Who Are These Podcasts? - Ep477 - Drama Podcasts

Starting point is 00:00:00 And that is the story of when the Dabla Shit Christmas. Epishoed number four. Seven. Seven. Welcome to Simonis Frequency Radio. Are you a boner guy? Oh, I was a boner guy. You know what I miss being this? What are you talking about? I'm the one who should apologize.

Starting point is 00:00:19 By the way, for those people that are in the back, remember to shut the fuck up. What a dick. I've been dying to say that. Cause, cause a row, cause a row. Slapperoonie. It's show time. W-A-T-P-W-E-T-P Hello, everyone.

Starting point is 00:00:51 Welcome to the Hello, everyone. Welcome to the Hello, everyone. Welcome to the Hello, everyone. Welcome to the Hello, everyone.

Starting point is 00:01:01 Welcome to the Hello, everyone. Welcome to the Hello, everyone. Welcome to the Hello, everyone. Welcome to the Hello, everyone. Welcome to the Hello, everyone. Welcome to the Hello, everyone. Welcome to the Hello, everyone. Welcome to the Hello, everyone. Welcome to the Hello, everyone. Welcome to the Hello, everyone. Welcome to the Hello, everyone. Welcome to the Hello, everyone. Welcome to the Hello, everyone. Welcome to the Hello, everyone. Welcome to the Hello, everyone. Welcome to the Hello, everyone. Welcome to the Hello, everyone. Welcome to the Hello, everyone. Welcome to the Hello, everyone. Welcome to the Hello, everyone. Welcome to the Lucy tightbox. Well, hello, welcome to the show. Also with us,

Starting point is 00:01:07 shoots he did it again from the All apologies podcast. It's Andy Q public. Let's talk shit. Please go to who are these calm together. email address, voice mail number, lead to our sub write it, lead to our discord server, lead to our merchandise, lead to our YouTube channel. And of course, that lead to patreon supercast featuring two exclusive bonus episodes every single month. And you can watch the unedited show live or anytime afterward.

Starting point is 00:01:27 I just dropped a brand new show yesterday. We did a review of Julia Fox's book, The Second Time. We've done that with the Blind Mike project and the second time Simon and Schuster gave us a copyright strike. I thought they would learn from the first time. So I had to dispute it. So if you wanted to listen to it, the games the copyright strike. I thought they would learn from the first time, so I had to dispute it. So if you wanted to listen to it,

Starting point is 00:01:47 the audio was out there, we released it on Patreon and supercast, the video's been taken down off of YouTube. Just like what happened last time. We were able to put it back up after a couple of weeks, but basically I went in there and disputed the copyright claim, we're gonna go through this again. It just seems like a waste of everybody's time. I'm gonna tell you this.

Starting point is 00:02:03 Right, because I just released the copyright because last time you guys continued to fight it And I just ended up winning in the end and I will again And so I was trying to be nice about professional, but it's like what do we do? Don't make me get let inches. Yeah, well seriously. Sue me retards. It's fair you so I don't know what to tell you We're not about fair use of the last few years Also, we encourage our listeners give us a five-star review on Apple podcasts or wherever you review podcasts and then shit all over in the comment section today. We'll be competing for the worst podcast in the drama category.

Starting point is 00:02:35 We've each brought a different show and you the listener will be able to vote for which one was the worst. Let's get into it. Controversial week last week. I have the results. I heard about that. I have the results. We's get into it. Controversial week last week. I have the results. I heard about that. I have the results. We did mental health podcasts last week. And I'll read you the results. I decided to put the poll in one place. It was only on our Patreon. Open to anyone. And I linked it on Twitter. So I made sure that people could see it. But I didn't want to put it

Starting point is 00:03:03 in all these different places. There's just one poll and that poll says, bring it up the rear. Yours truly 17%. Terrible. Thanks for asking. People thought that wasn't as bad of a show as I presented it to be. You're wrong, but that's fine. So my pencils have a race show. It was a bad show. It just wasn't the worst show. I see. I see what you're saying. So then in second place Would be Lucy type box with am I a bad therapist 25% of the vote. Yeah, so the guy doing the dance over here Trucker Andy as he was once known the artist formerly known as

Starting point is 00:03:40 59% of the vote was Trisha penis, but then it was pointed out 59% of the vote was Trisha Payness, but then it was pointed out Listen, this is not a podcast shut the fuck off. This is a YouTube video from a YouTuber Crying on YouTube. That's a podcast. I qualified this at the beginning of the segment This is adjacent to the frenemies fallout which I mean, yes, it's a YouTube show, but guess what? This is a YouTube show too, at times. I was trying to bring a video element to, and everybody brought a video element to the show. But I just, I mean, it's fine.

Starting point is 00:04:15 It's fine, I'm fine with it. Are you not entertained? I'm fine with it. I think you did a great job. We oftentimes bring on this week. YouTube videos and YouTubers. All right, so yeah, let's talk about this week because as I'm prepping for the show,

Starting point is 00:04:29 I get emails come over and we've talked about this before, we've had some issues with the email files coming over, Andy got screwed one week, but we figured that out. So I get emails from Lucy Typax and from Andy. And what I do is I go in, I want to see what shows they reviewed, so I don't pick the same one. So I go in and I check them. And I saw that I think Lucy misunderstood the assignment. And I went, oh, shit, maybe I should have been more clear on what I was

Starting point is 00:04:53 talking about. So then I check Andes to see if he also misunderstood the assignment. And Andy had sent me over like 12 clips or 15 clips, and they're all the exact same. The whole show. Yeah, They're all the entire show. They're all label different names, but then all the final sizes were suspiciously exact to the same. They're all the same life. I'm not all professional podcasters. That's true.

Starting point is 00:05:17 That's the takeaway from this. But I'm glad that Lucy fucked up the assignment because I wouldn't have checked your shit until last minute. Like I normally did. You're welcome. Thank you for being incompetent. Yes. It's what we're all trying to do. Thanks for being a dumb dingy broad.

Starting point is 00:05:29 We appreciate that. That's what I'm here for. I know. Listen, I'm the one who writes up the descriptions everywhere on the show. That's those are the words that I use. So I understand. All right. So what happened is I sent a note to Andy about three or four hours ago.

Starting point is 00:05:45 Hey, these clips are wrong. But you had a note to Andy about three or four hours ago, hey, these clips are wrong, but you had a chance to, to save face. You're going to go first here. Yeah. So let me ring the bell because it is time to go into the drama category of podcasting over the years on WTP. We've had a lot of fun with these style podcasts. And so I was interested to see what you guys would pick out. Yeah, that's the great thing about drama.

Starting point is 00:06:08 Whenever you're wondering what movie you should watch, go to the drama category because it encompasses a lot of things. You'll find a lot of action, you'll find a lot of horror type of things, and you'll find a lot of like tear jerkers. So it was pretty easy to find something. And this one was on my radar for a little while. Oh, okay. Because I it seemed like something adjacent to my dad wrote a porno. It's this show feels like it wants to be it wants to catch that lightning in a bottle. I see. Before I get to what it is, let's just kind of set the stage and clip one

Starting point is 00:06:47 where the show is going to start off with a little bit of intrigue. A crime was committed. On a day that started out very innocently. It was just a stunning day. There were these little fluffy clouds and blue sky and Karen's dress blowing in the wind. I mean, it was just magical. Two beautiful brides, Helen and Karen, made the appropriate assumption that their wedding day would be the most memorable day of their lives. It was great. I think the whole day was fabulous.

Starting point is 00:07:24 There was a lot of love from the air, I think. Everything was wonderful. It was a very special day. Well, it was memorable, but not in the way you think. I'm sorry. I got it in truck real quick with a question. So two lesbian's got married. Right. That sounds fun. But combined weight, do you know the answer to that? That's a question. I'm going to go out on a limb and say 397. Oh, I'm not as excited about the study more.

Starting point is 00:07:56 Thankfully, hopefully one of them dies or both. Yeah. All right. So let's find out what this is about. Okay. Well, you can see there's a little bit of drama interjecting. We don't even know what's happening yet. We know that it's a gay wedding that doesn't really go according to plan,

Starting point is 00:08:10 but gay wedding equals drama. I mean, that's where that's where drama, the drama is the buttole baby of the gay wedding. Right. So let's, that was good. To everyone's. Sure. COVID knowledge and clip to let's get to the meat and potatoes

Starting point is 00:08:27 of what this is actually all about. And I went in and I opened the door at the end. And I was like, oh, what the fuck? Someone has shut on the floor and Karen's wedding. I was so far from the courts. I'm Detective Lauren Kilby and I'm here to crack this case. This is Episode 1 of Who Shed On The Floor at My Wedding. With the brown note at the end.

Starting point is 00:08:57 Yes. Appropriate right there. So this is a show called Who Shed On The Floor at My Wedding with Helen and Karen, the two brides, the plus size brides featuring Detective Lauren Kelby, who we'll get into a little bit later. Okay. But this is kind of a new show.

Starting point is 00:09:18 And this could be something that is just forget it. Let's explain it away. Oh, some unfortunate staffer had to deal with this mess at a wedding and let's just move on with our lives. No, we're going to make a 13 episode series, multiple hours just mulling it over and dissecting it to an inch of its life. This is a true story?

Starting point is 00:09:45 Yes. Guy. And so you can already know that means that the end we get to find out who shed on the floor at my wedding, right? I can we know it down to someone in a dress or skirt? Hey, well, that's what I thought. That would make the most sense, right? It just kind of like somebody couldn't hold it and it just fell out.

Starting point is 00:10:03 So fucking gross. You're just for chaps to all the wettings. No, I don't. Okay. Well, all right, we did mention that my clips were a bit of a mess leading up to today. So I might get another weeds a little bit here. Carl, clip three, what is that called? Is it kick things off? Okay, let's see how they kick this episode off. Sissing here with my wife. I like that you're turning into blind, Mike. Like, uh, what's the next one, Craig?

Starting point is 00:10:31 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Alright, kick things off. Okay, yes. And then I'm going to be, it's going to be, it's going to be very much me flying flying flying flying flying. That's fine. That's okay. Sissing here with my wife, that's me, Helen Muglockham.

Starting point is 00:10:41 Two years ago, on the 11th of August 2018 we got married. Yeah, the best day ever. It was the perfect summer's day because it was in August. And it was on a boat so we had a hide-and-seek boat that we had a ceremony up on the top deck. Jazz band. Fucking gay privilege right here, Jesus. We had free flow champagne in the Lopen bar which in hindsight could have been a critical mistake. Someone shat on the floor at our wedding. So we thought we'd better reach out to our friend who's a detective. Yeah I'm not sure she's actually she's not technically

Starting point is 00:11:14 a detective she's a wannabe detective and probably the best thing we could have got to a detective given that we had no money to pay anyone but we're very grateful that you're here Lauren. Thanks for coming. I don't had no money to pay anyone. But we're very grateful that you're here, Lauren. Thanks for, for coming. I don't have no money to pay anyone. They're out of boat with a jazz band getting a big boat with a jazz band getting in an open bar. They're like, yeah, you know, we don't have a lot of body,

Starting point is 00:11:34 obviously. It's a pleasure cruising around Amsterdam. And for sure they're Australian or British. I don't know. I'm pretty sure they're also in port British. And I can't tell on the part Whatever ask that if you give me shit. So different. Yeah, I know But I'm sorry. I pause let me go let me go back. Thank you

Starting point is 00:11:54 Anyone but we're very grateful that you're here Lauren. Thanks for coming along. Yeah, that is A really nice introduction. Thank you Karen. Actually I have, I am qualified. I have been involved in plenty of crimes and I've actually just recently enrolled to my online private and vestigated course of which I've received the introductory email. Okay, so let's look at the fact. She's not a detective, but she plays one on tea.. She's applied for degree and she's been eating Taco Bell since this happened. So she could become an expert. I understand why you say my dad wrote a porno. It does have that vibe to it. Yeah. Only with all the cheeky, playful music, yeah, stuck in between every single clip. Okay. So it's pretty obnoxious in that way. But

Starting point is 00:12:44 in the next clip, I think this is where we get into what is S's. We have a discovery. The discovery, okay. This is where Helen actually steps in the sun. What? Yeah, somebody steps in it. So I remember going downstairs through the doors, which you already opened the bathroom,

Starting point is 00:13:04 and I just stopped in my tracks because I saw a huge shit in the middle of the floor, and I remember the very first reaction that I had was, wow, this is early on for this kind of thing to happen. So that was your first thought? That was my first thought, yeah, it was. So you were expecting it, it's just... You knew that that was coming. It was shocked to say fake or matter on the floor, but you were... So you were like, oh, the times are a bit off here.

Starting point is 00:13:31 So your first thought was already? I'm afraid to hammer that one into the ground. Jesus. Oh yeah. So the shit was on the bathroom floor? Yes, but... This isn't even... No, all right, and then I'm just qualified as a podcast. If there's shit out in the bathroom for them,

Starting point is 00:13:48 they almost got there. I love the dance for. Yeah, it's not like Dane Cook where somebody shits on the coats. It was actually in the bathroom. Somebody just didn't make, that's what I mean. You're gonna just kick it with your make up. You're gonna make a big deal right?

Starting point is 00:14:03 This just tell the, tell the first mate to fucking scrape it up with a snow shovel. I'm sure there's a poop deck joke it here somewhere Yeah, oh, where are you when I was writing these clip? All right, well So let's just jump to clip eight. This is gonna kind of sum up the show It's gonna sum up the entire season of what this podcast is. Coming up, this season on Who Shed On The Floor At My Wedding. When you posted a photo of a toilet, on the 23rd of January 2018, with the caption, prepare yourself, the shits about to hit. What did you mean? If your theory is created, then that means that someone who was wearing a J-string

Starting point is 00:14:49 did not commit the crime. Did he look stressed? Tense? Was he too good like he was hiding anything? I don't think so, but what? Makes me think, though, because he was talking to absolutely everyone, so he actually spoke to the culprit at some point. So we have got a device that we will be using to extract the truth from our victims. You mean a lie detector test?

Starting point is 00:15:13 It's a lie detector test. My question regarding if you shed on the floor on vote is a lie. You are so low. It's telling me that's a lie. This is a real fucking twist How many weddings have you been to where there has been a shit found on the floor? What did you eat for breakfast? I hate the show. Wait, it's ridiculous because this is like The most interesting thing that's ever happened to these people, right? They have to

Starting point is 00:15:42 The guests talk only about this for the rest of their lives, seemingly. Well, also, they used a word in there. They said, we have a device where we'll know the truth from our victims. You mean suspects? Yeah, right. The victims of the people listening to the show. Yeah, I'm feeling like a victim right now.

Starting point is 00:15:59 And he's forcing me to listen to this crap-tacular. Do you know what else completely perplexed me about that? They started that clip out with saying, this is what you will hear on season one, which implies that there will be a season two, which I see. Well, they get remarried to other people and then people are shitting all over their wedding. Yeah, that's what it is. It's a completely pantsless wedding season two.

Starting point is 00:16:20 Okay. So this makes me think it's not even real. Yeah. And you can hear though, when I said, I don't know if they're English or British, because she was like, it's a lie, detict, detiste. Lent? Lent, detiste. Definitely, Australia.

Starting point is 00:16:35 Yes. But it's some people in the chat are saying, Aussie or Kiwi is what people in the chat. Okay. All right. It's Kiwi, that's what's throwing us off a little bit. But we can't overlook the production value of this show. They're trying to make this as interesting and possible. I think in Clip 6, this is where they drill down on the fully work of it all and they try

Starting point is 00:16:59 and put you at the wedding. Oh, great. 915, the post-dinner disco commences on the top deck. The DJ starts. 930pm, the boat docks, for a quick 10 minutes at Amsterdam Central Station. The tired and mature guests doesn't bark. That's not even English. You feel like you're there. Yeah, you're the dance bull. You can almost smell the shit. It's really, it's really such a great production value. Now, the old guests disembark there before the shit even shows up. That is, that's how you set the stage for the mystery. I mean, you eliminate the most obvious suspects,

Starting point is 00:17:52 right away, right? All people shitting their pants. That's a given. Yeah. So now, we really don't know where this could go anywhere now. And this might take five seasons to figure out where this third came from. And if anyone's listening, it might take five seasons. If no one's less than that, they'll probably wrap it up pretty quick. Correct. But clip five, they have to figure out, they have to get in the mind of criminal minds. And what would, why would somebody do this at our wedding? Asnuss, um, motifs, what do you think? So we've got number one, which would be malicious intent.

Starting point is 00:18:36 So this is, this is the dirty protest category, isn't it? So this is like not necessarily. Well, someone out to get you, I'd say. Well, the lasagna didn't come hot enough Let's take a shit on the floor. Well, that's not really a protest. I don't like chocolate moose for dessert. You fuckers I'm gonna sit on the floor How about I hate your unfunny podcast. I'm gonna shit on the floor. That's pretty good. Yes, Carl I left you something upstairs That's pretty good. P.S. Carl, I left you something upstairs.

Starting point is 00:19:03 All right, what do we got left, Carl? Just the experts. Oh, okay. Oh, my God. This is insane. Okay. They reach out to multiple legit people and just waste their time with this nonsense. Oh, good. If it's a very loose uh, thesis then it indicates some of his anxious.

Starting point is 00:19:27 If it's a very hard thesis then it's likely to indicate somebody who is angry. I think revenge is a very strong motivation. You have to pull some strings for us to just submit a hundred pairs of shoes to a lab. Yes. Then, um, obviously. What on earth enticed you to work with us as a complete amateurs given this amazing, absolutely no idea why I said yes. Yeah, this is like Kareesoo side for all of us. We've obviously got all these experts on board, but the key to this crime is going to be the interrogations.

Starting point is 00:20:08 And we're actually going to be interrogating your closest friends and family. I'm going to have to use things like the lie detector tests. Who gives a shit, who gives a fuck? And I use that drive because I believe it was Steve Langford who shit all over the bathroom with Sirius. Oh yeah, I'm excited to get to the bottom of it. See, I think the problem here is it's not a terrible premise, but you can't drag this out for multiple episodes.

Starting point is 00:20:32 I guess it's being a one off because the experts say that judging by the spatter pattern, the guy was five six. The worst shard. Yeah. What do you see in the shit? According to the flavor that guy he corn and is over the age of 57 So okay, that's who's shat on the floor at my wedding Andy brings who shit on the floor of my wedding and now

Starting point is 00:20:56 Lucy tight-box because you took second place. I'm gonna hand it over to you What are you presenting for us today great? Like Like you already said, I totally misunderstood this assignment. Or maybe not, because. Nope, I did. I looked in the drama category. You did, I did. And then I was like, well, this can't possibly be what you meant, because it's like not funny, bad.

Starting point is 00:21:19 It's just, I don't, I didn't know how to listen to it. All right, let me explain what I meant. Let me explain what I meant. Because maybe this was in the drama category and I'm not understanding everything. I was thinking of audio drama It's acted out. It's scripted. There's fully work. Yeah, there's a story going on That's what drama is I just described my show. Yeah, I just I agree I think you're okay, okay, but then I saw just a quick thing from Lucy's thing and it looked like you're dealing with like drama. Yeah, like interpersonal drama. Yeah, like dramatic. Yeah, Baloney. It's gonna be great. Trisha Payton is considered to mental health. I think whatever you brought. You don't make the fucking rules around here. Obviously you break the rules. you don't make the rules. All right, well, I'm breaking the rules this week. So we are going to start out with the cold open of the show that I checked out.

Starting point is 00:22:08 And I will admit that I did do a little bit of video and audio editing on this clip. Always allowed. But I think that you will, you know, figure out when that happens. If Santa Daddy hurry up and put down the knee on me. I've been an awful bad girl John's a baby, living in a house with no lights Santa Gangsta, I know that you're strapping up tonight Hemorrhage is burst from his rear

Starting point is 00:22:46 John's a baby, we snore on his face He must wipe Think of all the fun I've had I've been silly now Of a Santa's bed I teed The heart is placed be. That's a long cold open. Yeah. Oh, that's cut down all so was it? Yep. That's too much. Oh, I know. Okay. So the show called hot tea. This is hot tea with tea, TEE, and if you were just listening, you got to miss her dancing around

Starting point is 00:23:21 and shaking her butt in little like sparkle shorts. I want you to recreate that actually. That's your next assignment. Cool. A pink Christmas tree is involved. Yeah, it's just a lovely cold open. We know so much about her from this. I had to look her up because I had no idea who she was. It turns out that she is from a show called Baddie's East, which apparently is a reality show

Starting point is 00:23:42 that is somehow related to Bad Girls Club, which I also don't know anything about, but I guess that that is where a bunch of girls, I don't know, act like unruly women and I don't know, there are fights and stuff like that. They face some to live in a house and they hate each other. Yeah, exactly. So that's what comedic effect. Yeah, that's what T is all about. And so she has this podcast where she is going to spill all of the hot Tee or gossip. Yeah, I know. So it's definitely full of drama as I'm sure you can guess. Sure.

Starting point is 00:24:14 So let's find out what we are talking about today in clip two. two. I T the hottest place to be. Hi everyone. Welcome to hot tea. The hottest place to be. Today we are going to be building a gingerbread house. Yo. Pull of drama.

Starting point is 00:24:38 Oh boy. Yeah. Can you imagine to talk about working on that staff where it's just when she says it we all got a yellow Three people yelling it shit off Her camera is literally everything for her So this reminds me when I got to the content house Chrissy mayors content house couple weeks ago My friend What's her nuts was building this I guess Oreo has come up with this brilliant way to be Lego

Starting point is 00:25:04 And if you guys are familiar with this, but they had these, this Oreo package that you have to put together a train with. You need to put all these things together and assemble this thing. Now, the reason why I bring this up is because that's a 48 hour long stream that they're trying to fill the time on at Content House. If I was doing a podcast, I wouldn't have brought that up. Yeah, for the next 32 minutes, we're going to build this Oreo train. It's going to be so great though, aren't you excited? So let's find out a couple more

Starting point is 00:25:35 things that we're going to talk about today in clip three. Sorry. And we are also going to be getting a little bit to know more about me. Hey, and it's Christmas edition, obviously. We're still in the Christmas by. We're still in the Christmas spirit. And we're going to be discussing hot topics and hot tea. While we're building this gingerbread house, we're also going to be talking about my house, because that's what we're in.

Starting point is 00:25:56 We are in my house, and I want y'all to know the real tea, but let's jump into a tea cap. Just happen. Yeah, I did not do that at it. That was her. I guess that editor is just cutting Just happened. Yeah, I did not do that at it. That was her. I guess that editor is just cutting her off. Yeah. That's because she was talking about me too much.

Starting point is 00:26:10 She wants to talk about me and me and me and me. Yeah, so what the hell is a T-cap? Might be your next question. Let's find out in clips. She's one or one. Let's jump into a T-cap. We have the gingerbread house, the actual house. We've got the gummies, the peppermint,

Starting point is 00:26:25 Christmas tree gummies, the frosty. Spray goes. It should be super fun. I couldn't be less interested in this. Her fucking voice is so annoying. That was a tray. Oh my god. Where did it go?

Starting point is 00:26:43 CJ, sorry. Technical difficulties, I need that trick. Hot tea. Okay, so you thought that the assignment was mentally impaired people? Yes. So we thought, mentally impaired people. It was drama. It was very dramatic, which she escaped from her straight jacket.

Starting point is 00:27:01 Drama, so I did ask that question, how is this a drama podcast? Yes. Well, to start out, everyone is asking that. It is titled Christmas Love and Drama. We got tree emoji, love face emoji, coffee cup emoji, which I assume is supposed to be T. So that's your first clue is that it has drama in the title.

Starting point is 00:27:22 Sure. Right. I feel like in the realm of YouTube, just disagreeing with someone equals drama. Yes. Yeah. So she is a drama channel because she's all about gossip. She loves tea. She loves herself.

Starting point is 00:27:37 Oh, I got it. You know, it keeps on. She loves it. I do. I miss the assignment. I'm sorry. 2003 says you. All right.

Starting point is 00:27:46 All right, so one of the topics of this episode is Christmas. So let's check out clip six and figure out the Christmas portion of the show. So for me, I'm a real tree kind of person, but I'm a fake tree kind of gal. What? Or any of those words. Do you like fake boobs or natural boobs? Yes.

Starting point is 00:28:09 Uh, yeah, she's an idiot is what. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, so I did get a little bit bored of the fact that there was no drama yet in this episode. Sure. This is like 10, probably about 15 minutes. I'm not hearing any hot gas. I know. I know. So maybe the next segment is going to bring us some drama in clip seven to behind the team. If you don't know about this part, this is when we go behind the

Starting point is 00:28:36 scenes of the things that I've done as far as work in L.A. and in the industry. Oh, I have a question for you. Yes. How many views does this video have? Views, I don't remember. I want to say it was popular. Yeah, she has over 500,000. So yeah, yeah, she's doing great.

Starting point is 00:28:56 That's frustrating. She's doing really, really good. That's very frustrating. I'm just stupid. Mm-hmm. This is why everyone wants to be a YouTuber. They're like, well, I think one can do this. I might as well just start doing that. She's making a gingerbread house. It's so endearing.

Starting point is 00:29:10 It's terrible. Okay. It's completely awful. All right, but at least this sounds promising, right? She's about to tell us. Yeah, let's go into LA inside her secrets of LA. Oh my goodness. So the first thing that she talks about is how she was in a Tyler the creator video So the first thing that she talks about is how she was in a Tyler the creator video and music video and she Describes this by saying oh well, it was warm outside and it was a nice experience and I was like well, that's not any tea. What the hell are we doing here? That's how Andy described as Christmas What do you ask? It was great experience Yeah, it was more of it was nice. It was great experience. Okay. Um, so that was what her experience was with Tyler the creator cool But maybe in clip nine we will find out a little bit more some better tea about LA drama

Starting point is 00:29:54 Another behind the tea is back in the day. I did this Google commercial. Oh Man, I can't do it Man candle it Into it Google commercial alright, so in clip 10 what happened In wardrobe but treated me so terribly like I'll never forget that they treated me like You deserve to be sure that black girl. Oh, no, here we go. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, no offense, but she doesn't look black. No, I know. I didn't even know she was a black girl. So when she said that, I was like, she's black. Yeah. Um, and I was very confused as well. Um, but it turns out she is. And everybody treats her like that. And that's very upsetting for her. So that is exactly what was so scandalous about

Starting point is 00:30:43 this Google commercial. So let's find out what horrible things They did to find out anything about Hollywood that they treat black people terribly all the time all the time That's what they're always doing in Hollywood. The people are preaching to us about how to interact with various members of society They don't turn over the role of Captain America to black people in Hollywood. No, I just try my shit. Yeah, of course. So what? No, I changed the rules for the Oscars and the best picture. Iron Man is a black woman and Captain America is a black man with wings.

Starting point is 00:31:15 That's and so obviously she struggles suffering. The struggle is real in Hollywood. Okay. So the real question is what did they do that was so horrible to her to treat her? Like she was a black woman horrible. I know. Clip 11. Like they made fun of the fact that I was wearing juicy couture. They were like, what is that? Like I was wearing a sweatsuit and they were like, what is that? And I was like, juicy couture. And they were like, like that's so 2015 like really mean women. That's something to do with you being black. It also is so 2015.

Starting point is 00:31:49 That's exactly what that is. And they were the wardrobe department. Of course, they were going to be assholes about your clothes. They were probably assholes to everybody. It's a Google commercial. It's not a sort of mix a lot video. So she ends up crying in the dressing room over this experience. Yeah. This is where the drama comes. She said, she said, oh, they put pants on me that didn't fit because they

Starting point is 00:32:11 didn't understand how my hips work. And then I cried in the dressing room. It was just absolutely awful. So that was the drama portion of this show. And finally, because it was her name again, Tee T. Porty. Yeah, I know. It was a really sad time for her. That's a big rough day. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:32:30 Uh, so we have Christmas love in drama. So we got to get into the love portion of the episode. Um, so let's go ahead and check out clip 13. Gingerbread house. The muffin man. Do you know the muffin man? Who? The live on Druid line? I love Shrek. I need to watch that movie

Starting point is 00:32:48 Bro, what are your guys's favorite Christmas movie my favorite Christmas movie is like elf? Yeah, Will Ferrell. I used to think Will Ferrell was so fine and what about Halloween candy? What's your favorite Halloween candy while we're at it? Has everyone turned into a bad morning show call in segment? Yes, every fucking youtubers is trying to pass the time away. Yeah. Shrek is not a Christmas movie. By the way, I think it's time to think of that. She also, I don't know if you caught it at the end there.

Starting point is 00:33:14 It kind of got cut off on the clip. She said, Will Ferrell is so fine, not fun. Oh, yeah. Then she goes on to talk about how handsome she used to think he was when he is hot and alph. That's for sure. He's definitely sexy in that movie. All right. I watched a movie. Games are out on Christmas Eve. Go on. Because we were looking for a Christmas movie to watch that we hadn't seen before. And we saw Santa Jaws. Oh, yeah, it's great. Oh, it's terrible. I loved it. Why? What's good about it?

Starting point is 00:33:41 I liked the, I liked that a lot of it takes place on land Which I think is really funny and I like the Marina the whole things at the marina. Yeah, but a lot of it's on the docs at the marina sure and then I'll see I mean yeah, but I like there's supposed to be this holy yacht parade Yeah, and there's never prayed. Yeah, the crazy thing about it never watch this movie the movie poster shows a Shark with a Santa hat on its fan. Oh my God, that sounds pretty cool, right? And then there's the lights also it has lights.

Starting point is 00:34:10 Yeah, yeah. And then what's crazy about it, I don't know when they shot this at Marina Del Rey, but there's nobody else in the movie at any part of it. There's no one in the background. There's no one milling about. It's just the people in the movie the entire fucking time. This isn't Los Angeles. It's a very highly populated area.

Starting point is 00:34:28 That's just a good location management. Is that what it is? That's a credit to the production. They people own a restaurant. They're preparing this giant meal. No one ever shows up. And this is all right. Because you're a movie person.

Starting point is 00:34:40 So I want to ask you about this. Go on. I like bad movies. This movie was not a likable bad movie. They actually wanted to make a good movie for some reason. I didn't lean into it. They were literally trying to make a legit movie for some reason. And it sucks.

Starting point is 00:34:56 Yeah, it has the same kind of effect as Birdemic in that way. But I like Birdemic as much better. Yeah, Birdemic is much better because they're, they really swing for the fence as a birdemic. much better because they're, they're really sweet for the fans. It's a birddemic. Well, Liz, if you're gonna talk about that, do you want to have somebody trying to make a good movie and succeeding? Do you want to have somebody trying to make a good movie

Starting point is 00:35:14 and failing, or do you want to have somebody trying to make a bad movie on purpose? No, I know what you're saying. Yeah, because the, I don't like those movie movies. When they, yeah, it's like, it's corny on purpose. Yeah, I don't like that. I am with you on that The problem is is that the whole premise of this is that this comic book artist this kid in high school draws this shark

Starting point is 00:35:38 Santa Claus Santa Jaws Santa Jaws. I'm so Santa Jaws and then because of the. Santa Jaws. And then because of the pen he got from his grandfather comes to life. So it's the most nonsensical plot ever. And they treat it like, yeah, this could happen. It's just not well executed. Okay, so I was about to do your phobia of sharks. So I think that's right.

Starting point is 00:35:57 Well, into my extreme experience. Okay, I forgot about your sharks. So it works for me. She checks under her bed. Yeah. I'm gonna start tagging all of my video clips with sharks popping out. I forgot about your shark. So it works. She shucks under her back. Yeah. I'm going to start tagging all of my video clips with sharks popping out. Yes.

Starting point is 00:36:10 You should. I don't like that everybody knows this now. It's out there. Sorry, sorry, brought it up. Cool. But I had to watch that stupid freaking movie. So I want to do it. You chose to watch that stupid free.

Starting point is 00:36:21 Well, then we watched screw Jeff to where I felt better. That's good. Great movie. That's good. Where are we with this? We were in the middle of the love, love segment of this drama, love and Christmas pod show. Yeah, we're a little fair. Uh, yes. Uh, so we are going to continue along with that. And we are going to play a game, uh, um, in clip 14. Okay. now we're gonna play Smash Your Pass. While I'm doing this gingerbread house deal because I'm honey, I'm getting it together.

Starting point is 00:36:49 Brooke here, she's one of the producers on the show. She's gonna be yelling out like who I'm gonna smash and who I'm gonna pass, okay? Okay, let's get it to it. Kana. Oh, Smash Your Pass, Kai. I'm not a smash. First off, disclaimer disclaimer this game is for if I was single, but yes, she's I know match will fail so she's just gonna smash everyone

Starting point is 00:37:23 She passed on you dude. Yeah. Well, she also passed an Antoine too. So I don't feel as bad now. She played this game for like a solid 10 minutes. Did she really? Yeah. Oh my god. Did she explain why or anything? Just just keep going rapid fire like that. No, rapid fire. Yeah, that's really stupid. She also says that the producer is going to yell the name off the screen and then she's getting handed pictures and it's just not. She doesn't know why these people aren't. She says she has to stare at it. She pronounced the first guy's name wrong.

Starting point is 00:37:50 Yeah, I noticed that. After they had already told her what it was. Yeah. Or I don't know if she maybe she pronounced it right and the producer pronounced it wrong. Who knows? I doubt it. Well, I know it was right. I don't know the idea who that was.

Starting point is 00:38:00 All right. So finally, she is going to actually try to finish the gingerbread house, which I know is why we are all here Tell me with the gingerbread cookie everybody come help and put stuff everywhere This is what it looks like because we need to finish it He's old to son you to sit to piss He's old to son you to sit to piss Santa daddy can you come and jingle my bell tonight It is now complete my Christmas everybody

Starting point is 00:38:43 So she had everyone else do that for her yep, she really just put her arms back on you guys do that. Yep. I can't do it the entire crew the entire crew does Absolutely everything for her this whole must be nice. Yeah, well that why she's a success I got me there except for successfully putting in your clothes that aren't sweat pants right all right, so that's hot tea Is what you brought for the drama category. Yes, that exactly met their requirements of the category.

Starting point is 00:39:11 Okay, let me present to you the podcast that I brought. It's called Omega Star 7. And I'll explain how I found this podcast because I think this is kind of interesting. I went on a subreddit, someone was asking, what audio drama podcast would you recommend? And the first comment underneath it was, and they put in there what they enjoy. So they put some things they enjoy, like science fiction stuff.

Starting point is 00:39:35 So the first comment underneath in that thread said, because I see both Wolf 359 and science fiction in the things you like, my show, O Megastar 7, a seemingly episodic space opera adventure about three bounty hunters in space trying to survive each other as well as the universe they inhabit. At this point, things are beginning to unravel, and the main plot is beginning to reveal itself. It's a full cast with improvised dialogue that was recorded in person intermixed with guest appearances from other podcasters, sometimes playing characters, sometimes dramatized versions of

Starting point is 00:40:09 themselves. And I went, oh that sounds like a hunk of shit. So let's check it out. Season four episode one. Let's get this underway shall shall we? Season four. Hehehe. Hehehe. Captain's log. First one out of hypersleep. It's only been a decade, but it feels like an eternity. I've been placed on a mission that I've been told is of grave importance. She's the first one out of hypersleep. She's been sleeping for a decade. Feels like an eternity.

Starting point is 00:40:45 Well, a decade's a pretty fucking long time to sleep. Sorry, check it out. Like, whole captain's log thing is such a cop out. Yeah. It's like, let me set up everything that's going on right now. There isn't a narrator, but the characters do it for you. That's the thing with these audio dramas. They always have to explain what they're seeing.

Starting point is 00:41:02 Holy crap, I can't believe that explosion over there just happened Wow, do you see that I sure did that other thing exploded to I know I Can't believe it It's one of my favorite parts of right that my my new favorite trope that I just saw it recently is when they have a An autopsy what do you call me go to the morgue? The guy that's doing the autopsy? Always has to be eating a sandwich while he's doing it. Yeah, every fucking non-plotts by the whole thing. Oh, same old shit every day. I just haven't my lunch. In night of the creeps, that's like my favorite. Every single thing that he does, he like opens up a

Starting point is 00:41:39 briefcase. There's a sandwich in it, eating it when they're taking away. I love that. They can't not do it. I like it. I think it's a mortician. It's played out. it eating it when they're taking away. I love that. They can't not do it. I like it. I think it's a mortician. It's played out. It's the word you're liking far. Yes. Well, a mortician is the person who does the work preparing somebody for the funeral. They don't do that part.

Starting point is 00:41:55 The other part. Medical examiner would be the person who's doing the autopsy. She's well, the autopsy. Correct. Correct. You say the autopsy. I'm talking about the autopsy. The guy that's doing the autopsy is actively eating a ham sandwich that happens to my,

Starting point is 00:42:08 it's over. It's over. We're missing the point. We're missing the point here. Yes. You're science fiction. What can't miss you, Adam? You wanted to know what the mission is.

Starting point is 00:42:17 That's what we need to know. I want to know what the mission is. What is the reason for this decade long hyper sleep in order to get to this deep space area. Read a crew of scientists, follow me on the veil, to investigate what is believed to be a derelict cartographer station. They're going to investigate a derelict cartographer station. What is a cartographer station? Well, I want to know. Map. I'm already sucked in by this. I'm like, wow, a derelict cartographer station? Yes, you are correct.

Starting point is 00:42:47 A cartographer is someone who creates maps. Cartography is map creation. This though has nothing to do with maps. It's this ancient civilization of people called cartographers. Pick a different word. Pick a, don't use a word that already means that. I mean, that means. Are they actually derelict or is that also just a made up word?

Starting point is 00:43:07 I think that might actually be accurate. Okay. And this one. All right. One for two. That's not bad. Okay. So let's find out what's to meet some of the characters because in any drama, you got

Starting point is 00:43:20 to have wacky characters. That's a big part of this, especially audio dramas. Because you were all well aware, you've been assembled by Astro TechnicUd and investigate what we believe as a cartographer station hidden light years beyond the borders of the seven systems. We are all well aware of our mission. I know we all got the jitters, but 10 years in hypersleep can really do a number in someone's memory. Sats, we can't all be as brilliant as you point next to her. As I was saying, there's space scientists.

Starting point is 00:43:45 There's like a renda guy. Well, hold on a second. What? I say, you know, they'll have to do their stupid voices and shit. Now, I will say if I was ever going to do something like this, and I think we should put this on the wheel of consequences for the crew to create our own audio drive-up podcast. That'd be fun.

Starting point is 00:44:03 I would go with this voice personally. Whatever we find you can expect that the cartographers haven't well protected. I know from experience. We are approaching our destination. Guest of me at time of arrival one hour. That's the guy, that guy's character's name is Graves, played by Chris Baso. That's the voice that's so over the top. There's no nuance to it all. Robert Jummer, Robert, Robert, Robert. It actually is the reason why Kevin and I all those years ago started focusing on Cooper Commander because this is the guy who got a lot of voice over work in the 80s and has no

Starting point is 00:44:41 range. Just everything's like screaming about everything., yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah this. I know, no, who would listen to this? We are approaching Gartagra for Facility Delta. I want an energy readout on that station. Now. She's talking to a computer. She's like, I want to read out on that station. Now! It's like, well, I was going to wait a minute, but okay. If you say so, it's weird.

Starting point is 00:45:18 She has Delta. Has no conventional energy readouts at this time. Conventional. When the seven systems do you mean by that? I do not detect any solarium powering the station I love outer space slang. What the seven systems are you talking about? Judging by the lack of electoral magnetic interference, it seems to be running on pure ether That is unconventional the cartographers were anything but enough talk show us the station pulling it up on view screen now Terrible 74.000. This is blind-mic is screaming coroner right now. Yes. That would be that would be the correct answer Thank you much appreciated. You know producer Chris isn't here today and

Starting point is 00:46:01 Maybe the correct answer, sir. Thank you. Much appreciated. Producer Chris isn't here today. And it's really showing in our ability to reason and think things out as a group. All right, this is where things get crazy. There's this little girl on the spaceship. And there's a pedophile, which I'm like,

Starting point is 00:46:20 I'm like, this is weird. I wouldn't have expected this. Now it's getting dramatic. So the pedophile comes over and whips his hog out and the little girl reacts to this Wow, it's massive That was it's supposed to be an adult woman's voice right there for some reason of that sure what they were going for Okay There's a thing that is known as a placeholder when you're writing a story a book a movie

Starting point is 00:46:56 You're not sure what the word is for a thing yet. Yeah, you put it a placeholder Sometimes this is actually happening legit movies and things they forget to actually put in a word for that I think this is one of those examples you don't think the photographers booby trapped the station do you they were basically the apex ruling class of the sometime somewhere they never the sometime somewhere what where and what are we dealing with? Sometimes somewhere. I do it. We'll all be just go get by who gives a shit and throw it in there who gives a fuck. They never felt the need.

Starting point is 00:47:33 Spoken like someone who's never excavated a cartographer facility. What do you mean by that? The cartographers went through great lengths to protect their secrets. What do you make sure they were protected? Oh, poppycock. I remember I said it was oftentimes imprompt. I'm feeling the poppycock didn't make it into a script. Maybe it did, I don't know.

Starting point is 00:47:55 But wouldn't you... Lied? You have a second take at that, that's fine. If you fuck it up. Okay, so that little girl I was talking about, who was excited about the massive hog that was a joke, it turns out this is actually a some type of non-human being because they explain what her name is in a lie.

Starting point is 00:48:18 Dexter, for us, you're with me. My name is... I know your name. I just can't pronounce it. You got four eyes, don't you? Well, yes But then it settled start analyzing four eyes. So either this creature has four eyes or just a girl with glasses I don't know but either way that's kind of funny. Come on four eyes. My name's Samantha. I don't like that Your four eyes now

Starting point is 00:48:42 All right, I guess they call me three legs. It was a pretty good joke. Wink. That's a pretty good joke. I have won how much Lucy laughed. She's like, no, that's not even remote. That's not true. Oh, exaggeration gets me every time.

Starting point is 00:49:04 Now, four rises and the only one that has an obvious name on here. And I do appreciate that. I like that names are descriptive because we can't see what's going on. Gunslinger, you get that? Why do you call him that? What? Gunslinger. Oh, well, isn't that obvious?

Starting point is 00:49:21 It's things are good. Yeah, it actually was obvious. We didn't need any part of that. Well, when you put it that way, yeah, it's done with gunslinger the whole time, and we would have been fine with that. All right, so there's this, I think this is a robot. Its name is Boltz, and it seems like, I think we're in the future. It seems like Boltz is non-binarybinary because of the pronouns being used here.

Starting point is 00:49:47 Okay, so this is again my favorite character Graves talking to bolts. You're the captain. We're packing it in until the mar. Fine by me, but you might want to say it a little louder for bolts. They've been trying to get the door open for the past 15 minutes. Give it a rest, bolts. We're going back to the ship. Would you just hold on a second? So I might understand that robots in the future can be hee-shee or they, them, or it. It seems like this is going to get very confusing.

Starting point is 00:50:21 If you're like, why don't you bring my computer over? Like, yeah, bring it. It's a them. I'll bring them over. It's very offensive to my computer that you would say that. Could be. I know that. All right. So now again, they're describing something

Starting point is 00:50:38 and using those most generic general words that we have no idea what they're talking about. All right, let's get out of here. Well, what the hell is that? What is that? It's an artifact. Hey, Kepp, we found something. What the heck? Grave says it's an artifact, some kind.

Starting point is 00:50:59 Okay. No idea what that could possibly mean. There's some way different things an artifact could be but they're like dramatic. It's an artifact. Whoa, all right. I think we came here. Are we sure that the artifact doesn't turn out to be a map

Starting point is 00:51:12 and that's why the cartographer is? Oh, probably not. All right, I tried. You find out in season five. Hey, look at this. I found a do-hicky. Nope, it's a widget. Oh no, no, no. It's a thing

Starting point is 00:51:25 of a job. Alright, we'll get it over here. Okay. It's just garbage. You're just calling it an artifact. Yeah. So again, I think this is for children. Just the way it's acted, the way it's written. Everything about this seems like it's child-friendly. I wouldn't go in there. Oh, you heard graves. I'm blind see Seven fucking sit. Oh my god. He fucking exploded Bart in the insubordination captain, but we need to get the fuck out of not worth- That was the first time there was any costing in this show and it just fucking goes for it. You mother fucking cut gun slinger! How mother fucking murder you dick! Like whoa, whoa, what just happened here?

Starting point is 00:52:16 The greater good says, put you back at hypersinues. We're almost through it. I promise you that. Okay, so I guess it's not for children. Apparently. Apparently it's for adults I don't know who would ever listen to something like this. So Let's get into some more great acting

Starting point is 00:52:42 You mind explaining to me why the station just exploded? We had retrieved and not a fact. And that caused a century's old space station to self destruct if I had to guess. Yes. You expect me to believe that? I like that. You expect me to believe that? I mean, we're all pocketmitted at this point, right?

Starting point is 00:53:01 We're all just believing in all sorts of nonsense. Now you're going to start questioning the narrative on this. I mean, come on. So the bad news is bolts did not make it through this explosion. I know. I know. I know. I know. bolts who we all love. But remember, bolts was non-binary. It was they. The last time we heard, Boltz is actually acted by a person named Cat Bach. Okay. I would imagine the name Cat with a K would be a woman, right? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:53:33 Or it could be either. Sounds like a woman, right? All right, well, then this happens. Wait, where's the engineer? Boltz, he didn't make what happened to him he fucking exploded what you're losing precious time I want an entire dissertation on this artifact by the end of the week so you best get busy damn corpoh have a heart I have three none of which want to be stuck light years away from civilization a little carpo it's just

Starting point is 00:54:03 like calling your car. She rate bolts. Yeah, I don't even became a he of a son. That's too bad though. The bolts didn't make it through the first episode. I already forgot who had the big hog. There was no hog. That was a joke. Come on.

Starting point is 00:54:18 There was no pedophile on board. I set that whole thing up. Who is your favorite guy? I so my favorite guy was graves graves. Yeah, he's a guy like, Oh, everything's fucked up. Yeah, fucking motherfucker. The fuck George. He's got getting it in the groin football in the groin. My groin. All right, this is the last clip I have. For whatever reason, what you're about to hear plays at the end for over three minutes. Oh, no. I guess they're trying to pad their runtime or something like that. Yeah, it just does like that kind of random space music whenever I remember that. Sounds like a load screen for a video game.

Starting point is 00:55:05 Yeah. Well, that's what we've learned from Tricia Patus is that you need like eight minutes between mid-rolls. So they probably, if they played that for three minutes, they could probably put another add in to the episode. There's no ads in these episodes. Oh. Well, that makes sense because it's terrible.

Starting point is 00:55:22 Yeah, because no one's listening to us and And we want to advertise on it. Right. Oh, that doesn't make sense at all. Why that would go for three minutes. No, I base no sense. So my podcast in the drama category is Omega star seven. If you want to vote for Lucy tight box, great science fiction show. She brought hot tea and Andy brought who the hell shed at my wedding when we got gay married on that boat

Starting point is 00:55:45 No, I was a calm who shed on the floor at my wedding Your shit on the floor at my wedding. All right at this time it is the The week cringe of the week and We have a couple of cringes of the weeks this week The first one is coming in from Nick Tucker Who found our boy Tommy from MSCS media. Oh, talking to that like billionaire guy.

Starting point is 00:56:08 He's had him on the show a couple of times now. Okay. And so he's talking to the billionaire guy about, I think I've only heard this context. I think what's happening is Tommy's talking about the rules around the way you interview women now. There's a lot of rules about what questions you can ask. Like one of the big things, and I remember this from owning a business,

Starting point is 00:56:30 oh, Kurt, I'm holding a fucking business, I can burn. I don't think I remember. Is you really can't talk about, so you're gonna get pregnant anytime? Oh yeah, how are you, Mary? How far along are you? You can't ask, well, especially now, I'm about far along, are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, how are you, 5% and the fact that you can no longer ask if a woman has their peers. It's not in big business. Well, allegedly, you should have never asked that.

Starting point is 00:57:11 Oh, you know, but one of my final questions is ma'am, sir, doctor, you know, you can't, and the fact you came as a woman, she's on the fucking rag anymore. Yeah, that's proud to pop. You can't ask. You just tell a woman your PMS It's not a question. I won't the blue is like well, you can't know you that's never been a thing. What are you talking about? You don't ask are you on the reg you say what are you on your reg That's the way you ask an accusation not a question correct All right, so our other crids of the week

Starting point is 00:57:44 comes in from our boy Adam Thoreau Toy man and fishy is the name of the show and Adam explains that the one guy gets a little horned up and then gets his Come up and from this stand up stand up for a minute stand up for it turn this way We're going to massage the booty Down goes perverts the bottom that even give me shit So that's a cringe of the week. There's a slipper and dig it again Thanks everybody remember that when you hear or see something that's cringe worthy send it into the show so that we can play it as cringe of the week We appreciate that Nick Tucker and him thorough sending some cringes in for us

Starting point is 00:58:42 Also, I want to promote the fact that I fucking fall through with something. No way. It's so kind of good. The Holiday Song parody contest. I said we would make an album and that is available on our YouTube page. Check out the 2023 Holiday Song parody contest video on YouTube. All of the credits are given. And it really is a fantastic album, the way that it came out. Chess listening to it yesterday. Yeah, there's a lot of good stuff.

Starting point is 00:59:12 I saw a lot of people were listening to it, was there repping gifts and having family over and they're like, everybody shut up, we gotta listen to the W-A-T-P song. Shut up, this is the way. Shut up, this is the way. Try to listen to this. Grammy, do I just explain every reference in this song to you because you're not laughing. Let's go now. Chess Zuma, I can just the grandma. Yeah, I'm trying to listen to this. Grandma, do I have to explain every reference in this song to you? Because you're not laughing.

Starting point is 00:59:25 Let's go. Chad Zuma. Is this loser? We break it down for you. So anyway, check that out. That is out there. And I'm really happy with how all that came out. And I really appreciate all the people who contribute to that.

Starting point is 00:59:40 Obviously, our winner, Ben Hilton, who has three songs on that album. And they're all fantastic. The more I listen to it, the more, and I didn't vote for it, number one at the time, but that Bruce Springsteen is really John will turn your bed sheets to brown is. That was my favorite too. Yeah, that is a good one. That intro, he's just like, is that Betty? That intro, he's just like, is that Betty? That's not what I was saying. That's great. All right. Speaking of turning things to shits,

Starting point is 01:00:09 you know, it's no different than, you know, police officer running to the scene of a crime or a firefighter running into a burning building. It's what I do. I'm here. Tom Myers does a show called Tom Myers versus the rest of the world. And it's really good stuff.

Starting point is 01:00:26 He writes a monologue for every single episode. You know, I hate this kind of. And it's great Andy because he talks about what's going on in politics here in the US. Some of the Andy fouls very closely. So he understands all the players that are involved in this. And now Andy, I was being facetious. You obviously don't file politics are that closely. I don't blame you for that. It's a waste of everybody's time. But you do know

Starting point is 01:00:49 that our current president is old, right? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. You know that. Sometimes I think that's all I know about politics. Joe Biden is an old guy. And he kind of displays these an old guy from time to time. So this is back on November 30th, after the Thanksgiving break because that's the most recent episode of this. And we got some really good Biden as old jokes to start the show off. Hello, and welcome to Tom Myers versus the rest of the world. Joe Biden celebrated his 81st birthday. He made several jokes about his age. Of course, he had to clean them up a bit for the White House press score. So as a result, he didn't tell dad jokes, but great granddad jokes. And that's the only dad joke.

Starting point is 01:01:29 I'm telling this whole season promise. That was a meta dad joke because time declared that that was a dad joke about a dad joke. You don't even press it was horrible. You don't look as impressed as that you should be. Honestly for time, Myers, that was pretty good. Oh my God. Oh my God. I mean, I'm not giving him any oxygen for anything that he does, but I mean, at least I got it. Okay.

Starting point is 01:01:58 In that speech, I remember when this happened because this made big news, big headlines around the world. I mean, obviously we have a war going on in Europe. There's another one in the middle east. And the big news was Biden didn't know the difference between Britney Spears and Taylor Swift. He commented about a concert down in Brazil. And he said, Britney, it's pretty bitch. I think it's what he said.

Starting point is 01:02:20 And I was like, when all of the Taylor Swift's concert where someone died waiting in line for the, but anyway, Tom Myers Got a great joke for this. Biden's age became a bit of an issue online when during the annual Thanksgiving turkey pardoning he confused Britney Spears with Taylor Swift. I'm only 40, but I find that easy to do as I've masturbated to both. I figure that makes up for the one dad joke that I'll do wall season. I'm called back. So you can use girls you jerk off to easily.

Starting point is 01:02:56 Is that a thing? Well, he doesn't get laid. He jerks off everybody. Yeah, I know it's sad. And that's why I'm like, I don't even get why that's. All right. That's exactly why he confused this Brittany with Carl. Yeah. Okay. I get it. I guess all right. Let's let's talk about Argentina just elected a libertarian president

Starting point is 01:03:16 which obviously Tom refers to his far right and this is his joke for that. Argentina elected Javier Malay, a far right candidate as its president. If you've never seen Javier Malay and you want to know what he looks like, just imagine Johnny Cash and Ted Nugent had a baby and then laced its formula with PCP. That's pretty cool. All right. You guys following that? So we got we got Johnny Cash and Ted Nugent

Starting point is 01:03:48 and they lace the formula with PCP. This is what it looks like. The dude from the match game with the gay guy from the what's that guy's I don't know about that. Why can I never think of his name? I watched the best game all the time. I know it's the other one.

Starting point is 01:04:04 I mean, that's who that looks looks like so yeah, I move in Argentina That's like the dumbest joke to you're like this guy looks like this guy and that guy if they were doing this thing Yeah, you could do that for anything any time. It's never funny especially this time. It did not work At all All right, let's get into more ejaculation jokes That's you that's what we all want to hear. That's why we come to Todd Myers. Malay wants to scribe himself as a tantric sex instructor who once went three months without

Starting point is 01:04:34 ejaculating. That's nothing. This country can do better. If you believe Stormy Daniels, Trump has it ejaculated since conceiving Baronon. And even then a turkey baster was involved. For legal reasons, I have to say that's not true to the best of my knowledge. I'm just glad the effect is back. Oh, you know what's funny Daniels? She'll even tell you she will. She'll even tell you she will. That's what I mean, like a chums.

Starting point is 01:05:06 So that last thing wasn't even a joke. And these people are so trained to just laugh at everything that Tom says. Yeah. And just for legal reason, I have to say that I don't know that's true. What? That might have been a joke. Maybe it was. Maybe that wasn't joke.

Starting point is 01:05:22 And I just don't get Tom such a humor. Maybe that's what it is. Maybe I'm the only one who's not getting all these. All this time, it's just that you don't get the idiot. Obviously, everybody else is digging this time. I was trained now around this time. There was that car at the rainbow bridge and Niagara Falls that the accelerator wouldn't stop going. They couldn't hit the brakes for whatever reason. This car just went flying Duke's a hazard style into a building and exploded. I mean, aside from people dying, it was very cool. And time has a joke about that. A car exploded on the rainbow bridge at the Canadian border near Niagara Falls. It's almost as if someone said they wanted to go over the falls in a barrel and someone else said, here, hold my mousins and watch this.

Starting point is 01:06:09 Get it? So I, you didn't laugh, but I'll explain it to you because it always makes it funnier. Mousin is a style of beer. They brew in Canada called mousin Canadian, right? Yeah. Okay. So you do know about that. Yeah. So I'm surprised you weren't laughing then because you know typically when you're want to want up someone you go hey hold my beer yeah and then you want up

Starting point is 01:06:29 them hey what's up Ryan come on in buddy our buddy circus medgets in town and is visiting us you can sit with a pretty similar way sets when you get a chance and hang out find some headphones. Let's go to that buddy not too much yeah good to see you being back here in lovely New York. Where are you living now? Austin, Texas. That's what I thought. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:06:50 How's that? Different. Crime ridden. A little bit lately, especially. Yeah. Yeah. This is called catching up with circus medgettes. The best segment we're doing here.

Starting point is 01:06:59 Now, when that story first came out, it was originally reported that there could have been a terrorist plot. Yeah, you remember that. Yeah. They go a car blew up in the rainbow bridge. They shut down all the border crossings. We didn't know what was going on.

Starting point is 01:07:14 Yes. I instantly was like, this is the worst planned terrorist attack ever. What you do is detonate it in the middle of the bridge. Yeah. And then you start shooting people on the bridge. You don't detonate it off to the side before you even get on the bridge. It was clearly you saw right through this whole thing. You know, I guess this is not the thing.

Starting point is 01:07:35 I saw what my plan was at all. I saw what CNN was trying to tell me. Well, according to Tom Myers, Fox was the one who was sharing this bogus news. And I want you to hear the joke he came up with for this. Listen for the word Academy. I wish he would have shoved a few more words into this one. What a minute. Way fun. Investigators said there was no sign of terrorism, but that of course didn't stop Fox from trying to push the theory. It boggles my mind how they can even report these kinds of things with a straight face. Canada is becoming a haven for terrorism.

Starting point is 01:08:08 It starts with us importing Alex Trebek, Jim Carrey and the kids in the hall. That's how they soften us up. Now they're going after our rainbow bridge tomorrow. It's the duty free. I guess that's the joke because he stopped talking. I mean, any of that could have been the end of the punchline right there. Obviously, it would have been a terrorist attack on the LGBTQ community because it was the rainbow. I see what you did. But all of the news, the

Starting point is 01:08:36 24 hour news cycle is they're all running to scoop each other, even if their facts are completely off base. Correct. Yes. But pretty good stuff though from Tom Myers. He mentioned, you know, Canada's been working out of this for decades. All those gradients. Yeah. Can you know that? You guys know I always throw back. It's pretty good stuff.

Starting point is 01:09:01 I wish we would've named a few more examples. Yeah. Is Phenel Castro son. I didn't know that. I wish you would have gained a few more. Yeah. She's been outcast row. Son. I didn't know that. Actually, that's neither here nor there. You're the one that told me that. Are you guys ready for the you? I guess ready for the most obvious joke ever.

Starting point is 01:09:14 I bet you are. Yeah. The Rolling Stones announced they will tour the US next year and that the tour will be sponsored by AARP. In other news, Chris DeLia will go on a tour next year and it will be sponsored by the NationalP. In other news, Chris D'Alia will go on a tour next year, and it will be sponsored by the National Sexual Assault Hotline. Yeah. Get it. Because Chris D'Alia is a bit accused of.

Starting point is 01:09:35 Yeah. Okay. What I'm blah sponsored by Nambla. It's easier to say. Yeah. Tom would have been a better punchline probably a little punchier than the way that you have to go. And Jim love Tom. He's great. What I love about time is when I love about Tom Myers is when you do a monologue, you end on your strongest joke, you get the applause going and then all right, I'm moving on to the next thing. I'm going to be at my desk. We'll do

Starting point is 01:10:00 it wacky stuff. No, Tom decides to use the worst joke he has. It's the biggest stinger and then transition into the show. The new Tesla truck is going to be bulletproof. This is a security measure doing part that someone may see Elon Musk driving one. And on that note, on the show, please draw me a welcoming Jeff Heisen and Gina Brown. Oh, yeah. John. Welcome back. Yeah. That's the other thing too.

Starting point is 01:10:27 I'm finally realizing what he's doing wrong with these introductions. He's treating it like it's a standup show. So he's going, all right. And now bring it up next. We got Jeff Heisen. You're like, there's no audience here. It's just a show you're doing. But I just happy in a plus.

Starting point is 01:10:40 They're pointed themselves. They're pointing themselves. Everybody loose your tight box, everyone. What's here? I like it. I like it. They're pointing themselves. Yeah. Everybody lose your tight box. Everyone. Let's hear. I like that. I like it. I like it. I know one of those cans. Yeah. So Jeff comes in and he takes a giant swag. He's like, okay, not my turn to talk. I got something for you. And this is again, just a lot of words. And he thinks it's going to land with this big punchline. And it gets nothing and deservedly so.

Starting point is 01:11:09 Well, Tom, I want to perform a public service for listeners of this podcast, for the second straight here. Oh, what did I do now? Well, because undoubtedly, there is a great overlap between the number of listeners between Tom Myers versus the rest of the world and HBO's The Gilded Age. The Gilded Age has an official podcast, which is hosted by Tom Myers. So folks, that is not this Tom Myers. They are spelled differently and the subject matter of these shows is different.

Starting point is 01:11:49 Tell him you've been waiting to crack out that gym. So because there's another guy named Tom Myers, I'm, there's probably a bunch of people named Tom Myers in the world I would imagine, who also hosts a podcast. Jeff Heisen's like, you guys don't believe this. There's another show hosted by Tom Myers. like, you guys don't believe this. There's another show. Hosted by Tom Mars. Now, different Tom Mars, even spelled differently. Great joke. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:12:10 Good stuff there. Thanks for that. There's also another age called the Gilded Age. It was all very confused. It's all very confused. All right. So Tom's talking about his family got together for Thanksgiving. And I don't know if you know this. Tom's talking about his family got together for Thanksgiving. And I don't know if you know this, Tom's family is white. Don't hold that against him. Tom already does. But he was very proud of them, this Thanksgiving. I found it interesting.

Starting point is 01:12:35 I was getting together with my family. Of course, you know, I was raised in a pretty somewhat suburban area of the state of Maryland. We're like a somewhat slowly like reddening dot in the great in the great blue wave that is that is the state of Maryland. But I noticed that in our large family gathering that we had, it was a table full of white people and not one of them had a positive thing to say about Donald Trump. So I was quite taken back by that. I'm going to make an observation. First off, not all white people like Donald Trump.

Starting point is 01:13:15 I don't know if you know that. I've been a ton of white people who don't like Donald Trump. That is a thing that exists in the world. Secondly, I can imagine that if you're in Tom Myers family, you don't want to bring up politics at all. Because this asshole then start talking about politics. Right. And fuck that noise. I can imagine Tom's just like, so anyone here voting for Trump is like, no, Tom, no one's voting for Trump. The weather's nice today. Did you guys catch the ballgame? Yeah, Ravens look good this year. Yeah. You guys think I assume you were sitting at the kids table.

Starting point is 01:13:44 Yeah Ravens look good this year you guys think I assume you were sitting at the kids table No, Tom no one's bringing up Trump he's boring That talk Pokemon What's where he got his start like his family somebody in his family convinced him that he was funny and he started to Wow, you know actually I'm gonna show you where he got to start because he going to go back and talk about his family dynamics and we're going to learn why Tom is such a Democrat. He is a liberal Democrat and that's all he ever talked about and I think this is probably why. And the weird thing is is that my dad has been like Mr. Republican since like I have known him. I was like nixon for Reagan all the way up through Romney and then I always were belllling against his dad.

Starting point is 01:14:25 Oh, it's time's origin. See, my dad listened to classical music and opera, and I played in a punk rock band. So I understand this. I got to take that. Fuck you, dad. You're fucking dead. I'm gonna fucking for Clinton. Not this out.

Starting point is 01:14:37 When Trump ran for office, and then during his term, when he started saying native things about the military, my dad was a combat veteran and served for, uh, is on and off in the service for 30 years. That's kind of what, what turned him off to Trump. I don't necessarily know that my dad's progressive, but he's, he's like me, the only thing that's, uh, uh, progressing with him's progressing with him is our aches and pains that we have as we get older, but I was like, you know, dad's kind of he's he's softening his shell. We'll take it. We'll take it. I'm glad he worked some comedy into that. When? That's you know, progressing, Joe. Okay, I got it. I got it. He's not progressive, but we're progressively getting more sore in our joys.

Starting point is 01:15:28 He gets no less painful to listen to. It's always the same. And I always love it. I don't know why that is. I got one more for you. He's going to come out with a gem of a protest joke. Now this is before this happened, but I don't know if you guys saw this or before Christmas. I think it was Christmas Eve.

Starting point is 01:15:45 Maybe the day before that, the pro-Palestinian protesters decided to block the entrance to O'Hare Airport in Chicago. And that's a dick move. That's not gonna win anyone over for your cause if like, oh, now Christmas is ruined for me and my family. Thanks protesters. I had so much to do with Israel's response. So thank ruined for me and my family. Thanks, protesters. I had so much to do

Starting point is 01:16:09 with Israel's response. So thank you for fucking up my life. My Christmas. Thank you. Yeah, great. So anyway, this is actually kind of relevant based on that just happening. In my younger days, I was quick to take to the streets and protests whenever I saw something going on that was unjust and needed to be rectified by a petition for the redress of a grievance. As I get older though, I find it more difficult for me to engage. In fact, the last time I stopped traffic and caused a scene, it wasn't a protest. My girlfriend and I simply decided not to pull into an empty parking lot before she gave me a hand job in her open convertible. Nobody would touch his dick. No, what's ever touch a dick? That's the big.

Starting point is 01:16:50 That's a fictional girlfriend. I could you imagine writing that joke down and going, yeah, I'll probably say this on my next podcast. That one worked. That one worked. That one works. I just couldn't believe where that got to. You've done it again, Myers.

Starting point is 01:17:05 I'll give it to himself. Is the convertible part of it, even that necessary on this one. He's painting a picture. Yeah, he's painting a picture of his dick. I don't need to know about that. It's quite disturbing. I know a lot more about his card than I do his dick right now. I don't know.

Starting point is 01:17:23 Yeah, just saying. No one knows anything about his dick than I do is dick right now. I don't know. Yeah. Just saying no one knows anything about his dick. So you're not alone in that the car's fake. The girlfriend's fake. Tall fake dick is fake. His erection is fake. I want to bring up what what was going on. So Kevin Brennan did a show on Christmas day. That's what people who have like, that's what people that can interact with another human being do. Yeah, they got YouTube on Christmas day.

Starting point is 01:17:54 So then I'm boxing day, the day after Christmas day. He's hoping to have Chad Zuma come on a show. So Chad's got the link and he's waiting for Chad to hop on the show. But I hope he's available. But Chad's out there right away. So then Kevin, you know, it's just him and Adam and he's like, what are we going to do? Maybe we can snipe Opie. That might be fun. So this is Kevin attempting to snipe Opie. Kevin can't do this. He has no idea how to make this entertaining.

Starting point is 01:18:28 He does this the same way the Chad Zumaq does it. Where he just sits there and just watches the show. He's got this look on his face. If he's even paying attention. Yeah. If he's even paying attention. So what I decided to do here is this is a longer clip. But I waited until Kevin said something, just a word.

Starting point is 01:18:46 I just wanted him to say a word while he's watching open because the whole point of sniping is transforming, and you're trying to comment on what you're seeing and why it sucks. Trying to start a fight with who this time, Kevin? What's his face? Matthew Perry. Alright, so now they pulled up.

Starting point is 01:19:08 We did a podcast with Leah Abamonte, right? Yeah, and he's the youngest guy to hit every fucking country in the world. And he and Jeff is really funny, man. As you said now, I never seen someone who could use a drug habit more than I did. But we're convinced that if you're traveling that much, you've got to be CIA. You've got missions all over because like, we have a friend and he comes to New York. And old son in like, you know, he's supposed to be in New York City for a long weekend. And old son, he's like, I got to go, leaves all the shit behind.

Starting point is 01:19:44 It's still in our closet. And I'll say, I gotta go, leaves all shit behind. It's still in our closet. And he just goes. And we're not getting into more specifics. So, you know, next thing you know, he's like on a professional hockey team in Australia. Like, guys, we're a minute into this clip. So far, all that's happened is Kevin did a fake laugh about something that was stupid on OP show. Again, very chit, Zumaq ask. And is just kind of watching this show, not really sure. Sippin' his coffee. What to say about it?

Starting point is 01:20:10 So, all right, I'm gonna see the keep letting it play. Looking down at their phones. Is going off. Well, he's now in order to send his shit. Right. Well, he's, yeah, without giving away. We know him very well, but he never told us what he did. He was a traveler and if I was a betting man, I would say he's absolutely

Starting point is 01:20:27 Absolutely that makes lessons absolutely Books about the CIA guys they just have random friends and random places that they know Quaid did just have a beer at dinner. Yeah, I stopped seeing a few and then just and most CIA guys You will never know they were in the CIA ever because that's the code too. You don't talk about it ever even after your retirement So I mean this is hard for me to sit here and watch. Open it. Not coming on it. But I'm just waiting for Kevin to do something. I forgot anything. I was even there. I'm like, right. Focus on how to open up. Stupid. Opie sound. Yeah, I was like watching. Watching. When did that happen? No, we clip. Yeah. I'm pretty convinced. And now he's just kind

Starting point is 01:21:02 of hanging on. Felly. Like, wait, what's going on, man? What happened to all your, all the trips, the trips have done now. And what do you mean? I will point out that, you know, OP brings up the random chat nonstop throughout the show. Every single chat he's brought up the last five or six have been referring to Kevin Brennan's sniping him.

Starting point is 01:21:20 So it's all people who are going over to their show because Kevin's now sniping him. Because I was watching this in real time Opium 35 live viewers It's just a pathetic number of viewers that I know you look sad for open I get it. I get it. It's pathetic So just the fact that he's not doing anything with the fact that he's sniping is least adding something to OP show and I had to come It's show it's detracting from Kevin show, but at least adding something to OP show and I had to come and show it's detracting from Kevin show and at least adding though.

Starting point is 01:21:45 I thought he liked traveling. So I don't know. Crazy shit. Damn. Yeah, but why? Like what was two minutes in? I also need to decide I needed to travel the world. I never come real proper interview.

Starting point is 01:22:00 What were you doing when he started? So that was Adam. Adam finally feels like we should do something. Hey, Adam, I saw it for you. Somebody should see something. All right right Kevin still is not something I started I don't want to say profession but hard I eight years ago All right, but besides that I never I never been on a plane until cancun and I

Starting point is 01:22:15 Never tried to anywhere my life I went to first trip was a allie's Kevin Brennan went to like Iceland and allies You went to Iceland? So that was the first time he spoke. I don't even know what he was talking about. Ollie's, I don't know, maybe he was reading a chat or something. He just did not do a good job of interacting with that whatsoever, because the point was to have Chad Zumaqon and Ripon Chad Zumaq to his face and Chad didn't show up.

Starting point is 01:22:43 Chad had an interesting day on Christmas. I don't I don't communicate with Chad all that often as you guys probably know. Really? But I think it an email from him on Christmas day. Oh my God. Yeah. So so random. So Christmas day I look into my email and I see no subject line.

Starting point is 01:23:01 And it just says the Browns will win the wild card. The bills will fail again. Mary Christmas. So he's getting drunk and he's mad. It's a fuck Carl and they're on the ghost of career future. And then I found out because I'm texting with Tuky that he was also messaging Tuky at Christmas Day 2. So Chan is just alone in his shitty apartment by himself depressed. He's got nothing going out in life and sending out messages to people. He tried to talk. He tried to fuck with people.

Starting point is 01:23:32 And I responded, I go, yeah, the bills are going to let me down. I know that already. I've been a bill spent a long time. I love these things. He's going to get me with that. I'm tearing you. And just so you know, Chad, they might both make a wild card. It's very possible. They're both in the wild card You never know so drunk. You forgot a subject line He never put the subject line in I don't know why it's calling card Yeah, I guess that's that's his thing for some reason. Okay, so this goes on for another minute or so And I just want to take you to the end of where Kevin decides to stop sniping O.B. I speak it.

Starting point is 01:24:08 So, Cassie, do I get props for speaking it? Wait, what are you... What can you say? What's the go? Okay, I can't. I can't. Give me a wrap. No wrap.

Starting point is 01:24:17 I can't. I can't. We know. You didn't do anything. I can't. I mean, run the waiter's not even there. I can't I mean run the waiters not even there. I Can I try? He literally can't he's acting like I just can't today, but no you literally can't do it

Starting point is 01:24:34 You don't know how to do this. Kevin. This isn't the thing you do you read superchance That's what you do you can't respond and react to clips you're terrible Yeah, he's trying to act like it's opi's fault right Right. He had nothing to say about it. Yeah. But he also said that he tried. I try. I can't. He did nothing. And it's people think that this is really easy. I hear it all the time. You know, Opie likes to say that what we do is super easy. But you see Chad Kevin Bryan and Suddering John. None of them can turn any of this into transformative content. They all end up just watching the clips, though. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:25:07 And then like, either repeating what the person said. Certainly, like, voice. Not live on the spot. It's much harder. Very hard. Yes. At least this, we can watch and like think of something to say and bring it to the show.

Starting point is 01:25:20 Yeah. Trying to like jump in live and get in the mix and make it entertaining. I mean, Kevin Brenner's a funny guy even he can't do it. Right. It's very hard to do, but it's very easy to do because there's no prep involved. You just who's live right now? Oh, Opie is. Let's watch this. Oh, it's lazy. It's lazy. It's like the lazy thing. So when we actually prep a show and we have clips and there's reasons to talk about and we have a narrative.

Starting point is 01:25:44 There's a story going on around these clips, we're talking about Chad Ebellinger, he's a loser. I have to find a show about shitting on the floor, fail to send the clips properly, then redo it. You know how hard that is? There's a lot of work involved in this. So the reason why I bring this up

Starting point is 01:25:58 is because for whatever reason, Kevin decided to DM me a couple of days before Christmas. And he was showing me screen grabs of how many live viewers there were on Shuley's show. And there were 1,500 on one show, and then 1,200 on one that I was on. And so his whole thing was like, oh, it's like you have fewer viewers

Starting point is 01:26:18 when you're on the show than another time. And Kevin's whole thing has been for months now that Shuley buys views. So I said him back back and no and I explained to him that when you're dealing with such small sample sizes Statistically, there's gonna be pretty large fluctuations. It has to be you're not gonna 1428 every fucking time I know I had to take my kids to soccer. Yeah, sorry Whatever, but his whole thing is that he's got this premise where he thinks that they're buying viewers. And I guess he wanted to prove that to me or show me I wasn't going to broadcast him because I wrote back and I explained that to him. And then I wrote and this was on Christmas day,

Starting point is 01:26:53 I wrote this to him. And I said, by the way, Mary Christmas. So he responded to me. And he made fun of my broadcasting ability. So I'm going to put that portion of our DMs up on the screen as we watch Kevin Brennan after that abortion of a segment in Opie. Watch this dead air. So it's not for everybody. So it says, got it. Keep churning out the SJ content.

Starting point is 01:27:22 You must be proud as a broadcaster. Kevin, you're staring down at your phone. Adam is staring at the chat or something. But I need to be busy texting you this live on the air on the show. There's no super chats coming in. There's nothing happening. I am not manipulating this in any way. I heard back from Chad. I see my heard back from Chad. We got to get something going. There's nothing going on. This is sad. This is pathetic.

Starting point is 01:27:50 I put that in. This is bad. This is very bad. What are you doing, God? Are you in beers? I guess I'll say something. show, but it's a very show, but he's really good. All right, I don't know what we're going to do today. I can't, I don't really have it in me to snipe and uh, yeah, obviously. So I can't, I try Zuma

Starting point is 01:28:19 I didn't show up. So now they don't know what to do. So this is what they come up with as far as what to do on the show. Um, the carpet bomb link. Yeah, send, send, send, send, send,

Starting point is 01:28:33 send, send, send, send, send, send, send, send, send, send, send,

Starting point is 01:28:41 send, send, send, send, send, send, send, send, send, send, send, send, send, send, send, send, send,

Starting point is 01:28:49 send, send, send, send, I'm even confused. So uh carpet, bomb the link, send it out to everyone. We got to get somebody on the show. They're so desperate. They don't know what they're going to do. Chad didn't show up. So now they don't know what to do. So they send it out to everyone.

Starting point is 01:28:56 Now if there's one thing I know about Stuttering Jen, it's that he'll never go on MLC ever again. He has stated this many times. He's very upset with Kevin Brennan. And there's no way he would do that show, even though he wanted to get Bob Spon on there as the second Mike, he then decided that no, Kevin Brennan's a piece of shit. He'll never, ever do that show. He'll never show up on that show. And then this happens after he gets the way. Oh, we got a special guest. What the fuck? What's up, John?

Starting point is 01:29:25 What is it? Is this a fake, uh, stuttering, John? You just want to say Merry Christmas to you both. Merry Christmas. Then a happy new year. I hope you all have. John, how can you be mad at me? I don't want you to show, but people are saying you're mad at me.

Starting point is 01:29:43 How can you be mad at me? I don't do your show, but people are saying, you're a man of me. How can you be a man of me? I don't do anything to you. And people are basically paying their rent and mortgages off of you. And I don't make a dime while for you. What? Is it true? Are you stuttering, John? Less I check.

Starting point is 01:29:59 Okay, so I don't make any money off of you. Carl and Julie and Bob pay their rent based off of your content. But you have a problem with me. How is that possible? What did I do? What's he doing? Oh, what did you do? Well, I'll tell you what you did.

Starting point is 01:30:16 Okay. Thank God. Because he's going to come on here after he's been talking all this shit about Kevin Brennan for months. And Kevin was like, oh, you showed up. He sent you the link and you actually showed up. What's your problem with me and John's just like I have a problem with oh Yeah, I do a problem with you, so you know what he's gonna do next He's gonna go off on Kevin for not paying him the hundred dollars the Kevin owes him for sniping Shuley

Starting point is 01:30:39 Remember he even drove home from the pub in order to do that and Kevin never paid him or or or he's gonna He's gonna tell him off for only giving me a hundred dollars the last time he made an appearance on MLC Because if you guys remember that's the money when he wipes his ass with yeah, yeah is $100 and John went off on Kevin for weeks about only getting a hundred dollars now insulting that was and he's worth so much more than or no hold on a second That's right John hates Kevin Brennan and Adam Hinnaker who's going off on them for the way they were bullying Kate Meeney. And he was so upset on Kate Meeney's behalf that he's definitely going to really lay into them for what they said to Kate Meeney the way they treated her on there.

Starting point is 01:31:17 Let's see what John decides to go after them about. You lost an argument to me about how you have to have a standup special to be a real comedian and you said to me name one real comic that doesn't have a comedy special nice so okay Jay Leno okay okay so okay so you didn't know Tasha's multiple specials we talking about why does he think they know Tasha's never stayed up special? So that's what John was all upset about is that Kevin sent out a tweet saying, you don't have a special, you're not a real comedian.

Starting point is 01:31:53 John doesn't have a special, so he took, you know, he was upset with that and he goes, Jaylen don't doesn't have one. So there you go. So that's why John was upset because he wanted to argue him against Kevin Brennan. Not all the other things he's been upset about, fake upset about with Kevin Brennan these past months. Well, I'm glad now they can finally squash it, right? Right.

Starting point is 01:32:12 And this is where John starts kissing Kevin's ass. The guy that he's been going off on, not stop. Like he really hates Kevin Brennan. Going after Adam, they're all pieces of shit. And all of a sudden, John loves Kevin again. And for, you know, as far as you go, you know, that it is, it's been a lot of fun. It's been a lot of real quick.

Starting point is 01:32:31 When you were saying they were gonna carpet by the link, see who showed up. Stevie, you know, I was gonna say, I was gonna cast Stevie, you know. So, we were showing some nice surprise. I was surprised. And for, you know, as far as you go, you know, that any Vince lawyer asked me,

Starting point is 01:32:47 who would you say besides your own show has the best shows? And I said Kevin Brennan show, MLC, and then I said, and then I said, a fucking fatty panties. So the whole lot of second, every time we brought up to John, the Patrick Meltman after his kids, more than anyone else, John goes, I don't know who that is, I don't know where his show is.

Starting point is 01:33:10 I wouldn't even know where to find that. Patrick, who, what are you talking about? Now he's saying his favorite shows. Our misery loves company. A show that he says he's never going to ever get, he doesn't watch. And Patrick Meltman's nobody likes onions. It's a Christmas miracle. It sounds like he's a liar.

Starting point is 01:33:26 I think I could take him seriously anyway. Oh, those were the three shows I say were the best shows. So I don't know what you get in all this, you know, that I hate you. I don't like, I don't know what you get in that from you. Don't. Well, I mean, you have me blocked everywhere. And, and anytime I say anything, listen, I don't know. I don't, I can't watch every show, but people are saying the most entertaining out of, I mean, like the, the fucking shit where you're is so bad.

Starting point is 01:33:52 See, these people have no credibility because John's been on his show talking about what he hates Kevin Brennan, how unfunny is now bad this show is for months now. And then as soon as he gets the link, he's right back to kissing Kevin's ass. You're the best. You're killing it. Dude, he's lonely and to kissing Kevin's ass. You're the best. You're killing it. Dude, he's lonely and miserable on Christmas. Well, I mean, John's actually with families in his mom's house right here. He'd already done a podcast.

Starting point is 01:34:13 Mom, it seems pretty quiet there. He's already done a podcast, this day. And hop sign. He started drinking at one because he was doing his podcast at one o'clock in the afternoon and drinking. And now it's five o'clock and he's on with Kevin Brennan. Hey, I was drinking it one in Christmas. This is the aftercrass house.

Starting point is 01:34:30 Oh, it is not Christmas day. Oh, it's a normal schedule. Even more. And that's the Tuesday. Oh, I know. That's what I'm trying to tell you. All of this is a wildly pathetic. It's crazy.

Starting point is 01:34:43 All right. But John brings it. That's the one thing about, but John brings it. That's the one thing about starting to get a guest. You have to remember is that yeah, you can say, John's not going to the show and lately the show is just turning into him yelling about the shit where lady came are and it gets old and repetitive. But when John wants to roast someone remember he always says he can look

Starting point is 01:35:02 someone up and down and he'll have five jokes ready to go. he looks over at Stevie Lewin he goes oh I got this motherfucker and a girl looks like he borrowed freaking Carl Hamburg is shared from his fucking problem is ever the Carl Hamburg lady came on I do look like I should have to came on with panel behind the way to do it I don't know where I don't know if you thought everyone was gonna be like that's amazing would you forget the unwrapped your shirt or something? Fucking idiot pretty good stuff pretty good stuff. That was a good roast joke. So right after that you see that broccoli has a hundred dollar super chat on there. Now Andy, how would you describe the avatar that Brock Lee is using on YouTube? Breakfast at Tiffany's races. Yes. And while the offensive Asian guy with big buck teeth, listen to John's question. These guys, for whatever reason, because everyone's being nice nice, these guys let this go. I would not have let this go. I'm gonna read some super chats.

Starting point is 01:36:06 I'm third. So is broccoli is he Asian or is that just a goat? It's broccoli actually Asian. I hope not. I would think that, Chad. It seems to be a caricature that's pretty offensive to Asian me. Yeah. We're gonna go ahead and say, Unnamed, a pun name in a racist cartoon. Fucking idiot. Speaking of which,

Starting point is 01:36:32 John leaked his DMs recently. He loves to share his screen and shows Twitter DMs on the screen and he's been DMing with Saddle Me. So Saddle Me is like, it's not Ome Asian. Trying to catfish him. Yeah, great.

Starting point is 01:36:49 So sending picks of like this hot 20 year old Asian girl to John and John's. I'm falling for it. Yeah, I know. John's is like, is that really you? Saddle Me? It's not John. It's a guy.

Starting point is 01:36:58 Fucking with you. But the thing that I really wanted to point out here is first off, getting turned down by Ray DeVito to come out of the show. That's always fun. Yeah. But look at this, this message to Kate Meanie on Christmas day. Call me. I've pointed this out before.

Starting point is 01:37:14 That's the most obnoxious message you can send another human being. Call me. You're ordering them to do what you want them to do at that point. No one's going to respond to that positively. John, just see it now. Before I get off Kevin Brennan, so after he had John on his show, and they're all buddies and they're kissing each other's asses, Kevin Brennan said a tweet out,

Starting point is 01:37:37 I was wrong to have said during John on. I should only watch clips of John like the shit layer does. I apologize, and it will never happen again. So what about your opi bit? You should apologize for the opi bet, too, if we're if we're being honest. Okay, so opi was opi was all this is all that was he was opi was live on Christmas day, right? Also, again, this is boxing day the day after Christmas. Oh, okay, got you. Okay. I was gonna say if I was confused about that. They all did shows on Christmas. This was the day after. It's funny. You're to me if it's actually Christmas. Well, good news. I'm gonna show

Starting point is 01:38:11 you a John show from Christmas. Yeah. So John does this thing for his Patreon subscribers where he'll do some behind the scenes videos. And I don't know about you guys, but if there's a celebrity in my family, the one thing I want them to do is turn on their phone and start filming everything that the whole family is up to The way John does this I would be in rage or some of my family did this yet You might notice that on Christmas day I did no tweeting. I didn't have video that I put out or anything like that I just like a normal person to join the day with my family Right, John has to a I think show off to his family. He's a big celebrity.

Starting point is 01:39:05 So we have to try to engage everyone and get everyone involved in what he's doing. But B, I think the real thing here, he's trying to prove. You guys said, I'll talk to my kids. You guys said, you know, my family loved me. Oh, no. Look at me. I'm here with my family on Christmas Day.

Starting point is 01:39:21 This is so pathetic. Hey, everybody. Merry Christmas from hanging out my brothers now As you can see we got a pile of toys They're all adults there why their pile toys I Merry Christmas why is he putting his mom on this video and he's Encouraging people to draw her and fuck with her? It's just like a bad idea sacrificing his family so he can

Starting point is 01:39:49 For his own Mother is my na a question. Same. Merry Christmas I'm going to join the same Merry Christmas. You said it's all mean. Joyce is a sister. He's yelling across the room. Notice he's like sitting by himself somewhere and everyone else is engaged in conversations and doing things. He's just right now. Oh, yeah, this is me. A Christmas.

Starting point is 01:40:16 I'm killing it. I'm going to lose her. I was going to say everybody's million about it having fun. And then he's literally like interrupting people opening presents. Just screaming at people. Why Christmas is it? We are. You see the thing you get when you're a Patreon member.

Starting point is 01:40:31 Right. Yeah, I'm hanging out with my family and watching some football in my bro Royce, American Christmas. Far away you go. Yeah. Singing about my family in North much people on island and now we just chill in one word Christmas time City side walks City side walks rest in holidays

Starting point is 01:40:58 Such an entertainer. He can't turn it off. He's literally drunk uncle from SNL remember that Bobby money That's what he's that he's one drink away from being in coherent and being that character It man Dan's gonna be here soon I bring any friends over are you? Oh 58 is all close to bring up a drinking body Probably back on tomorrow One word, ma-hambak, only kid. Thanks for joining us. That's my future niece.

Starting point is 01:41:33 That's my future niece. All right. This is America Christmas Kaguya. Wow, dying in my content. Everyone sign up for John's Patreon for exclusive videos like that. And I'm her future late uncle. So that's obviously later in the day on Christmas. What happened earlier in the day when he had his mom's house and they're getting ready for Christmas. You won't believe this. We're going to find out how Stuttering John saved Christmas. It almost

Starting point is 01:42:04 went awry. But thank God John is so smart. He was ready to figure out how Stuttering John saved Christmas. It almost went awry. But thank God John is so smart. He was ready to figure out how they were going to make it work. My system law, Liz is sick. Should I don't have COVID, but you said we used to go with my brothers, but now we can. So me being a cooktaker on my feet, I went into action. All right. What you doing? Nothing. I went into action. I said, okay, I went into action and I said, okay, mom, Joyce, this is what we're gonna do. We're gonna cook the rice chicken. So Joyce, go over to Roy's house, grab the pork. Mom, mom, let's find a pan so we could cook the roast pork. So as my father was an engineer, I engineered all the plays of the action.

Starting point is 01:43:12 And now Joyce is busy cutting, slitting the fat on top. So we have some nice pork alarms, crispy. Joyce, we want him crispy. He's literally doing Will Farrell and wedding crassures. We want the pork now. We want it crispy. I love the fact that he decided because his sister law is second, can't join the family. Okay, cool. Then we're going to come over and take what you were going to make us for dinner.

Starting point is 01:43:41 What are we going to? Yeah. I wonder you'll figure it out. You guys, if I got to- You think I go to the store, you're staying. I guess I've left over. Yeah, it's fine. You were gonna look at this tree, were you, how I'm gonna take that to?

Starting point is 01:43:51 I'm gonna stop a flu, whatever it is. What an asshole. What a giant asshole this guy is. He thought of a plan, and the plan involved him stealing the food from his brother. Notting up quick. I spunk into into action to the house So I played on this show a week or two ago when John was in Ford and hitman Dan was there

Starting point is 01:44:13 And they started singing Rudolph and she for some reason I thought I thought it was so embarrassing These two guys were singing Rudolph and then high-fiving and then I was on YouTube the other day and someone to put it to music And I went oh this is probably a shoe. He's not like the album and then high-fiving. And then I was on YouTube the other day and someone had put it to music. And I went, oh, this is probably a shoe, isn't that what you're talking about? It's the album. And then I realized, John put this out. Okay. He was on John's channel, then singing Rudolph to music. And John couldn't wait to play it for us on here too. Yeah, Jesus. Let me just bring Hitman and I in to sing a little Christmas song. Cardiacy of Eric one. Thanks Eric one.

Starting point is 01:44:53 Tuttering jam. That's what I saw too. Here we go. He plays this whole thing. It doesn't sync up at all. We don't see that they're not singing yet to a tempo. So eventually it gets way off. And John just plays it like it's gonna have pretty sure Eric one was fucking with them when he put music to it. Snowflakes falling at things. But the other thing that John loves to do,

Starting point is 01:45:33 he's got Joyce's sister there as moms there. They're preparing the food. John's not helping at all and he keeps explaining, I can't help him terrible with the kitchen. And but he loves to show off what a big celebrity he is to his family. So when he gets super chats, he lets everyone know about it. Um, 50 big ones. Hey, like that, Joyce. Um, my, and my lawyer friend, Mike, just wish me a Merry Christmas. Thank you, Mike. See,

Starting point is 01:46:00 I'm not a pathetic loser. I just got 50 big ones, Joyce. And my friends, I'm Merry Christmas too. From a lawyer. No, I have to ask the question. Ryan, I'll ask you. Yeah. Are dollars big ones? Is that 50 big ones?

Starting point is 01:46:16 Uh, I would probably say no. Yeah, I don't think so. 50 big ones. Holy shit, you with the lottery? No, I'm a 50 box. Oh, okay. I'm more like 50 large. Yeah okay. More like 50 large. Yeah. Yeah. Like snackers. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:46:28 Big ones. Pretty good stuff there. So this is John. What he does, I Christmas Day, is he orders his family around to do things while he texts with his friends during his show. This is what John's life is. Well, just let's, you know, let's get, you know, let's get over there. Call him stat, mom. And then George will go and get it. Here we go.

Starting point is 01:47:02 So this is what I like. Not the John being performative and trying to do things that we're going to clip, like chucking beers across the room or that kind of shit. It's the real life, John, that he can't keep up the facade all the time. So every now and again, you see him ordering people around and telling people what to do. I mean, we've seen this a lot with since he's been acting as mom's house, yelling at his mom to unplug phones and do all these different things

Starting point is 01:47:26 and then he blames everyone else but him. You got my mom right in the round. Like you have your mom right here, right? John. And as you know, John has been talking about the trolls calling his mom on Christmas morning, early in the morning.

Starting point is 01:47:41 He's been talking about it for months. So what do you think's gonna happen? The fact that John keeps putting this out into the world. What do you think's gonna happen to his mom on Christmas? Did they call you this morning? Yeah. 230? 230.

Starting point is 01:47:54 Yeah, I do. 230 and 430. They call my mother. Mark, can I say your age? I do. I'm 86. 86. And they call it a 230 and 430. What What the heck man? So she was up already. What were the

Starting point is 01:48:09 chances that was gonna happen? I don't know 100% to self-fulfilling prophecy. You do it. You idiot. You kept saying that that bothers you over and over again. People want to fuck with you. So that's why that happened. Idiots. Can you say anybody forgot. I react really poorly when you do this. I get very upset. But it's probably my 86 year old mom who I put out video all the time, but I screened. John is a grease fire. Get the fire extinguisher. I'm live right now.

Starting point is 01:48:36 Why don't you guys to do it? Handling. Joyce can do it. All right. So now John is talking about KC Armstrong, everybody KC and John's talking to KC directly. Or is he talking to himself? It's hard to tell. You have no girlfriend, no wife, no anything, no money, no career. You have a scam of the business with that radio thing. You don't know it. Brian Leader, they got to use it too,

Starting point is 01:49:09 when he told me all the nefarious things you did. So, if I were you case, I'd shut the fuck up. Sorry, mom. This mom's on the phone. You can hear it in the background, chanting on the phone. You can hear in the background chatting on the phone and he's screaming into his computer for KCR for to shut the fuck up. You're talking to KCR for cause I watch it you. And I love though that he goes you don't have a wife.

Starting point is 01:49:36 You don't have a girlfriend. You don't have a job or career or money. You run in scams. Yes, all the things that John is actively participating in. He's trying to get him. and scams. All the things that John is actively participating in. He's trying to get him. He's trying to get him. He's trying to get him.

Starting point is 01:49:48 That's that narcissism thing that keeps proper. It's ugly head up. That's John. You can't see it. He could not see that he's describing himself and that he's a pathetic loser, which is why we love him so much.

Starting point is 01:49:59 All right. John's going to come up with a hilarious joke. And what I like about John's jokes is when he comes up with them off the cuff and you can tell he's reacting to his environment and coming up with quick hitters. As we saw, his mom is on the phone with someone else. You might have noticed that his mom was having a conversation. It sounded like there were two women talking back and forth. That's got a good one for this. Who's she talking to, Joyce? Oh, no. OK, I leave. Oh, lady. Two old ladies get on the phone.

Starting point is 01:50:37 The first lady says what? The second lady says what? Yeah. The first lady says what? The second lady says what? Yeah. First lady says what? The second lady says what? And that continues for five minutes. Get you guys in see that comment, huh? Pretty good front slide. And then that continues for five minutes. Meanwhile,

Starting point is 01:50:58 you hear his mom having a conversation in the background, pretty good joke, though. Got relate to that. God, what a burden. I know. House. Yeah, I know. He turns everything into the Southern John show. How would you to talk about this? He would complain, the hallways are always the Southern

Starting point is 01:51:14 John show. John's always putting on a show out there. John just answer the phones. John, just sit there and shut the fuck up or put in your ear buds and go in a different room. Why does this always have to be? You're the center of attention. There's other rooms in this house. You doesn't need to be out there actively bothering everyone all the time. But this is how he explains to Joyce how she needs to cook the food

Starting point is 01:51:36 in order for the dinner to work. Just thank Joyce. Look, we have all those room. If we get those all those wrong. If we get those, we get the pork lines crispy to my liking, then we, we shall have a very, very, very nice dinner. I can't believe you called him a narcissist. He goes, that there's going to be great if it's to my liking. I don't know what the problem is here. Who would agree with that? Okay. So then we get to the part where Vince the lawyer is sending pizza to a house. Because of course he is. John has some really dumb questions on this one. But this is so typical John. So the pizzas followed him from Canoga Park to Cape Coral to now long Island. Who? from Kenoga Park to Cape Coral to now Long Island. Who? I need to have that. Yeah, who I think.

Starting point is 01:52:27 Well, what time did I get home, Mom? What time did I get home, Mom? Is the question a 58 year old just asked this mother? When did you let me stay out till last night? You should know what time you got home with your blackout drug. Found you at the doorstep The good straight cat

Starting point is 01:52:52 Does that that smuck Does that smuck ordering food because he's got to make it about him. Vince the narcissist Narcacistic lawyer. Yeah, who's the fuck? Somebody wanted to do all the editing. You know what it is? Nah, just ask if they paid for it. Did they paid for it? Somebody could order. You'll take one of those clothes.

Starting point is 01:53:14 But did they pay for it, mom? No. As long as they paid for it. Oh, okay. Okay. Okay, thank you. If they paid for it, take it. Okay.

Starting point is 01:53:24 I can pay for it. Take it. I know. I know. No, I do not. Is it from papalados abdominals? Yeah. No, that's crap. You can just try to straighten the top straight and trash. So I love that John thinks it's Christmas day. He's like, is it that mom and pop place down the street? Yeah, they're closed. Yeah, they're not open. I Christmas day. If it's a pizza's getting over to your house, it's dominoes. I'm surprised to. I'm surprised too. So sucks to work there. I'm surprised that he hasn't bragged to his mom about how this is happening.

Starting point is 01:54:06 Yeah, it's free. He doesn't know the stick. Well, also all the sudden John is so discerning about food. This is a guy who eats bologna sandwiches before he starts his show and is still chewing for the engee that he needs. And now all the sudden he's saying throw out the dominoes. We don't need that garbage.

Starting point is 01:54:23 He's a big timing everyone again. Is a painful is a painful. I don't know what's 30 bucks. Should we just get it there? What the fuck a difference on this? But yeah, my buddy Jackie Marlow who sent me this episode because it's been taken down as was the one yesterday that he did has been taken down. And there's a lot of good stuff that happened yesterday. I know that Uncle Rico covered it, but we'll probably cover some of the stuff because it's very funny. But he pointed out, it's just like,

Starting point is 01:54:51 John constantly doesn't understand how life works on all of this. That's why Vince the lawyer keeps fucking with them. Yeah. Because he's so easy to fuck with. I want to know the moment where John realizes that he shouldn't have posted this and takes it down. Well, where's the, where's the moment of clarity where he's just like, I probably wasn't a good thing to

Starting point is 01:55:12 put that out. I put this up on our chat screen here. Roach, he says, so in today's episode on John show, he sent his mom out to a COVID tests. Oh, and he docs to address and put her phone number while delivery driver did. John can't help but docs people. Yeah, and he docs to address and put her phone number while delivery driver did. John can't help but docs people. Yeah, John showed up on the show today. I was watching a little bit and he sick as a dog. And he's like, don't worry. It's not COVID. I just want to point this out because John's an idiot. Sometimes you don't test positive on the first day. And then you test positive the second day. So maybe it is COVID. Maybe you're hungover. I don't know. I don't know.

Starting point is 01:55:45 I don't know what the deal is. But John was all sick and apparently doxxed his mobs. Add dressed in full. No, no, no, no. Unbelievable. God, poor woman. Such a plastic, plastic, John. Well, this is classic John right here.

Starting point is 01:55:57 This is the real John behind the scenes. This is the insufferable John that this family has to deal with. My head as a fellow has such a famous son like yours, John? I didn't hear you. How does a phil to have such a successful famous son like myself? It feels wonderful. That's right. It's right.

Starting point is 01:56:21 That look defeat. Oh, what a douche. How's it feel? That's such a famous successful son. Well, 30 years ago, we were really proud of you. Yeah. We were over cheap for 30 years ago. Now it's exactly what I thought it was going to be. I don't know how does it feel to have such a patient-doting mother. You should be thanking her every day for how she treats you because you are insufferable as a human being I have one more clip on here because someone posts in there. Hey your mom's there get her over here I want to ask her if she owns the house to keep coral or if you do and

Starting point is 01:56:55 So John says all right, I'll ask I'll ask her and this is some funny information comes out My is my house mine and keep coral And this is some funny information comes out. My is my house mine and Cape Coral. Of course it is. Thank you. There you go. Is my house mine in Cape Coral? So she did co-signed for us.

Starting point is 01:57:13 And he explains. There you go, North Khalifa. I use her name for her credit because she's got good credit. I don't mind getting better, Ma. Oh, good. Yeah, soon I'll put a bad put in my man. I remember my house. It's getting better, ma. Oh, good. Yeah, soon I'll put a bit of a bit of my man. Top 500. Mine 66.

Starting point is 01:57:40 You have to put it in my name. See, my credit gets better. 66. That's not good. The number of's 66. That's not good. The number of the beast. That's not a good credit score. God. Okay, I was wondering. I know how bad I want that China cabinet

Starting point is 01:57:54 to do a green screen just fall on him. Yeah. Wow. I don't know if you overheard that, but his mom was saying, I would never buy a house in Florida. So this fucking guy is making her cosign for how she doesn't want anything to do with. He's been a lot of speculation that she wanted them to Florida because why would

Starting point is 01:58:11 you have to move to Florida? That's like any fucking sense. He even says someone asked him about his New Year's resolution because I don't do New Year's resolutions because I never fall through with it. So what's the point? The point is to actually fall through that. But I then failed to quit drinking for 10 years straight. Yeah. Why would I start now? But someone goes, well, what about like having goals in your life? And then I go, oh, that's different.

Starting point is 01:58:32 I do have goals in my life. Resolutions might call me. Yeah, right. It's something they go, what are your goals? He's like, I'm definitely going to get back into show business. He's going to, oh, he says, I'm going to get back on TV. John's still living in a world where TV is the most important thing you could possibly be on, even though Mr. Beast is more popular than any fucking sitcom. Yeah. John goes, I'm going to get

Starting point is 01:58:53 back on TV. He said, either a sitcom or an animated series or a reality show. Reality. Reality. Reality. I just love the thought of John being on a sitcom. How would he possibly be cast in something like that? What would he put character when he play? The Drunken Slab, neighbor, the Drunken Slab, Uncle, the Drunken Slab father, Drunken Slab, grandfather. He's too gross for network TV. Oh, don't have to be.

Starting point is 01:59:25 You won't at least. Yeah, he's actually too fat to be fat on TV. At this point, it would not work for him at all. So anyway, that's John's New Year's resolution to get back on television. I am rooting for him. Boy would that be really nice. I'm gonna see it.

Starting point is 01:59:42 To see that happen. All right, we have Annie is here with us. Yay! How are you doing? Happy holidays, everyone. Happy holidays! I received your Christmas card today. Oh, well, that's good. It had a hype train on it. Chads, you're like hype train. Thank you, Annie. Appreciate that. I hope your crystals was nice. It was wonderful. Thank you. Good. I'm glad to hear that. So I want to give some plugs. Well, listen to some voice mails. We'll read some reviews. We'll we'll get out of here.

Starting point is 02:00:16 No game because the Christmas holiday card didn't have a game for us. Holiday potato. And also I should point out, you know, typically this is everyone's favorite part of the show. The T-Tex. The T-Tex. The T-Tex. The T-Tex. The T-Tex.

Starting point is 02:00:33 The T-Tex. The T-Tex. The T-Tex. The T-Tex. This Saturday we are doing a show at our regular time, Brandon McAfee, Brandon, from the Drew and Mike show will be joining us first time in a year So that's very exciting. You did a fantastic job the first go around and he actually sent me a suggestion a week or two ago for the Podcasts review and it was the fart finished podcast and I responded and I said we actually cover that It's weird that we've gotten so far along now that in fact, Doug from whose rights gonna be on the show again soon,

Starting point is 02:01:05 and he sent me a show called, we're having gay sex. And I went, we actually covered that a lot. I don't find to revisit these. We don't have to do brand new shows every time. But both times I give them the option, they both said, all right, we'll do something different. So I gotta figure out what we're doing with Brandon,

Starting point is 02:01:21 this Saturday, and I haven't figured that out just yet. But I don't want to talk about who are these podcasts this Saturday. I want to talk about all apologies. Starry Andy Q public and Joe six pack. Let's go out with your show. Thank you, Carl. We just put out the episode regarding Don I miss his faux pas with the Rutgers, women's basketball team famously got Don got dynamist fired for calling them. Yeah. And it was a lot of thing that I was never said.

Starting point is 02:01:50 It was a lot of fun to do that. I just want to point out, I remember back, because we're about five and a half years behind W ATP. And I remember when Anthony Kumia said, the best thing about W ATP is that you could just jump in cold and pick it up anywhere because Back then there wasn't a lot of lore there wasn't all the all these low cow cast of characters and I'm trying to follow that model. So W ATP or All apologies very easy to just jump in from anywhere and hear about somebody's apology tour.

Starting point is 02:02:27 And the one from two weeks ago, we just did a roundup of every episode that we did a where are they now? Of every episode that we ever did. Nice. So that is maybe a good point of entry for people if you want to check out the show. I am begging you, check it out. All right.

Starting point is 02:02:42 Wherever you get podcasting for the All Apologies podcast. And Lucy, I felt so bad last week. We're all doing the show. We had a lot to get to. I'm always hopeful prepared for these episodes. Oh, yeah. Because I do this purposely, a little peek behind the curtain. The reason why we do this format is,

Starting point is 02:02:59 hey, it's interactive. It breaks things up. It's fun. But B, so I don't have to do all of the prep work. I can do that. You guys pull clips from different shows. Yeah, I think we've all figured that out. Yeah, I think I've already said that before. But that I ended up doing a lot of prep work. And we ended up running long and there's a lot going on. But also the boobs. Well, last

Starting point is 02:03:15 week, I totally forgot to get your guys plugs in. And then after the fact we got out done, we're going upstairs. I go, Oh my gosh my gosh Lucy I forgot to give you plugs you went goddamn it so much to plug dude what the fuck I felt going back what the fuck so Lucy let's talk about once over with Kaylee and everything's you have going out on YouTube yeah let's see over on my YouTube channel on once over with Kaylee which is C-A-Y-L-E-Y I recently did a review of Hello Mary Lou from Night 2 with Doug from Good Times Great movies. Nice. Which was amazing. It was a pleasure to work with him. Doug sent me a note that you were actually a pleasure to work with as well. I think one of you is lying, but I'll go along with it. I think it was him. Probably. Yeah, probably. In addition to that, I also just put out my review of

Starting point is 02:04:02 the Nightmare Before Christmas, which I hated hated so go over to my channel and find out Tell me why I'm wrong because I know that everybody I am. Oh, thank you. Yeah, yeah, I You guys we had a whole debate before the show started about Tim Burton I'll up for some reason Lucy was shitting on Tim Burton I'm ending up like what the fuck you you could hate that movie. That's fine. No problem with that But you can also hate that way. Wankery make.

Starting point is 02:04:26 But the point is there's a lot of good movies in there too. There's a lot of good movies in there too. But the whole reason that I was shitting on Tim Burton is because in addition to doing Nightmare Before Christmas on my channel, I worked with Tony and Crystal over on HACC the movies and we reviewed Edward Cesarhands for Christmas. So fun to check out as well. Oh, and I got a Twitter and X of whatever it is. Oh, do you really? I don't know how to use it yet,

Starting point is 02:04:50 so I'm learning. So come. Whatever news you have on your phone. Yeah, put them on there. Okay. Yes, that's how you do that. I'm really easy. When Lucy's on there, it's triple X. Yeah. So what is your handle? Uh, once over Kaylee. You didn't go with Lucy type box. No, what so what is your handle once over Kaylee you didn't go as Lucy type box. No, what? What's with these people who have multiple names? It's very confusing to follow I always make fun of Cardiff because he still has that computer thing as his avatar But he's a dancing potato, but he's Cardiff electric and none of it connects or makes any fucking sense when it comes to marketing anyway Not of a connects or makes any fucking sense when it comes to marketing anyway Once it was came I'm not a marketing genius like you

Starting point is 02:05:39 Was Kale easier and sover Kale once over Kale. That's all foul Kale. Yes on Twitter Any are you on Twitter? I'm on Twitter, but I don't use Twitter. Okay. What do you use? We're gonna be able to find you. I Am on YouTube you can find my channel. It's what is this game or at W ITGS me and my co-host Dylan from somewhere talk about games We are currently on holiday break. We will be back sometime after the New Year. And when you say games, you mean video games. That's correct. And what's the most recent episode about? The most recent episode was actually the holiday special. We had Tuky

Starting point is 02:06:15 on to talk about all sorts of games that we all played when we were younger. two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two Tuky's going to be there. The guys who are eventually the cis are going to be there. Andy will be there. Maybe Lucy I'll be there. I'll be there. I'll be there. Producer Chris if you ever get to better again. But let me not forget to mention the March 9th that's coming at the Carl's true subreddit surfing live featuring Carl hamburger and all apologies podcast. That's correct. That's it.

Starting point is 02:07:00 Check that out. Comedy at the Carlson. Coming Carlson's website. You can get tickets for that circus magic Anything these days not not too much. I got an Instagram with some stupid shit on there It's just pumpkin spice pumpkin underscore spice underscore heroin. All right. Yeah, yeah check that out Check that out. No news delicious Instagram all nudes. Oh no news guys Please Jordan's again next time it might be the episode we found out what's for all who are these podcast?

Starting point is 02:07:27 I love every pony. Party in the much This of morning radio. Now to show these Oh, I know. Okay, great show. Good job everybody. Great job, everyone. All right, let's get on to some reviews. Do we have any reviews, Annie?

Starting point is 02:07:47 Yup, I brought two. I got one from Billy Ray Cyrus, the virus from December 21st, 2023. The wolf is loose. Carl with 3k's, his joke, not mine, and a rotating cast of nobody's hurl racial slurs and KT accusations at each other or at podcasts and help them improve their craft. They take time to make fun of former radio call screener struggling with alcoholism, a former shock-jock struggling with depression, and a single father of three struggling with loneliness and a crippling fear of success. All in all, it's a great show, Love the Potato, and The Tooster, but it needs more Zumaq and Davido, FPE. I believe I'm apparently seeing someone as two children, but I couldn't be wrong about that. Maybe

Starting point is 02:08:39 this person knows more than I do about it. Did you say that the subtitling was The Wolf is loose? more than I do about it. Did you say that the summer time was the wolf is loose? The title is the wolf is loose. And what's that that's a fine star with a badge, right? Yes. Very good. And what else do we have? I have one from Kelsey Peeps. This one is confusingly from April 20th, 2025. All right. Let's see what's happening in the future, everyone.

Starting point is 02:09:19 We're still going. That's good. Just no. Absolutely not. And it seems like plenty of others agree. Yikes. That sounds like a one-star review. It is. I wonder what show you pissed off in April. Oh our show's going in the wrong direction. All right. Thank you Annie for that. I could just have a couple of voice-mails. People were busy this week. So when I was many as usual and this one's a weird one. Hey, Karam. I, stuck here with my family and my hometown. It's a dogship place and I hate this place, but I'm trying to settle a bet with my cousin.

Starting point is 02:09:52 Is it okay to masturbate on Christmas? Call me back as soon as you get this. I need to know. Thank you. Bye. Didn't sound like a ronzo are you? Why were you betting your cousin about jerking off? What is that? I'll go around the horn now. What do you think about that? Lucy? I think it's okay.

Starting point is 02:10:10 You think it's okay? Yeah. Even though Jesus is definitely watching. I don't know about him. So okay. Andy. Every day. All right. All day. Every day. Bare enough. A beat. Oh, so as you guys know, Gary and San Diego is trying out a brand new car. This is Gardini, the magnificence. Yay. Hey, Carl. This is Gardini, the magnificent. The answers are Richard Nixon, Pogo, and Stuttering John Melendez. I'm gonna open the seal envelope

Starting point is 02:10:49 and the questions are name a dick, name a stick, and name a prick. Rock and Lola. There you go. I liked that new character. That one was a little predictable. I gotta be honest. I saw where that was going

Starting point is 02:11:11 Well Carl it's about 2 a.m. And I just put my kids to bed. It's Christmas morning and Oh, oh shit 2 a.m. on Christmas morning. I gotta go I gotta go call John's mom. Yes Everybody please call John's mom. Make sure no one's harassing her. All right. I need everyone to call John's mom without everyone has their number now John's on the screen tonight Please call and make sure no one is harassing her. She's 86 years old. Can't be harassing this poor woman Terrible all right get ready for some stuff Joe math. This is gonna be a quiz for all of you boy. Jesus Hey guys, it's better in John. This is gonna be a quiz for all of you employees Jesus. Hey guys, it's veteran John. This is how I talk The cute kid that I'm a right to zone exam so I got a math question for you If I buy a six pack of corn and I drink seven

Starting point is 02:12:03 How many do I have left? Oh, I'll give you a second The answer five because I'm already six ahead left. Oh, I'll give you a second. The answer's five, because I've already six back from my neighbor. Fuck you, Kmart. That should've known. All right, guys, you make a lot of suds. So you guys know that we have a listener who's half black and gay.

Starting point is 02:12:19 And actually, I'm not sure if he's half black and half gay. Half black and fully gay. The black half is the street half. Yeah, it's hard to tell. But anyway, he called him. Like this carol, this is, this is why Simon's going to say it by your one half black gay listener. I'm dropping that name because it's ridiculous.

Starting point is 02:12:40 He told me soon that's the name you're going to go live in the company. See, too. Anyway, that's irrelevant. So, over the holidays, I decided to introduce my boyfriend to the devil versus terrible idea. That's a good thing. Kookie and the Spud, he was very confused,

Starting point is 02:12:56 but it doesn't understand why I obsessed over any random alcoholic well-passed with prime, but at the relevant point is, the background while I was doing stuff or drinking or eating whatever, I was playing Tuttering Sex Test video and specifically his W-A-T-T versus John 20-21 parts, do to, I believe. Yeah, in case we've talked about this before, but Stuttering Sex Pass, I think, is his name on YouTube, has gone ahead and pulled out all the clips

Starting point is 02:13:33 of us talking about Stuttering John over all the years and they're like, eight, nine hour long videos, we can just sit and get caught up and everything we've ever talked about, all the different things that have happened over the years of Stuttering John. So that's a lot of fun, a good way to get caught up on the Centering John War.

Starting point is 02:13:48 Yeah, part two at three hours and three minutes and 20 seconds, you talk about the goddamn tortilla. Oh. I'm not even joking, you talk about how you prefer corn tortillas and have been talking about how flax tortased are better. This was two years ago almost over two years ago. We're living in a time loop, a fucking time loop.

Starting point is 02:14:17 Everything is happening all over again. That John has practiced into some weird reality when we heat-relipping shit. We have to escape. I don't know how. The corn tortilla question is always pertinent. It's very important that everybody be on the same page about it. Well you have to be on the same page but it does get brought up a lot as a debate. And you're the one who brought that show with you guys, we're talking about tacos. And we all want this ridiculous, which way do you turn your head? And then it turned to awesome.

Starting point is 02:14:52 And the voice mailer has gotten involved, apparently this has happened many times before. So I'll just ask my buddy Ryan. Uh, corner flower. Whatever you say, mine, furr, flower. No, yeah. It's corn. It's corn., fur flower. No, yeah. It's hard. I think it's fucking corn. I think corn.

Starting point is 02:15:08 You started that correctly. So yes, we are in this weird loop or cycle where everything just keeps happening, and over and over again, and for infinity. And it also gets faster as it goes. It's an increasing rate involved as well. So probably six months are now. We're talking about corn versus flour than three months after that. Then we hit it's all we're going to talk.

Starting point is 02:15:30 Exactly. You can break for successful months or whatever. Right. That's why you make about 20 25 people like this show sucks. It's only tortilla talk. All tortilla talk. And you know what you do with these tortillas. You can politics you can't talk to or T is because you divide the audience 5% of the people just tune out immediately. Oh, this is a corn guy. I'm not listening to this asshole All right, so the $500 WTP fugitive called in but it's connection sucked So I can't play that voice now, but thank you for calling in the $500 WTP fugitive one more

Starting point is 02:16:05 voice pal for us. Hey, Carl, quick question. Who the fuck is Jerry? Okay, good question. So you might remember that on the last show Jerry was sitting in with us. And Jerry is a fan of the show. We've met him at all the different live events. He always comes out.

Starting point is 02:16:23 He's great. He came to Debelcon, came to Philly. I think we saw him in Chicago. I wonder what he's been all the different live events. He always comes out. He's great. He came to DoubleCon, came to Philly. I think we saw him in Chicago. I went out. He's been all the different things. And he said he was going to drive in to see the ice tub show Friday night. And then we had the podcast Saturday. So I was chatting with him after the ice tub show. And I go, Hey, man, you want to swing by the house? I know what you're doing tomorrow. It's a guy. Nothing. I swing by the house. You can hang out. I very much thought Jerry was going to kind of sit and hang out. And while we did the show. Then it turned out that he was like third Mike on the show, which is great. He did a fantastic job. That's why I didn't like introduce him right away

Starting point is 02:16:53 or anything like that. So it's got a weird, I feel bad. I didn't introduce him. Whatever one know who Jerry was, but Jerry was in front of town hanging out. That's the first time we've done that. Other people have messaged me. I remember there was a guy on his way to Vermont from Colorado or something. He's the first time we've done that. Other people have messaged me. I remember there was a guy on his way to Vermont from Colorado or something. He's like, we're passing through town. I'm like, well, come over and hang out. We sat through the podcast that we,

Starting point is 02:17:11 through the frisbee around on, we played Cornhole or something. So it's a very accessible pod. It is. It is. If you're in the Rochester area and you want to hang out, I usually say yes. And I think correct me if I'm wrong,

Starting point is 02:17:22 but I think that you asked Jerry if he wanted to participate in the Lo type box bachelor style show. Yes. During the voice male segment. I did. Yeah. I heard that that was an overwhelming yes. Do you want to be a part of this? Uh, yes. Really? Pulling one with Lucy type box. All right. All right. We're starting a new reality show. Fox delivery. Yeah. So are you? We got the batch where I with Lucy type. I make horrible decisions on my own. I need help.

Starting point is 02:17:50 I love it. Well, I'm just the man to host this new reality show. I think that'll work out very well. All right, thanks for hanging out everybody. And we'll see you again before the new year's hits. A-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r- arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr, arrrr We are go fuck yourselves have a good week Jesus I gotta go this is getting stupid bye guys

Who Are These Podcasts? - Ep477 - Drama Podcasts

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