Who Are These Podcasts? - Ep500 - Mike O'Meara, Boogered Up, Armchair Expert

Episode Date: March 10, 2024

It’s our 500th episode and we’re celebrating with some of our least favorite podcasts from the first 499. We start with the Mike O’Meara Show featuring guys who were on the Don and Mike Show which I think was good back in the day. Then we look at the Boogered Up podcast featuring my favorite real-life Beavis - Spaz Kid. Also, Dax Shepard has been hosting a terrible podcast for years and we’ve been letting him get away with it. We’re joined by Vinnie Paulino, Andy Q. Public, and Kindy to get things rolling. We have a fantastic tribute to our 500th episode from Myster Magenta, Jodie B, Ed the Editor, and Adam Theroux as well as a half-assed tribute from Cardiff Electric. Then Missy B joins the show to discuss Stuttering John calling her a sperm receptacle. After some good natured ribbing with StutJo, Dick Masterson joins us to learn more about the LGBTQ community with Queer Kid Stuff. Also, a round of To Catch An Alien, reviews with Kindy, and your voicemails. Tickets to the live show in Florida on March 22nd! – http://watplive.com Tickets to the Vegas shows May 31st – June 2nd – https://www.hackamania.com/ https://allapologiespodcast.com/ https://allapologiespodcast.com/ https://biggestproblem.show/  Support us, get bonus episodes, and watch live every Saturday and Wednesday: http://bit.ly/watp-patreon https://watp.supercast.tech/  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You know what I watched last night? Not the whole thing. There's an Oasis documentary on Max. Okay. I don't know how familiar you are with the band Oasis. I vaguely, I mean, you know, you know their hits and they used to be huge and they hate each other.

The brothers hate each other. Dude, I got halfway through it. They were getting along fine. Dude, they are the biggest assholes. My wife's like, I don't think I like these guys. I always thought they were pricks, but maybe when we watch this, I'll think differently. No.

No, double down. Oh, there's so much. They're fucking guns. Ricks. Yeah, it's ridiculous. To each other, just everyone to everyone. OK, to each other for sure. Yeah. I like that. What's the story album? Yeah, it's fucking great.

Can get away with being a dick. Amazing. As if you're talented. I should listen to it. You should. Don't look back. You know how popular music just goes. Yeah, that's true. You probably missed it. It's somehow I had found time to get into the Misfits. Yeah, off with the Misfits talk. I'll kick everyone out of here.

The table finally gets flipped. Always wanted to see that. Let's not do that today. All right. Man of Astro Zombies, Chris. I love that song. Yeah. I heard you singing attitude a little bit a couple of episodes ago, Creep Off.

Carl missed it. No, I don't. Kendi had a fucking nose. You know what Benny was doing? Where Eagles there is a good song. Yeah, I agree. I love that one. I agree.

Agreed. Not you, too. It's a pumper. It's a pumper. Deeper Jackals pretty ball or two. I like that song. Welcome to Misfits Talk. Yeah.

Glenn Danza gets the testicles on I was mouthy saying those songs really well. I prefer Michael Graves What? This talk is over. Danza has a better voice. I say good day sir. All right, then I guess we're gonna get this thing started. Once in a great while we are privileged to experience an event so extraordinary. It becomes part of our shared heritage. Episode 500.

Are you a boner guy? Oh, I was a boner guy. You know what I miss penis. What are you talking about? I'm the one who should apologize. Is it gonna be? Absolutely riveting is it gonna change your life by any stretch probably not but it's gonna be at least entertaining Okay, by the way for those people that are in the back Remember to shut the fuck up

I've been dying to say that cuz Cuz a row cuz a row slap a runee It's showtime WATP ATP W-A-T-P. W-A-T-P. W-A-T-P. Hello, everybody, it's the Good to Reads.

Welcome to another episode of Who Are These? podcast, the only show with 499 masterpieces under their belt. I'm your episode 500 host, Carl Hamburger, with me today, a man who is celebrating his 500th pound from the creep up and subred surfing. It's Mini Paulino. Halfway there, everybody. So with us, a man who is as cool as the cucumber

He's sitting on from the all apologies podcast Andy Q public is here. That's stuck shit on kindi's here, too Please go to who are these dot com get our email address voicemail number link to our subreddit leave the discord server link to our merchandise Link to our YouTube channel and the link to patreon supercast featuring two exclusive bonus episodes every single month tomorrow We'll be recording win a date with Lucy Typebox. We have our contestants lined up. We have Lucy lying down. And we will have that for everyone if you sign up on our Patreon Supercast

or become a YouTube member. You get the link to that special episode. Tomorrow at 2 Eastern, we'll be doing also. Tickets are on sale. March 22nd, it's coming up. Couple weeks away. Largo, Florida will be live with the guys from ROTC, as well as Tukey and Cardiff and the whole gang.

Joey C is going to be there. The whole gang of all the seats. He's my favorite. Everyone's going to be there. So W to be live.com is where you want to go to get those tickets. And I actually remind you, I should probably put this banner up to remind everyone to purchase their tickets. It's quality banner.

Joey C is just gonna be there, right? Correct. Okay. Yes. Oh, you'll hear him. Yeah. Joey C is gonna be there. Monique from RadioGunk, Top Lobster from Tower Gang is gonna be there.

It's a whole crew of people hanging out March 22nd. Also, if you do wanna hang out in Vegas, I don't know why you would,, if you do want to hang out in Vegas, I don't know why you would, but if you do. There's not much going on there. Yeah, there's really nothing to do. Hackamania.com, yeah, live podcast, the Hackamania.com is where you can go to your tickets for our live show out in Vegas at the end of May.

Also, we encourage our listeners, give us a five-star review on Apple Podcast and then shit all over us in the comments section. Today, we'll be reviewing a podcast called, well, we'll be reviewing a bunch of podcasts because I asked Vinny and Andy to bring with one of their favorites from the first 500 and present that to us. And you know what Vinny, I'm going to have you go first, my friend, because you brought one of my favorites and that is the Mike O'Mara show. Now, Carl, you and I both were big Don and Mike fans

Correct. Yes. My morning would be Howard Stern I listened to some Don and Mike and then there would be replays of ONA in the evening and I was working all the time I had that stuff on the radio. I was a big Don and Mike fan and when Don retired Mike show fucking cratered and it cratered hard. Yes. So he went solo. He got he stopped doing actual radio. I'm assuming that was probably not his choice. I agree. And he starts podcasting. Now, this has got to be at least he's been doing it at least a decade now, Carl. The

podcast. Yeah. So I want to play for you the intro to his show and tell me what issue you hear about a guy who's been podcasting for over a decade. Michael Mara Radio Entertainment. You can listen to the Michael Mara show at MichaelMarashow.com. Let's get started. It's the Michael Mara show at Michael Mara show.com. Let's get started. It's the Michael Mara show with Michael Mara,

Oscar Santana and Rob Spiewack. Now here's Mike. Rob Spiewack is still with us. I was gonna say, wow. The Spiewack's still with us. And boy, is he a shell of a man that he used to be. No, that's too bad. But I want to point out, the first thing he said is,

Mike O'Mara's show, Radio Entertainment. Yeah, these radio guys, they cannot let go of it. It's interesting because Eric Zane is still looking for radio gigs. I think he does have one or two. Even the Drew and Mike show, they replay their podcast on the weekends on the station out in Detroit.

Like these radio guys just, they feel weird if they're not on the radio or associated with radio somehow. Yeah, it's such a bizarre thing to me because later you're gonna know that Mike is very much aware that he is on a podcast and not on radio but we're gonna get to that and it's a very weird thing that that's in the opening but he opens up the show this episode folks this is their newest episode has kind of a somber tone. Okay. I would call it boring. That would be great.

That was so great you picked it for our 500. No, no, I got you. I got you. So, I want you to see this weird energy and Mike explains to everybody that there is a question that everybody asks him. Hi everybody. It's Thursday and the gang's back together. Yay, hi Oscar. Yay. Hello. Yay, Rob.

Hello America. One of the weird things about this business of show that we're all in is that, you know, part of our jobs, I ask people constantly, probably the number one question that we all get asked. Anybody wanna guess what it is? The question they all get asked. Why are you still doing this?

Yeah, how are you still alive? Before I tried to predict that, I just have to point out, he's always been an old guy. Yeah. But man, he looks like a combination between Barry Ribs and Mike Busciotti. Yeah. Oh, blow, blow, blow.

I mean, when I saw that at first, I was like, is that a muppet? What's going on here? He's got like a titleist old man, golfers hat on in an underarmored spirit, even though I'm positive he's hasn't been to a gym ever. Also, I like that they had to tell Oscar that the show had started,

because he's just looking down. They're like, Oscar, you here? Right? He's like, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's job time. I got it. I'm here. Oscar's wearing a nice blazer, a dress shirt, and then you got Mike in his under armor, and then you got Rob Spiewack under there in a hoodie.

I didn't even recognize Rob Spiewack. He looks completely different to me. But do you guys want to guess what the question that they get asked all the time? I forgot about that. No idea what that would be. Andy, have you ever thought on that? How do you find the show?

Where is the show? Oh, nobody asked for that. How's Don doing? Ah, yes. How's Don doing with his lawsuit? That should be the question. But the answer is stupider than that. Go ahead, Carl.

What's the show about? What's the show about? And it's diminished from podcasting has become part of the fabric of our lives more. So I'm getting less of, is it politics? Is it sports? And I always say the same pad answer, which is busting each other's balls.

When what I really should say is, the show is about our lives, our feelings, our mistakes, our successes, our loves, our... Boring. Boring. It's about just... It's a little long, don't you think? It's boring as shit. I hate that. Yeah.

We're just gonna talk about our days. Do that at home. Yeah. Can you imagine? This is the opening of your show. This is the opening of a show. You've been going 10 years at the things everybody's asked me, what the fuck is this? And his answer is, I don't know. Yeah.

We live, we laugh, we love. So my next clip, though, they start talking about the podcasting angle of things. And Mike, it's a little annoyed at a comparison that Oscar makes, so go ahead. What about, it's like Howard Stern without the sex or the success? That's very funny, but it's also, in the land of branding, I don't wanna take Second Fiddled anybody on that.

I'd rather have, and really, no disrespect to Howard, who's still a mega person. Second Fiddled is a great place to be. I think really, if we're in the world of podcasting we should say it's like Joe Rogan without the complete belief of every conspiracy theory on the on the planet. She you walked right into that one because these guys are so out of touch. They're like radio equals Howard Stern and podcasting equals Joe Rogen I knew it right. I don't know you're not second fiddle

You're not even 50 second fiddle. No, you're way down the list that you are putting your show in Any level with either of them is a crime same. How many views does have on YouTube? Did you look more than subreddit surfing? So at least 30 they're doing great over there. Got it. They're doing well. I mean, I can't argue with them. So what the fuck happened to Rob Schmuelak? Listen to this, Carl. But you know, I always discuss it.

I always decide I say I explain I say we're basically a one hour murder procedural show. What about solve a crime every day? What about this? It's like info wars without the info. And without the war. Jesus Christ. And the jokes.

Yeah. Wow. I hope I hope the executive that you're pitching this elevator pitch. Do it on the top floor because it's taking you all day to explain what your fucking show is about. Other shows that we do, it's a very easy answer. You know, Carl, what's your show about? Vinny, what's your show about? There's an answer. Right.

This is, this is embarrassing. This is the problem though with radio guys. And I've said it many times before, but when you have a frequency and you have a time slot, people will hear you because they get in their car and they have that frequency.

They like the music that station plays or whatever reason. And so it doesn't matter what you do. You just get out and shoot the shit. With a podcast, you actually have to have a format. So people give a fuck about it. Everybody can't show up every day and just turn on the microphones and talk and look at each other

and make anything interesting. That's the problem here. Yes. Here's... Do they have sponsors on this show? Are they making money? They're kind of like bullshit sponsors though. Are they local sponsors? Are they Washington sponsors? I think there's a couple of Washington sponsors and it's a long read. It's always funny.

Jim's landscaping. Yeah, you have to really, really do well by the local advertisers because they know where you live and they'll just say I'm not giving you a check when you show up to pick it up. Like, yeah, but look at, we got 130 views on that last video that we did. You see this picture of these three people. I know I'm playing guessing games, but I told you this was a somber episode. Yes. Something very serious happened to one of these people.

Okay. This week, one of these three men had a stroke. Okay. And as an hospital, I'm not kidding you. I'm not making this up. Would you like to guess which one of them had the stroke? I'm going to guess it's Ross B. Wack. Just because he said that they saw the murder case. Well, yeah, they had to kill someone off this season. The answer is Oscar. Oh my God. Wow. really? I had a stroke. The guy with the nice jacket on who's thinking there's Kylie had a stroke

like three days before this. Jesus. Obviously a little one, but I would tell you something. This Oscar, he's got a future in broadcasting because he could tell a story. Oh good.

Way to hear this Carl.. Number six, please. I wake up. I actually wake up 5.30ish, 5.30am, and I said, well, I'll start the day. I wanted to catch up on a podcast, so I watched it on YouTube. And then I threw on MSNBC. We had a scheduled rough, I think, 8.30 start that morning.

Yep. And I was like, you know, I'm going to surprise the guys and get to work on time today. Isn't that going to be fun? Ta-da. So why? Because I had to do it. Right.

I know I did. I really felt that way. I hit the shower at 7.20. And I know it was early because my wife usually beats me into the bathroom because by design, I only share one bathroom because I'm frugal and saving up for a remodel. Right.

And she said, how long, I was like, it'll be a quick shower, I promise. So she's sitting at the, like, like, what else did you say to her? Like any, what kind of toothpaste did she use? 90s or 80s, commercial. Get to the park. When you have like your wife sitting outside,

or sitting inside the bathroom, like at the door frame, just sitting down, looking at her phone, waiting for me to be done with the restroom. And I wasn't even, by done, I mean, I'm in the shower, doors open, and she's just sitting in the hallway talking to me. Waiting patiently because there's really no, nowhere else for her to be in that size house.

Correct. Well, it's the only room she has. She wanted to jump in the bath as soon as I was done, because we were going to ride into work together. OK. So this is going great. Let's go. So I'm in the shower and it's seven twenty and she's like kind of a moaning. The fact that I can't wait to another bathroom or another shower, then we can both shout at the same time I said that first world problems. We're good. And I'm not

My cracks and my creases and I'm out very good for you things. Did you hear Mike at the end? No. I got something. Yeah, I got it. Going to play the ending. He goes, I really like stories with detail. Okay. I'm serious. For in 10 minutes, I hit all the, all my cracks and my creases and I'm out. Very good for you. Thank you for the. I like stories with detail.

Yeah, they have to have detail. Well, because again, it's a radio guy. He's got to fill time with detail. Yeah, they have to have detail. Well, because again, it's a radio guy. He's got to fill time. Yeah. Yeah, I want to hear all about it. So, 7.20 in the morning, he might be taking a shower, his wife might take a shower first. It's that was two minutes of this guy. Yeah. I'm sorry. But that's what this show is. Okay. They take turns like making hard eye contact while the other one's shitting. They're just like tapping her watch, looking at him. I don't think she likes it very much and I will get to that in a second.

But my next clip is just simply titled, Holy Shit. So at this point, I say to Shannon, and we're mapping out the day. We map out the day every day in the morning. That's just, that's how we do things. Like, we're like, this is what's gonna happen today. We have a calendar in front of us, we lay it all out. And it was not stressful. It was actually a great day, wonderful meeting setup,

everything. Where are they gonna get to the fireworks factory? I know, what the fuck? I'm listening to this guy. I'm just coming up for you. He stands in the shower. His face starts feeling droopy. He starts feeling lightheaded. His wife had a COVID funky blood pressure machine still in the house.

She checked it. It was his blood pressure was sky high. Okay. Blood pressure machine. I guess it was her thing. I don't know. He said I bought it. We bought one during COVID.

