Who Are These Podcasts? - Ep45 - Darkest Night

Episode Date: January 15, 2017

It's our second episode of 2017 and we couldn't be happier to bring you another scripted podcast we have reviewed.  The show is called Darkest Night and features some famous voices acting through a script with more holes than a truck stop men's room.  Kevin and Karl plod their way through another doozy and talk about the C word (rhymes with bunt).  Yep, it's WATP at it's finest and we are back from break!  Enjoy the mania! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hello and welcome to another episode of Who Are These Podcasts. I'm Kevin and I'm Carl and we listen to podcasts so you don't have to. We want to remind our listeners you can visit us on WhoAreThese.com, our Facebook page, or on Twitter at Who Are These Pod. We're always looking for a new podcast suggestion so leave us a comment or post a death threat. Today we'll be reviewing a show called Darkest Night. As always we have listened to the episode separately, we've not discussed it with

each other beforehand, so without further ado, let's find out for once and for all, uh, who are It's show time. I Don't be allowed to do W. A. T.P. We're back, everybody. We're back. We're back. We're back. We're back. We're back.

Happy 2007 to eat. We have this our first show of the new year. That is correct. I believe you had a little time. Well the last one we recorded on New Year's Eve. I don't know when it came out, but it came out on the first. So, technically, it's our first recorded show of the new year. Whatever. And Kevin Kevin if I can make a bold prediction for 2017 I'm gonna say this is the year that we find out podcasts are mostly terrible. Oh really? Okay. I have I have a feeling Most podcasts suck. They're they're a horrible medium and no one should be doing them

they're a horrible medium and no one should be doing them. Including us. Leave it to the professionals, Bable. Yes. Speaking of professionals, the show we listen to this week, Darkness Night, is actually a pretty professional production of a podcast. Yeah, and you had mentioned last episode that there's some famous people, or some of

the famous people in here, I guess, that are doing some of the voices, which I was surprised by. I was rather shocked how well put together the podcast is, not the content per se, but the cast of people they've assembled and the audio quality and things like that are really, really good. So why don't we get into it. I have a clip on here that's actually was used in the T's last week, but I think this does a pretty good job of conveying what the episode's all about.

Track number five, it's called pulling an eyeball out. Now just squeeze the four steps on the eyeball and pull. Make sure not to pull too hard. We need to keep the optic nerve intact. Piece of cake. And got it. So I pulled that clip for two reasons. One, it's got the ridiculous sound effect of an eyeball being pulled out. Right, right. And secondly, it's that thing on these podcasts where they have to explain what they're doing out loud. Okay, I got it. Like he's standing right next to you. I don't think you have to explain. You got it. Yeah. This sound effect to me the first time I heard it. It sounds like someone's

making a peanut butter jelly sandwich and then they're pulling it apart. Or like, or like a girl's like really excited. She spreads her legs. It's like, yeah, or maybe she's a little bit unclean. And spread it like this. Yeah, and I have another real quick example of that. Number 15, I call explaining what happened out loud for no reason.

Vivian sized up one of the wooden columns of the four-poster bed, hefting the mallet like a baseball bat. poster bed, hefting them out like a baseball bat. Oh, it went right through that thing. That's great about that. Is that she's alone in a room. There's nobody else there. And she's like, wow, it went right through that thing. And also that thing is thick.

Yeah. And it's surprising that this thing would go through it. Well, yeah, they rely on the narrator a lot, obviously to set up some of it, which I understand that they need to do. And the narrator is played by Lee Pace, which you had mentioned last episode too. Lee Pace being semi-famous. I mean, he's on a... Not, I don't know if we call it a hit TV show at AMC but it's a it's a big show that it was renewed and stuff and it was renewed. Well I think it's in their fourth house.

In their fourth season. Got the thing go down. Yeah well it's been renewed. It's been I know all the lingo yeah so, so But I lovely paces voice like he does a really good job, and it's like I wonder if he knew what the hell he was even doing Because I like really would you kind of stoop to doing some weird Podcast where you're doing a narration voice. I mean obviously he knows what he's doing because he's he's saying all these ridiculous things I think it's safe to say he knows what he's doing. He's not being blindfolded and drugged.

Save these words. He knows what he's doing. I have an example of that girl in the empty room again. Okay. Okay, five minutes. What can I do in five minutes? Okay, think. Okay. There has to be something I can do instead of just sitting around waiting for Reggie to unlock the door. Master paint. Yeah, five minutes. I mean, what's out? Flick your bean. You got five minutes to get it done. So I'll explain as well as I can

understand at the premise of what we're listening to. So the beginning of the podcast is a bunch of these assholes that actually produce the podcast. So they talk about, hey, this is what you're gonna hear. And then they plug a bunch of shit. And then they are assholes. Yeah, they definitely are. And they talk over each other and it's really fucking hard to hear. All right, Kevin, I got to interrupt you. Can I just play a couple of clips from that? Yeah, yeah. Because these fucking guys, it really takes you out of it. Track one is called the creators crack themselves up. My name is Miguel Lopez. I did nothing on the project. Other than casting

some voices and that's... What else did I do? You acted in it and that's really about it. You acted, bro! Oh yeah! That's right! Oh, these fucking guys suck And then one more just real quick. So they're promoting shutter, which is a streaming service that you have to pay five bucks a month for or something like that. And I call this one very natural delivery when promoting shutter. So what's really cool about what we're doing with shutter? The episodes will actually be released a week ahead on shutter.

Maybe you want to have a script in front of you. About a shutter. Is it like the up episodes on shutter will be released on shutter? It was super obnoxious. Go on with your recap. Okay, all right. So we got the creators of the actual show talking about the show and then we kind of dive into the episode here. So it starts out with a lab assistant and a scientist examining, and this is the clip that you played pulling an eyeball out of a head.

So it's like a severed head, which I also, this is a just a really dumb clip from that. Say hello to your first subject. Seventh head, crushed skull. Will all of our subjects be just the heads? As far as I know, what do you know about Project Cyclops? Not much. Get used to that.

Get used to that. Oh, that little banter back and forth is so obnoxious. I have a track out here. We're never gonna get to the premises. I have a track out here that I call. Let's take 15 seconds to get the backstory out of the way. It's so unnatural, the way this is scripted and This is literally the first thing that happens when they start the story play track 4

Oh, are you not retiring in a few months? They told me this is But who's counting right and you've been at the center for 35 years and you're working on your PhD, right? Just a few years away. This is my first lab assistant job. And you have two kids in a dog named Muffy right? Yes that's true. You're wearing a white shirt. Yes, that's high. All right we get it. It's so dumb. It is so dumb. I just I love that that line that she's like are all the things we're gonna be working on heads? Is that a normal thing that a fucking lab assistant would be saying?

Sorry, to the premise, okay, so you got these two people in a lab work them on a head and they pull out the eyeball and they do some bullshit with the eyeball and the optic nerves so they can actually replay the memories of that dead person. And that's how that's how that works. It's stored in your eyeball. Everything you see, you have a certain amount of drive space within your optic nerve and you can save, you know, depending on how you can press the video, you can save so much of what you actually see. Well, I don't know if you know,

but behind your eyeballs are zip drives. You can just say, yeah, you just put this old school zip drives. They never, never really upgraded, but. So the actual meat of the story, if you will, is them watching or the playback of this memory coming from this person's optic nerve or whatever. Which, Kevin, I didn't realize that until the end. Yeah, yeah.

There's a huge problem with that. The severed head is this guy who dies in the story. But then when they watch back his memories, it's all from the perspective of a totally different character who is not in the same place as the guy who dies. Yeah, I know that's a huge gaping hole. That makes zero sense. Did the writer just scuff? I know it's gonna pay attention. Well it goes like the way that they do the fade into this story from like the scientists,

it makes you forget all about that. So by the time you're, you know, 40 minutes at the end of this podcast, they kind of come out of that. I think I might have a clip like that. All right, maybe not. But they come out of it and it's a little rusty people. We've been offered No, they come out of it. They're clipped up. No, no, no, no, okay, keep going They come out of it and it's you know, it's the two scientists talking again

You're like, oh, yeah, Now I remember that this was a whole, like it's that far removed that you forget that that is the whole premise of the thing. All right. Here's another plot, oh, Cap. And I, we do have to explain what this story is. So I'm jumping the gun. The severed head is the head of the son

of the owner of the lab So how is this just like oh here's our specimen? We're just gonna work on this like wouldn't somebody be like Hey, I know that guy. He comes here all the time. Right. Yeah, so there so there's like this Comically voiced old guy who's dying now and this is a very kind of worn premise this whole thing so he gathers His three kids to a will reading and it's a video will so they play the video and it's This old dude which is honestly the worst fucking old dude impression. Dude I have a fact that I'm sure you do too. Yeah.

Let me hear some old man voice. Okay. So I assume all three of you are here. Yes. Why is he? I'm sure that by now, dear, this little Claire has grown impatient. Okay. So that is so cheesy, that voice.

As you can tell, I'm getting up there in ages. Yeah, it's like the quintessential old man voice. Like if you were going to do an old man, that's exactly what you would do first. And then you'd perfect it from there, but they never perfect it. Yeah, you'd get a little bit of it back. Yeah, it was so, like, I'm old,

and you're gonna fight to the death. And that's exactly what the premise is. So he's got these three, you know, kids. Two of them are complete and utter assholes that are looking for his money because he's dead now. The Reena's will. And then the one kind of main character girl, we find out later is adopted, but it doesn't really fucking matter at all. But they're all... I don't know where to wait, she's adopted. And they keep saying that. They're like, well, you're adopted. You don't get anything from the well.

You're like, that's like, that's how that works. When you're adopted, you still have a right to the will of whatever. Right, I don't want to get it. It was really dumb. Yeah, so they're like bickering with each other. And I got some who I call the smarmy son. This is another horrible, horrible version of a rich kid voice. Yes, rich guy voice.

Here we go. This reeks of father. She's right. And this does seem like father's kind of thing. I'm only here. Oh, so Kevin, I had that exact same clip. So this asshole, and he doesn't at the end of the show too, he's all proud of himself. Yeah. This asshole is, oh, this is how rich people talk. And I'm curious you didn't know. And I'm wondering if there isn't a time in history

when this impression started. Play Rich Guy Voice Impression, the track I have here. I thirst and howl the third being of Soundmine and Body. Dr. Fast Downing. Yes, yes, of course. I thirst and howl the third being Soundmine and Body. Do hereby be Queeth and Devise. All my holdings and the Transcontinental railroad to one Gilligan. So did that voice exist before Thurson Howell III or did he kind of create that?

Oh, this is how rich people talk when they're shipwrecked with idiots. No, that's a very good point. I guess that's probably or like WC fields like like you have that kind of like draw to it or whatever but when I heard that guy doing that voice I was just like oh really that's that's what you're doing that's just fucking lame. Yeah it's like you can almost hear the sweater around his neck. I mean like it's like it's a dickie. Of course,

fall that would feel that way. And then, so, sorry, I turned into Herman Munster at the end. Lully. Yeah, so the three of them are in this house being read the will by some asshole. And essentially what they have to do is they're now sent to different rooms, locked in those rooms with a present that was left for them. And then over an intercom, their dead father tells them all these things that they have to do, and it's essentially they have to kill each other, and the one who survives gets the inheritance. Right, so it turns into the Hunger Games. Is that what I've never seen.

I don't know what I'm talking about. No, this is exactly the Hunger Games. In fact, I have a track on here. They even do the intercom with the person telling them, like, play track 12. As she walked, Mr. Lopto's voice filled the estate over the loudspeakers. All contestants have entered the playing field. Let the games commence. I can't believe you haven't seen Hunger Games, So that makes it more difficult to talk about this.

But even that little music that do do do, I swear that's exactly from the Hunger Games like when someone dies, that's the music they play. It's very odd that they would rip it off that noticeably. Well, I mean, the whole premise, it feels a lot like clue, like that movie clue from the board game or whatever, or like those dangerous game we don't we know the movie where the movie clue goes wrong you know that movie from the board game yeah you know that like for the 13-year-olds that are listening to the podcast they have no fucking clue sorry or that movie mouse trap in shoots and letters you know you remember

shoots and letters? Remember Poops and Splatters, which was a porn compilation of, anyway. Hey, yeah. So I mean, the premise has been, you know, don a million times or whatever. So we've got the main character here, and she finds a croquet mallet and her

present that she unwraps And that's actually the sound that you played before is her Smashing the croquet mallet through the bedpost what she proclaims to no one in the room holy crap It just destroyed this And the other two characters the, the smarmy asshole son, who we later find out is the head that we're examining on the table. And then the bitchie sister, older sister, who is played by Missy Pyle, who I don't know if the audience might know that name, but she was in Dodgeball and she's been in a bunch of comedies and stuff. So that's kind of the premise. So they all have a weapon. I think hers is a it's a hairbrush with the bristles replaced

with nails like that's her just really shitty weapon to give your shitty daughter. And then the guy, I think, has like a mace or something like that, that's like the weapons that they have. So the whole thing progresses and they're basically killing each other and they have zero problem with this premise at all. All of them are like, oh yeah, well,

I'm just gonna totally kill each other. So before you go any further, I have an example of this called underacting. I've never used this term before, but they just hear over the intercom that you, they have to kill each other. And that's who's going to get all of the money that this guy is leaving behind, which seems extreme. Right.

But listen to the way this woman reacts right after hearing it. Play track 14. I will be unlocking the doors in five minutes, so prepare yourselves. Good luck. Well, okay, five minutes. What can I do in five minutes? Okay, think. Yeah, masturbate. Yeah, right. That old gag. Could you imagine if you just heard like, okay, now you have to fight to the death with your siblings. And we're gonna start in five minutes. I'd be like, all right, I got five minutes. All right, let me think. That would fucking

freaking out. It is really stupid. They accept that premise of like that they have to kill each other. So way too easily. Way too easily. Yeah. And it's funny because there's so much build up too. They're like, listen, if you try to leave the house, you'll be shot in the head.

There are people outside guarding it. If you do anything, you know, we're gonna get you all this buildup and you don't have to do any of that. The kids are just like, yeah, we'll kill each other. Yeah, here's the heck. I got a clip of X. I thought it was really funny. One, do not stray from the grounds of the estate. Doing so will earn you a bullet through the head. I love that the guy gives it two shits about his three kids too. He's just like, you know, hey, if you, you know, you try to escape, we'll just kill you. Like, there's no, you know, no problem here. I love that this is his attorney who is putting this meeting on showing the

video. And the whole premise is, you guys are often murder each other. In what world would somebody get away with this and who's a who's a turdy would be like all right yeah that's what he wants. I need you to draft my will. I want all my kids to kill each other and I also want little Jimmy to get my Iraq Z that's in my crotch. And to Billy my fantasy football team. So you were just playing that thing where he starts going through the rules. I have on here this is a cliche element that they always use but they do it wrong play track 13 For No other rules

You can't have all those rules and like there are no other rules I rule one rule two rule three and it's like rule four There are no other rules. I okay. It's fine. There can be three rules You're not pressing it. You know That's supposed to be rule one. There are no rules. Right. You use all of its gusto The NFL rule book you read through hundreds of pages at the end of the coast. The final rule is don't go on this. This is the gate when you just read. It's too bad. That is. So basically then it just unfolds with them killing each other or getting into conflicts and there's way too much dialogue.

If you were, okay, Kevin, you have a sibling. I have a couple of siblings. If you were engaged in murdering them, would you have a conversation at the same time? I feel like the conversation part would be moving on. Right, yeah, they do a lot of conversation between the actual killing blows, if you will. And it's very comical because of course it's a podcast,

so they have to add the sound effects and then be like, ah, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, like, you know, that kind of shit. And it reminded me so much of the whole thing, actually, just reminded me of an old comedy album that I just want to play. So this is kind of like when the girl gets hit. Okay. I'm gonna die, bitch.

I'm coming out of the booth. Oh my fucking leg. Right. So that's told booth Willie but the whole thing just like I was thinking about it because this sounds like an old Adam Sandler like bit or something because they're you know they're all I mean here's here's another quick told with Willie thing and it's like it's the same kind of thing it's all the sound effects and you're kind of listening and So is that wait was that Tim meadows? Yeah that was Tim Meadows. Yeah. Do they really have to hire Tim Meadows just to read that line? You're a fucking idiot.

I feel like if I think I'm gonna punch that one up a little bit. Yeah so there's a lot of that kind of comically bad acting of you know getting smashed with a croquet mallet or whatever it is. Yeah so not to spoil what is a very very riveting podcast but the main character survives she kills her sister and there's a nice exchange which I clipped for between her and her bitchie sister which this happens. That's when they're about to kill each other. I thought it was really I just loved the... Yeah that is well done. If you're gonna throw a C-bomb in a podcast that music and everything they did there

Mwah Well, it's funny to me because I feel like the word cunt is like It's kind of lost its juice No pun intended, but it's lost. It's It's lost. It's your saying it's a dry cunt is what you're saying. Well, yeah, but it's like everybody says it now Like it used to be one of those words that if you send that to a girl like you were gonna get punched in the face now Like people throw it around like it's nothing. I don't know. It's just weird. That's just observation I guess it's an observation

But my will It didn't stick out because this this show is trying to be mainstream. Right. You know, they're on shutter, which is an AMC streaming service. It's, it's, they have Hollywood actors, as you've mentioned. So it seems pretty mainstream. And then also, they just throw a C-bob in there. I don't know where you're like, oh, okay.

Yeah. So the girl wins, if will and kills her siblings and There's some just kind of gross shit in there like she smashes her brother's face in with the with the croquet mallet Hence the crushed skull comment from the beginning of the show and Like they show like they have to make a point of saying, she tried to pull the mallet away and it was stuck to his skull. It was embedded in his skull. And then they hear it like another sandwich opening like, you know, like a bootstuck in mud. Only wetter. Only wetter.

But yeah, so you get a lot of that stuff and then there is, you know, you expect, I guess something at the end to be kind of like a twist and I guess that's what they did because they come out of this whole story back into the two scientists and you're like to me I was taking it back I was like oh yeah I forgot that they're looking at a fucking human head and this is what what it didn't make any sense because they're watching this I guess video for lack of a better term play back from this person's memories right but it has full audio and it's in stereo. I don't understand how I do this.

Or it doesn't make any sense. When you fast forward it to you're those scientists. I was boring. Yeah, seriously. Um, yeah. So they, they talk about, uh, there's some, it's classified and the scientists, head scientists could start getting pissed off. like don't say anything to anybody about this and Then it's revealed that the

That the daughter who won is now in charge of the company. She's inherited the company and she's I guess the owner of the lab kind of like you said Well, yeah, she got it in the will I have a couple of clips from that part that I want to play. Kevin, so when they come back to the scientists in the lab, play track 16 and I'll explain why this is stupid. But something wasn't right. The images kept coming after the patient passed on. You might have been something in a new algorithm

or some sort of glitch or test images gone haywire. Okay, so they're wondering why this guy would be murdered and then she goes out and kills her sister and why would that be in this guy's memories or in whatever is happening in the optic nerve. But that's dumb, but the dumbest part is he goes, oh, must be something in the algorithm. Do people not know what algorithms are? They must not.

They just think it's technology. Yeah. Algorithms equals technology because if you did have technology, they could play back the video from someone's optic nerve, you wouldn't need an algorithm. There's no searching of data. The algorithm part is fucking retarded, right? Yeah, yeah. That's one of those words that people throw around People throw that around like they throw around glitch as another word like

It's too. Yeah, they say both. Oh, how come we we're able to see video after he died It must be a glitch. That's not what a glitch is People love that that's one of those like computer terms, you know, from IT that people have adopted to mean whatever the hell they want it to mean now. And that's kind of the same thing with algorithm. Like that's a, it's like, oh, that's a cool sounding word that means some complicated stuff. So you need in the news all the time. Like they, they, they had a emergency landing of a Delta flight due to a glitch. You're like, well, hold on a second. Can we get a little

bit more specific? A glitch? That doesn't make any sense. Well, it's a catch all term, you know, I mean, I, I, I, I'll admit it, I'm in IT and I, I use it too, you know, just sometimes people up. Yeah, exactly. that's exactly what it is. It's like you just want you know People are like well, why didn't this why didn't this work or why did this fail? I don't know. I was a glitch You know, you know I'm like well I rebooted with an older version of an idiot So and then after they play the video and the lab assistant is like,

holy shit, that's the owner of the lab who's not video murdering her brother. They, the head scientist gives this amazing advice, track 17. Look, I'm not your official mentor, but here's some free advice. Don't push it. It seems to me like you're the expert, Mark. He's building this up. I'm gonna give you some free advice. And then it's don't push it.

What? Okay. Thanks. Thanks to you. Yeah, that character was really bad as well, just like... I'm a scientist and I'm going to be retiring. Like the way you like... The state is 13 hours and 27 minutes when it's something that's coming! Yeah, it's something that's very quick if you need it! Take the eyeball out and put it in the specimen cup. Please.

Very good. Now I need you to. Yeah, I was. I don't know why we don't get helpin' for this shit. I feel like this is our demo reel right now. Pretty much. Yeah, I think we're gonna get a call from whatever fuckin' chucklefucks these are that put this thing together. Hey, shudder! we're here, man.

It's so big. It looks so big. I have a clip that's an ISO on here, Kevin. So it doesn't really make sense, but I promise I'm going to be able to use this on future shows when we listen to future podcasts. It's perfect. Time to quit talking.

I was, when I heard that, I was like, yes, that is correct. It's time to quit talking. I have one more clip that I just called Jabbering. And this is now where we're dumb with the scientist part. We're back to the creators of the show who are just fucking talking over each other and being generally assholes that are hard to listen to. And I don't know for a podcast that's essentially pretty well done as far as production goes, why they tacked this bullshit with exception of the shutter plug, why they even have this on here it to me it takes away from the show because they're trying to do like this dramatic

Thing and then they come into here and they're all fucking goofing around like whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo So here's a clip of that It's a conspiracy movie about the government Since you guys have not seen the government since you guys have not seen him. I'm speaking because both of you, well all three of you, frankly, are. All right. So obviously one of those assholes did the old man voice. And he's very. Yeah.

He thinks it's the best thing ever. Look back, play real real quick play track 18 and Dude what a cool voice that guy has Nope I see the irony in me saying boy this guy does that impression because he thinks it's really good I get the irony in that Having having done the same fucking impressions for whatever 45 episodes now,

but this one is just ridiculous. Like I don't understand if they were trying to be fun. Yeah, but I gotta stop you real quick. When you do your impressions, where it's for the goof, these fucking assholes are doing a dramatic, acting performance. It's very different.

Right, but I guess that's what I was saying. Like, is this supposed to be kind of tongue in cheek? Like the... No. No. All right. This is very serious. Because I was getting that vibe,

like when the guy started doing the old man voice at the end, I'm like, all right, well, maybe it was supposed to be kind of hokey, like it was supposed to be ridiculous like that. But I should get that sense. If you took off the beginning and end where those assholes are talking, and you just listen to the podcast, there is no evidence that they're trying to be tongue-in-cheek or hokey at all.

It is very serious. Yeah, and now that I think about it, I guess that's true. It's just... I don't understand the need to have this... rapper... Let me play a more cleft because I was actually reading the reviews on iTunes of this podcast. And people like this show, the one thing that everyone bitches about is these assholes talking before and after. And that it's, it's actually almost brilliant that they're so annoying because what they're

selling is shutter. And when you get the episode on shutter, you don't have to listen to them. It just has the episode. The thing that they don't realize though is that everyone has a podcast player where you can fast forward by 30 seconds at a time, anytime you want. You're not forced, this is a radio, you're not forced to listen to it. You just stop listening at the end when they come back out. But anyway, I digress. I have a few more clips that I want to play from these assholes. Trek 3, so this is the beginning before they go into the episode.

And this is just a little pet peeve of mine. I hate when people use the word actually. I hate the use of that word when it's used like this. And we'll be back after the episode's done. And we'll actually tell you a cool little story from making this episode. Well, I actually tell you a cool little story. Well, you will actually, that was just like that.

Which by the way, they don't. I didn't hear any cool stories. Yeah, I don't think they came back to this. They must have forgotten, even though they actually promised to do this. I hate the word actually. Another word that I hate that people throw out there. And again, these are just filler words that I key in on for some reason. The word really, I don't know if you noticed this, Kevin, but when they went back to the creators after the show was over, how many times they used the word really?

I put together a little montage of that. She was really cool. It's really dope. Really cool streaming app. All of these really, really, really cool horror movies. You get to really hear and really hear the lack of love. I really, like, we really put a lot of effort in this and you can really hear the difference. It really improves it.

So what I thought would be really cool. Really good movies that are in just classics. Really with 7A! That's so fucking annoying. Kevin, you know what's really, really cool about WATP is that we really listen to these podcasts and we actually make fun of them for really sucking. Yeah, that's really correct. Like I will, I will really get up in the morning and put on this podcast the day of the show and I will really clip all of these things that I can clip to try to

make as many clips as I can so it doesn't seem like I've been slacking for a week. That's really, doesn't seem like I've been slacking for a week. That's really, really how I do these this podcast. Well, and I want to add that you actually clipped parts of the podcast this week. I really did. I really, really did. Alright, I got a few more. So we've really shit. I just did it. I hate this. I hate that we key it on so many things that people do. It's impossible not to do them. Right. Right. I'm probably gonna lip smack and say like in a second. We've gone through the entire episode. I'm gonna have a quick confession. I actually kind of liked it. After all this nonsense of us saying that it sucked, it wasn't the worst podcast I've ever heard.

I kind of enjoyed the story and thought it was pretty well produced. Wow. I'm surprised to hear that. I had a feeling you would be, I listened to it last night and wasn't sure what to make of it. I listened to it again this morning and I was like, yeah, I'm not bored out of my mind. It's semi-interesting,

the way that the story all comes together, even though it doesn't make sense. There's lots of plot holes. I've heard a lot worse. Is this the most fun of that? New years resolution for you. I know, no, I forgot. What's more than that zombie fucking zombie fucking show we less than do?

Yeah. Alright, so I just have a few more clips. This one is called Bad Acting Example, Play Track 6. Wow. I knew the center was doing super advanced things when I never expected this. Again, someone who sees the dialogue and just reads it. Wow.

I knew that the center was doing exciting things. The word wow should be a clue that you have to have a certain emotion when you read that. The next clip I have I call unnecessary voiceover. You had mentioned that the narrator will talk through, but then there's also times when the characters are saying what they're doing and this time just struck me as it's funny because they hit it both ways. Yes, Reggie hit play. Quit looking at me like that and do it already. Jesus. Reggie hit play on the video. Reggie hit play. Reggie hit play. Okay, we get it. He pressed his finger on the play button.

Yeah. And you know, the narrator, I understand in this concept, it's necessary. You kind of need to have a narrator to kind of push things along. Otherwise, you will have, you know, people like in the zombie thing where they're literally saying everything that they're doing. So I mean, you kind of... Hey, look at those zombies over there. What are they carrying? It looks like they're carrying people. Yeah, that one zombie has a person. Yeah, I remember how cheesy that was. You're like, oh, nobody,

nobody talks like that. And speaking of poorly scripted dialogue, play track tent. This is absurd. Hold on, hold on. What's really supposed to happen here? We're all playing a game, can't you tell? He's always enjoyed pulling strings from behind the curtain. What do you think this whole thing is? He's running this leg.

He would one of his experiments at the center. are you both talking about maybe I'm talking about? It's just now people talking all of it all of it I like the whole thing where there's all these open-ended questions It enters into scripts a lot, but you never sit around people like what do you think he's doing? I don't know. What do you think he could be up to is it's just one of his games? What are you talking about nobody taught? I don't know. What do you think he could be up to? Is it just one of his games? What are you talking about? No, what are you talking about? It's just not so. All right. It's one more from the show. And I just want to point out, again, it's a podcast and they're trying to act out. So you can't see people's facial expressions. So this is something that would never

happen in real life. This guy makes a reaction to something with a whistle. Play track 11. The center, of course, is valued around four times that amount due to the government contracts currently being exercised. Yes. You know what I mean? In a TV show or a movie, it would just show the person's face like, oh, wow, that's a lot of money. But in this, he has to be like, right. Woo-woo! It's like,

turns into a cowboy. Turns into the cowboy Curtis, I was like, well, I'm seeing dollar sign. That's amazing. I think we exaggerated that so much. I was a little Good Lord! Hey, is this on a right now? Yep So My sky started fucking up and must have someone to do with the algorithm. Yeah I think it was a glitch of the algorithm. There was a glitch of the algorithm. It's my sky. Sorry, it's screwing up That would be like a Nick Cage movie a glitch in the algorithm. I might skype, start it screwing up.

That would be like a Nick Cage movie, a glitch in the algorithm. Uh-huh. Oh, I was using my PC. There was a glitch in the algorithm. Can't somebody of the Starbucks give me the Wi-Fi password I'm trying to look at the wiki page of the declaration I love the worst decayed impression of all time. It's just a terrible impression of your impression, but it cracks me. Which is which mine is terrible too, so I don't know. It's so crazy. At least from the gates.

Oh, shit. You said the password was Coco beans. It's at all caps. I'm so angry. But this coffee is great. So, Kevin, this has been fun. It's been a while. Like I said, I enjoyed this podcast. I enjoyed clipping it. And the good news is, we're gonna do this again next week. What? We are? I know. So I thought you'd be excited.

So next, you and I are gonna listen to yet another podcast. We're gonna pull clips from it, we're gonna talk about it, we're gonna weigh pros and cons, which is something you want in this show quite frequently. And, you know, if you're listening to this podcast, you probably think I should turn this off now. What in the dough? Don't turn it off. Because I'm going to tell you, we're going to play a clip from the podcast we'll reviewing next week. And the reason why we do this, Kevin, do you know why we do this?

Uh, no, I don't. Wow, we'll tell you. It's to tease next week's episode. Wow. I'm going to be playing here. This is just a teaser. We're not going to get into it right now. But next week, we will be getting into it. All right.

I think I built this up too much. So this was a, um was a suggestion from a listener, and I've only listened to a few minutes of it, but it sounds like a doozy. Go ahead and play that clip. Fuck. What the fuck are you doing? I'm fucking itchy.

Yeah, for those of you kids, Junk's has a shirt past his nipples, and he's just scratching himself in front of us. Honestly, the fucking steroids are so fucking... I know. Look at that. Look at what? Why do you have red here, bro? Registration. Wow, that's definitely... That's like a GHB.

That's what I'm saying. Is that like a roll B? No, I literally just scratched it right across like this. Wow, just scratch it with nipples. It's in the balls from the Gino. Hehehe, he just got sound like a bunch of dudes man! Oh wow the goldmider is still here checking this out. Alright what's this one? This podcast is called Brampton Barbell Squadcast. This is episode 18 called New York Weight Cuts and Olympics.

Oh, my. It's from August of 2016. So Brampton Barbell is a powerlifting club. Oh, boy. Okay. Their mission is to share and grow the sport that they love with anyone they can. And the sport that they love is powerlifting. Now Kevin, you're not as big a sports fan as I am, but you enjoy some football and you

will watch a sporting event from time to time. Is lifting weights a sport? No, because it's not to me, because you're just picking something up that's heavy. That doesn't seem like it's putting it back down. Yeah. Like what's the, I don't understand the drama in that, you know, there's no two minute warning, there's no final drive. You don't get to go on a power play. That doesn't sound like a sport to me. Yeah, I totally agree in that. It's just

some dude lifting something and then he puts that something back down again rather aggressively. He just kind of drops it. That's like the most exciting part of the whole thing, I think. Or when they prolapse their asshole because they're right. Because they're putting it in. Okay, that far it's exciting. I stand corrected. Oh, yes. So I'm just reading the description from their iTunes page. And by the way, I don't know if this is a show that's worthy of our review. It has zero ratings and reviews. I don't know if anyone's ever listened to it. But it says,

welcome to the squad cast where members of Brampton Barbell talk about anything and everything fitness related or not, weekly. That's a terrible sentence. I struggle to even reading that. Weekly, that's a terrible sentence. I struggle to even reading that. If you have any topics or suggestions for what you want to hear on the podcast, make sure to send us an email. So Why would you want to listen to these assholes talk about Random subjects. I'm already confused. Yeah, and even if they were talking about lifting, I'm assuming that this is what it would be. So, bruh, remember that time where I picked that thing up?

Yeah, dude, you picked it up so high! I picked it up high and then I dropped it. Yeah, like that would be... You know who I blame for this podcast is Joe Rogan. All right, guys, yes, Joe Rogan is MMA and he's a weightlifter, but he's also a comedian. All right, don't think you could do this at home just because he can. Right, exactly. Yeah, I don't know what the hell this is going to be like, but judging by that, we're going to get a lot of douche chills.

I bring your sweater. Seriously. It's going to be freezing in my house. Who let all the douche in here turn the heat up? Chili. Can you close that window? I'm feeling a douche chilt giraffe here. The giraffe, a douche giraffe. Oh God. We're gonna slip a douche, try to clip this one. So be careful, wear sneakers. Oh God. All right. So, ask the listeners to please join us again next week

because it might be the episode where we find out once and for all, who are these podcasts? Sleep well, every pony. Party in the darkness of morning radio. And now to show these cold white cows. I'm gonna go back to the place where I was born I'm gonna go back to the place where I was born I'm gonna go back to the

place where I was born I'm gonna go back to the place where I was born I'm gonna go back to the place where I was born I'm gonna go back to the place where I was born I'm gonna go back to the place where I was born I don't know.

I don't get it. Makes no sense.