kevin, you just heard that clip. Does this sound like it's going to be any good at all that you could learn to like it? You know what else I've heard is the Quiret taste. Here's a one from BossyPant 16. This will be helpful for us. It's the subject line terrible. It says this is not produced well at all and it's all over the place. The concept is good but delivery is off. Audio quality is terrible. I also have seen the reviews

this podcast is posted on other true crime podcasts promoting theirs, but it's a terrible podcast. So I'm not sure why this was being promoted at all. If they make improvements to the overall format and delivery, it could be successful. Also, have more integrity than to be shady and leave a bad review just to promote your own show. Wow. That's pretty much the bottom of that. I know that's way too much information to write about this terrible show. That was on December 13th. On December 14th, someone wrote Terrible. T tried listening, but the audio is terrible, and it's just a bunch of drunk people talking over each other. They also like to leave bad reviews for True Crime podcasts that are more popular than

them. So, you're hearing a trend here. What these guys have done is they've gone out and they've spammed other True Crime shows and said, this show sucks, you got to listen to Crying and Cocktails so that's how they're getting people to their show is by leaving bad reviews and other people shows sweet so should we start on that well I was gonna say was if you want to send us a jingle grape if you're not musically inclined feel free to go out a good comedy show and tell you guys fucking suck check out who are these Doc. If we were just out there on actually good shows, one's much better than ours telling them to fuck off and

the listen to who are these.com. Yeah, I don't have balls like that to do something like that. I like to sleep at night, so I will not be doing that. But if Joe Hines wants to do that, I don't sell. Whoever that might be, maybe if he's out there, maybe, you know. So Kevin, this show was suggested to me by someone who's a fan of these two crime podcasts. It's, I'm going to warn you, it's over two hours long. Oh, my God. I know, I know.

I don't know what kind of nonsense goes on. They're obviously drinking with their mom. There's a whole bunch of people in a trailer somewhere with a single microphone. They're just screaming about Jack the Ripper. I guess my suggestion would be, don't invest too much time into this. I'll pull some clips, you know, if you want to listen to

starting halfway in or something so that we have some different clips, some different takes, but there's no way I'm listening to this thing all the way through. I just, I value my time too much. Yeah, it sounds like from the clip their the amount of chromosomes probably does not add up to the right. All right, it's a prime number. Yeah. And that right, Mama? Remember we heard about Jack the Ripper? So let me just go back real quick. Now that we've teased what could possibly be the worst podcast we're not going to overuse that.

We don't have any worries about it. So he's talking about the fact that we get some negative reviews and he says, you'd maybe escape a little negativity from idiot holes. If you manage to slip in a few more shows where you review something that you do like, maybe once every 10 or 12 shows or something, and probably something you already listened to rather than a listener suggestion. I think you could do a good packed show showing what can be good or innovative in podcasts.

So Kevin, you and I talked about this a little better, a message about this. Should we do a show where we actually showcase good podcasts? Would that be interesting? I don't know. It's hard. I don't know.

Yeah, it's a hard one to answer. I mean, there's definitely, you know, podcasts that I love and, you know, that I think are greater. I subscribe to or pay money for. And but I don't know you know if they're forever buddy I mean that trot them out and you'd be like why the fuck are you listening to such a weird podcast, but I Definitely do have ones that I really really enjoy that I think are in our top of the list And I'm sure you do too. I just don't know if that's interesting, you know,

to the audience to actually hear. We've had a few podcast reviews where either you or I have liked it. There was one I think we both liked, which was my dad wrote a porno. I felt that was one of our worst shows because we liked the show. It kind of changed our whole dynamic. Yeah, well, I mean, because it's harder, it's more difficult to me to do a show where if we both like it, then we're both green and it's like, okay, we liked it and move on with Goofenon if we hated it. Especially if we both hate it, then we could kind of find some comedy in there.

And if one of the other, you know, if you like it and I like it or one of us doesn't like it, at least there's something to play off of there. It's hard when it's, you know, if you're just like, oh yeah, I like this show and then you'd be like, cool. Yeah, and then we just, you know, move on to the next one. So it's, oh, yeah, I like this show and then you'd be like, cool. Yeah. And then we just move on to the next one. So it's, it's difficult, I guess, to, to, to do. It, it is difficult.

I think there might be something there, or maybe we don't spend a whole show talking about a single podcast we like, but maybe we bring up two or three or four podcasts each. And we talk about why they're good and what people do on podcasts that are good maybe introduce people to the show's day they haven't heard before that could be interesting. I don't think it'd be as funny, but I mean, none of our shows are funny, so I guess that doesn't matter. Why start now? Yeah, no, I'm all for supporting other shows that I think are good and try to do the hate to fucking use the word synergy, but you try to make some connections between the two. And I brought up the story behind podcast, which was Annelise podcast. She's a fan of ours. And I like her podcast quite a bit.

It's shortened to the point. It's and explores a particular topic and she does kind of a history of that thing. She did one about Lego. She did one about cabbage patch kids. I mean, they're just kind of all over the place. But it's interesting and it's short kind of shows. It's not like an hour long delve into something that she gives all the facts, and it's well done. So, you know, and that's just a local homegrown podcast, if you will, there's no network behind it or anything like that. And I'm all for helping out people that I think are producing good content. And I, you know, like, and I, you know, think that they would probably do the same for us

and try to promote our show as well. Just based on this segment right now, I'm guessing this is a terrible idea. Yeah. I could be more bored with our conversation. This sucks. We're going to get picked up by Buzzfeed network if we keep doing shows like this. No, we have to You guys are not saying anything. Let's just put you out of show. Oh, fuck. I never mind Exactly, it's the suggestion of P, but we'll keep playing terrible shows and Please join us again next week because it might be the episode We find out once and for all who are these podcasts sleep well every ponyI'm a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man I don't know.

I don't know.