Who Are These Podcasts? - Ep527 - 108.9 The Hawk

Episode Date: June 16, 2024

108.9 The Hawk is a failing fictional classic rock radio station in the fictional city of Val Verde. Well, the failing part isn’t fictional. A couple of seasoned improv guys demonstrate how hard improv is for some people. They’re pretending to be cheesy radio DJs and are somehow less funny and more corny than actual radio DJs. Pat Oates joins the show and quickly realizes that he works with the exact people these guys are trying to clown. After some very lame commercial parodies, we check in on Tom Myers who finally wrote some jokes for Trump’s conviction. Well kinda. Then we check in on Chrissie Mayr’s show as her, Keanu, and Missy B. all give their honest assessment of Aaron Imholte. Turns out Aaron is a doofus and comes off like a douche when he’s trying to be a tough guy. Then Cardiff joins as we watch Anthony Cumia summon the pests to go after Stuttering John for threatening Dr. Steve. Scorch is putting out some of the worst content ever while also declaring victory over Opie and Anthony. And wait until you hear how he explains the hot mic incident. Kindy is back for a round of “To Catch An Alien,” Internet News, and your voicemails. Tickets are on sale for DabbleCon 2 on August 16th and 17th – http://watplive.com/ https://www.youtube.com/@POSMornings  Support us, get bonus episodes, and watch live every Saturday and Wednesday: http://bit.ly/watp-patreon https://watp.supercast.tech/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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The reviews have been slowly trickling in lately. So get on there, give us a review so the review girls can read insults about me today. We'll be reviewing a show called 108.9 the hawk. This is a suggestion from Joe Spasto. We have, oh, it wasn't separately, not discussed it, which is beforehand. Let's get into it. It's a show hosted by Jason Gore and Jeff Garlock, and it's described as the world's greatest comedy podcast about classic rock radio. Some of it is prepared bits, pre-recorded bits, but most of it is improv in Classic Rock DJ radio voices, which really is a coin toss. That could have been what the format of this show would have been because I grew up on Classic Rock Radio. I listened to it all day, every day.

Yeah. You couldn't really get away from it. Right. Not in this town. So I'm very familiar with what they're trying to do, which is why I was like, okay, I'll give this a chance. I like classic rock radio. And it's very easy to clown all the sounders and all the nonsense that's going on. Yes. So I figured out, let's check out what these guys are up to. So I want to start off with their most recent episode. And this is how the show starts off is a show that they call the Jeff and Wisp show because it features Jeff the angry man garlock and Wisp Turlington basically these two guys and if you go to their website the credits are

ridiculous but they don't really say what they do they've just been on adult swim and they've been involved in this thing and that thing and all these TV credits and all this shit you're like, but what did you do though? Right? What part of it we watched them all? Yeah, I've never seen you guys before So are you familiar with these guys at all Pat? I am after you sent me a link and I wish you didn't okay So this is how you were introduced to them as well. That's that's what I figured Let's let's get right into it so we can find out what we're talking about here here on one Oh eight point nine, the Hawk.

All hawk! All rock! What does that mean? Oh, that means you're getting the classic rock. That means you're getting the new classic rock. Uh-huh. And everyone swell? The new new classic. The new new. And sometimes maybe the new new new classic rock. You never know. It's something we're getting used to here on the Jeff and Wisp show, since we've been brought here into the Poseid new classic rock. You never know. It's something we're getting used to here

on the Jeff and Wisp show, since we've been brought here into the Poseidon radio building. I mean, at this point, if we all of a sudden were playing doo-wop or big band music, I don't, I don't, I wouldn't, I would just be like, whatever. We are told Jason Gore is our program director.

He tells us what to do. He tells us what to wear. He's like, Wisp, sweater, today. And I'm like, okay, I'll do it. I will say Jason did used to love the cherry poppin daddy. So I'm hoping God got any moment he was the head of the fan club, the popper. He loves the poppers. Yeah, not even they could have called it the daddy's. Could have. It was either way. It's a creepy name no matter what.

Guys, too many jokes. He's into it here. Holy shit. Getting bombarded with hilarity over here. It hurts. It's insane. This is how the show starts where they're just like, we're Classic Rock. You know what that means?

We play Classic Rock and New Classic Rock. And this guy, Jeff, he sucks. The guy on the right with the afro. The tag master. The tag master. Or new, new Classic Rock. Thanks for that. And he had

have very poor improv skil and things and their cred And I thought one of the about improv notice how l Oates is not talking beca see how that's like nice understand the conversatio the other person who's talking. Yeah, I think the morning zoo taught them to talk over each other and make it messy. I've said it before. I'll say it again. Brother Weez, big show in Rochester. I wasn't a fan of

it, but I went on the show a couple of times. The first thing I noticed, the first time I went on the show was a big sign that says one person talk at a time. Very important element to radio but these guys they have too many jokes they got to get out so you mentioned obviously cherry poppin daddies. Oh yeah right. So then they go off on a whole thing like oh let's talk about other swing bands and let's try to improv on that. I'm a big fan of this squirrelirrel Nuts zippers. Oh my god. So we can hear that hell song at any point. I got the one that you're like, it's kinda like Swing, but...

It's kinda. Stupider. Stupider. Stupider was how they described it. It was under the Stupider category. Yes. 703 on 108.9. The Squirrel Nuts zippers were kinda like Swing, but stupider.

Hmm. Pretty good stuff. 9.9 the scroll nut zippers were kind of like swing but stupider hmm Pretty good stuff think fatter Iraq and trans Al Franken in the morning It's a weepin problem. I was gonna say looking funny does not make you funny No, definitely not and I think that they didn't mean for this to be a video cast like myself and everyone else We kind of had to start doing video because that's what people are doing They're watching video because I don't think these two should be seen. Right? I mean, obviously they're doing or they're emulating a radio show and the way they crack each other up. You're going to see multiple examples. If you're listening to the show, and you

don't hear it, don't worry, I'll point it out every time it happens because it's fucking ridiculous. So let me read you the description of this show. Now we've heard a couple of clips here. That's how they started the show off. Not having any clue what they were going to do or say, but this got went right into it. It says 108.9. The Hawk is an improvised podcast about a failing fictional classic rock radio station in the fictional city of Val Verde.

Each week it's hosts, Wisp Turlington, Jason Gore and Jeff the Anger Man Garlic and their guests try to bring the station back to its former glory to no avail. With a cast of characters including Art Spart, Greg Levensauer, Mickey Mac Mac, Bobby Dalton, Big Truck, Jeff and Melinda Tilt, and many, many, many more. 108.9 The Hawk won't stop until they're, once again, the number one classic rock radio station in Val Verde, and better yet, the world. Sounds like a school project.

Yeah. Right? All right, what's the premise for your project? Let's see if we can get approval. They've read that, they're like, all right. You and your friends can go play. They stole Comedy Bang Bang. I don't know if you know Comedy Bang Bang, but they just stole that.

But Comedy Bang bang is improv people pretending to be a podcast radio show. They're just shitty guys who aren't improv or radio. They probably know the comedy bang bang guys. I think they run similar crowds, I would imagine because the least the one guy here I know is LA based. And ear wolf shit. Yeah, that's what it is. Right. Okay, so they started off by talking about this TV show called Bad Medicine. You watched Bad Medicine last night? And Jeff, who's amazing off the top of his head, you know, when he's on his feet, he's ready to go. He goes, not only did I watch it last night, I DVR'd it and I watched it again. Good stuff. So they're pretending there's this TV show called Bad Medicine they love and they can't stop watching. It's been out for for like 17 or 18 seasons and this is their improv on that. Oh but bad medicine of course the Bon

Jovi theme show where John Bon Jovi does actually play the doctor Jonathan Bonothan Jovi. Of course. And he is he's given everyone it's like we said before it's like a Sweeney Todd situation. He's giving everyone medicine he makes. I mean, are they ever gonna figure it out? That's the interesting part. They figured it out in the first season. They've had 17 years to figure it out. And right away everyone's like,

I think you gave us bad medicine, but the town just keeps taking it. Oh my God. The guy's voice, holy shit. That's the problem? Not what he's saying, it's his voice. it's hard to get past that it's like Casey Kasem and Andy Richter yeah no Chris I agree cuz it's it's it's not our sense of humor but it is someone's sense of humor this goofy shitty premise of a

thing that you're beating down like a bad Saturday night live but that voice ruins any chance to laugh at it right so someone thinks that Jonathan Bonathan Jovi is a good joke. Is that what you're telling me? Pat? Yeah. Like the same people that watch Saturday live right now. Okay. Cause it's funny when I'm listening to this, it sounds like I'm in a writer's

pitch meeting with nothing but bad comedy writers. Well, what if we had a thing where there's a show called bad medicine and John about Jovi stars is the guy who's making the bad medicine because you know he wrote that song yeah No, we get it so Tom Myers is there Oh, yeah, that's actually a funny idea We should do but we they can't be in on the joke right we just call it comedy pitch meeting And it's like guess what you've been invited to a very special edition of comedy pitch meeting. Tom Meyers like finally, finally getting my, my do here. Yep.

You're on with Joe. Stink tank instead of think tank. Producer Chris is running this down. This is too good of an idea. So Tom Meyers shows up and he's staring at a Joey C and Ray DeVito. He's like, wait a second. I was telling him it's a trap. I told him there'd be comedy writers here. What's going on? All right. So now they're going to promote, cause you heard the description. I just said, this is a radio station that used to be big and now it's not. So they're trying to bring it back. And one of the ways to do that is to promote the other shows that are out of different

time slots, different day parts, if you will, on the radio station. We're supposed to talk about all of our shows. We've got Kenner and Jenner, those assholes in the afternoon. I hate them. I hate them. They're part of it. They're part of it. But you know what?

They've got monthly crew. Funny stuff already, right? Those assholes. I hate that show Okay, I don't think your PD is gonna appreciate that you're probably talking to but I hope they do get fired You've been replaced All right, so this is so bad what you're about to see let me just set it up so we saying they're gonna have motley crew on and Who's the guitarist now Johnny five is their guitars because McMar's couldn't tour with them sure okay? So they talk about getting McMar's to be on their show for an interview and this chef guy does a McMar's impression

I mean close your eyes You won't even know But the worst part is the other asshole decides. Oh, let's turn this into a bet check this out This afternoon with john five And uh a secret I called mcmars My good best friend in the whole world is it mcmars? Kenner and jenner want want you on the show today Just can I take a guess of how he answered?

Okay Jenner want want you on the show today. Just take a guess of how he answered. OK, no, no, no. Hello, with purely didn't. You know, I mean, what's going on? Do you like that? The bit he goes, whoa, I know I got I got this. That impression is great. How about let's recreate the phone call. I want some of this action.

You have the punchline first. Yeah, I'll be right. Right. Holy shit. That's great. What happens next is they do these things where they play these commercials, these fake commercials for fake businesses.

They're all on Hog Street, which is hilarious. I would say. And this is a place called 99 mattress store. And I guess what they're saying is the premise here and listen closely because there's a bunch of bits that are following up on this. In fact, this entire episode becomes this. But the premise here is that this is an old timey radio commercial that everyone remembers like

Mikey likes it or any of those commercials from the old times that we all can recite still to this day. And so that's the problem. They're going to, they're going to replay this old commercial and then bring on the guy who's the son in this commercial, the little kid in this commercial. Okay. So that's an important thing to know. And here's the commercial. You'll remember it immediately. Boy, oh boy, oh boy,

oh boy. Do we have the mattress deals at 99 mattress store where my name is not Jeff 90. But dad, that's your name. Shut up son. Yes. 99 is running a special beyond any special. Any mattress store in Val Verde has ever thought of running. Hey, Dad, watch this. Son, get off the mattress. Why? Then make sure you don't let my son on the mattress. Dad, no. Because he's going to ruin it like he ruins everything.

Just give me a chance. And you can give us a chance. In 99 Mattress Store. 99 Mattress Store. 89-43-12 Hog Street, Val Verde. Blah, blah, blah. Right off of Mattress. Blah, blah, blah. We don't need to blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah that they're replaying for nostalgic purposes. And now Chet Knightley, the son who wants to jump on the mattresses is their guest on the show.

And we know that young voice, but not so young anymore. Ladies and gentlemen, Chet Knightley. Hey guys. It's me, Chet Knightley. Good to be here on the hawk. My dad loved this station. Oh, I loved him. Always, always loved it when our ads would pop up. It'd always crank the radio so, you know, we could hear it in the house or the car. And yeah, just great to be with you guys to honor my dad. Wow, he had nothing. You'd think he'd have, at least Jeff Heisen on Tom Myers I always pointed out, at least his thought of something to say.

It's not great, but he's thought of something that he's going to say once he comes out and starts talking They're like and here he is. He's just like hey guys. Yeah, I'm chat. I remember the thing. He just played Good Mythical Morning No, oh wait YouTube thing is a morning show thing. This guy's on Good Mythical Morning. He's their crazy character guy Oh, my kids watch it sometimes. So he's known for being the wacky sketch guide and yells edgy, wacky things. And it's never really that funny because it's a really woke show.

And that's another show you guys should do sometime. Good Mythical Morning, their whole channel is like food things and weird props and innuendos and shit. But this guy's on there. And I saw it was like, Oh fuck, it's that guy. All right, good. Cause I want to see more of this asshole because he's terrible at this. So he comes on. He's got nothing, nothing to bring to this. So now Chet Knightley is just going to repeat the same thing

that Wisps says because he has no chops for improv whatsoever. Because my God, we play that commercial. I can't tell you how many times I have said or even quoted Line in like a store Mattress mattress or we get it. Yeah. No, no, I mean obviously the the commercials were classics Oh, yeah, people still yell just give me a chance at me That's gotta feel good. Just walking down the street and people yelling at you on the street or maybe There's just no flow to it

Obviously nothing funny the guy yells the thing that he said in the commercial and then it comes back to him He's just like yeah like People say that thing to me. Okay. No, that's what I that guy just said come up with something different to say tell me They aren't giving them a chance to be the character anyway, they're just cramming their shit at him, but he's not bringing anything Alright, so now he comes up with something. I guess his dad died. He's gonna explain to us what happened with his dad dying. And normally, you know, it's Father's Day tomorrow. Normally, I would say your dad dying would be a thing that's not fun and funny. But these guys find a way to make it hilarious.

