Who Are These Podcasts? - Ep50 - An Older Gay Guy Show

Episode Date: February 26, 2017

Hiya folks, it's new episode time.  This is our 50th show which means WATP will be getting its AARP card in the mail shortly.  In honor of our 50th episode we reviewed a show called An Older Gay Guy Show.  What does this older guy talk about, you ask? Dick... lots and lots of dick talk.  So if you don't like hearing about male genitalia or what comes out of said genitalia, then I would recommend you listen to something else this week.  If you are cool with that stuff and wanna here Kevin and Karl fidget and squirm around hearing about these topics, then by all means give this shit a listen. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hello and welcome to another episode of Who Are These Podcasts? I'm Kevin and I'm Carl. And we listen to podcasts so you don't have to. We want to remind our listeners that you can visit us on WhoAreThese.com, our Facebook page, or on Twitter at Who Are These Pod. We're always looking for new podcast suggestions, so leave us a comment, or post a death threat, or give us five stars or give us five stars. Give us five stars. Today we'll be reviewing a show called an older gay guy show. As always we've listened to the episode separately. We have not discussed it with each other

beforehand. So without further ado, let's find out once and for all, who are these podcasts? It's showtime. W-A-T-P-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E- Slapers are back back slappers in the morning. We're back everybody. We're back. We listen to podcast that's ridiculous. An older gay guy show. Yes. And Kevin, we had talked, we had teased it last week. Episode number 39, say hello to my little dick pump is the title. I actually listened to that and I listened to episode 37 called Come, Come, Come. Oh, he makes reference to that. Yeah. One of the samples that I have. Oh, I'm glad you listened to that one.

So we have a full perspective on Come, Come, Come. Yeah, I have a lot of clips from that episode. All right. So I guess to explain the premise is that, well, he's a, what, like a 51, is he? No, no, he's 59 years old. He's a 10-year-old gay guy. Joey Hernandez. He's a personal trainer. Yep. And he's a gay guy. Yep. And he wants to do a show for older gay guys, 40 plus. Yeah. So the

episode is is mostly him talking about his dick pump, how you use said dick pump, the injury he sustained in a prior dick pump using of usage. And then lots of other things that just, I don't know, we're crazy. Now, I don't care if I don't know, we're crazy. Now, I don't care if you're gay, and if this is what you wanna listen to, awesome. But do they, do you think they have, like heterosexual equivalent podcasts like this? I guess they do with like whatever,

like people, like girls or guys talking about, I don't know, fucking about I Don't know fucking I don't know like do you think that there's other stuff like this because this is pretty it gets kind of graphic It's sometimes I can't imagine like heterosexual guys as per via as we are Are not as obsessed with pussy as this guy is obsessed with dick Which is hard which is hard to believe. But Kevin, this guy talks about dick more than you talk about pizza. It's not a control. It is.

And now that's a good point to make because I know a lot of gay people. None of them, none of those guys talk about dick as much as this guy does. No, I don't know. Maybe it's just this guy, maybe he's doing it for the podcast. I don't know. But there's a lot of dick talk. This should, this show should be called dick talk with. It should be.

Yeah. Would Joey Hernandez. So I have a clip from the episode Come, Come, Come. But I want to play for everybody. I think it's a good representation of what Kevin and I subjected ourselves to for your enjoyment. Play Track 8, which I call Terrible Joke and Delivery just awful. I don't have a huge dick, but on the other hand, at least I've been called a huge dick a lot. So I kind of feel at least on maybe halfway there anyways.

Yeah, Sky tries to be funny and that delivery he thinks it's so good the way he delivers it. I have been called a huge dick. Do you get it? People? Yeah, holy shit man and then he every time he has a bad jokie tags it with additional things that make it less funny Which is just a no-no in common. Just let it go if you if your bomb keep moving That's like like That's like turning all the sinks out on it that is sinking ship Just adding to the to the fucking I've never heard that analogy before. Neither of us I just made it up on the spot so if you want to use that. Yeah he does have a strange sense of humor and he lend the teaser clip last week he does this thing

where he's like and I'm gonna blow you all away. Like, he does the dramatic pause thing. Anyway, here's just a dope. Hold on. Hold on, Gav, did you say that? I have a segue. Here is a clip where he does that same type of joke, but in the other episode, come, come, come, come.

So play track one. I'd be hard, So play track one. I'd be hard. Press to find someone who doesn't want to come like a stallion, right? Yeah. Yeah. So I was just the same thing. Like, oh, that's yeah, you got me there, buddy.

That's a good one. Oh, yeah. All right. Sorry. As you were. What? I feel bad for stallions. They're always getting called out for coming. Yeah. I mean, it's not the worst thing. I guess. Anyway. All right, here's another example of dumb joke.

These are the chances one takes when one escapes from the loony bin and decides to do a podcast It's so outrageous. He escaped from the loony bin From the loony bin. He's got he says this thing He thinks he's outrageous. He calls himself like a nut job or something. I'm comfortable don't job Yeah, and he says this one thing that I took in ISO because not that I think it's funny But I think it'll work perfect for our podcast for future episodes play The ISO podcast get weirder Is it my imagination or are these podcasts getting weirder and weirder each week?

He's so impressed with himself Yeah, that is a very very good one for us. I Gotta say I questioned my my sanity several times listening to the show. Yeah, I thought I was also a nut job during this during this. I see what you did there. The premise, like I had mentioned before, is he got a new dick pump, actually it's the name of the episode, which he also makes sure that he does in the worst scar face impression

ever. Sir, I wrote to my little dick pump. No, I didn't take that, but I think I just did it justice right there. And yeah, he got a new water-based dick pump. Now, I don't know anything about dick pumps. I guess I, that's something that I skipped that day in school or something. I never got the lowdown on how a dick pump works, but apparently he injured himself previously with another older model dick pump, but he has a new one now, and he's very, very excited about it. Very, very excited.

It's my new, my new, da da da da, dick pump. See? He's very, da da da very... He's very excited. He's got trumpets are blowing. So yeah, he's very, very excited. Well he talks about his DICK PUMP and I have a clip right after that that I call, this is not how advertising sales works. Play track 21. I'm going to be sending this podcast link to the Hydro Max company, Bathmaid Hydro Max

company, and I would certainly like them to come on as an advertiser. I won't argue with that. I'll take your money and I will talk about your dick pump all the time because I love dick pumps. I talk about your dick pump all the time. But could you imagine, Kevin, if you and I just started talking about pringles for 10 minutes, they're like, let's shoot this episode over to Pringle, see if we can't get some ad money. That's just not how that works.

I'm glad that you chose the most phallic of all the the potato Potato chips Pringles kind So he talks a bit about the advertisement or like the video For the new pump and this is exciting. This is very exciting room There are actual guys that actually show their dicks when they're doing this. They show how to measure it beforehand and then they put it on and then they go in the shower, La La Patan, they come back

out and they measure again and you actually get to see their dicks and the measurements. It's pretty interesting though right? You get to see their dicks and the measurements that they take. So I mean, this is, you know, I got to subscribe to this YouTube channel, I think because that's that sounds interesting. Yeah, dude, this this show it's so gay that it makes Lance Bass reconsider his stance on pussy. It's so awesome. So all the time. Shit. I was listening to this in my office and clipping things in my wife walked in. And she is a hairstylist. So she's been having conversations with gay guys on a daily basis for 20 years. And even she was like, oh my god, this is uncomfortable.

Yeah. And the thing is like I Mean I guess I totally agree like everyone has friends that are gay. I mean most everybody anyway, and I've never heard Maybe it's just because I've never gotten into a conversation about dick pumps, but I've never heard somebody talk about dick so So often this show is more uncomfortable than the back of a Volkswagen This this show makes Paul Lind look like a lumberjack This show is greater than eight guys blowing nine guys. So this is a little bit of the intro on his dick pump injury, which I alluded to before. I talk about my dick pump injury that I got in the early 1980s. Because he does mention that he got this new dick pump,

but the previous dick pump where he's injured himself, he bought and he still has from the 80s. He's had the same dick pump. You can see the math in his head, did you hear that? He's like, I've had that for 35 years. That dick pump is almost as old as us. Right. And wiser.

Yeah, most likely. That's been, yeah, it's probably been bathed more times than I have. Um, gross. Could you, I'm sorry about you, that is dick pop. I mean, can you imagine the deterioration of this Dick Pop? I mean, it's got to be, you know, a blown seal here and there. I don't know. And when I say blown seal, I don't mean the singer. I mean, you know, the anyway. So I was interested, well, I'm not interested, but I was interested, I guess,

while listening to know, well, how, how did you introduce yourself? Like what, what was the procedure for the old one? I mean, he kind of gets you prepped a little bit as to how, how you, you use the old 1980s pump. Before what I had to do is I had to lube my entire crotch area. I had to lube it up a lot. Then I had to kind of get pretty much an erection or pretty close to an erection. So he had to get pretty close.

I don't usually broadcast with a bomb at black index today is Leon hold on the And then what the hell is roll red into the how you use the old pump so you had to have the blue ball over you You had to have an erection you had to pump it almost to the point where it hurts and then So you had to have the loop all over you, you had to have an erection, you had to pump it almost to the point where it hurts. And then sometimes you had a hard time getting out of it. Sounds pretty bad. It sounds like there was time after 35 years to get into dick pump is what I'm getting at. I like to change my dick pumps every six months. I mean, oh yeah, dude. Yeah, it's like the dentist. As soon as I make the appointment,

I buy a new dick pump. Like, all right, it's six months. I don't understand this whole 35 years is the one dick pump thing. Yeah, that seems pretty excessive. Unless it was, although there is a possibility that this guy is poor, and I'll tell you why I say that. And you might have a clip of this.

I don't. He talks about how he lives in a multi-unit home that was originally designed for a single family. Yes. Which is fine. I've lived in those two in the past. But this one is bizarre. He lives on the bottom floor with his husband. Then the owner lives on the second floor.

There was another tenant upstairs on the third floor. The third floor and first floor have half a bath. The only full bath in the house is on the second floor with a landlord lives. So they have to all share the same shower and bathtub. I mean this guy explains what he's doing with that bathtub. I hope that his landlord doesn't listen to his show or subscribe to this because this is I mean just explain that he's using his dick pump in there and he has to get himself ready and his sink downstairs and then go up to the shower and use his dick pump. Yeah yeah oh he this is the whole sink part of you're wondering what that was about. When I walk up and I'm leaning against the sink I can lift my dick and balls and put them into the sink a little bit. This isn't a shared and a shared bathroom.

I mean, listen, if I were a landlord, I'm not. I would rent to anyone. I don't care if you're gay or whatever. But I don't think I would share a bathroom with this guy. I just, this is a little bit too far for me. Knowing that I'm brushing my teeth for he was just lifting his dick and balls. And I got our poor head like a pecker tracks on the sink. Hey, I wiped your tape juice off the sink for you. Don't worry about it. Maybe next time you just check that out for me. It's a shortened cur is everywhere and oh god.

Oh, I'm allowed in the limf heaven and say the only person who was turned on by this show was a 13 year old Milo you an opalous. You're topical topical. So, uh, So, uh, shit. He really enjoys, he does talk a little bit about how he's going to, you know, he can't wait to the landlord's guns, we can go use the bath because that's really the best place to use a water-based dick pump. So, yeah, so this is his anticipation of that moment. That will be the best, I think think because I'll be down in the nice soapy water and we can really go to town, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, pump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, here's some instruction on how you would use the new pump. So you fill it up with nice warm water.

You have to put the valve on the end in a closed position so that it will fill water without dumping out at the bottom. And then you put this comfort insert into it. And then you push it again, put your dick into it and push it against yourself nice and tightly. This sounds like a lot of work. Is what?

Yeah, right. And he explains that it can increase the size of your penis, but he says over and over again, it's more girth than length. And I'm just thinking if I'm this guy's boyfriend, is that really what I want is more girth? How is that helpful in any single way? Well, supposedly that's the more important aspect of... Oh, Jesus Christ. Well, what the hell, Dangleberg? What do you think we're known as far? Yeah, I guess I don't understand the culture.

You're caution about more girth. Goal. Goal. Anyway, here's a, well I don't even really know what it is. It just says boner, yes or no. So you don't have to have a boner when you do this actually you do better off not having a full boner So if you're soft, they're you're a little bit or a little bit hard because you kind of get excited about it. That's cool You don't have to have a boner

Kevin, what did you do? Just clip talk about penises. Well, it's wrong with you. Yeah. You can clip something else. It's a clip. It's a mouthcock. Let's go over that. Yeah, welcome to this podcast.

Yeah, that's all this guy talks about. Yeah, but he also does talk about loads, too. Oh, a good point. Yeah, we want to forget that. So here's some load talk. I mean, load talk. Kind of like when I talked about, come, Oh, good point. Yeah, we don't, we don't want to forget that. So here's some load talk. You're right, load talk. Kind of like when I talked about come, come, come, couple episodes ago, where I was talking about how I want

to be able to like shoot a load from here to Chicago. This pump does the kind of shooting that you were like, oh, fuck, I wish I could do that. I wish my come came out like that. Well, at least you can imagine some water coming out like that. So I was thinking about this. I don't know why. But I was like, you know what? I bet I could shoot a load to Chicago. Of course, I would have to deposit it into a glass and then put it on a plane to Chicago. Well, you know, I was thinking about the logistics of this too,

because this one jumped out at me and I was thinking, shooting Lord of Chicago sounds impressive, but where are you starting from, St. Louis? Right. Because if you're in Tucson, as you shoot Lord of Chicago, I am impressed. Yeah. I am, get me a front row seat for that.

But if you're, you know, in Illinois to begin with, ah, okay, I guess it's impressive. It's part of what I could do. Now, could you imagine the arc that you'd have to have come from Tucson? I mean, you'd have to shoot straight up into the air and just hope it rained down in Chicago. I mean, you know.

Yeah, you definitely want to go with the wind. Well, it is, yeah. It is the windy city too. So you know, I mean, it could end up in, you know. That's a good point. Anyone jerked off in the Midwest is probably heads up jump a Chicago yeah yeah you know what that's not even that impressive now that you mentioned it yeah no I think we debunked this I don't think that's possible to uh so Kevin he references the show that I I did hold a lot of clips from yes and I have

a clip that I call um how every good conversation starts. Play track for. So get your dicks out and let's talk. Every time I got a party, it's like, all right, what do you guys want to do? Oh, no, let's get your dicks out. Let's talk. That's how the Ed Sullivan show, he used to start. I think that's, uh, what he said, get your dicks out. And let's talk. It's a simple time. Yeah, it was.

I think people have to be tuning out. This is getting rough. But hang with us here, folks. We're going to get into something. I mean, we're going to talk about vagina. No. There will be. There will be no.

Vaginas might not exist in this guy's world. I mean, they might as well be a fairy tale because there is no talk of that once however, but there is a super disturbing descriptions of men coming play track too. Then you see the film go into slow motion where the guy jerks his dick and long slow water guns soaker come fires out in an impressive blast oh my god that would be enough to hook that easily play tracks 3 then you see the film go into slow motion. Where the guy jerks his dick and long, slow, water guns soak or come, fires out in an impressive blast. Oh, God. It's like Satan's in my ear. Oh, God.

You know what we haven't talked about yet? You're supposed to. All right, this guy's voice. I want you to play. This is from the episode. Say hello to my little dick pump early on. Play track 18. Okay.

And thank you, my friend. Thank you so much for your awesome help and ideas. I pronounce that as ideas rather than ideas because I've been so conscious of my Boston accent on my life that I make extra emphasis with ours to try to make it sound like I'm not saying I parked the car in Hav at Yad. I always say I parked the car in Harvard yard. So, ideas is the way I say that. So, he totally punched in. I don't know if you heard that. Yeah. But it sounds like he said ideas. And then it was like when he was editing was like, oh, I got

to explain why I said ideas. Well, what's obvious is that he's putting out a voice. He doesn't wait to talk like that. And he kind of admits it. He's doing this on purpose. But I've been diesel thinks this guy's voice is irritating. Over the top. Somehow though, Joey has actually lost to say the Groot. I'm not sure how that's possible. Dick, that's all that Groot says. I am. I am.

Dick. Okay. What you got any more clips? Oh my gosh. All right, how about I got Track 5 and this is gonna lead to a trilogy of clips that I have for you. My name is Joey Hernandez and this is Come, Come, Come. Joey Hernandez and this is come come come

So it's been a little while Kevin since I put together a musical number for the show But I have a track number six called my name is Joey Hernandez the musical My name is Joey Hernandez and this is come come come I just I Can just see you editing together you clipped out him saying come and then you have like a keyboard like some you just click the key And I was like come come Boy the shit we do for you people Well, it's funny why I was doing that My wife's in the room and she goes I think I'm getting a glimpse into what 13-year-old Karel was like

It isn't every day that she's around you All right, so then I have a track number seven. I call leave the songs to me asshole Hey, like isn't that a song? Come come lady come come lady lady right No, no way lady epic fail Was he doing that?

Was he trying to do like a Jerry Lewis is he trying to do a Jerry Lewis? I think so, but that was terrible He can't even say lady correctly Gross lady So I will give you an example of what one thing I thought he did well. And you weren't ready for that. You know what we've talked about in the past, radio broadcasting. It's a different medium than most out there.

You're supposed to be having a one-to-one conversation with the person who's in his car. You're not supposed to say, hey, this is for everybody out there. It's more of a one to one. I think he does a really good job over leading to that one person having the one to one conversation. If you listen to Track 10. When you watch people suck themselves in porn films

or amateur videos on sites like dudes, nude, or cam 4? Like, I thought like him and I were just having a normal conversation. This is just me and my body shooting the shit. Shooting some loads over. So, so this, you get into this whole thing and so the episode come, come, come. It's supposed to be about how to make your loads bigger or just shoot further. I don't know who knows. But he talks a lot about sucking his own penis. Play track.

Time. He's good. Did you get to play F2? Yes. Did your contract? That would bring me to my second acceptable wish. That I could suck my own dick. It certainly does suck.

He goes into all these things that he wish he could do. And then, I think this kind of goes with that. We're playing track 12. My thoughts always the same. every time I'm watching this. Yeah, that circus stuff's impressive, but can they suck their own dick? What? I should have set that up. Is he talking about clowns?

I shouldn't have set that up. He's talking about Cirque de Soleil and watching these people who you're the contortionist and all this shit to think and do it. He's like, whatever you watch is that, he's always thinking, yeah, okay, but could you suck your own dick that who doesn't think that, right? Exactly. Whenever I've gone to Ringland Brothers and I watch this, yeah, Lufans come out, I'm like, well, they probably can suck their dick. But yeah, no, I've never put the two and two together, I think, on that one. All right, I have a few more clips that I want to play.

So I know this is getting more and more difficult, but we're going to get through this. We might have to just play an entire porno audio track at the end, like a heterosexual porno. Well, I'm thinking it's lesbian porn. It doesn't. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we might have gone into that room. I don't want to talk in the room. Well, it's funny to say that, Kevin, because I have a clip on here that I say, maybe

Joey and I have Morgan Common that I thought played track 15. I do music, I do podcasts, and I work on shooting come really far With forward by Peter North Yeah That's ridiculous. These are the three things that this guy now. Now, I want to also add, he's a personal trainer. So, do you think, I mean, this is a stereo type, and I guess, but do you think that he has only gay clients? I mean, or do you think there's guys that go to him because he's a legitimately a good personal trainer, but wouldn't they have done any research

like oh my guess would be anyone who has Google is no longer going to him if they're a stripping. Yeah, it seems a little and then he says his gym is in his house for his personal trainer too, which as we have already heard has two bathrooms though the whole three apartments that are in it. And it just sounds like a really weird situation if you're going over there to work out. I'm not a fan. I'm not a fan in this situation. All right, so he talks about how he wants to build a suckers on Dick and then he goes into talking about guys who could shoot multiple loads and how he would love to be able to do that. So I had to listen to it and now you do

too. Play Track 13. There's many videos out there where some guy films himself all like in one long sequence without any breaks because you can tell it's just filmed in one long take and he shoots like three or four loads at a time. Now granted, each time he shoots, they aren't always gushers, but the people that do them can just like boom boom boom boom on their dick and power. I had to get permission from ACDC to use that. It was tough. That was a run to the deadline there.

But when you told them that you were using it for, they're like, oh yeah. They're totally cool. They're like, they're like, Joey Hernandez, my homeboy, of course. They talk more Aussie like. Yeah, they don't say home. They did. They did. I'll fire them. I like how this guy describes the single camera take, like it's a fucking Kubrick film One continuous camera shot pans over several things and the guy ejaculates five times I don't remember that scene in the shining Well, yeah, it's more like a Corey Felden video that it is Kuback, I was sitting there. So, Kevin, at the end of the episode, Come, Come, Come. He throws out a little audience participation, and I want to throw this to you and see if

you can get it. Play Track 16. Bonus. If you know what that line is from, I'm so excited I could just squirt. I'm going to tell you right at the very end of the podcast. Schindler's list. Nope, nope. No, okay. All right. You're getting warm. All right. So it's funny. Literally 22 seconds later, he tells what the answer is because he says at the end of the show,

you know, I'm going to tell you the answer to this and it's at the end of the show. So here it is, Kevin. I don't think you're going to get it. Play Track 17. The answer to the question, I'm so excited I could just squirt, was said by Alf. In the 1980s sitcom. But look, I got some cool Pogs, Alf Pogs. Remember Alf, he's back in Pog form. He's back and totally inappropriate. Ha, ha, ha. Oh, I remember Alf, but I don't remember him ever saying

he could squirt. Yeah, apparently that was part of his stick out there was how much he was squirting all the time. Kevin, as you know, I do way too much research before the WATP podcast. Yesterday, I listened to this show multiple times and I blew three guys. What? I want to be as prepared as possible. You're dedicated. Yeah, I am.

You listen to this show as much as the guy come then that long-take video. I should put up a YouTube video of me listening to these episodes. I can't believe he just listened to 40 minutes straight. I mean, they weren't all gushers, but, you know. Yeah. Can you imagine if you were critiqui a guy's third load in 20 seconds?

I don't know, I didn't see that in front of barely got the Chicago They're not gushers, you know what I mean? I mean they're more like bakers, or you know It's a old candy reference for you Kevin I have well of course So, you know, it's an old candy reference for you. Kevin, I have, well, of course, of course, the candy over. I have a ISO on here, which by the way, I call it opera using the word ISO too much.

It's an isolated track that is my new favorite insult. A newborn donkey dog. Yeah, this has a newborn donkey dog. Yeah, this has a newborn donkey dog. I just he was treading on some very bizarre ground there where he was talking about that because he was talking about the size of the pumps. Right. And he says like one is for like really Yeah.

For which peanut size? Yeah, yeah. One was like for donkey dogs and then ones for like Infant don't don't use the word infant or baby or anything around the word don't Please like it's just not I don't know I don't like it makes me uncomfortable You know, I didn't like it. This guy has more words for penis than us camos have for snow You know what I didn't like. I didn't like that this guy has more words for penis than uskimo's haper snow Yeah, he was just throwing dong out there like it was nothing I

Have a trek on here that I am calling Pants on fire play track 20 Somewhere in the middle is where I fall. No, no, this guy falls on the bottom. You're telling me it's no way. This guy is definitely about him. Well, the set that up, he is talking about the spectrum of pump size. He's talking about his penis size. Yeah, he's talking about his penis. Because there's that one part where he's talking about his penis size and he's talking about it Because there's that one part where he starts talking about his penis for a little while. Oh, oh, yeah I remember that was really short section where he talks about it And then he's he teases the audience by saying in future episodes I'm gonna be using this dick pump every day and I'm gonna be telling you the progress I make on my girth and length

And then he's like but don't get any ideas. I'm not going to tell you the actual size. I'm just going to tell you the size that it changed by. Yeah, yeah. And then anyone is like, oh, one of those legs, so bad damage. Yeah, I have a clip of that actually. Okay. I am not actually going to give you the actual measurement of my dick.

Sorry. I like to keep you guessing anyway. You know what I won't be doing, Kevin? Is guessing the size of this guy's penis. Don't care. Oh, God. I have a track on here, Kevin, and it's something that he says in that that episode. Say hello to my little dick pump. I wish Adam Corolla felt this way. I didn't listen to the Adam Corolla show. Play Track 22. But I didn't really make a notation of what stories I told in what episodes. And the problem with that is I don't want to repeat a story and bore the fuck out of you.

I don't want to repeat a story and bore the fuck out of you. I didn't want to listen to the I have a throw a show of no or talking about that. We've heard it. We get it. Oh, good. Yeah, this was a very interesting. I wasn't sure going into this one, I'm like, I don't want it to be like us just goofing on a gay guy because it's not really cool and you know, but it's not I mean this guy is kind of off on his own. I mean, it's not. Oh yeah, this podcast is bad because it's bad.

No, I'm just as I'm just doing this being gay. Exactly. Yeah, that's that's what I'm trying to take to get out there. This guy is just off. I mean just you know, I can't imagine doing half an hour show on you know, if I was doing one on a you know a fucking fleshlight or something. I'm going to do 30 minutes talking about how you can put a fleshlight on yourself and how I've owned one for 30 years and it's just crazy. Kevin, I am going to send this episode to the flashlight company in hopes that they want to advertise on our show. We use flashlights all the time.

What is that accent? That doesn't sound like Joey Hernandez to you. No, it sounds like a muppet version of Triumph or something. I don't know. I'm not known for the voices. All right, I got one more track for you, and then we can move on with our lives. It is a Joey Hernandez.

Oh, a CC viewer. Joey Hernandez. I put the headbush. He bought it. God. Oh, see, see, you're I put I put God Oh It's like slow poker, that is Oh, how can we get the cheese from the blue cicatle? Mouli, mouli pump ability

Mouli Alright, one more track and then we'll move on. I can't remember what it is, but I called it hilarious joke by track 11. Sometimes even coming in their own mulls, which I find super, super, super hot. Oh He really had the crowd on that one They were all in on that one coming in their mouths

It's terrible. Oh my gosh, I gotta go take a shower Anybody celebrating a birthday here? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha anybody ever pop up their dick in a shower that's not owned by them? anyone? thanks for listening to me talk about coming in my mouth make sure you fill out the comment cards and your tables and tell us how we're doing. you're with the afterwards, I'll be in the back, I'll be in the back there. oh well I'll be in the rear if you get it. So, Kevin, as usual, we've had a lot of fun. Someone else is exposed.

Yes. And it's been a rough go probably for a lot of people. Most of our listeners won't get to this part of the show, but I bring good news. Next week, we do this all over again and we have a very fresh and different podcast completely different than this podcast and I want to talk about what that's gonna sound like I'm not going to lie down now. Oh, I'm going to lie down now. Shut up.

Shut up. Well, you know what that means. This is the transition to the next week's teaser clip. We had a suggestion coming on our Facebook page, which Kevin asks for the beginning of the show. You also added five star ratings. That's a good call. We need some of those.

Spinoel. But, yeah, so someone on our Facebook page put in a suggestion for a show and I listened to the first, I don't know, two and a half minutes and it's a winner. Play next week's teaser. On the line right now, we have TK and more to join in a moment, which we're trying to start right now. So TK if you could take over for a minute? Well, take over. It's not like you gave me something you needed, anything to say. Do you have any pickup lines to use at the moment?

No, I do not and someone's calling my phone. Do you have any pickup lines to use at the moment? No, I do not, and someone's calling my phone. Hello. Wow. Wow is right. The show is called Pick Up Wines, The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly. It is a podcast from 2007. It's 10 years old.

Okay. So you could tell me the production value and things that it is terrible. This is the premiere episode. They're trying to do this show. And apparently it's not to good. So they're trying to get whatever are each other on the phone. Or I love this guy calls it. He knows it's calling it to do a podcast and he'll pick up lines. And she's like, okay, we got TK on the line. TK, go ahead and take it away.

And he's like, oh, I got nothing. He didn't tell me anything to say. I meant work right now. Yeah, the phone call. Because he's like, I know I'm doing your podcast or not, but hold on a second. Hello. Hello, I do want life insurance.

Tell me more about your offer. Oh, I do want life insurance. Tell me more about your offer. So it literally is like pick up lines like to get a date, like that kind of shit. Okay. Pick up lines at the bar, the good, the bad and the ugly and it's gonna get wacky. Let's talk about the pick up lines that maybe worked out you.

And I can't imagine. Hopefully there's more people calling in who are different to the topic because that's amazing. Yeah, people who don't know that they're supposed to be talking. Hey, TK, can you take it over? You didn't even tell me I was on right now. What's going on? I think this poor woman, she's just like, wow.

Why did I have TK? I don't know what was I thinking. Poor TK. And again, Kamen, we have a lot to dissect with this show. But again, you are a wild with podcasting to edit before you post. No one is making you post the raw audio on to iTunes. Go ahead and give it a once over. Give it a quick listen.

See if something doesn't work real well. Maybe pull it out. Yeah, the whole premise of our show obviously is to point out some of the ridiculous shit that gets put out there as shows and air quotes. And this is one of those things. I just think sometimes people are like, I'm gonna do a show and they have no clue what a show is supposed to be. So they just hit record

and then talk and then it stop and then upload the whole file. Let me just say, as Carl had mentioned, make sure you edit it. Get us a fucking piece of software and pull all the bullshit out of it. That doesn't need to be in it. Because it's not fun, listen. It's not fun, it's not funny to listen to. And before you even start, figure out a format. You talking with your friends, I can guarantee is uninteresting. Yes, thank you.

Now, unless your last name rhymes with Mattel, I don't want to hear you and your friends have your conversation. People are going to be like, what? I don't get that reference. Yes, they go. So please, I'm that known. I want everyone to join us again next week because it might be the episode where we find out once and for all.

Who are these podcasts? Sleep well, every pony. I'd be hard. Doesn't want to home like this guy. Right? You know, who are these? Podcasts. I don't know. I don't get it. Makes no sense.