Who Are These Podcasts? - Ep509 - Brilliant Idiots

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Starting point is 00:01:24 It's showtime. Kuz-a-roo. Kuz-a-roo. Kuz-a-roo. Kuz-a-roo. Kuz-a-roo. Kuz-a-roo. Kuz-a-roo. Kuz-a-roo. Kuz-a-roo. Kuz-a-roo. Kuz-a-roo. Kuz-a-roo. Kuz-a-roo. Kuz-a-roo. Kuz-a-roo. Kuz-a-roo. Kuz-a-roo. Kuz-a-roo. Kuz-a-roo. Kuz-a-roo. Kuz-a-roo. Kuz-a-roo. Kuz-a-roo. Kuz-a-roo. Kuz-a-roo. Kuz-a-roo. Kuz-a-roo. Kuz-a-roo. Kuz-a-roo. Kuz-a-roo. Kuz-a-roo. Kuz-a-roo. Kuz-a-roo. Kuz-a-roo. Kuz-a-roo. Kuz-a-roo. Kuz-a-roo. Kuz-a-roo. Kuz-a-roo. Kuz-a-roo. Kuz-a-roo. Kuz-a-roo. Kuz-a-roo. Kuz-a-roo. Kuz-a-roo. Kuz-a-roo. Kuz-a-roo. Kuz-a-roo. Kuz-a-roo. Kuz-a-roo. Kuz-a-roo. Kuz-a-roo. Kuz-a-roo. Kuz-a-roo. Kuz-a-roo. Kuz-a Just like how we rehearsed it. Hello music lovers! Welcome to another episode of Who Are These podcasts, the only show that both can't stop and won't stop. I'm your host, Carl, with me today. A man who has seen more 80s movies than Harvey Weinstein and seen crying women from Good Times Great Movies. It's Doug! It's only two more 80s movies than Crying Women. More, more definitely. Barely more. Welcome back to the show, Doug. It's been a bit good to see you. Can I just say one thing real quick? I did I didn't pull clips I apologize if this is a bad show everyone should come at me and not you but also that'll happen great Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course the research. I did do Carl. This is my 20th time on your show. Is that all? That's all that I mean, I thought that was a lot actually

Starting point is 00:02:27 Or I think it's about 4% of your show, which I thought was quite a bit. Yes. Hey, congratulations I saw I was very excited about that Please go to who are these calm get our email address voicemail number link to the subreddit link to our discord server link to Our merchandise link to our YouTube channel and the Patreon Supercast featuring two exclusive bonus episodes every single month. And you can watch the show unedited live when we record them Saturdays at two, Wednesdays at five. Also the bonus shows we have two coming out this month. Next week, Monday is going to be a bonus show with Blind Mike Geary going over more of Julia Fox's book and some other things as well. And then we're doing another crossover event with The Dick Show coming up later in the month. So sign up for our Patreon or our YouTube and you'll get access to all that fine content. Also, tickets on sale at Hackamania.com. Use the promo code on sale, Hackamania.com. Use the promo code WATP to get 20% off your tickets at Hackamania.com May 31st through June 2nd. We're gonna be in Vegas. It's gonna be so

Starting point is 00:03:31 much fun. There's so much to do in Vegas. We have the comedy show Friday night. We have all the podcasts on Saturday afternoon, Saturday night, Sunday free for all. We'll be hanging out. I'm the favorite. I know. I am really looking forward to this Vegas trip and it's gonna be a great time of year to be in Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, went there in late July and it's weird. Your body doesn't know how to react to going from 115 degrees into 68. I wearing the same clothes. I went to December for my birthday. That's right. It's fucking cold. I know cause I looked it up one time.

Starting point is 00:04:16 One time I was thinking we should do that for New Year's. And then it's like 30 degrees at night. I'm like, well, yeah, I don't need that. Helping anyone. Also, we encourage our listeners, give us a five star review on Apple Podcasts and show all of us in the comment section today. We'll be reviewing a podcast called Brilliant Idiots. We have both listened separately. We've not discussed it with each other beforehand. Let's get into it. This is a show hosted by Andrew Schultz and Charlemagne the God.

Starting point is 00:04:41 And so this is one of those big shows big audience big set I think I counted maybe five people in the actual room they're recording it there's the two hosts and then there's I think three producers yeah cuz there's not enough noise going on and no they need a lot more things going on so they're all producers I didn't I mean I guess that's what you call people that just sit around and yell random shit Joe Rogan for some reason started the precedent that you have to have a guy who just Google stuff So there's a guy that just yell out questions to and then that person googles or maybe that's the Geralt Taylor It is it is the amount of times the guy said goo goo instead of Google

Starting point is 00:05:26 Maybe not crazy everything is goo goo dat Goo goo dat goo goo dat the whole time and they're just finding things that are not interesting and playing Other shows and other content on their show, which I understand YouTube has an issue with except in the case of this show. Well, the way they do it, it's really obnoxious. I'll get into that. And uh, Charlamagne the God for as famous as he is, he has the morning show on Sirius. He's been on the radio forever. He started his own radio company. He can't talk real good.

Starting point is 00:06:00 It's crazy to me. How much you butcher is the English language. But the first thing I want to point out, the thing I picked up on is Andrew Schultz is just over the top having way too much fun. More fun than anything they're saying or doing merits in any single way. And I played on the last episode, we did our teaser, and I played the very beginning of the episode where it highlights one of those times Well, this is actually in the episode. This is how it happens organically and so Charlemagne they're talking to Taylor the woman who's there to Google stuff and Charlemagne makes a comment and

Starting point is 00:06:38 Andrew Schultz Loses his mind over it. I'm trying to say the trailer loses his mind over it. I'm trying to say the trailer. I was on the trailer. Yeah, Google the trailer for dry. Is that an example you're talking about? Yeah, Google. Yeah, just Google that.

Starting point is 00:06:51 Okay, we'll talk pretty quickly. All right. I'm trying to say the trailer. I was on the trailer. Yeah, Google the trailer for dry. You look diesel as shit. You look like you're wearing that shit Drake wearing on sick. You know what I'm saying?

Starting point is 00:07:10 I never seen that. What? No. You don't think so? I was above you. Charlamagne got no control of what's everything above the neck.

Starting point is 00:07:27 He cannot control. Below the neck maybe, but this shit right here. He looked at you, he saw a certain angle. Hey, you look fucked today, Diller! His autism just slipped right out. Diller, you look fucked today! Hey, what are you dead? Tell her don't let that she wants you got that shirt

Starting point is 00:07:47 drinking me when on stage. The next time anyone criticizes this show for laughing at ourselves, I'm just going to pull that clip out and go nobody laughs at themselves more than Andrew Schultz. Holy shit.

Starting point is 00:07:59 I'm trying to think of the funniest thing I've ever heard in my life. I was thinking the same thing. Because was there ever like an open Anthony bit or Howard Stern thing where I was laughing that hard? I can't imagine. And Carl, the thing is, you played just a segment of this.

Starting point is 00:08:14 It goes on for, I clocked it, three and a half minutes. They're laughing about this. My next clip is called It's Still Going. It's still fucking going also the other thing I want to point out for people who are watching the show I want you to look at Andrew's posture because it bugs the fuck out of me I don't like the chairs they have it's a nice set but those chairs don't look comfortable to sit in and broadcast from like sit up.

Starting point is 00:08:47 Why is everyone trying to slouch and do a show? Oh, I can think of his Richard Dreyfuss. Yeah. And when you say it's a nice set, it looks like the room you would wander in at the beginning of the haunted mansion ride at Disney world. It's very bizarre. It looks so fake. It's very fake. It looks so fake It's very fake I thought you're gonna say it looks like the first room you walk into when you're watching Ghostbusters because it's like they're in a library for some reason

Starting point is 00:09:14 Not really sure why but the window has I don't even know what's outside that window That makes sense, actually. Okay. He said, he said, Taylor, you look... Bob is great. He's like, mid-sense. He was talking about Pulitzer's. Jirard's peak is sucked or something. Look at you. I'm about to suck you get all in my face. I'm about to suck you get all in my face.

Starting point is 00:09:40 I'm about to suck you get all in my face. I'm about to suck you get all in my face. I'm about to suck you get all in my face. I'm about to suck you get all in my face. It was like mid-set. So crazy. You was talking about Pulitzer's. Jaraad, speak and suck to something. Look at you. I'm about to suck she get all her muscles in a week. Damn, Taylor, you look buff. I think he really wants Charlemagne to like him.

Starting point is 00:09:59 Because why would you laugh so hard at someone? Unless you really wanted them to be your friend. Really bad. It's weird. Yeah. It's uncomfortable. Read the room. He's not reacting.

Starting point is 00:10:10 Well, yeah, he's not really reacting. The other producers are like, okay, ha ha. You know, like, well, yeah, all right. And he just keeps going on and on about it. And you, by the way, I want to point out if people are listening to this, they never show Taylor. So if there's some visual gag, we're not seeing it. We don't know what the fuck is happening here to make this so funny. If it

Starting point is 00:10:29 is funny, which I doubt I can't imagine that it is. Dude's a spaz kid. He really is. He's freaking out. Okay. At the beginning of this episode, this is a recent episode, there's a very fake conversation that they're having because Andrew Schultz just sold out the forum. It holds 17,000 or 18,000 people Out in LA. Very impressive. He's doing stand-up comedy Sells out in the arena. So this is something that you guys could have a conversation about like wow, you just played the forum That's pretty cool. But instead they just make it super superficial. You did the forum this weekend. Forum was crazy. How did it feel? Crazy, amazing.

Starting point is 00:11:07 Thank you so much everybody came out. That was awesome. How did it feel? I didn't feel anything until I drove up and I saw it in the distance. And the forum, like when you look at Madison Square Garden or you look at a lot of arenas that are in a city, they're all blocked by other massive buildings. But the forum is, it looks like the fucking Roman Colosseum.

Starting point is 00:11:35 It has the columns and the red behind it and then it's this massive parking lot around it so it's the only structure in a five mile radius. Probably not true. And that was kind of profound. I'm not going to lie. That's what Magic One rings. And that's what Kareem One rings. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:11:54 Magic was probably in the showers taking beautiful women down in the eighties. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, but I just did a comedy. I thought we were talking about my comedy show. Now, we're going to talk about magic and cream winning basketball games and fucking girls. Alright, now we can let's go that direction with it.

Starting point is 00:12:12 Charlotte. That's fine. 80s. Yeah. I'm just saying, man. I had to feel you had to feel something. Well, they did a renovation since then. Oh, they did? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Did they sanitize the place? That's what they did. I don't even think they renovated it. I think they just did Purell. The giggling is crazy. I just don't, I don't understand how this is content. Like these guys just talk about anything and everything. The takes are the coldest takes I've ever heard on a show before, but I also feel like this is what people listen to, right? Like when I just talk to random idiots and they say they listen to podcasts, I get a sense that

Starting point is 00:12:57 it is just this. It's people just talking about anything that's in the news, finding random headlines to just comment on and not like they know nothing about any of the topics that they discuss but nothing's off the table. They'll gladly take five ten minutes and talk about women's basketball when they clearly don't understand the game, the NCAA or how any of this works. The, uh, the basketball talk, I'm, we have a whole package on that because these people have no idea what they're talking about.

Starting point is 00:13:32 And actually I got to give Andrew Schultz credit in that segment because you could tell he had a lot of things he wanted to say and just decided like, I'm going to get out of the way. Charlotte May is going to make some points over here, but before we get into that, can I, I sorry can I jump in with just one thing? Cuz I want people to understand what this show is because Like you put in notes or a description of your show, right? Everybody normally does sure I want to read you a description of one of their shows that is up an Apple podcast

Starting point is 00:14:01 Okay in this episode Charlemagne the God and Andrew Schultz discuss varieties of topics including gun ownership, the appreciation of studs, live comedy special, Jake Paul's boxing match on Netflix with Mike Tyson, Mike Tyson's invincibility, Dre and Michelle's pregnancy and age and attraction. They discuss potential regulations and legislation around social media including the need for licensing and accountability for content creator. Also the dangers of AI generated misinformation and fake news are discussed as well as the vulnerability of older generations to scams and manipulation techniques. The

Starting point is 00:14:37 importance of building a brand for business is emphasized along with the potential impact of third- party candidates in elections. This is bananas. Why? Why? You were asking what all these producers are doing. Three of them are writing the show descriptions, obviously. That's a lot. Then they put time stamps in for everything. Licensing and accountability for content creators.

Starting point is 00:15:00 43 seconds on that topic. Oh, check this out. Vulnerability of older generations Fox News. One minute, 57 seconds, and the desire for third party candidates in politics, which I assume people could discuss for hours. They spend 58 seconds on it. Way to belabor the point. It's amazing because the most recent episode I saw, I was looking through the list of topics and one of them is the Joker 2 trailer and I went Oh, what's their what is their take on that? Check this out. This is the entire segment Joker 2 trailer

Starting point is 00:15:32 Man is joker 2 trailer look crazy. Talk to me now I just look dope Joe Queen Phoenix back at the Joker Lady Gaga playing Harley Quinn. I fucks with that What else we got? Joe Queen Phoenix is back as the Joker. That's incredible. Wow. Good stuff, guys. I'm glad you included that. And like you said, it's in the rundown and there is a link to it in the description if you want to go right to just joker 2 trailer. There it is. the description if you want to go right to just joke into your trailer. There it is. And you can watch what we just saw. It's crazy. So I mentioned before, Charlotte, let me in the garden. Radio professional should be able to pronounce words correctly. Should know it's Joaquin Phoenix. Probably a guy's been famous for a minute. And listen to this. Yeah. I decided to

Starting point is 00:16:21 just evasquerate, is that the word? Evasserate? Eviscerate. Eviscerate. I like evasquerate. Evasquerate. I evasquerate it, bro. You know, I, hey, three times New York Times best selling

Starting point is 00:16:36 author right here. I just let everybody. I've never planned to be able to pronounce nothing. You've evas, you evascerate, why do you keep doing that to me? Why do you keep doing this word I can't pronounce to me? What is that posture? What's he doing?

Starting point is 00:16:50 I don't know. Yes, and thing is ridiculous too. I actually like it when you mispronounce the word. I think that's even funnier. Do you? But you're right, that posture is uncomfortable. It is. And really strange.

Starting point is 00:17:03 Like this setting is not working for them. I don't't know put him behind a table or something like that put him on a stool so we can't roll all over the fucking place it's too comfortable think it's the problem all right so they're talking about the set that he did at the forum and he brought jokes that were just for the LA crowd. And so they're going to actually play the joke. Now I've never seen this before. I've never seen a comedian watching his own performance on his show, but that's what we're, uh, we're going to see because they want to tell Taylor about this one joke, uh,

Starting point is 00:17:43 that was at Meek Mill's expense. Play the joke, Taylor. This is a perfectly executed cultural hip hop joke. Where is the joke at? Oh my God, Taylor. Greatest producer in all of podcasting. Go to his show. Greatest producer in all of podcasting. If there's one thing Taylor's going to do podcasting Taylor is gonna keep you humble see Diddy's house right there see why is it funny that she wasn't prepared with the clip who's enjoying that definitely Andrew yeah well yes and enjoys everything yes he was applauding it too much they're having a great time yeah they love what they do and I just don't understand why anyone else would I I've said it before on this show. I'll say it again I'll never forget the compliment the ice it up Scott and we played at Darien Lake the director of the amusement park

Starting point is 00:18:36 Sent us a thank-you card that said it looked like you guys are having a lot of fun up there fun up there. We enjoyed it. It's the bottom of the barrel. The music was good. I would have taken great mix. I would have accepted that. You guys look like you're having a lot of fun up there. Thanks, Adam. Managing outfits. I appreciate it. All right, so this is embarrassing. This might be cringe of the week level because not only is Andrew Schultz watching his standup show, but he's laughing at the punchlines. Oh, he's cracking up the jokes that he just delivered this

Starting point is 00:19:09 past weekend. You break down the door. He's butt naked on the couch. Meek Mill sitting on his lap. Meek Mill crying, oh no wait a minute, I thought you was finished. It's like can't stop, won't stop. You try to run out, you run out, the door is locked. You turn around, all of a sudden you hear. You ain't going nowhere.

Starting point is 00:19:42 You ain't going nowhere. I can't be stopped now It's your asshole tonight Jesus Christ man God damn If there was a nuclear weapon in the form of a joke Stop it God damn man

Starting point is 00:20:00 What just happened? Have you ever seen anything like that before? I would be embarrassed Oh yeah, I put up on my Instagram Check it out. I got some cool highlights from the show. It was great Everyone really enjoyed it. It's just like yeah play that joke and No one enjoys Andy more than Andrew that's for sure If this were one of those shows and we've covered them before Where they have to hit an hour for advertising and then they're like, well, you know what we put in our hour. This would make sense, but they go for like two hours.

Starting point is 00:20:31 I listened, I started to listen to an episode where they read a children's book. They just read it. That's how the episode started. They read a children's book for five minutes, thought it was the most amazing thing they've ever read. Was it a book about pronouns? Or are you watching queer kid stuff? Or you confused?

Starting point is 00:20:47 It was pretty bad, and it was pretty lame. And they were nearly in tears, because that one, the white douchebag, like he just had a kid. So that was what that episode was all about, is how great it is to be a dad. And he made his three week old smile, and it was the greatest thing in his entire life.

Starting point is 00:21:07 Fuck your kid. Yep. Yep. Yep. Well, we're not done with praising the stand up performance and this amazing joke that he told the previous weekend. I mean, it's just a phenomenal joke. It's one of those jokes, even if you're the main victim of the joke

Starting point is 00:21:25 You gotta give it up, it's comedy It's a comedy, man You gotta chuckle Great fucking joke Poor Meek man Yo, you keep praying for Meek What about Shohei Otani? I don't even know who the fuck that was

Starting point is 00:21:41 So that's why this is So this is deep cut So he goes, what about about the show Otani joke that I did after that and Charlamagne the God says I don't know who that is. Otani is the greatest baseball player in five generations. He's comparatively possibly better than Babe Ruth. He's the only baseball player I've ever seen in my life who's the best pitcher and the best hitter. It doesn't happen. And Carl, if he had said that, that would be hilarious, but it's like he doesn't want to offend his friends, so he says that's a deep cut. I can't think of a cut that is less deep than that. My wife has never watched a

Starting point is 00:22:23 pitch of baseball before. She's like, do you hear about that Japanese guy who was betting on the game? Well, how did you know? Because his translator bet like 700 million dollars of some crazy amount of money. Yeah. And so now they're trying to figure out, well, did Otani, is he the one who's gambling? Is it this guy? So it's all in the news. And that's what the joke was about and Charlemagne goes, yeah, I don't know anything about that. He's like, well, it's a deep cut. You know, it's

Starting point is 00:22:49 just for the LA people. What? What are you talking about? That's ridiculous. But then he explains that he had another joke about Otani but he didn't put it in the clip that we saw. I cut it. I cut it on the clip but I had another one because I

Starting point is 00:23:03 kind of **** it up but they they call him the Japanese Babe Ruth and or as I call him the great bamboo stick. Fucking terrorists. This is a terrorist right here man. But once again, Andrew Schultz is out hip-hopping all the black comedians. I have to say I've seen Andrew Schultz's Netflix thing that he did, and a bunch of stuff that he's done I've enjoyed. I thought he was a funny guy, but he's convincing me otherwise now. Yeah, I think where all the laughter's coming from, they don't really care for each other that much. But they really love themselves. It doesn't seem real.

Starting point is 00:23:42 At all. No, it doesn't seem real, And his uncomfortable name. It's like a child with ADHD who just can't sit still. Like, if you're on video, if your entire show's video, he's scratching his own back at points, he's constantly shifting. It's like he's just waiting to get out of there. So podcast cringe is a YouTube channel that does a great job of breaking down these various shows and what's happening between the big players and podcasting. And Andrew Schultz was recently on the Joe Rogan Experience.

Starting point is 00:24:13 And Podcast Cringe was going through the comments now that Joe Rogan is back on YouTube and the comments section is now up and running again for the show. Check this out. Or Schultz is officially a clown. The comment section on YouTube was absolutely wild. I've never seen so much negativity towards a JRE guest compared to this. Here are just a few to give you an idea of what I'm talking about. Wow. The comments are so negative. I thought that Bert was on three minutes in and he's already had two fake Schultz epiphanies. He tries to pretend to be interested and have deep insights like he read, how to win friends

Starting point is 00:24:50 and influence people for dummies. That's actually a really good call. That whole ass kicking like we're talking about with Jarla is just like, you don't know who Tani is? Like that's a perfect time to bust someone's balls. Yes. The guy's wearing a shirt of an NCAA women's basketball player and he doesn't know who O'Donoghue is. If he has a really good time to bust someone's balls, then he's just like, God, don't worry about it, man. No one does that. That's what I kind of thought. I was like, Oh, well, maybe this guy just doesn't watch sports. No, he goes on and on about the NCAA tournament and basketball.

Starting point is 00:25:19 Oh, this is a perfect comment right here. Yeah. Nobody gives it up for Andrew like Andrew. Correct. What should say a bunch of nothing while trying to sound intelligent? Damn, the internet really flipped on this guy. Jamie, pull up the documentary Andrew made about how successful he is

Starting point is 00:25:36 where he cries about his achievements. Andrew is the exact type of guy that thinks comedians are modern day philosophers. Just coming here for the comments, roasting both Andrew's haircut and enormous ego. And you know, that reminds me, I remember we played a clip, I think it was on Who Are These Socials? Blind Mike and I were playing this clip where he brought his dad to Madison Square Garden the night before he had sold it out to be like, can you believe it dad, here we are. And they're like standing center court. And it's like, what kind of self congratulating video

Starting point is 00:26:06 is this? Don't put that out there. Do that privately. Yeah, do it privately. That's totally fine. It's a moment. I guess his dad is Alzheimer's and doesn't remember stuff or whatever.

Starting point is 00:26:15 So there was like a deeper meaning, but I'm just watching it going, what a douche. What a fucking douche nozzle. Plus you can just tell your dad, you don't even have to do it and be like, remember that dad, if he's got Alzheimer's, whatever Whatever you don't have to go to the arena. Yeah. Yeah, in fact you could make up more impressive shit Yeah, and that bizarre I love the fact that somebody talked about his bizarre alt-right haircut and like villain of the Rocketeer mustache Now that's a deep hole

Starting point is 00:26:44 Andrew's mustache isn't allowed within 500 feet of the school. That's actually the top comment. Guess why him make me appreciate the comment section being back. I could honestly fill a whole video just reading the comments from this episode and I wouldn't even scratch the surface. That's him posing for a photo. Should I put my hand on my balls? Or just one testicle? I'll just do the one testicle. I like the pinch roll. Isn't that what that's called? Yeah. Good stuff. Alright. So then they start talking about crazy game shows in

Starting point is 00:27:18 Japan and apparently there's this show in Japan or so they say where the contestants have to sing karaoke while getting jerked off by a chick and you had to try to get through the song Before you busted that okay All right, so that's the that's the setup for this nice clip. Just it was just a regular Japanese They run a lot of Japanese programming Game shows are nuts in Japan, but they got the nerve to talk about Western civilization How bad we are and they banning our shit from tick tock over there? That's China, this in Japan. But they got the nerve to talk about Western civilization and how bad we are. And they banned an all shit from TikTok over there. That's China. This is Japan. Oh, Japan says, wow. No, I'm not gonna lie.

Starting point is 00:27:53 Charlo being the guy doesn't know the difference between Japan and China. That's fucking nuts, right? He doesn't know the difference. Also before this, the guy first started talking about there was a game show he was watching where a gay porn star had to suck the dick of a straight guy and try and get him to completion right and then after this entire conversation Charlamagne's like I'm pretty sure it's illegal to be gay in Japan for some out of nowhere and I'm like no that was on it was apparently a

Starting point is 00:28:24 game show that was on TV I don't think it's illegal. Yeah, that was hilarious because everyone, the producers, Schultz, everyone was just like yeah, I'm not sure No one wanted to be like, what? You fucking stupid asshole! I'll see myself out I'll see myself out. Alright, so because they're talking about Japanese and genitalia, of course we have to go into the porn in Japan.

Starting point is 00:28:50 They blur private parts in there. They did blur it. They did blur it. Little blurs? Alright, so Charlemagne just made a small penis joke. Little boys. It's a joke. It went right over Sholtan because listen to how he responses.

Starting point is 00:29:08 Hey, cap it in there, Blur. Blur up the year. Come on, Japan. I also love the thing. I've seen this happen many times where people have to act dumb. They're like, I've read somewhere that they have to blur out the genitalia in Japan. I don't know, like someone told me that or something. Is that true? I don't know. It's like, you know exactly why you know that. Shut the fuck up.

Starting point is 00:29:31 We all know it. We all know it. We all know why we know it. Stop it with that shit. Because what happens is you go, oh, that chick's hiding. You go, ah. We all know how we know that. So you were talking before, Doug, when we were setting this this up about how they go and they play clips of other shows or they

Starting point is 00:29:49 play other shows, but they do it in an odd manner. I did not doctor this in any single way. They're talking about John Stewart had a take on The Daily Show about this picture that Donald Trump put out on Truth Social and about this picture that Donald Trump put out on Truth Social. And they say like, oh, let's listen to Jon Stewart's take. I want to hear what you think about this. Like that's literally how they set this up. I want you to hear this show. So I want you to tell me what you think about what Jon Stewart said.

Starting point is 00:30:17 What you think about what Jon Stewart said. What you think about what Jon Stewart said. What you think about what Jon Stewart said. We are a ridiculous society, man. I don't know. I really, I think the scales are broken. So what's going on there? So they're obviously Fearful of playing the audio. They don't like Comedy Central to take it down or something. It's a YouTube copyright thing What's going on? I am so glad this is what's happening when it's visual because I don't consume my podcast that way

Starting point is 00:30:57 I listen to this in the car. Okay, you could hear the entire audio You know if you're just listening to it you could hear the entire audio, you know, if you're just listening to it on Apple. So you have to do this for YouTube. Yeah. So that's why I was like, wait, how are they playing these on their YouTube channel? But why are they not like, why did they include this? Just cut this out. Well, the vast majority of people are watching this on YouTube. Hundreds of thousands of people watch this on YouTube. And the whole thing was I want you to hear this and then tell me what your

Starting point is 00:31:24 take is on what Jon Stewart's saying saying and then you can't hear it John Stewart said and they sit there in silence yeah well they sped it up so they're just they're like listening to it and then they're a little bit you didn't do that I you do that no my god okay that's what this show is this happens multiple times when they put things on that they don't own the rights to and I mean the whole YouTube copyright thing is very frustrating for a lot of YouTubers. Joe Rogan's feeling the pain again as he's back and he was like Jesus what the

Starting point is 00:31:52 fuck what can we do but there is fair use. They should be able to play a clip of Jon Stewart on their show and react to it. But that's the thing that they don't do which is they don't do interesting reactions to these things. They'll play entire two, three minute long clips of TV shows and trailers for movies, and then they have nothing to say about it during or after. Because they're not prepared. Because they haven't prepped any of this stuff. They just show up and, yeah yeah there's something going on with John Stewart. Let's watch it. Okay. This is not a show. Alright so let's get into, we've teased it,

Starting point is 00:32:32 I know everyone's excited to hear about Sharla's take on the NCAA women's basketball tournament and I just want to ask, I'm going to ask you Doug yeah did you watch any of the women's basketball games I did not know okay see how quickly he answered that he knew he hadn't seen it anyone I didn't watch any of it watch Andrew Schultz as the wheels turn he tries to figure out how we supposed to

Starting point is 00:32:57 answer this question did you watch any other women's college basketball games games. Shultz. Nope. I think in his mind he's thinking, like I said, he's Charlemagne the God is wearing a shirt with a basketball. Am I going to be in trouble? So he's thinking like, oh shit, I probably should be watching that for my black friend. But then he said, would anybody quiz me? So I can't say I did. I want to say yes, but then he'll ask me questions that I won't have answers for. Tom, did you go to that party the other night? Yeah, there was a buzzer beater. I didn't see you there. Yeah, I mean, I was in black face. Oh, okay. Yeah, we'll talk later. All right, so this is crazy.

Starting point is 00:33:46 The takes on here are ridiculous. I told you three years ago, maybe it was last year. I think it was last year. I told you last year during the Final Four that women's college basketball is absolutely, positively one of the best things going today. No, you called it. I wanna go on the record right now

Starting point is 00:34:07 and say that I believe women's college basketball is more exciting than the NBA. Bullshit! That's retarded. Oh, sorry. I already had that covered. So there's this thing that's happening right now. There's this cultural phenomenon

Starting point is 00:34:22 where everyone has to say women's basketball college basketball is amazing and compelling and entertaining and we're all glued to it. I'm sure you fill out a couple of different brackets for the women's tournament. Doug, I hope you want some money this year. No. But to say it's more exciting than the NBA, layups are not more exciting than alley-oops. None of those players would agree with you. No, no!

Starting point is 00:34:52 It's the dumbest thing ever! And I don't even like the NBA, there's no defense, it's not a great product, but it's a billion times better than women's college basketball. Did you get into his one reason? This is the clip. I think the tournament aspect of it where you're one and done adds a different level of urgency. Yeah, it's exciting. You know, for sure it's exciting. That's the word exciting. It's just more exciting. Fake excitement. I know this guy was jumping up and down when he made a joke about the producer being buff, right?

Starting point is 00:35:29 And then they're like, what about women's basketball? She's like, yeah, no, it's great. It's got nothing to do with me Yeah, can we get back to me? The clipper he said you called it and he's picking at his own fingernails while he's saying it is really great And I I just want to point this out because his own fingernails while he's the tournament. I'm like, why these losers like, wow, that's crazy. Now, they're out of the tournament but I have to say this and I am not trying to have any um exaggeration here. This isn't hyperbole. Okay. If

Starting point is 00:36:18 the team that won at South Carolina, I think won the women's basketball tournament. They played against Iowa in the finals. If they went up against Yukon the men's team that won it would be a shutout I'm not joking those rods are that good the fight Final score would be one 20 to zero There's no way they would get a shot off

Starting point is 00:36:39 I can't smell and we have to all sit here and add ladies women are so good at basketball It's all blue. Kayla Clark, she's so good at basketball. The thing that I have a problem with is if you enjoy it, if you enjoy the tournament, if you enjoy women's basketball, that's totally fine. But you don't need to compare it to the NBA. Just be like, I watched it, I enjoyed it, it was entertaining, it was fine. You don't have to say like women's college basketball is better than the NBA because I can name four players I think there are over

Starting point is 00:37:09 5,000 players at the D1 level sure in women's basketball I don't understand how that makes it better And I think that's why I'm annoyed with this narrative that we have because if you just said it's entertaining They're putting a good product. It's competitive Okay, but they have to act like it's the greatest thing anyone's ever seen It's the same thing when the fucking Women's World Cup comes around soccer. Never nice act like fucking women playing soccer is exciting Yeah, I would say for any soccer anyway anybody that flips their lid over MLS and they're just like, this is better than basketball and baseball. And did you see the attendance

Starting point is 00:37:53 for that? No, no, no, stop. Just say you like a dumb sport. It's okay. I'm actually a soccer fan. I'm talking about you. Yeah. But no, Jermaine is all in you see i'm sitting here rocking my uh so much malaysia for a while he shirt who's that malaysia for a while he who's that she's a freshman at the university of south carolina she's an 18 year old girl plays basketball in south carolina you didn't know that this guy didn't know who Donny was. It's fucking unbelievable. South Carolina, baller, future star. Don Staley says she's a generational talent. Well, then it must be true.

Starting point is 00:38:35 Pretty good stuff. Do Staley's sister said that? All right, so now they're watching a post-game press conference with these collegiate athletes. And I think at this point, Andrew just cannot take it anymore. Because they're watching this and Charlemagne is like really into it. And watch how Andrew just- He's sliding out of his chair. But watch Andrew's reaction after he's like, trying to take this seriously.

Starting point is 00:39:02 You believe in yourself. The leap that I took from my freshman to sophomore year angel gave me that confidence to go be a dog playing this to a dog every day and You know just to see how to media ridicule And I'm so proud of her life So this woman's just going, I have the media is calling her my teammate out, but she's so great. She made me create. What are we doing? This is absolutely fascinating. Carl, I, next time I come on, please you watch

Starting point is 00:39:37 and I will listen because they cut that out. They played, they played the press conference. They didn't include him laughing or him telling me to shut up It's not in there at all Because I was waiting while I was listening to this going what are they gonna do? How are they gonna react? Well, this is all new to me. That's hilarious I'm so glad that we got to check out the two different products that are out there Because yeah, and you can see it on his face too where he's just like I can't take this anymore They played so much in his press conference too,

Starting point is 00:40:05 and it's like, whatever! And then, so I guess the controversy here, because the one woman, I forget her name, but the one woman is just like, people are sexualizing me and they're criticizing me and that's my personal life. And so these guys have a brilliant solution. Our boy, Sharla, comes up with a great solution for this. These motherfuckers are asking you questions

Starting point is 00:40:31 about your personal life on that motherfucking stage. Man, you know what every team needs? They need a professional suck my dick representative. So you need a person on the stage that's like a PR, but their job is to strictly say, suck my dick. When you get asked a question that you don't want to motherfucking be asked that don't got nothing to do with what we're doing.

Starting point is 00:40:52 If I'm here to talk about basketball and you ask me some other shit, how do you feel about these alleged nudes of yours really can? I got this one. Suck my dick. That's it. That's all you gotta say. Suck my dick. Boom. Hot take. I liked it he goes, aw that's fire.

Starting point is 00:41:06 That's that wa- hey hey, Shia Lowe, you're adding stuff in there. That's fire. Good stuff. This is an awkward show. I describe this show as awkward. What? This- it's very bizarre these two. They have a weird working relationship. It would appear to me. I mean, I just thought it was a bunch of nonsense, now that I'm watching them it makes it so much more awkward. Yes, yeah because the posture like I said yeah they don't look comfortable I don't feel comfortable watching it like I shouldn't be. I like how the library's

Starting point is 00:41:37 scene kind of contrasts how stupid they are. Yes, so they're called the name of the show is Brilliant Idiots and I think that's one of the things that Andrew Schultz thinks he has all these hot takes and is this modern day philosopher. So at the end of every show, they look at the chat and the chat asks them questions and they answer the questions. So here's an example of an ask an idiot.

Starting point is 00:42:00 Let's do this one last question, man. Classic Grant, this is a great way to end the podcast. How do you guys think the world would end? Natural disasters. I don't know if he's asking us which natural disaster would end it or how do we think things are gonna end, period. I mean, based off today, I think that Taylor balls up

Starting point is 00:42:22 her fist and slams on the ground and the earth splits in half. Like fucking hell, yeah? That's what I think's Taylor balls up her fist and slams on the ground and the earth splits in half like fucking It's got you laughing over there Andrew He couldn't wait for that call back Remember when we were all cracking up laughing at that thing earlier. No, that was just you It's still not funny, but thank you for that. Good stuff. Cracking up would be acceptable. He was losing his fucking mind over it. He was running around. Yeah. He was literally running around.

Starting point is 00:42:54 I can't imagine if you said something, you've got some zingers over the years. I mean, I've definitely enjoyed some of your commentary. Could you imagine if I got up under my chair and repeating it? Drove over the pool table Running in circles Fucking crazy Repeating it three minutes later as though this is still going on and worth it That doesn't happen organically

Starting point is 00:43:18 No, these guys are trying real hard One more clip I have on here This is from the most recent episode that just came out And I guess Mill, I'm sorry. Yeah this this same episode. I'm shocked. You didn't pull this Maybe you skipped it or something like that at one point never criticized the host of the show I can't believe you fucked up There is it there's a point and I think it're breaking up Doug. There is a point, and I think it was this episode, maybe it was another one I listened

Starting point is 00:43:49 to, they're having a debate about whether rabbits lay eggs or not. Jesus Christ. And half the people there, I think, legitimately thought rabbits laid eggs. And if they're doing it as a joke, it falls completely flat. Right. Because they're doing it as a joke it falls completely flat Yeah, if they actually think that nobody should ever watch this show ever again Yeah, but isn't that the the charm that like the Brendan Schaub's and the crystal is that they go for there's like Can you believe how dumb I am like some people pull it off the Yvonne, but most people just like yes I can't believe how dumb you are. It's annoying stop it. Yeah

Starting point is 00:44:26 None of it was convincing, but also I'm thinking are they just are they just fucking around like you can't get to that point in your life These guys are about 40 years old yeah, and think that rabbits lay a rabbits. Don't lay eggs, right? I don't think It's don't lay eggs, right? I don't think So Meek mills been talked about a lot lately because the diddy stuff that's been going around He's not too happy about people thinking that him and did he were having gay sex but it didn't stop him from going to WrestleMania and So these guys are to respond to a tweet that

Starting point is 00:45:07 Meek Mill put out and I have no idea what they're talking about. They're not good with explaining the context of anything You see big Meek Mill Come on. Let's talk about it Which one is this I leave'll leave Meek alone. I just wanted to, this is a learning lesson. I don't care about the resolution. Oh!

Starting point is 00:45:29 Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Starting point is 00:45:36 Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Starting point is 00:45:43 Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! lesson also known as a lesson. A warning lesson. But I just want to point out so we're watching this and you heard that really quick audio sample go in and they lost their minds. We don't see anything. Right. But they're going to show it now in a minute so maybe that'll help. Let me tell you something about life man. There are certain people who just need curb your enthusiasm style shows make a turn the goddamn camera on and follow them around and let's be entertained what does he think curb your enthusiasm is a documentary

Starting point is 00:46:15 he just described a docu-series yeah you know like curb your enthusiasm I was really going to go to prison at the end of that I always get curb your enthusiasm and that honey boo-boo show confused Yeah, I think it's Jeff Garland that you're confusing the two Meek is one Meek at WrestleMania and the rock is unconscious, right? You got to say, get up! Get out of the way!

Starting point is 00:46:49 You can knock rock out. Get up, rock yourself, into it. Get up! To me, my fucking mill. How did rock not break character? How did he not chuckle? Have these idiots never seen wrestling before It would appear that way the audience yells things out like get up

Starting point is 00:47:09 Yeah, all the time and they're like, can you believe this? This guy's yelling at the pro wrestlers in front of them. Yeah That's what the audience does normally. It's just silent with polite applause Well done applause. Well done. But why are they losing their minds? I don't know. This is the greatest thing ever to happen in wrestling, in sports, in I don't like I don't understand. That's what I was trying to figure out this whole time. Yeah. Trying to figure out what are we all excited about but it's one of these things and I think there's a lot of shows

Starting point is 00:47:41 like this. They tend to be Westco shows and they just have like a lot of noises and bright colors. There's a lot of stuff on the walls behind the people. They move around a lot. They move their hands up, they get loud and they quiet and it just entertains the masses for some reason. It's like a fireworks show. I'll listen to a comedian on a podcast, just talk about random things that you know they don't really know anything about and they're just riffing off of headlines in the news and stuff like that because it's funny and because it's entertaining. And for

Starting point is 00:48:14 some reason these guys think they can do that. They can't. Right. Everyone thinks they can do that. Most people cannot. Most people are not Tim Dillon. Right. So that's my message to everyone out there. At Real Canadian Superstore, our colleagues collectively speak over a hundred different languages and counting. We pride ourselves on items from different parts of the world. From hard to find specialties

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Starting point is 00:49:09 Crypto is finance for everyone. Everywhere. All the time. Kraken. See what crypto can be. Not investment advice. Crypto trading involves risk of loss. Kraken's registration details at kraken.com slash legal slash ca dash PRU dash disclaimer. And then actually segues nicely into our.

Starting point is 00:49:28 Ringe of the week. This one came in from herb beta patch to always sends us great stuff and this is a a short that was put out by bad friends. I believe is the name of the show Bobby Lee. Some societies like Koreans I mean they might have a god complex, but they don't have a history of oppression oppressing another group of people Each other right are you fucking out of your mind? You don't think Asians had they didn't know Korean Koreans didn't have slaves We didn't fly did Koreans have slaves Korea

Starting point is 00:50:04 had the longest unbroken chain of slavery of any society You guys are scumbags Bobby Lee is one of these guys who can be really dumb and it's fun, and we're all in on it We're all having fun with him these other guys who try to do dumb and it's fun and we're all in on it. We're all having fun with him. These other guys who try to do it, but a job jet, they just don't have the charm. I guess is the problem. No, the way that was cut together was great. Like that's actually pretty funny. I don't even see it as a cringe of the week.

Starting point is 00:50:36 No, I know we just watched as a cringe. No, you're right. In fact, let me make up for that. Let me show you a real cringe of the week because Opie's got a pretty hot take that he put out on his channel. But I think if I went back to 1980 for one day, I would have to go to a record store. Yes.

Starting point is 00:50:56 You gotta go to a record store and it has to sort of be like one of those kind of independent underground type record stores where they have bootlegs and whatnot. Yeah, it can't be one of those chain record stores in 1980. So it says the name of this video is 80s time travel. The first thing I do. So I'm already all in on this. This is amazing. Record stores. Let's talk about it. Legs and whatnot. And remember just going like this, trying to find records. Holy crap. I miss doing that and getting little gems, whatever your band of choice was.

Starting point is 00:51:34 Let's say it was Zeppelin. They got all the Zeppelin albums. Zeppelin too, holy shit. Can't believe I found it. It's a good thing I went to this mom and pop shop Live zeppelin from holland Or whatever would be I think I would do that I think I would wander around and just go into record stores if I was able to go back to 1980 for one hour Well, you are a boring guy. You can still go to a record store. What a waste of a time machine

Starting point is 00:51:59 I'm still doing that now They actually records are back but You can still go to a record store. What a waste of a time machine. You can still do that now. Totally. They actually, yeah, records are back. But a waste of a time machine is the best description of that possibly.

Starting point is 00:52:13 What a horrible take that is. That's crazy. Like, I'm going to get in a time machine so I can go back and find music that I can currently find pretty easily. I think he came up with the visual, the hand gestures before he actually came up with the answer Just like the big wheel that he was driving. Yeah He thinks that's fucking comedy. Well, he's a radio guy

Starting point is 00:52:36 Do you think originally he was like maybe I'll go back and shoot Reagan or go to a record store And he just had to choose one of those for the video video I hope so. I hope it was down to two choices both of the same day In an hour though. I don't know. All right. I have a special presentation for us today because There's a user came into our subreddit recently kibble and bliss. And they posted this podcast that came out in 2016. It's called the peripheral hosted by Justin Evans. And what this Redditor is

Starting point is 00:53:17 telling us is that this show had a guest on their show. One Marissa Jones. Now if, one Marissa Jones. Now, if you remember Marissa Jones, her photo's right over there. We still highlight her here on WATP because she's the host of the Vanish podcast and she actively tried to ruin my life and I haven't forgotten it, nor will I.

Starting point is 00:53:38 Well, according to this Redditor, and I believe it to be true, she poses as a woman named Kathy on this show, and she tells a story about something that happened in her life. And this is the disclaimer, it's a weird disclaimer, before she comes on the show. This is by no means a defense of drunk driving

Starting point is 00:54:01 and the actions that she'd taken. We do not condone it whatsoever. Please understand that the intention of this episode, so other people can hear what it's like to be charged with a DWI and all the horrible ramifications that go along with it. All right, so they're not encouraging you to drink and drive. That's good to know. I would think that would be a bad look if they were doing that. So let's find out what happened to the person who I believe to be Marissa Jones. Now I do have some evidence that will reveal in a moment, but it sounds exactly like Marissa Jones. And I did see speculation on multiple subreddits about this, on True Crime subreddits, a lot of people talking about this.

Starting point is 00:54:51 I ended up hitting a parked car. I didn't hit the car coming towards me, which it was like my saving grace that I hit a car that nobody was in. So the next thing I remember is being at my house. Now my house is about a mile away from where the accident happened. Very close. I driven my car home and I remember my car was damaged, very damaged. It ended up being totaled.

Starting point is 00:55:22 So already hold on a second. This story is nuts. She hit a parked car and just drove a mile drove a mile very close in a totaled car Yeah, and a car that you couldn't fix because it's not worth it Stories not checking out Also doesn't remember anything after hitting the car just that she arrived at home, right? So there was a mile of that's an important aspect of the story. Yeah, based on the complaining that she's going to do. And there was never a point where I was said to myself, I'm going to flee the scene and go home. I didn't say, you know, I didn't make that conscious decision. I don't remember driving home. Yeah, you don't remember driving home

Starting point is 00:56:06 You don't know if you made that decision or not. You probably did you like fuck? She's like it's like I was trying to flee the accident or something get away with it It's like no, that's precisely what you were doing. She got home and said did I just flee the scene? I remember hitting the car I'm going to go see what just happened in the last three or four minutes. I remember hitting the car. The main crux of this. I remember doing

Starting point is 00:56:33 that. Committing the crime, I guess. Yeah. But after that, it gets a bit fuzzy. Well, I love how she got caught because she's just, she's describing she, they were at this bar, they stayed longer than she thought they were going to. They had more drinks than she thought she was going to have, you know. It happens. Story as old as time. The band was good. What are you going to do?

Starting point is 00:56:46 So then she drives down this tight little alleyway and there's cars parked on both sides and the cars coming towards her so she just drives into a parking lot. As one does. Smart decision. I can't imagine what that car looks like if her car's towed right. How fast was she going? But let's find out how she got Because of the damage to my car I Was kind of dragging the front Passenger side tire and it left a drag mark all the way to my house

Starting point is 00:57:34 Wakes up they hear crash they go. Oh shit my car's totaled Breadcrumbs in my pocket. I had no idea. The cops show up. You're like, how'd you find me? See, Andrew, that's really funny. I almost lost my shit. That was very funny. So then the police show up to her house. So she says she goes home. She's very drunk. She passes out and she's like, yeah, I knew I'd get my car fixed in the morning, but whatever, I'm gonna sleep it off. And then she gets woken up by a police officer or two. And she's not thrilled with the questioning.

Starting point is 00:58:14 They started questioning me and I was really confused still. Like they didn't ask me, like, were you injured or anything? And I was really confused about what was going on and what had happened. They were, you know, asking me question after question after question. And I'm like, I don't know. I was really confused. And I was kind of afraid of incriminating myself. Oh, there's the truth. They didn't even ask how I was feeling.

Starting point is 00:58:40 There's the truth. There's where the truth came out. They didn't even ask how I was feeling. I know. I can't believe it, yeah. The balls on this lady. Yeah, what are they supposed to do, tell you a story? I waffled a kid on a bike at a crosswalk and they didn't even ask me if I was okay.

Starting point is 00:58:55 Yeah, right. It's insane. Did you spill your drink? I can't imagine going through this and then going on a podcast and being like, and these cops are jerks. Yeah, I can't believe doing their fucking jobs. But they're on too. So then she says she refuses the breathalyzer and she explains why.

Starting point is 00:59:13 They handcuff me. I refuse to do the breathalyzer, but I requested a blood test because they're typically more accurate. Hold on a second. Accuracy is the concern here. She admits she's drunk. That's what I'm concerned with all the time. The reason why, in my mind, the reason why I would refuse a breathalyzer and want a blood test, it takes longer. You know, you would be able to get some of that alcohol out of your system, I believe. Took me to the hospital to get a blood test. Now if I were to refuse the blood test too, I would've lost, immediately lost my license for a year,

Starting point is 00:59:48 no questions asked. So that's kind of one of the things with the law where even if you had nothing to drink and you refuse it, then you lose your license. So. Isn't that incredible? Yeah. Yeah, but that's not the case here, right?

Starting point is 01:00:02 Because you were drunk and driving a car around. I love it. She goes, you know, this is crazy, but if you refused to do the breathalyzer they take your license away Well, if you're not drunk, then just do the breath. Yeah She's wrong no questions asked they asked you take a breath Numerous questions and then she gets to the hospital So she she's the one who said I refuse the breathalyzer. I wanted a blood test they get to the hospital They're like, okay time for your blood test. She's like, nope. I want my attorney. I want this. I want that like ma'am

Starting point is 01:00:34 It's 1 a.m. We're not calling an attorney. You have to take a test or you lose your license and you go to jail Those are your options. She's like, I can't believe those are my options like well you're the one who smashed up a car that drove parts of it back to your house and drew a line to your house yeah you look like you had just gotten married with the shit all right so and then she's complaining about the details in the police report for some reason there was a lot of discrepancies between the police report and what happened that night with the time was completely different. And it's not just me saying that and you would say, Oh, well you were drunk, but there

Starting point is 01:01:15 were other people like the time, like one of the times on the police report, like they were saying the accident happened later than it did because the place that we were drinking closed That night at a certain time and and I only drove dropped a friend off came back around There's no way it would have taken me that long. Well, I don't know how accurate that is First off who cares what time is what's the difference doesn't make it was that night some point that night Whenever it was reported they're found or whatever, but also like like well there are other people who believe me my other drunk friends Yeah, they their their time frame isn't right either Well, she said earlier and I was gonna go back and clip it after I heard that but I'll just tell you I just report

Starting point is 01:01:57 On it when she said that she stayed later than she thought she was going to they went to go see this bluegrass band And the band was really good and she goes so so yeah, so we ended up saying like nine or ten, but then there she goes, why no one the bar closed? So it couldn't have been, it's like, well, wait a second. You said you left around nine or ten. Yeah. We had an hour window. You weren't sure. So it's so dumb. Like why would you even bring this part up? Like you're obviously in the wrong on this. And so Justin, who I think is trying to take her side, trying to make her feel that yeah, you're not the one who's crazy here. As much as I don't condone or think that drinking and driving is okay. It is annoying to me that people think when you're

Starting point is 01:02:40 drunk, all of a sudden you're equivalent to someone being on LSD and you have the concept of a sudden you're equivalent to someone being on LSD and you have concept of anything and you see things and you're hallucinating like no, I would assume that we've all been drunk most most of America drinks, you know what it's like and you know that you're not as long as you're not blacked out drunk you're yeah you know you remember what song was playing on the radio yeah you know you know you remember details two things here First off she was blackout drunk. She didn't remember driving home. She mentioned that Secondly, I don't really goes. It's not like you're tripping or something Well when you're on LSD

Starting point is 01:03:17 You would definitely know what time it was. That's not a hard concept to figure out when you're drunk You could lose sight of a lot of things going on around you. So I don't know what this point's almost like you vanish Just like you weren't that fucked up you were just wasted Yeah, yeah, it's it's such a bizarre take to be like listen We've all been drunk and driven cars around before I don't know what the big deal is here This gets crazier. In fact, did you said that I'm gonna skip to this track most of the people in there They're it's not like when you go and then the courtroom and there's like the people coming in all chained to it yet to each other These are normal people. They you wouldn't expect to see in a courtroom

Starting point is 01:04:01 what like 80 something percent of the population drinks alcohol and Almost 90 percent of population drives cars, so it's She smashes up her car on a parked car when she's wasted drive around and he's like I'm sure everyone does that every week I'm a heavy drinker. I've never done that I'm a heavy drinker. I've never done that. I've never done that. I absolutely love the overlap where it's like 90% drive cars, 80% drink. You put those two

Starting point is 01:04:32 things together. 85% of the people out there are drunk driving. Yeah, I think I just laid out the facts pretty well just now, right? It's pretty obvious what's going on. Alright, so she has to go in order to get out of the DUI and not get her license suspended and all that stuff so she can

Starting point is 01:04:51 continue to work. She has to take these classes and things and she's not happy about the cost of these things or questions being asked. In the meantime, I had to go to this county agency and get a drug and alcohol evaluation. That cost me, I want to say about between $200 and $300 for that evaluation. Took about two hours and they just asked me a ton of questions. I mean, these were crazy, crazy questions. Some of them like, what kind of birth control do you use? You have to answer it.

Starting point is 01:05:28 Some of it's absurd, but they ask you things like somehow your birth control is relevant to this. Yeah, I don't know. I was like, what? And they're like, well, we only ask women this question. I'm like, what? Okay. So it's sexist.

Starting point is 01:05:42 Yeah. Well, why would you ask a man what kind of birth control he uses? The guy goes well that sounds very sexist. Well, no just logically That's you'd ask the woman that I am I I couldn't even believe I went into the hospital recently I thought I had broken my foot. I didn't but before they gave me the x-ray They didn't even ask me when I had my last period. I couldn't believe Well, and I was thinking about this so she had to answer all these questions She's like, why would they care about what birth control?

Starting point is 01:06:12 Well, maybe if you're like wildly irresponsible, you're taking plan B every other weekend. They might think that you're an alcoholic I don't know seems possible closing the bar every night. Yeah Seems possible. Closing the bar every night. Yeah. So. I mean, my favorite thing is the $200. It's like $200 on top of, I guess, whatever it cost me to fix my car.

Starting point is 01:06:32 This is really adding up. I would be embarrassed to complain about that on the internet. Yes. I'm glad you picked up on that, because this continues on, where she says, and then I have to hire an attorney, and that cost me this. And then I had to do this thing, and that cost me this.

Starting point is 01:06:44 So she's constantly adding up the amount of money it costs. And yeah, it sucks. Getting a DUI sucks. It costs a lot of money. We all know that. But she hired an attorney and her attorney did what all good attorneys do, Vince, lied.

Starting point is 01:07:01 So my attorney goes in with, it then talks to her with a story and he says, she forgot her phone and she went home to call the police. Now, if we're going with their timeline, she says, well, she should have stopped and started knocking on doors. And he was like, well, you know, she was really disoriented. She hit her head. And do you really want a young woman out at 10 30 at night knocking on people's doors? So they explain why didn't she call 911

Starting point is 01:07:35 when she had the accident? Why did she just flee? And the attorney goes, she forgot her phone at home, which is by the way, never happened to a woman ever in the history of the world. No woman would get to the bar and be like, Oh, I forgot my phone. All right, whatever. So this bed's pretty good You know what I mean? That's just not a thing Who would go on a podcast and say all this and not immediately email the guy be like can you never air this

Starting point is 01:08:04 never air this. This is a mistake. Especially if you're Marissa Jones of The Vanished. It seems crazy to do this. I know. I was thinking the same thing. I was actually compelled by this because I'm like, is this woman's complaining? So she's that delusional and it does kind of check out that she would want to ruin someone's life over nothing. Yes. And the way that she treats the families and the way she talks about the police on The Vanished where she's just like, and these cops aren't doing shit And you know what they do you know what they are up to though is charging me with a D Questions they said I should have left the seat of the accident Can you believe it listen if you want a bad mouth cops?

Starting point is 01:08:38 I have all four but knowing that this is where it started or this is the reason oh my god Yeah, I just don't understand why you let this out there how yeah that this is where it started or this is the reason. Oh my God. Yeah. I just don't understand why you let this out there. How? Yeah, well. Why would you voluntarily talk about this on the internet? Well, now you understand the disclaimer. It's like, listen, we don't condone drunk drivers.

Starting point is 01:08:56 It's gonna sound like we do quite a bit. No, we condone ripping on jerks. I had this mental breakdown over a couple of days because he then tells me, you know, mental breakdown over a couple of days because he then tells me, you know, if that happens and you have to plead guilty, you're going to have to do at least three days in jail. And I start having like complete panic attack because I'm like, what am I going to tell my kids? Mommy's got to go to jail.

Starting point is 01:09:24 Yeah. Yeah. So I started having, you know, like total mental breakdown over this. And also it's just that the whole idea of going to jail is terrifying. Yeah. Remember how mommy was arrested? Now I have to go to jail. And this is a good lesson for all of you about consequences.

Starting point is 01:09:41 Could she have something on Justin where she's like hey, I'm gonna come on your platform Yeah, you have to defend me right of that thing that I know about you. I wonder yeah Cuz it doesn't make any sense the way he's talking there is just like you know I get it This is crazy. He seems logical except in this instance, right? Someone posted in our discord go go gadget Wang posted a photo of Marissa Jones and says she's unfuckable and I have no standards Pretty good, I like it. All right, so you just heard that she's having a nervous breakdown She's all upset if she's found guilty She has to go to jail for three days and it just keeps getting worse

Starting point is 01:10:19 My attorney was late and I was you know continuing to have a mental breakdown. I was trying not to cry. I was trying to hold myself together. Of course, everybody else there had like a support person, but I didn't because I didn't, I didn't want like a witness to my, you know, like if I just totally lost it, I'd rather just be by myself. Then why'd you bring it up? If you didn't want a support person, why are you complaining that you didn't have one that to the world? What's going on? So now this guy Justin Evans the host is gonna try to sympathize with her and relate Let's say you didn't even drink alcohol. It's just a say you you took a big old swig of Nyquil

Starting point is 01:11:02 On the wheel you're technically Driving under the influence. Mm-hmm. Okay two things first off don't drink make well before you have to drive somewhere That's fucking dumb. I don't know why anyone would do that That'd be really stupid but secondly, but she didn't drink Nyquil did she she'd have a cold She was drinking with her friends at the bar Drove one of her friends home and then smashed up a parked car their friends at the bar, drove one of her friends home, and then smashed up a parked car. So why did you even bring that up? Can you believe it? Someone just doses you at the bar and all of a sudden now you're responsible for driving intoxicated.

Starting point is 01:11:33 I feel like Justin would be a good lawyer. And I don't think so. I'm kind of surprised the lawyer didn't pitch that as like, let's say you got roofied at the bar. It's not a big deal. Right. Just say that it's not your fault. So what she was going for, what her attorney was trying to help her do was get an ARD accelerated rehabilitative disposition. And so I looked to that out because she keeps saying ARD ARD. ARDs are only available in the state of Pennsylvania where Marissa

Starting point is 01:12:12 Jones lives. Oh, wait. Hold on. I'm making a note. I was going to say, I thought maybe you would know that. Yes. I thought maybe you would know that. There's a lot of Philly people involved in this show somehow. So, that's why again, I'm like, okay, it sounds exactly like her. This person who listens to her show says, this is Mar believe that I got I got my client ARD with leaving the scene and they're

Starting point is 01:12:49 like high-fiving and I'm just like you should be up there high-fiving him as well. What are you talking about? You're upset that your attorney is taking a victory lap on your behalf? It's amazing right he didn't think he's pulling off and he did. Can you believe it? I can't believe that works. I just actually looked up a real thing. These books are for sure. Right. Exactly. I'm thinking a line on. I moved for a bad court

Starting point is 01:13:18 thing. Alright, so, apparently, even though she got the ARD and now she's under probation for a year and there's a bunch of things she has to do, she has to go to classes or something like that, this is shocking. Now, if you get another DUI, it's still in their records for 10 years. So if you get another DUI, you can't go through ARD again. It then counts as a second DUI, which the consequences are way worse for each one. So this is like your one chance.

Starting point is 01:13:54 How is that fair? So wait, if you don't word your life out, just keep driving around drunk and smashing up cars. You get more trouble. She's already worried about the next one. Jesus Christ, woman. trouble. She's already worried about the next one. Jesus Christ, woman. Wow. She's insane. It sounds to me like there's been a lot of close calls before this one. Could you imagine you get pulled

Starting point is 01:14:14 over driving drunk like, don't even bother officer. I've already got a DUI. Yeah, that's double jeopardy. You're not getting me with that. All right. So, this is my last clip from this and It's amazing because you called this Doug as we were talking about it

Starting point is 01:14:29 So she's going through all of these costs that she had and complaining about that I don't know if they have these signs where you live, but there's these signs around here and they're like You know don't take a chance. You're about to blow ten thousand dollars. Yeah, the signs don't lie I mean, I didn't have to pay ten thousand But you're on five thousand at least now Yeah, yeah, and if you count the loss of my vehicle on it and what that was worth to me. That was a huge hit She's counting the loss of her vehicle. You're the one who destroyed your vehicle What an idiot she's like, I mean, okay the court fees the attorney the class that I take vehicle

Starting point is 01:15:12 Mean okay the court fees the attorney the class that take five thousand bucks, but also I'd sentimental value with that card You're insane All right, this is this whole thing. It's crazy makes no sense. Why would you do this? Why would you voluntarily share this information out there? It's crazy Wow she really believes she can do no wrong. Why would you do this? Why would you voluntarily share this information out there? It's crazy. Wow. She really believes she can do no wrong. Yeah. So that's a it's an interesting peek into the mind of the woman who tried to ruin my life. Marissa Jones from the Venice. Check it out, everybody. All right. Here's a fun little segue we have. So, mister Hannah sent me a note and this happened a couple of weeks ago but Legion of Skanks had on Doctor Drew Pinsky and Ari Shafir and they were talking about this crack Amiko song, Two Bears, One Grave. I we played this when I

Starting point is 01:16:02 was on the Drew and Mike show a couple of weeks ago, this song. I'll play a little bit for you so you guys know what I'm talking about if you haven't heard this. But basically, this guy Crackamico, this white rapper who was discovered by rap, Louis J. Gomez's other show with Zac Amico. So this guy, Crackamico does these these great songs and this one's about Bert and Tom, Two Bears, 1K. We've talked about it many times down here. And this is an amazing diss track.

Starting point is 01:16:34 This is really, really well done if you haven't heard this. They ain't giving nothing, all they do is take money And it's so gay to get paid, that's why I'm putting two bears in one grave And you can never dig em up, ayy, two crack in your bitch, I'ma hit em up Gotta get back to the money, got millions, I'll stick em up You might stack a lot of money but your soul ain't gettin' saved Ay, it's too bad it's one grade You follow Rogan like some faggity bitches Pretty sad that we magically knew who Kat really dissed

Starting point is 01:17:11 And some raggedy dick queers careers tragically slipping And that's why McAfee see you and act dramatically different It's actually fitting your reputation drastically shifted Something's burning, I think you got too many hacks in the kitchen When I break my foot off in your ass you gon' be practically shittin' And pissin' and wishin' that we would drink your maggoty liquor Got a rich Lord dad, you ain't never had to suffer He worked for L. Ron Hubbard You a Scientology baby, need I say more

Starting point is 01:17:34 Every bitty the reliant stole it from J. Moore You a fat bitch, why you keep takin' the metabolic Losing weight but you still got the face of an alcoholic If it ain't a drinkin' problem then I don't know what to call it You done drank yourself retarded, you dumber than Lauren Compton. Watch him drink more liquor to fuck him up, quicker than I give fuck up for saying the word, nigger. And that's what you get for making these dumb bitches pay.

Starting point is 01:17:55 All right, so that first whole verse there was just crushing Bird Christ here, pretty funny. Great visuals, if you haven't watched this, check it out on YouTube. So let me just flip to the end because it gets pretty brutal at the end here to very funny stuff I'ma take all this top We know that story about Russia is fake Work with the mob, boy, you fuckin' insane Pipe and Lee in with your three favorite homies The closest you come in to runnin' the train Oh, girl lookin' lonely, man Better hope that bitch don't start a OnlyFans

Starting point is 01:18:30 Downsack, cause your joke's bad Now Joke World is your OnlyFans Tommy's a girl and no Joe Rogan made you Fit in the game but to my degree, played you No broken arms, I'm bringin' you harm Sippin' shots and you gone, Paramedics won't save you Look at y'all fuckin' pussies, man All that money but you still down bad

Starting point is 01:18:44 Tryna suck Shane Gillis dick. Sucking Joe Rogan fat dick. Throwing Tony Hinchcliffe clitoris on God. Fuck. When we played this on Drew's show, Drew goes, is that true girl? Joe Rogan is a fat dick. I'm a podcasting expert. I don't have all the answers over here. But yes. Red bar radio anthem. Click bow but shots at random. I'm homies Yeah, all the answers over here. But yes.

Starting point is 01:19:26 So at the end there you see Ari Shafir dosing, which is something that he did to bird crash. It's a well-known story. So Ari, like I said, is on with Legion of Skanks, Legion of Skanks, Dave Smith, Louis J Gomez, big Jay Okerson. Big Jay's a big fan of the whole dabble verse. He likes to follow it. And he's going to explain in this clip here, because what they decide to do is send that video to Bert. So Ari texts him the link to it. He goes, Bert, check this out. I'm on Legion of Skates right now. Call in after you watch this and tell us what you think about it. So Big Jay here is explaining that, look it, when there's some like biting humorous stuff about you, you gotta laugh, especially if they

Starting point is 01:20:03 get it right. And I think this is why Jay enjoys the devil verse and is a fan of these shows, because he gets it. Oh shit. Woo! He's still watching it right now. Do you think it's hurting him or is he laughing? No, no, no, at first he started,

Starting point is 01:20:16 hold on, he started smiling the first 30 seconds of it. The thing about his wife might have been a bit too far. And then about a minute and a half in, the smile turns into a frown. I don't know why negative press to me, and again, I'm not talking about negative people, like I said, like, clever press. The people who are trying to get people canceled

Starting point is 01:20:34 is a different thing. Critical, like shit talking to me is the funniest because they definitely hit on the things you think about yourself. And that's why it's funny. Now, while Crack Amigo hasn't gone at me plenty of people have and I just say I don't know Right, it always strikes me as funny. I just like I never like I'm never heard if they're really Exquisitely accurate then it's funny. Yes. Yes comedy is truth, right?

Starting point is 01:20:58 Yeah, so I like big J's take on this cuz he even says if you're trying to get people canceled and shit go fuck yourself Right. I mean, this is why John doesn't have any fun with this thing because he's trying to get me arrested And try to get our channel ticket down our patreon ticket I was like well, you're not really enjoying this the way you should be. Yeah, it's like oh, yeah I do just kind of rely on that. He sure is right But I don't take it that's I don't know why it doesn't hit me that hard I understand people do get upset and people also go by the way go too far sometimes Yeah, but crack amico for some reason to me. It's always been like it's in the idea of like let me go here

Starting point is 01:21:30 What's going on? There's a woman in the back just having her own conversation So Lewis is pissed Because I think this is the stand is where they do this show so they do it live room every Monday night and there's a big crowd kind of around them watching the show and This conversation is having a Lewis gets a look on his face like I'm gonna murder this person in the audience Yeah, I was Oh, it's dr. Drew's wife. I got mad at dr. Drew's wife you dumbass. Well, you should have seen my face I was like would somebody shut that bitch up

Starting point is 01:22:06 Can you fire I shot up. I was I was I'm gonna watch Bert's reaction that guy really has done his research. He's a fan of all of us. He knows more about me than my fucking wife. Holy shit. He's very talented. I can't sit on his flow and everything. I have a couple things I hold umbrage with. That's what we want to know. I Hold holds umbridge he holds up bridge It's all stuff your father said. When he goes, when he's like, you never had this drug, you came from a rich father, I was like, God damn it, I didn't know anyone knew that.

Starting point is 01:23:43 I didn't know that. No, my dad wasn't rich, but you know, it's like, obviously I mean, I don't think crack amico probably knew his dad. It sounds like, Oh, shots fire. I'm just saying like with that flow, usually they don't. You're probably right. You probably are right. He's white, right? Yeah, he's white. He's got to be white. It sounds like a white dude. You can tell he's not... The person's like, oh shit, I probably shouldn't have said he didn't know his father. He's a white guy, right? Oh, thank God.

Starting point is 01:24:16 That would have sucked. He's not all there, but... He's like Appalachian white. There's a couple things that I've seen worse online. If that's any consolation. No, I'm telling you, he's a fan. No, no, no. That was like, I actually, I gotta be honest with you.

Starting point is 01:24:36 I was a little flattered, you know, because like I was just talking to my dad the other day and he said, he's like, I left a comment on your Instagram buddy. And I was like, Oh, I don't read that shit. And he's like, I left a comment on your Instagram, buddy. And I was like, Oh, I don't read that shit. And he was like, why not? And I go, well, there's people that hate me. He was like, for real. He goes, I know you should have heard my comment. Websites dedicated to hating me.

Starting point is 01:24:57 And my dad started laughing and it goes, you're my son and I don't think about you, but once a week, like that would hurt more than some of these comments on Instagram. Also, so to Bird, holding umbrage means when somebody says hurtful things about you that are true? Yeah! I know, he's not refuting anything so far. He's just like, well, that's not the case at all. He's like, I hold umbrage with all of that stuff that was really painful because it's all true.

Starting point is 01:25:27 Yeah. Okay. He was like, what kind of loser thinks about you that much? Your dad is a genius. Crack Miko dad. True. No, Crack Miko is a fan of the whole universe of the comic, of all of us.

Starting point is 01:25:40 So he just makes his things, he makes diss tracks and they are fantastic. They're pretty great. Yeah, no, I don't think JJ, I think you're using the collective we're too little too loosely. Fair enough. Yeah, by the way, we're gonna send you the song that he wrote about the Legion of skanks called skank fest shit. After the words, it's a similar thing that he did to you guys.

Starting point is 01:26:02 Oh, for real? No, no, it was pretty nice it sounded great, it was super positive but here's the thing he did have one shitting on it he set him up perfectly for that he shits on everyone he shits on us too did he really? no

Starting point is 01:26:18 he thinks we're really funny, he hurts crying somewhere it really hurt Louis had a funny joke, he called him hurt Cricier aw LA comics that you would actually like It really hurt Louie's had a funny jokey caught him hurt Chrysler LA comics that you would actually like you it wasn't it was called LA is gay and then it just turned into a diss track I'm Brendan Shaw up the entire time I was safe and the first comment said, you know Bert Kreitzer's bitch ass is reading this. That's right. So Bert, you've heard Crackamico before

Starting point is 01:26:52 because you heard the LA is gay, Brendan. Brendan, show up to this track. And it's so funny, but it's not you, right? Oh yeah. I think he's picking, in order for him to get very successful, I have to get bigger. But we're not working on that. Ah, you're pretty big. Yeah, you're I think he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, The invite to be on the comedy tour now while will crack amico show up on fully loaded The audience would go fucking nuts

Starting point is 01:27:51 Me go come hang out with me at dance owner on tour right a positive for a Chrysler song. He lives in like fucking he's living like the Florida. North Carolina. You know, listen, I, you can't, the guys watch. What? Ari that timing was amazing Literally just got him in the Danny Tanner moment We're gonna be together all summer so Bert that was Ari. I think that was fucked up Alright, so I thought that was interesting It's it's fun to see a reaction immediately when someone really hits hard. That was a great song. Very well done. So Bert took it pretty well.

Starting point is 01:28:36 Sounded a little frazzled. Yeah, a little bit. And I love the fact that he goes, Ah, that's cool, man. He can come along with me on my tour, but he has to write a positive song about me first Yeah, we don't negotiate with terrorists there That's not gonna happen is it something where a lot of celebrities are just very sensitive people Yes, just just really you you can cut them so easily like I've Carl just like you I've gotten bad reviews of my show and stuff, and I've I've read just like me if I got bad reviews You know what? Fewer and fewer read on the podcast, but I've heard okay. I just I just don't I don't know maybe it's the internet Maybe that's maybe it's when?

Starting point is 01:29:18 People's reaction to what you do professionally is how you make your money like maybe that's where it all lies but it's something I just can't I can't understand I can't connect with it's called narcissism I'm used to people praising me all day long I have a PR person I'm my manager my agent all these people tell me how great I am all day long. And then this check up on the Internet says I'm not very funny. You know, who else was covering this information recently? Don't tell me you don't like my show. Don't tell me you don't like my show. Don't tell me.

Starting point is 01:30:03 Don't tell me you don't like my show. Don't tell me you don't like my show. Don't tell me you don't like my show. Don't tell me. I go for the no. Because that's absurd. That's right. Puke Water is the podcast. He's still putting out new episodes.

Starting point is 01:30:15 One just dropped a few days ago. And what's amazing about- I just love the fact that it's called Puke Water. I know. The full, just the idea of him, the idea of him, the idea of him, the idea of him, the idea of him, the idea of him, the idea of him, the idea of him, the idea of him, the idea of him, the idea of him, the idea of him, the idea of him, the idea of him, the idea of him, the idea of him, the idea of him, the idea of him, the idea of him, the idea of him,

Starting point is 01:30:23 the idea of him, the idea of him, the idea of him, the idea of him, the idea of him, the idea of him, the idea of him, the idea of him, the idea of him, the idea of him, the idea of him, the idea of him, the idea of him, the idea of him, the idea of him, the idea of him, the idea of him, the idea of him, the idea of him, the idea of him, the idea of him, the idea of him, the idea of him, the idea of him, the idea of him, the idea of him, the idea of him, the idea of him, the idea of him, the idea of him, the idea of He's still putting out new episodes one just dropped a few days ago And what's amazing about the fact that it's called puke what I know The full suggest the idea of him feeding off of what you've done and accepting it but also Rejecting at the same time He's he's amazing. I love him in there. Well. He was doing free water And it only made sense that he'd now be doing puke water. This is puke water. He always starts up the show by saying hey it's Patti Pukewater aka Patti Zekops aka Patti Broken Scholar goes through all the AKAs aka Mr. AKA all those things and he starts off his show so what's amazing

Starting point is 01:31:02 about Pukewater I don't have a lot to play about it He does a great job preparing for it. He said he claims for this most recent episode He wrote down his notes in his script twice. He went back and went this isn't good enough. Let me try this again This is very on Patrick Michael ask. That's crazy So he goes on and the first segment because he has segments, which is great first segment all death metal Yeah, he's still doing that He goes, you know what? I'm really into are my metal vocals and he plugs his Instagram page or whatever Tick-tock wherever he's doing that and he goes I know there isn't any overlap between people like my death metal vocals and my podcasting but go fuck yourself

Starting point is 01:31:43 Cuz now we're gonna talk about that for 20 minutes. That's Patty for you. Yeah that's Patty for you. So he's going through he discovered some new metal band that was like Bye Bye Bunny I think they're called and he goes what's up what's up with these bands they use the word bunny and he even referenced the bunny the bear which is a Buffalo band yeah that dug from the jingles department recorded many times i was like i knew they were pretty popular but i didn't realize they were on patties right now i thought that's exciting but then he starts talking about bad bunny and what i like about this version of patrick michael is that he's prepared with a take

Starting point is 01:32:22 because you wonder sometimes you know he's just going off the top of his head What if he had a little time to prepare and write down some jokes? Here's the answer. I don't know any of his music, but his name's Bad bunny, I believe which Weird choice, you know what I mean when you have the choice as an artist to Pick your nickname

Starting point is 01:32:43 Pick your pseudonym whatever it is right your alias and this guy decides to go with bad bunny says patty sea cups all right yeah I don't know what that means like did he grow up as a fan just watching constant bugs bunny shit he's like that's a bad bunny and he's like, oh shit. Hey, that's perfect homes. Hey, what if it does like my You know what I wouldn't do this thing if it wasn't a great take but based on your guys reaction maybe it is Let's let's do that again Bad buddy. You think this guy was watching bugs bunny. No We don't but okay, and he's like, oh shit

Starting point is 01:33:22 Hey, that's perfect homes. Hey, what if what if does like my nickname dude like what if I sang into a carrot? Like well, I don't understand Bunny Hispanic, I don't I don't follow bad buddies music all that close He sings into a carrot He wrote this twice yeah, I wish I was a fly in the water when the first version didn't go over What do you think he was like what did he grow up watching Daffy Duck? He wasn't back. It's like that doesn't fucking make sense

Starting point is 01:34:03 Damn it. I gotta redo this whole thing. I don't know like it doesn't sound cool It's not somebody's somebody's name that I'd see on Spotify without knowing the music and be like oh shit bad bunny That sounds cool. Let me click on that no because my initial thought is hey probably a girl Probably a lady probably a white Probably a girl. Probably a lady. Probably a white female rapper. A dame. I'm not expecting it to be this, you know, multi-talented, I don't even know what the guy does honestly, but I'm just going to give him his flowers.

Starting point is 01:34:34 Multi-talented artist who's crossed over to mainstream, you know, American media, I guess. I don't know, dude. I know nothing about this guy. I've just seen him at... That takes her the fucking back guess I don't know dude. I don't know This is what I miss about The original chewed gum where he had no clue what he was talking about. Yes. Yeah, this is where this is where you shy Stop, but there's an innocence about it. Yeah, so charming right crossed over to mainstream, you know American media I guess I don't know dude. I know nothing about this guy. I've just seen him at so many UFC events Nothing about you. Okay, so they just point him out at the UFC. And that's a bad bunny. Bad bunny's in attendance.

Starting point is 01:35:29 Yeah, but was he yelling shit like Meek Mill was? That's what I want to know. Alright. One more clip from this because then he goes into what we were just talking about. And Bert Kreischer responding and Legion of skanks and all that kind of stuff and then he starts talking about cat Williams on Joe Rogan Remember this episode just came out four days ago. He's a little behind but that's okay. So I Don't hear Patty do impressions very often. I get very excited what he does. I watched this entire cat Williams Interview with Joe and boy does this guy have a way of speaking not just that crazy low voice that crazy high voice

Starting point is 01:36:09 That he's got you know the cat way whatever Not an impressions guy, but He's got this crazy Give yourself some credit there Yeah, okay, please about the show that and the bad bunny impression these are good voices Williams came into the room He's got this crazy Way of like pausing through his talking which I don't do

Starting point is 01:36:42 You know not because I want to take away the dramatic emphasis on certain things but What a waste I know I'd rather just You know puke water, you know Vomit if you know pretty good stuff, huh? Wow Doug So he paused on purpose there, right? He's like I wouldn't do something like that good gag Doug? So he paused on purpose there, right? Yes, he did. That was the joke. He's like, I wouldn't do something like that.

Starting point is 01:37:07 Good gag. He's so great. I used to listen to him all the time. I had not listened to him in years. And I'm going to find Puke Water and I'm going to subscribe. Yeah, it's on, I couldn't find it on my podcast app. It's on YouTube. Okay.

Starting point is 01:37:23 So look for Puke Water on YouTube. He also has a new YouTube channel. It might be the same one that he goes live on from time to time. He's still very difficult to find, but at least he's starting to plug stuff that he's doing. And honestly, knowing that you were coming on the show today, Doug, I went, I got to check in on Patty Puke Water. So you and I go way back with this guy. Oh I was recently You know in a five below as we do and I can't go in a five below without thinking to this guy I should I tried to find them the light up cactus. I couldn't find it in my five below, but there were plenty of headphones Yeah, you got to get a variety of headphones at the five below because you never know Well that he had 15 parrot he's like of course. I'm a professional podcast. I have 15 pairs of headphones

Starting point is 01:38:17 More than one just one pair it's not really you need All right We were doing point dabble point yesterday very excited that drew lane joined the show. He had a blast Uh, everyone seemed to have a lot of fun on the show. We did it differently than normal So it was me and a cute public drew lane and anthony zennhauser And the four of us actually played clips. Normally point dabble point roundtable discussion. What'd you pick up on from the week? What's going on in the world of Suthering John?

Starting point is 01:38:49 And there was a lot of that, but I also had a ton of clips to play and there's a bunch I didn't get to. And if you guys don't mind, let's check it out. Alright, so I mentioned this on point devil point yesterday. I made a comment the week before that I don't think John has a lot of friends. And the reason why I say that is because he drinks by himself every night on the internet. So, I don't know. That seems like a pretty

Starting point is 01:39:34 good guess, right? John was not happy with that. And he was just like, well, who's Lady K's friends? You know, he's he's going on and on about how I don't have any friends. What's, he's he's going on and on about how I don't have any friends. What's crazy? It's fair. What's crazy is this is

Starting point is 01:39:50 literally the only podcast in the devil verse that has a studio where multiple people sit in the same room and do a show together. I don't think there's any other show that does that. It's like the only one where we actually get

Starting point is 01:40:00 together with our friends and do a show. Mm hmm. But John has to go through and list all of his friends to let us know that he does have friends. What's crazy about it is that he starts with his Long Island friends. Now, John grew up in Long Island. We all have friends where we grew up. That's the nature of going to school and playing sports and being in bands. It's like you meet a bunch of people going

Starting point is 01:40:22 to college and maybe stay in touch with them or whatever. But then when you move to the other side of the country, you're probably not that close to friends with them anymore. But that was the longest list of people was long out. Then he got to California. I think he said three different names. He's lived there for 20 years. Man, I think he has three friends in California. He met every celebrity there is in 10 years on this night show and he has three. Sounds nuts, but whatever. But the list gets even worse here. You know, then you can go to California and you have mediated Mike and my a few of my good buddies at the pub. Oh boy.

Starting point is 01:41:05 So then you go to Florida. Oh jeez. I misrem go to Florida It's worse than I thought So after the list in Long Island he goes then you go to California. There's Mike and couple guys from the pub Talk about the Yankees fucking hell Oh, no, so now okay, so now we're going to Florida his new home And you got my buddy John and Norbert and you got my buddy Your buddy Joey Sativa who I mean Bobby Sativa sorry He doesn't know their names. So he named himself and that Eddie Murphy movie

Starting point is 01:41:49 and then he got the guy's name wrong. Yes. Goes on and on. Yeah, I think it just stopped. Now, and then you go to my Tonight Show friends, my Stern Show friends, Doug Goodstein, Scott DePace. Scott DePace blocked you. You guys don't talk anymore. He's listing him as his friend. That was the second name from Stern? Scott DePace? Yeah.

Starting point is 01:42:14 Carl, this is why I do not keep the comments up because Eric Snell wrote, am I other friend than Nutty Professor? That's good. So wait, he's organizing this fucking Tonight Show reunion. Yes. And he actually is still close with all those people. He mentioned none of them. Correct. He had to put out a Facebook post in order to get in touch with them. He doesn't have their phone numbers. It's embarrassing. John, it's a public Facebook post telling people, hey, let's

Starting point is 01:42:39 all get together from the Tonight Show. And he's been painting himself on the back for organizing it. What is wrong with his hair? That looks digitally painted on. He's been putting his head together from the tonight show and he's been painting himself on the back for organizing it too. Oh yeah. What is wrong with his hair? That looks like digitally painted on. What's right with his hair? It's terrible. Someone was

Starting point is 01:42:55 speculating because John says he goes to supercuts or something to get his hair dyed. That tracks. I don't think so. I don't I don't think they would do that bad a job. Right. At a place that does. does I realize they're not the cream of the crop But it's super cuts, but that's what they do for a living. Yeah, I think that that is

Starting point is 01:43:10 The pharmacy you go in you look at the just for men you like oh, that's 30 bucks No, no you go you start to look down a little bit you find the generic just for retail But and someone was speculating this I don't know. It's a little too expensive. But and someone was speculating this. I don't know if this is true or not. It's just fun to talk about. Apparently there is a dye for like your facial hair that's

Starting point is 01:43:35 less expensive. So they think he's buying the less expensive facial hair dye and putting that in his head because it's not blending well. You know. Oh my god. Like they have those commercials a touch of gray like you don't want to go it's too obvious. Right. You know you want it to blend a little bit. Yeah. That's right. Yeah. Emmett Smith. You got Emmett Smith that thing because it looks amazing.

Starting point is 01:43:58 Isn't Keith Hernandez in those commercials too? Probably. Probably. Scott the engineer, Ronnie Mundt. I mean. Oh, so that's great too. So he lists four people from the Stern show. Ronnie Mundt. He was not invited to Ronnie's wedding. Right. That just happened recently. Oh. She really was invited. John was not and he's like

Starting point is 01:44:24 we're friends. You're not Sorry, John There's a weird thing to nitpick but this gets really funny right here got the pace Scott the engineer Ronnie Mond. I mean the list goes on and on but lady K is Gonna sit there and say I don't have any friends and then we go to my brother-in-law Who's my good buddy? Uh-huh, and then we go to my nephews I? mean No, wait, I got plenty of friends

Starting point is 01:44:57 We can include family members That dramatically increases my number of friends That dramatically increases my number of friends. Yeah me too. Is that crazy? My brother-in-law. The guy who married my sister, we're BFFs. My nephew. What kind of a loser do you have to be to go online and list friends? What kind of a loser? You're looking at it. You're looking at it right here. My god. It's funny. Oh, it's funny

Starting point is 01:45:26 Well, yeah his cats John's Credit to go go gadget way John's been goofing on me a lot lately saying that I sound like I'm dargling I have had a cold the last couple weeks, but that's part of it, but he's doing this thing where He goes John Like that's what I sound like. I don't get it, but he's doing this thing where he goes Like that's what I sound like. I don't get it, but The problem with John is that he thinks he's so funny that he actually embarrasses himself Trying to do the impression of me. It's not even on the first give that reason. Yeah, yeah

Starting point is 01:46:00 Don't get that reason Don't give them reasons. Yah! Rah! Rah! Rah! Rah! Rah! Rah!

Starting point is 01:46:08 Rah! Rah! Rah! Rah! Rah! Rah! Rah! Rah!

Starting point is 01:46:16 Rah! Rah! Rah! Rah! Rah! Rah! Rah! Rah!

Starting point is 01:46:24 Rah! Rah! Rah! Rah! Rah! immediately start goofing on me. It's like, well, maybe find something in context you can goof on that would make more sense. But no, no, no. He hears me say four words and then he mimics it and embarrasses himself. He's not even on the first. Don't give that reason, yeah. Yeah. Don't give that reason.

Starting point is 01:46:34 Yeah. Rarrr. Rarrr. Rarrr. Rarrr. Rarrr. Rarrr. This is transformative content here.

Starting point is 01:46:41 Rarrr. Rarrr. Rarrr. Rarrr. Rarrr. John. transformative content. John. This is how the man's gonna die. So john bonham when look at him. He's fucking losing his shit. He looks terrible, and this is so embarrassing I know he thinks that he makes faces. He's funny Bert Kreischer looks better than you do yes

Starting point is 01:47:14 Yeah, good point speaking of alcoholic face look at this look at that face. It's like he's wearing a Suthering John mask He's wearing a Sutter and John mask But what's crazy is that this is all embarrassing it's not funny and John always says that we laugh at our own jokes and watch how John wraps this God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, and John goes off embarrassed himself laughs at his own jokes because he thought he was being hilarious and then he's just like, Carl, what do you have to say about that? I think you're a loser. I think you look terrible and you're not

Starting point is 01:48:13 funny. That's what I have to say about that. Thanks for asking. Appreciate it. That's just off the top of your head and John has been doing this thing where he corrects everybody and we played the great uh Dr. Todd Grande who explains one of the characteristics of narcissistic personality disorder which is what I'm diagnosing

Starting point is 01:48:32 John with is they feel a need to correct people when they spell something incorrectly or the grammar's off. John's spelling is atrocious. His grammar is crazy bad. I've seen no evidence of that. Oh, I've seen some. I've seen some. But this is beyond because now John is remembering a time that he corrected somebody else from years ago and bragging about that. I gotta drink a monster or something. Thanks for the five or three minutes after you something. Thanks for the fiber. Three minutes after you mocked her for Achilles, you mispronounced. No, it's Felicia. She said on her show, she said on KB's show the other day, it's not Felicia,

Starting point is 01:49:15 it's Felicia. So who's mispronouncing it now? See now, this is where you look stupid. And this is what I crave people like you. It's like when Baba Booey once said, when I said on Facebook, I spelt it correctly. And he says, John, it's spelled. And I had to show him the Webster dictionary that spelt is a word, S-P-E-L-T. And then he wrote back I stand corrected Well now you if you were really a man

Starting point is 01:49:49 You would or you know, that's that's I guess What do they call that? stupid Is that misogynistic or sexist? But if you are real, it's neither. I don't know how you could say it Embrace the fact that you fucked up not only does Jen remember every compliment he's ever been paid by anyone He also remembers every time he's corrected someone This is a show he puts this out there just to get super chats, right? Like that's that's all he's doing He's going he's going longer and longer. He's getting super chat. It's not ad reads. I'll tell you that

Starting point is 01:50:31 He does get these super chats coming in and that's basically what his show is He's pretty much figured out the Kevin Brennan model and this is the model that everybody wants I want to do zero prep I want to sit down in front of my computer and have people give me money and I'll just read what they wrote and I'll do zero prep. I want to sit down in front of my computer and have people give me money and I'll just read what they wrote and they'll pay me five and 10, $20 at a time to do that.

Starting point is 01:50:48 The difference between what John is doing and what Kevin Brennan is doing is that Kevin brings other people on the show and he goes, look at these assholes. And everyone goes, yeah, those guys are assholes. And Kevin gets to read jokes on Ray DeVito and Chad Zumach. John sits there and goes, hey, look at, I'm an asshole. And everyone goes, yeah, you're an asshole.

Starting point is 01:51:03 He has to sit there and read it. Which seems like it wouldn't be great for your psyche. Zumaq John says they're gonna hey look at how an asshole ever goes out here an asshole. Yes, it's a third Rita Which seems like it wouldn't be great for your psyche But it's good for us. It's great for us. Oh, yeah Okay, I love it. It's fun So more on how smart John is funny how I said that more on how smart job Little Freudian slip there. It is hard for a man of my intelligence to comprehend how stupid these guys are. You must remember, you have a guy who went to SUNY Brockport, and you have a guy

Starting point is 01:51:38 that dropped out of high school. And then you have me with a bachelor, a BFA from New York University, the number 38 ranked university in the world. I have a real estate license that I passed the first time. And I aced the C best. Okay. So first off, I agree. I've never met a dumb realtor. That's definitely true. Whenever you meet someone who's a realtor, you're always just like, wow. Yeah, I'm always impressed. You must have an advanced degree. That's incredible. I realtor's are great.

Starting point is 01:52:17 I'm joking. But then he goes into the test he took to be a substitute teacher. So that dropped out first. 38th ranked university in the world, realtor substitute teacher. So that dropped off first 38th ranked University of the World realtor substitute teacher. That's who we just got to. Left Uber out. He did leave Uber on. Maybe he failed that one. But it's also crazy because if you think about it'd be one thing if it's like well I graduated high school and I graduated community college and then I got a four-year degree. Oh, okay. You're taking steps. John is taking steps in the wrong direction. 35 years ago, I got my bachelor's of fine arts degree and then I became a realtor 25 years after that and then I became a substitute teacher because of an emergency in California.

Starting point is 01:53:00 And now I beg for a super chance. Now I'm excited about feudal director giving me 20 bucks. I might go for my C class license next week. And now I beg for a super chance I might go for my c-class license next week Which is comprehensive algebra reading and writing and it's not like you think we're right You have to fucking present arguments. You have to fucking back down You're a professor. Yeah. I think you probably would know more about this than John would, but I love the fact that he goes, it's not reading and writing like you think it is.

Starting point is 01:53:32 What do you think I think it is? You civilians. Yeah. You guys have no idea. Just the idea of arguing with people that aren't there about degrees that you have. I can't understand this crazy. Only a dumb person would do this. Yeah, very insecure person.

Starting point is 01:53:50 Extremely insecure. Yeah. All right. Idea for a bonus show. We got to get our hands on the C best test. Oh, right. Yeah, we've been talking about that before. I want to see how hard this test is that just like,

Starting point is 01:54:02 it's a four hour test. I want to see the exam. If you do judge. It's a four-hour test. I want to see If you do it can I please be part of this Be so much fun. I want to know how hard it is with the reading and yeah, I'm pretty stupid I mean, you know, yeah, regardless of what I do for a living. I'm not very smart I really want to see how I do on this test. Well, you know what they say about teachers, right? Oh, no. No, I know Yeah, I'm proof. I never refute that. You have to fucking present arguments. You have to fucking back them up and present arguments and then provide rationale. Can you believe that? You can't just say wild dumb thing. You have to explain why you think that's the case. Oh my god. You have to write

Starting point is 01:54:45 grammatically correct sentences That's you also could have said you have to write sentences. That's just what people do every day You have to spell words correctly sometimes not just for four hours And everything else everything else could never achieve Those kind of gonna find out like I have and it's ridiculous You know and I'm not like look a lot of my friends at the pub are contractors. Oh, they sound like dummies

Starting point is 01:55:23 Look, a lot of my friends at the pub are contractors. Oh, they sound like dummies. They probably don't have their four year degree like Newdale. Where you going with this, Josh? Yeah, let's see where he's going with this. A lot of them. And plumbers, they have, you know, and electricians. Oh, wow, these are just getting dub and dumber over here.

Starting point is 01:55:40 Wow, plumbers and electricians. I'm like contractors, Some are roofers. Yeah, right. You know, they're smart, but they decided to pick a trade, which is admirable too. I'm not putting anybody down, but I'm gonna put them down

Starting point is 01:55:58 because they call me stupid. And that insults my intelligence. Sounds like you have downs why did he even break up the contractors at the bar he's like oh shit they're probably gonna watch this and some of the people who work there are bartenders there's like an owner what do you mean dude so if you didn't think this could get dumber, this becomes the most childish argument in the history of childish arguments. Becomes?

Starting point is 01:56:32 My father went to Rensselaer, RPI. It's one of the best engineering schools in the world. My father has four degrees. See, and that's what I'm trying to hide. He's dead but and he was a World War Two vet. These guys don't have the achievements that the Melendez have achieved. No. We're all adults and he's literally using my dad as smarter than your dad. That's incredible. I can't believe this is what's going on right now, and he's not the least embarrassed. No

Starting point is 01:57:08 It's not a bit. He's doing it's not a character that he's playing. This is John It goes back to the thing. We always say if he had developed this character, it'd be brilliant Which is why he's so mad at Ali G boy. He's wow, Ali G actually developed these characters that people think are hilarious. And I'm just an idiot. Chaka Khan writes, I aced the C best after partying all night. Easiest exam ever, I believe. Chaka Khan then wrote, I scored high in math and got a D in algebra.

Starting point is 01:57:38 So I'm actually feeling pretty good. Chaka Khan, I'm right on your level there. I think I could do this test. Is it algebra, math? I'm right on your level there. I think I could do this test. Is it algebra math? I'm confused All right, so maybe we should stop making fun of John's intelligence because his dad had four degrees Sorry, John and was a good point. That's a good point. Okay. I've really never heard an adult say that before I Played this on the show yesterday, but it needs to be played again would that kill you Kevin oh? I dribbled

Starting point is 01:58:09 emergency episode I burped and I will tell you that uncle Rico was on it last night did do an emergency episode About this very thing because watch this even dr. Steve was messaging me about this I've never seen someone drool out of the top of their mouth before The usually drool comes out of your bottom lip. Yeah, I've had this in slow-mo watch this closely Like I haven't seen that since the movie alien yeah, crazy How is there that much? Saliva this is why he's making fun of you gargling. He's trying to get in front of his own saliva problem Maybe yeah, totally

Starting point is 01:58:53 Bizarre him doing that gargling. It's coming from a high school drop-up Producer Chris is one of them. Well, I dropped out went to college a year early, so it's not really... Oh, shit. Same. Regular doogie housing. But you did say drop out! Yeah, I dropped out. Okay.

Starting point is 01:59:13 And then not long after that drooling... Hold on. Oh, no! I'm mad at Producer Chris Roudal. He closed his eyes eyes and just for that I'm gonna make you watch this a clockwork orange style. This is the slow version of this sneeze fit Watch this one

Starting point is 01:59:40 Watch this one. Wow. It's so thick to this saliva in his mouth. It doesn't want to leave. It's like holding onto the glue holding them together. It's like it's like that dinosaur that killed new in a Jurassic Park. But the crazy thing is I pointed this out yesterday. I never once after he does shit like this, I never see him grab a napkin or a paper towel or a Kleenex or something.

Starting point is 02:00:11 Like if I drooled into my own lap, the first thing I would want to do is clean it up. Or if I sneezed across the council here, he got it all over the place. He's like, well, that's over. That disgusting discharge is just on the floor somewhere. It's crazy. Oh. The cats will get it. All right.

Starting point is 02:00:32 So the big thing that's happening in my world, in the devil verse, is that John's lying about playing lead guitar on his first album. And it is now my mission to prove this album right here. Believe this is Atlantic Records. I think that's what he says. This is an album that contains many guitar riffs and solos. I don't think John played them. I don't think John's a very good guitarist. He claims to be a good guitarist, but he can't prove it. He hasn't

Starting point is 02:01:03 shown us that. And people are catching on to this. It's my goal over the next few weeks to prove this. But I already have a feeling just based on the way that this is getting to John that it's true. You know, because because I don't have a guitar here to play really. And he was saying that, you know, I said when I get to Florida, you know, I'll take the ax out, but I don't have my rig here. And then some idiot on dabblers that just came up is saying that,

Starting point is 02:01:34 oh, John didn't play the guitar on his album. Like, oh, okay. We've never seen John play ever. Okay, we've never seen John play ever. Yeah, okay. Okay Yeah, yeah, okay, you never saw me play just go to the fucking Fucking every fucking video that I've been that's been out there. I mean, there's actually live of me playing Which is how you play guitar there's live there's live Wow, so we have watched the video of John playing guitar and Conan O'Brien Yeah, and it was terrible. It was pretty bad. It was really bad. It was amateur at best Which is why I think that maybe the studio Maybe brought a guy in maybe a ringer. So sometimes on his show. He will just

Starting point is 02:02:22 Play he'll be watching his own clips yes wouldn't this be the time to play one of those clips this would be the time and refute everything he was gonna play the music video but then he's like I'll get a copyright strike okay but he probably could play Conan we've done that on this show before and no one's better than I had it so yeah you would think so but I really think he's nervous about this one. If you listen to my solo on King, I'm shredding, but I don't have it here. I don't have it on YouTube. So he explains that he has a solo on a song called King.

Starting point is 02:02:55 Both Andy and I looked it up before the show yesterday. We couldn't find it. So I don't know. I got to find out what this is. He's got to lighten up on his keyboard that's why it's fucked up NG I know Well, it's not on this album the song King That's what I should do I should make up a song no one can do it I play

Starting point is 02:03:24 You know cuz it's on my other computer, but I'll play you and and then you'll hear me shred there You know August sure and it's me fucking that was oh, yeah, I Can hysterical I've been on stage since I was fucking fucking five Six yeah, that's not the brag you think it is having a recital when you're five doesn't mean you're a good guitarist At any point in your life idiot. Why does he think that that's a flex? I?

Starting point is 02:03:55 Was in a school play neat Something else I use a requirement my elementary school school that if you're in fifth grade you gotta get up there and do something. I was the best recorder player, better than David Tell. He thinks he's so good with playing two recorders at once. Have you seen David Tell's new comedy special yet? It ends very bizarrely. Every person, he taped recorders on everyone's chair, underneath everyone's chair. So everyone in the crowd has a recorder and he teaches them songs. Oh

Starting point is 02:04:31 Did not the best joke writer of his generation I was like weird way that this special gimmicky, I would have gone with the side whistle personally I Think that's the more comedic instrument. Yeah What do I know? All right, Doug, I've kept you here a long time. It's time to reward you. We got to catch an alien together. My friend, are you ready? I'm terrible at these games. I even play them on my own for fun. That's all right. Listen to the show. I'm awful. I'm turning that around today. We've only got three players against card if we have to concentrate Yeah, we need you we need you to help us out with this one. Yeah back to guitar gate for a sec

Starting point is 02:05:10 Yes, let's talk about that card of what's your take on guitar gate lead guitar gate a fan sent me the the notes from John's second album mmm and nowhere on the album is he listed as a Guitar player what so that prune I think that proves either Nowhere on the album is he listed as a guitar player. What? So that proves, I think that proves either he did play the leads on the first album, pick and it was so bad they didn't let him near a guitar for the second album. Or he's not a guitar player at all.

Starting point is 02:05:38 He's just humble and didn't want the credit. Now I gotta look up and see if he's listed as the guitarist on this. But he does always make it clear Go to my first album Says my first notice there my leads Well because he had the big budget for that one The big studio. Yeah, it just says John Molda's guitar and vocals

Starting point is 02:06:00 This is a question mark for some reason. That's the first album. Yeah, this is the this is the first album, right? No, I don't think so. Oh, yeah. I'll talk my way out of it. Oh it is Yeah, it also has your favorite gypsy morning The side the card can play on guitar Such a bad rep to it so bad. All right. It's time for everyone's favorite game show to catch an alien Are you ready to play?

Starting point is 02:06:34 to catch an alien Okay, I don't think we want and I was said that we did well you guys weren't alive Well, let me let me tell you why I was alive Let me tell you why let me tell you why let me tell you why China has never been to the moon. They're planning to go to the moon for the first time in 2030 China Why would it take China till 2030 to go to the moon? Why haven't we been back there a second time? Why hasn't anyone else been to the moon. Why haven't we been back there a second time? Why hasn't anyone else been to the moon?

Starting point is 02:07:07 Anybody got any answers? Well, I could tell you that today as a matter of fact, Japan landed on the moon Oh fuck. That's a fact. Okay. I just got destroyed Okay, but you think we why do you think we did because I don't think we did I do I wasn't alive when it happened I heard it. I saw I don't think we did. I do. But I wasn't alive when it happened. I was alive. I heard it. I saw it. I don't know how they would create such an effect in 1969. Stanley Kubrick.

Starting point is 02:07:32 Yeah, there's a whole thing. The China thing got me. Because I said, if China is only planning to go there in 2030, and you're trying to tell me that our dumbasses went there and when Why haven't we been back then They say they you know they We didn't have to go back again because we've been there. What the fuck we want to go further than the moon. Oh We'll build a program to go further than the moon. Oh We'll build a program to go further than the moon to Mars when you want to lift off from the moon then to go to Mars

Starting point is 02:08:21 What it might be like up there as if I know Yeah, you know a lot of like I said you start pulling at those strings and there's a lot of questions like, you know that the original film was deleted. They recorded over the film of the moon landing. So everything that we have is not an original, it's a copy. So you can't do the forensics on a copy of something, but you could do the forensics on the original. But NASA- But they did that to did that what did Tommy say next here are your choices number one to Photoshop some stuff out B to preserve the original next to hide technology from Russia

Starting point is 02:09:08 For to better the quality and Lastly to start the conspiracy to catch an Alien Wow, this is a tough one. I always go first. I want it to be number one Photoshop some stuff So that's what I'm gonna say. What do you think Doug? I'm gonna go with hide tech from Russia Yep, that's pretty good one to producer Chris Better the quality sounds kind of stupid These are really stupid starting conspiracies free to want to for them. Yeah, that's true

Starting point is 02:09:49 There's something but you could do the forensics on the original but NASA did that to better the quality Recording over it no they recorded over it like No, they recorded over it like, hey, we're filming over it. So cheap. Better than quality. Yeah. HD. No, it's all digital.

Starting point is 02:10:10 But when they had finite space on film, NASA decided that it was worth recording over that. Like, my mom didn't even record over, like, our Christmas videos from when I was three. Like, how is NASA not able to afford that? So NASA doesn't have the original film? It and I've seen NASA officials yeah that's all for this time come back next time to find out if you have the fake moon landing skills enough like Japan America to catch an alien sit Eugene sit good dog

Starting point is 02:10:50 It's like you know, we're dealing with anti-gravity and I'm thinking what it might be like up there as if I know Well done card if well done producer Chris Almost got you. Congratulations on that. I like that no one called him out when he goes, well then how come we never went back to the moment? It's like, well they did a bunch of times. I believe everyone around Tommy has to pick their battles constantly. He's like, oh well.

Starting point is 02:11:16 Honestly, I don't know if he went to the moment. We'll talk about it on the way home. I don't know what the deal is. It does seem really weird that they can't figure it out anymore. But I was loved, like he was like, I don't know. I wasn't born yet. Yeah. Yeah. What? Who knows if I wasn't there? I wasn't born before the Beatles, but I know a lot about them.

Starting point is 02:11:34 Whatever. What are you going to do? All right, Doug, thank you so much for coming on the show today. People should check out good times. Great movies. You guys are still doing it. We're still doing it. We're still doing it nine years in still amazing Oh, I love it. We are we are in ape rule right now. It's all monkey movies Monkey shines so is called on media There's a secret Dom DeLuis movie called Going Bananas with the kid from Over the Top.

Starting point is 02:12:05 I remember that one. There's a movie called Link where a monkey watches Elizabeth Shue take a bath, which is incredible. I don't remember. Yeah, so check it out wherever you get podcasts. Sounds fascinating. I'm always fascinated. How many episodes are you up to now?

Starting point is 02:12:20 We only do it every other week. We set manageable goals and we never missed one. We're coming up on 250 260 something like that. I mean don't act like that's a small number. That's amazing There's so many freaking 80s movies. They made a lot of movies back then I know and people people are constantly like oh, so you did Ghostbusters now you did Goonies now gremlins now Why are we talking about those so we could talk about going bananas? Yeah, good point Yeah, we all know we all know everyone's taking goodies and grab ones. Yeah, exactly. That's great Well, thank you so much for for coming on the show and it's always a pleasure

Starting point is 02:12:58 Cardiff of course is here to promote hack a mania comm promo code w ATP 20% off your tickets come see us in, May 31st through June 2nd. My buddy Drew sent me a note, he goes, you know, Carl, what you should do is promote other things that are happening in Vegas to entice people to come. So there's- Strippers.

Starting point is 02:13:16 Strippers, there's poker. There's sports books. You wanna watch sporting events and bet on them? And there's drugs and alcohol Yeah, there's a lot of around on the streets and drink you can and they I believe they have the world's biggest Marijuana dispensary in Las Vegas. I saw a special about it and you're talking about go to the punk rock museum Can we do both how much time can you spend in a giant dispenser? I know half hours too much. Oh, that's real purple We get it

Starting point is 02:13:53 You really want to appeal to your audience Carl talk about the giant M&M story. Mmm. Oh, yeah, that's what people are into WTP Guys George's again next time it might be the episode we find out once and for all who are these podcasts sleep well everypony Great show good job everybody great job everyone Let's check out some voicemails that have been coming in. Oh, we got a net news first. Let's check out the net From Facebook Q Bonti's Mac and tire opines I do not understand how mukbangs are popular seems like the type of thing where you've seen it once you never need to see It again Travis Wilson takes it further

Starting point is 02:14:41 They're the worst videos on the internet including including the dark web. Patrick Gleason, literally the worst noise humans make, disgusting. Shane Earl gripes. Is it possible to have Lucy dubbed over? Her voice is like vocal fry concentrate. Terrible. Go fuck yourself. Rajvir Sahota makes a strong argument.

Starting point is 02:14:59 Are you seriously complaining about Lucy's voice when Andy's there? Benjamin F. Cohen riffs. She can do accents. Ask for the mid-Atlantic. Get on it, Mikey D. weighs in on the Elisa Jordana saga. Well, shame on this dude forever thinking he was going to nail this.

Starting point is 02:15:14 She's been very public about her dislike of sex. What the fuck else would she possibly be good for? From Reddit, fixit403 writes, why would you pay $200,000 to get into a relationship with an asexual woman? I'm not fucking her as we speak, and it isn't costing me a dime. Hot Education has this take. She uses the asexual line to deter any guy she doesn't want to fuck. 100% on her spare time she's getting air-tighted by three tyrones.

Starting point is 02:15:40 There's plenty of women just like her. She's not unique in the slightest. Chief Big Poo posts about the dark side Phil rabbit hole. I usually hear you on Drew and Mike, but I'm so happy to see the level one podcast finally made it. It used to be him rambling and begging for an hour, and then he decided to just call it a podcast. DSP to me is like stuttering John. He has quite the rabbit hole to fall down. He's just an overall shit human being. From YouTube, BKim412 shares, DSP is propped up by like five people who donate to this clown. He quits games if they don't bring in enough donations.

Starting point is 02:16:12 He's literally Stut Joe without the 15 minutes of fame. RidiculousMan3, been following this piece of dumb shit since 2015. He's the gift that keeps on giving. A real keyboard warrior too. You should watch his side-scrollers interview. It's a fucking masterpiece. XMiden?

Starting point is 02:16:29 Carl reviewing DSP? My worlds have collided. Swickful offers? He's also been eating off paper plates for years for every meal because he's a mature adult and doesn't have time to wash up in between streams. Fred reports? He gave away empty game boxes for his holiday gaming giveaway. Mario Faker warns, congratulations you've entered the snore tax. And from Twitter who are these podcast shares? RIP OJ. 2000 yards in 1973?

Starting point is 02:16:57 The man could not be stopped. Eric Zane is outraged. He killed two people you filthy animal. A queef in the night wonders. You ever kill your wife and boyfriend shit way off. So Manela chimes in. The two people he killed could not outrun him and West and Mark plays us out with. They say he was surrounded by family when he died. They released an official statement. We didn't do it. Very good. I have to say Darkside Phil was a lot to try to capture in a review segment.

Starting point is 02:17:32 And I saw a lot of people were actually pretty positive about our review of it. You know, there's a few things we missed and some lore that we didn't get to, but we'll just have to check in again. We might have to check in again I think there's a lot there I think there's a lot to talk about with dark side film the problem with guys like him and King Cobra JFS that we cover on w ATS is that these guys spend eight hours ten hours a day on the internet and then there's 20 minutes a month That's really interesting that you and I just who has the fucking time for that shit

Starting point is 02:18:06 Not interesting like Alisa Jordana body cam footage. Oh is that it's been it's out is that out? Yeah, you know what I think I saw VTL posted right she was trying to was she trying to trade sexual favors with the police officer It's not get arrested No, she was hanging out with some homeless guys when the cops came around. Oh, I saw something else then All right, I'll check it out that thank you very much Hey rumor out here on the left coast and saw it on the internet saying dr. Steve attended key bitties Freak-offs regularly. I doubt that's true.

Starting point is 02:18:48 I'll have to ask him. Do you think Dr. T would be up front with us if he was part of these Diddy freak-offs? I think he would be. Damn it, what didn't Diddy do? I think he'd be bragging about it probably. This is a fun idea for a show. And burger.

Starting point is 02:19:09 Hey Carl, just listen to that little mini bonus you put out there. And if you're ever doing a win a date with Janessa or whatever the fuck your name is, let me know. I want to be on that. Thanks. Bye. You mean Alisa who I think he feeds at least a Jordan. He wants to win a date. Watch what you say.

Starting point is 02:19:23 Mind your peas and cues around her. She will smash you at the phase. Hey Carl, when you were talking about dark side, Phil, today you said there was a guy who was influenced by him. He started his own YouTube channel where he plays games like real shit. Lee, do you have to know the name of it? Is it is the channel perhaps? Let's get it out if it is that guy is fucking Hilarious he tries to find exploits and games and basically plays games as long as you can And it's commentary is pretty fucking hilarious. You should check it out sometimes for some laughs

Starting point is 02:20:03 Very good, but I was just wondering if that was the one what the show see you No, I don't think it was that one The one that I was talking about was this is how you don't play and it's on the evil AJ 2010 channel these videos are a little old now, but They've gotten a lot of views people seem to enjoy them quite a bit Hey, Carl. This is Kevin your old podcast mate, and this is how I talk Hey, buddy. Listen me and the fellas have been talking we've considered doing our own podcast That answers the age-old question of who are these podcasts?

Starting point is 02:20:41 What and we're calling it These are the podcasts it's gonna be me that Joe Tom Myers Oh and a lot of other of our friends so check this out I don't like that over there also the whole time I'm just waiting for Cobra Commander, so kind of a let down. Yeah, you're right. If Kevin's gonna call into the show, I demand... Oh my God, it's going down! Or at least a good fop.

Starting point is 02:21:19 Yes, the fop. Or the chacaroni pizza bit. I love that. I still think about that. For a pizza, I've heard chacaroni. Quick plug for my buddy blind Mike on the episode of the blind mic project that will be live on YouTube at 10 a.m Sunday morning. He interviews Tom Myers and He asked Tom some tough questions. I got to give him credit for that. And he lets Tom know why they goof on him and why we goof on him and stuff. But what's crazy about

Starting point is 02:21:52 this interview, multiple times he asked Tom to come on, who are these podcasts? I'm like, I don't want Tom Myers on who are these. I'll play the Tom Myers I want on who are these podcasts. I don't want him on my show like that's a Style show that we do you don't book our show buddy. What are you doing? This is very I thought you were gonna say the craziest thing is when Tom Meyers told a very lengthy story about how he was drunk Driving in his parked car once That would be great Tom they asked Tom Meyers about the bong hit transplant joke And he says he's retired.

Starting point is 02:22:25 He doesn't do anymore. They're like, that should be your closer. Oh, yeah. Right. That should be like, I know that Dice is like to do nursery rhymes anymore, but it's like you got to get the people what they want at the end. Yeah. Just get it out of the way somewhere. Yeah. But Tom goes, I wrote that joke back when I was still drinking. I haven't had a drop of alcohol since 2011.

Starting point is 02:22:43 I'm not a 20 year old fret guy anymore like the joke wasn't funny whether you're drunk but I'm not surprised it's a good interview check it out yeah what's up Carl this is Paco I just want to let you know dude I just ordered a shirt well I ordered a few days ago from W a T P or who are these guys? You know, um, and also I got a couple of stickers. I got the stickers in, but I didn't get the shirt yet. Hurry up and send that shit. I'm getting a little pissed off waiting anyways. Thanks man. You know, I know you're always holding it down and shit, you know, fuck it. I said, I want to send a special shout out to Kroger, man. I missed that motherfucker.

Starting point is 02:23:24 I later. All right. Thank you for buying merchandise. Who are these. to send a special shout out to Kroger man. I missed that motherfucker. I later. All right Thank you for buying merchandise who are these calm? There's a link to our merch store You too could be walking around in a very fashionable t-shirt Put some stickers on some random bumpers There's still a card of sticker on my bumper of my car Wasn't me no, I don't listen you I saw the video we love to get some money taco and our audio engineer decided to go out there and shove a sticker on my car OJ calling into the show. I guess this is just before he passed probably

Starting point is 02:24:00 Well, hello, Carl. This is OJ. Hello, OJ Well, hello, Carl. This is OJ. Hello, OJ. It's Wednesday here in Vegas. And I was wondering, I saw your show was going to be out here. If I could get in the contest to date Lucy Typebox. Give me a call back, Carl. It's your boy OJ. Well, OJ, only if you're not the jealous type. Because, you know, Lucy doesn't like to commit to just one guy, so hopefully that, only if you're not the jealous type

Starting point is 02:24:29 Lucy doesn't like to commit to just one guy so hopefully that's okay with you That's suck. I'm going out to Vegas and oh, they won't be there. No. I know yeah Here either Well a good point Look out no look out on that. I can't believe it. I know how do we die that at the board? It's funny all the all the the song the OJ songs We know and love from the Stern show and from Opie and Anthony Every surface this week and it's funny watching it on Twitter them getting credited to very different sources. Oh really? Yeah Yeah, I saw accrediting Stern with Anthony's and I was gonna say I saw anthony, um talk about oj and

Starting point is 02:25:08 I forget OJ is the reason why anthony became anthony from opi and anthony He wrote a song About oj simpson getting the electric chair before back whenever we all thought he was definitely gonna be found guilty and uh opi loved it and they brought him in to play it live. And then he stuck. So he owes his career to the juice. Let's separate 1973 with 2000 years. This is Califatart. You think you can do what Celia does? You mean just sit there and babble and they get noises and words like that

Starting point is 02:25:42 comedic genius? I don't believe you. And if you don't do a bonus episode or an emergency episode proving that you can do that then I'm gonna call bullshit Also, if you don't do it, you're gay. So you don't want Jen knowing that do you? I'm gonna go ahead and pass on that. I'd rather suck a dick than try to do his show like crystal. Yeah The worst I can't delve cow photographers being serious or not right there. He's not a pretty serious Yeah, he sounds like he's a Chris. Yeah a fan for some reason or he wants you to suck a dick No chompers at this point Succo he should be demoted to just cringe of the week cringe of the week

Starting point is 02:26:24 Okay, I could play the that jingle before we talk about it. John, that'll make it better. Appreciate the feedback. Hey Carl, Gary from San Diego. Hey Gary. Well, have you noticed for the last couple weeks, John's been exercising, walking, doing a lot of, I think, pushups.

Starting point is 02:26:44 Then he said, of course course he took a stress test Thursday for his heart perfect results yeah so in order to celebrate great Vince the lawyer sent him a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken he said he ate the whole thing that makes a lot of sense after passing your stress test he had a whole bucket of Kentucky fried chicken. Anyway, rock and roll. Yeah, it's almost like his good buddy Vince. Actually, he didn't list Vince in the names when he was talking about all his friends. Oh yeah. Interesting. It's almost like his good buddy Vince doesn't really like him very much. I mean, to be fair, and I am not defending John here, but when I go

Starting point is 02:27:26 Yearly and I get my blood taken and everything like that when those tests come back clear I get hammered that night Do this is a first for WTP call of Duty the video game called into the show. Hey, Carl, this is the video game franchise Call of Duty. Just wanted to call and tell you that Darkseid Phil is trash at this game. He sucks. He camps out. He tries to get the easy kills. He definitely uses game G to get ahead in life and in video games. He's a loser and we do not like him on this platform. So Call of Duty out. Take shit at work, bye.

Starting point is 02:28:16 Thank you for your call. Yeah. Do you say take shit at work at the end there? I think so. Someone posted a song in our subreddit and someone emailed it to me too. That's actually very funny. Maybe I'll play it on the show one of these days.

Starting point is 02:28:28 It's all about taking shifts at work. It's not bad. All right, last call. Good morning, it's Paul in dirty jersey. Who are these marketers? WATM, only on the Carlisle network. BK's got new chicken wraps, but no one BK they might taste like crap. BK always tastes like shit.

Starting point is 02:28:50 We're the Mexican cooking it. It's BK. The marketing department is gay. Carl. Thank you. Fuck you. Bye. It's calling stuff gay making a comeback.

Starting point is 02:29:02 I don't think it ever left on this show. Yeah, well, that's true now this show, but we don't do that in June or July Obviously not during pride months. No What do you call them then Sexy alright guys. Thank you so much for being on the show. This is a lot of fun today and I'll talk to you again very soon Doug Yeah, when you're when you have more time and your internet works better. No no no this was great for you to pull all the clips And I don't have to do anything. We can just keep this up. It worked out quite well. I'll come back every week All right, see you guys. It was a lot of fun. Good to see you buddy

Starting point is 02:30:08 Alright, see you guys. Appreciate it. I rewatch i Carly. The i rewatch i Carly girls. They watch that quiet on set. They had some spicy takes so maybe maybe you should revisit that I That was a great episode those two that's that's insane Jokes No, I love that ending like that's Amazing I love those girls who roll their Rs. Card if you ruin it every time it really does something to me I had no idea I was into that but I really dig it the Spanish girls, uh, I

Starting point is 02:30:48 Will burn they do those two stone chicks. Yeah Jesus I gotta go. This is getting stupid. Bye guys

Who Are These Podcasts? - Ep509 - Brilliant Idiots

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