Oh, my dad perished earlier this year in a tragic box spring accident. And he was going in the history. He was a real G, you know, just bounced a little too high on a particularly bouncy box spring and hit a ceiling fan that was going really, really fast. Oh my, it was a real Twilight Zone situation. Twilight Zone the movie. It was, and I did see you stifling laughter and it is kind of a funny death when you hear it described. When you get to describe it and you picture it, I mean, I think you said Twilight Zone, Stifling laughter and it is kind of a funny death right here. It's right When you get to describe you picture it, I mean, I think you said twilight zone I pictured Burgess Meredith getting his head chopped off

So an old man was bouncing on a box string spring that was too bouncy and hit a ceiling fan I Did follow up questions these guys like? That's crazy. I'd be like why was he jumping on a box? I mean, I know he sells mattresses I get that owns the mattress door, but what was he doing I? Know I used to while do a fake radio thing on the tape recorder when I was about sure ten And I wouldn't have touched that honestly. Yeah, that's pretty bad. Yeah, I would come up with something more violent I do like that he called them out for laughing because like I think he was trying to put these like all right You guys already put me in this shit spot. So you improv go ahead

Go ahead, and he sat back and he's like, all right, dude, you dumb shit Yeah, I'm talking about my dad dying, but you guys can't stop from breaking. So you guys go then I know this guy's so bad at this not only is he talking over everyone adds nothing I'm talking about the guy in the upper right, Jeff here, adds nothing and it talks over people, but also breaks nonstop. Like can't stop giggling and laughing. It's not a good look. You need to be the straight man on this. But if he is mocking, cause I've been on a bunch of morning radio and working at a radio station,

a lot of the sidekick, the goofy funny guy does this. And if he's, I can't believe he's this good, but he's either doing this on purpose to be that shithead character or he just sucks at this, but he might be the greatest actor of all times. Okay. Like Daniel Day-Lewis. Yeah. Now I understand what you're saying. You're right. He is a method actor here. He can't turn it off. He's so good at it. Right. All right. Now, apparently, so this is Chet nightie, who was the kid in the commercial. I've explained this a couple of times. I think I'm rehashing Aaron Immel. He's the kid from the commercial. Now,

he's a grown adult. But I know that unfortunately, Wisp Turlington doesn't because he fucks up the name and then they try to save it and it's just more awkward nonsense. He was the best. He was somebody that you could go to when you're like, hey, chat. No, and I wouldn't say chat. Sorry. No, I would say, hey, Jeff. That'd be rude. That would be rude because I would be speaking to a child and trying to get a deal. Also, Chad might've been on ayahuasca when you go to a firm, talk to him. So he might not even pick up on it. I did go in. I went in the nighty night mattress store down there on hog street

And I was so fucked up on opium and I'm just like that Jeff. I want a race car bad That's my opium voice. I mean zero chops for this. It's incredible how bad this is They can't recover from anything. Yeah, the reason why I got a name rise about opium. That's my opium voice. Get it? Yeah. And for, I don't even know if this was prepared. Any of this was, but just do another take. They only have the one hour. Time's up guys. We just kind of take that. We gotta use that. I guess. Yeah. Can I have a bit of. Time's up, street drug that everyone's doing these days. You know, I realize it makes other things, but opium is popular like, you know, the 1900s.

Take it from me. It's hard to find. Why would you admit that you're on opium? Wouldn't the other guy go, weren't you on opium that day? He's like, dude, shut up because you're a radio guy. It doesn't want the world to know you're on opium. Right. And also when I am on opium from time to time, the last thing I think about doing is shopping for furniture. Yeah. You know, a race car bed. Right. All right.

It doesn't make any fucking sense. So then when you're on opium, you have a better voice than be on opium. Yeah. Right. Please. So now this shit head that you know, from mythical magical morning guys, and link if you know who they are, that's mythical morning. Right. And link guys. Oh, we definitely have covered them. I covered their other show. I knew I heard that before.

Their show is called Good Mythical Morning. That's their channel. They have another show though. They have a podcast that they do that's just the two of them talking. Ear Biscuits. That stinks too. Yes, Ear Biscuits. And we covered them years ago.

And I remember I'm like, this has a huge audience. Why? Well, these guys are talking about not, were so boring they're talking about their mundane lives I was like how are people interested in this but then I found out they had another show that's popular and so they were so you got a whole network of shows and they got a cooking book now they got everything yeah okay popular with virgins across the land I knew I heard that before we should definitely revisit that South Dakota virgins love that like more than anything in the world. That's

a good demographic to go after. Yes. We got a lot of uh exposable cash. Yes. Um alright so I love what happens here because this dummy who comes on who now owns the store because his dad died in the famous box spring incident. He decides he's got some new ideas for this mattress store and And what I like about this, because I can pick up on this, he said that without knowing where he was going with it. And then he starts to panic. Because now you're going to come up with some jokes for this premise that you've

introduced. Let's watch. I just want to do some exciting things with the store and bring it into the new millennium. Okay. Like obviously obviously my dad was super focused on like mattresses and yes you know making money, box springs, yeah making money, doing very well, doing unbelievably well. Positive cash flow. But I think I want to like really expand the business into like just things people are talking about now. Like, you know, prestige TV, TikTok videos about ADHD symptoms. Oh, okay.

Smartwatches. Smartwatches. In a store. So I think it's going for like, isn't this absurd? And of course those guys have to be like, oh yeah, TikTok videos, smartwatches. Oh yeah, this is all good stuff, guy. Killing it for us today. Yeah, but wouldn't it be funnier to be like, Oh yeah, tick tock videos, smartwatches. This is all good stuff guy. Killing it for us today.

Yeah. But wouldn't it be funnier to be like cots? Yeah. Or him like the shitty version of a bed instead of going somewhere crazier. We're just going to do not beds. Yeah. Tick tock videos was not the joke there. I would say. No, it's always just smart watches. Smartwatches. All right. I got it. Let's watch real quick. So I think this is like Jason Gores project He seems to be the the ringleader of all this. Of course, he's playing wisp in this playing Let's let's watch him embarrass himself real quick just like ha ha ha he's like

That's a pool party. You're not invited. So I think one of the elements of improv is you can't have any shame or embarrassment at any time. Right? Is that like one of the rules they teach you just like, listen, you're going to do some things that are ridiculous that if anyone saw you do, they would never stop mocking you.

But you just got to pretend that that's cool and go with it. They must tell people that otherwise, what are they doing? Because I watch these improv guys every time just like, Oh, that's why you're doing that. Yeah, they have no cringe. It's crazy how they're cringeless. Right? It never bothers them to Bob. I like that name cringeless. cringeless. Yeah. With john too much candy over here. name cringeless. cringeless. Yeah. With John too much candy over here.

WTP we bring cringe to the cringeless. Alright, so this is buyer beware. Some hilarious jokes coming in. buyer beware. If you're going to a DJ party in Vegas hosted by a cast member of Jersey Shore, you're maybe going to get ecto cooler into some of your wounds. And that's just simple. So that's an example of Jeff's sense of humor. So you're just like throwing out a bunch of like random DJ party and Jersey Shore and ecto-cooler. I'm hearing Tom Myers. Yeah,

yeah. Oh my gosh, I got some Tom Myers jokes coming up. We're just like, well, how did you get from here to here? Because no one's following this logic is that all crazy things to talk about. Yeah, I guess Don't really connect. So yeah, I guess that's a better kids giggle from the other guys. Yeah Alright, let's get off of this topic of this person. I'm fearing all the comments of why are you guys covering yourselves? It's a you two or those two. I'm this shitty guest who comes in and can't improv good the comments of why are you they'd have some funny things to say. Well, let's find out an example. So now there's a new character coming in who's also played by Wisp and this is Art Spart and he does a traffic report and you can't believe how stupid this is. I can't imagine and it's a longer clip so let me just set it up by

saying this. I can't imagine coming with this concept starting to write it, getting a third of the way through it and going, yeah, this is working. This is one of those ones where you start to write and you're like, okay, this isn't, I just kind of abandon this and try something else. Okay, and now let's do it. Traffic. When we point nine the hawk traffic with art spart. with art spart. Here come the squirrels. Dun-na-na-na. Here come the squirrels. It's all right.

Do-do-do-do-do-do-do. Great song, right? But instead of sun, I put in the word, squirrels. Because downtown Valverde is overrun with them and it is causing quite a bit of traffic headaches. Now I don't know if they escaped from the brand new Squirrel Farm that just opened up on Dave Mustaine Way, or they escaped from the Squirrel Zoo over on Phil Lynott Avenue, or the three Squirrel Museums that have opened up after the original Squirrel Museum over

on Cozy Powell Street decided to franchise, but Val Verde seems to love squirrels and we are paying the price Look, they are cute and those little black eyes stare at you while chewing on a nut and standing on a log It's adorable and I would love to see you seem uncomfortable Chris. Do you want us to go out for another minute? Cuz it does Like you understand the premise of it was like a bunch of squirrels because of all these businesses that have been opening up Yeah, the feature squirrels. I thought it was gonna be less worse than I know! I thought he might talk about traffic Bob Ross paint one or feed one in his pocket

But the other thing I know about squirrels you can't them. You can't keep them trapped and they are wily So when everyone had the same idea in the great squirrel boom of last year to make them into a roadside attraction All art thought to himself. Good luck. I hope I'm not right about this and I was Because now we have thousands of squirrels who have made a great escape and they are everywhere. And how do you stop a squirrel? I have no idea. I can warn you about them but I cannot stop them. What I do know is Mayor David Lee Roth is out there with a pellet gun trying to take care of it himself. So

long story short, stay home until either someone wrestles the gun away from our beloved mayor for all the squirrels die from that cold front we got coming in later today. And that's been traffic on 108.9 the hawk from the Burt's funeral flowers traffic desk. I'm Art Spart. With Burt's funeral flowers. By the way, the look from this guy that Pat out is a fan of yeah during this whole thing Really says it all he looks so fucking bored He's scratching his face like he's a method

So uncomfortable just wants to get out of his skin. It does look like a BG all the time, but yeah Yeah, dude that sucks so fucking bad. I don't know if that guy has ever heard the radio. And he also comes from the OP school of broadcasting where the less funny it is, make sure you amp up the fucking stupid voice. Yeah. Unbearable. And he didn't mention squirrel nut zipper, which he did earlier.

That would make sense. Fucking thing. And he sprinkles weather in at the end. Like, dude, what the fuck are you doing? No, it doesn't make any sense. That's why I set up the way that I did, where he's like, I got an idea. I'll say that there's so many squirrels and the traffic is bad.

But you would get through a third of that and go, this is not funny. This is stupid. Not to be nitpicky with this bullshit, but a traffic report takes less than 30 seconds It's shut. Yeah, it's shut and this show has potentially you could make that funny Someone could not these guys. Yeah, we're not gonna but someone could do it for sure You do 30 cents seconds of traffic with a squirrel joke and you do 30 seconds of the weather was it's raining dogs and squirrels

You're fucking off the thing. There it is. You got it. Nailed it. Tied the two pieces together. It's stuff that's familiar. It's radio stuff. More free advice. It's not out there, but it's nice. There you go. Here's your punchline. Hit the post. And we're moving on. So Tom Myers, take notes, baby. So that wasn't very good, but maybe when they do these commercials for fake businesses, But maybe when they do these commercials for fake businesses, maybe that's where they shine. And this is a balloon store, you know, balloon stores.

Oh yeah. So this is a balloon store. It's very specific. I guess the joke is that like business wouldn't be this specific. I think that's what's funny about it. And they actually post these videos separately. So you go to their YouTube page, You could just watch just this video. It's just, just sit back and enjoy everybody.

If you're having a party, you're probably going to want high quality balloons. So come on down to balloon a Palooza Valverde's premiere balloon outlet for all of your needs. And when I say your needs, I specifically mean people who want balloons that are only based off of artists who played on the Lollapalooza lineup. So if you're having a kids party and you want something Super Mario or Sonic or Paw Patrol, get the hell out of here.

But if you're a real balloon lover and you want some balloons that are shaped like Gibby Haynes from the Bumphole Surfers, or all the members of Front 242, or a balloon that looks like David Yao from Jesus Lizards Ball Sack? Then we got you covered! And if anyone tells you why can't you just get normal balloons, or at least an arcade fire one, then you tell them, no, this is only the original touring Lollapalooza from 91 to 97, not that big, weird, dumb festival that's like every other stupid festival. So come down to Balloonapalooza, we've got a balloon that's shaped like Nick Cave and the bad seeds

Wow great references guys What's that for? Well, I guess it's for guys of my generation who liked alternative rock They're like, oh my gosh, they mentioned a band I forgot about Good stuff guys see Pat. I don't know if you realize this but a balloon store wouldn't be so specific They would have the Super Mario brother It's good stuff guys see Pat. I don't know if you realize this but a balloon store wouldn't be so specific They would have the Super Mario brother Balloon probably you know what I wasn't sure but now that you explained it to me. I get it. It's brilliant now. It's funny All right, you want to see another one of their?

Pre-written bits yes, we do My bad, this is improv Oh yeah. All right. Let's go. My bad. This is improv. My fault. Obviously these guys are so slow and bad at this and this is one that they created into a what do you call those a short and YouTube short to show off how funny they are. They were eligible, but you know who's still sitting on the outside the sir. Jimmy base Bird Brigade. How can you induct Tom Penning the Heartbreakers, who has stolen every move from Jimmy,

and it's a shame, and they haven't even nominated. They should get in for hot All-Star nights alone. Oh my God, Bob. You come in here, you're literally speaking the language of Whist Turlington. It's like the rock I came up with I was right here Right before I went to New York and had an amazing career I was right here at 108.9 the hawk saying stuff like hey, that's Jimmy bass and the Bird Brigade

And I want to wait point nine the hawk and everybody in Val Verde phones would not stop ringing for Jimmy bass In the Bird Brigade now, but do you think his kidnapping thing? Kind of took him away from any sort of ballot? Good hurt from any sort of ballot. I liked his look of desperation as he said that. Guys, guys, I don't know where I'm going with this, but I'm still talking. I just can't stop forming more sentences. Someone help me.

