Who Are These Podcasts? - Ep43 - Crime and Cocktails

Episode Date: December 30, 2016

Happy Holidays from WATP!  This is our mid-holiday-week show and it features a podcast called Crime and Cocktails.  Yes, it's yet another show where people get drunk and do something because they think they are hilarious.  Kevin and Karl both loathed this show and offer up many clips and examples of just what not to do when recording a "show".   Crime and Cocktails also get a big fat F for their comment tactics on other true crime podcasts.  Yes, apparently they like to spam other good shows and tell them their show sucks and to listen to only Crime and Cocktails.  Gosh, the balls on some people.  That being said... this show was terrible and you should listen to WATP. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hello and welcome to another episode of Who Are These Podcasts. I'm Kevin and I'm Carl and we listen to podcasts so you don't have to. We want to remind our listeners you can visit us on WhoAreThese.com or on our Facebook page. We're always looking for a new podcast suggestion so leave us a comment or post a death threat. Today's show will be reviewing a show called Crime and Cocktails. As always, we've listened to the episode separately.

We have not discussed it with each other beforehand. So without further ado, let's find out once and for all who all these podcasts are show time.mememe me me me me me

me me me me meme You can immediately cut out right at the last letter of WATP, but I think everyone knows what you said. I go back and listen to these shows and my Skype is the worst. I cut out all the time. I can't tell at the time, but then when I go back and listen to it, I can tell you're trying to figure out your head the words that got cut out. Yeah, it's me slowly you'll go yeah Here I just think you're a dummy and then when I go back and listen like oh, you just can't hear right a word I'm saying well I'm both but

So hello, hello audience Way weird way to start the show but Well, this is we're bitching about Skype. It's the fucking worst service. Yeah, but Strangely the best of all the options that we've tried so It is the best or shall I? Mary Christmas to listeners and hen happy Hanukkah as it were And we're we're back. This is a few days after Christmas this podcast right before New Year's Eve and New Year's Day.

And we're reviewing a show called Crime and Cocktails, which I have made the comment that is possibly the worst podcast I've ever heard in my entire life. And that's saying a lot because this is the 43rd show of the podcast. And we've got to do 42 terrible podcast. Yeah. This is the first. This is this was just I I don't understand the reason for this at podcast to exist. What did you what did you think of it? Oh, these people are terrible. Okay, yeah, I figured you hated it, but I don't know. I just, it's a lot of talking over each other,

which is obviously the first, like, one of the major rules of broadcasting. You just, you don't talk over your co-host. It's just kind of like you, you have to let everyone have a chance to talk. I mean, I've got a great clip about that. Do you remember when we listened to the man cow show? Yes, I do. That was one of their things is that everyone would scream over each other. They actually did that on purpose,

which was bizarre because it's terrible to listen to. I have a clip number eight on here that's called. These people have to be man cow fans, right? I have a clip number eight on here that's called these people have to be man cow fans, right? It goes seamlessly into the mad cow show. Oh. Except the Mad Cow Show sounds a thousand times better. Wow. A sound quality wise. Let me read an iTunes review that I think is pretty spot on. And then we can get into the clips that prove this to be true. It says, wow, this show is a train wreck.

The audio quality is horrendous. They have one mic in the middle of the room. The only thing that was on mic was the ice cubes and mom's glass. One woman was show here. One woman was so far off Mike she sounded like Kenny from South Park. They took almost 10 minutes to even get to the topic. Plus they hung a bunch of one-series on quality podcasts trying to have listeners come over to this debacle. So there's a lot of hate for these people on iTunes and rightfully so. Yeah, and I, I was trying to do some research on the show, like to try to find out like the names of the people without, you know,

because it's hard sort of to catch some of it. They refer to one as ma, which is obviously their ma. There's two male, like, I'm assuming friends. Then there's like another girl who sounds younger. And then there's a guy they call Dan, but then I always, I was kept thinking that they were saying, Dad, like it was their father. So I was confused there. But there's, you figured out better than I did. I couldn't, I couldn't make had your tales of it. Okay. So I'm no help.

They all sound like what you would expect a, a clan railing sound like, you know what I mean? Like I have that, that kind of voice where it's just, and I had no offense to any southerners, but that Southern drawl that is, it's hard to overcome. If you're a smart person and you have a really deep Southern twang, it's gotta be hard to prove

that you're smart to people is what I'm saying. So they come off here, like they're just a bunch of hillbillies and that's what they sound like to me anyway. Not being from the self, obviously. The acoustics in their trailer are not good. No, they're not. They're not. I have a track out here, it's called,

starting off with a thud. And just to quickly set it up before the show begins begins this guy the main host talks about a little bit and then it goes to the show and you can hear it goes from a decent sounding quality just him talking to microphone to this thing where it's just a single mic in the middle of the room and everyone just carrying out. Play track one. And just help us get our name out there. So there's more people listening. So there's more people you can talk to about how silly we sound when we're drunk. Thanks. All right. Episode nine, Chroma cocktails.

We're talking about Jack the Ripper. Cocktail is the Jack the Ripper cocktail. Maybe he should start talking when he's over here. So it's not like maybe you That was how it starts. Who the fuck is gonna listen for any longer than that? Yeah, now I guess we should back up for the audience our listeners, to say the premise of the show is that there's basically these group of people who make a special cocktail based off the theme of the show and then they're going to talk about something true crime related. So this particular show was about Jack the Ripper, which I love that he says in the

Shin the the Draco the show is Jack the Ripper shot and then doesn't proceed to tell you what the fuck a Jack the Ripper shot is as if we were all going to know you know exactly what that is made up of yeah it's it's horrendous that they try to go through and describe the murders and stuff of Jack the Ripper. And it's pretty comical because they have these accents that are just, I don't know, I mean, I just couldn't pass the, the southerness of it of it all, I guess. Yeah, the clip you want to play that gets a good example of that. A lot of them are just people talking over each other. Here's this is my first talking over each other example. Five murders like that's kind

of crazy. Well, there again, it's five murders. Yeah. Well, there again, it's five murders. Well, there again, it's five murders with the pay attention. So I'm wondering what the paper's built it up to such a big thing. I think also if you... So that's the mom. That's the mom of your show. She's trying to get a point across and stops to let them talk and then repeats the point and then they talk. Oh, boy. Yeah.

I have a, this was just random and fucking made me laugh. I don't have any money. I'm getting nice, everybody. All right. If you have a cell, feel bad. He's randomly gets ice from the fridge, from the ice maker and tells everybody, I'm getting asked her buddy, hold on. So this is a clip that I call that's not annoying.

Track 13 someone just starts mixing a cocktail in the middle of them broadcasting, you just hear them shaking the ice. So she was released from jail. She was released from jail at 1 a.m. because basically they don't figure she'd be able to get anything else to drink at that time. This is fucking people retarded. Well, yeah, I think they are. I'm so level. So I wanted to rip on these guys for doing that, but I forgot.

We actually have an old episode that we did Kevin, where we just started mixing and drinking the middle of it. I pulled a clip, it's embarrassing, but I don't know if you see it on there. It's an old WATP. Yeah, yeah, yeah, let me play it. My, my cousin. Yeah, yeah, let me play it Yeah, that was our bad my bad on that one, you know, we I Really needed that Drake shaken that's turned very shaken very shaken it's so fucking annoying how do these guys not

realize if they are trying to put on a shield who will listen to and they are which I'll get to you later on but why would they think they can just make obnoxious noises in the middle of it? Well, and this goes to our whole mantra of of WATP is that people think that they are entertaining So these assholes collectively a family of them got together and was like we're totally fucking entertaining when we get drunk And we mix up and we shake our ass cubes like we're fucking going crazy like the goddamn maracas We're so entertaining that we need to put a microphone in the middle of the room and record this goddamn shit But wait a second Billy. Don't you think maybe we should do some prep work and actually have a format to our show?

I don't know what prep work is is what I'm trying to get to you and I want to talk about true crime I read it in a book once. I don't know either Read it in a book. What's that? You know I'm lying You know, I'm just pulling your chain god damn it Yeah, so it that's the premise of the show see kind of everyone knows what we're dealing with here, and that's the premise of the show. So you kind of everyone knows what we're dealing with here. And it's just really, I could have just clipped, you know,

a half an hour of them talking over each other. And that would have been enough. There wasn't a there wasn't a part that wasn't clipable. I was the part that was the hard thing. I had with it. Like, this is terrible. This is terrible. This is terrible.

But I do want to play a couple of clips from the beginning That was a hard thing for I had with it. Like this is terrible, this is terrible, this is terrible. But I do want to play a couple of cuts from the beginning because it's not until the nine minute and 22 second mark that they even start talking about Jack the Ripper, which is the subject of the show. And Kevin, this podcast was about two hours and 16 minutes long.

Yeah, yeah. Holy fuck. So I listened to over an hour, and then I skipped to the end because I had enough But I guess you actually listened to the hour number two. I did. Yes. That's where my stuff is That's amazing So let me play There's some clips here at the beginning. There's no reason for this to be part of the show

It's just them making cocktails and enjoying drinking cocktails play track 3 making cocktails and enjoying drinking cocktails. We track three. I don't know about that mom. Well, me and Daniel both were going to put one of our scientists today too. So it could be a combination of something yesterday. I started having headache today too. I remember that.

Yeah. Oh, that smells good. It's a weather change. I think you will. Oh, that's yummy. Let that one. Better cut the stops. Oh, no. yummy. Oh, you just put it on. You better cut this off. Oh, that's a little drop.

Oh, is that why you bought the butter? That's not that great. Yeah. That's yummy. Oh, totally ready. It's so interesting. They're just making idle small talk and mixing and drinking drinks. Yeah.

Yeah. They don't pull this shit. I guess just people assume that a podcast can be hitting record and just everything that comes out of there. A lot of people do. Yeah, although so this is now two hours later at the very end of the show and Mom actually has an epiphany play track 26 Check out the big brain on Brad the big brain on bread. You're a smart motherfucker. That's right. Yeah. I'm fighting it very boring listening to you drink before the show starts. Yes. So I clipped, I don't know if you got the very end of the show, how abruptly it cuts off. Do you? I have a clip of that. This is not edited by me in any way. This is literally how the show ends.

We just talked about some boring shit for a while, so I was gonna skip ahead. All right, more word down. I don't know why I'm sorry. I said we got, and that was literally the other show. Yeah, the guy just reaches over, it's stopping. That's it.

Yeah, I was expecting after over two hours, they would have some type of conclusion or yeah, some type of thing at the end, but there was something that the one guy said near the end of the show. And it actually works very well with one of my favorite sound effects. So I call this the re edit of the show. It's almost like a remix. I made, I took their show and I made it better. Plate track 27. Before I just went to start to get boring, just like actually have a fast forward sound. Alright, we're done.

That's how it needed to be. Yeah, that show could have been three seconds longer. That one's been perfect. Yeah, there's some thoughts on the media. get into some some deep thoughts on the media here. The media likes to blow shit out of proportion. Well, duh, everybody knows that. That's beside the point. That's most of the well-known high, most of the well-known things are well known because they're going out of proportion.

Most of the well-known things, you know, are getting points. There's things and stuff in the media that are just blowing out of proportion and this is the Jack the Ripper cocktail. By the way, I don't know if you caught this or what your take is on this. I didn't listen to as much as the second hour as you did. But this is now I think the fifth podcast we've listened to that involves drinking during it. Yeah. Well we listened cocktails and centires. Yeah. Drink, drink, drunk, that damn drunk, and this feels horrible. I might have missed one or two.

But, what, what, these people think that it's a good idea to get drunk while they're putting on a show and it's Matt. Well, yeah, because I think people, everyone assumes that when they're drunk, they're fucking hilarious. Like, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're just, yeah, just because your friends laughing at your joke doesn't make you funny at all exactly But yours my observation cabinet tell me if I'm crazy I didn't get a sense that they were getting drunker. They might just be like that all the time

I don't think alcohol slows them down anymore and they already are no I agree I feel like if if you removed alcohol from this mix it would still be, yeah, my thoughts on the media are that it's blown out of proportion, like it just wouldn't be any different. Right, it all sounds the same. I didn't catch any difference from our, you know, the first minute to our, you know, two. Right. Right.

I should mention that cocktails and centaurs has decided to end their show. I have heard this. Oh, oh, oh. What am I going to do with my t-shirt that I ordered? Well, I'm going to look shh. Now I'm going to look like an idiot when I wear my cocktails and centaurs, do you sure? Yeah, I'm sorry. Yeah, I'm sorry that you're going to have obsolete merchandise now, but.

Oh, that in my health headband. I just say I can't wear them anymore. Yeah. Um, socks. but that my old headband I just said can't wear them anymore. I have another clip here that I named my daddy is the ripper. I assume that they said daddy. Now it could be Danny because I think there might be a Danny in the room. But I don't hear here's the clip. You you determine. Let's go around.

Who's your favorite suspect? Dad. No, he wasn't born then. Dad, he's a river. No, dad, he's a river. No, dad, he's a river. No, dad, he's a river. No, dad, he's a river. No, dad, he's a river.

No, dad, he's a river. No, dad, he's a river. No, dad, he's a river. No, dad, he's a river. No, dad, he's a river. No, dad, he's a river. No, dad, he's a river. No, dad, he's a river.

No, dad, he's a river. No, dad, he's a river. No, dad, he's a river. No, dad, he's a river. No, dad, he's a river. No, dad, he's was mom piping up. Yeah. That's not funny. Yeah. The ripper was over 200 years ago. Yeah. He's not born. Come on. That's it. You got to be shitting me a little bit there with trying to try to pull one over on me saying that your daddy was born, you know, during the ripper days. Yeah. By the way. Do you think do you think that mom smokes cigarettes? Yes, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait I'm sorry how to grow to you spam all right if I'm Langon Oh, yeah, I heard Shulks Jeff's rock yeah

Something land on the floor she the mom has like this distinct Southern racist voice and now she may not be racist but just listen I just want you to hear this I clipped this this part of her saying I want to see if you can actually decipher what she's saying here okay there we go again Was that the end word She was trying to say her theory or one of her dumb theories that whatever is That the Jack the Ripper was a transvestite so that's what she said uh Tautouji is a transvestite oh you know who that sounds like it sounds like Mrs. Crab Tree the bus driver yeah it does so she's saying I told you he was a transvestite? I told you it's transvestite!

That's what she said. More time. I told you it's transvestite! That's ridiculous. So uh, oh we have. Well, since you played that, I have a clip on here from mom and I call it let's make up nonsense. That'll be fun This is where she just goes off on some theory that no one things could possibly be true Play devil's advocate here if he if he was gonna kill her and he got interrupted He could have been so mad and so angry that when he an hour later, when he came across Elizabeth Stride, that's when he started with the facial mutilations and he

enjoyed it so much that when he got to Kelly, that's why he went so severe because he got, he found so much joy out of one of his sitter face. I don't think that's how that happened. Now, I don't think so. So, this show is just a wild speculation. Yeah, based on nothing. Oh, God. Yeah, like, was we-

Who do I want to listen to people just making up theories about something that's not true? I'll listen to Alex Jones and I want to do that. I told you to transfer. Yeah. I told you to transfer. I told you to transfer. It was the black flag operation uh uh uh in the Gulf of Talkin.

Black flag operation. False flag. Yeah, but black flag was a punk band. It was a black flag six pistols operation. Uh it was a black flag uh uh operation Ivy. Operation Ivy Here is them a bunch of drunken hicks talking about how you would cut somebody This is their knowledge of anatomy Okay, you don't have to learn how to you're not organized somebody's body You cut them open in there. So you look in what's there and you grab it?

That's it if you just cut somebody open in their abdomen. Yeah, you're more likely just gonna see muscle or the stomach now. Yes. No. Yes. No, you're gonna cut right through the muscle And it's gonna be opened up and you're gonna see the orange. That's a lot deeper than you would think it is So a lot of people will not get there It's not that deep anyway Some of the ways like I've seen I've seen beetle juice. I know exactly how that looks. You ever seen that uh Empire strikes back when he comes that that big giant horse that white horse thing open It just guts that come out of that then he stuffs Luke in there Luke Luke keeps warm. Right, mom? Yeah. I don't think they would have followed the plot of Empire that while I don't know what they was up to. Just felt like murder in

that horse. I guess. Speaking of this idea, this guy knows exactly what it's like to cut through someone's abdomen. This is a track on here that I call remind me to never go to Missouri. Listen to what this guy says. Play track 20. Well, the only difference between somebody who goes out deer hunting and cuts up a deer and somebody who goes and cuts up a person is just that some did some connected in their mind to tell you to do that. Well, what. What? Did you hear what he just said? The only difference between someone who goes out,

hunt a deer and cuts them up, and someone who goes out and murders a person and cuts them up, is that there's something in your mind that tells you, you shouldn't do that to a person. Does that right there you should be thrown in jail? That's not why people don't go out and murder people. It's like crazy. What if it like what if it was a human dressed up as a deer? I'm so

goddamn confused. I don't know. Son of a bitch. This guy's got to pose this. Dears got opposable thumbs. It's got a strange I never seen that before but whatever cut its neck this beer's called me a motherfucker it's a crazy deer oh man this I think this deer was driving not not long ago I think he he pulled

that car over there I never seen something like that before no why it's wearing a person costume? What do you think about that, ma'am? I told you, it's turned red, so I said, oh, what? Transvestite deer, okay? Oh, whatever.

Whatever floats your boat, you know? So speaking of ma'am, there's, I have this clip from the beginning, where ma'am tells a joke and thinks it's hilarious and people don't hear it so she repeats it which always works. Play track for. Oh, you're gonna cut that up. Man is gonna be on the floor here soon. She's not laying on the floor in a minute. I said was all she not laying in front yard

Now she not laying in front yard Holy shit, that's what I was saying before is like it's hard to Can you imagine like what would you feel like if you were if you went to the hospital right you weren't feeling well You go to the hospital because you're having whatever chest pains or something like fuck So I'm not doing well. I need I got to see a doctor I got to see doctor and they bring in the emergency room and they get you all hooked up to everything and then the nurses are like All right, the doctor be in the sea in a few minutes and then the doctor room and they get you all hooked up to everything and the nurses are like all right the doctor being to see in a few minutes and then the doctor comes and he goes all right what do we we've got problems here

well come on got problems we got here would you you would not feel safe right you wouldn't feel secure it reminds you of that kids in the whole skin I don't know you see it where it's like old-timey doctor and he comes in, he's like, modified whether we've been having. It's just like the worst doctor ever. It's like, oh yeah, it's the long way. I just, yeah, that's scary. The Southern accent just does not instill confidence in in the person being smart. So if you, Well, okay, so this is a whole other aspect that I want to get into. I have a track on here.

It's where the show should have started. So this is about nine and a half minutes in. And I'll just explain. They finally starts talking about the thing that they're all gonna talk about for the next two hours. And the host can't get a single sentence out without people disagreeing with them. These people own nothing about the topic. Play Track 5. And let's um, so this kind of do, I guess we'll start with a brief kind of overview.

He was a serial killer believed. Was he? Well, I believe to be nice. I started talking about the murders. Hold on. He was you hold on. You hold on. You hold on. You hold on. Epic sale. Oh my God. They couldn't even get the show started. Just like, all right. So Jack D'Ripper was a serial killer was he I don't know Just fucking let him get started like set it up at least you know, they're just they have like Wikipedia open They're just reading the details. Well, that's what that's what's amazing So I have a track on here the next one called holy shit not only can they not broadcast? They don't know anything about the topic holy shit not only can they not broadcast they don't know anything about the topic because there was one just started the first murder that is possibly attributed to the river and

they describe it and we'll talk about what we think about I'll talk about what I want to talk about why was he just why is that fire member correctly the first murder was Mark the tab was at the moment, the lady was stabbed a bunch of times. No, there was no before that. There was one, one of the early on once was a lady that did not die right away. She was a hospital. She said a gang attack. Oh, yeah, and then she died later. Why don't you just look at the Wikipedia, it's got all of them listed in order.

Um... God damn it. They start talking about this shit. They don't know what they're talking about. And the guy's like, you know, well, we can just look at the internet. Yeah, that's what's going on. Just pull the internet up.

That'll be entertaining to the audience while we bicker back and forth. Oh, God. This is the show I want Kevin Smith to be forced to listen to. You know, in the style of clockwork orage, where his ears are fried open. It's like, remember that thing you said, Kevin,

everyone wants you to have their own podcast. You fucking ass all. Or let him listen to clips like this. You kill him. Oh, shit, I killed it. His IVA was framed. He was framed. He was framed.

So he was framed. That's why the investigation techniques. Well, there you go. His idea was brain. I'm a newspaper. So he was a dad. That's why the investigation techniques. Well, there you go. His occupation was. Oh my god. It's just two hours, two hours of this talking over each other. Not you can't. I'm kidding. Yeah, you can't follow any one thing. Here's more.

His wife was accused of murdering him and he used. It's keys murder 1889. I know Dan. Well, who did it? It was Walter Vermease. The Walter Palmer killed him. Hey, it's that's her. No, hold your tongue. The first piece of evidence. And then the father is such a bad turn. Was I diary and the second and in a post-credit watch. Where the speculation regarding the authenticity of the travel of all the evidence, the answer he said is the link. It's fucking maddening.

Done now? It's absolutely fucking maddening that they're just talking all over each other. There's no cohesion. There's no there's no one even leading the show proper. Like, you know, trying to keep everyone on topic or I gotta be honest with you. I spaced out. I wasn't even begging to do it. So it's out of like, it just sounded like babble. I You started talking as I go, should I switch to be begging? I'm gonna sing a show with this guy You started talking as I go should I should be back

Look staring at the Here's some trump mentioned you know that that was going to come in at some point here For those on the podcast they would just ripped open his pledge to show us a trump t-shirt where Trump is apparently standing on a tank with American flag explosions and fireworks. It looks like a bear fit to count. And then there's a bald eagle firing. It looks like a rocker post-holy grenade. Oh, that's a phleo-matic shot. No, I can't help from here. Pull the automatic shotgun in the Eagles' talents. That is America. That is America now. So it was aliens, like I said.

So it was Donald Trump. Yep. It was Donald Trump's hair piece. He grabbed it. I bought a pussy and that was it. He went back in the in time machine. We're hysterical. I love how every one of those guys knew every gun that was on the t-shirt. Oh my god. And you know what? Not for nothing Kevin, but everyone in their

home state owns that t-shirt. It's not that impressive. Right, right. This is a standard issue. We got them all in the mail after Trump was elected. We now have to wear these to church and to Walmart. That's a proper. Yeah, mom's wearing the matching hot pants. Turn around mom. Yeah, there's a Barrett 50 Cal on mom's ass crack. Let me guess when I made the hot pants reference, the word hot probably dropped out of Skype.

It's the most enough time. I don't know. It's the most in-appertune time. I don't know, but you did break up there. Yeah. When he said in opportune, uh, in-appertune time with Skype. See, it just cut out. Uh, um, here's some financial advice. Do you want some financial advice from these? Yeah. Let's hear it. There we go. A Roth IRA.

No, Roth IRA stands for individual retirement. There you go. That's it was. What Roth IRA is already pre-taxed. So if you believe that your tax rate is going to be higher when you retire, you do a Roth IRA and then you get better return on your money. If you believe that your tax rate is gonna be lower then you do a 401k. This is the financial minute brought to you by Kramikaktaels. The more you know. So what's your real theory? Just chewing ice cubes We're gonna do a podcast the loudest thing we can chew on I got some ice cubes

Well, I only have six teeth, so we'll see what we can do here. I don't know Well, I only have six teeth. So we'll see what we can do here. I don't know Well, that was that was an enlightening moment. I didn't hear that part of the show this guy Did some homework apparently not know yet. I'm Jack the I know all about Roth IRA's 401k's I'll buy 401 triple K, if you know what I mean. I have a clip on here that further goes to prove that at least the other guys total adult play track tab. Okay, she was found sleeping on the Mary tape my the table was found sleeping on the first floor landing

Yeah, so that's inside I don't think so that's like I'll say endings are inside I I don't know about that. Jerry's out on landings. I don't know how that works, but... I want you to look at the landing Wikipedia page with all of the... What is the landing.com? All right, and then more evidence that these people are not the brightest track, a weapon, which I call...

This is why I turned to crime and cocktails to learn about Jack the river. The graffiti that they're talking about which is it says something like the Jews are the men that will not be blamed for nothing or something like that. That's what makes sense. Why does that? I mean couldn't you look it up? I'm sure it's somewhere. It's something like that, Kevin. I mean, does it matter? The Jews are the people who administer the Rafaare's. I think that that's what the

graffiti said. That's a little bit that's a little too true. That's a little bit that's a little too true. That was on the note. Next track. Yeah. Oh, this next track is more just ridiculousness. I don't know what they're talking about. Play track 12. She is actually arrested for acting like a fire engine and passing out drunk in the street.

Acting like a fire engine. Yeah. I remember this part too. They're like, we'll see. What happened back in 18 to 88? I don't know. What year was this? I don't know.

I didn't do the research on the jack the river part either. I mean, someone was arrested for actually like a fire engine. Can we all agree that that's not since? She was spinning around in circles and asking people to put hoses inside of her. And for some reason, there's a Dalmatian there. I don't know why.

All right, I have a clip that this guy actually speaks to the truth. Play track 16 This is the lonely podcast just me or was it the same Nobody else talking was you guys even reading No, nothing about nothing was the killer was her killer because it was so much more I'm with this murder mom. We got curious. Oh, damn thing on our own We're talking like this whole podcast is boring. It's hell because it's us talking to each other.

Everybody else just staring each other across the table. What's this one? Well, at least they have a table there. So I mean, that's... That's impressive. Yeah, humble brag. Yeah, that's pretty cool. I like the guy goes, this podcast is boring as hell. But his complaint was they weren't all talking to each other

for, you know for a few minutes in a row there. Come on everyone, get back to yelling over each other. We all need to be involved all at the same time. So that works. Yeah. And then the other guy comes up with a real doozy. I call this track.

This is track 17 Kevin. I call it then what the fuck are we even talking about? Honestly, I think the Jack the Ripper was never even in existence at all I think that it was manufactured by the media because the first letter that was written was the one that said Oh Jack the Ripper or whatever and I was written by media probably all all the letters I didn't want to. I didn't want to. The show about Jack the Ripper.

He's like, I didn't think Jack Ripper was a real person. I think it was just made up by the liberal media, making it more their lives. Oh, shit. I know. It sounds like a liberal media. What are we even talking about that? It was a black flag called Duncan. Oh my god, it's so bad.

It is so fucking bad. So I mean we're playing a lot about much eclipse here, obviously, of what I consider the worst What calls itself a show ever recorded and it's just I think it just drives the point home more that we found out that these people and I think Carl mentioned the two Have been leaving bad reviews on other true crime podcasts so they go on to you know good shows like probably like sword and scale and You know these like more well-known

Crime podcasts center saying oh you got suck. You should come over listen to crime and cocktail You should come over and listen to us. We're talking. You know what? We have a we have a table We have a full table. We sit around it. The table got a leaf in it too. It makes it bigger. But yeah, I mean, I just makes it me hate them even more of knowing that they're doing that. Oh, they're they're hateable people. Yeah. But they're very excited about having a show and how do you

listen to the show. Did you clip any of the parts at the end where they started going through their stats? No, I didn't. I didn't hear that. Oh, actually, oh, listen to this. Listen, play track, play track 23. Well, we got United States. We got a hundred and 95 listens. What? Yeah, I just, I was around a table. What I Would you talk about this guy is this guy is so brave. They have a hundred and ninety-five listens in the United States Boy That's not good

But then the other guy so this guy's Alex excited like what what 195 then the other guy calls about it play track 24 exactly that's what you can't say that's a little noisy the guys like so wait those people actually listen to the show They just download it. It's like oh no, they just downloaded it Like so they could have just listened to her for a second said this is shit I get This is that should be the sum up of the entire show right there Exactly well, it's pretty funny that comes two hours into the show the guys like well no one's actually listening to this right? So the socks. Yeah, I

Guess like I could I could let it slide if they were just doing this For their friends and just being like, ah, it's a big goof and whatever But the fact that they're going to other people's podcasts and being like you're so sick You should come to our show like that That really makes them assholes like that really rubs me the wrong way. Well, also the fact that there and this isn't a goof. They're bragging about how many people listen to their show. They talk about people from Australia and the UK. We're about to hit the 45 minute mark where our Skype shits out. Yeah, but before we hit that play track 25 Wow, okay Kevin am I breaking up now my robot I roll-out voice, Carl? Yeah, you're roll-out voice, Carl now.

So, yeah, the audience. The audience, because the audience. Let's, let's reconnect. Let's reconnect. All right, bye. Bye. So how many lessons did they say they had over 90 days? I think you said 215 over 90 days. And that's even with them trolling all the good shows.

That's all they could get. Yeah. Well, if you look at the reviews, like it's all, there's a Shatana one stars that are just like, look, you. Yeah. So it's. But still, people are not coming back. No, we've finally found a podcast that has worst reviews. And we didn't even have to do southerners.

So, Kevin, we were talking at the show last time last week where the guy was explaining how we got to a car and then you hear the car door open, you hear the ignition started up and I was saying how that fully work is unnecessary and dumb and you said, no, I actually like podcasts that do that. So I wanted to help these guys out since their show sucks and I did a little bit of fully work to, I don't know, just add a little bit of texture to the story. Play Track 18. Well, the thing was, the thing was like they were all flashes. So, flashes, it's hard to tell when you stab someone you can tell. Well, that's what I'm saying. The slash is not gonna kill. Five of the canonical victims were slashed.

When they started talking about slash I was like oh I'm listening. G-Dar is back together. Let's talk about Slash. I would have listened to the show if I actually had welcome to the jungle Inders person to do it. Well of course. That's actually my new show. It's called exclusively guns and roses fully work back on crime and roses. That's the show. Oh boy. I have, I have, we've been playing too many clubs, Kevin. This is a rare moment where you and I both found lots of things to listen to, but yeah, I do have one more that I really want to play. Okay.

Did you hear it near the end when they played the fake fan letter? No, I don't know how I miss this either. All right. Play track 22. But she says, maintain the exceptional work. Yeah. Exclamation point, exclamation point.lamation point loving it exclamation point. Oh, that's real right wrong Love that

Even even the call. Oh, it's just a belief me. He's like, oh, yeah, that's real. Yeah, I think there's no way someone's loving this show. That's fake is shit That's faker than prison and Obama's burst of terror. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, this was just a horrendous pile of stinky manure this podcast was not fun to listen to it. There was it was infinitely clip, as you can see for both of us fucking come on up with a shit ton of clips, which is fucking rare for me.

It is rare. Well, I'm glad you finally didn't feel bad. You're like, yeah, fuck these assholes, they suck. Well, knowing that they were pulling this horse shit, that's like to me a real fucking dick move. So like, I wouldn't bad mouth, oh, let me take that back. I was about to say I wouldn't bad mouth another podcast,

but that's basically what we do here on this show. But, I wouldn't like commit it to written record on a review and try to sway people to come to our show. I've never once got on cocktails and centaurs review and be like, these girls suck, you should come listen to WADB. Well, we wouldn't do that because no one listens to cocktails in such a hurry.

Well, we'd want to go to a show that, anyway, someone actually cared about. Yeah. So I don't have anything else to say about the show besides it's you know horrendous and And no one should ever listen ever No, it's it's really just bottom notch and these shitheads should never ever do a show again It's not gonna get better. Well, this is you know, it's there's only seven

I think this is the seventh episode so there's's still time for this. This is up to nine. Oh, it was nine. Yeah, five. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. They should definitely stop. Yeah, I mean, it's not too, you know, they're not too far in where they could just turn around and just not do it anymore. They could probably return the microphone that they bought to Walmart at this point. I think in that probably it's still within the 90 day day window maybe. Do you think they're using a microphone or do you think that it's just old laptop? I think it's like a set one of those cassette. Yeah, I think it's a memory tape in there. The 90-meter tapes. We got to talk about Jack the Ripper today.

Oh, no, we got a turn tape over. That's pretty much what we have to do at the 45 minute mark every fucking show. Yeah, pretty much we were turning the tape over. Turn the tape over, fucking Skype. It's the same as a 90 minute tape. Jesus Christ. Oh, shit. So Kevin, this has been a horrendous podcast and man, it's a little bit fun to hate. I got to be honest. Yeah, it feels good for me to not feel like sorry. You didn't apologize once and for that. That is wow. That says something. In case these crime and cocktail spellers are listening to the show right now, that's impressive. You guys were so bad that Kevin didn't even feel bad about riffing. I got to do that.

That's a first. I got a shout out from DLR that I did. Thank you. Diamond Dave. Diamond David Lee Roth here, people. I can't give his voice. I need to learn how to do David Lee Roth. Well, that's why that's why we have him here. Oh, that's true. Yeah, well

He said he was working on another album and then he may not be able to stay so I don't know I feel like I should probably learn how to do his voice. We don't have to keep paying them and You know keep them. God damn it baby. No, I'm gonna tell you one time them a baby no I'm gonna tell you what I'm all right okay dude all right he's still got it yeah he does still have it I guess it's still got it yeah so real quick show note for everybody we encourage you to go to our iTunes page and leave us positive reviews if you haven't already. We also encourage you to go to our Facebook page and who are these.com. We just posted a couple of videos of some of the recent jingles from the jingles department. So if you want to listen to the 007 bag slapper song or any of the other fun jingles that we've been doing lately.

You can check those out. Do we have those up on our website, Cap? Not yet. No, I'll get those up there. Okay. And now there's some artwork submitted by a listener named Joe Hines, which I've never, I don't know who that is, but thank you. Well, he's becoming famous now.

He's becoming famous, but thank you, Joe Hines, for submitting some artwork to the show. And, uh, yeah, this was, uh, uh, an interesting episode this week, but it was the holiday. So I was kind of like, uh, fuck it, you know, I'm not really, wasn't really too too bothered by it, but it was not fun. It was not good. Not fun. Kevin, next week, you know, we're going to do this all over again. And I do have a clip from the show that we'll be listening to next week. I call it next week's a teaser. Oh, okay. We weren't into shoving anything of anyone's assholes in my house growing up. Let me say that, all right? That is probably true of a lot of the country.

As Blinkwinnity II, an inferior band of Creed one said, yes, the state looks down on Sadame. Wow, what a quote. And you're right. And they were right. They still are. Uh, what? right and they were right. They still are. What? All right. So this is a listener suggestion. Thank you to Jackie for giving us this suggestion for us to check out. This podcast is called Step by Step. This is episode 19, the first Creed Thanksgiving

from November 25th, 2016. Kevin, the premise of this show is that every Creed song, Scott Step Everot, was influenced by a specific episode of the sitcom, Step by Step. Oh my God. Yes. So this, what they're gonna do in this show

is they're going to analyze an episode of Step by Step. In fact, I believe they're going in order. I believe it's the 19th episode of Step by Step. And they're gonna talk about how one of those really terrible Creed songs is influenced by that episode. Wow. This is a very specific niche.

I know. I was thinking the same thing. I'm like, of all the podcast ideas you and I have come up with, we've never even come close to this idea. Oh my God. Okay. Have you ever watched Step by Step? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I remember.

Yeah, I remember it was there was one of the T.D. Was that the one with the retarded black kid? No, that was family matters. Yeah, I remember it was there was one of the was that the one with the retarded black head No, that was that was family matters family matters. Okay, that was Stephen Erickle. No family. Step by step was Pat patrick Duffy was the dad and it was kind of like a What was that the guy who they found out was molesting children? Patrick Duffy No, that was the death from Elf No, that was a death from Elf

No, that was close But yeah, you're right, good flight Step by step was like kind of like a modern-day Brady bunch, so it was Patrick Duffy had like three kids and then Susan Summers Susan Summers Yeah, she's the blonde Perky chick, right wasn't that so is it anyway the one from fucking. I yeah, yeah, her that was her and she's the wife and she has Three kids and they all live together because they've gotten married now

all lived together because they've gotten married now. You're talking to me. Zach, same promises to the wedding. I'm pretty sure that that was the deal. But then there was this dude named Cody. And Cody slept in a van in the front yard of the house. And Cody was like the surfer deed. He would come in and like, add comic relief to the sitcom did and then it turned out that that guy that guy I guess was also in some movies called kickboxer

started by Jean-Claude Van Damme but that guy also was arrested for beating up his wife I think at some point the guy who played Cody souddy. So, uh, how are you just, are you just out there wiki pd of fated? No, I'm literally not. This is actually coming off the top of my head because this is what I remember. I guess I watch a lot of TV. So, I know this. But, uh, yeah, that was a step by step. It was a TGIF deal and they, they used to do crossovers with family matters. So they'd have like, or like the daughter from family matters, or whatever they used to do, like, you know, cross promotion of shows for TGAF.

So that was way more than you did to know about step by step. But I don't know, I didn't would care about any of this. I'm sure they. I know more about step by step than step by step. I'm sure it knows about step by step. Oh, well, then this this will be interesting that maybe you'll remember this episode. Maybe. Yeah, so I can't believe that people come up with these ideas,

but whatever. At least it's not them going. We're going to watch we're going to watch Al and get drunk. That's the premise of the show. Wait, wasn't that idea? What I love about the the listener who wrote into us is she starts off by saying, my apologies if you've already heard this one or done a show. No, we've never heard a step by step. That is not at our radar. This was definitely new sauce. Thank you. There's so many of them out there. Apparently she did not care for this show. She thought it she thought it kind of sucked. So I'm guessing it will. I'm guessing it will I'm guessing it will but I don't want to I don't want to be prejudice just because it's about two things I Lowe 90 sitcoms and Creed Maybe it maybe we'll make it work oh

My god, we discovered a show Recently from the I believe it was the 80s probably mid 80s called rip tide oh my god you gotta look this up look up at for the audience look up rip tide it's like two like quasi-hansom detectives and then a fucking complete nerd dude and a robot dude has a giant robot and the guy's like no you walk down with the glasses and stuff. Yeah dude it's hilarious. If you can find there's actually there's full episodes on like YouTube. I didn't remember this but my girlfriend and I were on vacation and in a place that didn't have cable.

So we were getting like the local rerun channel type of thing and they were playing this show and I was like, what? I was laughing my balls off of it because it was so funny. And then I'm thinking, there's no way if this went past like one season and then it turns out it did like four seasons

or something like that. Oh, shit. Because they would just throw money at anything in the 80s for TV But look up Riptide this robot is so stupid looking it looks like crow From mystery science theater with an iPad out its chest. Yeah, it's funny because in the intro to which we watch the other day We watch the intro so season one is like a very basic intro riptack, because you know, they weren't sure of themselves. It was a new show. But they kept this footage of this robot going over it like a pier into the water, which is hilarious.

And then we watched, I think it was season three in episode for season three, and they had completely redone the intro. So the intro was all like jazzed up and eighties up and everything and then they still kept the poor robot driving off the driving off the top. You gotta keep that foot as that cost us four years for bucks. Exactly. We'll be the show our Mad Max Amazon. Goddamn rip time. We'll be the short rundex all of a sudden. Yeah. Oh.

Goddamn, Riptime. Why don't we make one of them a nerd and then we'll get a robot? Of course, you would have a robot, it was a nerd. Oh. Wait, well, Grace Suggestion Cavitt everyone will go on YouTube and check out Riptime. Yeah. And then when they're done doing that, check back on your podcast app, because you're going to want to join us again next week.

It might be the episode where you find out once and for all. Who are these podcasts? Sleep well, every pony. Party of the world is the morning radio. Hey, cow, this show is cold right now. of Morning Radio. I I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

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