I don't fuck it. It's one of those fans. Yeah, I missed it was a thing. I don't know. He said, we bought one during COVID. I don't fuck it. It's one of those fads. Oh, yeah, I missed it. She stuck an anal thermometer up his ass and took his blood pressure. Here's the part I want to point out. His blood pressure is super high. Here's my next clip.

Listen to what Michael Marra says next, Carl. And tell me if you remember a fun fact about Mike. How does that work if we can just, and I hate to be a dummy, but since we're talking about this, all I know is I have good blood pressure, but I don't understand blood pressure. Please, some, so what is the bottom number is,

if the bottom number, it sounds to me like it's low, right? No, my number, didn't mean you have two heart attacks, Maccarole. Yes, and also when you're a guy this age, he's probably going to the doctor all the fucking time. They're constantly checking his blood pressure. And he's like, yeah, I still don't understand it. I don't know, he's two heart attacks.

He doesn't understand blood pressure. Yeah, I just needed to point that out because I was going crazy. Fair enough. This is my last clip because this show is a Snorefest. I want to point out that I don't think Oscar's wife likes him, just like the listeners. I put on pants, I put on a shirt,

get dressed real quick and Shannon does the same. She lets the dog out and then I'm already downstairs, shoes on, wallet, emergency card, everything and keys. And I say, let's go to Shannon and she says, but the dog's still outside. I said, leave the dog. I said, I said, I'm effing dying. And she goes, we can't leave the dog.

So I just left. So I walked out. Good time for an argument. Jumped in the car and drove to G.W. I'm sorry, Georgetown. By yourself. Be clear about this. I by myself, I drove to Georgetown hospital by myself.

Wow. This guy's my hero. She's finally got an excuse to file for divorce. Yeah. It's like, fuck it. I gotta let them fog it. I'm dying. I am dying. Leave the dog Yeah. I got to let you fog it. I'm dying. I'm dying.

You need the dog outside. I got to take care of the dog. Yeah. Yeah. Where's my phone? Where's my phone? She's walking around the house. Isn't the dog being outside of better thing

than leaving your dog? You don't know how long you're going to be gone. Right. Yeah. That's what I would have thought. I could wave goodbye to dad on his way to die at the hospital. Well, listen, she she chose who her favorite family family member was and what are you going to do? It happens.

This show is exactly all of this. Yeah. It is slow and boring and I don't give a shit. I'm glad you're okay, Oscar. I'm not trying to make fun of you having a stroke, but Jesus Christ, you are boring and I felt like I was having one listening to it. How long is this? The show was an hour and a half. I felt like I was having one listening to it. How long is this? The show was an hour and a half.

I feel like having a stroke would be more interesting. Yeah, seriously. Next time can you broadcast that, please? Yeah. Dave Delefie, yours, a member for Seven Months. Congrats on 500, Carl. Thank you, Dave. Ew.

Thank you, and Troy Smith. Hi, kids. Happy 500. FKB, FSJ. Thank you, guys, very much. This must be a joke. Happy 500. FKB. FSJ. Thank you guys very much. This must be a joke. It says Vinny looks great.

Wow. I was just jealous. Good stuff. You just said that because the super fat was over my head. I brought in because I actually had Daniel B. reached out to me and suggested, you know, Carl, you got to take a look at this show again. It's been a while since we've checked out

Boogered Up podcast featuring Nick the Spaz Kid. Yay! Yes, they're still doing it. And this is just a quick example of Nick the Spaz Kid. Gets very excited. They're talking about TV shows that they've been watching. And he gets very excited when another guy is seeing the same show he's seen.

Do you ever see Vice Principles? I fucking loved Vice Principles. I loved anything Danny McBride did bro. Come on. You've seen Vice Principles. Are you guys watching the righteous gemstones? You've seen Vice Principles! I fucking love this guy. There's another stroke coming out. He comes up to over everything. So this is a show. It's hosted by Nick Zespasquez Travis, who's kind of the main host. It seems like Cody doesn't talk much. And now this new guy Matt, who claims to be a comedian, has become the fourth member of the show.

So these guys are doing it from some restaurant or bar somewhere. They have this set up. It's quite a shit. The audio is garbage. I had to boost everything in order to make this listenable. So these guys really, they have a couple things on a board somewhere they refer to, a couple topics they want to get into. We'll talk about that. Like for example, I don't have the clip. For example, they go, do you guys see uh, Trump's shoes that he put out?

Yeah. And Spaz, he goes, no, I don't know what that is. Good stuff guys. Yeah. That's the end of that segment. Oh great. Way to keep on top of things. Yeah, good job. You don't know about Trump shoes. Every fucking one's talking about this. Okay. Whatever that's fine. So they don't really have a lot to talk about. So they're just kind of meandering and shooting the shit. And I always find it a little weird when four guys get together and start talking about their dicks. Like cock talk, I always find a little kid. He's uncomfortable. Yeah, even more so that she wants to be next to me Even worse right now. Oh do respect your mom's total base. It's respectful. It's all respectfully

It's all respect if it's all respectful You can tell you tell you tell the story about how the guy from puddle of mud wanted to take his mom on tour with them Smoke show sorry tour with them smoke show sorry I know all due respect your mom's total baby respect it's all respectful it's all respectful that's okay you can tell just by talking to her I'm like it's a good mom right there I did that no my mom listen my mom no she is that she is a great mom. I guess... No, listen, I got some stories to tell. I was gonna try and like make it seem like she was

Bad for being pissed off at me the other weekend, but I was totally you know in the wrong Cuz you're pissing on her fucking driveway. Yeah, unbelievable. Yeah, but it's like nobody's gonna... You're a grown man. Yeah, but my dick's that small, who's gonna see it? Do you have a small peepee? I think it's small like where you at like are you a length guy a girth guy? Where are you at guys?

Where are you at you a length guy a girth guy? Where are you at? I'll have a question. I've never asked someone before it's insane. I mean this is a compliment. I jacked off to your mom. I Finished inside her I Can't like Carl watching this you had to get really frustrated. Can you guys get back to the hot moms, please? Then it turns into nothing but dick-sized talk and this continues on for some reason You know like the the like the teachers without the rubber bands of like the four or five like Number two pencils on their table and shit. That's what mine. It looks like you got a mushroom head. Don't you? You look like you got a fat fucking head and not not wrong. We're just one straight line

Imagine toad dig looks like a fucking head of broccoli. You're being real quiet. Let's hear about magic I'm a magic toad from Mario, but Broccoli you're being real quiet. Let's hear about magic toad for Mario, but I have a perfect wiener I like the guy goes you're being real quiet over there. Let's hear about your dick At that point, I'm like, I'm not doing this show anymore guys. This is fucking ridiculous. What are we doing right now? My dick is not impressive, but my balls. Let me tell you all about oh actually that's where the stories I decided to ice out this head of broccoli. I'm being real quiet. Let's hear about magic. Oh Hey, hey, you're being real quiet. Yeah, it's here about your dick. I would talk about your dick for a minute

All right, this doesn't end there. There's more cock talk to come. You have a curve? Yeah, mine curves. Which way? To the left. To the left. Oh, mine's more like.

Nox, dude, look at that. You guys go up like that. Dude, I should. Wait, you go up? Oh, you're a sailor, dude? I didn't know. I know. Not like you're thinking.

It's not like straight up. It's not nice. No, but you curve. It's like you're taking off on a plane, dude. It's the motion of the ocean. So you're thinking it's not like straight up, you know, it's not nice No, but you care it's like you're taking off on a plane dude. It's the motion of the ocean So you can ramp it my boy got the fucking pilot you ever take a tech deck and just go up with it and You won't fit a full tech Like the finger roller skates you can grind it Fuck with your honesty, I love that shit. It's cute. I fuck with your honesty. I love that shit.

That's nice. Tell me more about your paintings. The guy's talking about as a wrecked cock because he's being questioned about it. And the guy goes, you ever take a fingerboard and run it like it's a ramp on my erect cock? No, I am not, sir. Great question, though.

If you can fit it in between those wheels, that's horrible. He's, yeah He's very very small. Yeah. Yes. Yeah, you don't want to get the truck Scott your pubes Yeah, I can truck grind a mini a fingerboard on my cock What's crazy is they start off the show saying this alright before we get more involved in this one We won't let you guys know straight up We just got the announcement today another round of applause goes to the goons and the people that are listening subscribing and everything of that nature We are up for best podcast in Cleveland. We are ward Cleveland is an awful player. Yeah.

I actually love Cleveland, but Rock Bottom is not just a clever name. That's where his show is ranked. I'll be sorry. Because Booker Up is doing better for some reason. I gotta bump up the cock talk. Oh, yeah, right. Gary just comes out to talk to us

dick for the next episode. Well, now he's listening. All right. So then they get into just random facts about history because the one guy goes, oh, yeah, I know a lot about history. The other guy's like, I don't know stuff about history at all. And, you know, he doesn't know about the Revolutionary War. And it's like, all this crazy shit. So stupid.

What do you think George Washington's dick is like? I heard he had a wooden dick. Is that true? So this guy, so Spaz Ken. Washington's dick is like. I heard he had a wooden dick. That's true. So this guy, so Spaz kid knows a fact about history. It is very proud of himself. So this is following, following along the same, the lines of the Cold War, what country was involved with the Bay of Pigs? Cuba. Yes.

OK, let's go. go next good at this shit okay that comes out it sums up I don't know shit from fuck history stuff yeah it's a sad you know more than what you think that's why I was like I did pay attention bro I was cuz I was like this is so interesting brown I love history and like so much has changed and like what seems like so long But it's been kind of like little time Dude history bro history history bro dude. I like it so you guys know this thing that's going around where people ask How often do you think about the Roman Empire? Yeah, so so they bring that up and then that turns into Matt spitting more facts about the Roman Empire and

Get ready to learn something people Can you imagine being alive during that time and they all fucked everything animals men fucking men Girls fucking girls girls fucking guys and girls with a horse, crazy. Whoa. They were going crazy. No, they didn't give a fuck. They would literally stick their dicks and put their pussies on anything. Greatest real estate.

Yeah. Are you talking about Sodom and Gomorrah? Basically what he just described. Right in the stepply rivers. He described very basic hetero and homosexual relationships. There he's like, men with men, girls with girls, girls with men. Yeah. Why?

I can't even imagine that. Wow. It wasn't just guys fucking girls, girls were fucking guys. Yeah. Have you ever heard of that? It's just a plot to Caligula. So stupid. Now, the problem with these types of shows, and actually,

Mike O'Mara is probably a good example of this, too. If you don't live an interesting life, you can't just sit down and be interesting. Nothing's going on, you don't have anything to talk about, no anecdotes. Spazkid doesn't realize that. Spazkid decides to tell a story that is so boring and pointless.

I've been noticing more and more panhandlers too around. Oh, shit. Yeah. I've been noticing a lot of them so at work the other day we're going to get lunch and there's this truck hauling a bunch of shit at a stoplight there's a panhandler on the fucking thing and he held his hand out like he was about to give him money but he's like nah bro he wanted a fist bump so we got burned that first time damn Then the next car pulls up and it's a lady and her husband She bends down gets in a purse looks like she's about to get some money

Husbands like no no shit. No, he says you read his lips clear as day. No Dude, what's your fucking ass beat tonight? He's gonna throw his hands up. He's like come on man I was like damn bro Was this a real thing? I thought you were going on a date I thought there was going to be a third one that was going to do something funny Oh yeah no, this was real ass shit I just seen like two days ago God bless

Monday, yeah Monday I love that story That's a real ass shit guys There's a guy who wanted money sitting at the side of the road Wow, a homeless guy got stiffed Yeah, but's a guy who wanted money sitting at the side of the road. Wow, a homeless guy got stiffed. But how is it? Yeah, because Nick. Plot twist. He was a panhandler. Oh, see, there was nothing interesting. He had nowhere to go with that story.

The guy's like, OK, so what's the punch line? Well, and also is he sitting there watching a panhandler for like? Yeah, that's a good point, too. They're just like, oh, watch this. Watch this. This is this is really fascinating stuff. His work is on the opposite corner of the street. I guess So now spaz kid is gonna start interrupting people and yelling a lot

Because that's always good on a podcast. Yeah, we'll get no more wrestling shit on our personal because you know we can talk about it But the other thing I wanted to bring up Tourette's magic anything that excited about something like that. Do it one more time. One more time it'll get funny. It's just yelling out. Literally a grown up beavis. Yeah. Ass-licker dickface! He's cornholio.

I don't know if we noticed, nobody pointed it out. That cup that's empty in the middle of the table at the beginning of the clip package was full of Mountain Dew and now that is gone. Shot out of a yeah. It's shot out of a fucking can. That could be part of the problem. I think you're right about that. And then he's going to crash and get all logy. Yeah.

Come on, Spazzy. We got to go now. So Spazkid starts talking about basketball and he's talking about a game that happened recently. He has no idea what he's talking about. I don't know why his buddies let him off the hook on this stuff. They should really like point at him and say, what the fuck are you talking about. I don't know why his buddies let him off the hook on this stuff They should really like pointed him and say what the fuck you talking about and pointed out

Clint compel the other night just had like 30 rebound. No, no, hold up Joker Someone just had like an insane amount of rebounds the other night, bro I was like, holy fuck. It was like I was like that's gotta be a record Somebody had a bunch of rebounds here tonight. I was like wow It's gotta be a record pretty good pretty good at of rebars there tonight and I was like, wow, it's got to be a record. Pretty good, pretty good anecdote. Pretty good stuff there, guy. Doesn't know what team it was. Doesn't know the number. And these guys are so used to them. They're like, yeah, okay. Yeah. Your turn to say something. Right. They actually go on and they go, okay. So anyway, the Cavaliers are playing and they actually know something about basketball and

have a conversation. They just let him off the hook, which I would not have done. My last clip package here is I mentioned before there's like a board where they have topics they're going to discuss and one of them was Trump's shoes. Another one. This is the last one they get to. This is very exciting. This is how the show concludes is because Spanskid wants to talk about which drawer in his dresser he puts his underwear. I know you guys can't wait to find out the answer to this. It's quite riveting right here. All right, Nick I've been waiting patiently for this whole time for you to bring up your topic on this board here because it is Insane I gotta ask you motherfuckers. Where do you keep your underwear on your dresser drawer? I need to know if I'm crazy

Where do you keep your underwear in your dresser? Yeah in your dresser like in what level of yes, yes top top top Yeah in your dresser like in what level of yes, yes top top There's no shot that it's somewhere else the very tippy, but the very like bottom close to the floor What what I don't know I started doing it in high school. I don't know why Shit in there didn't you know? You mean to tell me you ain't got a dildo in there. So no, I had condoms in there, but I think the same one. They're spire now. I just think it's more convenient because that's the first thing you grab. Yeah, that's the first thing you're going to put on. I'm not going to lie.

I used to always just like swing it open with my foot and like just grab my underwear and just throw it up and catch it. And I just walk on with my day, you know, I was like, I was like, damn, that's like. And they run out of every other topic to talk about and they covered every single thing there is to cover on this show. Do you know this is a train in the background? Yeah, I did notice that.

It's good stuff. It was more interesting. Yeah, it's more interesting that when this guy's talking, what are the trains going? What do we carry? I'd like to be there getting away from this place. Can I catch that train. Imagine if I came on the show, I go, OK, guys, what some of them want to talk to you guys about

where do you keep your underwear, you know, on the dresser? And then I explain that I put it in a on the bottom thing drawer and you pick it up with your toes. Very tippy bottom. Very tippy bottom. Yeah. This guy's a fucking moron. He's a spaz and an idiot. Look at Joe Maggi. What's happening?

Well, I'm like, did you notice when he grabbed that beer from the floor? He completely moved around the microphone like that. They probably told him, don't ever fucking touch her. Touching the microphone. Yes, I broke in a lot of things. Could you imagine if I brought that to this show and I mentioned that no one would have a follow up question for me on that.

But these assholes are like this is fascinating no one would be in the room anymore we're gonna explore this show it's over getting off what give me a give me a rotation if you're going in your dresser like what is the second third fourth what is up to be top of that to be top socks wait I have a lot of socks and undies. Hold on. Why the fuck? How many pairs of socks do you have a lot? I have a lot of socks. That's a great question too. How many pairs of socks do you have? Also, how you doing today? No, my drawers ain't that big. I only have I have six drawers in my dresser. You've been doing this since you were a kid though Yeah, how big is the drawer? I bet it's the same dresser too Vinnie how many pairs of socks do you have I don't know 15 over to start asking people that yeah Ask me

Fuck you That's the correct answer All right, this is my last clip. This is the dumbest conversation I've ever heard on a podcast and I've listened to a lot of really bad podcasts in my day. But they decide that we gotta keep going with this. This is great stuff. So I have six drawers, one, two, three, one, two, three.

Right? Okay. So socks, so the left hand side, this how it goes. Socks, my nice shirts that I like to wear that I'm not gonna hang up. And then my underwear. And then in this one is like work shirts, under armor, like old work clothes.

And then shirts that I don't care about, but I don't wanna get rid of. And then shorts, sweatpants. I don't care about but I don't want to get rid of and then Shorts sweatpants to an alphabetical order. Yeah, dude. It's so confused by you Just put the underwear on the one next to the socks I thought we were talking four rows right here You have six of them and you decide to go bottom. Just put them fucking next to each other. I just go boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.

And that's the way the news goes. Boom. The only thing this room is missing is a therapist. These guys are fucking out of their minds. I can't imagine getting that worked up about this conversation. Yeah, he was outraged this this is War boring than any conversation. I've had in real life, right?

Let alone on air. Yeah, even talking to co-workers. You do not want to talk to definitely don't want to talk about them always more interesting So anyway, that's the podcast I wanted to take a look at again boogered up with my buddy Nick the spaz kid Coming up big for us. Andy, you brought a podcast for us today. This podcast is a perfect storm of the celebrity shows that nobody cares about turning into a nothing show that nobody cares about. Okay. So a nothing show that nobody cares about. Okay. So what I brought was armchair expert,

but this is Dex Shepard and his co-host Monica. I think when they can't get a good guest or maybe it's a midweek show or something like that, it deteriorates into a call-in type of show. Okay. And it couldn't be faker or worse. I don't understand what they're trying to do with it. That sucks. But he sucks. He sucks. He thinks he's like this crazy personality. He's so

interesting. Yeah. Not at all. Oh my god. And it's just becoming even more and so at least you have Bradley Cooper on sometimes. This just deteriorates into him letting his listeners do the heavy lifting. All right, can I just make a prediction real quick? Sure. Or is listeners all middle-aged women? Because his show has the vibe of like a midday talk show. Yeah, there's four people and there are three out of the four are women. Okay. And then the guy was like, I didn't even clip it because it was such a throwaway thing. But I want people to really listen to the fact that a lot of this, it must be PrEP Burger. This is overproduced. None of these things really happened. You can tell by the way that people are telling the story. So nobody talks like this. Like, concisely recapping a story.

It's so overproduced. But Dax had the good sense to bury this theme song that they don't use at the top of the show. But you can tell Dex was like, well, I worked really hard on this theme. So I insisted on including it at the end. So we're going to start at the end and then jump back to the beginning with clip one. But the song for this new show, so here I go, go, go. We're gonna ask some random questions and with the help of Arm Cherry's book, it's in suggestion. On the fire, Rime Dish. On the fire, Rime Dish. Enjoy. Yeah, I don't think he thought anybody would listen that far into the episode.

No, he thinks that's funny. Yeah, he thinks that's good. That's been done a billion times and a thousand times better than that. Yeah. We don't have a theme song theme song. So I think his co-host or producer or somebody must have talked him out of using that at the top because it's not there in the beginning. But what is it at the beginning is a lot of fucking big name ads that they're raking it in with this podcast undeservedly. Yeah.

There's no way they should be getting all this Apple pay money. And this is a Hollywood handbook style ad read. Oh no. Yeah, so clip two. This is how they make their ads cute. I know. And remember how last year on Halloween I was going to go as Apple pay? Yes, I do remember.

I had to scrap it last minute because I didn't plan ahead, but I still think it's a great cost to live, earmark it for a later. I will. Right. Oh, it's so cute. I was gonna be a member. I was gonna be a squatty potty for Halloween because the show is shitty. And I was gonna laugh all the way to the bank. God, it's so bad. But all right, so to get into the show proper, though, the intro and they do that other thing where it's probably a long running gag where they don't use their real name. You're just supposed to know what's happened. I guess you would if you selected to listen to it, but they don't use their real names

and you're going to establish what the topic of the day is in clip three. Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Anonymous. I'm Dan Rather and I'm joined by Mr. Mouse. Hi. Hi. Today we have accidentally naked. Yes. What a topic for him.

Again, he thinks everything he says is cute. Right. That's what I hate about him. Stop being cute. It's fucking obnoxious. Yeah. And it's just confusing and it's not funny. So that's not Dan Rather.

Believe it or not. Just to make it sure. Believe it or not, It wasn't Dan rather. But they're talking. All right. So they call their listeners armed cherries, which is creepy. So all I think it's making me bad about. Yeah. All the armed cherries are going to call in with their accidental nudity stories. Okay. And it's just wholly unbelievable. This is right up, Chef. These are scenarios that probably did happen

to somebody at some point, but you can tell listening to this, that it's a lot of fucking garbage. So just in case we didn't understand, you know, what hex shepherd, he's not funny, he's gonna continue to be not funny in clip four. Yeah, what exciting red hair you have. Thank you very much.

Would we call it red? Well, yeah, it's red. You can ask me if it's natural and my response to that is usually, it said natural red on the box. Okay, right. Also, what kind of question is that? Is it natural?

Yeah, unless you're gonna be comedian and say, does the carpet match the drapes? There's some comedic tone comedic value in that. It's old. Okay. It's retired It's not did anybody see that see that coming from a million miles away really you're not enjoying this You don't think it's a funny comedy podcast Can I go back to the guy talking about a stroke? Yeah Please hey Vinny knock knock Fuck you We are not a yes and the punchline is what college your pussy hair

Jesus okay, so this woman's story is about losing her top on a jet ski these stories are all fabricated horseshit and I saw this on Eastbound and Down. You right, yeah, yeah. I know about this. But this is the part of the story where I realized that it was made up. Ooh. I was not holding on very tightly to the hubby,

and unfortunately, I flew way into the air completely off and right into the sea. Oh, wow. You know, we were pretty far out at this point, so there was a level of panic and terror. I was like, are there sharks? How far out are we? How am I going to get back on?

Yeah, they're not the easiest vessel to re-board. Well, especially when neither one of us realized to turn the vessel off to re-board. He manages to kind of keep it still. But the problem is, as I'm trying to re-board, the jets are pushing me further and further away So I'd get a little close get pushed back get a little close. Just talking about your tits I don't care what you're getting back out of the thing. I thought you were topless. I

Sorry to God I hope a dolphin rapes her What a story but that's not how wave runners and jet skis work If anything there's no flying off of it if you fall off There's a tether that takes the key out But also you have to be throttling it for the jet to be pushing you away. Yeah, so I call bullshit. Yeah, I wish there were sharks in the story. Yeah Kaylee doesn't know Lucy All right, let's get to the tits.

Yeah, sorry. Now you're talking. This is a... Speaking of Lucy. Listen to what... Yeah, let's hear what a creep Dax is about the tits in Clip 6. I get far enough to stand up and all of a sudden I become very obvious to the fact that my bathing suit has completely fallen off me.

Still had the bottom intact. Okay, okay. Just topless. Okay. So there's that. But my double D's were on full display. Oh my gosh. Oh, those lucky observers.

The excited clapping turned up. He's just so happy that she got humiliated publicly and it's like Conclusion of this is like oh everybody for my work trip my boss was there my boss thought and I got that I got a promotion That's how the So this is yeah, like you were saying prep burger or something This is not a collar This is not just a listener calling in and telling the star that're too polished. And they're all like this. And the audio quality is perfect. Yep. Vinny's in his studio and he sounds like shit.

Do I really? No, you sound great buddy. Okay, moving on to the next. You look terrible, which is sound great. This next plant. Far for the course bro. Yeah. Jill is going to tell the next story. This is about her trip to Borneo or somewhere where she had a. Boring, boring. Yo, cool. She had this encounter with a monkey where she was feeding the monkeys.

You can tell it's bullshit because Dax has to explain what the story is about because she's telling it badly. So he's gonna jump in before she even gets to the point. So you know it's made up. Pull my shirt out and I look under and I'm covered in fire ants. Oh my goodness, they were all on the monkey and they fell into your shirt.

They were on the monkey and then they went into me. So then I'm like, you know, freaking out and I'm starting to slap myself. Okay, that's not how fire ants work. They just fell off the monkey and then onto me. And also if you've ever been bitten by a single fire ant, you don't have to fucking look. You'll know about it. You start freaking the fuck out. Yeah.

Well, that's exactly what happens. But I don't understand. So the monkey wasn't bothered by the fuck out. Yeah. Well, that's exactly what happens. But I don't understand. So the monkey wasn't bothered by the fire ants, but you are. And now she's going to get into the next point where she's in such distress over the fire ants that weren't bothering the monkey. They're so painful that she just tears all of her clothes off. Can you help?

You're thinking up a story about when you were accidentally nude at a certain point so we can. You know, I don't think I've ever been accidentally nude. Make something up, please. Bullshit. Make something up. Like these people. But again, these fire ants are very committed

and they're making their way south. So I literally, without thinking, just pull off the shorts in the underwear. Wow. Now you're in a National Geographic shoot. You weren't worried that the ants were going to get in the underwear. Wow. Oh, now you're in a National Geographic shoot. You weren't worried that the ants were going to like get in your vagina. Now you're more exposed. They can crawl up in you. What the? What the?

It doesn't seem like a great strategy. I agree with them on that. Yeah. Sounds kind of stupid. Yeah, I'm not. I'm just sex offender in Borneo now because I got fire ants in my pussy in front of all the kids that were there. And all right, so this is this part of the story where you fully realize that it's completely made up because suddenly they're more worried about the monkeys again and the fact that she's covered in fire ants is not even.

Yeah, moving on. Yeah, yeah. I'm just, oh, I'm done with the fire ants now onto the monkeys. Now it's like a cartoon where they come back and everything's fired. Oh, OK, good. And then he kind of gets up. And then I see the biggest monkey erection.

He's immediately horny. Yes. And I literally, again, can't think of anything to do except just go. Jerk it off. No, no, no. No, thank you. No Red rocket do bullshit. This is such bullshit monkeys don't get horny about it for women female That could have at least ended in some primate rape Please fuck the fire ants out of it. Yeah, yeah, but This monkey thinks she's so hot yeah, and she completely forgets that she's covered in fire ants because yeah the pepula peel of monkeys

Flattered but Spoken for right so that story is garbage then they move on to the the guy calls in with his story But he was he was fucking his girlfriend and then he went into the Shared bathroom and gotten a fight with her roommate just like screaming match. I didn't clip any of it except for Dax introducing this guy on to the show because he comes off like such a gay wad. What else did she think I was gonna comment on because I got a hunch, you know what's coming next? My scar, but that was it.

No, nice biceps. Really nice definition. Thank you very much. But you know what they look like? They look like they're the result of an actual athletic endeavor. Are you a climber or something? I was a climber for a while.

I played tennis in high school. Okay. Yeah, they've got that very athletic tone to look to them. I've never heard someone ask if there are climber before. Well, you're pretty jacked. What are you, a climber? Yeah. What?

That definition looks like- Every guy goes, yes. Yeah, yeah. What? You got the climbers arms, not the H.J. Rest Stop Arms that Dan's used to saying. He's an arm guy expert over here. I like that you set yourself on hand job

when you call this gay one. Yeah. You're all over the place with this shit. All right. The next story, is this the last? I think this is the last one. Please, that would be the last one. This dumb woman decides that she's going to do this.

You could have just said woman. Yeah. She's going to do like a boudoir photo session for a boyfriend in a food court photo booth. Huh. Because that makes perfect sense. No, it doesn't. Andy, I'm going to stop you there and say it doesn't make sense and it sounds like horseshoes. And it's going to continue to make less and less sense.

But she sat down on a bench that had wet paint on it and there was a white stripe down her back. Well, just chased her out. All right. But I decided to go and I'm going to take it like a sexy photo strip in this photo booth. And I'm going to put it as like a bookmark in the book that he was reading. So when he opened to the book, then there's just this

photo strip of good memories. I planned this whole thing. I went and bought some sort of sexy lingerie and I knew that this photo booth was here. It was in the food court area. I was saying, well, I wish people couldn't know what it looks like. I know, it's right out of an 80s California movie.

It's like the epitome of a food court. We know what a photo booth looks like Dax I know what a food court photo booth is Christ. Thank you. This is the dumbest thing ever It's so easy to take photos of yourself now, right? Everyone knows how to do that set your phone up hit the fucking timer Yeah, take photos and I try and say that that it was 2015 so but none of the technology This is where you discover that it's all bullshit based on this is where well Not the fire and to the boulder mark what I know what I mean is each story has a telltale sign

That it's a load of shit and the technology of this story is the telltale sign that this is all bullshit But in clip 12 she's gonna talk about the details of how's going to get all the shots that she needs to get in the amount of time. Yeah, yeah. It takes to be on the phone. Because you only have like 10 seconds in between or whatever. Yeah. Right. All right.

Timing wise, you gotta be quick. So you gotta be on your toes. Thank you for saying that, Monica, because I like you, I'm a planner of things. And so I get in there and I'm like, where's the camera? How long do I have? I gotta rehearse this. I have to sort of figure out where to put my body because like if you wanna get the good stuff

pushed up to the camera, you're kinda having to like get in weird positions. So the opposite of a planner. Correct, yes. And she was doing a handstand so she could get a good shot of her taint in a photo booth. What, where's the camera? Yeah, where's the camera?

I gotta practice it. Well, sit down and look forward. There it is. That's where they put it. Get it, go figure. And clip 13 is the bullshit clip where the details reveal that it's all made up. And I look at them and I'm like, do I need to do a retake? Did they turn out okay? Make sure that ink is dry. I don't want to like smear. What?

Right. Photo ink. A woman with her vagina, I suppose, shouldn't be talking want to like smear. What? Oh, right. I'm talking about photo ink. A woman with her vagina. I suppose she shouldn't be talking about dry or smear. Yeah, that's a good point. Yeah. And did my asshole come out OK? And did I wipe? Yeah. Because of the resolution of this. Right. Because this photo booth was using an inkjet printer and the ink got smeared.

Stupid. Does it matter? There were already two kids in here. Wouldn't it be great if this is what only fans girls had to do? Yes, that would be entertaining. This is what girls on crazy shit have to do. Yeah. Crazy shit.com. I like that idea though. It would be like punked meets Camhouse.

Yeah. Yeah, Dex should look into that. And 14, this is the big reveal. More details, I feel, didn't exist in the timeframe. Yeah, yeah, the act should look into that and 14. This is the big reveal more details I feel didn't exist in the time I just realized I can't believe it took me this long to realize this These are all fat women. Yes. Yeah girl the double D's. Yeah, that's not a good thing, right? That's a big woman right? Very upset with that. Oh my god. You're right. Yeah, people listen to that show. They're fat women

Talking about getting naked on purpose. Yeah, we've uncovered that about all those swingers shows that we've ever covered on this. All those swingers are always idiots. Oh, and I'm making me think of the Hatleys. Damn you. Oh, Jesus. Ratley!