The whole kidnapping thing. That was the big punch though. We're building up to the kidnapping. Good stuff. Cut them off the ballots. Okay. What else you got, Carl? All right.

This is a video called We Have a Wedding Krabbitz Interview Coming Up and Paul Beauchamp is here for it. Hashtag comedy and I saw the hashtag comedy. I went, we're not going to lie to you with a hashtag. Hashtag's never lied to me before. Still one of my good, best, best, good, best friends in the entire world. Lenny Kravitz, he's going to be coming up in the next hour. He's in here talking about his new record and he wants to show us his new leather pants and I cannot wait to see

I'm gonna ask about his dick falling out cake stands. Yeah, I mean I'm actually fine with him asking about probably a Paul boat champ in case you didn't recognize what was going on right there The least funny person on the screen which is saying something Jeff was just playing another character. Oh like a goofy stunt boy guy Do you think that that's a good question for all the flow? listeners to hear are they concerned about that photo or video of My good best friend in the entire entire world Lenny Kravitz hog just falling out on stage well, of course

1994 was a great year for for smooth jazz. Kenny G's silhouette recently having been been released. And no matter when that crowd just cracking up with us, I think they'd have Oh, he can't take it. So funny. It's so funny. Such as it sounds just like it. Um going home. He's they're both dying. They're both dying because they're I mean this is an absurd premise panel if you realize this but smooth jazz radio guy is talking to rock jocks and they just can't relate on anything. Listen, if this podcast was you explaining to me what they're doing, people would watch

this all day. That would be the greatest show of all time. That would be really funny. You guys probably don't understand this. The premise here is that pretty good stuff. The morning show I go on, the sidekick guy does exactly what that guy did for every character. He pulls back from the mic. You're sitting two feet from him and he pulls back and goes and does that all the time so I'm getting flashbacks

of PTSD when I'm the third Mike on that show and I'm not gonna be on again after this obviously so does he make an additional salary by playing it another character like what's in it for him to embarrass himself like that they just throw it to this other crazy person and then he just talks to himself after that's nuts like what the fuck just happened? Alright, this is maybe the worst ad that I heard and I'm not gonna play the whole thing, don't worry, but this is an ad for a thing called Metellafuel and it's one of those things where it's a very bad loose premise and they just decide to ram it into the ground so far it will never be seen or heard from again but apparently that's what makes improv

funny. You're like well they can't still be talking about this and taking it this far can they? So it makes it bad guys. Don't fear it. Fear it. God, what are we doing, dog? Give me fuel, give me time, give me chips that I desire! HOOAH! Those aren't just lyrics to to a song that's a way of life. Hi, this is James Hetfield from... Hi, this is James Hetfield!

Pretty good impression. Vote for me! Hi, this is James Hepfield from Metallica. And if you're like me, you really do desire fuel, tires, and lots and lots of chips. Fuel was never a metaphor. It was literal. That's why I've opened my own gas station right in Val Verde.

James Hepfield's Metallifuel. Yeah! Look, when you're on the road as long as I am you need a break from all that headbanging and you also need a break From Lars. That's why I get my hands dirty at metallifuel It's James Hetfield gonna give you a lube job on your car. Yeah Why do he do that? Is there a gun to his head? Who's making him do that? Yeah. It's the worst premise. It's the worst James Hadfield impression I've ever heard of. It's so embarrassing. It's so embarrassing. Okay. One more clip because if you thought that was bad,

it's like, okay, one more clip because if you thought that was bad, wait until they listen to some Eddie Vedder and do their impression of uh of Eddie. I like it when he says, oh yeah, and you know what that means? You know what that means? We're going out for, I know for I know I know what it means. What do you tell me? What do you want me to say? Well, I use better stone the only software that lets you know what Eddie better is saying and you can learn to speak Eddie better better stone fine sponsors of the Jeff and wisp show right here on 108.9 the hawk And what are you saying is hey, let's go out for pancakes after this show guys. What do you think? And then people don't realize.

Nobody knows. Nobody realizes it. The thing with better speak. It's a lot like shorthand or like the stenographer. Why would that have anything to do with pancakes after the show? I mean, I got the premise, but it's the, and they keep on this for a minute in a courtroom. Oh, there's like three buttons. It's that's it for, if you're having a keyboard, that this for a minute. In a courtroom. Oh, there's like three buttons.

It's, that's it. For if you're having a keyboard, that's just Vetter, you got three buttons, tops. Tops. Let's have a little conversation in Vetter. I'm gonna talk to you. Actually, I will talk to you first. And you talk in God's English, okay?

I'll talk in my Lord and Savi's. Is God's English a term the kings and kings English yeah yeah God did speak English and that dude follows it up with Lord and Savi's I don't think he spoke at all God's English up there Savi's up there in savers Savi's soEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEE E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E He had to buy himself that much time. Oh, yeah. Yeah, of course If you guys could tell what that was all a tactic to buy some time to think of something and then it's back to the pancakes He didn't do an impression. He just did guitar noises like at least adam sandler did voices and talk like you're right It's a good place. I don't even and then be close to something any better would say And of course he is listing off the three types of syrups that eddie vetter prefers that is of course he is listing off the three types of us here upset Eddie Vedder prefers that is of course

Oh, you gave yourself a task now come up with three different serves. Let's see here. We go all right standard poison berry In cream which is an interesting better choice, but that's what that last whoop means All right, I think we get the point It's ever get the point. I get the gist of this Yeah, I get the Ray DeVito style gist of of this show I think we can we can move on from that because now that I've warmed you guys all up and Listen a lot of that stuff was improvised. It's hard to be funny when you're improvising

People are usually better, which is why I prefer to see a stand-up comic than an improv group, because you can usually fine-tune things, work through jokes, rewrite them, come up with the right flow, the right word economy, the right punchline, and who is better at that than my boy Tom Meyers? You know it's no different than you know police officer running to the scene of a crime or a firefighter running into a burning building it's what I do. It passed my favorite person to play Tom Meyers jokes for. Now because of you we now Tom and I talk back and forth on Facebook and Instagram sometimes

and Tom likes to try to troll me. Then I was like, Oh good, I'll be on this Saturday to shit on you. And I told him, so he knows we're on. Oh, so he really is that kind of a busy body where he sees that you're on there. When I'm on Facebook, I wrote, I wrote a joke and he goes, Hey, 2009 called about the joke. Like you're going to talk to me about an old fucking joke. Wow. Like I'll see, I'll see you on W ATP later on. That's funny because I was, I put this up on who are these

socials the other day. I don't know that my buddy Mike Geary believed me cause he can't see what is actually going on in my life, but I got a notification from Tom Myers and he was asking for notification from Tom Myers and Stand up performances on W ATP. I mean, that's the funniest thing he's ever done. That's pretty impressive, but it's so weird. That's pretty cheap pay for stand up. Two performances is only a hundred bucks of performance. That's pretty good deal. Yeah. If he actually told jokes, I would hire him. It'd be a steal if he was funny.

All right. So the reason why I wanted to bring my boy, Tom Myers, because I was disappointed the last time he was on a little bit of a break and he hadn't written any jokes for Trump and the 34 convictions. Well, I'm happy to say he put out a new episode since then. And finally, I mean, they've all been waiting for this. Trump is a felon and I can't wait for the jokes they come up with because I don't even know this. They don't like Trump. They don't think he's a great guy. So I bet they got some good stuff.

There's the first joke right out of the gate of the new episode. Hello and welcome to Tom Myers versus the rest of the world. I don't know if you heard in the news, but this past week Donald Trump was convicted of all 34 counts of falsification of business documents when he paid off Stormy Daniels to keep her quiet about a sexual relationship that Trump had with her years ago. Trump must feel bad as he never even had 34 wins the entire time that he owned the New Jersey General's football team. team. Wow. To get there. After all of that, I love that he set up like we all know all of this. This is the biggest news story top. He's going. So what happened was he was in court.

Now he was our president. But before that, he was a reality TV show. He is a celebrity. Fuck this porn star and her dimensions are we know all of this time. Get to the joke. The one thing I didn't know is that he owned this amateur football team. What's he talking about? That's the one setup needed was the USFL team. Yeah. That'd be the one thing. And what is, what does wins at a football field have to do with convictions in a court case? It's 30 wins in football. That's like three really good seasons. They're not playing 16 games. That'd be pretty dominant. So I don't even understand if he had won 34

games, would that make the convictions? Okay. Like what's the connection here? Only Tom knows he is. I thought we'd get a song parody or something like 34 ways to go to prison or something. So like 50 ways to leave your lover. Yeah. But we had this. Well, right. Cause when he, when he brings up the number you go how's he gonna make this number a joke and it's like it's like football wins like wait what I mean you can count anything if you want to start counting things the joke that would be funnier yeah you know 34 34 ties and just one closet again probably Is 34 to pays?

34 shades of orange Just make up things you can count But he's not done there. Thank God we have we have more jokes this proves that Donald Trump and I are Not alike for instance after I have sex with, the woman pays me not to talk about it, which is why I can afford to stay at home and do this podcast. So I just want to point out something that's kind of technical here. The inflection was wrong on that joke. He should say the woman pays me not to talk about it because it was the other way around with Trump.

Instead he says the woman pays me not to talk about it. As opposed to getting paid to talk about it because it was the other way around with Trump. Instead he says, the woman pays me not to talk about it. As opposed to getting paid to talk about it? Yeah, what do you mean? Yeah. Doesn't make any sense. You're also admitting you pay for sex. I don't get that part of the serious part of the joke. At least you got laid.

Obviously I pay for sex, but when I do, they shut up. Yeah, all right. Let's hear that again. This proves that Donald Trump and I are not alike For instance after I have sex with someone the woman pays me not to talk about it Which is why I can afford to stay at home and do this podcast The laugh was seriously a serious question how many times you think Tom Myers said sex I put the over 30.5 Like the woman

All right So here's a Stormy Daniels joke and listen closely cuz I don't get it The fact that Stormy Daniels was a key witness that led to a guilty verdict just proves what I've been saying all along Porn stars will save this country and this Thanksgiving Maybe the first one where I get to declare that in front of my family without being asked to leave the table thoughts His what his family thinks he's a pervert and he watches porn. It's a loose like so he's finally could say no They're helping us. It's good to support them points It's a loose like so he's finally could say no, they're helping us. It's good to support them

points Here again like well Starts gonna accomplish the fact that stormy Daniels was a key witness that led to a guilty verdict Just proves what I've been saying all along porn stars will save this country porn stars will save this country That's his premise. They're important. Also, that's what he's been saying. Every Thanksgiving and then they ask you to leave They're like time. We don't agree with that for the last time. Yeah, it's that's Hey mom, should I suck the turkey like the porn star stuff my ass or get out of here Tom? That's too much Tom. We warn you every year. All right, pretty good stuff Let's keep going Donald Trump supporters are convinced that his conviction has something to do with a

deep state conspiracy. Well, they're half right. The conspiracy is that they're so fucking stupid that they don't understand that the laws and the criminal justice system also apply to white people. People who don't support Donald Trump wish he would follow the path of Jimmy Carter, the only other surviving one term president president and check into a hospice. By the time we get to the punch line, I forget the setup. It's so fucking well. So I think that the first punch line he kind of just pushed through cause no one reacted to it. And then he got to a second punch line, but also he doesn't

understand how hospice works. Like they don't kill you in hospice. This guy should really check into one of those hospice carrots. I hear people don't live very long after that. It's like, this guy should really check into one of those hospice guards. I hear people don't live very long after that. It's like, yeah, but that's because they're... Yeah, it's not a suicide booth. Well, you also don't check in. Like, doctors are like, we need to be there. You can't do shit like check in. I have a reservation. Can I get a plus one to this hospice? My Airbnb hospice is beautiful.

No one texted me the code for the door. All right. So he also said in there that Trump supporters or someone is so stupid. They didn't know that white people could be convicted of crimes or something. There was a lot in there. It's a lot going on. So let's go a little bit deeper with these rich white people never getting arrested or something. There was a lot in there. It's a lot going on. So let's go a little bit deeper with these rich white people never getting arrested or convicted.

Do you know how bad you have to fuck up if you're a rich white guy and you're still found guilty at a trial? Basically, it's like an exclusive club where the only members are Trump and Harvey Weinstein. Harvey Weinstein. And Hunter Biden. Well, or Sam Bankman Fried. Harvey Weinstein and Hunter Biden. Well, or Sam Bankman Fried or Jared Fogel or Michael

Avenatti or Phil Spector. I mean, there's like Jeffrey Epstein. There's so many examples of this. You're just like, yeah, but there's like all these recent ones. So it kind of loses its, I don't know. Maybe I'd be a tube dead picky. No, you're not. I think that when you say Harvey Weinstein like that's a punchline no matter what it doesn't matter what the son. I'll just leave with that. Yeah

Am I right? I like Carl that I really feel like you believe that Tom Myers has a chance to be funny Because this constant thing or you're like no time. You just did this I Don't work or you're like, no, Tom, you just did this. You're not listening, man. Stop it. I know. Your intervention's not working. I know. My favorite was the last time we were playing this, and you're like, OK, the way that you would form this joke, Tom, is you set up that premise and then give an example.

Premise an example. That's how you make a joke. And you're right. He's never listen. He listens to these things. He flags them on YouTube. He strikes my channel. He doesn't learn anything from these.

Yeah, he's the podcast Karen. He really is. This one, this next joke right here. And it's weird because you would think he knows so much about Trump. He's obsessed with Trump. You'd think he'd come up with more clever jokes. Don Jr. and Eric Trump both posted on their social media feeds about their disdain for the guilty verdict.

That's a great way for Donald to remember his kids names. That's a great way for Donald to remember his kids names. Is he okay? Can you play it again? I guess he's senile also. Yeah. Alright, let's let's try it. Maybe maybe I'm missing

something. Let's hear this again. Yeah. Don Jr and Eric Trump both posted on their social media feeds about their disdain for the guilty verdict. That's a great way for Donald to remember his kids names. Yeah, I don't get it. It's I yeah, I can't explain. We're all in a lot of words on that one, Tommy, but good stuff.

All right. If they came out and like spoke about it in front of him, you like, oh yeah, I know you too. Like but just posting about it. Did he tag? I don't know where he's going. Yeah, that didn't make any sense. Maybe this one will make more sense to us because apparently the supporters of Trump see Trump as a Jesus like figure. You know, he's a

martyr now. Okay. Trump supporters are comparing him being found guilty to Jesus being found guilty. I won't buy the comparison until I win the sweepstakes to hammer in the first nail. See, the panel loves this. Yeah. Anything where it's like, oh, we get to actually physically torture Donald Trump.

Yeah. All right. Now that's a joke I can get behind. That's good stuff. Well, then they understood the joke. I think they're just, yeah, that's true. It's a victory lap for them. Yeah. Finally. He understood that like Jesus now do a cross like, Oh, those things connect. Good one, boss. Very good. Tom. Yes. We're following that. Delivery is very GPS voice where it's like, Jesus. It's like, why is he saying it

like that? Like everything is like this weird inflection in the wrong spots. It's like he's reading these jokes for the first time. He's surprised by the next one. Jesus. Oh yeah, that's right. I remember this joke now. Now it's June and Pat, I know you know this because you're a big supporter of the LGBTQ plus community.

It is pride month. And so our boy, Tom, being the good liberal that he is, has to work in pride month in one of these monologue jokes. And he does it so seamlessly. This is what I love about time. If you weren't a trained ear like myself, this would just fly right by just like, well, this makes perfect sense. But no, no, no, no, no. This is him. Definitely shoe hoarding at a pride month reference. I don't know. This is him definitely shoe hoarding at a pride month reference. Coincidentally enough, your crazy Trump supporting uncle is now professing his undying love for the presumptive Republican presidential nominee just in time for pride month. So your uncle is going to vote for Trump. That's gay. I guess that's the joke, right? He's gonna vote for Trump. That's gay

Economy of words right there. Yeah, that's just the premise and yelling that's gay at the end that feels every time Why Yeah, you're better than Harvey Weinstein. Why did she cross the road? Because he's gay. Late and gay. All right. Knock knock. Who's there? Homo. Jeff Heisen is 80 years old and he's an attorney and the guy is

wasting and I felt bad for Lisa Boswell. By the way, quick update. Lisa was back on the show yesterday. That reality show. She's back at Helga's house which is great out of the hospital. She definitely wasn't ready to be on a show yet. She's needs to take some more time to get better but it's great to see her back on the show. Very exciting news. Jeff Heisen is a guy who's up there at age with probably limited time left on this earth and for some reason is spending his time watching these trials like

they're a sporting event. And on that note, on with the show. Please join me in welcoming Jeff Heisen, Michelle Wojtkowski, Polite Kitty, and David Kay. Hey Tom. Hello. Everyone, I think we all pretty much had a nice break and what a great story to come back to. I still think about that moment when you're standing there because I stood up a split decision, but I never thought it was going to be unanimous every single count. It was a glorious day. What a glorious day. Remember that day when Trump was convicted at all 34 counts? What a glorious day.

That's just so much for me personally. I had my little fuck Trump flag. I had my penitent behind me. I was all excited about it. These people are sick. These people are losers. At the end of this, Tom gives his final thoughts and he's trying to convince us that we're better off today than we were four years ago and therefore everyone should vote for Joe Biden. I can't imagine there's a lot of MAGA people listening to his show, especially all the way through. I don't know why he has to do this at the end. He's not winning anyone over with this, but listen to the mental gymnastics he has to do because gas prices were way cheaper

four years ago. We went through almost hyperinflation over the last couple of years and everything's way more expensive and that kind of sucks, but his premise is of course everyone's life is better. So listen to how he figures this out. And in the month of June of 2020, the price of a gallon of regular gas went above $2. A seemingly better value than now, but keep in mind that at the time less fuel was being consumed because nobody was going anywhere because remember this, we were still under lockdown, some of us, because of a contagious and severe respiratory virus. In short, are we better off today than we were four years ago in case you need to be reminded and hell, all of you do do then the answer is yes. Good night

How the hell did he get there he goes now guys four years ago gasoline was way cheaper than this now But we didn't even have to buy very much of it. Well, those are two good things Aren't those both positives? He's like, yeah, I mean it was cheaper, but you didn't even need it that much Alright, cool. So I'm paying way less for gas. Is that what you're telling me? sounds like a win-win. I don't know. It could be right. Yeah, you're right. Who's that message for? They're all, all 12 of them are picking voting for Biden already. Yeah. And anyone listening to the show who's not pulling clips and then playing them on their show, right? Would have to be on

the same page. So if you listen all the way to the end and you listen past the ending credits, you get to more advertisements. And I thought this was a spectacular advertisement that everyone needs to hear. Hi, this is Jeff from Tom Myers versus the rest of the world. If you enjoy hearing me talk with Tom about politics and you're a fan of the New York Mets, then join me and Greg Prince in National League Town, available wherever you find your favorite podcasts. It's the funniest thing he's ever said.

Pat, I see that you're laughing over there. Is it because you think maybe it's kind of a niche audience that he's talking to? If you like Democratic thoughts and Benny Akbaya, these stats. Yeah, the fucking mats and who's listening to that? He's listening to the show, but I do love the way he sets it up. If you love hearing me talk to Tom about politics, we don't. Right. And you like the bats. Not really. Yeah. Who are they? Yeah. And if you're worried about the trade deadline, like I'm not. How about that? If

you like politics and baseball, listen to us. Okay. But no, you've got like this one team in this one side and then you're in. It's insane. If you like libertarians and the Brewers, listen to me. I mean, so yeah, I think that's kind of a niche product that probably not a lot of people are going to be checking out. Some of the people have been checking out a lot lately is Aaron Imholt because you know, Aaron had his wife on his show for many months. He was trying to convince everyone that she's great on the show and that everything's going great and

the relationship's amazing. She's so funny and then she announces that she left the show and then a month after that, he announces that they're getting a divorce and then a she's so amazing. She's so they're nourished and so Aaron's been spilling all this information about all this shit. And I was really happy to see his friend Keanu. Now Keanu does Aaron's show every Thursday morning. And Keanu was on Simcast with Chrissy Mayer and Missy B, all friends of WATP, Keanu, Chrissy, Missy B. There's another woman there too, but she never talks about any of these clips. So we'll pretend it's just those three

having this conversation. And so Chrissy saw Missy B on this show, talking about Erin and trying to break down personality disorders and things like that. So she brings this up. And I love the insights because normally women's opinions on podcasts I don't technically agree with. But they do have insights when it comes to a guy getting cocked.

So women are going to look at the situation where Aaron Imho lost his wife to another couple because the other couple was fucking her as she decided to go with them and do drugs and get fucked by them rather than be with him and women see that and they go oh that's pathetic and then and Chrissy's since she stayed with them and she actually ran away before doing a show a while back so she's seen the dynamic for real so she's got that insight too. Yeah, she introduced the M Holtz to the Raketas. Chrissy does. She connected those two and also Keanu and Gino have gone to visit the

M Holtz in Minnesota before. So they all have personal relationships to some degree. So they know this shit better than anyone else does. So I was very excited to see them to start to talk about this and some of the insights they had, starting with Chrissy's insight. It was, they literally swapped wives. And it wasn't like they planned that? No. Like they were like, oh, the weekends.

My guess is that Nick was attracted to April and then Aaron was probably like, and I don't know anything about like how it, how it went down, but I think it started with Nick and April and then she would go over there and like hunt hunting, hunting, right. And then, and was like, Hey, well, I guess I like Kayla seems pretty cool. All right. So already I'm loving this insight because they're going, obviously Nick, who's the big swing and Dick and this he has the most viewers. He's the

millionaire. He got together with the in-holds and went, Oh, I think I want to fuck that guy's wife. And so they would invite her over because Aaron's not a hunter, but April is. So she would go over there for the weekends to go hunting on their acres and acres of land. And I'm guessing other things too, we're going on other grown up things. Yeah. Other adult things that adults do. And Chrissy Bayer is just like, yeah, I mean, obviously that's what was going on before Aaron did she introduce them just for content? Maybe because it worked. She, she created the devil verse. Yeah, she knows a thing or

two about creating content. So gotta give her that. What Keanu says next, stop me in my tracks. And I went, Oh, I've definitely played this on the next WATP. So no, I think it was more, I think it's even more sinister and bizarre than that. I think in just as there my friends and Aaron wouldn't shit on me for saying this, I think he's a doofus. And when I think that they maybe they the three maybe Aaron, excuse me, I get them confused. Nick, Kayla and April probably had maybe the idea a little bit before Aaron was in on it. Of course, yes. And then Kayla going, you know, entice Aaron because he's like, well, yeah, I'm cool too. Somebody likes me.

It was sort of a distraction. That's just my opinion. That's my favorite opinion you've ever had. Keanu, I love it. I love your insight right there. My thought is that like that Aaron guy who was getting cucked, of a doofus Didn't know what was going on didn't realize that they were just stealing his wife from him right in front of his face Which is a very funny observation. Oh, you're going home She knows he's a cuck because she literally he literally just said yes

He's my friend and he wouldn't mind me saying this but he's a cuck in a doofus. Yeah, you're right That's incredible She's his co-host once a week and she's going oh, yeah, yeah He definitely had no idea what was going on because he's a doofus. He doesn't know what the fuck's up So this is even more about how he's a doofus which is hilarious Yeah, because he he can be he's blinded by the goal and being a doofus and whatever You know I mean, I and I'm his friend and I'm saying that, you know, April would say the same thing probably. So I think it's easier for a girl to be seduced by a couple than a man to be seduced by a couple or like, so again, I love this because Aaron didn't

recognize he was neglecting April, treating her like shit, exposing her to like all these mean internet trolls and chat rooms and things like that. And so he doesn't realize that she's like looking for something else and she's like, Oh, these guys are cool. Nick Rekade is cool. Kayla's cool. I'll hang out with them.

And Aaron's just like, I got to make my $350 this morning. That's the only thing he's worried about it. Like, like, you gotta just say, he's blinded by the goal in order to to get his money was not paying attention. So they talk about, and this is the story and we haven't talked about the salacious details because I don't care about that stuff as much. But this is an important thing for this clip. I want to play you because Aaron when he was on Keno casino, told everything that happened and the, but this is an important thing for this clip I want to play you. Because Aaron, when he was on Keno Casino, told everything that happened and the way that this whole wife swapping thing started is they're

sitting and watching a movie. Django Unchained, by the way, very, very sexy movie. Yeah. So the four of them, the two couples got their favorite word in it. Yes. And during the sexy, sexy time movie, Kayla, Nick's wife and April Aaron's wife start making out. And so then the two guys come over and whatever. They start making out. So I just love this observation about that. And if you hear him tell that first story of the girls started making out and they put

on Aaron's favorite movie, of course, Inglorious Basterds. That's a real sexy movie. Inglorious Basterds? Are they scalping people? No, it was, it's even worse. They're both great movies. It's the slave one Tarantino, I forget, whatever it's called. Jango Unchained.

The girls all of a sudden start making out as if maybe it was sort of a plan and then they were unchained. Yeah, it's just my opinion. But then April was really excited about it. He was like, I don't know if I liked that or, you know, so he's a doofus. He's not a narcissist, he's a doofus. I don't think he really saw all of that. He probably did not think he would lose. He didn't imagine a scenario where she could lose his wife. That was a Lisa Boswell type summation. That was perfect.

Because I love that she recognizes, she just heard Erin tell the story and she recognizes like, oh, that's not the first time. They didn't just start making out during this movie in front of you guys as like a first time thing. So she had already been like the third wheel in that tricycle. Racism is boring. Let's make out. It sounds happening there.

Yeah. I mean, the N words are fun, But what else can we do while we're watching this? So then a super chat comes up asking if because, like I said, Keanu, who's engaged to Gino Biscotti are friends with the M Holtz and they've gone to Minnesota and hung out, they went to a football game together. So the super chat comes up, do you think you guys are being groomed they had gone to Minnesota and hung out. They went to a football game together or whatever. So, the super chat comes up. Do

you think you guys are being groomed by the M holds and this tickles Keanu. Bob Gable, Keanu, do you think you and Gina were being groomed? By whom? I don't know. Yeah, by who? By by didn't Aaron say he fell in love with Kayla She could fathom who that was yes, she's like what are you talking about right exactly but um

Me and Gino try grooming either of us. Are you fucking kidding? To be groomed you're very not really fucking serious Absolutely not we call there be like something is amiss here And there's five children. I don't know what's happening. We need to yeah, absolutely not Gino Let alone me be fucking groomed absolutely not translation you think I'm being groomed by a dork That's very it's all you can't you can't groom the autistic That's very insulting. You can't groom the autistic. There's that too. Maybe you can. Alright, so then Aaron gets notified they're talking about him on this show. So then he super chats the show.

Still though, got messages from Plattletales saying Chrissy was trashing me. No. I go watch it And I agree with just about everything she said about my mistakes lol live and learn good show ladies. Oh Aaron see I hope you don't think I was trashing you six and a half hours later Everyone was talking shit about me. No, it's not just us. It's the whole internet talking shit about me.

No, it's not just us. It's the whole internet. Very good. So Aaron Duncan, the Lincoln shows up on the show and he doesn't know how to act with these women. He's a doofus. And look at me. I'm actually like a funny, cool guy. And it's like, no, this is why we were making fun of you, Aaron. This isn't working. No one's buying this. He's got a black face on and be like I'm jangle and That would have been funnier. I'm doing a show I'm doing a show on

Juneteenth with Doug from who's right and I said nice celebrate Juneteenth will both dress up as our favorite black person No, so he's gonna be Malcolm xx xl When I texted him that. Because he's a funny guy. All right. Oh, that podcast is awesome, Dan. Who's right? They're great. Yeah, they're fantastic.

I agree. All right. So now he's on the show. And so now they get to talk to him about how he was a neglectful husband and he deserves everything that happened to him with April leaving him for this other couple. Let's see. I recently got divorced and Chrissy said I think he wasn't paying attention to the problems he and his wife was having very well. Yeah, that's usually the

case when a relationship falls apart. So Aaron's whole thing now is that he's going on here and going guys. I accept it. I was a bad husband. I lost my going on here and going guys, I accepted. I was a bad husband. I lost my wife over it and you guys want to make fun of me for losing my wife. But listen, man, I admit it. I'm admitting all of this. The thing that everyone and especially me has a problem with is the fact that he was lying to everyone for six months plus straight telling us everything was great. Everything was going fantastic and it wasn't. They were fighting. They were

arguing. They were taking their kids to a drug den on the weekends. They're doing all this crazy shit. And he was lying to all of us. And I was like, I'm the only one who's being honest with everyone. It's like, well, now you are, but who even knows because we haven't heard the other side of the story yet. So we have no idea. Cause he was trying to get lead. He was lying when he thought he only could bang April. But now that he knows he can't bang April, he's going to play like I was duped. I didn't know I'm

the honorable. So, he's just it's he's just trying to find different pussy. Brilliant observation, Pat because I have a new theory and I'm going to throw it out there. I'm going to start a new rumor right now but this is just a theory.

Steeltoe just this past week was literally reading Bible verses. Unironically, he was going through and he's going, yeah, when we were at the church with the Raketas, they were reading this Bible verse. I think that they were talking about us and he's reading through it and he's explaining why you got to live your life a certain way

based on this Bible verse. And I went, well, this is so fucking weird. This is not the shock jock that I used to know thou shall fuck my neighbor's life It doesn't say that although it did the translation, you know, it didn't have to get I could be converted So this is my theory on Aaron that now these like pretend he's like super religious and stuff that new girlfriend that he was bragging about I bet she's a born-again or like a super Jesus That makes a lot of checks and now he's out there goinggging about, I bet she's a born again or like a super Jesus. See that makes a lot of checks.

So now he's out there going, yeah, I found Jesus now. It's, you know, I was doing Molly three times, but now I found Jesus. So I don't do that anymore. But here's the here's the rumor that I want to get started. Remember how he's talking about, like we do things like adults do when adults get together. Oh, yeah, I bet he's got a hand job at best because this is like a Jesusy check. Yeah. And I bet he got to third base once but the panties didn't come off That's that's the rumor. I'm putting out there. He's all excited about this. I'm sure he nodded. He's like

Chastity belt what? Yeah, right? I mean listen. I'm sure he nodded. I'm sure it was very exciting for everyone involved But I am calling it Aaron is not getting laid right now. He said, I've released my sins twice. That's it. That's it. Yes. Not great. I've anointed her face once. So then Missy B is just like Aaron, because this is their first interaction ever. And Missy B came on our show to review him. So she's going, well, hey, I hope, I hope we're cool, Aaron. And Missy B Beaton say anything bad about Aaron. She doesn't really know him very well. Actually, if anything, she went to bad for him inadvertently. Correct.

Yes, very much so. So she goes, I hope we're cool. And listen to Aaron's response to this. It's so douchey. Wait a minute. I made a career ripping off your boyfriend's entire act. You and I are fine. Cool. Awesome. I made a career ripping off your boyfriend's entire act. You and I are fine. Cool. Awesome. I made a career ripping off Anthony Kumia's entire act. This guy thinks so highly of himself. And one of the things people goof on him for is he's constantly doing movie quotes and impressions. Things that Anthony does well. That people like about Anthony.

So Aaron obviously thinks that he's like the next Anthony Kumia. He's talked about it before. He's one of the best broadcasts. He's up there with Anthony and he goes, Missy, we're cool. I ripped off your boyfriend. That's my whole career is being the next Anthony Kumia. Slow down. Yeah. Also, he's saying we're cool because I say we're cool. Right? We're cool. You say it takes two. We're cool because I really like the guy that you're dating Yeah, also weird, but then I stole from your boyfriend. It's not a compliment

It's like I emulate him. I look up to him I change my act like him because I want to be that good but to say I stole that's not nice Right. That was a weird thing about this. It's not just like I look up to him and I enjoy his show. It's like I become him. Yeah, it's an upper hand thing. And he's Opie the crippled guy? Yes, Opie is Johnny Crutches. He's trying to recreate Opie and Anthony. That's funny. The crippled guy. So right after he says that, because in my mind, I even wrote it down in my notes. I'm like, Oh, cause you do your impressions in your movie quotes. And then immediately after that, he goes right into one of his fucking

movie quotes and impressions right here. And, uh, and to quote Ricky Bobby, uh, uh, no, this would be no to quote Will Ferrell in the campaign. I fucked up like, so like people criticizing me is like, yeah, yeah. I'm pretty sure I've laid all this stuff out too. Like that's what friends do. So one of the things that Anthony never does, I've listened to a lot of hours of Anthony Koumea, he doesn't tell you the movie, the line he's going to do and the person who's saying it. So check out this impression I'm going to do. Uh, Will Ferrell from step brothers.

You just like, no, just do it. And if it's good, we'll know Aaron, that's what stuttering John would do. That's how John would do it right there. And then. We'll know Aaron. That's what stuttering John would do That's how John would do it right there, and they'd laugh at it, and they'd ask you Do you know who directed that movie? Yeah, because he thinks that like knowledge like that makes him smart and power That's why being on Cooley's show I always liked it when he would do it, and I would know and Garrett would put up a clip of Colombo Okay, that's who it was Now I get it, but again

schedule was. Now I get it. But again, Aaron's going on this multi-week victory lap declaring he's the only truth teller on the internet. And it's like, no, no, no, you don't understand Aaron. You lied for so long that it doesn't matter. None of that matters anymore. We can never

take anything you say at face value ever again. It's the same thing with stuttering John, John doing his victory lap over. I've been substitute teaching this whole time and then laughing like, ha ha, I got one over on you guys. Right. Very similar. You just lose all credibility. Then we don't believe anything you say. We don't believe that

you graduated from NYU. By the way, speaking of which, I should save this for the John segment. I just have a quick one today. Remind me to repeat this for the video clip. But the cease and desist that my buddy Shuli got from John, all the things that John says are not true the season assist that uh my got a gold star. You got a gold star from it. They asked Aaron the question, and this is like really despicable from Aaron. And there's been a lot of things leaking lately. Like I, I was checking in on Melton this week and Melton was playing Keanu reading all the messages. She's gotten all the DMS from Nick Reketa and Nick Reketa saying like, listen, you guys got to stop talking about April, leave her alone. Like she's just trying to live her life.

She doesn't want to have her fucking name dragged through the mud every fucking day on the internet, which is all that's happening right now. Just calling her a coke whore over and over again and a loser and all this shit. So I understand where April's coming from. Like this is absurd. What's going on? I'm sure she has her own side to these things. And so they asked the question question can April turn it around Aaron You were married to her for a couple of years

Can she can she figure this out real life? Is there anything she could do like that that could turn it around at this point turn what around like? Anything is there is there even a hope is there even a 1% chance of maybe I do This is gonna sound hokey or whatever, but I believe in her. I do. The person that I love is still alive. They're still in their son. Thank God. I do believe in April. I just don't believe in April and I. There's a big difference. I think she can turn

this thing around tomorrow. I think she can go back home, rebuild from the start, just rebuild your whole foundation, tear it all down, rebuild from the foundation. She can go back to what she was doing before the show. And one thing that Chrissy nailed right on, April and I should have never worked together. So this is a crazy thing to say, and I'll explain why. He hasn't been in touch with April since she left at the beginning of April, the month of April. So he is saying that she's hopelessly addicted to

drugs and she's strung out somewhere and, you know, homeless or barely getting by or something. He doesn't know any of that. He doesn't know what she's doing. And he's like, yeah, I think there's a 1% chance she can turn things around. She's probably fine. I've had a lot of friends who experimented with drugs. They're fine. They figure it out. You know what I mean? Like he's acting like, I don't know, she likes coke. So she's probably going to die in the next year. Like, well, I don't think that's what's going on. It's white nighting. It is the ultimate white night right now. Yes. Hey, he made all the girls go off. So now he's like, maybe I have a chance I can sleep with them someday. And now he's saying this out loud so the religious girlfriend will be like, look, he still has a heart and he cares like Jesus would. And then also

he's saying 1% chance if April does turn it around, it's because of my penis, come back to me, I'm caring for you. He just made sure that his dick stays wet the entire time. Well, I don't know if that's true, but he's trying. That's what he's trying to do. Yeah. But it's like, dude, she's fine. She just hates you. Yeah. Just the fact that she doesn't want to ever talk to you again doesn't mean that she has a problem with drugs or anything else. But you are trying to do drugs to be with you. Yes. Remember that part. She had me pickled to be with you. And he's actively trying to ruin her life. He had me pickled to be with you. He's actively trying to ruin her life Yeah, see whenever he talks about himself. He uses very vague broad terms like I fucked up Yeah, right. He never gets any more detailed about how should I have been a better father?

Yes, I should have been a better father when it comes to details about them. He's got them all isn't that crazy Yeah, so he's funny very manipulative, but he's not nearly as good as he thinks. Right. We all see right through it. But I just, I just find that so despicable. The fact that he's acting like April. I mean, maybe there's a hope for possibly she's going to be fine. Stop dragging your fucking name through the bot every day. You're the one ruining your life. You're ruining your life more than April's ruining her life by airing all of this shit. And if we hit our goal, we can get her off the streets. Look at that goal. Yeah, right. So this is my favorite clip from this because the girls

let Aaron know how he comes off. Oh, good. I will say this, Missy and Keanu, how dare the two of you say that when I try to be a tough guy, I look like a douche. That's why I told you a hundred times. You were trying to be the cool guy. You look like a douche. That's what I told you a hundred times. You were trying to be the cool guy. You look like a douche. It's okay though. Aw.

You don't have douchey moments. Forgive me as my life was in shambles trying to figure out how I wanted to present myself. Yeah, oh, I love you. It is hard to go through this. So I just love that they're just like, yeah, you look like a douche. You try to be tough guy.

You're already got to stop doing that. And coming from me or Patrick Melton, that doesn't mean anything. Coming from these women, it's like, oh, that's gonna sting. Your life is in shambles and you're on the air constantly talking about it. Your life's not in shambles. If you're in shambles, you take a break from the show and you figure shit out. You run away. You lost your wife.

You might lose your kids. Everything's down in the toilet. Even though a couple of fans that like you are turning. Patrick Melton gets more views about your show than you get about your show. Take a break. Come back and be like, I tried to help April for a while. Build that thing up. Even if you didn't, I couldn't save her whatever, but I needed time off. Then you're a good guy. It's fake. It's all like when you were saying at the very beginning, this feels staged. I believe they broke up but all this shit is to get more views and likes. Yes. Yes. Correct. Right now, all he's

worried about is he has more numbers. He says this on his show too. He's like, yeah, we have more numbers. Everything's up. Everything's going up. It's just like, yeah, but it's because you're spilling all this dirt on Nick Rekeda and April. People are interested in what you have to say, but you haven't hung out with those people in months. So you're spilling all this dirt on Nick and April. People are interested in what you have to say but you haven't hung out with those people in months. So,

you're running out of **** Like you better hope that April responds to your text messages and Dubs because if you can't read those and expose those out of the air, what are you going to do? Yeah, you can't talk about it. It gets to be a

misfit toy over on Brennan Show now because that's where they all go and they're broken and he fixes them a little bit Other animals that watch him they like that Brennan breaks things. That's where they go to die really That's very funny. All right. I just want to say I love that last clip that you played because I Think he's like, oh, I'm gonna go set them straight I'm gonna you you know, drop in on their show and we know how sensitive he is. All of them telling them that at once, that's going to hurt for a long time.

Oh yeah. That he's going to process that. It's going to take some time to process. They didn't laugh. They were literally like, yeah, like you are a doofus. And then Missy goes, it's okay to be a doofus sometimes. Like, which is that's the hardest thing to ever hear. Like you are a doofus, but it's okay. You can't help it You're doofus. That's like your girlfriend or wife going like you don't have to make me calm. It's fine I just enjoy our a while. I start now Contact

It's so sad and pathetic but put on Django. You'll be okay Classic you guys are right though because Aaron loves to go on shows and he thinks he can charm everyone and manipulate them And that's why he's been doing the rounds lately because he goes on there and he's Cordial and fun and and people just like hey this Aaron guys great and these women were actually just letting him know like for real No, this is what's going on Yes, any dork trying to act cool is transparent. Yes when you're a cool guy John tour when he first came back when Brennan paid him when he come back He thought now that I'm beloved I can go around to be on everyone shows and be charming

And he wasn't charming at all And he actually ruined it more by being on more shows. If he stayed in his one spot and maybe he'll come to him, then his fans would have built up the charm and instead he just exposed himself to be the doofus. Well, yeah, it didn't help that the second show he did was with Chad Zuback and

then the third show he did was with Chad Zuback. That's just like not a great strategy right there. The only thing that Aaron is talking about is he's going to Allen on meetings now. Okay. So he just started doing like family. That's for people who are are at to deal with alcoholics in their lives. Okay. Your alcoholic friends are gone. They don't talk to you anymore.

You don't have to go to meetings, buddy. You got them out of your life. You're fine. I think again, this is just a thing to show the new girl. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I'm fixing myself a new girl. That's where he met her. Because she probably wasn't alcoholic. Now she's a born again. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I'm fixing myself. That's where he met her because she probably wasn't alcoholic. Now she's a born again. Yeah. And then now they've met there at born again. And he's, he's there to support you with there for the April thing to get that clout. Then he met a girl who found Jesus that had booze and now he's fucking that girl. There is nothing worse than getting a girl who used to be fun. You don't want to hear the stories.

You don't want to know what's going on because she ain't fun anymore. Yeah, right. You got the TJ Maxx girl. It's like at a discounted price. It's like you hear all the good stories. Yeah, this is in style five years ago, but now you can get it for 80% off. You're like, yeah, but I guess that I want it though. She used to be a stripper. Oh, that's great. So bad.

All right. I want to bring you guys up. We didn't get to it last time, so I won't dwell on it too much, but my buddy scorched today, best of episode. Some are honest under range stories that are very strange. And actually if a card, if you want to join the show, I'll bring you up for this what's going on Cardiff Is he mute? No, sorry. I had John on in the background. It's fantastic. Oh John's on right now

From Vegas. What's going on? Securities paid him a visit already Securities paying him a visit already Yes, he's in a ho T's in the I believe a beloved chatter called it the second worst Las Vegas hotel on the strip Oh, I might know that one stratosphere or Wow alright, yeah, it's it's fantastic. He's doubled the bounty on my information. Oh, it's up to a thousand bucks Get but wait card. You can't be mad at me. You can't be mad at me. That's a lot of money But wait, he may have tangled himself into a loophole

So he said it's now up to a thousand dollars the bounty. Okay, and if you're worried that I'm gonna accidentally docks you I Won't but if I do I'll give you an extra thousand dollars So it's so if you docks the potato and get docks yourself you get to to grand If I wait there's more okay really it's a steak knife got polluted if I Cardiff electric docks myself to John mm-hmm and then he docks is me you then have to pay me 2,000 oh yeah yeah I think so yeah and you know he's good for it and you know he's good for his word. Definitely. Ask Alex Stein. Time has shown that he's he's stand up. But yeah, the the security at the fine hotel he's staying at has come to check on the cats that he said were in the parking

garage in his car. He's in the parking garage. There's no cats in his room. Do you know what the temperatures in Vegas right now? Yeah, it's 110 degrees Yes, and the cancer in a parking garage. That's what he said on not alive anymore, but I hope he cracked a window Please get that that sweet sweet Vegas breeze through there Man dude, that's crazy. Yeah. Yeah, So it's quite the episode. All right. Well, if he becomes a cat killer, that's awesome. I mean, I'm sorry for the cats, but it's great that John's a cat killer. Oh, potato soup, father's day edition and rest in peace. Wolfie.

I told my wife, she was all upset about John trying to travel with the cats cross country. And I'm like, they're going to be in a better place. I mean, they're being tortured every day. Yes, correct. They're not going to make in a better place. I mean, they're being tortured every day. Yes. Correct. They're not going to make it for sure. But he is on his way to Melton's house after the show. Oh, good. A live stream on on his Patreon. He's going to live stream the trip to Melton's. He's gonna figure out how to do that. Yeah, right. Shut up. I hope that's true. All right. Well, since we're

talking about that, will he be the first guy ever to like give his own evidence for being tried for something? Yeah, like he's literally recording himself doing something illegal. Yeah, you won't be the first person but Well, if I hand it over here you go. Give me $2,000 We'll do scorch on Wednesday So this is John's he threw all his furniture out in front of his shitty apartment So his mattress and his couch and he just left it on the curb right here. This is how he left his house Yeah, I'm not surprised in the least. I'm surprised. He even got it out of there

Well, he had a buddy come over to pull it out of there. But what a task Crippled buddy. Look at the stain on this Nice couch right here. I mean What a task. Jesus. Crippled buddy. Look at the stain on this. Nice. Couch right here. I mean, we see everything, all the fluids that are coming out of this guy's fucking head all day long. Hey, hey, let's let John will take this as a win. There's no brown stains.

I didn't shit the couch. That one was for Kate Meany. Real quick, the Barnes and News put this together. Anthony Kumia was on with Uncle Rico this past week and talking about John going after Dr. Steve and how stupid that was and how everyone loves Dr. Steve. Don't go after Dr. Steve. His friends all told him, don't do that. John wouldn't listen. So this is a fun clip.

The fans are, you know, there's a lot of old school pests in this dabble verse and they are firing up right now. Going after Dr. Steve is like, he, that's even dumb for him. Yeah. He should understand. But I like, we get, you guys were saying the other day, like he can't understand someone being liked like Dr. Steve. He doesn't have that in him. He's never experienced it. He's never felt it really for anybody else. So he doesn't understand that Steve is a genuinely good guy. He takes care of

people without wanting anything in return. And this guy extorts, like you apologize or it's your license or your medical career. So yeah, if there are any pests that are left that left their computers and fax machines in cement under their basement to dig up when it's the fan like John Wick, now's the time to do it. Unleash, release the fucking Kraken. When it's the fan like John Wick. Hell yeah. Now's the time to do it. Unleash, release the fucking Kraken.

And then he tries to intimidate Dr. Steve into apologizing to him. This guy's just a... he finds new ways to be a piece of fucking shit to everyone. And I don't accept Dr. Steve's apology. I don't accept Dr. Steve's apology. I don't accept it. So Any pests left you got your your goatee got a little grayer pest You lost the little of your hair from the 90s and 2000s But if you are out there whatever you used to do So fucking annoy the shit out of people aim it right at that fucking asshole right here care of

Anthony Koumea and dr. Steve even though Steve's not a part of it not a part of it, but full speed ahead Damn the torpedoes It's pretty exciting Well produced there by Barnes and Dudes Gotta give him credit for that, but this is just the dumbest idea to go after Dr. Steve. I don't know. I would follow that man in the battle. Yeah, we all would. So Steve, I mean, Dr. Steve, this week, what a fucking triumphant

week where he was on with Helga and I watched that whole episode talking about what Lisa was going through and so glad to see that Lisa Lisa stopped urinating for four days so her bladder was like pumping all of the urine into her body it happens it's very bad for me i don't know someone's gonna tell Lisa yeah i know i knew a guy he died of it so you're all my satisus you know a guy who died from that Seinfeld reference. Oh, I get it. Anyway, not just he's been fantastic and card. If you've been all over the place today have you had a show

with Helga this morning, subreddit surfing with Helga and then you went over to live with Helga over here. I barely got an hour for lunch. This podcasting business. So I'm just gonna pull up our next guest Helga. Hey, what's going on? I'm kidding. Oh, kindy went away. We had kindy here and now she's oh no shit. Hopefully she'll come back. Hey. All right. I'm gonna try this again. Here we go. Some are on it's under range stories that are very strange. Weird nudes. Now if you guys remember. Oh wait, did you see Opie? He's dangling off the Eiffel Tower as we speak. No.

Fuck off. If you guys remember, there was a Hot Mic incident in which Scorch was caught. Oh yeah. Scorch was caught. Oh yeah. From my skin. It's funny we have the most people we've had in a long time and they fucking sucked. So that's Scorch watching the acoustic band and going, oh, we've got the most people we've had in a long time and they fucking suck.

That one dude sounds like Nick Bates. Yeah. He's got the same pitch. So they did a best of episode. And this part made it to the best stuff. But watch how they edit this. This is incredible. Oh wow. I swear to god that's what they did. That's what they did to edit it.

Is that insane? Oh good, Kindy's back. Phew. I'm nervous for a second there. Professional operation over there. Alright, so now he had a new episode since the best of where they did that. And he's going to address the hot mic issue.

This is the most famous scorch has ever been in his life. Like everyone's talking about this. Hot mic. This is a big apology. Well, let's see how he spins this one. He's going to explain the hot mic incident with his co-host. Something that happened the last time we were live, the band was playing over here. The band was doing an acoustic thing. And I looked over to Holly cause I didn't realize my mic was hot and I said we finally have something about oh I said we finally have a crowd in here and they suck remember and the band thought I meant we finally have a crowd in here and the band sucked no no no no no and I had to call Parker Reed up the

next day remember I got his number for you Yeah, I call him Holly said Holly which Parker reads number. I gotta call him because no no no I didn't mean that there's we had the biggest crowd ever in the band sucked the band was great We're gonna have them back on again. Actually. They were on our best of worst of thing last week What I meant was we had the hugest crowd in her ever and they were just the quietest They were there was a soggy crowd. I mean sometimes just the quietest. Yeah, it was a sucky crappy I mean sometimes that happens sometimes today here. They're just a sucky crowd. So there you go chat room try to Push that around the way you can so okay, so that's a horrible explanation. Yeah, it really I was saying those two guys you can't sing harmonies well song

I was saying everyone else does and well, that doesn't make it better. No one's gonna want to go to your shows anymore That's what you were saying But also he's lying I was saying everyone else does. I was like, well, that doesn't make it better. No one's going to want to go to your shows anymore. That's what you were saying. But also he's lying. He's lying. That band sucked. We all heard it. Yeah. I think the band would agree with you.

Yeah. So he goes, the band thought, I was talking about them. Yeah. The whole internet thinks that. Everyone thinks that. Yeah. It was the funniest thing you ever said. And did you hear at the end there? He goes, let the chat room do what they want with that. Yeah scorch is reading the chats On all of these videos and it is getting to him. He brings it up a lot

Non-stop. It's just like I know the chat probably think it's just like you can't live your life that way man It's not a good way to go. Yeah, did he mean people in the room or Watching the live stream Did he mean people in the room or watching the live stream? Like he meant people had. Yeah. No, he, he met the people who were there at the bar at the bar. Okay. Weren't hooting and howling enough. And again, it's course in one of these guys who wouldn't blame his own performance. It's always got a dodge of a crowd here today. It's like, well, maybe your show sucks. It's also a possibility.

Dummy sucked him the crowd, the music, everything sucks. Yeah. The tech, the tech is terrible. And I have examples of that, but first, and thanks to Christian Blatt for pulling these clips for me. First, this is the best of show. So he announces on his podcast the week before, we're going to do a best of, cause I'm doing this music festival next week. So we're going to do a best of show. And this is from the best of show. So someone pulled these clips together and made this the best of, we're going to run a best of type show from some of the past episodes.

Yes, folks in the chat room. I said a best of it may take us a couple of hours to find a couple of breaks, but we'll find a couple of best of breaks. I, we're going to be doing something like that for next week. So he's literally pulled the clip of him saying next week will be a best of and put that in the best of. How confusing is that? Am I just realizing now that Pat Oates could play Scorch in the movie? Oh, it's brought up every week. I mean, there's not a time. It's just hitting me. I was so pissed when I saw Carl put in the Patreon, we're going to have the Scorch clips. I'm like, thanks,

asshole. It's brought up nonstopstop ever since my first time on Kumi I've been called scorch all the time. Okay, I Like that you think I should act as a movie and I'm not just another retarded version of him So I appreciate you for saying that yeah, you play you play a slightly younger scorch Thanks, bud Scorch in 2019 All right. So the episode ends this best stuff. Now this best of episode is nine hours and 23 minutes

long. So it ends before we get to the end of it. And it ends with this disclaimer, which I'll talk about. And then you're going to watch Christian Blatt try to figure out where the rest of the show is All right, so it says Scorch's PFC TV is copyrighted broadcast any rebroadcast or retransmission of any part of the show without express written Consent of Scorch or Scorch's PFC TV is strictly prohibited. Go ahead. Try us I think I'm doing it I think that was directly directed at us Potentially. All right. So now the show came to an end, but they're still looking only an hour 51 in

So you see Chris is looking like huh? What's going on here, so? Screen grab of it now. He said scrubbing and scrubbing I wish you could hear the names he was yelling at his computer at this moment now We're eight and a half hours and still a blank screen still all black so apparently Whoever edited this they had six and a half hours of black screen in the middle of it So good stuff you got a great team over there Scourge you guys are killing it

That would have best of hours to render. Yeah, right. You wouldn't recognize you wouldn't really as you're uploading it. You're like, it's got another day to go. Jesus. Yeah. Sometimes I accidentally leave a tail on something and it's rendering. You immediately know. Yeah, this should not be taking this long. Holy **** Alright, so this is uh the uh the close of the best of episode. This is how he uh he ends it. We're back like summer. Thank you so much. So the bang gets done and Scorch's

mic is not on and he's saying something to someone and you can't hear him. This is the how he ends the best of so whoever's working for scorch hates him yeah Either wildly incompetent or hates him, and I'd like to think it's hates him right me, too I gotta think that's what's going on. I want to say I want to say like young Sam Roberts went back in time Mmm, and his interning for scorch Scorch in this newest episode. I just have a few clips here. He's constantly battling with the chat. All right.

So he's reading it. He's seeing what's going on and he's going to call them out. I don't know if this is the right way to handle this. It might not be, but you guys can be the judge on this one. Color of the day. Give that shit up. Will you please? You know what? Once again, I like, we don't really cater just to the chat room,

but give up the things that are just lame color of, Oh, you know, so many years ago there was a radio station in Boston that did a color of the day. Okay. So when I worked in Syracuse, I said, you know, it was pretty successful. Radio people steal radio stick. stick I said I'll do the color of the day color of the day was pretty successful. He says Okay, cool. Well, everybody liked it until the ONA people got a whole video and it was too It was too smart. It was too jocktober if you guys will Mike snow knows a jocktober I don't know what I don't know what jacktober is. I don't know what Jocktober is. You don't have to. It was too Jocktober for Scorch, you know, for the ONA people.

Okay. And now they just- It's like, Holly, you don't have to know what Jocktober is and never Google it. Never ever look it up. Nobody liked it. I was looking for Scorch's current channel and when you put in Scorch or PFGTV or any of that, it's all just the old Jacktober bets all over YouTube. Howie's never even Googled Scorch?

All right. That story checks out. He couldn't explain to her what it was and made it like so. All people that don't know would get it. It's just a conversation and he could have made it sound good. He's like, shut up, bitch. I'm yelling about the people.

Yeah, right. I'm yelling at the chat room. Just keep relying on the same old stick. At least the cool ones are coming up with the good stuff. You know? I mean the cool ones are coming up with the, I'm the GGL of the street. It's the lame old stuff. Oh, what's the color of the day? Oh, you know what? I get that a million times a day from you people stop it already. I mean, and you know, the funny thing is when you do it on the Facebook pages, you don't even know what you're talking about. Other you people,

the other people think of, wow, what adult this guy is. So anyway, Holly, you go on vacation often. He is going to pine for when he only got that a million times a day. Hey guys, for everyone who's talking about color of the day and all his old lame bets, he doesn't like it. It's bothering him. Stop it Yeah, don't do it. Don't do it. It's getting to him. It's annoying him. Stop it He sees it every time and it bothers him. So stop it right now Fucking idiot How does he not know how this works? How is that possible?

And then segues great now bitch, didn't you go on vacation or something? Back to the show so Christian Blatt's watching along and he's chatting and he got Scorch to read his chat. I don't know that scorch is picking up on the nuances of what Christian is saying The chat room so far I have got a let's go PFG gay So far the best one would be from the black cast who says we are less than three minutes away from Brilliance folks, so obviously, you know, what's about ready to happen. So yeah, we have a lot of stuff going on Okay, it's called sarcasm, sir

Black cats gets it this guy's all in with us. And he still sounds like shit. Oh, the audio is garbage. And I'm gonna play for you in a minute. The sound guy is his roommate. Oh, yeah. And he praises it. Fuck, I'll get to that right now. He's praising his roommate for doing the sound. And I got to think like, if you're gonna find a sound guy, maybe walk outside of your apartment Like next guy over he has a roommate. Yeah, it's like 70 years old

Did you think he was killing it with pfg TV he got fired from his radio gig and now this is what he's doing I thought he was doing something in Europe, too No, he's got a roommate and we're gonna be his roommate is doing sound here Mike spent hours and hours and hours putting this thing together and this is a guy we say it every week Mike this is not what Mike does. This is what Mike does now now This is not Mike's background and he's taking it as somebody said in the chat room You know what every single week kudos to you brother Not because you live in a room next to my mouth But kudos to you because you know what you're kicking ass every week

And if you saw the beginning of the shot 530 today the show starts at 7 530 today, but shit breaks Okay, 530 today And we talked about Mike through me and Holly out of the room. Yep. My score is hot get out of there You're bugging him Mike threw us up because he had to concentrate but yet you know what? He works his way through it and he got us and now look at us. We're live Mike snow. Give it up for Mike snow I mean like crazy your cameraman blind Mike. Yeah. Yeah. Oh that was a backhanded compliment He's like, yeah, I would have before the show. Nothing's fucking working All of that was a backhanded compliment. He's like, yeah, I went out before the show,

nothing's fucking working. But then he kicked us out of the room because we were being annoying. And look at it now. Some people can hear us a little bit, right? Amazing. It's just his sound because she was clear and he had the outdoor echo.

So it's like, the guy's not even paying attention to like what lines are going to what. Or it doesn't know how to do it. Like he even said right there, he's like, this is not his profession. This is not what he's known for. He's just my roommate and I needed a guy to do sound for cheap. And so he said he would do it. Yeah, it is backhanded. Yeah, it's terrible. So then he wants to bring Mike snow up and have a drink. They're going to do a shot at the end and this is more visual.

But what's happening here is that Mike snow is trying to change the camera angle. There was a spot in this. I'm not going to play the clip. I'll just explain it to you. Holly explains how she doesn't wear underwear and she tells a story about how when she was younger she was able to sit on her jeans in a way that she'd get herself off in class. And the entire time she's telling this sexy,otic story, the camera is just zoomed in

on scorch. So we're going to see this again. Not even at scorch's erection. Scorch wasn't paying attention of course. So what you're going to see here is scorch is trying to bring up Mike snow to do a shot with them. But the thing is zoomed in on score. So the guy's trying to figure out how to change the camera, but he only knows how to send it to all black. So watch this. This is ridiculous. I do anything else. I want to get Mike snow out here. Mike, if you would come on out here for the opening shot, if you would Mike, we we had Mike's coming because now it

dips to black coming out. Mike was part of the Festival that we all got to host out of this past weekend So first of all give it up for Mike snow ladies and gentlemen Mike snow so Mike realizes. He's not in the shot So he's like I gotta fix that. Yeah, why what are you doing? Okay, don't get never give it up for Mike What are you doing down there, Mike? Checking the mic, Mike. We don't have video right now? There it is, alright.

I see what's going on, I see. We want to see the scooch. Oh, I'm scooching. Twenty-six people watching this debacle. Okay. There he is, there's Scorch's roommate, another winner. He looks exactly like I thought he would look yeah he's like I can do sound what size real to real tape do you use double mono cool

up our TV real good so I figured he'd be good at sound. This guy looks like he might be trouble. He's just stop talking about him. Doesn't he look like you? Yeah, I know, right? I already got Eric July's fans coming after me. I got to fucking talk about Mike Snow now. What am I thinking? All right. There's one more clip I have for us because now they're going to do a shot and Scorch has decided that he has victory over Opie and Anthony. This is his big moment. He's been waiting decades for this to happen. We found out in chat rooms, I can't wait to see your responses to this. We found out that CM they call it compound media is no longer. And of

course, every week you're very free to tell us that we're beating the other guy. So you know what? As people said to us Scorch you won, so here's to you guys. Thank you guys very much Manly shot, holy crap Drink a blockanco tequila. Whoa. Apple pie. Yikes. Mike's like back at it. I gotta go ruin everything. So he just he just declared that he has more viewers now than Anthony compound media's out of business. He's the winner and the chat room's telling him that he's the winner. So I well, he might be beating Opie Yeah, right. So I decided to look up the two channels and we'll start with Opie here. Let's see what he's doing on his number

So this is just his most recent videos. He had well, what is that 60 views from five hours ago? 117 from yesterday 101 a day ago. 158. 519? That's a good one. Oh, that's an old one with Carl Ruiz. 257, 320. Okay, so we get the gist of that. So I'm thinking, well, Scorch probably got similar numbers, right? Yeah. Probably not. Beating Opie. I can't imagine. How would Opie feel if he knew that Sc scorch was getting better numbers. Oh no. Scorch has 3.3 thousand, 3 thousand 4200. Uh, this one 745, 189.

All right. That one's those make a little more sense. But if you go to his live tab, I couldn't believe this. 5,000 views. Yeah. Because that was all after the viral video. Oh, are people watching this to see if it's more hot, Mike? No, they're just like, they saw the viral video and they checked it out. And then they realized this is dog shit.

That's 3,200 views. Oh, you might be right, though, because that did make the rounds. So now Scorch is like, yeah, I'm a big star. Look at me, I got 4200 Run with it scorch Nice, it's like Aaron in holes doesn't matter why they're here watching me. They're here watching me, so I went again That's incredible Sorry, Opie you got to do something stupider

Wait for it. You gotta do something even stupider if you wanna get the views that Scorch is getting. He on purpose books a band and just talks shit on the mic in front of them and he's like You're really bad at stuff. Is that good? Is that good? That working? Opie would totally do that too. He'd bring it to Gebhardt's just to trash them. No he's just gonna be running around New York smashing cakes hoping lightning can strike twice. Yeah. Alright. Let's bring Kindy. Love you, Opie.

Let's bring Kindy out of the show. Kindy, welcome back. Hey. It's been a minute. How you doing? How's everybody? Are you wearing any clothing right now? I am, yes.

Sorry. Boo. It's the hair. All right. Very impressive. Kindy, it's been a minute. How have you been? How are things? Boo Alright very impressive Kindy it's been a minute. How have you been? How are things? All right? Things got turned upside down for a little bit. Oh

Like you got turned upside down. I Mean I do on a regular basis, but no not my way. I see I see not a fun way Thanks, didn't get turned up. Yeah, you're still hate car Your mic is It's cracking a lot and I don't know if it's a mic thing or an internet connection thing It's probably a bad connection. I so I don't I'm in a new place right now. So okay Yeah, so can you fix the connection? I don't care. Well, place your everything should matter that much. Can you know? I don't know.

It's okay. I've got these are what I'm using. I don't have my microphone. I stand badly and just got my fault. I'm sure you're pulling a Kevin Brennan on us. I gotcha. All right. You ready to do catching alien with us?

Candy. Yeah. Does anybody watch MLC this week? Kevin Brennan, the most entertaining thing he does is yell at Stevie Luke. Like that's the highlight of the show. Oh, he's yelling at Stevie Luke. I can watch this. His microphone's so shitty because he's using that stupid child's headset thing.

And it kept cutting out. Every time he was saying probably funny stuff, it was completely cutting out to the point where his but his audio completely disconnected and they just go on Sure he was ready like a lunatic but no one fucking no so that was the reference I was making I let's let's catch an alien Together it's time for everyone's favorite new game show to catch an alien

Are you ready to play? to catch an alien. Are you ready to play? To catch an alien. And Kanye rewrote the Bible. So he rewrote the Bible. I can believe that. Every mention of God took that out and put his name there. So in the beginning, so it will say instead of saying in the beginning, God created the heaven and the earth. That's not rewritings. I mean, that's just a fight and replace. That's kind of lazy rewriting if you ask me, but okay. Will say in the beginning, Kanye created the heaven and the earth. So you put yourself in a battle with God

That's not good. That's not good. No, because he's really in control of your life and your blessings. I don't know why I did that one. I can understand some of the genius things that he has done that just don't always make total sense, but that one... I don't know Kanye of anybody that one's what did Tommy say next here are your choices number one maybe he's a prophet B maybe he's a genius next maybe he's an alien. Ooh. Four. Maybe he's a god. And lastly, maybe he's a to catch an alien. Never seen a card of censor or something before. Alright, I always go first on these. I want it to be an alien even though I think it's a genius I'm going next an alien. What do you think Pat? I'm praying for lastly

Okay Not even sure what that word is, but it sounds fun. We know Paris Candy what do you think? I'm gonna say prophet. Hmm. Okay and producer Chris I went profit. All right, let's go. I can understand some of the genius things that he has done that just don't always make total sense. But that one, I don't know, kind of a buddy that one's maybe an alien. Maybe he's an alien.

That one right there. I just you know, but that one right there, I just, you know, I would, if I was... Cheater. Cardiff, I'll have for you that he said alien after his show. Cardiff's like, I got my clip, and we're good. I'm like, there's no way to pick alien, it's too obvious. If I was you, you know, I would kind of say, you know, well, God, I apologize for this place where his belongs. Rob, can you play me to that? You know what God I apologize for this place where his

That's all for this time come back next time to find out if you have the net and Yahoo enough to catch an alien Sit Eugene sit good dog Well, this is exciting its cars has been on a winning streak as of light Yeah, I finally got a W on this one even Cal Ripken have to miss the game eventually eventually he did yes Don't compare yourself to kill Ripken All right, what have we done today? We've done it all. That means it's time for everyone's favorite part of the show. The Teaser.

The Teaser. Next week's Teaser. The Teaser. Next week's Teaser. The Teaser. The Teaser. This is the part of the show we play, come from the podcast that we'll be reviewing on the next episode of Who Are These Podcasts. I'm happy to say, Mean Doug, Doug from Who's Right, is back on the show on Juneteenth, and he found this one for us.

And I am looking forward to it. He's like, I'm gonna have a lot of clips. Hey, everybody. Welcome back to Horror trans. My name is Stephanie Brie. I am a transgender woman who talks about all things horror. I think that's enough. So this will be interesting. I think I get the gist of that one too. Isn't that redundant? This is a woman with a five o'clock shadow who's overweight with a, not a cigar, but one of those cheap... Cigarillos. Cigarillos. Yes. In her mouth. Shadow who's overweight with a not a cigar but like one of those cheap cigarillos cigarillos yes in her mouth a wine tipped the horror trans podcast

yikes and I'm not trying to just focus on trans podcasters but they really are killing it lately they're bringing the content of this show. So I can't help. I like the ones with the five o'clock shadow. Yes. The ones who aren't pulling it off even a little bit. Yeah. Not trying. And I wonder how the other ones feel. The ones who put a lot of work into it. Do they go that? No, you gotta, you gotta shave. It's a put on makeup, but I mean, the least you can do is show you're making the less the rest of us look bad. I mean Astrogen doesn't that you stop having facial hair, right if you can't be lazy too All right, Pat, I want to thank you very much for coming on the show I always have a great time chatting with you. Thanks man. People can find the pet oat show

on the show. I always have a great time chatting with you. Thanks man. People can find the Pat Oates show. Uh it's at POS mornings on YouTube. And uh when do you uh do your show? We're doing it four days a week. One day Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday at 8 AM Eastern. We do two hours. We just shit on the stories of the day and stuff like that. Uncensored stuff. So, come check it out. Awesome. Well, thank you again, Pat and we'll definitely have a link. We'll have a link to your YouTube channel. People can subscribe to that hit the notifications

So that you are aware when they are going live and you can uh, Watch and also participate and good luck to john's cats. You know, good luck to them. Good luck to john's cats. Yeah Sorry, thanks pat. Thanks for coming on Yeah, right. No shit Kindy, are you worried about john's cats cats you think they're gonna make it across country? I am I'm not a cat person, but I like animals so you don't seem to be an anything person You don't seem to have any joy in your life I Do just not when you're around yeah, I noticed that I have noticed that you come into a dabble con too I

like Just found out about it. So maybe I go on vacation the next week. So we'll say okay It's right there. It's kind of hard not to it's hard not to it's not a far drive for you So hopefully we see you Hanging out with the potato and tookie. I warned everyone on be dabbling live Carl So many people regretted missing out on dabble con one that those people are going to buy the tickets first. Yeah. So if you went to the, if you were at dabble con one, you better buy your tickets now because it's going to be, your spot's going to be taken. It's going to sell out. Someone else.

It is going to sell out for sure. So watch for that. All right. Um, we're going to hit some net news. We'll be back with voicemails and whatever else Kindy wants to tell me about how much I'm sucking or how much people think I I'm terrible at this. Whatever it is that she does. But we'll be right back after.

Oh, Carl. Yes. Can I mention my new sponsor? Yes, please. All he knows I mentioned my new sponsor. Yes, please. All he knows. Paulino's epic yours. Now I heard that on summer to serve this morning. Very good. It's working. It's working for

many skinny many. So alright, we'll be back right to this. Recapping the week with your insightful comments. It's internet news with Lucy tightbox from Facebook. George Hardgroove posts a pic of Quadfather with the caption from zero to hero.

Shane Earl responds zero to zero point five. Travis Wilson, he still sucks. Jib Jiberson, he looks like he should be telling me about some forgotten weapons, but all we get is weird double secret ball washing. From YouTube, Spider2Echo quotes SJ. Enjoy life in a cage, says the walking talking zoo exhibit.

Gartner fan points out, Dr. Steve was clearly not practicing medicine. There's no one on the internet today more hated than the great, stuttering John Melendez. Casey Debris confesses, I did laugh pretty hard when John said, Quadfather, you'll always be in a chair because you're an idiot.

Like he's too stupid to walk? Gridlow notes, if it's like he's too stupid to walk gridload notes if it's true He's never been fired from teaching. That's Horrifying Robert Falcone with a damn good point. Dr. Steve could just claim it was a sex act Steve Bohn speaks for many I used to have some pity for John after the way he went after dr Steve and quad father. I feel nothing but disgust. I wish him nothing but the very worst. Attack on Timmy should be on Point Damble Point, Friday's 4pm Eastern Live on YouTube. Remember when he was crying because he cared so much about helping kids?

I'm letting it expire because I don't need it anymore. Spoken like a true hero fighting to help the children. Ex the Punisher Ex, John is right about one thing. He is winning because people keep giving him money. And those people are idiots. The Judge of Level offers. And try to obfuscate that reality by attempting to act normal. Unfortunately, Howard is decades removed from having any idea of what that looks like. DJ 7060 is stunned. When I first started listening to Howard 37 years ago, I never would have guessed that one day a show goofing on him would be more entertaining than his current show.

Jared Rockman with Sage Advice, I don't want to get too deep in a WATP comment section, but this is why forgiveness is important. Let go of the hate and live your life. Or don't and become a bitter old unhappy ghoul. And from Reddit, moment of zen mourns Quad. Now your life is going to change. You fucking watch your goddamn back, Quadfather. When Carl first started trashing John, he was a big-shot marketing executive, and now he is self-employed. What a loser! Given Carl's trajectory since then, I think Quadfather might be on the road to walking again. And Medthro plays us out with, if you believe his claims,

Stuttering John is Barney Gumbel. Super smart, professional, talented, and accomplished. But the instant a drop of beer touched his tongue, he lost all of it and his life turned to shit. That might be what Stuttering John is. he might be the most talented guy in the world he just is a booze hound. Yeah it's very possible he's definitely a drunk although it's early right now in Vegas I assume he's bragging that he's not drinking alcohol right now Cardiff. I don't know I didn't hear a lot of that he was going to the gym he did go to the gym okay well that's good

So he's staying healthy. I'm glad he's still bulking up for all the people he needs to beat up Do you remember when I started the Cardiff gimmick and I was tweeting images of me? Training the box and working out in a gym. Do you remember? He's literally doing the same dumb shit Yeah all these years later on of and El horrible was hilarious this morning on his show because John claims he's gonna come to Colorado Springs and pay him a visit So he's like yeah, so we've put out. What did he say course cans and Blowny yeah, me and my little sister. We put out course kids at baloney for we can't wait for him to get here exciting day

I hope he really does go to Melton's cuz Patrick was really looking forward to him I mean, I'm not kidding Patrick was texting me all day yesterday. It's John gonna come to my house Do you think he's gonna come like he really wants him to come to his house? He's all excited about it because I don't know if you know this about Patrick, but he's kind of a tech savvy guy about it. Because I don't know if you know this about Patrick, but he's kind of a tech savvy guy. He's gonna have some camera angles when John shows up. It's all gonna be captured for us. Kindi, at the risk of annoying everyone with your horrible microphones, is there anything that you wanted to read from us from the internet?

I won't. Aw, we missed you, Kindi, and you're finally back and she's growling at you more than ever Improv shows, okay Barely understand you. I know these improv shows. They're so bad. And then you go what else can I say about it? You guys get it, right? Pretty bad. Yeah, yeah, makes sense. All right, let's hit some voicemails.

Potato soup tomorrow night, Father's Day. Yes, Father's Day edition. Okay, you're gonna be covering all of this horse shit, I assume. Oh yes, he's definitely, I was again on the fence about a show, but no, I've got lots for tomorrow night. Nice, and of course Potato soup will also be live at dabble con 2

It'll be a potato soup tuki soup mashup and oj. Yes. I don't think I think we're underselling the oj Have an oj there his first live appearance. I mean come on everybody. OJ is gonna be there performing with you guys Does he have like a stupid so you wear a basketball on his hat or something what's he gonna do buy a ticket and find out okay that's the right answer my friend it's the right answer hey tell that stupid fucking hillbilly they called about emma till and tell them the difference in that case is that stupid cracker bitch admitted she was lying about the whole incident that's why we wouldn't believe her dumb fuck You should do a little research before saying some racist and And horrible like that bro. That's all come on. Go fuck himself and fuck his cousin

And you guys can go fuck your cousins, too Does anyone know what that's a reference to I don't They call the rug show I I want to say again. It's I know you're getting a lot to? I don't. No idea. Did he call the wrong show? I wanna say again, I know you're getting a lot of backlash on the Eric July stuff. I wanna say it's connected to that, but I have no idea about that world or this. Yeah, I know that. Yeah, that's the first thing I thought, but what Hillbilly?

Oh, maybe Riley? Riley's the Hillbilly? Riley's the Hillbilly, maybe? And there's racism, so... Yeah? ...is that. Okay. Yeah, I never should have dipped my toe in this water, huh? Wow, I've never seen a video of mine get down voted so quickly

Who are these high schools for gossiping bitches not for me Who are these high schools will be the death of W ATP. Who are these high schools? You jump the shark just like Fonzie. Who are these high schools? We'll be the death of W ATP. School sucks. What you're saying you don't wanna get all the hot gas from W ATP. That's not where you, you come to this show to get all the latest. Fair enough. I don't think he has happy high school memories. Right. High school gossip is the best. Hey, producer Chris and whoever the fuck else is on this show. Carl, I think you missed a big step. You're over here talking about how everyone you know has narcissism, whether it's fucking Patrick Melton or Stuttering John. But you can't point the fucking finger at Howard Stern,

which I feel like Howard Stern is the biggest example of this. Because you're over here talking about how he, what's the word? He tries to push sadness on the people, right? So like this most recent episode, you had him talking to some Czech about her father, and she was all accepting of it. I think Howard just can't understand that some people

are able to do things better than him, right? So Howard isn't able to get over all of his sorrows, but these people are, and he's just not able to understand that because he thinks everyone is worse than him. Anyway, probably did a sure job in explaining that, but you'll figure it out. No, I get it. It's not a bad take. It could be right. It's not the way I interpret these things, but you could be right. Like how is it possible? I still worry about my childhood and you're not.

Yeah, every time too. It is weird. Someone in the Discord is saying that, and maybe I missed this because I couldn't hear Kindy really well, that you have a bad mic and you're married now. Did you get married, Kindy? She's shaking her head no.

Okay, because if I didn't get invited to the wedding, It's probably this. Oh, maybe that's why. I'm not engaged. It was Christmas. It was Christmas present present but my boyfriend wait what was that what happened your idea of that yeah no you actually sound good yeah what did you what did you say who are these high schools it was a christmas present from my boyfriend last

christmas oh but everybody thinks i'm engaged because you're wearing a diamond ring on your on your left hand ring finger it's not a a diamond, it's an aquamarine. It's very light. Oh. Wish I could have gotten away with that. I swear to God, I had this whole conversation with my- It's not an engagement ring. I had this whole conversation with my girlfriend at the time. I was just like, diamonds are stupid, right?

She's like, no, I like them. I'm like, oh, fuck. Just tried. I tried. What are you going to do? You know, now that John's referring to himself as the Duke of the dabble verse and thinking people are scared of him when he says, Oh, you don't cross the Duke or all that horse shit.

You know, it reminds me of that episode of South Park that ninja weapons one that like it looked all anime and everything. And butters would dress as professor chaos. And then he would imagine himself all huge and evil and muscular and smashing walls. That's what it reminds me of when John refers to himself as the Duke. A perfect analogy. Cause as I've been talking about these revenge fantasies are so childlike. He's a child when it comes to stuff and then I'm going to work out at the gym for a week and then I'm going to punch you in the face a bunch of times and you're going to be so sorry you ever made fun of me. Like Jesus. Yeah,

pair that up with the level of delusion that he has. Right. And you've got a recipe for Captain Chaos. Yeah, maybe that should be John's new name. Maybe that should be John's new name. Stuck on my weenoo. Carl, let me get this straight. You throw a successful show in Vegas and then you do a recap show talking about the funny anecdotes behind the scenes. Yes, that's what we did. Office Ladies and I rewatch iCarly and a bunch of other shows that you've made fun of, Paul,

then they want their shitty format back, bro. Oh, he got me there Geez the hypocrisy police are sporting a justice boner right now Hey producer Chris, you know, let's kill him and then get him fired from his podcast Let's do it in the opposite order definitely not Nate from Flint. Yeah, it's not like Dave from Flint You've been done. Damn it. You got me good with that one. Hey Carl and Chris, I just have something to say here. Leave Andy the fuck alone.

You bullied him because he saw Army of Darkness was scary. Well, maybe it is scary, okay? It's absurd. He goes back in time and there's people that are dead that are coming alive And there's an evil monster chasing him. Okay, it was uncomfortable for me Andy squirm like a little nerd Don't do that. Okay. All right. Bye. That's pretty funny Don't do that! Okay. All right, bye. That's pretty funny.

That's very nice. You guys remember the Leave Britney Alone guy? It was a viral video when I was at E-bombs for all that, what that was based on. He was way ahead of his time leaving Britney alone and whatnot. I'm just listening to the Stud Joe back in the day podcast. It made me fucking mad that that asshole had Scott the engineer record those fucking niggerless cage tapes on the clock that he was using Howard's money and time to get another job. Fuck him. Yeah. I mean, it's not like Scott the engineer was very productive

anyway. I don't think that's the thing. Whatever it was just like after everything that Scott's engineer did for Howard, what did he do for Howard? He was the slowest guy. They had to bring in other audio engineers actually do the work. Scott didn't would complain about it did not do it. But all of a sudden I say, Scott, the engineers a piece of shit. And I got fucking everyone coming out of the woodwork. So it's got the years the greatest guy ever. It's like based on what?

They said anyway, he's talking about living in the past that are genre new series that we're doing on our Patreon if you sign up. Fantastic episode so far. Hey Carl, it's Vinny's chair. First time, well not first time, but long time. Oh, holy shit. I'm loving life.

This guy, oh man, so proud of Vinny losing weight, the goddamn circus elephant shed a couple of LBs and oh he went from a fucking fat, dead, bloated BBW big bloated whale to a lean mean fighting machine. God bless you Vinny, keep up the good work. You always got a chair in the corner if you need to sit down later. Yeah. I mean, obviously Vinny is fighting the chicks off now. Kenny's coming to dabble con just to be in his presence. Vinny is just, uh, he's killing it. And I just want to encourage him on his weight loss journey. Yeah. He's inspired me to actually gain weight because I don't have a chance anymore. Well, there's actually a product That you could try I believe Cardiff. That's a jingle for you

What's that? Everyone can lose weight if you just try this product. I think Cardiff is a jingle for you Go to the gym and eat better Oh It's catchy paulino's epic All right, let's get some love man, let's get some love for lisa on here Hey, i'm so sad to hear that. What's your name's in the hospital? Oh my God. You gotta be real fucking dickhead to make fun of someone sick, you know, possibly dying,

you know, but all your shows when you brought attention to her that really, it was funny and it was funny that you were just trying to just simply make fun of them so I hope nobody ever comes across those videos say oh you know what a piece of shit crowd no we're all being funny laughing and I hope she comes back and that way we have more laughs right you know how much he laughs about Vinny and and your producer fucking you know and is you know and his enemy in a sick head place so anyways i hope he recovers be safe my lover uh yeah love lots of love for lisa don't torture your dogs while you call into the show it's off-putting it's just for future reference all right one more uh voicemail here

reference. Alright, one more voicemail here. Hey, Carl, it's your business manager here. I wanted to talk to you about a few titles for the autobiography that you're working on. The team and I are kind of working on this and trying to come up with some ideas for you. The first one, we're just going to throw against the wall here. Carl's Club Foot House. the wall here, Carl's club foothouse. I don't know. Maybe I don't know. All right. So Carl, not in any single way. And we just kind of decided that maybe that's something we should throw out there because you say that only all of the time fucking always do

it really not anything I have a new thing now I have to listen for myself saying it doesn't top the charts I can give you an interesting it's no exactly no twice a show I just want to point out I just want to point out my new thing no it's not new it's not I hear what you're saying yeah back when I was but it's fair because you do want to point things out So back as we're got the agency I used to say What's interesting to note is and these guys you started to make it fun of me for doing that. I'm like fuck Okay, I'll never say that again. So now I got it

What does it again interesting to point out? I just I just want to point out All right, buddy, if you're not feeling those I I get it. I get it. We could go with mom, wife, and the smile talk tones. Oh, shit. Sorry, that's a band name idea that we had. Sorry. I'll talk to the team about that. But give me a call back, babe. Be good. Keep brainstorming, guys. I don't think we found it just yet. All right, kidney. Thank you so much for coming on.

Great to see you looking as excited as ever. Glad to see that you're back and cardiff. I got a better setup next time. Yeah, that'd be great. I appreciate it and cardiff working his ass off. No, there's isn't a harder working potato on the internet you're doing five shows a day now non-stop potato potato but go to patreon.com slash kind of like that's my home base subscribe to my youtube potato soup tomorrow night and check out today's episode subreddit

surfing it was really good with helga yes subreddit surfing. It's a really good one with Helga. Yes. Go subreddit surfing YouTube. Yeah. And Helga didn't even brag about her accomplishments or anything. Oh no, that's right. That's all she did the entire time. She could not help herself. It's so nuts. I caught the Dr. Steve show and yeah. Well I'd be dabbling today.

It was like she was debating medicine with them. She called in to be dabbler live today and started telling some race car story it was fucking it's never got love bumps from Dale Earnhardt jr. I don't know what are you talking about? It was insane. Anyway. I enjoyed that. Are we done here? I think we are. Bye Brennan. Bye! A plane has hit.

I rewatch it. Carly. Boom. Fuck his mom. Boom. Boom. Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr