Who Are These Podcasts? - Ep461 - Where My Moms At?

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Starting point is 00:01:25 what a dick cuz cuz a row cuz a row slap a runie at showtime A W-A-A-T-P! A W-A-A-T-P! A W-A-A-T-P! Hello, everyone, it's a cousin who's welcome to another episode of Werner's Podcast, the only show that makes you feel like you're the most important listener because you are, I'm your host, Carl, with me today, a fan favorite and a trucker. It's Lucy Typebosh, her once over with Kaylee YouTube channel and Andy Q.

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Starting point is 00:03:44 First, we'll be reviewing a show called Where My Moms At. We have all new ones for Annie to read. She'll be on a little bit later. First, we'll be reviewing a show called, where my mom's at? We've always been separately. We have not discussed it with each other beforehand. Let's get into it. They show hosted by Christina P. AKA Christina Segura. And I had to watch the latest episode.

Starting point is 00:03:58 The reason why I did is because she had on a guest that we've talked about in this show before. This Jessica Kerson. Oh yeah, yeah. And Jessica Kerson, I've been told, is a good comic. People have told me she's a good comic. I don't know, people I respect, told me she's good. I was in her podcast and it was fucking terrible,

Starting point is 00:04:22 but this is the way that she introduces Jessica on her show. Where is Ridge? This is Jessica Kirsten on everybody. If you don't fucking know, hi everyone. She is the funniest human being on the planet. That's so nice. I had the privilege of knowing you and watching you and now watching you fucking blow up because of TikTok because people are finally getting to to know you now. Yeah. Now the funniest human on the planet sounds almost insulting.

Starting point is 00:04:51 If I said, hey, this is Lucy Tapebox, the sexiest woman on the planet today, but also to ever exist! You think I was being sarcastic, right? Yeah, 100%. Yeah, so I thought that was maybe rude. Yeah, a little bit, just a little bit. But she, no, you talking about me? I was joking. I think that that was maybe rude. Yeah, a little bit, just a little bit. But she, no, you talking about me? I was joking.

Starting point is 00:05:05 I think that she was the one. She was being rude, but my applications are high. So. I know, that's a tough way to go into it too, because these two women's have a lot of mental problems. And the entire episode, they just talk about their mental illness. So it's bizarre because they're like, whoa, we're both so funny.

Starting point is 00:05:23 Like, they're kissing each other's asses. We're both amazing. We're so good. And then they just talk about how their lives are terrible and life is how. But then Jessica will do a silly voice and cross her eyes and that's a punchline, right? Isn't that what she does?

Starting point is 00:05:37 I have a lot of examples. And I have a lot of examples, but I don't want to make this all about me. I want to get into what you guys saw in this show. And I think we started it with Lucy last time. So let's start with Lucy. All right. Where did you pick up on from, I had a similar experience.

Starting point is 00:05:57 I listened to an episode that had Chase O'Donnell, who is also a comedian that I have never heard of. Okay. And the two of them, the podcast is called Where My Moms At. So I was expecting, you know, like mom talk. Sounds like you didn't get any of that because you got the mental health bullshit.

Starting point is 00:06:14 Also, Jessica's a lesbian and it doesn't have any kids. Interesting. And the reason why I called Where My Moms At is because she's from your mom's house is the other show she does with her husband, Tom. So she calls her fans' mommies. That. I think there is.

Starting point is 00:06:29 It makes a parenthood talk on this show from time to time depending on who the guests are. I'm sure there is, but it's not necessarily all about mom talk. I don't think. What is the point of the show? Great question. I hope you have an answer for me.

Starting point is 00:06:41 I hope you did your research. I did not get an answer. You didn't get an answer on that. One, all right. I think the point an answer for me. I hope you did your research. I did not get an answer. You didn't get an answer on that one. I think the point is to do a less funny show than your mom's house. Yeah. They're like, this is too much jocularity. Let's bring it on town and do a different show that has way fewer LOLs in it. Get rid of the funny guy. Yeah. It's good for one reason why someone actually watched me on a podcast and I'll bring on my friends. And so I think that the reason that I kind of thought that it had something to do with motherhood is because in the episode that I listened to with Chesodonel, the description on YouTube said, as a wife and mother, Christina is very interested in Chesa's dating life

Starting point is 00:07:19 and Chesa gives her just what she's looking for. Okay. So, we are going to find out Chase's great idea for trying to learn about more dating prospects with my clip too. Okay. They love it. They love it.

Starting point is 00:07:33 They love it. They love it. They love it. Okay. In January. Where about? She came to me. What?

Starting point is 00:07:41 House call. The first question that you asked when somebody says, you went to a psychic is where was the psychic at? Yeah, that's a really don't follow why the fuck did you do that? Why would you waste your money in time and such horse shit would be the follow up that I would ask but you make your Gus feel stupid I guess if you did that did you have a group on? I hope you got 20% off as a good move as a psychic though just show up and be like I just knew I was supposed to be here that That's it. You were gonna call me.

Starting point is 00:08:05 Here I am. Yeah, who even knows if it was pre-schedule. That's a good point. That'll be 50 bucks. Okay. That's a good deal. That's a very good point. So in my clip two, we're actually going to find out

Starting point is 00:08:14 about the psychic's prediction, which actually has a timeline. So after hearing this clip, we can actually find out if the psychic knew what she was talking about or not. So that is going to go ahead and be clip three. We're about to find out if she's the best psychic to ever live or if she's just completely, she's lost it because she said, I'm going to meet my husband in April. This April or just in like literally right now, but a lot of psychics do that. They say this is when you're going to meet your person, but she kept going and she said,

Starting point is 00:08:54 he's from Indianapolis. He's younger than you. I said, oh, and she goes only two years. I said, okay. That's fine. He's in TV development. She had everything. She said he's not in my circle of friends. He's right outside of my circle of friends. And I just felt like that specificity

Starting point is 00:09:17 was way too specific. It was. Yeah. They go on and on and on about how great it was the psychic was so specific And I can now tell you because they are referring to April 2023 that she was supposed to meet this man Yeah, she did not meet a man and this never happened. She might have it doesn't know it yet She might meet this guy again in three years back. Remember we met in April. I was at your show. Oh, yeah It's very possible also to have that many details. You got to ask like, what's a credit card number? You got to get some good information out of the psyche. If they're going to know that many details about someone, asking for a friend.

Starting point is 00:09:53 Yeah. That's for a fat friend and Florida. So the one of the reasons that I hated this clip so much is because it gives you an example of exactly how extremely boring they are. Yeah. I feel like eyes zoned out in every single conversation that they were having. Neither of them was entertaining in any way, shape or form.

Starting point is 00:10:10 And eventually, we are also going to have to hear Christina's experience with Sykix, which is going to be clip four. I've seen Sykix. And I was like so desperate. Like, am I going to succeed in show business? No, you're not going to succeed in show business. You are going to ride the coattails of your husband and continuously make references to the fact

Starting point is 00:10:29 that you appeared on MTV's Road Rules in 1998. That is gonna be your career on a show. Is that okay? Because when we played the clip last week, the teaser, Jen goes, how do I know that woman? And I was like, well, she's on your mom's house, married to Tom, to stand up shows. And then someone wrote in the chat,

Starting point is 00:10:47 like she probably knows her from road rules. Now, obviously don't know Jen, she would not know her from road rules. But is that what she's most famous for? Is that where she got her first break? And she talks about all that time. It's the LTV, right? Yeah, and MTV.

Starting point is 00:10:59 Exactly. So it was like MTV or VH1's road rules. And she was on road rules down under, which was like season 18 or some bullshit You know they go to Australia they're out of ideas. Yeah, exactly. It was complete garbage So I wasn't able to find very much footage I was really hoping to find some footage of her on the show But I wasn't able to find a ton but I did find one clip which is going to be clip five

Starting point is 00:11:23 What is Dana she caught the heavy one there? Christina she makes like a four man collision. What is my head? It's still like... Jesus. Who's watching this garbage? Well, her head got crunched. Now we understand why she's an idiot.

Starting point is 00:11:38 But can they just play music video? Is this really interesting watching avatars run around in the rugby field? Yeah. No, it's the answer to that question. Okay, I was wondering what you thought about that. No, no. I like the concussion, that was a good part. And did you watch out road rules?

Starting point is 00:11:53 Who could get road rules guy to me? To this day, I watched the challenge. That's on CBS now, too. Okay, is that a similar format? Yeah, I'm sure. What are we talking about? It's more of like a stunt challenge thing with a lot of drinking and yelling, you know, hot people getting drunk and yelling at each other. Okay. This looks like garbage. Yeah, it doesn't look great,

Starting point is 00:12:15 but it's also not it's not that show anymore. Yeah, but yeah, people like stabbing each other in the back and getting hammered and falling off of a platform into the Twitter and John said people the back and the hammered. Yes, it's great. Yeah, no, I like that I mean, I don't remember this seems like I probably would have She seems unrecognizable from that time. This is a long time. It's old shitty footage. Yeah. What did you pick up on there Andy? What did you watch? I watched an episode with the guest was Rachel Wolfson,

Starting point is 00:12:49 who I did find to be a little bit funny. Okay. And to your guys' point, Rachel is not a mother either. So, but your explanation that of it being a spin-off of your mom's house makes a little more sense. But it's confusing though if you're just looking up a show where my mom's at, the theme song, where my mom's at. Yeah. And they spell it with an apostrophe ask because no one knows what the

Starting point is 00:13:15 plural is any fucking more. It's unbelievable to me that she's spelled like that. Anyway, keep going. Okay. Well, what else are you gonna talk about if you're from LA, except moving from LA to Texas and clip one? Isn't that a while? If someone would have told me that because I'm such a diehard Angelino in my heart, I'd be like, fuck you, Texas, you're out of your mind.

Starting point is 00:13:35 I know. And, you know, now I love it. If you really embedded, it's been a couple years. I love it. Went to a school function this morning from my five year old. It's the, would do like a fairy tale ball and the kids dress up as like princes and princes. It was so cute. Is the father there with the huge dick and the gray

Starting point is 00:13:54 sweatpants? Yeah, I was there. You're not a father. Thanks for noticing Rachel. Huge is an overstating. Compared to all the other kids in sweatpants. It just looks huge. But so yeah, I forgot that Tom and Christina, they followed Joe Rogan out to Austin, right? Yeah. Okay. So, but so she's talking about the thing with her kid and then she goes, this is why I was confused that it was a show for moms. Yeah. I'm like Rachel is not even a mom. So why is she here? Because in clip two, it's more talk mom talk. Do you think you'll have kids Rachel? What do you think? If that's in my plans, you know, I will see. Yeah, we'll see.

Starting point is 00:14:37 Yeah, that's cool. It's good to keep your options open. I say delayed as long as you can. Yeah, I really did. My plan 11th hour. It's my plan B actually. Yeah, I have a kid in the 11th hour. At least I was an attempt at a joke there. I mean it wasn't it wasn't a good one. She might not have to offer to blow Joe Rogan to get a spot at the mother ship. Maybe I can't hurt that. Yeah. All right. I know what you guys are thinking. We got Jessica Kursan. We got Christina P.

Starting point is 00:15:09 We want to get into some spicy veg talk. I want to know because this is right out of the gate. They're talking about their hotbots. They're talking about their private parts. I can't think of something. I want to bet your pussy. I mean, fuck the pussy's destroyed. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:15:23 I've had two people blow out of there. It's a, I've had none blow out of there and it's not good. I believe that. Yeah. That story checks out. So then later out of the show, after they're talking about all their mental illness and the medications they're on and all this shit that's going on in their lives,

Starting point is 00:15:41 Jessica talks about her masturbatory habits. I know you guys are very excited about this. Oh, I've just associated a lot. Have you realized that during sex, I always do. Oh, really? Well, I have, I think, I think about things I have to do the next day and I'm negative. You want to allow, it's funny. You said that about your masturbation. I don't allow myself to have pleasure. Yeah. Yeah. I knew it's funny. Every time I masturbate, I think of you saying that. I know you're disillusioned. I'm like, I'm going to allow myself. I knew it's funny every time I masturbate I think if you saying that. I know you

Starting point is 00:16:05 disillusioned. I'm like, I'm gonna allow myself. I told you my, when I'm not joking my vibrator is like a jackhammer. It's that it's that magic wand. It's this big. And it's from 1970 and as peace is missing from it and you have to plug it into a wall. You think I'd get a new one, but I don't care about myself enough to get one. Is it because you're on an SSRI that makes your vagina numb? I mean, I'm on, I don't even know what medications I'm on. That's why I can't do it. I literally don't even know what they're called.

Starting point is 00:16:33 Well, yeah, because I was on Lexapro for a while. Me too. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm a little nummy. Yeah, no, I just, I need one that's strong, like that can build like a home. I need, yeah. Well, I'm one that's strong, like that can build like a home. I need, yeah. Well, I'm off of it now and I'm like,

Starting point is 00:16:47 why did I get off Alexa Pro? The world is a dark. Oh, I can't. I'm like, when I'm in a lot of... You might see this bit, well, this is sick. You know, they're retelling like, well, the world's so crazy, it's so bad. But this is after 20 minutes of talking about horrible life is

Starting point is 00:17:02 and how they're broken people. Non-stop with very little humor going on at all. The hardest working gildo in Hollywood. Jesus Christ, could you imagine? If I does take batteries, it's just like, no, that's not going to work. We got to plug it into the wall. It's got one of those Tesla chargers. The garage yesterday.

Starting point is 00:17:19 I got to steam powered. Okay. So let me just play some examples real quick of them talking about how hard this to be them. They can play in about shit that like they make their own problems. They're these types of people. They're the type of woman everyone is afraid to marry because what women do, if you marry them, you know, not my wife obviously, but all the rest of them. They can't wait to change. If you giant pays in the asses. And he's going to have no exception. Do you hold your pee?

Starting point is 00:17:47 Of course I do. So I hold my pee, I hold my shit, I wait until I'm starving. I torture myself because I feel like I don't deserve anything. I don't do anything to you. You know what I recently started doing about two years ago? Drawing myself off after I get out of the shower. Fully. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:18:04 I used to just kind of, enough. That's Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr.

Starting point is 00:18:12 Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr.

Starting point is 00:18:20 Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. for they got married, is that what? No, I'm sorry, I said it out that way. It's just insufferable. I guess is my point. And it kind of reminds me of an unfunny version of this classic skit.

Starting point is 00:18:32 At a day, you know, I was down in my workshop, you know, just lying in my workbench, you know? Yeah. You know what advice I got? The big one? Yeah. I put my Adam's apple in it, you know? I just start tightening it up, you know? Tighten it up, tighten in it, you know? I just start tightening it up, you know?

Starting point is 00:18:45 Tighten it up, tighten it up, you know? After about 20 minutes, I hit this really loud pop, you know? Yeah, sounded like a... When you step on those empty beer cans at the ballpark? Yeah, yeah. Oh, but it's like very painful, I hate when I do that. Tell me about it. The other day, you know, I have finished waxing my legs, you know.

Starting point is 00:19:05 I was just sitting around having a crawler just relaxing, you know. And I took the dipstick from your car. Yeah. And I shoved it in my ear, you know. I just kept feeding it in there and feeding it. And I don't know after all, I must have hit like a brick wall in there,

Starting point is 00:19:24 some of that end to something I couldn't get it they're almost to hit like a brick wall in there somewhere dead end to something. I couldn't get it no further. So I took a sledgehammer. Yeah. What's it right in there? And I think popped up out of top of my head, but this high, I look like the... Living unicorn at the Ringling Brothers Club.

Starting point is 00:19:37 Oh, Christopher Gast, he was fantastic. So they were like complaining about shit for no reason, and then we try to figure out, all right, why are you grown women, grown adults, complaining about shit that you could easily remedy? Yeah, what's going on with us? Why are we doing this? Because I wasn't taught to take care of myself.

Starting point is 00:20:01 I really wasn't. My hair was always in knots when I was a kid. I wasn't taught to do. I know one was there to be like, brush your teeth. I mean, no, I'm not. Go ahead. Jessica's 54 years old next week. Chrissy to be is 47. Grow up. Yeah. Like, well, why are we such racks in life? Well, because my mom didn't tell me when I was nine. Like, well, okay, well, that's a long time ago. So you had to have a hair. Why are you holding in your pee?

Starting point is 00:20:27 Like that, that, too. But it's just like, they're saying this woe is me when they create their own problems. I gotta say, not a good ad for medication. Well, I'm on all this medication. I don't know if I can get it yet. I don't want that medication, that sounds terrible. I remember her, when Chip Chipperson

Starting point is 00:20:46 did that tournament of comedy, thank you remember that. I do. And she was on there. Tim Dillon was on that, right? I don't remember every time. I know Gilbert was on it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:20:56 Just people phoning it in, Michael Rappaport was on it too. But I just, that's why when I was describing her in the beginning, that's what I know of her from that. Okay. And she made it further than Chip, which after Chip got eliminated, I just gave up. Well, her thing with the podcast are reviewed. Well, she does all these characters

Starting point is 00:21:16 and these little skits and things, and none of them funny, none of them land. I guess it's not for me, I don't know. Yeah. But apparently her stand-up is just incredible, which I have some examples We're gonna do so bartending at the club when she came through that it was the quietest I ever fucking I had to peek into make sure a show is still going on Honestly, anyone else's SSR eyes it here. I you guys want to talk about that hard and not right my right people

Starting point is 00:21:44 Real difficult to not, right? Am I right, people? Real difficult to not. Yeah, great conversation. Good stuff. All right, let's lighten the mood here. I think I'm dragging everyone down with SNL bitch from 83 and all this depressing time. The golden age of SNL.

Starting point is 00:21:58 Yeah, who doesn't love that cast? All right, moving on. Lucy, what else did you pick up on from this wonderful upset you checked out? Oh, boy. So I had to listen to a whole bunch. We all had to listen to a whole bunch of crap of them just talking about nothing. Yeah, yeah, don't make this about you. We're all the victim here.

Starting point is 00:22:20 So Christina is going to tell us a little bit about what her dating profile would be like if she was dating because obviously she's married to Tom. But she's struggling to find out what exactly which hobbies she would put down as having. So we are going to listen to Clips X. I'm still not sure I have interests. Do you know what I mean? Like if someone were to be like, what's your interest? I'm like, oh, the laughing from the control room. Fuck, my episode was so bad and you're that once. Oh, because they have different producers. Okay, I kind of picked up on that in the comments. Oh, I'm also pretty sure that the three guys that are in the control room are all trying

Starting point is 00:22:59 to bang Chesodonel. Okay, so I think that they're really, they're hamming it up. Okay. I'm still not sure I have interests. Do you know what I mean? Like if someone were to be like, what's your interest? I'm like, you know, fart jokes. I like videos of inappropriate stuff.

Starting point is 00:23:17 It's almost your career, not your hobby. Well, that's the, I made my hobby. My career, my hobby was, I like weird stuff. It's not a hobby. It's not a hobby It's not a hobby. Also, I fucking hate it when people are like, oh, I'm not like the other girls. I like fart jokes Right. I'm so funny and I'm so cool. Yeah, I'm one of the guys and everything that I'm doing is really neat And you should care about that also who gives a fuck about your dating profile? You've been married since like 2008. You're also a boring person,

Starting point is 00:23:48 if you don't know what you're interested in. And I get it, it's stick. And that laughter from the control room, it's gotta be the same people on all these shows, right? Two bears, one cave, and all these, you know, your mom's house, it's all the same people, I can also do the same.

Starting point is 00:24:01 Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. And you're laughing at the setup. It's not even a punch line. Right. I know where this is going. Ha, ha, ha the same, ha ha ha ha. And you're laughing at the setup. It's not even a punchline. Right. I know where this is going. No interest. Yeah. And then there's not even really a punchline.

Starting point is 00:24:10 I better she is boring. Okay. Cool. Good stuff. Yeah. So in clip seven, we're going to hear Christina continuing to tell us about how she would get a guy because she's kind of trying to coach chase

Starting point is 00:24:24 because chase is having trouble in the love life. I hear a lot of successful women say this, especially female comics that are single that I'm friends with that are older, not you. Obviously. Her successful women in business, I've heard them say things like, men are just intimidated by me. Men are just intimidated by me. And I'm like, I don't know if I buy this.

Starting point is 00:24:44 Yeah. I don't know if I buy this. Yeah. I don't know if I buy that. What I think it is is sometimes you need to make yourself more approachable because yeah, maybe you are a performer, maybe you are in the public, whatever. But there's a way to talk to somebody to make them feel, like they're the only person in the world

Starting point is 00:25:04 and that you're relatable. First of all, nobody cares what she has to say. It's the most boring sentence of all sentences. And then to leave the burp in mid-sentence. Well, she said it was the joke, and she placed it there purpose. Yeah, all the time. The only thing that was remotely entertaining. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:25:23 Which again, she's so unprofessional. Yeah, she just continues to do the burps all throughout this episode. I decided to not make you suffer through all of them, but there were more. You know, guys are more than just burping and farting. We also know key stats of our favorite players in the NFL. All right, ladies, so you got to keep up with more than just burping and farting. I'm pretty sad I did not pull a clip of Chase. Her father had told her all of these statistics so that she could recite them to men and she actually

Starting point is 00:25:53 recites things that her father told her and they were pretty funny. No shit. Yeah and I regret not pulling that clip. Like how many touchdowns Randy Moss had in 2019? No, but equally as stupid. Okay, lock it up with that. I wasn't stupid. 16 or three. 16 or three. That's the difference between men and men. Yes.

Starting point is 00:26:11 I agree. Andy, please show me where the show is entertaining or father interesting. I'll try. No promises. Christina is going to ask Rachel if she's dyslexic in addition to having ADHD in three. Thank you. Three, two. Oh, young. And are you dyslexic too? No, I'm not dyslexic. I just have ADHD. Yeah. Yeah. Because sometimes those go hand in hand and dyslexia with ADHD and learning disabilities. Did you have anything else? They're called learning differences now. Ha ha ha ha. You're not retarded.

Starting point is 00:26:46 You just learned differently. Yeah, you're fucking retarded, but it's cool to be retarded. Because those dyslexic kids, they got other skills, you know? It's cool now. Yeah. You know what, it is cool to shit your pants because you don't feel like not playing Call of Duty. I just have to play Call of Duty till I shit myself.

Starting point is 00:27:04 There's different levels. I'm going to have the spectrum. I'm going to be turning on the chew bag. Yeah. All right. And some advice for Christina, if you're going to just make shit up, don't expect other people to know what you're talking about.

Starting point is 00:27:20 Good for. But I'm leaning off of Lexa Pro, and I'm getting like brain pops. More fucking likes to wrap it. Do you have that? Did you ever have that? Brain pops and what does that sound? What is the brain zaps? It's like this thing where you're like, like you feel like that, like your brain goes, well, that's what happened to me when you played the teaser last week. I gotta review this shit. Speaking of which, did you guys see what happened to Merch this week? No, just

Starting point is 00:27:46 I don't know if it's last night, the night before Merch is on his night wave show and he takes a hit, a dab and he blacked out for a second. If I went to his microphone, he's going, oh shit, what just happened? He just lost consciousness. This is green for half. That was a brain pop. That was like a full second. Oh my God. That happened. So that's always fun. All right. Let's talk about therapy since we're talking about

Starting point is 00:28:13 lexipro, we're talking about mental health, and they get into a lot of discussion about what their therapist think and the conversation they're having with their therapist. I should have had an eating disorder is what my therapist says. I did. Yeah. Your therapist told you you should have had their therapist. I should have had an eating disorder is what my therapist says. I did, yeah. Your therapist told you you should have had eating disorder, you should have?

Starting point is 00:28:29 I don't think she's a great listener. You know you should have had, is an eating disorder, damn it. I had a time machine. Instead I had depression, I had to eat. I really fucked it up tonight. All the makings of eating disorder. All right, I have a question for you, Lucy, type back.

Starting point is 00:28:44 So I wanna know if you've ever done this. Did you ever eat something and then spit it out? What do you mean? Like you eat it, you taste it, and then you spit it out. No, I swallow everything. Okay, very good. You know that. Very good, Lucy.

Starting point is 00:28:56 Just wanted to ask real quick. All right, now we already set it up that Jessica is the funniest human being on the planet. But it turns out the second funniest person on the planet is Christina P. Oh boy. So we're in for a treat here. I mean, you've always made me feel good,

Starting point is 00:29:12 because you're so... I try. But I know, you know why I love it too? You're like me. I know you don't say it to a lot of people. Like I don't find hardly anyone funny. First of all, you've always been in inspiration to me, because you kill and you're so funny. And there's not a ton of, I mean, well, I think you and I are

Starting point is 00:29:30 not to chew their own horns, but we are in a rare, rarefied thing. Right. There are the only two funny people in the world. And what I like about your comedy is it's so bad. It makes me feel better about that. If you're reading between the lines, that's everything sad. So she had set it up earlier in the show and she goes, you know, Jessica took you a long time to pop, but now that you're on TikTok, everyone knows who you are. You're crushing on TikTok, which if I know anything about TikTok, 50 somethings killing it. Totally understand the platform, the format, doing really good.

Starting point is 00:30:02 And what Jessica does is something that no other comic is doing, posting their crowd work. I mean, guys, when I go to a comic hop, I hope there's a lot of crowd work. Here we go. With Pick Out The Person in the Front, this is gonna be good. Are you guys a couple? That's your brother?

Starting point is 00:30:21 Well, I mean, if we were somewhere else, that would, I like your tattoos They're hot you have a really nice thigh tattoo. What is I love tattoos on women? It's really it's nice. What is that on your thigh? A pistol holy shit Are you carrying one tonight? Can you pay? No, you're not, but you shoot You're in the army well, give her a hand What I love you too The fuck was that was a conversation

Starting point is 00:30:58 What do you learn there t-shirt? What's that say? I love it. It's that's Piazza. Yeah He sure what's that say I love it. It's just Piazza. Yeah. I'm trying to point to. I love it so much. Next year's the first year. So yeah, so that, Crodwork was, are you too married,

Starting point is 00:31:11 our brother and sister, she does nothing with that. Perfect opportunity for a 17 jokes, nothing. If you have that, if you're entering Jan, we go, you're fucking right. That's the joke. Are you there?

Starting point is 00:31:21 Well, and then she goes, oh, you got a tattoo. What is it? It's a pistol. Wow. But I forget shit. All right, let's see another fine example of her amazing crowdwork, shall we? I love these guys right here.

Starting point is 00:31:36 You guys are all friends, right? No? As of tonight. Cool. You look like you work out a lot. A little? No, you work out a lot. I'll kick your f***ing ass. What?

Starting point is 00:31:49 Doesn't even make sense. Isn't she big enough of a name where someone should be talking her out of posting crowd work? You would think so. Yeah. So, this is what people do on TikTok now for some reason. I don't get it because it's not funny. She's not coming up with woody retorts. So it doesn't make sense that she would highlight this as what she does. It's brave. I'll give her that.

Starting point is 00:32:08 Are you guys all friends? No, we're not. Okay. They do that because you're doing a poster material. I know. I got it. But it's still not impressive in any way. The other thing you can do, you can go through old material, post the stuff you don't do anymore, and build up your name with that. Classic. Just cereal. Just a possibility. OK, let's see where she goes.

Starting point is 00:32:28 Let's see where she goes with this. How many burpees can you do? I don't even know what a burpee is. I love that I just asked you that. You work out a lot. You're the only one. Yeah, you do very good shape. What do you do?

Starting point is 00:32:42 You live in your personal trainer or something. You're an accountant. Well, that's an interesting job. Well, she's making a face. I know. It sucks. And what do you do, sir? You're a college professor.

Starting point is 00:32:58 Oh, wow. Wow. What do you teach? Classical music. Wow. What a nerd. That's crazy. That's nice. I like that. I like classical music. Wow, what a nerd. That's crazy. That's nice.

Starting point is 00:33:06 I like that. I like classical music. I listen to it when I'm in a deep depression. It helps. I'm serious. It's real. I've been listening to it every day for the past 19 years. It's very helpful.

Starting point is 00:33:20 Get it? She's depressed. I feel like I'm watching Rosio Donald. It's very similar. You're right. I feel like I'm watching Rosie O'Donnell. Very similar. You're right. I'm getting a lot of Rosie vibes from this. I don't see you guys laughing. Let me find another one of these crowd-worked videos. See if you can get into one of these. You notice how I would be embarrassed if that was my interaction with an audience member. Oh, you look like you work out. I

Starting point is 00:33:42 don't. Yeah, but you're in shape. What do you personal trainer? I'm gonna count. Oh, you look like you work out. I don't. Yeah, but you're in shape. What do you have personal trainer? I'm going to count. Oh, okay. What about you? What the fuck was that? There's no jokes at all. Interact. We're just going to go around the room if that's okay.

Starting point is 00:33:53 Exactly. My show. Everybody say your name and what you do. Hi. She might as well just be like, well, I have a joke for an acrobat. I would hear an acrobat. No, I didn't. Okay.

Starting point is 00:34:04 She keeps repeating what the audience member says trying to buy time and she still doesn't have a joke every buying time. Do you notice the wow? Wow. Yeah. I'll call it Professor Wow. How about you? Yeah, someone's gonna be a call for a professor. They don't know me come to your show, but still. Hey, did you just pay? What happened? You did number one. You went number one. You wouldn't tell me if it was number two. It was number two one. Okay. You should and sir. What do you do? I love it. Oh my god That is the most hack thing someone comes back from the bathroom. When where were you? Yeah, I had to go to the bathroom You know, they're serving drinks and shit here. It's pretty normal. I was hoping to skip the crowd work

Starting point is 00:34:43 But yeah, you're right. I was actually waiting outside for you to start your act again. Should have done another shot. Just never happened. Hope it comes out okay. What, you don't hold your pee until it's uncomfortable? I don't.

Starting point is 00:34:55 I thought that's what we learned. I guess my parents loved me. I don't know what to tell you. Mine, Bogglin. I think you got dressed up for the show. You have shorts on. You have nice legs. All right, so.

Starting point is 00:35:11 Your wife is dying. You guys are married, right? You're not. What is not? Oh boy. Guys, if you're just listening to this, it's hilarious. You're making faces.

Starting point is 00:35:25 What? Is anyone celebrating anything? How long have you guys been dating? Six years. So you're not gonna get married, you don't think? Oh, are you gonna, what the fuck is wrong with you? It's been six years. Don't you wanna be depressed every day? I mean, why aren't you proposing?

Starting point is 00:35:49 Get it? You have commitment issues? It's okay, you'll never see these people again. Have you ever been married before? Oh, that's why. Okay, you've been married before, I understand. Yeah, it's okay. Where'd you guys meet? Tinder. Oh, did you fuck on the first date?

Starting point is 00:36:10 The second date? All right good for you She's it's literally like the Matt wife stuff That blind Mike's always playing we play on who are these socials where Matt wife's constantly doing crowd work He's just repeating what the person said. And the person, the audience is getting the reaction. Right. You fucking the first date and the second date. The second date?

Starting point is 00:36:29 Yeah, it's what they said. Good one. Hey, what about you? Do you want to come up here and hold this microphone for me? I'm just gonna go get a bite. Yeah, right. You just tell everybody what you do for a living. That's my act.

Starting point is 00:36:40 Yeah, just text me when you're done. I got to pick up the check from the club where that's over with Stuttering John would think this was gold if starting Jack could pull this off. Yeah, yeah, this level of crowd work Repeating what the person said to him. He can't even do that. This Jessica's really good Showed up for the show Holy shit was a college professor Let me play one more clip on here.

Starting point is 00:37:05 And then we'll move on because this is so depressing. So you're seeing what her act is. You know, Christina and her think of the greatest comics they explain. There was why they're so good. It's because of all the trauma they've gone through. You have to, oh, and it's so retarded too. Christina, and it's pretty well documented

Starting point is 00:37:23 that her and Tom are very wealthy and Tom has lost touch with the middle class and he's just like oh you guys got a sitting coach fuck that nonsense fucking get a real job and you know fly private like I do what's your problem so Christina is talking about how being a comic and and moving up to the ranks like these two have you have to stay in motel rooms they're like I mean people like these two have you have to stay in Motel rooms They're like I mean people don't even realize you got to stay in hotel rooms and motel rooms like no I realize I've we've all done that yeah, we've all stayed in shitty motel rooms. Are you serious with me right now? You think that's what was so difficult?

Starting point is 00:37:57 So this is what they're doing to to work through these issues Have you ever hit a pillow with a bat or like oh, I've done that shit But I just did it. I went away like two months ago for a week to do trauma work. I like heart. Yeah. Where do you go? I want to go. It's amazing. You have to go. I want to check myself in somewhere. You need to go. It's five days. I went to Arizona and it changed my life for like a week. Now I'm horrific again. But it's amazing. No, I'm going gonna give you the information. I asked my shrink, it was incredible.

Starting point is 00:38:27 It was incredible. No, it was incredible. It was incredible. Jesus, I wanna get my shrink to refer me to a place I can cry for a week. You don't need a shrink for that. It's just coming to my place. Jesus.

Starting point is 00:38:38 Jesus Christ. She's like, oh no, I went to this place where you just scream out and get aggressive and things It was great. I mean, I'm still traumatized and nothing's going well in my life But oh you went to snake oil camp did you yeah, yeah, you don't even think it's it's super expensive Yeah, I know you can't Coincidence one of the shit I just watched the bills game and

Starting point is 00:39:01 Get my trauma back you fucking officiating this year. I swear to Christ, you gotta get legalized gambling. He's gotta go. You never thought I would say that. Let's get back to fucking, hey, and on your ground, Bob, you're in there. This is fucking ridiculous. What's going on in the NFL?

Starting point is 00:39:16 I was chatting with, oh fuck, it doesn't even fucking make it. I was chatting with Gino Piscanti. He was on his show watching the Chargers game. Can you see why you didn't want to say that I'm out there chate with like the NFL's fucking rig. Do you even give this shit anymore? He was trying to explain that I was wrong about that. So I'm gonna go on a show and prove it And if one of his NFL episodes and taught you about some of these calls I've been seeing this year in the NFL

Starting point is 00:39:42 That's my cope or calls not being made. Yeah, some of that too. Notice Lucy, anything that was fun that you enjoyed in this podcast that you checked out? Did you enjoy things? No. Yeah, no, I don't expect you to either. I did really, really hate this one part where Christina is talking about a featured segment that happens, I think, on every episode called the Pudzinski Effect,

Starting point is 00:40:05 I can't say her last name. I don't care about it. You know what I even tried, so I was close. The P Effect, we'll call it, which this is a term that she has coined, and it is when you realize that you are doing something stupid, but you have done it for your entire life, and then you realize that you could be doing it a better way. Okay. So in this clip we are going to hear a voicemail from somebody from a listener to the show

Starting point is 00:40:31 explaining that she only owned one pair of dirty leggings which was causing her a problem. So that's going to be clip 10. I would often wear living because I only had so many. And I started getting yeast infections and I had no idea why. So I put yogurt in my couch actually, trying to solve that. When I realized I could just buy more leggings. Wow, see.

Starting point is 00:41:01 Yeah, that's a classic Pajitski effect. Classic, really. Yeah, I could own more again,itsky effect classic really yeah, I can own more than one buy more than one thing. All right, pants have never given me a yeast infections. I gotta ask you this question. Can you just wash the pants? Yeah, I mean, that's like not a thing that happens. Why are you putting yogurt in your fucking vagina? I mean, that sounds fun, but everything other than that sounded

Starting point is 00:41:21 horrific to me. I was making yoga. Very younger. That would make more sense. I just don't understand. Why they're like, oh yeah, that's the perfect example of the Pajinsky effect. Perfect example. That's the perfect example. Is this girl was wearing dirty pants?

Starting point is 00:41:40 So they were so disgusting that it caused her to shine at every knee you're on. The underwear every point. Here's a fun story. The underwear I'm wearing gave me a UTI. Cool. Yeah. Every week. Gross. This is that fun.

Starting point is 00:41:55 Do you want some yogurt or? Yes. Okay. If you don't mind and if you could apply it also. All right. I appreciate it. What else is worth playing from your clips over there, Andy? A clip five and six. Rachel says that because of Meds that she took,

Starting point is 00:42:14 she has a gap in her memory. I don't know, whatever side effects of some like subro probably. Yeah, everything is fucking meds. Yeah. But so she doesn't remember in instance when she was a kid of like breaking her own goals furniture and uh, Christina, she asked Christina if she ever had that same kind of reaction to her meds. Okay. And Christina says

Starting point is 00:42:39 this and clip five. Yeah. You ever have people tell you about something you did when you were younger and you're like, oh, I absolutely do not remember that. No, because nobody, nobody, my parents, you're both losers. But then she says this and clip six, okay. Could you not remind me of how shitty I was? My dad would always remind me of, I was like 13 and we went to Budapest and he's like, do you remember that time we went to the fancy restaurant and you dropped your ice cream? And it made a big sound because it was in this beautiful glass and I dropped it and he was like, we were so impetuous!

Starting point is 00:43:16 And she is, she is so sussed out! Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're not so much fucking Alexa Pr, she doesn't even know what show she's on right now. Well, she doesn't know where her guest is. It's funny because I didn't clip it, but in the episode they were talking about how their childhoods were so traumatic that they don't remember anything from it. And so they have to go to therapy in order to piece those memories back together. I'm like, that's a terrible way to go. Oh, yeah, that's horrible.

Starting point is 00:43:41 That's where it's fun being a therapist. He's just making up. Yeah, right. He just planted the seed. You, that's horrible. That's where it's fun being a therapist. You just make it up. Yeah, right. You just plant the seed. You were obviously molested. Yeah. Like this. molested molested. I'm good at this job.

Starting point is 00:43:56 Does this feel familiar? One more in clip nine. I thought this was kind of a trend that maybe you have to take over to Micah on WATS, Carl. Okay. There's this trend, which I've noticed on TikTok, is that you have to be doing an obscure activity while telling people facts now. Either you're putting on your makeup,

Starting point is 00:44:19 which I tried doing one of these videos, actually quite difficult to do your makeup well and convey information. And then the swingers, they love to talk with their hands. So this assholes like, oh, then I'm a swinger. And then I took the pineapple club. And now this broad is making an omelette. There's a, there's a whole TikTok thing where girls will put on makeup to your standup

Starting point is 00:44:38 joke. All right. Right. And that will go even more viral than your joke. And you have this bitch in perfect makeup telling your OJ Simpson joke. And she's getting booked at all the big clubs now. Hater.

Starting point is 00:44:54 Hater. Is that a trend you've noticed, and who are these socials, girl? It's that. Is that half of all the time on TikTok? I do know about the woman who reads true crime stories that applies makeup. It's on the wheel of consequences for us on the creep off

Starting point is 00:45:07 But now I have not picked up on this. I'm gonna try and go viral telling everybody about termisedicins inventions while I change my oil Fuck they're talking about Well good luck to you. We'll promote it here on this show. I'd promise you that All right, let's get back into mental illness, guys. I knew you were thinking it. You're like, oh, I want to hear more about mental illness and we say get it. God, we're so mentally ill.

Starting point is 00:45:36 You know what's cool with you? This is the most depressing conversation. I love it, but I love when you meet a mirror and you're like, oh my God, I think so many people listening to this Relate to this and watch. I mean there's ever no one's okay. I mean, but he's okay people are But I don't think here's a deal man is that I think you're either aware of your shadow stuff or you're not and the people that are Okay, just haven't fucking had a minute to be like oh, oh, oh

Starting point is 00:46:03 So fucking had a minute to be like, oh, oh, oh. So everyone's mentally ill, but some people suppress it and don't dwell on it. And she thinks they're the ones who are doing it, run? It's hard to tell. She talks in such vague terms. Right. But she literally is saying, why go to a therapist and tell me how horrible I am and how fucked up I am.

Starting point is 00:46:19 Like, well, maybe you should get that out of your time and budget, because it's not helping you at all. You guys seem to be just mentally ill assholes who hate your lives. And you're like, yeah, maybe you should get that out of your time and budget, because it's not helping you at all. You guys seem to be just mentally ill assholes who hate your lives. And you're like, yeah, but no, everyone has this trauma, so people just don't recognize it. Yeah, I'm one of those people who doesn't recognize it, and things are going, wow.

Starting point is 00:46:34 Yeah. So I'm gonna go ahead and recommend that to everyone. I just keep my shit together. Because Jessica says this, and I guess they're in this place in life, and they're not gonna learn. They're too old to figure this out. But they're in this place in life and they're not going to learn. They're too old to figure this out, but they're in this place where even though they're living life horribly wrong in every single way, they think they're doing it right and everyone else is the asshole.

Starting point is 00:46:54 Well, you know what? The best revenge is a great life. I know. I know what I just said that was sickening. You know, you feel gross in the thing. Yeah, it's not true. It is true. It is true. It is true.

Starting point is 00:47:05 Rubbing your success into your enemies faces is amazing. I recommend it for everyone, just not my enemies. Fuck those assholes. She actually finally said something that I agreed with, and she goes, I'm sorry, I said that. I don't agree with that at all. It leads me to believe that there are well-adjusted people pretending to be these assholes. It could be Stick.

Starting point is 00:47:25 Yeah, which makes them huge assholes. Right, because if it is Stick, then they just do it the whole time and it's not fun or entertaining. So I don't get that aspect down. Because I was trying to figure that out myself. I'm like, these two are pretty successful in life. Are they just pretending to have things

Starting point is 00:47:40 be this miserable for them? And by the end, I'm now, they're this miserable because they wouldn't have talked about it for an hour straight. You know, you and I can only pretend we're talking about a subject for so long that we go, okay, let's move on. A minute. Yeah, what are we doing? Anything else you guys want to hit before we move on with our lives?

Starting point is 00:47:58 I will happily show you the end of the episode that I watched, which is going to be just a really great ending to a show. It's gonna be clip 11. Great. All right, we're wrapping up. I wanna close on this cat video that my kids and I have just been L-O-L-ing at forever. It's so silly and it's just been in my head all week.

Starting point is 00:48:20 So I thought I would share it with you guys. Say hello, say hello, say hello, say hello, say hello, for all weeks, so I thought I would share it with you guys. There's that one. There's that one. There's that one. There's that one. There's that one. There's that one. There's that one. There's that one.

Starting point is 00:48:34 There's that one. There's that one. There's that one. There's that one. Oh my God. There's that one. There's that one. Oh my God.

Starting point is 00:48:42 There's that one. There's that one. Oh my God. There's that one. There's that one. There's that one. There's that one. I've heard cats make those noises all the time, right? A million times? Yeah, so that's a... I thought there was actually gonna be a good cat video to sound. A funny cat video to sound. So, I mean, you have to eat a lot of them. Yeah, I know. I can show cat videos all day long.

Starting point is 00:48:54 Can you imagine? Can you imagine that there's so many good cat videos in there? Yeah. And that's the one that her and her kids have been LOLing at. Yeah. Like... What about the one that gets caught up in the ceiling fat, like, flipping around like, that's what you get L.O.L. at.

Starting point is 00:49:08 A cat on a skateboard? Yeah. Cats not even on a skateboard. Get out of here with these shit. Right. It's literally the dumbest cat clip on the internet. And that was how she closed this episode. Christina P. If you lost touch,

Starting point is 00:49:18 is it possible that you've lost touch, Christina P? It's the meds. She just heard that mental illness and CAD videos are popular these days. Yeah. That's something in the control booth was laughing uncontrollably. Of course.

Starting point is 00:49:33 Of course. She decided it was the greatest thing ever. At the end of this also, they all the guys in the control booth go, what happened in the video? Exactly like what we all did. Even they, it was all like, it was in. It worked to it. That's the long and short of it. That's the video. Even if it was all like, it was hard to it.

Starting point is 00:49:45 That's the long and short of it. That's the video. They played a second time, which I again did not want to make you suffer through. Thank you. Then the guys in the booth laughed. Because it was fully so late. So late.

Starting point is 00:49:56 Somehow I just don't get it. You know what I do get? Is Banana Bag, bananabag.org, is where you want to go to purchase this fantastic product that producer Chris has tried. I have tried multiple times. I have samples for you guys, Andy, and Lucy. I'll get you guys some banana bag.

Starting point is 00:50:18 This is a hydration system that was formulated by a pharmacist. It's the same ingredients they have in the bag, which they call banana bag. If you get checked into the hospital with dehydration, I know a guy that's happened to. Who is this mystery man? Yeah. If that happens to you, you get hooked up to an IV

Starting point is 00:50:39 and they need to rehydrate you very quickly. And so there's a lot of things they need to figure out with that B vitamins, electrolytes, glucose. And so that's all included in one of these packets. And you can see it here. One of these packets you put it into water, you mix it up, you shake it up, you stir it up, you drink it slowly. And it really does work. I have to say, what was your experience today? You tried to abandon a bag. Yes.

Starting point is 00:51:07 Carl handed me one last night at band practice. That's correct. And I got home, remember, you know, took it out of my pocket, remembered that I had him and I'm like, oh yeah. And I said, well, sounds like a wager to me. Yeah. See if I can tie one.

Starting point is 00:51:22 I had to bottle up to Kila later. I'm like, why was I doing that? Yeah, Roy, like you've never questioned yourself for taking too much. What about it? I found it on my desk and I'm like, oh, I can really use this. And I can attest to its validity. It works.

Starting point is 00:51:38 Nice. And I have to say, we found a very good match because it turns out our listeners also get sluggish and dehydrated a lot. The partnership is working very well and so we appreciate their continued support of who are these podcasts and Please support our sponsors available on banana bag.org. You can also buy it on Amazon But go to banana bag.org use the promo code whtp. 25% off your purchase and

Starting point is 00:52:04 Yes, I'll share that with the rest of the class. Thank you. Before, before you leave today, but you gotta put it to the test. Correct. It's gone. We gotta do it the right way. Doing it right now.

Starting point is 00:52:16 Good, yes. All right, so I introduced our new song, parody contest. And what we're doing is is I know it feels like Christmas is tomorrow it's not but it is coming up soon and so what we're doing is a holiday themed song parody contest Ben Hilton came in with one already that is fantastic and so this is our first submission to the holiday themed song parody contest. I'm trying my best to be polite. I know I could take him in a fire.

Starting point is 00:53:09 The show starts in a second. All I have to do is I don't know under this. In no time, we're down on the phone. We've been streaming for hours. This is the guy calling me a coward. Don't think I can take anymore. Excuse me while I open a core Wish I could lead

Starting point is 00:53:28 Attack in my family Just smile at us Stay away from your own safety The only thing left Why do you call me the dude? After everything I've done for you I don't get some. Let me tell you about the juice.

Starting point is 00:53:47 Pay else to you, want me to say. Get from Fancy Lady Canada. Go now. Oh, wait, hold on. I'll stay for just one more thing. That is fantastic. Ben Hilton, of course. Talking about what John Winnowla's rich old Jedi officeada, off his show because he had a show. Hold on

Starting point is 00:54:09 Phil Eatball does a few ball karate moves that I want you to comment on Dagelissar says so you got to heat up the banana bag stuff out of spoon right no No, no Not the way you do it. I've been home fantastic job. Yes, keep the sock buried. He's coming. That was great Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, And he says, well, this may be the end of my song parody career. Like Manny Muskets, calling dibs on Hannah before me, I decided to make a song for the Devil Vs favorite whole Lucy tight box. So I'm honored.

Starting point is 00:54:55 Yeah. This is from the band, the 1975 coming in with this. I see her online all the time. I'm trying not to spank off to her while she talks about her tight box. Girl are my dreams Hope she ain't married And something but a voice How she sounds like a guy gets me horny Where I saw the latest vid Look at those tits Shot a load in my pants

Starting point is 00:55:41 They're covered in stick I think I'm in love But there's one thing I'm wanting to ring Maybe I would like you better if you took off your clothes I'm not kidding but you're Lucy A few girls the way to go And she said there's no fucking way that I'm taking all the follow my crows

Starting point is 00:56:11 You'd say that's good Well the man can dream but it's too bad I'm ugly too bad I'm ugly as fuck Do you guys know the source with your material on that one. Fairly change any of the lyrics, which is kind of funny. Literally what the song is about and Chick-on-Lady wants to take her to take her clothes off. I love that. Yeah, Ted Shaker says, wait, we're allowed to simp on Lucy?

Starting point is 00:56:37 Allowed, encourage, encourage! Don't. What not made this clear? Eric Zane won't stop simpping for a Lucy type box. I'm kinda guy myself. I'm a kindly guy myself. I won't. Kindy, kindy, kindy.

Starting point is 00:56:50 Fucking candy, that goddamn name. No, what's a candy? It's not a thing. Stop it with that. What'd you think about your son? I loved it. It was beautiful. There you go, guys.

Starting point is 00:57:03 You got to take any actions from that. I'm blushing. That's an action. I have to take any actions from that. I'm blushing. That's an action. I'm not taking my clothes off immediately. I mean I have some time and I'm saying it doesn't start till 730 so. Metro links and cross links are reminding everyone to be careful as Eglinton Cross Town LRT train testing is in progress. Please be alert. as trains can pass at any time on the tracks. Remember to follow all traffic signals. Be careful along our tracks and only make left turns

Starting point is 00:57:34 where it's safe to do so. Be alert, be aware, and stay safe. What's behind a life electrified? What's lighting up our communities, powering more carbon-free commutes, and boosting home-grown innovations? It's electricity generated right here at home. From a newable hydro to nuclear, our lowest carbon energy source. Ontario Power Generation is shaping the clean energy future by investing in Ontario and electrify in life every day

Starting point is 00:58:08 See how at opg.com All right quick Suthering John up day he had card to find his show last night and It was such a weird episode because he swore off the potato when he was going off on Vinnie Paulino on his show on Sunday. And we're not doing a lot of stuff today. I'm sure everyone's aware I did an emergency episode on Monday last two and a half hours.

Starting point is 00:58:32 It wasn't expecting that. Turnouts would be an explosive episode. We had Julian, soon as he left, all of a sudden Vinnie shows up at my door, which was awesome. And so Vinnie came down here and finally let John have it, which was exciting. I was happy for him.

Starting point is 00:58:45 It seemed to get started. I was only watching the first half live, so I'll have to go back. Yeah, it gets, it gets very interesting. Nice. Vinnie really unloads on, John. So then Cardiff shows up on John's show and I'm wondering, oh, what's this all about? Now, Cardiff's supposed to be helping with the live show in Rochester on March 10th, but now John is saying he might get Vince the lawyer

Starting point is 00:59:06 to be a part of the show since Cardiff refuses to tell John what his full name is and what he looks like, just so bizarre. There's a couple funny moments in the episode, it's watching it last night, where Cardiff goes, John, I can't do that because you know, you tend to dox people, I don't wanna to be dox and John's retort was something like, I have a dox to everyone. Or I've only doxed a few people and they're just like, it's just dox anyone.

Starting point is 00:59:33 What are you talking about? Castle. I remember on the Gong show when the unknown comic took the paper bag off his head. Yeah. It went on to be the most popular comedian ever. It was Andy Kaufman, right? No, it doesn't work that well. Also, they brought up Patrick Melton, nobody likes onions. And Patrick Melton went after John's kids pretty viciously way more so John talked about

Starting point is 00:59:58 me calling them losers over and over again. Patti actually talks about them specifically, not just in broad like in this one, he was saying the word losers. He actually went after them hard and went after John and John, all of a sudden, he's like, I don't even know who Patrick Melton is or where to find his stuff. And all of a sudden, he's confused by all of this. He doesn't know how to figure that out. Like, okay, if you say so.

Starting point is 01:00:22 So I guess John, when he pokes a bear that will fight back, will run and hide. So that has been proven with John. So just a fun thing to know. Also, I want to give a quick Chad Zumak update. They had a roast battle on MLC yesterday, Radavito versus Chad Zumaq. And spoiler, if you haven't seen it, Red De Vito wins in a landslide vote. They had some judges on there, celebrity judges on there that weren't sure who won. Oh, it's hard to tell. But to start the show, Chad goes,

Starting point is 01:00:59 well, Ray, he's probably got all these people. He's gonna accuse me of having people right for me. And you know, I'm going to win and then Ray's going to say he was cheating. And then, of course, Ray wins and Chad accuses Ray of cheating and having people write for him immediately after he's so fucking predictable. So anyway, Chad's all upset about this. He's been tweeting out about how it was rigged, and it wasn't fair. It should have been a tie.

Starting point is 01:01:27 That's not so funny in the chat, I'm hoping for a tie. He's such a fucking loser. And I did get an update. So remember I had that post where Chad had entered an amateur comedy contest, funniest person in Florida, contested a bunch of amateurs. So apparently he did not win.

Starting point is 01:01:50 And he went last, and it seems he came in last place. He was not even close to winning this competition. And the two things you have to have, you've worked at the comedy club here, you know this works. When you're doing a local funniest person in blah, blah, blah contest,

Starting point is 01:02:04 you need two things. Jokes in front. So Chad is over two in that department. So I didn't have high hopes for him in this one. Oh, but I'm sure in Chad's own defense, he'd be saying, well, I didn't try just like his broadcasting. You know what? I don't know what his defense is for.

Starting point is 01:02:21 That's if somebody knows what he's saying for the reason why he didn't win this contest I'm sure it was rigged or the guy who one knew someone or knew the owner. I'm sure he's got they knew the audience I don't care. I don't give a fuck. I'm sure he doesn't care. All right, that's enough update to chance to my considering John Let's get into the main event here. Don't tell me you don't like my show Don't tell me you don't like my show Don't tell me main event here. Patrick Michael the last time we checked in with them he was doing a live stream I'm going home now. Because that's absurd. Patrick Michael, the last time we checked in with him, he was doing a live stream and his music wasn't working and no one could hear it.

Starting point is 01:03:12 And he quit on the spot. It's like, what am I even doing? Fuck this. I'm done with this. Took his ball, went home. We don't know what's happened to him since then. He was already home, but correct. He's always home.

Starting point is 01:03:24 So then it's bizarre because I get a note from Cardiff who just happened to hear, you know, he does that show called Don't Leave It To The Judges, the MMA show he does with his buddy over there. Right. And somehow they start talking about Stuttering John and me in the middle of this episode and Card just stumbled upon it

Starting point is 01:03:42 because no one listens to the show. So apparently he's kind of Put himself into our world a little bit Patrick Michael as all right enough about these guys. Yeah, man I'll turn on this now. They're talking about Kevin Brennan at this point I guess they were talking about Kevin Brennan Matthew Perry that whole controversy. All right enough about these guys Yeah, man. I'll turn on this now. I got turned this shit off. I got yes just a new New York man charge with sexual abuse of cows And he took and he put the photo shot the carls face in the picture He's doing this thing. I'm not mad at him. Oh, you know, he was bragging so much about the

Starting point is 01:04:21 Meme that he made of the the guy from the meme that he made of the guy from the group that punched him in a face, the misfits, fuck him anyway. All right, let's talk about some MMA. Interesting. So they're talking about the whole saga we have of the misfits, something that we talked about five years ago, four years ago. It wasn't it on a bonus episode. It was.

Starting point is 01:04:40 I did it at putting it out later on a normal episode. So maybe that's what they're talking about, but these guys are all ed. Yeah, we tend to not be here. I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I seems to come out of nowhere. I'm not even really sure what they're talking about. But you know, when Patti starts his show, he's already got all this stuff going on in his head. And he just starts ranting. And you have to wait for to figure out what exactly he's ranting about. Yeah, what he's upset about.

Starting point is 01:05:17 So you can keep that big mic energy over there, right? All these guys trying to be Logan Paul's big mic energy Over there, right? All these guys trying to be Logan Paul's big mic if Logan Paul was Carl You know what I mean, but then also Carl wants wants to be big mic to Anthony Cumia. I Don't know much about dick masters and other than he's a fucking slug He just immediately comes out and he's talking about Big Mike who's on Impulsive with Logan Paul and their buddies and he's like the, I don't know, co-host or sidekick if everyone call it.

Starting point is 01:05:53 He's the funny one. So then he's saying, all these other guys in the dabble verse are trying to do that for me but I'm doing that for Anthony and Dick Matches and the slug. So so far I was just like, okay, I heard my name so I'm'm listening, but I'm not really following

Starting point is 01:06:06 what's going on. And then what happens next took me by surprise. I brought on a special guest to join us today. Heck ride! Enjoying that day to be able. It was going on, everyone. Cool. Thank you for having me back.

Starting point is 01:06:21 Stop time. Great to see you, buddy. Thank you for joining us today. I didn't give you to see you, buddy. Thank you for joining us today. I didn't give you a ton of notice. I just heard Petty broken skull. Petty Seekups talking about you. And I went, why is he talking all this shit about heck, right? So I thought I'd bring you on to react

Starting point is 01:06:35 to some of these clips that I have. Oh, thank you so much for inviting me. I can reset you that torturous music contest. Ah! How dare you. Oh, that was terrible. Ah, you don't know the fuck you're talking about. Hello, Andy, and Chris, it is good to see you. Hello, Newsy. Nice tits. Thank you. Heck, right. New chavitar is very off-putting. What are you talking about? Well, it's new. It's not

Starting point is 01:06:58 what I'm used to. It's that. It's killing it. Unexpected. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Heck right figured out. Yes. Back to the little punk putting out his costume and doing like his eye makeup and everything. Yeah. This is too much. Got to be a lot easier. Yeah. It's going to fight a filter. I feel like doing black freeze today. Black freeze today. Not a black freeze day. Fair enough. All right. Let's check it out. What Patty was saying here. There's this new guy. Hackride. I don't know if you've seen this. He's really

Starting point is 01:07:29 getting after John. You know what I mean? Simply following the trends like a fucking lemming. I mean that's what they are. They're not fucking sheep anymore man. These people are lemmings. They just do exactly what they see everybody else do and think for some reason they're gonna do it better. You're copying. You're doing the same shit that people 10 times better than you are already doing. It's ugly, it's boring, it's uninteresting, it's unoriginal. Try harder, dude. Just because you came up with a cool name sitting on the shitter one day,

Starting point is 01:07:59 you decided, hey, we're gonna run this motherfucker into the ground for sure. Let's call this the hack ride. We go and we talk about hacks. Okay, so Let's talk about is that what you talk about Oh, lots of talk about already now I want to bring up and I don't know your whole backstory Hackrides I want to get into that but I was introduced to you from the blind mic project and you were more targeting Red to Vito than you were a Stuttering John If I'm not mistaken. I'm still he him. Oh God, I still he him. Nothing stays there All right, so what the fuck is he talking about here? He's saying that you have latched down to the Stuttering John thing

Starting point is 01:08:37 He'll ten times funnier than you are doing it and if you get a name on the shitter. What say you hackride? Oh, well call much like the Native Americans when first laying eyes on the white devil from Europe and their mysterious boomsticks The civil minded sometimes look at the advanced as magic Patty can't understand this He can't understand a Mozart can share Joe because he first have to understand what the fucking human it Mental illness was you see he can't get past the first layer mental illness was you see he can't get past the first layer right originality is a magic trick to patty I see because he's saying that you're like everybody else which I thought was a weird angle today

Starting point is 01:09:18 Yes well I hope so the people in follow you're pretty successful in buying houses in Florida Yeah I'm gonna follow them who's Duttering John? I heard he's gonna have a job. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, social media. Ackred has been around since the 90s. It was a college fraternity friend of mine. His nickname was Ackride, because he was high energy and just a weirdo. And then I used it as a musical name since like 2004. So yes, I just invented it, dummy. Okay, I'm glad we're going to the bottom of this, because he's gonna repeat a lot of these things

Starting point is 01:10:01 and really let you have it, but. I'm very capable, Carl. Yes. Did you listen to this episode, Dakrider? Yes. I'm sorry, notes. Okay, good. Were you surprised that Patty Broke and Skull

Starting point is 01:10:14 was talking shit about you? No. No, you guys are interaction. These people, here is why. It is like this. There are two kinds of people in creative and worlds. There are the planets and then there are the suns. The planets need energy. They need to get close to something hot. The suns we don't need you. I sit out here and burn like a motherfucker all day long.

Starting point is 01:10:37 And then these little planets they come up near me and I burn them away. So that is what it is. I don't need you. You need me. Is that how solar systems work? That's Burden planet. So yeah I'm a demon on a scientist I do have a real question though did did you go after Patrick Michael in any way that was prompt him? Yeah, what the fuck is this? I'm going after John because John's in it, and even more I'm going after Muttering J,

Starting point is 01:11:06 because that's John, and Muttering J is John, I'm gonna say here, it's John! I don't think it's been confirmed! I don't think it is, you think it's been confirmed, because Muttering J actually does research, photo shops, I don't think that's John.

Starting point is 01:11:19 Yes! Oh, I have a whole theory, and he's a rainman with the trolling. He's like, you remember that episode of South Park when the dad was like a master troll and knowing new That's John the one thing he knows how to do is an idiot subvert Except sometimes the idiot leaks into the survive and we catch him He's everyone Everyone the time and the support's John is John I'm getting close. I will be showing receipts. I'm afraid of this little might with no power.

Starting point is 01:11:44 No. Come on. I see the frame. No. But this is what I'm going to tell you. I tried this car. All right. We'll just have it. I had about a guess. I'm going to get it. I'm going to get it.

Starting point is 01:12:00 I'm going to get it. I'm going to get it. I'm going to get it. I'm going to tell you. No, I tried this. Oh, well, I just have it. I had about as a guest. This idea that centering Jackson, I thought this too for a little while, I was like, he can't be this dumb. He's got to be more than just what we see.

Starting point is 01:12:17 No, John is exactly what we see. He is specifically. Yes, that's what he wants you to think. What Amy Carter was talking about is alcoholism yesterday. It was one of the funniest things. We finally figured out what he wants you to think when Amy Carter talking about his alcoholism yesterday It was one of the funniest things we finally figured out what he tips I don't know if you saw this All right now you got me off on a stomach John thing but give me one second then You don't have to be making noise all the time

Starting point is 01:12:38 Hagrid it's okay so We were talking about John says he spends $50 at the pub every day and So we were talking about John says he spends $50 at the pub every day. And he goes, because they were doing it later, they went on at 630 Eastern time, rather than the regular, yeah, yeah, three. And John goes, well, this helps me to stay away from the pub. And Kurt, of course, well, you don't, you don't have to be podcasting and not go to the pub. John goes, I don't know, that's where my friends are.

Starting point is 01:13:01 I go there every day and spend $50. Because that seems like a lot because we know you don't understand I tip a lot though. So then he spells it out. There's more math get ready for this. The beers are six bucks. He'll have five beers. Okay. He goes I always tip $10.

Starting point is 01:13:16 Okay. And so credit goes, you've $10 per beer? He goes no, no, no, no. $10 at the end. So if I have five beers, it'll be 30 bucks. I'll tip 10 on top of that. And it'll become 40 bucks. So $2 a beer.

Starting point is 01:13:29 And then he was praising himself for being a great tip and I was like, let's say she got a standard to tip a couple bucks for a draft beer. Yeah, that's not generous. That's not generous at all. He was trying to pretend like he's the most generous guy. Yeah, it's not. No, worthy.

Starting point is 01:13:43 No, not at all. But he was trying to say something like a food. So he's trying to justify why he's taking bucks a day that he spends at the pub. I was there with a chick, I spent 120. So I averaged it all out. That's huge. It was so bizarre.

Starting point is 01:13:55 I gotta see Carl. I recently had a burger at Pickwick and it was worth it. I gotta say it was worth it. He wasn't there, but they told the bartender to say tell Johnson what is here for him? You know, that was not you, that crime. Don't even say that. Maybe it was maybe it was We'll never know. Oh someone just reminded me and the chat. That was the other thing when Cardiff goes well, you know, it's Fuck Cardiff is here. I should probably bring him on since we're talking about this real quick And then I gotta get back to Patrick my guard. I can't get back to Patrick my guard to this Cardiff is here. I should probably bring him on since we're talking about this real quick and then I gotta get back

Starting point is 01:14:26 I'm gonna get back to Patrick my god to this cardiff You guys are friends no the army of cowards Army of cowards Me and me and I'm using the same AI to generate each other so we're gonna be in the same way as I was in the same way as I was in the same way as I was in the same way as I was in the same way as I was in the same way as I was in the same way as I was in the same way as I was in the same way as I was in the same way as I was in the same way as I was in the same way as I was in the same way as I was in the same way as I was in the same way as I was in the same way as I was in the same way as I was in the same way as I was in the same way as I was in the same way as I was in the same way as I was in the same way as I was in the same way as I was in the same way as I was in the same way as I was in the same way as I was in the same way as I was in the same way as I was in the same way as I was in the same way as I was in the same way as I was in the same way as I was in the same way as I was in the same way as I was in the same way as I was in the same way as I was in the same way as I was in the same way as I was in the same way as I was in the same way as I was in the same way as I was in the same way as I was in the same way as I was in the same way as I was in the same way as I was in the same way as I was in the same way as I was in the same way as I was in the same way as I was in the same way as I was in the same way as I was in the same way as I was in the way as I was in the same way as I was in the same way as I was in the same way as I was in the same way as I was in the same way as I was in the same way as I was in the same way as I was in the same way as I was in the same way as Big Bird For the same puppets I have a delay on my voice card if I said delay on his comedy Cardiff brings up the John that is not necessarily John goes I'm not enough to go to the pub every day and Carter goes well It's that great. The go to the pub every day and jog goes what about cheers? I swear to God What about

Starting point is 01:15:26 Cheers from the You know in full-time jobs that makes sense he thinks cameras Cardiff goes he has to claim it has a real job though Cardiff's like norm probably shouldn't be the rehab Yes Clavin has a real job though. My God. Curtis, like Norm probably should have been a rehab. Yes. So Clavin could have just dressed up like a mailman and showed up at the bar.

Starting point is 01:15:51 That's something John would do. That's something John should do. Cardiff real quick while I have you here. And we'll bring you back for Ticatchin' Allian. But I just wanted to ask you, what is going on over this live show March 10th? Because, and you didn't press John on it and I understand why you didn't but John kept saying if this show happened I asked I asked him twice

Starting point is 01:16:10 Why he saying if yeah, no, I asked him he every time I brought up the March 10th show yesterday He blew past that he ignored it he would change the subject read a super chat He is Worry me, but he just announced on his show today. I think he's mad at me again. And I'm not showing fucking out. I don't think you know what? Just a double contour and just do it.

Starting point is 01:16:35 I don't think it's happening either, but I refuse to make a double conto. I'm not inviting people to Rochester and March for our show. I was bad at video when he booked John and Mark's like stop bringing people to Rochester and March for our show. I was bad at the video when he booked John and Mark's like stop bringing people to Rochester and March. God damn it. No one wants to be here in the winter. This is what I'm hoping was going to happen where it would fall apart soon enough to plan something better.

Starting point is 01:16:56 Well, I'm dead is what's going to happen. It seems like John's backing out. He's trying every angle he can to back out without being the guy who backs out. He's doing the whole sense of me straight out of Rochester. Yes. I almost almost think he was expecting me to really go after him yesterday to give him a reason to back out, but I did not give him a reason. I got close. So he thinks he's friends with Vince the lawyer again, which is shocking to me because Vince the lawyers turned out him so many fucking times. Not friends. He's he's hiring him for some type of lawsuit that's coming down the pike.

Starting point is 01:17:33 That's right. Yeah, I think Vinnie Paul Vita was going to be sued for every hogey he's got. So it's a lot of hogey. He's definitely nervous about it. All right, let's get back to Patty. Cardinal, we'll talk to you in a minute. Go on. Go on. Go on. All right. Let's get back to this weirdo with a Logan Paul finish. Yes, let's get back to that. So he's talking about he was complaining about these people

Starting point is 01:18:02 that he has to block. But then he goes into a conversation about how he also trolls people that have to block him it's so bizarre because i don't know if he even realize that he's the person he hates you know what i do i simply shut them off instead of constantly saying things to them like bloumohamid or uh... who's the other guy?

Starting point is 01:18:26 Cole be Coveington, Dylan Danes. You know, these are guys that I was attacking on Twitter at a kind of constant rate. Everything they posted, I had something to say about it. Eventually it eventually does get to a point where you're like, fuck this, I don't care enough. They don't care enough. I'm good.

Starting point is 01:18:42 All right, so Patrick Michael goes on and harasses people on Twitter to the point where he borrows himself. They don't even block them. They're just like, whatever. This fucking guy who cares. It would just be torturous not to be creative. I don't know what that word is like, but it's like a prison. I don't understand. I've been with you for you Patrick. He calls you off. We're not being creative quite a bit, which is interesting. So I'm clearly no creativity. Yeah, I know. So this is, um, this is him talking about how when people get blocked by guys like Chad

Starting point is 01:19:13 Zumaq, they feel like that's a victory for them. Even people that I follow or follow me love this thing. They love this idea of, well, I told Chad Zumaak he was a fat fucking mud shark. He blocked me. I win Yeah, but do you win? What do you win? So I do see people when they get blocked by John or Chad Zumaak They'll post that they're blocked But usually it's because they says something very tame and these pussies with their real thin skin just are on a blocking spree and it's like dude you talk so much shit over the internet

Starting point is 01:19:49 all these guys do and then someone says one thing to them like block block so I think that's what people are referring to when they post those things is there baby stuck Joe's he's a baby stuck Joe in the making yes and they always tell on themselves like I'm starting to think that old Adam West Batman thing was real. Where they dangle over the hot oil and tell you their entire plan before they do it. I thought that was just bullshit, but all these babies stuck Joe's and stuck Joe,

Starting point is 01:20:13 they tell you their plan. Why do you do that? Why do you do that? They can't help themselves. So this is something we don't hear very often. This is patty fired up. It's a little different when you got all these people that are that are claiming so and so as a hack but nobody knows who the fuck you are. Who the fuck

Starting point is 01:20:34 are you? Who are you to claim that somebody is a hack? You're no one. You are nobody. You are a zero. You literally are a a zero you have no your opinion means nothing you're just another guy okay you're just another guy doing the same shit shut the fuck up shut the fuck up that's really what needs to happen a lot of motherfuckers just need to shut the fuck up shut your stupid fucking little girl mouth shut up dude you're not and motherfucker, the only thing that I quoted to you to this guy on because I can't stand him, was him claiming to want to make a wager with Stuttering John on who gets mentioned on fucking the Howard Stern show as if anybody gives a fuck. You must be old as shit, dude. You're, I mean, it goes, it

Starting point is 01:21:22 goes so deep. This guy starts this channel called Hackride. He starts talking shit about specifically stuttering John, and then he's making a wager on whether or not him or stuttering John gets mentioned on Howard Stern. You must be ancient. You must be old as fuck. No, me. And I stick to that wager.

Starting point is 01:21:43 Oh, I'm juicing a windy up, baby baby windy. I she is so liquid up with hackride She's gonna walk into there and just spill it all over the place and I will win that band I will have to laugh at Sturgeon John, but I am old. I'm a gen exa Thing you need to learn about us gen exas patty see cup is that we don't care if you call us old We came from the coolest generation ever one that all of you motherfuckers is still trying to find and repeat Guess what can't do it. So yes, I'm from that. I saw Nirvana's a teenager You can't have that I saw Nirvana's a teenager too. Sorry. I guess

Starting point is 01:22:18 They just tried to repeat what we did you can't and I'm so sorry for that and by the way I don't know if you're going to play it But he says the magic words in here for magic words that erase everything he says he says or Come after Me yes, I do have that we're doing is bullshit or we go after him and it's great Yes, I think is going on a little little stucco baby stucco. We got a baby stucco. What do you think is going on with this little little statue? Baby statue, we got a baby statue. What's happening here is we haven't done about Patrick Michael.

Starting point is 01:22:50 He's now he's doing these live shows, no one's showing up, he's not getting a lot of attention. So he put out this episode, he does this, you know, every few months, a couple of times a year where he goes, you know, I don't care, I don't want to be part of this dabble verse, I don't give a shit and so we're like, yeah, we don't give a shit either. And he's like, oh come on guys, what the fuck, you don, I don't care. I don't want to be part of this dabble verse. I don't give a shit.

Starting point is 01:23:05 And so we're like, yeah, we don't give a shit either. And he's like, oh, come on, guys, what the fuck? You don't make fun of me. Don't forget about me. Yeah, don't be over here. We've seen the phases of Patty. Of course. The ebb and flow.

Starting point is 01:23:15 Yeah. So he is also being a lambing by bringing up Stucho over and over. Yeah. At least Stuttering John had the balls to enter the dabble verse and interact with the people that were his enemies. Patrick Michael, I can't see you doing that. He doesn't have the... We talked about all the time. He doesn't want to, but then in this episode he says... He wants to see a female you or else face to face face to face on the computer

Starting point is 01:23:47 He would be invited on every single show Yeah, I invited the Anthony Kumi a show for Christ sake. I know so many people who would love that opportunity He's just like pass. I don't see how you can say this shit on his show and Just pass on all of the opportunities that are put in front of him, only to the point that he just can't compete. Correct. And that arena. That's what it comes down to,

Starting point is 01:24:13 is that Patrick Michael wants to get all this money. He looks at our Patreon, he's like, oh, I want to be making all this money doing podcasts, and that looks like an amazing lifestyle, but he can't. Right. He can't hang,

Starting point is 01:24:23 he knows he can't hang. That's why he runs away scared, starts new channels all the time. I'm not gonna get to all these clips today because I do have to bow out early today. We'll play him on Saturday on this week on show. Because he has once again started another new channel. He's got another new idea for another new show.

Starting point is 01:24:40 I'm really happy about it. Oh yeah, he's all excited about it. It's a dude. He's on Broadway. Fucking channel. Jesus crazy, funny know it's a thousand people on one of his channels and he ran away scared again because he can't fucking hang What are you saying that grand? I listen to this free water was it work I just want to jump to the end and say that this is how he wraps it up. Let's have a silly goose time.

Starting point is 01:25:10 He says that he's just a guy who you should just check in with him and have a silly goose time after this rant. He should love me. So this is him going pretty hard at Hackride here. Now realistically, your show and everything about you is the hack ride. Does that make sense? You're the hacky ride, bitch. Everything you're doing is hack.

Starting point is 01:25:32 Nothing original about your shit whatsoever. What? Because you said you used the word hack and put it together with a roller coaster. Now all of a sudden we're supposed to take you seriously. Shut the fuck up and sit out. You're no one. Where's the hell with this fucking rollercoaster thing? I don't know, is that the elite one? It's a ride, yes.

Starting point is 01:25:48 Not what I'm thinking of, what I think of ride. Yeah, and we need it there. Well, this man has never had sex if set for the breeding of his children. He does not know what a ride is. He's never had good sex. I'll tell you that. I think there's a turkey baster involved

Starting point is 01:26:00 even when that happened. Yes. All right, so then he goes on and explains what he could be doing, but he's not going to do it. If I started just talking shit about Stuttering John on Twitter, you know, started social media accounts dedicated to being or pretending to be Carl, you know, there's like five or six different people that I could target and pretend to be them on social media to make fun of them somehow But at the same time I don't stoop to that level and I'm also not a 55 year old guy. I just think it's fucking gay

Starting point is 01:26:33 I think that shit's gay. It's the dumbest most boring fucking unoriginal just uncreative Corny shit dude Corny is fuck Like I'll talk shit to you. No fucking problem through my exact accounts I don't need to pretend to be somebody else. I don't you won't you turn off the comments You don't people DM you you run away if any account gets kind of popular He's lies making this up. He's just like I'm a tough guy. I'll fucking hang with anyone's like no you were invited to the dick show He's making this up. He's just like I'm a tough guy. I'm fucking hang with anyone's like no you were invited to the dick show

Starting point is 01:27:07 Something at noon and you said I can't do that You do anything extra. I will talk shit to you face to face on the computer V.A. Email on the phone. However you want to fucking do it hack it right is Exactly what it is He's not Putting a bunch of people onto a roller coaster to ride down this trip that takes you amongst all these hats, right? The hack, ironically, is the person that's taking you on the journey. In his mind, he's going to Cedar Point and there's a new roll of

Starting point is 01:27:37 course. I know. I just want to hack right away. I didn't know I would ride that. I'm going to let for a cry. It's something fun. And it's like willing walk of storytelling on the I can only catch much when he was saying, cause you put the tents right next to me, man, I guess I'm staring at him. So I name a couple times, but those tents, my God.

Starting point is 01:27:56 I either darted back and forth or I don't know. I'm just saying in a world of TikTok where cat videos and people falling out of their chairs is creating content. I don't know how you can look at what HackRide is doing. Like that's actual creativity. Creating content. The video's that he makes for Blind Mike Project.

Starting point is 01:28:16 Now forgive him for his appearance and who are these socials and his appearance today. He puts together amazing contents. That is well thought out. It's crazy shit But there's tons of animations. It's well written. There's AI voices Hickride does a crazy shit on the internet. The last guy to be calling out for not being created understand where where he's coming from He doesn't know where he's coming from. Yeah, he doesn't know. He has no idea what he's talking about I told you I told you to him. It's a magic trick

Starting point is 01:28:44 So he grabs his metaphoric spears and runs into the general to find an F-16. That's what's going on here. Yes, I think you're right about that. So, Patti obviously wants attention again. That's the whole point of this episode that he dropped. And free water is the only show people listen to. So he knew he had to go on free water, do this episode, ask for attention again, and I could have been a jerk and ignored it.

Starting point is 01:29:04 But listen, I like the- I like that- I like this business, I like this whole thing that we're doing. And then they go after a motherfucker who's in his 60s like Stuttering John. Y'all are pathetic. It's the most weak shit bro, go after Logan Paul. Go after Jake Paul and his fucking gay ass fans. Do that. Or fucking come after me. I did. Right there. We've done that.

Starting point is 01:29:27 Yes, that's what he really wants. Come after me. Something he's told us not to do on numerous occasions. This guy wants a subreddit dedicated to goofing on him. It's what it comes down to. Paddy verse. Paddy to not. He's so bad. He's so jealous of the attention that all the other low cows are getting he's like Remember he was like I'm not a little cow. That's like why I'm not a little cow. It happened. I like that He was like Yeah He was like stop picking on somebody your own size come pick on me like stop picking on somebody your own size. Come pick on me.

Starting point is 01:30:03 I'm the little guy here. He's calling all of us old. And he's like, and your goofed on this guy who's 16 years old? Well, yeah, I grew up with Stuttering Child. We all know him from the Howard Surgeon show, Dabby. He's like, how do you guys even know who this guy is? They choose to go out of the way and be like, oh, I'm gonna go out for this 60 year old guy

Starting point is 01:30:20 who happened to work with Jay Leno and Howard Stern. First of all, how do you even know about this guy? How do you not how do you know stuttering John exists? You must be a fuck You know top of that you must be old as fuck to care Because it's like I'm gonna go after a guy who had a mediocre career on the radio or on TV and Make a fun of them because he's trying to make a comeback and podcasting. But look at everybody else, bitch. If it wasn't for podcasting, Bobby Lee wouldn't have a career, okay? So you can't go and make fun of one guy for doing the same thing that everybody else has

Starting point is 01:30:55 done and been successful at and he's mind-release successful. Would it what's to make fun of? So he does not understand. He's going after us, but he's not paying attention to what we're talking about or why John's fascinating, why the devil versus exists. He knows about it. But he's like, oh, it's just another guy like Bobby Lee, who didn't ever career anymore. It's out of the podcast. It's no. It's not. It's the difference between a husband like John and it never was like patty. Right, that's why people know who John is.

Starting point is 01:31:25 He's a husband. And his saying, like, oh, I don't know who Howard Stern is, but these guys know who John Mendelssohn, the producer of the Jesus strings was, you know too, Dickhead, you're like, I saw this guy at the game club. Well, you're at the game club too. You saw me because you're there.

Starting point is 01:31:42 Yes, good points. Yeah. So this whole thing where he's going, he's trying to pretend that we would make fun of anybody who used to have a career and now was trying to do a podcast on YouTube. The same way we make fun of John, just not the case. Have we made fun of Bobbie Lee? Yeah, he's good for a segment or two.

Starting point is 01:31:58 I can get an episode out of him. Suthering John is a fucking career. You don't understand how bonkers this guy actually is and how bad he is at podcasts. That's when we make fun of him. Kevin Brennan tries to do this thing where he's dismissing shilly. He's like, oh, why don't you go back and make fun of a guy for stutter eggs? Like, you're purposely missing the point. No one's goofing on John for stuttering. That's not what we're laughing. That was what people laughed about in 1989. That was the funny thing about John, but we're way past that now.

Starting point is 01:32:25 Now he's a drunken buffoon. There's a famous saying that says, uh, stubborn John isn't a businessman. He's a businessman. You know what I'm saying? Yes, correct. So this is really funny because this is, I got to pull out my hypocrisy police shirt on this one. 99% of you are only watching maybe a minute minutes worth of the video before you leave a comment or dislike.

Starting point is 01:32:50 So therefore you're not even taking in the substance to make a proper judgment. At least have the wherewithal as an adult, as an grown up person to say, hey, you know what? Maybe I should adjust a little bit more of this before I say something stupid. Yeah. This is like, you were just going after a hack ride because you said that he created his whole persona while sitting on the shitter, deciding to go after Sudduring John and create a roller coaster.

Starting point is 01:33:13 And he's doing a whole episode about that. And all these assholes are really watching content and they're goofing on it. You're one of those assholes, dummy. How does he not realize that? And here just goes back to, just goes back to his research, just like go back a little bit, because like, you won't prove these people

Starting point is 01:33:31 they don't listen and inform the opinions. I dox myself on episode eight of my show, Casey Dworkenday, everyone knows who I am now. I'm not behind a mask, he doesn't even know that. These are like Japan people listening to 80s music. Catch up. Japan people listening to A.V.s music. Catch up. Japan people. That's stupid Japan people.

Starting point is 01:33:49 I heard of them. So people are still paying attention to Patrick Michael, including the great sea moose who had a voicemail for you, Hagrid. A great sea moose. I just listened to free water and I need to know if you can check on Hacride for me because I don't know how he's possibly going to recover from a merciless beating. He just received from, you know, broken skull. But I love Hrides so much. I wish he were my dad. Actually, did Hagrides need a new dad? Hey, if Hagrides is listening, I have an idea.

Starting point is 01:34:37 I have a proposition for you. How do you feel about being each other's dads? Anyway, call me back. What do you think about being each other's dad? Anyway, tell me that. What do you think, Hagrid? I'm gonna be the top dad. I like to be the top dad. I don't do it if I get to be the top dad. I'm gonna shave.

Starting point is 01:34:54 I'm gonna shave. I'm gonna shave. I'm gonna shave. It's only the great Seaboss would be okay with that from what I'm hearing. It's judging by his delivery out it. All right, so I do have a lot more Christmas free water with Sabam for Saturday. I want to bring in Cardiff.

Starting point is 01:35:11 I want to bring in Annie and head cried. Have you ever caught any of them? Can I say one more thing to wrap up? Yes, please. I don't know this person. It's okay, I don't know this person. I love stepping on cards. It's like my favorite thing to do.

Starting point is 01:35:24 You know what I'm trying? It's these things, please. I just don't try this person and I love stepping on car. It's like my favorite thing to do Please don't try it and it's very funny. It's very frustrated. It's face-to-different color. It's fun Yeah, anyway, I just have one simple question for you all it's a it's a sociological it's a philosophical question If a cactus falls in the desert Does anyone care That's all now we can move on That was your note that you had again, too. For cactus models and things. Does anyone care?

Starting point is 01:35:53 I'm gonna be thinking about that all night now. Yeah. Well, we still have one of the people who were hanging out in Paddy's live streams. I have so close where he talks about how, you know, I found out who my real fans were because my first 15 live streams all these people showed up and they stopped showing up

Starting point is 01:36:11 like, that's not new to me, you're boring. Yeah, you understand that? That's the problem. It's not because these people are fans or not real fans just because you suck at this. All right, heck right, you've never caught an alien before, have you? No, no, no, just demons.

Starting point is 01:36:24 I didn't believe in aliens. I think we're kind of the fun the same dimension though. All right, wow. This is very exciting We're going to catch an alien Yeah, let's bring everyone else It's time for the return Mom has never caught an alien was and she come down. Jenny Jingle is here. I think so. She just had one. It's time for the return of everyone's favorite game show. To catch an alien. Are you ready to play? To catch an alien.

Starting point is 01:37:01 Andy. That the world is better when Christianity is at least somewhat within the moral fiber. Yeah. I mean, I think, you know, I was raised Catholic, you know, as an Italian, like I'm not, you know, I love Catholics. Yeah, but you could, you know, you could go burn up a building and I don't know. Confession, it's all good. I'm going to lock out.

Starting point is 01:37:20 Yeah. But, you know, it's, it still gave you that grounding where, you know, whether you believe it, you don't believe it, it's still gave you that grounding where, you know, whether you believe it, you don't believe it. It's still a good to have, a good base to have because you always have that thought in your mind no matter what you think. That's exactly right. Well, that's a moral accountability, right? Yeah. It's the eyes of God are upon you at all times. That's a very good argument for the necessity of God.

Starting point is 01:37:39 I'm talking more societally too though, if you do not have some form of Christianity and or Judeo-Christian worldview, then something will take its place. There is no such thing as atheism. You might say, I believe in no God, and you said, well, what do you believe then? You have to have some viewpoint. You have to have some ethical code. And I have an operating thesis that there's five fake religions that have then permeated the West.

Starting point is 01:37:58 One of them is the religion of anti-racism or the cult of diversity. So you get rid of Christianity, and then people start worshiping at the altar of BLM. And I see how it all goes together. So you have your racism between colors. You have the racism between politics. Yes. Then you have the trends that just for what did Tommy say? No one raises a piece. The racism read up people don't like Republicans. And the alphabet has the letters. It's good stuff. I have the trends they just were.

Starting point is 01:38:27 What did Tommy say next? I swear every time we do a Wednesday show and we have Anion here. You always fight when we're talking about trans people. Is this on purpose at this point? What do you mean? You're the one that writes these. I just put my face to the face. Oh, you're muttering, Jay.

Starting point is 01:38:51 Here are your choices. Number one, playing hide the sausage. Be wearing wigs and everything else. Playing hide the sausage is not the worst game, by the way. I was gonna point that out. Well, they're playing in a different way than you played. I understand. I understand.

Starting point is 01:39:10 Or are they? On TikTok, and then decided to take hormones for just looking for a way to win more swimming trophies. Lastly, always playing with dolls anyway, might as well cut it off to catch. I always go first. I'm going to go with B wearing wigs and everything else And I'll hand it over to Lucy tight box. What do you think I was also leaning towards B wearing wigs and everything else?

Starting point is 01:39:54 Okay Andy, what do you think buddy for looking for more swimming trophies? Okay, and the Q public says for I'll head over to hack ride right what do you think i got uh... i'm gonna take my heart over my head here i'm going with the cutting it off and that is uh... which one last last d number four uh... last last

Starting point is 01:40:19 heck right get with it i never make it to the spot of the show and he would think I never make it to this part of the show. Any, what do you think? I'm going to go with on TikTok and then take a movement. Okay, that's a funny one. Producer Chris, I went with B. Okay, so we got three Bs. Everything except the first one.

Starting point is 01:40:40 Okay, no one thought they were playing hide the sausage. All right, let's find out if Cardiff wins this one. And I see how it all goes together. So you have your racism between colors. Yep. You have the racism between politics. Yes. Then you have the trends. They're just for wearing wigs and everything else. Whatever societal arson that war then got your sex change, right? Then they move. So you have that group, that group, that group. Now you have all this racism basically, just in different ways, which we never had before. Then it's getting shoved down. People's throats with TikTok,

Starting point is 01:41:13 like they said all this other stuff than news. You know, because big farmers behind that, politics are being hit. That's right. So on and so forth, they pick and choose what they show. You know, somebody's got to pay the bills. I see how it goes now. Who is I always say? I stay on this, I I've probably because I think your academy is so important.

Starting point is 01:41:28 Thank you. Yeah. I mean, look at I'm this is my strike zone. So yeah, I think I asked this last someone with guests we had on who is you've seen the movie The Wizard of Oz. Yes, who's the puppet master? Who is the man behind the curtain? You guess first. Guess. You know, but I could say, you know, they hear the name George Soros. He's part of it. He's a finance here But Bill Clinton you hear you hear these names. Who's this cult behind it? I always wonder I say gates for Obama or Gates and Obama from the guys are Gates is involved Obama's involved. It's not a singular person. It is definitely a cabal. I mean That's all for this time and come back next time to find it if you have the backing of Big Pharma enough to catch an alien.

Starting point is 01:42:12 Brought to you by subreddit surfing live Saturday March the 9th Comedy at the Carlson in Rochester, New York. Get your tickets now at Carlsoncomedy.com. Sit Eugene sit. Good dog. Tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt t Lucy and me. I'm the big in the studio loser. Take that hackride. This guy decided to call us up hackride and lose contests. Where'd you think of that when I was a shitter? I'm gonna stay loose these tits all day. I win. I'm the winner. Take that, Patty, see cuffs.

Starting point is 01:42:59 Oh yeah, there we go, baby. Show the demon. Show the demon once going on. Guys, do a show. I'm paying attention. I don't know. I'm over here doing show Fair enough even I'm uncomfortable Let's wrap things up Andy the all apologies podcast. Yeah, we just put out a great episode About Demi Lovato freaking out about frozen yogurt because of her eating disorder and cheese. I was talking about it with Joe Sixpeck and

Starting point is 01:43:35 when all of the right-wing, you know, flyover states say like these lips and snowflakes are the problem. Demi Lovato is who they're talking to. Yes. She personifies all of that. Yeah. And we also, yeah, we also talked a little bit about Bella Thorne's only fans scam.

Starting point is 01:43:57 Basically, she apologized for that. Yeah. We made it work. He's wanted to talk about it. Yeah, yeah. There's a lot of only fans that should be apologizing for their only fans. Yeah, that's true. That's maybe going to be the well we dip into more often. Lucy, type box, you're still doing once over with Kaylee on YouTube.

Starting point is 01:44:19 I sure am. What are you talking about? You can find it once over with Kaylee, which is C-A-Y-L-E-Y. Thank you, Cardiff last time for making me spell that. It was the chat. Also, it is there is a link in the description as well. And I'm working on right now a Review of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and I also just got done filming some stuff with Tony from hack the movies. I'm only fans.

Starting point is 01:44:45 He does have an only fans if you're interested. I'm not on there. But we were filming his big Christmas episode. So lots of fun exciting stuff coming out on his channel as well. Now, can you see Tony from hack the movies on Hack Ride the Rolla Coaster? Is he a part of that? That sounds sexy. Hack Ride the movies.

Starting point is 01:45:05 Hackride. Where could people find you, sir? Yeah. But. I'm bringing music to my plugs, baby. Organ ducks theme. All right, big game this week. You guys should watch it on Fox.

Starting point is 01:45:19 Pack 12, I don't know why I'm plugging that. Has nothing to do with me. Go to our. Go to our. Go to our.com for all my socials, YouTube's, merch and music and Nudes got lots of nudes go there a puzzle box at a hack right on YouTube two episodes left I'm going come and see why by my project. I might not let check out craigs very good show You should have Craig on Carl. I know I will I will

Starting point is 01:45:41 I'm also on who are these broadcasts? Yes, are you aware that I'm on your network? I will I'm also on who are these broadcasts? Are you aware that I'm on your network? I didn't even know that you know that I'm on your network on who are these broadcasts? I want to I'm fuckable in America. It's fun. It's It's got all these broadcasters. Yes, I have a And I appreciate it. Thank you for being a part of that and of course I'm trying to make my bloodstream and now you're making it longer And I appreciate it. Thank you for being a part of that and of course Your plug sure

Starting point is 01:46:16 Hackride what car I believe Carlos trying to say... I win a bet that counts! I can't see you! Mental illness can literally drive you crazy. Again, his comedy's under the laypeople! Don't blame him! Annie! Yes, and go to WinniePack on YouTube! I'm done!

Starting point is 01:46:38 Okay. Annie, what are you working on right now? Today, we recorded the quarry with Huzi from its Huzi hello. That episode went really well. He only made a couple of jokes about me being a white supremacist. Very bad, all right? You can you can find that on YouTube. What is this game at WITGS? All right. Well thank you all for being a part of the show today. We do have to wrap pretty quickly, but please join us again next time and it might be the episode we find out what's up for all. Holi's podcast, deep well every pony.

Starting point is 01:47:11 Starting in the must-vis of Morning Radio. Get out and show these clothes right now. Okay, great show. Good job everybody. Great job everyone. So I have a ton of voicemails actually There's a lot of Gary a lot of Gary impersonators a lot of fun things I'm gonna record that when I get back home from the show so we can fit all of that in so I'm gonna Sign off from the live show you can should do that every time now. Shut the fuck up, Andy!

Starting point is 01:47:45 The voice bills are great here. I'm gonna lose the voice bills, Simon. Here I am personally. He's a boy dead! Shut the fuck up. All right, I am back home. It's almost 11.30. That show went longer than I expected.

Starting point is 01:47:58 I just went to see Adam Sandler, down to the Blue Cross, arena. It started with some guy came out, and then Nick Swarzen comes out. Well, Nick Swarzen, of course, good friend with Chad Zumak, as we all know. Nick Swarzen is great. Then he brings up Kevin Neelan. Kevin Neelan, I'm going to see this weekend, it coming with the Carlson.

Starting point is 01:48:15 So I assumed he was just in town anyway, but that was a fun treat. Then Adam Sandler comes up and he does comedy, Mix With Songs for about 90 minutes. He's playing guitar, he's playing bass. He's a guy in keys. It's a mix of stand-up and different songs and they're quick songs or quick hitters, quick punchline moving on, big visual boards, big visual element to it. That was fun. Then he's got to flashlight out and he's spotting people in the audience and doing kind of an audience participation thing with them and He goes, I think I saw someone I recognize out there and he pulls out his flashlight There's Kevin James in the audience and Kevin James has a wireless mic for some reason. Hey, what's up? I just here hanging out. Okay, so then Kevin James comes up on stage and they start singing dream on by Aril Smith for some reason

Starting point is 01:49:07 so that's odd but they're singing dream on and They get through you know a verse of the chorus and then Adam says you know, we really need percussion out here is anyone do we bring percussion with us is that gonna happen? So a guy comes up with bond goes. It's Rob Snyder. Rob Cedar comes out. He's got the bond goes there. Oh, you're going to play bond goes Rob Cedar just does his catchphrase. You can do it. Thunderous applause, pectorina, by the way, thunderous applause. And then he leaves. He doesn't play bond goes apparently. And Ben Stiller comes out. I'm still shocked

Starting point is 01:49:46 by this. We're in Rochester, New York at a Wednesday in November. And Ben Stiller is with them to play the bongos. And then he grabs a mic, starts singing with the guys a little bit. And then everyone leaves the stage. And him goes back to his thing. He does this tribute to Chris Farley, the song that he wrote to Adam's credit He could have definitely Done hit songs. He does this one part where he calls out. What am I gonna do for an encore? Well, it's not even a call out. He's singing a song and he references all these tunes and the crowds go nuts for every single one that he mentions He never plays any of them. He never does any of the greatest hits. Everything's kind of new as far as I could tell. So give him credit for that.

Starting point is 01:50:29 He didn't rely on things that people, you know, a medium pace or the Hanukkah song or something. That he could easily get the crowd going bonkers for it. He doesn't do that. So he does this Chris Furley tribute song. Everyone's got their phones out, that whole thing, and then he does a tribute to his wife and family, and that's the end of the show. And it lasts a very long time. Star studded. I'm still

Starting point is 01:50:53 shocked that Rob Sider came out and did nothing, because I heard Dick Masterson talk about the first performance in LA, and Rob did a whole stand-up shot and a political rant sounds kind of half-expecting and hoping for that, but none of that happened. Great time though. My wife, not a huge Adam Sandler fan. A lot of rain tonight, a lot of traffic. I've never been in traffic like that. I know this is really boring,

Starting point is 01:51:16 but on the way down there, we literally got out of our uber on the expressway and just walked to the arena because we were just stopped. My God, fuck it. We'll just walk. It wasn't raining at that point, but then at the end of the show, it most certainly was. And so we walked down to a bar down the road because getting an Uber right out of the stadium would have been tough or the arena.

Starting point is 01:51:38 So we decided to walk down and hang out for one and then got the Uber back. I'm home now. And I got to play voice maails. Let's get into it. Zion force calling and he's not happy with me. Hey Carl, Zion force. I'm a few episodes behind here, but I just wanted to give you a very polite fuck you. Don't drag space balls down with the likes of Dave and Confused. Okay, then we'll be fucking sucks. Space balls is packed with humor from start to finish and I'm just gonna have to have you take that back. Okay? Otherwise, I'm gonna pull my $5 off Patreon and you're fucking done for it, buddy. Yep. Peglegged. Cuck.

Starting point is 01:52:17 Oh, I had force coming in the hot. I like spaceballs. That was my point. I like spaceballs. I think it's a funny movie. But if I were to watch it today and I didn't know the jokes back then or understand where I was at when I first saw it, I would think it kind of sucked. That was my only point. I could be wrong about that. Fick Gary coming into the show. Hey Carl, this is the guy that pretend to be Gary from San Diego. Hey Carl, this is the guy that pretend to be Gary from San Diego.

Starting point is 01:52:51 I forgot to say that I'm fucking hammered and I wanted to fuck what's your name, Kimby. So if she's into like 37 year old versions, uh, like give her my number. Okay. Thanks. Bye. Wow. That is Kimby's type. Good news, fake Gary. That is Kindis type. Good news, fake Gary. You are going to get some full show. Another fake Gary calling in. Hey Carl, it's Gary from San Diego. I was talking to Sandy after I found some male of hers that had a bunch of advertisements for places in Cape Coral. Apparently, she found a pretty good place for 6,000 a month. And I said, hey, Sandy, what are you looking at this for? She said, oh, I thought we could rent a place and maybe run into Stuttering John.

Starting point is 01:53:37 I haven't seen Sandy since then. Say, Kari, you hold the creep off. Do you know how to disclose with anybody? I'm just asking for a friend Maybe so do I know he's probably killed enough hookers Rock and roll rock and roll fake Gary lots of fake Gary's coming in lately And why not what a fun character that is this reminded me I really Why not? What a fun character that is. This reminded me.

Starting point is 01:54:03 I really, I'll point this out during an episode we're doing. It's another in John's like when at some point, but John is everything he returns to hate. When Chad Zumak threatened to drive to his house and vandalize out of the what Chad was going to do, burn it down. Who knows? John was so worried about it. And for real, he called me on the phone. He was back when he was calling me on the phone. He was all upset that Chad

Starting point is 01:54:29 was going to come to his house. He called the police department in our town. And he said that he has them surveying the area every 30 minutes, looking for Chad Zubak. So John, when Chad pretended that he was going fuck with his house, fell for it, hooked by a nonsenker and also goes, a Chad is a bad guy. I don't know what's gonna happen. Fast forward, John finds out I'm running my house out and he's going to shit on the walls and pee in the pool and vandalize my house. If I reacted to that the way that John rated the Chad, I would call the police on him immediately. So John, if you're listening, you're fucking moron yet again. You're the same person as Chad Zumaak. You're fat, unlikable, unfunny. You are Chad Zumaak. The only thing Chad has that you don't

Starting point is 01:55:20 is youth. And that's a weird word to use. I almost didn't get it out. It's a weird word to use. We're talking about Chad Zubak who's 50 but compared to you, Chad at least has some type of potential future in front of him. You have nothing. Scorch's voice is weird. Hello, Paul. This is Scorch. A lot of you listeners, like universities make people wondering what happened to my voice. You see, I live on a diet exclusively filled with blood-informed and industrial solvents. Wow. It doesn't really, did you know that the United States could all up to pleasure their wife? Scourge could also get pleasure his wife, called 1,200 scoots get pleasure. He's way that is not a phone number scorch if it was that'd be very depressing

Starting point is 01:56:09 But I always love when you have the surveys and the statistics for another segment and Get people to call in and actually you know what they don't have collins on that show. I think about it I don't know if I've ever heard a comment. They probably pre-record that shit. Motherfucker! Scorches doing that shit. He's not getting up early for it. It's just not fair at all. All right. Here's a Spanish lesson for you, John. Listen up. John, to add us me, who's the, who add us me, who's the, you fucking cognol?

Starting point is 01:56:46 Yeah, there is a Spanish word for bitch and you're not using it. John uses the word for female dog, which does not translate. He's such a fucking moron. And he's been doing it for months. And he's such a dumb dumb idiot. All right, there's a guy who leads me voicemails. He complains, I don't play them. And then he calls a bunch of times and they're all terrible.

Starting point is 01:57:03 This is his third take, I call this the take three for bad voicemail guy oh so if we suck the dick of Carl we get on the air okay Carl I love you Carl you're the greatest Carl you fucking fuck uh... any transverger that's that's my message okay that's my shout out. Help me save me. Yes, I I defeat this transverter Actually, maybe I should throw that to King D. Hindi H2 as much as I do that probably be better. All right, all right play that one

Starting point is 01:57:38 Bye. All right. I did good one. Hope you're listening. Hope you enjoyed that one. I hope you enjoyed your own Good one. Hope you're listening. Hope you enjoyed that one. Hope you enjoyed your own antics on that one. This voice belt I'm not even sure why I saved it. It's only 10 seconds and it might be funny. I can't tell Do gay Dracula's get AIDS. Our vampires called Drac it was a Dracula just one vampire. It's like saying shooly's. It's very offensive to call vampires Dracula's. I don't know. I could be right. I don't know what's going on anymore. All right. Here is the actual Gary and San Diego. He's got an update on the Rochester show, the Suttering John Rochester show.

Starting point is 01:58:27 Hey Judy, I have a hypothetical question for you. Okay. Would you consider going to see Suttering John in Rochester on March 10th, if I was to go get you a brand new Lexus RS EV for Christmas, let's say. Wow. new Lexus RS EV for Christmas, let's say. Wow. Uh, okay, let me up the anis. Is there any car you might consider? No bother. Gary, you didn't want to go anyway.

Starting point is 01:58:53 What's making you consider going with this awful show? Well, to be honest, now that Vinnie's dropped out, I have no intention of ever going to see Stuttering John. I don't want to give him a dime for his show the only thing that might entice me to see that rin john is if he did he did the entire show sitting on top of the dunk tank

Starting point is 01:59:16 i don't want to go i'm really sad that vinyls dropped out so that's it from uh... rhanter brinardo rock and roll uh. Rock and roll. Rock and roll to you, Gary. I'm not sure what we're talking about. You're trying to convince your wife to go to the show, but then you don't even want to go to the show. It all seems a little staged to me.

Starting point is 01:59:37 Let's check in. We recently did fart mouth, a podcast. I didn't realize that I was, was not a show with Tyler. Oops. One of the hosts is Tyler and someone who has an opinion on fart mouth. Man, thank you for reviewing that piece of crap fart mouth. That thing was in my Spotify recommend for bringing moms and I don't know why it just sounds retarded looks retarded and you guys basically confirmed all my functions I had about this show so thanks a lot

Starting point is 02:00:12 she was great Vinny Winnie. Fuck Vinny Winnie, who would have thought the show fart mouth wasn't very good? I know, I think I go see you know what? I had a feeling it was going to be immature and ridiculous and I was right, yeah, well, stop panning yourself on the back, I could have figured that out myself. Now we have a new Gary, this is Gary from Mobile, Alabama. Hey Carl, Gary in Mobile, Alabama. Listen, Judy and Gertrude and Margaret

Starting point is 02:00:43 and Irving and I can take a hint. So we went ahead and murdered three of your Mexican fans last week and we did it while wearing onions on our belts, which was a style at the time. Anyway, lock and load. Wow. Lock and load, lock and load would have been slightly funnier, but I still like the Cut of Your Gib. I appreciate that, I'm enjoying these new Gary parodies. I don't know what you'd call them, but I'm enjoying it very much.

Starting point is 02:01:16 Paulie from Dirty Jersey's been calling in, singing us songs a lot. He's got a new parody song for our parody song contest, the Howl Day song contest. Hi Carl, it's Jonathan Paulian, dirty jersey. I just couldn't go to sleep without entering your newest Christmas contest. So here we go. This is to hear Come Santa Claus by Gene closed by G. Naughty. No music, sorry, I'm working on it. Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da today. W-H-P-H this break in B seems like every single day. O-B-N-A-Stutter, R-R-R-R-R-More-Runs every day. And Chazoo, Mark, Moinsuck, some cock, and eat out his boyfriends. That's thanks for asshole. Yeah. Thank you, fuck you for asking. Yeah. Thank you for your bike.

Starting point is 02:02:25 All right. We've been fine without you holding out that last note like that. I don't remember that from the original song, but very good, very good. Jerry in San Antonio. Now Gary and San Diego, he gives us updates on Settling John, which I appreciate. Jerry and San Antonio, he's following Chad Zumak. So of course we need updates on this. Hey Carl, this is Jerry from San Antonio. I got a quick Chad Zumaak update. Turns out he's still a loser. Reduce for you. Go fuck yourself. Yes, he is definitely still a loser. Good call on that. And what a fucking loser Chad too, Mike is. It really is

Starting point is 02:03:07 incredible. Holy shit, the roller coaster of emotions. First of bonus episode, wow, Carl's gonna talk shit about Stuttering John for another two hours and 15 minutes. Never heard that shit before. Okay, fine. Then it's John's busted Vinny. Oh shit, well we kind of all knew that was coming. Vinny here ReTard, who actually thought you could hold that together until March. But then, but then Carl said the one thing that's ever gotten emotional reactions from me, from Carl, was that he was going to prove how gravity works. And I immediately got excited because I thought Carl was going to go jump out the fucking window. And then I remembered that Carl's retarded loser who podcast from a basement

Starting point is 02:03:50 failed again. I see what you did there. I see what you did Wasn't expecting that thought that was gonna be nicer, but all good Gary and San Diego again and he's reading the internet. He's got some information for us. Hey Carl Gary and San Diego again and he's reading the internet. He's got some information for us. Hey Carl, Gary and San Diego. Well Judy just got home from a play and she's looking at the internet and she says you're not going to believe it. US News and World Report listed best places in the country to retire. I said okay, read it to me. Sandeer was got to be right near the top. She goes, no. Sandeer goes 115. But you never guess it's going to be higher than Sandeer. I said, who? She goes Rochester's

Starting point is 02:04:37 21 and Naples Florida's 28. I said, you got to be kidding me. Carl is smarter than I thought. And so it's uttering job. They're both right near Naples. And Carl's living in Rochester. Wow, Judy, let's listen to our house tomorrow and move to Rochester. Great. Okay, I'll keep you posted, Carl.

Starting point is 02:05:01 I'm on my move. And Rock and Rolla. All right, Gary. Yes. Move to Rochester. It's beautiful here. The beautiful rain storm. I was just in leaving the arena tonight. It's not a bad place. I think that's based out of affordability. There's a lot of positive things when it comes to Rochester. It's why I like to live here for many of the months during the year just not all of them. And so Gary, you are very welcome, buddy. All right, one more. You know, I don't want to sell like a queer and nothing. But I think the new I still sell them for to kick ass. I agree. And I didn't realize when I was promoting it last episode. So the I still have a new album, Fireworks Factory.

Starting point is 02:05:45 It's available wherever you stream music. I knew it was on Bandcamp, I had a link, but it's also available wherever you stream music. So check that out. 10 new smoke and hot tracks from the isotopes. I got a text message that came in on our line. You can call the line, you can text it before you call it,

Starting point is 02:06:03 because we play the voice mails. I don't usually read text messages, but this one comes in from funny Gurkin and I was planning on reading this to Lucy But of course I'd get everyone out of here so I can go to the show It says is Lucy tight box single asking for a friend the friend is my penis. I Will make sure she gets the message sir. I think the answer is yes. Although I will say the funny Gurkin. Actually, let me look it up. What is a country code 61? Where do you think that might be? It is Australia. All right. Well, good luck with that. That's probably not going to happen. I do appreciate all you Aussies Who who watch the show or listen or whatever you do. Thank you so much

Starting point is 02:06:49 So I guess now we're gonna segue into the stoner girls. Goodbye Yourself have a good week. Okay, folks. Guess what? The episodes over! Are we down here? I think we are. I got to go. Goodbye. Goodbye. That was a great episode. That was really great! Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Oh, yeah.

Who Are These Podcasts? - Ep461 - Where My Moms At?

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