Don't say Hatleys. I could get a smell in my nostril. Smells like Tampa in here. We'll see you in Largo, Florida March 22nd at ETP live.gov for tickets. All right. This is the big reveal, clip 14. This group of three girls goes into the booth. Don't think anything of it. But as they walk in that moment where the lights turn on, the entire backside of the photo booth from ceiling to floor turns into a screen that live streams. Everything no. It's a monitor. No.

Cares. Yeah. Yeah. So seven people at the mall saw that you were naked in the photo booth. Right. Yeah. Your B comes. The old guys getting their dollar coffees in the food court. Kind of thrill to for you on it. Shit. But that's not going to stop Dax from being a creep about it again in clip 15. He better ask her boobs size, because that's what I want.

If I were there because in 95, I guess I was 30. If I was there and then I witnessed this entire thing, first of all, I'd be like, I am so horny for this person obviously that would be my first reaction And then I would go oh god, and she's gonna sit down to eat pizza. So this was a bit of a performance Yeah, I would start thinking there's like an exhibitionism going I would just ask what's happening Is he trying to be funny? Of course. Oh, I would have walked up and said can I get a date by 10 of that? Is he trying to be funny? Of course. Oh, I would have walked up and said, can I get a date by 10 of that?

Really? I'm sure. Sure you would. And then you'd get pepper sprayed, thrown off the pier. By the way, I want to say that Vinny perked up when he said pizza, though. When he was just like, oh, what's going on? It's the most interesting thing about this podcast. It's true now for a little bit there.

But the last clip, every single one of the guests that they had on here had to conclude their story by bending the knee and kissing the ring and telling Dax what a great job he is and how he totally deserves to be married to Kristen Bell. It was like inexplicable. Dax, my kids love your wife. I know, that's what you're saying. Thank you. Can I just tell you how much I absolutely love you guys?

I know everyone does that and I promised I wouldn't geek out but I've been an arm cherry since the beginning. I actually heard you dax on on a Ferris's podcast. Oh, wow. Which brought me to you guys. Oh. Yeah.

Yeah. Everyone has to say how they found him and how great he is. What, how meaningful he is to their lives. That's weird. Well, right. Nobody would ever say that either. No.

Because it's all useless. And that's our chair expert. That's what they're up to now. We all found really terrible podcasts to listen to for episode 500. Good on us, guys. Sorry, everybody. Good on us, fellas. Vinny, I'm going to let you go in a little bit, but I want you to stick around

because we had a very awesome video put together by Jody B. Mr. Magenta and Thoreau and Ed the editor all collapsed on this project to congratulate us on 500 episodes. And I'm going to play that. I also want to bring Missy B on the show. Missy B, welcome to WTP 500. Hey, congratulations. Thank you very much.

And thank you for being here. Missy had to move things around in their schedule for us today. Okay. So I very much appreciate that. I mean, you told me we're playing to catch a dabbler, right? That's why I'm here. Yeah, that's right. Yes.

Actually, I do have a to catch an alien. But no, Missy B is here because if you saw point dabble point yesterday, you know that John went off on Keanu and Missy B because Missy was on Keanu cast talking about John a little bit. And Missy has not seen it yet. No, I swear I I I had no interest. Yeah, so we're gonna get her reaction in real time. But but first check this out. I saw this last night and it was pretty blown away. It's fantastic. You gotta love Vinny Carlino. Tomorrow might be another day. Yeah,

our media guys. Hey, let's go to our media. Do I I'm 100% Armenian. Shut the fuck up, ass-wife and suck my car. It's a podcast review show. It's a podcast review show. It's a fuffin' and crooked teeth and a W-A-T-P. It's scary. Join us as we cover the shittiest podcasters on the internet, along with some embarrassing locale phenomenon. Gavler discretion is advised. I can't get enough dicks in my body. Oh, guys, guys, we, we forgot about Andy. Uh, uh, let's, uh, let's talk shit.

W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. Ah, Carl, I love you. Go fuck yourselves.

Have a good week. There's a girl on the internet. Fantastic job. That is wonderful and I really appreciate it. Again, Jody B, Mr. Magenta, Adam Throne, and the editor all collabing on that and putting that together. Much appreciated. Great job, guys. I really do appreciate that. Fantastic. Also, we have a message from Cardiff

Electric. I have not watched this yet. Of course, Cardiff is coming into town or is in town for behind you right now. He might be. He's in town for subreddit surfing alive tonight at the Carlson tickets still available. If you want to come, we'll all be there. So let's see what Cardiff has for come. There's a couple left. We'll all be there. So let's see what Cardiff has for us. Oh, hi, Carl. It's me, your pal, Cardiff Electric. Congratulations on 500 episodes. Thanks.

You've done it. They said it couldn't be done, but you proved them all wrong. Good for you. You overcame so many obstacles. I mean, the feet, the teeth, napgate. Boy, you've survived it all. You're an inspiration.

A true inspiration. Where you going with this? If there's a kid out there right now watching this, I want you to know that anyone, literally anyone can put out 500 episodes of a podcast. Go get him, kid. Also, Carl, you're a cunt. Sit, Eugene. She.

Well, kind of really putting in the work of that one. I do have a cringe of the week, but it's it's longer. We'll play it later. Play it later in the show. We got a lot to get to today. We have another special guest popping out in a little bit, but I really want to get to the Stuttering John package that I have here for Missy Vinnie. Like I said, if you want to hang out, you can. If you got to get prepped for the show tonight. That's cool too. I got a little bit more time. All right. But you know what though? I am just, I'm going to bow out. You guys start a fresh segment. I'll see you guys later. Thank you everybody. It's been fun. Happy 500 episodes, Carl. It's been a blast. Yes, buddy.

And you, you can catch me touring with Joe Matrice. Bye guys. All right. I'll see you tonight. catch me touring with Joe Matrice. Bye guys. It starts off my first clip here. So John did a show on Thursday. He had Richard Ojeda on. Then he had Ian Halpern was his guest. And then he's sitting there and he's like, No, I haven't watched this yet. But my buddy Chris tells me that Keanu was trashing me on his show. And so this is John, remember,

John is the best show in all the devil verse. This is the best show. All right, now Keanu is saying she didn't say anything. Notice the tear in his collar. He looks like a heroin addict waiting for a bus. Yeah, yeah. John is the guy who claimed that he goes to Salvation Army because he has so many shirts.

Yeah. And he has to donate them. Meanwhile, he's wearing a shirt on the internet with a tear in the collar. Is that tea stained or did he actually get it out of a dumpster? That's a good question, too. Could it be both? Dumpster juice.

have a dumpster. That's a good question to dumpster juice. Wait for. Oh my god. How do I fucking? Oh, wait. I got it. He's on his phone. I don't know what he's doing. He doesn't either. how do I do this? It's got to be my do this All right, I'll just show it home on and show it from his phone Cancel this

Okay, oh he actually does That is right to me though. What is Ray Devito with his laundry basket. You got to be a real fucking loser to do your laundry. All right. It was worth it. Close. The payoff was worth it. I'll give it to him.

So we spent all that time trip waiting for a photo on his phone. Yeah, I just zero prep for a show. It's so bad. How do you fuck up looking up a photo? I don't know. Wait, can I just say right there is the greatest people need to now green screen that screen with him holding it with his icky fingers? Yeah, that's a great every pause you've ever done in the last 500 episodes or whenever he showed his face have been gold. Yeah, we can put in some CP on here. He's got the FBI involved. Bold yeah, we can put in some CP on here All right, so John is

Concerned cuz him and Keanu are friends they get along so well He's been on her show. She's been on his show. They met in AC. They got along really well, so he doesn't know what's going on here Okay Too late I did that. Okay, let me get Keanu here. I love Keanu. I don't, you know, I don't wanna, you know, say bad. Let me, see, this is my problem. My friend Chris winds me up.

Keanu called you a scumbag. And I'm like, what? Keanu called you a scumbag. I'm like, what? Keanu called you a scumbag. We know this. Move. Are you kidding me? I'm like, what? Oh, he did what's talking about her ass.

I immediately, what? Email Gino and go, hey Gino, watch Keanu Tresmen, I've been nothing but nice to him. So first off, I have to pause it there. John had his friend tell him that Keanu said he was a scumbag. So he immediately emailed Geno and said, hey, how come Keanu called me a scumbag?

There's no in between. It doesn't make any fucking sense at all. I was talking to Keanu and Geno about this yesterday on Point Devil Point. They both joined us on the show. It's like, Keanu's like, he has my number. He's called me before. He's texted with me. I don't know.

Why is he reaching out to Gino? It's like he's tantal tantal like or something. Just so you know, your fiance saying mean things about me and we're friends. Get her in line. It sounds awfully misogynistic. Yeah. Don't you think? It's crazy.

Classic John, no. Like, I mean, I like Keanu, but she's a dirty con. Yeah. Well, he turns very quickly. Oh, I know. He will. But also just the idea that he doesn't even look it up first. He's just told something by a guy and decides to just immediately

reach out to Gino. Like, check that out. Then turns out, I wouldn't say anything. So it's like, I don't know why everyone has to wind me up. You know, it's crazy. Everyone likes to get me mad. You don't know why? You don't know who want to wind you up, it's crazy. Everyone likes to get me mad. You don't know why you don't know. I want to wind you up, John.

OK, well, I guess you'll never learn. It's the only good thing about you. So Missy, I hope you brought your thick skin with you today. Oh, my gosh. Oh, yeah, John starts it even before he watches this. He starts it right away at you. Let's go. But here it is. Let's see what. Let's see what Keanu said.

I don't think she said, oh, her mom looks hot. I'm going to beat one off to a mom tonight. Yes, our buddy Carl's show. And by the way, you're always great on there and I left. Who is this fucking ugly broad, this missy big? Well, he doesn't remember me. Who is this fucking ugly broad this missy be He's so bad at this who is this ugly broad yeah Any woman who would never have the time of day for him is ugly correct sixth grade all over again Yes, I don't even like her she's ugly. It's like he doesn't know who missy B is who's he's met multiple times in person

It's only hockey girl friend like narcissists. That's what they do. They take the highest good and they invert it It's just common common. So it's like I can't wait this. I'm this is so exciting. Yeah, okay So I'm sure it goes to it. She's a fat pig There's a lot of obesity under here guys Right. There's a lot of obesity under here, guys. It's amazing that John understands why Missy B makes fun of John. And it's not because John is goofable in every single way. And it's a lot of fun to go find him. No, no, no, no. There's there's a there's a very good reason for it.

I can get along with anybody. I can get along with John Melendez. He's a complete like a universal solvent.. You're just the easy water of, of... Oh, you know what? Missy, I know you're calling me his girlfriend. Oh, nice. And I know you got a total fucking company line for Pocky. You're about 40 years younger than him. And I get it.

You got to fucking trash me because you're fucking racist, homophobic, transphobic, anti-fascist, And I get it. You gotta fucking trash me because you're fucking racist homophobic Transphobic anti-Semitic fucking boyfriend doesn't like me anymore Why don't you grow a pair? Seriously, why don't you just fucking stand up yourself and go? You know what Anthony? I'm not gonna get into the fucking weeds with Son of a

John. Because you know what? I'm going to come back to your heart. The weeds. I know what he was talking about. He's in a restaurant. Doesn't make any sense. Honestly, like if I had a if to get ants attention was strictly to shit on john, then like I need to reevaluate this last 10 years with, you know, like, what is that? What is a relationship based on if it's not on John?

In John's mind and Kevin Brennan thinks this way too, it's like if you go after someone it's because you're trying to please someone else. See, I mean to this person too, we friends now? That's how anyone lives their life. I'd have way more friends. Yeah, no shit You've zero friends And it was so telling he goes cuz your boyfriend doesn't like me anymore anymore Listen we all I mean he said he didn't know who I was and now he says he knows who I am Yeah, I mean must remember that I met him and my hatred towards him is because of the in-person experience that I had to endure

so that actually is going to set up this next clip because you could explain this to him now Yeah, look oh, oh, sir. Okay him saying okay Okay Missy, what have I done to you? What have I ever fucking done to you? seriously You claim I hit on you. Okay? If I did

Okay, what's so bad about that? I mean that should be a compliment right not coming from you God your report So that what did I do to you? But you gotta follow, you gotta fucking draw the lines of connect all the dots to Pocky's face, and then you have to fucking trash me because Pocky don't like me. It's so fucking transparent and pathetic,

and you're not smart. You probably never graduated high school. Probably never graduated college. Missy comments. I mean, I don't need to prove anything to him. I do have a lot of, you know, like student loan debt I could say otherwise. But, you know, like I did all the things, but I, again, I don't think I need to prove that.

No, no, no. Don't look at that part. That's the dumbest thing is what to prove that. No, no, no. Don't be coming on that part. That's the dumbest thing is what John keeps doing. No, no, you probably didn't. You probably didn't. You're not small like me. I have a degree, so I'm small. Your lady brain didn't do any of the things that Stuttering John Melendez has done. Anthony's got millions of dollars, but you know what? Never graduated high school. Yeah. John said he's more famous than Anthony, too. Out of this episode, I don't have that. He did. Yeah. Oh, John said he's more famous than Anthony do. I have this episode. I don't have that. He didn't. Yeah.

It's so insane. So, uh, John said he never did anything to you, Missy, and that you should be very nice to him. OK. You disagree with that? I mean, I went when I left, uh, that awful event that you can call stand up when we watched it. He he I just couldn't I did did the, I'm watching you, you fucking piece of shit before I left.

Like, he knows I don't like him, but you know, he just, whatever, it's, this is great. Continue, please. I'm loving this. He just can't fathom that more than one person would not like him. Yeah. He's like, she only doesn't like me

because Anthony doesn't like Ryan. He just needs more like him. Yeah. She only doesn't like me because Anthony doesn't like. He just needs more like villains. He just needs more to help validate him and that that's that's all this is. So he just. Yeah. He loves being a victim and it's never his fault. That's what it comes down to. It's like he was like. Yeah.

It's a martyrism. The cry bully as Ph Phil used to point out All right, let's get back to this The douche baggery out of anybody I can quell it I can quell it all uh john melinda somebody had me on or I guess I Bisconti Popped on his show and then he came on my show and obviously the man's trying to impress me and be like

Sushi It's okay Kiana, I'm not trying to impress you. I'm being me. I'm being nice Now I'm trying to impress you. Are you any fucking mind? You don't think I've been with hot women? My fucking ex-wife was hotter than you. My fucking ex-girlfriend's hotter than you. My fucking girl, you know how many,

I was gonna play with my centerfold, Keanu. You're not that impressive to me. I will, wait, so now he doesn't like her anymore? No, because he's been with hotter girls. Because everyone knows that once you sleep with a girl who's hotter, then you don't like any of the other girls that are less hot than her for the rest of your life That's how that works. You're never trying to get laid by someone who's less hot ever again And I like the Keanu's response to it yesterday. I point out what she goes John. What's a centerfold?

She's a little too young for you. Yeah, but man. Yeah. But yeah, so John now is saying, so he's already getting fired up. All she said was he's trying to impress me. He was trying to impress her. He went on her show, asked her if she had a college degree, only because he wanted to say, I have a degree from NYU, and he's throwing out his credits like he always does. He's always trying to impress everyone with his credits

because he's in a 500 square foot apartment, studio apartment in the valley, and he's wearing a shirt that's torn up. And so he's like, I used- And he stole from his brother. I used to be something. It's the only thing he could say. I know I look like I work at the Goodwill,

but I actually have a degree from NYU. I just need to bring it up. And it's the Salvation Army is where I work, not the Goodwill. Just so you know. But I also have a degree it up. Yeah, it's the salvation army is where I work. Not the good will. Just so you know. But I also have a degree from there. OK, so this is where Jagged is pretty upset here. I could handle the douchebaggery.

What douchebaggery, Keanu? Holy shit. Literally that line. Are amazing. Yeah, he's still reacting to what we just saw, okay? Yes. That's all they said was, Missy goes, you can handle the douche bag,

she goes, oh yeah, I can handle all the douche bagry and John's already losing his mind. Keep in mind, the closer he gets to his camera, the more full of shit and performative he is. Yes, correct. Every time. This is all an act. That's the metric.

Yeah. Are amazing. I was nothing but a gentleman. I was as kind as fuck to her Kind as fuck to a boyfriend Kind as fuck to Chad. I was just the normal Stuttering John that everybody knows and loves that everybody knows and loves when they get to meet me. And look at your mouth. I love it.

Everybody knows and loves. There's a giant community of people, all goofing out of me now, stop. But everyone loves me, obviously. Yeah. We'll see March 10th, that when you're supposed to show up and meet all those people.

Right, yeah, where are you this week, Johnny? Supposed to be here, buddy. All right, so he's still reacting to that same clip that we saw This is worse than I thought Fucking on the rage girlfriend. I gotta hit I gotta listen to you trashing me Yeah, you don't have to missy underage and you've been dating athlete for 10 years So we're gonna order you when you started dating that? I mean, I didn't graduate high school.

I didn't even go to elementary school. I just went right to Rosalind Heights. My dad should be there. He's like, I'm a big ONA fan. Go get him, girl. I got to listen to you trashing me. You don't have to. Yeah. Oh, my God.

Don't get me started with you. Okay? Oh no guys. That's such an opie thing. You want to go there? You don't want to go there? Yeah. It's fine.

I mean I'm a lieutenant in the Salvation Army. You don't want to start a war with me. That's the SJ Army. You know, I got bigger fish to fry. You don't want to start with me. That's the SJ army. You know I got bigger fish to fry You know what I said with me. I got bigger fish to fry Well, why are you watching this clip and responding to it? Yeah, you got you started very small of you Okay All right, so after this he goes off on Mike Buschetti for no reason at all because Mike is a just a bad person

He's a monster angry forget Forget who he's angry at. He starts yelling and spraying it everywhere. So then after he gets refocusing, he's like, that's right, I'm mad at Missy. Wait, wait, wait, hold on. I'm really confused. What about Mike Bichetti? Like, we weren't talking about him.

No, no, no. No, it made no sense at all. It was a total non sequitur. And I have a clip where he goes off on him again in a little while. It makes no sense. But John, he has his enemies of the day or of the week and he cycles through all of his enemies. Fortunately, I get to be in that list pretty often. And then guys like Mike Buschetti get thrown in

and Missy B and Keanu every now and again. Next week it'll be back to Ray DeVito or Stevie Lou or whatever. Yes, with new nicknames. So we're still reacting to that same clip that we just saw. She's gonna, and look how annoying Kumi is girlfriend looks. Little snobby little bitch. And now I gotta get, now you're gonna, oh, douche baggery. You got to handle me now. Oh, I can handle it. What did I do?

What did I say? What? What did I say? What? What did I say? I said, once I beat off to you in the morning. He's talking to the kids. Once you've repeated it like a bunch of times. But also this thing that John does, he doesn't want to have a conversation with anyone.

Sure. But he pretends that he is. He pretends he's talking. He's like waiting for an answer. What did I do to you? Oh, the cat's got your tongue. Huh? Yeah, right. Probably saw the roaches got your tongue. Huh? Yeah, right.

The roaches on the wall. Fucking idiot. He's so stupid. But I like that Missy's just sitting there smiling. He's like, what a snobby little bitch. Remember the kid who's got a punchable face, the kid with the Trump hat with the Indian guy. Like perfect example of that. This is now John turning on Keanu. And this is so predictable.

Remember Keanu is the girl wearing the leather pants that John was so turned on by. He had a J.O. a day later. Get over yourself Keanu. Get over yourself. You're a diamond dozen. You're not that hot. You don't have a great body.

Shut up. So douchey. a dozen you're not that hot you don't have a great body shut up so do she but I so do she fucking those complete rake step so that she could shit on him right after that perfect timing right there It's so stupid and so and I'll use John's word Transparent that he thought she was hot and then she goes yeah, he's kind of a douchebag He's like you're not hot at all. Yeah, I do a terrible body. Yeah. Yeah So not hot that I drink after the thought of somebody wearing clothes. Yeah, we need one of those flashbacks right so You got the thought of somebody wearing clothes. Yeah, we need one of those flashbacks.

Right. So for some reason, Missy is now ugly and Keanu doesn't have a hot body. OK, sure. Right. Well, I'll play along. I'm sure we're all that do what's happening right here. Why not? So Superman. He's so he's rewatching the same part again. He's really bad at scrubbing. He doesn't understand precise scrubbing. So he scrubs back way too far and then he watches the whole thing again. He's never scrubbed anything.

Very bad at scrubbing. Good point. Producer Chris, every time he does their favorite drops. So he rewatches the same part again and again is upset about the same thing. I guess I, Bisconti popped on his show and then he came on my show and obviously the man's trying to impress me and be like, uh, Obviously, I'm trying to impress you. That's what she said. He did this already. Did she just not remember from 30 seconds ago? No, he just, he doesn't have comebacks.

Yeah. So he's going gonna say it a few times Do you think I give a frog's fat ass? About impressing you Yes, I think you want to fuck her John You'd explain your entire fantasy when you were jerking off to her about how you guys were reading books together at first And you want to dinner that you guys were about how you guys were reading books together at first and you went to dinner, that you guys were reading books.

He had all these details. Came inside her. Came inside her and tried to start a family? It was nuts. And now he's like, girls are yucky. You think I'm trying to oppress you? Yes, obviously. And he never has a comeback.

That's why I have to repeat the thing he just heard. Cause he's got nothing else. So now he gets very mean. Now he's, he's hurt. So he's gonna get nasty now. You're an only fan's fucking prostitute. That's all you are. And believe me, I don't fucking have to impress you.

Oh, God, I can't. And don't say you don't show everything on your only fans because you do. Did he just spit on you, Kendi? Yeah. I can't take his... His mouth? His blood hole mouth? There's so many things disgusting about him,

but his mouth is the worst, and not just because of the shit that comes out of it. He does the turtleneck, you know, the snapping turtleneck. He's got that, and, oh, just... The way he said fans reminded me of Joan Crawford in Mommy Dearest, she's just like, why can't you give me the respect that I'm done on two? And she goes, because I'm not one of your f-s!

You wound up that F. I thought you were going to say it reminds you of the fact that he has none. Every time. Every time. I want to play this again at the end of this. You. And don't say you don't show everything on your only fans because you do. Oh, there's someone who's been Googling Keanu Thompson. Yeah, yeah. Only fans.

It's a fan. Yeah, it's the only show prep he does. Yes. I love that. It's like, well, you just got to let it out of the bag there, Johnny. Do want to impress her, I would imagine. You's like, well, you just kind of let it out of the bag there. Johnny, do you want to impress her? I would imagine you're looking at her nude. Vince needs to send him a no ma'am shirt. Yes. That's what he needs right now.

That's what he's at right now. So now, because you know how he likes to yell at people who aren't there, can't respond. Now he's going to yell at Gino. Gino, was I trying to impress her? No. Was I being nice? Yes. Gino, was I trying to impress her? No. Was I being nice? Yes. Gino, look.

She drew first blood. Are you watching this, Gino? Are you watching this? Cause I am. And I ain't happy about it. I'm not happy. I'm glad my buddy Chris fucking show me this. Cause I ain't happy about it.

You fuck. John Strick she's a guy who actually has imaginary friends. Yeah. Yeah. The way he's talking to Geno right now. Well, does he think Geno's going to take his side? I don't know what he thinks. He loves talking. Maybe if he yells loud enough, I don't know.

It's insane. Okay. So then, like I enough, I don't know. It's insane. Okay. So then, like I said, he goes off about Mike Bichetti for some reason. I mean, this is literally in the middle of this rant where he's all hurt and offended that Missy B and Keanu are making fun of him. He goes off on Mike Bichetti. He's got a fun nickname for him now. It doesn't matter.

I can fucking, look, I flew out the guy who's fucking half to fucking California on my own dime, put him up, feed him. And believe me, feeding special head is a lot of money. Special head. Get it, audition for my Asian, fucking audition for the fucking Tonight Show, fucking producer, and get him on the fucking list,

he's passed! Put him on the road with me, and yes, bo shetty special head, I did. I am the one who got you on stern, because I was still there when you were on stern and Sal and Richard weren't so you just because you you're you're too stupid to remember it Doesn't mean it didn't happen. Oh My god, he is let's forget about that. Let's just focus on the real issue. I Flew you to fuck out on my own dawn and what do you do to me time and time again? You give it to me up the ass

You're a fucking traitor you're a fucking coward Fuck you special head and fuck you Keanu. Oh, okay. We're back on track. Oh, I didn't tell you to fuck off. You got more covered your way. Oh, yeah. Hey, woohoo. But what an amazing thing, like manipulating with compassion, claiming that he needs it and also claiming that he gives it.

Yes. Out of here. Yes. Like we know your games, you're an evil man. That is tropes of an evil, evil man. Well, to your point, Chris, it's pretty obvious that this is performative John. He's getting really close to the camera. He's got it zoomed in. He's making all the actions and everything like that.

But it's like he had to bring up Mike Bushetti to get himself worked up. Cause he hasn't watched anything that he could react like this yet. So he he's got to get himself all worked up. But he knows the clip because no one's really done anything wrong. Right. So he's looking at him. Like we all know he's looking at himself when he does this. This is psycho shit.

Yes. This is already Boko doing the fight for the French guy. Bitch. And like this is what he's doing. This is psychotic behavior. You looking at me? Are you looking at me? Are you talking about my kids? How do I look? His mirror.

I do not want to see any of his mirrors. You know how like you have a little toothpaste on yours. His is probably coated. You probably can't even see it. He thinks he's seeing somebody else. It's a window, but it's just this dirty, dirty mirror. That explains a lot. Let's get back on track.

Let's talk about the real villain here, obviously. Keanu, let's get back on that. Oh, but you and Pocky's girlfriend. So you gotta join the bandwagon, don't ya? Cause you gotta impress Pocky's girlfriend. Cause Pocky's girlfriend, fucking Gino works for Pocky. You got to fucking throw me under the bus for fucking Pocky.

Fuck you, Keanu. Oh, a finger and all. Fuck you. The most insulting thing is that he acts like Keanu can't have her own thoughts in her head. That she has to sit there. Well, she's a woman and clearly that's what he thinks about women. Yes. That's enough talking about you. But she didn't. She really didn't say anything.

No, so far, you've seen anything that would get of this upset. He's just doing his own version of Kumiya's cucks now. Yes. It's like he's one step away from being zoomed out. Yeah. Just overreacting in nonsense. It's not that interesting at all But finally we do get to an insult and this is the insult that shook the dabble verse But I I can't help myself that I find it entertaining you just talked to him like a fucking kindergartener. Oh my god. Oh

My god taking a back You know, let me point something out because John scrubbed the video way back, watched the whole thing over again. And so he saw her say that and then he goes, what? And then scrubs it back and watches the whole thing again. Yeah. So he knew that was coming up because he was like waiting like, how am I going to react to this? So then he had it in his head. Then he's heard it again.

He's like, oh, I pause it right there. You talk to me like a kindergartner. Oh My god, his soul left his body you talk to me like a kindergartner. Yes, Keanu Keanu, I ain't no kindergarten. Okay double negative. I'm not a kindergartner Keanu, I can run circles around you when it comes to intelligence. On the playground. Okay. Certainly not physically.

So that apparently was the most insulting thing you could say to Jan is that you're talking to him like he's a kindergarten. It's one of the more insulting things you could say to a is that you're talking to him like he's a kindergarten. It's one of the more insulting things you could say to a kindergarten. Yes. He really is letting us know. It's so great. Yeah. He wants to be respected for his intelligence.

I think that's the thing that really gets under his skin the most is when you say, you're kind of an idiot. Yeah. He gets very upset about that. I've been done for. Well, I lost my looks. That's evident. So I have to lead in my intelligence.

Right. God. So this is the way he gets back at someone saying that he's a dummy. You're nothing but a two-bit whore. Got it? Yeah, I said it. Oh. You're fucking on only fans and you're charging people so you can show your naked body. And you're talking to me like a kindergarten kindergarten. You got to be fucking kidding me. Okay.

So he's not shaming. Yeah. He's 100% Mr. Progressive over here is not a slut shaming, but he's also mad that she's charging money. You must be really stupid if you're hot and you're using that to get money. Yeah. He's jealous because he could never do that.

All he could do is let people make fun of him on the internet for money. Right. Nobody would give him any money for being hot ever. Yeah, that's a good point. When you talk about being a whore, John literally pimps himself out there and reads Superchance. People just goofing at him and his family. And that's how he makes a living now. That's way more embarrassing than being a hot chick

and showing your body. Yeah, that's so embarrassing. He should go on Onlyfans and use his crooked, ugly finger and do like finger pains. Aw. And that's it, but never shows face. Probably actually good to make weird funny videos. You know what I want to see him do next is have like a dunking

booth backdrop and just rotten tomato. You buy rotten tomatoes. Yeah. Digital tomatoes throwing and just rotten tomato, you buy rotten tomatoes, like they're digital tomatoes throwing and just like hitting him in the face. Cause that's what he's doing right now. That's his job is to let people throw tomatoes at him. We actually, that was pitched to Chad Zubak

to come to DabbleCon and just sit in that dunk tank. Yeah. Oh, for real though. For real? Yeah, we asked Chad to be with you. I would have spent a lot of money on that. Oh, my God. Well, give me 50% of the proceeds.

Okay. Yeah. I'll give him more. I'll be like 80. Yeah. All right. So this is hilarious because what Keanu's explaining here is how she has to stroke John's ego whenever she talks to him, which everyone does or she gets very much shot.

You don't just stroke anything of John. Exactly. But listen to what John says. It's so stupid. And then he'd be like, yeah, well, yet I call him, well, you're the prom king of the dabble verse. Hey, you called me that. I don't give a shit when you call me. Get it right, the Duke of the Dabble Verse.

She calls him the prom king of the dabble verse. He goes, I don't care what you call me, but get it right. I'm the Duke of the Dabble Verse. What't care what you call me but get it right Not that long ago that he hated the the word dabble and all that like he's embraced it now and then he was Yes, now he's a goat now. He's the Duke the Duke of the devil. He's Alright missy coming back on you now. Okay. I hope you're ready for this. This is going to get pretty hurtful. It's got so airy. You insulted kindergarteners with that. They are smart. Oh, look at you. Pocky's fucking sperm receptacle. Look at you, sperm receptacle. You got to

now fucking put me down. Look at Keanu. Let's trash, John. They do seem to be having fun. I love making Keegie laugh. I love John trying to figure out what the insult's going to be. I got to watch that again. What do you call me? Look at you. Pocky's fucking...

So quick out of speed. Oh, the ever popular. The one thing you should be good at is insults. It's all he throws out all day long. That's all he's received his whole life. Yes. Can't go up with an insult. All right, we got a couple more clips to play.

I do want to bring on Dick Masterson, because he's here. Whoa. We got a package. I've been wanting to meet Dick. Hey, what's happening? What's up, package? Your hair's looking, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh.

I've seen better. How dare you, Dick Masterson? Wow, what a piece of shit this guy is. And the funny thing is he paused the video to say that Roaster pause Darkness my old friend nothing for it It's good stuff anyway. Yeah, meet Missy B. Missy B. meet Dick Masterson. Hi, Missy. How's it going? Oh, thanks. All right. So now you

and Keanu are going to do your guys starting John Impressions. And John gets very upset about this. Because he's always been nice to me and it doesn't offend me when he's like, Keanu, windows, leather pants. I definitely jerked off to her. Oh my god. I You know what this is the reason why men need Viagra You're fatter than hell you can't get an erection that's why Not the two skinny girls That's why we go The look on his face though when they were saying that he was just like so this one right here shock

John if you need Viagra for either of those two girls, you're probably gay. Yeah, that was shit. All right. After this, so he's playing all this stuff, he's reacting to, he's getting all upset, Keanu asks him for the link so she can come on the show. So he sends it to her, she comes on the show, and John, I apologize.

Just apologizes to him immediately. We were just having lighthearted fun we didn't I wasn't trying to upset you you know you will always been great at the shows and this is how John handles her coming on the show. I really I want to apologize if that's OK with you number 2. The next time you all missy be pockies fucking. The next time you're on with Missy B, Pocky's fucking new sperm receptacle

who pays your husband to be on his network. She's got a new sperm receptacle. She's been around forever. And I love her and I love Anthony. So imagine my dismay. It all comes from your relationship with Pocky. What's that? What's that? She knows y'all get the background.

If he calls a Pocky, one more fucking time. It's all spurs from your relationship with Pocky. That's why you love them. They're two of our friends. That's why you had to take this fucking line. You had to just say, okay, I'm gonna trust John because Pocky doesn't like John. Also, he has great skin and he's looking wonderful. So I disavow when you say that. But you know,

my betrothed. This is another thing that John does. He makes fun of Keanu for using British phrases, which is something that John does all the fucking time. It's an outrage. Hell, fucking hell. So I shag this girl go to dick John likes to hang out at this British pub and so because of that he has an accent kind of like how Madonna got an accent from living in nd

He got one from drinking an alcoholic How big of an alcoholic are you well the closest bars of British pubs so I got a British accent now I was saying this before the show started, but I was watching that Oasis doc last night, and every time they said fucking hell, it was triggering me up like, oh, I can't stand that phrase now. It's alcoholic code switching. Right. And he still managed to develop the lowest class British accent possible.

Right. Yeah. That's amazing. It's perfectly translated. I'm sorry, I have a... Okay. Hey hey John, I'm so sorry Fucking it's just it's just enough Watch this walker. I don't want to hear from this fucking crump again So he's mad that she called him immature

She comes out to apologize. He kicks her off and then blocks her immediately. I don't want to get a text from her ever again blocked. That's very immature of you. Yeah, I think he's doing her a favor. Jesus. Yeah, no shit. That's for sure. So I just thought that was funny that John kind of proved

that he should be treated like a kindergartener. One more clip that I have for you guys. I think you guys are going to find this fun and kind of watch out for this. Now, I know about you guys, but, you know, everybody sneezes from time to time. And what I like to do is cover my face when I do that. I know it sounds crazy, right? Oh, no. Oh, Jesus. Oh, my God. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not.

I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm in the splash zone. Look at how much comes out of his mouth here. I don't. I know. It's kind of. That was like the emoji for smoke. You ever see the smoke emoji? That is. He's a human garbage pail kid

He get his shirt at like a second hand second hand store Sloppy it's like the the neck hole looks like it just gave birth it looks like It's a gay pig It's been run through by the 76ers. John is a snot receptacle. You can tell what he had for breakfast yesterday and that sneeze. Oh, what a sicko. All right, I said that was the last step.

I have one more fun thing for us. This is from the day before. And there's a lot of tells with John that we've caught onto. One of them is when he's lying, he touches his face. He can't help but get a little itch out his cheek or something. John Endine, thanks for the two bucks. When was the last time you got laid? That's the sad part.

I think it's been about eight months. I did get a little oral. that was about two months ago. Is that a question? I don't know. You tell me, buddy. Was it somebody speaking and saying, no, I will not have sex with you? Does he call us a moral? I just love that. What was the last time we got laid? And if the lying is eight months,

can you imagine how long his business has gotten laid? Have you had sex since COVID? Let me just think about that. Am I sex? Oh, man. Oh, hold on a second. A real itchy forehead. Well, that's COVID. Gee, could you remind me about that? You mean this COVID and the last one?

When he's trying to communicate to the first base coach. Right. I can steal all of you butts. What are we doing? Oh my God. Dick said on his show this past week, one of the sneakiest, funniest things. I did not get a good reaction. So I wanted to give him credit for it.

Him and Sean were talking about how women can't be major league baseball players because they don't have the athletic ability to do so. And Dick goes, yeah, women can never play in the MLB. Imagine explaining to her the infield fly rule and then saying, okay, you're on second. What do you do? So he turned into her to dump the play base on it. That's the fucking fun. That's why women can't play sports with men. That's the advantage that trans people have over women. It's not the physicality which is there, but it's the mental part. It's the mental part.

They gotta call timeouts. If anybody ever watched an NBA, a WNBA game, they have to call timeouts and explain to them the rules over and over and over the whole game. Following the rules is the hardest part. Dude, that was such a funny lie that you got nothing from Sean. I was yelling at my phone,

I was like Sean, that was great. What are you doing? All right. I wanted to play this for you, Missy. If you can hang out, I'd love to have you. If you gotta go. I gotcha. Okay.

I hope you haven't seen this yet. I wanna introduce you to something that we found recently on YouTube. And I'm interested to see what your reaction is to this. Hey, welcome to Queer Kid Stuff. Welcome to Queer Kid Stuff. Welcome to Queer Kid Stuff. I'm Lindsay.

And I'm Teddy. And today we're going to talk about the word queer. Today we're talking about consent. Today we're celebrating Pride Month. Today we're celebrating pride. Today we're going to talk about- I better be a short conversation. So, tell me why you- No.

I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. Clear kid stuff. They're talking about consent. If an adult wants to have a conversation about consent with you, the answer is no. Next topic. I don't think she's ever gonna ask.

Make LGBTQ plus educational videos for all ages. Where we imagine a kinder and more equal future. Happy. Happy. Happy. Happy. Well at least Teddy got away. You are happy.

Teddy just hanged himself. It's off to a pillow factory in the sky. You are. Teddy just hanged himself. You're a queer kid, Steph. It's off to a pillow factory in the sky. Good. Okay. So, let's see one of these educational videos. Are you familiar with Queer Kid Stuff, Dick? I am now. I feel like I...

Did they say gay means happy? Yes. It means a dick in your ass. That's kind of confusing to- A lot of this is. You need an education, Mr. Master sense. All right, let me- I'm stuck in the era where all of Stuttering John's insults come from.

Right. Early 90s. All right, so what's the more interesting thing? Is John's kid? It could be. Friends, welcome to Queer Kid Stuff. I'm Lindsay and I'm Teddy today We're talking about the bee in LGBT be is for bisexual wait. How about we done this episode before? These for bad mix that's just getting tight

You're at queer kid stuff Ready Lindsay I will point out right now the comments are turned off on this video You're at queer kids stuff. You ready, Teddy? Ready, Lindsay. I will point out right now the comments are turned off on this video. Yeah. You want to go find it and tell them what you feel about it. Okay. Unless you're under 13. Right.

Then they have a special discord. You can go to B, L, G, B, T. Lindsay, we already know all about that. B stands for bisexual. I know we've talked about this before, but we need to talk about it again. Well, are we learning something new about bisexuality? Well, sort of, but not exactly.

Then what? We've already done this. Yes, get to it. I have a bit of a confession to make, Teddy. What is it, Lindsay? Do you remember the definition for bisexuality from the last time we talked about it? Bisexual is when a boy or a girl loves other boys or girls.

Bisexual is when you love people of both genders. Yeah, so you picked up on that immediately, didn't you guys? That's very outdated. She just said you like both genders? What? Whoa, whoa, whoa! So you picked up on that immediately didn't you? outdated Wish B was for bullet That definition is wrong it is yeah, it's wrong This is all the original definition I gave wasn't right and it was actually kind of hurtful to a lot of bisexual people Give myself lashes. Yes. That definition is old and can exclude some people who identify as bisexual

Well that definition is like weeks old. I can't believe we had this on the show. I apologize to everyone. So that's why we're doing this episode again. I wanted to apologize for that first video with the wrong definition I know it hurt people and that's not okay. It's really important to talk about mistakes like you're the one that's something you know This and take responsibility for your actions, so that's what I'm doing and I want to put that on my show. This and take responsibility for your actions. So that's what I'm doing. And I want to right this wrong. I want to try to do better now, and that's why I'm making today's video

and telling you the correct definition for bisexual. Like a do-over. Yeah, Teddy. Like a do-over. Is that the new slang for trans people? Do it all over again. God got it wrong the first time. Huh, is that the new slang for trans people? God got it wrong the first time But it completely negates the beginning of the word by it means to correct So now that it needs to be thrown out. It doesn't it doesn't apply to anything anymore is what she's saying

I mean, isn't this polysexual? It's omni-sexual. Yeah, there is already a word for what she's about to describe Here we go. Who is the word? go for the fucking goalpost yet again illness Sexual That's just being a straight man All right, let's see the special effects coming up here. She just snapped her finger Ready ready nothing changed It stands for... Bisexual!

That's right Teddy. Alright. The word bisexual is similar to the words gay and lesbian because it's about a person's sexuality. Teddy, what do you think the word by means? Umm... To? There are lots of words that start with five, just like bisexual. Oh, oh, bison!

She actually thinks this is programming for children. This isn't a joke. It's fucking psycho! Yes! She always thinks this playful banter with Teddy. Or kids are gonna be like, ehehehehe. What does five mean? Pita should do a shot-for-shot remake of this. See how it goes. Well, you know should do a shot-for-shot remake of this

But now we have to Figure out What all of the genders are yeah, and then we go from buy to try to quad to blah blah But you know all the way up to the 15 genders that there are now to fucking the Eiffel Tower or whatever a fate They people marrying a roller coaster. That's a what is that now? People marrying a roller coaster. That's a what is that now? So does a bicycle have like infinity wheels is that yes, is that what by means okay? bilingual and by

Binoculars That's really good Teddy. Do you know what all those things have in common? That's really good Teddy. Do you know what all those things have in common? Well a bicycle has two wheels and if you're bilingual that means you speak two languages and binoculars have two scopes to look out of I know I know two they all have two That's right Teddy. Teddy's fucking quick man. Yeah This teddy bear it's very proud. Is very present infomercial for homeschooling So bisexual is to what? Bisexual means you love people who are the same gender as you and people who are a different gender

Yeah, there's the new definition now you got it The bicycle has a front wheel and then other wheels that are in another place. There's a wheel on the front and a broken skateboard on the back that's just like being bisexual. I'm in a wheel that we don't talk about. Isn't that everyone? Well, it could be. Let's talk to my friend Taylor about it. Hi.

Hello. Hi, Taylor. What are your pronouns and how do you identify? Every time there's a guest on this show, Teddy asks, what are your pronouns and how do you identify? That's always the first question. Okay, also can we also say in mind that Teddy will has a hand up his ass and it's a Thumb that man's lap

Behind the scenes of this like a guy in a morph suit soaked in sweat trying to Thread the needle of where his hand is between this gooch or whatever she's rocking Do I consent do I consent do I consent do consent? Do I consent? Do I consent? Do I consent? Do I consent? That's the thing that's crazy about this. Why not have a puppet? Why isn't it stuffed animal with some guy with his hand as his third bull's hand up and move his head around? It all comes back to consent. Maybe Teddy didn't want to. Yeah, that's possible.

Real quick, Bada Karate just gifted five for these podcast memberships. Thank you very much, Bada Karate. I appreciate that. And so the people that you gifted those memberships for. How do you identify? I use she her pronouns and I identify as a black bisexual woman. So now you can identify as race.

Didn't we just talk about, we just did the Rachel Dolezell podcast where she had a Puerto Rican on who identified as African-American. Is this really a thing though? I guess so. I mean, I identify as African-American when I need something from the government.

Sure, who doesn't? I don't want to take tests. I have really bad test scores. Can I just be African-American? Add 30. Hey, we're talking about bisexuality. I heard, how can I help? Well, I have a few questions.

Ask away. Does bisexual mean you can love everyone? Well, sort of. Does bisexual mean you can love everyone? Well, sort of. Being bisexual means you can love people of the same gender as you and people with a different gender. So is that everyone? What the fuck?

Well, no, because I'm also attracted to turtles as well as men. That's not bisexual. I'm an Hispanic veteran when I apply for jobs. Is that okay? Yeah, we just learned that. It doesn't matter if a person is a boy or a girl or non-binary or cisgender or trans. Being bisexual usually means that you can love

anyone of any gender. That sounds so cool. It is pretty cool, Teddy. So what, you just fuck everyone all the time? No. That's amazing. She said love, Big difference, man. That sounds so cool. It's cooler than Motorhead.

Go tell your parents that you want to be bisexual when you grow up. For me, when I love someone, their gender is part of why I love them. Gender is a part of why I love someone, but it's not a reason why I wouldn't love someone. Does that make sense, Teddy? Oh, what? Do you love the color blue? This this right here. I watched this this morning. This is the dumbest analogy you could possibly come up with Someone does that make sense Teddy?

Yeah, I do why do you love it? It makes me feel safe and cozy and calm. It's like the sky and do you love yellow too? I love yellow it makes me feel happy like a big smiley face. How about green? No, I hate green. It reminds me of when my uncle molested me That turned me into a lesbian That's actually not the answer. Oh shit. Believe it or not. Love, Yellow.

It makes me feel happy. Like a big smiley face. How about Green? Green makes me feel strong. Like a big giant treat. So you love all those colors, right, Tutty? Yes. And you love them all for different reasons, right?

Because they make you feel different. Yeah. Well, that's kind of what being bisexual is like for me. What? First off, nobody likes colors because of how they make you feel different. Yeah. Well, that's kind of what being bisexual is like for me. What? First off, nobody likes colors because of how they make you feel. No. That's not a thing. They just made that shit up right there.

I'm realizing something though. Safe, co-com. I mean, I took a color theory class. Sorry. Yeah. I was just gonna say I must be sexually attracted to my rifle. Well. Makes me feel safe, cozy and calm. Do you want to go out to your only fans address now? No.

Except with gender instead of colors. Oh, I get it now. But not everyone who's bisexual feels the same way as me. For some people, gender doesn't matter at all. There are lots of different ways to be bisexual. There are also different identities that are similar to being bisexual. Some people might say they identify as pansexual or fluid. All of these identities fall under the bi-embrella.

Why? That doesn't make any fucking sense! No, this is- she's gonna be apologizing for this episode in a couple months! Well, we fucked up again, Teddy! We have a lot of angry emails from bi people! We've talked about umbrellas before, like LGBT. Yeah, Teddy. Those are umbrella terms. The bi umbrella represents the larger community of people

who love more than one gender. Whoa, whoa, whoa. There's a bisexual umbrella and an LGBT umbrella. And the B in LGBT is for bisexual. Why do they go through that whole thing of what bi means? If that's not what it means anymore, that was kind of a waste of time. So, so, so, there are two umbrellas. Bi umbrellas! Bi-brellas!

Whoo! Thanks so much for coming, Taylor. And welcome to Meetsplained Bisexuality. It is exhausting. You're very welcome. Yes. You okay there, Teddy? Thanks so much for coming Taylor. How do we explain bisexuality? It is exhausting. You're very welcome. Yes. You okay there, Teddy? Thanks so much.

It smells like honey and they're here. Make sure you check out Taylor's channel. It's from... Have you ever heard of Vagisil? V is for Vagisil. Every pause that you do, I think a Peter Griffin voice is going to come out of this girl's mouth. Every pause, he's like, you think that's bad.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So every pause that you do, I think a Peter Griffin voice is going to come out of this girl's mouth.

Every pause, he's like, you think that's bad. At a time, she has lots of amazing videos on activism and social change. Every once in a while, my dad actually loved me. For videos just like this and can't make a nothing donation. I just mean Zaynol. You can make a one-time donation on our PayPal. That's super helpful too. And that's it for today.

We'll see you next time at Queer Kid Stuff. All right. So here's another fun one. We won't watch this one. There's more? Do you guys have a hotter lesbian they could bring in there? Like that's very ablest. I already feel like I have to start going to church again.

Oh, yeah, she looks hot. This one, Missy. Oh, man. Welcome to queer kids stuff. Today, we're talking about what it means to be a sexual. Let me get to the fun part of this because they bring out a person who's asexual. And we've all met this girl before. That's a coat rack.

That's a coat rack. That's a coat rack. Look at the special effects that happen to us. It's amazing. Hey Lindsay, hey Teddy. Hello. It's so well-centered. Lisa, I need a little help explaining

what asexual means to Teddy. Can you help me out? Sure thing! I have two questions first. Can you answer them please? Sure Teddy, what would you like to ask me? That's the first question. What are our pronouns and how do you identify? I use she, her and hers and I identify as asexual, queer and cisgender.

Thank you! Okay, now tell me what asexual is. Please. Go for it, Alisa. Okay, you know we're the kissing stuff already, right? When we started. Means I started doing math about eight months ago. Okay, explaining what asexual means

is pretty simple then. Being asexual is when adults love each other romantically, but they don't want to express those feelings through something like kissing or other ways of expressing love physically. Boring. This is for children. It's when two uggos get together, I get it now.

This is insane. It should be what you are, Teddy. Yes, Teddy is asexual, crazy. You, the child, should be asexual always. Yes. That's the end of this lesson. It's insane. When we're horny, we high-five. That's the difference between expressing your love physically through something like kissing, or verbally through words.

Some asexual people actually like to kiss, but don't like other physical expressions of love. Oh, like what? There are actually a lot of different ways to be asexual. We call this a spectrum. Yeah, you know what else? What are other ways? Marital, chit-chat, marital, chit-chat. Marital, chit-chat, marital, chit-chat. Marital, chit-chat, marital, chit-chat. What there are actually a lot of different ways to be asexual we call this a spectrum

So this is my favorite part of this video Teddy asked what are the other ways of expressing love physically aside from kissing which pretty good follow up question if you ask me smack it around Choking Door slamming What are other ways to physically express love? Well, Teddy, that's a whole other topic that we're going to save for later. Is that okay with you? But I want to know. Okay, fine, we'll tell you.

Wow, you're so persistent, Teddy. Yeah, it's getting rough with the show. Teddy's coming on to me. This is a whole show about who fucks who and for what reasons. And they go, so what is this fucking thing? We're not talking about that. That's for. This is for children.

He said, I want it now. OK, let's stop. Never say that, Teddy. Never. All right. Let's say no, no word. I have to play this video for you because it cracked me up. I was laughing out loud by myself in my office this morning watching this video. Hey there, welcome to Queer Kid Stuff.

I'm Lindsay. And I'm Teddy. Today we're doing a very special story time episode with Drag Queen Story Hour. We'll be reading a book called Poo Leon is a Mermaid written and illustrated by Jessica Love You are enough you're at queer kid stuff Does every pedophile not play ukulele It's unbelievable. It's neither a violin nor a guitar. No. And the queen. Hello, I am Angel. Holy shit!

Oh my god. My pronouns are her, she, when I'm in tracks, and when I'm on tracks are he, him. Storytime, storytime, storytime. We're getting to it, Teddy. This is a monster. Is that like it came out of John's mouth one of my favorite books I hope you like it too this is Julianne as a mermaid and it is illustrated and written by Jessica Love are you ready, Teddy? I'm ready, Angel. Okay, here we go. Oh no, he named it Teddy and it's about sex?

Yeah, that's not good. I don't want to think about Teddy. This is a boy named Julian, and this is his abuela. And those are some mermaids. How are they standing? Julian loves mermaids. How are they standing? How are they standing? How are they standing? Missy B's already poking holes in the story.

I'm glad Mermaid's too. Right here, Hulian is imagining himself being a mermaid. Wow, look at that. That's little boys' time to do anything. Have you ever imagined being a mermaid yourself? Why are there photos of a child in his underpants? In this book. Do you have to ask?

It's because he's a little boy. That's little boys' time to do anything. Have you ever imagined being a mermaid yourself? Why are there photos of a child in his underpants in this book? Do you have to ask? Wow, look at how beautiful this mermaid is. Underneath the water with all the fish. Oh, I see a stingray. I see a stingray there. This is a stingray that got the crocodile on her.

It sounds like the prostitute robot from Futurama. Hey, hey, hey. Look at those beautiful mermaid. I see lots of fish. I see, yeah, I see a jellyfish. You don't know what you can have no cheek on. I see a cat. I'm planning a filming for you.

Stir. Wow. Big fish, big fish. Well, that is who Leon. He's a mermaid. Look, look, he's imagining himself in the water, swimming like a mermaid. Oh, so is that really happening? OK. Thanks, yeah. Good to know. I like how there's no words to read. I know. Yeah.

Mermaids on the subway. Yeah, Mermaids are on the subway. Definitely in New York. That is accurate. Yeah, it's all splash. Oh, wow. What stop is that? Hell, someone's probably. Wow. Look at it. Is that what Beastie Boys were talking about? Wow, look at his face. Is that what Beastie Boys were talking about? Beastie Boys. How?

Beastie Boys. It's water everywhere. So Juliana's pretty much imagining that he's Mermaid. Abuela, did you see those mermaids? I saw them, mijo. Abuela, I am also a mermaid. No, you aren't at all. Put on some boy clothes and go play baseball.

I didn't see no mermaids, mijo. I saw a bunch of fumaricones, though. It's crazy, though. This book, the whole point is to illustrate that you can be something that doesn't exist. Yes. My goal is to achieve something that is unachievable. Yeah, like a color person who can go underwater. A lady's getting spicy in here.

And a long day for her. How do you think they got here for Puerto Rico, Candy? On a raft. Okay, fair enough. So wait, do the bisexuals fuck mermaids? I think they do, right? It's all under the umbrella. I gotta find the hole.

It's under the umbrella. Hey, move that umbrella. I actually like the water. Take a bath, you be good. Julianne has a good idea. Take off his clothes again. Julianne. What the fuck man? There's 12 pages and four of them are taking his clothes off. It's browsing through his grandmother's bedroom. Right now Julianne is going for the flowers. You see the plants? That's so fucking naughty. OK, so what else do we see here?

Does the center fold? Wow. He has curtains. Crimming the curtain down. There's a headpiece. Oh my god. Wait till your father gets home. What is she trying to do?

This is not going to add well. Yeah. This way. Uh-oh. Oh shit. Come here, mijo. Grandma's calling now. That face looks like Stettering John.

What do you think is going to happen, Teddy? I don't want him to get in trouble. OK, OK, so let's see. Come here, Mijo It's like stuttering John Okay, okay, so let's see For me a well for you Julian This beautiful necklace that huli arms grandma just gave him Can we be a little more subtle about what we're trying to teach people here for Christ's sake? Is this like making him smoke the whole pack? Oh, you would be mermaid, huh, Mayfaux?

There's some burrows now taking you outside in the fire extinguisher. Look at everyone, look at Juliana and laugh everyone. Beat them like a piñata. Isn't that beautiful? Okay, so now Abuela and Julianne are leaving the house. That's a big one. I know there's a Brooklyn... They're calling it Jeppri Epstein's Ireland. The mermaid parade in Coly Allen.

So let's see, maybe that's where they're going. Where are you going? You'll see Cece Abuela. Prostitutes? She's working in. She's crazy. I was gonna say yes, you see. Yes.

And so they are Mermaids, West Brasolian. So many mermaids, whispers Julianne. So many mermaids. Wow, look how beautiful these mermaids look. Oh, it's their friend. Look, we even have a crab here. Yeah, all different. None of them are white. Not a single white mermaid.

Lobster? What else we have here? We have everything. Look. Oh. A lot of crabs. So what do you think happens next, Teddy? What do you think happens next, Teddy?

Does Julian get to be a real mermaid? Yes, Teddy. That's what happens next. It's to be a real mermaid, you fucking idiot. How did that make any fucking sense, Teddy? Julian can try, but he was not born with the chromosomes of a mermaid. Are you even listening to yourself, Teddy? Never be a real mermaid.

You sound stupid. One more quick thing I want to play for you guys because apparently this is what happens to the I know I was fine. I didn't know the end. He's taken away from his grandmother. You see her. I asked Jessica Love to come to queer kids stuff and answer all of your questions today, Teddy. What? I get to meet another person who wrote a book?

Oh, I wouldn't call that writing a book. Yeah. It's kind of insulting the actual authors. That's right, Teddy. It's more of a grooming pamphlet. For coming by and reading us who Leon is a mermaid. Of course. All right. Stay tuned for the author. Yeah.

So I guess we're going to be another episode. That is the end. I have a question. I have a question. Why do you only read books to children? Yeah, right. What are you doing? All right.

So we're going to find out something about Lindsay that I think you guys are going to be shocked by because even she was shocked by this putting this news out there. Hey there. I'm Lindsay Welcome to queer kid stuff today. I wanted to talk about a bit of an update on my identity You are enough You're at queer kid stuff You are enough here at Queer Kid Stuff. We've been talking a lot recently about different parts of our identity in our series on privilege. I wanted to talk to you a little bit about my identity. I hope that talking about my identity with you can help you figure out some things about

your identity. I've talked about my identity before, like how I identify as queer and as white and as Jewish and as a cisgender. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know No, here's the big reveal coming up. Well, I actually wanted to talk about that last one my gender Up until now. I've always identified as being a cisgender woman who uses she pronouns But recently I've actually been questioning this part of my identity I'm just not getting enough attention Illness was just spiking. I parked the car successfully in one try.

I realized it no longer implies I can't call myself a woman anymore. I'm a cisgender woman. This is something I've been thinking about a lot recently and I'm still kind of figuring it out in the past two days. That's just sort of how I like to do it. Typical man just thinking about it if he's a woman or not. All day. I'm starting to cheat and they probably

switch with my friends and family and a new word that I think maybe describes how I'm feeling, that word is non-binary. Sorry. Sorry. So Lindsay's now a non binary. They have. All right, so it's shocking, right?

I love how you can just decide that you're not like, I'm no longer a drunk, drug addicted loser. I'm a a fuck machine billionaire. That's how I identify. I think you're getting over your skis with that. Yeah. And then you work in my car. I do have a voicemail for Dick Masterson.

Oh, cool. That came in. Hey, so I'm a little behind. Fuck you. Cry about it. Anyway, I'm listening to the end of the periphery podcast and the one guy was talking about Kevin Landau and you brought it up. I'm trying to be quick. basically what happened was like it's like institute it knows all about all of the book and

things about the internet things the website is quick basically they determined that jake uh... used for like purchased the jomein and batte and cell they did they made him as far as i know, made him the link which the name, tevinayland.com, make it a world sports warrior.com. You can still look that up. The only reason I know is because I was gonna do

the same thing to a promoter that fucked me over. He doesn't own his name or LLC. So I was just gonna buy it like basically do the exact same thing. And then I realized what happened to Dick and I don't would have to do it. So my parents didn't buy me a house. Anyway, goodbye. I love you. Well, we're young. Now you should still do it because the only reason the stupid lawyer that gave Landau his domain back, the only reason he gave it back is because it was another

lawyer. If it was anybody else, they don't give a fuck what happens to anybody else. The only reason he was doing it is because it was another lawyer if it was anybody else They don't give a fuck what happens anybody else The only reason he was doing is because it was another lawyer and it still cost land out like 1500 bucks to file the the claim to get The domain back so still funny so it was worth it. Yeah, all right quick game of to catch an alien that I let everybody go Thank you guys so much for hopping on episode 500. This is this has been very exciting Dick just had episode 400. That seems kind of cool to I guess Slacker This has been very exciting. Dick just had episode 400. That seems kind of cool, too. I guess you're going to laugh me. Slacker. Swing on the myth.

All right. It's time for everyone's favorite game show to catch an alien. Are you ready to play to catch an alien? And I go back and forth with this. And if anything, I think they're already here. And we can't see them, like they've had more time to advance. And they're right here, which he kind of elaborated

to a little bit like that dimensional thing, that multi-dimensional. So imagine if an asteroid's common, but whatever civilization was here was 100,000 years more than us. And they were able to say go in the ocean or get away from whatever the issue was, teleport, whatever.

For how many years until it was okay. And by then we evolved to this. And now we're just a bunch of idiots running around, trying not to blow things up and destroy ourselves. And now they're around like the nukes sites and everything else. So in my opinion, being that no one has anything There's nothing ever that somebody isn't madding or showing and even with grush and the other guys I

Saw I talked to I heard where is but not one person has anything Yeah, where's where's the proof? Where's the proof? Yeah, and then India tried it and then they did a DNA test and they made them Yeah, fake that was the one where I was like oh oh, yes. Yeah, Mexico, I think it was. What did Tommy say next? Here are your choices. Number one. Yeah. One of them.

B, I always confuse those two. Next. Same difference. Four. I'm sure India did it too. And lastly, I meant feather, not dot. Okay. I was going to go first on this. So I want it to be same difference. I'm going to go with next same difference. Kindi, you're next to me. So what do you got?

I think it probably is that, but I want to go with feather. Not dog. Of course. That would be fantastic. Andy, what do you think? I'll do four. India did it too. All right. Missy B. B. I always confuse those two. Yeah, very possible. And Dick, what do you think? Yeah, one of them, I guess that's that.

And producer Chris, I went with four. Four. All right. What do you guys think? And he's four. You're going Patrick's not sure one. All right. We're all over the board here. This is how you know, it's a good game alien DNA test and they made them. Yeah, that was the one where I was like, oh, yeah, Mexico. I think it was yeah, yeah

I thought the same thing brother Yes, I thought the same thing brother Yeah, one of them Point to catch an alien dick. No, I think we played this last time. I recognize that big-lip potato cuz there's a There's a beginner's luck to this sometimes it's involved, but congrats. All right. Let's see what else we got here They'll open to Anything being possible at this point So I just want to Anything being possible at this point, so I just want them I want to see

I'm with her flight. That's all but I just don't think so I think if you could bend time you're not gonna crash and if you did crash somebody's gonna talk What do you think their skin would look like? What did Tommy Definitely no wrinkles I mean if you're that of all Definitely no wrinkles. I mean if you're that evolved And if they went into the ocean they were preserved yeah, they might have some skin that you would be like Saltwater preserve To good points all for this time come back next time to find out if you have the glowing, smooth, alien-like skin enough

to catch an alien. Also, last chance, subreddit surfing live is tonight. Get your tickets now, CarlsonCob.com. I'm in Rochester now. Not a threat. Subreddit Serving Live, Saturday, March the 9th. Comedy at the Carlson in Rochester, New York. Get your tickets now at CarlsonComedy.com. Is that a picture of Carlson there? That drawing? Sure. Wait. That's Vinny Paulino right there.

He's very slim in that picture. What? Is that Vinny Paulino's leg? How much time is he bending in that drawing? Did he draw that or did a fiver draw? Oh, of course Vinny drew it. Of course he did. He's's like this is my goal. Comedy.com sit Eugene sit good dog I

Have to play that part. I'm sorry dick. You're probably wondering like why are we still? No, I was hoping it would keep going Like the typewriter thing turning into another thing We probably will do that now you you said that. Great job. And a couple more layers. Well, congratulations. Absolutely. Yeah. Congratulations, Mr. Master, staying on your victory today. Very proud of you. People should check out the Dick Show, Dick.Show.

But not DickShow.com. Don't do that. No, I couldn't get that one I should file a thing on them. I've sent them so much money and gay porn referrals. I think I thought they wouldn't give it to me for free now You would think but yeah check out the biggest problem too on YouTube every Friday where we we got in a huge fantastic fight about ESG and gamer gate to that was a good one this week. Very acrimonious. But thank, congratulations. And nice to meet you guys. Good to see you guys again, producer Chris. Yeah. Thanks so much for, for swinging by. Give Vito our best and Tom, we're rooting

for him. All right, buddy. See you guys. See ya. And the great Missy B. You can find Missy B on Twitch sometimes. Sometimes. I again, I've just been neglecting. But yeah, it's Missy B. Good at Twitch. So one day, one day you go in there, you follow, set the alerts, and then maybe one day you'll see me go live. Very good. Well, Missy, thank you so much for rearranging your schedule to be here today. I'm glad I got you got to react to John's insult in real time. I got to say, I like not saying that it was underwhelming. I'm not. I just I wish he was like harder on me,

but now I'm now that I just threw that out there, it might happen. But yeah, but missy you forgot that I called you up My god, I'm so bloated Jesus he goes right for sexual every time that man geez but yeah, thank you again Carl That was all sex with your boyfriend What's it like? For me it's been eight months. It was hot in the way. All right, Missy. Great to see you. All right, guys.

Thanks. See you next time. Congrats again. Thank you. Thanks for being a part of that. Hi. Hi. Very nice. Vic said she was coming on the show today.

We sent her the wink. Don't see back. I even wrote an extra V in here. Vic said she was coming on the show today. We sent her the link. Don't see Vic. I even wrote an extra V in here. Yeah, I sent a text to her. We'll see what happens. These are new girls. They're so flaky.

They really are. Right up till now. Yeah, they really are just the worst, but you know who's not the worst is, no, actually, I can't even say that. Guys, what have we done today? You fuckface. We've done it all. We've done it all. We celebrated our 500th episode.

Vinny Paulino was here with the Michael Mara show. I brought Boogard up podcast. Andy was here with Armchair Expert. We had that amazing 500 celebration video from Jody B., Mr. Magenta and throw it at the the editor that weird message from Cardiff Thanks for putting so much effort into that Of course stuttering John going off on Keanu and Missy B and Mike Pajetti for some reason We had queer kids stuff learning a lot about Lindsay and how she identifies which is really important to all of us

We tried to catch an alien dick important to all of us. We tried to catch an alien, Dick was successful, some of us weren't. See what that means? It's time for everyone's favorite part of the show. The teaser. The teaser. The teaser. The teaser. The teaser.

The teaser. The teaser. The teaser. The teaser. And I'll just tease this tomorrow at 2 p.m. We'll be playing the win a date with Lucy game on this very channel. If you are a YouTube member or if you sign up for Patreon Supercast, you can watch that live at 2pm or anytime thereafter. So definitely get on that WTP live.com come see us in Largo March 22nd. Oh, and someone just posted a photo of Lucy's boobs in our discord. She's

mine. Yes. So, yes, definitely tune in for that. We'll be back with the midweek show and the losers will have to do some extra homework for the midweek show. I don't know if you've been looking at the voting, Andy. I have. I'm confident that things will turn around for you. Our fan base will come out as soon as the last minute. On Patreon. Ha ha ha. For that. Guys, please, join us again next time. It might be the episode we find out once a fall.

Who are these podcasts? Sleep well, everypony. Partying in the mush bits of morning radio. And now the show is over now. Okay. Great show. Good job, everybody. Great job, everyone.

Internet news with Lucy Typebox. From Patreon, C SinTV claims, My three-year-old niece could kick John's ass. Crash Awesome has an inquiring mind. Carl, tell us more about the brainwashing that's going on in schools and colleges. As a child-free parent, you must be the expert. Mr. Hamilton Burger weighs in on Episode 499. Ditsy Chick, Clubber Fang, Too Drunk to Drive,

and producer Chris find objectively bad comedy podcasts, and then compete to see how less funny than the pods the four of them can be. Only to see the show not be saved by the inane Times Square Grover and a floating potato, nice tits on the broad though. From Facebook, Josh Hardgrove posts a pic of Stevie Luzah and quips, Stevie it's nice to give blood, but you shouldn't give all of it. Jimmy Calate's a soapine's worst character in the devil verse. And from YouTube, RebelBeyondCannyOne shares, Carl, the flock of seagulls thing you got going is f-ing me up.

Ben needs to know, Carl, does the carpet match the drapes? DanCraft, in this crazy messed up world, it's good to know that Scorch is still out there doing his thing. Slam-free poetry notes? Scorch has nothing to say, but he says it like it's the most important thing you've ever heard. Sean Murphy 26. Finally figured it out.

Producer Chris looks exactly like and has the exact personality of Phil Hartman when he's the caveman. The guy is goofy. Kendo gone. Man, between Carl and the comments, this is getting close to a clan meeting. Use it up one. Mr. Cumia. Comment?

Thomas VU4YP. This comment identifies as funny. David R. Fuller asks, Carl doesn't OJ live in Florida. Have a live watch party this fall with him in your Cape Coral place. Hide the utensils! None your business is sad. This dude decapitates people and is having a better life than I am. What the fuck, JDT79?

I'm sure the makers of Clonopin are happy about that advertisement. External extrapolation sounds mean-spirited. I hope this comes across the right way. Because I don't want to sound mean-spirited, but I hope John doesn't stiff us out of witnessing his agonizing exploration on a very special emergency episode of The Stuttering John Show. Dame Taft tweets, That face Matter East makes when he does his pedestrian rocky impression fills me with rage and burns my anus.

And from Reddit, Our completely unbiased news team reports that Carl's Frosted Tips posts Trucker Andy hates white people and sublime, vote for Carl! Nooooooo! Greggia is pissed. Let's talk shit, Andy! You wiener voiced bastard! May your brakes fail and your airbags be sold for booze money!

Amos detonator is horny. I have been having nonstop vivid sexual fantasies about Trucker Andy. Just imagining that I'm a scared and lonely lot lizard, and Andy pulls in with his big strong semi truck. Man. Lucky Norm knows his demographics. WATP, the podcast for failed white rappers. And me, Lucy Typebox, plays you out with

Happy 500 everybody, vote for Boots. All right, Candy. Yes. Did you bring any reviews for us today? I did. Excellent. Yeah. We have a live review girl today and up to 500 very exciting. Sure. And you're ready. Don't I look ready? It's called This Is Bad. They totally missed the point with the music commentary podcast.

YFBS was an awful critique of the show and totally missed the point and have no idea of the background and education of the creators of that hilarious show. Guess who posted that? The host of your favorite Bad Sox. I think we've heard this one before. I'm pretty sure that's a one star. You just wanted to repeat that one. I love the one stars are the best ones. All right. I got one more I hope I have two more. I hope you haven't heard this one yet sounds good

It's called educational. Does that sound familiar? No, okay good today on episode 496 I learned about 18th century chemist Agnes Pockels, Eglalia, and other fun facts keep up the enlightening work. That's a five star review. Yeah, I got one more. Help the algorithm people, five stars please, thank you. This one also helps the algorithm. It's called Atrocious, Unfunny Garbage from Talentless Nobody's.

That's a five star. No, it's a one star. I think Hughesy wrote it. It's from somebody in Ireland. Fucking Husey. God damn it. I guess I haven't had another show enough recently. Can I do a shout out? Lashing out. Yeah, of course. Shout out to Bob Johnson. He's always in the chat saying nice things about me. Shout out to Bob Johnson. If you're in the chat right now, Kendi's thinking about you. Isn't that exciting?

Right now, Kendi's thinking about you. Isn't that exciting? And there's already a gift of Bob Johnson in the discord. These people are fast. Wow. Very, very fast. Oh, what the fuck? All right. Let's hit some voicemails and then we'll get out of here.

We got the big live show tonight. We got to get ready for... Andy's got to get ready for his big live show. Yeah, let me plug the fucking live show. Yeah, you... Log, plug, sorry. He's right by the plug section of the show. Yeah, let me plug the fucking live show. Yeah, you. Plug, plug, sorry. He's right by the plug section of the show. You're right, you're right.

I mean, I've got Dick and Missy plugged there stuff. Yeah, yeah. But All Apologies is gonna be live with subreddit surfing tonight. But I want everybody to know that you're gonna be able to see the live All Apologies episode on our Patreon at allapologiespodcast.com. Nice. It's $5. Very very good sounds worth it to me Sounds very good. Candy. What are you promoting today?

A punch in your face Very good, that's it some voicemails to get the fuck out of here Call with some ants mad at Matt. I just listened to the most recent episode gotta say oh my god Your choice with those big dumb adult baby people? Terrible. Oh my god, as someone from Long Island, I'm wildly embarrassed. Those douchebags from Farmingdale or wherever they're from, horrendous. You know, shout out to WACP. Just let me run through it real quick. Shout out to the New York Rangers. shout out to the Buffalo Bills I guess shout out to Victor's Pizza Melville shout out to

Yeah, oh god. I don't even know but more importantly shout out to my favorite girl Lucy type box See a man or Matt. Thanks for the shout outs there Hey guys, I'm listening to the most recent episode with the Joe Mattereese talking about how he dabbles in anti-anxiety, as you put it. And you know, a study recently just came out saying that, you know, if you use Kalanipin based drugs like Kalanipin, benzodiazepines in general, like Xanax, for more than two weeks, it actually causes brain damage. You know, it's pretty interesting. I think that might kind of like sum up a lot of Joe's problems is brain damage, you know, you know, I'm probably not just Joe.

But I'm more like get off this untouched grass kind of guy than take a drug, you know. Well, bye. Yeah, Joe's got some problems for sure. but I am endlessly fascinated by his one-man play And the other Kalanapin user you're also really not supposed to drink water taking a lot of yeah I googled that when I listened to this voicemail all I did was Google Kalanapin and the first result is do not mix with alcohol I use it. I used to be on Kalanapin. Yeah Do you get real fucking drunk without it? No And the first result is do not mix without go. I used to I used to be on club and yeah. Do you get real fucking drunk without it? No. So that's good.

I know there hasn't been an emergency episode in a bit, but I personally like the emergency episode or cast whatever it says in all cap of the letters. That's Carl's brilliant marketing coming out because it makes me, I see the emergency episode, oh man, I gotta listen to this. I tap open my podcast player and just, you know, gotta listen to whatever I'm, I'm a retard by it.

Well, you are my target audience, sir. And I appreciate it. Hey, Carl, how the fuck do you have guys in your episode rapping and there's no master K good point. Fuck is wrong with you retard. Oh, and by the way, how do you make me vote for fucking Andy Q. Dick talk just because I'm talking about. I'm talking about. I'm talking about. I'm talking about. I'm talking about. I'm talking about. I'm talking about.

I'm talking about. I'm talking about. I'm talking about. I'm talking about. I'm talking about. I'm talking about. I see what she did like a whole people. I see what she did. I have one in steam. So you're talking about tits. Oh, all right. You've got bigger tits than Chris. Gary in

San Diego. He's got a real problem out of his hands though. And I understand this. I can relate to this problem right here. Hey, Carl, Gary and San Diego. Well, just a quick update. Judy had warned me not to listen to Stuttering John while I'm in the family room or the kitchen. And today she came back from the market and I was listening to Stuttering John. She said, I warned you. So now I can listen to Stuttering John, but I can only listen to Stuttering John in the office, which is a real small room in our house with a computer and kind of a fold-out bed if we get in guest.

Anyway, she doesn't pay to listen to Stuttering John. Then she says, why do you listen to that guy? You hate him. I said, well, I'm waiting for him to spaz out, have a stroke, have a thrombosis, have a heart attack. We are. One of these things he's going to do on air one day. Sure.

And then everything will be perfect in the world. Anyway, that's it from San Diego. Talk to you later. Rock and roll off. And the next voice mail, you know, I was going to be like, well, Judy left me. Yeah. And stop listening to Son of a Judge. She warned me. Now I can listen in any room. Yeah.

I killed her. She's in a basement with parts cut off for a couple of months. I'm going to think I haven't heard her voice on these voicemails in quite some time. Please stop playing that man's voicemails. You know why Gary and Tim Diego? I almost get into accidents because when I'm driving home and he comes on, I fucking fall asleep. I think he's I think he's charismatic, but. Compared to you, he is.

Spitting a charisma, Paulie and Dirty Jersey, Colin. To you, he is. He's riveting. Speaking of Christmas, Paulie at Dirty Jersey calling out. It's time for another Stuttering John song. It's Paulie from Dirty Jersey in case you didn't know. This is to... When Irish people died, they played Danny Boy. Don't know why. So this is called Johnny Boy. Here we go. Alright. Don't know why. So this is called Johnny Boy. Here we go. It's such a shame that your kids aren't proud of you as Coral and Shoe make financial gains. Now John's career is truly in the toilet. This is the diary of a madman.

And his kids queered, at least. That's what I've heard. He could have built a wee engine into a career. Ah, but he failed. Now he sits in a box and drinks. Poor B. Thank you for your buy. Well, I enjoyed it, Polly.

You're not charismatic. I can't speak for everyone here. If you were to tell me that Polly was going to be at the Tampa show, I'd be scared. I'd be like, I thought you were one of the autographs. I guess not. Okay. Hey, Snaggleface. This is Klaus. I was listening to your Wednesday episode and got to your Harrison Young segment, which was Fire, by the way. But something struck me as we were listening to Harrison Wax eloquent about

his living room baseball. And I realized I know he's embarrassed about, you know, showing a film crew, him playing the game. But think think of it. Think what would happen if Harrison set up like a live stream of his games, his daily games. Right. I guarantee you he would get mad money for that. People would be watching that like crazy.

They'd put on Patreon, yeah, I'd sign up. They'd be like making bets on him. They'd probably be asking him to wear different jerseys for like different players. He could build a whole like Harrison Young living room baseball mythos. He sure was. It would be thick and he would make crazy money.

He could probably get enough money that he'd buy his own like baseball diamond. Like think about it. Or square. Anyway, call me back. A whole base rectangle. His voicem it. Or square. Anyway. A home base. Call me that. His voice smells are long today. Dude, you could have spit that out in 30 seconds. We need to start our own intershow basketball style Harrison Young League. That's a good idea. But now if I remember correctly, I don't think it was Harrison who was embarrassed.

I think it was the camera crew that was embarrassed by his shirt. Correct. He was fine with that Yeah, I'm gonna be sure that man who has no shame. I can tell you yeah Well, he's like what's gonna happen. I'm not gonna get laid anymore Hello everyone, this is Joe from Pennsylvania. Hey Joe. As you're listening to this, it's hours before subreddit surfing live. Yes it is. As most people are listening to this, it's after.

So afterwards in order, I will have soul kissed in order. Cardiff, Vinny, producer Chris, Andy, Joe, and then I guess if I have any kids left I have one for you Carl. No, it all honestly I'm psyched for the show. I can't wait to see all of you goofballs live and in person Don't call me back. All right, Joe in Pennsylvania. We'll see you tonight, buddy I just want to know that people want to kiss me. We have one more voicemail and this is a celebrity. That's why I say it for the end. It's very exciting.

Obama? This is W-A-T-P Obama. On today, your 500th episode, I'm calling to congratulate you on behalf of a thanksful nation for keeping the dabbleverse going and for keeping us all entertained today we are all bag flappers yes and cousin ruse and rubber dicks I'm uniting now I gotta go take a nap because Michelle wants me to. I just stepped on my man to win. Oh, you too, Brock. God damn it.

Guys could jam some day. Everyone's fucking scoring out of me over here. Mr. Chris, you're just letting it happen. What do you want me to do? All right, everybody, thanks for hanging out. This has been a lot of fun. We had the great Seamuses here in the studio with us. Some other guy is here as well. And the rest. It's been a lot of fun. And the rest.

Okay, bye. Okay, folks. Guess what? The episode's over. Bye. Okay folks guess what the episode A plane has hit I rewatched at Carly Carl I love you go yourselves, have a good week. Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh